#like that is simplifying it a bit but essentially it comes down to me needing to decide where we're going?

[dontwanderoff]

my pms is being such a cunt like i am doing something fun tonight and i Know i will have fun but im SO anxious about the entire evening like dudeeeeeeee

[the-leafiest-leafwing]

I've seen a lot of people say that Kinkajou and Sunny are basically the same character, and I strongly disagree with that. What do you think?

HOOOOOOOOLY MACKEREL THIS ASK HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR LIKE TWO YEARS MAYBE. SORRY ABOUT THAT

this is gonna be kinda long, disorganized, and probably poorly written but it was fun to think about so 🤷‍♂️ i hope i am coherent

first of all, i feel like people who have no media literacy or character analysis skills are ALWAYS the quickest to make baseless generalizations like this. yes, kinkajou and sunny have very similar personalities (both bubbly and optimistic) but their character archetypes to me are actually completely different.

i see kinkajou as a character who is more focused on novelty and adventure, always seeking new experiences, new knowledge, new people, etc. she’s far less seasoned, mature, and responsible than most of the characters around her - not to say that she’s weak or dumb, as characters like them who are portrayed as happy and excitable are often equated to being dumb, by both the other characters and the readers/fans.

both of these characters are often underestimated, but sunny’s character revolves much more heavily around her proving herself to her peers and dealing with feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and not being listened to or being unimportant. we never really see examples of these types of struggles from kinkajou.

i think kinkajou is also especially underestimated in her resiliency; she was kidnapped, imprisoned, and essentially tortured by the nightwings, she was hit by that venom during the competition for the throne, and she was put into a literal coma for i forget how long, plus all the other various harrowing adventures, fights, and experiences she’s been through. she always bounces back very easily and never seems to be deeply/personally affected by any insults to her intellect or general character. she gives the impression that she embraces and even flaunts her odd characteristics, physical and personality-wise, but sunny seems to have more trouble with accepting herself. it’s all like water off a duck’s back to kinkajou, whereas i think sunny is much more easily hurt by other people’s opinions.

sunny spent her entire childhood being put down and shamed for her appearance, demeanor, abilities, “weakness,” basically just everything about her. so it makes sense why, even after founding jade mountain academy, she’s so worried about being taken seriously and also making sure she doesn’t make any of her students feel the way the guardians always made her feel. she’s also (in my opinion) a much more dynamic character than kinkajou, meaning over the course of the books we see her change a lot more. she becomes less of a happy-go-lucky character and more of a sweet, caring, good-natured adult figure (regardless of her actual age). she kinda reminds me of an aunt with no kids of her own who loves looking after her sibling’s children.

kinkajou, on the other hand, would be more of the aforementioned child that is being looked after. she’s still a very independent character, don’t get me wrong, but she’s also very young and often needs to recieve guidance and protection from others. at the same time, though, kinkajou seems a bit more sure of herself and confident in her optimism, while sunny probably used her optimism as an escape/defense mechanism of sorts.

of course, being happy and excitable is an important part of both these character’s personalities, but it comes from different places and experiences and is conveyed in different ways. they do fill similar roles in their friend groups, but feel like sunny acted that way because she had to, while kinkajou acts that way because she wants to. she’s more inclined toward spontaneity, exuberance, and drama, and sunny is more inclined toward peace, love, and unity - to simplify it, sunny is a “happy” character in a calmer way than kinkajou.

​i also think there’s something to be said about the fact that sunny and kinkajou are both women and that’s part of why wof fans lump them together as “basically the same character” and don’t take them seriously as individuals or pay much attention to them and their importance to the overall story, and to both of their respective story arcs.

i might come back to edit this later if i have any more ideas, but please let me know your thoughts on this! whether you agree or disagree with my assessment of these characters, you think there’s something i left out, or there’s something youre confused about!!

[centrally-unplanned]

As I am now full-in on the body count section of The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, I do have growing complaints about how it handles its sort of mystery build-up and reveal aspects. There is an adage for mystery novels to "have your answers ask more questions"; you set up a mystery, you *resolve* the mystery, but that resolution itself just creates deeper mysteries. This of course works very well to keep ratcheting up tension and keep the story moving forward; but it also resolves tension at the same time, you do actually get answers as you go. As an author you can perhaps think of there being a "quota" for the number of active questions for the reader to be considering; if you stack too many at once its both too hard to track them and is frustrating to read about, the story never delivers.

TFTBN breaks this rule; not every time, but a lot. In particular with Su's identity/trauma origin it happens all the time, you get literally dozens of "more mystery" moments behind it before you ever get any answers around it. Its just too coy by half! Why is my narrator like deliberately hiding their own thoughts from the reader across dozens of instances where those thoughts would be extremely relevant? The tension has already been ratcheted to the max, you can set it aside for a bit if you want but if you dangle the question in front of me too often it loses impact.

And even though now we have been getting answers, its *still* playing coy. You have a flashback to a scene of child Su being confronted by Ran over her identity mystery, and she breaks down and starts to explain it, and then the scene just cuts, so you only get a half an explanation. Which is enough to pretty much piece it together, so like the tension is gone? Now when you are coy about it (multiple times after that scene!) its a little lame actually, who ya fooling! But what it did is take away the opportunity to just have a really good scene. You cut away from a character's moment of emotional revelation and interpersonal confrontation.

Mysteries, to simplify of course, do two things for the reader; they make you turn the page in your desire to know more, and they set up dramatic stakes for their reveal in scenes. Its a balancing act ofc but you don't want to sacrifice the latter to keep baiting the former.

I feel this too around the "villain faction" for the story. Right now the villain faction is a virtually-unknown group of actors who have had no interactions or relationships with any of the characters, using mystery tactics to kill people. We are many chapters into that plot, multiple people of note have died, but they are still just strangers - their stated motives minimal and seemingly farcical.

Ofc I am no fool, I understand via meta knowledge and have picked up on the hints they have dropped that they will in fact not be strangers in full - I get how stories work. The problem is that meanwhile we have had like multiple scenes of the group having the traitor debate - "is it one of us?" But that question is silly because I *know nothing about the villains* of substance. Why would any of these classmates betray their group for them? We have no info on that. Oh sure sure I have these like, tiny *mechanical* hints. Like one time Seth? He gave a thumbs up to Ezekiel, when they were supposed to be mad at each other. Sus, my dudes. But that isn't a *motive*, right? Its not a compelling story, its just data. Because the story wont resolve any of its dangling questions, the idea that any of these people is a traitor is just dumb, you would have to like explain the entire plot in one infodump to sell it as interesting. By insisting on drip-feeding every mystery, instead of chained resolution-renewal, these plot threads aren't developed enough to work when they need to.

I do think this comes back to the fundamentals of the pacing issue - there is essentially a desire for this story to be longer than it is. Its a 3000 page book (equivalent ofc), but it isn't, not really. I am ~1000 pages into it I guess, but its probably not even ~500 pages in actual content. I could do this in definitely 400. And this is more than just a padding problem - its that structural thing, to make that length work and still be decent as a story (which it is, its a good story overall) you have to sort of chop up your big moments , which sort of kills them.

Like there is a character, Jia Fang, a fellow student who doesn't go with the group, but is mentioned a bunch as a sort of wild card, and its built up right? They are totally gonna show up somehow, there is tension about what they are up to, and then bam, they literally burst through the door. Its great, they make a huge impact, the chapter ends on that cliffhanger.

And then after maybe a few paragraphs with them the next *multiple chapters* are about a conversation between other people, about other topics where Fang is barely mentioned, and then literally, literally, we get multiple other student's academic thesis presentations, before the plot that Fang showed up to be involved in kicks back into gear. Its self-sabotage right, the literary moment broken apart because the story has to hit quota.

Its certainly a case where the serial nature of the publication would make it ludicrously difficult to fix, that I totally get. Art is really, really hard.

[sapphyreopal5]

https://www.tumblr.com/brookesallow/745497230415413248/ouch-these-are-all-genevieve-talking-if-you-want

Hi there I was just curious if you’ve heard this podcast and what your thoughts are on it

Hello Anon, thank you for the ask. I managed to find the podcast with Gen and Dave Hollis you mentioned, which is in this link here. This aired on 11/5/2020. I see the episode number is 119 and is titled "The Benefits of Slowing Down and Focusing on What Matters- with Gen Padalecki". A good friend of mine showed me that post and it really caught my attention based on the things I've been seeing in my divination readings, my personal observations, other posts like that one and others I have caught wind of here on Tumblr, etc. I'm going to give time stamps of some of the highlights I feel are worth sharing prior to discussing my thoughts on things.

2:10 Dave asked Gen what exactly makes her tick, how she got to where she is, and asked her to tell people "who the heck you are". "It's loaded um and I like it. That's such a great question because I feel like I'm coming into my own all of the sudden and so I feel that couldn't have come at a better time. I feel like I had this tough exterior kind of growing up but like internally had to be this good girl and you know I feel like now 39, 3 kids and I feel like what feeds me is being completely honest about my feelings and using my words to express myself. Not that I wouldn't but like I say to my kids (was a little hard to understand her here so I could be wrong about this portion) just being completely honest about my feelings and expressing that and I think what really makes me tick is finding ways that I can find happiness and for me that's my children who I didn't realize how much joy and insane love they bring to me and my husband. I also find little things like I love to read. I've just relearned how to read essentially through COVID and I am, it brings me so much joy and walking in nature and being outside, I'm really active. So things that really feed me and stimulate me and um, make me feel good. I feel like I've turned them. I don't know, you pay it forward. You know, you bring that energy with you."

4:30 (in the context of Dave and her discovering what really matters to them the most continuing from the last question): "This is the first time I lived with my husband. I know that sounds really crazy but my husband had been filming a TV show for 15 years in Vancouver so when all of this started you know he came down here. He had 2 episodes left and then that was the completion of the series. Personally, it meant that I had to live with him and deal with coparenting which was really stressful like the thought of it. And to make that work, and it was crazy because we were always in this tight bubble with just us and our kids and it really was simplifying. It was you know like the layers are gone. The interference is gone, drama is kinda out the window in a way, and we got to really simplify basic needs. It's so weird how much unlayering we had to do and that's what I'm finding through all of this is a lot of unlayering to get to the core".

6:15: Dave said "talk a little bit about the ways you have had to be creative in maintaining the relationship that you have, the love that you have with the distance that has historically existed and the complexity of what it means to do the work that you both do. To which Gen responded "yeah I think it's finding the little things and I always enjoyed having a long distance relationship with him. It's kind of silly 'cause like it's in some ways it's like this vacation you have when you're together and then they're gone and so it's almost like super- not superficial but but it's not realistic and when we were apart, what I would do is create boxes. I mean he still has this box from um when we first met he was a port drinker. And he had a bottle of this Pinto port that he loved and so I took the box and I put in you know love letters and n' what have you and then once we had kids you know it obviously gets a little more complicated and you're strapped but just making that time. It's so silly but it's work and you have to treat it as such but without it becoming monotonous I guess.

7:25 (con't from above) I'm finding creativity in that work and you have to work on, on that relationship and um find creative ways to 'cause you know especially after the two of use have been together for 12 years, we're really different people and you grow at different times and sometimes you are like "I really don't like you right now" and then the other person grows in a different direction and you kind of have to find the balance and that creativity to come back together and that commonality to come back together and you know..."

8:30: After David asked if she's enjoying descending into Austin after living in California: "I was born in California, I was born in the Bay area and then funny enough I moved to Montana. My parents said we're going on vacation and they moved us to Montana. So um I have memories of people throwing things at our car."

They apparently moved to Montana in 1994. This would make her either 12 or 13 when she moved.

11:36: "The one place I felt was the most formative was moving to Montana. And it's such a strange thing and I don't know if you've experienced this too where I had all these preconceived notions that as a spoiled California kid. You know not spoiled but just where this world was this bubble and moving to a place where in my mind I thought I was gonna ride a horse to school and have to carry a gun (with some oomph I might add ha ha) and you know I was like who are these people? and, it was the one place in my life that was so challenging and so difficult. To get through that and through the other side. I have the best memories, I'm still trying to go back. I'm trying to get Jared to go back and I'm like "we gotta figure out a way to get back to Montana just because".

Turns out she lived there for 2 years and then her and her family moved to Idaho.

13:30: she mentions here that her college counselor in Idaho told me his advice and I'll never forget it was to "pick a college that made me uncomfortable, just uncomfortable enough you know to where I would have to figure stuff out but not too uncomfortable to where you want to leave. I still take this advice with me to every day. I really feel that to find discomfort because that's where you learn. You know, you look deep and within yourself and have to get dark". She was talking in response to Dave's discussing his son's fear of not winning his class president election by saying "and especially now as a kid learn these lessons now. You don't want to wait until you're in your 20s to suddenly get uncomfortable. Get over it now, get over that hump, get over that fear of what people are thinking and letting that affect you and penetrate you and learn who you are now. Learn to fall on your face and get back up and keep on going."

21:20 Dave mentions Gen's first role as Kris Furillo who "was a troubled teen that worked at a horse ranch and as you said, you were born in LA, moved to Montana and then Sun Valley. It feels a little bit like art imitating life how does the saying go? I don't know but outside of the troubled teen part your career feels like it's mirrored a little bit with some of the moves you've made". Gen agreed saying "Yeah absolutely. You know what the craziest part is that so I was born in the Bay area and the same mountain. So this girl Kris Furillo steals this horse, she's sent to juvie or something and ends up going on this horse on this crazy ride up Mount Diablo and that's where I lived. So it's so crazy to be reenacting this story." She did say also "I don't know if I'm that troubled but I feel I felt the role at that time I think." She mentioned talking to Nicole and doing a rewatch and "reviving the show or something".

26:25 Dave asked Gen what it's like joining a show and then creating a life with them. He also was wondering about what it's like working with Jared while married and such. Probably the very best part of this whole thing in my opinion and what really made me want to watch this podcast from that post you shared Anon: "I was just talking to someone about this that my favorite relationship with him is a work relationship. Sometimes it's hard to be married to him because he's like, Jared is so interesting because he's so analytical. I mean my husband, I'm going to toot his horn because he's literally one of the smartest human beings I've ever met in my life and it's annoying because he will correct you on words you think he didn't even know. I have a book of SAT words just because I'm like I am going to get him. And so I'll just casually talk about something and use a crazy word in a sentence and he'll be like well you pronounced it incorrectly. It's so frustrating. Also in our marriage he's very giving and emotional and supportive. He's supportive in everything that I've done and I feel really lucky and grateful. I think even more so when it comes to work he is your biggest cheerleader and it's going to be a lot of time together. But funny enough, I think we'll be better at work than sometimes we are at home. Because I'm like, this is how the kids are, this is how I like them, this is the order htat I like things in. And it's hard for me to let go I think, at home. but at work, it's just a really nice exchange and I feel really lucky, and he'll sit there too. If he's not working, he'll take it, pull up a chair and talk on the phone and watch at me and I can hear him bragging about me and whether he's doing it for my benefit I don't know but it makes me feel good and I feel really lucky that he does stuff like that."

29:50 Now the second best part that wasn't mentioned in the post you shared Anon (where she responds to Dave's question about Jared being open about his struggles with anxiety). Paraphrasing here but she did admit here that both of them are in therapy for anxiety. She also said "but for us specifically we both are in therapy, actually all of us, the kids are in therapy as well. We feel really strongly like it's a workout. So you know We know we put so much emphasis on exercise." She talked about more emphasis on also exercising your brain.

39:00 (approximately, summarizing here): she talks about how for when she gave birth to Shep (in a bed) and Odette (water birth in the tub), she was in an Airbnb house in one of which the owner didn't even want guests to cook salmon. Also she started talking about how "the journey that you go through as a woman to get to that point, it just felt so in control and so giving [power]". This was in response to a question Dave asked Gen with regards to her giving birth naturally being a source of her strength. She did confirm Tom was a hospital birth where she had an epidural. She did admit also that they chose Seattle because it was closer to Vancouver for giving birth.

43:54 Gen is talking about how "their school has gone back yet and I really struggled to be honest with you [admitted she didn't send them back yet, and I'm assuming they did virtual schooling instead]. It was really challenging and I might just rip off the bandaid and put them in sports soon because I do worry about their mental health and for so long I've been like I have to do what's right for our community, I'm not gonna put anyone else at risk, we're in lockdown, our kids will not be in sports. And now I think I'm doing a disservice to my family. We've been at it now for what, 8 months? I'm like I gotta do something. So I certainly don't have the answers on this one." This was in response to a question Dave asked her during this tough how she and her family create "joy moments" with her kids during COVID-19 lockdown.

45:25 Dave asked Gen about the upcoming Walker Texas Ranger show "where is Chuck Norris when you need him?" Gen said "Yes I'm very, very excited and very humbled. I feel really lucky 1. to be able to work again, it's been a long time since I've been on a show and I also get to work opposite my husband and I get to play his deceased wife. I know we could have a field day with that one but I'm really, really excited and I've read the first couple lines of scripts, Jared shared them with me and I, I'm so, so excited for people to get their eyes on this show. I really feel that it's so well done, so well written it's so of the times and I just, I just feel it's so wholesome on the one hand and so like cutthroat and edgy on the flip side too and it's so fun".

46:51 Dave asked Gen his apparently standard end of the interview question "If there were one single takeaway that you could leave with this audience. An idea, a question, an actionable piece of advice that would help them have a little bit more peace, have them have a little more joy what is this single thing of a question that you would leave with our listeners today?" with which she answered "you know what I always say to my kids every day? I say 'say one good thing about yourself every day', and every morning when they wake up they have to say one positive thing about themselves. I started doing that with myself too and I feel that sets the tone for the day".

Now, onto my actual thoughts about this. Now when this podcast was aired it was in November 2020 during COVID. It's now March 25, 2024 as I am typing this and heard this entire podcast. I joined this fandom via joining Tumblr late December 2022 admittedly when I wanted to know more about why I was getting weird vibes about Jensen and Danneel's marriage as I had finished most of the series back then.

First thought finishing this particular podcast is "WELL Gen, you certainly were honest about your feelings here about Jared, weren't you?" I provided a link above for the other readers so they can hear it all for themselves outside of the partial transcript I gave above. I noticed that she talks about how much joy her children give her (not so much Jared but said her children bring her and her husband so much joy) but also heard some sources of her frustrations being with her husband. This may or may not sound "fair" to some people but she certainly has enjoyed a nice, comfortable cushy lifestyle minus the husband 9 or so months out of the year for most of their marriage and then suddenly now, she has to learn how to live with him. Oh my, what a concept of living with your husband finally...

I am a bit angry with her comment about "relearning how to read" for a couple reasons. I discussed in a Tumblr my problems with her answer about her literacy campaign question she got during the Jared and Gen Atlanta con earlier this year which was a few days before my 11 year anniversary from the day I uploaded my first YouTube video. My first YouTube video was about my struggles in school and even talked about how I essentially LEARNED how to read period, not this "relearning how to read" bullshit statement Gen made, as she had a bazillion books on her shelf in posts going back prior to 2019. I decided to make a Tumblr post and a video response going with my post talking about why there's plenty of things wrong with Gen's answer. In short, her views on literacy go back to thinking that literacy problems are more or less in far away lands only and definitely knows nothing about what it really means to be illiterate. I advise she uses her computer or phone to learn more about the same literacy statistics she spews out at times and learn about the REAL causes of illiteracy in both the developing and developed worlds.

I'm also concerned greatly about her admitting her and the kids are all in therapy. Again you guys, this podcast aired back on 11/5/2020. Why are her kids who were aged about 3, 5, and 8 at the time or so in therapy? Again, this was back in November 2020 when this podcast was aired so this is about how old the kids were at the time. "To exercise their brains" as she put it? Come on all, this is a joke right? You go to therapy to GET HELP FOR ISSUES not to "exercise the brain", I've had enough of this stupid "woke" shit. I'm sorry but just no.... I spent some of my childhood in speech and occupational therapy because I needed help with speech and sensory issues. I spent some of my time as a teen seeing a psychologist because I needed help with emotional issues. I also spend some of my time as an adult today in therapy because I need help overcoming emotional issues going back to my childhood and also admittedly from trauma I've endured in my adult years and frankly just can't seem to get a break from in my eyes. Hell, as an example of how wonderful my childhood was... I have such a sweet memory of being in 4th grade under the annoying fluorescent lights in my speech therapist's office "learning" how to pronounce words like "orange" and "banana" not long after she came into my classroom to gather me and threatened me saying "I will drag your ass out of this room if you don't come with me now". Good times... now why were/are her kids in therapy at such a young age? I don't know, I doubt it's just to "exercise their brains". So this is how you like your kids Gen? Going to therapy at such a young age from whatever issues they are going through, despite living such a comfortable cushy life with dad barely around most of the time? The gall of it, seriously... There are so many things wrong with this on so many levels but you know, I know now with real life confirmation of what I've suspected hearing it straight from the horse's mouth, there's something legitimately going wrong behind closed doors without her saying it...

And I am sorry but I MUST go revisit the statement of her favorite relationship with Jared being a work relationship. I discussed previously the timeline of their marriages here, which I concluded things went way too fast and frankly talked about how there's plenty of red flags with the whole deal. I also caught wind of some curious social media tendencies of his, his family's and hers discussed here that just can't be ignored or unseen. In another post here where I mentioned in a reblog the holiday Jared broke down on wanting to die was ironically enough Ascension Day, I took the liberty of taking photos out of Jared's chapter in the book "Family Don't End with Blood". It is in the context of this chapter that made me really start to question the Pada marriage more. "Why did Gen not stay behind with her troubled husband?" Being someone who has been in therapy since she was a kid apparently, she should know that it takes time for meltdowns, breakdowns, shutdowns, etc. to occur and that there are WARNING SIGNS of something going on especially with her own husband. I'm sorry, I don't accept the bullshit answers that it's because she barely knows her husband or "she didn't know". Nope, there are always hints something is amiss, she just chose to overlook them at this time. Nope nope and just nope.

Bottom line is, even though Gen's mom the childhood psychic Penny may have foretold Gen's future husband is going to be a producer per this podcast I wrote about here BUT what about the palmistry reading Jared got where he was told he was going to be rich but have a bad love life as I posted about here? Did these 2 psychics hear from other entities different things in their divine blueprints about their said unhappy marriage? Penny didn't talk about the unhappy side of things (how convenient and frankly typical of said demonic seers) and Jared's palm reader didn't divulge who he was going to marry but implied it won't be a happy love life for him. Hmm, this is one reason I can't stand demonic seers.

On an interesting note, the Bathroom Chronicles podcast is episode 11. Around the 1 hour 10 min marker (1h10min00sec or 1:10:00 as it'd read on a timer is when that psychic Penny and Gen talk about how she learned from her psychic friend about her future husband. Overall Bathroom Chronicles podcast length is 01:17:48. This Rise Together podcast you shared Anon is episode 119, which aired on 11/5/2020. Also in this video from one of the last JIB panels from last year around the 11:33 marker Gen hesitated to kiss Jared onstage after she crashed this panel, can't unsee that for sure. Ironically while they were discussing a book called "Happy Place" in this live stream filmed in May of last year, Jared was told by Gen "No, don't wear your hat" which his fans are aware is a source of comfort for Jared, his "happy place" in a sense. What on earth is with all of the 11s surrounding Jared and Gen? As a brief meaning of what 11 could mean per that link, "The angel number 11 has a deeper meaning – it’s all about spiritual awakening and higher consciousness. Your guardian angels try to get your attention, nudging you to explore your inner self. Additionally, the number 11 is a symbol of leadership and new beginnings." Hmmmm what new beginnings? I guess we shall find out one day....

Thanks for the share Anon!

[thesharkbaitspellbook]

Cozy Magic

What is Cozy Magic?

In the simplest definition, Cozy magic is the magic involved in one's sense of coziness. So, what does that mean? Well, I am so glad you asked. The definition of cozy is: giving a feeling of comfort, warmth, and relaxation [Oxford Dictionary] I like to view cozy magic as a huge simmer pot of several areas and subsections of magic. Cozy magic, to me, is going to be slightly different for each practitioner. Simply because what is cozy to me, may not be the same for you. However! There are overlapping themes that apply here and we will definitely explore them in this deep dive into coziness. So grab a blanket, and a hot beverage of choice and let us begin.

Themes

There are some ideas that I think are central pillars to Coziness and Cozy Magic.

Comfort: The state of physical ease and free (or as free as you can be) of pain or constraint.

Relaxation: The state of being free from tension or anxiety

Simplicity: Magic doesn't have to be complicated or hard.

The Moment: That small thing from 15 years ago doesn't matter right now lol, don't let it ruin your now.

Home: Whatever that word means to you. A physical home or a person, or a state of being. (I also want to note that even though this is a focus, nothing is stopping you from getting nice and cozy while working or out with a friend at a coffee shop or little bakery… Home can be wherever your heart is🩷)

Warmth: Not physically. But the warmth inside when your happy and fuzzy and okay exactly where you are.

Connection: To home, family, friends, fur babies, spirits… all of it

Peace: although true inner peace is probably unrealistic. Creating a space for you to be have even 10 seconds of peace is absolutely obtainable.

Hygge

Hygge (n/vb) /HOO-gah/ : The art of creating warmth comfort and wellbeing through connection, treasuring the moment, and surrounding yourself with things you love.

Whenever coziness is brought up I often get led to the concept of Hygge. As far as I can tell this is a Danish concept but the word is used in most Scandinavian countries to mean the same thing. There is a lot of meaning packed into this little word. Essentially it's a term that includes coziness but also a mental state of wellbeing and connecting to your life and those around you. Which I absolutely love. Taking in the moment and stepping outside of the typical American go-go-go mentality has come to be uber important to me as of late. Enjoy your life, before it passes in front of you. Even on busy days taking a pause to just inhale and look at the clouds, or touch some grass in extremely good for the mind and your being. There is honestly so much to discuss in this topic alone, but for now I will leave it at this: Hygge is a term I think can be useful for the lifestyle that comes with this mentality of wanting/needing to slow down and simplify a bit. Which, in my eyes, magic and lifestyle go hand in hand. I think this concept provides a solid foundation for the way magic and the craft can help amplify and give a deeper meaning to those who choose to explore this path.

Other names for Hygge across cultures (Not a comprehensive list)

Cosagach: Scotland

Gezelligheid: Holland

Omotenashi or Wabi-sabi: Japan

Gemutlichkeit: Germany

Koselig: Norway (but this term focuses more on social groups and hosting friends)

Coziness: America we have no cool words in english lol

The Simmer Pot

I described Cozy Magic as a simmer pot of other types of magic. So, lets go over what some of those might be for a practitioner and where the cross sections lay for our pot.

House/Hearth/Cottage Magic

House, hearth, and cottage magic is exactly what is sounds like: Magic having to do with the home. It is the idea of making your living space and the everyday magical in it's own right. Where this overlaps with Cozy Magic is some of the concepts we see within hearthcraft. Those being: Simple, Practical, Family-related, Domestic, Everyday, and the Household. The home is a core part of the cozy mindset. Our homes, no matter what that looks like: house, apartment, condo, shack, a single dorm room, your room at your parents, etc… Our homes should be our place of relaxation and comfort. So putting the effort into creating your space is, dare I say, essential. And this will look different for everyone. Are you a maximalist goblin? or perhaps a minimalist queen? A dragon over a hoard of more expensive taste? A college dreamer just trying to survive and have inspo everywhere to keep going? A trash panda in which you huddle into your bed and only come out for food? No judgement, whatever brings you that sense of relaxation, comfort and warmth when you come home. (As long as it is a safe environment!!)

Kitchen Magic

Kitchen magic is also exactly what is sounds like. Magic but in your kitchen! Foods, drinks, baking, recipe books galore, oh my! Think of your perfect cozy night in. I bet it involves a good snack or comfort food and a nice beverage (probably hot but I'm from the south so sometimes it's cold lol). And where does nice cup of hot tea come from? Your kitchen lol. This gives several opportunities for kitchen magic to in use. I go so far into including the dining table (or tv tray, lets be real here) into kitchen magic because what plates, mug, glasses or silverware you use can absolutely amp up a vibe. Further, when hosting a night of friends, I find this area heavily involved. Even if you host a potluck, the magic in that kitchen is bountiful, comfy, warm and full of laughter and joy. Embrace that.

Green Magic

I am adding green magic as a subsection here because herbs play a role here. In both home and kitchen magic, sure, but also in other areas of Cozy Magic like what scent you have going in your home or on your person. Or perhaps actual spell work you create. I just wanted to touch on that herbs and scents and plants all help with cozy vibes so I thought it was important to mention here.

Folk Magic

I won't go overly in depth here because let's just realistic folk traditions are heavily varied. BUT. the overlap and where these traditions can come into play if you are involved in your folk traditions, is that they typically have practices around the home, everyday life, family, traditions, and recipes. So, if you were wondering if can practice cozier magics while keeping your tradition, absolutely you can tailor it to your life.

Self Love/Help Magic

When I think of the idea of Cozy, I think of really taking take for me. Slowing down at night after a long work day, tuning out the hustle and bustle of life and relaxing. That cup of coffee in the morning as the sun rises, is for me. That workout session while breathing and helping my body, is for me. My walks i take with the dog are for my fur son and me while we take in nature for the 1.5 miles. That cleansing shower in candlelight, is for my body and mind to relax. You get the gist. Self care and self love acts are something I would argue is just as important to Cozy Magic as Home Magic. There is nothing wrong with romanticizing your own life and living for you, in each moment, in each breath. Find the warmth and comfort within your own being and soul. I find that an extremely beautiful thing in this path.

Embracing in Praxis

You might be asking, okay but, how do we PRACTICE these things? And by golly I am so glad you asked. In truth, you probably already are when you do something for yourself. And that is the beauty of this. The idea is to not make magic a task or chore or extra thing you have to go out of your way to achieve. Magic can be in your everyday. Scratch that. Magic IS in your everyday. All it takes is a little shift in perspective to see. So let's see some things in action!

Types of Magical Workings to Include

Let's go a step further into magic and discuss what types of workings and spells you might think to include to make your practice just a touch more cozy. Keep in mind the idea here is easy going and relaxing. So whatever your experience level, activity level, relaxation level, or ability, there is something in here for you! and if there isn't… well, get creative with what these these mean to you!

Cleansing: I find cleansing a space, or just moving the vibes around, can help me feel so such more relaxed.

Protections: Everyone needs protections at one point or another. protecting my space helps give that peace of mind we are after.

Sleep: Sleep is harder for me when I am anxious, calming and winding down absolutely falls into this magic system.

Calming: Whatever this means to you. Calming your mind, attracting calmness, giving things calming properties, etc.

For Peace: You deserve some inner peace in this world.

Connectiveness: Feeling disconnected? or disjointed? Meditate, align, touch some grass, get some coffee with a friend to chat, have a family dinner, just feel for a moment.

Cutting ties/cords: I am a big proponent of leaving what is not serving you. Snip snip yourself from the baggage, it can weigh you down.

Happiness/Joy: get that pick-me-up, blare that song, light that joy candle, watch that favorite movie, be not afraid to bring yourself some happiness on the daily.

Inner Healing: Shadow work, Therapy, Healing… it's a journey, not a race, allow yourself freedom and a safe space to heal

Comforting: Blankets, pillows, friends, family, food, drinks… all of these and more can bring you some comfort. enchant those blankets, stuffies, pillows etc. Spend some time with friends while drinking wine and snacking. light the candle for the comfy smells.

Self Love: Please take care of yourself, beautifuls, k thanks💕

Affirmations: Easy little saying to attract things into your life

Simmer pots: good little spells that also make your home smell amazingg

Happy Healthy Home: Interpret this as you wish

Activity Ideas

Several of these things can be included in your magical practice!! But, thought I'd give a jumping off point. Do you do any of these things? How can you include them? Think of something you do on the daily, or pretty often to start adding some magical meaning to. Even if that is washing the dishes. Sure it's a chore but it's also cleaning your kitchen, which can be a central and sacred space for many homes. So instead of saying "ugh, I have to wash these dishes" (Which I still say too but bear with me lol) say "I am taking care of my sacred space"…. gives a different motivation and meaning to the task at hand. So put on that favorite playlist for vibes and take care of your sacred space 🩷

Baking

Cooking

Drinking Tea/Coffee/Hot Cocoa

Photography

Drawing

Writing

Cozy easy gaming

Watch a movie

Snuggles (pets, partners, etc.)

Walking

Yoga/Stretching

Making homemade gifts

Hiking/Camping

Make candles

Make soap

Hanging out with friends/family

Weight lifting / Slower sports (I'm a gym girlie lol)

Decorating/organizing

Reading

Warm bath/shower

Dancing

Playing an instrument

Journaling

The Tools

Okay okay, I hear you asking: "But what do I need for this?" The answer is nothing. You need absolutely nothing to begin. Remember the idea is be easy, comfy, and simple. There is no need to have fancy and extra things about. But… while we are here, we might a well. Let's go over some tools of the craft you might want to include. Of course there are so many choices but I wanted to narrow it down to a few and what they might be used for.

Candles: I feel like this one is a given in this context. Or really any lower light source to set the mood. Can't use candles? use fairy lights or warm light lamps. No overhead lighting to be seen here.

Kettle/Coffee Maker: For all your brewing needs ☕

Blankets: Enchant them, cuddle them, get nice and comfy, lay them on the floor for your spell work/meditation space.

Mugs: The brew must go somewhere. also nice stand in containers for candles. Or just drink from one for the vibes.

Cauldron: Cook, burn things, make things, cauldrons are good for so many things.

Broom: Sweep out the anxiety, cleanse your space,

Needle and thread: Repairs, embroidery, clothes making, sewing magic all apply here!

Divination Types

Tasseography: by tea leaves or coffee grounds

Scrying : to gaze, In Cozy magic that would include: herbs while cooking, batter while baking, scrying into tea or coffee, watching creamers/milks for shapes as you pour, etc.

Nephomancy: by clouds

Stichomancy/Chartomancy/Bibliomancy: by books, lines, paper

Pinterest: By Pinterest

Tarot/Oracle: by the cards

Augury: by bird formations

Theriomancy: (also zoomancy): by animal behavior

Lampadomancy: by flame

Lychnomancy: by candles

Shufflemancy: by the use of an electronic media player such as an electronic playlist, iPod, or other medium wherein one skips a certain number of songs and the lyrics and/or tune of the song is the answer to the divinatory question

Spirits, Entities, and Deities

Deities

These are deities that you might consider but it is not in any way a comprehensive list. Many of these are just ones I am familiar with but really deity related to any of the topics touched on so far will fit in perfectly. Remember this is about your comfort! Take my brief descriptions with a grain of salt… Norse deities aren't really gods of things but associated with things but for list purposes it's worded as such.

Sif (Norse): Goddess of hearth fire and agriculture

Hestia (Greek): Goddess of Hearth and Home

Brigid (Irish): spring growth, protection of women and children, protection of the household and livestock, creation and inspiration, the sun and sacred fire, healing wells, and keening

Frigg (Norse): Goddess of family, marriage and home

Thor (Norse): God of the people, protection of the home, workers, and thunder

**Beelzebub **(Hell/Satanist/Demonolatry): Sin of Gluttony, Associated with food, cooking, kitchens, warding, nourishment and balance

Belphagor (Hell/Satanist/Demonolatry): Sin of Sloth, Associated with sleep, rest, healing, mental heath, grounding, self care and dreams

Sigyn (Norse): Goddess of fidelity, family, grief

Andhrimnir (Norse): Chef for the Aesir

Dagda (Irish): Honestly just here because he was cozy vibes.

Aphrodite (Greek): Goddess of love, beauty and war

Hera (Greek): Goddess of Marriage and family

Isis (Egyptian): Goddess of love, healing, fertility, and magic

Hathor (Egyptian) Goddess of love, beauty, music, dancing, and pleasure

Vesta (Roman): Goddess of hearth, home and family

Tsao Wang (Chinese): god of the hearth, also known as the kitchen god.

Spirits

These are various spirits you might look into. Again, not a comprehensive list by any means, and not full descriptions… please do your due diligence when working with spirits.

You home spirit: The animist in me fully believes your home has an energy and spirit that is unique to it. Tapping into and working with that will definitely amp up the cozy vibes for you.

Husvaetirr/ House Wights(Norse): Any spirit of the home. And sometimes the spirit of your home.

Brownies (England and Scotland): A familiar household spirit.

Goblins: (European): Mythical little guys that can connect to the home.

Boggart (England, North Country region): Boggarts can be either helpful or malevolent spirits. In their helpful form they are brownie-like

Hob (England): The hob functions much like a brownie, but instead of providing general help he focuses on one specific task.

Domovoi (Russia): The domovoi is a helpful household spirit much like the English brownie.

Nisse (Denmark, Norway): A brownie-like household spirit who likes a quiet and orderly household, the nisse or nis works on household chores at night.

Gargoyles (Unknown Origin): In folklore, gargoyles are thought to ward off harmful spirits, their wide open mouths symbolic of devouring giants. They were also thought to act as a reminder of the hell that awaited anyone who did not attend church.

Thanks for reading 💕

[majjiktricks]

Kaz for the ask game? Every question. All of them.

oh dear this is probably gonna be long. some of these were hard…

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? i think mgsv was the second game i played (after mgrr) and i just. bro i fell in love with this guy almost immediately. hes depressed. hes full of rage. hes got sunglasses. hes even bisexual. more seriously, i think hes just really interesting. hes somehow one of the most reality-grounded characters (in a series with characters like ocelot and fucking. the pain/the rest of the cobras) while also being the guy who invented war-as-a-business and doritos. i find his story very compelling. child of war, doesnt feel he belongs in any of the places he could claim as home, so he fights to make a place for himself... oughghg... hes also veryyyy gender goals for me :3c

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? hes a NERD. he likes trains and hes a bit of a history buff, hes full of random facts (i know its mostly for game exposition reasons to tell the player, but i also like kaz just randomly knowing shit because its fun). in mg2 hes got all those fucking WEIRD tidbits to tell snake. like the spit thing. half the time i think hes making shit up to fuck with snake. but he does know things. i need fics and stuff to make him weirder.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character? i dont think i really dislike any of the traits he displays in the games. yeah hes got flaws and hes an asshole and he commits warcrimes, but i think all of that is what makes him interesting. so rather than dislike something ABOUT him, i dislike what was done to him. its probably been beaten to death but im SO sad they killed him off in mgs1 and THEN decided to develop his character. like. cmon. they couldve done so much cool shit with him had he not been shelved so early in the series. or even- they bring back big boss TWICE. why cant anyone else come back 🥺 i love thinking about kaz being involved in the time around/between mgs1-4…

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? ngl i dont think about crossovers much. i dont like them.

5. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? koi no yokushiryoku. its a fucking ridiculous song but it also makes me very sad. also diamonds by sam smith. thats a bbkaz divorce song to me.

6. What’s something you have in common with this character? i recently found out that my light sensitivity is not the normal experience for everyone ✌️ so ive been wearing sunglasses a lot lol

7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like? i think its so funny that he gets shipped with basically everyone. its so good. i love it ^_^

8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise? thankfully i dont see it much but i really cant stand the type of people who simplify characters down into basic stereotypes just for shipping purposes. ive seen a few things of essentially a bishie kaz in art (not in fic, bc i run for the hills at the slightest whiff). like. babes. you dont need to have one really buff guy and one feminine cutesy one for you ship to be good. please… hes not helpless nor is he very thin or boyish or any of that. hes almost 6' tall and fucking jacked in pw? i also hate it when people completely write off characters for being morally grey or for doing bad things. again, thankfully this doesnt happen much in my circles because i think ive curated a sane group of mutuals who like metal gear, but for anyone else who thinks this way? babe you came to the warcrimes series and didnt expect there to be warcrimes? where you play as the VILLAIN for 3+ games? i think the bad stuff makes him more fun :3c

9. Could you be roommates with this character? depends? does he let me hit it? 😏

10. Could you be best friends with this character? i would like to think so… if i met college-era kaz i think i would want to be friends with him… if he went on to be a business major and not a guy chasing death and combat around the world, yeah probably.

11. Would you date this character? i personally dont understand dating lol. probably? but if we could also just be friends/fwb thats fine with me 😂

12. What’s a headcanon you have for this character? i like to think about the mundane things a lot… if i do something and it reminds me of The Character. for example i like the idea of kaz listening to city pop while hes cooking. its a very chill kind of music and its a genre hes likely familiar with if he kept up with anything in japan during the 70s-80s. i also think he would often smell like methol and camphor. tiger balm is very useful when it comes to pain, and he probably uses it a lot post-gz because hes the stubborn-ass type to deny medical treatment and assistance, insisting on doing everything for himself. (the same guy who got back to work after like. only a week spent recovering at mother base. and refuses advanced prosthetics that could help him…)

13. What’s an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot? 😎 for obvious reasons. its just silly <3

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character. we only ever see him in uniforms/bathing suits, but i think he would be a high fashion man. slick suits in unconventional colors, barely there but somehow tasteful club attire, very carefully accented, subtle pieces of expensive jewelry. this guy likes money, he knows how to spend it too.

15. What’s your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not.) vkaz <3

16. What’s your least favorite ship for this character? i think ive only seen it once? but. kaz/zero. why. tbf i think its mostly that i just dont like zero. at all. crusty.

17. What’s a ship for this character you don’t hate but it’s not your favorite that you’re fine with? i like pretty much all other kaz ships ive seen aside from ^^ i think i was originally neutral on ocelhira but at this point i have been swayed into liking that too :]

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire? i find his relationship with solid snake really interesting. i wish we got to see more of it… he probably has very complex feelings about snake given their relationships to big boss and i just wanna dig my little claws in and inspect it bit by bit…

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don’t like? once again the only one i can think of is kaz and zero. and its less that i dont like it than i dont understand it. i probably should go back and replay peacewalker/watch the secret phonecall thing again. theres probably just a little piece im missing to make it fit into my brain.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn’t matter? we dont actually see kaz and amanda interact that much but man i would love more of that. they dont seem to be interested in each other at all, in the romantic/sexual sense, which i would want to see explored more. kaz is used to being seen in that lens by women and i want amanda to beat him up a little bit for it. i think shes one of few moral and sensible people in the series and i think kaz could've learned a lot from her. amanda also shouldve gotten more screentime in general. i wish she and chico were in gz or tpp somehow </3

21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like? i want to see him taken care of <3 i will have him taken care of :]

22. If you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don’t like? i havent read too many kaz-centric fics tbh but i LOVE it when people write about the 70s for him. or any of the missing time between games tbh. i love to see what people think he was up to at the time. i havent found any consistent throughlines that i dont like yet. usually if i dont like a fic i dont finish it lol.

23. Favorite picture of this character? the model swap with quiet. you know the one. pouty kissable lips mfer.

but also so many others. theres so many good pics of him <3 this was just the first to come to mind ehehe

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? actually, he reminds me a lot of one of my ocs LOL ive had an oc named maddox for something like 6 years now, who once i thought about it is very similar to kaz. hes got (one) fucked up eye, worked for a sketchy paramilitary agency, has a robot arm, is kind of a harlot, mellows out and settles down with his children later in life… theyre both involved with the leaders of said paramilitary agencies. they both train kids who were involved also with that same organization. maddox doesnt go and try to start his own military country LMAO but i do think the other similarities are really funny. like. no wonder i liked kaz immediately. i have a guy just like him living in my brain.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? i had no context for who kaz was when i first met him in gz but i thought he was a funny little guy. and then when you rescue him in tpp i just wanted to take care of him…….. ngl i think that sentiment has remained, just now i am full of other feelings as well. i think if i ever get out of metal gear brain rot, kaz will be the character that sticks in my brain lonnnggg after.

[knotalot]

Hi ! I saw your Aether doll, and I was just wondering what's your process for the hair and the clothes? A friend's birthday is coming up (very) soon, and they really like Aether, so I'd love to know how to make this kind of stuff. I think you're really talented! :)

Hi! Thank you for your kind words :)

My process is largely on a ‘trial and error’ basis, but I’ve done my best to make a guide for you (using Aether as an example, since you mentioned him specifically). Unfortunately right now all of my stuff is in storage due to unstable living conditions, so I hope you’ll forgive me for only being able to offer pre-existing photos and hand-drawn diagrams. When I get access to my stuff again, I might do a step-by-step process for hair (for Lumine, since she’s my current WIP) but that could be quite a while yet.

Stuck under a read more because this is gonna get long lol

I’ll start with clothes because I always leave hair til last.

The first thing I do is hoard as many references as I possibly can, from as many different angles as possible. These are the one I used for Aether (made myself because I couldn’t find any online that met my needs), though I did also sometimes log into my game and rotate him in the character menu haha

From here, the next step is to start dissecting the layers. Work from the base up, and break it down specifically into what you would make as a single piece, rather than say the shirt base AND the sleeves AND the decal. If that makes sense.

I don’t normally draw diagrams or anything like I will be for this, but if that helps you visualise it by all means do!

(I also tend to go really ham on the details because I’m a perfectionist, but please don’t torture yourself unless you really want to. Making things a little more simplistic is perfectly fine and valid.)

I won’t do the whole thing or I’ll reach image limit but here’s an example of how you might break it down:

The more you simplify it, the easier time you’re going to have.

The next step for me, after I raid my cupboard and the local craft store for the right colours, is to work out which pieces of the clothing I’m going to incorporate into the doll’s base body and which will be separate.

For Aether, for example, the ‘hand’ part of his gloves are the actual doll’s hands, but the bit that flares up his arm isn’t. The boots are part of his actual legs up until the part where it flares up over the top of his pants, which I made as a separate piece. The seat of his pants are the bottom half of his base body, but the pant legs themselves are add-ons. Does that make sense?

Next, make your base body! If you’d like to use my pattern, you can find it in my pinned post :)

Once you’ve got the base doll, I start adding layers of clothing. I always use a smaller hook size for the clothes than I do for the base body. In my case I like 2.5mm (and a teeny tiny 1.25mm for fine details and thin layers – but we’ll get to that later). I normally start with the pants.

My normal method of doing pants is this:

Essentially, I crochet directly into the base body in a circle around the base of the leg (so I am not chaining, but actually single crocheting through random stitches on the base in a loose circle shape), and then work in rounds until I reach the length I want.

Because Aether’s pants are puffy at the bottom and have two colours (*shakes fist at hoyo designers*), though, the process ends up being a little different.

I made his pants in two pieces: the outer side and the inner side. So instead of rounds, it ends up being rows. To get that nice puff, just do some standard increases in the right spot and make sure to decrease on the lower rows to taper it back in.

Once you have both pieces, you can just sew the two halves together.

The flare of the boot over the top of the pants is exactly the same process. Attach and single crochet directly onto the leg from the top of the boot, working up towards the waist.

For trickier shapes like the gloves, it’s sort of just familiarising yourself with what kinds of effects different stitches do and allowing yourself to get it wrong about a dozen times before it actually works lol

If you break down the gloves properly, you end up with a shape similar to this:

(this is not great i am so sorry – I am realising once again my reference was awful for the gloves)

But you can kind of see how it’s largely bulb shapes for the brown part, which is easy to do with increases and decreases. The white part I made separately and attached afterwards. Yes it was a huge, tedious pain in the ass.

For finer details, like his jewellery and, like, the shoulder armour, etc etc, I use the smallest hook I can tolerate. Please do not attempt this unless you lowkey hate yourself because it is torture.

So when you look at yarn, you can see that it has a bunch of smaller strands wound together, right?

You gotta split em.

Like this.

(image borrowed from http://illuminatecrochet.blogspot.com/2015/03/what-is-ply.html)

And then. You are going to use that tiny ass hook. And crochet those individual strands. It sucks. It breaks constantly. It makes you want to commit a crime. But damn if it doesn’t look good.

On a similar note, don’t be afraid to use the 2.5mm/whatever hook you use for clothes with less than the full ply of the skein you’re using. For Aether’s cape, I did the outer facing white part with only 2 of the strands in my 8ply yarn, and the inside orangey part with the 1.25mm and one strand. It’s still a little fatter than I’d like but it’s better than doing the whole thing in single strand torture mode lol

I’ll wrap up clothing here but if you want some help with anything specific just let me know!

On to hair!

For hair, I use felt square sheets that are like $1 each. Except for Aether because he has to have a Very Special Hair Colour that my craft store doesn’t stock so his cost me $7 :/

It’s a similar kind of deal for hair as it is for clothes. Break down the shapes and start from the bottom up.

(This is not a good look for him rip)

Layers are your friend! As are sewing pins! For real, do not glue anything down until you’ve got the whole thing pinned down because once you glue you’re in for a bad time if you need to fix something.

I’ve made two Aethers (one as a custom gift commission, one for myself) and they’re both a little different from each other, but this should help give you an idea of how I translated it to felt. I like to simplify if I can, purely because larger pieces tend to look a bit neater and less chaotic than a bunch of smaller ones.

For his braid, I found the easiest way to do it was to just cut three really long straight pieces, braid em, and then trim the end to the length I needed.

My absolute biggest #1 tip for hair:

If it looks bad but you haven’t finished, do not stop and restart.

It will always looks stupid as hell in the early stages. Don’t make a judgement call on whether or not it looks right until you’ve at least got the whole front part/fringe area fully pinned in place. Trust me.

I think that’s probably about all I have the energy for right at this second, but again if you have any questions or want help on anything specific, my inbox/DMs are always open – and that goes for anyone reading this! I’m always happy to help :)

[roadandruingame]

RaR Musings #22: Tested

I took the opportunity offered by a few friends to run a Road and Ruin playtest. It single-handedly renewed my loathing of ttrpgs: players are the single biggest vulnerability in a tabletop roleplaying game, and between forgetting what day it was, double booking their free time by mistake, double booking their free time ON PURPOSE, and lacking the energy, the creativity, or the enthusiasm to play for long, I was reminded why I wanted to make Road and Ruin capable of single-player play.

Such designs ended up working out for the better, though. Despite attempting to play pretend as three separate players (not characters; that would have been easy enough), I stripped the rules explanation down to the most bare bones needed to play the game. Surprising myself, that turned out to not include character creation, the play element I had spent the largest amount of time designing and reworking over the years. When all you need is the situational recognition of "a rogue, a paladin, and a washed-up oracle walk into a bar", it doesn't so much matter what all the stats of everyone are, and content-generation tools were predictable enough that they could be used to generate character stats when, and if, they ended up being relevant. Each character only had 1/9 attributes defined by the end of a rickety 40-minute intro session, made all the slower by me having to play the game essentially solo, but not in any way delayed by having to do character creation, or made more rocky by the fact character creation hadn't really occurred.

If I'd wanted to improv an entire on-rails fantasy themepark by myself for the amusement of people who'll blow off the event altogether, I'd have bit the bullet and DM'd a game of Dungeons and Dragons.

___________________

So, what else did we learn.

Firstly, that I should probably take my own [repeated] advice and simplify the character creation/progression elements of the game. If the game can run purely on generative elements, "It Does/Does Not" confirmation of theory, and extremely loose character definitions, then doing the legwork for attributes and subattributes, 60+ dual-proficiencies and skill specializations, and using xp to buy spells and abilities up a chain of ranks doesn't really seem as important.

Second, that despite how easily content could be hallucinated by random prompt and adjusted via +/- 1 of any stat, I really do need to get started on a catalogue of content that can be quickly and readily accessed by players who aren't as attuned to the game's themes and balancing.

Being able to easily grab hold of some example creatures, like a fox or an elephant, to +/- my way to a fantastical monster statblock, was part of what gave me the confidence to try to fly the story into that of a monster fight (even if it wasn't in the cards. Literally, the cards deconfirmed my theory). But characters of other races, or more specific class builds? Generating environments, like a cave network? A system for magic items, or artifacts of indeterminate narrative importance? Any amount I hesitated in coming up with random results for such things would be multiplied five, ten, a hundredfold for players unfamiliar with the system, or unfamiliar with ttrpgs or creativity in the first place. Granted, this "GM responsibility" is often handled by ttrpg players and game masters, but I wanted to smooth that out as much as possible.

______________

As an additional note to the above: I see a lot of ttrpg designers in forums and on reddit bandy about the notion of how martial classes are meant to be able to compete with spellcasters (spellcasters were never supposed to compete with martials, the fact they can is a design flaw), and how to make things feel more impactful, more rewarding tactically, and less prone to rng failure.

I'm feeling that when I go over the character creation/skills section of the game, that there needs to have more 'big' moments: that you have multiple expensive features to spend a limited resource on, but that said resource isn't so limited that you couldn't use it more than once. Players should feel rewarded and cool for spending those resources, but it shouldn't simply be "press button to win" type designs, either. It's something I'm going to have to think about some more.

[toastofthetrashfire]

“I just built a home. I don’t want to move anywhere”

still thinking about moonlight chicken

one of the things i love is how it emphasizes the importance of finding home, a place to belong and people who understand you. There’s something intrinsically queer about this, in the way so many of us who are different have to find home much later in life. It’s something we have to fight for, even the process of imagining what home can look like outside the norm.

Of course, each character finds home in their own ways. But what stuck with me the most was Wen turning down his promotion. I love that he places home over career success, and it’s never framed as a downgrade or a limitation, but instead a form of liberation. It’s something I don’t think I’ve really seen explore in quite this way (apart from Kosenu Futari, which I think does it’s own beautiful exploration of similar themes).

Speaking from an aromantic perspective, there are plenty of stories that idealize romantic love as curing all problems (especially in straight romances). And of course there are counter narratives where the character (often a woman) chooses to follow their career and not give everything up for one boy. And I do think these have important things to say. But I often wonder if there is a bit of privilege even in these more feminist narratives. The way the choice between love and a career and the tension surrounding this type of decision can be different when you are queer or disabled, when your options are more limited, and when you may not have a traditional nuclear family or social circles to fall back on. When finding a home and connections is as essential for survival as financial stability.   

I feel like MC captures that nuance. And of course, I think it’s important as well that the show offers a very different definition of love by taking on the more expansive notion of “home” rather than simplifying this to an amatonormative love story (with it’s own roots in heteronormativity). MC also captures nuance by showing that different people can have different goals but still be part of that “home.” Liming and Heart are choosing to go out and explore themselves, to get an education and work. Meanwhile Wen is making the choice to prioritize his relationship over a promotion, because that is what he needs most and it’s what is most liberating for him.

To make this a bit personal, I’m getting to the point in my life where I’m soon going to have to face a similar decision to Wen. I’m facing a tough job market post grad school, and it’s not uncommon for partners to live apart for a number of years or simply go separate ways. My advisor’s advice was to focus on the job first, cause relationships come and go. And I understand this reasoning, the way many people limit themselves or their desires by prioritizing amatonormativity over their own goals and happiness. But at the same time, we live in a capitalist society that demands we be productive to be successful, to have value. I’ve spent most of my childhood and adult life feeling like I had to prioritize academic and career success, to grind, even if that meant sacrificing a social life and connection. And of course, as someone who is queer and autistic, those connections can be even rarer to come by. Yet in the last few years I’ve found a platonic partner who I really can build a life with. To see her as “just another fish in the sea” to sacrifice the home I am building feels like a cruel and dishonest decision. Because finding and fostering a home for myself is as much necessary for my survival as career success. And home has been so limited in my life.

In this context, to make the simple claim that home is more important than career advancement, feels like an act of survival. To prioritize care over productivity it feels crip and it feels queer and it feels liberating, like taking a full breath for the first time in a long time. And I know neither road will be easy, but as Wen wrote “I just built a home” and I think I want to follow in his footsteps and hold on tight to that.  

[cqusedcarsuperstore]

The Ultimate Guide to Financing Options at Used Car Dealerships

Buying a used car can be an exciting adventure, but let's be honest, figuring out how to pay for it can feel a bit like solving a puzzle. You're not alone in the thought of navigating financing options at used car dealerships.

But fear not! We're here to demystify the process and make it as smooth as riding in your soon-to-be new (to you) car. Whether you're a first-time buyer or looking to upgrade your current ride, understanding your financing options is crucial.

From securing a loan that doesn't break the bank to finding the best deals that second hand car dealerships near me have to offer, we're diving deep into the world of used car financing. So, buckle up, and let's explore how you can drive off the lot without driving up your stress levels.

Understanding Your Financing Needs

Before delving into the intricacies of the various financing options available, it's essential to assess your budget and financial situation. Take the time to evaluate your monthly income, existing financial commitments, and the maximum amount you can comfortably allocate towards a car payment.

Understanding your budget will provide clarity on the type of financing that aligns with your needs, ensuring that you make a financial decision that is within your means.

Types of Financing Options

1. Traditional Auto Loans

One of the most common financing options for purchasing a used car is through traditional auto loans. These loans typically come with fixed interest rates and repayment terms, providing borrowers with a clear understanding of their financial obligations.

When exploring traditional auto loans, it's important to delve into the eligibility requirements and application process. Understanding what lenders look for in potential borrowers can help you prepare and present a strong case for loan approval.

2. In-House Financing from Dealerships

For individuals with limited credit history or poor credit scores, in-house financing from used car dealerships near me can be a viable option. This type of financing offers benefits such as a simplified application process and more flexible eligibility requirements.

However, it's important to thoroughly understand the terms and conditions associated with dealership financing, including interest rates and potential fees. Being aware of the specifics will help you make an informed decision that aligns with your financial goals.

3. Lease-to-Own Programs

Lease-to-own programs provide an alternative approach to car ownership, offering advantages such as lower monthly payments and the potential to own the vehicle at the end of the lease term.

Before opting for a lease-to-own arrangement, it's crucial to consider the long-term financial implications and the total cost of ownership. Understanding the key considerations will empower you to weigh the pros and cons effectively.

4. Third-party lenders and Credit Unions

Exploring alternative lending options outside of traditional banks can lead to competitive rates and more personalised customer service. Third-party lenders and credit unions offer unique financing solutions that cater to a diverse range of financial situations.

Knowing how to approach these institutions and understanding their lending criteria can open up additional avenues for securing favourable financing terms.

Comparing Financing Options

Evaluating the pros and cons of each financing method based on your individual circumstances is imperative.

Take the time to compare the interest rates, repayment terms, and overall cost of each financing option. It's also essential to consider factors such as future financial stability and the potential impact on your credit score.

By conducting a comprehensive comparison, you can confidently select the financing option that best aligns with your long-term financial goals.

Negotiating Terms and Conditions

When it comes to negotiating favourable interest rates, down payments, and repayment schedules with lenders or dealerships, preparation is key.

Take the time to research current interest rates and understand the factors that can influence the terms of your financing. Being well-informed and assertive during negotiations can lead to more favourable financing terms, ultimately benefiting your financial well-being.

Finalising Your Decision

Armed with a deep understanding of the various financing options, it's time to make an informed decision. Consider all available options, weigh the associated costs and benefits, and choose the financing option that best suits your financial goals.

Remember, this decision will have a lasting impact on your financial well-being, so it's crucial to approach it with diligence and thorough consideration.

Conclusion

With this guide, you are equipped with the knowledge needed to confidently navigate through the array of financing options at used car dealerships near me with the best deals. Remember to take your time, compare offers, and choose the option that best suits your financial goals. When it comes to financing a used car, having a clear understanding of your options is key.

By arming yourself with knowledge and taking a proactive approach, you can ensure that you make a sound financial investment that aligns with your long-term goals.

Source: https://medium.com/@sssssmmmyyyymuessy/the-ultimate-guide-to-financing-options-at-used-car-dealerships-114c1cc9435b 

[coffeeandritalin]

Alrighty you're the first blog I thought of when I needed TGCF explanations...

Im on the last chapter of the seven seas English volume 1, and while I'm loving this characterization of Xie Lian and the playful flirty and mysterious dynamic he's got going on with San Lang, I am feeling a bit lost in the overall narrative. There are many names and places and events that happen quickly and I'm feeling like my lack of experience with ancient Chinese culture and xianxia novel tropes is holding me back.

Is there any way I can get an overview simplified version of volume 1 events as I dive into volume 2? Cause my head is spinning a little bit!

Thank you!

Oh goody! I was just wondering what I should do with my life after finishing the novel ^_~. Time for a re-read/skim-through of the novel! So fair warning, you are coming to an ADHDer for an overview, and conciseness is a challenge.

The Gist

Book 1 is basically a series of missions, debriefs, and slice-of-life moments. We have the present/main story arc with various side arcs. All of these things tie into the larger plot, so I will do my best to summarize the main arc while noting the side arcs.

**Below There be Spoilers!**

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Prologue

Book 1 starts with a 'once upon a time' type of overview of Xie Lian's life up to his third ascension. Narratives from this prologue will be repeatedly referenced throughout the novel. (Something to also keep in mind is that with MXTX's writing, 'rumors' often aren't what they seem to be at first glance.)

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Chapter 1: Third Ascension

We officially start the story with Xie Lian's third ascension. We meet Ling Wen, a literary/civil god who is there to onboard Xie Lian for the third time and let him know he owes a ton of debt already. (The Palace of Ling Wen is basically the NSA + FBI + CIA + IRS.) We are introduced to the spiritual communication array (aka an office-wide conference call) and meet Mu Qing and Feng Xin, both of whom used to serve under Xie Lian but later ascended to the Heavenly Realm on their own. (Xie Lian, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin have a lot of history together and are commonly referred to as the XianLe Trio.) The Heavenly Emperor, Jun Wu, helps Xie Lian out with his debt by sending him on a mission (aka an opportunity to earn a bunch of merits, heavenly currency).

Other things to note: A god's spiritual power comes from their followers' beliefs (like Santa Clause and Tinkerbell). The more followers you have, the more powerful you are. Xie Lian has very low spiritual powers for 2 reasons. (1) He is restrained by curse shackles which basically only let him charge his powers up to 20% max at any time. (2) He essentially has no more followers. This lack of followers also affects his wealth. As a general simplification, followers' monetary offerings convert to merits, the heavenly currency. No followers = no merits. One of the things Xie Lian needs to do as a god is to establish a base of followers.

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Chapter 1-5: Ghost Bridegroom Arc

(Note: 7Seas uses the term 'ghost groom', but I'm too used to calling it the ghost bridegroom. Just know that they're referring to the same character.)

Xie Lian arrives at Mount YuJun (which is in the north, aka martial god Pei Ming/Ming Guang's domain) and is greeted by his boyfriend a silver butterfly. Two junior officials, Nan Feng and Fu Yao, are sent down to assist him. The trio makes plans to capture the ghost bridegroom and receive some assistance from a mortal girl named Xiao Ying. Xie Lian solves the mystery of the ghost bridegroom, who is (sike!) actually a ghost bride named Xuan Ji. Xuan Ji is one of Pei Ming's (martial god of the north) many former lovers but is the only one who turned into a ghost due to her obsession with Pei Ming. There's a mild concern that Xie Lian might get on Pei Ming's bad side since the mess from this case is now thrown on Pei Ming's plate.

Side Arcs:

More XianLe trio backstories (Xie Lian, Feng Xin, Mu Qing).

First mention of Xie Lian's cursed shackles from his banishments.

There's a creepy child's voice.

A creepypasta + romantic walk takes place.

There's a forest of bodies bleeding down, set up by XuanJi as a sacrifice to Green Ghost since she's his subordinate.

There's a youth whose head is covered in bandages, and we get our first mention of the Human Face Disease.

Character Notes: - Feng Xin = Nan Yang / Ju Yang (martial god of the Southeast) - Mu Qing = Xuan Zhen (martial god of the Southwest) - Nan Feng = subordinate of Feng Xin - Fu Yao = subordinate of Mu Qing - Pei Ming = Ming Guang (martial god of the north) - Pei Xiu = descendent of Pei Ming (martial god) - RuoYe = a spiritual device that belongs to Xie Lian - Xuan Ji = subordinate of Green Ghost - Green Ghost, Qi Rong = one of the Four Calamities and the only one in the group who isn't a Supreme

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Chapter 5: Debrief + Hua Cheng Setup

Xie Lian gives Ling Wen a debrief of the mission and notifies her of the bandage-wrapped youth. We have another office-wide conference call. Xuan Ji and Qi Rong get discussed, and we learn more about Qi Rong. The creepy child is mentioned again. Next, we get a rundown of the Four Calamities. Xie Lian has a notable and negative reaction to hearing about White No-Face (in fandom, you will also see him referred to as Bai WuXiang). We then get to hear a little bit about Hua Cheng's history and why he's the terror of the heavens. (Note: Xie Lian is already simping.)

The Four Famous Tales - The Young Lord Who Poured Wine - The Prince Who Pleased God (Xie Lian) - The General Who Snapped His Sword (Pei Ming) - The Princess Who Slit Her Throat

The Four Calamities / Four Kings of the Ghost Realm - Ship-Sinking Black Water - Night-Touring Green Lantern (Qi Rong/Green Ghost) - White Clothed Calamity (White No-Face / Bai WuXiang) - Crimson Rain Sought Flower (Hua Cheng)

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Chapter 6: San Lang

Xie Lian's debt is miraculously paid off. Not having much to do in the Heavenly Realm at the moment, Xie Lian swans off to build a shrine for himself in the Mortal Realm (because he needs followers). He meets San Lang, and the two immediately hit it off. Xie Lian learns about Water Master Wudu and Hua Cheng from San Lang. After some minor incidents, the two become shrine-mates (*gasp* and they were shrine-mates!). Xie Lian starts suspecting that San Lang isn't who he says he is and implements several tests to see if San Lang is actually mortal. (There's a lot of character and relationship development in this chapter.) (It also hurts to not include all the cute domesticity in this chapter.)

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Chapter 7-10: BanYue Kingdom Arc

(Oh boy... this is a long one and hard to keep short. MXTX does a beautiful job of using 'he said, she said' to tell the same story through multiple perspectives, making the reader work to piece it all together. I really struggled on deciding what was important to include here.)

A mysterious cultivator shows up saying he escaped from BanYue Pass. Notably, this cultivator is actually a suspiciously well-made shell. San Lang invites himself on Xie Lian's self-imposed mission. Fu Yao and Nan Feng show up again to aid Xie Lian. Xie Lian and San Lang basically solve the mystery of BanYue Kingdom together, while Fu Yao and Nan Feng primarily serve as 'the muscle.' (Note: I affectionately call these 4 'the quartet' - Xie Lian, San Lang, Fu Yao, and Nan Feng.)

Providing as concise of a mission report as I can... Pei Xiu and Ban Yue grew up on the borders of the Kingdoms of Yong'An and BanYue and became friends. Ban Yue is a halfie. After she learns some dark magic and can control the scorpion-tailed snakes, Pei Xiu instructs her to infiltrate the BanYue Kingdom. Ban Yue does this successfully with the help of KeMo, a BanYue general. This infiltration quickens the impending annihilation of the BanYue Kingdom, so the betrayed KeMo hates Ban Yue and Pei Xiu. This is how Pei Xiu ascended.

Meanwhile, the annihilation leaves behind a ton of resentful spirits consisting of the BanYue soldiers and Ban Yue. They are locked in a neverending battle against each other. To disperse the resentful spirits of the BanYue soldiers, their spirits either need to be killed or fed humans (don't ask me about the science). Pei Xiu can't pursue the former option because of public image, so he opts for the second in an attempt to disperse the resentful spirits as fast as possible. This is a huge no-no, so he ends up getting 'arrested' by the Wind Master.

Side Arcs:

San Lang builds a door for PuQi village (yes, of course, this is very important lol).

Fu Yao and Nan Feng are suspiciously suspicious of San Lang and are determined to uncover his real identity. There's a lot of interesting tension between Fu Yao/Nan Feng and San Lang.

Xie Lian and San Lang are basically on an adventure date, and there is a lot of relationship development. Xie Lian is already very attached to San Lang. San Lang essentially reveals his identity in order to keep Xie Lian safe.

The backstory of General Hua Xie (aka one of Xie Lian's past identities). Xie Lian took in Ban Yue during this period before he swanned off elsewhere.

While traveling through BanYue Pass, the quartet come across some traveling merchants. One of the merchants and Xie Lian get stung by scorpion-tailed snakes, causing three of the quartet to travel into BanYue Kingdom to find the antidote (Fu Yao stays behind to guard the merchants). Everyone gets healed, and Xie Lian gets some new followers (yay!).

The Wind Master stirred up the sand twister to try and prevent Xie Lian from getting further involved in Pei Ming's stuff. There's apparently a bit of a power struggle between Pei Ming (martial god of the north) and Quan YiZhen (martial god of the west).

Notable Mentions:

Lots of references to the difficulties the XianLe trio faced during Xie Lian's first banishment.

FangXin, a state preceptor of Yong'An, is mentioned.

The Wind Master's mysterious lady friend is suspected to be on of the other elemental gods.

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Chapter 11: HuaLian

Xie Lian deduces San Lang's real identity. San Lang confirms he is actually Hua Cheng and that he was the one who 'robbed the marriage sedan' during the ghost bridegroom arc. More relationship development between HuaLian. We learn that Hua Cheng earned his Calamity moniker by wiping out Qi Rong's lair. Blackwater, one of the Four Calamities, gets mentioned again. There's a lot of meaningful conversation between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, and Xie Lian receives a lot of much-needed acceptance. Hua Cheng promises to use his real appearance to greet Xie Lian the next time they meet. Hua Cheng disappears the following day, and Xie Lian finds that a chain with a crystal-clear ring has been set around his neck.

Side Arc:

Xie Lian brought Ban Yue back with him to PuQi Shrine. The two have a heart-to-heart, and there are some insights into Xie Lian's motivations and character.

Ban Yue chose to stay at BanYue Pass. She allowed the BanYue soldiers to capture and 'murder' her over and over in order to help their resentment disperse over time (but it's a slow process). Other than outright killing their spirits (as HC did), the next fastest way to disperse their spirits was to feed them the living. It's implied that Pei Xiu opted for this in the hopes of releasing Ban Yue from her own punishment sooner.

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And thus endeth Book 1! I hope this is helpful in teasing out the storyline a little bit. I struggle to keep my own thoughts organized, so hopefully this doesn't end up confusing you more ^_^'. Let me know if you want clarifications on any particular parts!

[flickeringart]

The conflict between Aquarius and Taurus

I have written before about the signs that square each other in astrology and their conflicting energies. In this post I’m honing in on the Aquarius-Taurus square. This conflict can play itself out within your own natal chart if you have planets in both Aquarius and Taurus or between you and someone else. For example, if you have an Aquarius Sun and a Taurus Moon you’ll experience this archetypal friction within yourself. Or, say that you are an Aquarius Sun in a relationship with a Taurus Sun - then you’ll experience friction between yourself and the other person. I’m going go over hypothetical scenarios inspired by everyday life and my own personal experiences with this square. Needless to say, no one is only Aquarius and only Taurus and people are more complex than these scenarios reflect. But it’s sometimes useful to simplify and generalize.

Scenario 1 (Aquarius Sun – Taurus Sun)

Aquarius: I think that the individual has a lot of potential. I believe in humanity, we’ve come so far. I see no reason to worry; we’ll come out of this crisis. As long as we all commit to making the world a better place and have respect for each other I don’t see how we could fail. Look how much change that has happened in such a small amount of time. Things are really moving forward. I sure strive to leave the world a better place- if I can help to progress things in my short lifetime I’ve played my part.

Taurus: I mean there’s a lot to be done and we should absolutely get to it. People just have to take what works and stick to it. It’s not that difficult.

Aquarius: I think it’s a little bit more complicated than that. The things that “work” don’t necessarily work very well because there are a lot of dysfunctions that we’re blind to as a society. I think people should be offered equal opportunity and be treated with respect. We have abandoned and turned our backs on certain groups that need our active support.

Taurus: But some things have been the same for ages. I think that we can try to be as kind and loyal as we can as human beings but it’s impossible to take responsibility for all the dysfunctions and problems of the world. When it comes down to it we’re all the same, we live and we die, isn’t that right? I’m just here minding my own business and I take good care of those that are closest to me.

Aquarius: I appreciate your perspective, you’re absolutely right. I think we have different approaches and see things differently though. I’m always trying to understand all people to the best of my ability. I think that if we all did, life would be a little bit better. There's a need for change on many levels.

Taurus: I just know that I’d like to hold onto the good life I’ve established for myself and provide for my family and myself. I don’t take such idealistic stances; it’s not possible to make your own life good while caring about everyone an equal amount. I don’t see how you do it.

This scenario illustrates the basic conflict between these signs. Aquarius is an air sign of idealism and collective aspirations for a better, more equal and fair world. Aquarius Suns often have an idea of what is more progressive and more evolved that they want to promote and push society toward. They are, however, not very personal – they aim to behave and act according to their ideas which often makes them a little bit detached in relationships. Essentially, they are stubbornly overriding their human instincts, determined to be polite and civil no matter what. Taurus is an earth sign of physical comfort and personal value. While Aquarius is loyal to an ideal, Taurus is loyal to physical stability, familiarity and beauty that can be experienced through the senses. Aquarius doesn’t place value on the basics of life (only in theory) and intellectualizes everything. Taurus has more common sense and real understanding of what it means to live a good personal life that isn’t based on fancy abstract concepts of change and progression. The downfall of Taurus is being too anchored in the physical and being unable to see beyond “common sense” .

Scenario 2 (Aquarius Sun – Taurus Moon combo)

Aquarius-Taurus: I don’t really know what to do; I don’t want to go back to that job because I felt completely drained and miserable after every shift. I have to stay because a paycheck is keeping me somewhat stable but I don’t approve of how they treat their staff at all. If I didn’t have people that relied on me I would’ve quit immediately.

Friend: I’m so sorry.

Aquarius-Taurus: Yeah, well. It’s the way it is – I get through the day. It’s not that bad, I have a roof over my head and comforts to come home to. I come home, sleep and forget my frustrations and do it all over again. Ideally I wouldn’t be ok with it, but I am. After I quit this job I will take a stand. People should be treated with respect and as equals, the rules should be stated clearly and they should be followed. There shouldn’t be any unspoken and unofficial business going on – the workplace should be as respectful and open-minded as possible.

Friend: Sounds like you would make a good manager.

Aquarius-Taurus: Perhaps I would. I just want to improve things for everyone. Things don’t have to be run the way they’ve always been. It’s a matter of changing one’s perspective. Though I’m not sure that I would like to supervise people… I have more important things to do – bigger movements to be part of. I don’t know. We’ll see. I’m taking it one step at a time.

Friend: I feel like you’re a bit torn.

Aquarius-Taurus: I guess I am. I want to improve things in my life but I don’t think that I’ll be up for it. You know, I’m quite happy just staying in my lane and doing my own thing without worrying about what’s right or wrong and what could be better. But, if I do that, dreams will be left unfulfilled and I haven’t really contributed anything to humanity. I want to share my ideas and perspective with people because it might change something, create more awareness and progress.

This scenario is another classic Aquarius-Taurus clash. The Aquarius Sun wants to make a change in some way, but the Taurus Moon can’t really be bothered. For Taurus everything is a physical process and it “is what it is”. For Aquarius it’s a matter of bringing enlightenment to the masses – to do something about the state of the world by contributing with ideas and perspectives that could improve the way people live their lives.

Scenario 3 (Aquarius Venus – Taurus Venus interaction)

Taurus: I wish you could be here a little more often. You say that you love me but while I do all the house hold chores and keep this place beautiful and welcoming you’re never here enough to appreciate it. You’re always with a friend or on the phone with someone. I know that you’re dedicated to your work but I don’t understand it – shouldn’t it be something that you keep for us to have a nice life together. You want your freedom, but for what?

Aquarius: I understand your point; it’s a valid claim. If you need me I will be here for you. However, I won’t stop taking phone calls from my friends, I care about them like I care about you. I want to be there for everyone – I love you all so much. What do you need from me?

Taurus: You know that I love you and will love you forever, but I don’t like how you’re friend-zoning me. I’m your wife, damn it. Please treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I don’t ask for much.

Aquarius: Yes you are my wife; do you think I don’t know that? I have immense respect for you as and I like to spend time with you. You’re loyal to me and you understand my need for space. I love you for that.

Taurus: I don’t think you respect me. You value the space I give you, that’s all. I don’t even understand why we’re in this marriage if I have to come to you as some beggar for the most basic requirements and explain myself to you.

Aquarius: I think I show you the utmost respect. I think that you should have everything you want, I just can’t give it to you the way you want me to. I think we should both accept each other for our unique personalities. We are different people after all, trying to coexist. Maybe we could talk this over more to find a solution that works for both of us.

Taurus: Give me a break, there's nothing to discuss – I just want to feel that you love me but you’re treating me like everyone else. You just “happened” to marry me but it could’ve been either one of your friends. At least you picked the best looking girl.

Aquarius: I picked you because I thought you were interesting and unlike anything I’ve ever come across.

Taurus: Is that right? You picked the biggest freak, huh? I don’t get you at all, how’s that supposed to make me happy?

These two love-styles are completely different. Taurus Venus wants someone that’s reliable and permanent in the sense that he’s physically present and can appreciate the taste and the beauty that she offers. Taurus Venus wants to be wanted as a physical being – not as an intellectually fascinating and stimulating creature. Aquarius Venus wants to treat everyone equally because it’s not very evolved to cut oneself off from the rest of humanity that one is part of. Although these Aquarius Venus types might choose a partner to stay with, it’s for practical reasons more so than emotional ones. Having a mental connection is the most important thing for an Aquarius Venus – it doesn’t really matter if one lives together with the person or not.

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Get access to more content by subscribing to my Patreon!

--

Posts about the conflicts between the signs:

Libra-Cancer

Libra-Capricorn

Aquarius-Scorpio

Aries-Capricorn

Aries-Cancer

Leo-Scorpio

Gemini-Virgo (available on Patreon)

Leo-Taurus (available on Patreon)

[planet4546b]

hiiii what was the like. original seed that s/n started with. the elevator pitch the one-sentence premise the “hey this would be cool” idea. how did that evolve into its present iteration. as much or as little detail as u feel like i’m just curious

ok i’ve actually got three answers for this. my babygirl is complex

1. i’m interested in post post-apocalypse stories and a world that functions by quantum rules and is made of multiple universes is interesting to do worldbuilding with. i also like circular stories and tragedies and doomed protagonists so here we are

2. the directly previous iteration of this story was supposed to end in an apocalyptic event that tore down the walls between realities. i was never able to quite get this version to work for a number of reasons, so i said ‘well, what if i actually have it take place after this event?’

3. the ACTUAL, absolute ORIGINAL concept, from literally 2014, is “hey what if a bunch of guys were criminals and also they used magic that they got from making deals with demons and then they became revolutionaries” (i was 15. it happens.)

the evolution is pretty weird and funny so a bit more about that under the cut

there have been like. 4ish main different iterations of s/n. we have the original urban fantasy with demons, which was named run rabbit (i still have a lot of affection for this one), then a total pivot to a more kind of fairytale style thing where the four of them had to travel through a magic forest (??) that made them confront their worst fears (???) (this is the first of the iterations called ladybird, ladybird which stuck for a while), then i just sorta took the forest out and they were all chilling in a weird suburban town with magic (there was no plot in sight here, just vibes), THEN the most recent previous iteration where they were all working in a government organization that studied multiverses.

just about the only thing that has stayed consistent through all of them is the characters, but they've still changed a like. INSANE amount over time. og versions next to their current versions are essentially unrecognizable. the first version of sam was the mom friend and look at her now ljdsalg. i made the pivot from jackie being the main character to sam being the main character (and also introduced sam's missing baby sibling) in the first version of ladybird, which is to this day the best decision ive ever made tbh. sam ilu.

most of the old iterations are pretty irrelevant now (although i still have 50k of a nano and half of a script for run rabbit and a hell of a lot of scattered documents with notes/drabbles/outlines for the rest. lol) but the direct previous iteration has a lot in it that i dragged along into s/n and just like. simplified. this is where jackies backstory comes from, where em and mel's contentious relationship comes from (although they've kinda swapped places), a lot of sam's personality and drive and relationship with her family comes from, and characters like the cynosure, eric, grace, darcy, feynman, etc are all holdovers from this version. i also in this version got really frustrated with not being able to do that much worldbuilding (it was Technically urban fantasy, but the world needed to be simple for plot reasons) and ended up getting really bogged down in backstory stuff for each of the characters that made me essentially unable to write them in the present day, which is also why s/n has so much more worldbuilding and all of them have comparatively simple backstories

its been a weird journey!!! i still really love a lot of the previous iterations and theyre all fun in their own way, but this is the first one thats worked smoothly enough that i can actually have a central plot and think about scripting and its by FAR the one im happiest with!!! thanks as always for the question <33

[formulatrash]

Hi Hazel! In F1 the drivers obviously contribute a lot to car development; do FE drivers have the same level of input?

they do, yeah, a lot actually. it's different, of course and is then again different between factory teams and customer teams even in FE but like, to break it down a bit:

F1 teams have massive aerodynamics and composites and modelling and suspension and chassis specialist departments across loads of things. they design and make the car, with some feedback from drivers. so, supposing one year the drivers consistently complained about an issue that they team had to continuously find workarounds for on that year's chassis, then that would be one of the things on the list to address the following year. or if the team overall noticed that the way the PU was packaged, say (I am massively simplifying here but bear with me) was causing drivers to have to manage temperatures more at some phases of a race then they'd look at changing that.

drivers can feedback about the power unit but to be honest, that mostly gets developed without them seeing it and it's only when you get to pre-season testing that they'd probably be able to take much of a view.

in Formula E there's no (or very little) chassis development because everyone uses the same chassis and battery. but what there is is plenty of pre-homologation private power train testing; an FE manufacturer gets 14 days (which they can share with their customers if they feel nice) to test their new powertrain before it gets signed off at pre-season collective testing.

that means the powertrain, while still in phases of development, can be in the car with the driver directly feeding back about it. of course, the data is a lot of what will be looked at but the experience of the driver and the way it performs will also be really important. F1 does have development testing, of course (heck, half the teams are using the grands prix for that this year) but it's at a more refined phase of development.

what F1 drivers and FE drivers have in common is that they have to then do a lot of sim work to set up the programming for various tracks. in F1 this is sort of a moveable thing, so if they turn up with the wrong settings then they throw Jake Dennis or whoever their sim driver is into a dark room for 48h until they've come up with better ones, which can be continuously updated into the car.

in Formula E the maps and the programming have to be submitted a week before a race, in an effort to stop skilful cheating on both a cheeky torque vectoring and also massive cost level. to run the kind of data centres that F1 does over a race weekend is a massive expense and FE teams fought really hard to make sure they were ruled out, to avoid costs becoming deranged, when all the big German marques came in.

and that, of course, goes for factory and customer teams (in both series) so there's some shared stuff. like, a top end race car is a top end race car at the end of the day - a lot of this will also be a commonality with hypercar or any car where there is a continuous development element.

the other thing is that there are not many Formula E drivers. I know that might sound stupid because mathematically there are even fewer Formula 1 drivers but a lot of young drivers spend their whole careers aiming at F1, they spend time in F1 simulators, they understand (in principal) the way that F1 is raced because despite the hybrid element it's essentially a conventional race car, albeit a mindbogglingly good one.

in Formula E the racing is extremely unconventional and you kind of need people with experience of doing it to at least calibrate your sim. but ideally they'd also be doing most of the year-round work because the racing is so dependent on them being able to interpret codes and numbers while doing it. because the drivers have more information than the pit wall (there's no real live garage telemetry) the entire race strategy has to be executed by the driver alone, so where they sit with that becomes much less about the team giving them enough information to be able to drive and more about the team being dependent on them to be able to understand everything available and put it to use. so they spend a lot of time developing systems for themselves and the team to communicate, which is an operational development thing that a lot of F1 drivers wouldn't really need to do.

where teams have operational issues then occasionally that'll be the subject of a debrief, of course - from strategy to like "I couldn''t understand you were telling me to pit, so I couldn't do it" and that's all important but it's just the different dynamics of the way the team and driver interacts with the car during sessions.

so: tl;dr yes they do a lot of development, no it's not quite the same, some of it happens at different stages of the season or race weekend compared to F1.

[number5theboy]

Please elaborate on how Five could've turned into the most insufferable character to watch

Thanks for asking me to elaborate on this text post:

@tessapercygranger​, @waywardd1​ and @margarita-umbrella​ also wanted to see a more detailed version of it, and I ended up writing an essay that’s longer than some of my actual academic essays. So buckle up.

WHY NUMBER FIVE SHOULD BE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS CHARACTER IN TV HISTORY, AND HOW HE MANAGES NOT TO BE

Number Five: The Concept That Could Go Horribly Wrong

Alright, let’s first look at Five in theory in an overarching way, without taking into account the execution of the show. The basic set-up of the character, of course, is being a 58-year-old consciousness in a teenager’s body, due to a miscalculation in time travel. Right off the bat, Five is bar none the most overpowered of the siblings; by the end of Season 2, no one has yet been able to defeat him in a fight. He is a master assassin – and not just any master assassin, but the best one there is – and a survival expert, able to do complex maths and physics without the aid of a calculator, shown to have knowledge of half a dozen languages, has very developed observational skills and, to top that all off, he can manipulate time and space to the point where he can literally erase events that happened and change the course of history. And Five knows how skilled he is; he is arrogant, self-assured and sarcastic, and his streak of goodness is buried deep inside. David Castañeda once described Five in an interview as 90% chocolate with a cherry in the middle, meaning that you have to get through a lot of darkness and bitterness before knowing there is a good core, and I think it’s an excellent metaphor. However, Five is also incredibly, fundamentally terrible at communicating with anyone, and, because he is the only one with time travel abilities, the character a lot of the actual plot - and the moving forward of it - centres around. Also he’s earnestly in love with a mannequin, who is pretty much a projection of his own consciousness that functions as a coping mechanism for all the trauma he has endured. All in all, this gives you a character who looks like a teenager, but with the smug superiority of a fifty-something, who a) is extremely skilled in many different things, b) has a superiority complex, is arrogant and vocal about it, and most of the superiority is expressed through cutting sarcasm, c) has one very hidden ounce of goodness that he is literally the worst at communicating to other human beings, d) is what moves the plot along but is also bad at talking to anyone else, meaning that the plot largely remains with him, and e) his love interest is essentially a projection of himself. Tell me that’s not a character who is destined to be just…obnoxious, annoying, egocentric, a necessary evil that one has to put up with to get through this show. There are so many elements of this characterisation that can and should easily make Five beyond insufferable, but the show manages to avoid it, and I’m putting this down to three aspects.

That Trick of Age and Appearance

Bluntly put, Five as a character would not work if he was anything else than an old man in a 13-year-old body. Imagine this character and all his skills and knowledge, but actually just…a teenager. Immediately insufferable. Same goes for him being around 30, like his siblings, all of which are stunted and traumatised by their father’s abuse. If Five, being comparatively unscathed by Reginald to the point where he explicitly does not want to be defined by his association with his father, were 30 like his siblings, it would just take the bite out of that plot point and also give him a lot less time in the apocalypse, reducing the impact it had on him as a person. And making Five his actual 58-year-old self would make him very similar to Reginald, at least on surface level, with the appearance and attitude. Five and Reginald are two fundamentally different people, but having one of the siblings being a senior citizen that’s dressed to the nines and bosses his siblings around in a relatively self-centred way does open up that parallel, and would take away from Five’s charm as a character. Because pairing the life experience of a 58-year-old with the appearance of a teenager gives you the best of both worlds. You get the other siblings (and a lot of the audience, from a glance in the tags of my gifsets) feeling protective and paternal about Five, but his age and experience also give the justifications for his many skills, his arrogance, in a way, and his ability to decimate a room full of people. It’s the very interesting and not new concept of someone dangerous with the appearance of something harmless, a child. This is also where Five’s singular outfit comes in. I know we like to clown on Five to get a new outfit, but I think what gets forgotten often is how effective this outfit is at making the viewer take him seriously. The preppy school uniform is the perfect encapsulation of the tension between old man in spirit and young teenager in appearance. The blazer, vest and especially the shirt and tie are quite formal, relatively grown up. They’re not something we, the audience, usually associate with a teenage boy wearing; it makes Five just a little bit more grown up. But there is also a reason characters in this show keep bringing up Five’s shorts and his socks, because those are not things that we associate with grown men wearing; they’re the unmistakably childish part of his school uniform. Take a moment and imagine Five wearing a hoodie or a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers; would that outfit work for him as well as the uniform does? Would he be able to command the same kind of respect or seriousness as a character? I don’t think so; the outfit is a lot more pivotal in making Five believable than a lot of people give it credit for.

Writing Nuance

The other big building block in not making Five incredibly insufferable is the writing. Objectively speaking, I think Five is the most well-written, and, more importantly, most coherently written character on the show (which does have to do with the fact that the show’s events are all sequential for him), and his arc and personality remain relatively intact over the course of the two seasons. More to the point, a giant part of what makes Five bearable as a character is that he is allowed to fail. He is written to have high highs and low lows, big victories through his skills and his intelligence, but also catastrophic failures and the freedom to be wrong. His superior intellect and skillset are not the be-all end-all of the plot or his character, just something that influences both. His inability for communication has not (yet) been used to fabricate a contrived misunderstanding that derails the plot and left all of us seething; instead, it’s a characteristic that makes him fail to reconnect with the people he loves. This is a bit simplified, as he does find common ground with Luther, for example, but in general, a lot of the rift between Five and his siblings is that they can’t relate to his traumas and he does not understand the depth of Reginald’s abuse, which is an interesting conflict worth exploring. Another thing that really works in Five’s favour is that he is definitely written to be mean and sarcastic, but it is never driven to the point of complete unlikability, and a lot of the time, the context makes it understandable why he reacts the way he does. Most of the sarcastic lines he gets are actually funny, that certainly helps, but in general, Five is a good example of a bearable character whose default personality is sharp and relatively cold, because it is balanced out with many moments of vulnerability. Delores is incredibly important for this in the first season, she is the main focus of Five’s humanising moments, and well-written as she totes the line between clearly being a coping mechanism for an extremely traumatised man and still coming across to the viewer as the human contact Five needs her to be. In the second season, the vulnerability is about his guilt for his siblings, it’s about Five connecting a little bit better to them. There’s also his relationship with the Commission and the Handler specifically – which honestly could be an essay on its own – that deserves a mention, because the Handler is why Five became the man he is, and this dynamic between creator and creation is explored in a very interesting way – their scenes are some of the most well-written in the entire show. And TUA never falls into the trap of making Five a hero, he is always morally ambiguous at best, and it just makes for an interesting, multi-faceted character, well-written character, and none of the characteristics that should make him unlikeable are allowed to take centre-stage for long enough to be defining on their own. I know a lot of people especially champion the scenes where Five goes apeshit, but without his more nuanced characterisation, if he was like that all the time, those scenes would not hit as hard.

Aidan Gallagher’s Performance is Underrated

But honestly, none of the above would matter that much if the Umbrella Academy didn’t luck out hard with the casting of Aidan Gallagher. I think what he achieves as an actor in this show is genuinely underappreciated. Like, the first season set out to cast six adults having to deal with various ramifications of childhood trauma, and a literal child that had to be able to act smart and wise beyond his years, seamlessly integrate into a family of adults while seeming like an adult, traumatised by the literal end of the world, AND had to be able to create the romantic chemistry of a thirty-year-long marriage with a lifeless department store doll. The only role I could think of to compare is Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire, where she plays a vampire child who, because she is undead, doesn’t age physically, but does mentally, so she’s 400 in a child’s body. And Kirsten Dunst had to do that for a two-hour movie. Five is a main character in a show that spans 20 episodes now. That’s insane, and it’s a risk. Five is a character that can’t be allowed to go wrong; if you don’t buy Five as a character, the entire first season loses believability. And they found someone who could do that not only convincingly, but also likeably. As I said, he is incredibly helped by the costuming department and the script, but Aidan Gallager’s Five has so much personality, he’s threatening and funny and charming and arrogant and heartbreaking. He has the range to be convincing in the quiet moments where Five’s humanity comes to show and in the moments where Five goes completely off the rails. Most child actors act with other children, but he is the only child in the main cast, and holds his own in scenes with adults not as a child, but as an adult on equal footing with the other adult characters. That’s not something to be taken for granted. But even apart from the fact that it’s a child actor who carries a lot of the plot and the drama of a series for adults, Aidan Gallagher’s portrayal of Five is also just so much fun. The comedic timing is on point, he has the dramatic chops for the serious scenes, the mannerisms and visual ticks add to the character rather than distract from him, and his line deliveries, paired with his physical acting, make Five arrogant and smug but never outright malicious and unlikeable. It’s just some terrific acting that really does justice to the character as he is written, but the writing would not be as strong if it wasn’t delivered and acted out the way Aidan Gallagher does. He is an incredible asset for this show.

Alright, onto concluding this rambling. If you made it this far, I commend you, and thank you for it. The point of all of this is that Five, as a character, could have been an unmitigated disaster of a TV character. He is overpowered, arrogant, uncommunicative and could so easily have been either unconvincing or completely unlikeable, but he turned out to be neither. It’s a combination of choices in the costume department, decisions in the writing room, and Aidan Gallagher’s acting skills that make the things that should make him obnoxious and annoying incredibly entertaining, and I hope you liked my long-winded exploration of these. Some nuance was lost along the way, but if I had not stopped myself, this would’ve become a full-blown thesis.

[boop-le-snoot]

masterpost • main masterlist • taglist & faq

Introductory prologue. The main pairing will be established ironstrange x reader. This story will be rated explicit, have some canon-typical violence and language. The 'fuck' harvest is bountiful this time of the year. Updates - irregular so far, I'm posting it as I go.

No y/n, no "you", no name - nickname only, no reader description - race/age/body type neutral, she/her pronouns. Please leave a comment if you spot a stray 'blushing' or the likes, I write as it flows and sometimes miss those words when I proofread. I try to be inclusive of all my readers.

"Your total is twelve dollars, seventeen cents," I rattled off on autopilot, casting a glance at the cash register and plastering an automatic smile onto my face. The pleasant expression was frozen on it, stuck like glue, despite the news I had received earlier in the day. "Thank you, have a nice day," I doubted the customer actually heard my words.

One of those business-types, wearing a tailored two-piece, with a Bluetooth headset attached to their ear and brain always a mile away, our little coffee shop a mild interruption in their daily routine of making more and more money. "Hello, how can I help you?" I addressed the next customer, my eyes unseeing, gliding over their face and to the storefront where I noticed we were running low on eclairs and carrot cake.

"Hey, Starlight," the woman's voice was familiar, tone soothing, as I snapped my eyes to meet a pair of reddish-brown ones, staring at me with concern. "The usual," our city's very own superhero; Wanda Maximoff stood before me with her head curiously tilted to the side and her brother hovering behind her, examining the assortment of various cakes on display. "Long day?"

"You have no idea," I sighed, sending off the organic, single-use cups with scribbles off to Dave, our barista. Wanda's order was large, usually about ten or twelve coffees and quite a few treats, so I donned on some nitrile gloves to package the treats while Dave handled the drinks with practiced ease. I admired his stoicism. "Might be seeing a bit less of me," the woman's eyebrows rose in displeasure at my admission.

"Tony won't be happy," Wanda mumbled, side-eyeing the backdoor behind which my boss usually resided during the day. "You got fired?" The words attracted the attention of her brother. Pietro was immediately at her side, joining into the concerned staring.

"Nope," I popped the 'p', methodically shoving the food in its packaging. "The café is expanding hours and our shifts are being split now. Jeremy is dead set on me working the graveyard shift, so I'll be here six AM to two PM," I couldn't help the sigh that left my lips.

My boss, Jeremy, had opened his boulangerie little over two years ago, and as he had predicted, it set off almost immediately. The place was located almost in the heart of the dozen corporate sky-rises full of busy, wealthy people who liked their things to be both instant and luxurious. Jeremy had fit right in with the law sharks and business vultures, if you ask me, with his penchant for demanding the impossible.

I was expecting an increase in work hours, I wasn't going to lie - our little cafe was busy nearly all the time it was open - but the fact that he chose to split a day's shift came as a punch to the gut. Like most service staff, I made most of my money from the tips, and they and they only were the only reason I stayed in a place with a shrew for a boss and the worst health insurance in the area. Thankfully, the rich businessmen from local offices didn't count their money and left me more than generous tips.

The coffee machine beeped for the last time as Dave passed me the three cupholders before I carefully bagged them, arranging the treats on top. I saw Wanda lick her lips at the aromas coming from the paper bag before Pietro snatched them out of my grasp. I rattled off the total, catching Wanda's eye as she passed me several twenty dollar bills, waving off my attempt to return the change.

"Penny for your wandering thoughts?" She smiled warmly as I chuckled at the question I've grown to expect with a quiet sort of joy.

The first time she'd wandered in, soaking wet from the rain and looking as lost as a child in a mall, ten minutes before closing time, I was reading my book right at the counter as I waited for the coffee machine to clean itself. I hadn't even noticed the quiet woman until her words startled me out of the book-induced trance and I shamefully had to ask her to repeat herself, hastily shoving my book under the counter. She smiled at me, shyly, and asked me about my reading instead of rattling an order for one of the sickly sweet caffeine concoctions female customers seemed to love. And she returned in a few days, asking the same question after taking a careful look at my face.

"And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." I took a careful moment to recall a paragraph from the book I was currently reading, Murakami's 'Kafka on the Shore'. It seemed fitting, with all that had been going on in my life recently. I was still caught in the middle of the storm, unsure if I'd make it out but hoping for it nonetheless.

"That's beautiful," Pietro smiled at me, the tips of his silver hair reflecting the lights of the cafe's baroque style chandeliers. I barely managed to smile at him as he was already speeding off, the entrance door banging shut behind a blur of white and blue. Each time he did that, I couldn't help but wonder how he managed to not spill any of the hot beverages.

"Because it's true," Wanda added with a comforting smile. I nodded in agreement, hoping some of her positive attitude would dissipate the sense of doom I'd been lugging around all day. She departed, taking the sense of comfort with her, as I caught the tail end of something shouted in Sokovian - something that sounded exactly in place, coming from one disgruntled sibling to another.

When the residents of the nearby Stark tower began frequenting my workplace, I barely had the composure to stifle my quiet fangirling to socially acceptable levels. Not long after the Scarlet Witch turned a semi-regular, she started bringing her colleagues with her - Hawkeye at first, who was a decent, normal dude; he looked like an exasperated dad and Pietro appeared every thing the rambunctious son, as the younger man peppered the older man with questions about the cakes on our display.

They all had fancy names, but at the bottom of it, a chocolate cake was a chocolate cake. That much I told them, with a snort, earning myself a lopsided grin and a generous tip as I patiently listed off the more commonly used, simplified designations for the twins as the knowledge of them being European immigrants crossed my mind.

After Hawkeye came the Black Widow, and then Captain America with a sunny smile and his moody boyfriend in tow. While Bucky Barnes' expression was generally sour, the man had a wicked sweet tooth, shoveling frosted, glazed treats at the rate of a competitive eater. Both men were extremely polite if not very chatty and tipped well.

Tony Stark himself - well, he was a special one. His sense of humour trailed on the fine line of obscene, oftentimes raising the eyebrows of nearby people standing in line. I wasn't born yesterday, either: years of customer service work left me with little-to-no surprise regarding overzealous men and I could quip back equally as sharply, just slightly south of Tony's own jokes. He never overstepped, however, and with time, I developed a quiet appreciation for our small talks.

Which did brighten up my day, if only a little. "A little birdy told me your boss is being a douchebag. Want me to clean up that muck?" Tony was, as usual, wearing a bespoke suit and sunglasses, which he'd pushed up to his forehead as he frivolously leaned on the counter after placing his order.

I sighed, remembering Wanda's words. I didn't know what to expect from the eccentric billionaire; last of all, I didn't want any handouts. I'd started a search for a second part-time job the very day I got told my pay would be essentially cut in half. "No need, Mr. Stark, I'm gonna be fine and dandy," I replied with a smile that I was sure didn't really reach my eyes. "We'll still be able to resume our nice chit-chat at brunch on Saturdays," I winked, hoping to keep up the usual light atmosphere of our banter.

"I told you to call me Tony!" He exclaimed, like always, shaking his head and glaring at the back door. "Yeah, no," the man had absolutely no chill. "I'll still sic the IRS on him," the last part was said quietly. Mr. Stark often spoke to himself.

I laughed at the rich-kid, spoilt way he was acting. A grown man with an attitude of a teenager and a sweet tooth to match one - except for his coffee. That was always the strongest, blackest one we had on hand. I hadn't even heard of a triple espresso until Mr. Stark had waltzed in, skipping the line and filling the air around him with the smells of cologne that smelled like money, motor oil, iron and soot.

The moment I opened my e-mail at home, I felt my gloomy mood worsen, Mr. Stark's words echoing in my head. I'd sent my resumes to two dozen places and only a handful even bothered to reply - all preemptive rejections, there weren't businesses needing a part-time employee with a useless degree, who could only work evenings. Except bars, but they required some sort of certificate for bartenders and lots and lots of bare skin for waitresses. I tried to steer away from that part of the industry as much as I could, saving it as a last resort option.

It had come down to browsing Craigslist as I ate my way through a carton of cheap take-out, too exhausted to cook and too anxious to go out to the nearby bodega after 9 PM. One more negative side of working late shift - making my way home in the dead of the night in NYC and hoping Spider-Man was hanging out nearby should a thug decide on me to be their next victim. The joys of big city life.

As the column of various ads stared at me with various suspicious offers to make quick money, ads for 'young, sociable women' and I stared back at them in muted disgust. The 'looking for a job' section was much more sensible with the few ads I'd clicked on out of curiosity depicting people seemingly in a similar situation as me - short on money but not desperate enough to surrender their dignity to corporate greed. The decision was momentary - I'd started typing and hit the post button before I was through with my food, slapping my old laptop shut as soon as the as posted.

Hopefully, the creeps will stay away. The next couple of days stretched out slowly as I got up at the crack of dawn to open the shop, served the early birds whilst sipping my own matcha latte and clocked out not a second later than 2PM, taking home half the usual amount of tips. My e-mail remained as silent as ever, only a few suspicious replies to my ad, texts that I didn't even bother replying to. Human trafficking and pyramid schemes, was that all that NYC had to offer?

Apparently, not. Around 6PM, my phone dinged as a notification popped up and I scrambled to read it - all too aware of the upcoming rent day, and was pleasantly surprised with the contents of the e-mail, re-reading it several times to make sure there weren't any hidden stones under the water. I replied with my phone number, not expecting it to ring within minutes of hitting the send button.

"Hello?"

"Hi, we just corresponded," the voice on the other side was feminine but slightly rough, as if it's owner spent days chain-smoking. "I would like to invite you for a small interview, if you wouldn't mind."

I chewed on my lip in contemplation. "Could I ask you some questions first?" The levels of anxiety, I thought, were reasonable in the situation. It mutely gnawed at my chest.

"Sure," the woman agreed amicably. "My name is Odette, by the way," she mentioned off-handedly, the name fitting her voice in a strange way.

"Uh, well," I stammered. "You mentioned it's a herbal medicine shop, you're not selling weed under the counter, are you?" I voiced my worries meekly, hoping for an honest answer.

The woman laughed, a sharp, terse sound. "No, dear, I do not sell or possess anything illegal. I merely offer supplies for the locals that prefer natural, alternative medicine." She sounded jovial.

"Like - um, healing crystals?" I vaguely remembered reading about them on the internet, or seeing them in a YouTube video, perhaps.

"Yes, we sell those, too," her tone grew more joyful at the mention of the shiny rocks. I didn't think that they actually cured anything, to be honest, however I was willing to give it some credit - the placebo effect was a scientific fact. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

"Okay then," I chuckled nervously. "I'm free tomorrow after 3 PM."

"Grand. The shop is open until 10 PM, just say your name at the counter and I'll be right with you."

As soon as I hung up, relief and curiosity and trepidation blossomed within me, imagination unhelpfully supplying images of human trafficking documentaries, basements with chains and other, less horrifying but still unusual things. The pep talk over a wine glass that I had was necessary: it was a herbal shop, for fuck's sake. Worst case, I'm going to work with Karens who think the Earth is flat and quartz cures cancer. I could even get a funny story or two out of those, something to share with Bucky or Wanda in lieu of the usual book quotes I entertain them with.

The day went by smoothly, the café no more and no less busy than usual so after a brief detour back home to put on something that didn't smell like coffee grounds and yeast: comfortable pants and a soft sweater, something that would keep me warm but would not unnecessarily restrict any movement. My good luck charm, a large oval necklace with a shiny gold star in the middle, hung heavily around my neck, providing quiet comfort.

Heart thudding in my chest, I approached the old-style, inconspicuous building, double-checking the address before opening the old, heavy wooden door right at the corner of the building. It was like a movie scene, in a way - the day was overcast, meager sun rays shining through the lead curtain of clouds, the streets were clear and few honks rung out in the far end of block, sending a flock of pigeons into a lazy scatter over the slanted roof. The door creaked softly, the handle cold under my touch, instantly filling my nose with a strong smell of herbs so plentiful, I could not distinguish one from another.

Inside didn't look any less intriguing: the décor was outdated but somehow fitting and homely, high wooden shelves stocked with glass jars and wooden boxes with neatly placed labels on them. The counter was empty - save for a large, golden bell, which I timidly pressed.

The woman who emerged from behind the worn cotton curtains behind the counter most certainly was impressive. Tall and broad, with dark eyebrows and even darker eyes, she critically surveyed me for a moment, making me shiver under her gaze - and then she smiled, revealing rows of pearly white teeth and instantaneously losing the imposing aura around her.

"Um, hi- I'm-" I didn't get to finish my nervous stammering.

She interrupted me with a careless wave of her hand. "Here for the interview. Yes. Welcome, Star," her eyes briefly fell on my necklace while I struggled to swallow the unease.

I hadn't told her my nickname - to be honest, these days, I heard it more often than my given name. People quickly took notice of my love of star-patterned items and teased me relentlessly over it, losing heat only when I calmly went along with it, too used to hearing the same jokes since my early childhood.

Odette motioned me over, parting the curtains to reveal a tiny, but tastefully decorated hall with two doors on each side and a staircase at the far end of it. I followed her into the room on the left, which turned out to be a peculiar sort of office. I thought I noticed an Ouija board in there but wisely kept my mouth shut.

"I live on the floor above the shop so don't go throwing any parties while you're on the job," she remarked playfully, gesturing to a pot of tea. "It's peppermint, does wonders for calming one's demeanor," the gesture was sweet - and very telling.

I wondered if I looked as spooked as I felt. After all, it didn't seem like Odette and her business were fishy in any way, and the décor and atmosphere were quite... Appealing, in a way. Something magical, something belonging in Europe or on a high schooler's Pinterest board. I sipped my tea in-between questions, thinking how maybe, I could actually grow accustomed to this place.

The shopkeeper acted as if I'd already accepted the job and I - well, it's not like I had any other options waiting for me. The pay was more than I expected it to be, for such a small bodega and a part-time shift, and it would help me cover my bills with enough to spare. The customers were said to be mostly regular and undemanding, with a few rare exceptions, and should I need assistance, the owner was always a call and a floor away.

With a considerably lighter heart, I left to pad the damp sidewalk back towards my house. Thankfully, my new workplace was only a short walk away.

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