#like obvs just for clickbait

[totallyaces]

just saw an insta post reporting on a dead boy detectives cast interview and it's sooo funny to me that they managed to frame it like George and Jayden are irl dating

[sweetfirebird]

The 'reviewers getting hits on youtube by critically reviewing very popular books they didn't like and thus promoting those books and ensuring those books stay popular and get sequels thus giving those reviewers even more content to get more hits' industrial complex.

[firefly--bright]

b99 angst hcs NOW ‼️‼️💥‼️💥 pls :>

(this isn’t to obligate or rush u in any way obv take ur time and write when u want to)

oh. it's on.

- jean is a workaholic. its a very well known fact - he cares alot about what he does and has questioned every decision and influenced his life because of it. sometimes he lets it take control of his head more than he'd like to admit, which means even when he's with you, hes at work. hell, he's even more at work when he's with you because he's just reminded why he's doing what he's doing, especially because he literally met you with you being a witness to a mild crime. which leads me to the scenario - even during dates, specially planned nights where you had cleared your schedule for him, even one word can set his mind off of possible solutions to an unsolved crime. imagine how jake hears one word and immediately connects the dots to something despite it having no context whatsoever to the conversation at hand. it is endearing most times, but sometimes you just want to wind down and have him not run off to the precinct while sharing a meal together, in the middle of the sentence just to solve something. and sometimes (most times) you don't even get to know his whereabouts until the next night. sometimes it makes you feel forgotten, like something jean only uses as a distraction and you know he doesnt mean to, obviously, but it hurts you especially if you're in the middle of telling him about something you're passionate about.

- and when you talk about this with him, tell him how it makes you feel, ofcourse he apologizes VERY sincerely. a few tears are shed but only a week later jean feels worse because you're telling him about your day excitedly over some Chinese takeout and he listens to you tell him about this funny inside joke/bit your coworkers had and it sends a pang through his chest because he can never give that to you. he can barely give you all the time you deserved to have no matter how much he wanted to and he loved you so much and it just reminded him about how, when you're talking about your own work shenanigans, jean can't help but think that he's not going to give you the easygoing life you would've wanted

- speaking of!!! ur also not ready for just how many injuries he gets while on the job. he's a little pissbaby about it and if it's an unserious injury like idk a bruise or smth, he'll be very pouty about it will clickbait you into giving him more affection. "wouldn't you give your brave, strong, city-saving boyfriend a kiss. on the lips. with tong-" ok jean. he doesn't need to ask

but that also means that he gets more serious injuries that he has had to learn to deal with. he gets shot in the shoulder during a crime bust and it hurts so much but he doesn't want to tell you because ofcourse you'd be worried and he just didn't want to be a burden to you - even if you'd argue otherwise. especially since you'd just gotten a promotion and were going through a transition phase with all the work that you had now, with all the decisions you had the power to make; it was taking a toll on you, and he didn't want to add to that. but ofc Sasha and Connie (and marco, because he knew jean wouldn't tell you) called you right after he got patched up and was recovering in the hospital and you ofcourse immediately dropped everything and rushed to him which jean was dreading and he was being kinda,,, snippy with you. like you were asking questions to the doc about how to aid with the recovery and jean hated how you were dragged into his mess now. this was on him - he was an experienced detective and yes, he should've known better and not gone after the crime ring by himself, and he was also a grown man who could (who should) take care of himself and now you're gonna be stuck having to be alert and overworked and he hated it. on the drive home - you knew better than to ask why or how he even got shot in the first place, he'd tell you later anyway - you asked him how he was feeling, if there was anything you could do for him, if he wanted something specific and special to eat for dinner, "I can make your mom's omelet recipie-" "don't you have work?" and that kind of. stung you because you thought he supported you and your progress @ work and now he was...mad about it? "i mean, I can take a small break." "but you just got the promotion." "and you just got shot." ... "i can take care of myself." he says. "i know that. but I want to take care of you." "you didn't sign up for this." "i know exactly what I signed up for." and you stop at the red light, "I'm just glad you're still...here and not bleeding out in some -" you inhale, your breath hitching, "dark alleyway." and jean felt so stupid because he was just thinking about you having to take care of him, but he didn't think about how scary the call must've been - to know that your significant other had a bullet pierce through them, not knowing their whereabouts until after everything was said and done, having the realisation that you couldnt do anything to help them. the more jean thought about it, sitting in the silence in the rest of the ride home, the worse he felt because if he had been in your position, he would be crying and furious and you were doing none of those things because you had to stay calm because you knew if you freaked out then he'd also freak out.

anyway, the two weeks he had to recover after that were hard to adjust to - he wasn't used to someone caring this deeply for him - and also because he had temporarily lost mobility in his left arm and also because he had seen you cry for the first time since you'd gotten together. after getting back home from the hospital, you set up his bed so he could be comfortable, putting a pillow under his shoulder as he sat against the bedrest. jean heard you down the hall, calling in to work telling them about a "family emergency" and then called his mother to ask her about her soup recipie, not elaborating on his injury (something he thanked you for later, he loved his mother but he wasn't in the mental space to deal with the questions for now) and got to work, coming back into the room to put a show on for jean so he could be distracted while you cooked. but before you could leave, he grabbed your wrist and looked at you for a good three seconds before you started crying. told him that you were sorry, this shouldn't be about you, but he shushed you and apologized to you, "I should be the one to say sorry." you sniffled, "you're the one thats hurt" and then he says your name so gently that it makes your heart squeeze in your chest, "you're also hurt. and I'm sorry I caused that." "shut up. i know you were probably doing what was right." ... "i do it for you. you remind me why I want to keep people safe. and I got reckless." ... "the doctor - he said that the bullet was only a little ways away fron your heart." he kisses your forehead. "i don't know what I'd do if I lost you." you confess, whispering into his right shoulder. he burries his nose in your hair, "you not going to lose me. I'll make sure of it. i promise."

- ANYWAY. you think that was bad? well I've got something worse :3

he breaks up w you. for an undercover mission, but you're not supposed to know that, obviously. after a minor crime circle bust with eren, the two of them find out that it's actually a part of a much bigger plan that they had. they were called into the captain's office after it, only to find miche there as well. they explain the plan to them - they'll infiltrate the circle from the inside after being fake-fired from the force, both seperate from each other and get into the ring from different sources (haven't thought about the exact details for it yet but soemthing adjacent to jake with that italian mafia ring undercover mission thingie). and jean was fucking estatic because this was something he had been working towards for essentially his whole career, right, and it could potentially be dangerous but if by the end of it, one of the major threats to the city would be eliminated. but then miche and the captain told them that they'd have to cut ties with everyone they know currently - even their parents and family - his mind immediately went to you. because how could he live without you? how could he even pretend to have to break your heart just to come back (if he even would). just the thought of it absolutely crushed him, but then he was presented with the choice of an out. that he could choose this case if he wanted to. granted, if he (and Yeager) were to step down, any other detectives assigned for this would have a higher probability of screwing up since they weren't the ones that had to solve the case from the beginning. they wouldn't know the inner workings like jean and eren did. eren was a 100% on board with it, ofc, because why wouldnt he be but jean hesitated a lot more. miche and the captain gave him the whole night to think about it before the plan would come to effect by the next night which meant than jean had to make up his mind quick because it was already sundown.

as he parked his bike near your apartment, he had made up his mind. ok for this I really need u to Imagine This, okay, because. cinematic effect.

as mentioned in a previous post, you try not to call him as much because you know that he probably won't pick up and you didn't want to disturb him if he was In The Zone, so you'd usually just send him a long voice note rather than just not talk to him. so you had sent him a voice note a couple hours before he left. and the message is playing in his head while he walks to your apartment, taking the stairs up to your door, and he knows that one of the things you loved most about him was his passion. his drive had reasoning and he stood behind what he thought was right, while also knowing that there were more complexities than just good or bad. and he knew that you'd also support him unconditionally, knowing what exactly he did what he did for, knowing that he didn't want to be a noble hero but because he wanted to let the kids on the streets be able to go home to their parents safely, that they knew that there were authorities out there that they could trust to help them. he knew that he did this for you - he wanted you to walk home at night, safe and sound.

"hey, love. I'm making some ramen right now, I wish I had some mushrooms. i saw this guy put, like, a whole ice cream in his soup. i dunno, it sounds like it'll be bad but...maybe the sweet and spicy will be good? I'm not gonna do that right now. that reminds me, I need more ice cream in my freezer. anyway, I hope you're doing okay. i hope you're being safe. no bullet wounds anywhere near you, please. don't want you to come back with one more hole in your body. uhm, yeah. I'm making extra for you. i love you." your voice note says, and jean runs a hand through his hair before knocking on your door despite having your keys.

you open the door, your unsure expression melting into a relieved one. "you're back," you say, opening the door wider for him to enter, noticing the expression on his face. he's looking anywhere but your eyes and you know something's wrong because his shoulders are stiff.

"everything okay? you look constipated." you ask, cracking a smile to relax him, only to cause him to hurt more.

"we need to talk." he says, and your entire face falls. after a couple beats of silence, you nod slowly, inviting him to sit on your small couch. he sits at the edge of it like he's afraid of getting too close to you. (maybe he is) and then he drops the bomb, "we need to break up."

"...what?" you ask. jean isn't looking at you, his eyes focused on his hands on his lap, but he doesn't miss how your voice wavers a little.

he sighs. "yeah."

"why? i mean, I'm sure if theres something bothering you, we can fix it." you say, shifting closer to him, the both of you having to pretend that your heart wasn't actually sawing itself in half right now, and you continue when jean doesn't say anything, "if it's about work, I mean, we can...I can make more time. we can both tr-"

"no. it's not something we can fix. i just..." he trails off, and commits the mistake of looking at your face because then he starts to panick about not being able to see you again, about the fact that your eyes are starting to tear up again, and we all know how jean gets when he panics. "i don't love you anymore." he says. you shift back as if he threw something at you which he might as well have.

uh haha. yeah. anyway. so that's that. and then he doesn't come back for like 4 more months and you distract urself by working to the bone. Connie and Sasha check up on you periodically and since neither of them know why jean broke up with you and how it coincidentally happened right before he also got fired (jean would argue that he quit, but he wasn't here to do so). anyway. despite the fact that the place has memories of you and jean, you still visit the precinct for Connie and sash, bring everyone (mostly sasha) some sweet treats on your way there.

it's one of the days you're spending your lunch there, that the captain comes out of his office and announces a squad meeting. you get ready to get out of there because ofcourse you're not supposed to hear this, but Levi stops you, saying that you can stay - that it's better that you stay. and then he breaks the news to everyone about how eren (Mikasa gasps at the news, btw, which is more emotion than you've seen her have after eren was "fired") and jean had never been fired or quit but were on an undercover mission, blah blah, and there's a "hes right behind me isn't he...." moment where jean and eren just. walk in. and ofcourse your eyes lock as Mikasa and Armin huddle close to eren, Connie, sasha and marco doing the same to jean and you just stand there because you don't know if he's moved on. even if he did break up with you because of a mission, there was a big possibility, to you, that he'd moved on after four months of not seeing you. and you walk to him, hesitating, after the three of them are done with their ambush, and he looks at you, waiting for you to run to him. but when u dont, he thinks about how the worst of his doubts may just be confirmed - that you moved on, found somebody new. (SLIGHTEST miscommunication. gets solved in like 3 seconds bare w me)

but you haven't. and he hasnt. and it's so obvious because you've still kept his sweater at your place, because he's had your picture In his wallet, hidden under some cards. but the two of you are oblivious to it, and you ask, "no extra holes, right?" referring to before, and he smiles softly, shrugging, "just the ones that I already had." to which you nod with a small smile of your own. you two just look at eachother for a moment (everyone's. looking at the two of u btw. waiting for u to kiss. esp Connie who's resisting the urge to chant "kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss") and you're just like WELL, TIME TO GO TO WORK LOL. and leave. and then he's just standing there, frozen, a hand on his heart as you make your way down trying not to SOB and everyone's just like. what the fuck r u doing GO AFTER THEM and he's like???? whats that gonna do they've probably moved on. and then sasha slaps him after which Connie shakes jeans shoulders, and everyone shouting at him, telling him he's stupid and he's just like "OK LET ME GO AFTER THEM THEN FUCKING CHRIST"

AND HE DOES and oooo it's raining and ok imagine the scene in idk which season but the time when captain Holt and Kevin had that whole confession in the rain thing but with you and jean. you don't have an umbrella and just step out into the rain because you just don't want to Be Here right now and you're starting to run, but then jean grabs your wrist and tells you to stop. he asks you if you've moved on and you say "ofcourse not are u stupid u just left me fucking hanging, out of nowhere, and I know you were doing it for a mission and I know we couldn't have prevented it but it hurt, jean and-" "I know I'm so sorry you're so beautiful I missed you so much" he shouts and as you're arguing talking with eachother, you're stepping closer and closer to him and he's stepping closer and closer to you and there's no distance between you and you're rambling now, telling him "do u realise how many texts I sent you do u know how much I love you. r u stupid you thought I would move o-" "I thought about you every night and I - you should ask Yeager - couldn't stop thinking about you every single moment of every single day and-" "you're so stupid, jean-" "i just love you so much being without you was HELL" and now your mouths are near eachother.

and then everyone is standing near the windows and trying to shout over the rain but the only voice that can reach the two of you is reiners who cups a hand over his mouth and says "KISS ALREADY"

and your arguing stops, glancing at him through the rain, and then looking back at eachother (what were you arguing about again?) and you laugh and then he laughs and holds your cheeks, not letting go as he kisses you.

uhm. yeah. haha. anyway this was more hurt/comfort than actual angst but anyway!!!

whoo thank you for the ask sorry for the long ass answer :33

[macabrecravings]

WTF⁉️‼️ HOW IS SERAPHINA CONNECTED TO HARRY POTTER FANFICTION‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️

The Seraphina x Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way Lore Explanation (NOT CLICKBAIT) (Finally Coming Clean...)

TLDR: purple, red, poorly written british people, awful self-indulgent fics, emo jokes/stereotypes, etc 🥳

Meet Seraphina Ver. 1! She was my first iteration of Seraphina. As you can tell, she used to be a purple girly :D

When I created Seraphina Ver. 2, she became the red girly we all know and love !!! (But we don't talk about ver 2... /j she experienced the horrors and straight up killed herself (deleted the game file from existence while I was sleeping)

This is all to build up to the fact that Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (from the smash hit Harry Potter fanfiction My Immortal) is ALSO a purple and red girly. If you search her name up, you can scroll through the fanart and definitely get a fuck ton of Seraphina-core vibes 😭 She wasn’t intentionally inspired but Sera can absolutely come off as an Ebony rip off xD (at least visually)

Early in her creation, my friend and I picked up on this color scheme and started joking that she was Ebony IRL 😜 !! LMFAOO We said that Whitney bullied her because he was a stupid prep!!! >:T U might think she’s a slut, but she’s totally not!! /ref

I was asked tonight, “Would she like my immortal.... .........Unironically.........” And honestly? I think she would </3 Ive mentioned before that Sera writes her own fan fictions & I can assure you that they’d be JUST LIKE THIS. No better quality than MI or the creepypastas she consumes 😭😭 She may be passionate about it, but lord…

Another similarity is that uhmmm obv MI takes place in the Harry Potter Universe and Seraphina is in DOL universe. both of which are set in the UK but written by authors who are. Not british. Sorry everyone 💔 Idk what i’m doing at all but at least I know that there are no hot topics there 💔😔😔

But yeah I’m sure there’s more connections but I’m literally blanking right now— All of this to say that Seraphina has some intense roots that tie her to this silly 2006 fanfic that I won’t get over </3 Guys it’s so iconic. it’s an internet masterpiece that i think about a normal amount. you have to believe me, I— *gunshots*

[bigmack2go]

(Ridiculous-)

-Things that i think the newsies would get cancelled for if it were modern era:

Crutchie

His name. He blew up in quarantine and only streamed gameplay and sat down. He only ever explained his name like,,, once or so and that was way back, the succes came slowly and so he never felt the need to explain it again. After a while some pointed out his name and i like,,, blew up! He was on the twitter trending page for a whole week! But he was only cancelled for a day or two(?) before he uploaded a video laughing tears. The mother fucker probably used it as clickbait on the preview banner pannel thingy (wtf are those called??) and in the title. I mena,,,, imagine!! “!SPEAKING UP about the recent ALLEGATIONS! (EMOTIONAL) (CW: CRYING)” and probably ant like “(real) (not fake!)(fuck clickbait)” or something. He would troll the shit out of social media for it

Ike

Probably like queerbaiting or some shit. Like he’ll go “holy shit, i’m so gay!” And people will go “I THOUGHT HE HAS A GF” and hotshot is just watching the whole thing, making fun of him for D A Y S while he’s cancled and she’s like “hOw dArE yOu bE bIsExUAl?!”

Hotshot

That exact thing i just said. Because she wasn’t including pan people, poly people and all the other sexuality’s when she was making that joke.

Race

Cheating. On Spot. (See also-> my spralbert fic) ofc he didn’t actually cheat but some people foubd and old clip of when he was still less known and didn’t know he would blow up like that and people pretend that poly people dont exist. He probably had a big thing and then he “cancelled them back” (his words not mine) or something like that.

Spot

For staying with Race even after he found out he “cheated”. People said he was only with Race for the money.

Albert

For being the person that Race “cheated” with

Jack

For saying “i wanna kiss you so bad right now” to a guy and apparently making fun of gay people with it. That shit was just like an hour or so tho at the highest.

Katherine

For her father lmao

York

Having a problematic mod. People say shit like he’s just ignoring that fact. But he legitimately just did not now. He wasn’t online for a solid two days and when he was it was to stream so he had to find out by chat, but he thought chat was joking and so one thing led to another and uh yeah. By the time hotshot called him asking why he was joking about that sort of stuff and he realised that it was true, the tag was already trending.

Romeo

Let’s be honest, the fucker prolly said something like “you’ find the right person eventually” or be like really penetrant like a Karen that refuses to acknowledge aro/ace people exist. But like for fun. Like,,, jokingly. This guy is literally aroace. It prolly went pretty much the same as for Crutchie.

Tommyboy

Cheating.(but like at a game) Come on lets be honest . This mf would have the whole dream sCaNdAl procedure and you know it. He acedentally cheated and then get death threats for it (which, just to be clear, even if dream had cheated is just— like,,, idek)

Myron

Tried to kill a pigeon once when he was like seven or something

Elmer

Being involved in a russian spying scandal or some shit. Dont even ask! The best prt is that this is the only one where the internet was being justified. Not only dod all the evidence ACTUALLY lead to him (and it wasn’t something little like cheating) butthe reason for that is that it was actually him. Now obv it wasn’t on purpose bla bla, someone put a wrong server adress or what-not idek but like,,,, it was fair for people to want to cancel him…

Buttons

Capitalism. He probably told someone they had to pay if they wanted him to make them a piece of cloth or whatever. (Obv this is exeragated. The internet is not actually that bad… mostly. And he probably did go about it a little worse and people probably didn’t actually cancel-cancel him as in like,, career threatening but yk. It was still a little ridiculous)

Davey

Defending church. He’s like “GUYS IM NOT EVEN A CHRISTIAN WTF!? Im just saying, let people believe what they wanna believe. unless that specific person uses their faith as an excuse to disrespect, discredit or discriminate you, they are not a bad person for their faith”

In case you’re wondering, this happened in the same context as-

-Jojo

Jojo told his coming-out-to-the-nuns story and how he wasn’t too scared (and some other stuff) and then people said that he was pretending the church never was problematic. (Ive never phrased a sentence to say less of what i meant than this one but im tired and i have the excuse that English isn’t my first language so gimme a break)

[melonteee]

Do you watch other one piece youtubers? Personally, you are my favourite by far, bc you are sooo good at analysing characters and at looking at things from a different angle than most of the fandom. Meanwhile most others are too obsessed with powerscaling and clickbaiting... Obv there are exceptions (tekking101's videos remind me of discussing the newest chapters with my friends back in school, so freaking chaotic) but most of one piece youtube is just people shouting at each other, i really feel like they care more about the destination than about the journey which is definitely not what the series is about

Oh thank you so much! I don’t tend to watch One Piece YouTubers, mainly because I’m only on YouTube for video essays of other topics outside of One Piece lol. But I do like Merphy Napier! She has a lot of good stuff!

[honeyedheartss]

the seattle pre show! I'm a lil late but here u go

- he went to pikes place and the space needle and saw a lady selling hot cider and thought it was whimsical

- he asked us if we liked living in Seattle and we were the only city who mainly said yes. the only other place who's said they like where they live was Wales.

- coffee or tea? he is a "coffee slut".

- if he left right then to get a tattoo he would have to be very drunk because he has commitment issues but he would wind up getting the original horny starbucks logo with the mermaid showing her tits and spreading fin

- someone asked "have you had dicks?" which he was offended by, and then read that it was a local burger joint. he was SO happy he could get a Bag of Dicks. he wound up talking about it for almost a minute and said he would go get a bag of dicks after the show.

- last anime he watched was my hero academia because he was catching up

- favorite anime of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist. he hasn't watched all if it just a few episodes and "there's a really cute scene of a dad and her daughter" [he said verbatim but he meant a daughter and her dad obvs]

- he was asked how he came up with the concept for the show and he said one morning he woke up and screamed bc the world was going to end and decided to make a show.

- his strangest phobia is a fear of man made objects underwater.

- someone told him to name 3 Hatsune Miku songs or they would leave and he DID!! and in record time too

- his clickbait title for the show would be "Potential Dan Ass Reveal?"

- he doesn't wear any layers under his jumpsuit (which the theatre all went "ew" to) and he ripped it because someone shouted "cunt" at him and he squatted too fast

- he is pro-soup!

- BUT he is VEHEMENTLY against people who think cereal is a soup

- someone brought their mom and he told her to close her ears and her eyes and he was sorry

- he was asked about his history with DDR and he said he actually played it as a kid and got good at it and now he's the person who's too good at it to be cool because you go to play with friends and then there is an annoying fuck doing jumps and combos and you don't enjoy it anymore and that's him

- very offended that someone asked him how to survive college

- "British people aren't real they were created by the American government so they could be the victims of history"

- he doesn't like boba :(

- "what is something that keeps you motivated to do youtube" nothing.

- "is dystopia daily for the bit bc all of it feels like it's for the bit but none of it does" he said they'd nailed the vibe of the show.

the guests are always confused and scared but Phil was the most weirded out. Dodie went with it and his gramma rolled with it and spit back sass really fast and he said he should replace Phil with his gramma.

- he filmed a dystopia daily with Louise but she was very scared and he's not sure how much of it is going to be approved to post even after editing

- he was asked how much money to eat a chip off the ground and he said he would probably pay us to eat floor chips. they spilled pickles in the bus and put the floor ones on the table when they were cleaning up and he snuck and ate them when no one was around

- called himself a "dirty pickle bitch"

- told someone to name their cat Susan 3

- in regards to his election day photo "democracy needs saving and I will post a nude for democracy"

- his toxic trait is that he's always right. if he doesn't know the answer to something he won't give an opinion and when he does and someone disagrees he waits for them to Google it with a smug look on his face

- he doesn't think he would have finished law school in an alternate universe, he would have been on OnlyFans

- his favorite Disney character is the Beast from Beauty and the Beast

- someone asked when he was going back to the spray tan and he got offended that they thought it was fake and said "no I just used to go on holiday with my family. and phil. and now I don't touch sunlight"

- his favorite song to play on piano is the final fantasy song he posted on his story a while ago or Chopin's Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor

- he just roasted the shit out of the 12 yo who sold him that axe

- he got Phil a pair of socks that had sasquatch being abducted by UFOs

- his favorite tree is a Maple tree and he thinks they're very dainty

- he's not an influencer he's an artist 🙄

- when he's at olive garden he let's them grate the cheese for an uncomfortably long time. he is a 'whore for parmesan'

- his starter for pokemon violet was the gay duck. obviously.

- someone blamed him for why they're gay and he said we're not allowed to bill him for our therapy

- his past self would be terrified, excited, and more than mildly concerned at his present state of being.

- we all need to love our younger selves because if he can love the version of himself that made Hello Internet then we can love the version of ourselves who wore cat whiskers because of him

- the tour is about celebrating that we are all still alive despite the cat whiskers and 2015 and healing our inner childs

- and then he bullied someone wearing a Llama hat.

- the end <3

[grucylover]

Let’s breakdown this possible clickbait spoiler video on YouTube. It has been supposedly leaked that some script info has been leaked that Gru & Lucy have 3 more children.

Obv the first new kid is Gru Jr and we will protect him at all costs.

Secondly, there’s a possibility Gru and Lucy could adopt Poppy. Poppy is a teenager that is a big fan of Gru and wants to be a supervillain like he once was. She adopts the same things as Gru (I.e her initial on her items). They meet Poppy when they move to the safe house in Mayflower and she is their neighbour. Most likely without her parents as what parents would let there kid dance in the kitchen???. Either poppys parents are missing or she’s an orphan like the girls so they could feel sorry for her and adopt her.

Personally. I don’t want them to adopt her but it bothers me slightly that she has blue eyes and the same nose as Gru so has Gru had a fling in his past? Unlikely but funny af. We want the girls to be the centre of attention like they didn’t get in DM3 and that’s that. More of the girlies please.

Personally aswell I think poppy and I can’t think of the word rn but tho she is Grus fan I don’t think she’s is on his side, really???? She could be an insider trying to get the goss sort of thing but is really working for Maxime Le Mal??? That’s my theory personally.

2. According to a site that could be bullshit but leaked information, Gru Jr could already become an older brother but it might not be Grus. A theory or spoiler has suggested that Dru returns to Gru with a baby (Dru Jr obv) he asks Gru to raise the child because of his life as a super villian. Maybe Lucy is pregnant by the end of it again that I long for?🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ the wishful thinking is real.

I personally find this is highly unlikely as Illumination would almost be promoting having kids, here, there and everywhere but it’s entertaining to think I guess.

If a script has been leaked and there is another 2 kids joining the family (ex Gru Jr). It’s highly likely they adopt poppy and they have another one.

By the way these are the words of the video and not me unless I have stated personally otherwise. I have not come across a script leak.

Personally, Im hoping for a daughter from Gru and Lucy one day (one more kid because Grus sperm count is high 🙃😒) because she will look like Gru with dark hair and green eyes and I think this will complete the franchise tho I don’t want it to end.

Just who knows what is going to happen in this movie but it’s exciting to think of all these theories and a bit of clickbait now and again can be exciting, especially when they mention a script leak I a sucker for it. Ngl!! So here we are.

Post your theories!!!!

[yonpote]

saw someone say that dan should have done this video with someone else?

i really dont think he could have. like even putting aside the established friendship he has with louise and the whole "dont have any friends" thing, think about like other contacts that he would have that are mothers and also creators. i think he was telling the truth in that he doesnt have a lot of friends with kids lol and that could just be the whole younger gens not wanting kids thing tbf.

the only person i can think of is cornelia? but a) not to be a complete cynic but for clickbait i dont think she would work, b) shes quite a new mother at least relative to someone like louise, and c) i dont personally know if corn has that sort of witty humor to combat dan's bs that louise clearly does (obv no offense but like corn never made herself to be a comedian after all and i am thinking in the most like cynical asshat numbers bullshit way possible)

thats just my onion thoooooo

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

so i've started working out with 2kg dumbbells (and sometimes my kettlebell) every night before bed to stretch my back out for a more comfortable sleep, and also to see if it'll lessen the size and eventually get rid of a lipoma lump that i've developed in my upper back (without pesky day surgery obvs).

but what i've noticed is that nearly EVERY women's dumbbell workout video (also a lot of kettlebell workouts) focuses on are SEXY, TONED muscles. or they're also always about "fat burning and booty busting" for lower body and core workouts.... not much about getting stronger or having better posture, or simply being healthier. i am NOT here to make myself look sexy. I'm NOT here to fat burn (mostly bc i don't have much fat to burn- since i'm already thin and weigh 48kg/105 lbs/7 and a half stone). i am NOT here to "booty bust" or whatever the fuck, or at least not quite yet.... since i don't have great core strength and good upper leg strength. plus I'm never going to have a full voluptuous toned and sexy natural bbl looking ass anyway, bc of my body type. unless i waste money on a BBL surgery or idek take some considerably heavy supplements or whatever to make me put on weight.

anyway. what i'm there for is to build a stronger back. again, to get better sleep. to improve my posture and also sure, up my arm strength a bit as well. I'm just sick and tired of anything to do with women's fitness having to do with being "SEXY AND TONED" and "BOOTY BUSTING AND FAT BURNING". I get that they're probs keywords that get the videos into searches and to be clickbait, thus allowing the fitness instructor to get views etc. but men's workout videos are all about getting stronger- and so are workout articles/columns to do with dumbbell/kettlebell workouts for men.

like ok. i guess part of me doing it is to look a bit toned on my arms. but again, i reiterate: i am doing weight training mostly to improve back strength and to reduce back stiffness when i sleep (and also sit around all day), for when i don't do much exercise at home. bc it opens my back out, in a sense, to be stretched and worked.

i'm just sick of everything being reduced to "sexy" and "toned" and "ooooh burn that fat, bitch" and "hella booty workout slaaaaaay" even in sport.... when (A.) i'm NEW to this health and workout stuff. i just want a no bullshit beginners/idiot's guide to dumbbell workouts, and (B.) i'm here for PRACTICAL and FUNCTIONAL reasons (better health, reducing a health concern, better posture/back and sleep) and NOT AESTHETIC reasons (looking sexy/toned etc). it's just. fucking frustrating. and i also found the same thing after hospital in 2021... even though yes, i did have practical workouts from the exercise physio i was seeing at the time. but i've obvs modified those exercises since then.

just whenever there's anything to do with women's fitness and health, it's automatically like demoted to "sexy"/"toned" and everything else. i obvs do acknowledge that some, if not most, women are going for toned muscles and to look or feel "sexier" or w/e. i'm not shaming them. i'm just here to say im pissed that women dont seem to get practical descriptive video titles like "follow this dumbbell workout video to get better posture and better general health" instead it's the "ultimate guide for women to losing cellulite fat on thighs and getting a juicy booty IN JUST 30 DAYS!!! start this intense kettebell workout today!!!" and also "hella sexy back workout to get the TONED shoulders and biceps of your dreams- GET RID OF THOSE STUBBORN CHICKEN ARMS TODAY WITH THESE 5 INTERMEDIATE DUMBBELL MOVES. TO. KILL. THAT. FAT!!!!"

[carpedzem]

I hope jms reason for unfollowing Dream is just a joke (like idk maybe he was getting Puffy'ed and getting dnf fanfics on his for you page LMAO) and something to do with just needing clickbait cuz he always seemed to me he does value his friendship with George even if he seems mocking of his fanbase to us because um if he's in any way mean or cruel about Dream um that's Georges boy -kenjo

maybe if jm read some dnf threadfics he would get it and stop that weird gogybaiting

idk what their deal is tbh and i dont care im not clicking that vid, someone will probably report from the front anyway and if not then i really dont care that much. i low key wish it to be an clickbait so all the bros from the comment section can cry about it, including that one sappynappy, obv stan turned anti, you forgot to delete your dnf compilations honey

[bunnywand]

finished part 2 now, so here’s some thoughts i had abt the ending of the game!! obvs spoilers for everything from when you get to see abby’s pov of her confronting ellie in the theatre, onwards (also this post ended up suuuper long) 😳

i was kind of disappointed that the gameplay section after the cutscene was that sorta, ~you gotta sneak round and take ellie by surprise~ type gameplay 😔 i wasn’t a big fan of it in the ellie vs david part of part 1, and i didn’t like it much here either, mainly bcos i’m not v good at it so i kept dying, which kinda like, disrupts the flow of the story 🙁 it does explain why the layout of the theatre was like that tho, w/ lots of cover, which is s/t i’d wondered abt a couple of time when playing as ellie in there 😅

i was right abt lev being there the whole time, which obvs you didn’t get to see from ellie’s perspective of the cutscene, and also right that it’s him who stops abby killing ellie 😎

side note: i thought i’d seen a picture of jesse w/ a big scar on his face, roughly where abby shoots him, so i was expecting him to survive, but he didn’t?? i only saw the pic v briefly tho, cos i clicked away cos i thought it was a spoiler, so i must have been mistaken abt it being jesse 😅

the time skip to ellie and dina at the farm w/ dina’s baby: rly fucking annoyingly, when i was looking up the end of part 1 to rewatch before i started playing part 2, one of the video recommendations was some fucking youtuber, w/ a video titled like “REACTING TO PART 2 ENDING, NOT CLICKBAIT?! 😱” with their stupid beardy face pogging next to a screenshot of ellie holding the baby.. 😑 so i knew all along ellie and dina were gonna survive the theatre, which was p irritating 🙁 but luckily that didn’t turn out to be The End of the game 😕

i was slightly confused at first by it tho like, this is sweet.. but does the game rly just end happily like this after all that, w/ no resolution?? 😵‍💫 but then ellie has her panic attack, and then tommy shows up (which was a surprise cos i thought abby had killed him!!) and gives her the intel on abby so i was like ooo okay this isn’t the end

ellie leaving dina and the baby to still hunt down abby is where i kinda stopped sympathising w/ ellie tho like.. abby could have killed you TWICE but she let you live, just leave her be and have your happy ending, there’s been enough killing already.. 😔 like i understand why she couldn’t let it go obvs, but i grew to rly like abby while playing as her and i didn’t wanna have to murder her as ellie 😭

so i assumed ellie leaving dina and going after abby was gonna be a cliffhanger, and that was the last i’d see of ellie.. but that didn’t end up being the case!!

so then cut to abby and lev in santa barbara.. i love them both a lot, and it was V satisfying seeing abby manage to get in touch w/ the fireflies i was like omg they’re gonna make it.. 🥹 (side note: there’s a bit w/ ellie at the farm where she calls the baby a “goober” and then here, abby calls lev the same thing and i was just like !!! the Parallels between these girls, they are The Same, why can’t they see that!!!! 😭)

but obvs, b4 getting in touch w/ the fireflies, i’d seen the rattler graffiti and read the note warning abt them, so i was expecting s/t to happen, and yup, it did 😬 and i wondered if That was gonna be the end of the game like, cliffhangers for both of them??

but then no, you take over as ellie, now in santa barbara!! 😳 don’t take this as me like, wishing the game was over sooner tho, i think it’s just cos i’d looked up the chapters earlier to see how long the game was, so when i saw “the farm” and “santa barbara” i’d assumed they were gonna be like, the endings for ellie and abby, but i was wrong 😅

so when ellie gets captured by those rattlers my first thought was like omg, are her and abby gonna end up imprisoned together and maybe bond over trying to escape?? 🤯 but then ellie breaks free and gets the info where abby is off one of them, so i was like hm okay..

and my next thought was, maybe ellie like, breaks into the rattler camp still intending to kill abby, but then finds abby like, being friends w/ and helping the other prisoners, and sees how good she is?? and so can’t bring herself to kill her?? 🤔

but unfortunately not, abby’s being crucified.. 🙁

so my thought here was like holy shit.... part 1 ended w/ joel killing abby’s dad in cold blood.. is part 2 gonna end w/ ellie saving abby, despite having every reason to kill her?? the Parallels 🥹

but no, she frees her, and then challenges her to a fight to the death, even threatening to kill (the also crucifed and still unconcious) lev if she doesn’t.. 🙁

i did not enjoy this part, partly bcos i still didn’t rly have the hang of the melee dodge timing, but mostly bcos i did Not Want To Kill Abby 😞 like pls don’t make me kill her, that’s not how i want to end this.... 😖

but then!!!! just as she’s about to finally kill her, for the first time in the whole game, instead of seeing a flash of joel’s bloody face as he lay bleeding on the floor, ellie sees him peacefully playing guitar on his porch, and stops.. “when you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light” 🥹

like a Perfect parallel to how after abby made peace w/ her dad’s death, i think due to her conversations w/ lev and yara abt their beliefs, her trauma dreams abt finding his body turned to just finding him in the room, alive and smiling 🤧 a rly fitting end to the message i think the game was going for 😭

so abby and ellie both live, Thank FUCK 😭 ellie makes it back to the farm, where dina’s left.. but you get that rly sweet flashback of the conversation ellie and joel had the night before he died, where they start to make peace 🥹 unfortunate he died so soon after, but at least they got to have that conversation.. 😅

so yeah.. fuck me, wow 😳 i Loved that game, it was Brutal throughout and took a while, but wow 😳 so.. i wonder what’s next, if anything?? 😧 abby and lev were off to find the fireflies, i assume dina moved back to jackson after ellie left her, and that ellie will head back there too?? altho i can’t imagine what dina and tommy will think of her if she does come back.. 😔 but then again, there were 7 years between parts 1 and 2, so any sequel is probs a While off anyway, if there ever is one 😅

and.. that’s all the thoughts i can think of abt the story for now!! obvs got new game+ to do, but idk when i’ll start that, i might need a lil time to let my first playthrough sink in first?? so i’ll probs make another post abt what i need to do in new game+ nearer to starting it!! cool!! 🥰

[satorisoup]

SATORISOUP ABOUT ME!

hello there good fellows *smirks*

you can call me lene or just my username. im a girl and 17 years old (boooo). i go through a haikyuu phase after every breakup so… here we are.

#interests : haikyuu. gojo (moans) even though i don’t write about jjk. reading (yes i count fanfics on my phone as reading). writing (obv). makeup. skincare.

#fun facts : i have 4 cats (yes you heard that right, FOUR.) i plan on going to trade school to become an obstetric ultrasound tech. i have a tmnt collection of merch and everything under the sun (my hyper fixation since the ripe age of 6 years old LMFAOOO).

#favorite things : flowers. tetsuro, bokuto and keiji (my husbands real not clickbait). autumn. snow. rainy days. cold weather. christmas. cozy sweaters. sushi & barbecue ribs.

don’t be afraid to interact with me i promise im not intimidating!!

if you’d like to be an anon just send an ask <3 thirsts are always accepted feed my brain plz *drools*

[sxnsitivities004-archived]

you can still label characters as f/os even if you aren’t dating in your irl mems! f/o is a selfshipping term :D

ohh okay tysm nonnie !! i know it's mostly used that way but i don't know much abt self shipping so. i wasn't quite sure what to do <//3

[caroloftheshells]

somehow hadn’t gotten around to watching adam neely’s video on the schenker journal tire fire yet but i must give props for signal boosting that whole debacle to jazztube and, i guess, boosting the non-music-theorist visibility of that past year’s smt plenary talks, which unilaterally fucked

[wellfine]

A little AU that wouldn’t leave my brain

Follow-up tweets from Twitter:

NOT CLICKBAIT! These two dads HATE each other but their daughters are besties at pre-school 👋😔 They absolutely get into pissing contests over milestones, the latest/best baby gear, Whose Kid Is Cutest, etc. But they also actually help each other out a lot where they struggle.

Sanji is really good at the technical aspects, like schedules, appointments, NUTRITION (obv), education, etc. But he panics a lot with social/emotional aspects, which Zoro just rolls with. Also he has a lot of "x is for boys y is for girls-" that Zoro beats out of him w/ a broom