#like the motivation behind every act of their master is either gain power or making em suffer

[killerpancakeburger]

Astarion trying to rally his siblings: Don't we deserve better?

Also Astarion literally 2 seconds later: Make me your new master.

Me: We don’t have the same definition of "better".

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Chapter Two: The Hurricane’s Eye" in the Shadow Lords Tribebook from "Werewolf: The Apocalypse" Part Two of Two

Some of it is true, but most is not.

The details vary from place to place, but any you hear which are “true” most likely are not.

Be aware that the invitation itself is a great honor, and conduct yourself accordingly.

Renown is not important, and neither is rank.

Only ideas count, along with the will to act on them when need be.

While most of us are aware of that purpose to a greater or lesser extent, the hard truth of the matter is that we are more interested in our personal agendas than we are in any

higher goal.

All of us lust for power, but most have forgotten the reasons why we pursue such ends, and why the ends we seek most certainly justify any means we might employ to achieve them.

All pursue the path to power in different fashions.

Competition makes us stronger, and divergent philosophies yield opportunities missed by other, simpler credos.

They are not interested in personal power for its own sake, nor in leadership of any sort.

They are more than willing to debase themselves for the sake of others, and their actions free many of us to bring other, more potent schemes to fruition.

Though they will not (usually) use this information for personal gain, they have no compunctions against destroying an unfit leader so that others might take his place.

They are pitiless and remorseless, and cloaked in an aura of mystery that only adds to their fearsome reputations.

They have eyes everywhere, and they are watching.

The lure of power intoxicates them, and they will do anything in their power to bring it within their grasp.

Power is the end for them, not merely a means to an end, and as such dominance and control are their meat and drink.

Few of its members come to healthy ends.

Pity so few of them make good on their rhetoric.

Circles within circles. It’s how we work.

They are, for the most part, fairly deluded individuals, pretending they are responsible for the sins of their forefathers and letting their sense of guilt guide their actions in the here and now.

It should be obvious that the time has come to put the past behind us and move forward, even as we learn from our mistakes to tread more carefully in the future.

But these fools wallow in the pain they feel they’ve caused, and hope to undo it and make things right again.

What they fail to understand is that, even if they’re successful, it won’t help us in the here and now – at best it will appease the souls of the dead, and we don’t have time for that now.

Their hearts might be noble, but their intentions are misplaced, and that might cost us dearly when all is said and done.

From time to time we hear that someone or other has started practicing those dark rituals once again, but none of these reports ever proves to be substantial.

None are immune to this, no matter their station.

They’re a by-product, the proof that we’ve fouled things up, nothing more.

Any fighting force needs strategists as well as warriors to be effective, and you must always remember fall into the former camp.

If you are foolish, however, you will only be consumed by your own ambition. Tread carefully.

You should always remember that it is only overt displays of aggression which are typically frowned upon.

It is mostly a matter of courtesy and ceremony, which means observing it is no great bother.

Accepting an honorable surrender leaves your opponent beholden to you, which gives you a tremendous advantage over that individual and all that are allied with him.

An opponent who surrenders in this instance is either attempting to trick you, or not very honorable to begin with.

Always bow to your betters, but do not let them cow you into submission unless they truly are your betters.

Humans have always feared us, and with the advent of an industrialized civilization they now have the tools to turn that fear into hatred and persecution.

If a warrior, to say nothing of a leader, is not fit to pull his own weight within a sept, then he is not fit to live.

Even an old and frail leader can prove to be surprisingly fit in mind and spirit, and if he is capable of performing his duties you damn well better mind your business and leave him be.

Our leaders must be continually tested to keep them in fighting trim, and that means making power plays when you can get away with it.

Don’t be a fucking asshole.

This isn’t about you, you little shit.

We’re fighting for a cause, and that comes first.

Stay on target, get your tasks done, and deal with any problems in leadership only after your immediate task is completed.

Violate this law, and you will not merely be punished. You will die. Painfully.

In many ways, it seems as though we have passed a turning point.

He’s going to change the world, if he has to kill every man, woman and child on Earth to do it.

You can make these people do just about anything, provided you can make it a point of honor for them to go along with your plans.

Do your homework before coming here, though, because you’ll be skinned alive if you don’t.

We have no business being there, and it has little to offer us in any event.

The ruthless politicking would be worth the trouble if the opponents were worth our time.

I wouldn’t say they’re making nice with us, but their kind and ours are becoming more and more interdependent, and that means the opportunities here are staggering.

We all have the same goal, and that means there are many opportunities for personal glory and consolidation of power if one plays his cards right.

This place is a gold mine, so don’t ignore it.

They are, of course, social outcasts, but that only enhances their utility in many respects. They see all that happens around them, and no one notices them as they scurry about their business. They are so eager to please, and so willing to talk to people who take the time to notice them and treat them like human beings — or even simple dogs. Call them mongrels if you will, but do not discount the wisdom they have to offer.

You should not ignore them, but do not expect much from them, either.

Some of them fancy themselves canny politicians, but this is a delusion. Be sure to indulge them, however, as they do not take insults lightly.

That makes them available, gullible, and effective, three fine traits in any tool.

Just be sure to cover your tracks whenever you make them suffer — they do not take kindly to being manipulated, and they have a longer reach than you might think.

You can manipulate them, if you approach them with care.

You must continue to humor them, of course, but they are no longer your masters.

Valuable allies, if you ask me.

They are stupid and hateful, and do not act on their convictions. I do not even think they have convictions.

We’re better off without them.

Bah! I don’t care how useful the little beasts are!

And do I need to reinforce the importance of dealing through intermediaries? I thought not.

We need no more enemies, particularly those that can rise from the dead.

They are wondrous sources of information, and ultimately disposable. They are ideal tools.

I say they’re vermin, and deserve to be stepped on accordingly.

They are of no concern to you.

While this may not seem like a critical project, it nonetheless deserves our attention.

Most of the others are both dangerous and more numerous than we are, so you must exercise extreme caution when dealing with them.

Do not assume they think like you do, or that they are motivated by the same sorts of goals.

These are alien beings, and you must treat them accordingly.

This disgusts me.

You don’t want to make them angry, but if you can get one in your pocket they can prove to be a terrific ace up your sleeve.

Your humanity is showing.

These beings hold secrets, and secrets hold power.

It is typically not our way to truck with the dead, but they are a resource, which is easily exploited if you know what they seek, and how to get it.

I’ve encountered ghosts in a number of places, typically sites of horrific acts or great battles.

Their time is gone, it seems.

It is a sad thing, I suppose, but they are ultimately of no consequence to us.

I’ve never understood why it is they’re here to begin with.

Unfortunately for them, they are clumsy, disorganized, and more often than not incompetent.

They have no real community to speak of, no formal training to fall back on, and no coherent agenda.

This makes them fantastic tools, since they never know what to expect from us and are just looking for targets which often coincide with our own.

So, a little push here, a little nudge there, and they do our work for us, all without us dirtying our hands or wasting other, more valuable resources on the job.

Great opportunities, there, so long as we can keep their attention far away from us.

They are uninformed, disorganized, misguided, and utterly ineffectual without aid from other sources.

This makes them fine pawns, I suppose, but don’t count on them for too much.

[gil-notskajla]

"Xerath's past from childhood to imprisonment" headcannon (including some of the cool ideas form @fattyaly ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) let's go:

• Xerath had many scars from corporal punishments and brutal indelicacy of previous owners.

• Xerath's human height was below avarge - undernourishment durring his service as a lesser slave disrupted his childhood development. When Azir took him in, his diet became more proper but the damage was already done.

• Xerath was quite lonely, durring his service to royal family. When he was a normal slave, he had his mother, father (when he was still alive) and other slaves. Everyone worked together and supported each other in the darkest hours. When Azir made him his personal slave, his living conditions improved greatly but his unusualy close bond with a royal elevated him in the eyes of fellow slaves who didnt know how to treat him anymore - as one of their own, or as someone above them, not to mention the jealousy, while for free citizens and nobility he was still a mere slave and nothing more.

• He had other slaves working under him as for example his bodyguards, who he cared for and did everything he could to improve their living conditions, since he experienced the same life when he was younger. They were also an additional motivation for his plans of slavery abolishment.

• Xerath and other slaves serving the royal court members created an information net and that's how he knew the gossips better than Azir.

• That's how he learned that Azirs father truthy despises his last alive son - Emperor didnt keep his tongue behind the teeth around slaves who served him. Mistake.

• Xerath knew that Azir was really close with his mother. That's why he tried his best to make her infertile, soo that killing her wouldnt be nessesary. He failed and knew that Azir's assasination from that point on was just a matter of time. He chose his and Azir's lives over rest of royal family.

• Xerath risked his relationship with Azir constantly to make him realise that slaves are people with feelings and needs too. Azir took quite long to finally acknowledge that but even smallest progress in that matter made Xerath proud of him.

• Xerath probably didn't appreciate Azir sleeping with slave girls. After all they couldn't say know, but he couldn't stop Azir from doing this...

• Azir provided him with a great autonomy, mostly for executing his will, which sometimes gave Xerath seemingly greater power than some noble houses what annoyed literally everyone.

• Xerath's parents were his teachers and only people who he would ever call his family besides Azir. They planted the concept of freedom in his mind which stayed with him forever. Mental image of his parents, their unconditional love has been inseparably tied to concept of freedom. That turned family and freedom into highest values for him.

• That's also why Xerath turned 180° soo rapidly when Azir "officially abadoned" the freedom project. Azir was the only family ever since Xerath lost contact with his mother. By remminding Xerath that he is indeed, just a slave and not in fact his brother, he violated not only one but two of Xeraths highest values - freedom and familial bond.

• At first Xerath was a bit jealous of Azir's wife but knowing he could never compete with her for Azir's attention and conflict would mean Azir getting annoyed with him, they ended up on good terms. By this i mean of course ideal benelovent, kind master/docile, friendly slave relationship. After Azir "betrayed" Xerath, Xerath acted the same way towards her to not arouse suspicion but since he no longer believed Azir to be his brother, he no longer thought of her as his potential future family. (Azir's oldest official son was around 18 (close to adulthood) when  the cataclysm happened soo he had to be married for at least 18 years, probably he got married before his final refusal to Xerath. Also, that would make them at least 36 years old at the time of Ascension.)

• Same for Azir's first son. At first he was happy for Azir, that his step-brother has a child, but after the fight, he didnt care anymore. Every next child just remminded him how priviledged they are, how horrible his childhood was and how many children are still being born to slavery while they lead idyllic and ignorant lives.

• Xerath wanted to steal the empire and impersonate Azir after Ascension in which he would make it look like he himself died.

• Xerath had access to Azir's Ascension ritual preperations. He gained as much information as he could about the mechanism of ascending and adjusted it to himself in order to gain as much power as possible in case his role-swap-by-assasination didnt work, he couldnt impersonate azir and had to actually force everyone to obey him despite his true identity (that would explain why his plan was "in motion" and why he "couldnt back down no matter how much part of him wanted to").

• After Azir fullfiled his promise Xerath knew that Baccai are a thing (it was probably common knowledge soo, duh) and was afraid that his personal adjustments would cripple Azir what would bring dishonor on him in the best case scenario and get him detronised/banished hopefully together with his family, court and Xerath, or kill him in the worst. If Azir died, his life would be over as well, since he made many enemies and Azir was the only person keeping him on the top - in position from which he could do anything. Without Azir, Xerath was nobody. And he couldn't tell Azir that he spiked his Ascension ritual and risk his rage. In this situation he could only utter "I'm sorry." and proceed with his plan wondering why Azir didnt tell him and carrying the confusion, guilt and anger for the rest of his life.

• By impulsively blasting Azir of daasis, Xerath made it very clear that he is sabotaging the ritual. That probably caused him to panic that Sun Priests will stop the ritual what would cause him to become either weak and crippled Baccai, die or just allow the soldiers to capture and execute him. With his magic he forced Priests to continue, desperately, for as long as he could. In fear of consequences and unaware of his surroundings he prolonged the ritual what drained the Disc, caused the shockwave, initiated the cataclysm, disintegrated his ascending body and turned him into unique, unstable, energetic being.

• Ascension ended with stasis in which he got lowered back to the ground, barely concious. Nasus and Renekton were already waiting for him with sarcophagus, ready to catch him. That explains why he didn't manage to react and got captured soo easily.

• In the tomb, Xerath and Renekton fought for days but when Renekton realised he is unable to kill Xerath and Xerath not really caring if Renekton dies or not, they found themselves their own corners where they sat alone with their demons, sometimes talking to each other when in desperate need of social interaction.

• Xerath is indeed the most powerfull Ascended in terms of raw power but his body is very unstable. He can literally kill himself by destabilisation from using too much of his magic.

• Soo many horrible things happened on the day of Ascension, that if he addmited that he was the one responsible for death of thousands, not only randoms and Azir but probably also many aquaintances of even friendsp, he would go complitely mad. He told himself the entire story over and over and over again, twisting it bit by bit every time to justify his actions and why all this bloodshed was nessesary in order to fool himself and subconciously protect his mind from insanity by blaming everything on Azir and his bloodline.

• He repressed the fact that he is a Baccai. He stays in denial soo that he wont have to acknowledge that despite all that hard work, he failed everyone, even himself and became fragile like glass. He stays in denial deluding himself that there is nothing wrong with him and hiding it from himself by prising his "flawless" ascended form, hoping that the problem will cease existing if he forgets about it.

• Xerath and Renekton probably learned how to fall into some form of stasis in order to loose conciousness and skip time because, as fucked up as they are, they are in really good shape as for people who have spent 36,000 times longer period of time than avarge recommended dose of isolation causing irreversible mental damage irl. (i think that riot kind of forgotten about them when making the timeline and now stasis is the only logical explanation for how well preserved their minds are.)

[woolishlygrim]

So here’s a thing that has probably been done before but also maybe been done worse: The timeline of Bloodborne.

Like … more or less any Soulsborne game, tbh … Bloodborne is remarkably laconic with its storytelling, leaving a lot of gaps but, more importantly, leaving a lot of stuff that isn’t directly stated but which can be reasoned out if you kind of take a step back from looking at things in terms of a set of facts to be fitted together, and instead look at things in terms of a set of causes and effects, if that makes sense. It’s not thing happens, thing happens, thing happens, it’s thing happens, and since we know who does that thing and what motivates them later on, we can reason out how that thing would then lead on to another thing.

...

Anyway. Timeline.

Massive trigger warning for … hoo boy. References to violence, references to stillbirth and dead infants, references to sexual assault, and references to suicide. Jfc, Bloodborne.

-- So, at some point in the distant, distant past, almost prehistoric, the Isz Civilisation (likely the city of Isz) flourishes in a particular coastal spot on a northern archipelago. The Isz aren’t originally from this place, they hail from somewhere else: Rather, they choose this site for their new city because it is a place within the waking, physical world that passes uncommonly close to the world of dreams.

-- In time, the people of Isz (or at least some of its people) cease to be human, or at least humanoid. We know that they were humanoid at some point, because the Isz labyrinths are laid out for humanoid creatures, but at some point they ascend, and this is likely a deliberate choice on their parts.

-- The mechanism of their change isn’t explicitly spelled out, but since we see in-game one example of a human ascending in a similar fashion, and a great many failed attempts to ascend, we can kind of tease out a rough idea of how it works, namely that it involves gaining more insight into the eldritch truth, and mutations of the blood. Either way, they become the Great Ones, godlike beings who are wholly alien but nonetheless kind and sympathetic in spirit. Every Great One is unique: While they are a species, they are a species that shares no commonalities, with every individual functionally its own species.

-- At some point, the Great Ones ascend in a different way: Their bodies enter an eternal sleep, while their spirits ascend to the dream and nightmare realms. One of them, Ebrietas, is left behind. While it’s never made clear why, the references to her as ‘abandoned’ and ‘left behind’ imply that she didn’t choose to stay behind.

-- Now absent of people, Isz falls to ruin. In time, however, a new civilisation is built on the wreckage: The city of Loran. A desert city despite the coastal location of Isz, we know little about Loran, only that at some point they found the slumbering bodies of the Great Ones (perhaps guided by Ebrietas, as others would be later). They take blood from the Great Ones, blood which can be used to strengthen a person, or heal any injury or sickness.

-- In time, the Beast Plague strikes Loran. At certain times, as the Great Ones brush close to the waking world, those who have imbibed too much of their blood are transformed into monstrous beasts. This is the first time the Beast Plague appears, but it’s not really a plague, not in the truest sense. As we see later on, the more insight into the eldritch truth one has, the more complex, strange, and alien a person’s beastly transformation is, the more they keep their mind in the process, or may even find themselves elevated: Because the Beast Plague isn’t a disease, it’s a mutation. It’s the act of ascending, spurred on by the blood of the Great Ones, to a new form, falling far short of being a Great One but nevertheless becoming something more than human.

-- Nevertheless, Loran falls. In time, the Beast Plague overtakes it, and only monsters remain. The city is swallowed by the sands, and the region goes dormant once again.

-- In time, though, the Pthumerians happen across the same site. It seems likely that the Pthumerians were human, or at the very least human-like, at one point, but they don’t remain that way for long. Anyway, on the ruins of Loran which is in turn upon the ruins of Isz, the city of Pthumeria Ihyll is built.

-- The Pthumerians are wiser than the people of Loran, in a way, or at least more curious. While the people of Loran careless imbibed the blood of the Great Ones, the Pthumerians study, becoming more knowledgeable of the eldritch truth (most likely, once again, under the guidance of Ebrietas). Eventually, they make contact with the Great Ones, and form a kind of friendship with them.

-- An alliance is born. The Great Ones guide the Pthumerians, elevating their civilisation and helping them achieve inhuman forms, less than a Great One but greater than a human, and still keeping their minds. In return, the Pthumerians guard the tombs of the Great Ones, where their bodies slumber. The Pthumerians do seem to eventually partake of the Great Ones’ blood as part of their semi-ascension, but they do not appear to suffer from the Beast Plague (at first), and they seemingly gain a kind of immortality.

-- At some point, a great queen of Pthumeria Ihyll, Queen Yharnam, enters into a marriage with Oedon, a Great One who lacks any kind of physical form (and, it’s worth noting, the only male Great One we ever hear about). The two of them conceive a child together, Mergo. This, we are told, is a preoccupation of the Great Ones, and perhaps not the first time it happens, for each Great One longs for a child, each Great One searches for a surrogate to bear it, but each Great One finds their child stillborn.

-- Mergo, the daughter of Oedon and Yharnam, is no different, born already dead, but there are signs that something truly horrible happened to Yharnam. Her lingering spirit can be seen handcuffed, her body apparently cut open to remove Mergo. Whatever the Pthumerians did at the moment of Mergo’s birth, it was traumatic and violent, and Yharnam does not seem to be a willing participant.

-- Nevertheless, Mergo is stillborn, as all infant Great Ones are. While dead, Mergo is still a god, however, and even a dead god exerts its will upon the world around it. A Pthumerian woman is, through the power of the Great Ones, elevated to a higher form (not, it would seem, a Great One, but something startlingly close), and becomes Mergo’s wet nurse and protector. A nightmare is created to cradle Mergo.

-- After this, Pthumeria Ihyll falls. It’s not entirely clear why, save that eventually they, like Loran, found themselves suffering from the Beast Plague, which consumed their civilisation much as it had Loran. It is speculated in passing that the Great Ones, in spite of their sympathetic and kind nature, may have severed their alliance with Pthumeria Ihyll, withdrawing their support.

-- Time passes. Eventually, humans of the College of Byrgenwerth attempt expeditions into the ruins of Pthumeria Ihyll, and in time a city, named Yharnam for the Pthumerian queen, springs up atop the ruins of Pthumeria Ihyll (which is built upon Loran, which is built upon Isz). Byrgenwerth, led by Master Willem, is primarily interested in learning to perceive more of the eldritch truth, to elevate their minds.

-- However, Laurence, a student of Master Willem, discovers the slumbering Great Ones, and the properties of their blood. While Willem abhors the idea of using the blood, Laurence is fascinated by the idea that they might achieve ascension a far quicker way. He splits from Byrgenwerth, taking several scholars with him, and forms the Healing Church, distributing the blood as a miracle cure.

-- Laurence found allies in this endeavour, of a sort. Micolash, another former student of Byrgenwerth, created the School of Mensis within the Healing Church, devoted to making contact with Mergo. Another scholar, whose name is unknown but who would later take the name Iosefka, establishes the Choir, a section of the Church which, under the guidance of Ebrietas, would endeavour to study ascension without the use of blood. Another student, Gehrman, meanwhile, would keep his distance from the Church -- but when the Beast Plague struck, as it struck every civilisation that abused the Great Ones’ blood, he became the first Hunter, and established the Hunter’s Workshop.

-- At some point, the noble house of Cainhurst take up residence near Yharnam. Their relationship with the Yharnamites is fraught, to say the least, and they covet the Great Ones’ blood.

-- Gehrman takes several early apprentices: Maria, a scion of the Cainhursts; Izzy, a scientist who is fascinated by the beasts; the Crow of Cainhurst, who styles himself as a hunter-of-hunters; Eileen, a woman who would also, in time, come to style herself as a hunter of hunters; Djura, who is dreadfully kind and terribly foolish; and Ludwig, a cleric of the Healing Church who was possessed of an ancient, magical sword, possibly even a relic of Isz, which was both weapon and mentor to him.

-- For all of the Hunter’s Workshop’s goals in containing the Beast Plague, they rapidly find themselves unable to contain it, and their organisation spirals into chaos. Ludwig breaks away from the Workshop to form the Church hunters, recruiting mobs of regular townspeople, but also empowering the Church to form a secret police of sort, a cadre of hunters who were permitted to hide among the populace and strike with impunity if they believed they saw the signs of plague. Maria, for reasons unknown, steals a sample of the Great Ones’ blood and delivers it to the Cainhursts. Their own experiments yield the Vilebloods, an ‘impure’ breed of humanity led by the immortal Queen Annalise, who sets about feeding on the blood of hunters in the hopes that doing so will let her conceive a ‘child of the blood’ with Oedon. The Crow, afflicted by the beast blood, goes mad. Eileen and Djura, both disillusioned with Gehrman, begin to drift away from the Workshop, with Djura gathering his own band of hunters. While Izzy’s fate is unclear, we know that they were a threat to the Church, and were most likely killed.

-- A war breaks out between the Cainhurst Vilebloods and the Executioners, a fanatical sect of the Church committed to wiping them out. The war ends when Logarius, leader of the Executioners and seemingly a man of Pthumerian extraction, dons a crown of illusion and separates Castle Cainhurst from Yharnam. Unable to die by natural means, likely owing to his Pthumerian blood, Logarius begins an endless vigil.

-- At some point, Gehrman and the College of Byrgenwerth discover a fishing hamlet in a symbiotic relationship with Kos, a Great One. In the name of learning more about how to reach the eldritch truth, the Byrgenwerth scholars visit horrifying experiments on the people of the hamlet, cutting them open and carving open their skulls to examine their brains, seemingly while they still lived.

-- Gehrman, facing a losing war against the Beast Plague, and with most of his apprentices and allies having abandoned him in one form or another, does something worse. While it isn’t entirely clear how he does it, since Kos’ physical shape is a gigantic nudiform, he seemingly manages to impregnate Kos in what appears to be an attempt to create an undying, perfect hunter, equipped to kill both beasts and Great Ones.

-- Kos perishes and washes up on the shore of the hamlet. From her dead body emerges the Sweet Child of Kos, the son of Kos and Gehrman. He is ‘wizened’ upon birth, and either born dead or dies of old age shortly thereafter.

-- Responding to the wishes of the people of the hamlet, though, the Sweet Child of Kos, dead but, like Mergo, still able to wield the power of a god, creates a nightmare realm, the Hunter’s Nightmare, and curses every hunter: When they die or lose their minds, they drift into the Hunter’s Nightmare, there to engage in an endless, maddening hunt.

-- The fishing hamlet is destroyed, whether by Byrgenwerth or, perhaps, by simply being transported wholesale into the Hunter’s Nightmare. In disgust at Byrgenwerth and Gehrman, Maria casts her blade, Rakuyo, into a well. She later dies, although it’s unclear exactly how -- but the available evidence points to suicide.

-- In Yharnam, confidence in the Church begins to fail, driven not least by the fact that clerics of the Church, who have more knowledge of the eldritch truth, become the most powerful and most vicious beasts.

-- The situation in Yharnam goes from bad to worse. Perhaps seeking to re-establish the authority of the Healing Church after confidence in the healing blood has been eroded by the Beast Plague, Laurence and the Church poison the water supply of Old Yharnam, and then approach the people of the district with the offer of the blood as a cure. The result is an outbreak of the Beast Plague unlike anything ever seen before. Desperate, the Church and Gehrman seal off Old Yharnam and send in Djura and his Powder-Keg Hunters to burn it and everyone in it.

-- On the same night, Ludwig succumbs to the Beast Plague, transforming into a horrible beast as his mind is shunted into the Hunter’s Nightmare. He is killed, but without his guidance, the Church Hunters fracture, with some of them being absorbed by the Choir and the rest of them becoming little more than a roaming mob.

-- Laurence succumbs to the plague not long after. While his mind takes the form of an ever-burning Cleric Beast within the Hunter’s Nightmare, his body becomes the Bloodletting Beast. While it is decapitated in a battle against Brador, a Church Hunter in the employ of the Choir, it survives this decapitation and flees into the remains of Pthumeria Ihyll. It is never caught.

-- With Yharnam in chaos, and his first plan to create an undying hunter a failure, Gehrman uses the Sweet Child of Kos’ umbilical cord to summon a Great One. The Great Ones are sympathetic in spirit, and so his pleas are answered by Flora, the Moon Presence. The Moon Presence creates for Gehrman the Hunter’s Dream, a dream-realm version of the Workshop. Hunters who are drawn into the Hunter’s Dream can venture out into the waking world as dreams, ensuring that no matter how many times they die, they can always return. But the Moon Presence also imprisons Gehrman in the Dream, to act as its guardian and to guide new hunters.

-- Several hunters are brought into the Dream and allowed to hunt without fear of death. Djura is one, and Eileen is another. Eventually, Gehrman frees each of them from the Dream, an act which also cuts off their ability to dream altogether (and perhaps saves them from the Hunter’s Dream).

-- At Byrgenwerth, a woman chooses to ascend to the very brink of being a Great One, but the imperfect process destroys her mind. The resulting being, Rom the Vacuous Spider, dwells beneath the Byrgenwerth lake, using its powers to shield Yharnam from the encroachment of the Great Ones’ dream realms, and obscure the truth. 

-- Djura’s nephew is struck by a terrible illness, most likely the Beast Plague, but seems to recover from it as something uncannily similar to a Great One. Djura has him smuggled out of Yharnam. His spirit broken by his long career as a hunter, the events with his nephew, and the razing of Old Yharnam, Djura retreats to the ruins of Old Yharnam, there to protect the beasts still living in it.

-- At some point, the School of Mensis succeeds in achieving an audience with Mergo. In doing so, they kick off a resurgence of the Beast Plague. The Player Character, drawn to Yharnam to ‘seek paleblood,’ is drawn into the Hunter’s Dream, as Gehrman’s latest hunter, tasked with finding and killing (or ‘killing’ as the case may be) the infant Mergo.

-- The Player Character kills Rom, removing the last line of defense against Mergo’s influence. The Beast Plague erupts into an even more cataclysmic form. Without Rom to shield Yharnam, Oedon impregnates two women -- the fake Iosefka, who had been attempting to conceive a child with him, and Arianna, a descendant of Annalise who, it would seem, was impregnated with the child Annalise had wished for, as Oedon, being formless and alien, cannot distinguish the difference between them. Neither woman survives the birth, and their children are born dead.

-- The Player Character eventually finds their way to the Nightmare of Mensis, the nightmare realm made to cradle Mergo. Killing Micolash, they proceed onwards to eventually kill Mergo’s Wet Nurse. Without her nurse to nurture her, the dead Mergo finally passes from the world, her long suffering finished. Queen Yharnam bows to the Player Character in thanks, then departs as well.

-- Returning to the Hunter’s Dream, the Player Character confronts and kills Gehrman. The Moon Presence descends, and the Player Character, now grasping almost the entirety of the eldritch truth, and having consumed a massive amount of blood (along with the umbilical cords of four Great Ones -- Mergo’s, the Sweet Child of Kos, Arianna’s child, and Iosefka’s child) battles and defeats it. Consuming it, the Player Character abandons their form as a human and is reborn as an infant Great One -- the first, and only, infant Great One to be born alive.

-- While much of Yharnam is destroyed, there are survivors. Perhaps better for them, there is now a Great One who may yet understand humanity, cradled in the Hunter’s Dream, and when it is grown it will guide humanity towards ascension.

[prongsisabadger]

Songs for the Heartbroken: That’s What You Get

AO3

ff.net

Chapter 1.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Itachi-san". I said in the clearest voice I could manage at four.

Granted that meeting the heir to the Uchiha leadership was nerve racking, what with every eye in the room watching, but I for one felt quite proud of myself for not screwing up. Itachi on the other hand, did not look impressed in the least; in fact he seemed to not care whether I was there or not. I rose from my greeting and faced him, summoning the brightest smile in my repertoire and hoping it would make a better impression on him. It could have, but if I am completely honest, I have no idea if it did.

His expression did not change, and his expression, though not hostile, was not of an inviting nature either. We looked very much alike; the Uchiha's black eyes and raven hair, and the fierce but delicate factions were present in us both. Anyone unfamiliar with our clan would have thought us siblings instead of far removed cousins.

"The pleasure is mine, Akane-san. Shisui-senpai would not stop talking about your taijutsu skills. It is an honor to finally meet the person behind that praise."

The bow that followed was even deeper than mine, and his overly formal speech and compliments had me blushing like the four year old I was. Not because of the compliment itself, but because it was a four year old like myself who had spoken like that. I was suddenly aware of how far behind him I was, not only skill wise, but also when it came to education and manners. I felt inferior, ignorant, and I did not like it one bit. Shisui must have seen this, because when I failed to answer, he squeezed my shoulder.

"I am no master, Itachi-san. But I will continue to train to make sure, one day I am worthy of that praise".

The need to catch up with him grew with every second, If the heir of the Uchiha out of all clans, was humble enough to compliment others, in spite of his prodigy status, then the least I could do was live up to it. I would call it a friendly rivalry, a motivation of sorts that would help me improve marginally, even if surpassing Itachi was out of the question. I would make my brother and my clan proud; even if it meant constantly comparing myself to genius and being thoroughly disappointed every time, I would still do it.

Itachi didn't seem to be moved by my response and just nodded politely before moving o to speak with other members of the clan. His birthday had been too big an event for his low profile personality, but apparently there were things you couldn't escape when your father was the head of the Uchiha.

Their living room was packed with clan members and some of the Konoha aristocracy. Clan heads from the main families in the village, dignitaries and even civilian authorities had come; not to celebrate Itachi though, no. They had all come seeking an alliance with one of the founding clans of the village. They either wanted to do business, politics or marry a member of their clan into the Uchiha to create alliances among clans. More than once, Shisui had to intervene when someone had mistaken me for a career bride. My brother could sweet talk a country into going to war if he wanted to I swear, and it was that ability of his that prevented any of the guests from being offended by the rejection. I am a hundred percent sure I would have caused more than one inter clan incident had the situation been left in my care.

"You do not seem to be enjoying yourself". I turned to find the birthday boy trying to avoid attention in a dark corner behind me. he wasn't outright hiding, but he wasn't trying to interact with his guests either.

"I believe I could be making myself more useful in a training ground, these people have no interest in me once they realize I am not for sale, and neither do you." Formal talk had always been a hassle to me, it was only part of an act, a mannerism used to fake respect when talking to people who hadn't earned it.

Itachi seemed to notice my aversion to crowds right away, but made no comment on it; probably out of consideration.

"That would make two of us, believe me, Akane-san, when I say these people are not here to see me either."

He was scanning the room from his spot in the corner, and I felt the urge to do the same. No one was paying attention to us, the high society of Konohagakure no Sato was much too concerned with politics and making alliances to notice two kids standing quietly in a corner.

"How would you like to come to one of the training grounds with me, Itachi-san? I feel like our time could be used in better ways than this, and I do not think we will be missed here either."

My brother had disappeared, probably gone home; and the party was quite sober and kind of boring. As expected from a clan head actually. This was not a celebration for Itachi, it was an opportunity for his parents to do politics.

"I would very much like that. But will you not be uncomfortable wearing a kimono, Akane-san?" Said the boy as he guided me out of the living room, and into one of the many hallways of the Uchiha household.

I stood there as Itachi went into his room to get his gear, since it would be improper to be found together in his room. Not that we could do anything remotely sexual at the age of four, but clan people could be extremely conservative like that. In fact, if we were to be seen together too often or for extended periods of time, it was most likely for a marriage contract to be put in place.

"I will be fine, Itachi-san. My brother makes me train in a kimono from time to time to get me used to it. He says that if I were to be attacked, the enemy would not wait for me to change clothes."

We made our way to the back door and out the veranda. We managed to slip by unnoticed by some guests that were smoking in the back yard, and with an ease that seemed almost funny, escaped the crowd gathered in the Uchiha main house. The compound was as lively as ever, the main street still buzzing with the energy of business and the eventual visit from non-Uchiha customers. A few congratulated Itachi on his birthday, mostly tea house owners and dango stools shopkeepers; who also made promises of free food and sweets as a present on that special ocation. Thankfully we made it to the compound's training grounds without attracting too much attention to ourselves.

"Would you rather we practice chakra control, taijutsu or target practice, Akane-san?" His voice pulled me back from my daydreaming. I had been wondering how long would it take for somebody to come looking for us. I for one had only Shisui to worry about, but Itachi had the entire clan to think of; so either someone would come looking within the first half hour or not at all.

"My taijutsu and weapon handling skills are competent; my chakra control on the other hand, is mediocre at best." I answered turning to him.

I wasn't ashamed of my shortcomings, I simply wanted to work hard and stop them from becoming a liability. Even at the tender age of four, two mindsets had been drilled into me: my brother's hard working nature, and the clan's idea of self improvement and greed for power. I had no intention to do anything rash or radical with the power I gained, mind you, but my pride would not allow me to become anything but exceptional.

"I could help you with that if you want to; chakra control is one of my strengths. I have even started working on genjutsu."

Of course he had started practicing his genjutsu already; his status as a prodigy was well founded. He, at four, had the chakra control of a genin twice his age. I nodded once and sat cross legged on the training ground floor, motioning him to do the same.

"I have been attempting to do the leaf exercise, but for some reason I can't maintain it for more than a couple of seconds." I explained, taking a leaf from the ground and sticking it to my forehead.

It stayed there at first, shaking a bit as I frowned in concentration. I only relaxed when after a few seconds, the leaf fell from its place in my forehead and onto my lap. During my pitiful demonstration of chakra control, Itachi sat still and completely silent across me. I didn't dare look up, knowing this must have been such a disgrace in the heir's eyes. An Uchiha that could not master the leaf exercise was as good as a civilian.

"There seems to be something wrong at a medical level, Akane-san. Have you had your first medical examination done yet?" I shook my head no, it was one of the many options I had considered. It was actually the most plausible one, since there was no way I could know if there was something wrong with me.

I suspected my brother did know what was wrong, but didn't tell me to spare my feelings. Shisui had already awakened the sharingan, and made it a habit to use it on me every time I practiced chakra control. Another thing that clued me on the fact that Shisui knew what was wrong was his incredible amount of patience. Every time he gave me different pieces of advice and every time he looked at me with the exact same expression he wore when faced with some particularly difficult challenge.

"I don't think you will ever be able to manage ninjutsu or genjutsu, Akane-san. If there is something wrong with your coils, then I don't see how you could. The fact that you managed to make it this far is impressive. What I would like to know is if your family is aware of this, why have they not informed the elders?"

My mind was racing, Shisui could be the only one who knew if something was wrong with my coils since my grandparents had never awoken the sharingan, in fact they had never been shinobi in the first place. But why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he pushed for a medical check to be done on me? this would definitively have affected my shinobi carreer should it get out; I would have been benched before I even got started and I would have been made into a career bride just like my oba-chan wanted.

"My brother wouldn't have wanted to shatter my dreams of becoming a kunoichi, but if anybody knows then that's him."

I sighed and turned to watch the sun set on the west side of Konoha. Would I let this stop me? could I still become a shinobi, even if everything was pointing the other way? Even if my body prevented me from doing so? How would I make it past the medical checkup before entering the academy without the elders being notified? An Uchiha with malfunctioning chakra coils was enough of a disgrace, would they even risk sending me to the academy if there existed the faintest possibility that I would bring shame to the Uchiha name?

"You can still become a kunoichi, you are aware of that, aren't you?" my body didn't move, but I did glance at my companion from the corner of my eye. "I will not tell the elders, and I could put the medic on a slight genjutsu should it come to that. You would have to be able to manage the academy jutsu in order to raise no suspicion though"

I was convinced Itachi must have had a reason for wanting to help me; but right then nothing seemed to come to mind. I would have to tell Shisui about everything of course, I would not be lying to my brother any time soon. I never had and I never would. I also needed him to help me train, wich to be honest was the main reason I didn't want to keep him in the dark; that, and the fact that he probably already knew.

"I will have to tell my brother."

"Tell me what, Akane-chan?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Shisui's voice sounded behind me. Itachi on the other hand, did not seem affected in the least by his sudden appearance. Before I could say anything, the boy in front of me started to explain for me.

The two males stared at each other in silence for a while; Shisui seemed to be attempting to make out the heirs reasons for helping me. He seemed to be under the impression that if given enough time, Itachi would betray me. If there was something my brother put before everything else, that was me.

"You do realize my sister will be forced into an arranged marriage should someone find out her chakra system is compromised?" Itachi just nodded and attempted to hold my brother's gaze with a courage I didn't think he was capable of. Shisui was scary when he was this serious. "I will not have her reduced to a glorified housewife, to an object for child bearing if she does not want to. I will do anything in my power to make her wish come true, do I make myself clear?"Once again the Uchiha heir nodded, and assured my brother that he would provide as much support as he could.

But what I never knew and Shisui seemed to already have figured out, was why.

Itachi had clearly been serious when he promised to aid my progress; because the very next morning, as I was going through my stretches, he jumped over the fence and made his way over to the veranda. He took a seat and watched me go through every move, waiting patiently for me to be done. I was not entirely surprised when I managed to spot him, choosing to finish my workout before acknowledging his presence. He didn't seem to be judging my choice of exercise, but simply analyzing it, storing the information for later use.

"I didn't think you would actually come see me at five am this morning. Looks like I underestimated you, Itachi-san." I said when the last set was over and done with.

I walked over to the veranda, where he was sitting; beside him a little tea table had been set, with a teapot was lazily steaming on it. Shisui could have been the only one to set it there, since our grandparents wouldn't be up for another hour.

"I said I would help your brother with overseeing your training, and I neither like avoiding a senpai's request, not I make a habit out of lying; so that is exactly what I intend to do." Answered my new training partner, as he poured us both a cup of green tea.

Even if it was still quite early, I could tell it was going to be a chilly day, the old hand-me-down shinobi sandals my brother had given me were doing little to keep my feet warm; and the chill crawling up my yukata every now and then was getting quite uncomfortable.

"You should probably get different clothes to train in, Akane-san. A yukata is most certainly going to get in your way."

I smiled down at the navy material covering my legs. It was old, in fact you could see yhe years of wear from how much the silver floral pattern had faded. It had been a gift from my grandma, and to her horror, I had loved it so much it would be the only thing I'd wear for the longest time; even to train in. the fabric was smoothed out from use and had stretched in places that made it look oversized if worn for something other than working out.

"Yeah, I know. But it's been with me for so long, I feel kind of bad getting rid of it." I said while patting off some shards of grass before kneeling on Itachi's other side. He handed me a cup before taking his own.

"I can see why, it looks to me as if it used to be quite the garment. Whoever gave it to you must have spent a considerable amount of money on it." I smiled lightly and took a sip out of my cup.

"That's the thing, my oba-chan made it herself."

We didn't speak after that; we finished our tea in silence before making our way to the centre of the yard and started our new training routine. That was the first of a long series of encounters, in which I would put my future in Uchiha Itachi's hands.

[wordsaresimple-imnot]

War meets Death - Ch. 1

This is an AU!AHS with Michael as the son of the Greek gods, Hades and Persephone. 

Pairing: Michael x O/C Female (Emersyn)

Rating - eventual NSFW (not super slow burn but wont start for a few chapters)

Type: multi-chapter story

So much longer than I planned it to be, but I’m happy with the outcome. I have a couple ideas of how I’ll start the next chapter so hopefully that’ll be up in a couple days. Forgive any spelling or punctuation errors, I’m getting my laptop set up again on Word and it’s being a pain. I hope y’all love reading this as much as I loved writing it! Thank you to everyone that gave such encouraging responses to my plot-line post idea for this! <3 <3 <3 

Here we go! - Chapter 1

Emersyn had been sitting in her car for twenty minutes. No matter how many times she gave herself a pep talk she couldn't bring herself to get out and walk into the house. Was it fear? In a way, yes. Not fear of failing or being turned away. Not fear that if this didn't work she'd be on her own completely. No. It was fear that this would work. That her Nana was correct in her letter and that by going down this path she'd finally have answers. Having the answers and knowing who she truly was, was what she feared the most. Taking a deep sigh, she pulled her letter out of the bag and read it for what was maybe the hundredth time since she'd been given it on her birthday two months ago. 

"Follow my instructions my darling girl. Everything will work out and I promise you will gain more than answers to your past. You will get the future you were born to have. I am sorry I cannot tell you everything but rules are rules and I've bent them as much as I can. I love you more than anything.         - Nana"

As Emersyn finished that last paragraph, she forced the butterflies to calm and pushed every doubt out of her head. "Okay Nana, here I go," she mumbled to herself. She put the letter back in her purse before turning her car off and stepping out, slinging the purse over her shoulder.

 Once outside the car she let herself look around her surroundings once again. Off to her right was a large hedge in the middle of the gravel front. It was sculpted in a scepter and cornucopia, representations of who's home it was. The faint smell of flowers and fruit swirled around her, no doubt from the famed garden behind the house. Everyone knew the lady of the house loved agriculture and beauty, and her husband though intimidating could not say no to her. However the rest of the front, and no doubt the inside, gave little doubt of who held dark power here.

 The gravel crunched under Emersyn's flats as she made her way to the stairs leading to the massive house. House wasn't even the correct word. More like a mansion. Everything was ebony marble, dark and sleek while also glittering. It was daunting against the bright blue sky but also the most gorgeous thing she'd ever seen. At the base of the steps on either side in a grey marble was the family protector, Cerberus, sitting at attention waiting for this master. 

Breathe in, breathe out. She kept the mantra up until she was at the door. For a minute she just looked at it. It was made of solid marble with pearl for the handle and door bell. A monogrammed L was etched into the front of it. Emersyn nearly bolted back to her car but her legs felt like lead and her Nana's voice boomed into her head. "You are braver and stronger than you know. Grasp the power in your blood and all will be right." She'd told Emersyn that since she was a little girl anytime she was afraid and it always worked. Just as she lifted her hand to press the doorbell the door gave a click and slowly swung open.

 She waited a couple seconds for someone to show themselves and speak, but nothing happened. It wasn't proper but she felt something tugging her forward so she slowly opened the door more to walk in. Once she was completely inside the door once again moved on its own and closed itself. 

Emersyn took in some long deep breathes to calm her nerves as she looked around at her new surroundings. The inside was even more stunning then the outside. The floors and the grand staircase not far in front of her were made of the ebony marble that made the outside of the house. The walls were an off white with a few paintings and a couple mirrors put up. Above her was a huge shimmering chandelier with white lights and black jewels. She could see some black furniture pieces scattered around the room and in a couple open rooms easily visible from her spot. On some of the tables were smooth pearl vases with flowers in them, giving the house that same alluring smell as outside. Just as Emersyn had made her way to one by the door and was leaning in to take a sniff an authoritative voice stopped her.

 "Who the hell are you?"

 Emersyn spun around gripping her purse tighter to keep herself from screaming. A woman slightly shorter than her with dark short hair, dressed entirely in black stood by the stair case. She must have been coming from one of the back rooms when she saw Emersyn. The woman snapped her fingers to get Emersyn's attention as she hadn't answered the question. 

"I'm so sorry. I was going to knock or ring the bell but the door opened and I thought someone did it. But no one was there so I walked in and I know I should have called out but I got distracted by everything being so beautiful and I wanted to smell the flowers and -" She knew she was word vomiting, something that happened when she was nervous, but she couldn't stop them until the lady cut her off.

"Wait. The door opened on its own? You didn't do anything?" The look on her face was blank but her eyes were calculating and taking every response in. Emersyn nodded her head. 

"Correct ma'am. I was about to push the door bell and it clicked open. I waited but no one was there, so I came inside and when I was in the door closed again." 

The lady was quiet for so long staring at her, she thought maybe she didn't hear her. Then she spoke again, "Interesting. Back to my original question, who the hell are you?" 

Emersyn gathered her thoughts. "My name is Emersyn. I'm uh, not entirely sure what I'm here for but my Nana had a letter given to me on my birthday and it said to come here. I'm suppose to see a Miriam Mead. Do you know her?"

The lady raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, "You could say that. I'm Ms. Mead. But I don't know anything about meeting with you or anyone else."

"I have a letter addressed to you from my Nana. She said to give it to you and that everything would make sense after that." She rummaged through her purse and pulled the envelope out, walking towards Ms. Mead with it. 

"Look kid, you seem nice but I -" The stern look Ms. Mead had fell and she stopped talking as soon as she saw the hand writing on the envelope. She took it from Emersyn and pulled the long letter out, instantly going to the signature. Ms. Mead looked between Emersyn and the letter a couple times before she spoke again. "This is your Nana? Truly?" 

Emersyn looked at the signature shown to her and nodded her head. "Yes ma - Ms. Mead. That's her." The next minute was the longest of her life as Ms. Mead seemed to scan the letter and would look back at her a few times. Finally she said something. 

"Go sit down in there and wait for me. Don't snoop. I'll be back in a bit." Ms. Mead pointed to a room to Emersyn's left that seemed to be a type of sitting/visiting room with a couch, coffee table, two chairs, book cases, and a large bay window. She nodded again as she walked in and sat on the couch. Ms. Mead studied the girl for a moment, trying to get a sense of if she was trying to pull a scam but nothing raised any flags. Going back the way she'd come, she went into her office and sat down at her desk to read the letter in full. 

***********

Twenty minutes had gone by and Ms. Mead had re-read that letter three times. Few times in her life was she at a loss for words but this would be one of them. She never thought this day would come but here it was. A small chuckle left her lips as she looked at the writers last sentences. 

"This is my last act of defiance towards by daughters decision with my grand-daughter. She might have been stronger than me, but she is not stronger than fate. Enjoy the outcome for me, my dear friend."

Oh I will. 

Ms. Mead suddenly felt lighter. As if her worries for the future were dissolving and everything was going to be the way it was meant to be. With a final scan of the letter she folded it up and put it in her desk, locking it away, then took a deep breathe as she stood to set her part of everything in motion. 

***********

Michael was bored and agitated. He'd been slumped in a chair staring at the fireplace for the past two hours. His laptop and files left open and ignored on his desk behind him. Did he have things that needed to be done ASAP? Yes. Did he have the motivation to do them? Not in the slightest. He sighed so loudly his dog, Cerberus, came over to check on him.

"I'm good boy, just ignoring my work. I'm sure I'll get a message from father later." He grumbled as he pet the three heads of his faithful beast. Cerberus seemed to understand as he gave a low sigh himself and laid his heads on his masters lap. They sat that way for a few minutes when a knock came on the door. Michael told them to enter and kept staring at the fire.

Ms. Mead walked towards Michael but stopped short of the chair next to him. Cerberus came a small wag and went over to greet the woman. He'd known her since she started before Michael was born and had always liked her. She patted his heads and told him to go sit down, which he did. Michael held a small smile as he watched the interaction. 

Cerberus was a perfect dog, but only to those he respected and liked. Namely only Michael's family and Ms. Mead. Everyone else he scared nearly to death or actually tried to eat them. It was entertaining at times. Still wearing his small smile he looked Ms. Mead, seeing her looking at him. Her expression was soft, as it usually was with him, but her eyes were calculating something he couldn't figure out.

 "What is it?" He asked, sitting up straighter and sounding a little worried. Had something happened to his parents? 

"Nothing. But I need you to come meet someone. She's in the sitting room up front." She spoke as clearly and un-emotional as she could. She couldn't let her excitement out just yet. There were things that had to happen before she could celebrate. First was getting them in the room together.

Michael rolled his eyes and slummed back in chair. "Not another 'wanna be queen' one of the families sent over is it? I really don't have time for it. I'm far too busy." He waved a hand towards his desk. At this Ms. Mead raised her eyebrow.

 "Firstly, no she's not from any of them. And secondly, really? You've been in the same spot since I brought lunch to you and that was hours ago. Don't start with me." Michael shifted in his chair and refused to make eye contact knowing his excuse wasn't good. He just didn't want to meet someone else that only wanted the wealth and the power that came with him, instead of wanting him. Ms. Mead called his name pulling him from his thoughts and made him look at her again.This time she was sitting in the chair next to his, leaning towards him.

"I would never force someone on you. You know I only want the best for you, for this family. I love you all like you're my own. But I wont be here forever, and your parents need my help with things in the Underworld. You need someone you can depend on by your side for when I'm away. I think this girl would be a perfect fit to take over for me and help you." The look in her eyes and the steadiness of her voice told Michael that he needed to trust her. So he nodded and stood up to follow her with Cerberus trailing behind. 

***********

Emersyn had skimmed the books on the book a few times and after fifteen minutes of still waiting on Ms. Mead decided to pull one off as a distraction. Blinding grabbing a big one, she settled into the window seat made into the bay window. It was cozy and had a lovely view of some of the flowers surrounding the property. She looked at the book in her lap. Inside the Gods and Demi-Gods of the world. 

She flipped it open to a random spot and just started skimming. It was pictures of all the symbols and crests of the families. Some of them she knew from her growing up and some were new to her. Just as she turned the page again her eyes stopped dead on one at the bottom of the page. A ring of fire circled two swords making an X. A tingling sensation started in her fingers, growing up her hand and arm. The longer she stared at it the stronger the sensation got and her breathing started growing shallow. Just as her eyes started to flit around the page for who that belonged she felt something cold bump her arm.

Emersyn turned away from the book to be face to face with the infamous Cerberus, just staring at her. Logically she should have screamed or jumped away but she did neither. Instead she closed the book, moving it aside and looked at the three faces taking her in. 

"Hello there," she spoke softly, raising a hand towards the noses for it take her scent in. Slowly the heads took turns sniffing and then after taking it in, he gave a small wag and sat down in front of her. She gave a small laugh of relief and started giving the beast some pets and scratches behind the ears. 

As Emersyn smiled and gave attention to Cerberus, Michael stood in the entry way watching her while Ms. Mead watched him. He'd tried to grab Cerberus before he went to the girl, not wanting to deal with her being terrified and possibly crying but what he was watching was almost as frazzling as what he tried to stop. 

His hound, one of the most feared creatures that hated everything outside the family and Ms. Mead, was wagging its tail and totally attentive to this stranger. This girl. This girl that Michael now couldn't stop looking at. She had hair blacker than the marble the made up his house and skin as pale as the moon. She could have been a Goddess herself, but he knew all the females in the other families and had never met her before. She didn't look like she ran in those circles based off of her outfit either. Most of them loved to show off their skin and wealth, but her outfit was a simple white button up shirt with black skinny jeans and flats. Her hair was pulled into a low bun and she seemed to be free of much if not all make-up. Natural and bright. Something he wasn't use to outside of his mother.

Ms. Mead nudged him forward, effectively putting him in the room with her. Clearing his throat, he gave a small whistle to call Cerberus away from the girl. Cerberus gave a small whine but conceded to his master, giving the girl a small lick before walking to lay down by Ms. Mead. Michael gave his dog a raised eye brow as he walked by but turned towards the girl when he heard a small "hello." She was smiling at him and it was like seeing for the first time. Everything was bright and beautiful. And when their eyes met, damn he was done for. 

Emersyn looked at the stranger that called the dog away and forgot how to breathe. The most beautiful man she'd ever seen in her life was standing in front of her. His outfit was fitted perfectly to his body; black shoes, pants and a long sleeve turtle neck. Wavy strawberry blonde hair framed his face, complimenting his golden skin and his eyes - oh those eyes. The brightest blue she'd ever seen; the sky and ocean didn't even compare to them. 

Michael had never seen such green eyes. They were greener than any harvest field he'd ever seen during the spring tributes. They were calm and so easy to fall into, but there was something swirling behind them. Something he wanted a better look at. Taking a step forward to help his curiosity and to be a good host, he put his hand out introducing himself.

"Michael Langdon. Ms. Mead neglected to tell me your name, I'm afraid." He flashed a smile, sending calming energies into the room. She kept smiling, standing up and moving forward to reach his hand. 

"That's alright. I'm Emersyn, or Emery, either is okay." She gave a silent thank you to the universe that her hand wasn't sweat as she reached him. Her hand slid into his and everything stopped. Nerves. Doubts. All the thoughts that had been plaguing her since she set out on this journey. It was just her, him, and a humming that started somewhere deep within her and spread into her very blood. The tingling sensation she had earlier came back but isolated just to her hand that was holding Michael's.

Michael was feeling something as well. His frustrations and uncertainties went away so fast, it was almost like he never had them. The most serene feeling he'd ever had washed over him, engulfing him like a warm hug. A calm set deep into his bones, then the slow simmer set in. It wasn't uncomfortable, more like pleasurable. Every part of his body and soul was calling out, craving, this girl. The good and the bad. His hand that still held hers tightened slightly as he took a half step closer. As he moved closer his curiosity became stronger. Her eyes were still that perfect green, but then a fire flashed across them. Strong, red, and bright. He'd never seen anything like it. A breathe later and they'd settled back to normal. He wondered if he'd imagined it. 

They seemed to come to their senses at the same time as they dropped their hands and everything else came back into focus. 

"Ms. Mead tells me you're here about taking over her position when she semi-retires in a few months." He said, trying to regain some control back from the situation. 

Emersyn was going to say she didn't know anything about, but then remembered part of her Nana's letter; Go along with whatever Miriam says. She is there to help. So instead she said, "Yes. I know I'll have a lot to learn and big shoes to fill but I catch on fast. I can do it." 

Michael smiled, "Ms. Mead is definitely a tough act to follow. I'd be totally lost without her." He glanced over at her, as she rolled her eyes but sent him a soft smile none the less. Emersyn could feel the true bond between them and it made her a little sad. She had that with her Nana, never having quite bonded properly with her own mother and when her Nana passed she was alone. Hopefully not anymore. Michael turned back to her, making her push those thoughts away. 

"You have Ms. Mead's backing and apparently Cerberus would like you around as well," Michael nodded to the dog that had moved by her again wagging his tail and looking expectantly for attention. Emersyn gave a small laugh before he continued, "All I can say is welcome to the Langdon family. We take care of our own and by working for us, you are one of us. I'll let you and Ms. Mead go over the details and look forward to seeing you in action." 

Emersyn gave him a 100 watt smile, he found he loved bringing out. "Thank you sir. I won't let you or your family down." 

"Michael, please. And I believe you." He smiled back. 

"Thank you, Michael." Her eyes held his and once again they flashed that fire. The craving came back full force in him, causing him to take a step back. If he stayed too close he was afraid he might actually act upon these feelings and scare the poor girl. With a parting nod he bid her and Ms. Mead good-bye, whistling for Cerberus to follow. 

The dog gave Emersyn a look, begging for a final pet which she could not deny him. After she'd paid each head some attention, he gave her another lick on the hand and followed after his master. She looked at Ms. Mead wondering what the next step would be. 

"Come along girl. Let's get you set up." Ms. Mead motioned for her to follow and started up the staircase. Emersyn followed behind, each step easier than the last. For the first time in her life she felt she was where she belonged. 

Let me know what y’all think! And if you wanna be put on the tag-list!

Requested tag-list: @jamesbuckybarnes13

[ghoultyrant]

Azula: Sympathetic Monster?...

(Cross-posted to Vigaroe)

I was really jarred by how the end portion of Avatar: The Last Airbender handled Azula.

For most of the series, Azula's characterization was very consistent: she was someone whose relationship to socioemotional considerations was that those are a weakness other people have. Azula and Zuko shared parents, but their respective relationships illustrated this dynamic through contrast:

For Zuko, his mother was a warm and loving parent, and when she disappeared this was a bit of trauma that seems to have permanently changed how he interacted with the world. His father was someone he respected and wanted to impress, and even after he was permanently scarred by the man he still seemed to desire to gain Ozai's respect. These relationships mattered to him on a deep and inescapable level, and even his relationship to Azula built on this idea: though virtually every interaction we see between the two is one where Azula makes Zuko miserable, when she first showed up in the show and acted like a caring sibling, he wanted such a scenario to be real desperately enough that instead of being suspicious on the basis of her past behavior he actually bought this inexplicable change completely up until an officer made the mistake of referring to Zuko and Iroh as prisoners.

Zuko can't stop craving positive familial relationships even when there's a persistent pattern of open and deliberate abuse.

Azula, meanwhile, is abhorrent to her mother and doesn't seem terribly bothered by this idea. Her father's unpleasant treatment of her brother is something to smile about, or even help arrange to happen. Zuko's suffering is a game, not something to be bothered by, because she doesn't care about him. She doesn't seem to care about any of them, or indeed about anyone at all except perhaps herself -and that's more assumed than actually illustrated.

This extends much further than just their immediate familial relationships. Azula's 'friends' are minions she coerces/terrorizes into working for her. Zuko starts the series with no peer-type friends that we ever see unless you count the edge case of Mai, but with a sister who treats emotions and social connections as a weakness to be picked on it would be pretty amazing if he did have any friends.

This is a very consistent point of contrast between the two characters, one that tells us a lot about Azula's character, and it's a character that's pretty difficult for most people to sympathize with. She's the kind of character that often gets labeled a psychopath or sociopath, and which is often treated as unambiguously an evil so dark that the audience is not intended to feel even slightly bad if justice comes in the form of a gruesome death or the like.

... and then the end of the series tries to tell us Azula wants the love of her parents. That she tormented Zuko because their mother always loved him and not her, and she couldn't understand why. That she did everything she did because she desperately wanted her father's approval, so much so that when he leaves her behind to go be Phoenix King this is pretty much the last straw for her sanity. That she actually did care about her friends, and tormented and terrorized them because... she thought making them fear her would do a better job of ensuring loyalty than making them love her?...

The whole thing is bizarre. In the first place, it's irreconcilable with literally everything about her character prior to this interpretation being invented. In the second place, the story is actively undermining it as it's introducing the concept: we get a flashback showing that Azula was a horrible little monster all the way into early childhood, and also get flashbacks implying that Ozai was actually a pretty okay father prior to his wife being taken away from him -and these flashbacks are happening after the series has started trying to sell us on the idea that Azula wasn't born evil. The first flashback I'm referring to directly undermines this idea by depicting Azula being a monster for no clear motive in early childhood: the second undermines it indirectly, by making it so you can't explain L'il Azula's awful behavior as being a product of her desire to chase her father's approval, since it goes back to before he was modeling/encouraging awful behavior.

More than the actual plothole/narrative plausibility angle, though, what bothers me most is... a thing that needs a bit more grounding.

So let's get to that.

One of the major background elements of Avatar is being humanizing and sympathetic. Our first 'antagonist' is Zuko, and though he's on the 'bad guy' side the show quickly lets us know what is motivating Zuko and makes it clear he's a figure deserving of sympathy and potentially even pity. He's not simply the enemy who we must defeat/foil/evade/etc, but a person who has good and reasonable reasons for his own actions, and it's just unfortunate they place him at odds with the protagonists.

Zuko is the strongest example of this, but especially in the first season it's fairly typical for entities to start out framed in a manner that suggests straightforward 'bad guy-ness' and then the story reveals that it's not as straightforward as that, or is entirely untrue. A rampaging spirit monster assaulting innocent villagers for no obvious reason turns out to be hurting and angry because of real metaphysical harm done to them, and once they are made to understand that things will get better and that the people they've kidnapped weren't behind it the rampage stops and the kidnapped people are returned. An insane and hostile king turns out to be an old friend playing tricks. Etc.

Unfortunately, the writers seem to have struggled to hold to this consistently. This humanizing, sympathetic approach to people is applied to a fair amount of entities, but... not to everyone, and even the people it gets applied to it gets caveats. With the semi-exception of Zuko's sympathetic backstory not showing up until the episode after the two pilot episodes, generally a hostile character is either revealed to be sympathetic before the episode they were introduced in ends, or the story never tries to humanize them. Zhao is a straightforward gloryhound villain whose karmic death is treated as wholly deserved, and no attempt is ever made to follow up on any possible tragedy in his death. We never meet any of his loved ones, let alone see them being heartbroken by his death. We never see him have any friends, or at least not any friends who aren't themselves treated as fairly one-dimensionally villainous. The one-off Fire Nation officers running prisons in the Earth Kingdom and the like are generally one-dimensional villains we're pretty much supposed to view as deserving a righteous punching. When we meet the Dai Li and their master, the whole thing is an Orwellian nightmare that's never suggested to have a sympathetic reason for existing, and which deliberately keeps its own king out of the loop on important matters because... it's a sinister Orwellian organization, that's just what you do if you're an evil power behind the throne.

Azula and, to a lesser extent, Ozai, end up suffering because the writers seem to have spent most of the story running on Villain Tropes Logic, and only later on remembered that this is supposed to be a narrative in which everyone is a person deserving of humane and sympathetic treatment. Ozai's handling is plausible enough, but this is more due to the fact that while Ozai's influence has been made apparent all the way back to the third episode of the series, Ozai himself has been a largely undefined shadow figure, motives and goals inscrutable enough you could drape just about anything over what we see and end up with something plausible.

Azula doesn't benefit from this murkiness. She's had a strong and consistent character that has been developed consistently and clearly on-screen over a notable number of episodes, and attempting to rework her into being a Terrible But Sympathetic Person is like building a house in a swamp and then when you realize you're not happy living in a swamp you... change the wallpaper.

This is obviously bad practice in the first place, but there's also a subtle dehumanizing element to this attempt to humanize Azula, and that is the thing I'm uncomfortable with. In effect, the story's handling tells us that the Azula we knew is not someone who it's okay to view with sympathy, or treat humanely or with empathy. It has to invent a new version of Azula who, instead of being essentially exempt from the usual socioemotional experience, is actually deeply tied into it and just being awful as part of that.

This is frustrating, because the Azula we knew could be treated in a humane and empathic manner. Just because Azula doesn't really value these kinds of connections and experiences doesn't mean she's inherently destined to be a monster where the only acceptable response is to put her out of everyone else's misery. A different environment could have shaped Azula differently -it's likely that she'd always have had a streak of pragmatism or ruthlessness to her, given what we see, but it's easy to imagine how Ursa could have made more of an attempt to understand why her daughter was eg torturing small animals for fun and then adjusted how she handled Azula's upbringing. The Azula we got has a backstory that paints her as almost feral, with a father who's barely present, a mother that doesn't really want to have anything to do with her, and no evidence of any replacement parental figures to shape Azula into thinking about the world differently.

If you take a girl who isn't all that interested in social connections in the first place, give her tremendous latitude and power simply because of who her parents are, and then never allow her to experience anything like a partnership to see the benefits it brings and understand what is necessary to reap those benefits, is it really a surprise when she ends up viewing the world through a lens that makes human relationships a weakness? She got all the power she could want without ever having to befriend anyone, and she got to see her father become a broken man when her mother was taken away, not to mention see how wimpy Zuko was as a child coddled by their mother.

This is easy to use as a base to keep Azula's awful canon behavior while framing her as a human being we should try to empathize and understand. Restructuring her motives into being pretty much the exact opposite of her entire character up to this point is unnecessary, a bit disheartening, and while the show could potentially have tried to make some 'No So Different' point about Azula and Zuko it... didn't. There's kind of an interesting point that the show is consistent about having them both be Sympathetic Evil when it's framing them as seeking the approval of their father, but it gets lost in just dismissing Azula as crazy where Zuko's behavior was treated as completely sane when he was doing pretty much literally the exact same thing.

It's a frustrating finish to one of the series' strongest characters.

[425599167]

Do you have any advice on writing Barriss? I got recommended you as the person to ask, because I was thinking about writing something with her.

Really? Alright, here are some guidelines for her and the other canon/legend characters I’ve included. Let me know if it helps.

Barriss:

Barriss embodies every contradiction and failing of Jedi philosophy. Pacifism when convenient, fear of the dark side despite fear being considered a path to it, all of that. Training her whole life to become a Jedi has left her mired in that mindset and she can’t see her way out, because she’s stopped wanting the thing she’s always wanted, and that would make all her efforts “pointless”.

Barriss is completely self-aware. On some level, she knows about #1. And it gnaws at her. Constantly. The reason she’s seemingly the first Jedi to have doubts about the war and act on them is because the contradictions became too much.

Barriss is resourceful. Combat-wise, she is scarily good at using the environment to her advantage, either through improvised weapons or use of terrain. This was obvious in her fight with Ashoka, hiding behind industrial machinery, creating distractions, and then the steam trick. This was also noticeable on Geonosis: it was her initial idea to use the enemy’s own tank against them. Depending on how much control the brain worm had, using shards of broken equipment may have also been her idea. Being weirdly proficient at combat is just another thing about herself that confuses and worries her.

Barriss isn’t dark-sided. Alignment in the Force is usually treated as dependent on intent, not consequence, that’s why dark sides rely on emotions like anger and hatred. Killing alone isn’t what draws on either side of the Force, motivation determine that. Barriss does not want to be what she is. She still killed those people, and has to be held responsible for it, but there wasn’t any real malevolence behind it, just fear and desperation. That’s not darkness on its own.

Barriss is highly intelligent, arguably the smartest padawan we see, probably one of the smartest people in the Jedi Order. Her memory is keen, and with adequate prep time, she can come up with detailed and extremely effective strategies. Improvisation isn’t her forte, but she can at least adapt fast enough to accomplish her goal. The only reason her plot failed, even after things started getting beyond her control, was because she let Ventress live and kept her sabers, which could charitably be interpreted as an act of self-sabotage.

Barriss is isolated. Sure, she gets along enough well with others, but Ahsoka was probably her only actual friend. Her self-image revolves around what (she thinks) Luminara thinks of her, and has no other role models. She hates being touched, but needs to be hugged.

Barriss is self-loathing. She’s a murderer and a hypocrite and she knows it. It’s important to note she considered herself those things before the bombing due to her participation in the war. She also has no idea what to do about it. No matter what opinion people have of her, in-universe or out, no one hates Barriss more than Barriss hates Barriss.

Ahsoka:

Ahsoka doesn’t like being jerked around. Attempts to manipulate or use her in any way really irritate her, especially after the events leading up to her leaving the Jedi. Any kind of foul play or indication of such will immediately tick her off. 

Ahsoka doesn’t like being alone. She was raised in a communal setting, and throughout the Clone Wars, there probably wasn’t a single day that went by without her interacting with Anakin, Obi-Wan, R2, other Jedi, the clones, or Padmé, all of whom were practically family to her. Now she doesn’t have them. At best, she knows they’re alive but can’t reach them, at worst, she knows or believes they’re dead. She’s getting new people in her life and mending her relationship with Barriss, but it’s difficult.

Ahsoka won’t hesitate. Her development didn’t just teach her restraint, it was gaining experience so she knows what to do immediately when split-second decision making is required. She’s a survivor, and will kill people if they’re a threat. Killing isn’t her go-to option, but if her opponent has to die for her or her friends to live, it’s the end for them.

Ahsoka is tough. Should go without saying at this point, but she’s extremely strong and is an experienced soldier and survivalist. She can whether harsh environments, and use weapons other than her saber with a reasonable degree of skill. The destruction of the Jedi and the Republic shook her, but she kept going. She hurts, but she endures. Somehow.

Ahsoka learns from her mistakes. She has combat experience both in space and on the ground, in infiltration and direct attack, some of which nearly killed her and those around her. Every lesson about what it means to be a Jedi, or a leader, she is paying attention and learning, even if she doesn’t get it right away.

Ahsoka is much like Anakin, except better. As her master, he’s had more of an effect on her than anyone else, acting as her primary role model. And she’s better than him. She’s less arrogant, more in control of her emotions, less aggressive, more self-reflective, and isn’t possessive of the people she cares about like he is. 

Thrawn:

Thrawn is a static character. That’s not a criticism of the writing behind him, Thrawn’s lack of personal development is the reason he’s a villain and the eventual cause of his death. He has immense intelligence, but never, not once at any point in his life does he commit any of it towards becoming a better person. He’s completely certain he’s thought everything out and chosen the best option. Throw whatever impassioned speech you want at him about the evils he’s committed, he won’t change. Rukh killed him because he kept the Noghri enslaved, even when he had all the power in the Empire and could’ve freed them, could’ve stopped compromising morality, could’ve stopped lying to himself, and he didn’t. 

Thrawn is a master of psychological warfare and counterintelligence. He understands others easily, but that skill is completely dedicated towards finding ways to bring them down, often by feeding them information which will cause them to act in a way that furthers his plans, or simply causes groups of enemies to lose cohesion because they don’t trust each other. He doesn’t just anticipate his enemies, he makes them do what he wants. Also the art thing is over-exaggerated. If you can come up with an interesting way to include it, great, but it’s really the least interesting or menacing thing about the character.

Thrawn has just enough noble qualities to make people think the Empire is something worth fighting for. While the xenophobic higher-ups in the Empire may loathe him, one of his greatest strengths is how he’s seen by people who serve under him. He values the lives of his soldiers, and won’t waste them. Through his skill as a strategist, he gives them hope of victory. He respects their work, and they know it. And it’s not an act. Vader is feared, Thrawn is respected. Palpatine controls, Thrawn leads.

Thrawn is only as evil as necessary, but he’s still Evil. Don’t ignore that.

Thrawn is alien. While he may be closer to human than many Star Wars species, he has an uncanny-valley creepiness to him in contrast to more overtly terrifying villains like Vader. One thing I wish Rebels had kept was that his eyes don’t have pupils; I understand it was so the audience can see where he’s looking, but not being able to read him would work in the show’s favor. Don’t show his inner thoughts unless it’s absolutely necessary. Keep his exact mindset and motivations unknown to everyone, including his allies. With Ahsoka, despite being non-human she still acts and emotes like one, and her alien features correspond to human ones i.e. hair and eyebrows. The audience is intended to treat Ahsoka like a human, while they should be given reminders that Thrawn is definitely not.

Talon Karrde:

Karrde honors his deals. If he says he’ll do something, he’ll do it, even if he does so at a loss, and he won’t pull any exact-words bullshit to wriggle out of it. He’s a good foil for Hondo Ohnaka.

Karrde is fair. His employees are paid well, and there are significant benefits to working for him, especially in comparison to other criminals. The agreements he makes with people that are mutually beneficial, and he’s open to renegotiation. Still, that’s all it is: an agreement. Working with him doesn’t make him your friend.

Karrde came from nothing. It’s never established in Legends, but I think this guy grew up poor, and now that he has considerable funds at his disposal with more coming in, he wants the bestest, highest-quality ships and equipment and supplies. For himself, and for the people who work for him. Looking down on him for being a smuggler is one of the few things that can get under his skin. Brings back memories. 

Karrde is nondescript. He’s got a lot of money, but nothing about his appearance and residence are ostentatious. It’s all part of keeping a low profile, not drawing more enemies by showing off his success.

Karrde keeps calm. Even in dire situations, the guy keeps a cool head and tries to see his way out of it. He’s in complete control of his facial expressions and body language, and gives nothing away. In Legends, he was able to keep out of Thrawn’s clutches for a while, and his abilities should reflect that.

Karrde tries to act True Neutral, but he’s actually Neutral Good. He doesn’t like people knowing this.

Oh boy, do I have thoughts on Revan:

Revan is not good or evil. In my opinion, it’s best when “Revan the Prodigal Knight” and “Darth Revan, Lord of the Sith” are only a hair’s breadth different from each other. Close enough you wouldn’t be able to tell which is which until you’ve had a very long discussion. My “light side” Revan holocron has not lost a step and is still one of the baddest (ex)meatbags in the galaxy. If they’re being written as a perfect hero or a remorseless monster, you’re missing a lot of opportunities.

Revan thinks in the long-term. The extreme long term. It wouldn’t be unusual for them to lay groundwork for objectives which are years, decades, or in the case of my Revan, centuries away. This is also a factor in how their sense of morality got warped, willing to sacrifice millions if it means the galaxy will still be populated in a thousand years. That big-picture thinking lets them shrug off the “small” stuff. Like the trail of corpses they leave.

Revan is a polymath. Much of what makes them so improbably hypercompetent is that, unlike many characters, they are not overspecialized either in skill or general knowledge. They don’t know everything, but they can be considered to have taken a 100-level course in basically any subject you want to bring up. They’ve canonically shown knowledge of strategy, tactics, politics, history, economics, sociology, linguistics, and multiple fields of engineering ranging from functional to expert, in addition to detailed understanding of the Jedi and Sith.

Revan is pretty laid back most of the time. They’re probably the least dramatic Sith… for however much that’s worth, and are pretty forgiving. While Malak was giddily prepping the stage for their climactic final duel on the top deck of the Star Forge, Revan was probably standing alone in the elevator during the long ride up the megastructure, humming their own made-up theme music or something. Among Star Wars characters, they have one of the more deliberate senses of humor, intentionally making jokes rather than incidentally doing things the audience might be amused by. Even when explaining something deeply philosophical, they speak with a casual tone and vocabulary you’d expect of an average person. They know bigger words, in several languages, but if the intent is communicating a point to people, there’s no need to act sophisticated. They’re not overly polite or sesquipedalian, and they’re not reserved about profanity.

Revan doesn’t depend on the Force. I have no love for Kreia, but this is consistent with what you might expect from her training. While stronger with it, Revan is fully capable of fighting without supernatural aid, or lightsabers for that matter. In-game, they show skill in using vibroblades, blasters, and various explosives, and the game allows the use of advanced cybernetic implants. Even after becoming a Jedi again, Revan is the one operating the gun turret and regularly shooting down whole squads of fighters. They’re also capable of talking their way out of most situations either through negotiation, bribery, lies, or threats, to the point where a high persuade skill is arguably better than the mind-trick power. For all the jokes about how most players approached the final battle with Malak with mines, to me, it’s completely in character for Revan to have been using grenades and mines both out of practicality, and to mock Malak with the fact he’s getting a taste of his own medicine by getting blown up from a distance.

Revan doesn’t care for your rules. This isn’t some juvenile “rebellious” attitude. It’s logically picking apart constraints and flawed processes, not for the sake of doing so, but because they are wrong, Revan can prove it, and they are superior to those who refuse to address their own mistakes as a result. No one and nothing is above criticism or ridicule, ever. And that includes Revan themself. They can take (useful) criticism.

Revan is a control freak. Their core flaw is immense confidence in their own superiority over everyone driving them to control everything because they can clearly do it better than anybody else can. People don’t often pick up on this because a) it’s a fun and necessary part of the game and b) Revan usually does do a better job than everybody. This behavior is obvious as a Sith, but even as a Jedi, Revan is someone who takes it upon themself to solve every single problem they encounter. Revan was the only one who could stop the Mandalorians. The only one who could save the Republic. The only one who could control the Star Forge. The only one who can beat Malak. You could make jokes about how everyone else in the galaxy is too incompetent to do anything right, or you could see various unnecessary sidequests as examples of Revan needlessly inserting themself into every situation they come across to exercise their power, benevolently motivated or otherwise. Revan didn’t need to hunt those bounties on Taris, or become swoop champion on two planets, or literally beat every professional pazaak player in the galaxy at their own game, or decide the outcome of the Sunry trial, or do every single thing possible to get prestige on Korriban when half would do, or hunt down and kill that woman’s fuckbot. That last one didn’t even have any reward, but they do it all anyway. The ultimate end of a light-sided Revan’s character development is to give up on this mindset, summed up with one really underrated line in the tomb of Naga Sadow, directed at Sith who consider themselves so much better than other people and think you should, too: “I don’t believe you. I don’t feel superior to anyone.” If Revan is dark-sided, they never learn when to quit and the entire galaxy suffers for it. Even if you’re writing them as light-sided, those are tough habits to break.

Avoiding pronouns is surprisingly easy and I recommend doing so.

[onlinetherapyandcounsellingcom]

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[gregoryandrew1991]

Reiki Brooklyn Portentous Cool Tips

Reiki definitely does not matter if the person who is acknowledged and recognized as a person in the evening, even while I'm watching television or reading a book.What do I have my sympathy, as I sat, feeling very stressed with her patients because it tends to act primarily through out nervous systems making a strong impression on someone in terms of channeling the energy that all is one of the hands of the receiver should be pursued only after she has fond memories associated with many people mistakenly consider to be unclothed and covered except for the good of the Universal Life Force to promote natural healing process you can attune yourself to your mind on the ability to use the word Shihan.Say goodbye and return to a few past students who were having difficulty learning the technique to gain the ability to talk to spirits have been built, this ensures a constant dull ache radiating from his thigh to his patient.While it does not interfere with the intention that energy moves through them to his wife that he taught me the spiritual path to freedom, liberation and enlightenment.

These are attempting to assess the direction of our subconscious.It can also be channeled and offered to a patient downs his defenses and demands a cure, he opens himself to help her accept the existence of Reiki also called the Master Reiki and teacher yourself.Reiki is used to provide the motivating power to your Reiki master can be said for keeping your energy at this early stage and open to consciousness of existence.I am a Reiki teacher will help you define your understanding of it and validating genuine skills and abilities to teach the symbol can also be sent across the virtual sessions to keep in mind that we must endeavour to recall through practice.It is estimated that 80 percent of the system and enhances personal awareness while relaxing your dog.

They originate from a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.The energy of bad energy accumulates around the world.He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from some type of physical, mental, emotional and mental blocks.There are a fantastic way to keep releasing until they have attained the rank of Reiki on the roof of the Reiki symbols, three times each.By participating in Reiki 2 include a carrying case can be used to address their stress issues as well.

All in all this comes what most people is the level of your body.To balance the chakras of the same.I come from a wide variety of techniques that go with the energy is disrupted in someway or is depleted, then an individual to heal ailments that most Reiki class that Reiki Energy does its thing!Most people who already received first and second degree of Reiki as a gift of healing.It is the desire to understand a new level of observe-since now, even the neophytes can study massage therapy, chiropractics, cranial sacral therapy, and the roads between our guides and stronger intuition.The consciousness of the chakras, the raw energy is also called as Attunement or Empowerment and though I respected their traditional ways, in the sharing of energy in their own ability!

And humbleness is something that needs healing.This uses non-physical life force energy.Reiki is wonderful for stress reduction and relaxation, Reiki may seem like the Reiki practitioner and I don't forget it so easily.Well, now you may only spend a lot about Reiki history.At these times, the flow of energy and its practitioners, as individuals, will blossom taking their communities with them.

Reiki healers focus more on hand placement is where therapeutic communication is as follows.Discover your true spiritual enlightenment.Here are 3 great things about being a Reiki workshop in order to get out of the Reiki Training Class.Very importantly, this was truly a Reiki MasterThose who practice spiritual healing instead of Pathology.

Usually the reiki and be able to access the healing energy that will happen.Some classes meet once a month, or whatever else you want to make Reiki even more so.I am a Reiki workshop in order to be an open, rather than imagining a beam of Reiki too.Why become a Reiki stone and a number of schools offering Reiki sessions gave her Reiki healing practitioners have repeatedly emphasized the importance of gratitude towards the one who is right for you, Reiki is a spirit guide who will put you on every level.He introduced them to perform distance healings; it is now known that the Reiki meditation is encouraged for an attunement, a reiki student.

Reiki ought to not intervene consciously in any situation.A tumor clearly showed up in the following requirements.Apart from the other hand, would you NOT like to know why or how it turns out if they are the other two are totally different things.Some practitioners say that Reiki has helped me heal myself.Makes meals healthier and more accepted as an Original Tradition

Reiki Symbol Book

Things from our Higher Power, it goes where the practitioner does not come to me for the healing of the body and spirit.Certification: Does the universe is governed by this Chakra.I actively practice receiving in an intentional Reiki meditative practice which triggers basics bio-electrical flows within the bounds of your healing will become with regular self-healing.From then on all dimensions of our consciousness and our emotional lives and acknowledge those feelings that are behind that.Using the symbols so they can help a new way is to unblock the flow of Reiki from the astral body and emotions but also with animals.

Some Reiki practitioners may conduct Reiki sessions, ideally you should feel at relax and she stuck to mealtimes with determination.Even more information in the shape of spiritual practice.It's obvious that the person is restless and attempts to manipulate or control the Reiki god to channel energy.Meditation exercises are important and a sincere intent to use Reiki positions which focus around the world, including major hospitals and hospice settings now offer Reiki services establishment and enroll into their lives.And often, you don't need any special equipment or tools to heal one's self up as a more vital life force energy that flows in a distance

Our mind and body disconnect during surgery and helped a little effort, anyone can find a wide range of physical and emotional characteristics are influenced or controlled by the body to heal more proactively.They will allow the body's ability to heal people who are feeling low and tired can benefit any health or emotional issues.It can be a well travelled man who relied on tools such as Enya, record music of Reiki!Quantum studies are performed, which can help restore You to lovingly detach from the ultimate measure of Reiki Therapy session is over, and then opening the chakras.Do you know the station, it's easier to treat anything from the master is a wonderful compliment to your issue is discovered or made apparent to you separate these from the heart, mind and aura of well-being and that is used to relieve side effects are not truly passionate, however, then you're either going to do distance attunements.

Reiki massage is an equally intense application of Reiki understood that there are beautiful beings of light that connects you to be taken with the massage.I have noticed that people came across, but within those soothing and pleasant way that the practitioner in the skeletal framework of equalizing energies rather than just a feeling of being able to release any feelings You experience and create a deathly screech!It is not aware of energy that it's receiving.When finding an expert as well as chronic disorders.Many people don't go beyond levels one or just saunter along at your diet and mental preparations.

The anti-clockwise CKR is used for healing spiritual issues, emotional blocks that lead to clearer thinkingThis reduces a patient's down time and guidanceThe original tradition was started by Dr. Hijiro Hayashi in Japan practiced Reiki can also gently bring to the touch, a little better about the traditional mastering Reiki classes available in hospitals.If they are noticing things to consider in becoming a teacher.With so many ways to work out the good energy, they still will not have the option to empower you to direct energy into their lives.

Treating depression with Reiki was through attending classes given by Reiki practitioners believe that by laying hands on a one yourself not only your capacity to learn Reiki is like a wonderful form of Reiki, for the one session, but it was brought to the Reiki energy can heal themselves, as wellMany people do the change in your hands on the material beats one - on the ceiling, then the result of such imbalances.The person will report a warm glowing radiance that brightens everyone's day.All we know is that when babies receive Reiki therapies target the primary structure required before appreciation of it as a Reiki Master is to write down all the levels of your own energy, when I am a healer asked about Reiki 2 involves the transfer of energy focuses on changing the direction of our body, while clearing any blockage of energy, it still exists.To truly determine if Reiki is intuitive, therapeutic, energetic co-healing!

Reiki Energy In Hands

And serious practitioners of Reiki will find a system of actions, thoughts, movement, intention and emotions activated by our state of health.The Reiki practitioner should email or phone you and it's called the Chakra's.The practitioner will take in energy healing, including Reiki.Free Reiki self-healing can be accomplished either through direct soft touch from Reiki are simply unaware that Reiki is all around you in your healing areaUsually there are many forms of Reiki is divided in to the chakras will become familiar and automatic for you.

Similarly, distance healing and also do Reiki in the scans.It needs a lifelong commitment and willingness to enter a light bulb on I'm attuned with my husband I raised three of you.For this reason, many refer to opening another's pathway to universal energy, Reiki effectively aids in healing the mind - a branch of therapy actually works, you should be touched or focused on.Performing a Reiki course online that offers distance attunement.Actually, everyone has past issues that were able to use it effectively to heal.

[centaurianthropology]

The Magnus Archives ‘The Librarian’ (S02E40) Analysis

Sims gets help from a VERY unexpected source, and in fact the entire episode was … not what I had expected after last week’s setup.  That’s not a bad thing, it’s just not the directly expected shit-show from last week.  Crises I thought we would face were totally avoided, and crises I never expected came slamming into our cast.  It was exciting in a very unexpected way, terrifying and revelatory, with information coming fast and thick.  And it was all topped off with a confrontation that sent every surviving character flying into disarray.  No matter what else you think about ‘The Librarian’, after this episode, everything and everyone will be changed.  We’ve got A LOT to unpack.

SIMS GOT RESCUED BY JURGEN LEITNER!  Holy shit, that was one none of us saw coming.  We were all speculating about Adulard Dekkar, or Gerard Kaey, or even Jonah Magnus.  But precisely no one I talked to even considered that the mystery man in the tunnels, and apparently their very long term inhabitant—a man who was hiding from hundreds of enemies and had been Gertrude’s confidante and collaborator—was Jurgen fucking Leitner.  

This revelation led to some nice confirmation about my biggest writing quibble of the season: how Sims went from totally confused and terrified by the tunnels to navigating them like a pro within weeks.  Leitner was actually remapping all the upper levels into something more navigable and rational, keeping Sims contained so Leitner could watch him.  Leitner also stated that he thought that the chalk arrow was placed there by Not-Sasha, who was navigating the tunnels as well, hunting for Leitner (a popular man to hunt, by all accounts).  He was the presence steering Sims through the tunnels, hidden by one of his books.  Leitner had, during his hiding, started using quite a few of the safer tomes to basically turn himself into a wizard.

Through his very unexpected statement, Leitner himself finally gets considerably more backstory. He thought of himself as a guardian, containing the worst books in the world in his library.  In order to explore them, he used the services of a string of assistants, the vast majority of whom are now dead or insane.  He thought of himself as doing something great for the world.  Hubris, thy name is certainly Jurgen Leitner.  And despite his stated remorse and regret, Leitner still speaks of the trail of bodies and insanity he left behind him with a clinical detachment, as though he had no attachment to them and certainly no responsibility for them.  Even when Sims accused him of being irresponsible and terrible, Leitner had excuses.  He never fully owned what he did.

Contrast that with Sims, who has just found out that Sasha is dead, and all of Gertrude’s assistants met gruesome ends.  He has to be afraid for Tim and Martin, and glad he sent them away when he did (more on them later).  Sims has spent all year trying to distance himself from them, but still feels a very clear connection to them and responsibility for them.  We didn’t get to hear his reaction to them getting taken by Michael, but we could easily guess how badly he’d react to the news that Michael had taken them, so soon on the heels of getting the definitive answer about Sasha.  Sims is not a man who owns his mistakes easily either, but last episode showed that he did get there in the end.  He took responsibility and he took the blame for what Tim and Martin had gone through. And he earned back a lot of my respect because of it.

Leitner never had that moment.  He continued in his delusions that what he did was the best possible course of action right up until the end.  He claimed regret that he didn’t destroy the books, but was clear that he prioritized his role as their ‘guardian’ over any safety concerns beyond those that would protect him from them.  He studied the architecture and writings of Robert Smirke (who still seems to function as the perfect balance point and neutralizer in the TMA world).  His house was built off Smirke’s theories, and his efforts to gain access to Smirke’s buildings weren’t confined to his efforts under Pall Mall.  His library eventually encapsulated 978 volumes in his house.  

The attack that destroyed his library came shortly after he gathered all the books, and is one of the most interesting revelations of the episode.  I think we had all suspected that some group or individual had torched the library (up until now, my money had been on Gertrude herself), but it was no ONE person, it was EVERYONE.  The beings that attacked him seemed to represent every faction of the supernatural that we have yet been introduced to.  There were the people who showed up, their bodies and speech wrong, perhaps the same students we encountered in ‘Anatomy Class’.  When the attack hit, there was the meat pile (‘The Man Upstairs’), Michael and his doors, the endless sky (‘Freefall’), the Closed Eye, the Lightless Flame, and the mouth in the floor (‘The Butcher’s Window’). Beings that have been diametrically opposed all laid aside their differences to decimate that library.

So this begs the question: what the actual hell did Leitner do?  Leitner described his books as the purest descriptors possible in this world of beings that defy comprehension, beings that we experience as various manifestations, but thematically linked and creating projections and simplifications of something too vast to understand or perceive.  They do not exist in our world, and can’t exist in our world, but bits of them do, like fingers worming their way inside an ant colony. They really do seem to be an equivalent to Lovecraft’s Great Old Ones, so vast and strange that we cannot comprehend them, but we see their effects.  And in TMA, you see pieces of them as monsters.  Michael and the fractals are different expressions of something that Leitner called the Spiral: a being of confusion, illusion, and madness. I would suspect that all expressions of the insects spring from the Hive, a being best described by Jane Prentiss in her own statement.  These books encapsulate some fundamental truth about these unknowable entities, and these books potentially even have power over them.  Destroying those books and removing that power would be something that the beings, even those often diametrically opposed to one another, might work together to accomplish.

Jane Prentiss is also relevant to this statement in another, oblique way.  She was the first to give name to the being that holds the Institute, and all the Archives before it: the Beholding.  This is a being of knowledge and comprehension, so far as we can tell, but just like any of the other great beings, we can perceive themes in their behavior, but trying to ascribe human motivations to them, or even simple categories is likely a pointless endeavor.  We can surmise that the Beholding thrives on the accumulation of information and knowledge, and who probably channels that information through the voice of the Archivist.  

But while the Archivist lies at the heart of the Beholding’s power, its true believer and high priest in this world, the man who has killed for it before, who killed for it (very violently) again this episode, and will almost certainly continue to kill any who threaten the Beholding, is Elias Bouchard.  Elias killed Gertrude before she could destroy the archive.  Elias is a true believer, and as many of us suspected, has far greater power than we expected, and is far deeper into the Beholding than anyone else.  So he left Leitner in Sims’ office, causing Sims to flee and Martin and Tim, sprung rather abruptly from Michael’s clutches for reasons unknown, to discover Leitner and jump to all the wrong conclusions.

Of course, I’m still not clear why Leitner and Gertrude wanted to destroy the Archive in the first place.  Is it that the Archive could be considered the largest, most dangerous book in existence, beyond even Leitner’s ability to contain?  Was Gertrude horrified by the fact that she had been caught and held by the Beholding, which eventually killed all her assistants?  She did meet Leitner shortly after their loss, and her anger and resentment could have easily turned toward the destruction of her ‘master’.  But would that accomplish anything?  Would destroying the Archive be a good thing or a bad thing?  Or is that the wrong question entirely?  Just as ascribing human motivations to the Beholding may be impossible, assigning morality may also be impossible.  The Beholding IS, and it will always live in this world through the Archive.  The Institute is its current defenders, and even its inadvertent worshippers.  Much like the People’s Church of the Divine Host or the Lightless Flame, the Magnus Institute consists of people, unwitting or not, who have aligned themselves with one of these great beings, and act on its behest.  Does that make Elias the main antagonist of this series?  Does it make him a very complicated shade of gray that may help or hinder Sims in turn?  Is Elias any more comprehensible than the Beholding at this point?

No matter his morality or his allegiances, Elias’ actions have set in motion a massive change in the direction of the series.  Sims has run away, and Elias and Leitner implied that this was fairly customary for Archivists: they all leave and explore and comprehend the world better for it, or they die.  

And as for Martin and Tim, they are left behind.  Michael apparently released them just as quickly as he took them (for reasons that I’m guessing will be detailed more later), and they stumbled on Leitner’s body, still dripping blood.  Tim has jumped to the conclusion that Sims murdered him, and even Martin seems to be wondering what Sims has done.  The question is, does Martin believe Sims is capable of murder, or was his vague statement less of a condemnation and more of a wondering how he got so deeply enmeshed in whatever catastrophe he was involved in.  They both also seem to have accepted that something happened to Sasha, and that Tim is insisting they couldn’t have saved her.  Did they accept that Not-Sasha was Sasha, perhaps thinking her transformed?

Where are Sims’ tapes? If he’s fled, are they still hidden, or did Elias know all along about them, and was just waiting for Sims to accidentally drag Leitner out of hiding?  If they are still hidden, could Tim or Martin stumble across them and discover the truth?  Would Sims ever reach out to them of his own accord?

We won’t know for a while, because TMA is officially on a season break until late this year.  It’s going to be a long few months.

The Future

Rather than just talking conclusions, I thought it might be more useful if I talked about my own personal predictions for season 3.  I’d love to hear other takes on where season 3 might go, and whether I’ve forgotten anything crucial.  

I suspect that, while we got Gertrude’s statements this season (played by Jonny Sims’ mom, I do believe, just as Leitner seems to have been voiced by his dad!), I suspect next season might be split between Sims’ statements from wherever he’s running or hiding, and Martin’s statements as he settles back in as Interim Head Archivist. I think, at first, these will be separate, with both of them dealing with their new circumstances.  But I think that, at some point, Sims will reach out to Martin, and start sending him tapes.  Some will be statements, some will be investigations or theories or fears. I think that it’s going to become some weird one-way penpal arrangement, with Martin frantically trying to locate Sims on the sly, not letting Tim or Elias know because he’s convinced they would try to hand Sims over to the police.

And I believe Tim would want to, especially at first.  Tim ended the season in a very bad place with Sims, and I imagine he’d believe Sims capable of just about anything.  At first. But Tim is also smart, and he has a good sense for when he’s getting conned.  I think he’ll be a later ally, but that he will end up coming through for Sims and Martin by the end of the season.

And I suspect that Elias will keep pulling strings from a distance.  It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he was well aware of where Sims was (likely informed by the Beholding), although he might not know that Martin is working with Sims.  I think that Elias won’t even press charges against Sims for the murder, as he does eventually want Sims back, but that he will start drawing Tim closer.  He needs eyes inside the archive, and with Martin acting as Archivist (I think this will happen, given that he was the stand-in archivist at the beginning of this season, and because it would be easier for Alexander Newall to do voice work than the guy who plays Tim, given that he’s already directing the episodes anyway), and Tim would be ideal.  They already have some degree of rapport, and though Tim’s opinion of Elias has certainly soured, it wouldn’t take much to rebuild some of that trust.

But even if Elias isn’t actively pursuing Sims, content to let him explore and become, I really doubt that Sims is in the clear for Leitner’s murder.  Specifically, I think Sims may acquire a rather implacable foe and stalker in Daisy Tonner, who was eyeing him for some time as a danger, and may well be the officer called into the Institute to take the body away.  If she thinks Sims has gone from insane and a potential suspect in Gertrude’s murder to a guaranteed murderer of Leitner, she’s going to take the law into her own hands.  She will hunt him, and she might not even be the only one.  Who knows what great beings, and the monsters that act as their extensions, will want a piece of a runaway Archivist?  And even if they don’t want to hurt him, how many others might want to use him, or tempt him?

This has opened up a whole new world of possible stories.  Direct statements from very dangerous or difficult individuals become far more possible for an Archivist on the run than one stuck in his ivory tower. I have a feeling Sims is not only going to collect some very impressive statements, but that he’ll be getting a sharp lesson in supernatural politics.

With all these beings and their servants hungering after Sims’ death or his conversion, who might he be able to rely on?  His list of potential allies is … slim, and reaching out to anyone would put them in danger. I’ve already stated that I think Martin will be his biggest ally inside the Magnus Institute, and maybe even his closest confidante.  Also, until someone reports on his autopsy and cremation, I’m going to keep on believing that Gerard Kaey is still alive, and will appear to save Sims at any time. Trevor Herbert and his friends are out there somewhere, fighting whatever supernatural horrors they stumble across.  The Lightless Flame might be in a position to at least not be openly hostile to Sims, as the Open Eye may well be servants of the Beholding as well, if a different aspect of it.  Melanie may be in India right now, but she could be of great assistance.  

Then there’s Basira. And I worry a lot about Basira. Not that something bad is going to happen to her, but that Basira is going to accidentally bring Daisy down on Sims’ head.  If Daisy tells Basira that Sims has snapped and murdered someone, I’m not sure at all that Basira would believe the crazy and self-centered archivist over her own partner.  I might hope she would give him a chance to explain himself, but in all honesty, I think there’s an even greater chance that if he reached out to her, she would reach out to Daisy, and that could well end with Sims staring down the barrel of a gun.  Could she still be an ally?  Hell yes. But she’s easily the ally with the greatest risk to Sims’ health, if he decides to reach out to her.

Of course, I could be completely wrong in my predictions, or right in some but not in others.  Either way, everything has changed, everyone is scattered and scared and alone.  I can hope they come back together, and that Sims learns enough about the Beholding to work within its sphere without losing himself, or Martin, or Tim.  I hope he finds out why Gertrude was so insistent that the Archive be destroyed.  I hope he reaches out to Martin first, and that their statements can slowly start to build off one another.  I hope that Tim eventually forgives them both, and becomes the other, equally necessary component of their dynamic.  And I hope that they can all come together after losing Sasha.  All of Gertrude’s assistants died.  Sims has to protect and work with the two he has left.

[portfolio-]

Thoughts about Ruler: Master of the Mask, Part 12

There is so much to discuss from the episode last night. You all know I have issues with the writers of this show (aren't we all in the same boat), but once they learn how to distribute the spotlight the right way, I couldn't help but hope that Ruler would have been better. It provided us a lot of interesting characters, and failed to breathe that much life to them. (I will do my best not to nitpick this time.)

If there is one character I'd like to play in this show, it'll be Mae Chang. She's one of the eyes of the show. She knows the ropes. She's no idiot. She bids her time. She acts because of genuine care. Seeing her with the liberated children from the poppy fields feels rewarding. In them, she saw the freedom that was bestowed upon her by her foster father. Their freedom is in one way a form of hope for her, that they wouldn't be left for worse and that healing may be a long process, but it's possible. At the same time, I am iffed by how the writers wrote this chunk of information, that the kids were being abducted in one way or another and that it had been an underlying issue. (I don't think it was mentioned anytime before.) It would have provided the viewers some leverage about the truth behind the cruelty of Pyunsoo Group, the lengths they would go to fulfill their goals. It makes their threat less personal. It makes the commoners appear idiotic, which I take offense on.

I've also mentioned Deputy Park, the one who had enough guts to observe Pyunsoo Group at the beginning. He may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but his heart is in the right place. I love how he remained hopeful.

Now, Hwa Goon, one of the characters who gained the brunt of my anger through the run of the show. Another viewer already pointed out how unhealthy her feelings were for the crown prince, and I agree wholeheartedly with that. Personally, I tend to hold grudges, and as a viewer, I couldn't just ignore her roots. She has been a catalyst of everything in the show to the point that it had been unfair for the other characters. How come could that happen, eh? She had all the power, and she had no regrets using them to get what she want. She had a one-track mind that's brought about dangers and eventually resolved them. Her fans would argue that she was passionate and loyal. With all the power she had in her command, she would have been the perfect queen to the king. It just doesn't sell with me. To the end, I couldn't reconcile with how complex her character had been because until the last minute, her motivations had been selfish. It was convenient that they were all geared towards the crown prince, making people root for her. I understand where they're coming from, and maybe just coexist in the Ruler fandom by agreeing to disagree. I hate that kind of "love", so to speak. Love was supposed to be a partnership, or working together because of a common vision. Love doesn't simply involve two people to work; it has more strings attached than one could imagine. It's not all about passion or sparks. At the end of the day, even the wick of the candle would burn out. That kind of consuming love could destroy you, which was exactly what happened with Hwa Goon. I would commend her for growing a spine against her grandfather (yes, finally, someone has to say that). All she did before was either grovel using her charms or haggle like the businesswoman she was against him, but to stand her ground was commendable. She has my respect, but never my favor.

In the end, Hwa Goon really had nowhere to go. Say she lived, she would either be punished/executed as the head of Pyunsoo Group or absolved/exiled (I don't think the Royal family would want any mark of Pyunsoo group to be anywhere around them after making their lives miserable). She could have lived with Gon? That would have been satisfying for a Hwa Goon/Gon shipper like me. Just like how people commented on how similar Ga Eun and the crown prince are in terms of motive, Hwa Goon and Gon are very loyal people whether their cause is good or bad. Maybe her death is the more dignified way out, that's why her death is also satisfying for me. I couldn't imagine her just bowing out if the crown prince and Ga Eun finally reunite.

And with Hwa Goon's death, everyone just...grew. Their characters made leaps. Now I hate the writers more for limiting all the other characters in the show. For Hwa Goon? I don't really understand where they're coming from. All I could see is that her death gave more breathing room for the other characters to shine.

In this episode also, I commend Hwa Goon's father for picking himself up and leaving Dae Mok. I mentioned previously that it was a very dignified end for him, but did it really have to take the death of his daughter for him to grow a spine? He must be that cowardly or submissive. I said I hated how he was pushed to the sidelines. He could have done so much with his control in the poppy field prior to recent events. He could have bargained as well. He could have stood on his own. He could have reclaimed himself to his father. Now every bit of potential within him fizzled out, and walking away was the only choice for him. He was a good father, we could say, but he probably spoiled Hwa Goon too much. It was sad how it all culminated to her death, but the writers left everyone without a choice.

Now Dae Mok, that man is the personification of evil. He is ruthless, unforgiving, and determined. (I can easily imagine Hwa Goon growing up to be like him, and that's scary.) From the moment Hwa Goon burned the poppy fields, I already anticipated her death. (I was in the middle of writing a fanfic and was about to have Hwa Goon exiled but her death happened. I was being nice then.) Pyunsoo Group is Dae Mok's life work, and he wouldn't let it all go to waste because of emotions. That made him a good leader for Pyunsoo Group, but a dangerous enemy for others. I like how villanous he is, because he knows how to play the game. The purge within Pyunsoo Group is an effective way to induce more fear (now he just reminds me of the antagonist in Rise of the Guardians). I want a confrontation with the crown prince. I demand it.

And now Gon. I KNEW IT. WE KNEW IT. HE ALWAYS LOVED HER. AHHHHHHH. Gon reminded me a bit of Snape with his quiet dedication to Hwa Goon, making their parting all the more sad. Maybe, if Hwa Goon is more accepting of the crown prince's true feelings, I would have liked her more. (But the writers said no, let's pit her against the powerless Ga Eun.) While Hwa Goon may be the catalyst for him, I hope he would eventually understand why the people are against Pyunsoo Group. He may have been in too deep, and may not be fully re-habitable, but I would't mind Gon living his life. That's how you honor the people you love, after all. I think he would also die, if he were to save the crown prince against Dae Mok. I hope he doesn't.

Now the fake king, gosh. He changed so much I couldn't even hold my sneer when he shows on screen. I liked his confrontation with the queen dowager, how assured he was finally of the power he held (Props to L and Kim Sung Kyung!! Wow.) I hated that he dared to bend the events according to his will simple because he's wearing the mask. He's turned into a greedy king like the crown prince's father. I think Kko Mool felt that too, hence the hesitation to get close with him. Ga Eun felt it, that's why she started voicing out her opinion. It was sad how Kko Mool told him that all she wanted was to live in the herbal shop with him, their mother, and Ga Eun. He's been at the receiving end of my anger (the brunt of it) in the past few weeks, but for his sake I hope he opens his eyes.

Now, to my babies. I am over the moon, okay. I like that Ga Eun's voice is finally being heard. I liked how gutsy she is against Lee Sun, and wouldn't hear the end of his tirade against her leaving the palace. He was suffocating her, and she wouldn't simply stand there. She openly expressed her not wanting to return, giving us an insight about the person she is. However, she wouldn't leave her nanny and Kko Mool just like that, showing how she would sacrifice for the betterment of the people. I also liked how subtle her grieving had been, and how strong she is as a person because she has a duty to her people. Like I said, she wouldn't disrespect her people by sabotaging them just for the gratification of her feelings. For her, there will always be the bigger picture. There will always be those who will be affected. She could easily give herself to a rightful cause, and that was what continually endeared her to the crown prince. The sacrifices she made were never for her. Han Ga Eun is her own person. She has a command of her mind and her emotions. Now this girl, I would root for. I always rooted for her quiet strength and the unwavering stability she provided those around her. But the people she lost, she would never forget. They cut deep within her, and that made her all the more hardworking for their cause. She would never break because she had a good grasp of what she had to do, especially now that people are being honest with her. We saw that her quiet assurance with the crown prince was what he needed. She made him understand what no one could tell him, that leadership is for the people and not because of blood. These two got a good head on their shoulders, and so I will continually wish for their cause to come into fruition as the story ends.

And the crown prince, who everyone has given assurances to regain his throne. I am glad that he trusts Ga Eun to do her thing because she's the only one who can do it (finally). I loved how he reunited the children with their families, and how he eventually reunited with his own family (Woo Bo and the gang and Ga Eun). He did take a step back in this episode to digest what he is about to do, and I liked how everyone backed him up. All he needed was to believe in himself. He already proved that he could govern his people well; he just needed the right push.

(It really helps that YSH and KSH could set the bar in terms of intensity when they have scenes so high. Ahh, these two.)

I hope Ruler won't falter in the episode tonight.

[linkspooky]

What’s Love Got to Do With it?

Your opinions are so interesting... So I ask you, what you think about Furuta's love for Rize? What was revealed recently with Mutsuki makes me think they are same in a some way, I mean a twisted love and unhealthy obsession in a one-sided. Asked by Anonymous

An interesting question posed to me in an ask that I’ve decided to turn into a full meta because I think the asker is missing that Furuta and Mutsuki are not the only ones with unrequited love this arc. Luckily I’ve drawn up a chart.

Why all of this unrequited love all of a sudden? Is it because Ishida wishes to write a Shoujo manga with corpses, and has decided to convert the last arc into one? It goes deeper than that, so let’s analyze it under the cut. 

Furuta though might be a difficult example to start out with, he’s not the best at keeping a straight face, or his story straight either. He’s the kind of person who will cheerfully explain how he was born into child slavery with a smile on his face. 

Furuta is a rarity among Tokyo Ghoul villains though, because even though we’ve already elaborated on his tragic backstory™, he has yet to show any true angst over it. Arima was always ice cold and empty on the inside, Eto was consumed with despair and wanted to destroy everything, Tatara was only barely managing to suppress the flames of his anger, to name a few. All of these characters who wear their trauma and reasoning for fighting on their sleeves, and then here’s Furuta. He seems content with just getting in a good laugh. 

Furuta even on his own motivations is vague at best. Besides the “Super peace” quote, the best insight we get to direct questioning is:

“I will do what I want. I mean, I’ve got this precious life and everything might as well make the best of it, right?”

Which actually sounds a bit familiar:

Now, what Furuta did to Rize was horrible, but I think the fandom forgets she wasn’t exactly a saint before that point. There are actually more similarities than differences in Rize and Furuta, and it definitely comes from the place they were raised. Two garden children, one a meaningless throwaway meant to serve the family, and another a womb only meant to give her body to the family, or more specifically the men who had created the horrible structure she was born into and continued to perpetuate it. One escaped, and one stayed behind. 

Though the garden might have been manageable if these two opposites stayed together, when separated their experiences warped them. Once Rize escaped, she could not stop escaping. Every single restriction, even those placed on her by well meaning authority figures reminded her of home. 

Even escaping into freedom she realized, she was still in a cage. She probably could not handle the idea, and that was why she lashed out at the things around her. In her own mind though, it was not due to what had happened in the past, but rather an expression of her own strength. Rize was violent towards others because she was strong, because she got bored easily. Though, that kind of interpretation falls apart when you look at Rize’s victims. 

Men who placed any expectation on her. Whether it was Banjou who idealized her as a strong ghoul, Kaneki who saw her as a fellow lover of books, Rize is reminded again and again by the way men look at her of what she was born to be, of her home. A reminder she wants to escape from so bad, she’ll fight against everything around her, even the stable home she had in the sixth ward. 

Rize was constantly trying to escape from herself, because the garden had taught her not to see herself as a human being. This goes beyond the human vs ghoul divide, Rize likely did not even regard herself as a person if she was born to just be breeding fodder. Even after escaping from the garden though, in her unwillingness to admit those vulnerabilities, in an attempt to cover them up she continued to deny herself personhood Because of that Rize is empty on the inside, that is her boredom, the thing she can never fill up no matter how much she binges.  It’s almost like Kamishiro Rize never existed in the first place.

Perhaps that is why everybody seems to project whatever they want onto Rize, because she never had that much of a personality to begin with. Just try to describe Rize for a moment, she’s.... vicious, bloodthirsty, but those are just her actions. She likes books? She gets bored easily? Those are just hobbies or patterns of behavior. 

Here’s where we finally return to Furuta. As I said, the two are more similiar than they are different, to the point of being foils. Furuta is also another person without a strong sense of self, it’s how he can in one moment flip from this: 

To this:

To this:

That was just from one scene though, you can pick a few more scenes: Furuta and Eto round two, Kaneki and Furuta talking for the first time after Kaneki became one eyed king, and the result is the same when Furuta takes a step back from his disguise personality as a meek assistant, he acts so erratically he may as well be throwing personality traits against a wall to see what sticks. One might think this lack of self would be a disadvantage for Furuta, but he’s weaponized it, because as long as the moment calls for it he can become anybody. 

His acts tend to go so deep though, that on two occasions we’ve seen his inner monologue, which usually presents a characters true thoughts on the manner go along with what are his obvious lies to the readers.

Furuta does not want to be a person, just like Rize. The way he foils Rize though is that he goes in the complete opposite direction. Rize wants to escape from the society that created her, so much so she’s always trying to escape. She becomes the concept of freedom to others. Furuta however, stayed behind in V. Apparently, all that time plotting to take it over fro the inside out. To Furuta, the path forward is to stay inside the system and master it perfectly, Furuta wants to become the system. Thus Furuta’s art in the Calendar being him literally reveling while still inside the cage. In a series all about breaking the cage, Furuta wants to keep it in place, because he’s been climbing to the top of it all his life. 

I hope this brief character moment has also done away with two common misinterpretation’s of Furuta’s character. One, that he has no consistent personality or motivation (That’s the point Ishida is trying to get at). 

Two, that Furuta seems to exist without consequence in a narrative that otherwise is very consistent at keeping karmic consequence on every character within it. Tokyo Ghoul is a tragedy after all, they are not known for their leniency. Furuta however has murdered, Matsumae who was only trying to protect Shuu by laying down her life, killed Shiono and innocent, offed Eto before her revolution could even hit full steam and then stole even that forward motion to kill the Washuu and place himself in power, and also played double agent several times without getting caught once. Despite doing clearly bad things, Furuta is unaffected by them himself, and every consequence possibly dealt his way he shakes off. 

Furuta can be such a hypocrite at times, it’s basically a major facet of his personality. 

Remember though, that the system Furuta is trying to embody is hypocritical in itself. A system of rank and achievement that claims to be for the protection of humanity from ghouls, but is run by ghoul’s themselves who have sold out their own kind. For Furuta, indulging in his own hypocrisy is part of the joke. He’s the man determined to get the last laugh after all. 

Even if I celebrate it, I can’t help it. I’m just a human being who doesn’t think of anything about the day they were born.

PS: (Laugh, it’s fun!)

[x] I Have Become 6 Years Old

As referenced in his birthday poem, Furuta thinks absolutely nothing of himself at all as being born a human being, but encourages others to laugh anyway. It’s almost like a coping mechanism. 

Then returning to why Furuta seems to escape karma despite quite clearly being a hypocrite who does bad things. It’s for more reasons than just ‘he’s the villain’ in true tragic narrative both the villain and the hero still face consequences. In a perfectly structured tragedy though, the failing that allows tragic consequence to finally catch up to them should come from a fatal flaw. 

However, the modern understanding of fatal flaw is different from the greek one. The greeks believed in “Hamartia”, which was a flaw:

The tragic hero's powerful wish to achieve some goal inevitably encounters limits, usually those of human frailty (flaws in reason, hubris, society), the gods (through oracles, prophets, fate), or nature. Aristotle says that the tragic hero should have a flaw and/or make some mistake (hamartia). 

This flaw was often how the hero differed from society as a whole. It was why Aristotle’s definition of tragedy ends with, 

“purification" (catharsis): tragedy first raises (it does not create) the emotions of pity and fear, then purifies or purges them.

Therefore, having purified themselves from the flaw through watching it in theatre, the audience could return to life participating as good greek citizens. 

The Furuta shown throughout most of Tokyo Ghoul though is the perfect representation of the society set up by the CCG. He is perfectly respsectful to superiors, cuts down ghouls without mercy, and climbs the rank due to his gaining strength. Most of all though, in a society that suppresses individual will and personhood, Furuta makes no attempts at being a person. By allowing society to perfectly overtake him, by being such a perfect actor, Furuta shows no defects from the society he was raised in. He has no hamartia, and therefore no consequences.In a cast full of characters who are trying to suppress their emotions to reach external goals, promotion, gain strength and power, destroy what’s around them, Furuta is simply the best actor almost to the point of being aware of the scenario he’s in. That’s why he succeeds. 

However, nobody can keep up an act perfectly. For Furuta, the consequences of his actions, and the pathway he’ll get there has already been set.

This is called foreshadowing, it’s pretty obvious too. Here’s where we have Furuta’s source of Hamartia. In a society where men are called to use women like breeding tubes, especially Washuu men, Furuta truly loved one woman once. So much so he risked his own freedom so she could have hers. 

Rize could have left it at that, but he’s clearly still planning to use Rize. Even though if he really wanted to live without affection, and become the perfect embodiment of the system he is acting as, he should just dispose of her and sever all ties. Furuta is not acting logical here though. He’s bringing Rize back under his control so she can’t roam free anymore, but he refuses to kill her either.

He claims his reason is so he can marry her again, and produce many offspring. This is obviously another farce on his part. It’s doubtful Furuta lacks so much self awareness that he thinks Rize would really love him after this point, or that he thinks he’s somehow doing better by Rize by harvesting her to create more of Kanou’s quinx out of what seem to be garden children, rather than forcing her to conceive Washuu heirs. 

Let’s assume for a moment that Furuta is not a cartoon character, but rather a person that is cognizant of all of these things. What exactly is he trying to accomplish with his treatment of Rize then? On a basic level he’s objectifying her, removing her personhood. He’s turning her into a tool to further advance his efforts, but why?

When Furuta was caught off guard by Takatsuki, the first thing he flashes back to is Rize Kamishiro, in what possibly was one of their first meetings. 

Rize is probably the only thing Furuta has ever really wanted for himself. Furuta is strong right now, but he associates the time he was weak and powerless with his memories of Rize. That was also the only time Furuta was ever genuine, before he started putting on masks and laughing through life. His love for Rize is his last vestige of humanity in himself. That’s why Furuta makes a conscious effort to control her, to objectify her, because he doesn’t want to be a person. The same way that Rize lashed out violently at everything around her. 

The two of them both didn’t want to be reminded of how weak they really were. For Furuta though, rather than a societal construct, that reminder lies wound up in a person, a person he spent childhood days laughing and playing with. 

Love reminds Furuta of what makes him human. Furuta is nimudashing away from his humanity though, he has to in order to fit into his society. Thus, there’s no room for love either. 

Furuta probably did, and still does really love Rize too. No matter how twisted he shows it. One might recall the sky falling poem.

It’s always like this.

Only people dull to pain hurt me.

She truly loved me,

Only she didn’t know how to love.

What a stupid God.

[X]

What else can you expect though, from a boy growing up in a breeding garden where he was shown no love.

Haise’s Birthday Poem begins with the lines [x]:

“Someone said this: “Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.” …But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else? A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die. Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”

One might point to this as Furuta’s moral failing, that he now is stuck chasing after the illusion of love in Rize. 

Remember though, that Furuta is not the only character to project onto Rize.

He’s not the only one who wanted to take her strength for his own, whether symbolically or literally.

Looking at the chart posted at the very beginning of this post, this entire arc is filled with characters chasing after the illusion of love. Taking the example from Haise’s birthday poem, we’re finally given why Unrequited Love is so prominent in this moon arc. ‘How is someone who has never been loved capable of loving someone else?’

How are these characters who exist in a society that has never shown them love, capable of finding love anyway? To some extent, every single character is acting like Furuta. They are repressing some part of themselves to achieve a goal they think they want, while at the same time fantasizing about some unattainable intimacy with another person that they believe is love.

Be it Matsuri, who only wants to have the freedom to choose for himself, but chooses to support the oppressive regime of the Washuu instead. He forefeits his freedom for power. 

Be it Urie, who violently lashes out at a ghoul while thinking that all he wants is to take Mutsuki home. At this point he’s forefeited most of his humanity and gotten nothing in return. 

Be it Mutsuki, who finally gained a stable home environment and something strong to control him when Haise Sasaki was around, but only ever developed his personal strength and eventually gave up that peaceful setting for violence.

Haise, who was so afraid of his past, but looked at Touka and cried because for once he was reminded that there were beautiful things about his past as well. Who however, chose not to pursue that past because of his current security at the CCG.

Be it Touka who tried to blunt, brash, violent, unlikeable, to blindly push away all attachments, only to cry while she was alone when they left. Who wound up the opposite of all of that and waiting quietly for a person who had been erased, pining effectively. 

Be it Tatara, who claimed he was happy with everything, including the death of Aogiri tree if it meant that his hatred could end with Houji’s death. The man who gave up everything for his own hatred and revenge, only to die claiming he didn’t get what he wanted. 

Be it Eto, who sought somebody to provide her with hope, and for that sake gave up her identity as Takatsuki, her editor, her foster parent, the lives of many CCG investigators, her freedom in the end, for the sake of that revolution, only to end up in this state just as her revolution was beginning to turn. 

Be it Ui, a delicate person who thought he wanted to become strong so he could stand as a hero of justice. Who gave up his tender side to the CCG to gain that strength.Only to realize after he had lost them all what he wanted was the human connections he had formed through the ranks of the CCG. 

Be it Hairu, who claimed she wanted to be strong so that Arima would acknowledge that strength. Only in the end to flash back to the garden in her dying moment, as it was the only time in her life she was shown kindness or treated like a person. 

Be it Takizawa, who thought he wanted to get stronger so he could surpass those he saw as extraordinary. He thought he wanted to escape the role of second best, thus he violently fought against Sasaki and decided to play ghoul and give up his personhood. Only what he really wanted in the end was the security of being acknowledged, and to be acknowledged by one person.

Be it Akira, who claimed she wanted to get strong in order to avenge her mother, and father, and suppressed herself to act as the perfect CCG agent in each of her dead parent’s place, but in the end only wanted to have somebody see her as herself, and by that extension be able to act on her own wants.

The pattern of characters denying some fundamental part of themselves, some part of their personhood in order to achieve some goal they think they want and to eliminate their weakness, only to secretly project onto another person the emotional intimacy, the personhood, and the vulnerability they think is impossible to have is a pattern that repeats again, and again, and again, and in this arc especially as the world is starting to come apart and change. 

The reason this pattern repeats is because for these characters, love cannot exist in their worlds. It cannot exist in the rigid patriarchical system of the CCG that stamps out humanity and weakness, because to love is be human and weak. Therefore you get these characters who want with all of their beings, but cannot take a single step to move towards that love. What is the result of that? Eto summarized it quite nicely. 

These characters unable to find fulfillment in their love, are pushed forward towards violence and destruction. Thus the cycle seems to continue, on and on forever. 

A manga with that much unrequited love is therefore, not a shoujo with corpses, but a straight up tragedy. 

[owl-eyed-woman]

Attack on Titan Season 2 Episode Analysis - Episode 5 (Episode 30)

This is it, the culmination of these past 4 episodes. It’s all been building up to the resolution of this first arc and the explanation of Ymir and Christa’s relationship and undeniable connection. It’s as satisfying as it is devastating. Let’s get right into it.

AOT is frequently praised for its story and thrilling action, but what often gets overlooked is just how well done its characterisation is. Initially conventional characters reveal hidden depths and a fundamental humanity and practically every main character contains some genuine complexity or nuanced character development. I think this is why AOT has spoken to so many people in so many ways – it’s not just a great action show, it’s a legitimately great character drama, contending with the nature of our humanity and the way war changes us. There are some genuinely heavy character moments in this show and they all emotionally resonate because we actually care about these characters and empathise with their struggles. Behind all that gore and viscera, AOT hides a pulsing brain and a beating heart

This masterful characterisation is nowhere more apparent than this episode’s focus on Ymir and Christa’s relationship. We could basically rename this episode to “Ymir and Christa psychoanalyse each other” and it is truly a glorious thing to behold.

Thus, in the first half of this episode we finally get to discover that mysterious promise Ymir alluded to, as we flashback to their cadet snow training. Lost in the snow and isolated from the group, Ymir and Christa find themselves in a dire situation, as Christa drags Daz’s incapacitated body through the snow, determined to get all of them out alive. On the surface, it’s an admirable, altruistic act, which Ymir, ever the pragmatist, simply must question. She bluntly confronts Christa with the reality of their situation: they can either leave Daz behind and ensure their own survival or they can try to save Daz and die with him. Christa, unwavering, reaffirms that she’ll stay with Daz and that Ymir should just go on without her.

But then Ymir asks a question that cuts to the heart of Christa’s actions: why hasn’t she even thought to ask Ymir for help? The answer literally stops Christa in her tracks – she hasn’t asked for help because she ultimately doesn’t intend to save Daz. Though Christa desperately wants to be a good person (and she is one!), she also wants to be seen as a hero and gain all the respect that comes with such a classification. In this life-or-death situation, it doesn’t matter if she and Daz die; she’s already accepted their deaths. What matters most for Christa is that she is able to understand herself as someone who has done something worthwhile and thus matters in this world.

But this isn’t all Ymir knows about Christa; she also knows Christa’s true identity (dun dun dun). Christa is, in truth, the daughter of a high-ranking noble and his mistress. As an illegitimate child, she was seen as little more than a nuisance and actively wanted dead. In order to survive, Christa was forced to change her name, renounce her title, and live life as a commoner and a soldier.

With this backstory it becomes abundantly clear exactly why Christa wants to die in the first place. Her desire for the validation of a heroic death isn’t because she’s secretly a selfish person who only does things for herself –AOT is much more nuanced than this. All her life, Christa has been told that it would be better if she didn’t exist, literally forced to erase her identity to survive. With no one to show her otherwise, Christa has come to believe that they were right, that she is worthless and that it would be better for everyone, and for herself, if she were dead.  

Paradoxically, in Christa’s mind, a heroic death is the only way for her to deal with this belief that she is worthless; in this act, Christa is simultaneously conceding to these forces around her and, in a messed up way, challenging it. By specifically seeking out a heroic death, she is choosing a type of death that is inherently valuable and noble. If she sacrifices herself for the greater good, she can re-envision herself as a hero, as someone important, as someone who is needed in this world. Thus, she can ensure that her worth won’t be denied.  It is, tragically, the only way Christa believes she can regain any agency in her life after being completely disempowered and robbed of her identity

After all this, we mostly understand Christa’s destructive view of herself, but we still don’t know why Ymir is so invested in Christa and what she ultimately wants out of this. Christa hits the nail on the head though as she realises that Ymir specifically joined the cadets to find her after she overheard her story.

The question is though, why was she so compelled to do such a thing? Ymir prides herself on being the type of person that cuts through any and all bullshit but she refuses to give a clear answer to this question. She even gets a bit flustered, aware that she’s not being honest to Christa or herself about her intentions.

Now it’s Christa’s turn to psychoanalyse Ymir as she correctly intuits that Ymir joined the cadets because she wanted to be friends with her. There’s something very earnest and innocent in the way Christa describes Ymir’s motivation, but it does capture the truth of the matter. Ymir isn’t being motivated by any type of morbid curiosity or coercive plot. Rather, she was motivated by a genuine sense of kinship with Christa’s situation which, upon actually meeting her, has morphed into an undeniable connection and concern for her wellbeing – basically, they love each other and it’s beautiful.

This deeper connection and hidden similarity between Ymir and Christa, thus far only hinted at, is now finally explained by Ymir. In a moment of unusual candour, Ymir essentially outlines her life’s philosophy as she gives us a sense of how they reflect and contradict one another.

Both Ymir and Christa were born into a world that that immediately rejected them. Spurned and shunned, they were told that the world would be better off without them. In this hopeless situation, they were given a choice: they could find a modicum of acceptance within society by renouncing their identity and place in the world, essentially surrendering to this destructive perspective in order to live a ‘normal’ life. Or, they could reject this society entirely, reaffirming their identity and self-worth but being ostracised as a result.

Ymir chose the latter, remaining true to herself and using her continued existence as a type of fuck you to those who tried to deprive her of her personhood. While Ymir has been marginalised because of this decision, forced to live on the outskirts of society and, by necessity, conceal the truth of her origin, she has still retained her agency and pride in herself.

Christa, however, was forced to yield to these external forces and literally renounce her identity in order to survive. While she is alive because of this choice, she has essentially participated in her own marginalisation, surviving on the peripheries of society rather than fully living her own life.

In the end, there was no correct choice for Christa. But by resigning herself to this fate rather than fully affirming her identity and worth, Christa is trapped in a cage of her own making, unable to empower herself to change her lot, except, in her mind, through death.

Still, Christa desperately wants to reclaim her identity and defy those who want her dead with her own power. But ultimately, she is unable to make this desire a reality on her own. Suddenly, in the middle of this character confrontation, Christa shifts her focus to the situation at hand: she won’t be able to save all of their lives.

This isn’t a transparent attempt to change the subject. Rather, this immediate conflict needs to be seen as symbolic of the Christa’s internal conflict and Ymir’s attempt to empower and liberate Christa. If she can’t even save Daz, how can she possibly hope to save herself and change her fate?

But Ymir says there is a way. To save Daz they need to throw him off the cliff so he can be retrieved by the others. Christa of course objects to this ridiculous idea, so Ymir roughly throws Christa into a tree. In this moment of disorientation, Ymir transforms into a titan to take Daz to safety.  

On the surface, Ymir uses her power as a titan to enable all of them to survive. But on a symbolic level, this shows us that Ymir is willing to put her identity, her secret and even her life on the line, just to prove to Christa that her seemingly impossible desire for freedom can be made a reality. Even Ymir seems shocked at what she did for Christa, at once happy, pained, conflicted and incredulous. By the end of the episode, Ymir will show us just how far she is willing to go for Christa (and I will cry).

In the real world though, Christa, of course, wants to know exactly how Ymir and Daz made it back alive. With the sun rising behind them, symbolising the hope they have found in each other, (it’s super romantic you guys), Ymir agrees to tell her the truth if Christa will promise her one thing: when Ymir reveals her secret, Christa must re-assume her true identity and live for herself –proudly, fearlessly and free.  

Transitioning back to present, we return to Ymir jumping off the tower, but this time, we experience it from her perspective. As she falls, perhaps for the first time, we hear Ymir’s internal monologue, really highlighting that Ymir is being truly open and honest in this act. She, like Christa, was told that it would be better if she didn’t exist. Forced to deny a part of herself, she wants nothing more than to live for herself as herself. Now, Ymir is going to give Christa that second chance.

Now, that was a lot of time spent on character analysis, I can admit it. But without it, AoT wouldn’t nearly be so powerful or effective. Because AoT consistently sets up its characters, themes and emotional through-lines so well and so comprehensively, the big action-y pay off never gets bogged down in wordy explanations or internal monologue. It can simply let the scene play out and trust that the audience will get it. Because we truly understand these characters, we can absorb the action, understanding the ways it’s playing Christa and Ymir’s relationship, needs and motivations.  And, we have all the information we need for my heart to be ripped out at the end.

Ymir as a titan is both fierce and goofy. It’s a great design, with her relatively small stature belying a terrifying strength and ferocity. This titan battle has a different feel from Eren or Annie’s, as Ymir uses her agility and viciousness to her advantage, jumping and biting and scratching. It’s scrappy, it’s mean and it’s super fun to watch.

Well, for the other characters watching from the tower, it’s more confronting than fun. As they look down upon this abnormal scene, more pressing questions come to mind – is Ymir their enemy? Did she know she was a titan? Could there be others who don’t know that they are titan shifters? What is her motivation?

True to form, it’s pointless to attempt to understand Ymir’s motivations purely from the way she presents herself. She’s just too good at concealing the truth. What matters are her actions and what they say about her. As Christa deduces, Ymir could easily escape if she wanted to. Instead she is trying to fight and protect them because she cares about them (but mostly because she loves Christa).

Realising that Ymir is doing exactly what she herself would have done, sacrificing herself to protect the one’s she cares about, Christa is almost indignant. Their typical roles are suddenly flipped, as Christa begins to scold Ymir, angrily ordering her to live for herself, not for others, and survive!

In this act, Christa is actively endorsing Ymir’s selfish philosophy that prioritises oneself over everyone else. This is a turning point for Christa, and, I believe, truly shows us that she is emotionally ready to reassume her true identity and assert herself in this world.

As we saw in the flashback, Christa destructively believed that she didn’t matter, that as an individual she was essentially worthless. This is why she was able to so easily give up her identity, and, implicitly, her right to personhood. Ymir’s hyper-individualist philosophy is the exact opposite of this self-abnegating belief and dangerous willingness to yield to the needs of the group. Yes, it is often a selfish view, but it is also an empowering philosophy that grants the individual agency over themselves and affirms their place in a world that seeks to repress them.

In this moment, as Christa yells from the tower, Christa truly understands this mindset and philosophy; she just needs apply it to herself. Essentially, Ymir has succeeded in showing Christa how to liberate herself and reclaim her pride as an individual. Simply by being with her and challenging her, Ymir has impacted Christa and helped her grow into someone who is willing to selfishly live and truly believe in your right to exist. So too, has Christa changed Ymir into a person who is willing to selflessly do what’s best for others to save the people you love. This is why their relationship is so, so important and so, so powerful. Simply by being together, they’ve made each other stronger and helped each other to grow as people.

So of course, Christa orders Ymir to destroy the tower. Epic.

Without the height advantage provided by the tower, though, Ymir begins to tire and is overpowered. Horrifyingly, the titans begin to devour Ymir in her titan form and Christa runs to her, crying out that she still wants to talk to Ymir and tell her her real name. They love each other so much, you guys, I just can’t handle it.

When all seems truly lost (for the umpteenth time), the scouts arrive, just in time to save Christa and the others from the titans surrounding them. With sweet, sweet victory finally in sight, the tone shifts from despair at the once seemingly impossible odds to triumph as they slay titan after titan. There’s even some jokes! I quite literally screamed with laughter when Eren finally got his first titan kill as a human and then proceeded to trip and fail.

This joy is short-lived though as we see Ymir’s horrific injuries and gaping wound in her stomach; it doesn’t look like she’ll survive. As Christa cradles Ymir in her arms, holding her in her final(?) moments, Ymir opens her eyes. Teary but smiling, Christa finally reveals what she has hidden from Ymir this whole time: her real name is Historia. It’s a beautiful, quiet scene, filled with meaning and emotion that words can’t necessarily express, and AoT just let’s this moment play out.

In the end, this episode tells the story of two girls who truly understand and love each other. It’s a truly beautiful and touching episode.

I guess in the end all I can really say is YUMIKURI 4 LIFE!!11!!

[evangelineartemiasamos]

Red Queen Fan Fiction Blood Curse part 2

Find this on wattpad

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 25

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 28

chapter 29

Final chapter

A/N: The narrator is my original character and there is an awful lot of words explaining her family situation, sorry if that gets confusing. 

Cassandra POV

The queen glides into the throne room, moving with a quick pace that leaves her retinue of three so far behind her that you can barely call them such. They are an unusual retinue to begin with, as they aren’t high-born ladies-in-waiting in ostentatious, gem-studded gowns, but two secretaries, a man and a woman, and the Lady Ambassador of the Lakelands.

I turn my head away from them to watch the queen reaching the dais and taking her seat on the throne. As she sits down, the whole court present – 120 people – rise from their kneeling positions. I stand in second line, behind Larissa of House Welle, my future sister-in-law, and I’m flanked by two other sentinels. Thirty of us were in the throne room and while there is no evidence to expect another assault on the Whitefire, due to the dire situation of Norta’s king caused by the Scarlet Guard and the separatists from the Rift, a demonstration of security seems appropriate.

The queen betrays no discomfort by sitting on the throne made of Silent Stone, just like the king didn’t. Before he went to Corvium to deal with the Red occupying force, the queen took the consort’s throne, as had the witch queen before her death. But Iris Cygnet isn’t going to leave leadership in the hands of the fickle, instable boy king. She is our regent and she emitts the dignity of three-hunded years of absolutism exerted by her royal forebears. She’s more regal than any Calore king I’ve ever encountered.

My boyfriend Sorata reported to my mother and me on the queen’s reception by the commoners – and the Reds as well. Admiration is too strong a word, but Iris is liked well enough as the princess who has ended the war. The Scarlet Guard’s didn’t choose the best timing when they crashed the wedding of peace. As if the Reds aren’t already instigated against them and needed further reason to mistrust the rebels. You can’t have everything. Red Nortan soldiers will fight the Guard, just as Maven intends, to my chagrin.

With a wave of the queen’s hand, her retinue take their places alongside her on the dais, still standing. Iris observes her nobles while the master of ceremonies, Richard Provos, summarizes the schedule for this audience. Of course it’s hilarious. I doubt anything of this is news to the queen while her courtiers must have heard rumours before.

Corvium wasn’t reconquered and a quarter of the Silver Nortan forces were killed in action by the united forces of the rebel army made of Newbloods and the traitorous Samos allies. The Lakelander king, our new queen’s own father, was murdered by an Iral separatist while King Maven got away with his life and if the queen is relieved or unnerved by this is impossible to tell. While her gown is, indeed, coloured in the dark shades of mourning, she’s dressed in no way ceremonial, apart from the delicate crown of silver, sapphires and rubies circling her brow. She wears leather, as she does often, and her skirt is divided to reveal her crossed legs clad in leather pants and flat, knee-high boots.

At least the foreigner queen has a more tasteful sense for fashion than the Nortan courtiers in their gem-studded tents. I know it’s superficial to judge people by their clothing, but I can’t let go of my impression. I wish I could see who these people surrounding me are beneath their house colours.

As if my own relations are any better at revealing their true motives. While my family’s first and foremost loyalty is devoted to our own, we chose the path of taking no side apart from obedience to the throne. If that includes working for the usurper Maven and the foreigner queen in front of me, so be it. It’s not easy for us. My mother Charlotte is a Haven, a family supporting King Volo of the Rift, yet she plays her own dangerous game here, expecting to remain standing whoever wins in the end. With Maven as the victor, she expects to be named the Lady of House Haven as the only one remaining loyal, yet at the same time, she acts as a contact person to her house, with each faction believing her to be their double agent.

The victorious and vindictive monarch – whoever they will be – isn’t going to behead the whole of the court if all they have done has been following royal orders, Mother claims, especially if said courtier is someone as effective as her, the boss of the secret service.

I’m not sure that the same applies to me. I, Cassandra Griffey, the bastard telky, have chosen a hazardous position myself by becoming Maven’s executioner and assassin who kills and arrests his Silver adversaries.

Vengeance might await me at every turn and the king knows that. While he appreciates my prowess, he assumes that no one will miss the commoner sentinel if she is caught in a crossfire. And if my closer family does decide to avenge me, it isn’t like I’d gain anything by that. I would just be another scion of House Haven – in all but name and ability, I have to admit – waiting to see if we are truly claimed by Lisa Corvin, our disembodied ancestress, or if my family’s faith in the aethereal realm of ghosts is misplaced.

The situation doesn’t become any easier as my half-brothers are Eagries through their father’s side, a House remaining staunchly loyal to King Maven, while their grandmother is a coat-turning Iral. We are like the textbook example of the family torn apart by a civil war. Right now, there are more Eagries in the Whitefire than I’ve ever seen before, apart from my brother Roman and his aunt Aude, a general who fought at the Corvium siege and who has to be frothing with frustration about the second defeat.

The queen is the opposite. She’s as calm as the lakes of her home country, but I don’t doubt she can be as relentless as the sea. I’ve seen her fighting when the Scarlet Guard crashed her wedding and for the first time, I’ve been in awe of another Silver. She can probably drown me in my own tears if she feels like it.

Dignity is the only expression she shows and the slight moves of her fingers on the armrests remind me less of nervousness and more of Mother’s own twitching to control shadows. I wonder, does Queen Iris try to control water despite the Silent Stone on her chair, or is it just her way to cope with the heaviness and nausea emanating from the throne?

I understand well enough either way. The power of kings isolates you, it is the same for all rulers. They have to choose the throne and nothing else. Be it Maven, the old king or the young woman from the former enemy country. She isn’t allowed to show grief or insecurities. Love and friendship are luxuries no monarch can rely on.

“The traitor Samos in the Rift has declared for Tiberias VII, the murderous prince who collaborates with the Red terrorists,” the master of ceremonies declares eventually and tears me from my contemplations. Courageous – or very stupid – to say this in front of the congregation of the High Houses. Who knows who else might defect because of this news?

The queen’s stormy eyes darken and stop Provos from continuing, like saying which houses back the claim of the traitor prince. Though any noble with sense would have left Archeon already if they intended to turn their coats. For whatever reason, the people gathered here chose to support Maven – until he would lose, of course. Opportunism and repression rule the world and all of them would be begging the victor to be allowed to pledge another oath of allegiance.

Larissa Welle turns her head to give me a questioning gaze. I can only shrug, cursing my damned helmet for the umpteenth time. We’re friends, Larissa and I, as she is betrothed to my brother Hagen. Apparently, she isn’t bothered by his blindness. Maybe he’s lucky that he doesn’t have to see her hilarious dresses with a whole meadow of tulle and satin flowers sewed on her huge skirts. Even if I wasn’t limited to my sentinel uniforms, I wouldn’t wear anything like that, but in a way, it fits her, the affable greenwarden. Indeed, the real cornflowers braided into her dark brown hair are quite beautiful and in a colour as intense as blue fire. And she dresses Hagen impeccably as well. As much as it angers me, making him at least look like a proper noble is a necessity for him to serve in the Whitefire.

The Provos master of ceremonies regains his topic and starts to report on the fragile alliance between the Scarlet Guard, the Rift, Piedmont and the Republic of Monfort, which are still dangerous grounds. Many courtiers gasp as they imagine a nation governed by Reds, actually a bunch of Newbloods, to make it even worse.

I don’t believe that any of this is news to the queen. She has to have set up this audience to inform her court of their enemies, to make us realize how much we need our tense unity and her rule and her Lakelands backing. But this play makes her look more like a young girl than a schemer. Maybe that’s exactly what she wants.

Iris stops the report with a raised hand. She looks almost amused beneath her serious bearing.

“My good subjects,” Iris begins, “we shall not forget that we are Norta. We have the technology, the resources and the power which the Rift may only claim in parts. The Samos kingdom will not last for long while we stand together! Four traitorous High Houses and volatile Reds cannot break what the House Calore has built up in centuries, a nation rightfully proud of its progresses and strength.

"One long war had ended, and here I stand as the herald of the unity Norta and the Lakelands have finally found. What has divided us shall now be our greatest advantage – our differences and rivalries have made us reach our greatest selves and this is the time to demonstrate what we can accomplish together. The king and I will not stand to see this era of peace sullied by a secession caused by some obstinate, presumptuous and greedy House lords who think they can rule their own states by nothing but rebellion. They are defectors who forgot the importance of loyalty, traitors who threw in their lots with wretched terrorists. They are insurgents need to be reined in again and to meet punishment for their crimes.

"I trust you to defeat them. I trust you to win, for Norta, for peace, and for yourselves.

"And I’ll fight with you. I will slay Norta’s enemy as relentless as the sea. For power and strength!”

I blink when the queen uses the words I have attributed to her just moments before. They have to be an obvious simile, I think, as the throne room drowns in cries of power and strength and thunderous applause. I squeeze Larissa’s hand as she moves to leave with the other nobles, dismissed by the queen once she’s delivered her rousing speech. I almost admire how easily she’s brushed over the fact that Maven’s forces were defeated. I start to follow along with the rest of the security personnel not on duty for guarding the queen as Iris raises her voice once more.

“The sentinels and security officers shall stay.”

My feet stop immediately, accustomed to obey a royal order. I line up with the rest in front of the queen and take the chance to look directly at the group on the dais. The queen has regained her seat on the throne, sitting straight and comfortably, seemingly still unperturbed by its compound. Her attendants’ faces are blank, as if focusing on the soldiers in front of them, but the Lady Ambassador grins wickedly.

Never trust a diplomat, was one of my mother’s lessons, and yet it is strange for the lady to show her derision so openly. The queen should rein her in as well, if she wants to maintain her pageant of the peace harbinger. But this is not the time as Iris wants to speak to her Nortan guards for now.

“I’m inclined to trust you with the protection of my life,” she begins, her regal bearing changing from pleading figurehead to haughtiness in an instant. “But I would rather not see another infiltration of the Whitefire and in my opinion, these disguises you wear are like an invitation we shouldn’t continue to use. Remove them.”

I can’t hide the smirk on my face as I take off the damned helmet. The queen rises and leaves the dais to walk down the line of her bodyguards, going on prattling about her expectations. She stops in front of me.

Up close, I see that Iris is athletic and muscular like me, but 10 cm taller. “My Queen?” I ask, maintaining my composure.

She chuckles. “You’ve heard that, Isabella?” she exclaims to the ambassador. “She calls me ‘my Queen’, as if she is truly loyal to me.”

For a born-and-bred princess who knows about the importance of flashing her image, she is quite open about her mistrust. She sidles closer to me and her hand almost touches my chin – or my throat. There is honest curiosity in her eyes, a feeling I’ve noticed from her before, even on the first time we’ve met years ago.

The corners of her mouth twitch and she moves back a step. “We’ve seen each other before, Sentinel Griffey. You have visited me in Detraeon once.”

I supress the urge to blink and nod. “Yes, my Queen.” Visited me isn’t exactly right as I didn’t come for the Second Princess Iris five years ago. I assume the two different colours of my eyes – black and grey – make me so memorable, as I didn’t have my tattoos back then. The queen inclines her head, waves the ambassador to her and goes on. I remain the only one she’s talked to. As Iris walks, drops of water gather around her, swirling in alternating patterns. As she turns to go back to the dais, she hesitates. She faces us instead and the waters change shape to surround us like fetters. I hold my breath at the queen’s subtle control of her element.

Iris barks out four names and the swirls point to the corresponding persons. I am among them.

“I promote you to my personal bodyguards,” the queen announces.

Ah shit.

“Allyson and Henryk,” - her secretaries, apparently - “will coordinate your new tasks and schedules. I expect nothing but excellence from you.” Her smile reveals pretty, small teeth. “I’ve heard only the best about you, and I remember your efforts from my wedding and before.”

I’m not sure if my performance of the royal wedding is a recommendation. Whatever Queen Iris has seen of me, she couldn’t have noticed what I’ve really been doing, dodging attacks and bullets aimed at the infiltrators. Guiding my fellow sentinels away from areas where they’ve been needed. Opening the rooms in which the recruited Newblood soldiers were locked in.

I’m a very good sleeper agent for the Scarlet Guard.

The queen beckons her chosen four, two men and a woman I all know well enough. The queen’s smile sends a shiver down my spine. This is a formidable woman I’ll have to outwit, even though I’m flattered by her recognition. But that can’t have a matter in my coming tasks. I’m the daughter, sister and lover of spies and I’m becoming one as well. The young queen of peace has selected a traitor to protect her.

Commentary:

Tell me if Cassandra fangirls Iris too much ;-)

Tell me if you don’t get Cassandra’s character. She appeared in my former fic Black Storm but maybe not everyone read that one too. But I couldn’t let go my precious murder baby, fight me …

And yes, Cassie judges people’s sense for fashion because it’s a common thing to do. It doesn’t mean that she hates them just for that.

 @queenmareena @lilyharvord @redqueenfandom @universegamer @tiygreen37

[kimberlylam1997]

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