#like saras bro you got it keep up the good work also call me about that scene because what the fuck-

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

just finished watching monkey man and gotta say casteism definitely got the better of me

[rushipedia]

PLSSSS Kaeya x Gn reader who is younger and smaller than him and the reader lovessss head pats. The reader usually don't talk much but when it comes to Kaeya they are totally opposite of it. The reader is very inpatient with most people and gets angry easily but when they get a head pat from kaeya their mood changes.And they will never get angry or mad at him.

Ignore if you feel don't like writing this

: (( it's ok.

A Not-So-Peaceful Lunch Break

A/N: AS YOU WISH, ANON!! This is a very cute and oddly specific ask. I can relate with only being myself around a couple of people, so i think this ask is very good!!! ty for this! and sorry...kaeya is definitely the type of guy that orders for you....

edit: bro im watching act 3 of the new event and i keep getting distracted albedo is so attractive. also i think i projected a little bit onto y/n in this fic i am very sorry

Gender-neutral reader, ofc! REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Word Count: 792

Pairing: Kaeya x GN!Reader

Flavor: Fluff, slice of life

Warnings: Deadly fluff, Kaeya looking at you with a heart so full of love it could explode at any moment

"Y/N!" Jean called after you as you walked through the hall of the Knights of Fevonious, carrying a stack of papers. She smiled brightly at you and took the stack of papers you were holding from your hands.

"Please, let me take this." She said. It surprised you, to say the least.

"Kaeya is currently out surveying the town's shops if you'd like to join him." She looked, knowingly down at you. She knew about your relationship and didn't mind pairing you two together often as long as it didn't disturb your work. You glanced up at her with a slightly annoyed look- she'd interrupted your workflow- but nodded your head quickly. You'd been filing papers all day, so you hadn't had a chance to see him.

"You can continue your current task when you return," She said as you walked away. You waved energetically but didn't say a word as you left.

"Y/N!" Kaeya called as you passed by the Good Hunter. You'd almost missed him in your search for him. Your mind was clouded by the slightly angering thought that you'd be working a lot slower once you got back and it would take longer to finish your tasks. He noticed.

You didn't often have to convey your feelings to him through words, he could read between the lines well enough.

"Jean interrupt you again?" He asked, raising his hand up to pat you on your head. You nodded. "She means, well, you know."

"I know," You mumbled, leaning into his hand as he continued to pet you.

"I was about to get some lunch, want to join me, darling?" He asked, motioning towards the tables at the good hunter. You nodded. His hand stayed on your head until you started moving towards the counter.

"What do you want to eat?" He asked, crossing his arms and leaning his head on top of yours while you both looked at the menu.

"Barbatos Ratatouille," You hummed, "I really need a pick-me-up."

"As you wish, darling." He hummed against your hair, before taking out his pouch of mora. "Hey, Sara, add a Barbatos Ratatouille onto my order."

He slides her some mora before the two of you walk over to the tables.

"I can order for myself," You huff. It's kind of annoying when he does that, but it's less interaction for you, so you can't really be mad.

"I know, darling." He hums.

"How many of the shops have your surveyed?" You ask, changing the subject.

"All except for Flora's store. Grand Master Jean also gave me the daunting task of finding out the identity of that wandering merchant." He said, pulling a paper out of his bag. "The locals say his name is Liben. It's an odd one if you ask me."

He laughs to himself as Sara brings your food to your table.

"Thank you, Sara." He says giving her a smile. She glances at you, and you nod hastily in agreement.

"Eat up," He hums.

"Is it that guy that wears the sunglasses?" You ask between bites of your food.

"I believe so,"

"Ah, one time he traded me some silly-looking gems for carrots, so it doesn't seem like a scam at the very least." You said. "I'll show you them later."

"I'd love to see them. I'm sure they're as beautiful as you are." He said, resting his chin in his hand and staring at you lovingly. You didn't even have time to get embarrassed someone jostled your chair, causing you to spill some of your food onto your clothing.

You sat there shocked for a moment before looking down at the assailant of your mellow afternoon. It was Bennett.

"Are you okay?" Kaeya asks, standing to help Bennett up. He then moved to stand behind your chair.

"Yep!" Bennett says, recovering quickly. He nervously rubs the back of his neck and looks down at you. "Gee, I didn't mean to do that, I'm really sorry."

You glared at him for a moment, before casting your glance away. You were quite annoyed, but it was an accident, so it wasn't anyone's fault.

"It's my bad luck acting up again, I'll buy you new clothes!" He says, pressing his hands together and bowing his head.

"It's okay, Bennett." You said, giving him a smile. "The day was getting pretty boring anyway."

He looked so relieved that you weren't mad at him.

"Do you want to eat with us?" You asked him, looking up to Kaeya to see if he was okay with it too. He simply nodded, patting your head again.

"Really?" He said, his eyes lighting up. "Of course!"

You and Kaeya got back to talking as Bennett went to order. Lunch was very lively that day.

rushipedia ☆ 2021

[acollectionofficsandshit]

a follow from the queen? i am honored 🥺 i’m in the same side blog/main blog situation so no worries! not sure if i can replicate my 1am big brain antics but let’s keep the ✨f1 walk of shame✨ going

mick like mentioned by someone goes all out. breakfast, drive home, want him to wash your clothes? he’ll do it. apologizes profusely for having to walk his dog like??? sir???

valtteri is so awkward it’s painful one could only hope for a walk of shame before he’s awake

kimi the iceman is probably like ’this was nice’ after he’s fucked you five ways into next thursday and is no doubt asleep long into the day after so you’re on your own getting back home

esteban is so sweet and a little shy and probably kisses you goodbye when you leave as if you’re a couple already and he’s just seeing you off to work so you leave all 😳

george i feel is harder to pinpoint but there’s definitely tea instead of coffee because that dude is posh AND british. gets you a cab and is probably a little cocky because he got a (hopefully) good fuck, saw you off shirtless and is in an overall good mood the morning after. merc george will especially be a cocky asshole but still nice somehow? like he’s Trying to be cool and it’s so obvious

carlos doesn’t even offer you to stay the night. gives you a bro pat on the back as if saying ’good job’ lmao

fernando is someone you might think is a bit of an ass but turns out being a whole cutie offering to sleep on the couch in his own house and you’re just ???? sir it’s fine i can just leave and he’s like in the middle of the night?! no way. you stay here i’ll drive you home in the morning

don’t know much about gio but nice enough? idk might prioritize washing his hair the morning after so you’re like ’i’ll just see myself out lol’. confused when you’ve left after he’s done

yuki doesn’t even make it to the next morning, passed out like a light like less than a minute after cumming so you just get dressed and leave him to sleep (gets clowned for this by pierre because this kid is dumb enough to tell his teammate)

checo is probably pretty nice but doesn’t know how to act really so he just makes it weirder than it had to be but he calls a cab for you! so that’s something i guess??

lance could either be his very sweet self and asks if you want to shower before you leave or half kicks you out so he doesn’t have to deal with morning after etiquette. gives you a hoodie to leave in if you do end up staying the night but doesn’t go out of his way to make things nice like bitch this isn’t a hotel you can help yourself to breakfast if you want but like i said could very well be a sweetheart and attempt scrambled eggs or something before you leave

i think that’s the entire grid?? wow 😮‍💨

Yessssss rounding out the grid!! Of course, as exactly as I'd expected, these are all just as on point as the previous set (which you can find here if you're interested!) and more than a few of these 110% fit the way I feel about some drivers to the letter lmaooooo 💀 I couldn't have said it better myself!

Mick's is dead on, like it'd the exact vibe of how I'm writing him in the one shot I'm working on (he's a touch dominant because no matter what way I look at it I can't imagine him being anything other than kind and patience and gentle but get him in the right place, right time and you have yourself an unparalleled experience waiting for you ✋😩)

Also yes, Carlos in my head is encaptured perfectly by the singular sentence you allocated him 💀as you should, honestly the handful of words speaks volumes lmaooo.

And I have a really specific slightly off topic theory about Lance but like hear me out... Sara did the hard work, she taught him, but between how much he clearly worships her, how sweet and genuine their relationship seems, and his golden retriever boy energy...you cannot convince me that he doesn't give great fucking head... what he lacks in technique, he more than makes up for in dedication and the drive to make his woman happyyyy

✨F1 Walk of Shame Game✨

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #411

“everybody’s got loaded stories, and i know for a fact everybody sees a bullseye on my back”

Have you ever been to jail? No. Opinion on snow? I absolutely love it! Not big on the slush it leaves behind, though. It gets ugly. What are you best at drawing? Meerkats. Are you scared of going over bridges? Nah. If you had endless energy and stamina, how would you spend your days? Plenty of exercise, lots of exploration with my camera, doing chores much more regularly... stuff like that. What mental or physical space do you go when you want to recharge or relax? I go to my room and watch YouTube. Did you have/use a comfort object as a child (do you continue to have one)? I actually don't remember. Now as an adult, if I go somewhere, my purse is actually like my comfort item in that I like to sit and sort of hug it to feel more secure. When was the last time you said something you regret? What did you say? I'm unsure. What do you tend to get carried away with? New hobbies/interests. It will be like all I care about for a long while, ha ha. Do you believe we have souls; do you believe in a life after death? Yes to both. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes, and it's the absolute worst. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? We had those Flintstones ones for a while, but for most of my childhood, we had gummy vitamins. Have you ever gone to court? Well, yes, but not for like your ordinary court hearing. While hospitalized on one occasion, a lawyer visited to speak to the patients informing us that we could argue against our discharge dates if we believed we were going to be committed for too long, which I thought I was, so I signed up to bring my case in front of a judge. So yeah, I've been to court, but not for ordinary reasons. Are you friends with your neighbors? "Friends," no. The people to our left like just moved out, and I don't even know if we've ever been outside at the same time as the family on our right. Favorite color? I like baby pink. How long has it been since you’ve seen The Lion King? I saw the CGI remake when it came out, if that counts? I don't know about the original. When did you last hold hands with someone? Sometime when I was at my sister's house, my niece grabbed my hand to drag me somewhere, ha ha. Have you ever had a crush on your sibling's friend? No. Have you ever gone to a beach? Multiple times. How good is your eyesight? It is very, VERY bad. I need new glasses severely. What’s the best wedding you’ve been to? My former dance teacher's. Have you ever had a negative encounter with the police? What happened? No. What’s your favourite thing to cook/bake? Do you eat it often? I don't do either. How do you flush the toilet in public? I generally use my elbow. I don't like standing on one leg, so I don't really use my foot like I'd prefer. Favorite horror movie? Silent Hill is dearest to me overall just because of what it is, but as a horror film, I think the original Blair Witch Project is best. Do you have your wisdom teeth? X-rays have only ever shown two are present, but I have enough space for those. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on their appearance. The snake I have currently is named Venus because her coloration is similar to the planet. Do you like peanuts? Only when covered in chocolate. Where do you typically shop for bras and underwear? Do you tend to keep it simple, or have a variety of different items? Have you ever gotten a professional bra fitting? I don't get new undergarments (or clothes in general) frequently, but historically, my bras are bought online and underwear just from Wal-Mart. I don't really get the second question? I mean I don't have a style when it comes to those types of clothes, if that's what you mean. I've never had an actual bra-fitting, but I absolutely need to but keep putting it off. It seems like NO bra fits me properly all-around, and it's ridiculously annoying. What (if any) types of xrays/scans/other diagnostic tests have you had done? Was anything found? Idk man, a lot. I've had xrays on my wrist (found a fracture), teeth, legs... maybe more? I've also had an ultrasound on my liver for reasons I don't recall. I either had an MRI or CT scan (I can't remember which) when I got a concussion, and uhhhh... I can't think of anything else. Were you breast or bottle fed as a child? If you plan to have children, which do you think you’ll choose? Do you think one is really better than the other? I was nursed, and if I hypothetically had children, I'd definitely try to do the same. It was so incredible to me that I've never forgotten this: when I was at the hospital while my sister had her first baby, there was a chart on the wall of how many more nutrients were in breast milk versus formula milk, and the list was GARGANTUAN. Like, unbelievable. Now, do I think it's BETTER? That's a complicated question for which, in short, my answer is no. More nutritious, well, given what I just said, obviously. But breastfeeding just doesn't work for all mothers for a plethora of reasons, like the time demand, they can be self-conscious, it's painful... and all those things are okay. A mother should do what works best for her. Neither one is "wrong" or makes someone less of a mother because they feed their child less traditionally. Do you find that you have become more selective in terms of friendships as you’ve gotten older? Did the friendships you thought would last over time end up that way? Absolutely. There are just some kinds of people I absolutely do not tolerate anymore. And no, not most. We just drifted apart with time, or given most of my closest friendships are/were online, they just fell off the face of the earth. What are you doing right now? This and re-watching John Wolfe play Bloodborne. Bloodborne is such a comfort series to me... somehow, ha ha. Yet another game I've never played but desperately want to. Where are you? In my bedroom, as always. When you get yelled at, do you yell back or let it go? Depending on who it is, I might yell back, but most likely cry, ha ha. I hate being yelled at, like a lot. Is the person you last texted single? That would be my mom, so yeah. I've hoped she'd find a partner forever... She, probably more than anyone I know, deserves love from the *right* guy. I worry a lot how lonely she may become whenever I move out. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not at all. Are you friends with any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriends? Girt and Sara, yes. Are you lonely? Be honest. Very. What has made you happy today? It's too early for this. What has made you sad today? Nothing, really. Last thing eaten? I had leftover pancakes from yesterday. Are you wearing anything that’s not yours? No. Do you like to wear makeup? I mean it makes me feel prettier, sure, but the actual time investment doesn't feel worth it for me personally. Especially when you're not even that good with applying it. Have you ever attempted to write a story or novel? Many times when I was younger. Would you rather have perfect hair or perfect skin? Perfect skin. I hate my skin, it has so many blemishes. What’s your middle name? Marie. How big is your bed? Queen. Do you drink? Only a bit for special occasions, really. I'll have a daiquiri on your average day every once and a blue moon. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life? That's an understatement. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Pasta. I hate coleslaw. Do you find smoking unattractive? Yes. Where’s the last place you went besides your house? The TMS office. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yes. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. Do you like your cell phone? No, but it gets the job done. I just wish I had a phone with a good camera. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That's the dream, but I acknowledge and accept it just might not work out like that. Do you usually answer your texts? Almost always. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yes. Who has seen you cry the most? My mom, for sure. Have you ever just laid down outside and stared at the stars? Yeah, Jason and I did that one night on the trampoline. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house? In the past, yes. Think to the last person you kissed; have you ever kissed them on the ground? No. Do you have a condom in your room? No, got no use for one. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? Yes. What brand is your digital camera? Canon. Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? No; I really don't get the point. When was the last time you went tanning? Ew, never. I find NO appeal in just lying in the boiling sun. Do you like the smell of fresh cut grass? No, I hate it. Do you get embarrassed easily? Like you would not fucking believe. It's one of the things I hate most about myself, because I'm embarrassed about everything I like and what makes me me. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party? No. Do you always wear your seatbelt? Absolutely. You couldn't pay me not to. Do you sing in the shower? No. Have you ever been called a slut/whore/something along those lines? Only playfully among friends. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly/didn't even know? Yes. Have you ever fallen in love with a really good friend of yours? Yes. Do you own a blacklight? No. Do you like fruit better than vegetables? Definitely. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Of my current friends, only Girt has. If you’re straight, have you ever thought about kissing the same sex? If you’re gay, have you ever thought about kissing the opposite sex? I'm bisexual, soooo. What does your laugh sound like? Do you have a loud laugh or a quiet laugh? Bro my laugh is so fucking loud and obnoxious. Is there a reality TV show you would consider taking part in? No.

[g-r-a-g]

On Tentative Mother 3 Naming

Note: this was originally written some years back, then pulled for Unspecified Reasons.1

First and foremost, you should probably read Tomato's official MOTHER 3 translation notes, because he is a consummate professional. This also, unfortunately, means that he is often too busy being professional to do write-ups on personal side projects, especially ones that are finished. I myself would love to see notes covering beyond the beginning of the game. On the other hand, his site is still awesome overall. Gotta love stuff like the Super Mario Bros. manual write-up. Fascinating stuff.

So yeah. Please allow me to lay my credentials on the table. I was the translation guy for the now-long-since-defunct mother3.org translation, which got started a good bit before Starmen.net decided to enter the game and essentially blow us the hell out of the water. Long story short, most of our team was frankly not ready for the project, though the hacking talent (Jeffman, if memory serves) turned out to be super awesome at things. I emailed the project leader at the time, volunteering "I'm majoring in Japanese here in college," with all the linguistic skill level that that level of confidence would imply, and that was essentially enough for the project at the time. It wasn't an especially fancy group at the time, and they were looking for pretty much any talent that could conceivably help out on basically any level.

A word of caution: none of this is organized in any meaningful way, and my memory of a project that was now about half a decade ago3 is gradually fading, so I may have some factual errors or conflations. There are almost certainly cases where I take credit for something that wasn't, strictly speaking, me, but I'm not in contact with any member of either translation team at this point, and much of the pre-merger stuff was pretty much just me translating and/or tossing out ideas to the rest of the team. I do apologize in advance if anyone else from either team sees something I inaccurately take credit for. Furthermore, I think that it's been long enough since the release that I can probably safely talk about What Could Have Been without having to worry about sparking any alternate-continuity concerns, given that the Starmen.net translation patch is very nearly official canon at this point, at least among the people who actually care about the series in non-Japanese-speaking countries.

Also, I make no guarantees that any of this will be even remotely interesting.

So here we go.

Enemy names

A lot of people seem fond of a lot of the enemy name translations, and they're generally among the things I'm proudest of. A lot of them were just plain tough to translate, because, despite the overblown stuff you've no doubt read by Tim "I'm in love with my own importance for Living In Japan" Rogers and decided to think better of,4 Itoi really is a pretty good writer and likes to play with portmanteaus and other wordplay.

These aren't in any real order other than when my memory gets jogged. It's also partially that I'm looking at them in the order they're stored in the game data, which is all jumbly.

Mr. Generator was, at one point, going to be called Gene Rator. This was kind of a tough one for us5, as the name in Japanese, Jenetta-kun (ジェネッタくん) was kind of a play on words inasmuch as it was a modification of "generator" but done so as to sound like a name or something.

The Oh-so-Snake was going to be the Vanelizard early on. This requires a bit of explanation: there was never any real clear indication of what "Osohe" (オソヘ) in the original was intended to mean, so we interpreted it as a sort of inversion of "navel" (おへそ), and wound up with "Vanel." This also worked nicely, because the boss enemy was named the Osohebi (オソヘビ), with "hebi" meaning "snake" in Japanese. In the end, though, "Vanel" was nixed and it's unclear whether that's even a bad thing. Granted, this is all what-could-have-been stuff, since a large part of this stuff has essentially become canon by this point.

While everyone seems to love the name "Navy SQUEAL," the fact is that the Pigmasks don't really have special names at all in the original Japanese. This guy was originally just something along the lines of "Submarine Pigmask," which obviously isn't memorable or delightful at all. In the mother3.org days, we were going to use "Pork Trooper" (you know, like storm troopers) instead of the more literal "Pigmask" (ブタマスク) and have different names for the different ranks rather than the eventual, more direct translation. The change back to "Pigmask" was probably for the best in the end, though I'm really glad they kept "Navy SQUEAL," since that was one of my favorite name change ideas in the whole project.6

A lot of the enemy name translations were just things that fell into place. There's nothing in the Japanese that would suggest "Top Dogfish" ("Nushi Wanwan"/ヌシワンワン) for the tougher version of the Dogfish ("Wanwan Fish"/ワンワンフィッシュ), but a bit of knowledge of common (if slightly outmoded) English expressions leads that sort of thing to seem a natural fit.

Another one that seemed only natural was the Beaten Drum, which (if memory serves) translates more accurately as "punctured drum." On the other hand, I was too enamored with my own cleverness to realize that my original "Wailing Guitar" was nowhere near as good as "Gently Weeping Guitar," given Itoi's fondness for the Beatles. Tomato definitely made the right call on that one, unambiguously.

One enemy that I'm not really satisfied with the name of, in either my own stuff or the final translation patch, was the Bitey Snake ("Kamu toki wa kamu hebi"/かむときはかむヘビ), which I'd translated as "Snake that Might Bite." Both of these have issues in terms of accuracy of the translation, though given the actual picture of the Bitey Snake, that seems almost fine. The issue is that the name translates most accurately to something like "a snake that will bite when it's time to bite" or "that bites when the situation calls for it" or something equally unwieldy to express in English. That one was frankly a mess and I can't really think of anything that would have actually worked better than Tomato's "Bitey Snake."

One that I still actually prefer my original name for is the Ten-Yeti, which I'd originally translated the name of as "Cowabungable Snowman." Yes, the word is kind of dated (to say the least) but I'm apparently not the only one to have missed the intended wordplay involving "ten-eighty" (which, to be fair, works better in Japanese: compare テンエイティ and テンイエティ, though that didn't stop me from missing it entirely in Japanese too). Maybe it was meant as a nod to Nintendo's now-essentially-defunct snowboarding game series.

Speaking of silly and awkward puns, the Boa Transistor is victim to those on both ends. Obviously the English name is a play on "boa constrictor," but for the longest time it was just such a challenge to think of a decent translation for the Japanese "Hebii Metaru" (ヘビーメタル), a play on "hebi" (snake) and "heavy metal." Eventually I decided to pull the trigger and write in "Boa Transistor," which I'd thought was just unforgivably contrived, and it was received way better than I'd expected by basically everyone.

Barrel Man ("Taruman"/タルマン) was originally going to be "Casked Man," because, once again, I was a little too in love with my own cleverness. You see, because it is a play on "masked man," and there's a masked man in the story, and oh I'll just show myself out

The Pseudoor basically named itself — the Japanese name ("Tobira-modoki"/トビラモドキ) basically translates to "pseudo-door" and it was only a small jump from there.

The Sara-Sara-Sahara was frustrating, because it was clearly meant to resemble plates ("sara"/サラ) but the silliness of the name was just lost in English. The mother3.org translation had been using "Desert Plate" but that name is arguably hard enough to catch at a glance that it probably wouldn't have been much better in the end.

The Artsy Ghost was originally going to be the Abstract Ghost. The name ("Geijutsu na obake"/げいじゅつなオバケ) really does translate to "Artistic Ghost," so "Artsy Ghost" is a more accurate name overall, but I just liked the ring of "Abstract Ghost."

The Whatever was originally going to be called the Halfhearted Attempt. Probably a better translation of the original "Tekitou" (テキトウ) in the end anyway.

The Really Flying Mouse is worth noting just because of the Japanese name, which took a minor liberty with grammar to be pretty clever ("tobimasu tobi-mausu"/トビマストビマウス — literally it means "flying flying-mouse" but it's fun to say).

The Return of Octobot was one of my favorites (and I was glad that it got kept for the final). The Octobots all have weird names in the original Japanese, and the Japanese name in MOTHER 3 ("Tako Fu Tatabi"/タコ・フ・タタビ) basically translates to "Octopus Again," though with needlessly weird spacing to make it look/sound unnatural or foreign or something. I figured that "The Return of Octobot" was sufficiently cool-sounding, and I guess other folks agreed.

I'm ambivalent whether the change from our "Loose Screw" to "Screwloose" even makes much of a difference. In the original Japanese, there wasn't any pun of the sort involved, so it's not like either one is more accurate.

On the other hand, the Punk Rock Lobster became the Rock Lobster, making the clearly intended pun more obvious, though I still think those sunglasses are less rock 'n' roll and more punk rock.

Items

The Pasta with a Past is just about the only food name worth mentioning, really.7 The original Japanese "Wake-ari Pasta"/わけありパスタ wasn't really a joke in the name: the phrase "wake-ari"/わけあり refers mainly to the sort of mildly damaged goods you'd find at a store with a handwritten price tag and a minor discount. It literally means, essentially, "there's something about this item." On the other hand, the item's description is where it becomes a joke, stating that an "unspeakable circumstance" surrounds the pasta, rather than the usual meaning. While the innocuous name couldn't be translated while keeping the joke, a bit of wordplay was entirely within the bounds of possibility for the English version.

The Bufferizer and Defense Spray were originally named the Beefener and the Turtler, mostly because the actual items were named like energy drinks and there's no clear right choice. "Turtler," incidentally, was derived from fighting game terminology (e.g. to turtle, being the action of playing very defensively). On the other hand, the final version's Defense Spray is a neat call-back to EarthBound/MOTHER 2.

Characters

First and foremost, the mother3.org team had noticed that the game, much like EarthBound/MOTHER 2, allowed for a substantial number of "Don't Care" names to be stored. In the final game, this was only used for favorite food and your special PK power's name, but all of the characters had the same number of slots available for "Don't Care" names; they were each simply filled with a bunch of copies of the official name. We basically tried to take advantage of this as a sort of personalized easter egg, with each member of the team basically getting their own "set" of names to assign. These were generally named after friends and family, though I tried in vain to use my own set to follow a clever theme of some sort. Naturally, I never thought of anything particularly good.

Hinawa is named after a type of gun, along with Flint (Flint being named for flintlock guns, and Hinawa being named for matchlock guns, in Japanese). Obviously, while Flint is a nice, manly-sounding name in English, Hinawa is simply a no-go. Until the translation patch projects merged, the plan was very definitely to rename Hinawa to Amber, in order to provide a name that was actually a name in English, as well as keeping to a motif of some sort (in this case, types of stones). Un(?)fortunately, in the end the official translation wound up being Hinawa, though this was, in fairness, because the Starmen.net translation team preferred, whenever possible, to keep the names accurate to Nintendo's official translations they'd made public at various points.8

Ocho the octopus was originally Hachi (ハチ) in the Japanese. While the story of Hachiko is famous enough (and was even made into an American remake-of-a-movie movie starring Richard Gere), we9 figured we could do better for the English release. For one thing, the pun between the name "Hachi" and the fact that it means "eight" would be lost. For a while we just sort of hoped that maybe "Octo" would be an acceptable name, but it was pretty obvious it was kind of lazy and didn't have much cleverness or even giving-a-crap to it. As luck would have it, I stumbled upon an Addams Family retrospective around this point, and found out that, at least at some point, Pugsley had a pet octopus named Ocho. Perfect!

Following this "replace one old pop-culture reference with another" pattern, a lot of people have noticed that Achato and Entotsu (アチャト and エントツ, with the latter literally meaning "chimney") were renamed Bud and Lou, after Abbott and Costello. Incidentally, the original characters were also named after comedians from the early to mid 20th century: Achako and Entatsu.

Fassad's English name has a surprisingly unexciting origin. The Japanese name Yokuba/ヨクバ is basically derived from the word for "ambition" or "greed" ("yokubari"/欲張り), and that just didn't work in English. So I asked a friend of mine, one night, to help bounce ideas back and forth. I figured he was studying Arabic in college and could help out, so I asked him what various words were when translated into Arabic. After a couple of nonstarters, I tried, "What's 'corruption' in Arabic?" and his answer, "fassad," sounded sufficiently Arabian-y (given the character's appearance), as well as just being ever so perfect on multiple levels (given its Arabic meaning as well as the fact that it sounds a whole lot like "façade," which is ridiculously appropriate on, itself, at least two different levels). And that's why Ben Cocchiaro is credited under "Special Thanks." Thanks, Ben.

Frankly, we never had anything good lined up for Kumatora. We had her name as "Jackie" for a while, since it kinda sorta sounded like maybe it could also be a guy's name (c.f. Jackie Gleason), but we never felt particularly confident in it. "Violet," though, was picked for her cover identity later on, because we figured it had a "good, diner-y sounding" ring to it. We kept that in the end.

Salsa's name was kept, though the pun on "saru" ("monkey") was lost, so we figured that we should probably keep to some sort of name motif for his girlfriend-monkey too. "Saruko" just didn't work, so I wound up suggesting "Samba" for her name, partially inspired by Samba de Amigo. This is another case where one motif was switched out for another with the translation, though this one was kept in the end by the post-merger team.

There was a brief time when we considered changing Lighter's name to "Bic" or "Vic," but we eventually thought better of the idea. It's not as though EarthBound/MOTHER 2 wasn't full of silly names like Mr. Spoon, either.

Places

For the longest time, the Sunshine Forest was just called the Terry or Telly Forest, because of the way the Japanese name was written ("Teri-no-mori"/テリのモリ). At some point along the way, I got bored and looked up whether "teri" was even a word, and it turned out that it meant "sunshine" or "clear/dry weather," and there was a sort of collective OHHHHHHH among the team. Given the idyllic setting of the prologue, it seems only natural that that was the intended meaning. Tomato initially opposed it, but eventually relented, since it did make more sense as the name of a place.10

A lot of the other place names were way more contentious, though. The name of the town was the source of some reasonably substantial debate within the post-merger team, since the mother3.org team had been using "Dragonstep" for its translation of the admittedly fairly ambiguous "Tatsumairi"/タツマイリ. Tomato vetoed it based on the fact that the Japanese is far from 100% clear on what the name's derivation would be, and looking back the "Tatsu"="dragon" thing really only applies to very limited contexts in Japanese. Still, between that and the money being called DP (for "Dragon Points") Tomato thought it was just too blatant as dragon-related foreshadowing, and I eventually conceded the point, since he was the guy with professional experience and who could actually, you know, speak Japanese fluently at the time.11

Most of the place names were, at one point or another, going to be translated into at least some semblance of English. Tanetane Island ("Tanehineri"/タネヒネリ) was going to be something like "Twisttrick Island," given that "tane" can mean "a secret" or "a trick," and "hineru" can mean "to twist," or "to puzzle over something." On the other hand, Twisttrick kind of sucked as a name, so the Starmen.net team rightly chose to discard it. Plus, in the debug menus it was already referred to as Tanetane anyway — the final Japanese name appeared to be a fairly late change.

The Sunset Graveyard was, in the mother3.org translation, going to be the Chowding Graveyard, because of the original name "Misoshire" being an apparent play on "miso-shiru" (miso soup), treating it as a verb instead of a noun. If memory serves, this is another case where we wound up going with an internal debug name instead in the end. "Chowding" wasn't very good anyway.

Looking back at the notes, it's clear that we just didn't have any good ideas for a lot of the places in the game, though we probably would have worked something out in the end. Honestly, though, the Starmen.net team's approach of leaving all but the most egregious obviously-meant-as-wordplay names intact was probably the best option in the end.

So that's about it, really.

I just want to finish this up with a big ol' THANK YOU to everyone who did the real work and heavy lifting on the patch, especially Tomato for his insanely great translation work, and the hackers who found a problem that we thought at first would be literally impossible, and then fixed it, to a degree that their fix went beyond the impossible. Thanks again to Ben Cocchiaro, all-around swell guy and owner of an Arabic-English dictionary, for helping to provide the ridiculously appropriate name of a major character in a cult hit, and thanks to @gigideegee, whom I promised via Twitter that I would actually write all this stuff up, and that gave me the motivation to do it because TWITTER PROMISES are SERIOUS BUSINESS. I also highly recommend her great webcomic, Cucumber Quest, especially if you liked her older "Let's Destroy Metal Gear!" and the like.

Thanks for reading.

I applied for a job at Nintendo of America, and hoped that they wouldn't find out about my Sordid Fan Translation Past, so I pulled the page. Given that they just sort of suddenly stopped responding to emails at one point in the application process, TECHNICALLY they have not turned me down for the position. ↩︎

"Localization" is a fancy term that means changing a name or a joke so that it makes sense in the target language, especially when it comes to wordplay in the source language. Sometimes the changes are also just kind of arbitrary, though that can at times be in order to avoid potential lawsuits and the like. ↩︎

!!!. Actually, looking at the files I still have on my computer, they generally show a "last modified" date in April of 2007, so that'd be about five years ago now. Dang. ↩︎

Factual errors I can think of off the top of my head in his EarthBound/MOTHER 2 article alone: the phone call asking for your name happens on a specific tile in Summers, not "at a number of steps that's about halfway through the game," and there's no obscene pre-set name set. The guy's a prolific writer but he needs an editor and a fact-checker, because the editor will already be busy enough trying to cut 60–70% of the length of any given article he writes. TAKE THAT, FAMOUS PERSON! SAYS RELATIVE NOBODY ↩︎

By which I mean, over the course of this write-up, primarily me, because after the projects merged Tomato basically took over all translation duties, and before the merge I was basically the guy doing all of the translation stuff for the mother3.org project, if memory serves. ↩︎

Your run-of-the-mill, never-studied-Japanese anime fan will probably pitch a fit for my suggesting this, but English is a WAY richer language for nuance, wordplay, and just generally enjoying words. Japanese nuance can be hard to translate in certain circumstances, but 90% of English-language movies are subtitled into Japanese with what are basically just factual translations of the content of what each character said, with virtually no effort taken to preserve nuance and color. In other words, you're damn right I'm proud that I made a pun that was impossible in the native language, but that works perfectly. ↩︎

With the possible exception of the Fizzy Soda, which was called the Extreme Soda in the mother3.org translation at the time. There, now you know the entire story of that one. ↩︎

This includes places like Nintendo Power previews of the then-not-yet-canceled 64DD release, as well as the bits and pieces of text in Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii. ↩︎

See footnote 4. ↩︎

Have I mentioned what a consummate professional and just generally swell guy he is? ↩︎

Whereas now I look back on my attempts at translation in the various files I still have stored on my hard drive, wondering what on earth was I even thinking? at roughly one in three lines. Funny thing, language acquisition. ↩︎

[fabulous-fan-fables]

[A Fiddle in Anniera Liveblog, chapters 1-4]

Spoilers for The Wingfeather Saga, A Fiddle in Anniera, link here, and general content warnings for things already present in the story. Also slight mention of MCD (that autocorrected to McDonald’s) and a lot of capslock and misspellings, maybe some swears?? Idk.

—

Chapter 1: Nightmare

Oh no i forgot it starts out with Fiddleford all lonely and panicking :< don’t worry it gonna be ok lil hobo

NO FIDDLEFORD U AREN’T A BOTHER!!!! Evreyobe loves u ok you arent a orblem by existingdaf

OMG SLEEPOVER I FORGOT HOW SOFT THIS WAS HJHJHJHHJgdhjfhjshfjhg

Hjhjhjh nest with birb arthatm,,, haha nest haha birbdj

—

Chapter 2: Food

Oh noo fiddleford :< ik you were a hobo but they have food and stuff now for you no need to go hunrgysg

Pretty short chapter but i like it a lot nevertheslss also bro i love the fiddle and artham friendship theyre such good buddies and they both helping each other heal :<

—

Chapter 3: Clothes

Bro why is fiddle always so sad and frightened :< ppl love u ok youre safe and taken care of now :<

I like the thought of fiddle just wearing one of mabels sweaters like,, over his overalls. Since that sound like something he’d do, you know? Or, OR overalls over the sweater, so its like an undershirt (under sweater)

Nia is mom friend confirmed tho. Well. she is mom. So it makes sense

Bro tall fiddle is canon he just has horrible posture. I hc nia as being super tall (n elegant, like the queen she is) so fiddle being the same height as her with not acting like a rat boy is canon dude

Artham: *knitting socks for his friend*

Aurendelle: my husband is such a dork omg <3

Bro i want more of this artham and aurendelle stuff sign me the he ck up

Anway back to fid man he hes more sweaters but actually soft ones not made out of 3 inch diameter yarn made right off a rams back. Idk i just think mablels sweaters are super uncomfortable. Aethestic, yes, but comfortable, no

HE PUT IT ON OVER HIS OVERALLS I CALLED IT HJHJHJHJKHJHGHgjug

fiddl e literally had christmas early huh good for him

And he just called it christmas bruh what am i doing witha all tehs wacky predicatiosn

Family,,, family hug :> found family is the hecing best omgfg i love this

—

Chapter 4: Snuggles

Ok this one im reading for the first time and hjhjhh im excited i liket athat ttiel i want ssdfnugglesessdfs

Aw its a leeli chapter! Leeli reminds me of my lil blonde headed crazy lil sister (leah, incidentally) and so i keep imaging leeli as her. Anyway leeli just being a hugger is great and aww artham still has some trauma to work through :/ but he hgot his friends and family :> he got thsi :>

“Dont worry janner and kal wont jump out and spook you” bro has the bois done that befoer thats so mean omfg-- or it might just be fiddle’s trauma talking and his ornate fear of,,, just general fear and restlesnness i gues

FLOWERCROWN OMFG THATS SO CUTE???? Leelie gave him flowercorwn omgh i may draw that thats aadornale,,, also i like the little janner/sara note lmao theyd be a cute couple.. You knwo, if janner wasnt dead :/ jkjkjk

Leeli and fiddle form the first band of anniera and just jam out. Idk who sings. Arhtam? Yeah. artham. He my comfor t charate. He sings. Or screeches. Still got that bird dna thing hgoijn gon.

Noooo back to the fiddle anhgst i love u buddy ok no ones out to hurt u and ppl care about and appreciate u now :< and him talking about being unworthy of the new stuff they give him,,, no, u worthy!!!! Omfg my heart :<

Fiddle: *has a panic attack*

Fiddle: wow aint i a fool?

Leeli: why would u think that, bro-

LEELI TALKING ABOUT PEET OMFG MY HEART NOOO AUTHRO U CANT DO THSI---

Snuggles :> aka leelie holds him while fiddle cries omfg this is so sad--

—

Anyways read wingfeather saga and a fiddle in anniera by @mozart-the-meerkitten they good I swear

[boymeetsweevil]

For science 1/7 -  (NSFW)

Grouping: Reader x Nerd!Jungkook

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings/Themes: masturbation (vaginal) & voyeurism, unrequited feelings, eventual sex. is this crack yet? lol there’s a plot i swear.

Summary: Jungkook asks you to let him watch you get off. For science.

A/N: posting this now because I’ve been working on it on and off for like a month and im tired of looking at it and jk’s bday is coming up HAPPY BIRTHDAY JK and i’ll be too busy with school plus im almost 7k into the second chapter so..

part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

Your eyes burn in protest as you scroll to the top of your terminal window once more to search for the error that is fucking your code up. It’s been hours of work and you still haven’t managed to get your program to run even though the homework assignment is easy in theory. In fact it’s just like a problem that Jungkook said the professors would probably give you in your sophomore year, and here you are in your junior year seeing such an ‘easy’ question. With him, it had truly been easy, though. Jungkook was a better computer science teacher than any professor you’d ever encountered. Thinking back to early high school days has you smiling softly to yourself. 

You miss sitting closely together, heads sometimes touching, as you both bent over a problem while he explained why it looked hard, but was actually something you could do in your sleep. The wide smile he would give you when you completed competition questions in minimal time would always set your heart fluttering.

Your phone vibrating brings you back to reality. The caller ID reads ~JK~ and you swoop in to answer the call. If the time in the corner of your computer is right (and it is) he should have already opened his decision letter from the PhD department.

“Hey, what’s the verdict,” you ask as soon as you accept the call. You know there’s no other reason why he’d call you when you were supposed to meet up in a few hours for weekly game night.

“I got in,” his voice is soft, but you know him well enough to be able to hear the joy mixed in.

“Congratulations, Kook! That’s amazing, I knew you would get in, they’d be crazy not to accept you. Oh my god, we should celebrate.”

“Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could go out for drinks before heading back to mine to play tonight. You in?” Now you can practically hear the smile in his voice.

“Of course I’m in. Let me just pack up and I can meet you. Where are you--the department lounge? I’ll come over.”

“Actually,” his shy tone has you sitting down slowly, returning your jacket to where you had it slung over the back of your chair. “You don’t have to leave right away. I was gonna try and call Yoori. You know, to tell her the news. And then tell Tae and Hobi, of course.”

“Oh. Yeah, no, that makes total sense. I should probably finish this code for Choi’s class anyway. It’s due on Sunday, but I’m almost done. Might as well turn it in early once I find this error.” Your hand scrapes at the sides of your jeans, looking for something to grab at.

“Well then I guess I have time,” he chuckles, “Your typos are always so tiny that they take hours to find. Let’s meet up at the bar in 2 hours then?” 

You wince. Although it’s not at all a mean-spirited jab, you’re no longer in the mood for the friendly banter at the mention of Yoori, Jungkook’s long time unrequited love.

“Sure. See you then,” you hang up before he has the chance to say goodbye formally like he always insists on doing.

You put your phone down and berate yourself for getting distracted. If you were the brilliant Yoori, you wouldn’t have even made the typo in the first place. But you weren’t Yoori because you didn’t have the fortune of being born four years earlier and four times more beautiful, elegant, or intelligent. And you didn’t have the luck of being so much of a genius that you could skip years ahead of school like Jungkook either. So instead you would just have to chug along, always watching Jungkook chase Yoori.

You go back to scrolling through your code only to find the error a third of the way down. Jungkook was right, the typo was tiny--a misplaced equals sign. You sigh and run the code to make sure it’s perfect this time, and when it is you send it in to your professor to be graded. You consider heading home and using the extra time to make yourself look nice. Not that there was anything wrong with your oversized university t-shirt and jeans, but suddenly you think maybe things would be different for you with regards to your love life if you tried a little harder. You’re about to leave the library entrance that’s closest to your dorm, but you get a text from Jungkook.

6:41 - I called Yoori and she said she heard about my deal with RealiCorp and she wants to link up when she gets back on campus!

You narrow your eyes at the text. Jungkook had recently sold some software he developed to an up and coming gaming company that was supposed to make the imaging on immersion headsets better. He had made a pretty penny and was covertly offered a position at the company, but it was also a large victory for the computer science department at the university and his picture had been circulating around the department website for weeks. You suppose she finally saw it while she was taking a break from her research project off campus and decided to answer his calls for a change.

You text back what you hope sounds like a cheerful congratulation and decide to just go to the bar instead. What’s the harm in a few rounds before the rest of the crew arrives?

The harm would have been miniscule at most if you hadn’t been in your feelings, but when Jungkook, Tae, and Hobi arrive, you’re three rounds in and a little bit sloppy.

“Woah,” Hobi shouts, giving you a too strong pat on the back when he sits in the chair next to you. “Someone started a little early. What’s the occasion, are we celebrating something for you too?” Jungkook shakes his head with a sheepish smile and goes to sit beside you, away from Hoseok.

“Nope. Just getting ready for an evening with your loud ass.” He gives you a pretend pout and flags the bartender over. Tae sits next to him and gives you a little wave and smile.

“Two whiskeys, make mine a sour and make his straight. From the high shelf.”

“Hey now,” Taehyung’s eyes widen comically, “Are you forgetting that payday isn’t until next week? I’ll take the regular whiskey down there, please.”

“Don’t worry. Kookie said he was paying with his RealiCorp money,” Hoseok stage whispers into your ear, “He’ll probably cover your round too.”  You swat him away and turn to Jungkook, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“You know I’ll cover yours. The rest of them, I don’t know.”

“What? Come on, you’re the youngest,” Tae whines, less than satisfied with his cheap whiskey shot.

“Shouldn’t that mean you guys pay for me?”

“N-no! Because you’re actually our senior now. You’re graduating this year, I’m the oldest technically but I’m not graduating until next year. We know these two aren’t graduating until the year after that,” he points to you and Tae, “Plus, you’re going to the PhD program next year. You should definitely be paying for us.” Hoseok has a point, you and Tae nod sagely to back him up.

“Fine,” Jungkook sighs, pushing his thick glasses up the bridge of his nose, “I’m in a good mood, so why not.”

“I bet you are,” Tae’s grin is big and catlike in the low light of the bar. His gaze a little lewd. “I would be too if I was one step closer to finally bagging a girl like Yoori.”

You look down into your beer bottle, the green glass suddenly much more fascinating than the conversation at hand.

“Did you hear,”Hoseok turns toward you,”Yoori is gonna come back soon and when she does he’s gonna make her Mrs. Jeon.”

“I’ll be sure to throw rice during the wedding,” you snark. The bartender brings you a new beer without another word. Taehyung howls at your comment.

“I’d kill to have a wedding night with her.”

“Hell, I’d kill to have a bathroom stall night. With anyone,” Hoseok sighs, “It’s hard out here for a comp-sci major. Right, guys?”

You hum in agreement. It had been a while since you’d last gotten laid.

“You’re right. I can’t even remember that geology minor’s face. Do you remember her? What was her name? Mara? Kara?”

“Sara,” Hoseok provides with a grin, “I think she has a thing for comp-sci majors. Kook, you ever hook up with Sara?”

Jungkook shyly traces a finger around the rim of his empty vodka class. “I haven’t hooked up with anyone.”

“Ever?” You try to keep incredulity from bleeding into your question.

“Ever,” he nods. He hiccups a little and all of the sudden you totally believe that Jungkook is a virgin.

“Dude, wait, I thought you hooked up with that one chick at the music festival last spring. Am I the only one who saw her?” 

Tae nods in agreement. “Yeah, she gave you her hotel room key and everything.”

“It wasn’t like that. She told me her brother was there for a robotics tournament and I asked her if I could see the bot.”

You smile despite your sour mood. If there was one thing you loved about Jungkook it was his blind enthusiasm for STEM. Even if it made him a little oblivious to other things at times.

“Well, you better fix that whole virgin thing fast, bro. Chicks like Yoori probably want someone with experience. In more ways than one, if you catch my drift.” Hoseok nudges Tae with a wry smile.

“That’s not just a Yoori thing, most people don’t want to have to coddle someone in bed unless that’s, like, their kink or something,” you take a large swallow of beer.

“Wait,” Tae says, eyeing you like he’s had an epiphany, “You’re a girl--”

“Didn’t we establish this 2 years ago? When we met?”

“No, no, I mean you can help Kookie so he doesn’t drop the ball with Yoori.”

“Yeah, right,” you snort, “Help him how? Give him a sex-ed lecture?” You turn to laugh with Jungkook, but he’s looking at you seriously. Or as seriously as he can when he’s tipsy with unfocused eyes and blushing cheeks.

“You…don’t want to help me?” His voice sounds pathetic and small, making you feel bad instantly.

“Oh, Kook, it’s not that I don’t want to help you. But think about what that implies.”

“Is it because I’m a virgin?”

“Oh my god, Kook, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin don’t listen to us. We’re idiots.”

“Then why don’t you want to help me?”

Because I like you. You swallow hard, your throat suddenly dry. You obviously don’t say that, though. Instead you sit back in your bar stool.

“I-I would if I could, but I don’t know how to help you,” you finally say.

“It’s fine. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I guess the thought of being with Yoori makes me a little stupid.”

Desperately you search for a solution. Instead of finding one, you call the bartender back and order a round of tequila shots. Jungkook gives you a sad look but doesn’t ruin the mood by not taking a shot. You order two more rounds because somehow, even though he’s drunk, he still looks dejected. After your third shot you can’t stand the way his shoulder slump.

“You know what,” you slur loudly, drawing three pairs of eyes to your face lazily. “It’s getting late and we might not get to play Fortnite this weekend. Let’s all get to bed so we can be up early tomorrow to play.”

Tae points a wobbly finger in your direction, eyes suspicious. “When you say early, you mean after 2pm right?”

It takes twenty minutes for everyone to get their shit together enough to leave the bar. Tae and Hoseok keep losing each other in the bathroom. Jungkook keeps forgetting that he has to pay and tries to ask the bartender what he thinks about sub-atomic particle physics. Even though you’re drunk off your ass, you somehow manage to keep yourself responsible enough to wrangle Tae and Hobi out of the bathroom and guide Jungkook through the motions of swiping his card and signing the bill. The four of you then squeeze into the back of an uber. Hoseok whines about being lonely while sitting in the passenger’s seat. Jungkook’s bumps his hand against yours until he can firmly grasp it and get your attention before you pass out.

“Hey, can I sleep on the couch,” he whispers in your ear. His breath smells like alcohol and limes. You turn your head to chase the scent away and rest your head on his shoulder. You yawn.

“Sure. No problem, buddy.”

Your apartment is the first stop on the route and you launch yourself out the car and run up through your lobby and to the elevator to escape the cold of the air conditioner and the fluorescent lights. Jungkook lingers in the car until Tae pushes him out to make room for Hoseok.

“Kook,” Tae calls out as he helps Hoseok pour himself into the back seat.

“Wassap?”

“The only way to get good at sex is losta—lotta...lot’s a practish. Okay?”

“But-but…Who am I gonna practice with?”

Tae merely whistles and points a finger upward, gesturing to your illuminated window. The car pulls away and Jungkook sways unsteadily up onto the sidewalk with nausea clawing at his throat. Thinking of the stairs he’ll have to climb—because there’s no way in hell he’s taking the elevator, even in this state—he regrets not just going to his own first floor dorm. Does he really need to get sex counseling from you? There’s always porn, he muses before remembering the rant you’d gone on blaming porn for making a guy you’d been hooking up with try to do weird things in bed involving a summer squash. Looks like he’d have to rely on the real deal to get anywhere with Yoori. Oh, Yoori.

A shimmering vision of the beautiful girl with elegant eyes and an ever-painted smile floats in front of his hazy vision and gives him the strength he needs to hobble forward towards the lobby door with dedication.

Minutes ago you couldn’t wait to go to sleep, but as soon you unlocked your door and made it to your room, you were wide awake. Even brushing your teeth and stripping out of your jeans didn’t to tire you out.

“Fuck,” you groan. You throw yourself onto your bed and hope that the way the room spins will lull you to sleep but when the spinning stops, your eyes still won’t stay closed.

The clock resting on your desk across the room reads 1:48am. It’s already clear that you’re going to be hung over, but knowing that it won’t be cushioned by a nice long sleep before you have to go to yoga at 12 makes you want to cry. You desperately wrack your brain for all the remedies there are to make you sleepy. You just canceled your cable last week to save some money, so you can’t veg out in front of the TV. You’re lactose intolerant, so warm milk isn’t an option. You’d take a warm shower but you washed your hair already and if you go to bed with wet hair your mother’s voice will haunt you all night with stories of the cold coming your way. Kicking your feet in frustration, you toss yourself over the edge of the bed to hang. Maybe all the blood will flow to your head and you’ll pass out.

You’re about to risk passing out and landing on your neck the wrong way and dying when a bright pink shoebox under your bed catches your eye. Of course, you think, how could you forget your precious vibrator. Luckily for you, a good orgasm or three always managed to knock you out like a light. You reach over and scoot the box forward with your outstretched fingertips until you get it close enough to reach inside and grab the petite tiffany blue bullet. Giddy laughter leaves your mouth as you heft yourself back onto your bed and fall back on the pillows with a contented sigh. Orgasms solve all your problems. You flick the device on to the lowest setting and ghost it against your clothed mound.

Jungkook is completely breathless as he leaves the center stairwell and finally arrives on your floor. The stairs were a bitch and a half, but your door is only two down from the floor entrance. He can practically hear the siren song of your pull-out couch. When he turns the knob to your front door, it doesn’t budge and he wonders if you must have locked it on instinct. There’s no way you forgot that he was staying over, he thinks to himself. Reaching above the doorjamb, he hunts for the spare key you left there especially for him. The door unlocks easily and he smiles to himself as he locks the door behind him and toes off his shoes. He’s about to face plant into the couch when you call his name faintly from your bedroom.

As he stumbles through the hallway slowly to your room, he thinks over what Taehyung said to him before driving off. To Jungkook’s drunk mind it makes sense, so it must be a good idea to seek sex practice from you. You’re the only girl he knows and he’s known you so long that he can already tell there would be no awkwardness. The sad look in your eyes as you listened to his predicament in the bar tells him that you want to help him, but you didn’t know what route to take. He flexes his hands by his sides and figures he’ll just tell you what Taehyung told him and get to coming up with a curriculum.

The door to your bedroom is half-open and the lights shine through the opening, so he figures you must be up and waiting for him. He can still hear you calling his name, but it still sounds oddly soft from where he is. He pushes the door open but freezes in his tracks when he sees you.

The first thing he notices is obviously the frantically moving hand you have between your legs and the loud buzzing sound that comes from it. He takes in more details the longer he looks. He realizes belatedly then that you’re not wearing pants. Thanks to the high prescription strength of his glasses, he can also see the way your hand and thighs shine and the huge dark spot in the crotch of your panties in the light of your table lamp. Your toes are curling and he can just make out the way your lower stomach clenches underneath the very same sweatshirt you’d been wearing to the bar. Technically he can’t see your other hand but he has a pretty good idea of where it is and what it might be doing with the way it disappears under your shirt. You can’t see him, though, because your head is thrown back and your eyes are closed. The only thing you’re probably at least partly aware of is the cacophony of wet sounds that come from where you work the nose of the toy over yourself. The last thing he notices is the way you call his name in a soft whining tone that has him stepping forward without thinking.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you whine as the slippery heel of your hand bumps against your covered clit a little roughly on an upstroke.

“Yes?”

“What the hell,” your eyes snap open and your head whips around to see him leaning on the door frame as he watches you.

His eyes are heavy with alcohol and his cheeks are just as pink as the lip he releases from the grasp of his teeth. He reaches out and stumbles forward, causing you to scramble back to distance yourself from him. You bring your knees up to hug to your chest before you realize that you’re still very much on show.

“Jeon Jungkook, what is going on here,” you shriek, bringing your hands to cover your eyes only makes you feel a little bit better.

He sits down on your bed like it’s any other day and he’s just chilling in the room like you invited him over. And then you realize that you did kind of invite him over as fragmented memories of the recent uber ride you took together spring up.

“You said you wanted to help me, but you didn’t know how. But Tae told me I just have to practish.”

“Practish?”

“Practice,” he corrects himself.

“Practice what?”

“Practice sex. Duh!”

“Jungkook, no!”

“Please? I wouldn’t be asking such a huge favor if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary.”

“Why can’t you just go to a frat party like everyone else?” 

Your heart is beating rapidly and you think maybe you’re not drunk anymore. Never in your life did you think you would turn down sex from Jungkook, but then again you never pictured it happening this way.

“Because I,” his head hangs and he starts to pick at a loose thread in your duvet, “I guess I missed out on this kind of thing when we were younger and I don’t think I could get very good results in a basement party. Plus, I know you’d…”

“I’d what?”

“You’d be good to me.” He lifts his eyes to lock with yours. His gaze is oddly sharp despite the fact that his skin is still clammy like it gets when he drinks.

Your breath hitches and for a moment it does feel like the fantasies you have almost every other time that you settle into your room, lonely and horny. Jungkook laughs bitterly to himself and you can feel your resolve crumbling as something selfish rears its head in the back of your mind. He tries one last time. 

“Please?” 

You crack.

“Okay.”

“Really?” His eyes light up once more as he gives you a blinding smile. “Great. Let’s start!”

It feels as though you’re having an out of body experience as you watch him clamber closer onto the bed with you. Your legs naturally open to accommodate him and he scoots into your space, his hands falling to naturally stroke with the soft skin of your ankles. Even though he lacks experience, Jungkook has a leg up in that he’s naturally on the affectionate side. Something you can’t teach with any amount of practice. Even still, the idea that Jungkook will be sitting between your naked thighs makes your stomach do flip flops.You barely start formulating something to say that will sound educational when you hear him get ready to interject once more.

“God, what is it?” You worry that if he interrupts you one more time you’ll lose your nerve.

“I need a visual aid. And, uh, I won’t be able to see because of your, uh, undergarments.”

You’re certain that you’ve never taken anything off faster than you do in that moment. The panties fly into some far corner of your room and you can only hope that they don’t land in a clump of dust bunnies.

“Alright,” you stutter, “I don’t have to give you an anatomy lesson, right? Please tell me you at least know where everything is.”

“We took anatomy together in 7th grade,” he says like that’s a decent answer.

You roll your eyes. “Right, okay. Anatomy lesson it is.”

“What’s this,” you point at yourself.

“That’s the uh…entrance to the vagina?”

“Ok and?”

“It’s where the pleasure comes from?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes?”

“Partial credit.”

“Isn’t that where the…phallus goes, though?” You decide it would be best to ignore his word choice for now.

“Yeah, I mean stuff goes in there but that’s not where all the pleasure comes from. For some people that’s not where any of it comes from.”

His eyes widen nervously. “Then where does it come from if not from penetration?”

You gesture again. “This is the clitoris.” His sweaty bangs flop over his lenses as he nods enthusiastically. Finally something he remembers.

“The clitoris,” he chirps affirmatively. You side eye him, but keep going.

“This little thing is basically there for the sole purpose of pleasure.”

“How do I activate it?” Again you blink at his terminology. Although you’d been a STEM freak with Jungkook for years, somehow he managed to baffle you with his nerdiness.

“Uh, you can stimulate it by touching it.” You draw a small circle in the air around the nub to demonstrate. “Like that, for example. You can also use your hands or your mouth.”

“Or that little blue thing you were using earlier,” he chimes in, reminding you of the embarrassing way this whole thing started.

You sigh. “Yeah. That too.”

“And that’s it?”

“No that’s definitely not it. We haven’t even touched the other places of pleasure or technique or foreplay. But this is a pretty good cheat code.”

“So what about the inside? Like the tubes?”

“There’s really not that much you need to know involving the actual reproductive organs themselves. We can just focus on the external bits for now.” You wince at how uncomfortable the discussion is.

“That makes sense,” his brows furrow seriously. He’s slow to blink, partly so he doesn’t miss anything and partly because he’s still fighting off tendrils of sleep.

“I mean,” you wring your hands anxiously, “that’s all you really need to know for now. It’s mostly learning on the go, anyway. You’ll be fine.”

“But what if I’m not fine. Don’t you think you could, you know, show me?”

“What is there to show?”

“How about you just continue…what you were doing when I came in.”

“Masturbating.”

“What?”

“I was masturbating when you came in.”

A hand flies to the collar of his shirt and he tugs on it sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

You try not to focus on how weirdly awkward the mood is now that your lust has calmed down to barely even a simmer. You reach for the discarded vibrator that jumped out of your hand and landed by the edge of the head of your bed, but he stops you with a raised hand.

“Can you, uh, maybe do it the old-fashioned way? For the first time at least?”

“Right, I guess I’ll get to it.”

Jungkook sits back on his heels patiently and watches closely as your hand trails a path down your torso to the apex of your thighs. The first touch, though you know it’s your own hand, has you twitching a bit. You bite your lip hard to focus and circle your entrance to coax out more moisture, then you move back to circle your clit. You close your eyes in hopes that not being able to see Jungkook’s gaping expression will help. It does, a bit. After a few moments, you let out a breathy sigh and sink further into the pillows. You plant one foot more firmly on the mattress to give yourself some leverage and push yourself more into your circling hand. The slight increase in pressure has you moaning and your eyes fluttering. You peek through heavy lids to see Jungkook’s expression has also changed. His eyes, clear just a second ago, look glassy again from behind his lenses, his mouth slack and shiny. The rise and fall of his chest is a bit heavier. You let yourself think it’s because of you and go back to collect more arousal to increase the slip.

Apparently, you’re more turned on than you thought. When your middle and ring fingers wander down to your hole they come back pleasantly slick. Something in you suddenly feels rebellious, so you use your free hand to spread your lips further and bring your coated fingers up to Jungkook’s face. You flex your fingers and separate them to show crystalline streaks of arousal connecting them.

“Just so you know, this is a good sign.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Somehow, even though you’re still wearing socks and a baggy sweatshirt, you’re hotter than all the completely bare, busty women he’d watched moan and writhe wildly on his computer screen. He reaches out and delicately grabs you wrist before redirecting your hand back to your dripping center.

“Keep going,” he rasps.

You whine and begin to rub your clit more earnestly, lewd wet sounds fill the room. He can practically see your lips getting wetter and wetter as you redistribute your arousal with every rough swipe of your fingers. Your wrist is moving fast, but it’s clear that you’re becoming frustrated with all that you can do with one hand. Your other hand quickly moves to take over making tight figure eights around your clit while the one already coated in your juices moves back down to your entrance once more. This time, you crook two shining fingers and shove them into your hole. Immediately your back bends and a drawn out moan leaves your mouth. Jungkook gasps quietly. You pump your fingers in and out roughly, then withdraw them to add a third finger.

He watches you like that for a while before you get fed up again. It’s been a while since you’ve been so needy and you feel like you’re on fire. Your toes curl impatiently on either side of Jungkook and he realizes you’re looking for more. On instinct he scoots further until his own legs are brushing up against the undersides of yours. His hand reaches out to pet your quivering thigh in a sympathetic effort to help with your plateau. He looks down at your hand, twitching feverishly in and out of yourself. His hands are much bigger and suddenly he moves like he’s about to replace your fingers with his own.

When Jungkook’s hands start to approach your center your breath hitches. You’re not quite in the right state of mind to reject him if he offers to finger you, but you don’t want to take advantage of the situation and make it any more emotionally complicated than it already is.

“Not yet,” you offer when his hands get too close for comfort, “Next time, maybe.”

He seems to be thinking the same thing and averts his attention to the forgotten vibrator. His grip on your thigh disappears, and you sigh quietly, but it’s hidden under the slick sounds you make each time your fingers get sucked into your heat and the low moans you make every time your pinch your clit just so.

“W-what do I do?” His voice is small and his sudden worried look has you wrapping a hand around his and bringing it to show him how you click the toy on and circle it around your entrance.

His hands are sweaty, shaky, so when your hips start to circle on their own, they move to find a resting spot on your thighs and squeeze to deal with the tension rising in his own belly. He grits his teeth, clenches his hands, does anything he can to keep from overstepping and making this about him. As obviously cliché as it sounds, seeing you sweating and moaning underneath him lets him see you in a new light. You’d always been around, but your presence as a woman in his life was backgrounded at best. Now, with Yoori momentarily not clouding his mind, he wants nothing more than to ravage you. He’s almost certain that if he tried, his lack of experience wouldn’t matter too much. He’s sure his body would be able to act on baser instinct and give you the what you wanted. If you wanted.

Your moans change in pitch and soon he’s aware that this will be the first time he’ll have been privy to someone else’s orgasm in real life. His dick is painfully hard and straining against the jeans he’s wearing. But he forgets the discomfort fast as he watches you grind yourself down against the toy in a way that is absolutely filthy. Your bottom lip, shiny and reddened, is pulled taut between your teeth in ecstasy. Your eyes flutter open and lock with his own. You focus and notice his blown-out pupils look huge within the depths of deep brown irises. There’s no denying he’s turned on once you flick your gaze down to his crotch and see the large tent in his pants.

“I—I think I’m gonna…Oh!” Your leg kicks out on its own like some electric current runs through you. Your voice breaks as the waves of your approaching high begin to take over you. One of his hands inches upwards a bit and strokes the tense muscle near your groin softly, at a loss for words. “Oh god, Jungkook, you—” keening, your eyes roll into the back of your head.

One of your hands reaches up to squeeze at his bicep as he’s leaning over you. He wonders in the back of his mind when he got so close to you. Your leg hooks around him like it has a mind of it’s own and tugs him down, forcing him to topple over you. That’s the last straw and you sob from the intense pleasure. Meanwhile your warmth and proximity and your words prove to be a deadly combination and within seconds he’s spilling over himself in his boxers, untouched. He lets out a low groan that puffs against the side of your neck.

You both sit there and breathe for a long while, catching your breath and coming back down to earth. He sits up eventually and pulls away from you, leaving you cold. Your legs flop from around him heavily. You’re a bit irritated when you realize you won’t be able to walk normally for a while. He discretely wipes his hands off on your duvet while you wipe at the sweat soaking your hairline.

“That’s it, that’s the show,” you finally say.

He shoots up and looks at you anxiously. It’s cute. “You mean until next time, right?”

His eyes are wide and imploring as he hovers over by you. He looks a bit like a turtle from this angle. A cute one, though. One that you want to play with again next week. You nod even though he might have all that he needs to do well with Yoori, being the fast learner that he is.

“I guess so. Same time, next week. Do some research for next time maybe. Make sure it’s from something not involving the medical library.”

“Got it!” He turns and waits until you’re not looking to adjust his pants.

You notice his hair is sticking to his forehead when he finally stands up. And there’s a cowlick sticking up in the back that reminds you of middle school Jungkook, before he met Yoori. The idea of the other girl, the girl he’s really in love with, dims your post-coital glow. Although, you suppose you have her to thank for this evening’s events. How else could you have ever managed a one-sided romp in the sheets with your long-time crush?

Both of you take turns using the bathroom to clean up. While he hums in time with washing up, you slip panties on and debate about whether or not to throw your sweats back on. You decide that if you’re going to play this off like it hasn’t changed your relationship, you should put pants back on.He comes out looking pink and clean and you want to pull him back into your bed and wrap yourself around him. 

To protect his glasses from the dangers of the bathroom, he left them in your room. Squinting, he walks with hands out to collect them. When he puts them on he doesn’t look at you and instead pulls his phone out of his pocket and swipes around while leaving the room.

“Heading out,” you ask with a quasi-disinterested tone.

“Yeah, I remembered I have to run the Saturday tutoring session this week. So I might as well go home so I can get ready for that. You should come, you know. Your test scores dropped 2 points this week.” Typical Jungkook. He couldn’t ever fully leave TA mode.

You roll your eyes. “Thanks for the reminder, but that’s still an A.”

“Maybe we can try this again next week the same time?”

“Yeah, uh, okay.”

“Cool, I’ll put it on my calendar.” He lifts his phone to his face to tell the digital assistant to pencil you in for next week. You try not to grimace at becoming a date in his calendar app.

“Get out already, you nerd.” You push him out after he puts his coat back on, but you do watch out the window to make sure his taxi comes.

[ruffiorocks]

James Olsen and Why he is a terrible character. (Anti James, in case it isn't clear).

So I've been thinking a lot about James Olsen and the reasons why I don't like him that have nothing to do with him getting in the way of Supercorp.

The truth is I haven't liked James Olsen since the first episode. He isn't James Olsen to me. I know I know they changed up the character and people often do this. But James Olsen is a canon and iconic nerd with a camera. To be honest if I didn't know who the characters were already I'd have clocked Winn as James, Winn is more James Olsen than this James is.

I disliked him almost immediately, he was basically there for a fresh start but he also took it upon himself to keep an eye on Kara. I didn't like the fact that he knew Kara's secret, something she should have control over. Imagine if she had just out right told Winn who Clark was? (OK,she and James kind of did by accident while arguing but that's beside the point). 

James also instantly started flirting with Kara, probably not what Clark had in mind. Isn't there a bro code? No sisters or only living relatives?

James and Winn both acted all put out when they realized that they both knew Kara’s secret, ‘you told him?!’ Well actually Kara told Winn, she didnt tell James. Neither one has the right to feel indignant here. Kara is allowed more than one person in the know and more than one friend.

James and Winn started a pointless rivalry over who was going to get with Kara, instead of just being the friends she needed. They both even said that Kara wouldn't be into Adam since she wasn't into either one of them!!

James didn't believe that Kara could deal with issues on her own. He told her that even Clark couldn't beat Reactron, therefore there is no way Kara could. He immediately called Clark when she was fighting him, granted he was worried, but it wasnt his place to decide Kara wasn't capable. Especially when it turns out she was capable. 

Then Lucy turned up, Kara discovers this by walking in on her and James. James it turns out hadn’t exactly fully broken up with Lucy. She spent time on her career while he neglected her in favor of being up Superman’s ass. She was understandably upset about this. But he decides they should give it another try! He completely forgets that he had been leading Kara on from the moment he set eyes on her. Now his ‘sort of ex’ turns up and Kara is a distant memory. Or is she? James decides that he is still going to give Kara longing looks, which isnt fair on either Kara or Lucy. Granted he doesn't want to take Lucy to game night, but he does and he spends time bonding with Lucy right in front of Kara, no regard for her feelings, and he gives her longing looks all night. 

James then starts neglecting Lucy in favor of running to Supergirls side whenever she needs him. Once again doing the same thing he did that caused Lucy to leave the first time. This eventually causes Lucy to leave again, and i dont blame her. Thankfully she doesnt hate Kara for it. 

I think General Lane had it right ‘You’re a glorified paparazzi’ yes, he is. That is James’s strength and he should have stuck to it. ‘You surround yourself with special people but that doesnt make YOU special’. Yes, right again General lane. James does do this, he is always surrounded by Superheroes and seems to leech off of their fame. 

Remember how into Kara James was? Up until he realized that she in fact not perfect! After the Red K incident, Kara went to see James and apologize and he didnt want anything to do with her. He realized she had faults, and women apparently cant have these, so he basically gets her to leave. Ill give him kudos for not getting with her when she came onto him at the club though. 

When Barry Allen turned up James was once again instantly jealous, even though he was the one who had basically rejected Kara. Kara wasn’t even into Barry, she was just excited to have a new friend with Super powers. ‘Jealousy! Thy name is Olsen’ Yes Winn, you are absolutely right! She is allowed friends James! 

Season 2 James isnt much better, he has less redeeming qualities. He is instantly jealous of Mon El. He tells Kara that Mon El isnt a hero, like he gets to make that decision. He basically decides to become a hero because everyone else around him was one, Clark and Kara were super heroes, Alex and Lucy worked for the DEO, Jonn was part of the DEO and has powers, Winn even got brought in to work for the DEO, oh and Mon El was instantly welcomed to be a hero and be at the DEO. I see James becoming a ‘hero’ because he was simply feeling left out. At one point he just turns up at the DEO to see Winn. How is he getting past security? Even Jonn tells him to leave and go back to being a photographer. 

James talks Winn into basically stealing materials from the DEO to make him a suit, then he gets all pissed at Winn because Winn is taking his time and he does actually have a job! He doesn't want James to get hurt with an uncompleted suit, but no, James is so demanding and yells at Winn! So desperate to be relevant. 

He does in fact nearly get himself killed and Kara is understandably pissed! Yes its not up to Kara who gets to be a hero, James uses Mon El as an example here, The difference is though that Mon El had super powers and James had a tin suit and a black belt. James uses the fact that he ‘has a black belt’ as justification for him being a hero. Sorry, but who doesn't have a back belt now?  James doesnt even train, he just gets his suit and jumps straight in. Even Kara and Alex had to train! Remember how cocky Kara was and Alex kicked her ass? Alex wasnt even allowed out in the field until months of training! (Her words) But James apparently can just jump in with no issue. I really dont get why Alex didnt put a stop to this. 

Anyone who says ‘well Batman, Green Arrow, White Canary etc’ can do it. Yeah but Batman was was trained by the League of Assassins, same as Sara. Oh and Oliver Queen trained and survived for years on a desert Island. He trains every day honing his skills. Do we ever see James train at all? 

Then we have James being instantly against Lena. No evidence against her, just her name and the fact that she is related to Lex. He is so prejudice against her, he even vows to prove to Kara that she is guilty, even though she isnt and he doesnt get to prove this. 

James is left in charge of Cat Co? Such a dumb story line, What does a photo journalist know about running a multi media empire? Honestly Kara as Cat’s assistant would know more about it that James! 

When Lena saves Cat Co, James is surprised she turns up and is staying there. What did he think was going to happen? She would pay millions of dollars for a company and not care about what was going on? ‘Thanks for saving us, i was thinking of setting up weekly meetings and carrying on running Cat Co the way i want to’. Yeah, Lena kind of shot that down didn't she?! ‘Ill be here everyday’ ‘We dont even have an office for you?’ Well she is entitled to your office now James, but she didn't take it did she?. Yes Lena set up meetings without telling James, which she probably shouldn't have, but maybe she wanted to see what was going on without his influence? Even whens she asked why Kara kept running off on the first day James was rude to her and said ‘She’s a reporter its what she does!’. 

Then suddenly we have an awkward flirtation. We have that awkward kiss,  then James and his creepy hand on Lena’s bare shoulder. Even she looks uncomfortable and squirms out of his grasp. He looks surprised and a little miffed she isnt allowing this. She calls Kara and James ex and he allows her to believe that, this simply isnt true. They had one date at Kara’s loft, then Mon El turned up and Kara forgot she ever liked James. 

James had the gall to tell Lena he knew her better than her own best friend does! I mean What the actual f**k?!! Lena steps down when she is under suspicion, somethng James cant bring himself to do later when he is involved with he COL. 

James reveals himself as Guardian, no regard for how this will effect Lena in anyway as his boss and girlfriend. He has zero respect for her as his boss. She tells him to stay the hell away from the Children of Liberty and to do the interview with Ben Lockwood. He completely disregards her and goes off to meet with some random member of an Anti Alien Nazi group. he even told her that her opinion didnt matter. No, sorry James but yes it does! If i was Lena id have sacked his ass! 

Lena still saves his ass from going to prison for a long time, all the while he insists he can handle it on his own, how? I want to know how he thought he could do that? In fact he doesn't actually do anything to fix the issue. He then throws it in Lena’s face when she tells him not to go back out as Guardian because he will be arrested. Something he doesn't care about because he is so desperate to be relevant and involved. He throws the fact she worries to much and he sorted the DA problem out, forcing her to be like ‘For Gods sake! I did that you moron!’ (i know she didnt say this). He even has the gall to be pissed she saved his ass and he isnt in prison. She tells him she loves him and throws it in her face! 

He decided the Children of Liberty decided to be given a voice for some bizarre reason?! He actually thought that by listening to them he could get to know them and change the minds. What a pig headed and dumb thing to think! Good intentions or not that was incredibly nieve and stupid.

He nearly killed Kara by blowing her up, something that could have been avoided altogether if he had just listened to everyone around him and stopped being friends with COL. But no, he knew best?

Lately, he told Lena he supported her, but he clearly didn't since he looked awkward as hell when he was sat up in bed with her asleep beside him. She gave him opportunity to tell her how he felt but instead of talking to her, he placated her and went back to bed with her!

Last episode, he told Lena their relationship was basically over if she went ahead and took the government contact. Simply because he didn't agree he was willing to end them. It's not like she was about to so something evil! But she has to live up to his impossible standards. The poor girl can't win. I'd of ended it with him to. Again, James's opinion on these things aren't really relevant, he can disagree yes, he can have an opinion. But anything he says doesn't matter, he isn't part of the DEO, he isn't a member of the government. He isn't even Guardian anymore because he's not allowed to be. All he is is a CEO of a magazine. He doesn't get a say. This is very like when he gave up on Kara for a while when she suddenly had faults and she wasn't what he envisioned. Same as Lucy, she doesn't give him the power and eveything he wants and suddenly it's over.

James should have continued to be a photographer and stuck to that. He's at his best when taking pictures. He believes he deserves to be a hero, it's 'his calling'. No it isn't, do you think it would be his 'calling' if he wasnt associated with actual heroes? Of course not. All I see a jealous, immature guy who sees those around him being heroes and being relevant to the defence of the world and he feels the need to be part of it. He could have been a different type of hero with his camera. Once he got some authority he suddenly became even more arrogant and had a sense of self entitliment. He dated his boss and suddenly thought he didn't have to listen to her. He could act on his own accord. Not one thought to what Cat Co's CEO'S affiliation with an Anti Alien Terrorist Group would do his girlfriends reputation. Poor Lena who has gone out of her way to distance herself from anti alien sentiment, James used her company for his own self gain. Then he got pissed at her when she tried to protect him, all the while thinking of him, maybe she was thinking of protecting her company to. He doesn't think of her even once. He actually pushes her so far she had to pull rank on him. Something he still had the arrogance to ignore. It's all about James and what James wants.

James is a fool who thinks he should be a hero. He wants women to be exactly what he expects them to be. If they do things he doesn't approve of he suddenly loses interest .

James should either leave, go back to Metropolis or go back to being the photographer he should be.

FYI, James does have good qualities, but they doesn't outweigh his bad ones.

[tokiro07]

There’s two DLC slots left (assuming there’s only going to be one season pass), and there’s a lot of ways it can shake out, so I’m gonna cast as wide a net as I can so I have a decent chance of being right

The one thing that we can say for absolute certain is that the two characters will either be from a Nintendo property (1st or 2nd party) or from a 3rd party property that has been on a Nintendo system before

Since this post ended up getting kind of messy, I’m going to be highlighting the ones that I think are the most likely from each developer or category

If it’s from a Nintendo property, then it’d either be:

Someone from a relatively long-standing Nintendo franchise that doesn’t have a fighter or Assist Trophy yet; the best I can think of would be the Wars franchise (probably Andy), the Excite franchise (probably Excitebiker), Chibi-Robo, Custom Robo (one of the models of Ray), or Rhythm Heaven (if Spirits are out, then probably Tibby or Marshall, but if Spirits are in, Karate Joe or the Chorus Kids)

A character from a recent game or series such as BoxBoy (Qbby) or Ever Oasis (Tethu) which have been gaining some attention lately, or upcoming Nintendo game, like Astral Chain (Akira Howard), Daemon x Machina (either the pilot or the mech), or some other game that we don’t know about yet

A character from an older Nintendo game that may have only had one or two games, like Balloon Fight, Mach Rider, StarTropics (Mike Jones), or any others that don’t have a fighter or Assist Trophy

For 3rd parties, it could be from a developer already represented in Smash:

Of the 3rd parties already in, Bandai-Namco is the only one that only has one series as opposed to two (not counting Bayonetta, technically 2nd party, or Banjo, a former 2nd party), which is especially odd given their involvement in the creation of the game itself; their new series could be Dark Souls (most likely the Chosen Undead), Klonoa, Katamari (the Prince of All Cosmos), Dig Dug (Taizo Hori), Tower of Druaga (Gil), Tekken (Heihachi), Soulcalibur (Nightmare), or the Tales franchise (probably Lloyd). Alternatively, Bandai specifically could get in on the action with either Tamagotchi (Mametchi) or its more action-oriented counterpart Digimon (probably Agumon), which both started out as Game-and-Watch style digital toys and evolved into video game franchises in their own right, though Digimon had a much greater focus on that

Sega, who technically only has one (Sonic), since Persona was an acquired property rather than an original property, could get Alex Kidd, NiGHTs, Super Monkey Ball (AiAi), or Virtua Fighter (Akira Yuki, who already has a Mii costume), though their most likely addition would probably be Puyo Puyo (most likely Arle), as despite being another acquired property (from Compile), it is most heavily associated with Sega and is currently one of their most popular franchises. They could also get other Sonic characters, like Tails or Eggman, but I’m mostly leaning towards new franchises. Also, though I don’t believe it has any real shot, Sega does make the Vocaloid rhythm games, Project Diva, so there’s a non-zero chance that we could get Miku.

Capcom, who already have Megaman and Street Fighter, could potentially get Monster Hunter (as the Rathalos is already a boss), Ace Attorney (Phoenix Wright), Devil May Cry (Dante), or possibly even Resident Evil (Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, or most likely Leon Kennedy, since he has the closest ties with Nintendo)

Konami, who already have Metal Gear and Castlevania, could potentially get Frogger (an icon of arcade gaming), Silent Hill (unlikely, but Pyramid Head is a horror icon, so it wouldn’t be too far-fetched), Mystical Ninja (Goemon), or Contra (Bill Rizer/Lance Bean). If Bomberman weren’t already an Assist Trophy, I’d say he was a strong contender as a Hudson rep, though Bonk is still in the running there

If you consider Banjo-Kazooie a Microsoft property, then it’s possible that Microsoft allowed Nintendo to use it on the condition that they get another character in as well, though this seems unlikely. If that’s the case, though, they’d most likely go with Minecraft (Steve/Alex), since as far as I know that’s the only property of their’s that’s ever been on a Nintendo platform outside of other Rare properties, though maybe that hypothetical deal would open the gates for series that have never been on a Nintendo console, like Halo (Master Chief)

Square Enix most likely won’t get another one, but they do own Taito, formerly a major studio in their own right, and thus could reasonably get Bubble Bobble (Bub/Bob) or even Space Invaders, though I’m not sure how viable that would be. For Square Enix themselves, the Mana series (likely Randi) or even Kingdom Hearts (Sora) would be good choices, but I don’t see it happening

If Nintendo wants to keep bringing in other companies, though, there are still four more of the top 10 biggest gaming companies in Japan that aren’t in yet:

Tecmo-Koei has pretty close ties with Nintendo, co-owning the Fatal Frame franchise, which already has an Assist Trophy; chances are good they’d go with Ninja Gaiden (Ryu Hayabusa), since that’s one of the iconic classic Nintendo games, though they could also potentially go with Dead or Alive (Kasumi) or Dynasty Warriors (though for the life of me I don’t know who they could go with. Lu Bu?)

Level-5, who frequently gets help from Nintendo with international publishing, would most likely go with Professor Layton or Yokai Watch (likely Jibanyan), though Inazuma Eleven (Mamoru Endou) or Ni no Kuni (Oliver, Evan, or Roland) would also work in a pinch. Interestingly, Level-5 also owns Comcept, so Mighty no. 9 (Beck) is a possibility, but an exceedingly slim one

Sony, Nintendo’s most major rival, doesn’t have much to offer since most of their first party games aren’t on Nintendo systems, and their most significant viable IP, Crash Bandicoot, is currently owned by Activision, so even if Crash got in, it’s hard to say that it would be as a Sony rep. Still, Crash is a gaming icon and former mascot of Sony, which would heavily symbolize the rivalry between Sony and Nintendo even if ownership has changed hands. If being on a Nintendo system isn’t an issue, Little Big Planet (Sackboy), Sly Cooper, or God of War (Kratos) would all be excellent choices. Interestingly, everything I’ve said so far has been developed by Sony’s American or European subsidiaries. For Japanese studios, their most likely reps would probably be Ape Escape (Spike) or Gravity Rush (Kat). Sony also currently owns Q*Bert (formerly owned by Gottlieb), who would be a perfect representative of arcade gaming, though I don’t imagine Sony would pick Q*Bert over any of their original IPs if given the choice.

Marvelous, who happens to be making Daemon x Machina with Nintendo, frequently releases their games on Nintendo platforms; by far their biggest series is Story of Seasons (likely Pete with Sara as an alternate costume, though other player characters such as Mark, Pony, Toy, Claire, Henry and Holly would also work), or its spinoff, Rune Factory (likely Raguna), but Muramasa (Momohime/Kisuke) would be a fairly strong contender if only because of popularity. They also own Senran Kagura (Asuka), which got its start on Nintendo consoles and still remains there to this day. Its risque nature makes me hesitant to call it viable or likely, though that certainly didn’t stop Bayonetta, but either way Story of Seasons feels a lot more likely. There’s also Little King’s Story (Corobo), but that’s a fairly niche title, I think

More in line with Microsoft, there are also a number of particularly big Western companies with a lot of support for getting into Smash

The biggest is probably Ubisoft, who is definitely the Western company on the best terms with Nintendo; they would most likely use Rayman, especially since he’s had a trophy and a Spirit, though a Rabbid is also possible. Assassin’s Creed (probably Ezio or Altair), Prince of Persia, or even Starlink (Mason Rana) may all work, but Rayman is definitely the best bet

A representative from Bethesda, another major Western company which seems to be on at least friendly terms with Nintendo; since Bethesda owns Id, I’m inclined to say Doom (Doomslayer), though I would think that Bethesda would want to use one of their original properties, so potentially Elder Scrolls (Dovahkin). Fallout (likely Vaultboy) may work too, but that’s also an acquired property

Though mostly inactive now, Atari was once one of the pillars of the video game industry. Unfortunately, they don’t really have many iconic characters that are particularly viable, but as I’ve said in the past, the Centipede would make a really interesting fighter

Activision Blizzard doesn’t have much that’s been playable on Nintendo, though there are games from both Activision and Blizzard individually: Activision could potentially contribute Call of Duty (Private Martin?), but they did acquire Spyro and Crash from Sony, so that would probably be a better fit for Smash, though it’s hard to say if they’d use someone else’s mascot; on Blizzard’s side, Overwatch (Tracer) was recently announced to be coming to Switch, and Diablo has gotten a lot of attention from Nintendo, what with the Diablo variant Switch and the Loot Goblin amiibo, though I’m not sure who would be a viable representative

Warner Bros. Interactive doesn’t really have a ton to offer since it mostly does licensed games, but it does publish NetherRealm Studios’ Mortal Kombat (Scorpion or Sub-Zero), one of the most iconic fighting games of all time, and 5th Cell’s Scribblenauts (Maxwell). The latter certainly isn’t as iconic as Mortal Kombat in terms of video game history, but it’s at least a lot easier to associate with WB

The Tetris Company doesn’t explicitly have any characters of their own as far as I know, though Tetrominos are a surprisingly popular choice. I however propose that they could use Tee from Puyo Puyo Tetris, as he is the closest thing to a Tetris character that there is. Unfortunately he’s probably considered a Sega character since he was designed by Sonic Team, but who knows, maybe the Tetris Company co-owns him

EA has...uh...the Sims, which used to belong to Nintendo? Dr. Wright from SimCity is already an Assist Trophy, but Nintendo never lost the rights to the character, so that doesn’t really count. They don’t really have much else that’s useful. Plants vs Zombies? Need for Speed? Dragon Age...? Regardless, EA has said that they are distancing themselves from the Switch (though they immediately backtracked on that statement), which seems evident since they don’t appear to be putting the new PvZ on Switch, so it feels unlikely that they’d get any representation in Smash at all

CD Projekt Red is getting Witcher III on Switch, and people really love Geralt, so maybe? Doesn’t seem super likely, but not impossible

Take-Two Interactive has GTA and LA Noire, but I’m not sure if those are viable

Epic Games has Fortnite which...I guess could just have eight different outfits? I don’t know anything about Fortnite

Some smaller Japanese studios (smaller than the top 10, not necessarily indie) may also be decent choices, since they have games with enough history to warrant being in Smash:

SNK has King of Fighters/Fatal Fury (Terry Bogard or Mai Shiranui) and Metal Slug (Marco/Tarma). SNK has officially gotten Fatal Fury’s Terry in Smash, seemingly to represent the Neo Geo system, which honestly I should have considered would make SNK a stronger contender

Cooking Mama Limited has...Cooking Mama

Nippon Ichi Software has Disgaea (Laharl)

ArcSystem Works has BlazBlue (Ragna), Guilty Gear (Sol Badguy), and iconic beat-em-up series Double Dragon (Billy/Jimmy Lee) since acquiring Technos Japan from Data East

Grasshopper Manufacture has No More Heroes (Travis Touchdown), which has had pretty much its entire history on Nintendo systems

Natsume is probably the least likely of this entire post, but they have what is currently called Harvest Moon (Farmer?) and their more well known original title, Medabots (Metabee or Rokusho) which is surprisingly still going

And of course, there’s the indies, both Japanese and Western:

Nicalis currently has the rights to indie forerunner Cave Story (Quote), and are the current publishers of classic SNES series Umihara Kawase, but the real star for them is definitely Cave Story

WayForward’s Shantae is already a Spirit in Smash, so of indies, I think she has the best bet, but only if Spirits don’t preclude fighter status

Not technically indie, but Inti Creates broke off from Capcom several years ago and released Azure Striker Gunvolt (Gunvolt) before teaming up with various indie developers to help them with their projects, so I’m gonna go ahead and count them. They also have Gal*Gun (Ekoro), Dragon: Marked for Death (likely Empress) and now have the rights to Blaster Master (Jason) from Sunsoft. If they only have the license and the rights still belong to Sunsoft though, then chalk Sunsoft and Blaster Master up in the smaller studios category above

Toby Fox’s Undertale (Frisk) has a lot of demand, so it only seems fair to put it on this list

For the sake of acknowledgment, Yacht Club’s Shovel Knight is the only indie to have an Assist Trophy, so while I doubt Shovel Knight is going to be in the DLC, he could come up in a future Smash

Devolver Digital is getting pretty big lately and has a ton to offer, and with their flagship series Hotline Miami (Jacket) confirmed to be coming to Switch, their chances have certainly improved. The Messenger and Enter the Gungeon would both work too, but Hotline Miami is definitely the go-to for Devolver

Gears for Breakfast’s A Hat in Time (Hat Kid) is the latest indie darling making the rounds, and with its imminent release on Switch, its chances have only gone up

Similarly, Team Cherry’s Hollow Knight is gaining a lot of traction, to the point that its sequel had its own segment at E3 this year

Brace Yourself Games’ Crypt of the Necrodancer (Cadence) has a crossover with Legend of Zelda, an honor that I don’t believe I’ve ever seen an indie game get from Nintendo before

Choice Provisions’ Bit.Trip (CommanderVideo) had a trophy in Smash 4, making it the first indie to be acknowledged in Smash, although CommanderVideo did not receive a Spirit in Ultimate. They’re also the current publishers of Bubsy, which...I would hope doesn’t get in

Edmund McMillen has at least two successful indies, Super Meat Boy and Binding of Isaac, and while I don’t think either of them will make it, I felt that they were at least worth mentioning

StudioMDHR’s Cuphead is on Switch and ostensibly getting a physical release soon, and from what I’ve seen is one of the most hotly requested indies for Smash

Similarly to Cave Story, Kikiyama’s Yume Nikki (Madotsuki) was wildly influential for the indie scene and would be very interesting, though highly unlikely, for Smash

Speaking of influential indies, Team Shanghai Alice’s Touhou Project (Reimu Hakurei) is one that I see a fair bit of clamor for, especially now that it’s getting console games

Supergiant Games’ Bastion (the Kid) is yet another influential indie game, and also interestingly enough was published by Warner Bros. Interactive, so if Mortal Kombat doesn’t work out, this is another good option

And of course, how could I forget Matt Makes Games’ Celeste (Madeline), a game with tremendous pull by fans to get into Smash

If I think of any I missed that I think have a decent chance, I’ll add them in later

[heeydolan]

Marry Me {G.D.}

Summary: An invitation to Grayson’s wedding wouldn’t be triggering so many feelings for Y/N if he were marrying her. Still, she attends the event but quickly realizes how hard it will be to hold back emotions once the day arrives.

A/N: I’ve seen a ton of writings based off of the song Marry Me by Thomas Rhett but I decided to put a twist on it! So that is what this imagine is inspired by! ; )

Warnings: N/A

WC: 2.9k

masterlist

Y/C = Your City

August 3, 2020

It has only been about 3 years since Grayson and I decided to go our separate ways.

Our romantic relationship had ended but we mutually agreed to continue to be friends.

I knew in my heart I would always love him but I never knew missing him would never stop.

We met in January of 2016. Soon after his wisdom teeth video came out, I told him how I felt about him and made sure he knew he was more than good enough. We broke up in early December of 2017. Our schedules were getting too hard to sync with each other. Him traveling between New York for TRL and LA for YouTube put a toll on us. My schooling, work, and family & friends all being in Y/C made it hard for me to pick up and visit him.

Even after the breakup, we continued talking almost everyday through texting, snapchat, or quick FaceTime calls. It was so obvious we were still so in love with each other.

That is until almost a year later when he began dating Sara Bradley. The FaceTimes stopped, the random 'how was your day' texts were not received anymore, and the snapchats were slim to none. I understood, though.

I had found a boyfriend and we dated for about a year. I eventually broke up with him before we got any deeper into our relationship. I had unconsciously been comparing him to Grayson with everything he did so I ended it when I accepted the fact I was still hung up on Grayson. It wasn't fair of me to drag him along and basically treat him as a rebound.

I open one of the white envelopes I had just taken out of my mailbox and my heart drops as I read the invitation inside.

Please Join Us For The

Wedding of

Sara Bradley & Grayson Dolan

as we celebrate their joining as one.

September 12, 2020 @ 3 o'clock pm

417 County Rd 513, Califon, NJ

I sit the invitation down on the island in my kitchen. I let a tear slip from my eye as I continue to stare at it and think about how I always hoped we would find our way back to each other.

He is my person.

Now there's no way for me to get him back.

- - -

September 12, 2020

I take one last glance at myself in the full body mirror before turning in my heels and walking out of the hotel room.

When I reach my rental car sitting in the parking deck, I slide in. I feel my heart break a little more as I spot the wedding gift I brought for the soon-to-be newly weds sitting in the passenger seat. I wrapped it in a t-shirt I had kept of Grayson's. I figure now is a good time to return it since it wouldn't be appropriate for me to continue holding on to it.

-Flashback-

"Is that my shirt?" Grayson asks me through our FaceTime call. I had been wearing it this whole hour we've been on the phone and he just now noticed.

I giggle and shrug my shoulders, "Yeah, it is."

"Looks good on you," he looks down awkwardly, "guess I have to steal it back next time I see you." We have been broken up for about six months now and I have no plans on returning this shirt.

"I'm going to conveniently forget to ever give it back to you."

-End of Flashback-

I slowly walk up to the gift table and set mine down. I take a quick glance at the picture of Grayson and Sara that is on display. I quickly turn around to walk towards one of the waiters carrying a tray of full wine glasses.

"Wine ma'am?" He grabs a glass and pushes it in my direction while he mumbles a description of it.

"Thank you." I take it and sip at it as he walks away.

"Y/N!" I hear a familiar voice call. I look to the direction the voice came from and immediately see Ethan walking towards me.

"Hey E!" I grow the first real smile since the day I got the wedding invitation. He pulls me into a hug and I notice how much his scent smells like Grayson used to.

"Are you here with anyone?" He looks around me, trying to find someone who came with me, but fails.

"No, I flew out alone." I take another sip of my wine and notice the glass is quickly beginning to empty.

"So are you still living in Y/C?" He questions.

"Yes, I am." I chuckle out. 

Ethan's phone begins to ring, "It's Gray, I better go tend to the little drama queen. I'll find you during the reception though!" He quickly says as he is walking away.

"Sounds good, but you're still the drama queen Ethan!"

"No way! I've never been a drama queen!" I watch as Ethan disappears into a room nearby then I focus my attention on the rest of the people here.

Half of them I recognize as family and friends of Grayson that I had met when we were together. The other half I assume are guests of Sara.

A couple people come up to me and greet me, letting me know it's nice to see me after so long.

"Y/N is that you? Wow I haven't seen you in 3 years!" I hear a voice behind me.

"Lisa! Hi, yeah! It's been a while." I pull her into a hug then turn to Sean who is standing by her side.

"How are you?" He asks as I hug him.

"I'm surprisingly good." I lie, "are you guys doing ok? Today's a big day for y'all too!"

"Oh, well," Sean begins, "we, uh–" Lisa cuts him off.

"–we're happy Grayson's happy." she says with a little uncertainty in her voice. "But hey, it was really good to see you, sweetie. We're going to take our seats now. It's about to start."

We say our goodbyes and I watch as they walk towards the double doors that lead to where the ceremony is being held.

"That's who he should be marrying." I hear Sean whisper to his wife. I see her nod her head as if she's agreeing. I lightly smile to myself then I decide to walk in, too.

I take a seat in the back row. Time seems to be going by so slow as I wait for the wedding to begin.

I start to think I should go find Grayson and just tell him how I feel. Lay it all out with no regrets. As much as I want to, I just know I can't put him in that position. I can't be the reason this day is messed up. If he had second thoughts because of me, I'm sure he wouldn't have went through with this.

Finally, the wedding is beginning. Grayson is standing at the alter waiting for his bride to walk through the doors and straight to him.

Once the music starts, the double doors open. A train of bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down the aisle. This includes Cameron as a bridesmaid and Ethan as the best man.

I begin to wonder if Grayson even knows I'm here. I try not to look up at him too much due to the fact I don't want to know if he's looking at me or not.

Sara begins walking down the aisle with her dad. She looks gorgeous and that makes my heart break into even smaller pieces than they were before.

I quickly turn my focus on Grayson. His eyes are glued on his bride as she slowly walks towards him. He has a slight grin on his face but besides that he is completely frozen in place. I assume this is due to the fact he knows mostly everyone is staring at either him or the girl he's about to marry.

The officiant begins the wedding. I tune out everything and get lost in my thoughts. I feel a tear sneak out of my eye and I quickly wipe it away. I try to focus back on the event occurring in front of me but realize I'm too lost in my thoughts about Grayson that it's practically impossible.

The tears begin to silently pour out of my eyes and with that I know I have to get out of here. I walk towards the closest exit and quickly open it to escape.

I don't even worry about the door and if it slams shut or not– which it does– I just run. I run to my rental car and I get in as quickly as I can.

I make my way towards the only place I know how to get to in New Jersey without a GPS.

Grayson's P.O.V.

I call Ethan as I stand in the dressing room alone. He doesn't answer but seconds after I end the call, he's walking into the room with me.

"What's up bro?" Ethan questions me as he shuts the door. The voices of guests from the other side of the wall quickly dim down.

"I can't get this stupid tie." I reply with anger. I fiddle with it for a few more seconds until Ethan makes his way over to help.

"Chill, I got it." He quickly fixes it with no problem and I take a seat, putting my face in my hands. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not but," he pauses and I look up, "she's here bro, alone."

My heart completely drops with those words. I knew exactly who he was referring to as 'she'.

My love for Y/N never really went away. I started dating Sara to kind of get over Y/N. Don't get me wrong, I do love the girl, it's just different when it comes to Y/N. Once Y/N got a boyfriend, it was obvious she was over me. Things with Sara went on, day by day, and eventually I asked her to marry me.

Ethan saw straight through it, though. That's why he told me Y/N was here. That's why he told me she was here alone.

"Ethan," I begin, "I love her so much and I miss her more than anything in this world. I can't–" I'm cut off by the door opening. Luckily, it's just my sister.

"Hey, Gray," Cameron peeks in, "this is from Sara." She extends her arm out and hands Ethan a box. I stand up and start pulling at my hair, pacing the room.

"I didn't get her anything, shit."

"She said you would say that," Cameron simply says, "she said not to worry about it." And with that she shuts the door and is gone.

Ethan hands me the box and I open it. I pull out the brand new rolex watch. It has a tag on it that reads "See you at 3:00. Xo, Sara."

I pull out the piece of notebook paper that is also in the box.

It reads:

Graybear,

     Today is the day you finally make me your wife and I make you my husband. You are the man of my dreams and I couldn't have picked a better partner for the rest of my life. I'll keep this short so you can finish getting ready, but I love you. Thank you for being perfect.

      Xoxo,

          Sara (almost) Dolan

I sit the paper down on the table and put the watch back in the box.

"You good?" Ethan asks.

"I–I–"

"–Grayson, we're ready for you." The officiant cuts me off by opening the door.

I gather myself and walk to my spot on the stage. Tons of people are here, fulfilling Sara's dream of having a huge wedding. The seats are completely full, familiar faces and some not so much. But there is one face I see that begins to change my mind about everything.

Y/N.

I don't stare at her due to the fact there are a lot of eyes on me but I do keep thinking about her.

Like Ethan said, she is here alone. I could just run up to her now and kiss her and profess my love for the girl. But what if she does have a boyfriend? And what if she's over me?

My thoughts are interrupted by the music beginning to play. I watch as everyone walks down the aisle, my eyes darting back and forth between them and Y/N.

God she's beautiful.

Once Sara is in view, I keep my eyes on her. I force a smile on my face but for the life of me, I can't move and I can't smile any bigger than this creepy smirk.

That's when I start to wonder. Why am I going through with this? Why am I standing here waiting for someone who doesn't even compare to the girl I want to be with?

But still, I do nothing to stop this. It's like my body won't let me.

Sara and her father, now standing in front of me, hug as he gives her away to me. She steps up on the stage and takes both of my hands.

With everything in me, I keep eye contact with her. It seems to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but I assume it's because Y/N is sitting on the other side of the room.

When I was with her, I could never stop staring at her. I took every chance I could to soak up her beauty.

I hear a door slam and I unconsciously look to the exact spot Y/N is.

She's gone.

I force my attention back on Sara and listen to the preacher.

"Now, do you, Grayson Bailey Dolan, take Sara Grace Bradley to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in–"

"I can't." I hear myself say.

"What was that?" The officiant questions my words.

"Graybear?" Sara squeaks out, obviously on the verge of tears.

"I can't marry you." I pull my hands away from her, "I'm sorry." And with that I begin running to the place I knew Y/N would be.

Y/N P.O.V.

I take a seat in a booth towards the back of the small diner, my back facing the door.

"I haven't seen you here in a while." The familiar waitress walks up to me. "I heard that Dolan boy you were always with is getting married today. I always thought it would be to you." I give her a small smirk but look back down at the menu.

"I'll just take a coffee, please."

"Coming right up sweat heart." She walks away but quickly returns with my cup of coffee.

I sit here and just think.

On a scale from 1-10, how stupid am I for showing up here? What made me think I could sit through Grayson's wedding and think it wouldn't rip my heart out?

"It's you." I hear a voice behind me, "It's always been you, Y/N." I slowly turn around, not knowing if the out of breath man is who I think it is or if I’m just completely losing it.

As soon as our eyes met, I jumped out of the booth and wrapped him in a hug.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be getting married right now?" I question, tears falling from my eyes for the billionth time today. He pulls away from my embrace and begins to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

Holding my face in his hands, he speaks, "No, I shouldn't be getting married right now. Not to her. Not to anyone unless it's you, Y/N. I love you. I've loved you since the day I met you in the airport and I loved you more when you told me I would always be good enough for you. My love grew for you the day I officially asked you to be my girlfriend when we were watching that stupid movie in the basement at the old house." We both chuckle, tears still falling down my face, "The day we broke up, believe it or not, my love grew for you then. I knew it wasn't what I wanted but we were stuck in an unhealthy cycle we just had to get out of. Seeing you in a relationship made me love you more but at that point I knew I would never have you again. I thought you moved on, found someone better. Someone who had time to give you. Trying to love Sara made me love you more. She never has and never will be able to compare to you or the love I have for you. You, Y/N, are the one for me. The one I want– no, need– to be with."

"Grayson–" He cuts me off by pulling my lips to his. I wrap my arms around his neck and he wraps his around my back, picking me up off the ground.

We hear cheers from the waitresses and the other few customers in the small diner. I smile into the kiss and pull away, looking into his gorgeous eyes.

I have missed this, him, us more than anything in the world.

"I love you, too, Gray." I whisper against his lips.

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.” 

[mentalcurls]

1. Sembri una pu***na

So I started the all-Skam Italia rewatch last Sunday and it turns out I have a lot to say about it. Like, four pages on Word of stuff to say. It took me three days to get evrything out and make it readable. So here, for you reading pleasure, my thoughts on ep.1 season 1 “Sembri una pu***ana”. There’s some kind of heavy stuff and I draw some parallels to my personal experience, since I was, unce upon a time, a teenager and a student at the same school all the highschoolers in SkamIT attend, and I’m also beginning to do the Bechdel test on the episodes!

The montage at the beginning is really powerful when you link the images from Giovanni and Eva’s class’s time at the Succursale to Gio’s essay, that Eva’s reading in the background, in particular the first part: LudoBesse is basically telling us how much of a waste Eva thinks her and Laura’s friendship is to Laura now

Something else about Gio’s essay (as someone who attended classico): it’s a YES from me because criticizing liceo classico is peak classico culture, it’s a HELL NO because classico is actually the best school in the world and I sincerely hope that if anyone else but himself said/wrote that kind of stuff about his school Gio would be at their throats

Eva has that “seeing someone outside the school gates and static fills your ears” moment just like Marti when he sees Niccolò for the first time! Hers is of course with Laura and Sara, who are with... Silvia and Fede! I like that they showed us a bit of this friendship that we didn’t really get to see in the og.

Martino and that iconic first “A zozzoni!” ❤️

Marti and Gio are competing for who got the best grades in the History test and I have a lot to say about this: we know Gio has really high grades (we are told he has an average of 9/10 in Latin and he got 8,5 in History) and that thing he does, bragging about it with his friend, the friendly competition between them, the actual talking about his grades without worrying who’s listening to him? That shit wouldn’t have flied for me, a once-upon-a-time student of liceo classico with an average of 8/10 in Latin, 8/10 in Ancient Greek and 9/10 in History and in part it was because I didn’t have the best classmates, but for the most part I couldn’t have done that because I am a girl (and my friends and classmates were 98% female)

girls are socialized to be humble about accomplishments, first and foremost, to avoid bragging AND humblebragging as well, and to always care about other people and their feelings; basically, whenever the topic of marks and grades came up while I was in high school, I had to try my best to avoid disclosing my own; if they were brought up directly, say them as dispassionately as possible and then try to change topic; I had be conscious of the fact I was talking someone who had much worse grades than me most of the time, so I had to keep into mind their experience of finding things I found doable (like translating from Latin) extremely hard, of disliking subjects I enjoyed (and most of the time the professor who taught them too, especially when they’d recently gotten a bad mark) and of being frustrated by their grades. I could never have competed with any of my friends about who got the highest marks (most of the time there was actually a sort of “gallows humor” competition over who got the lowest). I couldn’t show I was happy about my good grades, because I’d get negative comments from my friends (yes, even close friends, people I get on with and love to this day) who would dismiss my accomplishment as obvious, something that came easily to me because I was a nerd (the translation in Italian is “secchiona” and it doesn’t have any of the “cute” connotations pop culture gave its English counterpart) and something I shouldn’t “show off”. On top of that, if something was hard for me, it was whatever and what right did I have to complain when I had such high grades anyways, it wouldn’t be a problem in the long run.

So yeah, Martino and Giovanni, right now I kind of hate you for not having to take on any emotional labour in these kind of situations and society for socializing males and females in different ways when it comes to accomplishments and for accepting different behaviours from boys and girls.

QED Gio and Marti turn to Eva and ask her about her mark, she’s reticent but they get an answer out of her (that is not even the truth) and they mock her for it. Yes it’s all fun and games but Eva’s mark is really bad compared to Giovanni’s and Martino’s (especially her real mark) and grades are important for teens, no matter how much they deny it, if nothing else then because they influence their relationship with their parents

you can see Eva is hurt by their careless mocking, by Gio’s fake attempt at placating with “stuff she’s good at” (among which is re-heating pre-cooked food which is at the same time a way to have her “stay in the kitchen” and not even be able to properly cook) and by the way he and Marti underestimate her and laugh at her in the following exchange, when Marti shushes her and she calls him “asshole” with that annoyed face. It’s silly, “loving” mockery but it affects people anyways and it shows a lack of empathy only guys are allowed. She’s expected to take it with good grace (and this takes additional emotional labour) because it’s just for fun and they’re friends and they don’t mean it, but it’s not fair

“There are no secrets in a couple, but there aren’t between friends either.” THE WAY MARTINO PUTS HIMSELF ON THE SAME LEVEL AS EVA in Giovanni’s life, straight away! This boy. And Gio agrees! That shit must’ve been so frustrating, poor Eva.

This conversation  between Gio, Eva and Marti: G: Today we’re going to Elia’s place to study. E: Oh, so that’s what you’re calling it now, studying. M: Oh c’mon, 6 minus, shhh. is the beginning of the reoccurring dynamic between them in the season that will make Eva paranoid and will bring her to confronting Laura and to cheating aka Giovanni keeping a secret, lying to Eva about where he goes and what he does, Martino enabling him by misdirecting or distracting her or Gio doing it himself, then either or both the guys calling her crazy or paranoid for doubting their words. You know what’s that? It’s called gaslighting.

[Gaslighting means manipulating a person by psychological means into questioning his or her own sanity. It’s the same technique that, according to some of his critics, Donald Trump used to get gain traction with voters (see Trump giving “alternative facts” and dubbing the media that fact checked and corrected him “fake news”).]

[I’M NOT SAYING THAT GIOVANNI IS THE SAME AS TRUMP, I DON’T THINK THEY’RE THE SAME, I only want to present an example of how this form of psychological manipulation is an actual thing in the real word and is really effective and dangerous.]

I am aware that Giovanni is just a dumb teenager trying to hide his weed habit from his girlfriend, that Martino is just being a good bro and covering for his best friend, that they’re doing this without any malicious intent towards Eva and that she’s insecure all by herself. Still, gaslighting is not a behaviour our societies should excuse, especially because it’s usually practiced by the usual suspects over women and minorities. I’d never seen it pointed out in the context of Skam Italia so I thought I’d bring it up, especially in light of S2 and of the “unproblematic” label Gio’s been given. He’s not perfect, he does shitty stuff too, then afterwards he simply grows up and becomes better. Let’s not forget about it and celebrate the person he’s become.

Case in point is the whole 1.2 Online clip. This is conversation between Eva and Gio: G: My battery died. E: But you were on-line. G: No, I wasn’t, my phone died a couple of hours ago. E: But I saw you. G: Eva, I don’t know how it happened. There must be something wrong with my phone, I don’t know. Sometimes I see you online and you’re not, too. I mean, everyone knows it happens. We can Google it if you want. E: No, it’s okay. And where were you? G: At Elia’s. E: Till now? G: Yeah. E: That’s weird. I talked to Martino earlier and he said you guys left a while ago. G: Eva, what’s wrong? Martino left earlier and I stayed till now. What, you don’t believe? Don’t you trust me? Are you insane, uh? [G kisses E] Everything’s alright. Little koala? Little koala always works. [G carries E to her room, then they have sex.] Giovanni lies about his phone being dead, then tells Eva that her seeing him online is impossible or a fluke, that everyone knows those kind of flukes happen, then lies again about being at Elia, when she tries to expose him he adjusts and starts questioning why she doesn’t believe him, finally calling her crazy and distracting her with kisses and sex. This is gaslighting.

(I had actual chills as I watched the scene again and typed this.)

Those theatre kids are so awkward, but quoting weird passages from greek/latin/italian poetry by heart is peak liceo classico culture

unsupportive boyfriend Gio shows up again when Eva suggest they go to the Easter party: his first reaction is “What? Why? You don’t even like that”, so savage, but fair Eva reminds him he’s actually a loser who, at 16, plays card to have fun with his friends like a 60 year old

Gio is being an asshole, he only considers going with Eva’s suggestion in exchange for something, then guilts her into accepting his “deal” bringing up Marti’s difficult family situation and her grades, implicitly, by promising to volunteer for the philosophy oral test, plus he’s rude and insensitive af because he brings up her inviting a friends when he knows fully well that when they cheated on Laura she got completely cut off

this will show up again, but let me just start to say it in the first episode: how unfair is it for Eva to be suffering most of the consequences in her life for getting together with her best friend’s boyfriend, when Giovanni faces no consequences that we know of for cheating on his girlfrien? And how unfair it must feel, deep deep down, to Eva

then, when she agrees, he takes back his side of the deal and Eva has to say it’s fine, it’s nothing because he says sorry and that’s socialization kicking in, telling her not to be difficult, not to be needy and not to complain cause that’s annoying and girls guys want to date are not any of those things; honestly, the emotional labour Eva has to go through

that getting ready montage, Eva really goes full on revenge mode like Lady D and she’s fully feeling her oats

the first dress Eva tries on is the same we saw Laura wearing at the party, but Eva’s red while Laura’s blue: I put all my money o it being a dress they bought together and on it being kind of their go-to dress, Eva thought about wearing it to remind Laura of their friendship but in the end decided it would only make things harder

oh, the conversation with Laura at the bar. God, if the situation is this tense can you imagine being in the same class as her and as Gio six hours a day everyday? We’ve talked about how shit it must have felt for Niccolò to be in the same class as Marco Covitti in S2, but Eva’s situation is awful too. I wonder how much of that factors in her bad grades and troubles with school

how more people don’t ship Italian Evanora is beyond me, have you seen this interaction?

on the other hand, I wonder how much Eleonora thought about it later, about how she must have come on too strong, about how maybe Eva thought she was weird or hitting on her and how much that weighed on Eleonora not reaching out first again, cause she makes a face like she regrets her life the minute Eva walks away

it breaks my heart, honestly: Eva has just been told she’s a whore by someone she once considered a friend, but when she finds this person’s new friend, who she doesn’t know, crying in the bathroom she doesn’t bat an eyelash, reassures her and tries her best to help her (so much emotional labour that women “naturally” take on themselves because we’re taught to be empathetic and caretakers even when we’re ourselves in distress)

one question: if Federico Canegallo is as popular as the Villa crew seems to be, how the hell does nobody know him when Eva is looking for “Fede”? Besides, Silvia doesn’t even react to the fact that he’s a friend of Edoardo’s when she sees him in the bathroom!

the interaction between the two Fedes kills me in every version

ok fuck you Silvia for not even saying thanks for trying and looking at Eva like she’s a decerebrate

Bechdel test: the episodes passes the test because of the conversations between Eva and Laura (nice 😑), Eva and Eleonora (though they’re mostly talking shit about other girls, so still not very good) and Eva and Silvia (though we actually don’t know her name yet at this point, we can only guess it from context, so it’s borderline). So this is cute.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[prettylittleliarsxxxx]

So long, Rosewood -- and hello, Beacon Heights!

Now that Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists is officially heading to Freeform for a 10-episode first season, we've been dying to know how this next PLL chapter starring Mona (Janel Parrish) and Ali (Sasha Pieterse) is going to unfold.

To get the inside scoop, ET recently sat down with creator Marlene King at the ATX Television Festival in Austin, Texas, and now we have absolutely everything fans need to know before tuning into PLL: The Perfectionists. From checking in on Emily and Alison's rumored relationship woes to asking about Mona's Parisian dollhouse and discovering what Spencer and Toby are up to  -- (Spoiler alert: They're happy!)  -- only ET is spilling the exclusive spinoff secrets.

ET: Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists is officially happening! How are you feeling right now knowing that the Pretty Little Liars story will continue on?

Marlene King: I'm so excited! The challenge for me was coming up with a story that paid homage to PLL, that really honored the brand, but yet felt really new. [It’s] a brand-new show with brand-new stories and I think we did a pretty good job of pulling that off.

Talk to us about Beacon Heights -- how is this town different from Rosewood?

Well, Beacon Heights is very different from Rosewood. PLL was shot almost entirely as a Warner Bros. backlot show, which most fans already know, but this pilot and the show is going to be shot in and outside of Portland, Oregon. We're being true to [The Perfectionists] books. They take place in the Pacific Northwest in Beacon Heights, so that's our new world.

This book is inspired by another book series from Pretty Little Liars author Sara Shepard called The Perfectionists -- how much are you drawing upon this source material and then infusing it into this new show?

Well, I don’t want it to be a spoiler for people who haven’t read the books yet, but the books have a twist in them that would be kind of impossible to pull off on a TV show. So I think it was great inspiration for the show, but we kind of go off [book] a little bit sooner rather than later -- unlike with PLL, which I think we were really true to the first four books.

In the 30-second teaser for PLL: The Perfectionists, we discover that Ali is moving to a new town, and it looks like she’s starting a new chapter in her life. Can you explain a little bit about why she’s moving?

Well, again, I don’t want it to be a spoiler because we do address that in the pilot, but she and Mona have a conversation about that and we understand why she's making this journey. It's a personal journey for her and there's something that she has to accomplish, I think, for her own sense of self. You'll hear about that right away in the pilot story.

A lot of fans out there are very worried that Ali is going off on this journey and that Emily is not seen in this promo. Should Emison fans be worried about their relationship?

Well, you know, the challenge of this [is that] the starting point [of the show] was who wants to do it? Who wants to really be a part of this new show? And the original four Pretty Little Liars were all ready to go do new things -- that’s just sort of the way the world works. So my challenge then, as the creator of this new show, was to honor Emison's relationship and continue to honor it as we launch this new story. It was a challenge, and I hope we've done the best job possible of honoring what we know is their truth.

You're still close with the original PLL cast — have you talked to Shay Mitchell? Is it still a possibility that we could see Emily on this show?

MK: I think everything is possible. I think our OG PLLs are really supportive of this show and they're really supportive of Sasha and Janel and me and our new cast, and I think everything is possible.

Will we see Alison and Emily’s twin babies in The Perfectionists?

You will see the twins, yeah. They’re a little older now. I think they're toddlers now. They’re, like, maybe 3 [years old].

So does that mean we’re getting a little bit of a time jump at the beginning of this show?

I think it's almost a real-time time jump. From the time that we ended PLL, which was a year ago, to the time this show will premiere, it's sort of real-time.

Let's talk about Ali and Mona -- two of my favorite characters are going to get to interact a lot more. How would you describe their dynamic at the beginning of this new series?

Well, Alison is surprised to see Mona -- you can see that from the sizzle reel when she stops by for pie. Mona is Mona. You never really know whether you can trust her or not, and that continues to be her truth in this new story.

When we last saw Mona in the Pretty Little Liars series finale, she was playing with her living dolls, Alex and Mary Drake, and keeping them captive. Will we get the answer of whether or not those women are still stuck in Mona’s Parisian dollhouse?

You definitely will get that answer in a very cheeky Mona way.

I loved Mona because she was so fierce and she never needed a man -- or a woman -- to define her, but are we see going to see her be in a relationship in this new show?

Yes, I think it's her turn, as an actress and as a character, for us to have a lot more time to spend with her and really get to know Mona better than we already do.

So that sounds like we could definitely get a love interest for Mona. Can you tease anything about this person that Mona will be interacting with?

I cannot, [but] give me a couple more weeks in the writers' room and then I can give you some more information.

We also have Sofia Carson coming into the show playing Ava, who I know has a lot of secrets. What type of secrets could she be hiding? What should fans know about her?

Sofia's character Ava has, in my opinion, one of my favorite [secrets]. Everybody has a secret going into this new show, and her secret is really one of my favorites. I don’t want to give up what it is, but it's pretty awesome and it's pretty cool and she's kind of a fierce badass -- in her own Sofia way because Sofia is so adorable.

I love the fact that we have the most badass girls all coming together in Beacon Heights. How would you describe their dynamic together?

Well, we find out in the pilot [that Ali] is coming to Beacon Heights because she got a job at Beacon Heights University. She’s a role model in some ways for these younger kids, and [Ava] is a student at Beacon Heights. I don’t want to give up too much, [but] it’s all good, you'll see.

We recently caught up with Troian Bellisario and she expressed that you two have already had conversations about her possibly directing a future episode of The Perfectionists. Is that something that could happen?

We would love it. Yes, I talked to Troian about that, and actually Ashley Benson is really interested in directing an episode too, so that would be great if we could figure out all that stuff. She's a baller. [All of the OG PLLs] are smart -- they all could direct if they want.

Lucy Hale also told us that she's so excited for the show and would be interested in having Aria making an appearance in Beacon Heights. Could any of the OG PLLs make a cameo in the show?

Always. They’re always welcome. We would always want to find a place for them. I think there's just such a seamless sort of transition to this new show that it's always possible for people to just come in and sort of drop in and visit us.

Looking back at the series finale of Pretty Little Liars, a few fans were upset that Spencer and Toby’s ending was left a bit more open-ended than the other couples. You’ve expressed on Twitter that you’d like to write more scenes for the fans for Spencer and Toby’s future. Do you have any Spoby updates for us?

Do I have any Spoby updates? I kind of know where they are in my mind, and honestly I just haven’t had the time to sit down and write that chapter, but I still will. I'll do it.

Can you give us just a little peek into your mind?

They’re happy, I know that. They’re happy. They're living in Philadelphia; they're not living in Rosewood. Toby is helping to build housing for the homeless and Spencer is getting her law degree.

For the Pretty Little Liars fans out there who are going to tune into PLL: The Perfectionists next year, what do you want them to know before they watch this first episode?

MK: Well, they can go back and binge Pretty Little Liars, which I think a lot of people are doing right now. I just noticed on social media because of the “A” birthday or anniversary of the original airing of the show yesterday, and a lot of people seem to be going back to the show to binge. You don’t have to have watched Pretty Little Liars to enjoy The Perfectionists, but you'll find a lot of Easter eggs in the new show if you do. Just prepare for a fun new ride.

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists will premiere in 2019 on Freeform.

[dragonydreams]

The Reading Perch - Captain Canary

Title: The Reading Perch Fandom: DC's Legends of Tomorrow Rating: Teen Pairings/Characters: Sara Lance/Leonard Snart Summary: Bookstore AU. Sparks fly when literary agent Leonard finally meets bookstore owner Sara for the first time. Timeline: n/a Word Count: 3,422 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Berlanti Productions, DC Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Television. Betas: Thank you to angelskuuipo and shanachie for looking this over for me. Author's Note: Happy Birthday @stillthewordgirl!

Or read at AO3

  Leonard sighed as he drove past the "Welcome to Starling City" sign.

It wasn't that this was his least favorite place to be, but after being on the road for nearly a month, he'd give just about anything for that sign to say Central City instead.

"Lucky twenty-one," Mick said from the passenger seat.

Leonard smirked at his oldest friend and client. "You say that about every new town we go to."

"And so far, they've all been lucky," Mick said. "We've sold out at almost every book signing on this tour. Don't want to jinx us now by not calling a new city lucky."

"I'll give you that," Leonard conceded.

Sometimes he couldn't believe how lucky they'd been - and how much the tables had turned for them.

Leonard and Mick had met as kids in juvie. Mick had saved his life when a group of older boys had gone after the scrawny newbie. They'd been close ever since.

They had made a good life for themselves as criminals. Leonard was the brains and Mick was the brawn. They kept each other balanced.

What Mick had never told Leonard, was that he enjoyed writing science fiction.

Leonard knew that Mick enjoyed reading the genre - they both did - but it's quite the leap from reading to writing.

Not until one day when Mick almost shyly approached Leonard to say that he wanted out of the life. He'd written a book and it was going to be published.

Once he'd gotten over his shock, Leonard had insisted on seeing the contract to make sure that his friend wasn't getting screwed over. Then he asked to read the book.

And just like that, Leonard became Mick's agent and assistant, fully supporting this turn in their lives.

Now they were on stop twenty-one of a very successful book signing tour. Independent bookstores only, per Mick's insistence.

They checked into their hotel and, feeling a bit restless after being in the car for so long, Leonard decided to go check out the bookstore the event would be held at the next day.

The Reading Perch was an eclectic blend of cozy bookstore and pop culture mecca. While they had good sized sections for all of the genres you'd expect to see in a small bookstore, there was also an impressive graphic novel section of the store.

Interspersed with the books were displays of literary tee-shirts, bags, pillows, figurines, and even those oddly popular Funko Pop dolls.

Leonard wandered around until he found himself in front of a large display of Mick's book. He picked one up and opened to the back cover to read Mick's bio. It was as much a work of fiction as the rest of what he was holding, but thanks to a hacker he knew, no one would know about their criminal pasts.

He stood there long enough for a pretty blonde young woman to approach him.

"If you're interested in that book, the author's actually going to be here for a signing tomorrow," she said, gesturing to the poster with Mick's face on it beside the display.

Leonard looked up at her, smirk in place. He noticed her name tag and asked, "Are you Sara Lance?"

The woman looked surprised, then a little wary. "How did you know my last name?"

Leonard gestured to her name tag that bore her name and Manager beneath it before holding out his hand to her.

"I should probably introduce myself. Leonard Snart. I'm Mick Rory's agent."

Recognition filled Sara's eyes and she immediately shook his hand. "Of course! I should have recognized your voice from our calls. I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow."

"We made good time getting into town so I decided to check out the venue. I hope you don't mind."

"Not all. I can give you the two cent tour now, if you'd like," Sara offered.

Leonard carefully set down the book he'd been holding. "I'd like that very much, thank you."

For once, Leonard wasn't just putting on the act he usually had to perform when meeting the store managers at these events. He and Sara had spoken frequently over the past several months while he had been scheduling the tour. They'd had an immediate repartee from their first call and he always enjoyed checking in with her.

She was much younger than he'd imagined. He knew he was stereotyping her based on her appearance, but she gave the aura of someone who would prefer to be hiking through mountains or white water rafting rather than a person who enjoyed spending their days indoors with books.

"And this is where Mick will be," Sara said, pulling Leonard out of his thoughts.

She had led him to a nook about halfway through the store. There was a small desk with a comfortable leather desk chair for the author, and a couple of smaller desk chairs pushed against the wall, presumably for the author's entourage.

Leonard walked behind the desk and experimentally pulled on one of the drawers. Sara pulled a set of keys from a pocket and opened first that one and then the others. Inside were different colored Sharpies as well as some granola bars and gum.

"Gotta keep them locked or else the contents would keep disappearing. Learned that lesson the hard way," Sara apologized, locking the drawers again once Leonard's curiosity was satisfied.

"I like that you're so well prepared," Leonard said.

"We try to host a lot of these events to engage readers with the authors. We've learned that being prepared always comes in handy."

"As the person who would be running around to find this stuff, it is much appreciated," Leonard said.

At that moment, Leonard's stomach gave a loud rumble, reminding him that it had been a long time since they had stopped for lunch.

"Have you had dinner yet, Sara?" he asked. "Perhaps we could continue discussing the plans for tomorrow over a meal?"

Sara bit her bottom lip and glanced towards the front of the store. "I'm supposed to help with closing and get everything set up for tomorrow after that."

"What time do you close?" Leonard pressed.

"Nine o'clock," Sara said.

Leonard glanced at his watch. "It's only seven now. How is the pizza place that I passed on my way here? That should give us plenty of time to eat and have you back in time to close."

Sara whimpered. Actually whimpered. "You had to go tempting me with the best pizza in Starling," she groaned, dropping her forehead onto his chest.

"Is that a yes?" Leonard asked, knowing he'd won.

"That's a yes," Sara agreed. "Let me tell Nate that I'm leaving."

Leonard slowly walked to the front of the store, allowing himself to be distracted by the various displays on his way. Sara was waiting for him when he got there, a grin on her face.

"Enjoy what you see?" she asked, teasingly.

Leonard ran his eyes over her body and smirked. "Very much."

Sara's cheeks flushed and she quickly turned away to open the door and hurry out.

Leonard caught up to her easily. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"You didn't, not really," Sara said. "I guess I kind of deserved it. You didn't see me giving you pretty much the same look before I approached you. I wasn't expecting you to be so--"

"Old? Tall?" Leonard guessed.

"Ruggedly handsome," Sara finished.

It didn't take them long to reach the pizza place. After ordering at the counter, they found a booth and settled in to wait.

"I don't want to offend you, but I've gotta ask," Leonard started, earning him a raised eyebrow from Sara. "How did you end up working at a bookstore? You don't seem the type, and I've met a lot of bookstore managers over the past month."

Sara laughed and settled against the back of her seat. "I get that a lot. I guess you could say that it's in my genes. The bookstore was my grandmother's. When I was little, my mom used to drop me off there to hang out instead of getting a babysitter. The books were my babysitters. I found myself studying literature in school and after bumming around Europe for a while after graduation, I found myself back at the Perch. With all of Europe at my disposal, I kept finding myself in bookstores so I figured that I may as well as go home to mine."

"It's yours?" Leonard asked, surprised. Her name tag said Manager, not Owner.

"Yeah," Sara confirmed. "My grandma left it to me in her will."

"I'm sorry," Leonard said, automatically.

"I'm not," Sara said. "I mean, I'm sorry that she's gone, of course. I miss her every day; but being in that store is like having her there with me every day, too. I always expect to find her around the next bookshelf or coming out of the stockroom."

"So I should complement her on the fantastic wordplay in the store's name?" Leonard asked.

Sara's face lit up. "You get that? Most people don't. I wouldn't have pegged you for an ornithologist."

"I read the encyclopedia a lot as a child," Leonard said. No need for her to know that it was in juvie. The reading selection hadn't been all that bountiful, but there was a full encyclopedia set that someone had donated. "Starlings are perching birds."

"Guess we're both full of surprises," Sara said.

"It appears so," he agreed. He raised his bottle of water in a toast, "To many more happy surprises."

Sara tapped her bottle against his. "I certainly hope so."

Their pizza arrived and they hungrily dug in, barely talking as they devoured their first slices.

"So how did you become a literary agent?" Sara asked, once they'd satisfied their initial hunger. "I tried looking you up online, but you're practically a ghost."

"I like my privacy," Leonard said.

This was something that Hartley had warned him about. He'd asked if Leonard wanted him to create new pasts for him and Mick after wiping their records, but Leonard had said no. He didn't want to have to remember some fake history. He'd always been able to BS his way out of situations when people started asking personal questions and assumed he could do the same now. It wasn't like he usually got chatty on these stops. Usually.

"There's privacy and there's living in the dark ages," Sara said. "No Facebook, no Twitter, no LinkedIn, even."

"Cyberstalk much?" Leonard teased.

"I may have gotten a little curious after our fifth call," Sara admitted, picking at the cheese on the half-eaten slice of pizza on her plate. "I don't usually click so well with someone just on the phone."

Reluctantly, Leonard admitted, "I do have a Twitter account so that I can follow what people are saying about Mick's book. It's just not under my name."

"Is he why you became an agent?" Sara asked.

"He is," Leonard acknowledged. "We've been friends for almost as long as I can remember. He had my back growing up and since I have a better head for business, when he got a publishing contract, I became his agent. It's my turn to watch his back, now."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Sara said.

"I'm not sweet," Leonard insisted, scowling.

"You keep telling yourself that, but I now know better," Sara said, grinning.

"Don't you have a bookstore to get back to?" Leonard said, grumpily.

Glancing at her phone, Sara's eyes widened. "Shit, yes I do."

She took several bites of her pizza, polishing off the slice on her plate in seconds, causing Leonard to stare in awe. She certainly could pack it away for such a tiny woman.

"I was only joking," he finally said.

"I wasn't," Sara said, while chewing. "It's after 8:30. I really need to get back to the store."

"I hadn't realized it was getting so late," Leonard said.

"Time flies, and all that," Sara agreed, wiping her mouth and hands on several paper napkins before standing. "Walk me back?"

"It would be my pleasure," Leonard said, standing.

Leonard would have liked to have walked slowly back to the store, to extend their time together, but Sara kept a brisk pace. She was on the clock, after all.

"Are you coming in?" Sara asked, when they reached the door.

"I should probably go check on Mick," Leonard said.

The wind was blowing a lock of hair across Sara's face, and he slowly reached out to brush it off her forehead and behind her ear. The brief touch was electric and he had to force himself to step away from her.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said. "Have a good night, Sara."

"G'night, Leonard," Sara said, hurrying into the store.

He could hear her apologizing for being late, and the teasing tone of her co-worker in response.

The next day couldn't come soon enough.

~~*~~

Leonard's alarm woke him the next morning from tantalizing dreams of a certain blonde bookstore owner.

If he found himself shaving a bit more closely today, he told himself it had nothing to do with the beautiful woman he'd be seeing very soon.

Looking through his suitcase, he chose a blue dress shirt to wear with his black jeans. A gray sport coat finished off the look. He knew that Mick would be similarly dressed in blue jeans and a white dress shirt. Some variation of these outfits had become their costumes for these events.

"How's the space?" Mick asked as they settled at their table after having visited the breakfast buffet.

"It's eclectic," Leonard said. "I like it."

"This is the one with the girl you like, right?" Mick asked, causing Leonard to choke on the bite he'd just taken.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Leonard said, coughing.

"Sure you don't," Mick said, dryly. "Because you always choke when I talk about girls."

"How'd you even know about her?" Leonard asked.

Mick rolled his eyes. "Because every time you talked or got a text from her, you'd get this silly expression on your face. It doesn't take a genius to see that you're smitten."

"Since when have you used words like 'smitten'?" Leonard deflected.

"Since I became a successful, published author," Mick retorted. "She that hot?"

"Yes," Leonard reluctantly admitted, "but it's more than just her looks. I really like her."

"Mazel Tov," Mick said, taking a bite of bacon. After several bites he noticed the pained look on Leonard's face. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that she owns a bookstore in Starling City and we live in Central City; when we're not traveling for book signings," Leonard said.

Mick waved him off. "Who said we have to live in Central? More specifically, who said you have to live in Central?"

"Because Central City is our home," Leonard said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "My sister's in Central."

"Lisa travels for work almost as much as we do," Mick objected. "I don't see why we can't work from here instead of Central."

"You want to move to Starling City so that I can date a girl that you haven't even met yet?" Leonard asked, dumbfounded.

"It's not like we have office jobs or anything," Mick said with a shrug. "If you like the girl, I can support that. It's what we do. You'd do the same for me."

Leonard nodded absently. He would drop everything for Mick if he asked him to. And he wasn't even asking; Mick was offering.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Leonard said. "Sara and I haven't even been on a date."

"Didn't you have dinner last night? I'd call that a date," Mick commented.

"How did you even know that?" Leonard asked.

"You're wearing the blue shirt. The one that matches your eyes," Mick pointed out.

"What does the color of my shirt have to do with anything?" Leonard asked, taking a vicious bite of his toast.

"That's the shirt you wear when you want to impress someone," Mick said.

Leonard threw up his hands, knowing there was no way he was going to win this argument, and finished his breakfast in sullen silence. Much to Mick's amusement.

~~*~~

The signing event went off brilliantly. There was already a long line of people when they arrived at the store and Sara was there to greet them.

Mick gave Leonard a wink as he noticed how closely Sara stayed to Leonard's side; her hands fluttering around her as if she wanted to reach out and touch him, and then would have to force herself not to.

Leonard wasn't much better. Seeing Sara again had him wanting to pull her against his side and wrap an arm around her waist to hold her close. It was strange for him to crave casual, physical touch so strongly.

Sara helped Leonard keep Mick fed and hydrated, insisting on breaks once an hour for him to rest his hand.

As the event wrapped up, Mick announced that he was going back to the hotel to rest.

"Need to go soak my hand in some ice," he said, by way of explanation.

"Thanks again for choosing the Perch for your stop in Starling," Sara said, shaking his hand.

"It's been our pleasure," Mick said. "I hope to see you again soon."

"Me, too," Sara agreed, her eyes straying to Leonard.

"I'm going to stick around here and help Sara clean all this up," Leonard said, his eyes never leaving Sara.

Mick huffed out a laugh. "You got it, boss. Remember what I said."

"Go ice yourself," Leonard retorted.

After Mick left, Sara asked, "What was that about?"

"Nothing. We'd been talking about how nice it was to spend time together in person, you and me. And what the future could hold."

Sara nearly dropped the pens she'd been putting away. "Even though we live in different cities?"

"What if we didn't have to?" Leonard hesitantly asked.

Sara's face scrunched up in confusion. "But we do. You live in Central and I live here."

"What if I didn't live in Central?" Leonard pressed. "What if I lived here?"

"I can't ask you to move here for me," Sara objected. "We haven't even been on a real date!"

"That's what I told Mick when he suggested that we move here," Leonard said. "You don't want some guy you barely know to descend on your life, no matter how fun the flirtation is."

Sara reached out to grab Leonard's hand as he turned his back to her. "No, that's not it at all. Talking to you is always the highlight of my day. Meeting you yesterday was one of the best days of my life."

"Mine, too," Leonard admitted, entwining his fingers with Sara's. "So, if I stayed, you'd want to see where this flirtation can go?"

"What about the book tour?" Sara asked. "How do I know you don't have some shop owner waiting to fall madly in love with you in every city?"

"Are you saying that you've fallen madly in love with me?" Leonard teased.

"I would have to be mad to have fallen in love so quickly, wouldn't I?" Sara responded.

Leonard's breath caught. "I-- I--"

"Looks like I've rendered you speechless," Sara said, smirking.

Leonard could only nod, not wanting to ruin what was happening by putting his foot in his mouth.

"Bet I know a better way," Sara said, stepping closer to him. She rose on her toes and reaching up with her free hand, drew his face down to meet her lips.

The kiss was as perfect as Leonard could have hoped for. Kissing Sara felt like coming home.

Sara released his hand and wrapped both arms around his neck, pressing her body against his as the kiss deepened. Leonard held her against him, one hand around her waist as the other slid into her hair.

It was the catcalls from Sara's employees that finally broke them apart.

"I'll take that as a yes," Leonard said, playing with the ends of her hair.

"Yes," Sara said against his lips, drawing him into another lingering kiss.

Mick was going to spend the rest of the tour gloating about this; but as Sara snaked her tongue into his mouth, Leonard found that he didn't care. To have Sara in his arms like this would be worth all the teasing he was going to get from Mick.

He couldn't wait.

 The End

[rockbell1003]

But You Love Me Anyways

So here’s part 2 of my first snz oc fic....I still have zero idea of what I’m doing but you can read part one here  as always I hope you enjoy!

By the time we entered our room, whatever Kaito originally planned had been placed on the backburner. In just the 20 minutes it took to get here his cold symptoms seemed to worsen, consistently sniffling due to congestion setting in and the frequency of his sneezes increased too. As I stepped into the room I turned on the lights, both the main and the bathroom’s, “alright, we’ve got about 4ish hours until dinner with your friends. So let’s get you into the shower.”

Kaito raised his fist pressing it against his nose, “heptCH...ugh, sounds good.” With a shake of his head, he walked into the bathroom. I on the other hand walked over to our suitcases and grabbed him some fresh clothes to lounge in once he was finished in the shower.

“HEPCHOO...heh..hih..giTCH-uh”  I entered the bathroom, Kai already in the shower. Bent by the waist, the steam from the shower already working to relieve him of congestion. I placed his change of clothes on the toilet, “Bless you, I’m leaving your clothes on the toilet.”

Kaito peeked his head out from the sheer shower curtain, black hair plastered to his forehead and nose a darkening shade of red, “Tha-hih-nk...gh’AESHOO...ugh, snfl thangk you.” I smiled and pressed a chaste kiss on his moist lips, “I’ll leave some cold medicine on the counter.” With a nod of his head Kaito ducked back into the shower to release a whole volley of sneezes, “HAAAAESSCHEWWW!! HEPCHEWWWW!!!  Heh...heh..HEESSSSCHEWWWW!!”

A small smile tugged at my lips as I rummaged through his toiletry bag for cold medicine, “bless you!”

“he-PCH, hiih-HAESHEW...lobe you,” came the response. A wave of warmth ran through my body, goddamn this man. Finally finding what I was looking for, I left the medicine and filled the complimentary plastic cup with water from the sink. Reluctantly I left the bathroom and my sneezy man in order to change into an oversized t-shirt, that may or may not be Kaito’s. Once changed, I grab my laptop and plop myself on the bed. Scrolling through my social media, as I listened to Kaito’s sneezes.

“- heh-RRSHOO! - hhaah-RRSHOoo...HH-AASSSHHHEEEOOO”

I bit my lip, jeezus if only he knew what exactly his sneezes do to me. A few minutes pass and Kaito walks out of the bathroom, a tissue cupped around his nose with a hearty blow I can still hear some congestion. Guess the shower didn’t clear all of it, Kai lets out a sigh and crumples the used tissue. “How you feeling?” I ask adjusting my legs so he had room to sit.   

“ A liddle congested,” Kaito sniffled wetly to prove his point, “and tired but other than that I’m good.” Kaito tosses the tissue in the nearby waste basket and sits down on the area of the bed that I cleared off for him, his arms supporting him from behind. I move my laptop off my lap and scooch closer to Kaito, wrapping my arms around his and place my chin on his shoulder.

“Wanna cuddle and watch a movie?” I run my hands up and down his arm and wait for his response. With a wet sniffle Kai turns his head and places a light kiss on my forehead,“I’d love to, just led me grab the dissues.” I grin and pull away to grab my laptop and allow Kaito to get up.

I already pulled up the movie when Kaito came to join me on the bed,  “ So whad movie did you decide on?” he asked.

I gave him a teasing smile, “ Disney’s ZOMBIES”

Kaito just chuckled and plucked out a tissue, “Your Disney obsessiond has do bounds does id?”

“Nope,” I replied trying to keep my concentration on playing the movie instead of my boyfriend who was currently blowing his nose. Once the blowing stopped and I had the movie up I turn my head to Kaito, “ready?”

Kaito pulls up the covers and sniffles, “yep.”

He was already asleep by the time the first song ended. Which was one of the reasons why I chose this movie, it was one that Kai wouldn’t feel bad if he slept through. I however was absolutely invested in the new DCOM, enjoying every minute of it while Kaito snored. By the time the movie ended we had about an hour and a half until dinner with Kaito’s college friends. Slowly I climbed out of the bed, careful not to wake Kaito. Once up, I walked over to my suitcase trying to find an outfit for dinner. Sure we were just meeting up with his old college friends, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. It’s the first time I’d be meeting them, hell I still haven’t met his parents yet! So choosing the perfect outfit was essential to hide the fact that I’m a big bundle of nerves.

Since I also had no idea where we’re going to dinner, I settled on my jean skirt, dark purple floral tank pairing it with my army green button down and suede booties. Once I changed, I also redid my makeup and fixed the curly mess that I call hair.

“hept’CHOO...ugh that one hurt.”

I turn away from fixing my eyeliner in the mirror to see Kaito sitting up, rubbing his nose with his fist, “ Bless you baby.”

“Thanks,” Kai lifted his hands to rub the sleep from his eyes, “Hey, Mallory what time is it?”

I glance at my watch, “It’s 5:45, we still got time before we need to leave.”

“Mal, we’ve got about half an hour till we need to leave. Why are you getting all dressed up? It’s just dinner with Colin and Mark,” Kaito asked eyeing me as I continued to fix my makeup.

I sheepishly turn back around to face him, “I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.”

Kaito swung his legs over the edge of the bed and walked to me. Taking hold of my hands, “Why? They’re just some old college buddies.”

I look up at him, “I know but I wanna make a good impression! I want them to accept me as your girlfriend..” I trail off looking back down, realizing how dumb I must sound.

“Hey,” Kai lifted my chin with his finger, “they will love you.”

“Really?” I ask as Kaito pulled me into a hug.

“Really, and youhhihh….hih..” Kaito pressed me against him, one hand against my back and the other cupping the back of my head, “Hhh-- EEIIISSSHHHeeeoooo!!”

“Bless you,” I mumble into his shirt.

“ Thangks, snfl- as I was saying, you look gorgeous.” He pressed a kiss on top of my head before pulling away and grabbing another tissue.

“ You’re gorgeous too.”

Kaito looked up from blowing his nose, and I blush at my incorrect and not so smooth flirting skills. Slowly Kaito lowers the tissue and exposes his red raw nose, his lips quirked in that little smirky side smile I love.

“Yeah, I bet I look gorgeous with this red nose and bed head.” he joked, tossing another used tissue into the wastebasket.

“You know what I meant, buckethead.” I pouted turning back to the mirror, fiddling with my hair. I heard Kai chuckle before he snaked his hands around my waist and rests his chin on top of my head.

“ I know but look,” Kaito nudged his head to get me to look at our reflection, “ you look much prettier than me right now.” As I stared at our reflection I could see the blush rise on my cheeks.

I place my hands over his, “then go get dressed, then we can be equally pretty.” I tried to pry his hands open and off of me. Suddenly I felt Kaito’s chest rise rapidly and let my hands rest on top as his. I leaned against his chest a little more and watched him in the mirror. His eyes were now closed and his tongue peaked out of his parted lips.

“ih….heh...hePTCH” he stifled into his shoulder, reluctant to let me go. Not that I would have wanted to leave, the rise and fall of his chest and the way his abs tightened when he sneezed. Yumm just yum.

“Bless you,” I said tilting my head back.

“Thangk you Mal,” Kaito replied sniffling, almost reluctantly he moved one hand from my waist to knuckle his red nose. I break away from his grasp and stand on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek, “go get dressed, do you want more medicine?”

With me no longer in his grasp Kaito grabbed another tissue from the bedside table. After a liquid blow Kaito shook his head, as if it’ll help clear the congestion, “ yeah, I’ll take some right before we leave.”

“Sounds good,” I called as he grabbed what he was going to wear and entered the bathroom.

We were now parked outside of the restaurant, a little pub like establishment. Kaito got out and opened my door, we walked up to the restaurant together. Waiting outside were two couples, both of the men light up when they saw Kaito. So this must be Colin and Mark.

“Kai! What up man?” the shorter blonde man asked pulling Kaito into one of those ‘bro hugs’.

“Snfl haha, hey Colin.” Kaito replied smiling, he stepped away from Colin and embraced the other man, Mark.

“Hey Kaito, it’s nice to see you again.” Mark said after they broke out of their hug.

“It’s nice to see you both, let me introduce you to my girlfriend,” Kaito took my hand, “ this is Mallory.”

Both men and their significant others looked at me, I just smiled and offered my hand like my step-dad taught me, “nice to meet you.”

They all shook my hand and introduced themselves, Colin was Kaito’s roommate and Mark was his best friend. I also learned that Sara was Colin’s girlfriend and Alex was Mark’s wife.

“Shall we go in then?” Mark asked, placing a hand on Alex’s back guiding her towards the door.

We all followed suit and walked into the pub and were seated at a booth, Colin, Sara and Mark on one side while Alex, Kaito and I sat on the other side.

“So, how did you two meet?” Mark asked after we placed our order.

I looked over at Kaito to see if he was going to answer but he was turned toward me, arm raised, “HeptCHO..snfl.”

“Bless you,” I commented before answering Mark’s question, “I met Kai at a work event.”

His eyebrows raised, “Oh, so you’re a voice actor too?”

I laughed, “No, I run the forums and blog. Though I also do some other random tasks too.”

Alex leaned forward trying to see me around Kaito, “That’s so cool!”

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling a little embarrassed, “thanks.”

“heh-RRSHOO! - hhaah-RRSHOoo”

I look back at Kaito who had his face buried in his arm. I was about to bless him when Colin interrupted, “ Jeez Kai, still sneezing your head off I see, I swear living with you and listening to you sneezing was annoying,” Colin glanced over at me, “Hey Mallory is it annoying to listen to this guy sneeze all the time?”

His question and tone took me off guard, I look back at Kaito and I saw him tense and clench his jaw. I look back at Colin, “ No, but I find you making him uncomfortable annoying.”

Colin flushed at my comment but said nothing as the waitress arrived with our food. Slowly I began to regret what I said, thinking that I went too far and might have made Kai even more uncomfortable. As the waitress was placing our food on the table, I wrote “sorry” on his thigh, hoping he would get the message. Once I finished he gave my hand a squeeze, assuring me that it was okay.

The rest of the night was uneventful, we were asked more questions, mainly asking when we would be back in the San Francisco area and there were a few more stray sneezes from Kaito but other than that it was fine.

After we said our goodbyes, Kaito and I walked back to the car. As soon as I closed the door an apology ripped out of me, “ Kai, I’m soo sorry for snapping at Colin like that.”

Kaito just smiles and turns to face me, “ It’s alright but you didn’t snfl answer him.”

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, “did you want me to?”

He just shrugged, no longer looking me in the eyes. Honestly it baffled me, we’ve been together for a year and even though I haven’t explicitly said ‘I have a sneezing fetish’ I figured he had the general idea that I didn’t mind his sneezing, even liked it.

Slowly I cupped my hands around his face, “Kai, baby, you’re sneezing isn’t annoying,” he sniffled wetly, the medicine having worn off, “ in fact..” I trailed off moving to whisper in his ear, “ I love it.”

Kai pulled away so he could see me, his nose twitching, “really?”

The knowledge that I just confessed one of my biggest secrets set in and I could feel my face flush red, “ yeah, does that weird you out?”

Kaito shook his head, “ nooh-hih...iht’s...peerhi-EPCHOO….heeAACHHOO...snfl...berfect.” he gave me a silly grin while his nose wriggled trying to dispel the tickle.

Goddamnit I love this man! Unable to help myself I kiss his nose before moving down to his lips. It was sweet, but short. Kai pulled away, “ hiihh..hiih..hiiRCHOO”

Kaito raised his fist and began to knuckle his nose, “Gods, I love you.” I said watching him. Kaito stopped and lowered his fist, nose a bright and angry red.

“I lobve you doo”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #157

hey instead of lyrics, there’s a warning for a religiously offensive answer.

How many kids do you want to have?  Only too many scaly and furry ones. <3 Who’s the last person you smoked weed with?  I've never smoked it. Who is the person you have hurt the most?  Probably Mom. Who is the person that has hurt you the most?  Jason. Who was the last person who cried around you?  Mom when she found out about my cousin Brenna. What was the last thing you cried about?  Emotional conversation with Sara. What’s your current problem?  Just friendship stuff after breaking apart from Colleen again and being ignored when I've been reaching out to old friends, something I've been putting a lot of effort into lately.  I just don't get what's wrong with me/what's that damn unlikable about me that I can't make or maintain friendships. What brand of face wash do you use?  Biore.  Or I think Neutrogena if I have a pimple. Do you know anyone who owns a boat?  Dad. Did you get carded the last time you ordered an alcoholic drink?  I surprisingly didn't.  Nor did I get carded when I bought something from the liquor store for Mom and me.  Do I look 30 or something now that my hair's cut. Did your parents give you an allowance as a kid? No. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No, thankfully. Are you (or have you ever been) a vegetarian?  I am.  Took a brief break for weight loss purposes but seeing as that did nothing, I went back to it and plan on staying that way. Do you ever use Snapchat?  No. What was the last show that you watched a full episode of? The Good Doctor. Do you get your feelings hurt easily?  Yup. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get?  Coke. What’s the nickname of your home state?  The Tar Heel State. What’s the worst type of weather in your opinion?  Hot and humid. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither?  Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. Is there a dead end road near where you live?  Most likely. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought?  No. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex?  YUP. Are you at risk for any medical issues?  Heart issues run in my family, and I'm finding out if I have hypoglycemia like.  Tomorrow. Is there an upcoming concert you want to go to?  Metallica in January, desperately. Do you own a robe?  No.  Don't really need one.  I get dressed right after showering. What is your favorite mark of punctuation?  Question mark. How many deep dark secrets do you have?  I don't really keep it a secret, but I don't just happily share it either.  One. Where is your father right now?  I'd assume at work. How comfy is your bed on a scale of 1-10?  I guess like... 7? What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten?  Hot wings at BWW doused in like the... fourth-hottest sauce. Who last called you sexy?  The only one who is insane enough to call me that is Sara. Do you want any more piercings?  Collarbones when they're prominent again, more in my ears, and then if/when I lose enough weight probably lower back dermals and bellybutton. Do you believe in heaven and hell?  Not in the Christian concept, but in some manner, probably.  Certainly a heaven of some sort for the good.  I don't know about a hell, but maybe purgatory as earth-bound spirits?  I mean there's no way the evil are going to a lovely place. Which do you think you're most likely to go to?  Hopefully a heaven, but if it turns out the Christian god is real, happily to Hell because fuck him for a multitude of reasons. How will the world end?  A meteor strike seems logical.  Flooding from global warming (I don't know how much it actually would cover if all ice melted, but).  The sun dying, if Earth is lucky enough to possibly survive that long. Are you scared of the dark?  No. How many true friends would you say you had?  Like 2-3, lol. Do you have a motto?  Not really. When was the last time you went on a trampoline?  Couldn't guess. What’s your best memory with each of your parents?  Dad, maybe him teaching me to ride a bike.  Or playing softball.  As for Mom, maybe the time we were driving around one night, grabbed some milkshakes, and jammed out to Judas Priest way too loud lol. Do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea?  I mean, sure.  If you truly loved your s/o, you wouldn't even consider someone else.  Better than cheating. Is it possible to ‘fix’ a ‘broken’ relationship?  I'm not sure, honestly.  This will never in any universe happen, but let's just say Jason and I got back together.  It wouldn't work.  At all.  Our relationship was Heaven to me until it ended, and I know it could never be repaired. If you found someone seemingly perfect for you, but it turned out they had a child… would you still give the relationship a chance?  Nope.  I could never take on the role of a parent figure for a child.  Nevermind one that wasn't mine or Sara's. Is it possible to ‘fall out of love’?  Yeah, been there. Why do you think people choose to get married?  Some people just enjoy the idea of a legal union with each other to signify their love, some don't want sex or kids before marriage, etc. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?  We're both girls, but if it was physically possible, definitely. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?  Mom or Sara, depending on the subject. Who was the last person you danced with?  Sara. How many tattoos would you get?  Arms covered, hands, knuckles, neck, sternum, hips, back, ribs... lots.  The only place I'm not very interested in tattooing are my legs, but it'll probably happen if I find something I love and also to balance things out.  Might look kinda weird to have so many but then none below my hips. Abusive relationship: leave him/her or keep it a secret?  TELL.  SOMEONE.  I'm sure the idea is terrifying, but what's scarier is staying with someone abusive.  Tell someone who can do something. Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?  Breasts. Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with?  Jason. Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus?  I like the broccoli, the latter is disgusting. Do you like gore?  Sometimes it's aesthetically pleasing to me, sometimes it gives me a quick gag if it's something real gross with humans because then I can actually imagine it on myself. Have you ever read Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov?  No.  Pretty sure I know the basis of it, though, if it's about the lolita fashion.  My friend had a phase where she was deeeep into it and told me about a book of that name.  Gross. Do serial killers fascinate you?  Not especially, but sometimes it is intriguing to learn just how fucked they can be.  I wonder how the mind can make up some shit. Besides your own, what’s your favorite country?  That I'm at least somewhat aware of, I find Japanese culture quite interesting. Would you ever get a septum piercing?  Nah, don't think it'll look good on me. Are you lactose intolerant?  No. Are you allergic to gluten?  No. Do you know anyone who is missing a toe?  No. Do any lights stay on while you sleep?  My snake's and iguana's lamps. If you have a notepad in your phone, what do you use it for the most?  Lmao tattoo ideas. Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender?  At least three girls.  Two before I even realized I was bi lmao.  Just looking back, my bond with them on my end wasn't straight, Alon especially. What store do you shop at the most for clothes?  HotTopic. Would you ever get your nipples pierced?  I very recently actually briefly considered it lmao.  I wouldn't tho.  Tbfh mainly just because of foreplay reasons shhhh. How many pets do you own?  Six. What’s your least favorite season? I loathe summer. Do you like tacos? Omg no. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert. Do you like to play board games?  Not really, no. Are you fond of romantic novels? When I read, I wouldn't actively seek them out, but I enjoyed quite a few. Fruit Loops or Cocopops?  Fruit Loops = Good Shit. Would you eat a live spider for one million dollars? Biiiitch yes for that much. Do you believe in aliens? I've been more open to the possibility lately.  Maybe. If you were the last person alive besides one other person you get to chose, who would it be?  My Sara Jane. Dogs or cats?  Cats. Do you like cotton candy?  I can only manage a couple bites.  Too sweet. Would you ever use a dating site? I like to pretend that never happened lmao neeeever again. Do you believe in ghosts?  Absolutely. Rap or pop? Pop, if I had to pick between the two. Do you like Lady Gaga?  Some of her songs are super catchy. What about Nick Minaj?  She's very talented in her genre, but I'm not a fan of her music. How many pairs of jeans do you own? None. Do you have an addiction to anything?  Technology. Do you like cheeseburgers?  Probably what I miss most being a vegetarian.  I love burgers. Do you have a Flickr? Yes. When did you last vacuum your room? Few days back. Who was the last person to sit on your bed?  Mom. Do you have a favorite flower?  Orchids. Do you like to cuddle with your S.O. or do you prefer your space?  Depends on how comfortable I am in the relationship.  In my current one, I am like.  Soooo cuddly. Do you like being called pet names or not?  Depends on the person.  Parents, s/o, friends, sure. Do you care if your produce is organic or not?  Not really, but I mean if I was to pick between something organic or not and I was aware, I'd certainly pick the organic. Do you get enough calcium?  I love milk, bro. Who is it that you’re in love with?  Sara 100% 100% 100% my babygirl. Is your significant other of the same ethnicity as you?  Yes. Do you have any friends in a band?  An old friend is the guitarist of a pretty nice metal band. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?  Classic, probs. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?  Suicidal depression. Do you ever donate money to charity? If so, which charity and why? Once I have a source of income, I plan on donating to every charity livestream Mark does.  One, because it's just being a generous human, but also because I try to actively support everything he does. How many are too many partners for one person, in your opinion? Basically, I only support monogamy. What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Meeting Sara. What’re your plans for your next birthday?  Lemme get my Mark tattoo, man.  Go out to my favorite restaurant.  Family time. Have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue ring?  No. Thinking back to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on their bed?  Yeah. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed?  Yeah. Thinking back to the last person you really, truly passionately kissed, how many times have you cried because of them?  Waaaaaaaay too many times. How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater?  Like low 50s. Has anyone ever pulled a gun on you?  Whoa no. Kisses on the cheek or the neck?  If you're not in the mood to make out, don't kiss me on the neck lmao. One word to describe your most recent ex? Hilarious. Fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? I only like scrambled. Have you ever gotten into a club, whilst being underage?  Never been to one. When do you plan on moving out?  When Sara and I are ready to move in together. Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site like Bebo or MySpace?  I had MySpace. Do you think when someone says “I love you” that you are obliged to say it back?  Definitely not.  Those are strong words. Which Disney princess do you think is the most beautiful and why?  Hmmm, I think Pocahontas.  I just think she's very pretty. What’s the best food to have at a sleepover?  PIZZA. How did you meet the last person you shared a bed with?  YouTube. Do you have any half-siblings?  Four. When going shopping for junk food, what’s the first thing you pick up?  Usually chips. At sleepovers, do you usually stay up all night or actually go to sleep?  Go to sleep. Is there anything in the room you’re in that’s really dusty?  I neeeed to dust my fan. Do you know anybody with different colored eyes?  No. Are any of your relatives vets?  Not to my knowledge. How many minutes do you consider late?  More than 5. What kinds of food do you dunk into milk?  Just cookies. Do you have any current or past teachers on your Facebook friends?  Yes. How much sugar do you like in your tea/coffee?  I hate both. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk?  Yeah. After seeing a movie, do you go to a site to enter a review about it?  No. Do your parents vote?  I know Mom does.  Guessing Dad does. How would you react if your best friend was pregnant/got someone pregnant?  My best friend is my girlfriend, and I'd support whatever she decided.  She doesn't want kids at all, nor do I think her body could handle it, so I'd understand if she aborted, and if she didn't, I'd try damn hard to be an amazing parent. What restaurant has the best fries?  Bojangle's fries got all her challengers SHOOK. What does your mailbox look like?  Just a normal 'ole mailbox. Would your mom make a good president?  No. What’s your favorite thing to eat during a movie?  Popcorn. Do you consider cooking to be an art?  Sure, it can be. What browser do you prefer to use?  Chrome. What genre of films do you like the best? Paranormal horror. Have you ever had a crush on someone several years older than yourself?  No. Does your best friend have any tattoos?  No. Who was the last person you were rude to? Did you have a good reason?  Probably Mom.  There's never a good reason to be rude.

[advocatewrites-blog]

Into the Unknown Part 4 Chapter 2

Into the Unknown

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers,  mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.

The hallway outside of the Ruins was a lot longer than either of them had expected. It was too dimly lit for either of them to see quite clearly, and the damp chill of caverns only grew as they walked. There was only one clear beacon of light as another chasm opened above them.

In the beacon of light, there sat a flower.

“I bet you think you’re real clever, don’t cha?” said Flowey. “Saving your goat mom like that?”

Both of them were still rattled from the fight, so the most Dipper could really do was stomp on Flowey. It burrowed back underground before his foot hit the ground.

“Tell me,” said Flowey as he popped up behind them.  “What do you think you would have done if you hadn’t saved her? What will happen if you meet someone you can’t spare?”

“We’re not here to fight anyone!” said Dipper.

“Oh? So why are you here, then?”

Mabel sent Dipper a concerned looked. The two fell silent. That was all that Flowey wanted to hear.

“You don’t know,” said Flowey in realization. “Don’t worry, my little monarchs. You’re not the ones I’m looking for. And maybe once you stop that goody two-shoes act, we can agree on something.”

Flowey burrowed back underground, leaving them alone.

“What was that about?” Mabel asked.

“I’m not sure…” said Dipper. “Mabel, what were we doing when we came down here?”

Mabel hummed as she thought.

“The last thing I remember was being at the Shack,” she said.

“Same with me,” said Dipper. “Do you think maybe something paranormal brought us here?”

“I mean, we are in a world of magic and monsters,” said Mabel. “Nothing’s out of the question.”

“Then we better get to work,” said Dipper.

Chapter 2

They didn’t talk much after they were reunited. It was too late to make any real plans, too dark to look at the map Frisk had gotten, and they were too tired to think clearly.

It was early when they started to talk again. The sun had barely risen above the mountains that surrounded them, but it was light enough that Frisk could read the map.

None of the mountains surrounding them were Mt. Ebott.

“These are not normal woodlands,” said the Cat. “Perhaps you can try finding another monster here?”

Frisk nodded.

“Then I suggest we try to avoid gnomes.”

He jumped out of his skin when he saw the white bone. A skull sat in the hoodie. Attached to the rest of it was a skeleton. Two pinpricks of light hovered in the eye sockets, as close to pupils as it could get.

“alright. go ahead and take your choice. don’t got enough g on me to keep restocking.”

The skeleton monster gave a vague gesture to a set of lamps sitting by the checkpoint station, and what fear Dipper had faded into confusion.

“Why do you just have human shaped lamps?” Dipper asked.

“ya better make it quick,” the skeleton said. “my bro’s gonna be here in a few minutes and he’s a human hunting fanatic.”

Dipper’s eyes widened as he put together what he meant, and dove behind one of the lamps that had a shade of a long cone. Mabel fell right behind him, and hid behind her own lamp.

“SANS!”

“sup bro?”

Mabel poked her head out from the lampshade. “Oh, he’s cute!”

Dipper looked up just long enough to see the other addresser.

“He’s a skeleton,” said Dipper.

“You say that like it’ll stop me,” said Mabel.

“SANS? ARE THOSE HUMANS?”

The twins froze. Slowly, they both poked their heads out from the lampshade.

“sure, bro,” said the shorter skeleton. His skeletal smile was as thick as ever (and Dipper noted in the back of his mind that it didn’t move when he spoke), but there was a hint of frustration in his tone that Dipper could not quite place why.

“GOOD JOB!! I GUESS THERE IS MERIT TO STARING AT THESE LAMPS ALL DAY!!!” The taller skeleton turned to the twins. “ATTENTION HUMANS! !!YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! !! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL CAPTURE YOU!!! PROCEED…ONLY IF YOU DARE!!!”

He ran off, his laugh growing more and more distant.

“sorry bout that,” said the shorter skeleton. “name’s sans, by the way.”

He offered Dipper a hand up. Dipper noted the pink whoopee cushion hidden under his phalanges and decided to pull himself back up.

“Human hunting?” Dipper asked. “So you’re trying to hunt us down?”

“nah. he won’t hurt a fly,” said sans. “he’ll just fight you and give you awful puzzles to solve. i’ll keep an eyesocket out for you kids.”

sans walked off into the other direction as his brother. Dipper waited until he could not see him anymore to talk.

“Who just has a dozen people-shaped lamps waiting out in the middle of the forest?” He asked.

“The same kind of person who keeps hot dogs under his stand,” said Mabel as she rose. “And the kind of person I wanna be friends with. Want one?”

Dipper took one without thinking. His mind was racing.

Sans was not all that surprised to see the two humans in the world of monsters. He had gone through the trouble of special ordering several human-shaped lamps and dragging them out into the snow and forest. He had been expecting them.

“sans definitely knows something,” said Dipper as he took a bite of his hot dog. “Let’s try and figure out what.”

“Sounds like a plan, plan man!”

It was then that Dipper realized whatever he put into his mouth was not hot dog meat.

They find the boyband first. Frisk vaguely recalled seeing them on TV at one point, so it’s a bit of a surprise to find them in a magical forest. They thought about asking them whether or not they knew anything about the Kingdom of Monsters, but decide against it after they have to talk one of them out of eating a pinecone.

The boyband was not the only humans they found in the forest. They stumbled upon a campsite, where the only difference between its two occupants is the numbers on their hats. They did not know where Mt. Ebott was, but they were kind enough to show them where the other magical places in the forest are and offered their campsite if they couldn’t find a place for the night.

They find the gnomes again. They weren’t helpful.

It was late in the afternoon when something interesting happened. They only ventured in to town for a few moments, for Frisk to buy some food with what money they had left. It was only a packet of jerky from a vending machine, but it was enough until they can figure something else out. They wandered off to one of the prettier spots in the woods, settled down on a log, opened the packet…

The forest rumbled. Birds flew and gnomes ran away. Soundwaves shook the trees and cause ripples in the stream. The earth shook as something raced closer.

The Manutaur approaches.

Frisk ACTS without thinking, and held the jerky packed out in front of them. The fight stopped instantly.

“Not going to fight back, tiny human?” The manutaur asked as he poured jerky down his throat.

Frisk shook their head and shrugged.

“I believe they would like to talk to you instead,” said the Cat. “They are looking for a way into a kingdom of monsters. It should be hidden in the mountains.”

The manutaur hummed in thought. “Climb onto my backhairs. I’ll take you to meet with High Council.”

“I think I’ll pass,” said the Cat.

Frisk climbed aboard, and let the cat jumped onto their shoulders. The Manutaur sped off.

“HE’S…WELL…HE’S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!” said Papyrus. “EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY! I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY…’EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMURR, CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?’ HE’LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF! ANYWAY!!! THAT’S ENOUGH TALKING!!! I’LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND!!! LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!!!”

Papyrus ran through them back to his house, a movement that was at best a mix of running, skipping, and floating. His laughter faded off in the distance.

Dipper hardly noticed. His mind was abuzz with the new information, trying to put together what Papyrus had said to the theories he had already crafted into his head.

He hardly even noticed the last thing Papyrus had said, until he looked over at Mabel and saw the look in her eyes.

“You want to go on a date with him right away?” Dipper asked.

“Why not?” said Mabel. “He said we can visit whenever we want for that date!”

“Your date,” Dipper said.

“And what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know! I think there was a restaurant in town…”

“I bet if you go with me you’d be able to talk to sans about whatever nerdy stuff you wanna talk about,” said Mabel.

Dipper opened his mouth to argue, but close it just as quickly. That was actually a good point.

“Just promise me you won’t call my thing a date,” said Dipper.

“Can’t! Let’s go!”

It was a long and hard-fought training montage that lasted the whole day. But eventually, Frisk was accepted by the Mautaurs. They gave them bits of leather armor that did not really fit them, a spear made of bone and stone that reminded them of Papyrus and Undyne, and some neat temporary tattoos. They were sent on their way to conquer the Multibear.

“And we shall go with you to make sure you don’t botch this like Destructor did,” said Pituitor.

But Frisk knew they weren’t going to Fight the Multibear, much less conquer it. Hopefully the other Manutaurs would be cool with that too.

The Multibear lived on the other side of the mountain range. Frisk scaled it the way the Mautaurs had taught them. They entered the cave. The Manutaurs were right behind them.

The sounds of roars alerted Frisk to the location of the Multibear before their eyes could fully adjust to the darkness. The Multibear emerged from the shadows.

“Bear heads! Quiet!” The biggest head of the Multibear snapped. “So, the Manutaurs have seen fit to send to me another human.”

“Yeah, because you SUCK!” Gronk shouted from outside.

The bear head growled again, but stopped as it was slapped.

Frisk nodded enthusiastically. They put their spear down to sign.

“I am afraid I do not speak the language of Hands,” said the Multibear.

“Then allow me to translate,” said the Cat as he emerged from a stalagmite. “They want to ask you for directions.”

There was a loud groan from the Manutaurs outside. The Cat ignored it.

“They wish to find the Kingdom of Monsters,” said the Cat.

“You would provoke the ire of the Manutaurs just to find it?” asked the Multibear.

Frisk nodded.

“Then you must be very lost,” said the Multibear. “Very well. I will tell you what I know.”

Papyrus’ house was a unique mixture of old, clashing furniture, and surfaces so clean it was hard to believe that they had ever held dust. In a lot of ways, it reminded Dipper of the Mystery Shack. He took a seat on the couch and started to flip through a book on quantum physics.

“Wow! How’d you get your sink so high?”

Shoved in between the pages was a joke book, just a little smaller than the textbook.  Curious, Dipper took that out.

“DO YOU LIKE IT?! I MADE IT TALLER SO I CAN STORE MORE BONES UNDERNEATH. TAKE A LOOK!!!”

The joke book had been hollowed out to hold another book on quantum physics. Dipper took it out and opened it up.

“WHAT?!?! CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!”

Dipper looked up long enough from the books to watch the small Pomeranian from before rush through the kitchen and out the door.

“CURSES!”

The sound of a sad trombone filled the house.

“SANS!! STOP PLAUGING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC AND COME HELP ME ENTERTAIN THESE HUMANS!”

“oh, what?” sans’ voice echoed from the top of the stairs.

“YES! THE TALLER HUMAN AND I WERE PLANNING ON GOING TO MY ROOM AND DOING…WHATEVER IT IS PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY GO ON DATES! COULD YOU PERHAPS ENTERTAIN THE SHORTER ONE???”

“I’m shorter than Mabel by, like, an inch!” said Dipper.

There was a lingering pause upstairs, as sans thought about what had been asked.

“sure thing bro,”

There was the sound of a closing door upstairs, and the front door swung open.

“sorry bro,” said sans. “just wanted to make sure i got my date clothes on.”

The only thing Dipper noticed that was different were his socks, now matching.

“GREAT!! COME ALONG THEN, HUMAN!!! HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE, SANS!!!”

Mabel wriggled her eyebrows at Dipper as she rushed upstairs with Papyrus. Dipper tried his best to ignore her.

*DATING START!

“So, uh…” Dipper started. He made a vague gesture to the books on his lap.

“oh yeah,” said sans. “paps got that one for me. i made a few of my own modifications, of course, but i don’t think he’s gotten the joke yet.”

Silence fell between the two as Dipper tried to think of what to say next.

“DON’T THINK YOU’VE BESTED ME YET!!!” Papyrus’ voice rang from upstairs. “I’VE NEVER BEEN BEATING AT DATING AND I NEVER WILL!!”

“Hey, sans,” said Dipper. “Do you know anything about a talking flower?”

The atmosphere grew heavy. sans’ grin tightened, and for a second Dipper felt a shiver up his spine.

“the echo flowers in waterfall, right?” sans asked. “didn’t think you had made it that far.”

“We haven’t,” said Dipper. “I mean a small golden flower that talks back at you, not just an echo.”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT!”

sans was silent for a moment. He shifted in his seat so he could look Dipper in the eyes. His smile had grown bigger, but Dipper was not entirely sure that was a good thing.

“I have a question for you kid…how did you end up in the Underground?”

“I don’t know. Mabel and I just kind of ended up here,” said Dipper. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. And I think that flower might have something to do with it.”

“RIGHT! BUT OH SO WRONG! THIS AIN’T ANY PLAIN OL’ PASTA!! THIS IS AN ARTISAN’S WORK!!! SILKEN SPAGHETTI FINLEY AGED IN AN OAKEN CAST, THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS!!!”

“And I think you might know something about it,” Dipper finished.

The lights in sans’s eyesockets went out. Dipper fought the urge to jump back and run. Phalanges tapped on the sofa, forming a melodic pattern.

“What makes you think that, bucko?”

Dipper swallowed in a vain attempt to stop his voice from cracking before he spoke.

“Who orders a set of human-shaped lamps and leaves them out in the forest?”

“AUGH!!! URGH!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Should we do something about that?” Dipper asked.

“nah, they’re probably fine.” said sans. “but you know…you may be on to something kiddo. tell you what; you tell me more about that flower, i’ll tell you more about the other humans. deal?”

“Fine.” said Dipper.

“great. i’ll keep an eyesocket out for you, kid.”

sans stood from the couch and walked out the front door again. Dipper did not have a chance to question it before Mabel came downstairs.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“I dunno,” said Mabel as she plopped onto the couch. “I mean he dumped me, but that was the best date I’ve ever been on.”

Dipper decided it was not worth it to point out that all of her other dates were with a group of gnomes, a merman, a psychic brat currently in jail, and the guy on the $10 bill.

“How’d talking to sans go?” Mabel asked.

“I might be onto something,” Dipper said. “There’s a lot more going on in the Underground that we don’t know about.”

Author’s Note: Compared to Coraline, Wirt, Greg, and even Norman to an extent, the Pines twins know what they’re doing. They’re ready to solve some mysteries and rewrite history.