#like the movie isn't even that good plot wise BUT THAT ENDING

[lord-rain-master]

the day i can listen to inthandham without any Feelings™ will be the day i finally get over sita ramam

[ape-apocalypse]

Road To The Kingdom - Firestorm Tie-In Novel

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: Firestorm is a prequel novel written by Greg Keyes for the second movie in the reboot trilogy. It takes place soon after the end of the first film, about a week after the apes escaped into the redwood forest beyond San Francisco and the Simian Flu began to cut through the human race. This novel is a fantastic bridge between Rise and Dawn, giving us more insight into characters we met in the first movie who will feature in the next, as well as fleshing out the fall of society. 

The book does very well juggling between the two massive plots of Caesar's apes avoiding their human hunters and the Simian Flu tearing through the city. Though we don't see Will or any other humans we met in Rise, they give us many new human characters: a reporter trying to make the connection between the escaped apes and the new virus, an emergency room doctor dealing hands on with outbreak casualties, and an ape researcher and a former hunter who have been brought in by Gen-Sys to capture Caesar's group. While I thought I wouldn't care about the humans because the apes are always my favorite characters, all these humans in different locations and with different stories keep the story from dragging; I ended up enjoying the final days of humanity almost as much as Caesar's story. The book also gives us the first introduction to a human character who will become important in Dawn: Dreyfus, the leader of the human colony played by Gary Oldman. Going into the movie, his backstory isn't very clear other than he was in some position of power before the end and he lost his wife and children. But the book goes really deep into his story of a former police chief running for mayor and wanting to protect humans. Rereading the book in 2024, the parallels of the Simian Flu with the Covid outbreak definitely rings true (much like the YouTube shorts).

But no matter how good the human characters are, what I enjoyed most about this book was seeing Caesar and his escaped apes start to adapt to life in the wild. Even while they're being hounded by the humans chasing them, they have to figure out how to care for sick/injured apes and where to get food without humans to feed them. A great moment for Caesar is when he thinks to himself that he never thought beyond escaping from the human city; his realization that there is more to figure out than just dodging humans shows how he goes from accidental ringleader from the sanctuary to the wise authoritative leader of the apes of the next two films.

Though surprisingly, the true star of this book isn't Caesar; it's Koba. We get numerous detailed flashbacks of Koba's life before ending up in the Gen-Sys lab and receiving the brain enhancing drugs. From the death of his mother to being an abused TV star to arriving at the labs as a test ape. In the films, Koba's hatred of humans shines through and is unquestionable; you don't need the backstory to understand why he carries a grudge against all humanity. But reading the details really did break my heart. And getting his backstory revealed as he learns to work with other apes, as he proves his loyalty to Caesar by rescuing injured apes rather than wrecking vengeance on humans, you actually have hope that he could be happy now that he was free with other apes. 

Another great part of the book is getting to see the very beginning of Caesar and Cornelia's courtship. Since one of my disappointments with the films are the forgotten female characters, I was glad to see Cornelia here, challenging Caesar's orders when it came to taking care of injured apes. Though her role is still small, I liked seeing her get a little time to flesh out her character.

Firestorm is officially labeled as a prequel (which is why I have it listed first as I'm trying to go in chronological storyline order), but I actually enjoyed reading it after seeing Dawn. While I think it can still be appreciated in any order, I liked getting to meet Koba in the movie and seeing him as a great complicated villain, before then learning his backstory and growing your sympathy for him, while also thinking about how tragic it is that he couldn't let go of his hate. Whatever order you decide to read them in, Firestorm by Greg Keyes is a wonderful expansion on the movies that I would label as required reading for fans for the expansive and enjoyable story it shares.

Intro / Previous / Next

[antianakin]

Yo. What are your thoughts on people who unironically claim that - prior to his talk with Yoda - Luke was right about the Jedi Order in TLJ?

There's definitely other people who can probably discuss this more eloquently than I can, but basically the argument I've seen that works the best for me is that the whole point of Luke's journey in TLJ is that he's WRONG. Luke loses himself to his own fear and grief, and that turns him into a bitter, resentful person. And what we often see when people hit that sort of rock bottom point is that they refuse to be truly mindful and self-reflective and instead turn their fear into anger and then lash out at someone else just to have someone to blame that isn't themselves. And, within the context of Star Wars, the Jedi so often end up that scapegoat. There's even a pattern I've pointed out in other posts of Jedi choosing to turn on their own when they lose themselves to darkness (Krell, Barriss, Malicos, even Bode to some degree, and obviously Anakin).

But just because the Jedi often end up scapegoats for other people's failures doesn't actually mean these people are RIGHT to blame the Jedi for the galaxy's woes.

It also would quite honestly just make zero sense if Luke was right because he talks about wanting the Jedi to all die out, he wants there to be NO MORE Jedi at all, and then the end of the film is that Rey goes on to continue being a Jedi and Luke makes the big declaration that he won't be the last Jedi as a triumph over Kylo and the First Order. None of that seems to indicate that Rey continuing to become a Jedi is a BAD THING the way Luke would have thought earlier in the movie. So if Rey becoming a Jedi is a good thing, then it automatically means Luke thinking all the Jedi should die with him was WRONG. This is basic media literacy.

Luke is unkind and cruel and insensitive throughout the entirety of his interactions with Rey. And he is very DELIBERATELY written this way, you're supposed to be sort-of taken aback and cringing away from this version of Luke. This version of Luke is broken and warped from the person we last knew him to be. This is not a kindly master of any kind, so why would we listen to anything he has to say while in this mindset?

One of the other things done in TLJ to really slam home that Luke's perspective on things isn't always trustworthy is the comparison between the two flashbacks to Kylo's turn. Luke and Kylo both have very different versions of that night and so it's implied that we cannot necessarily just take Luke at his word when he says things. Luke is not an inherently trustworthy person anymore. So when he says shit like "The Jedi should die with me" it's said within the context we are being given that Luke is now untrustworthy and consumed with bitterness, so EVERYTHING HE SAYS has to be taken with a bucket of salt.

Luke isn't right about the Jedi, he can't be in order for any part of his story to make any sense and for the ending of the film to be in any way satisfying.

What I WILL say though is that this entire storyline is pure bullshit anyway and executed in the worst way possible. It's written in such a way that it's not hard to see WHY people would jump to the interpretation that Luke was right about the Jedi. I hate that they have Luke saying these things to begin with, I hate that his entire relationship with Rey consists of Luke being an asshole and refusing to teach her anything except how awful the Jedi were when he barely even ever KNEW the Jedi. This feels like a character assassination of Luke for no good reason. Making Luke into a broken hero completely sidelined Rey in her own story and made that entire plot about LUKE'S growth instead of Rey's. So not only is it really jarring and uncomfortable to see Luke as a bitter old man instead of a wise master, it's an absolutely shit writing decision that sidelines the first main female character of a Star Wars movie in order to focus on a man. Making Luke a kind, wise master would have forced the story to focus on REY and REY'S fears and doubts and REY'S growth and development into being a Jedi because Luke has ALREADY HAS HIS FUCKING STORY TOLD AND DOESN'T NEED TO GO THROUGH IT A SECOND TIME.

There's just so much that is badly done about this storyline, so I can't really blame people for reading it as "Luke was right about the Jedi being bad and it's good that Rey is going to be a Jedi only because she's going to be a different KIND of Jedi that is better." It's so so awful and I appreciate that TROS tried to fix it by making ghost!Luke a kindly master who retracts some of his statements about the Jedi when he sees Rey again, but the damage was already done and it was too late. That being said, I do think that despite how badly it's written, the intent is that Luke is WRONG and he is very much an unreliable narrator in TLJ and people don't really pick up on that in their interpretations.

[gooeygoldies]

Y'know what surprise post it's Otacon time he's on my mind rn (I have had some of the songs I've assigned to him on repeat lately) pokemon au is back!! Og mgs, mgs2 and mgs4

BUT YEAH!! POKEMON!!! he's one of my -if not the- most developed character au-wise in regards to pokemon and teams and things so yuh yuh under cut my insane person rambles

Okay SO we are going by game.

Mgs

- Porygon and Magnemite: Very straightforward the hacker/engineer pokemon duo!! He got them in college. His buddies his pals

- Sobble: actual plot here! It was a gift by Sniper wolf, who had Intelleon as her main pokemon. It is very much like him in the first game (cries and can turn invisible, in this au he got the camo gear idea from Sobble!!) and is perked upon his shoulder always. Also the water type is a sad little connection to the.pool. yeah. Anyways, he leaves it behind after leaving shadow Moses cuz he isn't a crybaby anymore!! Character growth!! The Sobble is okay don't worry about it

- Venonat: in au-lore. Originally assigned cuz I felt they looked alike, also a nocturnal pokemon to accompany him! But it was a pokemon he saved from being attacked by wolf's mightyenas (stand-in for wolves) it helps him sneak around shadow Moses thanks to its enhanced sight!

Mgs2 (now we get more into my own lore)

- Porygon2 and Magneton: Evolved!! Thanks to philanthropy that is, now they battle alongside snake and Otacon and are key helpers in all things electricity. Magneton is especially key in destabilizing electrical power sources

- Patrat (Shiny): Shiny bcs the color scheme felt cuter, but aside from that its here to match the 'eyes in the sky' role Otacon has now. A little sentinel! It keeps guard if accompanying snake or Otacon in missions.

- Swadloon: its all cozy and cooped up like. Like a nerd. But beside that, and it's role in the future (aka MGS4) it's main function is to sew up any torn garments, and helped Otacon make the new sneaking suit.

- Joltik: you know the bug things set to record conversations in spy movies? Make it an actual bug. Also it eats electricity so its a rlly good pal to have on the computer.

- Helioptile: It's actually a power generator!! Solar powered friend and I'd feel it would've been caught while moving around for philanthropy

* Venonat: He's still there!

Mgs4

Porygon2 & Magneton: Same ol' guys

Galvantula, Watchog, Heliolisk, Venomoth: They all evolved! Even if they spend most of their time in the nomad, Otacon took the time to train all of them after Snake's health started deteriorating just in case they needed to protect Sunny.

Leavanny: Honorable and separate mention! The nanny pokemon and it evolves by friendship. Evolved not long after Sunny arrived into his life, as the pokemon category implies, it takes care of Sunny as well!! Main caretaker whenever Snake and Otacon need some backup in that regard

Rotom: you know Rotom dex? Think metal gear Rotom... Rotom gear. But it's the mk.II instead. Rotom powered! The little dude also helps with every day appliances with it's usual forms

Beheeyem: It matches his sleeker, cooler look. That concept art with the coat? It's the cooler nerd pokemon

Porygon-Z: Used to be Emma's, and it ends up being the last puzzle piece in FOXALIVE in this au. She gave it to him before, y'know, spoilers but dying and all dat!

Well that's it!! I love Otacon he's so me I'm so him. Nerds with big glasses... Hopefully if I get the energy I'll do more deep dives like these but tbh for Snake his team is p static. Whatever !!! Ty guys for listening gn !!

[frasier-crane-style]

I think I cracked Gal Gadot

She's the twin to all those 'character actors in leading man bodies' like Chris Pine and Brad Pitt--she's a girl next door in a supermodel body.

She was so good in Wonder Woman because she got to play the character girlishly. She was happy, sad, afraid, concerned, lovey-dovey, hopeful, dispirited. Seeing her express strong emotions made you empathize with her and feel what she was feeling. The same principle as Luke Skywalker in ANH: he may be disparaged as whiny, but he didn't get to be one of the biggest pop culture icons of all time because people didn't relate to him.

The problem is, in everything else, Gadot is either playing a stoic, driven Strong Female Character (Fast & Furious, Heart of Stone, Justice League) or maybe a vampy girlboss (Death On The Nile, Red Notice) and it's just outside her range, not letting her show any of the charisma that made her so watchable as Wonder Woman.

Even in the DCEU, post-origin story, she's generally played Wonder Woman as brooding, reserved, stoic... a little like Luke in Return of the Jedi.

Now, that worked there because it was the end of his arc and he wasn't quite a Jedi. He still had to defeat Vader and the Emperor, he was conflicted, he got angry. Now imagine if they made a Star Wars movie set after RotJ, with Luke as a Jedi Master, and he was still the protagonist. It'd probably be a little boring, right? He'd be all-wise, all-knowing, infinitely patient. A good mentor, sure, but as someone relatable? No, I think it'd be a bit dull.

Which is the problem with Wonder Woman. Yeah, she can't stay a naif forever, but her as a perfectly poised, perfectly controlled badass just isn't much fun.

I think Patty Jenkins realized this was a problem with WW1984 and tried to course-correct, with an overlong first act that gave us Diana in love again, smooching with Chris Pine again, and having internal conflict again, but it didn't work. It was trying too hard to take Diana back to who she was and doing so in a not very effective way. Right idea, but poor execution. Especially since they wanted to start off with Diana brooding, sad, et al, so that her character arc would end in her being happy.

It's a thorny problem. They have Chris Pine die to give her angst, but Wonder Woman with angst isn't very engaging and they can't give him back for realsies and they have to line up with Batman V Superman at least a little. I don't know, I don't think they ever figured it out, even though they devoted the whole plot to fixing this and trying to show off Gal Gadot's very real charisma.

I don't really have a solution myself, I'm just a guy on the internet--I'm saying the problem is that Gal Gadot has gotten so big she can only take A-list parts and modern Hollywood blockbuster filmmaking says that Strong Female Characters can't be too feminine or show a lot of emotion or be vulnerable--the only emotion they're allowed is to be smug about how awesome they are--and Gadot is notably bad at playing these badly-written parts.

I think she'd actually be great pulling a Leslie Nielsen and making fun of herself, at least a little, but that requires more wit than an algorithm is capable of generating, so I don't think we'll see that for a while.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Do you think the music video “Sleep Well” is canon to Poppy Playtime, and is it canon for your AU?

Also, I wish instead of including all this ARG (like Theodore’s tragic tale that had no reason to not be in the actual game) and extra stuff just for hype purposes and promoting their YouTube content, Mob Entertainment would instead make the game have a stronger story by just putting that stuff in there, either in the main plot or by making the player find it like the VHS tapes…I have many issues with them as a company…

I just hope the actual canon sticks to a morally gray conflict with no chickening out, and maybe even have our antagonist be somewhat sympathetic, no matter whether the ending is good or bad for all parties involved…I’m just kinda dreading/expecting that there will be huge open ends/dangling plot threads or even a sequel hook so the franchise can be milked even further than it has been, especially with that movie in the works…

I just saw that music video, and... Honestly it's a nice song, but I dont think any of it adds up to anything lore wise? And oh my God, I can't agree enough with you regarding all the ARG stuff.

As someone who's ALSO making a mascot horror game, and also as someone who had their brain rewired at age 11 thanks to FNaF's, I am SO tired of games pulling the mysterious/obtuse lore on us. Mob (as in, the company, not the poor probably overworked gamedevs) cannot deal with the idea of their game actually having cohesive lore and impactful moments that aren't shock value. Everyone loved chapter 3 not because it was a masterpiece, but because it's actually a decent horror fucking game. Of course chapter 3 is good, chapter 1 was a paid demo and chapter 2 was almost Hello Neighbour levels of fun! Of course chapter 3 is good, it's actually trying to be a horror game instead of a YouTube Kids content farm product!

Chapter 3 of Poppy Playtime lacks any impact that isn't shock value. That's it. And yes, I disliked chapter 3 so much it reverse engineered me into making an AU where everyone lives because fuck this awful shock content logic!

I want the canon to stick to a morally grey conflict as well. I WANT Prototype to have an actual point and for him to be a tragic character, I WANT the game to show us that maybe Poppy isn't as good as she wants us to believe, and I WANT the game to pick all of this and still go "but what the Prototype did was wrong, and we need to put an end to this carnage". But, c'mere, look at me.

I have no faith this will actually happen.

That's it! Zero faith, nothing, nada! I was expecting nothing out of chapter 3 and STILL managed to be dissapointed. I doubt Poppy Playtime will ever try to have an interesting story inside the chapters, much less an actually compelling conflict. At this point I'm just seeing where Mob Youtube Kids Content Farm Entertainment will do to destroy any future opportunities of something compelling.

Also. I would have liked chapter 3 way more if we actually saw Theo go from being Theo into becoming Catnap, with his death scene being PAINFUL to watch after spending the entire chapter learning how he became Catnap.

[cptn-merica]

thoughts on peggy carter

i think my biggest issue with peggy carter is marvel is trying to push agendas and pander to audiences as a cop out for formulating a dynamic character. it's obvious she's supposed to be a feminist icon. that's totally cool. i appreciated that as a kid, since i was sick of women being portrayed as weak. the way i see it, peggy suffers from weak portrayal, not portrayal that she's weak.

--

before the peggy fans comment/reblog, "omg not another stucky blog posting peggy hate. leave her alone!!" i don't hate peggy, I just want a clearer picture of who she is. i enjoyed her in the mcu but i wish marvel would've given her justice within the writing. this isn't hate for hayley atwell either. she did really good in her acting, enough so i watched more movies with her in it intentionally.

--

peggy always read to me as a half-developed side character -- no matter if she's the main character. my one of my biggest complaints is that she seems to have little to no motive. motive is what drives people and your main character having consistently unclear motives is sloppy writing.

helping steve? sure, she's his commanding officer and she seemed to like him.

"win the war"? well sure, that was a lot of other people's motives in ww2. why did she even join the war anyways? what convinced her to sign up? she didn't have to, she could've done other work. what was so compelling about the war to her?

for the what if episode: why'd she choose to take the super serum?

my point here is: there are too many points where one questions why she did ___ that could have been better defined (esp in the what if series).

--

marvel can make her much more interesting (and to me appealing) character by not putting her in comparison to steve. they would be forced to solidify her character instead of wimping out and saying "well she's the love interest." I'm not saying that she can't have both a relationship and be a strong woman - many women have/are both. however, when your entire personality depends on your relationship to one person, it's not very healthy or wise.

the concept of marvel pushing for steve and peggy's relationship is fine, that's how romance novels are made. but the lax follow-through on character development removes my interest for the ship. how good romance novels bring interest to each character is by establishing them. they also used peggy as way to pander for chris evans himself - she was an easy way to get steve rogers out of upcoming plot lines. (side note: chris evans is totally justified in not wanting to work for marvel anymore, they just should've handled his character's ending less sloppily)

as for the ship - i would see more value in the steve x peggy ship if i could tell what type of person peggy is. especially when you take away steve. i see value and interest in steve and bucky because, even though bucky was made as a sidekick to steve, he has a strong character. would i want to see him even more fleshed out? yeah, ofc. would i say he's more fleshed out than peggy? yes, because in one movie you can tell who bucky is and why he's doing things. i see why people ship steve and peggy, and I see why people ship steve and bucky. both stances are valid.

i haven't seen it yet nor i do know if i will watch it due to personal time and budget constraints, but i hope that the agent carter series strengthens her character.

ultimately, peggy is the victim of poor and sexist writing.

(note:: this is my personal opinion & analysis, based on the first two cap movies and the what if series. im not speaking for anyone but myself. if you feel like her character is rich enough and you're satisfied by her portrayals, that's great, I just wanted to share my stance. again, i don't hate peggy, I just want a clearer picture of who she is and why she does what she does)

[garthofshayeris]

MY OFFICIAL THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM. Spoilers ahead.

OKAY. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. It was very fun and it did not have the problem of too many villains that I was expecting based on everything I read. If that was the result of the rewrites and reshoots, I am happy for them.

A lot of the visuals and smaller adventures felt very Silver Age! There were certain creatures that were directly from the 60s, which I appreciated. Topo was lovely. If you know me, you know one of my major gripes with some of the recent Aquaman comics is that they do not lean into the animal sidekick thing anymore. And the group of whales straight up killing all those people? THAT is the Aquaman content I like to see.

The horror elements were just enough to balance out the sillier parts. Although I knew Arthur Jr was never in any actual danger, this is the closest DC has come since the 70s to making it even somewhat realistic that they would kill a baby. Like, I knew they wouldn't. But for once I said to myself, "they've established this enough that I believe this threat." You know my stance on DC trying to bait another Death of a Prince...

The cursed Trident possessing Manta was giving such Preboot Orm vibes. I liked it, I appreciate a slow possession arc. Manta was scary and felt like a real threat, which is difficult to achieve when he's a human and he's fighting people so much stronger than him. Shin was also SO good, you knew he was going to redeem himself but it still felt very natural for him to do so. Idk why Manta trusted him with the baby duffel bag tho, after all the times Shin clearly was snooping and giving Manta disapproving looks. Also why did they put that baby in a duffel bag lmao

Overall, it was a pretty straightforward story that felt easy to follow. This isn't always the case for superhero films, so it was refreshing. And a good end to the franchise. This actually felt like it would have been a great end to a TRILOGY, and that we were missing a middle story...

HOWEVER.

Not to make this about me and my blorbo but.......this would have made a lot more sense as a story about Arthur and Garth. I'm sorry, but it's true. Every time I saw a Silver Age reference, I just said to myself "oh yeah, that's a story with Aqualad in it, but now it's Orm." I KNOW that Orm needed his lil redemption arc, but if Patrick Wilson was not besties with James Wan, I don't think he would have gotten one.

Because Kordax was Slizzath. He just was. They took Slizzath's story and renamed him Kordax. So many parts of the movie I was like "this is adapted from Tempest (1996)" BUT IF THEY HAD USED SLIZZATH WITHOUT GARTH I WOULD HAVE BEEN PISSED so I get it but I don't get it, you know? But Kordax was just Slizzath.

I posted a few years ago about my ideal Aquaman trilogy, and tbh this felt like my ideal third movie, plot-wise and tone-wise......except my vision was about Garth, not Orm. Orm could be there, I guess, but imo he should have had a sequel redemption and then the third movie should have introduced the evil sorcerer thing. It would have made perfect sense to need Atlan's blood, thinking they're fine because they saved the baby but then Garth accidentally bleeds on the altar and unlocking his powers, and releasing Slizzath. PLUS then he could freeze the ice caps again with his new found powers lmao I'm worried about the implications.........nobody in this universe has ice powers.....

I get that it would have been hard to introduce a new character for a sequel with absolutely no chance at a third movie, so I do understand that Garth was never an option....but holy shit, Garth would have been a perfect fit for this movie.

AGAIN, not to make it about my blorbo .......

also I cannot believe they killed Vulko via plague?? I almost laughed out loud. It's absolutely because they could not reconcile that if Vulko was alive, Arthur would not need Orm's help lmao RIP Vulko I choose to believe you were hanging around as a ghost like in Vol 5

One last gripe but omg Atlan's trident looked so BAD in some scenes??? It looked very prop-like, and not metal at all??? did anyone else notice it? It's really bad on the iceberg scene. The costumes were actually great but omg that trident prop lmao

OVERALL, it was a really fun movie. I'm happy to say that I liked it. I think it will get bad critic reviews and really good audience reviews. It just felt very fun and heartfelt. The action scenes were also well lit and easy to follow, and that alone should convince people to see it

I'm going to see it again tomorrow and I want to make a list of the other random things that I noticed. I know I'm missing a lot. How did ya'll feel about it??

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Glass Onion is a fun movie. It promises a fun, colorful, campy homage/parody of the murder mystery genre, and it delivers exactly that. Clearing that bar (delivering what is promised) is both a bare minimum and something that projects on the areas of my interest have failed to clear for the past few years.

So, yeah, I watched Glass Onion and I enjoyed it very much. After about a day of letting the experience sink in, I think I can understand both the passionate praise and the passionate loathing. For the most part.

Glass Onion is a sequel to Knives Out, and as first sequels go, it's pretty good. It's not the exact same story of the last one, but with different characters, even if there are similarities (i.e. the working class main heroine), and just that makes it better than at least half of every sequel I have ever watched. But it's also not as good as Knives Out. It's definitely NOT better. It's not terrible, it's not a huge drop in quality, but it isn't as good.

While Knives Out has a good pacing, where the rhythm of the story starts slow and mounts higher and higher towards the ending, Glass Onion has a very slow beginning, only really starting to pick up about the 45 minute mark (in a movie that is 2 hours and 20 minutes long, I really think they could have shaved 20 minutes off the beginning of the film and it would have made for a tighter experience). We get a few minutes of big tension and then it slows down again to fill us in on the backstory (here I feel Rian Johnson's infatuation with plot twists is a drawback; considering the twin sister plot is very cliched -which is fine in a story that hinges around the most obvious explanations being right- I feel the story would have benefited from the audience knowing from the get go that Helen was posing as Cassandra. It would have been more traditional, but it would have added much to the initial tension, proverbial bomb under the table and all). The climax and ending of the movie IS long, but I think that is fine because it is focusing on the catharsis we are experiencing vicariously through Helen (this is one of the reasons why I will forever defend Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds. Sometimes a movie can be just about catharsis, and if it delivers that, then it hasn't failed. I digress).

Characters. While both the characters of Knives Out and Glass Onion are rich entitled assholes, there's a variety and richness to the ones in the former that is absent in the latter. Harlan's family in KO shares their heavy dependence on his money, but in different ways. Harlan's daughter possesses more depth of feeling and strength of character than his son. The son is resentful because he's a little man. The daughter in law and the son in law are both leeches, but their ways of facing life and their relationship to the family are very different. The Gen Z grandchildren are radically opposite in their political views, but both engage in completely performative forms of activism. Ransom's attitude serves a completely different form of dishonesty and laziness than the rest.

In Glass Onion... the assholes are just stock characters. Very much like the game Clue that the movie pokes fun at, they are the scientist, the senator, the passé diva, the overworked secretary, the trashy entrepeneur and his trophy wife. They are all opportunistic, worthless assholes, but there's little to differentiate them and justify their inclusion other than filling the screen and adding star power. What does make the difference, character wise, between Peg and Whiskey? What does Lionel really want out of the money and power he seeks? What has Claire of distinctive other than wearing beige?

Speaking of which, costumes. They are fun, eye catching and suited to the characters... for the most part. We get that Claire is beige, we don't need to have her LITERALLY wear only beige all the time. You can throw some white and navy blue or black in the mix and you'll still get the message across without making it cartoonish. Benoit Blanc! Look, his costumes are a lot of fun, but I have a hard time believing the man who dressed in the most plain and boring colors possible in Knives Out just dresses like that in summer. I'm certainly not demanding he wears only neutrals, but Glass Onion!Blanc gives the vibes of someone that would dress in winter as the male version of Linda.

Glass Onion is not a perfect movie. But it remembers that light is an essential part of film (the sequence under the lighthouse lighting is beautiful) and in that way it looks classy. It remembers that plot holes and inconsistencies need to be papered over instead of highlighted: the plot of the movie hinges on Cassandra being both a good reader of human nature (knowing which people will connect well with other people) and a terrible reader of human nature (the email is one of the most stupid moves conceivable), a clever, foreseeing entrepreneur (she was the one to have the brilliant concept of Alpha that made Bron a billionaire) and a person who cannot look ahead to the future (she doesn't ensure she has a paper trail that supports her intellectual property in the company, even living in a post social-network world). The movie is aware of this, so it heavily moves the focus onto Helen and her revenge quest. It remembers that audiences would rather be pandered to than abused and belittled (YMMV as to how much the "burn the rich" message can ring as genuine in a 40 million dollar movie or as just panem et circenses). It remembers that satire needs to make the caricature of the satirized recognizable and realistic enough, and that a movie in a genre is indebted to the genre and cannot act like it has invented it (I'm staring at you, Don't Worry Darling, on both accounts). It understands that attention to detail can elevate mediocre material and that people do notice, even if they cannot articulate it (this goes from the infamous Starbucks coffee cup on the set of GoT to the absurd carelessness and sameness of late MCU productions).

And that is, sadly, nowadays, a somewhat tall order to fulfill. So I understand why people are going crazy over this movie. I also understand why that irritates the hell out of others.

In the end, Glass Onion is a fun movie. And that was enough for me.

[wurdulac]

last year i wrote a list of media that touched me. bcs i have shit for memory i was noting down things i watched, played etc. this year. so here's the list.

the city and the city by china miéville - loved it...

the longing - idle game that felt quite promising in the beginning. you play as a lonely shade that has to wait 400 days for his king to wake up. it can get kinda weird and idk how i feel about this anymore.

rain dogs - extremely bleak life circumstances, intense toxic friendship. 'fast food isn't good for you. but i fucking love it'

deadwood - very intriguing way of plotting a story of a settlement but some things abt were fucking stupid and i'm still frustrated when i think abt it. haven't finished the final season and i don't really feel like it.

vanished birds <- read this or else

dungeon meshi - most beautiful art with dynamically drawn creatures and beasts that then get shown being cooked into delicious (and nutricious!) meals in great detail. setting is a spoof of a stereotypical party adventure world but it tries to make sense of its rules and creates in turn something quite unique. great characters too.

wuthering heights - extremely good narrative device. never knew that we learn this story through a tale being told by a servant to some cringey guy. surprisingly well depicted psychology of the characters. reading abt child abuse upset me so bad. society will fuck you up. some ways to better your lot are closed to you based on your gender and race. fucking up people over generations. also moors. they're important.

ghost in the shell

barry - the fact that the show never lets him forget. the satire on show biz, loving the veterans. it's like a more clownish version of breaking bad in a way (both being concerned with morality). characters are caritaturish but everything they do is taken extremely seriously. also it's quite inventive with filmography. solid. loved it.

sangfielle - weird fiction arc of FaTT podcast.. extremely good setting

andor - they didn't lie when they said star wars can be good. abt opression and imperialism.. and droids done well.

repo man - plotted in a very fun way... unforgettable ending.

hellraiser - it was so promising. shouldn't have turned into tense rubic cube solving under most dire circumstances ever imo.

bg3 - the themes have made me insane. it managed to be cohesive. it's the. carousel of violence. cycle of abuse. relationship with power. trusting the other not to use violence against (even though they could). male manipulators. the dark urge. it's not without its faults and it should have been tighter (durge should be the main protag and no tav, chop down act 1, erase halsin)

the terror - such a mixed bag. a very good and tense thriller about imperialistic hubris but. they put a beast there. and the villain was??? idk man.

iasip (well technically i've been trying to watch it for years, but this year alone i watched like 4 seasons or maybe more) - i simply love iasip. its style of comedy that is irreverent. the mad schemes. awful dynamics. touching real darkness.

blowback (podcast) - about american imperialism. first season abt iraq war tone-wise feels like if behind the bastards and citations needed had a baby. recommended.

roadwarden - loved it. loved the setting!

anyway... i kinda stopped reading books after i quit my job (no longer commuting somewhere regularly so i stopped using my kindle). had plans to watch more movies but it's always a struggle to sit down and start watching. went to more than 0 galleries but not that many tbh. i sometimes don't know what to say and most of my comments are still pretty general and feel trite.

[destinyc1020]

The combination of zendaya and amy pascal is enough for me to not really worry about box office if im being honest. Zendaya is both popular and incredibly mainstream that in itself is gonna get people to the theatres and even a 100 million box office would still be considered a success especially for a rated r comedy. So anything above 100 to me is just an extra cherry on top. And then Amy pascal loves zendaya shes gonna do everything in her demonic powers 😭😭😭 to ensure challengers/ zendaya is everywhere for the month of april.

Lol @ your comments re: Amy 🤣

But yea, I'm not worried about the box office numbers for "Challengers" at all. Of COURSE I want it to do really well overall (even at the box office), but at the end of the day, to me, a film's box office numbers isn't really the only thing that I measure a film's success by. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Some films are made simply just because if the good writing, acting, directing, and plot lines.

I wish Hollywood (and people just in general) stopped using box office numbers as the sole barometer to determine a film's worth (or success). It's very annoying 😒

Yes, we want a film to be able to make a profit, but I feel like we really need to look at other factors that make a film great. Some films don't make much at all in the box office, but they're STILL GREAT films. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Just because people aren't flocking to theaters to see a particular film, it doesn't mean that it's a horrible film, it just means that people have just decided to "skip" watching it. Their loss! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Some film genres will ALWAYS have people flocking to the theaters to see them (ie. Summer blockbusters, popcorn flicks, Marvel films, etc. ) , but that doesn't automatically mean that even those films are "great" movies just because a ton of people have been encouraged to see it by mass marketing. Just like the flipside is also true.

With that said, I think "Challengers" will do fine box office-wise.

[nitrateglow]

Thoughts on The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (1962)

Time for another episode of "Nitrateglow didn't think the panned movie was that bad"... though this one isn't necessarily great either.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse was MGM's attempt to remake an old hit. In 1921, under the banner of Metro, the original Four Horsemen was a zeitgeist hit and catapulted Rudolph Valentino to superstardom. It was a lightning in a bottle kind of film, a movie about the horrors of World War I released a few years after the end of that conflict.

The basic plot, because it's late and I'm tired: A lusty Argentine patriarch has two daughters, one married to a German and the other married to a Frenchman. The old man prefers the French part of his family, which causes issues even before WWI rears its ugly head and the two families are drawn into the conflict. The focus is on Julio, the son of the Frenchman. He likes partying, has an affair with a married French woman, and is apolitical, until he isn't because drama. Then he becomes a self-sacrificing hero because personal problems aren't worth a hill of beans in this crazy world.

(That sounded bad, but it's just because I'm sleep deprived. The movie is actually very good and worth watching, I promise. It was directed by Rex Ingram, one of the strongest directors of the 1920s, and it has one of Valentino's best performances too. But crap, I'm supposed to be talking about the remake!!)

Now MGM was thinking about remaking this film as early as the 1940s, but once their 1959 remake of Ben-Hur became a smash hit, they were eager to see what other old blockbusters they could dust off. Four Horsemen was pushed into production, its time period shoved from WWI to WWII, and Vicente Minnelli put behind the camera.

Minnelli wanted to keep the WWI setting, but he was ignored. To be honest, the WWII setting isn't too problematic. The heart of the Four Horsemen story is the family drama and how events outside the family threaten to tear it asunder. Also, you still have Julio's arc from apolitical partyboy to self-sacrificing hero, so the spirit of the original is intact.

This movie isn't bad screenplay-wise due to those strong thematic cores. And Minnelli's visuals are rich as always. I particularly liked the surrealistic flourishes, like the superimposition of the four horsemen over key scenes. A bit campy, perhaps, but whatever, I liked it. And the Andre Previn score is just outstanding: epic, rousing, and romantic.

However, what brings the movie down is the casting of the lovers. Glenn Ford, good an actor as he is, is just wrong for the part. He's 46 playing a role made famous by Valentino at 26, and he's lacking in the charming impetuousness that would make the character credible. (Apparently, Alain Delon was considered but he wasn't famous enough for MGM's liking.) Ingrid Thulin is okay but not exceptional, her performance marred by lack of chemistry with Ford and some obvious dubbing over of her lines by Angela Lansbury doing a French accent. These characters should break my heart but they don't have enough passion to make me care.

It's a decent movie, but not a lost gem. And sorry, I can't help but compare it to the silent film in my head. Between the famous tango scene (not replicated in the remake-- for the best, really) and the finale in the massive graveyard, the mourners lost in a sea of white crosses... God, there's just nothing as memorable in this new version, save for the music.

[synthsays]

GUYS!!

Did I ever tell you about how I love the 1998 Miniseries "Stephen King's : The Shining" ?

It's so good!

I know a lot of people say that the book version of the shining isn't that great and that the 1980 Stanley Kubrick movie is the best adaptation of the story, but personally I disagree. Sure, the 1980 movie is great and is a genuinely good scary movie, but the backstories of the characters are practically erased to make room for the scary factors. Really large parts of the plot are rewritten as well. I think the book was great, and the miniseries is so much closer to the book plot wise, character-castings wise AND setting wise. The ending of the book and miniseries is 1000% better than the 1980's one was. ⚠ Spoilers Below ⚠ check the miniseries out on Internet Archive, the book on Libby or at the library and the 1980 movie on Vudu or else where!

In the book and miniseries Jack Torrance still has some chance at redemption, even from the beginning. Sure, the first sentence of the book is him calling his employer a prick, but that's because he was being pretty rude and picky. One of my favorite things about the book/miniseries is the croquet mallet. I don't know why but it's just so much more silly and cool than the boring axe. Croquet Mallet my beloved <3. Jack's internal conflict with his dad and alcohol problems, etc. are also really intresting to watch. The scrapbook explaining the hotel's history was very important to the whole plot, because it explained the whole reason Jack went over his breaking point, but the 1980 movie just deleted that whole post point, which is very annoying. Danny's "imaginary friend" Tony is never explained in the 1980 movie, but turns out to be Danny's older self somehow talking to him in the miniseries. I'm not sure if it says Tony was older Danny or not in the book. I'm biased but Jack Torrance is %1000000 more silly in the miniseries. I know it's controversial and that he's kind of a terrible person but he's just a silly guy when he's not trying to kill his family. The party guests... now that's a whole nother story. Wolfman is certainly an intresting character, but is clearly a scare factor. For context, Wolfman is a party guest in a wolf mask and tail that scares Danny a lot. Instead of a hedge maze, which is no where to be found in the book or miniseries, there a hedge animals, which come to life and attack Jack, Danny, and Mr. Halloran. Jack is writing a play, much like in the 1980 movie, called "The Little School" I'm not sure how much the plot of it is described in the book. Also, Jack was a teacher at a school before he was the caretaker at The Over look. I say *was* because he was fired and fighting a student in the parking lot (the student *did* slash his tires but that not and excuse ;-;) he was an English teacher and the sponsor for the speech and debate club. Wendy, now Wendy is just a silly lil gal. She's trying her best to just get by and she is just not doing to great. Obv she doesn't trust Jack with Danny too often bc Jack broke Danny's fucking arm (not *really* on purpose but he was still drunk blah blah blah) and Wendy still has her knife in the book & miniseries. She hits Jack over the head with a croquet ball instead of a bat, but croquet balls are pretty heavy so it did as much damage. Going back to Jack's problem with his dad I mentioned earlier. We find out through the book that Jack's dad wasn't the best of guys, if you catch my drift, but I think Jack still tried to impress him before he died and all. Because the hotel is rather off grid, located in the mountains, the Torrance family's only mode of communication is a CRT Radio. The hotel makes Jack hallucinate that his dad's voice is coming from the radio and that he's saying Jack is weak etc. Etc. Jack is having a pretty much mental breakdown and responds with " you're supposed to be dead! Stay Dead!" Before smashing the CRT radio with the previously mentioned croquet mallet. This cuts off the Torrance family's communication but it is also a very intriguing scene to watch. OMFG <- I just realized something.

So, the whole scene in room 217 (in the 1980 movie its a different number but I'm too lazy to look it up) Danny is strangled by the ghost/poltergeist of the lady who died in that room. So obv Danny has bruises on his neck. Jack is yelling at him from down stairs because Danny stole the room key and he wasn't supposed to do that. Cue Wendy running and and both her and Jack run up to get Danny. Once Wendy gets to Danny and sees his bruises, she immediately accused Jack of doing it. Later in the living room/common room/ whatever room Danny is still in major shock from being strangled obv and Wendy is kind of rocking him back and forth. Suddenly Danny snaps out of his trance and starts yelling "It was her it was her!" (Refering to the lady in room 217) but since he was in Wendy's lap and jumps out and runs over to Jack. Jack notices a lipstick mark on Danny's cheek (again, from the lady in room 217) and immediately turns to Wendy and asks if she did it. THIS IS WHERE MY AU COMES IN. I PRESENT...

The Role Swap AU: The Shining Edition

Wendy is the one to go insane because of her anxiety instead of Jack w/ his alcoholism.

[sleepygaymerdisease]

where does one get started with lupin i’m curious

i will always recommend the movie Castle of Cagliostro (1979) directed by miyazaki because it is the best lupin media ever in my opinion. BUT. the problem with starting here. is that it's kind of like the magnum opus. which is insane to say because it's the 3rd lupin movie ever made but it's like. ok. it's super good but the lupin characters dont ever have that same amount of depth ever again and it's not really mentioned anywhere because there's no series continuity. it's kind of like a retrospective of the series that would take place near the end of a hypothetical timeline. but there isn't a timeline. no continuity. so Technically you could start anywhere with no issues as long as you know the very basic premise. once you know the main characters you're pretty much set for anything. with varying quality. and trust me it varies a lot. to the point where i don't easily recommend it LOL. um but aside from cagliostro hmm. i really like part 1 even though theres a lot of issues with it because like, it's definitely aged but there's a lot of depth (miyazaki also worked on part 1 lol) and you can see how people became so attatched to these characters. to me its a really good mix of ridiculously silly and seriousness and dread. ok and other than that. uhhh. hm. Fuma Conspiracy is a really good movie (and a shitty rip of it is currently on youtube hehe). oh and animation-wise i'd rec Lupin III: The First (yes the name makes it a pain in the ass to talk about) but the plot is not particularly good and also theres nazis in it. theyre the bad guys but jesus christ its a lot. also disclaimer pretty much everything i listed will have guns + violence and sexism. like Extreme Sexism. i hate this stupid series sometimes. a lot sometimes. cagliostro has the least sexist portrayal of fujiko my best friend fujiko the femme fatale and theres a section on the wikipedia about fans complaining about the lack of sexualization. to give you an idea of where this is at. theres always a ton of other shit going on in the movies n shit too so lmk if you'd like any specific tws for specific medias i listed.

TLDR:

• there's no continuity so all you need to know are the characters who are always being put into situations. MAIN CAST: Lupin III, Jigen, Goemon, Fujiko, and Zenigata. gentleman thief, gunman, samurai, femme fatale, and the detective trying to stop them all. they're all crazy. that's all u need to know. congrats you're set. that being said.

• Start with Castle of Cagliostro. (which is my fav but it's different from a lot of lupin media 💔)

• after that I'd go with Part 1 i guess. it sets up the characterizations extremely well but theres also Problems and Issues.

• Fuma Conspiracy. a solid movie 👍

• Lupin III: The First. amazing animation. plot leaves more to be desired. it follows the general plot beats of cagliostro though. still havent decided how to feel about that but WOW HES 3D!!!

• after this you can do whatever you want but watch out. i dont think ive watched anything else i could rec to a normal person.

[whatyourusherthinks]

Cabrini Review

Ah fuck, it's my first Angel Studios movie. Never heard of them? Well, they are a Mormon faith-based movie company that uses crowd-funding to produce their movies. Naturally it's CEOs and film makers are all God-fearing, alt-right, dog whistle-spouting, propaganda-spreading Neo-Nazis. They're most famous for a movie that came out last year called Sound of Freedom, the "true" story about a guy who tried to end child trafficking by child trafficking. And then one of the film's funders got arrested for child trafficking. Can't fucking make that shit up. The only reason the theater I work at shows these movies is because the company and a distribution deal with Angel, the only people who come to see them are decrepit old bags who only watch to have their worst presuppositions confirmed and masochists who've lost their riding crops like myself.

TO BE FAIR, I was morbidly curious to see After Death, their documentary about proving the existence of the after life. (But it left the theaters before I had a chance to watch it.) And the premise of telling a story about a real life nun I've never heard of isn't a bad one. Glancing at Wikipedia it seems like the real life Cabrini wasn't caught grifting sick patients or stealing babies like certain other nuns. So maybe the movie is a decent retelling of the person's life. We shall see.

What's The Movie About?

This is a biopic of Francis Xavier Cabrini, an Italian nun who was the first Catholic saint from the US. The movie specifically follows a mission to New York City building an orphanage and then a hospital.

What I Like.

Cabrini was a good character in the movie. She was driven and stubborn, generally wise, kind to those less fortunate but didn't allow anyone to take advantage of her. Her plans to fund her various projects and protect her wards were pretty inspiring, not gonna lie. And I liked that they let her cry in a couple scenes and didn't give her shit for it (Even what she was crying over was kinda weird). I also like her friend Victoria, a prostitute who murdered her pimp is self defense then works with Cabrini. I was concerned that the movie makers were taking the piss releasing this on International Women's Day, but no the women characters are good. John Lithgow plays the corrupt mayor of New York who is cartoonishly evil and I kinda loved it. The set design and costuming was also pretty good. I liked all the top hats and cigars. There's some pretty neat scene transitions as well. Also the movie didn't try to pass off any reprehensible behavior as righteous, so it cleared the minimum requirement.

What I Didn't Like.

So Cabrini is a fine character in the movie, but she also has absolutely no flaws. I mean she's sickly, but that never really plays into anything in the plot or prevents her from doing anything. Actually I lied, the one part of the plot that is played into by the being chronically sick thing is she meets a doctor she becomes friends with, so her one flaw is a net positive. She's also followed around by 5 or 6 other nuns who get absolutely no characterization. I think they said one of their names once but I can't remember what it was. I also find it a bit funny that this Christian movie about a Catholic nun makes the Catholic Church a secondary antagonist. But they also try to present the story for being a bit morally grey, yet everything Cabrini does is entirely righteous and everyone trying to stop her is either racist, corrupt, or both. There was one scene where the editing made me entirely confused about where characters were, and the fact the shit started exploding didn't help. The message of the movie was "Start the Mission, God will provide the means." Not only is that just not how the world works, but the main conflict in the movie is Cabrini not having enough money to do any of the mission work she wants to do and has to convince other people to donate. "But Roan," Joe Buggknutz protests, "The means God provided were the donations from the people." But not only did Cabrini basically have to beg for all of the money, (which maybe you can argue is part of the mission but she's already taking care of orphans and supervising building places for sick and injured to go, which was her stated mission's purpose so it seems churlish to demand that she does more) but half the people she asks don't give her a cent! Thanks for coming through there God! "But- but the Lord works in mysterious ways!" Stop making excuses for your favorite imaginary friend you cuc-

Final Summation.

Cabrini is fine. If you can stomach the idea of making a glowing biopic of a missionary, you can watch this movie with no problems. I'm still not recommending it because fuck Angel Studios. But if your crazy relative sends you one of their free tickets that they try to unload on their audience, there are worse ways to spend two and a half hours.

[bigklingy]

Apologies for this temporarily turning into a Sonic blog, but since getting back into the series recently, I realized I'd posted a lot of tier lists here in the past and never did a Sonic one, so... here's one I whipped up in 10 minutes. Important note: my first Sonic game was Adventure 2, never played any of the classic games. Favourite game is Generations, gameplay-wise. Explanations: Amy: Death incarnate in SA2 multiplayer, enough said. (Also surprisingly deep when she's not flanderized) Sonic himself: Surprisingly deep when he's not flanderized. Wait. Eggman: It says something that even most who don't like the Colors-era writing STILL think his PA announcements there are perfection and in-character. Big: If you don't put him in S-Tier, he'll hunt you down, challenge you to a fishing duel, and reel in 50 Sea Guardians in a freshwater lake. (i.e, I'm in part of his "ironic fandom that gradually turned non-ironic") Gamma: Somehow, a generic mook had the deepest story in the franchise. Vector: His position is almost entirely because of the Team Chaotix theme song. Tails: I watched "Alone Again, Unnaturally" from Boom recently and it kinda summed up my thoughts on him. I was not expecting that ep to turn so wholesome at the end. Blaze: Rush is good. Being one of the only remotely playable characters in 06 (arguably even more than Sonic) is also a huge achievement. Silver: My liking for him is almost entirely ironic, sorry Silver fans. But he's the source of a LOT of 06's unintentional hilarity, and that's memorable. He's decent in the comic so far, though. Tikal: Decent plot in Adventure. Her voice is slightly annoying though. Not sure why Chaos isn't here, but he'd be low-mid B. Sticks: I've watched a bit of Boom, and she's actually pretty funny. Interested to see what comes of Frontiers confirming she's canon to the main universe. Shadow: I'M SORRY, I'm just not a huge fan. (Still looking forward to Movie 3. And hoping for Keanu Reeves playing him, but not sure that'll happen now.) Knuckles: I honestly... don't really "get" him as a character. Looking forward to playing Frontiers and seeing its take (and seeing Movie 2), might make me like him more. Metal Sonic: His position is ENTIRELY due to Heroes. Everywhere else, he's just a flat obstacle. Babylon Rogues: They're basically just jerks, but Wave is higher because her jerkishness is so extreme it's funny (mocking Tails in direct earshot of Sonic, Knuckles and Amy is a "crosses the line twice" moment to me), and her tech specialty makes her stand out. Storm is the lowest, because I sum him up as "Boom Knuckles except not funny." Eggman Nega: Why does he exist? Apparently even Ian Flynn hates him.