#like the pressure of this life and knowing I’ll never amount to anything or to anyone

[sourkitsch]

The fact that the only thing that’s kept me from killing myself the past few months is the fact that a famous art critic said that he’d be keeping an eye out for me. Thanks dude.

[boyghcst]

.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Any characters of your choosing, but how would some of the hsr characters act with a partner who loves physical touch but is too shy to initiate?

Argenti:

More then willing to initiate the physical contact if you were too shy to do so, after all it was the least he could do for you, and Argenti would do a lot for you without having to be asked.

‘All you are to do is ask my beloved rose.’ He says as he helps by gently guiding you into hugging him, smiling when you press yourself up against him and pressing your face into his chest.

‘I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’ Was your response and Argenti couldn’t help but chuckle as your thoughtfulness as he presses a kiss to your head.

‘No such thing.’ He says as he holds you against him as you both took this moment to indulge in the another. ‘I’d very much rather you express yourself however you see fit, as I’ll accept your love and affection in all it’s forms it may take because at the end of the day that love belongs to someone I love very dearly.’ He finishes and you couldn’t help but burrow your head into his neck.

‘You’re too good for me sometimes.’ You mutter against him as you felt him chuckle.

‘I can say the same for you, my beloved flower.’ Argenti replied. ‘It’s hard not to when you’ve been nothing but a beacon of hope and love for me, even in my most dire of times. Your touch alone puts me back together again and makes me stronger then ever.’ He adds as he feels you clinging onto him for dear life as he whispered in your ear to say;

‘So please don’t be dissuaded from ever touching me when it’s brought me nothing but the happiest of emotions.’

Blade:

Stays silent.

Will not move an inch.

He sees what you’re trying to do from the corner of his eyes, but won’t do anything unless you have well and truly given up on trying to initiate contact. And it isn’t until then does he huff indignantly and grabs one of your hands and puts it against one side of his face, holding it there as he stared at you with his ruby red eyes.

‘Was this what you were trying to do?’ He asks despite already knowing the answer.

‘I didn’t want you to feel as though you were pressured into to let me touch you solely because I’m your partner.’ You replied as you were about to pull your hand away from him, when you felt him tighten his grip on your hand. ‘Don’t you think I would’ve said something by now if I did?’ He rebutted with a raised brow and you felt a little silly.

Blade never failed in letting it be known if you were doing something he didn’t quite like. He didn’t need to say much but his silence followed by a certain look in his eye were more than enough to tell you that you’d better stop while you were ahead.

‘True.’ You muttered as you instinctively began stroking his cheek with your thumb, not realising that Blade was pushing more of himself into your hand, much like a cat would when scratched between the ears and humming in content. He looked cute as he did handsome in that moment where his face looked the closest it ever could to peaceful in a long time.

‘If it means anything, your touch is the least painful thing I’ve experienced in my life as far as I’m aware.’ Blade says, finally letting go of your wrist as you placed your other against the side of his face and began stroking the skin there. You then heard him groan in content, a sound of which filled you with both warmth and joy in knowing that your touch helps him find peace, even if it was a small and temporary amount, but still peace none the less.

Aventurine:

Bastard man straight up teases you for being too shy to hold his hand.

‘Hmm? Is someone too shy to even hold my hand? How devastating that must be for you.’ He’d say before grabbing your hand and pressing his palm against yours. ‘It’s as easy as this.’ He continues before intertwining his fingers with yours, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand for added effect.

‘See? That wasn’t so bad was it?’ He asked teasingly, throughly taking enjoyment in all this, when deep down he loved nothing more than to feel you holding his hand at long last. ‘Nope, not at all.’ You replied, feeling your heart going a mile an hour when you felt him squeeze your hand, followed by the caress of his thumb against the back of your hand.

‘Then don’t be afraid to hold my hand in the future, I don’t bite but I’d think you would enjoy that a bit too much even if I did.’ He teases, which was followed by boisterous laughter.

Aventurine may act like he wasn’t phased at all by your touch, when in reality he was begging for more but didn’t feel as though he was deserving of asking for such a thing. He may talk a big game but is equally as hesitant to physical affection as you were for the exact same reasonings.

He silently encourages your need to touch him by doing things that suggested that he wanted it just as badly as you, seeing as how words failed him in moments where he’s wanting something he’s made himself believe he couldn’t have. After all in his own eyes aventurine was a loser, a coward, a fraud, a cheater unworthy of any ounce of kindness nor love but the moment he felt you hold him, his mind goes blank and all he can focus on was his you hands held him as though he were porcelain.

It was his favourite feeling and whenever he sees you hesitating in giving him that oasis from his own mind, he’s quick in making himself believe that you’ve realised that he wasn’t worth your affection, and tries to force you into giving it to him by teasing you and guiding your hands to where he needed to feel your touch most; which was his face.

Aventurine may not admit it out load but he can’t fathom living without your touch, he’d probably go mad but for now he’ll keep a hold of your hand for the remainder of the day.

[slutforitoshi]

sae and rin itoshi - aphrodisiac *:･ﾟ✧

ft. sae itoshi x f!reader x rin itoshi, 18+ minors dni

cw: threesome, rin and sae literally fight over your body, f!masturbation, oral m!receiving and f!receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, cumming on face

synopsis: your hangover leads you to make the best mistake

wc: 3k

A/N: so fucking feral for this duo <3 also as for requests, i’m open to prompts but it’s not a guarantee i’ll write it T-T (please send in ideas though i’m always looking for inspo!)

you woke up with your head pounding incessantly, mimicking the music from the clubs you hopped the night before. you don’t even remember how you got home. fuck, why did you think it was a good idea to drink like you were still a freshman?

you fumble for your phone at the edge of your bed, hoping you remembered to charge it before you passed out. near the top of your notification stack was a text from your roommate.

roomie: headed back home for the weekend! i was gonna say bye but you were still knocked out lol. introduce me to your new friends again sometime, they were cute ;) 

what was she talking about? as far as you remembered you came home alone after a night out with some old high school friends that your roommate already knew. well, as far as you remembered was around 6 shots in, barely past the 1st club. 

you laid a bit longer in bed, trying to recall the events that ensued after your old friend challenged you to match her. how were you supposed to know she could outdrink any frat guy multiple times over? the night started coming back to you in flashes, like you were watching a compilation of embarrassing clips that got increasingly worse.

dancing on a table, throwing up in a bush, getting close to kissing the bartender for free drinks…was there anything you didn’t do??

the pounding in your head grew in intensity, pushing you out of bed and straight to the medicine cabinet. tylenol, tylenol, tylenol…aha there. you grab the white bottle and pop the cap open, downing two at once, dry (that’s how desperate you were for the migraine to subside).

the couch was your next destination. you felt the soft cushions and way too many pillows and plushes rest against you, giving you immediate relief from the aches in your body. see? i told you it was a good idea you said internally at your mom who was complaining how the couch decor was “excessive”.

you waited for the pills to kick in, to give you any relief from the persistent pressure that surrounded your temples. and it did…only to move down lower. it starts off as a slight pressure on your abdomen, then blossoming into heat. you weren’t innocuous at this point in life, and recognized exactly what it was: you were horny.

and the heat only grew, morphing into a roaring fire, with the incinerator located right between your thighs. you could already feel the dampness, threatening to leak past your folds onto cloth. this cannot be right. who gets aggressively horny during a hangover??

you begrudgingly hoist yourself up from the soft plushes, and make your way back to the medicine cabinet, starting to wonder if the tylenol might’ve been expired or something. the bottle itself looked normal, until you looked inside it. tylenol isn’t supposed to be pink.

you fish a pill out, looking for any engravings that might tell you what the fuck you ingested half an hour ago. libido-max. from the name of it alone (along with your still intensifying symptoms) you should’ve realized what it meant. nonetheless you resort to good old google to help explain.

“libido-max is an over the counter sex enhancement pill for women complete with a warming formula for maximized pleasure” your hand clasps over your mouth as you continue reading, “the recommended serving size is one pill as the dosage is quite strong.”

it dawns upon you that you took double the recommended amount. shit. you were definitely never drinking like that ever again. you contemplate texting your roommate why tf did you switch out the tylenol for female viagra, but decided against it. technically it was on you, too. leave it up to your dreadfully hungover self to swallow bright pink pills without thinking twice.

as you felt the temperature in your body continue to rise, there was only one method you could think of for relief. switching to incognito you pull up a porn site, settling on a video you thought would do. you skipped through all the bad acting in the intro, right into the action, desperate for some release. 

“harder…fuckk” the woman through your screen moans, and you could feel your clit throbbing in response. reaching down, you’re met with more slick than you’d ever encountered touching yourself. squelching noises echoed your room, growing louder than the sinful moans coming from the speaker of your phone.

your small fingers slid easily into sopping entrance, and the sensation was more than welcomed. small moans began to escape your lips as well, harmonizing with the other woman’s. you synchronized your fingers with the thrusts in the video, imagining it was you getting pounded, fucked so mercilessly by a thick cock.

after a particularly loud moan through your phone, you can feel it. like you’re at the edge of a cliff ready to drop before-

knock knock.

aand you lost it. grumbling, you exit out of the tab and pull up your already drenched panties. if it was another old lady trying to recruit you to join a pyramid scheme, you weren’t sure if you could resist slamming the door.

“look i’m not interested in-” instead of a short old woman with a fake smile, you’re met with a pair of teal eyes. two actually, now that you noticed the second figure behind him. 

“oh my gosh i’m so sorry, i thought you were- well nevermind um can i help you?” you stumble over your words, half out of embarrassment and half because you realized the two guys standing in front of you were attractive. 

“we stopped by to return your jacket” the one with light maroon colored hair says, holding up the familiar coat you left your house wearing last night. 

“shoot, thank you so much” you take the coat out of his hands, noticing that they’re veiny with long fingers. you try to ignore the flash of heat the observation causes.

“how did you know it was mine though?” you cautiously ask.

“oh she must not remember” the taller one says softly. your mind starts racing. what the fuck did you do in front of them?

“it wasn’t anything that bad” the one in front reassures you, seeing the panic settle on your face. “you just passed out in our apartment and we had to carry you here.”

wasn’t anything that bad??? you were mortified. you knocked out in some random (really attractive) guys’ apartment and they had to bring you back. well that explains how you got home last night then.

“oh my gosh i’m so sorry,” you replied, clearly flustered. the guys don’t give much of a response though, simply shrugging. you noticed that they were pretty expressionless.

“it’s ok, we live next door anyways” the green haired one says, looking to the right. “we were taking out the trash and came back to you on our couch. your roommate called you a bit after so we knew where to take you.”

ah, they must be the cute new friends your roommate texted you about.

before you could respond, a pair of cold hands were on your cheek (or maybe you thought they were cold because you were still under the effects of the pills).

“are you sick?” the owner of the cold hands was the maroon-haired one. you flinched away from his hands, turning an even deeper shade of pink. 

“n-no, probably just a bit hungover though” you nervously laughed, hoping they’d just accept that.

“you look like you’re burning up, maybe a fever?” the other one steps forward, taking a closer look at your flushed appearance. yeah it’s because you feel like a fucking dog in heat and having two insanely hot guys in front of you is not. helping. 

“no i promise i’m fine” you try harder to convince the duo, “i probably just need to rest up from last night…”

neither of them move from the front door, and the green haired one cocks an eyebrow. they clearly don’t believe you. 

“do you need any medicine? we should have flu medicine-” the green haired one starts.

“nope no flu medicine needed here” you let out a nervous chuckle, trying not to let your knees buckle. the knot in your abdomen grew significantly since you answered the door. you needed to cum, and soon.

“hey we don’t mind getting you some. i think your roommate mentioned she was leaving this weekend and you shouldn’t be home alone without medicine-” this time the maroon haired one is cut off.

“i promise i’m not sick” you exasperate, now having to lean against the frame for support (clearly not a good look for your case). the shorter guy’s eyebrows furrow in concern. both pairs of feet were still planted in your doorway, and you realize they weren’t leaving until you either accepted the medicine or told them the truth. 

looking back, the other option was clearly the more logical and less embarrassing one. you’d blame the hangover for the words that spilled out of your mouth next.

“it’s not because of a fever. i…i accidentally mistook sex enhancement pills for tylenol and took way more than the recommended dose,” your bit your lip, hoping they’d leave now that you were honest. the two look at each other, and the teal glint in their eyes served as a signal that they were thinking the exact same thing.

“there’s still a way we can help you though”

~~~

“rinn” you moaned as his fingers ghosted over your already pebbled nipples through the thin tank you had on. 

pleasantries and introductions were quickly exchanged as they kicked off their shoes and began undressing. you could hardly believe your ears at their suggestion, but you weren’t exactly in the position to refuse such a tempting offer. in fact, you were more than eager to accept.

now, you were draped over the couch, your head facing who you now knew as rin. sae was on the opposite end, marveling at the mess you made through your cotton shorts. 

“it’s like a fucking flood down here,” and he starts pulling at the waistband. 

rin continues to tease your nipples, never giving you enough friction. you were so responsive, even the slightest touch had your back arching. please, more, you beg internally. rin seems to recognize your pleads though and finally pulls your tank down to reveal the hypersensitive skin.

his lips are upon them immediately, sucking harshly, causing an exceptionally loud moan from you. from your half-closed lids, you could see sae’s eyes darken. as if unhappy how his brother could emit such a reaction from you. he was determined to do better.

you were fully exposed waist down now, and sae slowly runs a finger down the soaked slit, taking note of how you shivered from the action. he presses two fingers and is amazed at how easily they slip in, prompting him to add a third.

“fuck sae…so full” you moan out, which sae responds with a smirk before he starts moving his digits. in and out, in and out, and you could feel yourself tiptoeing the side of the cliff again. what does it for you is rin though.

“stop hogging her pussy” he says, rising from your chest. one of his hands move down, pausing precisely at your clit. as soon as he’s circling them you feel the push over the edge. 

“i-i’m cumming!” you scream out, followed by waves of intense moans. you weren’t sure if you’d ever cum so hard before. it took a minute for you to recover, only to see the brothers’ hands had left you.

“what the fuck rin. that was my moment” sae spat, clearly pissed he wasn’t the catalyst to your orgasm. 

“you should’ve been faster then” rin responds, a glare settled on his face. the warmth in your stomach was still growing, and you were still desperate for their touch.

“i want another” you whine, and teal orbs immediately snap back to you. right, the match was far from over. that was just the first goal.

they assume their old positions, except sae intends to use more than his fingers this time. it felt like fireworks the moment his lips hit your heat. the soft muscle of his tongue circled your clit, then moved down to dip inside the leaking hole. the added combination of the pill’s effects along with the sensitivity from your last orgasm had you bucking your hips which sae quickly restricted. he pins down your lower waist with his arm, and you could feel how strong he was. 

rin’s lips instead sought out yours, messily kissing them as he fumbled with his belt buckle. then his lips were off yours. a light push causes you to fall onto your back, and he pulls you forward abruptly so that your head is left hanging off the side of the couch. sae’s tongue never leaves you, moving forward with the pull. 

you see your first cock of the day, and it’s pretty. long and curved upwards, towards an insanely handsome face. you instinctively open your mouth, tongue slightly hanging out against your bottom lip.

“fuck, i could cum to this view” rin sighs before pushing his length into you. it almost immediately hits the back of your throat, but he pushes further. tears prickle from the invasion, but you refused to push him off you. not when he’s making such sounds.

breathy moans leave his mouth as he thrusts harshly. you could swear that alone made you grow even hotter. the sight of the bulge that forms at your neck every time he pushes in makes him delirious.  

sae utilizes his fingers with his free hand again, pressing three fingers into the entrance that happily welcomes them as he laps up the slick that continues to flow out. he curves his fingers just right, hitting the spot as if he’d known the exact blueprint of your body. and the second set of waves come.

“that’s right, cum hard for me”

even sae’s arm couldn’t hold you down as your next orgasm shook you, not that he minded. your move rin he mentally said, but rin had other concerns. your throat had gotten tighter, and the vibrations from your moans were pushing him to his own threshold. 

your mouth is hit with a new heat, coming from the man positioned above you. as much as he tried, he couldn’t contain it, and thick white ribbons hits your throat which you struggled to swallow all of. 

as he pulled out of your abused cavern though, his length still remained. it was as if the pill’s effects were contagious. 

sae had risen from his position, taking the time to free his own cock. thick was the first word that came to mind. it no doubt had a wider circumference than his brother’s, although a bit shorter. he uses his strong arms to flip you over, pulling your ass up near him. what a sight. he aligns himself at the entrance, eager to chase the next crash of waves.

usually rin would object to letting his brother take such a pretty girl first, but frankly, he had to take a break; fucking your throat left him breathless. instead he focuses his attention back towards your lips, laying more gentle kisses against them this time. 

sae was still full of need though, and rin’s soft kisses were starkly contrasted with the abrupt stretch of sae’s girth into you. your mind went into a haze, not knowing where to focus your consciousness as rin begins to knead at your hanging breasts. 

“taking cock so well” sae grumbles as the sounds of slapping skin grows “like you were fucking made for it.”

sae’s pace is merciless, and it persisted. you couldn’t fathom the extents of his stamina, seeing as how he didn’t even break a sweat. your voice began to grow hoarse from the repeated moans, and sae’s pride grew knowing he was the cause. 

“hey, mind sharing?” rin deadpans, growing impatient at his brother’s greed. he’s met with a glare, but sae begrudgingly pulls out, leaving you empty. you began to protest, but rin quickly reassures you.

“i’m right here. gonna fill you up real quick” he picks you up with ease, placing himself under your figure. his cock twitches as the tip prods your entrance, reveling in the way your slick coats him. he swiftly bottoms out in one push. sae’s previous work makes it easy for him to quickly pick up the pace, and you’re left an incoherent mess once again.

“f-feels so good rin” you stammer between thrusts. 

“wanna make you cream on my cock. need to feel you cum around me” he mutters

sae’s taken rin’s old position, lining his girth directly in your line of vision. you know what he wants and you happily open your mouth once again. sae begins his attack of new bruises against the back of your throat, relishing in the feeling as you hum in pleasure from rin’s length. 

harder, faster you think, desperate to dissipate the pool of heat in your abdomen.  

even with your mouth full, rin seems to understand you perfectly, hands gripping harder at your waist to help him reach new depths in you. your muscles began to involuntarily clamp around rin, a sign that you were looking over the cliff again. his thrusts also grow erratic as he’s close to his high. 

“f-fuckkk!” you exclaim, losing strength in your lower body. rin continues to pound through your climax, increasing his speed even more until he inevitably shoots strips of white into another tunnel of your body.

sae follows soon after, except he opts to pull out and mark your face instead. 

the three of you collapse on your couch, utterly exhausted from the intensity of the session.

before you could catch your breath though, you felt a familiar warmth start to pool once again down below. 

“still..still hot” you pant, overheating by the second. 

“you heard her rin,” and the brothers shift towards you again, ready for another match.

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

Hi! I LOVE the way u write leo valdez and was wondering if u could do an x reader fic where she gets accepted to her dream college? Im manifesting lol 🤞🤞much love xx

OMG YES I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TOO!! ANYTHING FOR YOU ANON-

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ College Girls Do It Better, Duh!!

content: leo valdez x fem! reader warning: language, like the smallest amount of angst ig, stress and anxiety (the poster children of senior year) author's note: hi little miss anon!! congratulations on being my first ask by the way!! anyways, as someone who is currently fighting for my life to get through this last stretch of senior year, I feel year. I applied to my dream college since eighth grade early decision all the way back in november and got deferred. and i know this might be hard to hear and i know i didn't believe it at the time, but it was honestly one of the best things that ever happened to me. It allowed me to take a deep dive on who i am as a person and find actually interests outside of just that school. now, i've been accepted to another college in the same city (boston girl 4 eva) with a scholarship that covers more than half of my tuition and under a major I actually want to pursue (marine biology with a minor in journalism for anyone who was curious). ANYWAYS i've yapped on long enough and you're not even here for this little ted talk of mine. please carry on and i hope you enjoy this little bad boy i whipped up.

this was it: senior year. everything added up to this. finally! we’re in the homestretch, folks! gods, on top of stopping the world from ending every other summer, y/n had to keep good grades up too. she was more than ready to trade leo’s sweaters for a cap and gown, counting down the days to graduation. a break would have been greatly appreciated but the fates were never that kind. well, they were kind enough to give her leo, so they couldn’t be all that bad in her eyes. though, the pressure was starting to make y/n crack in ways she didn’t expect; the pressure that comes with college acceptances and, sadly, rejections. she felt like she was falling behind a bit, a lump growing in her throat and her chest tightening at every acceptance letter her friends got. of course, she was overjoyed for them and she’d buy them cupcakes and celebrate their accomplishments but she couldn’t help but wonder when it would be her turn. i mean, she slaved away over her college essay, she maintained the best grades she could, did all of the extracurriculars she could manage, on top of being a two-time saver of the world. something she, sadly, could not tell colleges. well, she told new rome university, but she figured they got a lot of letters like that. but, for now, y/n just waited…and waited…and then waited some more just for shits and giggles. 

“today’s the day, right?” jason questioned as he walked with y/n towards their civics class. y/n swallowed thickly, nodding her head, although a bit reluctantly. 

“y-yeah, early decision round two comes out today for new rome. now, no more talking about it or i’ll pass out," y/n told him and jason laughed, bumping his shoulder with her gently. 

“come on, give yourself a fair shake. they’d be stupid not to-” 

“don’t jinx it!! go find some wood to knock on, sparky,” the girl ordered in a panic and jason quickly rapped his knuckles against a door as they passed, the poor ceramics teacher peeking her head out to find no one waiting. 

“okay, okay, no bad juju,” y/n muttered to herself following the boy's actions, taking a few calming breaths. jason gave her a sympathetic look as they took their seats, rubbing his hand gently over her tense shoulders. their eyes both went to the empty seat next to y/n before turning to each other with tiny smirks. 

“i bet he’ll get here just as the bell rings,” mused y/n, trying to rid herself of her anxiety with humor. jason pretended to think it over, before holding his hand out. 

“nah, he’s gotta be at least ten minutes late today,” countered jason and y/n shook his hand with a determined look. as the pair's eyes stayed locked on the clock, mere seconds before the bell would ring, leo came waltzing to the class, an iced coffee held in one hand and his keys swinging around in the other. mr. wright glaring at the boy, knowing he couldn’t give him the tardy he so desperately wanted to. leo made his way to his seat, kissing y/n’s cheek as he sat. y/n’s smile widened and her stress and anxiety began to melt away. 

“for little miss smartie pants here,” he hummed, sliding the drink in front of her with a wink. y/n took a sip, shaking her head at him as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. 

“lots of talk coming from someone who’s already been accepted with honors,” replied y/n, jokingly glaring at him though she couldn’t stop a proud smile from spreading over her lips. leo had a habit of underestimating himself and when he got accepted into new rome university on a scholarship to boot, he couldn’t really ignore it anymore. y/n was his number one supporter, buying him shirts and lanyards and pennant flags. leo rolled his eyes, slinging his arm over the back of her seat. 

“they’d be stupid not to accept-” 

“knock on wood right now!! what is with you guys trying to curse me?!” y/n bit out, shoving the boy in the direction of the wooden desk. leo knocked his knuckles against it whilst sharing a look with jason, who just shrugged. 

“i’m just saying-” 

“mr. valdez! if you’re just going to show up to disrupt my class, do not continue to show up!” mr. wright called, narrowing his eyes at the trio. 

“sorry, mr. wright, but i do kinda need this class to graduate. if i didn’t, i guarantee you i would not be here right now,” joked leo, earning laughs from the rest of the class. mr. wright’s eye twitched as he stared at the boy before grumbling under his breath and returning to his lecture. leo held his head high after that, knowing he’d won for today. 

the rest of the day seemingly flew past, y/n anxiously and constantly checking her email. after lunch, she sort of relaxed, somehow managing to convince herself that the email wasn’t going to come today and she’d just worry about it some other day. but, as she sat in her seventh period class, her phone buzzed on her desk. she didn’t think anything of it, determined to finish another math problem before she allowed herself a phone break. then her phone buzzed a few more times, her attention being dragged away from her math homework at the borderline constant buzzing. she huffed, picking up her phone before her eyes went wide and her breath tumbled out of her lips. 

there on her phone she had an email from new rome university which read, ‘today’s the day! log into your student portal as your status has been updated.’ under that, and the root of the near constant buzzing, were texts from all her friends. leo was typing in all-caps, something about running to her class at the moment. her group chat with frank, hazel, and piper, the three other people who applied in the same decision group as her, had multiple texts about wanting to throw up and being too nervous to open it. annabeth had sent a text too, something about y/n being one of the smartest and sweetest people she knew and no college acceptance or rejection could change that. 

ignoring all of them and feeling like she was in a haze, y/n unlocked her phone and got to work logging into her student portal and watching the spinning circle as she waited for it to load. bam! welcome screen, nothing new so far. y/n continued to breath, though she knew it was unsteady as she placed a hand against her chest, hoping to regulate her rapid heartbeat, which she could feel in her toes and hear in her ears. then she noticed a little hyperlink, informing her that her status had been updated. her finger hovered over it as hazel updated that she’d been accepted, promptly being followed by frank and piper. y/n squeezed her eyes shut, swiping away their messages and slamming her finger down onto the link. more waiting and then it finally loaded. she scrolled slowly, wanting to ease herself into rejection…

dear y/n l/n, 

on behalf of new rome university, we are pleased to inform you that you’ve been accepted. congratulations! furthermore, we’d like offer you a scholarship for academic integrity, blah blah blah 

wait- did that say accepted?! y/n’s eyes did a double take, which was growing increasingly more difficult as tears were starting to pool. her hands shook and she promptly stood up from her chair, muttering about needing the bathroom to the teacher before basically bolting out of the class. she moved quickly down the hall, her eyes darting around wildly until she heard the stomping of feet and the squeak of rubber on linoleum. leo rounded a corner at the other end of the hall, his eyes instantly focusing on the girl, on his girl. without a second thought, the two of them sprinted to each other, basically slamming against the other as they met in the middle. leo’s arms wrapped around her frantically, unsure of the verdict but wanting her in his arms either way. y/n curled into him easily, crying against his shirt, tears of joy but he didn’t know that. 

“so?” leo whispered after a moment, cupping her tear-stained cheeks and looking down at her with what could only be described as unfiltered love. y/n looked at him before cracking a small smile through her tears. 

“i got in. i- i got in, oh my gods, i got in!” she stated, growing more excited everytime she said it.

“duh! my clever girl! ooh, my clever college girl!” leo cheered, smirking down at her. y/n laughed, shoving him off as she reached up and wiped away some of her tears. 

“whatever, you absolute hammer head.” 

“there’s no getting rid of me now, baby. you’re stuck with me. wooo, we’re going to college together!” added leo, smiling down at her in genuine excitement. y/n looked up at him and leo could have sworn his bmp spiked, even after all these years. 

“wouldn’t have it any other way,” she mused, reaching up and cupping his face before pulling him down so she could press her lips against his. easily, his hands found her waist and pulled her closer, as her arms draped over his shoulders.

the bell rang, school being out for the day, and as students flooded the halls, leo let go of his girlfriend and cupped his hands around his lips, screaming: “MY HOT ASS GIRLFRIEND JUST GOT ACCEPTED INTO A PRESTIGIOUS ASS SCHOOL! THAT’S MY GIRL RIGHT THERE!”

author's note cont. : I know what your all thinking, how could she possibly have more to say?!?! HA you underestimate my ability to yap. anyways, on a more serious note, I'm wishing you, anon and anyone else who needs to hear it, the best of best luck with colleges and whatnot. They'd be stupid to reject you and i'll proudly shove you all in my suitcase and take you to college with me. jk...unless. No, fr tho, don't let a rejection define you! Fate is fickle and will find a way to treat you to the life you deserve, don't forget it!! Anyways, now that I spent my whole night slaving away over this, I am off to bed, hope you guys enjoy and have great days!!

[janeyseymour]

La Cosa Nostra- pt 5

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

cowritten with @schemmentis let us know what you think! 🤍

summary: the girls spend some time with nonna while you get a few moments with melissa... and then someone visits you late at night.

WC: ~4.15k

“With—” You blink slowly as your wife’s words sink in. “With Barbara Howard?!”

“She’s the safest place and you know it. They’ll never think she knows anything because she doesn’t. Hell, she asked me if we were committin’ fraud, Y/N. I only told her the truth; we aren’t and it’s an extra copy of the financials and they were gonna take the originals from the salon. They did, didn’t they?”

“Of course they did, they took everything that wasn’t nailed down. But Barbara? If she finds out the truth, Mel—”

“She won’t.”

“If she does,” You barrel on over your wife speaking. “You and I both know she’ll turn it over to the Feds. And…we’ll probably lose her in both our lives- the girls’ lives… It won’t matter how much she loves you or me or the girls. Barb is all about the right thing no matter what.”

Melissa’s hand runs through her hair, pushing it away from her face. “That won’t happen, alright? We just have to get through this. Eventually they’re gonna realize there’s nothin’ here, and they’re gonna fuck off. Then I’ll take the ledgers back from Babs and everything will go back to normal.”

You sink back into the couch cushions, sighing heavily. You want to believe your wife. You want to think that’s true. Except the amount of pressure from the Feds just the last two days is more than you’ve ever had to deal with. You might have Sammy representing you, who is just as confident as your wife that they won’t find anything at all, except you can’t help but think they will. 

Every day this drags on, every bit of extra pressure put on, it’s beginning to wear at you. You grip Mel’s hand lightly, inspecting the newly wrapped injury all over again though you don’t undo your own work. Your thumb lightly strokes her knuckles before bringing the bandaged hand up to your lips in an effort to comfort her and you both. You’ll never give up Mel or your girls. You won’t endanger them.

Still, a part of you wonders if it would be safer for them if you gave up yourself. You could go back down to the station, request Agent Danik and Shaw, return to that godforsaken gray interrogation room and tell them everything. You wouldn’t cop to killing Bobby, because you didn’t, but you could come clean about the salon if it means it would get them away from Mel and your twins…it would be worth it, wouldn’t it?

Melissa’s arms wrap around you as she curls into your side. Her head rests on your shoulder. “You barely got any sleep last night and after today…I won’t say no to a nap. Ma called me to let me know she’s getting the girls…we could rest awhile and head over there for dinner.”

Instantly, thoughts of giving yourself up shift into fighting for yourself instead. With your wife curled against you, and thoughts of dinner with your mother-in-law and your girls. You wouldn’t give up for the world this little life of yours. 

You turn your head to kiss Melissa’s hair, gently easing the both of you to lay on your couch as you return her embrace. “Best idea you’ve had our whole marriage.” You tease, already half asleep.

It earns you a light slap to your arm. “Yeah, right. We both know the best idea of our marriage was the girls.”

“Yeah,” You mumble, your fingers lazily carding through red locks. “You’re right.”

“I usually am, amore, I thought you knew that already.”

You can’t even bring yourself to argue or call her over confident. You only smile, warming over with your affection for your wife like it’s the first time all over again. You never get tired of that feeling.

After a nap that perhaps was a bit too long for your liking, you blink your eyes awake to see that wonderful woman you get to call your wife scrolling on her phone as she continues to lay on you.

“How’s your hand feeling, mo ghrá?” you ask her gently as you kiss her temple softly.

“Hurts like a bitch,” Melissa sighs. “But I’ll be okay. You know I always am.”

“I know, I know,” you chuckle lowly. It didn’t happen often, but when she first opened her restaurant, the nicks and cuts to her fingers and knuckles were more frequent because she was always flying around trying to handle everything all at once. The number of times it's happened since she settled into her role and the business took off dwindled, but each time it happened you were always there to wrap her hands and nurse them back to health.

“What time is it?” you ask as you stretch just slightly, but you can’t with her still on top of you.

“5:30,” she replies. “Ma has the girls eating dinner right now I’m sure.”

“I suppose we should go be mothers to our children,” you sigh softly as your hand settles on her forearm and rubs it soothingly.

Melissa puts down her phone, and when you think she’s going to slide off of you, she only curls further into you.

“Ten more minutes,” the woman requests quietly. Her grip tightens on you. “Just ten minutes of the two of us... I don’t know how much longer we have.”

There it is- as much as she tried to convince you that you were going to be fine with your church friend holding onto the books, she’s terrified- terrified of losing you for an uncertain amount of time, maybe forever if things take a turn for the worst and your fate turns out to be the same as Bobby’s.

You oblige her request, pressing yet another soft kiss to her temple before holding her tightly against you. The two of you together silently pray that everything works out in your favor, you’re able to evade the feds over this debacle, and continue on with life. You contemplate how you can get yourself out of the mob, how she can get herself out of the mafia, and you can leave this dark world that you know. Unfortunately you know that the only logistical way out of this all is death- or to fake your deaths. But you still hope and pray that you can find a way out- if only for your daughters. They don’t deserve to grow up with two parents always putting them at risk and then to have to take on your debts once you are no longer walking this earth with them. You want them to have a chance to go to Heaven, because if Heaven and Hell are real and true... you and your wife are almost certainly going to Hell.

Those ten minutes pass by almost silently, aside from your breathing, and then you sigh, “We really should go over to your ma’s and spend some time with the girls.”

“We should,” Melissa smiles softly as she lifts her head from the crook of your neck. She kisses you gently. “Ti amo, mi amore.”

“Tá mé i ngrá leat,” you reply just as softly, mumbled against her lips.

She’s up and off of you a few seconds later, offering you a hand to help you off the couch. The two of you quietly make your way out to the car and drive off in the direction of the matriarch of the family and your girls.

“Mam!” Rosie runs as fast her little legs will take her towards you. You scoop her up in a hug and press a million little kisses to her still chubby cheeks.

“Mommy!” Cat echoes as she runs for Melissa. Your wife crouches down with open arms and is nearly taken to the ground at the force of your oldest twin daughter. 

“Gentle, my love,” the redhead says softly as she sweeps your little girl off her feet and props her on her hip- the right hip as opposed to the left that Cat usually sits on.

Ever the observant, the little girl crinkles her nose just slightly in a way that screams Melissa. “Why am I on this side?” she asks.

“Mommy can’t hold both of you for a bit again,” you say softly. “She cut up her fingers again at the restaurant.”

“Silly Mommy,” Rosie chirps from your own hip. She leans over in your hold to press a kiss to Melissa’s cheek while Cat sloppily kisses your own.

“Girls! I told you to say hello to your mothers and then come back to finish your meals!” You can hear Melissa’s mother from the dining room. Both girls make faces that clearly say, ‘Oops!’ before giggling.

You and your wife carry the girls back into the room with all of the food and set them down in their chairs before leaning down to kiss Melissa’s mother’s cheeks before sliding into your own chairs.

“Oi, Lissa,” the older woman groans. “Cut yourself again, did you?”

“It was an accident, Ma!” the redhead groans.

“You need to stop flying around that restaurant of yours,” her mother scolds lightly as she scoops out rather large portions of the ribollita. “Everything will get done in time, and you need to take care of yourself!”

Dinner is loud, as it always is, and then you find yourself holding both of your girls on the couch while Melissa and her mother clean up dinner and prepare to bring dessert into the living room. Both girls chatter on about how their days at school went, and it’s quite hard to keep up with who is saying what, but you do your best to keep their stories straight.

Once you’ve all had your share of dessert, you stand, both girls on your hips. “I think it’s about time we get the girls home and to bed... I promised a story last night, and while I couldn’t keep it yesterday, I’m here tonight.”

Both girls yawn against you as Melissa slings both of their book bags over her shoulder before you all bid her mother a goodnight. 

You're tucking the girls securely into their car seats in the back when you hear a shout. “Oi! Youse left your bag, Lissa!”

You glance over your shoulder to see your mother-in-law leaning out the door with your wife's large purse. She's always carried too big of one since the day you met. You glance back to Melissa in the passenger seat. She looks exhausted but is about to open her door to get back out of the car.

“I got it.” You say, stopping her short. You smile at her question if you're sure. You lean between the front seats enough to kiss her. “Anything for you.” You whisper. “You know that.”

You turn and jog back up the sidewalk from the driveway to the front door. Your fingers curling around the handle next to Melissa’s mothers. “Thanks, Ma. You know she'd be lost without her bottomless bag.”

She smiles at you, though her fingers do not release her daughter's bag. She uses the handle to gently tug you closer. 

“I'm hearing whispers, Y/N.” She says lowly. “Ya know things ain't good when the gossip starts reaching the old folk like me.” 

“You're not old.” You reflexively say. It earns you a smile that mirrors your wife's from the older woman.

“I said it the day you married Lissa. I'll say it again today. Take care of my girl, Y/N. She chose you. Don't turn that into a mistake. You know I hate cleaning up mistakes.”

You answer exactly the same as you did on your wedding day. With a smile and, “Always, Mrs. Schemmenti. Takin’ care of your daughter is the only thing I care about.” You lean forward to kiss both her cheeks in goodbye. “And now your granddaughters.” You add softly before making your way back to the car.

“What’d she say?” Melissa asks as soon as you slip into the driver’s seat. You gently set her bag in her lap.

“Nothin’.” You answer swiftly as you back the car down the driveway and out onto the street.

Melissa scoffs next to you. “Yea. she said somethin’, what was it?” Your wife presses as she reaches for your hand resting on the gear shift.

You tangle your fingers with hers, kissing her knuckles. “Only what she’s said to me since the first time she met me.” You assure softly.

“Take care of my daughter.” Melissa says in time with you repeating her mother’s words. You nod, pressing an extra kiss to her hand before you lower it slightly to simply hold it in your own.

“Y’know she loves you more than anythin’.” You murmur, squeezing her hand lightly.

“Hm.” Melissa hums, her eyes on the street lamps passing as you drive your little family home. “Maybe not more than Mickey. He is the baby of the family and all.”

“How much longer till he’s out? It’s gettin’ close ain’t it?”

“Early next year, I think. I’ll double check next time we go up for a visit. Those damn letters take too long.”

“You’ll make sure you tell him I said hi, huh?”

Melissa rolls her eyes at your request. They slide away from street lamps, to the ceiling of your car, to land on you. “Y’know, I always do. He loves you almost as much as I love you.”

“Uh huh, my backup Schemmenti.” You tease with a smile. Yours and Melissa’s brother’s inside joke. He always said if she was dumb enough to divorce you, he’d propose so you could keep the last name and still come to family dinners. 

“Yea, yea, backup Schemmenti that you ain’t ever gonna need.” Melissa mutters. A moment later her hand is pulling away from yours when you slow the car for the red light. Her fingers lightly gripping your jaw to get your head to turn to kiss you properly for a drawn out moment. She pulls away when the light turns green again. “Mickey ain’t ever gettin’ to do that. Not even over my dead body.” She huffs.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

“Shut up and get me home. I’m tired.”

You do end up getting all four of you home in one piece, and for that, Melissa is grateful. She grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder before carefully removing Rosie from her carseat. You do the same with Cat. If you can get the two of them into bed without them waking up, life will be so much easier. 

By some miracle, you do get them into the house and in their rooms without them waking up. You then take your wife’s hand and lead her into the bedroom, only to see that your room is still flipped upside down from when the police had raided.

You groan. You really don’t feel like lifting the heavy safe off your bed and attempting to get it back into the floorboard. You do so though, before crawling into bed yourself. Melissa slides in next to you, turning on her side so that she can get as close to you as possible, resting her head on your chest. 

“When do you think this is all going to be over?” she whispers to you.

You look down to see her face being lit by the moonlight and the one street light that flickers outside of the window overtop your bed. 

You shrug and kiss her temple. “Níl a fhios agam,” you sigh. “Níl a fhios agam.”

She hates that you don’t know. She hates that she doesn’t know either. 

Both of you are usually so in control of everything that happens around you. The last time that you weren’t in control and your worlds were turned upside down is the day that the doctor told you you were carrying twins- and even that level of uncontrollable circumstances stemmed from a choice you had deliberately made.

 Melissa remembers the day that she had broken down in tears, consumed by her worry for you. She was absolutely terrified that there would be complications in the pregnancy because carrying multiples was almost always more dangerous than just a single baby. She was absolutely paranoid that somebody from either family would get you caught up in their own business, and that something would happen to you and the two unborn babies inside of you. The next day, she went to Thursday morning mass and prayed with Barbara for your safety and well-being. The day that you had safely delivered those two beautiful girls of yours and all three of you were healthy was a relief to her. But even then, thoughts of fear lingered.

Melissa also remembers the day when your belly had popped, and it made you a hormonal mess to see that you were actually carrying now. You had cried to her your own fears and doubts of your safety, their safety, that you weren’t quite sure if you were ever meant to be a mother. She remembers the way that you had clung to her in a moment of weakness as you choked out that while having children and becoming a mother was all you had ever wanted since you were little, you couldn’t believe that you were bringing two little ones into this cruel world. She recalls holding you that whole day, assuring you that not a hair on your head would be touched, that your unborn children were going to be safe and more loved than any other children, and that you were absolutely going to be the best mam to your babies. Those thoughts never quite dissipated throughout the months of your pregnancy. But once you had laid your eyes on those little girls squirming and crying on your chest, you knew that she was right- that you were all safe, at least for the time being, and Caterina Ann and Rosalina Marie were going to grow up with more love than they knew what to do with.

But this? The feds were on you for something that you had no part in, and if they continue to dig it’s only a matter of time until you get caught as part of the mafia and the mob. There are too many moving pieces for either of you to say with certainty what’s to happen in the future. There is no safety net or light at the end of the tunnel that you can see. These circumstances were absolutely, one-hundred percent, out of your control. And that? That horrifies Melissa.

You hold your wife tightly to your chest, your hand tracing mindless patterns across her spine to provide what comfort you can. Eventually, you hear her breathing even out into deep and slow breaths as she slips off to sleep. 

Your own eyes trail over the ceiling of your bedroom. What can you do? You're turning the entirety of the situation over in your mind repeatedly, trying to find the answer. You search for even something little to grasp, to control- even if it's just enough to provide some sense of stability and comfort to your wife. You don't really care if you get any; you'll deal with the fears and worries if it means Melissa is content and happy. 

You don't know when you do finally fall asleep. It feels like five minutes is as long as you've slept when you're startling back awake.

“What the fuck?” Melissa is grumbling as she pulls away from your side.

It takes another moment of you blinking sleep from your eyes to process. There's another round of banging at your front door, which must have been what woke you. Your bedroom is still dark, the only light seeping through being the light that radiates off the moon. Miraculously, the banging on the door hasn't woken up the girls, and you thank God for that. If they wake, you truly don’t know what you’d tell them.

It takes a heap of effort but you pull yourself from your bed to trail after your wife. You're just making it to the end of the hall to the living room when she's yanking open the front door in the midst of more knocking.

“Che cazzo fai?” Melissa spits as soon as the door is open. “It's not even five in the fuckin’ mornin’ and I got two kids sleepin’, what's wrong with you? Vai ai cacare!”

“Mrs. Schemmenti.”

You want to groan and bang your head into the wall when you hear Agent Shaw's voice. You're so tired. Somehow Agent Shaw sounds like he's had a full night of perfect rest. You can feel both you and your wife wearing thin. You know it's exactly what they want- to push you to the limit, force a mistake.

You trudge across the floor to stand behind Melissa. By now, your wife has deteriorated to rapid-fire Italian that you know is definitely only anger and insults. Agent Shaw is holding a packet of papers out that she hasn't taken in order to also be speaking with her hands. Usually, you would find her bigger than life and fiery personality and gestures adorable, but now you wish she would just take the papers. You reach past Melissa to take the papers from the agent who has blessed you with a home visit at 4:45 in the morning.

You sigh as you skim read the papers. You want to put your forehead to Melissa's shoulder even if it would jostle you with her gestures. It's a search warrant for her restaurant. You want to but you don't. You don't want Agent Shaw to see you in any more of a weaker state than you’re already showing him, half awake and absolutely exhausted after taking care of your girls. It’s not only a search warrant for Melissa's restaurant, but they're executing on a Friday- one of the busiest days for the business.

You put a hand on Melissa's shoulder in hopes of calming her down, even just slightly. With the amount that she’s cursing and shouting at this man, you’re afraid she’ll either pass out or wake up your girls. Neither option seems like a great one. But she's run out of words to spit at the agent still on your doorstep. The redhead takes a deep breath at the feel of your hand.

“Go,” you say, gathering by now that they need her to let them into the restaurant. “I'll call Sammy and tell him to meet you there. I'll make sure the girls get to school, okay?” you say softly. 

Your hand squeezes her shoulder. You make sure you kiss each of her cheeks before you kiss her lips properly. You hope the affection takes her anger down a notch or two, mostly for Agent Shaw's sake, truly. 

Reluctantly, Melissa is shoving on shoes and pulling a coat over her outfit from yesterday. You'd both been so tired you hadn't even bothered changing before all but crawling into bed. She grumbles about the fashion faux pas as she stomps down your porch to follow Agent Shaw to the car. 

You shut the front door only once you see the black car pull out of your driveway and down the street. Your forehead presses to the wood. “Fuck,” you whisper to no one but yourself. You force yourself to pull away from the front door and lock it once more.

It takes you a minute to track down where you left your phone. You struggle to remember little things of the last couple days. You rub your forehead as you listen to the ringing. Just as it's about to go to voice-mail you hear Sammy's groggy voice answer.

“They're searching Mel’s restaurant,” You sigh in place of pleasantries. “She just left with one of the agents to let them in.”

You don't even get the chance to ask Sammy to meet them there. He's saying he will before he hangs up without saying goodbye. If you were awake you'd have rolled your eyes at him. Except right now, you just appreciate his swift action and hope he can manage your wife and protect her for a few hours until you can get there after you drop the girls off.

You move back down the hall, barely able to lift your feet up from the carpet. You slip into the girls’ room, gently lifting them both from their beds. They don't wake up but curl into each of your shoulders. You carry them back to yours and Melissa's bed, curling up with your little twins like Melissa had the first night you'd been stuck at the station. Except you at least have the blessing of knowledge of where she is and what is wrong. Your eyes are so heavy though, you can't fight sleep even with the worry still filling you. 

tags: @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @dvrkhcld

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Series

sinag | psh.

chapter nine

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

synopsis: waiting for a great plot twist in your life, the ruthless and powerful mafia boss park sunghoon forced his way in to it.

word count: 3.5k

warnings: contains harrassment, violence, guns, killings, abuse, obsessive love & other stuff. if you can't take this stuff, feel free to scroll away. let me know if i missed some.

note: hi guys, please send me feedbacks about the fic. i would really like to hear from you. anyway, enjoy reading! ily, stay safe.

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.

The man laying at the cold concrete floor crawled slowly, trying to escape from his own death. He grunts as he felt his body aches because of all the beatings he just had. His face almost unrecognizable because of the amount of bruises and blood covering all over.

“P-Please,” his plea came out as a mumble as his lips already felt numb. When he saw a pair of shoes in front of him that have blood stains over it, of him he trembles in fear as he slowly raised his head up to look at the person standing proudly while looking down at him.

His hair soaked in mixed blood and sweat and was pushed back a bit messy but that didn't even made him less attractive. The fine man have this placid look plastered over his face, showing no remorse and inch by inch losing his patience. Dark and dangerous, that’s what his full aura gives off making the man lose his shit.

“Do you even hear yourself? A fucking mafia,” he scoffed humorless.

“pleading?” his tone completely sarcastic and full of insult but the man at the cold ground don’t even care about any of that. All he can think of is to make it out here alive. To earn his mercy.

“I’ll d-do anything. Just don’t kill me.” he once again plead.

In all honesty, the man doesn’t even know the point of begging him nonstop to spare him. He knew very well who's this powerful young mafia in front of him. Park Sunghoon. If wrath and ruthless will be a person, he will surely pass to be the main epitome of it.

He’s known for his arrogant personality. He have short patience and can act wrecklessly whenever he feels like to. Just a mere mention of his name, everyone instantly assumed that there is trouble and death.

The amused grin of the person in front of him fell and he’s surprise at how fast the young man changed his expressions. Now, his eyes were dead and blank once again while he eye him.

“I would’ve spared you if you only gave me the information I want from you.” he uttered coldly.

“I already told you, I didn't know that girl! Hell, I didn’t even saw that face of her in my entire life.” his tone slightly raising because of frustration and pressure of having his life in line just because of a girl he had never seen in his whole life.

The man kept his blank face, unconvinced with his words. His men that are standing a few feet away from him shows nothing but ignorance. They stood silence while they watch their boss mercilessly beat him like an animal.

“Do you think I’m lying? I can never forget such face if I already laid eyes on her! She’s beautiful--” his sentence was caught off as a bullet was suddenly fired over his head, causing him to lost his life. Sunghoon didn’t even blink or flinch as the loud bang echoed inside the room.

“You run your mouth too much.” he mumbled and even gave the poor man’s head a kick before he turned around to light himself a cigarette.

He puffed once as his jaw clenched hardly, his men now started to clean the whole place. He was trying to calm himself down when suddenly, his phone rang.

“Yeah?” he greeted then took another puff from his cigar.

“Dude, where the fuck are you? Jake and I are gonna meet tonight.” his friend, Jay, was the person calling.

He shut his eyes and bit his lower lip out of frustration. He can feel his inside trembling in anger and all other negative emotions that he’s trying to suppress inside him taking over his mind.

“Dude?” his friend called out when he didn’t respond.

“I can’t today. I'm out of the country.” he answered. The person from the other line grew silent for a while before he heaved a sigh.

“You’re searching for her again, am I right, Hoon?”

Of course, his friend knew what he’s doing. They’re probably already used to it by now. If ever he went away and went missing in action, it only means he’s searching for this girl. His girl.

He was so ready to hear an earful from his friend once again. Out of all of them, he was the one who disagrees on him searching for this girl like a mad man. If he isn’t his friend, he might’ve planted multiple bullets to his head already.

“She visited my dream again, Jay. I couldn't sleep for days. I n-need to fucking find her or I’ll really lose my mind any time soon.” Sunghoon said then threw the lit up cigarette over the floor before running his hand over his hair.

His friend sighed, “It's been years, Hoon. Don’t you think if she really exist, you should’ve find her by now?”

This isn’t the first time his friend tried to knock up sense into his brain but Sunghoon was very much determine to find you. He’s a man of principles and the type of person who stands up for his own beliefs. He won’t just surrender and he will prove him that he was right. If he may search the whole world, he will.

“I have to go, Jay.” he said coldly, dismissing any more of his friend’s plan to stop him from his crazy decisions. Before he can even complain, he ended the call and just roamed his eyes around.

A room full of dead bodies. A familiar scene for him already. He was told that the man he just killed may had known the girl he was looking for but here he is, disappointed again not to get any information about you. Sunghoon’s eyes grew colder at the feeling of having a blank space in him. He knew that the only person who can fill it was you and nobody else.

“Boss, the car is ready.” Sunghoon’s head look over to his shoulder when Icarus called out his attention.

He shut his eyes for a while before he tilted his head over to the side then slowly walked out the place. His broad shoulder were hanging low as his eyes grew colder as he take steps further outside. Once again, he was disappointed. He doesn't know why he even always raise his expectations at these things when he know clearly that the ratio of finding you was low.

“Where to, boss?” his driver asked.

Sunghoon’s eyes were shut close, trying to calm himself and give his mind some peace even though he knew he’s slowly losing it. He fluttered his eyes open as he looked over the window. The bright city lights are the first who greeted him, they seem fancy but he doesn't care.

“Take me to the nearest bar.” he ordered and his driver just quietly muttered an ‘Right away, boss.’ and followed his order.

On the other hand, you arrived at the country where the seminar will be held. The hotel seems very fancy, clearly the company have budget for this trip. They also booked you a four day trip even though the seminar will be in just one day. Over all, you just planned to enjoy this trip as much as you could.

The plane ride was not so bad, but you couldn’t even take a nap out of all the overthinking you did the whole duration. When you arrived the hotel, they assist you right away and even had staffs aligned to welcome your arrival. It was a little odd and overwhelming, but you just shrugged it off.

Luke wasn’t happy about this trip. When did he ever been happy about your achievements anyway? It didn’t surprise you anymore. At this point, you’re just fed up with his immature behaviors.

Seems like overthinking got you all riled up because despite the night falling deeper, you found yourself unsleepy. After taking a very refreshing shower, you found a card at the center table. It was a pass for this exclusive bar just beside this very hotel. Thinking that having a few drinks may help you to sleep, you decided to go check it out.

It didn’t disappoint you as the ambiance of the whole place is relaxing. Although there are just some weird feeling inside you. Like something’s ain’t right.

“Did you hear anything from Luke?” you bit your lower lip as you wait for your friend to answer your question. One hand holding your phone over at your ears while the other one played over the glass of liqour.

“No... Are you still not okay?” she asked from the other line.

You pursed your lips and let go of the glass before carefully caressing your forehead. You rested both of your elbows at the bar counter and pursed your lips.

“He’s still mad, I guess?” you mumbled and lowered your shoulder then started playing with the glass again.

Your friend scoffed, “Why would he be mad anyway? You went there because of work. It isn't like you went there for a vacation!” Lucie hissed and you know she have a point.

“You're right but I also kind of forgot to tell him before my trip. I happen to remember the day of my flight.” you said. The other line went silent for a while before your friend let out a sigh.

“Well, okay. But at least he needs to understand and be supportive. You’re finally facing your fears!” her tone got excited once more. A small smile appeared over your face.

“Yes. Finally. I just hope everything won’t turn like how it used to be before.”

She sighs, “Stop overthinking, okay? If anything happens, you can call me. I will catch the next flight to you right away!”

That made you feel so much better. Lucie really does care and very sweet. You are very thankful for a friend like her. Someone very reliable and trustworthy.

“Just think of it as a small get away from all the stress.” she tries to comfort you that its okay to be here right now. That everything will be just fine.

“All right. How about you? Are you okay alone there?” you asks a little worried to leave her alone for the first time ever since you two started living togther.

She chuckles, “Of course! I’m not five, okay? Anyway, just think of yourself. Reflect on your life and appreciate that you are finally at the best point of your life.”

“Am I?” you murmured under your breath. It was low so you knew she missed it.

You gulped trying to get rid of the lump over your throat. You are thankful for everything that you have right now. A stable job, good friends, parents (although they’re mostly just there to ask money from you), and a boyfriend. You know you should be contented at it but at some point, you feel like something’s not right... like something’s missing.

“Y/n... stop overthinking and enjoy.” she said, more like a reminder.

At the end, you had no other choice but to oblige to what she said. You are already here and maybe the fear of being in a foreign country again gets into you too much. Its making you overthink everything.

As you continue your chitchat with your friend, your eyes unconsciously darted over to these group of men that just made its entrance to the bar. They were wearing uniforms that were similar, like some bodyguards or something and they have this weird vibe.

You shrugged it off and just diverted your attention back to your glass of liquor. Thankfully, you shut the topic off and decided to talk about something else. You chuckled as you listen to your friend’s funny story, unaware of the pair of eyes who are piercing at you.

Sunghoon was at dazed. He feels like his mind was floating or something while he watch you converse over your phone. He doesn't know if its the desperation, (clearly can’t blame the alcohol since he just arrived) that cause him to start seeing things.

Is he really going out of his mind? Did he lose it? Sunghoon wonders, but his eyes never left your direction. He’s afraid that you’ll disappear, even if it really is his hallucinations, he don’t want to risk it.

“Icarus...” he calls for his assistant. He struts a bit closer, but not too close. He still made sure he kept Sunghoon’s personal space, something he’s really fond of.

“I took my meds today, right? Tell me I’m not seeing things.” his chest heaves up and down, eyes still fixed at you laughing about something that your friend uttered from the other line.

Sunghoon was beyond astonished. His heart races, feet stoned at the position, and slowly all the noise around him are turning into a muffled sound. Like they’re being thrown away somewhere far from where the two of you are.

Icarus' eyes follows his line of sight and he was surprised as well. He gazes over the three other men near him and like him, they looked staggered. He fished his phone and quickly pulls up the painted picture that they’ve been using to search for you. He glanced back and fort multiple times and there’s no doubt that it was you.

“It is her, Boss.” he confirmed that ringed at the back of his mind.

Icarus took a glance over his boss and he quickly started dialling someone through his phone. This is the sole purpose of their nonstop search countries by countries, and yet now that you are there all of them are just stunned. They couldn’t process it properly.

Multiple times that people labelled Sunghoon to be crazy and now, you are here. Proving everyone that they are indeed wrong because you do really exist. Sunghoon’s overwhelmed. He was out of words and just kept staring. Like he was caught in a trance.

He wanted so bad to approach you and steal you out from here. Sunghoon fights all his demons just so he can hold back from holding you right there and then. He’s been waiting for this moment for so long and so he knows he shouldn’t act impulsively.

While Sunghoon enjoys watching you silently after he ordered something to drink, he felt a presence approaches him.

“Sir, we found the hotel where she’s staying at. Beside this establishment.” Icarus announced. Sunghoon nodded his head without sparing him a glance and tilts his head.

“I will go with some of our men to check her room for informations.” he added, informing and asking for permission from Sunghoon.

“All right, you can do that. Hurry up before she decides to go back. I don’t want her to be suspicious of anything.” despite the spark over his eyes, his tone ice cold as he speak to his assistant.

Icarus silently nodded his head, “Noted, boss.” and with that he exits himself taking a few of their men to go with him.

You have no idea that some men are planning to intrude your hotel room. All you care about that night was to loosen up and get rid of these negative thoughts inside your mind.

The corner of Sunghoon’s lips lifts up a little as he watches you made face after a hard shot. It was very adorable for the young mafia boss.

He taps the table once, catching one of the bartender’s attention. He wasn’t a regular, but he sure is known around here. Of course not about good things. There were never goodness in him.

“Give whatever she needs and wants. I’ll pay for it.” his words were firm and cold. The intimidated worker glanced over at your direction and quickly gave Sunghoon a nod, eyes flashes fear.

The night continued and Sunghoon took a few shots. It was incomparable to what you just had. You’re now gulping your eleventh shot and it was obvious that you’re more than drunk. He bet you are now incapable of walking straightly.

Also the sensual gazes from multiple men inside this bar that peers at you didn’t slip from him. He wasn’t too happy about it, fighting the urge of snapping their heads off one by one. Thankfully, the fact that he finally found you kind of made him more calmer. And as long as nobody tries to lay their hands on you, they’ll be good.

He saw you stood up and kind of impressed that you managed to put yourself on your feet. He smirks dangerously and stood up, placing a stack of money at the bar counter. It was way too much as a payment, but he does not care. You seem like you enjoyed your night, the barternders deserves tips for satisfying a customer. Especially if that customer is none other than you.

His smirk fell when he saw you stumble over a man that’s already grinning maliciously. He did not liked it in one bit. The man licks his disgusting lips as he racked his eyes all over your body. Sunghoon snapped at the sight of it and quickly marched near your direction.

You’re basically so drunk that you passed out, unable to even recognize the man holding you.

“Do you need some help pretty girl?” the man whispered meaningfully and was about to grab you by the waist when a hand yanked it hardly making the man scream so loud.

It caught attention, but that’s the least Sunghoon cares about.

“You might be the one that’ll be needing help.” he grunts angrily as his free hand held you over your waist to make sure you aren’t crashing down the floor now that he lets go of you.

The man groans and brows furrowing in a displeased expression. He lifts his head, ready to curse out the man that was doing this to him, but instead the color to his face all drained out.

People inside the bar stayed at their places, doesn’t really want to get involve once caught glance at the Park Sunghoon. All they can do is to stare, because they knew if they try to get involve, its going to be hell for them too.

“M-Mr. Park, I w-was just—” the man yet again shrieked eerily, his eyes grew when the man pulled his wrist and broke it with no remorse.

He fell down on the ground crying out of pain. He called out for help nonstop, but nobody even tried to call an ambulance. They were just there, watching the awful scene.

Sunghoon held your waist and checks on your passed out state. With his furrowed brows he scanned you carefully, making sure no injury was inflicted. After making sure you’re all right, he carries you effortlessly by his arms and heads outside the bar.

“Let’s call it a night now, princess.” he mumbles softly.

“Sir, what are we going to do about the man in the bar?” one of his man stalks behind him.

Sunghoon’s eyes turned murderous once it left you. “Get rid of him.” he coldly said before walking inside the lobby of the luxurious hotel you’re currently staying on.

The moment he stepped foot, he saw Icarus talking carefully with the staff of the hotel. He was sure he’s discussing with them what to do and not to do. He have no idea who owns this place, but he will surely make sure none of the things they did will be come known and that you will be enjoying your stay.

His eyes looked panic when he saw Sunghoon carrying you by his arms, unconscious. He excused himself from the girl at the front desk and slowly approaches him. The staffs that gets to see the view looked bothered, but what can they do about it? It’s Park Sunghoon. It’s either they kept their mouth shut or he will shut their mouth forever.

“W-What happened...?” he was hesitant as he ask that question to Sunghoon.

The original plan if ever they manage to find you is to observe and never engage too near. But why does he carrying you like this and passed out? Did his boss lose control and forcedly took you here?

“She passed out from drinking.” he explained shortly that somehow ease his worry.

He told Sunghoon the number of your room and he went there by himself. Icarus left to go and check on the mess Sunghoon just made by the bar.

The mirror of the elevator reflects the two of you. It was a sight Sunghoon never expected to see this soon. Numerous times he imagined holding you like this by his arms and now that you’re here, it feel sureal.

He strides the hotel hallway, his long legs makes it a short travel from the elevator to your room. The whole floor is now vacant as he ordered Icarus to rent all the rooms so they can ensure your safety and that you can rest properly.

After he opened your room, he walked over the bed and placed you carefully. He smashed his lips together as he inhaled your scent, making his head all fuzzy. You smell so good and its making him crazy. He leans away and stared at your sleeping figure.

He still couldn’t believe it. Thinking that he’s in a dream. And if ever he is, he don’t want to wake up anymore. He wants to stay in this dream, with you.

He extends his hand and slowly tried to brush some strands of hair that was on your face. He jolts when you suddenly moved, the tip of his finger grazed on your soft skin. He heaves a sigh, feeling his heart thumped like crazy.

He stares at his big hand for a while before he smirks a little. His eyes trailed back at your sleeping state and he noticed the clothes you are wearing. It doesn’t look uncomfortable, but you won’t be able to rest properly.

He fished his phone from his pocket while still watching you sleep, not allowing to take his sight out of you. Like afraid that you’ll suddenly vanish.

“Boss?”

“Ask for room service for her room. I want them all girls and also someone who can dress her into a more comfy clothes.” he ordered that his assistant quick assists.

He sighs. He doesn’t want to leave yet, but he knew he has to. Slowly, he sat down at the side of the bed and stared at you peacefully sleeping.

He reaches for your hand and with a racing heart he held your hand. Lifts it and placed a soft kiss on top of it while his eyes darted directly at you.

“Sleep well, my pretty. I’ll have you for myself soon.”

main master-list

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @kimmchijjajang @hoonbrry @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @hiqhkey @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @moonlightisland @ayayiiie @aeyeree

sinag tag-list:

@heeseung-min @lovingvoidgoatee @dimplewonie

[harrywavycurly]

Sarah I could use some fluff please😕

Hiii babes!! I hope you enjoy these super fluffy conversations with Eddie💖

*when I say these are super fluffy I’m not exaggerating these are disgustingly sweet*

“You think we’re good for each other?” “No.” “Eddie! What the hell?” “Sorry I meant no we aren’t good for each other…we are great for each other.” “Oh really? What makes you think that?” “Because…the kinda love we have can’t be anything but great.” “Yeah?” “Yeah…this is that once in a lifetime type shit…or at least it is for me.” “You’re going to love me the rest of your life?” “Oh yeah…you’re stuck with me baby.” “I like the sound of that.”

“You make me nervous.” “Eddie be serious I’m trying to see where your mind is at with…us.” “I’m being fucking serious you…you make me nervous because what…what if there’s a day you wake up and realize you can do so much better than me? I don’t know what I’d do if you…if you decided to leave..I mean I wouldn’t blame you but I just…I really fucking love you and it’s terrifying.” “You love me?” “Yeah…yeah I do..I love you sweetheart.” “I love you too…and there’s never going to be a day when I wake up and want to be anywhere else but wrapped up in your arms because that’s where I feel the most at home.” “You’re it for me you know that right?” “Glad we are on the same page.” “God listen to us we sound like a hallmark commercial for one of their cheesy Christmas romance movies…” “oh you know you love their Christmas movies.”

“If I dropped to one knee right now and asked you to marry me what would you say?” “What took you so fucking long.” “Wait…what? Really? You wouldn’t run away screaming at the idea of me being your husband?” “No you dummy I’ve thought about you being my husband for a while now…I mean we live together and have a cat so it’s like the only thing missing is a ring on my finger and my last name being Munson.” “Oh…uhm well then in that case….will you marry me?” “Holy shit you’re actually doing it? Right now? I didn’t mean to pressure you I’m so-” “baby you’re making me really fucking nervous can you just say yes already?” “Oh shit I’m sorry! Yes yes of course I’ll marry you Eddie.”

“You know what I think?” “Honestly baby there’s no telling…” “don’t be mean Eddie.” “Sorry Princess…what’s on your mind?” “I think that you and I were meant to meet at the exact time that we did all those years ago because the universe knew exactly what I needed and who I needed to be loved by…so they sent you to me.” “I think you’re right baby…I had no intention of going to family video that night but all of a sudden I was pulling into the parking lot and not even five minutes later I run into you in the horror section.” “And look at us now…sitting in a bubble bath in our house on a Friday night because we are an old boring married couple.” “Boring? We aren’t boring…but yeah…crazy how time flies when you’re having fun with the one you’re meant to be having it with.”

“How much do you love me?” “I hate these conversations sweetheart they always end with me doing some ridiculous favor…” “so you don’t love me then?” “Now that’s…not what I said…you know I love you.” “How much?” “So much there’s not even a word for it.” “Oh that’s a lot…does that mean you love me so much that you’d come help me plant some new flowers in the garden?” “I knew this was going to end me with me on my knees somehow.” “Maybe I’ll return the favor later tonight if you don’t moan and groan while planting my petunias.” “I make no promises…you know how much I love moaning and groaning.”

“Can I tell you something?” “Is it going to make me cry? You know how I feel about crying Eddie…” “I don’t know? It might?” “Lay it on me.” “I think we’ve been in love before.” “Oh yeah? Like…in another life?” “I think we’ve always been in love and…will always be in love…in every life we live…I sound crazy don’t I?” “No Eddie you don’t sound crazy…I know what you’re talking about…what we have just feels too…special to only be for such a small amount of time.” “Exactly….I love you.” “I love you too…in this life and all the ones that come next.”

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

mjf talking you through it 🧎🏼‍♀️ missin him extra

I'll take care of you

Main Masterlist MJF Masterlist

Warnings: SMUT, unmentioned past trauma

Summary: Reader has had a troubled past when it came to partners. She was always nervous about relationships especially when it came to the intimate part of a relationship. Luckily she found Max, he always took care of her and never pressured her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. What happens when she’s finally ready to be intimate with Max? 

I’ll never forget the day when Y/n told me about her past. I coudn’t believe that someone could do such a thing to someone as kind and beautiful as Y/n. She explained to me that she struggled to be intimate after what happened and I promised her I would never push her to do something she was uncomfortable with. Normally sex was all I cared about but Y/n changed the way I looked at relationships. I no longer looked at the intimate side, I enjoyed the quality time I would spend with Y/n. 

I was on my way to Y/n’s place for our weekly dinner dates. Tonight Y/n wanted to stay in which I had no problem with. She told me she made a delicious dinner and I was excited. On my way, I picked up a fresh bouquet of flowers for her kitchen. Like she said dinner was indeed delicious, she spent all day working on a delicious feast and I felt undeserving of it. After our meal, I helped Y/n clean up and the two of us picked out a movie to watch. It didn’t last long before the two of us began to make out. Every time I found Y/n on my lap all I wanted to do was throw her over my shoulder and make the most beautiful love to her. Every time I had to remind myself that I coudn’t. I wanted Y/n to make that move, we never made it past making out before she told me she coudn’t do it. I know she felt guilty about it but I reassured her that it was okay. I would wait until she was ready, I didn’t care how long it took. 

Y/n straddled my waist as she sucked on that sweet spot on my neck that drove me crazy. She delicately started to grind on me, I didn’t mind that we weren’t intimate but there is only so much one can talk. It was hard but I had to pry Y/n off me. “I’m sorry, If we don’t stop now I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself,” I told her “What if I don’t want to stop?” she told me. I was confused as to what she was talking about “What?” I asked her “I think I’m ready Max” I coudn’t believe what I was hearing. Was tonight going to be the night? 

I held Y/n close as I picked her up and ran up the stairs, carefully placing her on the bed. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked Y/n. “Yes Max, I’m sure,” she told me reassuringly. “Just say the word and I’ll stop” I removed my clothing before I carefully got on top of Y/n. I removed her clothing carefully like I was unwrapping a delicate present. I placed delicate kisses all over her body, praising her. I lined myself up with her entrance before slowly pushing myself into her. She fought it at first, it was her body’s natural instinct so I talked her through it all. “You’re doing so good baby, just relax. You need to breathe Y/n” I told her. Once her body was able to relax I was able to get fully inside her. I gave her a few moments to adjust before asking her “You alright?” she was alright so I began to slowly began to thrust in and out of her. 

I kept a steady rhythm that wasn’t too slow or too fast, just the right amount to keep us both satisfied. Y/n felt so perfect, I felt like I was dreaming. I had imagined this scene so many times before that it was strange that it was actually happening. 

“You’re doing so good baby.” I continued to praise Y/n as best as I could along with leaving delicate kisses on her shoulders. I had never quite experienced something like this before. For the first time in my life, I think I was making love. It’s very different than sex, although it’s not as rough it makes up for passion. There was something about all of this. Maybe it was the way we waited so long or the way our fingers intertwined with each other, maybe it was how all of this just felt right. I could feel my release approaching sooner than I initially wanted it to but I could also feel Y/n’s. However, I knew she was unintentionally fighting it.   

“You are so close baby, I feel it. Just relax for me. I need you to breathe for me Y/n.” I told her reassuringly “I can’t..” she let out in a shaky breath “Yes you can, I know you can. Let go, give it all to me. I got you, I’ll take care of you baby” I continued to praise. I took my free hand and carefully placed a bit of pressure on Y/n’s stomach. I felt her orgasm wash over her, It triggered my own release. The way she milked me for everything I had me lost in my own world. 

“That’s it, baby, let it out, let it all out. I got you, give it to me” I whispered lovingly as I fucked us through our orgasms. I pulled out of Y/n and held her close to me as we tried to catch our breath. There was something so therapeutic about the two of us lying together in such a state. 

“Did I hurt you?” I asked as I traced circles along Y/n’s spine. “No. I really needed that, thank you Max” she told me “I told you I would take care of you”

[part-time-poettryingtheirbest]

When their s/o is asexual/ace spectrum [Tighnari, Cyno, Xiao, Albedo, Thoma, Gorou] {romantic fluffy comfort}

Cw: lots of physical affection, reader is crying in each drabble, mention of food in Thoma's, not proof-read

You experience attraction in a different way than others, a way that leads some to criticize you for not doing what they want. Of course, you know that these people will never accept your existence, but that doesn’t mean their words don’t affect you. The words detailing how no one would ever wish to be with you, how you’ll die without a partner by your side, even going so far as to call you inhuman. It’s no surprise that these words affected you.

Eventually you found them, the person you wish to spend almost all of your time with, the person you love with all of your being. After spending a few months with them as your partner, would it be possible for them to love you, even with the different way you love them? The thought began to eat away at you, and you told them. 

Tears ran down your face as you apologized to them, apologizing for yourself, for your way of loving them. Even saying,

“I’m sorry I can’t be a good lover, I’m so sorry.”

—-

Tighnari shifts closer to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands and wiping your tears with his thumbs. He slowly explains that he doesn’t want you to feel you owe him something. He is not entitled to anything, he just wants you to feel safe and cared for. If you keep apologizing he’ll squish your cheeks together and kiss your forehead saying, 

“Love I will explain this to you a million times if you need, but for now you need some tissues and water. How about we get them together?”

—-

Cyno nabs some tissue nearby before lightly taking your hands that were covering your face, wiping your tears himself. He tells you that he loves you for you, and that doesn’t change because of what others expect of you. Depending on how you respond to jokes in a serious moment he may explain in detail the new amount of joke opportunities with you being ace. He’ll make sure that isn’t all he’s talking about though,

“Dear I’ll love you no matter what the world thinks, no matter what insults they throw at you I’ll counter them with the limitless things I love about you.”

—-

Xiao may need a moment to fully process your explanation. The idea of others despising you enough to throw insults at you for… not doing something so trivial. Alas, he knows just how terrible people can be, and comes to an understanding. He slowly opens his arms for you to hug him, not wanting to pressure you but giving you the option to hide your face. And that’s exactly what you do. He may not be the most experienced at giving comfort but he’s definitely trying his best, with his arms gently wrapped around you he sighs,

“Humans are so terrible to each other, you shouldn’t have to deal with them. I’m more than content with having you by my side, you owe me nothing.”

—-

Albedo takes your hand in his, drawing circles into the back of your hand with his thumb. He explains that others' expectations don’t need to be acknowledged when it comes to your comfort, and that others shouldn’t even be commenting on your life period. He takes your hand and softly kisses it, reassuring you,

“I love you very much dear, and I want you to feel comfortable. You don’t need to feel like you owe me something you don’t want.”

—-

Thoma takes off his gloves before wiping your tears with the back of his hand, not wanting the fabric to irritate your skin. He reassures you, explaining that he doesn’t think low of you in any way, that your being ace doesn’t change his love for you. He smooths your hair, and eventually your crying dwindles down, leaving you exhausted and dehydrated. Thoma sees your state and glances towards the kitchen saying,

“If you're up for it I can make you a warm meal, and then you can take a nice nap, what do you say?”

—-

Gorou looks at you with sadness in his eyes, not with you of course, but with the fact you’ve been so hurt by others. He hesitatingly wipes your tear with his thumb, his own eyes growing teary as well. He takes a bit to come up with the right words but eventually he says,

“I’m sorry you’ve been hurt so much, but please know that I love you the same. No matter what they say, you could never be a bad partner for this in my eyes,” He pauses, “If it’ll make you feel a bit better, you can pet my ears. Just be gentle, they’re a bit sensitive, but I trust you.”

—-

Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment or ask if you enjoyed!

[inkedreverie]

Hello, I'm back with another writing challenge. Since spooky season and my birthday are a few months away, I thought I'd host another writing challenge. This time with a much longer due date. Let's jump into it, shall we?

#𝐃𝐮𝐬𝐤𝐓𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐃𝐚𝐰𝐧𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞

This theme is inspired by my love for dark fics and anything spooky/scary/surpernatural, you name it! I want this challenge to be versatile. That means your fic can contain angst, can take place in a dark/spooky setting. The choice is yours.

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 & 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨;

-The prompts below will be sexual/dark so, all participants must be 18+

-All tropes and kinks are welcome except for underage/incest

-This challenge is open to dark fic writers/non dark fic writers

- Any of Sebastian Stan, cevan's characters, marvel/ or stranger things characters are welcome. I'm open to other fandoms/characters as well. Just let me know. All I ask is that there are no RPFS.

-Reader inserts only. But any type of reader is welcome. GN!, Plus Size, POC, etc.

-No word limits but I ask that if your piece is longer than 500 words, please leave a read more.

-Tag all warnings/kinks appropriately.

-You can start whenever you wish. The deadline isn't until September 28th, so that should give you plenty of time.

-You can mix and match the prompts or use just one of them. More than one person can use the same prompt if you wish.

-Please tag your fics with #DuskTillDawnChallenge and @ me so I can see your work.

-Last but not least, feel free to message or dm me with any further questions!

Tropes/Kinks:

Stalking/Stalker

Enemies to Lovers

Kidnapping

A/B/O

Forced Intimacy

Basement Wife

Hunt/Chase

Blackmail

Knife

Blood

Dry Humping

Dom/Sub

Bondage

Breeding

AU's

Werewolf AU

Vampire AU

Demon/Angel AU

Demon/Human AU

Forced Marriage AU

Post-apocalyptic AU

Haunted House/ Castle AU

Serial Killer AU

Horror AU

Prompts:

Horror/Angst:

"Don’t look at them, why are you looking at them? Look at me. they’re not going to help you."

"You see, I had quite a reputation as the go-to guy. My job demanded it at the time. So I know where to apply the tiniest amount of pressure to a wound like yours."

"No one is coming for you. I made sure of that."

"You look so good like this, all tied up and bloodied."

"You couldn't live with your own failure, and where did that bring you? Yeah, right back to me."

"It should have been you." "I know"

“All you are is a liar...” “My love for you is not a lie.”

"Don't trust people like me. I will hurt you in the most beautiful and intoxicating ways so that you can never go back to your normal life without my ghost following you."

"Oh, I’m not going to rush this. I’m going to take my sweet time."

Dark/Smut:

“Please, I have to get home.”

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.”

“I told you to shut up and you know I don’t repeat myself.”

“You’re scaring me.” “Good.”

“I didn’t follow you, you led me here.”

“How did you get in here?”

“They’re going to start looking for me.”

“You can bite me. I like it.”

“I’ve done so much for you, don’t you think you owe me?”

“You want to do that again… you want me to hurt you.”

“Take off your clothes. Slowly. I want to watch you.”

"Do not scream god's name, scream mine."

“Louder, I want to hear you!”

“I can’t sleep if I’m not inside you.”

“I don’t care who hears, I want everyone to hear what I do to you.”

“You want me to pull out, ask me nice and I’ll cum in your mouth.”

“I wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it.”

"I get so hard when I’m around you."

tagging some mutuals who might be interested! no pressure. @thornsnvultures, @brandycranby, @nickfowlerrr, @mickeyhenrys

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello can I please how would Bi-han confess to his cruch ? I'm just so curious to know your thoughts 🙌

Bi-Han would be considered emotionally inept, especially so when all his life he was under the strict tutelage of his pressuring father to becoming the next Grandmaster, something, something the curse of being firstborn and all that.

So he’s not as in sync with his emotions as he was with his fighting prowess, and so tended to ignore the emotions that he thought didn’t serve him any further use, other then fuel the fear of being weak/perceived by others as weak; Whether that be mind, heart, body or even all three.

Which lead to the not so healthy habit of suppression of any and every emotion.

Now onto his confession…Bi-Han originally would be in denial of his feelings towards you, but somehow couldn’t find a solid explanation as to why it was that his dark eyes seemed to be able to seek you out of a crowd and stay locked onto you for prolonged periods of time, up until he was needed elsewhere. He knew, he just didn’t want to admit to having a human heart that aches for genuine connection.

He would have everything planned out to perfection because if Bi-Han knew anything, it would be to take advantage of every opportunity given to him; However the hardest part of his plan was to ask you to join him in a walk throughout the Lin Quei without raising suspicion within others. So he’d wait until you were away from the others before approaching, silently standing by your side for an awkward amount of time before finally opening his mouth to ask:

‘Would you like to accompany me on a walk later this evening?’

Assuming you said yes to a private outing with the Lin Quei’s Grandmaster, because let’s be honest you’d be stupid not to, Bi-Han was internally relieved but made sure not to show it upon his face as he bided you farewell; feeling the initial weight come loose from his shoulders as he then made quick succession of the rest of his plan, suddenly feeling the urge to make sure this evening would be nothing but perfect for you and him.

I feel Bi-Han is a perfectionist within a way when it comes to certain things. I can’t explain why but i can just feel that this man is an utter perfectionist.

Let’s get one thing straight. Bi-Han’s confession isn’t perfect, it’s awkward, it’s unpolished and sometimes comes off a little uncharacteristic of him. He would even start and stop when he feels as though his words weren’t coming together the way he wants them to, and would start to get a little frustrated but manages to make it through to the very end.

‘Your smile, your eyes have enchanted me in ways that I’ll never find words close enough to describe just how much you’ve changed my perspective on certain subjects, subjects that I would’ve never thought of ever entertaining. I am the Lin Quei’s Grandmaster, I’m not meant to show weakness in the eyes of the enemy for it gives them an advantage to exploit.’

‘However in recent memory, I have found that my feelings towards you are so much more complicated than I had originally believed. I thought they’d be fleeting like a passing breeze, there for a brief moment for me to feel it, then gone within a matter of seconds. And you’ve lingered within my mind long enough for me to forget the times when you weren’t at the forefront of my mind; whether it be involuntary or not and I’ve come to find your company…peaceful.’

‘You bring me a peace that I have not felt ever since I was a little boy and that’s when I knew my feelings weren’t a fluke, that my feelings for you weren’t a weakness but instead my strength and my serenity.’

And yet despite all this, that’s what made it a prefect confession to you because it was Bi-Han at his fundamentals; an imperfect human with flaws and not a man who thought himself immovable and cold right down to his very soul. And that was the Bi-Han you loved through and through.

[avacoleman]

It's been a minute since I've done one of these, but this nugget of an idea has been kicking around in my head as of late. here's a bit from a second chance, past/present romance. this snippet is from their college days

“Can I ask you something?”

“That sounds terribly ominous, but I suppose so, yes.”

Alex sits up, resting his back against the wall.

“Are you happy?”

Henry does a double take, brought up short completely by the question.

“Pardon me?”

Alex twirls his pencil like a drumstick between his long fingers. Henry’s head feels as if it’s in a tailspin too.

“I have my own thoughts on the whole royal family thing. They aren’t exactly…diplomatic so I’ll break tradition and keep my mouth shut. Though, I can’t help but wonder what it’s really like day to day.”

Henry frowns slightly before schooling his features.

“I don’t have anything else to genuinely compare it to. By default, I’d imagine I should be happy.”

“That’s not at all what I asked. Are you actually happy?”

Henry searches Alex's eyes. No one outside his immediate circle has ever spoken to him so bluntly before. For a moment Henry wonders if he should pull rank, but he sees the out that’s being given to him.

Alex is giving him a chance to speak freely— at least as freely as Henry can allow himself to be.

“There’s an unbelievable amount of pressure that makes it difficult at times to ever feel fully happy or content. Some days I’m not even sure if I can live up to what my life is predetermined to be.”

Alex’s brows furrow.

“How so? I mean, I get it. Life in the public eye feels more like living in a fishbowl or being under a microscope all day every day. You’ve got it even worse than me.”

Henry laughs dryly.

“I have it worse than anyone.”

“Is it really all that bad? There aren’t any parts of the gig that make it worthwhile?”

“Calling it a gig suggests that I have an actual choice or say in the matter,” Henry replies.

Alex winces a little.

“Fuck, you’re right. Sorry. I guess I just mean, is there anything about your role in the royal family that you feel appreciative of? That makes you genuinely happy to be in this position?”

Henry looks away and takes a moment to gather his thoughts, of which there are many. Alex gives him the time to parse through it all, never once becoming impatient or pressing.

“If life in the public eye is a fishbowl, then I’d equate life in the palace to that of a gilded cage. Dress it up however you might like, it’s still— at its core— akin to a prison.”

Henry sighs and shakes his head. 

“I don’t mean to sound melodramatic or ungrateful. I honestly don’t. I know that being born into this family has provided me with luxuries and opportunities most people could never even dream of. All the same, it can come at a great personal cost.”

“And what’s the price you’re paying?”

Henry opens his mouth. The words dance precariously on the tip of his tongue but he swallows them down, not daring to give them room to breathe.

“I can’t say. Not right now at least.”

Alex looks even more intrigued, his head tilting slightly. Henry likes the way the light catches his eyes as they hold each other's gaze. 

“Would the truth really cost you so much that you’d rather keep it as a burden instead?”

There’s no judgment in Alex’s tone, just a genuine curiosity that makes Henry desperately want to be able to confess all he’s been bottling up.

“Yes. I can’t gamble with my future like that. When it’s all said and done, a gilded cage still offers protection. Perhaps I’ve developed an acute case of Stockholm syndrome,” he tries to joke.

Alex stares at him, looking troubled by Henry’s sentiments.

“No one should be trapped in a life they don’t want to live.”

“Ah, but you see, freedom is the ultimate luxury. I’m not so sure if that’s the hand I’ve been dealt.”

“Sounds to me like you need to change the rules or maybe even play a different game altogether.”

Henry smiles wistfully.

“An inspired thought. I admire your rebellious spirit. I dare say I even envy it.”

[chubs-deuce]

Hi, fellow writer/artist here! This is about your recent post about struggling with your writing, and I found that I had a lot to say and I didn’t want to clog up the comment section, I hope it’s alright that I sent it this way, and if its too long or not helpful, my apologies XD

My number one tip: there are no rules! Writing is fun time! It’s kids finger painting with words! Its emotions! It’s characters we love, and stories our hearts or brains or some other parts of us wanna tell! Always lean into what sounds the most fun when you’re stuck! Even if you never use it! <3

In my experience, some writing is better than no writing when you feel like it's not good. Sometimes to get out of being stuck I find it best to just keep typing, even if it stops making sense, or i hit enter twice and start rattling off a new scene or a different story entirely! Sometimes I will literally just type ‘why does writing feel so hard. This feeelsss dumb blah blah blahblahblah fuuuuuck fuuuuuuuuuuuck why do I feel so stuck -’ And so on until eventually my brain thinks of something else haha – literally just a brain dump. Type any random word that comes to mind. Sometimes I just open a clean document and go at it with this, you can always copy paste anything remotely relevant that may come out of it somewhere else later.

The rewrite loop is a hard one, I find that when I'm stuck in that space, sometimes taking a step back and just literally making a bullet point list of the scenes and/or what I want to accomplish really helps! Recently I also started going through and highlighting certain passages or concepts in the document that are poignant to the themes or vibes of the story/ that I wanna circle back around to in some way. Its been helping me keep things a bit more consistent in terms of emotion, and has helped a lot with ‘scene-block’. Bc instead of being like ‘uhhhh okay what now?’ I can always look back through the highlights and see what needs to be carried through more – or it can spark a new idea from thinking over how to get to that specific point you want to reach!

Sometimes when writing feels too daunting to me I’ll literally just tell myself “that’s okay. You don’t have to write. You can do literally anything else.” And sometimes just that, the verbal removal of the pressure, can loosen things up – especially if I do want to be writing. But sometimes, you really just do need a break from it. Picking up another hobby to fill writing time when I’m burnt out really helps me out!

I’ve taken months away from all sorts of writing projects before (both fan work and personal) bc there was just a block. And it sucks. I’m really sorry you’ve been dealing with this, it’s such a frustrating experience.

Honestly, sometimes writing can help you work through something IRL, but other times I find that sometimes the writing has to wait until I’ve hit a certain milestone personally. There’s a project of mine I pick up maybe once a year. Maybe. Because it just can’t have what I need it to until I sort some of those personal things out in my own life.

I’ve also noticed how much your Charlastor Fankid AU has taken off (Love Dawn btw), and you expressed recently how you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the amount of asks/etc with the executive dysfunction of it all (same btw) (I’m also the person from the comment on that - hi lol). I wouldn’t be surprised if some of those pressure-feelings you’ve expressed have bled over into your other WIPs, pls be kind to yourself <3

Think how long people waited for Hazbin content from Viv, or any other number of indie-origin fandoms. When people love an idea or a style or any other number of things, the people it resonates with are happy to give the person or people behind it time. You can tell when someone enjoys making things. When something is made with that passionate spark. I want you to know that your posts really do have that. I can tell how much love you have to give through your work. People who like your stuff aren’t going to disappear if you need to take a minute to breathe, you know? I know the world we live in, and the faux-perfection of the internet can make us creatives feel like we need to be machines, but it’s not true. We’re people. And other decent folks will be happy to respect that!

Creativity and how we express it is very personal, and everyone’s process is different, so I can only really speak from my own perspective here, but you’re doing great. Your work is amazing, and I hope your writer’s block clears up soon!

I hope this message doesn’t come off weird in any way, with this massive message out of ‘nowhere’, my heart just really went out to you on this from one writer and artist to another. I also sent this as an ask bc for some reason sending a DM this long felt weird given that we haven't really spoken before.

Good luck with everything! Always here if you need another creative person to complain to or chat with LOL

- Lizzie

sobbing, this actually made me so (positively) emotional man-

Thank you so so so much for taking the time to type all this out and reach out like this, it honestly means the world from me, especially since your ask here really is oozing with empathy and care in ways that surprisingly hit me in the feels pretty good???

I'm sorry I didn't respond to this sooner but I kind of couldn't muster the energy to give it the kind of response it deserves that wasn't just senseless keysmashing sdkjhsdkjfh

what's wack about my particular kind of writer's block is that I'm more than happy to ramble on and on about Dawn and my ideas for her story in asks etc, but to make a coherent story of it feels like an undoable feat somehow?

I've always had a knack for piecing together a plot out of thin air or based on next to nothing to go off of, but it's actually putting it into a consumable format that I always, ALWAYS get hung up on, and it bothers me to no end :'3

Your reassuring words genuinely really help a lot in soothing my fears of, well, I guess irrelevancy?

I do ultimately write for myself, but I can't help but feel like there's a ticking clock in the back of my brain that tells me I need to make something consumable before the "fad" around Dawn especially passes and most people that would've cared about a fic about her have already moved on, if that makes sense?

It's a stupid amount of pressure to put on myself and maybe even sounds kind of arrogant, but I do thrive off of seeing people react to and think out loud about things I'm passionate about - it's a connection, a communication of sorts, something I'll never not desperately crave.

I've been having so much fun with Dawn and the story surrounding her and I couldn't be happier that people are so engaging with what I put out in turn! So much so that a part of me dreads seeing when that will come to an end ^^"

I'll keep trying though, and keep doing what I love <3

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to reach out like this, a lot of this is something I definitely needed to hear and words can't express how much I sincerely appreciate it ;w;

[away-ward]

I haven’t read Hideaway in a while, but is it ever told how Kai’s father felt about his arrest? If it’s possible (no pressure luv) can you expand on their relationship, I’m just in love with their dynamic 😔

I would love to talk about Kai’s relationship with his father! I’ll admit, it’s also been a while since I read Hideaway in its entirety and the last time that I read it, I only read Banks’ chapters. So, I’m mostly talking about my assumptions. As always, I’ll try to bring up references.

Early on, Kai reveals that he resents his father. It’s hard to understand why, at first. By all accounts, including Kai’s, his father is a patient man. He doesn’t yell or expect Kai to fall in line with his decisions. In fact, all he wants is for Kai (and his friends) to be better. It seems his only crime is wanting them to make good decisions. The horror, the burden.

As a teenager, Kai knows his father is aware of the things he and his friends get up to, especially on Devil’s Night. Yet, Katsu doesn’t prevent him from making this choice. Kai also knows that his decisions disappoint his father, but he has no intention of stopping.

If you’d ask Kai, he’d probably say that he doesn’t have much of anything in common with his father. Still, Kai has a tremendous amount of respect for Katsu. He speaks highly of him; he’s a young father in good shape, and nothing like the fathers of his friends, who he finds deplorable in nature.

After his release from prison, Kai feels the weight of Katsu’s disappointment more than ever. It’s compounded with his own. He really has problems processing what he went through; he came from a good home, with a solid upbringing. How did he end up in prison next to murderers? How did he end up nearly killing someone? How did his life get away from him?

The disappointment hounds him every waking moment. It builds in him, and by the start of Hideaway, all he wants is to prove himself; to prove that he’s not wasted what’s been handed to him. He still can’t look his father in the eye.

So he tries to make the right choices; to be the good son.

He has a college degree – it’s not enough.

He buys a home – it’s not enough.

He builds a dojo – it’s not enough.

Nothing is enough to please his father.

And then comes Banks. She gives him a place to direct that hunger. Suddenly, he can do anything… if it’s for her. Nothing is off limits. It doesn’t matter that the girl he wants wasn’t valedictorian, or class president, or a member of chess club (sorry, I don’t actually remember Chole all that well, but you get the point), or Gabriel Torrance's daughter. It doesn’t matter that Banks isn’t the girl his father would approve of.

Like how he was before prison, Kai wants to make his father happy, but not at the expense of himself. His father will be disappointed, but that matters less than him getting Banks.

However…Kai doesn’t see his father quite as clearly as he thinks he does.

That whole year of trying to be the son his father could be proud of; trying to erase the damage he'd done, so he could look his father in the eye. None of that was because of Katsu. It was his own self Kai couldn't face.

(I originally highlighted this because it's yet another way Kai makes sure to point out how he's less than his father, but now thinking about it, the piece of art that Rika says looks like him, is a figure without a face, strokes going outside the lines. Kai is a mystery to most people, and a rule breaker to those who do know him, which is probably what Rika was thinking. But in HA specifically, he's lost himself. He's faceless, not knowing where he's going, and I thought it was funny.)

But that doesn't answer your question. Your question was how did Katsu feel about Kai’s arrest? It’s never told in the narrative. But there is a letter floating about out there on the web, written by Katsu, to his wife Tori a little while after Madden was born. And through that, we get some insight into how Katsu really feels about his son.

He talks about how he and Tori met, how he stole her away from her life because he loved how strong and thoughtful she was. And in this, he admits that Kai is more like him than he thinks.

But it's not just in stealing the girl. They both blamed themselves for Kai's faults.

He compares the love between Kai and Nikova to his and his wife's - which, in the series, is the strongest marriage we're ever given insight into (the Grayson's have a good life, we never even meet Will's parents, so it's a moot point).

Kai thinks that Katsu is disappointed, and that he didn't live up to his father's expectations. He doesn't have the right kind of woman, or the right kind of friends. He didn't make the right choices.

The reality is that Katsu loves his son so much, Kai could never comprehend it. He's so proud of what Kai has accomplished.

I don't know if I've covered they're dynamic well enough. What I do know, is that these men do not open up to each other. They mainly talk to through Kai's mother, who seems to have a tap on both of their emotional and mental states. However, both Kai and his father are extremely proud of each other. Kai holds his father above all others, and Katsu thinks the world of Kai.

It didn't really fit in here, but I especially thought this was noteworthy:

When Damon burns the dojo down, Kai thinks about everything that's lost, but specifically about the weapon's his father donated. And I thought how sad that his father can put such faith in him, donate such important items, and Kai still doesn't see his approval.

Kai's always been blind to how deeply his father loves him.

Thanks for the ask! Hope this answered your question. As I mentioned, I'm not wholly familiar with Hideaway or Kai's character as I am with NF, so if any KaiBanks enthusiasts want to add to this, please feel free. All comments welcomed.

-KO

[devil-on-acid]

The Heart of Eywa Pilot

Chapter 1

A/n: i could not stop myself from writing this. This is my first time writing fanfiction after reading them for years. I hope you guys enjoy it. fort the most part i wrote this to let my creativity out and to heal my post Avatar TWOW depression. Sorta warning i wrote half of this while under the influence and later on fixed the mistakes and some sentencing. Also note that English is not my first language so my vocabulary is not impressive. Please enjoy this first draft/pilot. Any feedback and comments are appreciated.

Genre: Thriller/Isekai/Fantasy/Sci-fi

No Pairings yet

Word count: 3,301

 _________

I know myself, i’m obsessive. I have hyperfixations. Hobbies and will do anything to make days go by faster. I am one of those people who are sometimes not aware of what is happening. My emotions not in tune with my body. My feelings are cut off from my responses, i am…..

i was never able to cry when i wanted to or when i needed it. Instead of feeling numb i went to feeling everything all at once. That is the only way i can describe it in short.

But if i am being true. This feeling i have is indescrible.

And all of this came from nothing but a single unrealistic wish i had while trying to fall asleep.

 ________________

Third pov

The year is 2023, slowly it’s getting colder at night but warmer at day. The freezing cold prickling at your skin and the wind sharp in your face. During the day it’s still cold but the sun comes out alot more. The enjoyable heat of the sun coming through the windows a start of a new day.

A girl no older then 17 is currently in her room weaving and braiding a band from string in a multitude of vibrant colours. Colors who are getting harder and harder to find in nature. As she is braiding we hear the background noise of music softly spilling into the room. The girl in question keeps her head down as she braids the strands delicately tot the beat of the music. The laptop it is playing from sitting far beside her on the desk facing the wall. Everytime she looks up she studies the massive collection of posters up on her wall. Posters of music she loves. Movies, series, artworks made by hand. The one in the middle had just been added to her wall. A poster of the movie Avatar the Way of Water. It’s blue color looking back at her. It has been a month ever since watching the new instalment and (y/n) felt nostalgic evertime she looks at it. the feeling of wanting to leave this place getting larger and larger she looks at that wall. she often imagine stepping up to it and would hope the wall could just swallow her up as if a portal had transformed it.

_________

(y/n) pov

It was a normal night of settling down for the night. Doing something else besides studying or working. Some time for myself to work on hobbies or anything that has gotten my interest lately. I often times like to stare at the wall in front of me. My huge collection feeling overwhelming and soothing at the same time. I tend to think about how many stories have actually been made in such a way as we make them now, we are al storytellers as humans i presume. The amount of fantasy needed for it is already impressive to begin with. I often get lost in the music of soundtracks playing in the background while i work. I always like fantasy, action, sci-fi and thriller. But my childhood favorite has always been Avatar (2009). It was the first sci-fi action movie i watched. But i found it a fantasy as well. The whole world so thought out a full book can be written about the Culture of the Na’vi and the beautiful Flora and Fauna of planet Pandora. If i’ll ever be able to make a wish it would bet to get transported there. Living the life of a free Na’vi. Exploring the forest of pandora, instead of living month after month in a little gray box. It feels so wrong to think we live like this, most of us. Not knowing what to do with our lives as so much is expected from us. The pressure building up and your body feeling more tired then ever. That feeling has been crawling in the back of my throat the older i got. The more responsibilities that i didn’t want the larger the hollow and empty feeling in my chest. Work, eat, go to sleep,  repeat the day. I am not the only one feeling like this. People around me have expressed the same feeling. And still i wonder how they manage to push trough as well as they do. It almost fills me with curiosity and jealousy.

Braiding away at the new necklace that i am making i start having this uneasy feeling. I try to ignore the feeling and try to concentrate on my work. Focusing on the beat of the background music coming from my laptop. But the more time past and the sun went under the bigger my paranoia became. The more i try to ignore everything around me the more blurry my vision got from starting at my hands. At some point i was ripped away from my dazed state only to get goosebumps all over the back of my neck and my arms. The laptop my music came from had stopped playing the music and instead an awfull buzzing sound came from it. like the electronics started to malfunction. panic seeps trough my skin as i start the hear the music again, but there was something wrong about it. it was slower and was playing backwards. Trying as fast as i could i turn off the laptop and sit back down. Trying to calm my breathing, slowing my heartbeat.

As my mind began to clear i was able to stand up again. ‘’its probably just something wrong with the laptop, its 10 years old anyways’’ ‘’nothing is going to hurt you, you are not in danger’’ ‘’you are savely in your house with all windows locked’’

With those thoughts all i was able to cal myself down, checking the time i noticed it was already 00:47 at night. Better to go sleep instead of staying awake much longer. I changed into my pyjamas, brushed my teeth and my hair and layed down in my bed. When i get scared or i feel like there is something wrong i always hide away in bed. Maybe even hide under the covers if i want to. It was a habit of my childhood that stuck with me even to now.

As i was laying in my bed trying to sleep i tried tot hink of the many possibilities of getting out of here. Wheter escaping from this house and moving to a place i felt happier or escaping this world completely, everything is possible in your dreams anyway so why not indulge in a fantasy for a few hours until you go back to your endless working cycle. The house was unusually quiet. My parents where both visiting my aunt abroad and my sibling has their own place 20 min away from here. The usual sounds of snoring from my father in the other room and the buzzing sounds of the washing machine weren’t here. It was deadquiet.

As i’m laying down trying to get comfortable i force my eyes to close, instead of staring at the ceiling. I try to make my mind go black and slow down my rapid thoughts. However one thought came to me that i was unable to get rid of no matter how hard i tried. The most unrealistic wish i ever made. Because it wasn’t real. But to be able to dream about it, to dream about Pandora is a privelege.

Before i know it i feel myself being pulled away by this reality and into the next. I let the serenitiy take over my mind and body and accept everything coming my way. the aches of my body dissapear, the stress in my shoulders lift up out of my body. This feeling, the feeling of flying, a dream i tend to have a great many of times washes over me like a wave of water. my mind at peace when i slip into unconciousnes.

I see a tunnel light up completely by white glowing vines. I am being pulled by my entire body through this tunnel at such a high speed i wanted to close my eyes from being blinded.

And then everything went black. It stayed like that for it felt like hours. Just staring at the blackness as peacefull bliss fills my body. Slowy i start to feel sensations again. I can feel my bare skin touching what felt like grass or moss. The cold breeze flowing over my skin, i can feel how humid and warm the air is. I try to hang on to what i feel. my ears start to pick up sounds one by one. The wind. The moving of plants all around me. The sounds of bugs, birds and other animals i can’t recognise filling my mind. Wanting to see my suroundings i try to move my body. Trying to twitch any muscle i can think of. My fingers, my toes, my face and my eyes. It felt like i was laying there for over 20 min before the sensation in my legs came back to me. My body waking up from my toes, up to my calves, to my stomach, my arms and upper body. When my back and neck where able to move. I take in the deepest breath i could, pulling in my stomach before letting go again.

The air was so fresh i enjoyed every second of it. being completely awake now i open my eyes too fast and got blinded by the sun. Wait…..the sun. I tried to pry my eyes open again blinking a few times to sharped my vision. The first thing i saw where the enormus trees towering over me. Looking down from it i was overwhelmed by beauty all around me. The grass and moss on the ground was greener then i’ve ver seen in real life, the ferns and flowers all looked to be tropical species i had never seen before.

It took a bit before my mind caught up to me. ‘’i must still be asleep.’’  I kept repeating that to myself as much as possible ‘’you’re asleep, you’re alseep, you’re asleep. No one can hurt you in your own dream’’ but as much as i was trying to convince myself it didn’t feel like i was telling myself the truth. This, wherever i was looks and feels way to real for it to be a dream.

Last option. Pinch or hurt myself into waking up. I pinch myself on my arm, doesn’t work, i scratch myself on my wrist, i’m not waking up. But now i look at my hands in shock and wonder. Five fingers on each hand. My skin is a beautiful Azure blue colour with darker stripes in patterns along my body. Softly glowing freckles on my hands up onto my arms and down my stomach and legs.  I put my hands up to feel my face, it felt the same as it did before i went to sleep, but my ears are higher onto my head. I am able to twich and move them, picking up even the slightest of sounds with them. I pull my hands behind me and feel the back of my head. A long braid from the center of my head goes all the way down over my back towards the ground. As i looks behind me my new tail is swishing back and forth on the ground. And i come to the realisation that this can’t be a dream. This is way too real. Wheter it is a dream or not i am unable to wake up.

 My wish, my unrealistic ‘’i want to go to sleep’’ wish came true.

‘’i’m on Pandora’’

 ‘’WAIT….what the…’’ i shoudered in a shaky breath by what was coming over me, my mind was having a hard time believing what i was saying out loud. This is impossible.

‘’i’m on Pandora, and i’m na’vi’’

With my new eyes i scanned and observed my sourroundings. I was amazed at how much i see. Every tree, strongly rooted into the ground. So many type of plants, flowers and moss around me. Never had i seen a forest like this one. Not even in the pictures of the earth i saw online. Or the footage i saw in documentaries.

I try to move my legs and sit up properly to stand up. As i try to stand up with difficulty i have to grab onto the tree nearest to me. I stand there a bit letting the dissiness fade away and test my legs. Slowly walking a circle to see where i am or rather where to go. I try to think about the possibilities that i have. I have no idea in what year i got into here on Pandora but that would be difficult to find out without anything that doesn’t involve  technology or the humans. Do the Na’vi even count the years ? or the months ?. i don’t think so. I’m not even sure how that would go.

The best options i have on foot is see if i can recognise anything, a scene from the movies, or a sign of life. Hoping i won’t run into any dangerous animals i choose a direction and started walking. Feeling every leave and fern i touch. The green moss feeling soft to walk on. The more and more i walked the more types of bugs and small animals i encounter. I can hear prolemuris swinging above me from tree to tree. Sometimes seeing Arachnoids crawling upon the trees. My mind started to wonder, if i truly am here, where are the others currently ?, are they already gone, or do they still reside in Hometree. Is Jake already on Pandora as well ? or has he been here for years already. All of these questions can decide my fate. I don’t know where i’m walking to, but the most likely thing to happen is getting killed by an animal or being found by a clan and being killed for being a Dreamwalker. That name really does fit me in this case. I’m essentially walking in a dream.

The it wasn’t that much light left anymore in the forest. Soon the sun will dissapear during eclipse. But i am too distracted by the world around me. Around me i find more and more shimmyflies soflty fluttering from one plant to the next. I was hypnotized by it’s eight iridescent wings and delicate build. Trying to touch one was difficult. They looked almost too fragile to even touch anything they come in contact with. Like the thinnest ice melting away after a single touch.

I mindlesly follow the insect like creatures flying all in the same direction. Some of them flying up into the trees. Other left behind to go someplace else. It wasn’t long till i realised the sun had completely dissapeared. I was in a rather dark spot still following the shimmyfly. I looked at my feet with each step. The ground of moss on the floor reacting to my steps with it’s bioluminecent light. creating a path of my footsteps that fades away withing seconds. I start feeling like the sounds around me go in sync. Each small droplet of water, each insect, each call and chirp from the animals mixed together. Like music to my ears. i’m getting more and more lost from where i’m going, but it didn’t matter. I was so calm and at peace here. I could feel my skin tinteling as if pain doesn’t exist. The more i listened the more it almost felt like i was hearing actual music was playing around me. It felt like i wasn’t alone. As if there was a comforting presence of something or someone all around me. It made the drifting feel slower then it actually was. But it still then felt like i was watching the biolouminescence of the forest for hours. Sometimes just trying to spot more small insects. Other times touching plants to see their reaction in colour.

But unbeknowns to me, it actually was hours that i was walking. My body starting to feel faint from being so tired. I tried to still figure out a new direction to follow, i can’t remember which direction i came from. Taking another few steps i start hearing the dripping sound of water.

‘’That must be a river’’ i was getting thirsty from the warm humid air. Putting a faster pace on my walking i follow the sounds of the river water the best i could.

___________

Third pov

Walking through the forest you want to make your presence almost invisible. the forest of pandora holds many dangers. You need to be alert, silent, and quick. That is what a hunter was doing at that very moment. Hiding in the trees looking for any smell, sound, or track from an animal to hunt.

Being in there for more then an hour the hunter went back and forth looking for any clue of animals passing through the area. What he didn’t expect however where the presence of a great amount of shimmyflies around. Shimmyflies where difficult to find this deep in the forest. It wasn’t till long that he realised there was something wrong, something or someone was there that was unfamiliar. A scent he did not recognise as any animal he knew of.

Going further into the new direction he chose. Not wanting to be spotted he climbed into the trees so he could see from above. Watching carefully at any change or sign of life. A little further away he stopped abruptly. Right down on the ground further away he saw a person walking slowly the opposite direction, right towards the river. The person now identified as a young girl was dressed in peculiar clothing, clothing not completely the same as the Sky People. But still a red flag to look out for. The girl was dressed in just a thin dress. Carrying no weapons as far as the eyes could see.

This could mean only one thing, a sky demon invading into their land. No matter how outnumbered the demon was it was still a cause of concern in the mind of the na’vi hunter. As quiet as he could go he ran to his ikran in a hurry, making Tsaheylu and flying back to the village. He knew where the sky demon was headed and he wasn’t far from the village, if he was fast enough he could warn the other warriors and the Olo'eyktan about this and they would be back before she drifted to far from this part of the forest.

after the war with the Sky people years ago, they sended them all back to their own planet, the dying planet they destroyed for their own greed.

Only a few where chosen to stay, scientists loyal to the protection of pandora and it’s natives. Loyal to the omaticaya. But out of those humans none of the avatar drivers have been young females, only adults known by the clan and recognisable to them. Even then they never venture this far from Hells gate and not on their own.

These thoughts worried the warrior fearing the worst. Flying at a faster pace trying to reach his destination. Looking down the area one last time remembering the way back, it was a completely dark spot. The bioluminescence gone from the area where he just ventured. Completely dark against the night sky protecting a certain Na’vi girl from the aerial hunters.

__

Meanwhile the girl was still drifting, unaware that she was being watched. Shock settling into her body as she was still accepting and processing what happend to her. All that matters now is staying alive long enough to find the only people she might know, the Omaticaya.