#like that training routine ain’t human bro

[frownyalfred]

“oh I’m 100% human” says the Batkid who’s been inoculated against 76 different kinds of Scarecrow’s fear toxin, has built up immunity to almost anything Poison Ivy has created, routinely goes diving into the Gotham harbor on patrol, has been blessed/cursed by a variety of deities (depending on the kid), frequently picks up random/temporary powers from various missions, and operates at beyond peak human capabilities in combat, athleticism, and intelligence.

[ashtonq247]

Kaminari Denki headcannons!!

Bc it’s his bday and I love him (this will not cover his fam bc I switch between backstories with him so much that I just have no clue)

Buckle up bc this is a very long post I did not mean to get this deep lol

Let’s start with the most obvious- he makes friends easily, but I’m not just talking other students, I’m also talking the staff. This boy makes friends with the janitors and the lunch ladies and even the teachers!! He also makes friends with the security bots and pranks them a lot

This stems from him wanting ppl to like him. I think this bc of the fact that his character sheet says he likes all things “trendy” - I think he rlly wants to be known as the cool guy bc he is rlly insecure of himself

And as much as I think he is very trendy, I also think he is a big literature nerd! I believe he is more likely to listen to audio books tho, but I’m not entirely 100% sure though. He tries to keep this underwrap, but eventually he does join momo’s book club and brings completely different analysis to the table :D

He is just generally into the arts (we see this in cannon- he plays guitar, is seen drawing Aizawa, references Hemingway) so I see him as a more creative guy rather than a logically minded dude

This boy has adhd, anxiety, and dyslexia and dyscalcula (he was able to work through dyslexia bc he read so much, but still has problems with his dyscalcula) and this causes issues for him in school. He also a HUGE procrastinator. He often feels stupid and dumb bc if it (also doesn’t help that even his friends joke abt it too, but as long as it’s just a joke he shouldn’t make a big deal abt it right??)

I say he has anxiety because of the way he reacts to when he is training- always panicking and frying his brain. I think what stans between him and being rlly op is his anxiety and view of himself

Speaking of him frying his brain, I headcannon he has litchenburg figures, which if u don’t know r these rlly cool scars that look kinda like branches with what kinda looks like flowers so cool tbh, and BEFORE u say “he obviously doesn’t have them cannonly” let me just say that his quirk affects his brain cannonly!! It’s not weird for it to also affect his skin!!! I think he might have had litchenburg figures if they were more commonly known as it is a very cool thing tbh

I also think that bc his brain gets impacted by his quirk, sometimes his nerves get impacted too. This means he sometimes can’t taste food (and he doesn’t eat it when he can’t taste it, which pisses Bakugo off) and he also can’t feel things as well (I believe the class figures this out after Denki went to poor himself some tea but didn’t know the kettle was still rlly hot and so he grabbed it not knowing he was burning himself until he handed it over to someone who then dropped the pot bc it was so hot- needles to say he had to go to recovery girl that day)

He has never been to the aquarium bc as a child he had terrible control over his quirk and that made ppl nervous to put him near water (he goes as a teen with the bakusquad and is absolutely floored- his favorite creatures are of course all the sting rays, jelly fish, and electric eel- cue bakusquad comparing him to the brainless jellyfish)

He also doesn’t know how to swim till he was in middle school (once he was in better control of his quirk he went out and learned to swim on his own bc he had to learn how if he wanted to be a hero u know? He never quit got the hang of it tho)

Storms make him very energized and his already low ability to focus worsens. Prone to accidentally zapping ppl. He mostly stays in his room when storms happen bc he doesn’t want to hurt ppl/ wreck electronics on accident. He doesn’t even get to chat with friends on the phone bc he would wreck it so storms get rlly lonely :(

Also is basically a lightning rod. It hurts bc of how forceful it is, but it’s also not that big of a deal to him

Is prtty forgetful unfortunately due to all the times he fried his brain. It’s something he really tries not to think about

He probs can’t sleep very easily due to all his energy

He hates frying his brain bc it’s very hard to understand what’s going on when he does. Everything is a lot more sluggish and things are simultaneously way too much and he gets hyper sensitive and at the same time his senses are also very groggy and weird. It’s over all a bad time, but he got used to it

Whenever he fried his brain instead of being all wheyyy and thumbs upy he use to act more vegetative which rlly freaked ppl out so he eventually learned to get to where he is now when he fries his brain

Kids use to take advantage of his whey mode and do pranks on him which often got him hurt, but he never rlly felt it at first so he didn’t mind to bad. As long it was just joking and they were having fun right??

Time for happy ones!! His favorite foods (besides burgers, those r his favorite cannonly) all have some coralation with memes (speggeti tacos, mac n cheese, “chonky” milk, chicken nuggy, etc)

He is a meme lord yes

Stans pikachu (obvi)

U cannot convince me that he doesn’t paint his nails black, maybe with a little lightning bolt on his middle finger. This boy cannonly wears a choker common

He does face masks with Mina!! I believe he cares abt his looks greatly, and does beauty routines with Mina all the time. I’m constantly switching btween wether or not he owns it, or is a bit insecure and tries not to show this side to much to the boys

Why does this show not give him skinny jeans?? I mean common his entire style calls for skinny jeans. Maybe it’s Japan fashion or smth bc if it was in America he’d have skinny jeans bc it’s the trendy thing u know

Cannot cook. Can barely work the microwave. Claims unmarked food and eats it at midnight

Has a lot of weird info stored in his brain- how weather works, psychology stuff, weird facts abt bees, etc- that he learns randomly, never rlly trying to learn them but it sort of just happens u know. This frustrates Bakugo and jirou to no end bc he knows all these useless facts about how 1,200,000 mosquitos is all it takes for them to all at once drain a human of all their blood in a second, but not about how to work the pathagorean theorem

Idk why I think this (and it’s a popular headcannon too), but he knows at least 3/4 languages. It just suits him?? Bc he is a ppl person??? I don’t know??

Gets major test anxiety

Teachers either love him or hate him no in between. A lot of his elementary teachers absolutely hated him and would tear him down by calling him stupid and annoying. In middle school when he learns to control his quirk better, teachers rlly liked him- in the way that class clown trouble makers are liked by teachers. He may not excel in his class but he is a pretty funny dude.

He is constantly either underestimated or overestimated. Kaminari himself does this as well. It’s part of the issue with his hero training

Cats do not like him. They may like being petted bc if the static electricity, but when Kami pets cats he just absorbs the static- no pleasure :(((- or he accidentally has too much static electricity. If so then only tge rlly fluffy cats like him. Either case, shinsou finds a cat that likes kaminari as well and it is very cute :33

THE class prankster. Even on the teachers! The death glare Aizawa gave him on the one time prancing him worked is one kaminari will never forget (he still tries to prank him despite this lol)

Constantly teasing Bakugo as a way to press his buttons. It’s debatable on wether or not this helps bakugo’s anger issues

He is the wingman between Bakugo and Kirishima change my mind!!

Also mandatory kaminari is bisexual headcannon bc he rlly gives me those vibes. I think he doesn’t know yet that he’s bisexual, and when he thinks a fellow bro is hot he thinks he���s just admiring his bro u know. Maybe even thinks he is jealous. He does flirt with all genders tho mostly as a joke. He draws dicks as jokes but he always puts a little too much detail in them for him to rlly be straight

Can be used as a defibrillator as long as he can focus

Honestly there’s so much stuff kaminari has the potential to do with his quirk it’s a shame the manga/anime doesn’t use it

Like I rlly want to see him use his quirk in training to blow out all the lights in a building so he can use it for his advantage

That’d be badass

Also his quirk makes him very hard to be caught when their training. He can slip out of ppls grasp easily with a shock, and he also just has good reflexes in genral (I think this is cannon). Cue class 1-a running around trying and failing to catch him lol. Their best bet is to get him to fry his brain :(

He was popular in school before UA bc of his quirk and bc of how charming and easy to get a long with he is. This lead a lot of his friends to be very shallow. He didn’t rlly think about wether or not someone was trying to be his friend or not, he just liked being liked. This lead him to his whole liking trendy things, and he often felt that if he wasn’t seen as cool or funny his friends would all leave him. His whole rlly liking to talk thing caused a lot of ppl to think he was annoying at times, but he was never rlly able to lose that trait

The bakusquad was the first friend group he got rlly close too. He felt he can be himself around them and be the crackhead he was always meant to be. He still always concerned about wether they might leave him if he’s too annoying bc of anxiety but he’s getting better :)

He is a bringer of chaos and that’s part of his charm! Never dull with Denki around. He’s always doing the weirdest stuff, and ever since Mina, Kiri, and Sero, this has only doubled!

He is always calling Momo a genius (bc she is) and they are rlly good friends

Is an unofficial emo squad member (just look at his hero costume)

A sinnamon roll I’m srry but he ain’t a cinnamon roll. He has a dirty mind lol

Peepee jokes

Probably does tik tok dances I’m sorry

Nintendo fan for life

Xbox or PlayStation?- “Nintendo wut u mean”

Abbreviates so much it’s kinda hard to read,. Like if u thought I was bad this boy is soo much worse

It’s kinda ironic bc he has a very large vocabulary lol

He only uses it when he’s being sassy or very passionate

Mixes his gen z lingo with his big brain vicab to create atrocities of sentences

”bro the rise of the proletariat is lit tbh”

He is the worst to text with. He gives Bakugo aneurysms

Yeet yote to be yoted

3am shower thoughts

Unpopular opinion: i don’t think he likes weed. It probs reminds him too much of his whey mode

He’s a good strategist, but let’s the other team members think of the plans bc of insecurity, and otherwise his anxiety causes his smartness to shut down

Very good at zoning out. Sometimes he accidentally zones out so hard during class he misses the entire lesson and is only brought out bc of the school bell. Aizawa is best at snapping him out of it

Tbh I don’t think UA would be good with mental health. You’d think they’d hire a professional therapist or smth, but maybe it’s bc hero’s are so glorified ppl don’t ever think about these issues

I doubt the teachers had very good teacher training u know

We’ve mostly seen young heroes. I bet that’s bc they die so often, and if they don’t die in battle the mental health issues that stem from trauma and the media’s pressure are such an issue that it’s not uncommon for hero work to have high suicide rates

Anyway I’m starting to lose track of things thanks for coming to my ted talk I think I’ll stop here

[birbleafs]

[fic] It’s A Matter Of (In)Convenience

Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Humour, Breaking The Fourth Wall Character(s): Saiki Kusuo, Aiura Mikoto, Toritsuka Reita, Kaidou Shun, Kuboyasu Aren, Nendou Riki, Yumehara Chiyo, Teruhashi Kokomi Warnings: None, save for canon-typical shenanigans Summary: Saiki Kusuo’s plan for a quiet Sunday spent shopping for desserts in an ordinary konbini is thrown into disarray when he runs into several… inconveniences, much to his dismay. A/N: I've been re-reading/re-watching Saiki K. during this quarantine period and I haven't laughed this hard since I was into Gintama. This series has given me so much ridiculous joy, it’s great for helping keep anxiety and existential despair at bay lol. Fic can also be read on AO3

_______

Saiki Kusuo could not say he dislikes commuting by public train but he’s not particularly a fan of it either. After all, it’s exceedingly more troublesome and vexing for someone like him, encumbered with psychic abilities beyond human comprehension. He’s unable to switch off his telepathy at will, so it’s no small feat being stuck in a packed cabin and trying to filter out the cacophonous thoughts of fifty-odd passengers buzzing incessantly in his mind throughout the long ride to the next town. Distance isn’t an issue today, however. Not that it had ever been an issue, mind you—he could teleport to almost any location he so wished. But Kusuo had long since mastered inconspicuousness into an art form, and teleporting to his destination and appearing seemingly out of thin air in the middle of a packed convenience store was sure to draw unwanted attention to himself. No, it’s not worth the risk, even for such a coveted goal at the end of his journey. Besides, Kusuo is a man of principle, one who does not easily succumb to using his powers for self-interest. He will do this the ordinary, pedestrian way.

In any case, travelling out of Hidariwakibara-chō to neighbouring Tonari Machi on a random Sunday morning would also mean the chances of him running into certain... inconveniences are very nearly zero. Forty-five minutes and twelve stops later, Kusuo beams in quiet triumph as he walks past the automatic sliding doors and into the aforementioned convenience store, barely registering the musical jiggle over the speakers. He steps through the sparse crowd, pausing midway through the snack and desserts aisle when he finally catches sight of the neat row of orange boxes with silver trimmings on the top shelf. Kusuo allows himself a tiny grin as he reaches for a box, eyes bright with anticipation as he gazes upon its wondrous contents—three cups of chocolate brownie and cherry parfait, infused with coffee jelly and topped with dollops of luscious cream and cinnamon sprinkles. A simple but unmatched delicacy right here in this nondescript konbini, he thinks, savouring the glorious moment a little longer. Still, as fate would have it, he would be reminded in less than ten seconds that his life is but an unfortunate series of daily disasters, and his current reprieve short-lived. And it comes in the form of a young woman who had waltzed through the crowd and is now latching onto his arm with garishly pink manicured nails, her wavy blonde hair already casting a dark cloud over Kusuo’s face. Aiura Mikoto, resident soothsayer and trendsetter gal. Inconvenience No. 1. Ah. So it begins. “Wassup, Kusuo!” Aiura chirps a little too brightly. Already two or three mob characters in the konbini are throwing scandalized looks their way, but to Aiura they’re nothing but background scenery and lazily drawn silhouettes. “Who woulda thunk we’d meet here like this? It must totes be our destiny as soul mates, fer sure!” Isn’t it more because someone is totes a stalker? Kusuo deadpans telepathically her way, even as he makes no real attempt to avoid Aiura’s smothering embrace. Instead, he fixes her with a stare as blank as stone canvas. This is an invasion of privacy. Also, what’s with the meta observation in the previous paragraph? Stop messing with the readers like that. “Man, you sure are a ray of sunshine sometimes,” Aiura pouts, before she breaks into a giggle and relents. She unlatches herself from him, putting some distance between them. “Anyway, can’t your BFF like, just accidentally bump into you while shopping for the same box of snacks you no doubt travelled all the way out here for?” So you admit you really are a stalker then, Kusuo counters drily, only to frown again at the sudden creeping presence of another aura. He feels the weight of another arm draping carelessly over his shoulder, followed by the brusque yapping of an over-eager and desperate hot-blooded young male in his ears. “Yooo, Saiki-san! What a coincidence!” Toritsuka Reita, the spirit medium and an exemplary specimen of the most depraved life-form, the lecherous scum. Also known as Inconvenience No. 2. Saiki Kusuo, a man most unfortunate, lets out a weary sigh. “I see you’ve got that accusatory glare painted all over your face.” Toritsuka wags an annoying finger before Kusuo. “Now, now. Before you also accuse me of stalking, Mister Doom and Gloom, let me just say that I’m only here for one thing.” He flicks a furtive glance towards a discreet corner of the magazine section. The shelves are filled with magazines wrapped in plastic, large R-18 stickers plastered across the covers and over the spines much like indecent warning signs. Toritsuka dabs towards the third shelf, waving a mini poster at both Kusuo and Aiura, and this sentence then abruptly proceeds to describe the close-up of said poster—a particularly titillating centre spread featuring a curvaceous model’s skimpily clad... assets. “Surely there’s no better reason to be here now than for the special compilation of EROmag’s Greatest Upskirts And Panty-shots Of The Month!” Toritsuka exclaims, echoing the thoughts of all resident perverts. “Ugh, grody to the max,” Aiura says, lips curled in utter revulsion. For once, the stars are aligned and Kusuo finds himself wholeheartedly agreeing with her sentiment. Before he can get a retort in edgewise however, he’s unceremoniously tugged closer into Toritsuka’s one-armed embrace, who then proceeds to thump a hand over Kusuo’s chest in a grand show of obnoxious male posturing and solidarity. “You women will never understand,” Toritsuka counters with an ingratiating smirk. “But Saiki-san and I, we’re bosom buddies, connoisseurs of refined aesthetics. Together, we’ll finally gaze upon those heavenly lace panti—A-ACKK!!” He hacks up a lung just as Kusuo nonchalantly drives a sharp elbow right into his solar plexus, causing him to stagger backwards onto the floor. Bosom buddies? Kusuo echoes ominously, glaring daggers at the pathetic writhing form before him. Pretty sure that ridiculous thump you just pulled is both an outrage and insult of my modesty. Hey, can I call the police? I’m calling the police. Aiura nods at that, lips curved into a Cheshire grin and looking extremely pleased with herself as though she’s the one to suggest calling the cops. “Delusional sleazebags should just crawl back into the garbage bin where they belong. Like the skeevy trash panda that they are, right Kusuo?” “Who are you calling delusional, huh?!” Toritsuka snaps, jumping back to his feet. “I’ll have you know that Saiki-san and I have been nothing but the most loyal, the tightest of all bosom buddies—” Refer to me as your bosom buddy again and I’ll crush your windpipe, Kusuo interjects without missing a beat, and the EROmag poster in Toritsuka’s hand spontaneously combusts into flames. “Argh, not the panties!!” Toritsuka yelps, watching in despair as the poster shrivels up in the blaze, only to catch sight of the eerie, voidless depths of Kusuo’s inscrutable gaze. The spirit medium pales at the split-second reminder of his fleeting mortality, sweat dripping down his nape as he carefully backs away from the precarious jaws of death. “B-B-Bros! I-I meant that we’re the best kind of bro-some buddies, ahahaha! T-That is to say, brotherly and wholesome—R-right, Saiki-san? So don’t get all conceited just because you’ve got big knockers, Tits McGee!!” “Pfft, brotherly and wholesome? As if!” Aiura scoffs, unimpressed. “You’re about as wholesome as your d*ck aura and a college frat boy’s porno stash. Just admit you ain’t nothing but a tiresome anime trope!” “Look who’s talking, Miss Fanservice. This is a wholesome shounen series, so how about you take those bazongas back to Hooters where they belong!” “Haaah? You looking for a fight, you raunchy racoon?!” “Bring it on then!” Kusuo scowls at the petty squabbling, exasperated at how easily his quiet Sunday was already going awry, much like the metaphorical train wreck poised for a manic spiral off its rails. He decides to take his leave then from the two inconveniences bickering loudly, making his way towards the self-checkout station near the entrance. He pays for his items, stealthily packing them away with a subtle flick of his psychokinesis, and is only a few paces away from complete freedom at last when the generic musical jingle blares from the speakers overhead. “♪~Welcome to F☆mily Mart Konbini, We Guarantee 99.9% Shopping Satisfaction! It’s A Matter of Convenience~! ♪” Kusuo frowns at the jingle. Why is it only 99.9% satisfaction? And really, a matter of convenience? Not when he’d already run into two inconveniences in a row and all in a convenience store. Is God conspiring with the universe and pulling a sick prank on him right now? What a horrible sense of humour. The automatic doors at the entrance slide wide open then, and in saunter three terribly familiar faces—Kaidou Shun, Kuboyasu Aren, and Nendou Riki. Inconvenience No. 3, No. 4, and No. 5 respectively. “What did I tell you, Aren? Not only did we manage to beat traffic, but this unexpected change in my Sunday routine would’ve thrown a wrench into Dark Reunion’s plans of attempted kidnapping. Too bad I, The Jet-Black Wing, am always several steps ahead. Heh.” “Uhmm, yeah I guess… Hey, Shun, look! There isn’t a queue for the limited edition Ginta-Man figurine raffle tickets here at all. Good thing you insisted we meet at the crack of dawn—Tch, Nendou, don’t dawdle around and block the entrance like that! What’re you looking at anyway?” “Oh? I thought I saw my pal just a few seconds ago...” “Huh, Saiki’s here too-?! Oh, you mean that. Don’t be daft, Nendou, that’s just a cardboard cut-out of that kiddie hero show, Cyborg Cider-man Mark II.” Seriously?? Kusuo curses irritably as he dives inconspicuously out of sight from the passing trio, right into the bath and shampoo aisle. It’s just been a series of inconveniences one after another this morning, the metaphorical train wreck already hurtling itself past the edge of no return. Good grief, what a pain. May as well have the rest of the cast show up next— Another cheesy musical jingle, another swoosh of the sliding doors, and— “Waahh, it’s really you, Kaidou-kun!” “Hello, what a nice surprise to run into everyone here.” “Oh, hey there, Yumehara and... Offu~! T-T-Teruhashi-san?!” Saiki Kusuo, ever the suffering protagonist, drags a hand over his face. See? God hates him. Two aisles over, he can still hear Aiura and Toritsuka’s voices drifting over: “Man, I’m sick of looking at your pervy mug. C’mon, Kusuo, let’s ditch this loser—Huh, where did you run off to, Kusuo?!” “Your petty squawking has given us all an earache and must’ve driven Saiki-san off as well!” Oi, oi, Kusuo flinches inwardly, seized by a helpless fear of watching his quiet Sunday careening off the cliff and further away from his grasp. Quit yelling out my name like that and throwing me to the wolves already! Too late. At the mention of Kusuo’s name, Nendou cranes his neck 270 degrees Exorcist-style like a hideously monstrous owl and rushes over to Toritsuka’s side. “Oh! Did you just say my pal is here?!” he exclaims happily, shaking Toritsuka by the shoulders like a dog shaking an unfortunate chew toy. “I knew I’d seen him when we walked in earlier!” Not to be outdone by Nendou, Teruhashi also leaps forward before Aiura with none of her previous composure, her unblemished, porcelain visage now dusted with a hint of rose, a conflicted mix of perplexity and (envious) shock pooling in her angelic eyes. “D-Did you say ‘Saiki’?! H-Hey, Aiura-san, you did say ‘Saiki’ and not actually ‘Kusuo’, right? M-My, I must have misheard things, right? R-Right?!” “What the heck is going on? Is Saiki really here?” Anxious, Kusuo grits his teeth at the growing clamour as his friends converge from all corners of the store towards the aisle where he’d been forced to hide. Guess there’s no avoiding it after all, he frets despairingly, and in less than a nanosecond, teleports unnoticed from the konbini to an empty street outside. Kusuo sighs, relieved to have finally escaped. Minor inconveniences aside, perhaps a quiet Sunday spent savouring chocolate brownie and cherry parfait in the comfort of his home isn’t beyond his reach yet. What? Didn’t he just use his powers for self-interest to teleport out of a sticky situation? Foolish readers, that was for self-preservation and completely acceptable, of course. He holds his shopping bag close, pleased that he’d managed to avoid a disaster, and begins to walk down the street—only to freeze mid-step when he feels a sudden splitting headache jolt through him… A flash of images appears: Aiura and Toritsuka crouching in fear together, Kuboyasu bracing his bleeding arm, Kaidou screaming shrilly as he shields Yumehara and Teruhashi from a masked man brandishing a gun, Nendou digging his nose with his pinky—That’s just disgusting, no one wants to see that, stop it!! The vision finally ends, and Kusuo lifts a hand to his face, massaging his temple to clear the precognitive fog from his mind. An armed robbery, huh. He lets out another resigned sigh. Good grief—What a pain, Saiki ‘I-don’t-(but I actually really do)-care-about-my-friends’ Kusuo mutters internally in annoyance, even as he yeets himself head-first into other people’s business and right back into the convenience store to stop a future robbery. Still he smiles, eyes soft with perhaps the slightest flicker of affection for this dysfunctional bunch of people in his disastrous life. Someone has to protect them and save the day, after all.

  –End–

[mama-ghostie-61542]

The Hamato Chronicles--Ch. 2

 Rated M for Mature

If ya recognize it, it ain't mine.

 Chapter Two

Leo’s POV

It was about 6a.m. when my nose woke me up. ‘Mikey must be trying to make biscuits again’, I thought.

I stumbled to the bathroom. I did my morning routine and hit the shower. Normally, at this time of day, there was a ton of hot water, but there were spots where it went ice cold.

About the time I turned the water off, there was a big bang on the door.

“Dude! Hurry up, I need to pee!”

“You have external plumbing and we live in a sewer,” I stated.

“Like hell I do, maggot! Move!”

It was then that I realized it was a girl. I seriously thought about beating Raph for bringing a girl here, but I wrapped my towel around my hips and opened the door.

“Marlowe,” I shrieked, reaching for my sister.

“No time, Leo, gotta pee,” she said as she pushed me out of the bathroom and locked the door. A second later I heard her contented sigh, a moment after that came the flush. Then there was the momentary sound of water being turned on, then back off. Next, my sister unlocked the door and opened it.

Smiling, she said, “Ya know, Leo, I about jimmied the lock.”

“But Lowe,” I blushed, thoroughly embarrassed that my sister would have caught me in my birthday suit.

“Oh, come on, Leo; I diapered you boys and I have been married twice. A penis doesn’t scare me. And I have seen some pretty scary stuff in the Corps. Now, finish up. Breakfast should be about ready when you get there. Just keep it quiet.”

I smiled and nodded, then padded down the hall to my old room and started to get clothes on. As I pulled up my boxer briefs a sudden thought hit me. If she diapered all four of us, then she had seen the weird freckle on my ass. That was a mortifying thought. Was she there when we were baptized and Raph pissed on Father Corelli?

I finished dressing and tried to use my ninja skills to surprise my big sister, but just as I stepped into the kitchen, she turned and handed me the silverware.

“Set the table,” she said as she turned to me. “Good try though, KaBong.”

I smiled at a childhood nickname, “Thanks, Lowe.” Then I grabbed her arm as she walked past me and pulled my tiny, little, big sister into a huge hug. I love Marlowe’s hugs. She is the only girl I have ever met who tries to get her arms all the way around my shell but generally settles for gripping on at least one of my coastal scutes.

“I’m glad you are home and safe, Sis,” I whispered against the top of her head. “I missed you.”

She chuckled and buried her face in my chest and said, “I missed you too, little brother.”

About that time, we heard the boys waking up.

Don’s POV

I padded out of my old lab and saw Leo standing in the kitchen. That in itself was terrifying. But, what set me on edge was knowing that he was hugging someone. As I walked closer to them, I caught sight of DCU pants and sock feet; human sock feet. However, the pants are what gave it away. I only knew of one person who would wear those. I jumped into a group hug that pinned my big sister between my older brother and me.

Hugging my sister, I kissed the top of her head and teared up a bit. The day I had prayed for had finally come. My sister was home.

Next, we heard the water come on in the bathroom. Then, Marlowe smiled softly and dislodged us from her person and went back to fixing breakfast. I knew then we were in for a treat. As much as I love Italian food, I LOVE my sister’s cooking.

Raph’s POV

I smelled homemade biscuits. That is what woke me up. I showered quickly, imagining the buttery goodness with what smelled like sausage gravy, eggs, and hash browns. Someone else had to be cooking, Mikey can’t make gravy to save his life. Meeting my baby bro at the bathroom door though, let me know it wasn’t him.

“Dude, do you smell that,” Mikey asked, his eyes wide.

“Yep, can’t be Leo.”

“No, Don banned him from helping. Could it be Donnie?”

“Nah, D would have turned it into research and burned it. So that leaves Dad,” I whispered.

Mikey shook his head, “No, Dad won’t make gravy and hash browns at the same time. Bro, let me pee and we will both go see.”

Mere minutes later, Mikey and I were silently padding through the old place on our way to the kitchen. Mikey stopped me suddenly and placed a finger over his mouth in the sign to hush, then wiggled his fingers by his ear slit.

We heard a woman’s voice, “Java’s ready, Donnie.”

But Don’s reply blew us away.

“Thanks, Lowe.”

Our eyes lit up! Our big sister was home! We were asses and elbows running for the kitchen. I turned the corner and there, in her sock feet and DCU pants with a tan colored A-shirt on, and buzz cut, black hair was Marlowe, my human big sister.

“Marlowe,” I somehow managed to choke out around the lump in my throat and the growing tightness in my chest. 

Marlowe’s POV

I had just taken the last of the hash browns out of the grease when something large hit me in the back. I turned to see my baby brother, Angel; a name only I was allowed to call him, hopping from one foot to the other with a look of intense joy on his face. He reminded me of a little boy who thought Christmas had come early.

I swear that kid grows an extra set of arms and legs every single time I come home, even if I’m just on leave. My news is gonna explode this one.

I heard my name, near sobbed from the doorway and saw Raph, fighting to keep his tough guy persona going. Don’t tell anyone, but it is close between him and Donnie as to who is my favorite. I know, I’m not supposed to have a favorite, but I do. In fact, I have two.

As I started toward my hot-headed little brother, his knees gave out.

Raph’s POV

My knees went weak and gave out as my big sister wrapped her arms around me.

I sobbed on her as she kissed my dome and whispered, “I’m home, Squeaks; for good this time.”

I looked up at her from where my arms were locked around her middle and my head was buried in her chest, “Really,” I whispered.

“Really, really,” she smiled as she wiped away the tears leaking out of my bronze eyes.

Suddenly, my brothers and dad all joined us in a ginormous group hug.

 Leo POV

When we all separated for breakfast, I asked, “So, when did you get in, Lowe?”

“04:00,” she answered. “I sparred with Pop until about 05:00. Showered; then came down to start breakfast. It is something that my squad loved, but I just couldn’t hack. These are called ‘Heralds’. They are a biscuit, two sausage patties, 2 fried eggs, hash browns, gravy, and cheese,” she said as she made one for Mikey and one for Raph. Don and I were cool without the gravy. Dad had his somewhat like ours, but with ketchup and his biscuit on the side. Lowe just had a biscuit.  

After breakfast, we all went to the dojo for training. I admit, I got a little jealous when she used a move I had never seen before to put Dad on his rear. I had never seen my father go down so fast or with such a huge smile on his face. A part of me worried that she would take over my spot as leader. As soon as she smiled at him, with a look of accomplishment on her face, that feeling faded slightly. I got to see a glimpse of the teenaged girl who beamed with accomplishment and pride at any praise.  I missed seeing her in my Marine sister.

As we left training, the timer on her watch went off. Marlowe excused herself to go take her meds. We didn’t think anything of it; if we had only known about the storm that was brewing.

A/N--Same version is on ffn

[themanicmagician]

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghosts - Swapbros Fluff

Summary: After watching a horror movie, Papyrus is too spooked to sleep.

Commission for @sapphire-sphinx​! Inspired by this artwork.

After a long, tough week of rigorous guard training, even someone as magnificent as Sans was ready to unwind. As the older brother, he was able to put his foot down and insist Papyrus spend the night with him instead of with Muffet and her patrons. Papyrus gave in easily, and the next week he even brought up another movie himself, one Undyne had lent him. And thus, Friday movie nights have become something of a tradition in their small household.

They rotate who picks the film every week. Sans favors classic action movies, himself, and keeps a pen and notepad on him to record any particularly inspiring speeches from the cinema heroes. Papyrus usually selects something from the tentacle-free variation of animes that Undyne recommends. Sans doesn’t understand what they both see in the cartoons, but his love for his brother translates to tolerance for his odd tastes.

Tonight is Sans’ turn to pick, and today he’s chosen a film he found on one of their latest trips to the dump. The plastic case has taken quite the beating, the cover picture faded; he can only make out the word “Blockbuster”. Must be a human chain store.

Despite the state of the box, the DVD inside is barely smudged. After a quick polish with his scarf, Sans feeds the disc into the player, then goes over to turn off the lights. The light shining in through the front window is growing dim; the simulated day cycle is winding down. They won’t be halfway through the movie before darkness falls, giving them a near-perfect cinema experience.

As the movie starts up, playing the opening credits, Sans takes a seat next to Papyrus on the couch. His brother is already cozy on his side of the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, hugging an enormous bowl of caramel corn.

“So what’s this film about, bro?” Papyrus asks.

“Not sure,” Sans leans over and snags a few pieces of caramel corn for himself. “The disc was blank, and the writing on the case was near-illegible.”

“Guess that makes it a suspense film then.”

The film is simply titled The Mansion at the End of the Street, frustratingly vague. However, the tone soon becomes clear, as a group of adolescent humans break into an abandoned mansion. A figure behind curtains on the second floor watches them enter. The curtains blow to the side, and the shadow vanishes.

“Uh, Sans.” He glances away from the screen to look over at his brother. “Don’t you want to watch something else? This movie’s pretty bad.”

Papyrus sounds nonchalant, but Sans notes that he’s gripping the popcorn bowl rather tightly. A devilish grin flits across Sans’ face, before it’s replaced with his normal smile.

“No, that’s part of the fun! Alphys says she and Undyne watch bad movies all the time on purpose. They’re so bad that they’re good. Unless…” Sans’ voice drops low. “You’re scared?”

Papyrus flinches, caught, but schools his expression quickly. “O-Of course not. Just thought you’d get bored.”

“Well I, for one, am certainly unafraid of any poltergeists. And aren’t you friends with a ghost?”

One of the teenagers searches a cob-web covered room. The ghost appears behind her, and lets out an unearthly shriek that causes Papyrus to yelp, jolting back against the couch. The knee-jerk motion causes some of the caramel corn to slosh out of the bowl, onto both Sans and the couch.

“Happy doesn’t look anything like that.” Papyrus says, weakly.

Stars, he’s really spooked by this silly thing. Sans supposes it’s not too surprising—as a child, his little brother would often run to his room in the night and crawl into his bed. Sans would wipe away the tears around his eye sockets as he babbled on about black and white smiling shadows in the closet. His wildly imaginative mind stokes the fire of his fear.

The ghost has disappeared again. The girl’s friends discover her limp body, crying out in alarm. Papyrus grabs a fistful of caramel corn, and shovels it in his mouth.

Sans nudges him with his foot after his third handful.

“Stop chewing so loudly. I can barely hear the movie!”

Papyrus swallows down his current mouthful. He stares down at the bowl so he can avoid looking at the screen.

“Why do they always split up?” Sans wonders, watching Papyrus out of the corner of his eye. He’s trying to take the edge off of Papyrus’ nerves by making casual conversation. “It’s tactically foolish. They’re weaker divided when going up against an unknown force. You could say that, separated, they don’t stand a ghost of a chance.”

That works—a small nyeh of laughter slips out of Papyrus.

The movie continues on in typical horror fashion. The humans are isolated and picked off one by one, all the while learning more and more about the woman’s story before she became a vengeful spirit. Sans, acclimated to months of sneak attacks from Alphys, barely flinches at each new jump scare. Papyrus, on the other hand, is the picturesque horror movie viewer, cringing away from the screen at every scream and sharp blare of music.

Papyrus lets out an audible sigh of relief as the movie ends. Sans is struck by the impish urge to startle him, but restrains himself.

“Well, that was certainly different!” Sans concludes, as he shuts off the television and DVD player, plunging them into near darkness.

Papyrus is quick to find his phone within the folds of his hoodie, and turns on its flashlight.

Taking pity on him, Sans tugs him up by his sleeve. “Come on, we’ll go upstairs together.”

Normally Papyrus would protest that he’s too old to be led around, but now he follows Sans obediently up the steps.

He jumps at a creaking noise, his bones shivering.

“D-Did you hear that?”

“Papy, that was your own foot. That step always creaks, remember?”

Papyrus looks down.

“Oh.”

It’s worse than Sans thought, if he’s still jumpy and paranoid after the film is over. Sans feels a flash of guilt—maybe he shouldn’t have made Papyrus watch such a thing.

Sans flicks the light on as they enter Papyrus’ room. His face scrunches up at the state of it. Their small dog is snoozing on the bare mattress. The floor is littered with stray articles of clothing, and far too many empty candy wrappers.

“Ugh, Papy.”

His brother shrugs, unrepentant.

The ball of sheets in wedged against the bed’s headboard is too sticky with spilt honey and syrups, so Sans fetches a clean set from the linen closet in the hallway.

Papyrus eyes him as he lifts the dog off the bed before putting on the clean sheets. “You, uh, don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”

“Oh hush.” Sans tucks the final sheet corner beneath the mattress. “Clearly you are shaken up, but don’t worry! The Magnificent Sans will protect you from any ghost, imagined or otherwise.”

Papyrus’ skull flushes with embarrassment. It’s clear he’s ashamed of his fear, but Sans intends to show him that it’s okay to be afraid.

Sans goes over to Papyrus’ closet. While most of his day clothes cover the floor, he still has a set of pajamas hung up. Sans tugs them off the hangar and throws them back over to Papyrus. He returns back to the closet, searching. In addition to his clothes, there are some old boxes packed away in here, mementoes of childhood.

“What’re you looking for?” Papyrus asks, once he’s changed into a loose tank top and shorts. “’Cause the only skeleton in my closet right now is you.”

“You’ll see.” Sans shoos him back over to the bed.

After a moment more, he finds what he was looking for. The first, a nightlight in the shape of a car, which he plugs in to a nearby wall socket. It casts a pleasant orange glow over the room.

He returns to Papyrus with his second prize, pulling up a chair at his bedside. Papyrus is curled under one layer of blankets, and the dog has deigned to snuggle up to his side.

“A storybook?” Papyrus asks, incredulous.

“You loved Fluffy Bunny when you were a kid.” Sans pouts.

“Yeah, exactly, as a kid.”

“Come on, Papy,” Sans cajoles him, opening up the book to the first page. “This always put you right to sleep before. So it’s either this, or you’ll stay up all night thinking about that ghost.”

“…Fine.” Papyrus mutters, giving in.

“Great!” Sans chirps. “Now let’s get started…”

He hasn’t read Papyrus this story in years, but as he reads aloud he slips seamlessly back into the old routine, giving the animals different voices as they appear and search for their missing fluffy friend. Papyrus is humoring him at first, but Sans is only halfway through the story when his eye lights become foggy with sleep. Two page turns later, Papyrus is snoring lightly along with the dog.

Sans smiles fondly. Still works like a charm. He concludes the story softly, before setting the book to the side. Papyrus looks content; he’s not being accosted by ghosts in his dreams.

Sans tugs the covers up some around his brother, before planting a quick skeleton kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, Papy.”