#like literally just wanna die (: im so over life this shit is not fun i dont care to be here or anywhere

[dsaf-confessions]

So like after making that I think Steven's tragedy is overlooked confession I realised it isn't just him but also everyone else . Including Jack & Dave the most popular characters in this fandom

So like Dee. She was a child. I think around 6 years old. Idk but Im sure she wasn't even 10. And she also died in her birthday??. So like imagine being so young going to a pizzeria to celebrate your birthday, and then, you get killed by a pink fuck, in a place you thought was supposed to be fun and harmless children entertainment fun. And then said pink fuck, FORCES your soul in an animatronic. So like you spend decades, trying to save other children so they won't end up like you. Jesus, she tried her hardest to save other children, to help give them their happiest day that was taken away from them at such young ages. But it was a cycle of failure. She couldn't save them. She was still, a child, like them. A child that was forced to mature at such young age. Can only do much. It's so fucking tragic. I love her I rlly wanna hug her.

Peter. People seem to say that he abandoned Dee and Jack. But I don't think he did. He just moved on with his wife. That's kinda what married people do. Just because he wasn't there, doesn't mean he outright abandoned them. If he had. I don't think Jack would had run off to his place for help after his and Dee's death. Or that Henry's line about his family dying just to get away from him, and that he meant more as a phone guy than he did to his family when he was alive. Would had affected him, if he actually tried getting away from them. He feels bad for not being there for them. I don't blame him. He was a working man. He probably COULDN'T be there at Dee's party cause of work. Fazbender's is a shit ass place to work at anyway. He still blames himself. For his family falling apart. For leaving. He spent many years slaved at Freddy's while also having flashbacks/memories when he was alive. Sounds awful. His suicidal outburst in the evil route isn't talked about enough. He wanted to die. If it meant he'd see Caroline again. Oof

Even Jack and Dave's tragedies are overlooked.

Dave's backstory is so messed that it actually makes me sick in my stomach. No kidding. (Not saying it's bad or anything) So I'd prefer to not talk too much about it. Hope you understand .But in a nutshell. It's about someone who never had any kind of love growing up desperately trying to get the approval/love of the people he loves. And even considers family. So much that he's willing to take any kind of abuse, fucked up experiments, manipulation and literally killing him. To be with them. Cause he never had any love. He thinks they care for him. And that's enough for him to literally cheat death and posses his own corpse, over, and over, and over again. Just to be with them. That he was willing to murder. For them. Cause they told him he was doing good. Jesus. It's messed up.

Jack's own tragedy, and blackjack's, he lost his parents and was left as an orphan to take care of his sister at an actually young age. I think he was in his 19-20s when that happened. In fact Im sure he wasn't even old enough to drink on the state he lives in. Which I think already explains how messed up his mental health actually was. And then one day he messed up. He left Dee and that led to her death. He tried to find her, to save her. It cost him his own life. He was dead, soulless, people didn't saw him as human. They knew him as the ' scary orange man/guy'. But he made a promise. It's sad, one of the very few times he's actually acknowledged as human. Is the dsaf 3 good ending. Aka where he literally did everything for everyone knowing that in the end he couldn't pass on and get his own happiest day. And blackjack's regret. It was so strong that it gave him the power to go back in time. Just cause his guilt to turn back the clock and save Dee was that strong.

I think people should start seeing dsaf as something more than just "haha funny orange and aubergine guys have sex in Vegas". There are so many other things to it than davesport. For a series that's as much of a shitpost as dsaf. It's actually filled with angst. And so much potential only for the fandom to focus only on one part of it.

Anyway hi.

Can you guys that I like angst by now?

.

[pinkpicket]

What is ugly about u?

Wanna be humbled? If yes go and ahead and choose ur pile.

Okay wow so... i hated this reading. It literally made me so uncomfortable but ofc that's expected considering this a negative reading. Sooo read only if u wanna be humbled bc im 100% honest here.

Dont shoot the messenger. Im just telling u what tarot is letting me see.

1. Lmaooo ok i know this reading is about what’s ugly about but holy shit physically u r GORGEOUS like madddd gorgeous ( hotties hit me up bc damn 🫣🫣🫣) and the funniest shit is freak by doja cat started playing out of nowhere so definitely the hot people pile 😫😫😫. Now onto what’s ugly about u… so u got all major arcana… u really are something else i must say. Literally the only negative thing i see here is someone that might lose control easily and that’s about it like i genuinely cant see anything negative. So fuck it im pulling a few other cards just to see what’s up— okayyyy sooo i see u as someone forceful that might push people to do things they dont exactly want ( like ur very charming so this plays a role in this working) and ur verrryy aware that u do this. Almost like u r using ur charms to manipulate or get ur way and influence people ( im definitely not judging bc I do this myself lol im a venus dom after all, i mean who wouldn’t tbh? But thing is if we’re being honest, this is a negative quality and u probably know this too. So it’s up to u if u wanna change or not. Personally I wouldn’t 💀)

2. Your weak. Very weak it’s like someone that don’t keep their promises nor ever truly express themselves, u know how some people are the quiet shy type? ya i see u as that but ofc that doesn’t make them weak but in ur case u r. Honestly u seem very young or just someone childish, someone that haven’t been through enough to make them grow up. I hate to say this i truly truly do but ur the type to celebrate with ur friends and do all the fun and shit but when u r actually needed ( whether that’s to stand up or defend ur friends and the people around) u disappear. someone that wouldn’t stand up against the crowd if others get hurt. And that’s why ur weak, u never speak up. Ur all fun and shit until shit gets real. Definitely not a ride or die.

3. Oohhh ok we have a bunch of things. Well for one ur stingy, u know how some people love ti spoil their friends with presents well u r the exact opposite. Two u can be lazy like really lazy and u know this way too well. Like u dont do the work and u expect something in return…but that’s not how life works.

4. Okay ur WAY too proud of urself and ur accomplishments. Sure be proud but dont over do it. Pride after all is one of the seven sins for a reason. Remember remain humble, life is so much more than just low key bragging and being full of urself. And actually the way i see u is, u dont brag outright but the way u act and that look u get in ur eyes sometimes tells those around u more than enough. And u know this too so dont get angry.

Now if u dont hate me, follow me 💀💀💀 u know i still need attention after all🤡🤡🤡🤡

[feddy-fagbear]

I am more intrigued could you explain me the Michael and Charlie lore of your version of the fnaf?

so- ironically enough thats kinda what my current wip is about (okay really its abt explaining how the actual fnaf plot ties into everything but shhh) but- well ig let's start at square one

THIS ENDED UP LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IM SORRY FOR GIVING YOU AN ESSAY, this like is basically the entire plot of the au, im sorry, im just- really insane

Charlie's Dead, Now What?

funniest way i could subheader this thing.

charlie and michael are ~2 years apart in age, she was killed when she was 10, michael was 12, this was shortly after his younger brother died, i dont wanna get into why cuz thats a tangent abt william and his Things. so basically, michael's 12, his brother's dead, his best friend's dead, he's kinda curling into himself and then suddenly, like 5 years later, surprise, charlie's back. she didnt die??? but michael like- went to henry's house after a funeral didn't he? did he make that up? how else did he get her hair tie???

yeah, henry did some unethical shit, but who cares? william did worse so surely we can just- gloss over this. and that michael does, because HOLY SHIT CHARLIE'S ALIVE???? LIKE SHE DIDNT DIE???? (she did, just- she's back.) notably she feels like, sounds like, bleeds like a human. she's a human, and there is flesh that is very real, and- i made a post abt this literally earlier today abt the fact she's basically a meat puppet of a creature, but she's back! who cares! she got better

michael was also having a notably Not Fun time during those 5 years btw, 3 years later his little sister goes missing (dont question the timeline, i dont know if it works, i just thought of it and decided it was good enough) and so he's kinda dealing with the weight of that, his parents' marriage is crumbling and he's supposed to ignore that, and just life is getting Bad. so he becomes a total scumbag, really. (in turn, henry views him as a disappointment, and about as good as his father and this is important, it plays into things later)

Yay, Things Are Decent Again!

famous last words. michael and charlie obviously catch up, start getting close again, charlie's told to stop hanging out with him, and she says "no im gonna keep hanging out with michael, youre a dumbass, dad", and this just means michael deals with worse shit for like the last year of his teens, cuz like the moment he's 18 his mom basically fucks off to nowhere (maybe like- washington? who knows. she could be in europe for all michael knows, he didnt keep in touch, she hated him!) and his dad like- kinda also disappears for long swaths of time but who cares abt him, michael's kinda happy abt that, and henry is just- harping on his ass for being a "bad influence" around his daughter who might start smoking or something because of him, the fucking... bastard??? he's a teen with trauma but who cares, its like- the 80s, everyone's kinda fucked up and doesnt care (joking)

but yeah, michael still refuses to stop hanging out w/ charlie cuz 1) homie's got a fat fucking crush and 2) no one tells him what to do. but yknow, charlie hears abt this, gets into a fight with henry abt it, nothing like comes of it but its put strain on their relationship ("oh but pyro its important charlie cares abt her dad" i like destroying canon, henry's a shit dad TO ME and charlie doesnt feel all that connected to him to begin with), and michael starts yknow- doing odd jobs, mostly customer service cuz he doesnt have a reason to fucking go back to freddy's yet because honestly?? why would he without someone like basically forcing him to

he gets an apartment and like by the time charlie's 18 she's moved in with him, theyre sailing pretty smoothly, and... henry cuts off all contact with charlie. she's not really fussed about it (and he's not dead) so it impacts nothing, just means theyre... on their own. but they manage for a couple years and then things get bad enough michael has to work at freddy's for a bit!!

Oh This Is Where The Nightmares Start

this is just where i put all the gore. no but michael decides to work a week at freddy's just for the little extra cash it'll give them, and yknow he talks abt how terrifying the job is to charlie and midway through the week they realize something...

there's something that shouldnt be there in those suits.

anyways he finishes the week, ends up fired for tampering with the animatronics, and then goes back after getting fired, scrapes out the whole- regrowing dead children inside the suits, and then like- he and charlie uh- "properly dispose of the bodies" (burn them in the woods)

yeah this solves the dead children thing, sorry. yeah this au is mostly abt them healing after the fact

and then they get a Call. from who? william Some Strange Random Guy who's like "michael, i'll give ya a tip about how you can find your sister" and michael is So Fucking Broken at this point he's like "yeah sure i'll work at an Afton Robotics Company to get answers"

.... he survives... gets attacked by ennard at his apartment, charlie saves his ass, but uh- yknow- the thing about humans is theyre persistence predators... and ghosts dont have bodies to worry about....

so yeah he gets fucking ripped apart one day in the most brutal of ways, charlie can really only watch, helpless, and then there's this like year? two year gap were michael's like- dead and a skin suit as far as charlie's aware, and she's kinda- fucked- and has to finally reach back out to her father- but eventually! michael turns back up!

Part 4: Corpse Era

OKAY COOL SO MICHAEL'S NOT DEAD, except he's totally dead, but there's no like- metal spaghetti monster in him and he's just- walking about like normal, the scar apparently healed so whatever reason he's alive charlie... doesnt know.... but yknow what? she isnt gonna question it they have greater worries

like a metal spaghetti monster, and also the fact No One Knows Where William Is, and thats kinda Why Henry Disappeared, so like.... yay??? but anyways everything after this is just general lore bullshit so let's get back to the fun stuff

after william's dealt with (burned to death, it works the first time, steel wool era doesnt exist to me solely because im not a Lore Expert and we have such little info rn it feels like id just slam myself into a glass wall), and ennard is... gone (yeah this is a plot hole, listen, i'll patch it soon, maybe it also dies in a fire real nice and easy like) charlie and mike are kinda- left to their own devices now figuring out what to do with their life and well.... they just make the best they can out of it. theyre stuck on the outskirts of society but... it's perfect to try and find a way to heal, to move on past... everything they've seen and had to do and.... yknow- maybe they'll get to be truly happy one day. not in any traditional sense but who needs things to be in any way traditional when your entire life's never been that

i do plan to write some fluff and really bulk out this last bit but for now its kind of nebulous and floaty in my head cuz i just- suck at writing endings that feel... whole and complete? but i think a sort of vague "things arent good but they'll get better" is all you can really ask for in a situation like this yeah?

[incorrect-lu-quotes]

LU group as things I've said while driving:

Twilight: Oh! Puppy! *almost hits a curb*

Legend: It's a hill dude, fucking accelerate already!! - I hate people, how do half of you even have licenses!?

Time: Have fun dying dumbass

Wind: If this guy doesnt get off my bumper I'm going to commit a crime against him and his entire family -IM GOING 15 OVER, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!?!

Hyrule: You can try and pass me on the right but im petty as hell and will keep pace with the car next to me just so you cant

Warriors: Of all the colors for a sports car you picked that?

Sky: Im sorry i cant navigate to save my life but at least im not as unless as the google maps navigator: 'in 300 feet, take the second left' like what does that even mean?!

Four: Holy shit ive never seen a police pickup (truck) before... kinda wanna flip around and speed, i wouldnt even be mad if i got pulled over by that

Wild: I dont know if youve noticed the several trailers hauling construction equipment and shit, but buddy if you fuck up we are all going to die

----

this is literally me while driving 😭😭 i felt the "oh! puppy" one in my soul lmfao

[wayvsphantom]

ok hihihi im home from kcon so i wanna write everything i felt n saw before i forget it lmaoooo

nmixx: honestly super cute!! i didnt know the TWO songs they did but they were fun little summertime bops! i was up and moving for their "the feels" twice cover tho and i thought i was sick of that song shout out to the girlies for performing it really well!

ive: ok i dont know if my section is just women hating or women defending but my whole row sat down for their TWO songs and everyone got on their phones (including me!) instead of watching. I was genuinely upset and angry that the stylists for ive put them (actual minors, actual schoolgirls) in slutty schoolgirl uniforms, furthering the sexualization of minors needlessly and im glad people around me were also not supportive of it. anyway i heard them perform kitch (got literally no love from my section) and love dive (slightly more love from my section) but pls can they get some help im tired of seeing them do an overly sexual love dive dance break in slutty outfits when they are actual minors

cravity: they had good energy! i didnt know their TWO songs but they had good vibes and worked really hard!

taeyong: ok i thought i wasnt gonna vibe w his set but he came onstage and i LOST MY FUCKING MIND!!! like he really just has a star energy on stage it cant be stopped like he was my first ever nct bias and hes everyones bias for a reason!!! also shalala was so fun live the bass shook my bones fr ! taeyong you were great !! he should be really proud of that performance (of his TWO songs)

shownu n hyungwon: ok i did not realize how much i loved them until they performed on stage they were both so fucking good ?? like i fully need a mx tour bc i wanna see them so bad now ?? they peformed those TWO songs w such a fun sexy grown man energy that i was deeply missing lmao 10/10 pls come back to LA

wayv <3: OK U KNOW IM SOFT ON THEM BUT OMG THEY WERE SO FUCKING CRAZY GOOD WEISHENV U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS THEY CAME OUT TO SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAMS I COULDNT BREATHE I WASNT READY AND THEN IT WAS A NEW SONG (that i was not feeling i cant lie) BUT THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS THE KCON THEME SONG OR WHATEVER so i was able to breathe again.... anyway fake out over they came back later in the night and they WE4RE INSANE!!! LOVE TALK!!! U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!! EVERYONE KN EW EVERY GODDAMN WORD TO THAT FUCKING SONG!! I was getting teary wayv u r not a flop u are the most famous group in the world!!! xiaojun is unreal pretty btw also yangyang and hendery.... omg TEN!!! TEN IS SO TALENTED AND PRETTY!! also i fully understand the winwin hype now i would die to protect that man ok okokokokokokok INCREDIBLE!!! they also gave us eng ver of phantom she was cute too!! the dance break finale gave me chills omg but i was missing kun :/ wish they couldve at least mentioned him but whatever.... WAYV WORLD TOUR ASAP

taemin <3: honestly the greatest performer ive ever seen live like holy shit thats a once in a lifetime talent right in front of me like yes i am very biased that is my ult right there but like he truly cannot ever be replicated. he came out swinging w advice and the boom that was "NEVER GET THE KEYS TO MY LOCK" the crowd was readdyyyyyyy and after advice this man got a 5min standing ovation every single person there recognized his god given gift to serve and it was incredible to see LITERALLY FUCKING CRAZY AND THEN THIS MAN GETS ON THE GROUND AND WE'RE DOING FUCKING CRIMINAL??? THE SONG THAT MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY?? and he even did the slutty little cuff removing w mouth move and i lost my v oice screaming so hard i feel so lucky to have seen that my life cannot get better anywayyyyyy MOVE!!! WE MOVED!!! HE MOVED THEY MOVED I MOVED WE ALL MOVED!!! THE GIRL THE MYTH THE LEGEND THE MOVEEEEEEEEEEE!!! those hips.......... yeasssss......... !!!!! he was swinging that concave ass like his life depended on it! he was also soooo flustered from everyone going insane like ik he wasnt expecting it taemin you will be famouus for a thousand years babygirl and he said big shinee news coming soon so !!! soooo!!! world tour!!!!

ok i think i hit every group i will unpack the wayv m&g too but i just had to get this all out kcon will pay for their crimes of 2 song every artist like i'll never go to kcon again or recommend it to anyone but i had fun!

[ihave0hearts4me]

You Cannot Possibly Believe I Can Live in These Conditions

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

its hot and humid 

global warming is melting ice caps and releasing deadly mosquito viruses 

or some shit like that 

right now im feeling hot and bothered, 

and not in the good way 

i just wanna rip my shirt off and walk around in a bra 

well, everyone did just walk around in leaves back a few centuries ago, 

hell, women didn’t even cover their tits, 

they just hung freely 

This weather, 

Its suffocate 

I can barely even feel myself walking 

My head hurts, 

I literally feel like im gonna throw up 

I have to get out of this heat, 

Its too much 

I miss winter 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

The winters here are getting worse by the years 

I can practically smell the snow coming towards my “coastal” Heart Of Dixie town 

Im half asleep when my father burst in my room 

Wait what did i hear him say? 

The powers gone out? 

That literally never happens during winter 

It only happens during hurricane season 

This is so bullshit

My mother is always yelling for me to put on all those jackets 

She doesn’t understand that my outfit’ll look chunky if i put all if them on 

We make a fair deal, 

An undershirt, a long sleeve, a cardigan, 

some black pants with shorts underneath, 

and a winter chaleco for good measure 

That seems to satisfy her and myself 

I cant wait for summer, 

Shorts and tees everyday 

No chunky layers 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

Its settled, 

Im dying 

The impending doom that is summer 

Its here back again to kill us all  

It might as well 

Am i going to sound crazy if i say that the literal fucking heat is pissing me off? 

Because just being in it makes me hate everyone im with in the moment 

This human emotion called greed is never satisfied, it always wants something 

Midas doesn’t even compare to us here in 2023,

We want this we need that 

It’s getting so boring in my room 

I feel as tho this isolation is not fixing my problems 

God i cannot wait for school to start and i get to see all my friends and “be myself” 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

Ah yes, another thing ruined by humanity itself again 

Cant even go to fuck school without a bitch worrying she might die, 

And i thought my crushes knowing they’re codename was bad 

Its fine, 

I have a perfectly planned escape route for every classroom, 

But honestly, 

Who the hell thinks to do that kind of shit 

I mean i guess if it was just they’re bullies but, 

Innocent people, 

thats where the fuck i draw the line

And the violence in general in this world 

A man running over people of his own race, 

His own blood basically, 

Those dudes literally looked just like him

I mean, I get a humans thirst for blood, 

For fun, 

For gore, 

For crime, 

For rebelling, 

For attention, 

For vengeance, 

Im human after all, 

And really thats all violence is, 

Its a human quality  

Sometimes i think, 

I think this is all a play 

And we’re just players in a game, 

Just entertainment for a hierarchy to enjoy 

This is just a sick,sick game 

And when our life gets boring or they just want a show with a cliffhanger, 

Thats when it all ends, 

And that when we get reincarnated, 

Its just us getting a cameo in someone elses life 

Life, 

Aha, thats a funny word 

Life, 

Life, 

Life,

Life, 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

These horrible, horrible conditions 

Why i plead, 

Why? 

[sung0d]

Guess what guys! I’m in a love triangle! Or some other shape idk. But I’m living my main character dreams…. Joking! If that love triangle was like Freddie cook effy and I’m JJ. I’m the one who gets nothing yay! Isn’t this fun. God it fucking hurts so bad, like I love him so much. And I liked him first. And I fell in love… all alone. Every love song is decdiated to him when he has eyes for another girl who guess what? Is one of my best friends! And there making it official guys! Yay! My heart is not broken, I don’t want to kill myself and I don’t wish I never existed. It’s funny because my brain wants him to be happy with whoever but my heart is yelling betrayal at me and it hurts so bad. You know what

You guys ever feel so lonely you feel like the delusional shit you tell your self is genuinely just a delusional. Like on its own “finding someone who loves your romantically” is a plausible goal, tangible something that could be achievable but my past 18 has proved I’m literally delusional if I even think anyone would like me or want me. I don’t even want a relationship I just want to be wanted. I want to be desirable but everytime I fall in love, it’s always alone. And it always hurts as much as the first time. It burns the passion of self hatred that I was tricked again by myself that me, ME? This massive fat ugly stupid useless idiot could ever be loved. I’m unloveable. I despise myself for being hopeful. No one cares about me let alone wants me, I’m a burden. I’m too crazy for my own good and it’ll only be a matter of time before I die alone, and not a single person will notice.

Im so lonely I feel myself being crushed by it. I can’t survive the weight of my own deep seated loneliness, sometimes I’d beg god in my brain to give someone to hug. I hug my pillow at night to have the comfort of being held. I wanna be cradle and have my heart rocked to sleep. My parents can’t even love me, how should a person be able to love someone who can’t even make her parents love her… people that are supposed to love you whatever you are. I cry everyday at night all alone it hurts so bad. Love is a simple myth, something I only have in daydream. It’s for the lucky ones. But I’m never lucky enough in life. I love so deep it makes me want to hurt myself and smash it all into pieces, bleed myself out, strung myself up on wooden pegs and dry away any moisture of tears. I wanna scream and throw a fit so people rush over like a toddler. Funny I mention that because someone mentioned not too long ago I was throwing a hissy fit, how emotionally immature of me. I just want love. But I’m dying without it. People are so lucky it’s not fair. I hate all you lovers, screw you all

[television-pil0t]

I like men. I like being paid attention to as long as it’s not to much attention and it’s not pitty. I don’t pitty anymore and I’d happily make fun of anyone. If I spent time with someone it was because I simply wanted to. I like long conversation that have a meaning. I like poems but I hate to read. I like books but hate to read. I like literature but I hate reading and I don’t like audio books for some reason. I like cooking even tho I never do. I feel like the smartest person in the room at all times. I look down at everyone besides my EP. I loved Simon more than life itself. I was I love with khye. I have a awful memory especially the last couple of weeks. I like the thought of killing someone in great detail. I’ve tried to kill people. My favorite dream is just a replay of a man I killed when I was in 8th grade. Wanna die right now. I mean I need to be on suicide watch.

I don’t know if I feel love or obsession. I don’t know if ever doing the right thing. I don’t know how I’m feelin all the time but I try my best to explain it especially to my partner. I don’t know if I loved my mom or my last partners. I love humanity in a god like way, a “i like to look but don’t like to be involved.” I don’t know why I broke up with Simon. I don’t know why I left khye. I don’t know why I act the way I do. I don’t know if I wanna take meds or just figure it out myself. I don’t know why I’m so attached to my older brother. Don’t know if theary will fix this.

I hate immature people. I hate people that I feel like I can’t have a conversation with. I hate being me but I hate everyone else more. I hate partys and loud noises. I hate talking to people. I hate feeling tired. I hate sleeping. I hate myself but not enough to NOT look down at everyone else because I also think I’m the best and don’t need to do much to succeed.

It sounds like I’m just having a episode it me if that’s the case that sucks. If THATS not the case… still sucks. I don’t know what to do. Im gonna get off the internet though. For a pretty long time. I think it’s for the very best. I may or may not check myself in but I im very aware that I’m currently not ok at all. Reading everything over and over again. Pacing around my room. Genuinely frustrated. Im not ok. There’s something wrong and it might just be a silly episode but that dosnt excuse my actions.. even though I haven’t done anything to anyone. I don’t WANT to end up saying something publicly that would fuck up anything in anyway. I don’t wanna see anything. I just wanna live my life for a while and be completely alone.. maybe also not the best idea but.. idk what to do anymore.

Reading how much I typed how badly I wanna hurt Simon kinda just downed in me. He didn’t do anything to deserve it. He did his best.. right? So did my mom and I wanted to hurt her. I have a lot of issues. I gotta see someone man holy shit.

Being self aware is not cool. I went from “man I love this person.” To “I never cared about them.” And that simply isn’t true but at the same time.. I don’t remember ANYTHING. I don’t remember why I said that or why I thought it. I don’t remember HIS face or voice so I think that’s a pretty big sign. Sometimes I just talk and there’s nothing wrong with that when nobody sees it but damn good thing I didn’t text queenie about this. Because then I’d have to double back and be like “I lied I love him.” And she would be mad at me.. I HATE THAT TO ! I hate queenie. I hate the way see looks at me. I hate having conversations with her. She always thinks she’s right and I’m right.

Maybe I genuinely feel like this because I’m ascending. My human thinking is clashing. I gotta think on a different level. Idk how to though. I feel tired and uncomfortable. I feel like I’m sleeping right now but I know I’m up. I feel like I’m being watched. I literally ALWAYS feel like I’m being watched but this time is different. I don’t know what to do. Everyone is frustrating me and I hate making eye contact with people because it makes me feel like there reading me..

What if they are. What If everyone knows. I’m so fucking uncomfortable rn. I can FEEL the music that I’m playing inside of me. Like waves of it. I can feel the feeling of rain. I think I’ve always had a connection with rain. Not fire or anything. Not wind but kinda. I used to think I was the god or rain. Everytime I’d come inside my moms house it would start raining so hard. I’d talk to the rain. I can talk to it. I hear it sometimes. It’s like the rain talks to me and I genuinely fucking hear everything. Like the sound of angels speaking all at once. It’s often more overwhelming to hear than comforting.

And things have just been happening FOR NO REASON! Things that CORRATE TO OTHER THINGS! My dreams my feelings my emotions. They are mean something I swear to god I have to be some important figure. I have to have some big purpose. I have to. I am something.

[twinstarlovers]

I think ima be in my mars red hair era for 2 years for sure like my Scorpio Venus is gonna be strong. A lot of black sexy clothes idk. But yeah I read hair colors go w a certain planet so red is mars which is about energy, passion & shit & I see it. I was pink hair tbh. Not like bright pink but like a dark pink idk, I think it would only look good if my hair was straight all the time actually idk I could rock it regardless. But like later on in life ima start doing dark colors like midnight blue, dark purple, all that will be close to black lol or I might do black w red streaks type shit. I have my dads genes when it comes to getting white hair & I already have some lol. I’ve had them since I was like 14 lol. #trauma. His started at 18 so yes I think it’s trauma & genetics but anyways not the point. The point is that I think I might want my white hair to grow in like I kinda want it. I love how it looks. It’s like ethereal af even tho it’s showing my ass is about to die but still. My grandma from my dads side dyes her hair black all the time. She should be having full on white hair but she cares how she looks as a Capricorn so she doesn’t wanna look old. Actually now that I’m thinking of it, white is cute & all but ima look old af so I should be dramatic & put color like white w black streaks or sum cus I may look old but don’t get it twisted IMA STILL BE ME. I give old vibes already & its ugly af.

Okay but I’ve been emotional af & triggered cus im on my period cus it’s not fair you having fun in college & making friends but anyways let me stfu but I feel better saying shit out loud cus yes but what triggered this is this college murder case you’ve probably heard about. If you haven’t heard about it then don’t look it up, I’ll tell you in person LMFAO. No but yeah that case literally triggered me cus they was in college & they looked happy & I thought of you but anyways someone posted shit on tik tok about cities & to guess if & they were all so pretty. Idk where I wanna live. New York is cute for the buildings ofc but it’s tooooo crowded & there’s this case I watched that happened in New York & I’ve been traumatized by the energy of New York ever since. I watched this case like 3 years ago. I could go to New York to go but I don’t think I can live there. I feel like sometimes certain cases hit so hard that I feel the energy of it like it literally comes through the screen, it’s actually annoying. I actually had a panic attack over the case cus they did a Netflix series about it & it was sooooo good but incredibly sad & triggering. So yeah new York is a no. Those people aren’t dead tho. So idk why I’m saying a case actually. I love mysteries & murder cases & all of that shit but the downside of it is always the energy that I get from watching it. It’s always eerie & bad like 16 wishes energy LITERALLY. Something was off about that movie. It’s not even on Disney+ . It was poorly made too which I think is part of it but idk bruh, they probably put some evil energy/spirits in that movie. I even tried to look it up on google like if anything sketchy would pop up about that movie & it even popped up on my tik tok & I would look at the comments to see if people would say anything but literally nothing, people loved it. LIKE WHAT. Anyways where was I idk I forgot. Oh right so yeah um I kinda wanna live in Chicago, it’s so pretty. I wanna live in Miami but the heat is a no. I don’t wanna live somewhere where it’s hot all the time. I need all seasons. My fav season is winter. It could change to fall but I haven’t experience the Halloween vibe of fall so. Well Christmas is in winter but mmm the vibes of winter still happen outside of Christmas like the midnight blue sky, the cold, it’s so intense & pretty. The outfits are great. I’m scared to celebrate Christmas & Halloween. I’m literally about to cry now lol. I think it’s most definitely my period but just in general tho, it makes me sad. I still need to try trick or treating. I remember I would be inside watching others trick or treating & my parents would purposely turn of all the lights & shit so nobody would knock. I wouldn’t even eat the candy fr. I don’t trust other people’s food usually lol. Idk. Especially candy. I barely eat candy actually but the point is walking like a kid & looking at the houses. I wish I was a kid so I can actually knock on the doors & people not be weirded out. Brah, I couldn’t even celebrate someone else’s bd at school like if it was someone’s bd or it was a holiday & the class would have a lil party, I would be sent to a different room by myself & sometimes even if I was in the little parties, I couldn’t eat the cake or whatever cus my parents told me I would basically be eating evil energy into me. Even if I would bring it home, they would throw it away & shit. I never understood why Mother’s Day was bad growing up like I would make my moms a Mother’s Day card but she would just throw it away & say it’s bad cus Mother’s Day should be everyday like wow. It’s not that serious. So when Mother’s Day came up, I would say I could make the card but I won’t get to take it home cus my mom won’t appreciate it or anything so there was no point. Idk. Anyways bruh I really be talking out my ass but anyways where was I even at. Chicago & Miami but yeah Miami is way too hot so no. Umm like maybe 3-4 years ago I was really into Canada for a minute because of the buildings & my police show was made in Canada & the vibes of the show & the view of Canada… brb

[4usrhacidae]

I posted 205 times in 2022

32 posts created (16%)

173 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aftersun2022

@milkcrisis

@thefoetusallnuderevue

@bastardiando

@lesbianjinbe

I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#pics - 94 posts

#phorustalk - 36 posts

#art - 31 posts

#tv tag - 28 posts

#one piece - 15 posts

#roronoa zoro - 9 posts

#video - 9 posts

#spn - 9 posts

#spnposting - 9 posts

#tvposting - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#i have a bunch of og posts (from march 2022 and prior) that arent tagged at all and ill go through and tag them another time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

this show is so fucking funny. the winchesters are the only family ever that held the neurotypical child in a worse light than the very AutDHD one. “because i didn’t wanna bow-hunt or hustle pool because i wanted to go to school and live my life, which in our whacked-out family made me the freak.” like that’s hilarious. i just KNOW dean was getting a 60 or below in every class and his dad fucking loved him for it but sam gets straight As and Bs and his dad couldn’t give less of a shit. dean has never completed a piece of homework in his life but sam would always do his AND get it in on time and their dad discouraged sam’s way of thinking because he liked it better when they slacked off. dean’s only friends were other warriors cats kids and they were only friends for like a week because he was too weird even for them. sam made friends with or at least was acquainted with most of his classmates and that was seen as bad because he had less time to hunt monsters. literally magical.

6 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#4

sorry for theaterposting but the the general impression i'm getting from the rtc fanbase is that not a lot of people like or agree with the idea of noel catfishing mischa but i for one am super on board with it. i think it's hilarious.

think of your high schools soundcloud rapper (there's at least one of them). you don't know him that well and he's got goofy ass rhymes and he's just a funny character. now imagine your school and town are small and insanely boring, and you're the only gay guy there. you're bored as fuck and one day on youtube you see one of this soundcloud rapper's videos in your recommended and you think "hey, wouldn't it be funny if i pretended to be a hot girl and trolled this guy?" so you do and it's funny and you keep it going for a while because what else do you have to do. then it's been a couple months and you realize this guy is super serious about this relationship and you don't want to end it because you're still having fun, and also because deep down you know it'll hurt him and you've kind of gotten to know him. he ends up proposing to you and you don't know what to do so you say yes and you guys are having cringy google translate internet sex on the regular and he starts talking about saving money to go to ukraine where you don't live to meet you and you realize there's no way to get out of this without him getting hurt. you're vaguely considering faking either your death or your catfish persona's death because you love drama. then you go on a choir trip and the guy is there so you do what you usually do and reply to his texts whenever he's not looking. then you fucking DIE and you're like, this sucks but at least i don't have to deal with that fake online relationship i got myself into.

and then you look over and he's there next to you.

7 notes - Posted December 11, 2022

#3

izzy hands is so workingclass bitter prolegirl mindsick cripplerage.

10 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#2

honestly from now on im considering it a hate crime to think of zoro as straight. and cis for that matter.

13 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i love ruining zoro for dudebros. you dont understand him like i do. i know that hes fat and trans and autistic and gay and mentally ill and disabled. but even more importantly i know he likes math.

14 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fiddlepickdouglas]

.

[manjiroro]

I saw that your request were opened. and I want to ask you this. Your crossover characters fics make me smile so much ❤️

Can I request a Itadori Yuji reader x Baji, chifuyu, Mikey, Hakkai, draken, and Pehyan (sorry if it too much but I love them all)

The reader is a sorcerer and has Sukuna inside of them.

And make sukuna popping out and them questioning “WTF is that”

s/o who is like itadori yuji

characters: baji, chifuyu, mikey, hakkai, draken, pehyan

content: fluff, gender neutral, cursing, crack

hii thank you for requesting!! im so glad that you like them i was worried that people might not like them jfhancf also omg?? i love this a lot too with sukuna and everything jSJDFH

i apologise for any mistakes and i hope you enjoy~~

b a j i

your golden retriever personality makes baji smile so much

like you never fail to make him smile

baji is also gonna be super excited about the fact that you're a sorcerer and that you can see curses

pleaseee he wants to fight them too

but because you're too nice and can't resist him, you can't find it in your heart to tell him that it doesn't work that way

"Babe babe babe. If you see a curse, could you tell me? I wanna fight them too"

"Kesuke, you can't even see where you're punching??"

"Yeah but if I start punching everywhere, I might hit them."

"..Sure! I'll let you know okay?"

but of course, when you go out on missions, there will be a possibility that you'll die

so baji is gonna worry about you

but he believes you’ll come back safe because he knows you’re strong

you're also very outgoing and easily excited

which baji loves because he'll bring you anywhere and you'll manage to make the date much more fun than it originally is

he also admires you for your morals and how hard you'll work towards it

like how you would put your life on the line to save others

as much as he's worried for you, he can't help but to be in awe at you as well

that's what he loves most about you after all

when you'd come home from your mission and after being tended to by other sorcerers

you'd be exhausted

so baji would come over to pamper you by getting you gifts and giving all his attention to you

it's his way of showing his love towards you

when he first found out about sukuna he was super confused

sukuna popped out one day when you were about to leave for a mission and baji was asking if he could come along

and sukuna is just

"Yes y/n, bring him along, I want to see him perish."

you've never slapped your cheek so fast and hard before, turning to baji, he just has this :0 face

he was confused out of his mind, he was so sure he was dreaming

"The fuck? Am I.. dreaming?"

"No foolish boy. This is reality."

you had to explain everything to baji and he's still confused

the fact he can't get over was you swallowing fingers but he's not gonna question much

baji wants to fight sukuna so bad

because sukuna keeps interrupting the both of you and saying snarky comments to piss your boyfriend off

"Babe, can you switch out with him? I’m going to kill him."

baji would ask one day when he's sick and tired of sukuna's shit

"Babe, you'll die and I don't want that. Besides, isn't beating him up the same as beating me up?"

and that's when the idea of fighting sukuna flies out the window, he doesn't want to hurt you

but there are times where baji would accidentally slap you because sukuna said something to piss him off

he'll regret it instantly and tries his best to make it up to you <3

c h i f u y u

chifuyu thinks you're literally perfect

like everything, from your personality to your humour

and he thinks that he's very lucky to have you like him back

he just loves being with you and spending time with you

because you never fail to make his day better

even when he found out about you being a sorcerer and able to see curses

he still loved you even if he was slightly terrified

because you basically just confirmed his superstitions

at first he's gonna be on edge and he'll ask you to make sure he's alright

"Babe, there's nothing behind me right? Please tell me there's nothing there."

"Nope, don't worry hun. If there are any curses, I'll protect you!"

that always reassures him

after a while, he's used to it and he knows that you'll always take care of the curses if there were any

but he can't just let you be the only one protecting him

so while you're in charge of protecting him from curses, he's in charge of protecting you from gang stuff

even if you can fight well

he finds it amusing whenever you tell him about your missions

the way you described your fight was so interesting to him

it was as if he was reading an action manga

but when you go out for missions, chifuyu is gonna be worried sick

because you could die and he doesn't want that to happen

so you make sure to call him immediately after your mission

he'll then come over to see you at the place you're being treated at because he cannot wait any longer

he'll get you tons of gifts to make you feel better

when you finally get to go home, he'll be waiting for you at your place to pamper you

but before that, he knows you're tired so he'll cuddle you until you fall asleep

he's well aware of you sacrificing yourself to save other people

he’s worried but he admires it

when you would come to him looking upset because you failed to save someone

he's gonna be there to comfort you and reassure you

when he found out about sukuna, he was terrified because a curse?? is?? in?? you?? the king of curses no less

it happened when the both of you were cuddling and sukuna stated his opinions

"The both of you disgust me."

it caught chifuyu off guard, so he hurriedly scooted away from you while you sigh

"Seriously Sukuna? Didn't we make an agreement that you'll never come out around Chifuyu?"

"I'm not one to keep promises, I'm sure you're aware. Also, I do not like being around your displays of affection."

"What.. y/n..?"

"Oh sorry Chifuyu, this is Sukuna."

it was an odd introduction to say the least

chifuyu was afraid to go anywhere near you for a few weeks after that

but you had to reassure him that you had a talk with sukuna and he wouldn't come out anymore... hopefully

but after a while chifuyu had gotten somewhat used to sukuna

and he mostly felt annoyed with him for interrupting

whenever sukuna interrupts something, chifuyu will groan and roll his eyes

but aside from sukuna, he still thinks you're perfect and he would never think of leaving you <3

m i k e y

mikey thinks being around you is comforting

and he really likes that 

because he’s constantly surrounded with the responsibilities of being a leader so being with you puts him at ease

because you’re so nice, you’ll bring him all sorts of snacks whenever you visit him

he’ll tell you about his day and what was bothering him and you’ll always manage to cheer him up at the end of the day

his favourite thing is when you pull him close to your chest as a way to comfort him

he really feels like he can properly enjoy himself without having to worry about anything when he’s with you

when you told him that you were a sorcerer, he was super excited and super curious about curses

“Is there anyway for me to see them? I wanna know how they look like.”

“Well.. there are special glasses for you-”

“CAN I HAVE THEM?”

he’ll ask you to tell him all about your missions

and he honestly thinks you’re so badass

especially when he sees you all beaten and bloody

of course he’s gonna be worried about you but the thought of him dating someone as badass as you is at the back of his mind

when you go off for missions, he’ll give you a tight hug before saying bye to you

he’ll sometimes whine for you to not go because 1. you might die and 2. he won’t be able to get any cuddles

but when you come home though, he’ll be ready with all sorts of gifts and tons of hugs and cuddles

because he misses you and is thankful that you survived another mission

he’s really appreciative of your goal to save everyone

because he has lost people in his life, so you saying you’ll protect people to prevent them from dying really makes him happy

he’s very interested with sukuna 

he’s just in awe like there’s a curse inside you?? that’s kinda cool

it all happened when sukuna decided to say something when you were stroking mikey’s hair while he laid on top of you

“Y/n, could you please stop putting me in this boy’s hair?”

mikey sits up immediately, he grabs onto your hand and was staring at sukuna’s eye and mouth

“Babe?????”

“No one’s telling you to stay on my hand, let alone come out, Sukuna.”

you explained everything about sukuna to mikey and he’s lost for words 

because it was the most bizarre thing he has ever heard

but he’s genuinely curious about sukuna and when he interrupts, mikey takes it as an opportunity to ask him questions

it happens too many times that sukuna got annoyed at him LMAO

“Babe, Y/n, can you switch out with him? I wanna see how that works.”

“Mikey... it’s too dangerous to do that. And also, he says no.”

but sukuna in your mind is just

“Switch with me Y/n, I’m going to kill the brat.”

mikey is thankful to have you in his life and he loves and appreciates you just as much as you do for him <3

h a k k a i

hakkai likes that he can be comfortable around you

at first, he was super shy around you

and you noticed this, so you would put in the effort to make him slowly open up to you

he’s appreciative of you being patient with him 

but oh my god was he worried when you told him you were a sorcerer

he’s worried for his and your well being and safety

his because he found out that there was such things called curses who cause harm to humans

and yours because it was your responsibility to deal with these dangerous creatures

you’re aware of his fear towards curses so you won’t talk about them to him

when you have to go off for missions, hakkai will be scared shitless for you

you did tell him of the possibility of you dying and he’s just even more worried for you

he’ll try to distract you so you wouldn’t go to your missions

but you always promise him that you’ll be back to put him at ease

he’s still gonna be worried sick while he waits for you 

when you’re done with your mission, you’ll text him immediately to tell him that you were alright

he’s sure to bring you flowers when he visits you at the place you’re getting treated at

he will ask you about the injuries you have to make sure that it wasn’t too fatal

he’ll be with you until you could go home

when you get home, he’ll make sure you’re comfortable by tucking you in bed with many pillows and soft toys surrounding you

although hakkai is gonna be worried for you, he really is thankful for you risking your life to help other people

so making sure that you’re comfortable is his way of showing his love and appreciation for you 

sukuna scares the shit out of him

the first time hakkai encountered sukuna was when you were passed out after a mission

and hakkai was staring at your sleeping form when a mouth and an eye appeared on your cheek

“I don’t understand you mortals. Boy, why are you doing this for this useless mortal?”

hakkai has never screamed so loud in his life

you woke up panicking

“BABE? WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?”

but then sukuna started laughing and that’s when you understood

you had to tell him all about sukuna being in you and hakkai almost passed out

his poor heart, he was terrified for you and himself

he’ll avoid getting too intimate with you until you give him reassurance that sukuna wouldn’t pop up 

but from time to time, sukuna would come out or even switch with you just so he could scare hakkai

you feel really bad for sukuna scaring your boyfriend so you’ll always apologise and try to make it up to him

despite sukuna scaring hakkai, he still loves being around you and loves you for being apart of his life <3

d r a k e n

draken loves that you make the effort to understand him

i honestly feel like he is more used to giving than receiving

so with you, he was able to understand what it’s like to be pampered and loved

but draken isn’t one to be very vocal about his love towards you

and he’s thankful that you understand that and not pester him when he isn’t giving you much attention

when you guys hang out, he enjoys it a lot

mainly because he loves your humour

you can make anything fun and he really likes that about you

draken was super indifferent when you told him that you were a sorcerer

his reaction was “oh cool.”

you were expecting a much more shocked reaction by him 

but he thought you were joking with him 

when you tell him about your missions, he just thinks it’s the plot of a manga that you were reading

he really didn’t believe you

until he met sukuna LMAO

it was when you were walking with him when a gang came up to challenge draken 

to protect you, he beat all of them down while you stood behind him 

when your boyfriend was done, he came up to you

“Wow~ That was impressive Ken~!”

“That was not impressive at all. I can defeat them all faster than he can.”

you hurriedly slapped your cheek while staring at draken

the both of you just stared at each other in silence

“what.. the fuck.. was that?”

and you explained who sukuna was 

he was at lost for words, there was just too much information flowing into his mind right then 

but he definitely believed that curses are real and that you weren’t joking with him this entire time

i feel like draken wouldn't be affected by sukuna too much

because the both of you wouldn’t be intimate with each other often

and when you do, sukuna will pop up which will make draken maybe roll his eyes but that’s it

he’ll probably tell you how annoying sukuna is also

“Babe, can you tell him to stop interrupting us?”

“I did, but he doesn’t care.”

“Of course I don’t. But I can’t stand being around when the both of you start being intimate.”

but now draken believes that curses exist and when you go out on your missions, he’ll be there to root for you

before you leave, he’ll give you some form of encouragement 

he has complete faith in you, he knows that you’re strong and that you’ll come back safe

but he’s still gonna worry a little 

after your mission, he’ll visit you with gifts and he’ll listen to whatever happened during your mission

he still finds it bizarre that it’s all real but it’s interesting to hear you talk about it

draken knows about your morals and goals of protecting and saving people

but when you come to him, looking all gloomy because you failed

he’ll be there to give you all his attention

he’ll listen to you and help you feel better by cuddling with you 

draken hates seeing you upset, he thinks your smile is the prettiest thing in the world he’s ever seen <3

p e h y a n

peh yan loves you because you’re one of the few people who aren’t judgmental towards him

you were just so nice to him when the both of you were talking and he just caught feelings for you

he wasn’t expecting you to return the feelings 

he was over the moon when you said yes to getting together with him

peh yan loves it when you would list out the things you love about him 

he finds it comforting and reassuring 

when you told him you were a sorcerer however, he doesn’t believe you IHDAO

mainly because he’s in denial that curses exist

only when you managed to tell him specific details about your mission then he believed you

but he was still slightly skeptical about it 

when you come back from missions all beaten up, he though that you had gotten into a fight and was ready to beat them up for you

but you had to tell him it was from the curses

he’ll still think you had gotten into a fight but he’ll choose to trust your word 

he finally believes you when he saw sukuna

you were explaining to your boyfriend all about curses and he was doubting you

until sukuna decided to pop out to scare him

“I am in fact real you foolish mortal.”

“Sukuna! I told you not to come out around him!”

“I do not care. He was doubting that I even existed.”

peh yan just sat there, mouth agape, he had to blink multiple times 

he thought that his eyes were playing tricks on him but no matter the amount of times he blinked, sukuna was still there on your cheek

“I.. believe you now.”

sukuna would come out to annoy peh yan and your boyfriend was very irritated with him

so like baji, he’s gonna wanna fight sukuna too

but you had to tell him that he was gonna die and that punching him was the same as punching you 

only then did he change his mind

so now he’s aware that curses exist

and he understands how dangerous it is whenever you’re out on your missions

he will be worried for sure and he’ll ask if he could follow you to help you

“I’m sorry babe, you can’t come along.”

“But, what if you get hurt? I won’t be there to help you.”

“It’s okay hun, I’ll be alright and if I do get hurt, the other sorcerers can help me! You’re helping me enough by believing in me~!”

that always manages to reassure him and he’ll give you a hug and a quick peck before you leave

peh yan will get you any kind of gift you like when you get home

either favourite food, drink, that stuffie you’ve always wanted or anything that he thought you may like 

you’re kind of like a role model to him too

because he really looks up to your morals and he feels like he should follow them to become a better person

peh yan loves you for accepting the person that he is and he could never ask for a better person to be with <3

❥ masterlist

[bakidose]

hi baki!! if your requests are open, may i ask for angel devil relationship headcanons?? thank you <33

— CSM ## ANGEL HC

warnings: mentions of sex toys + quick mention of pegging + cunillingus + blowjob + mentions of death /dying + very slight angst + angel being a brat

pairing: chainsaw man's angel devil + fem! bodied reader

a/n: phew first work ive posted on here thank u sm for requesting <33 tbh i was panicking on how tf id even go about this and ended up writing wayyy too much 😭 anyways- i had fun writing and he deserves more content fr also i didn't rlly know if u wanted it to be sfw or nsfw so..i did both lol enjoy

SFw —

baby you are my- ANGELLLL

you guys have ice cream dates often since its his favorite !! he does expect you to pay for his share of the ice cream though LMAO but really he enjoys all dates you two have that involves food. he eats anything and everything

except bugs, he won't even come close to that shit "you're telling me you're cool with eating a zombie...but not a beetle?" "yeah </3"

also holding hands?? yeah happens a lot after he started wearing gloves so no direct contact would ensue. holding hands while walking, hands intertwined while watching a shitty tv show on the sofa together, holding hands while doing literally anything. "why are your hands so cold?" clasps your hands with both of his, says you have him "put in too much effort for you"

"sir..." yeah, he's almost always the one instigating hand holding 😌

you and him also cuddle often, very careful with the way he touches you, making sure his body is against fabric and not skin. he's already content enough with the warmth your body gives him

you love to play with his hair, braiding it, up in a bun, anything really. and he especially loves when you run your hands through the strands of his long hair. it helps take his mind off things. definitely will reciprocate if you let him

another thing, he doesn't even try to come up with an excuse when he doesn't wanna do something labor inducing. will just straight up tell you he doesn't want to 😭 so you end up doing it yourself 😃

despite how lazy he can be and how hed rather drop dead than be doing too much, oddly enough he really enjoys baking. says its "not nearly comparable to working at a job" angel baby...chefs and culinary artists exist 😭

it started when you asked him to come over and bake something with you. he enjoyed the time spent together and how good the cookies you both made were hebarelyhelpedyoubye

loves red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting a LOT also, cherry pies. really loves those mfs

just has a really big sweet tooth omg

likes spending time with you overall. never knows when he'll be gone or vice versa, given the fact that he's a devilangelman

you two don't kiss very often either but you still do it because kisses make heart go brrr even though he scolds you not to. 1 week off of your life for a simple quick liplock? you'll take it baby :3 he lowkey loves the feeling of your plush lips on his though so,, he doesn't fight on it as much as he should

wishes he could decide how much of someone's lifespan he can take but unfortunately can't. if he could, he wouldn't take any at all from you

just wants to be happy and stay with you as long as possible :(( he'd never admit it but, you're what's keeping him going

which is why he doesnt understand why you're not more careful around him

"are you trying to die quicker?"

"im not. but i care a lot more about you. and if that means my days shorten just so we can spend more time together, so be it"

calls you a moron. says you humans need to care more about the time you have left on earth since there's not much. pretty ironic considering he's immortal but wishes to leave this place as soon as possible

he does find it touching that you cared that much about him; enough to sacrifice something as important as your life. wouldnt admit it but his feelings grew for you more that day along with the already very present need to protect you

you and him both know how much hes in desperate need of physical affection and you're more than willing to give it to him

the love you two shared was almost poetic <3

despite the obstacles you two have to overcome to make your relationship work overall, pretty and caring boyfriend. would 9/10 recommend

nsfw below the cut !

NSFw —

let's starts this off by saying, phew you're in for a rollercoaster to heaven and hell babe 😭

you begged to suck his dick bye

he just looked at you with the most deadpan expression in his eyes like "no.. im not gonna risk taking some of your life away just for that" and you were like "no baby it'll be worth it trust me pls"

he really doesn't want you to die basically

cause of death : dick

you are the definition of down bad, you are down bad as fuck

you ended up teasing him so much that day with lewd little whispers in his ear, "accidentally" grazing your hand over his clothed enclosed cock

"you don't know what you're asking for"

and yeah </3 you really didn't cause the moment you two were alone, away from any prying eyes, he shoved you down on your knees, head being forcefully pushed to come face to face with the obvious tent in his slacks

"such a needy little cockwhore" "is this what you wanted so badly huh?"

his head spins seeing you barely able to give back a reply, throat too preoccupied, busy being abused as you garbled out an incoherent 'yes' from those spit smeared, swollen lips. tears welled up in your eyes but fuck, it felt too good. hes taking control while you do it, hands gripping your hair; careful not to touch too much. you're being such a good girl for him. he's already taken a month off of you just by your mouth on him

speaking of which, since that's one of the biggest problems, he loooves using toys on you or watching you use them on yourself

watching you writher and moan, a blissed, fucked out look on your face. please he loves it, it turns him on so much

mutual masturbation is also a staple in the bedroom since you don't have to worry about touching each other and he doesn't have to worry about shortening your lifespan </3

but when he does feel like taking the risk mostly due to your happy-go-lucky ass 🙄

loves to finger fuck you. especially eating you out phew its like an ice cream sundae on a hot summers day to him. tongue lapping up and circling your little bundle of nerves lazily, mewls occasionally slipping from his pretty pink lips

overall, very uninterested-like, doesn't wanna put too much effort cause...no lol

angel : "i respect it, but it ain't me"

you really gotta rile him the fuck up if you want him to put more effort in and just go wild with no inhibitions, discarding the fact that he's removing some of your lifespan. that last part is really the only thing stopping him 95% of the time

now, even though i said he's uninterested in everything he does. even in the bedroom. don't fool yourself into thinking that he won't make you cum 3 times in a row cause he felt ' bored' that day even though you're begging him to spare you mercy, that its "too much" and he's like mmm "i don't feel like it" literally does not give two shits. you cant take it? hm too bad, cause he decides whether he's done or not

he's not really a horny person to begin with honestly. sex drive is really low since he doesn't need it but your sexy self changed him 😫

definitely a switch. no, i don't take constrictive criticism </3

also goodluck tryna get him to be an obedient submissive. he won't let you 😁

but,,, he still somehow takes control either way LMAO

he's both a brat and a brat tamer 💀

you'd realllly have to beg and whine for it, eventually caves in cause you're being annoying as fuck and doesn't wanna spend the energy bickering 'no' and 'yes' back and forth

he is soooo mf sensitive help swirl your tongue on the tip a little bit, follow the vein from the base stopping just right under the head- he's out. gone even. he just visited heavens gate right then and there

also, his moans bro? fucking angels are singing, a whole choir. you swear it sounds angelic as hell. probably because he is one 😟 but i digress. sound's breathy, panting almost. a little shaky too. soft groans mixed with low moans. timid and shy like he doesn't wanna let it out too much. a kept secret just between you and him

his face flushed, squirming and chest heaving, choked out pleas begging for release. he'd cuss you out and you'd coo something along the lines of :

"aww baby, if you stay still and be a good boy for me, maybe ill let you have it"

would eventually crack and give in cause holy shit he's about to cry

and does end up crying once you finish him off, overstimming him

"s'too much" he says. "ill say when its too much" yeah, you'd totally give him the same treatment he gave you 😇

honestly him subbing could go both ways. he gets pissed that you bossed him around to the point where he was begging for it and he ends up dicking you down cause fuck it what's 7 more months less of your lifespan when y'all are having the time of your lives in this very moment

or he ends up being exhausted as hell and goes out like a light immediately afterwards

couldn't deny afterwards how much he enjoyed being a subby bitch for you though </3

pegging? yeah, he was down for it after that. but that's for a different time 😚

overall, you and angels sex life is quite literally teetering on the edge of death

lifespan lost : 4 years

published : 6/4/21

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Heyyy ok but what about dad!tom finding porn on his 15yo boy’s phone and having "the talk" with him 😭😭 I live for this😌

Trying writing again, seriously guys idk whats going on with me. And im terrible at doing “the talks” so take it as it is-

warnings: ya know..porn and praying children<3...and a hint of bisexual!tom👀

Its normal, Porn. The dirty sight for anyone to see. Tom did it once, only once though. He found it pretty creepy and stalkerish that hes watching people have sex. When he was 15 and thought about sex it caused insecurity because he noticed that you HAVE to get naked. It just shivered his veins. well of course until he met you. 

So when Tom and Wesley were cooking for your birthday, Tom forgot an Ingredient. “Hey- wes, can i borrow your phone?” tom struggled, his hands covered in flour as he looked at his sons phone. Wesley's eyes widened as his hands were also covered in flour, he turned, wiping his hands on the black apron before chuckling “y-yeah dad”. Tom laughed and also wiped his hands with a towel before grabbing his phone. Wes’s knees almost gave out as they shook and his body felt like it was going down a roller coaster, he jumped when his dad asked for his code. “Its my birthday” “oh- of course, it is” tom mumbled, leaning on the kitchen island as Wes got back to work, trying not to look weird as normally he would stand over his dads shoulder watching his fingers tap away in his phone, not that he did it before. 

Toms eyebrows furrowed as he bit his bottom lip, wondering if he should search through his phone while he already has it, only to shrug his head no saying thats not a good thing for a father to do. He clicked on the safari tab, Wes’s phone acting slow so he reached and grabbed his glass cup thats filled with water, only to choke and have his eyes widened. “Oh shit” wes mumbled to himself. Tom didnt even look further, he slammed the phone down but both of their ears turned red when a loud pornographic moan left the womans mouth “yeah fuck my cock”. “OH MY GOD” tom yelled in his british accent, grabbing the phone and screaming when he was met with liquids shooting at the camera, he shut off the phone and placed it back on the table, Wesley's hand slapped over his mouth as he cringed intensely by the word “cock” but then soon becoming more embarrassed that his dad knows he watches….well, that. “Im gonna use the bathroom” wesley said, not looking at his dad as his cheeks shot red. “Erm….im gonna set a 15 minute timer” “DAD” wes said storming off to the bathroom. “Im gonna die” wesley muttered to himself, cursing at the lord for letting this happen as he also begged for forgiveness and asking for this not to be a big problem, just on his knees infront of the toilet, apron still dirty as he shut his eyes tight. 

“God i swear if my dad leaves me alone i’ll pray EVERY night, i’ll sing- look i’ll sing this church song”

By the way, he only heard it from some where.

“Take me to the kinggg, i dont have much to bring” he didnt know anything past that so it didnt do anything in his favour, it only made tom furrow his eyebrows from the other side of the door before knocking making wes silently flinch at the holy ghost “just please- dont do this” he whispered. “I-i can hear you son” tom awkwardly smiled, “mind coming out now?” “ive only been in here for like 5 minutes” “can we just talk about it?” “i dont know if id be comfortable with that-” “or else it will be with me and your mom” “oh my god” wes stood up and did a “woo-sah” looking at himself in the mirror before turning around and hesitantly opening the door. Tom smiled and did an awkward wave “to the couch please”

“Dad i really dont wanna talk about this” wes said on the couch, touching knees with his father that was sitting right next to him. “No we have to- so be quiet and let me speak.” tom sent a look at wes making him grumble and hunch in his seat, but all ears. “Please dont watch porn, its terrible. Its addictive and its not how things work, trust me. When we made you it was pretty ugly in there-”

“DAD PLEASE” he groaned in his arms. “What! Im just letting you know! Im letting you know that when you- or you probably have but-” tom shrugged looking at him son. “Just make sure you use protection, uhm if you want me to buy you some i can- dont give me that look” “your literally talking to me about what goes around penises, what am i supposed to do, say i love you?” he groaned again. “Well its your fault! But anyway you need to make sure you get consent from her, make sure she- or HE is into it-” “oh my god” “what? I dont know your options?” “what are yours?” wes asked.

Tom smiled at his son, making wes’s mouth drop (i dont think its a secret that toms at least a LITTLE fruity) “anyways. Girls have three holes, ones for the pee and the others for the- pp. And the other one is for the other one. I dont think your ready for anal yet” tom gripped his sons knee. “Youve done-” “you ARENT ready for that talk” tom but him off. “But you need to make sure that the woman is lubricated enough because if she isnt it will be TOO tight and un-pleasurable for the both of you. If shes” he raised his fingers doing the quote on quote “loose, that means shes lubricated, dont listen to these assholes shaming girls for something they cannot control” he rolled his eyes, wes thinking about anything to drift off into space but very stuck. “Dont be nervous asking for help trying to find the hole, although it should be located right on top of her- ya know” tom too immature to say the word, something he cant say although he said only a few words ago. “But yes, make sure you wrap it! Im serious, i dont need more children” tom ordered. “Im the single child” “your also annoying” wes sarcastically smiled at his dad by his words. “Her clitoris is that- bean, yeah lets call it a bean” “you call a clitoris a bean?” “oh no, i give it a name more...boujee, but thats between me and your mom” “PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME THAT YOU AND MOM HAVE SEX” wes shouted while stuffing his head into a pillow. “What its normal! You were watching it!” wes grunted “my life is over” “oh it hasnt even began” “DAD” “im just sayin!-”

The boys heard the keys jiggle from the door before hearing a loud “hii!” “we are in the living room babe!” tom said, wes panicking more as he heard th door shut and lock before seeing his mom coming over. “What are you guys talking about?” tom looked at wes and wes silently pleaded for him not to say anything, but being the div he is “sex talk!” he threw his hands up. “Ohh! How fun, have you told him about the movements yet?” “PLEASE NO-”

[catgirlforkaeya]

hi its me again esjskskkw,, kaeya x reader where he teaches the reader how to ice skate?

ice skating

kaeya x gn!reader

fluff // modern au

warnings: not proofread + all lowercase + swearing

a/n: YES I LOVE THIS IDEA 🙏 i hope it’s good enough!! (also sorry if i got any of this wrong idfk how to skate im literally just reading wikihow </3 it’s also kinda rushed bc time got away from me 😭😭)

you had been wanting to go ice skating for a long time now— it seemed like such a fun activity!! there was one issue tho. you had no idea how to skate

eventually you brought the topic up to kaeya. you remembered he mentioned going skating once to you so maybe he could teach you

kaeya agreed to teach you without any hesitation— he was thrilled about it because ice skating was always a passion of his, one he never got to share with anyone else

—

the city was mostly dead. it was the middle of the night— for some reason kaeya had decided to drag you outside at o’dark hundred to teach you. you’d expected something in the morning, afternoon even! but noooo he just had to pick near midnight for this.

you really couldn’t be mad at him though. the look on his face as he grabbed your hand and led you to the rink was a look you’d never seen before. he looked so excited but also so… determined. his one exposed eye lit up like a little kid seeing their christmas presents.

he even bought everything for you earlier in the day— the right size of shoes, a puffy jacket to keep you warm, a new scarf, mittens, literally everything. he even went to the extent of getting the two of you matching scarfs and mittens.

kaeya was really really excited to teach you. he wasn’t even going to hide it at this point. ice staking was one of the things he was really passionate about. when you asked him his heart skipped a few beats. sharing this passion with anyone obviously made him happy, but you’re not anyone. you’re his partner, the person he wants to spend every day with. the person he wakes up next to everyday and falls asleep next to every night. the person who’s seen his darkest sides, all his battle scars.

that’s why he picked the time he did. the middle of the night seemed absurd but he had good reasons. he wanted the two of you to be alone, no one else around. it was prob illegal to be at the rink after dark but he didn’t give a shit. he wanted to spend time with you, just you. and that was exactly what he was gonna do.

—

“are you sure this is safe—“ you were clinging onto kaeya’s arm as he helped you get onto the ice. you felt as if you were to let go you’d fall and die (which you probably would).

“yes love,” kaeya rubbed your back gently, a small chuckle escaping him. “i’ve skated almost my whole life and i’m still in one piece!”

you didn’t say anything back, just let out a nervous laugh. you two eventually got far enough into the rink, the cold from the ice coming up onto your body.

“okay so,” kaeya loosened his grip on you. at first you grabbed his arm tighter, but eventually let go once you knew you could stand without falling on your ass.

“probably one of the best things to do first is practice falling,” you looked at kaeya like he was crazy. “it’s safe, trust me. if you feel like you’re about to fall, bend your knees and squat into a dip position.”

you watched closely as kaeya demonstrated. you didn’t want to try it just yet because you wanted him to be closer to you to help you up.

“next thing is fall sideways. lean forwards a little bit and place your hands on your lap. when you fall, roll over onto your hands and knees.”

“that seems pretty easy,” you shrugged as kaeya came back over to you.

“i thought that too. you wanna give it a go?” he placed a hand on your back and looked down at you. he felt warm next to you (which was unusual.) you gave him a small nod, looking forwards.

kaeya helped you get into the right position, he stood behind you and gave a small push. not too light but enough to give you momentum. when you felt like you were going to fall you did exactly what he had demonstrated. you weren’t exactly sure if you did it right— all you knew was the ice was fucking cold.

he came over to you not even a second after you fell and helped you up (he really had to pick you up because you kept falling).

“how’d i do?” you wrapped your arms around one of his again, resting your head on his shoulder for a moment.

“i’m not gonna lie, better than what i expected,” he flashed a smile at you, “it was a little messed up but it was your first time.”

it didn’t take you that long to get the hang of it. within a few tries you had gotten it down for the most part. every time you’d do it kaeya would be right beside you to pick you back up, giving small praises every time.

next he taught you how to glide. this part was honestly the most confusing to you. you’d keep fucking up and losing your balance, kaeya having to catch you most times to prevent you from face planting into the ice.

you honestly felt a little embarrassed fucking up so much in front of him, but he just kept encouraging you to keep trying. every time he would you’d feel all tingly inside. something about the way he said it made you just melt.

—

you two practiced skating for a couple hours. you obviously were nowhere near as good as kaeya was, but you knew the basics. it was actually a lot of fun— it was nice being able to spend time like this with kaeya. he had been fairly busy with work recently and you two didn’t have that much time to do anything.

near the end you two decided to skate together (most of it was kaeya guiding you as you held onto him). half the time you two were a giggling mess for absolutely no reason. your hips kept bumping into each other, some on purpose and others on accident.

you two also took lots of pictures and videos. a lot of the pictures turned out amazing, the way the lights reflected on the camera gave the perfect lighting. it probably looked like those cringey couples you see on pinterest all the time but it was completely worth it. (kaeya was excited to post them all to social media to brag to everyone about this night)

after making a few laps around the rink you two came to a stop in the middle. kaeya wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his forehead against yours. he gave you a small smile, your eyes meeting. snow began to fall around you as you placed a soft kiss to his lips, cupping his face in your hands.

this moment felt so clique, something you’d see in a hallmark romance movie. you felt like two high school kids who snuck out in the middle of night to see each other. you couldn’t care any less though. you wouldn’t trade any of this for the world. you were right where you wanted to be— in your lover’s arms.

“thank you for doing this,” you gave an airy laugh as you pulled away from the kiss. you saw kaeya’s cheeks turning a little pink, you couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or if he was actually blushing.

“anytime. thank you for asking me,” he brought a hand up to you, placing one of his hands on your cheek and rubbed small circles on it with his thumb. “it really meant a lot that you let me share this with you.”

“awh bub—“ you gave him a small pout after you heard the little bit of sadness in his voice on the last sentence. “you can share this stuff with me anytime, i enjoy stuff like this. you don’t have to hide all of your interests with me.”

your lips were connected again— kaeya initiating the kiss this time. this one was deeper than the first. you felt him smile into the kiss, his tongue lightly ghosting over your bottom lip.

there was a small trail of saliva when you two pulled away, causing both of you to laugh slightly. kaeya mouthed a small ‘i love you’ to you as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

you stood there for a few minutes, your head resting in the crook of his neck while he did the same. it felt peaceful. the whole city was quiet, almost like the night was reserved specifically for you two.

the snow was starting to come down harder, causing you to get a lot colder. kaeya noticed you start to shiver which told him it was time to call it quits for the night.

he turned to get a bit closer to your ear, his voice barely above a whisper. “i think we should go home. we can take a warm bath after to warm up—“

you lightly smacked his side at that last remark, both of you bursting out laughing.

“i’ll take that last part into consideration… but let’s go home.”

[shoezuki]

expand on literal angel of death au immediately or i will combust (please)

ANON IVE BEEN THINKING AND I DIDNT INTEND THIS TO BECOME AN ACTUAL AU BUT. HERE WE ARE HUH

anyways. ideas. i was actually like thinking of an indie game i wanted to replay called death and taxes. although im So Sure next to no one is gonlike. know that gamek jhslgh. but its Kinda still based round that.

so: philza is an angel of death. but the idea of death is nowhere near what youd think. no heaven or hell really. the closest thing to it is. an office building. 

Death aka. kristin is like the ceo and she can see infinitely into every mortal’s life and she’s eternally existing and has the ability to see into the future, the past, and any possible timelines the world will go down. and sometimes mortals need to die. 

its not malicious of her and its no ‘for the greater good’ type thing. its to keep. like. to keep things normal. whether its something extremely small like some dude hs to die or he’ll step on a plant that wouldve Maybe produced a lot of oxygen in the future, or a guy has to die otherwise he’ll take over entire countries and will lead to the world’s destruction. 

So death finds these cases, considers some cases where something could Result from some deaths, or maybe not. and these ‘angels’ choose which they believe is the most important or will have the most/least impact. cuz thats a LOT of shit for her to sift thru yknow n like so these angels can choose if that one guy chokes on his food, or if that Particular Tree goes up in flames. the nature division hates their jobs

but sometimes. people just Wont Die. 

it can take a few times like. a few papers written and reports filed. but in REALLY special cases. the ‘angels’ gotta get out there and Deal with it. 

most angels dont wanna do this because theyre all assholes and ‘too good’ for goin back to mortal planes n shit. but PHILZA. phil is ALWAYS the one kristin sends out. 

phil jus like. he likes that shit. not the Killing part always but whatever thats just a chore like. not bad not good its just. death. and sometimes on these Tasks he takes months or years or decades because it can be Delicate Work okay. and so what if he makes a house to himself and journey’s the world and makes friends and just Lives down there. he always kills em in the end

He gets tasked to go kill technoblade. he wasnt actually the first one given this job. but no one could do it. theyve been trying to kill him for Years practically since he was born. somehow someway he always just. steps out of the way. whether its skilled assassins who Conveniently mistake him for someone else or even a starved pack of wolves where they dont even naturally live. he just Wont Die. 

But Whatever phil goes out and this kids kinda funny. piglin dont usually make much of an impact especially in the overworld so thats notable. he doesnt know What exactly techno will do thats So Influencial he has to Die. they arent given that information. but it MUST be Something. at some point he wonders if kristin jus hates that hes avoided death so long but nahhhhh cmonnnnnn

but like. phil watches this kid a bit. maybe round when hes in his teens or something. and hes FUNNY and interesting and for once phil doesnt fuck off to build a house because hes bored. 

he watches techno fight tooth and nail in combat, taking anyone on, being awkward and uncomfortable without sword in his hands at any point in time. he sleeps with a knife in his hands and barely speaks a word to anyone and keeps more room for books in his traveling gear than food. Phil sees him free a remote village from their oppressive upper class one day and then the next day he follows cool animal tracks into the forest and gets so fucking lost and phil is like okay yea im keepin this one. 

phil Somehow Someway gets himself to meet techno organically. no words of who he is or What he is. sometimes people whisper of him as the ‘angel of death’ and rumours that he has lived for eons but no one knows how Literal it is. 

next thing they know they are forming a mock empire and fucking with entire countries by taking over entire continents and phil is having a blast. death is kinda like ‘yeah okay that is funny.’ and is all ok babe have fun :) as if they arent supposed to kill technoblade