#like that could theoretically fall through so everyone has to be careful

[tysonfurybattlepass]

What's Denali's relationship like with your other ocs (that she knows?)

she’s basically adopted connor and kairoh as younger sisters! with kairoh’s size and connor’s attitude, they’re undoubtedly the brawn of the pride. denali has an image to uphold as a level-headed leader, so connor and kairoh happily get done the work that would make denali look bad.

denali’s pride is made up of her, three biological sisters, all of their kids who are still at home (azure and his cousins) kairoh, and connor. overall it’s a closely-knit sisterhood, but they also step on each other’s feet quite a bit. in-pride scuffles aren’t uncommon at all, and usually resolve through snarling, swatting, and wrestling. no serious harm done.

megantereon is a thorn in her side. they have very different ideals but are forced to cooperate in a professional setting quite a lot (local politics and land management). his family is also quite influential in that regard, and unlike denali they have been there for a long, long time. old money, as they say.

she has a very good relationship with henley’s family, the hadean dog pack. the patriarch, oko, is someone she considers both an ally and a friend. they coexist well on the same turf due to the agreement that the dogmen are allowed to hunt freely during the day, and the lion pride are allowed to hunt freely at night. as long as they don’t encroach on each other’s “work hours”, all is well! the dogmen are also nomadic, following the migration of large game, so they aren’t overlapping with the lions geographically for the whole year. this particular alliance makes them the two most influential family groups in their area. crossing the dogs runs the risk of getting the lions involved, and vice versa. it’s like a carnivorous mafia

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 2.5k | tags: different first meeting, emotional hurt/comfort | summary: What happens when Steve meets Eddie Munson, who has just failed his senior year for the first time, during one of his nightly drives? | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is asking, "do you want a blanket?" by @thefreakandthehair | AO3)

Steve's life was completely turned upside down (theoretically he sees the humor in this, but in practice the trauma trumps the pun) six months and six days ago when he came face-to-face with a honest-to-God inter-dimensional monster and barely survived to not tell the tale thanks to an airtight and frankly scary NDA.

He should be over it by now, right? He shouldn't be waking up screaming, drenched in his own sweat and shaking all over, his heart racing in his chest and his stomach in his throat.

Right.

Well, he's not. He doesn't get over it. The nightmares don't go away. If anything, he feels like they're getting worse, his mind adding horrible details and things that didn't happen, but could have, to keep torturing him.

He's a fucking mess.

Steve Harrington is a mess. His grades are slipping, on their way to joining his social status at rock bottom, and even his performance as co-captain of the swim team and basketball team is suffering from lack of sleep.

The only thing he has going for him is Nancy. Nancy, who doesn't understand that Steve just wants to get over the horror and the paranoia, just wants his life back, just wants to be normal again.

She doesn't say it outright, but he knows she thinks he's selfish, too self-centered to care about anything but himself. Sure, he's made amends with Jonathan and cut ties with Tommy and Carol, but deep down, Nancy doesn't think he's changed all that much. He's not Jonathan, he's not mature and monosyllabic and introspective. Just dumb little Steve, pretty to look at but not much else to offer.

These are the things he ponders during his late-night drives when another nightmare keeps him awake. It's impossible to fall asleep with terror pumping through his veins, so instead he climbs into his car and just drives. Some nights he will drive for hours, music playing softly from one of his tapes, Queen, Springsteen, Tears For Fears, Bon Jovi.

Tonight his drive takes him to the edge of town, right where a dirt road leads to the quarry. Steve has no idea why, but something makes him actually leave the main road and turn onto it. He follows it where it leads into the woods, slowing down on the bumpy road until he sees the dense cluster of trees open up to reveal a glimpse of the starry night sky. The path seems to open up into a clearing, and just there, to the right, Steve spots an old van.

He knows the car, has seen it often enough in the parking lot of Hawkins High to know that it belongs to none other than Eddie Munson, local drug dealer and freak.

At least that's what everyone keeps calling him, and sure, the guy seems a little weird, with his speeches on cafeteria tables, his dramatic antics in and out of class. He certainly doesn't look like most of the other kids, with his ripped jeans (clearly from wear and tear rather than fashion sense), long, unruly curls, and loud shirts advertising bands Steve has never heard of. People also shit on him for his father and for living in a trailer park, but none of that sounds particularly freaky to Steve.

Knowing what he does now, though, it worries him to think of Munson all alone out here where anything could happen to him. He doesn't know Munson, just about him, but Steve couldn't live with himself if he came to school on Monday and found Munson missing. One person has already died because of his carelessness, and no one deserves to suffer the same fate as Nancy's friend Barb.

Parking his car right next to Munson's, Steve climbs out and walks around the car to the trunk to pick up the nail bat that saved his life and the lives of Nancy and Jonathan. Then he makes his way to the opening of the clearing ahead.

Stepping out of the trees, Steve stops to take in the sight before him.

Above him stretches the inky expanse of the night sky, a seemingly endless void painted with a myriad of distant stars. The moonlight danced along the jagged edges of the quarry, revealing the vastness of the rocky landscape below in a silvery glow. The only sound that broke the silence of the night was the occasional soft rustle of leaves. The air was crisp and clean, carrying with it a hint of earthiness from the rocky terrain. In this secluded enclave, far from the lights of the city, the stars were front and center, and Steve felt unbelievably small.

With his shoulders hunched over his ears and his arms slung protectively around his knees, the figure sitting on the edge of the cliff looks even smaller than he feels.

It seems that Munson didn't even hear his car approaching, and that makes Steve's hair stand on end because it means that anyone, anything could have snuck up on him. It's not safe.

Steve approaches cautiously, trying his best not to startle the other boy and cause him to fall to his certain death.

"Munson?" He asks softly, quietly, but to no avail. It still causes Munson to flail in surprise, and only Steve's quick reflexes keep him from falling over the edge. With his knees still smarting from the sudden drop to the ground, Steve has his arm wrapped around the other boy, and both of them are panting from the shock.

"Fuck, man, are you trying to kill me?" Munson's voice quavers too much to be truly biting.

Steve carefully loosens his grip on Munson and leans back to sit on his haunches. Running a slightly trembling hand through his hair, he can't help but bite back. "If you paid more attention to what was going on around you, you would have heard me coming. I wasn't really trying to be subtle. It's like you want to get killed."

Munson scoots away from the edge of the cliff and climbs to his feet to look down at Steve and the nail bat he dropped when he made a grab for the other boy. He raises a judgmental eyebrow, causing Steve's defenses to go up in an instant.

They look at each other, brown meeting hazel, until Munson breaks the silence. "By someone walking around with a nail-studded bat, you mean?"

"I wasn't going to hit you with it!" And crap, abort Harrington, abort.

Now both eyebrows look at him questioningly. "And who, pray tell, pissed off King Steve enough to deserve this kind of treatment?"

"No one! For God's sake, I thought you might be in danger and wanted to be prepared in case you were." Then he adds, "After what happened to Will Byers and Barbara Holland, you'd think people in this town would be more careful instead of hanging out in the woods in the middle of the night."

Ed-No, Munson's eyes soften at his explanation. "Shit, sorry man. You're right, I guess." Shuffling his feet, he offers his own explanation for his harsh reaction. "Just had a shitty day, I guess. I shouldn't have bitten your head off for trying to look out for me. Although I never thought King Steve would ride in on his white horse to save the school freak from unimaginable evil."

"White horse? What, like a knight? Does that make you the damsel in distress, Munson?"

Munson gets a strange look on his face at Steve's words, and before he knows what's happening, the guy pretends to faint right into his arms. He catches him just before he hits the ground and feels how cold the boy's body is in his thin t-shirt. "My savior," Munson croons, and Steve rolls his eyes at his antics. Still not a freak, but definitely weird.

Instead of dignifying this with an answer, Steve says, "You're freezing, man. What are you doing out here in the middle of the night anyway?"

Dark brown eyes search his, and Steve thinks he's never seen such expressive eyes. He can read a myriad of emotions in them and he doesn't even know the guy. Sadness, caution, defeat, and something he's seen in the mirror a lot in the last few months: fear.

"I bet you have better things to do than listen to my sad little problems. Can't imagine you're just running around town rescuing damsels in distress now, I'm sure you have places to be, a kingdom to rule..."

"Could you just drop the whole 'King Steve' crap, man? I'm not him. Not anymore. Even if nobody seems to have gotten the memo."

"Okay, woah, sorry, man. I didn't know this was such a touchy subject."

"Do you want me to call you a freak and make assumptions about you based solely on high school gossip?"

"I don't know, don't you?"

"I'm trying not to. You don't have to tell me what's going on if you don't want to. I'm just saying... I know what it's like when you can't stand lying in your bed staring at the ceiling any longer. Wanting to get out and leave whatever it is that's bothering you behind, but no matter how fast you drive, it keeps catching up with you."

He's rambling, he knows he is, he didn't plan on unburdening his heart to Eddie Munson of all people, but here they are.

"I failed senior year." Eddie finally admits in a small voice, not meeting Steve's eyes.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Fuck, man. That sucks. Can you repeat it?"

"Sure. But I... God, everyone was right all along. I'm a failure, a fuckup. Just like my dad. A good-for-nothing waste of space. I haven't even told Wayne, I can't stand the look in his eyes when I tell him". There are tears in Eddie's eyes and Steve's heart breaks for him.

"Fuck!" Eddie shouts across the quarry and a flock of birds takes flight somewhere in the nearby woods. He's shaking again, and this time it's not from the adrenaline. Steve can't really take away any of the things that are weighing on Eddie, but he can offer him something else.

"Do you want a blanket?"

Eddie's doe eyes blink at him slowly, as if he's not sure he heard him right.

"You're only wearing a T-shirt, you must be cold." Eddie doesn't deny it. "Let me get you a blanket, then."

Another slow blink, and then, "If you're...sure?"

Steve gives him a smile that he hopes is warm and reassuring. "I'm sure." He walks over to his BMW and takes the nail bat with him, exchanging it for the blanket that he keeps in the trunk of his car at all times. Tommy H. calls it the "baby maker blanket," which is so typical of Tommy that Steve wonders why he was hanging out with him at all. Maybe because he was a friend to Steve when no one else would be.

But maybe he won't tell Eddie about the blanket's history. Anyway, it's freshly washed and smells only of his detergent.

Handing it to the boy, Steve says, "There you go," before turning to walk back to his car.

"Where are you going?"

When Steve turns back, Eddie is sitting on the ground with the blanket around his shoulder, one end held open as if inviting Steve to join him.

"Back home?" It's not supposed to sound like a question, but some of his reluctance to leave seeps into it anyway. He doesn't want to go home to his empty house and bed, afraid to close his eyes in case the nightmares come back.

"Look, you don't have to, of course, but if you want, you can stay and tell me what brought you here in the middle of the night. Or not. We could just sit here in silence, totally fine with me."

Steve snorts, because even though this is the first time he's had a conversation with Eddie, he can already tell that silence doesn't come easy to him.

"If you're sure," he repeats Eddie's words back to him as he makes his way over to him.

"I'm sure," Eddie says firmly, wrapping the blanket around Steve as soon as he sits down next to him.

Many things surprised Steve that night, but most of all how comfortable the silence between him and Eddie had felt as they watched the stars until they gave way to the rising sun.

They never talked about that night again, the polite nods in the halls all the acknowledgment they allowed for what had happened.

But when Steve walks across the stage to receive his diploma in 1985, he notices Eddie's absence and his heart aches for him. He had been looking forward to seeing Eddie walk across the stage next to him, to give him a smile, a wink. Maybe even ask him out for a celebratory beer, if he's being completely honest with himself.

The sad truth is: Steve had no one to spend his graduation with, no girlfriend, no friends, just a 13-year-old know-it-all whose bedtime didn't really allow for any kind of grown-up celebration. Eddie was his only hope of not being alone tonight.

That's probably why he's heading out to the quarry again that night, bat and blanket in tow.

It's a shot in the dark, and at the same time it's not. Because there Eddie is, sitting on the edge again, small and defeated, and just as alone as Steve. Without a word, Steve joins him on the ground and wraps the blanket around them both.

"I'm sorry."

Eddie's warm weight settles against him. "Me too." Silence falls between them, and Steve thinks that's all they'll say, but then Eddie nudges his shoulder with his own and says, "I'm sorry, too. About Wheeler."

"Me too."

Steve thinks that even if he's not a poet, there's something symbolic in the way they both watch the sun rise again over the quarry.

The next time he wrapped the blanket around Eddie, it was again in the middle of the night. Only this time, Eddie is unconscious in the back of his car while Steve races to the hospital, praying to any God who will listen that this will not be the last time.

It isn't. Not by a long shot. Getting the blood out is not easy, but with Joyce's help he manages. The blanket is there when physical therapy is especially grueling, when they both sit on the porch of Eddie's new trailer, Steve holding Eddie under the blanket's protective cover.

It's there when Steve moves in with the Munsons and gets a special place on Eddie's bed, though they never make love on it. The blood was hard enough to get out, and the material doesn't look like it can take much more deep cleaning.

They take it with them when they move to their apartment in Chicago, and it's there for every bad day either of them has.

Their blanket finds its final purpose, however, with the arrival of their daughter, April. From the day their little bundle of joy moves in with them, she sleeps wrapped in the foundation of Steve and Eddie's love.

Steve may not be a poet, that's Eddie's job, but he appreciates the symbolism all the same.

[iravinirattu]

ik im late but im playing through kaveh's hangout event and. the haikaveh brainrot is real

since these losers can't do it themselves i am here to offer my translation services ‼️

al haitham you liar. we are in a library using our indoor voices you did NOT hear us.

and even if you did mr. "i hate small talk" why'd u walk over hmm?? hmm??

"dont mind if i ignore you, i've got my earphones in" <- applies to everyone except kaveh

"okay now that i've gotten him distracted tell me what's wrong so i can discreetly fix it"

mans literally sent kaveh away to boost his confidence a bit + find out if he was okay.

"you annoted those books with such long and beautiful notes that eveyone hated lolol anyways check out those shelfs where there's a book with someone appreciating ur notes"

i can't get over how many exceptions al haitham makes for kaveh. he's not heartless and cruel in the way i often see him portrayed... but at the same time his entire demeanor is "i respect you as a person but won't go out of my way to do things for you unless it benefits me"

like he's one of the only characters who isn't super super close with the traveler, at least that's how i see it in the voicelines! he respects them as a friend, would consider doing things for them if they asked, but that's about it really!

but KAVEH. for someone who enjoys a peaceful life and has such a rational and efficient way of working it theoretically makes no sense for him to do all the things he does for kaveh.

like sure "maybe the cheering up kaveh is just to avoid having to deal with him drunk later", but that's too roundabout of a demeanor to be al haitham's style. plus, if he really didn't want to deal with a drunk kaveh, he could just kick him out.

but he doesn't because he cares, and kaveh does not understand that because he has created a vision of what he thinks al haitham is in his head, and in that vision he, kaveh, has no value so why would haitham have him around?? clearly he's got ulterior motives.

and they won't move further until kaveh lets go of that vision, and he can only do that if he truly realises his own worth, and until then haitham's gonna have to keep pushing him towards that from the shadows.

"he overworks himself, it's not healthy. he forgets the practicality of his ideals when he starts something, thinking he can pull through it, but reality hits him halfway. he can keep his ideals, that's fine, but i wish he was a bit more realistic about them."

"and despite all of the above, despite wanting to uphold his artistic integrity, he still puts everyone's needs before his own."

"his approach is too contradictory, and hence people don't see his talent. there are those who's resolve is so brash they are seen as confident and unshakable; and yet he who is more talented than them all falls behind because he's so easy to take advantage of."

al haitham taught me two new words today lol

irascible - someone with a quick temper

paragon - something viewed as a standard

"if he wants things to change he needs to find a balance between compromise and resolve. there is no way to please everyone, but instead of accepting this, he thinks he can nullify it if he takes all the burden instead."

kaveh's altruism stems from his own self-hatred, moreso than his desire to help others. and while doing a good deed puts a smile on his face, the melancholy guilt that trips him when he doesn't is far greater.

"if they are his ideals then i have no right to say anything about them. but he hurts himself so much as a result of that and i wish he would love himself a bit more."

al haitham has a great deal of respect for kaveh, not just as a scholar but as a person. and it's hard watching someone like that dig their own grave, and there's nothing you can do but wait in the sidelines, because they won't believe anything you say.

al haitham is constantly bickering with kaveh to get him to feel a little, challenge his ideals, find a way to make them work without sacrificing himself in return.

"at this poing talking to him is no use, he's convinced himself that his life only has purpose if it's in the hands of others. all people face hardships in life, but he seems to believe he deserves all he gets and more"

and then after kaveh is back he gives him space to talk about things that make him happy, and more importantly, appreciate himself.

how to tell kaveh i want to listen to his silly lil rants without sounding like a sap - al haitham's brain, probably

al haitham knowing all of kaveh's little buttons, and pressing the right ones after determining his mood, so he can show kaveh he loves him but still sound like a bitch.

"you did so well. i am so proud, and i hope you are proud of yourself too."

and sometimes he does click the wrong one, but then immediately goes back on it, becomes soft(er than usual), offers reassurance, changes the topic, and so on

we saw this in the parade of providence event, when kaveh got legitimately upset at one of haitham's remarks and he immediately went into I HAVE UPSET MY BF recovery mode.

and what i love the most in all this is KAVEH'S DUMBASS IS SO OBLIVIOUS TO THIS LMAOOO

but also it's sad because the reason he's oblivious is because he doesn't think he's worth being cared for like that.

haikaveh's whole vibe is "i love you, but i'd much rather you love yourself first" and "i'm your one and only, your only exception, the one you'd break all your rules for" and i love it.

[clarste]

This may be too much work, so feel free to disregard this ask if so, but: Do you mind summarizing the plot of TH19? I've tried to piece it together through the translations I've been able to find online, but I'm not having much luck :')

Sure, why not. Spoilers below the break.

The incident that drives everything is that as a side-effect of what Chimata did in Touhou 18, some piece of land or whatever has lost its ownership, and theoretically a bunch of spirits are fighting to claim it. But the only spirits that matter for the plot are Yachie, Saki, and Yuuma, the three Animal Realm yakuza leaders from Touhou 17, who are using this as an opportunity to invade the surface. They each recruit an agent from Gensokyo to help them out (Biten, Enoko, and Chiyari), because Animal Realm spirits don't have bodies which limits what they can do on the surface.

However, Zanmu, a famous oni from Hell, doesn't like the idea of spirits from the Animal Realm taking over the surface. Not because she thinks they have a chance, but because if they cause too much chaos up there, the armies of Hell won't just sit back and watch, and would intercede as a peacekeeping force or whatever (Hell continues to be the USA, metaphorically). And that's bad. So she comes up with a plan to stop the animal yakuza, and that plan is basically the entirety of the game, because Zanmu is a nigh-omniscient genius chessmaster who can easily manipulate everyone from behind the scenes. That's not like, a magical power she has, she's just that good. A recurring theme is that everyone is "dancing on her palm" and that everything that could possibly happen has already been accounted for in The Plan.

Anyway, the basic gist of her plan is to insert double agents into each of the three animal yakuza gangs (Biten, Enoko, and Chiyari) and have them waste the yakuzas' time until the incident sorts itself out naturally, ie: the land's ownership naturally reasserts itself for whatever reason. So the new recruits' job is just to pretend to be bumbling and useless and prevent anything important from happening. And they do it because they are all absolutely loyal to Zanmu for various reasons, but hold no particular grudges against the yakuza and do seem to intend to stick around afterward. This part of the plan goes perfectly.

The next part of the plan is for Zanmu to personally beat up the three yakuza leaders, showing them that they never stood a chance to begin with so they won't even think of trying again, and then pretend to be the mastermind herself and lose to Reimu on purpose in order to reassert the status quo where Reimu always resolves incidents. However, what both Suika and Reimu intuit (and you can only use intuition against Zanmu, using logic will just fall into her trap) is that Zanmu has an ulterior motive here, which is to establish herself as an absolute being in everyone's minds, which would eventually lead to her naturally taking control over Gensokyo and running it like a zoo, an endangered animal preserve. "These creatures are too dumb to take care of themselves, and therefore I need to be in control."

Now, this is bad, but Zanmu is way too smart and strong to actually go up against directly. So the best Suika and Reimu can manage is to mess up her plan ever so slightly by not letting her lose on purpose to Reimu. IE: Zanmu wins the fight, doesn't get her perfect storybook ending where Reimu is the hero, and is forced to realize that she is not 100% infallible. Just 99% infallible.

Suika's plan also relies on Hisami betraying Zanmu, which doesn't make much sense on paper because she is completely loyal to her master, but she does it anyway because getting scolded is the only time when Zanmu pays any attention to her, and she desperately wants senpai to look at her, so it's like... Zanmu fatal flaw is not maintaining her personal relationships or something. While she did account for some "mischief," it takes a perfectly strange sequence of events for exactly one thing to go ever-so-slightly wrong.

Edit: I suppose I should add that the game is written like one of the recent fighting games, in that it assumes you've read all the story routes more or less in order, which is gated by needing to clear them to unlock others. So if you're reading the story translations out of order on a wiki that might explain your confusion. The game also kind of lies to you in the profiles, in that they provide information that is deliberately misleading in order to set up twists that occur in-game.

[xxswagcorexx]

Hey do you maybe have any lifesteal fic recs? There’s not a lot of rec lists in this fandom and I’m not sure where to start!

okay so um. i am perhaps the Worst person to go to when it comes to this stuff because. You See,

if you want a more. comprehensible list, my two swagdoons fic recommendations is probably the best place to start (1, 2). i am also going to shout out the nevada series and no bills in the mail since i've seen a few people talk about them on tumblr and i love both of them!

but i have gone through my bookmarks and have complied some fics! all of these fics are complete :)

Sweet Berry Pie by beaningeneraldenial

Clown is a busy assassin with too much experience on him to not attract a lot of potential clients and employers. One contract has him going away on the week of his and Branzy's 2nd anniversary, which Branzy doesn't appreciate much. He knows, however, how to make their anniversary celebration good! He makes a pie… he only adds a bit of gunpowder in it. or: Clown should've left a post-it note on the fridge saying "Do NOT touch, Branzy!" before he left for the week. He regrets it only a little.

Repent, Harlequin by trafficpose

The problem with knowing Clown: suddenly, chaos was an option.

Tunnel Vision by jukeboxtea

Mid is far from a quiet person. But when she’s in battle, she’s deadly silent. (or, a short character study on Midmysticx.)

Wire snare by dogdomesticated

Getting a read on intent. What will kill you first: the toxin or the detonation? A short abstract exploration of Rekrap's character and themes in Lifesteal season 3.

Rollercoaster by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

Branzy compares Clownpierce to a rollercoaster and other shenanigans.

i wouldn't blame you if you turned around by Anonymous

sometimes things don't go the way you want them to. it's a story clown has heard time and time again.

What do you see when you look at the stars? by lovecore_jpg

“..What do you see?” “..What?” Planet paused, a little confused by the question. “Like– when you look out at the stars. What do you.. see? ..Besides stars?” ---------------------- Planet likes to stargaze when everyone else is asleep. This time, somebody joins him.

Olethros by arospecitzsubz (Octaveice)

"Theoretically, the ruin goes before the grace. He'd named his sword for a reason."

Brown Eyes by PacificSeaOtter

Nobody knows what color Clownpierce's eyes are- not until Vitalasy, Subz, and Rek start a bet trying to figure it out. Thus ensues the saga of failed, but hilarious attempts to get Clown's mask off.

and I swear I could slit my throat with your dull knife by Scared_Rodent

Like a frozen lake, Branzy noticed how Ashswag's expressions hardly changed, how nothing he saw surprised him at all. Branzy remembered falling in love, remembering dates by the beach with nothing but his smile. On the deadliest server in the world, Branzy remembered him.

winter in prague; 1618 by whichlights

winter in prague; 1618. tensions are high after the defenestration of multiple catholic officials, and a war will break out not quite two years later. in this time of tensions, a vampire by the name of clownpierce is injured. his friend is there to care for him, at least.

drinks in new york; 1926 by whichlights

drinks in new york; 1926. prohibition has swept across the country, but that doesn't mean the party stops. world class performers, drinks, and more- all at greenwich village, a historical hub of gay activity. clown and redd have holed up in a townhouse in the village, and have been having a wonderful time in new york.

games to play on work break by Felix_J

"A boring place is what it is. Hell." Jaron says, and it might sound a little bitter. Ash gives him a blurry look. "No, why do you look at me like that." They've stopped asking questions, (Jaron knows asking questions is not a good thing, and generally, he doesn't care). "You think, that was such a hot resort, and Satan is the greatest of 'em, you're curious, right."

A man, a squid and a clown walk into an elevator… by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

Branzy is crushing hard on the dutch man he and Chief share their elevator rides with, and he seeks to learn Dutch in order to form a connection with him. Too bad he can speak English. Too bad Chief isn't going to stop Branzy.

Now as the curtains rise up by softnoblade

Maybe next it’ll snow. Maybe the remains of this server will be preserved, frozen under layers and layers of snow and ice. Perhaps, decades from now, some unlucky archaeologist will stumble across the remains of this server, and simultaneously uncover both the preserved remains of war and the immortal beings that had slaughtered them.

def function (singularity): by Anonymous/np13

it's always why did you mess with your player data and you're missing half your data structures and never ‘how was playing with your data. messing with code looked fun was it fun’ (it is, right up until it's not.)

sunsets on powerlines by w_nter

It starts with a broken lightbulb in his hands, or maybe in a forest, or maybe in a cabin tucked deep in the woods. (or: a purpleduo + the darkest minds au)

bona fortuna by sinoptics

The god of chance enjoys a visit to the human realm.

throw a punch by vanivanilla

there’s not much to do in prison, or: planet and jaron have a brief conversation as they reset their hunger

In Moments Alone (In His Office, With Pillows And Tissues) by Clownsplin

Although his outward appearances suggest otherwise, Clownpierce's moments alone are filled with stiff joints, aching muscles, and tear-stained cheeks. He gets small moments throughout the day when his pain lessens, even if by an infinitely small amount.

atlantis by Anonymous

Planet is stuck in a space between life and death, waiting. (A million miles away, Jaron is in the same position. A couple of feet away, Bacon had tried to run. Turns out there's not a lot to do when you can't respawn without being immediately killed)

farewell to the port by Anonymous

The day Branzy becomes a pirate he wakes up on a small island somewhere in the Caribbean, drunk out of his mind and distinctly lacking shoes.  He thinks, somewhat despairingly, that he really should not be gambling again anytime soon.  or, The Golden Age of Piracy, and the situations and decisions that drive people to become outlaws.

lose the battles by Felix_J

"you lost." it states. unless there are any more tricks up planet's sleeve, which there shouldn't be. but planet... is a strange one. "thanks." they say, and that's right, that is a full blown smile. krow still can't figure out exactly how planet's expression works, but this piece shines out, same as his eyes shine. "thank you." planet repeats, like they're not sure krow heard, or do know it can't exactly believe its ears.

Phantom in Your Foyer by arospecitzsubz (Octaveice)

Half the damn crowd had been cheering.

Kiss me in the corridor, but quick to tell me goodbye (You say that you're no good for me) by Mx_Artemis

Ash is no stranger to evil, nor is he a stranger to ClownPierce. Honestly, is it such a crime that he wants to catch up with him?

The immortal and his assassin by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

He opened the door without any theatrics, no slow creak open or dramatic swing wide, he simply opened it like he was an old friend visiting a familiar face. And- Hold up, that is a familiar face. The soon-to-be-dead man was sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes shut as he slowly sipped at his cup of tea. He opened his eyes lazily, half-lidded gaze settling on Clown’s face in a way that made him feel as if he had been drenched in freezing cold water. Because he had killed his man before.

no hard feelings by sinoptics

“Hey, Redd,” Clown starts as he reaches Redd, voice ever so slightly out of breath, and then he pauses awkwardly. “So.” “So?” Redd repeats, confused as to where this is going to go. “Our arrangement is off. From now on.” Clown states. What the fuck.

or; the fic in which Clownpierce fumbles not one but two bad bitches

anything you say can and will be held against you by Felix_J

It's funny to see how Red tries to process the little things and guess if they belong to Ash, or Ash's persona that doesn't differ from him as much as he thinks, or maybe much more so, or just things Ash makes up. Ash likes to add a lot to the last pile. Poke around, like a little challenge, reminder he's not all that easy. Currently, with the fucking fish. roses and smoke week, day 6: aquarium | fantasy

For that star trapped in your chest by dogdomesticated

Thunderclouds. Stuck waiting around for Vitalasy to show up, Subz goes down a line of thinking he's been avoiding, and by then it's too late. Something about trust, something about defining what you can't see. Light, and where to find it.

The Boy and The Forest by BearAndHoney

As the tale goes there is a boy who wants to be king adn loved. And as the tale goes there is a forest full of mysteries that one else has been brave enough to explore.

the fox's young master by Felix_J

He finds a fox in the forest, dark fur-broken leg, and it reminds him, as it always does. He takes it home to fix it up, and it doesn't matter if it's just a mindless creature, if. To pass its time, he tells it a story. roses and smoke week, day 3: myths | gods

foreguess by Felix_J

I'd never go on dates just like that, after being married so long, you know that, Ash? Red'd move his head on the seat, and he wouldn't be able to see his eyes through the sunglasses. What's even the point of that kinda date? He would continue, not really ask, because of course he has to poke and argue, it always goes in a loop. Even though he knows, and he agrees with Ash. Thanks, Red, Ash'd answer and break it, because there'd be something in his stomach that's so soft, there is. roses and smoke week, day 2: swap | horror

predictable shows by Felix_J

"I'm rewatching the footage for the auditions, yeah." Red nods, slack. He considers picking the remote from his hands to push unpause, but doesn't think Ash won't find it a serious offence and make it end up on the floor in a corner at all. or, "one of them is lying" boosfer + swagdoons swap. roses and smoke week, day 2: swap | horror

The Mourner by Anonymous

The mourner stands in the open, partially hidden in the smoke. Holding out a bouquet of roses as they wait for their loved on to return.

Case #091413 - Always Bet On Red by orphan_account

Case #091413 Statement of… Branzy? No last name given apparently, about a relationship of unclear nature with someone only known as “Clown”. Dated September 13th 2014, recorded by Zachery Prince at the Institute Cordum.

little comforts by sinoptics

He turns to Vitalasy then, who’s tending a pot on the stove. “Hey, uh,” He starts, and Vitalasy makes a hum of acknowledgement. “Zam could probably use some affection.”

Mutual Hell by Kappuccinokat

Mapicc exhaled, frustrated, and stood up, walking over to the empty window. Zam tried not to relax too much. “I’m assuming this is hell, then.” He drummed his fingers on the window sill. “That’s what I gathered, yeah.” — Or; Zam had lost it all, and now as he awaits his fate in hell, a familiar face threatens to break his resolve.

Homemade Headache Cures by ros_is_writing

“Vitalasy,” Subz announced. “I can’t fucking see, and it fucking hurts.” He emphasized his point by knocking his head against Vitalasy’s shoulder, the metal of his armor hurt slightly. Vitalasy made another sympathetic noise in the back of his throat and bumped his chin to Subz’s head. Normally their head bumps were comforting to Subz, but now they just made his head hurt worse. Damn these fucking glasses.

Siren's Song by KingdomKey

The Phantoms are a renowned pirate crew who sail the seven seas. Their ship comes across a rocky island, and as they carefully traverse it, they come upon a strange creature. It certainly isn't friendly.

sweet dreams i'll always share with you by Anonymous/cutthesky

Red can transform into a plush version of himself (a big Minidoons). Shenanigans ensue one day as Ash and Red wait to fall asleep.

Cut it Out by Anonymous

He always had Ro and his knife, didn't he?

Lifesteal > Eastside > Create a Posting by bloodynocturne (avoxutopia)

Craigslist has always been an odd place, a collection of people in the same place; selling, buying, searching, looking to give or take something. And sometimes, there's small connections. People searching for each other in a circle, narrowly missing one another every time.

Southbound by ros_is_writing

“We could always use the above ground station,” Planet said in the same tone of voice that they used before. Nonchalant, bored even. Like they hadn’t just suggested an actual crime. “No.” Bacon said immediately. “That’s illegal.” “What’s illegal?” Jaron asked.

Poopies' Fun Day in the Hypixel Pit by rainy_writez

With the end of Lifesteal season 4, Poopies the endermite (who is still here somehow because it defies the mere concept of law) has become restless. So Spoke takes it to the Hypixel Pit for a fun day of incomprehensible violence. Surprisingly, Poopies ends up leaving with a new friend… or maybe more?

losing by B0LTZ

take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong

see with your two eyes by Felix_J

He's not a god, because the flag Red sails under doesn't believe in gods. And then he's wrong. In the reasoning, not the other thing.

carry me to tomorrow by Anonymous

Ash chooses to trust himself to the unwavering night.

mixed media: flesh, electricity, bone by Anonymous

“Do you think we’re friends in other universes too?”

(hello) my old heart by Anonymous

What he doesn’t ask is why Ash chooses, over and over, to step through that door, through Lifesteal and Earthbound and the wastelands of an apocalypse. The void knows how many other worlds they’ve followed each other through without a second thought.

fun activities to do with the person you're stuck under house arrest with by oneirogen

Open heart surgery doesn’t even rank up high in the number of weird shit he’s done on this server. Maybe approaching the top tens, if he's being generous.

smile for the camera (repeat and do it over) by gin (tabanthas)

You’re an ally and an enigma at the best of times. At the worst, you are a challenge. You are never, never a friend. OR: rek and his trust issues &lt;3

divine intervention by Anonymous

"If we went through this all again," he says, and it sounds so far away. "Would we still find each other?" (Less than a metre away, Jaron stares at the sky. To his side, Bacon looks at the rubble by their feet. Even when you know it's coming, the end still feels like a loss you can't prepare for)

a parting of clouds by genesis_frog

What do you say, after all of that? Subz and Zam's first conversation after the sign room.

there will be darkness again by genesis_frog

Zam has been in the Eclipse Federation nearly a month now. Subz is getting more and more obvious by the day. Vitalasy steps in.

let me hold it lightly by genesis_frog

It’s a quiet life, outside the world border, but it’s one Zam and Subz have made for themselves.

to the previous respondee: by orioncataclysmic

IMAGE: more bolded comic sans. This time, it’s held up by washi tape, patterned with dicks. It reads: i like war and death and asthma attacks and if you don’t you’re a bitch and your moms a hoe OR: a battle of wits, told through an apartment corkboard, messages between Zam and Mapicc, and glimpses into Mapicc and Bacon's lives

Steam Heart by enderpearlnecklace

After sneaking onto an airship full of pirates, Branzy tries to find a way to escape.

Dear Diary: Today, I killed someone by Fey_wilde

Squiddo prides herself on her excellent memory. It’s one of her only positive attributes, one she can count on in nearly every situation. In just a blink of the eye, she can recall a story, an adventure. Every single bit of data crams itself into her head, sorting into neat piles, ones she can sift through with speed and efficiency. Mobs, history, abandoned places, extinct worlds, glitches, she knows them all. Her memory never fails. Yet, no matter how hard she tries, no matter how many hours she spends lying awake, unseeing eyes staring at the ceiling of her makeshift base, she just can’t remember why. Why did I join Lifesteal?

New Years Eve by Nox_aMillion

Going to the roof was a tradition the two of them had for New Years because apparently they liked extreme parkour off a roof while fireworks actively went off. Or the privacy was nice. Something like that.

Halloween Night by Nox_aMillion

Honestly they had done everything else there was to do on Halloween at this point. They were even dressed in repeat costumes, Red as a demon and Ash as a vampire. (Yes they could be more creative but any costume was a costume.) The two had been coming back from a fear farm when Red mentioned that there was a party at this house tonight. It was nearly two in the morning by the time they got here but the party was still going strong. Parties in houses like this didn’t end until the police got there.

[saltymongoose]

Hey! I really like your headcanons and I wanted to send you send! Yandere Hank and Sheriff's older sister/brother Reader,who has a tough temper with everyone except his brother I would like to see how you implement this idea, and I apologize in advance for mistakes, English is not my native language.

Hello Anon, I really enjoyed this request, so thank you for sending it in. I hope you enjoy these (along with the rest of y'all of course). Your English is also really good, so don't worry! :) <3

The Start of an Extremely Unconventional "Relationship"

(SUM: Hank falls for Sheriff's Older Sibling who wants less than nothing to do with him.)

[TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior, Violence, Mentions of Blood and Injuries, Major Character Death (It's Hank, so nbd), Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics, the Reader is extremely tired.]

▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ▭ׂ▬ׅ

When you were both growing up together, you’d always acted as another sort of guardian for Sheriff. It was only natural that you did so, as his oldest sibling and the first he could turn to whenever he got himself into trouble. Which happened a lot.

Whenever Sheriff got into a fight with his bullies or messed with someone he really shouldn’t have, you were the one he ran to when he realized he wasn’t a match for them. You couldn’t name the number of times you had to break someone’s nose or threaten them on his behalf.

However, even if you scolded Sheriff afterward for getting into all of the messes he did, you were happy to help him take care of them. It was just part of your responsibility to do so in your perspective, as his eldest sibling.

Plus, it’s not like it impacted your reputation that much to get into fights so often. People were kind of put off by your cold persona anyway, and you really couldn’t care less if they thought worse about you because you protected your family. (It’s not like anyone would fault you for having a soft spot for your troublemaker of a brother, but it did make how harsh you were to everyone else in school more jarring. Or was it the other way around?)

That’s not all either, since it’s not like Sheriff’s issues started and ended in physical fights.

You wouldn’t say that Sheriff was stupid - in fact, you’d argue vehemently that he was a very intelligent young man. But he was also the sort of person who had more “horse sense” than book smarts; intellectual in the way of the real world rather than the theoretical and strictly mathematical. Luckily, you had more than enough sense of both, so tutoring him was also one of your numerous tasks when your parents didn’t have time to.

Needless to say, Sheriff really admired you for how much you knew, and deeply appreciated you for what you did for him. Not only did you help him through his school, but you also protected him and even taught him to shoot when you figured he was old enough to handle a gun.

While you eased off on helping him so he could grow independent as you both got older, he still longed to make you proud - to prove to you (and himself) that the effort you and your parents put into raising him was worth it. This was one of the reasons he sought a lofty job in law enforcement, since he figured that type of authority would suit him and make him live up to these ideals you instilled in him.

However, he really reconsidered his choice of career when it brought you to the person he’d considered his nemesis, and the very same grunt who’d murdered him in cold blood: Hank J. Wimbleton.

Your first meeting with the mercenary was violent, but neither of you would’ve expected anything less. For Hank, it was a routine task of tracking down the Sheriff and trying to get rid of him. Or maybe he was just feeling particularly vengeful that day, you didn’t really know.

What you did know was that Hank’s first gaze upon you was short-lived but weirdly stifling. If anything, it was difficult to illustrate how oddly frozen he became when your furious glare met the red lenses of his goggles. It’s almost like seeing you was enough to force him to just stand there in the doorway as you blocked him from getting to your brother (who himself was tugging on your arm to try to get you to flee with him). 

He had his weapons out but he wasn’t actually doing anything with them, simply looking straight at you. Your dark leer didn’t earn any reactions, but the fact that you couldn’t make out anything about what the mercenary was feeling was very disconcerting. You were used to his violent side after hearing about it from your brother, so the absence of it was almost unwelcome.

For those few seconds, you felt an unsettling amount of dread.

In actuality though, Hank had been staring at you not just because you were an obstacle in his way, but because you were just so pretty he didn’t know what else to do.

It goes without saying at this point that he wasn’t someone who usually cared for physical appearances, but for some reason, you just struck him as someone that had to be admired, even by him. (No, especially by him, as he’d come to surmise.)

Maybe it was the controlled hate you clearly held for him within your eyes or the way your plush lips curled in a show of silent contempt. It could’ve even been the way you seemed so sure of yourself and your capabilities when you quickly aimed your shotgun right at him. He couldn’t pin down why you suddenly interested him so much, but that hardly mattered. Nothing seemed to now, except for satisfying this curiosity, no, want for more tantalizing reactions from you.

If you seemed so aggressive now, he wondered how violent you could really get. Perhaps you'd end up like him?

You were obviously more concerned about the safety of the Sheriff than you were afraid of him, which only made you more eye-catching. Breathtaking, even. Though you didn’t exactly give Hank much time to admire you.

Even if you’d been Sheriff’s role model, you truly weren’t anything like him; you preferred to take care of these sorts of issues as soon as they arose. Which in this case, meant taking advantage of Hank’s frozen state to fill his torso with buckshot until you knew he wouldn’t be moving again. 

You’re not sure if it’s because he let you or because you just got lucky betting on his incompetence this time, but you had killed him. That much you know for sure. However, because this is Hank, you taking his life wouldn’t be the end of it - it couldn’t be. Not when he was already so smitten with you at first glance.

(Neither you nor Sheriff thought that the event would be so impactful in the long run. Your brother was horrified of course, and panicked to you for days on end about how this would put you on Hank’s “list” as another loose end to tie up. You couldn’t help but laugh when he said that, which’d make him even more indignant and even pushy about it. You honestly couldn’t believe that Hank would have much of an interest in you, even after you managed to kill him. At most, you thought that he might make you into “collateral damage” if you were there when he attacked your brother again, but that wasn’t anything special.)

The thing is, the Sheriff was actually right. Just not in the way he thought, no, if anything the result was far, far worse than he could have predicted.

Hank was an unwelcome constant in your life after that. The bloody first meeting was replicated many times for months on end, as he deliberately sought you out for reasons unknown to you. You’d have agreed with Sheriff’s assessment of you being some problem for Hank to be rid of - perhaps even a new target by the S.Q. considering you might be a threat now. Unfortunately, that idea was defeated by the simple fact that Hank never took the first shot.

He’d simply barge (or break) into wherever you were, no matter what you were doing, and stare at you until you made the first move. It was genuinely bewildering, not only because you still didn’t know why the hell he bothered, but also because he didn’t massacre anyone else who was in the immediate vicinity of you. He just seemed satisfied being in your presence, even shaking excitedly whenever he saw your brooding form walk by. You really didn’t get it.

If you were in a good mood you’d just try to ignore him, but busying yourself with your job or simply pretending he wasn’t there could only work for so long. He just craved your attention for some reason; even if it led to blood being spilled, so long as he has some form of a reaction from you, he’s pleased with himself.

So he put himself in your way and disrupted you, mostly in a physical fashion. Seeing your expression twitch from that coldness you give everyone else filled him with an unfamiliar satisfaction, and the dark anger when he’s provoked you enough to deal with him was even better.

It felt good to be treated differently from everyone else this way, since he knows most of your workers are too inept to take the aggression that you’re capable of. Plus, to his absolute delight, you weren’t difficult for him to tick off. He knew you’d leap at the opportunity to put an end to your brother’s murderer. (Something he knew from Doc’s info about you, of course. For once the grunt was good for something other than giving him work and keeping him alive. Now if only he could get him to stop asking about you.)

Though, perhaps if you knew how much Hank truly reveled in feeling the true extent of your hatred towards him though, you would’ve made the decision not to engage in him so much.

Every bullet, burn, and stab wound was almost a gift from you in his eyes. The scars you left behind in your rage would be traced by his hands carefully after Doc had finished stitching him back together again. He didn’t know if what he felt for you was love (yet), but he adored the artful bruises and marks you left on him, and savored the more permanent indents you left in his flesh. Each commemorated one of his precious meetings and fights with you, so why wouldn’t he? He wondered now if you treasured the little nicks he accidentally left on you the same way.

(He knew you probably didn’t hold the same sort of infatuation for him, but he didn’t care. These were signs enough of the passion you must’ve had. After all, there is a very thin line between hate and love from what he’s heard, and with how vicious you were, you must’ve held a lot for him. He’s flattered.)

On the other hand, you simply found him as a very stressful, expensive annoyance. You could deal with the confusion from his lack of intent to seriously harm you (even if it was mind-numbing to consider, for someone like him). What you couldn’t deal with was the acts themselves and how he continued to be a nuisance in your life.

For one, it often led to you having to clean up the area that he’d broken into, because he never cared if you were busy at your job or just minding your own business at home. This also led to people like your coworkers and neighbors speculating and prodding you on how you knew him, which was another nuisance entirely. You don’t have any answers for them, which only makes their incessant questioning worse. Headaches are common for you now.

(It’s not like it would be very believable to say that he liked you enough to pester you. You didn’t even know if Hank could like people, and you really didn’t care enough to ask him what he thought of you. It already seems like it would be trouble if he believes you’re interested in anything about him. He already does, unbeknownst to you.)

It was also too much work to simply fight him in your opinion, even if you willfully did so. You just loathed having to waste the effort to get rid of him even for a little bit. It became so bad that you even griped openly to him about how you hated having to waste your precious ammo and medical supplies on a fight that wasn’t even worth it. Why would it be, to battle an enemy that never stays dead?

(You grimaced when you searched his now-cold body to find extra shotgun shells and packaged slugs, accompanied by a note holding a scribble of a heart drawn in scratchy red ink. He was giving you gifts now, ugh. And what the hell could that heart possibly mean? Did this mean he actually liked you or was this some sick psyop to catch you off guard and get him a win next time? You aren’t sure which is worse.)

Plus, to make matters worse, your brother also caught wind of it and it nearly gave him a heart attack. You, his dear older sibling, being under the scrutiny of Hank was the furthest thing from what he wanted. He knows you got into this just to protect him, and he feels almost nauseous with guilt over it already. So now you have to both reassure Sheriff that it’s not his fault (it’s not like he could possibly know just how delusional Hank was), in addition to risking your own life for practically nothing.

In contrast, however, Hank absolutely loves his interactions with you. Violence is his favorite thing to take part in, so if anything he considers these to be like little bonding sessions together.

He knows deep down that you two are far closer than that after all the time you’ve spent together, even if you’d deny it. The side you show him when you engage in your rather violent trysts is one you haven’t shown anyone else (mainly because there hasn’t been anyone you’ve genuinely hated so badly), so he knows that he knows you better than any other grunt.

Hank accepts you for who you truly are, despite how much you resist his strange “affections”. Besides, he knows what the two of you have is special. There’s nobody else in Nevada who can be yours to harm and come back from the grave so many times, just as he’s never enjoyed being at the mercy of someone else when in combat. Your connection was just unique like that, and he knew you had to have at least some inkling of similar feelings. It’s almost like you were made for each other, in a way. To him, you were so alike in your rage, no matter how much you’d despise that thought.

(He remembered how his hands trembled as he placed them over yours, the combat knife you held just inches away from his stomach You’d been getting better at this; you’d managed to nearly gut him within only a few minutes. He was proud, and he figured you should be too.

“You enjoy this,” he rasped and your frown deepened. “Fighting me. You put so much work into it, and I can see it.”

“Killing you.” You corrected simply, twisting your wrist to break his hold with a huff. “I enjoy killing you. And I’d love it more if you’d fucking stay dead, you prick.”)

Eventually, Hank even begins to want more than what you have now. Those minutes he spends in your presence whenever he, well, has time to die, simply aren’t enough. He knows it’s one thing to see you in your element battling it out with him, but now he feels the need to observe every other facet of your being. Which, of course, means spending a lot more quality time together.

Hank can be stealthy, but he’s not even trying to hide how he’s keeping tabs on you. If you’re at work, then he’s a customer, if you’re at home, he’s a guest, and if you’re visiting your family, he’s your chaperone. You just can’t put a stop to the constant visits he makes to do nothing but look at you. His place is that of an unwelcome voyeur into the once-peaceful routine of your daily life.

(Again, Sheriff is completely fear-stricken when he sees you walk in side-by-side with his killer. He knows you’d never let anything happen to him, but the shock of it is almost too much for him to handle. It’s obvious that you’re just as confused as he is, but you mask it with indignation at having to put up with the tall merc for longer than you normally have to.)

Usually, you have no issue starting an altercation just to get rid of Hank, but you really don’t want to do that around others more than necessary. Of course this just emboldens your acquaintances to ask about why a well-known murderer is following you around like some sort of gore-covered lost puppy.

(“So…like, why is he here?” Your coworker whispers to you in a panic, feeling a shudder roll down them when Hank stares at them. They can practically feel the rage he has, and for what? Speaking to you? Existing?

You respond with a blank stare, and it's now that they notice how exhausted you appear. “He would not still be here if I knew of a reason why.” It was a vague, non-responsive answer, but when they opened their mouth to question further, the sharp look you gave them was enough to make them drop it. Even in the oddest situations, you still seemed the same. It didn’t stop your…companion from threatening them later though.)

That was yet another issue for you to deal with; his weird possessiveness over you. Even after you were more or less forced to put up with him being there more permanently, he still seemed to want some sort of monopoly on your attention.

You had assumed whatever connection between you two was built purely on mutual dislike of the other; there was no other reason why he decided to fight you those many dozen times. Yet, here he was, leering at everyone you interacted with until they decided to flee the immediate area, or damn-near growling whenever they had the nerve to touch you.

In Hank’s mind, he really doesn’t question why he feels so protective over you, and almost jealous when he’s not the object of your attention. It just seems so natural that he doesn’t think it’s odd at all. From his perspective, you’re the only person who could ever have such a hold on him, so it makes complete sense that he’s the only one deserving of all of your time.

Plus, those people get in the way of his objective here anyway; to file away every piece of knowledge he can get from simply watching you. You’re too wary to act like he’s not there, even if you try to pretend you can. However, he’s found that he just enjoys the sight of you simply being, even if it’s not completely natural on your part. It’s far from the fulfillment he gets when you’re trading blows, but enough to sate that part of him that hungers for you.

In the end, he doesn’t know whether or not you’ll ever fully return these feelings he has for you, but he doesn’t find that he cares that much. He’ll continue to be around you regardless; so long as you can tolerate him this much, anything further is just a bonus. (One that he might secretly hope for, but he won't stake much a chance on it.)

To you, it's obvious Hank wants something, but you can’t pin down what. (In your dread, you’re not even sure you want to.) It seems like he gets his fill by being near you somehow, which is less of a relief than you initially assumed it would be. What was once solely comprised of violence eventually became a terse existence in each other’s presence that was just as tiring as the former. The silver lining for you was that you could keep him away from Sheriff with little effort, and for that, you were actually happy. You could put up with this to keep him safe, you reasoned, no matter how bad it got. Which it likely would.

Considering how in the dark you were about Hank in general, you had no idea of the deeper feelings and morbid fascination he had for you, but it’s imminent for you to find out. After all, Hank’s intention to become a permanent fixture in your life came along with his need to be even closer to you than he is now. And once he finds a way to, there’ll be nothing stopping him from keeping you and your enthralling reactions to himself. Forever.

[sapphire-weapon]

Leon getting into a relationship with Ashley would be one of the greatest things in the world to ever happen to him if he took up her offer.

She is the ray of sunlight that cuts through his dark nights, she's salvation for a damned man, and someone who is careful and attentive to his sensitive heart.

I honestly feel that Ashley is the only one who could give him the clearest cut path to getting back to himself. To where he can leave himself unarmed and drop his defenses, and be okay with that again.

Capcom has a golden opportunity to make this happen if they make good on Ashley's interest in becoming an agent, herself, wanting to be Leon's partner.

Imagine how bright a future Leon would have if he allowed himself to be happy with someone who's all in it for him.

I agree with you 100% until the agent part.

I don't think Ashley will become an agent, and I don't think she should, either. Even ignoring the inherent tragedy that exists when a non-violent person turns to violence, if she heads down that road, at some point, the truth about Leon is going to come out -- and once she finds out that he's doing this all against his will, she won't want anything to do with it.

If anything, I see her being stricken by Sherry's story and the tragedy of the found family that never was, and I see Ashley turning to civil service, instead. It might be too late to reunite Sherry and Leon in a meaningful way, but she can work towards making sure that situation never happens again.

But I also don't think that she was serious about wanting to become an agent in the first place. I think she was just spitballing ideas for ways that she and Leon can continue a relationship once this mission is over. And when he's less than enthused with -- and even kind of bothered by -- her suggestion, she lets it drop immediately without a fight with a "you're no fun."

What I do actually think could happen is that, at some point in the probably near future after President Graham resigns, Ashley reaches out to Leon in an attempt to join the fight against bioterrorism -- and he'd probably set her up to meet with Claire. Even though Claire and Leon are traveling down different paths in this fight, and sometimes their objectives clash with one another (see: the ending of Infinite Darkness), he recognizes the work that she's doing as being vital -- and, most importantly, it's non-violent work (though, Claire, being a Redfield, puts herself in dangerous situations anyway but that's beside the point lmao).

Of course, this is all just theoretical "what-ifs" assuming that the remakes are a completely new timeline and will do something different from the storyline of OG canon -- which, they won't, because they're just remakes and not a separate series, and Capcom is still building onto the OG story. We know, of course, that Ashley just falls away from the story and out of Leon's life, and that's the end of it. And it'd be weird to bring her back into the story out of nowhere after being completely absent from it for 11 years canonically (Death Island takes places in 2015). She's not Rebecca Chambers or Barry Burton; she's not a main character that they'd be willing to bring back suddenly after a long absence. (We'll see Billy Coen show up again before Ashley Graham makes another appearance.) So we'll very likely never see her again, and none of this matters anyway. But it's still fun to think about.

I do think that you can make a case for a direct correlation between Ashley disappearing from Leon's life and his gradual descent into a bottle of Jack Daniels, though. Everyone in the RE universe is so wrapped up in their own bullshit that they don't take the time to check in with each other the way they probably should. The only two people who stay close to each other and take care of one another are Chris and Jill, and that's because of the partnership they'd already had before everything went to shit.

But let's take a look at Leon's "partners" throughout the years: Ada, Hunnigan, Luis, Krauser, Ashley, and Helena. Luis and Krauser are self-explanatory lmao you can't be in someone's life if you're dead (and also fucking insane, in Krauser's case). Helena and Leon work in two separate branches of federal law enforcement, so their partnership is over after RE6 ends. Leon and Hunnigan seem to have a relationship that's so professional that I'd be willing to bet they've only met in person a handful of times. Ada is... Ada. That's a whole fuckin can of worms we won't go into as much as I'd like to go off on a rant about how Damnation confirming that he fucked her at some point prior to that movie is the most egregious act of self-harm he ever engaged in and absolutely sped up his downward spiral into full-blown alcoholism.

And then there's Ashley. The only person on this list who could have theoretically stayed in Leon's life after their ordeal together, because there really is nothing tangible actually keeping them apart, but... doesn't. And there is absolutely nothing in her character that indicates that she was the one who pulled away from him. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that she fought like hell to try to stay in his life. But he pushed her away. And, because it's Leon, he probably didn't do it maliciously; it was probably done out of a sense of professionalism paired with an unconscious self-destructive reaction tendency born from a lifetime of trauma.

But, even in OG? Leon's interactions with Ashley are the most "normal" he seems to feel and act after RE2. After RE4, he's never that warm, playful, or expressive again. Leon becomes more and more emotionally closed off until, eventually, Chris Redfield is screaming at his drunk ass in an empty bar in the middle of the day because he's too hammered to properly follow a conversation, and the only emotions he ever shows outwardly anymore are frustration and sorrow.

Ashley was an anchor to reality for him. She was arguably the first and only one since Sherry to make him feel like he was actually a person and not just a sophisticated weapon in the US's arsenal to be pulled out and used when necessary until broken.

And that probably scared the shit out of him. For multiple reasons. So he pushed her away, and that was the end of that. (It was an unfortunate side effect from the dramatic change he underwent between RE2 and RE4.)

But imagine a version of events where he didn't do that -- where he was brave enough to be vulnerable enough to actually keep her in his life. Do you really think he still would've developed a drinking habit that eventually turned into a full-blown problem? Because I don't. Sometimes, all it takes is just that one person -- that one person who loves you, that one person who inspires you to keep going. And Ashley believed in him more than anyone. He would've kept his head above water for her sake, and he'd have been better off for it.

I honestly believe, especially after RE4make, that Ashley was/could've been the love of Leon's life, but he was just too fucking scared and up his own asshole in his misery to even think to give it a chance. She brings out the best in him in ways that literally no one else does in the entire rest of the series. And they have a relationship unlike any other that Leon has with anyone else -- it's one that was built on a foundation of explicit trust and only grew from there.

Leon and Ashley trust each other on the same level that Chris and Jill do. Maybe even more. They had to, in order to make it out of Spain that unnamed European country alive. And, at no point ever, is that trust ever tarnished, damaged, or betrayed. To even just call them "partners" feels like an understatement. In remake, by the end of the game, they're two parts of the same machine working in tandem towards the same goal.

He would've kept lifting her up, and she would've kept him honest if they'd stayed in contact after RE4. And, having her to come home to, he would've been able to breathe a little easier between missions. The weight wouldn't feel as crushing. She'd be a constant reminder that he wasn't a complete failure, and that there are still things in this world worth fighting for. There was a potential for happiness there that he threw away, because he simply couldn't see it at the time.

Because, here's the thing. By the time of Vendetta, Leon has become so beaten down and mired in his own failures that he's started to believe that his only legacy is death. But that's not true. Ashley is his legacy. Everything she does, and everything she is, and every act that she performs to make the world a better place (and you gotta believe she's actively doing her part), is only possible because of him. And he loses sight of that, the same way he lost sight of it with Sherry (do nOT GET ME STARTED ON HIM FUCKING ADMITTING HE HADN'T TALKED TO HER IN AT LEAST 3 YEARS BY THE START OF RE6 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME LEON).

And, don't get me wrong. I get why he did it. I understand why he wanted to pull away from Ashley, especially right after returning home -- but to not go back to her -- to purposefully make the conscious decision to keep her out of his life? Is to also purposefully leave the "What're you, my mother?"/"I knew you'd be fine if you landed on your butt" part of him behind.

I've long since said that Leon never actually truly escaped Raccoon City -- that some part of him did bleed to death in the sewers after being shot and was left there forever. And I think that's true for his relationship with Ashley, too. Cutting her out of his life also forced him to cut a piece of himself off in order to create that break, and she's still carrying it with her.

And if he'd just pick up the phone and fucking call her, she might bring that little piece of him back with her. And maybe, for the first time in a long time, he'd remember how to take a moment and breathe and laugh at some dumb bullshit, and it'd allow him to see a world and a life outside of the constant horror show of bioterrorism. Maybe he'd remember what it was like to actually feel sexy, and maybe he'd start to feel like a person again. And maybe -- just maybe -- he'd finally see that "home" isn't the country that he slavishly (literally) serves to thanklessly protect -- but that it's a person, and her name is Ashley Graham.

[ladytauria]

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

🤔hmmm

so in recent years i've mostly stopped posting wips bc, despite the best of intentions i have a hard time finishing them lol

buuut. looking through my drafts...

there are a couple i don't see myself working on again any time soon lmao.

two in particular stand out. one is a selkie!jason wip & the other is one that was, according to my notes, inspired by a fancomic. past me did not think to leave a link to this comic, bc she's helpful like that <3

the latter wip takes place at a winter gala. tim is by himself, keeping an eye on the others & making his rounds through the gala, checking off a mental list of people to talk to. he's kinda starting to flag, though; keeping up his timothy drake-wayne personality through so many conversations is kinda taking a toll on him.

and as he's mid conversation with one of the people on his list--

“Excuse me.” Tim catches a whiff of expensive cologne, chased by gunpowder, smoke, and leather. A warm hand finds the small of his back, and—almost without his own permission—he finds himself relaxing into it. “I hate to interrupt, but—” Jason steps into view, dressed to the nines in a perfectly fitted tux and deep red waistcoat. His hair is artfully messy; a roguish smile on his face. “Could I have this dance?” He cocks his brow. Tim knows him well enough to see the nerves—the sheepishness in his eyes, the way he braces himself for rejection. He doesn’t have anything to worry about. Tim is helplessly, hopelessly endeared. He barely manages to tamp down on his grin, keeping his answering smile something more polite.

their relationship at this point is still new and tentative--it started when one of their cases crossed, and each realized the other was working a lot of hard, dangerous cases with little to no back up. which was fine when they were doing it, but not so fine that the other is. u know. the usual :P

so they start working together. mostly. but then jason gets injured doing something dumb, without calling for tim like he should have. and tim reminds him that they'r partners. the whole point of them teaming up was that neither of them is supposed to be fighting alone anymore.

which---when tim asks why jason is at the gala, when he hates them & also has no reason to be there since he's not been legally resurrected... jason tells him more or less the same thing.

"we're partners, right? no more fighting alone."

and then tim kisses him in front of everyone, not caring even a little bit that it will probably be all over the society pages the next morning <3

but! i have two issues with this fic. issue a) writing the gala. and then issue b) it almost feels like it should be a scene in a longer work, so i can work that backstory in? but i don't... really have a plot. i could probably make it work anyway, but! i dunno. right now too many other wips have my attention so even if i don't abandon this one entirely, it will be a long time before i pick it back up.

and then the selkie!jason wip is p easy to explain. i had an idea for a single, solitary, poignant scene and utterly NO ideas for the plot that would lead UP TO that lovely scene.

so.

here's the scene, which would, theoretically, be the closing lines:

Jason runs his thumb over his coat, the leather of its disguise buttery soft, and watches Tim. He’s utterly at ease on Jason’s couch, scrolling through his phone, one arm dangling off the armrest. Jason swallows, stomach twisting with nerves. He takes a breath—in through the nose, out through the mouth. Then, he strides forward, clenching his coat a bit tighter. He kneels in front of Tim, capturing his attention. His phone falls to the side as Tim’s brows furrow. Before he can ask what Jason is doing, Jason unfurls his coat, wrapping it around Tim’s shoulders. His eyes grow wide. “Ja— wh—“ Jason can feel the heat on his face. Knows he has to be pink, at the very least. But he doesn’t stop, tugging Tim forward and into the briefest, chastest kiss before resting their foreheads together. “Caught you,” he murmurs. The smile he receives is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

context? ur guess is as good as mine <3

[ fanfic writer ask game ]

[lightandheatao3]

The Bunker - Criminal Minds

Chapter 2: The Inevitable

Summary: Spencer Reid wakes up in a locked bunker to find half the current BAU and two of its departed members unconscious on the floor. The old team is back together but the reunion is not what any of them would have wished for. An Unsub from their past has decided it's time they all stop keeping secrets, even if it means exposing them by force.

Hotch and Derek have been pulled back into a world they tried to escape. Emily, Rossi, and JJ are doing their best to keep it together. Spencer is falling apart.

AKA a found family is reunited and forced to go through the most nightmarish version of family therapy imaginable.

Set months after the end of Criminal Minds: Evolution. Evolution referenced, but not necessary to understand the story.

Chapter Summary: Spencer knows what's about to happen. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean he's prepared to deal with it

Read chapter 2 on AO3 or under the cut. All comments and reblogs are so appreciated <3

Chapter 1 link

There was no sunlight. No clocks on the wall. They had been stripped of their watches and phones. They had no way of being certain how long they’d been trapped.

Spencer had a pretty good idea, though. Cool air flowed in from the small vent in the roof but sweat beaded on his brow.

They were all sat leaned against various sections of wall. The room was big enough that they had to raise their voices slightly to ensure they were heard from the opposite wall.

“Are you doing alright, Spence?” asked JJ, then rolled her eyes at herself for the asinine question, given their current situation. “I mean, relatively speaking, obviously. You look a little pale.”

“Just exhausted,” he said.

Please please please someone break the door down and let them out.

They had spent a long time analyzing the note and had come to the conclusion that whoever wrote and delivered the note was a woman. The hand size, the passive language, the fixation on teaching them a lesson. The apparent belief that she was helping them, justifying her cruelty with compassion. All of it added up to a female Unsub.

They had debated heavily if she might have an accomplice. It would have taken a significant degree of physical strength to subdue them all. Even intravenous drugs don’t knock someone out instantaneously. In addition, the site of injection was incredibly precise and nearly identical on each of them. This would only be possible by holding them very still, likely with a headlock from behind.

An accomplice certainly seemed possible, but at this stage they had no hard evidence to support it.

Everyone looked to Spencer to compile a mental list of all female Unsubs they dealt with while the team was in this particular configuration. Nobody quite fit the profile.

Antonia Slade was intelligent enough and had a history of taking her victims in to care for them before she killed them, but she wouldn’t hide behind a door. She would gloat. He wouldn’t put it past Lindsey Vaughn. She was resourceful. It’s not her MO, but she’d been known to be adaptable when a good opportunity to fuck with them presented itself. But that didn’t explain why she’d gone after them but not Luke and Tara, who she’d also dealt with.

Spencer pointed out to the team he kept tabs on Vaughn in prison, given everything that happened in Mexico. She could theoretically operate via proxy, but he was pretty confident she wasn’t their Unsub.

Truthfully, there were no good candidates. Whoever was doing this was going to need to give them something more to go off if they wanted a chance of piecing it together.

The fluorescent lights buzzed.

Once again he was living under the looming threat of violence and death but all he could think about was how terrified he was to be seen by the people he loved.

There were too many people in too small a space. He had his arms crossed tightly over his midriff to hide the fact his hands were shaking.

Everyone agreed there was no merit to speculating on what secrets she was referencing. For all they knew that was her plan. Get them to reveal information she could use against them, or get them fighting amongst themselves.

There was an invisible ticking clock. Spencer could hear it like it was real. Each second that ticked by was one closer to the moment where his most pressing secret revealed itself anyway thanks to his uncooperative body.

Nobody had spoken for a long time when Rossi piped up, “When do you think dinner is?”

They all stared at him. Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Feeling peckish?”

“If she wants to keep us imprisoned for the duration, surely she plans to feed us.” He looked up at the camera on the roof and raised his voice. “If you’re taking orders, I would love osso buco and a glass of the ’95 Chateaux Latour!”

JJ laughed. “Could you throw in a carbonara for me?”

“And a carbonara!” he demanded from the camera. “Real egg, none of that cream shit.” He looked around the room. “Any other orders? I hear the food here is excellent.”

“Ribeye on the bone, medium rare, a side of fries with a Bearnaise sauce,” said Derek, closing his eyes and giving a satisfied sigh.

“Oh, that’s a good one,” said JJ.

“Yeah, I’ll have what he’s having,” said Emily. “Throw in a pinot for me.”

“What vintage?” asked Rossi.

“Whatever one tastes best chugged straight from the bottle.”

Spencer smiled at them. Truthfully the thought of food was making his stomach turn violently, but he played anyway. “I’ll take a cheeseburger from Bernard's Burgers,” he said simply.

The others hummed in approval. They all cast their eyes to Hotch. He hesitated. Eventually, he said, “There’s a seafood restaurant a couple of blocks from where I live that has the best lobster you’ll ever try. You wouldn’t expect it from a landlocked state, but there’s nothing like it.”

Everyone nodded, satisfied with their imaginary feast.

“Not to keep bugging you, kid, but are you sure you’re alright?” asked Derek. “You’re not looking so hot.”

“I’m fine,” he said. “I’ve been kind of off the last couple of days. I might be coming down with something. Sorry if you all catch it,” he said with his best impression of sincerity.

Derek made an ‘oof’ noise. “How’s that for timing?” he asked lightheartedly, though his eyes lingered longer than was entirely comfortable.

After another moment Rossi spoke again. “How long do you think we’ve been in here?”

“14 hours since we woke up,” said Spencer without missing a beat.

They all stared at him. “How the hell do you do that?” said Rossi, impressed.

He shrugged. Truthfully, he didn’t have the best internal clock. It was very easy for him to get lost in thought and lose track of time. The piercing headache and rising nausea were making him acutely aware of every passing minute.

That was how it went with this sort of thing. You had to develop a routine, especially if you wanted to function. He knew exactly how long he could go before he started getting sick. He scheduled his entire life around it.

The Unsub had clearly figured out their routines. Even if she hadn’t, the evidence of Spencer’s habits were strew across the bedside table in the room he was taken from.

He dug his nails into his arms through his sleeves. Time was running out. It was all getting away from him.

As if the Unsub had been reading his mind, the chamber on the door opened.

Derek was faster this time, managing to get his face right up to the chamber while the external hatch was still wide open.

“Talk to us!” he yelled. “We know you’re trying to teach us a lesson,” he said, an empathetic lilt pasted onto his voice. “We just want to know more. We want you to help us understand.”

A gloved hand deposited an unmarked brown paper shopping bag. The external hatch closed. The internal one released. Derek bowed his head as their captor left with no response. “She must be positioning herself to the side of the door. I still couldn’t see anything more than a hand. She’s careful, but we knew that already.”

Derek took the bag out and they all crowded around it cautiously.

It was packed full of fruit. Emily picked up an apple, turning it over in her hand.

With all eyes focused on her, she carefully took a bite.

She chewed, then swallowed.

“It tastes normal,” she assured them. “Give it half an hour to an hour to see if it has any effects on me, but I don’t think poisoning the food fits this woman’s MO.”

“I agree,” said Hotch, taking a pear. He followed Emily’s lead and cautiously bit into it. He nodded at the others.

The first rule of being held captive was to always take your food and water where you could get it. You never knew when your supply could be cut off.

They all reached in and took a piece of fruit, including Spencer. He had no desire to eat, but he knew he had to keep his strength up and get what he could down while it was still possible.

As he took his orange, he uncovered a note at the bottom of the bag. JJ saw it too, reaching in and grabbing it before he could.

They all watched her expectantly.

“Your room must always be clean. After you eat, put the food scraps in the bag and the bag in the chamber. There are consequences for breaking rules. Now, as a reward for good behavior, I will take away the burden of lies that weighs one of you down. If Dr Reid-”

She paused, reading further down the note, furrowing her brow.

They all stared at him. He tugged at his sleeves nervously.

“Keep going,” said Emily to JJ, though her eyes were fixed firmly on him.

JJ looked at him apologetically. He looked at the floor. She continued, “If Dr Reid is sick, it is only because he is missing his medicine. I gave you all a taste of it to get you here. I hope you don’t catch his disease.”

She dropped the note like it was radioactive. She mouthed the word 'sorry' at him, knowing as well as he did the shit show that was about to errupt. Derek immediately picked the note up. He looked over it himself like he didn’t want to believe JJ had read it accurately.

He looked back at Spencer.

They were all staring at him.

Instinct told him to run, but there was nowhere for him to go. Instead he stood and waited for the concrete beneath his feet to turn to liquid and encase him.

They were waiting for him to talk first.

He couldn’t.

“What’s she talking about, pretty boy?” asked Derek, finally taking pity on him and breaking the silence.

He took a few steps back, suddenly acutely aware of how close they were after gathering around the bag of fruit. “I have no idea,” he said petulantly, cringing at himself for it.

“It’s alright, kid,” said Rossi sympathetically. “Nobody is upset, just talk to us.”

Spencer’s brain sprinted in circles. Why did the lights have to be so bright?

He tried desperately to think of some clever way to talk himself out of it even though he’d figured out hours ago that this was going to happen. This Unsub’s plan was technically impressive, but it wasn’t exactly psychologically sophisticated. She wanted to out their secrets. This one was going to out itself pretty soon anyway, so of course she'd want to get to it first.

“Spencer,” said Emily, “How sick are you going to get?”

No is it true? Or does this mean what I think it means? Straight to believing it. They didn’t even look surprised. They looked like this was only confirming what they already knew. They looked sad.

Horribly, infuriatingly sad.

He ran a hand through his hair.

“The others are going to find us,” he insisted. “It doesn’t matter.”

He wished he could believe it, but he wished they could believe it even more.

“This is why you woke up before the rest of us,” said JJ softly. “Why you weren’t as affected. It’s because your tolerance is up.”

“You guys can see what she’s doing. She’s trying to pit us against each other,” he accused, wrapping his arms tighter around himself and taking another step back. "We're just playing into her fantasy."

“Don’t think about her right now,” said Emily. “If you’re going into withdrawal then we need to know exactly what to expect. Mind games can’t take precedence over your physical safety.”

“I’ll be fine. Opioid withdrawal has a statistically low mortality rate, with only 2% of the-”

“So it is opioid withdrawal?” She tilted her head. “Look at you, Spencer. You’re shaking, your skin is clammy. You said yourself, we’ve only been in here 14 hours! If it’s this bad already, how much worse is it going to get?”

“I don’t know!” he snapped. “Yes, fine, I’m going to get sick! What do you want me to say?”

“Easy, pretty boy,” said Derek gently. “This isn't an attack. The fact is, we’re all locked in here together and this is happening whether we like it or not. We just need you to tell us exactly how bad this is going to get.”

“I don’t know,” he said shortly.

“Yes, you do,” countered Emily. “You cold give us a detailed breakdown of the symptoms, timeline, and risk factors of an opioid detox based on frequency and duration of usage. You just don’t want to admit how much and for how long you’ve been using because it’s bad, right?” she said. Typical Emily, so pragmatic. There would be plenty of time for sentiment once she had a plan, but no sooner. “This isn’t just a slip, is it? You’re shooting up again and have been for a while.”

Spencer flinched. So did everyone else.

All eyes were on him, but for some reason it was Hotch’s gaze he caught. The man hadn’t said anything the entire exchange. Just stood at the back of the group and watched carefully.

When their eyes met, Hotch gave him a tight, sympathetic smile.

Spencer looked at a spot just behind Emily’s head and spoke quietly. “I… I’ll be fine, Emily. I’ll get sick but I’ll get better. It’s not the first time. I don’t need your help.”

“Roll up your sleeves,” she demanded.

He sputtered, “What? No!”

“Emily,” said Rossi placatingly. “Take a beat.”

She ignored him. “If you won’t tell us what to expect then show us. Spencer, I know this is fucking awful and believe me this is not the way I would like to have this conversation,” she said, gesturing to the oppressive room. “I am so sorry for not seeing what was happening and helping you sooner,” she said sincerely. “The least I can do is make sure you get through this safely.”

Even as he said it, he could feel himself regretting it, but before he could stop himself, “Fuck off Emily,” had slipped out his mouth.

JJ gasped and Derek interjected with a stern “Hey! I know this sucks but do not speak to her that way.”

“It’s fine,” said Emily. “I’m not trying to be condescending, Spencer. I’m just scared. I want to help.”

She sounded excruciatingly sincere. It made his blood boil.

“No,” he snapped, stepping back again until he felt the wall hit him. “None of you were there the other times I had to do this, and now you want me to defer to your expertise? What the hell do you know? What do any of you actually know? If you wanted to do an intervention you should have done it after Tobias Hankle, but none of you said anything and I don’t need you like that anymore,” he spat.

Emily’s eyes were wide with shock.

Spencer's words surprised himself just as much as the rest of them.

“I’m sorry,” she said, taken aback. “You’re right. I should have said something back then.”

Guilt twisted its way through the panic and rage, settling into his chest.

They were all trapped down there together and here he was punishing Emily for caring. He tried his best to hold onto the anger. To wrap himself in it. He could feel it slipping away.

Hotch stepped forward. Spencer had almost forgotten he was there.

“I was team leader at the time of the Hankle case. I’m the one who decided not to intervene,” he said firmly. “Emily brought her concerns to me and I shut them down because I was afraid if word got out you would lose your job, making your situation worse. I trusted that you were strong enough to recover. And you were. But you never should have done so without proper support. I regret that, Reid, and I always will.”

Maybe it was the stark inevitability catching up with him that there was simply no way to avoid going through withdrawal in front of them. Maybe it was the way his eyes kept searching for an exit he knew didn't exist. Maybe it was thinking about Tobias Hankle. All these years and all the other traumas, and a part of him was still stuck in that cabin in Georgia. A part of him always would be. Whatever it was, the fight left him.

He was still pressed up against the wall, and he slid down it until he was sitting on the cold concrete floor. The others sat too.

“I don’t know why I said that. I’m not angry about it anymore. Or, at least… I’m not angry at any of you,” he said, chancing an apologetic glance at Emily. “Maybe at Gideon, still. But what’s the point in that?”

“When someone who hurt you is gone it doesn’t take away the scars,” said Rossi. “I loved Gideon, but he made mistakes. It’s okay to be pissed about it.”

“Do you guys really want to hear all this?” asked Spencer skeptically.

They might say that’s what they want, but the subject of his addiction had never felt particularly welcome. They had always flinched away from it, just as they had only a minute ago when Emily referenced him shooting up.

He certainly didn’t want their pity or concern.

“Of course we do,” said Emily, with the others nodding emphatically.

He hesitated. They already knew, he reminded himself. They were asking because they care about him and because the secret was already out. He couldn't put it back.

“2 years. Or 1 year, 11 months, and 3 days, to be precise.”

Silence. He wanted to say stunned silence? But it could have as easily been disgust. He couldn’t tell.

“How is that possible?” asked Derek, deceptively calm.

“We couldn’t miss the signs for that long,” said JJ disbelievingly.

“It’s been on and off,” he clarified. “I was only using in between cases when I was last working with the BAU.” Then, sheepishly, “Mostly." There were some cases... well. He'd done his best. "You would be surprised how easy it is to miss substance abuse in people close to you. One study showed that up to 60% of heroin users are what we call ‘functional addicts,’ meaning they can hold down fulltime employment, social lives, and sometimes even have their addiction go unnoticed by intimate partners for months or years at a time,” he rattled off, before catching the look in his friends’ eyes and stopping. “It isn’t your fault,” he said simply. “I’ve been avoiding you on purpose. Not to mention you base your warning signs on how I behaved when I first became addicted, expecting me to be volatile and disorganized. But I’m not 25 and in the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event anymore. I have more control. It’s not a problem like it was back then,” he assured them.

“Feels like a pretty big problem right now,” said Rossi.

“Functional addicts don’t stay functional forever, pretty boy,” said Derek. “I’m sure you know the other side of those statistics.”

“I don’t have a large enough dataset to offer credible statistics on the amount of opioid addicts who get kidnapped and forced to detox in bunkers. In retrospect, I should have realized that I am an outlier who should have expected something like this to happen,” he deadpanned.

“Well, we’re all outliers vis a vis kidnappings,” replied Emily dryly. "I'm sure that makes you feel better."

“I hate doing this while we’re being watched,” he said. “It feels like we’re encouraging her. This is exactly the outcome she was hoping for. It’s why she dosed you all with opioids instead of using pure sedatives. Just to taunt me.”

“Don’t worry about that now,” said Hotch. “What matters is that we get you through withdrawal. We need accurate information to ensure we know what to do.”

“I know,” he admitted reluctantly. He took a long, slow breath. “Ask me whatever you need to,” he said, directing it to Emily.

He wished he was high right now. He’d give anything for a hit.

Emily nodded; sentiment once again pushed down the line to when the job was done. “Dilaudid?”

“It’s whatever is easiest to get.”

“So, heroin,” she clarified.

He looked at his lap. “It doesn't make a difference to the withdrawal process. It’s all derivatives of the same compound.”

“It makes a difference to your risk of overdose,” she clarified, “but you’re right, that’s not an immediate concern,” she agreed. “Needles?”

He nodded, not looking at them.

“It’s okay, kid,” said Rossi. “We’re not judging.”

He didn’t really believe that, so he didn’t respond to it.

“Every day? If so, how many times a day?” Emily asked.

“It was previously more intermittent, as I said, but for the past 8 months or so It has been twice a day at a minimum.” A beat. "Usually more."

“Okay. Thank you for telling us all that. I know this isn’t easy,” she said. “I just have one more question for now. Is there any risk that you have an infection?”

“All intravenously administered drugs come with a statistically significant risk of infection,” he said, ready to ramble about it before she threw up a hand to preemptively cut him off. “I always use sterile equipment and alcohol wipes. I’m fine.”

“You are anything but fine, pretty boy,” said Derek, shaking his head. “But we’ll get you through this.”

“That would be more comforting if we weren’t locked in a bunker by a serial killer.”

“Minor problem,” Derek joked. “Consider it a study on innovative approaches to running a rehabilitation facility.”

Spencer didn't laugh. Neither did anyone else. JJ placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

He caught Hotch's eye again, briefly.

Had any of them ever really had a shot at escaping their pasts or was this all inevitable? He wasn't getting clean by choice. Hotch wasn't there in the bunker to reconnect with them. Spencer was struck by the reality that proximity did not always mean closeness.

He was already thinking about the moment he could get out of here and get high again. Was Hotch just counting the seconds until he could disappear from their lives forever?

Assuming they didn't all just die, of course.

Maybe that's what he should be focusing on now. Just don't die. Figure out the rest later.

He leaned into JJ, letting her put an arm around him. The red light from the camera blinked down at them.

[mumblesplash]

ok mostly just getting this out of my head i think the reason i like stampede vashwood as much as i do despite not being much of a shipper in general is it resembles a dynamic i theoretically love but have never actually seen—where one character (A) is pining over a character (B) they know feels the same way about them.

because see for A these feelings are uncharted territory, a type of connection they’ve never formed before and maybe fear they never will again. even getting to the point where they admit their feelings to themself is like pulling teeth, but it’s something special to them.

meanwhile, character B has no reservations about their own feelings at all. they could give the most heartfelt declaration of love and mean every word of it as easy as breathing. they’ve loved A from the start and always will.

but in a sense, A’s feelings are unrequited anyway—the affection the two have for each other is equal, but it’s because B cares that much about everyone. it doesn’t matter if their feelings for A are romantic, deep down they probably don’t even know how to tell the difference between that and being whatever anyone wants them to be. and A knows this, so A can’t tell them what they want

ideally, this seemingly infinite capacity for compassion and love is part of what drew A to B in the first place (it at least can’t be something A resents or sees as unfair to them personally, that would miss the whole point). also ideally character B represents some sort of hope for a future A thought was impossible, escape from a dark past or a chance to become something better than they feel they are, but it’s a chance they can’t take without losing them

also also, this dynamic is angst-only. if they’re healthy enough to talk through their feelings and actually end up together they’re disqualified. it takes two specific types of disaster character for this to work properly, and any way it plays out will end up with everything falling apart horribly.

and like if i’m being honest here it’s barely even romantic. they probably never even get around to kissing and if they do they’re both convinced the other one doesn’t really mean it

[crobones]

seriously, if you're going to have a character arc come full circle in terms of fulfilling goals that they'd had in the beginning, do it like Loki, not like Our Flag Means Death.

Loki fought the whole season to prevent the inevitable, but then acknowledged that his wants were ultimately selfish even though the motivation was altruistic. He tried absolutely everything he could literally time and time again, trying to save the timelines and the TVA and his friends, and preventing the time war.

He even spent centuries with his friends off screen and there was a significant reason for the time skip! (looking at you, infinity war and endgame! fuck that five year time skip! we knew everything would ultimately stay the same except for the fact that Loki learned theoretical physics and what he needed in order to move the plot along. Fuck, they even just acknowledged there were several times he lived through certain circumstances because of how he acted and what he said in that final attempt at the Mulitplier. They managed to both show and tell in a way that fucking worked for the pacing.

essentially, loki tried so hard to achieve what everyone thought would save them, and when they finally succeeded, it still wasn't enough. and as opposed to choosing between time no longer existing or killing sylvie, he asked people for advice. Everyone essentially said "kill the one to save the many" and we know for damn sure that old Loki would have done just that. He would have killed Sylvie and been done with it.

But he had character growth! he wanted people to have free will! he wanted his friends to be able to choose between life on a timeline or life with the TVA! he didn't want to kill a person he cared about, even if that was the only answer! so he took their opinions and ultimately said "fuck that" and sacrificed himself.

he wanted a throne and a purpose in the very beginning, then he learned he didn't want any of those things - he wanted to be loved! and THEN he realized that he would have to sacrifice that love in order to save existence and the people he cared about. sacrificing those things was the last resort. so he ended up alone. on a throne. burdened with a terrible purpose. but it was for selfless reasons.

now! how am I making this about izzy, you ask? well! season one, izzy was incredibly selfish! but even then, we have the first divergence of character arcs.

Loki spends his first season learning that people deserve free will and sometimes he needs to relinquish control. he learns he needs to trust people.

season one izzy basically doesn't have a character arc! he begins and ends the season wanting blackbeard. then season two comes along and they speedrun his character development in what, two episodes? and half of it happens off-screen between the seasons!

but both loki and izzy learn that what's important to them is community, love, and the freedom for everyone to be who they want to be. where loki fights tooth and nail to hold onto these things before he must sacrifice himself, izzy's choices of self-sacrifice throughout the beginning of the season are motivated by selfharm and suicidal ideation - he believes he deserves punishment for what he has done in the past.

then, Izzy's last choice of making himself the target is less for wanting to die and moreso trying to give the others the chance to live. arguably, this is a step forward in his narrative? idk, putting yourself in the line of fire is still putting yourself in the line of fire, regardless of motivation. but, oop! he doesn't die here, no. he survives the talk with Ricky. huzzah!

however! he dies moments later due to being shot as a result of 1) no one checking to make sure Ricky was disarmed, 2) stede's suicide mission, which was literally the only plan they tried, and 3) even though people in this show can survive falling from the crow's nest onto the deck or being stabbed multiple times through the torso where there actually are important organs, the show wanted to tell us that "people die for real sometimes."

but it doesn't stop there! izzy then refuses any attempts to save him, and then apologizes to his codependent for... being codependent... yet this act of his dying is thus reinforcing that very codependency... and he "wants to die"...

like. if loki could have it any other way (and trust him! he's tried!) he would. he would choose life with his friends and loved ones. but he chose self-sacrifice as a literal last resort because it was the only way.

if given the chance, would the izzy that existed at the end of season two have chosen to live? not only was his death the result of someone else's plan, but it wasn't even a matter of the plan going to shit and THEN izzy sacrifices himself. no, his death was simply a byproduct of the plan going to shit. and then it was turned into a metaphor for the very character he was codependent on.

loki's motivations changed, he fought for any and every other possibility, but his end result was ironically what he had sought in the very beginning. it is tragic and beautiful.

izzy's motivations changed, but he never tried to keep what he had. he never forgave himself. he forgave literally everyone except for himself. he reverted right back to being willing to die for blackbeard. it isn't even tragic, it's just poorly written.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Endure XIII: Secret

Series Synopsis: You and Eren Jaeger have been best friends since the age of two, but the two of you are destined for an inevitable tragedy. The world you have been born into is cruel; it is one where friends are traitors and enemies are allies, one where you find yourself doubting everything you've ever known. In this life, mistakes are fatal, and you must be careful, lest you make one too many.

Chapter Synopsis: You and the rest of the 104th must get the fuel for your ODM gear and then figure out a way to seal the breach.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader, Armin Arlert x Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 7.7k

Content Warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence, sexual abuse (non-explicit), major character death, angst, original characters included

Making plans was normally Armin’s thing, but considering he was currently traumatized, almost getting eaten and then seeing his best friend suffer the same fate, he was in no state to do anything of the sort. That meant that it was up to you and Jean, you who had been the ones to propose such a radical course of action, to tell everyone what to do and how to do it.

“I’m thinking an all or nothing charge,” you said.

“It’s our best bet,” Jean said immediately, “The titans have completely swarmed the supply depot, so we’ll need everything we’ve got to have a chance of making it through.”

“Agreed,” Tullia said with a nod, “But that means everyone has to be willing to do this. There’s no chickening out or anything like that allowed. If one of us falters, it’s over for the rest.”

“She’s right. Are all of you prepared? You see a titan, you can’t run from it. You have to kill it or distract it in some way, but if we panic, we fail,” you said.

“Understood,” Connie said, answering for everyone. They all looked uneasy still, but Jean’s level stare and your reassuring demeanor was enough for them to stand as well, though their legs trembled and their eyes belied their fear.

“Right, then. Hopefully we’ll meet Mikasa on the way there, as her aid would be invaluable, but we can’t bank on it. The only ones we can count on are the ones here and now,” you said.

“We can do this, everyone! I know it!” Sasha said, her optimism shining through. The girl did not have a pessimistic bone in her body, and though you knew some people might find it annoying, you found it was a relief. There was far too little light in this world, and she provided some of it. No wonder Mikasa loved her so much.

“Armin,” you said softly to the boy who was standing beside you, his entire body shaking, “I need you to be at your best. I know it’s hard that he's gone, but now isn’t the time to grieve, you hear me? He wouldn’t want you to be sad, anyways. Trust me.”

He blinked at you as if he had just awoken from a long nap before saying, “You’re a lot braver than I remembered.”

“I’m not brave. I just see what needs to be done and I do it,” you said before hugging him, “You’re brave, Armin. Braver than you know. Brave enough to be able to save us all.”

The cadets took off like birds, flitting through the sky, dodging titans and trying to conserve your gas.

There was a sort of beauty in the destruction, if you looked at it sideways. Life and death all came together in one fatal mosaic, so that mere steps away from a little girl’s corpse, a scared boy could choose to keep going.

Your eyes tracked Jean’s movements warily. He was furious, you could tell, though his rage manifested differently than Eren’s did. Eren was all fire and lightning and righteous fury. Jean was cold and sharp, guilt overpowering his anger. Any titan that crossed his path, he cut down with ruthless efficiency, and you did the same, until your faces were dripping in the blood that covered your clothes, too.

Because you and Jean were the same. Second best, always falling behind the wonderful people you had trained with. Jean was a prodigy with the ODM but little else. You had a lot of theoretical knowledge but no particular talents. Yet it was you two who had witnessed the most base horrors of this world, witnessed life leave the innocent and life leave the guilty, too.

Maybe that was why you both didn’t get along. Jean was your mirror, as you were his. Or perhaps you were not mirrors of each other but rather alternate versions, reflecting what might’ve happened if your circumstances had been different. If you didn’t have Eren looking out for you, maybe you would’ve been cocky and quick-tempered, too. If Jean didn’t have his mother there for him no matter what, maybe he would’ve been shy and easily hurt, too.

“Oh, shit!” you shouted in alarm as the canisters of your ODM gear stuttered and hissed before your cables went limp. You had used more gas than the others when you had gone back to get that lily for Leah, and now that choice was catching up to you in a bad way as you began to fall to the ground.

“Keep going! Do not give up!” you called out. Jean gave you a wide-eyed look before nodding in determination. He would continue to lead the cadets, and he would make sure that Tullia and the others were safe.

Somehow, miraculously, the fall did not kill you. You were not even injured, landing in a cart full of straw that had hastily been abandoned, most likely during the evacuation efforts. You scrambled to your feet, taking in your surroundings.

You were in an alleyway, with tall buildings on either side of the road. You had no gas, which meant you were easy prey, but you had a couple of blades left that you might be able to use, though you doubted it would be very effective. You were no Mikasa or Reiner, after all, no top cadet or strong-willed soldier. But this was what you had, and so it would have to be enough.

Pulling out the blades, you stared at your reflection in the silver metal. Your face was covered in hot, steaming red, and your hair was dishevelled from the wind. You barely recognized yourself. All traces of innocence and wonder had left your now-hardened gaze, and you figured they must have died earlier today, though whether with Leah or Eren, you did not know.

Transfixed as you were by your appearance, you almost did not notice the ten meter titan heading towards you until the ground began to shake. You looked up at it, and as you stared into its vacant eyes, a memory came to you.

“Hey, Y/N, can I tell you a secret?” Eren whispered into your ear. You shrugged. You were eight years old now, still as close as you had been at two. You were at the Jaegers’ for the night, as your parents had wanted to have a date. You for one were more than happy to have a sleepover with your best friend and did not complain.

“Sure. What’s up?” you said.

“You can’t tell anyone about this. Not even Armin,” he warned you. You nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t,” you said. He leaned in close to you, and you blinked at him in confusion, wondering what he was going to tell you. It was bound to be something huge, if he didn’t even want Armin to know.

Instead of saying anything, he shyly pecked you on the lips.

“Why’d you do that?” you said, crossing your arms. He shrugged, blushing slightly.

“Because,” he said, “I think the moon is pretty tonight.”

“That’s true,” you said.

“You know,” he said thoughtfully, “I don’t think I deserve to look at it. Nobody does.”

“Huh? Why not?” you said. He lay back on the bed, and you did the same, pulling the blankets up around your shoulders and turning on your side to face him.

“It’s too good for this world. Good things never last when greedy people get their hands on them,” he said.

“Why did I think of that now?” you muttered, furrowing your brow. At any moment, you would get eaten by a titan, yet all you could think of was that random moment with your now-dead best friend.

“I guess good things really don���t last. Otherwise, you’d still be here,” you said. It still hadn’t hit you that Eren was really gone again, so soon after you had finally gotten him back. He was gone, but you were still here. There was only one possible explanation for that: he was good, and you were not, and this world was so fucking greedy.

“Fine, then. If being a good person gets me killed, then I’ll be bad! I’ll be terrible if that means I get to live!” you said. The titan continued to trudge towards you. You wondered if it thought the fear would make you taste better.

“Sucks to be you, because I have no plans of being your meal today. I would give up anything to win! My humanity, my family, my friends...you don’t understand, you asshole! I’ve lost it all! Yet despite that, I’ve endured! I’ve endured all of that pain and grief and sorrow, and here I am. You do NOT get to be the one that kills me!” you said, pointing the blade at the titan as threateningly as possible.

As if to punctuate your statement, there was a loud, shrieking roar. The ground shook again, but this time, the source was behind you. You did not flinch as a muscular titan lunged forwards and punched your predator in the face, knocking him back before letting out a victorious cry.

He turned to you, green eyes glowing and pointed ears flicking back and forth. He was tall, about fifteen meters high, and his mouth did not have lips, exposing his gleaming white teeth. He had a shock of dark hair that danced about in the wind as he huffed and stomped on the nape of the titan that had tried to eat you.

A dangerous smirk formed on your face. This titan, whatever he was, represented all of the rage and heartbreak you had ever felt in your life. He was getting revenge for you. He was getting justice for you. You felt strangely vindicated as you watched him raise his fists and then kick a third titan in the head before crushing its nape.

“Y/N! You’re okay!” Armin said. He and Connie dropped to the ground beside you, but you waved them off, pointing at the rogue titan.

“Look at him,” you said in wonder, “He saved me, and now he’s going to save us all.”

“What do you mean?” Connie said as Armin undid his gas canisters and poured the little fuel he had left into yours.

“I was going to die, but that titan over there saved my life. He knows martial arts, for some reason, and he’s killing other titans. He ignored me completely,” you said.

“Yippee, you found another kind of abnormal! Let’s ride out this good luck while it lasts and get out of here!” Connie said with a nervous laugh.

“Armin, tell us what we have to do,” you said. You could tell he had a plan forming in his mind. He turned to you, a serious look on his face.

“You’re going to have to be good. As good as Mikasa, for this to work,” he said. You frowned.

“Whatever it takes,” you said, even though you were sure you could never be as good as Mikasa. Armin knew that, but still he put his faith in you, because this was your biggest chance. This rogue titan could change just about everything for you, for humanity.

“You said he’s only fighting titans? We can assume he has a similar call to kill titans as other titans do to kill humans. That means, in a few seconds, he’s going to go seek out more to kill. What if we get rid of the titans in his path, though? He’s going to go straight to the supply depot and get rid of the titans there,” he said.

“The hell? Guys, this is a titan we’re talking about! You’re talking about him like he’s our a-ally or something!” Connie said.

“I’ll do it. I don’t know if I can, but I will. Connie, you carry Armin back,” you said.

“No, that’s a waste. Leave me here, please. Just...give me a blade. I’d rather die at my own hand than that of the titans,” he said.

“I won’t lose you again. We might need you to make another plan once we get to the supply depot, as well, so it’d be foolish if we leave you to die. Connie, carry him,” you said.

“It’s okay, Armin, you’re really light. It’s not like having to carry Reiner or something,” Connie said.

“If you’re sure,” Armin said as Connie scooped him up.

“I am. Now, look. I don’t trust this titan, and I don’t trust this whole plan, but I do trust the two of you. We’re going to do this, and we’re going to do this as best as we possibly can. I don’t think I’ll be able to help you kill any titans while carrying Armin, but I’ve got your back, Y/N,” he said before adding as an afterthought, “And I won’t drop you, either, Armin.”

“Thanks, Connie. Let’s go, then, before the rogue vanishes,” you said, leaping into the air, Connie at your side.

Finding the rogue was easy. His signature shrieking roar made it simple to locate him, and the pile of steaming titan corpses he left in his wake was also a pretty good indicator as to his location.

Destroying the titans in his path was harder. You employed every trick you had ever heard of, every spin and twirl and dodge and slash in order to clear the way for the rogue. By the end of it, you were panting from exhaustion, but you kept going, and as the rogue titan punched a titan about to reach into the supply depot, you and Connie crashed through the glass, landing neatly on your feet despite the rough entrance. Connie set Armin on his feet before wrapping an arm around you for support as you sagged against him.

“You did good,” he said, “Really good.”

“Almost didn’t make it,” you wheezed out, your muscles sore from the exertion and strain you had just placed them under.

“But you did. You did it, and you saved us all. You and that weird titan friend of yours,” he said.

“Y/N!” Tullia shouted, and suddenly, you, Connie, and Armin were swarmed by your friends.

Tullia and Mikasa took turns fussing over you, while Jean gave you a nod of respect and a half-smile. Sasha began crying and hugging Connie, who was her best friend, almost like her twin. Marco began to speak in soothing tones to Armin, who had begun to shudder again, the adrenaline from earlier finally fading.

You explained the entire situation about the rogue titan to them, and they informed you of the titans in the supply room, blocking you from getting to the gas.

“We made it all this way, and now ten titans are going to stop us? I think not,” you said sharply.

“She’s right. At this point, it would just be embarrassing,” Reiner agreed. Warm, dependable Reiner, who smiled and offered you his hand. You took it, finding solace in his calloused palms and the way he reassuringly rubbed circles on your skin with his thumb.

“Min-Min, this one’s all you,” you said. Armin frowned but nodded slowly.

“I have a plan. Do you guys trust me?” he said.

“After that whole rogue titan thing? Fuck yeah!” Connie said.

“Without a doubt,” Mikasa said.

“More than anyone,” you said.

“If we trust you, we have a chance. Only a fool wouldn’t do such a thing,” Jean said.

“He’s right. We all trust you, Armin. The question is do you trust yourself?” Reiner said. Armin seemed taken aback at this, and you all stared at him, waiting for his answer. Your faith and platitudes meant little if Armin could not find his own strength, his own validation.

Something shifted in little Min-Min at that moment. He was no longer the sweet, shy boy that he had once been. A light entered his eyes; a light of madness and knowledge and wonder — but not a childish wonder. Rather, it was a fascination, a sort of calling, almost, and you knew without a doubt that he would no longer hesitate to do what must be done.

“I do.”

The lift lowered agonizingly slowly, and the titans paused in their wanderings. The scent of human bodies sang to them, an irresistible aria that they were powerless to deny. You almost felt bad for them. In the end, they were slaves to their instincts. They could never rise above mindless monsters, doomed as they were to beasthood. Could you really blame them for giving in to their urges? Maybe not, but you sure as hell could fight them for it, could understand that it was cruel and wrong. And so you always had, and so you always would.

The ten of you chosen to jump from the rafters and slay the titans readied yourselves. You, Tullia, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Annie, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Ymir — the top ten, with Sasha replacing Eren and Ymir taking Marco’s place. Marco had chosen to lead the cadets in the lift, giving them hope. They needed someone brave to make sure that nobody messed this up, and Marco was more than up to the task.

“3...2…” Marco began to count slowly. You had to trust him, trust that the titans would be in position when you dropped to kill them, because that was the catch: you could not see your foes.

“...1...NOW!” he shouted. The cadets in the lift opened fire, blinding the titans. As soon as they ceased, the ten of you dove to the ground. Despite your shaking muscles and the exhaustion that threatened to overwhelm you, you dug into your target’s nape with as much force as you could muster, finding joy in the way its blood spurted up into the air as it fell.

“SASHA!” Mikasa screamed in terror. The auburn haired girl had missed, and she stared, slack-jawed, at the titan that was poised to eat her.

But that brutal snap of teeth never came. Mikasa leapt into the air, impossibly high given the fact that she had no gear, before bringing her blade down and felling the titan about to kill her girlfriend.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Annie do the same for Connie, though she was decidedly less dramatic about it. She brushed his thanks aside coolly before heading to one of the supply tanks and filling her canisters back up.

“Annie’s got the right idea. Everyone, refuel!” Tullia called out.

“I cannot believe we did that!” Marco said, hopping out of the lift ecstatically, holding up his hand for a high five. You smiled fondly at him and slapped your palm against his.

“We did that,” you agreed, “Now let’s get back to the safety of the walls.”

Once everyone had filled their canisters, they began to take off, though you, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Armin, and Mikasa lingered.

“I wonder what happened to that rogue titan,” you said to Armin.

“Agreed. Let’s go check it out. You four coming with us?” he said.

“I’m curious about it, so yeah,” Reiner said, and of course, where Reiner went, Bertholdt was sure to follow.

“Whatever,” Annie said. This was her way of agreeing, though, so none of you took too much offense.

“I’d like to see what saved us all,” Mikasa said, giving Reiner a dark look when he tried to put his arm around you and placing herself in between the two of you. He held his hands up innocently, and you gave him an apologetic look.

Peering out of the window, you were met with a disheartening sight. The other titans had ganged up on the rogue and were beginning to devour him. A lump formed in your throat at the sight, and you blinked back tears, even though it was silly to be crying over a titan of all things.

“I thought he might’ve been able to help humanity,” Armin said.

“What a shame,” Mikasa said.

“Maybe we should try to help him,” you suggested quietly.

“Help a titan? I know he saved you, but he’s still a titan,” Mikasa reminded you.

“There’s the one that killed Thomas!” Armin said. Almost as if the rogue titan had heard him, it staggered to its feet, throwing the titans off of it and stumbling towards the abnormal that Armin claimed killed Thomas. The rogue didn’t have arms, so it bent over and picked the abnormal up with its teeth before turning and using it as a weapon, swinging it at the remaining titans. They were powerless to defend themselves from his attacks, and then, with one final swing, he threw the abnormal into a building. It fell to the ground limply, and you knew they were all dead.

The rogue slumped over, and steam surrounded his nape. You cocked your head at this development. You hadn’t seen him sustain any injuries to that part of his body, and that was an absurd amount of steam.

And then a figure emerged from the nape. You narrowed your eyes, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden. Was this some sort of trick of the light? You jetted towards him, ignoring the way your friends called out warnings for you to stop.

Touching down lightly in front of him, you fell to your knees, gathering his limp form in your arms with a sob. You pressed your ear against his chest, and to your surprise, his heart was beating, as steadily as it had been that day on the roof in this very city.

Drawing back, you stared at his face in wonder before he slumped against your shoulder, his body collapsing into your embrace. You held him close to you, as close as you possibly could, though even that was not close enough.

For the second time, he came back to you. Eren saved you, and he came back to you, because that was what he did. Tears poured down your cheeks, and you muffled your choked sobs in his hair.

“Is that...Eren?” Armin said.

“Yeah,” you sniffed.

“How is this possible?” Mikasa said, her eyes wide as she took in the sight before her. Armin inspected Eren’s left hand, fascinated by it for some reason.

“He grew his arm back,” he said.

Perhaps Eren wasn’t a good person, either. Well, in that case, you both would be bad together. You would be awful, awful people if that meant you got to live, if that meant you got to win.

“Cadets! If you continue to defend this titan, you will be tried for treason and executed!” Captain Woermann bellowed, “I have cannons trained on you at this moment! Don’t think I’ll hesitate!”

“Try it. I dare you. But you’re getting through me before you get to Eren,” Mikasa spat.

“Captain, be careful. Ackerman is invaluable to humanity. It’ll be a great loss if she dies,” Ian Dietrich said.

“There is a titan in Wall Rose! It’d be a greater loss if he’s allowed to go free!” Captain Woermann snapped.

“Eren, please, wake up,” you murmured. He was unconscious, head tucked under your chin as Armin sat next to you in worry and Mikasa held back the Garrison from blowing you off the face of the planet.

“I’ll kill them all,” Eren muttered, long lashes fluttering against his cheeks and lips curving into a sadistic smile. You groaned as the Garrison members began to panic at this declaration.

“Not the best thing to say at the moment,” you said.

“HE’S GOING TO KILL US!” a soldier screamed.

“What? Who’s going to kill who?” Eren said with a yawn, blinking his eyes open and gazing up at you in adoration, “Oh, hey Y/N.”

You flicked him on the forehead. “You’re going to be killing everyone, apparently.”

“What? Wait, what’s going on?” he said, scrambling to his feet before immediately falling in a heap beside you.

“Are you playing dumb now or something? Answer me, titan!”

“Titan?” Eren said.

“Yeah, you kind of emerged from the nape of a rogue titan earlier,” Armin informed him.

“CADET JAEGER!” Captain Woermann shouted.

“Yes, sir?” Eren said.

“Are you a human...or a titan?”

“I really don’t understand the question, sir!” Eren said, looking around desperately, his eyes meeting yours. He was panicking, fear and confusion clouding his mind, the same as it was to the members of the Garrison. This was a volatile situation, with both parties apt to explode at the slightest of triggers.

“Eren, calm down. Relax,” you said.

“They want to kill us! They think I’m a titan! How can I relax?” he said, his chest heaving as he began to hyperventilate.

“Answer the question, cadet! Human or titan!”

“Human! I’m a human!” Eren gasped out. Captain Woermann’s face fell.

“Then I’m sorry that I have to do this,” he said before lowering his arm. Eren shot to his feet, electricity crackling on his skin as he pulled you against his chest and wrapped his arms around Mikasa and Armin before raising his hand to his mouth and biting it.

Heat and steam blew your hair back, the world turning to fire and smoke before everything was suddenly very still. You were in some kind of bony construct, with Mikasa underneath you and Armin on top.

“Ugh, hold on a second,” Mikasa said, dropping to her feet and rubbing her head before reaching up to help you and Armin out.

“Did Eren transform again?” Armin said.

“He must have, but not all of the way. It looks like just a rib cage, but I think it saved us from the cannons,” you said.

“You guys...good?” Eren said, emerging and swaying on his feet, blood dripping freely from his nose.

“Yeah. Are you?” you said. His face was pale, but he nodded.

“Totally great. Anyways, I don’t know how or why this is happening, but I think it’s related to my cellar. Dad gave me the key, and we have to get there to figure it all out. Shit! The amount of people he could have saved...I can’t understand why he would hide it,” Eren said mournfully.

“We can worry about that later. Right now, we’re all going to be killed by the Garrison if we don’t figure something out. Your skeleton is already beginning to disintegrate. Once it’s gone and the smoke vanishes, we’re going to be in big trouble,” Mikasa said.

“Right. I think I should try and transform into a titan again before going to my cellar and find out what all of this is about,” he said. You all waited for him to elaborate, but he did not.

“And...what is our role in this plan of yours, exactly?” you said.

“You stay here. Be safe,” he said.

“Nope. Not happening,” Mikasa said.

“Agreed, and I really don’t think you’re in any state to transform at the moment, either, provided you can even control it, which I’m not too sure you can,” you said.

“I’ll be fine! I can push through,” he said.

“Doesn’t matter. If you go, I’m going with you,” Mikasa said, her voice cold.

“And so will I,” you added loyally.

“You guys are so stubborn! Fine, then, here’s my second idea. Armin, you convince the Garrison that I’m not a threat. We’ll leave everything in your hands,” he said.

“We’ll go with that,” Armin said decisively. You gaped at him, expecting him to fight or argue or protest about how he didn’t deserve your faith. Noticing you, he gave you a grim look and nodded.

“It’s like I said back in the supply depot. I trust myself now.”

Armin marched up to where the Garrison elites waited, casting his gear and blades aside before beginning to defend your case.

“Eren, what happened to you? How did you become a titan?” you said softly.

“Like I said, I still don’t really know. I just did it,” he said. You looked at him, and tears welled up in your eyes again as you realized that he was really, truly, alive.

“Don’t do that again. Don’t keep dying,” you said. He brushed your tears away.

“You don’t cry. You remember what I said, right? I want the last thing I see to be you smiling, and since we never know when our last moments could be, you need to always smile, just in case,” he said.

“You morbid bastard,” you said, though you smiled anyway before returning your attention to Armin, whose voice was growing shrill and cracking as Captain Woermann refused to listen to him.

“Sir! I am a soldier! That is to say, I’ve devoted my life and heart to saving humanity. For as long as I live, I will defend Eren’s strategic value! He could change the tides of this battle forever!” he screamed, saluting at Captain Woermann, who clicked his tongue in disappointment.

“My apologies, Cadet Arlert. If things had been different, maybe we would’ve been on the same side,” he said, going to lower his arm. You pressed closer to Eren, and he placed one arm around you while readying the other to bite down on. Mikasa snarled and drew her blades, standing in front of the two of you protectively.

“Captain Woermann! Have you ever seen a salute as magnificent as that?”

Everyone paused as a man you knew to be Commander Pyxis stopped Captain Woermann from signalling for the cannons to fire.

“C-Commander? What are you doing?” Captain Woermann said.

“Sorry for taking so long. Anka updated me on the situation. From what I’ve heard, we have a little titan friend! How wonderful! Greetings, Cadet Jaeger!” Commander Pyxis said, waving at you. Eren hesitantly waved back, not relaxing his grip on you for an instant.

“He’s a danger!” Captain Woermann said.

“Look at that boy and tell me he’s dangerous. Why, he’s just a child! Furthermore, I agree with Cadet Arlert. We might be able to utilize this power of his to seal the breach and regain Trost, thereby winning humanity’s first victory since those monsters began terrorizing us,” Commander Pyxis said.

“Do you think we can trust a titan?” Captain Woermann said.

“As far as I’m concerned, we can. I also don’t think we have any other choice. Come on, cadets, let’s return to Wall Rose where Cadet Arlert can inform us of his plan,” Commander Pyxis said. You all gave each other bemused looks before following after him.

Standing atop Wall Rose, you peered off of the edge, where titans clawed at the structure frantically, trying to reach you and devour you. You shuddered and stepped back. Pyxis waved cheerfully at the titans.

“Sorry, lads! None of you fellows gets the privilege of eating me, unfortunately. If I have to go, it’s going to be one of the sexy lady titans that does it. Say, Cadet Jaeger, would you happen to know any?” he said.

“Uh, I can’t say that I do,” Eren said awkwardly.

“Walls be damned! Is that my favorite pair of hellions?” a familiar voice you had not heard in many years said. You turned to see none other than Mr. Orion standing there, beaming at you and Eren.

“Hey, Mr. Orion! Is Mr. Hannes around?” you said.

“Damn right, I am! And how have you been, lassie?” Mr. Hannes said, appearing and throwing his arm around his friend.

“Pretty good. All of us are graduating from the cadet corps tomorrow,” you said.

“Where’d all the time go? Just yesterday, you were going to Eren’s third birthday party!” Mr. Orion said.

“A lot has changed since then,” you said with a frown. The two men’s faces grew sober at this, and you knew that you were all thinking of everything you had lost when Shiganshina fell. You had been fortunate that you got Eren, Mikasa, and Armin back, but your family was really and truly dead for forever, and unlike your friends, they would not return.

“Not everything, though. Seems you and Eren are still as close as ever,” Mr. Hannes said after a moment. You nodded at him before shifting to give Eren, who had gone over to talk with Pyxis about Armin’s plan, a fond look. He had an endearing frown on his face, and a small smile crossed your face at the sight.

“Yeah, that’s true,” you said, missing the knowing glances the two Garrison captains exchanged.

“I don’t know about that, Hannes. I’d wager they’re a teeny bit closer now,” Mr. Orion teased. You snapped your gaze back to them and their smirks.

“What are you talking about?” you said.

“I’d say you two are in loveeee,” he sang.

“Yeah, well,” your face fell, “One of us is.”

Both of them winced dramatically. It would be comical if you weren’t talking about your unrequited feelings for your best friend. Tullia insisted otherwise, but you knew the truth, knew Eren in a way she did not, knew that he would never love you.

“How did he handle the rejection?” Mr. Hannes said.

“What?” you said.

“Eren? I mean, obviously you two are still friends, but it must’ve been hard for him. That boy’s been in love with you for probably his entire life,” Mr. Orion said.

“No, wait, hang on. I think you guys are confused here. I’m the one in love. He’s not,” you said.

“He rejected you?” Mr. Hannes said incredulously.

“Well, it’s not like I’ve told him,” you said, rolling your eyes. At this, they facepalmed.

“Lassie, if you seriously think that gremlin doesn’t care about you as more than a friend, I don’t know what to tell you,” Mr. Hannes said.

“Hannes is right. You guys are the hellion duo! Everyone in Shiganshina knew you would end up with each other. It’s inevitable, although, please refrain from having children until after I’ve retired. They’re going to give me grey hairs,” Mr. Orion said.

“You really think so?” you said.

“Yeah, any child raised by you two is going to be the most troublesome thing to ever terrorize these walls!” Mr. Orion said.

“No, dimwit, about him loving me back,” you snapped.

“Not sure I’m the dimwit here if you can’t even tell that Eren loves you,” he said defensively.

“Do you think...I should tell him? After this mission and all are over, of course. He has more important things to worry about right now,” you said.

“I’d wager good money that you’d feel pretty darn great if you did,” Mr. Hannes said, patting you on the head affectionately. You gave him a determined nod.

“Right! Then that’s what I’ll do,” you said.

“Atta girl! You be safe, distracting those titans, you hear me?” Mr. Orion said.

“You, too. You should come to the Rals’ for the next break. I’ll be there; we can eat Petra’s mashed potatoes,” you said. He grinned at you before taking a swig of beer, his first and only love.

“Sounds like a plan. See you around, little Y/N,” he said.

“See you around, ancient Mr. Orion.”

Just like earlier, you were put in a squad with Jean, Marco, and Connie, though this time, Annie replaced Sasha.

“Remember, guys,” Jean said as you glided through the eerily empty town, attracting the attention of the titans before dashing back to the safety of the walls, “We don’t have to engage with them unless absolutely necessary.”

“We were all there for the debriefing, Jean, we know,” you said.

“Shut it, L/N,” he said.

“You know I can’t. I’ll be talking until the moment I die,” you said.

“Great, something to look forward to,” he said.

“You know, what with the two of you at each other’s throats like normal, this almost feels like a normal training exercise,” Connie marvelled.

“It’s honestly best to think of it that way. Less pressure,” you said. As you reached the wall and scaled it, reaching the top, a red flare shot up from where the elite squad and Eren were, signifying that something had gone wrong.

“Commander Pyxis! What do we do now?” a woman named Anka, who was like Pyxis’s personal assistant, said. The Commander frowned.

“Continue as planned! We have to trust that the elite squad can figure things out. In the meantime, we have to keep the titans off of them at all costs!” he said. Everyone exchanged fearful and disbelieving looks. Was he going to risk your lives on the small chance that Eren would be able to pull this off despite whatever had gone wrong?

If it was anybody else, you would have refused to continue. You would’ve given up and gone home. But it wasn’t anybody else. It was Eren, and that made all the difference, because you trusted Eren. More than anything or anyone, you trusted Eren.

And so, without thought or care as to whether anyone was following you, you dove off the wall, latching onto a house and flying through Trost. You heard the whir of ODM gear behind you, and tilting your head back, saw Jean and Tullia whizzing by, side by side like they were always meant to be.

“Hey, Mrs. Springer. Long time no see,” Connie said with a grin, coming up next to you as you landed on a rooftop and surveyed the area.

“I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that we’re divorced before you believe it,” you said.

“I’ll never believe it. How could you leave such a fine man as myself?” he said.

“Yeah, yeah. Things are looking pretty good, aren’t they?” you said. Tullia and Jean were a force of nature, and you watched as the girl flew past Jean, who grabbed her by the hand and used his superior strength to throw her in the direction of a titan. Taking advantage of the added momentum, she rammed her blades into its nape before dragging them through the flesh, sending it collapsing to the ground.

“If only Eren could get into gear and plug this damn hole, it would be perfect. As it is, we’re going to get tired eventually, and for each titan we kill, another two take its place. We’ll be overrun if they can’t figure whatever issue they’re having out,” Connie said.

Almost as if Connie could speak things into existence, there was a loud thudding sound. You turned your eyes to see Eren’s titan hefting the boulder onto his shoulders and laboriously beginning to trudge over towards the hole.

“He’s doing it!” you cheered, pride for your best friend, for the boy you loved, filling you. He was doing it.

“We’ve gotta keep the titans off of him! I’m going to go help out Marco. Will you be okay by yourself?” Connie said.

“Hmm? Yeah, I think I see Reiner and Bertholdt up ahead. I’ll go see if they need anything. Good luck!” you said.

“You too!” he called over his shoulder, swinging away. You watched him go before heading in the opposite direction, towards the rooftop the Reiner and Bertholdt were standing and watching Eren on.

“They’re going to plug the hole with that? It’s insane! What if Eren gets eaten? Then we won’t know a thing!” Bertholdt said

“Yeah. I might have to do something with my Titan somehow, if things go south,” Reiner said. You froze. His...Titan?

“But if their plan works, they’ll plug up the hole we just opened!” Bertholdt said. The hole they opened? This didn’t make any sense. What were they talking about?

“Doesn’t matter. We’ve been searching for a clue for years now, and we’ve finally found it,” Reiner said.

“Guys? What...were you just talking about?” you said carefully, though a sinking pit was forming in your stomach. The two stiffened before slowly turning to face you, and suddenly, you knew. Reiner had seen you at your weakest, all of those years ago: because just like Eren could transform into a titan, so too could they, and he was the Armored Titan, while Bertholdt was the Colossal.

“Y/N,” Reiner said, his amber eyes wide and something akin to pain filling them, “We were only joking. That’s all.”

You began to back away from them, laughing nervously.

“Right, of course,” you said, “Really funny, you two!”

They were silent, watching you with predatory stances. Reiner, you almost could have predicted this from, he who had been so untamed and wild and raw, but not Bertholdt. Gentle Bertholdt, shy Bertholdt, he was the reason your family was dead. Oh, Sina, you were face to face with the destroyers of 20% of humanity, and you could only back away while laughing.

“Yes,” Reiner said dourly, “We’re real pranksters.”

For once in your life, as fear filled you, you didn’t freeze. You ran. You leapt off of the side of the building and shot off. You had to get away, you had to get to safety, Eren, Jean, Mikasa, Tullia, anyone at this point.

Reiner and Bertholdt were traitors. What sort of cruel joke was it that the boy you had innocently flirted with had been the one to take your childhood from you? It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be true. Sparkling tears escaped your eyes as you pushed your gear to its limits in order to escape the wolves stalking you.

One strong arm wrapped around your ribcage as Reiner Braun rammed into you, tackling you out of midair and slamming you face first into a roof. He straddled your waist, pinning your arms behind your back so you could not break free if you tried.

“Reiner,” you whimpered, “Please, Reiner, you were joking, right? This is a joke. Please get off of me.”

“Oh, Y/N. We both know you’re a little too smart to fall for that, aren’t you?” Reiner said.

“Help! Please, somebody —” Reiner muffled you with his palm, and you began to cry harder. This was it. This was the end for you.

And then you heard the familiar sound of ODM gear being used. You looked up to see who your savior was. Annie Leonhardt landed in front of you, gasping for breath. Reiner removed his hand from your mouth, and you greedily inhaled, choking on the fresh air before giving Annie a beseeching look.

“Annie! Oh, thank the walls, Annie! You have to help me!” you said.

“What’s going on here?” she said, her glacial blue eyes wide. You began to thrash about, though Reiner kept you firmly in place.

“Reiner, he’s gone crazy or something! Help me!” you said.

“She overheard us talking. She knows our secret. You know what that means — we can’t let her live,” Reiner said. Annie took in a sharp breath of air.

“You’re kidding me. You asshole. How could you have let that happen?” she said.

“What?” you said. No. No, Annie couldn’t be with them, there was no third titan, Annie was your friend, she had saved Connie’s life!

The house you were standing on shook, and everyone froze. Bertholdt turned slowly before he spoke, alarm entering his tone.

“A titan! It’s coming this way!” he cried out.

Reiner lifted you, holding you securely to his chest. You were limp, sobbing incoherently as you realized what they planned to do.

“Annie, take Y/N’s ODM gear!” he said, voice low and commanding.

“No! No, Reiner, please, please, I’ll do whatever you want!” you shrieked, struggling against his grip. He only held you tighter, glaring over your shoulder at Annie, whose eyes widened as you screamed for help.

“Why do I have to do it?” she whispered, sounding close to tears.

“We all saw you risk your life for Connie. I’m starting to think you feel sympathy for these devils! If I’m wrong, prove it to me right now! Right now, Annie! If you and your father, who’s waiting for you to come back, are any better than devils, prove it to me!” Reiner said harshly.

“Reiner! It’s almost on top of us!” Bertholdt said.

“Annie!” Reiner roared. Annie began to cry before kneeling in front of you and undoing the buckles of your ODM gear, squeezing her eyes shut.

“No! Annie, no, no, please, we’re friends! Don’t do this!” you begged her desperately, tears blurring your eyesight, your voice cracking as your sobs began anew. She ignored you, though you could tell she heard you by the way she let out an audible whimper.

“Why? Why do this? Reiner, I’ll give you anything! I won’t tell anyone, I promise! I can’t die! I can’t die yet! I never — I never even got to tell him — no! Don’t leave me! Come back!” you cried out as Annie wrenched your ODM gear off of you and tossed it into the house next to you. The titan stomped closer, and you were left lying prone on the rooftop, defenseless and with no way of escape. Bertholdt and Annie looked back at you in horror.

“Reiner!” you screamed, reaching out for the warm, steady boy you had once known, the boy you had had a crush on, the one that was solid and dependable and kind and brave and talented. He paused, mid-flight, before turning around. He was coming back for you! He was coming back, he was going to save you, you knew he wasn’t evil, you knew it, you knew it —

“You scream too loudly,” he said, voice like ice and expression twice as cold, “It’ll attract unwanted attention. I know you won’t silence yourself, so I guess I’ll have to do it for you.”

He raised his fist. Your eyes widened and you shook your head frantically as you realized what he was going to do.

“No, Reiner, please, this isn’t you, don’t —” He struck you, and your vision blackened as you were knocked unconscious by the blow.

The last thing you saw was Eren’s titan form slamming the boulder in place, sealing the breach and letting out a victorious shriek. In your delirium, it almost sounded like he was saying your name. A soft breath escaped you, and as the darkness enveloped you entirely, you found the strength to say his for one final time.

“Eren.”

taglist (send an ask or dm to be added): @futuristicxie

[gorseflowers]

this is an edit of a very old draft from when i first watched the show but i love how much of shauna and taissa's plotlines as adults is repeating patterns and how much of it could've hypothetically been avoided if theyd talked things out with their spouses sooner (but of course there was never a chance that either of them could do that). like to an insanemaking degree theyre both so closed off to everyone but eachother from this deep seated belief in and fear of their own wrongness and it results in this unfolding tragedy of both of their adult lives falling apart

teenage shauna cheats with jeff because she wants to feel wanted and this (in her conscience) leads to someone innocent dying. adult shauna cheats on jeff because she wants to feel wanted and this leads to someone innocent dying. obviously theres important differences but the point is the fact that it all happens again, and the second time round not only was jeff not cheating on her first, he read the journals, knows all of the secrets that had weighed on her throughout their marriage and kept the distance between them, and he didn't care. if she'd told him years ago, it could've theoretically been fine, but fundamentally she couldnt let him that close either way. I think she told herself it was about what happened in the woods and she told herself he would never look at her the same way but deep down she didnt want to give him the chance to forgive her in the first place.

teenage taissa committed to being a leader for the common good and it resulted in van nearly dying. adult taissa commits to being a leader for the greater good and its shaping up to result in simone divorcing her. when she first tells simone about the sleepwalking, simone's reaction is to suggest ways to get her professional help, which taissa shuts down in favour of telling simone to leave bc shes afraid of hurting her and sammy. and crucially she says that since it started in the woods and stopped when they got rescued, she never saught help for it - if she had, or if she'd told simone earlier on, it might not have gotten that bad. but the need to shape how shes seen by the public extends to her own family, the need to maintain control manifests as a denial of the problem, she doesnt want simone to know those parts of her because she's so afraid of what's within herself that she cant acknowledge it until its no longer an option to ignore.

and none of this pretense extends to eachother. shauna and taissa understand eachother in the way only two people who went through hell together can and you can see it in the scenes where they fall asleep next to eachother -- there's no denying anything because they percieve eachother so clearly, but at the same time they dont quite forgive eachother because they cant forgive themselves. and that's the fear that keeps them from seeking understanding from their respective spouses: that they might be forgiven, that they might not be. and so the pact of secrecy has ruined both their lives, and since it comes from the idea (the fear) that what they did was completely unforgiveable, then really its the shame of their survival that's fueling all of it. both their families are falling apart, and chances are they're going to end up exactly where they started when getting back to the world after the crash - burdened with the knowledge of what they've done, the only two people capable of understanding eachother.

[princess-of-the-corner]

That My Hero Academia and Miraculous crossover post reminded of the idea I had pinging in brain a while ago.

Hawkmoth is defeated and his identity revealed to all of Paris, Ladybug and Chat Noir reveal to each other their identities, and start dating soon after. But then Lila, who no longer benefits from associating with Adrien will spin a lie that Adrien was working with his father. While his friends believe him, many in Paris do not and are treating him extremely harshly. Marinette by being connected with him is also accused of working with him. It spins out of control with public opinion turning on them, leading to both Marinette and Adrien to accidentally wish using the miraculous. Marinette wished for world where Adrien could be happy and Adrien wished for a world where Marinette could be happy. The wish works and Marinette and Adrien are suddenly wisked away by magic. Plagg and Tikki know that they can't stay with their holders so they give them a small portion of their power before the full wish is granted. In remaking their world they decide to grant everyone a small portion of their power, quirks. When Marinette and Adrien are wisked away they are thrown into this theoretical future Japan. Adrien has cat ears and and his cataclysm, Marinette has her lucky charm. Eraserhead sees 2 teens suddenly get thrown through a portal into a dumpster and automatically know they are going to be problem children.

That's the background basically with a few ideas smaller plot stuff and scenes that I imagine.

• Eraser taking in Adrien as a foster kid and Adrien being floored at the care Shouta gives him.

• Midnight taking in Marinette as a foster "niece" since nobody could replace her parents.

• Either Chole, Luka, or Kagami being one of the vestiges(I haven't fully fleshed this out).

• Marinette absolutely hating on the modern Hero costumes and deciding to do better than all the "first draft spandex" that she sees.

• Adrien falling in love with the idea of Underground Heroics.

• Adrien going into the hero course to help those who can't help themselves and Marinette going into the support course to focus on costume designs.

• Marinette personally offering a lighter to Momo to burn her hero outfit.

• Adrien getting into a rivalry with Shigaraki because "How can that brat be a hero with a power like that... with a power like mine...".

Honestly that's kinda cool.

A little sad because like. They're alone now without the rest of the cast.

But still.

[red-archivist]

Okay before tma2 blows everyone's ideas to kingdom come, here are some Thoughts about Somewhere Else and how I reckon it would actually work based off what we know...

So the Fears make it through to other realities, that’s for sure, there’s no escape from the horror and tragedy they bring

However, they do not make it through unscathed. So, in the show’s setting this categorisation of 14/15 fears is a human framework, its an imagined structure designed to help the characters understand what they’re facing- but the Fears themselves don’t fall neatly into that structure- they mix and match, they cross boundaries, they can blur together

But the way the Fears emerged in the multiverse was through that finely woven web of tapes- a system deliberately designed to organise and delineate them. As a result, the Fears are now bound by this system, it is innate to them where it wasn’t before. Therefore, any fear/fright/dread that falls outside of those neat little boxes, or tiptoes along the borders no longer feeds them

Somewhere Else, the Fears are much, much weaker than they ever were before; they have no footholds in any of these realities and their means of feeding are severely restricted (sucks to be them ig)

as for jon and martin  specifically:

Jon died when martin stabbed him- but in that transition to the new world(s) when the eye realised (in so much as it can realise anything) that its power was being stripped from it and its one and only remaining avatar was dying, it pulled him away from the end just like after the unknowing

unlike the unknowing, jon is never comatose- the eye is too desperate and he only vaguely conscious so he again chooses to live (its not really a choice just like it wasn’t before but yk) and he wakes up covered in his own blood with a new scar on his chest

jon is still technically the Pupil of the Eye, but in a world where the beholding has no power that title means nothing (years down the line, he will joke that he feels like ‘one of those pricks that buys a lordship’)

any abilities/powers he still has are at the level of power he had in s1, almost non-existent and mostly unconscious

he could theoretically get more powerful/back to s4 levels if he fed the eye but he is so guilt-addled and so so careful to never let that happen

as a result he is physically weak/unwell for pretty much the rest of his life- in his weakest moments, he misses being the archivist, if only because he was able to live without pain. 

Still, an upside is having a human appetite again (someday he will stop feeling bad for sating his normal hunger)

Martin actually spent more time in the hospital than jon after their initial arrival- he tried to shield him from the worst of the debris and broke his shoulder blade-needed some skin grafts too

the pull of the Lonely doesn’t reach him- not in any supernatural sense but his personal melancholy lingers and the white streaks never fade from his hair- the arm never heals quite right and he has chronic pain in that area for the rest of his life

they argue a lot, at the beginning- how could they not? both so convinced of their own rightness, of the other’s betrayal- stubborn down to their bones and so so hurt

they never come to an agreement, no concessions are made and barely any apologies- but as time and distance come between them and that instant, they make a decision to put those feelings down and carry on without them, as much as they can

a new life is hard, they know fear is around every corner, and building an existence where you never had one before is nigh-impossible, but they make it work

they choose love, and each other, over and over, just as they did at the top of that tower

[vegalocity]

If Spider Queen where to theoretically wake up fully in the Red Awakening ending, would she have problems wearing her old regalia like Spindrax would? Also what would the wife-ified Sanzang be like and what would his reaction be to his get up if he could wake up?

oh man if Spider Queen went lucid she'd be heading for the fucking hills man

she'd play along JUST long enough to 'be retired for the night' and fucking TEAR her regalia off as she just fucking runs away. She'd be desparate just to fucking get out of there, no plans no allies left that haven't been snapped up by the Prince, no clan to fall back on, she's fucking OUT of there. Her only hope to try and break through to would be MAYBE Goliath since Xiaotian didn't super care to do a lot of work on him where as Syntax Huntsman and Spindrax have all been under HEAVY conditioning, but she's GONE she's BOUNCING.

Spider Queen is relatively low on the danger list if she goes lucid

Sanzang is THE most dangerous person to go lucid. the only person close to the same level of potential threat is Syntax, but that's mostly because he does ALL the personal tech work in the city. Sanzang is someone they 100% no matter what cannot AFFORD to even CHANCE going lucid. I was actually chatting about something similar with @unseelie-robynx and we came to the conclusion that Xiaotian would definitely be smart enough to identify that since Sanzang can UNDO his work that he really needs ALL the stops and ALL the failsafes in his head to KEEP him from going lucid. If Sanzang wakes up this whole thing is gonna go full nuclear bc there's no way he WOULDN'T not only contact EVERYONE in heaven that he possibly could, but ALSO undo as much to everyone around him that he possibly could.

So outwardly it seems like he has the least done with him, there's been a sort of cheeky 'breaking of his monastic vows' thing that happened early in since in the ending where Sanzang gets got the Cult has already been fully bought into by the rest of the 'court' so there's already plans underway for him to 'Join' them and he can't exactly still be a Buddhist monk while also being a god in another pantheon. But that was more of a 'something while he was still getting mentally broken' thing.

After that they let him keep basically the same personality and traits, both because with less behavior modifications it'll be harder for him even on a subconcious level to realize that there was something wrong, and also because Wukong LIKES him like this, and as we know an Oblivon Wife's entire life is in orbit around their Husband (heh) so he wouldn't want many behavioral changes anyway.

So to anyone looking in there wouldn't be THAT much different about him, other than that he just sort of changed creeds in order to 'be with' Wukong.

The only real behavioral change is that they basically turned his feelings for his monkey up to eleven and broke the dial off. essentially a mind control love potion, he's CONSTANTLY dizzy with infatuation in his ending. he can still DO other things of course, but it's REAL easy to just go full heart eyes over Wukong and get kinda carried away with it.

Yeah it'd REALLY fuck him up if he went lucid though, primarily due to the whole 'broke his own vows while under' thing, but the whole 'being dressed up like a doll' thing won't help either. I'm not entirely sure just WHAT would happen though, since he's the one with SO many failsafes in his head to ensure he DOESN'T go lucid, it's a statistical wonder if he does and suddenly EVERYTHINGS up in the air.