#like the sad pathetic sop i am

[nayushikisses]

taking school pictures with no warning in advance is one of the worst things to hrappen to me ever 💔💔💔 /j

[hanyjar]

rain sucks. (i'll make you love it.)

isagi yoichi x reader

summary: your story with isagi yoichi, told through five moments, a bus stop, and rain.

notes: [6.25k words.] idk if isagi lovers still exist, but in the wise words of taylor swift: this is me trying ;)

disclaimers: cursing, reader hates the rain and likes to talk, break up with an ex (not isagi) in part one, loneliness in 'one' and four', self doubt in 'five' but isagi is quick to comfort, fluff -> angst -> fluff, rain kisses, romantic gestures, strangers -> friends -> lovers.

edit: isagi likes rain here (as opposed to the info given in the light novel T_T so very sorry ahh)

masterlist.

ONE.

It has been a bad day.

No. That’s putting it too lightly. Today, June 20th, is the very epitome of shit.

The heated argument you had with your now ex-partner continues to linger in your mind. “I think we’ve been wasting our time” plays on loop like a broken record, and you wonder if you look as lifeless as you feel.

It’s quite a silly thing: how a single person can make you feel as if the whole world is ending. It’s even sillier how you devoted all this effort into a relationship that is nothing but a waste of time to them.

Waste of time.

Even after they crushed your already tattered heart and left it for dead, you can’t help but think how much easier it would be if you feel that way about them too.

Love is a stupid, stupid thing.

You appreciate mother nature for taking pity on you, at least. Rain in the midst of summer has never been your favourite thing - the air always being a little too hard to breathe and the dreary sky a tell-tale sign that the bus is going to be late that day. But today, you feel okay towards rain. The tears from the heavens above do well to cover up your own; the droplets become friends, accompanying you in your forlorn state. For once, you don’t complain about the broken roof at the bus stop letting rain in. For once, you find comfort in the very thing you hate.

And you cry a little bit inside, knowing that your ex has managed to break that part of you as well. 

“...Bad day?” A voice breaks you free from your stupor.

You turn to your left, and you feel your breath being taken away. 

There, a stranger stands. From first glance, the boy is nothing but ordinary. His navy - almost black - hair did little to set him apart from the rest of the crowd, and he dons the same Ichinan uniform that you (and the multitude of students in the area) wear. But there is something within his cerulean eyes. A fervour of sorts, one that is begging to be unleashed for the whole world to see. To the untrained eye, he is the very essence of average; to a trained eye, the stranger is utterly beautiful.

…Or, that’s what you would say, if he didn’t look like a wet cat. Not the ones featured in those animal shampoo commercials, but one of the sad, pathetically cute, on the verge of tears, literally sopping wet ones. Your breath is taken away, simply because the boy is a mess.

You can’t help but think that this stranger has had a shit day, too.

“Like you have no idea.” You say, voice drenched in exasperation. “Though… You look like you’ve been through a nightmare yourself.”

“A nightmare is an understatement,” he cradles his left temple with his palm. You laugh at his antics.

“Try me, then. Nothing can be worse than getting dumped, right?”

The smile on his face immediately falls, and you can’t help but feel a little bad for dropping a bomb like that to a stranger. “My god.” He exhales, “I am so sorry.” His crestfallen expression makes you feel as if he truly means those words.

“Don’t be. You didn’t know.” Your eyes look down to the soiled concrete. “I’ll be fine, time will pass, after all.” (You say that more to yourself than him, if anything.)

The bus stop is silent for a while, and you feel as if you’ve ruined everything - for the second time today. It’s almost as if the bus stop boy knows, and is eager to change that.

“Well. My name is Isagi Yoichi,” he begins. “And my soccer coach told me that I am mediocre at best; that I don’t have what it takes to do what I love professionally.”

You look into his eyes once more, and the fervour that was once there is now shrouded in a sense of agony you know all too well. The same agony that is, without a doubt, present in your eyes too. Words fail you. And for the years you have shrugged as the therapist friend, you find yourself at a genuine loss.

“...I guess we’re in the same boat then.” You muster out, lamely. “But are you seriously going to let some old geezer tell you what to do with your life? I mean, he’s literally the coach of a no-name highschool team.” Your hands make their way onto Isagi’s, clasping his in-between yours. “Your coach has no right to tell you that when he’s failed at that dream already. Don’t let your coach dictate your worth; don’t let him stop you from shining. Ever.”  

He stares at your hands for a second, eyes widened and mouth agape. You are quick to detach yourself from him. “Forgive me,” a sheepish smile grows on your face.” “I speak too much sometimes.”

“No need,” Isagi’s hand moves to rest on the nape of his neck. “Thank you. I needed to hear that today, I think.”

Isagi smiles boyishly. It suits him.

“It’s no problem.” You fiddle with the straps of your backpack, suddenly feeling bashful at his gratitude. “Adults like that? They think they rule the world, but in reality—”

The squeaking of tires interrupts you, and the bus arrives exactly eleven minutes late.

“That’s my cue,” you say, and for a second, you could swear that Isagi seems disappointed. You make your way towards the bus, head turning towards his way before you get on board. “Thanks for the chat, stranger. I’ll see you around.”

You make your way through the barren bus, the driver eyeing you up-and-down for your soaked figure. And just like that, uncertainty and dejection return in waves. Talking to Isagi was a good distraction and all, but you can’t forget that your partner of two years just fucking broke up with you. You are alone now.

You want nothing more than to sleep it all off. This feeling of loneliness is a type that you would not wish on anyone - even your worst enemy. (Well, maybe someone. Your ex, being the said someone. But you like to think that is just the anger talking.)

“Hey!” Isagi’s voice echoes out. Like a ray of sunlight breaking through the grey skies of your mind, it is his turn to make your eyes widen; his voice bypassing the sheet of glass separating you two and reaching the storm that surrounds your heart. “Don’t let that past relationship stop you from shining too, okay?”

…Perhaps, you aren’t so alone after all.

The bus sets off, and Isagi sees you smile at him through the rain-stricken window. The boy hopes that his sentiments have reached you; he hopes that you’ll follow the same advice that you’ve given him. 

But above all else, he hopes that he will see you again.

TWO.

“I hate this bus stop and its stupid roof.”

Isagi stops typing away on his phone. “You say that like, all the time nowadays.”

You’ve definitely sucked the life out of that phrase recently, but you take it as a good sign. An indication that you’ve healed.

The relationship that you once held dear is nothing but a mere memory of the past. The countless sleepless nights and time spent wallowing in your own self-doubt have all but ceased to exist. You realised that it simply was not worth your while to cry about a lost love, and to instead surround yourself with the love that remains from those around you. If anything, you are grateful for it: you have grown from that experience tremendously. By no means would you ever consider it to be a waste of time. And in the process?

You garnered a friend. A confidant. That break up led to the beginning of something magical. It led to a friendship with Isagi Yoichi, or, who you like to call, your bus-stop boy. 

After the fateful day, you started to notice his presence around more. At first it was in the halls of Ichinan, a mere wave shared between you two here and there. Then the new school year began, and Isagi was shuffled into your homeroom. You began seeing him from once in a while, to literally everyday.

His presence began to bleed more and more into yours, and your lives ended up intertwining together until there was nothing you could do to untangle them. Eventually? Isagi was your deskmate. He was cooking lunch for you, you two eating his homemade lunches together in comfortable silence. You began waiting for his soccer practice to finish, and Isagi would wait by your side at the station until the bus came. A rhythm that you two fell into, almost as easy as breathing.

In your chapter of new beginnings, there is no Isagi Yoichi without you, and there is no you without Isagi Yoichi. An inseparable duo, you two are dubbed as. 

You like to think you know a lot about him now. Maybe even go as far as to say you know everything about him, as he knows everything about you.

“It lets the rain in, Isagi.” You whine. “And besides, why is it even raining in Spring? Tsuyu* season isn’t for like, another month or two. There’s no way anyone could like this weather. No way.”

“I don’t know… I don’t mind it every now and then,” he says. “I like rain. I think it’s nice.”

Pause.

Well, maybe you don’t know everything about him.

“What? Since when?” You put your hand on your heart, gasping in mock-offence. “I didn’t know that I’m friends with a traitor.”

He rolls his eyes at you. The audacity. “A traitor, really? Just because I like a bit of rain here and there?”

“It goes deeper than that, Isagi!” You say. (It really doesn’t. You just want an excuse to complain a little, and a sassy Isagi Yoichi is always a fun sight.) “What’s there to like anyways? I don’t get it.”

“I can try to explain it for you, if you’d like.”

“Please do.”

“Have you ever seen what it looks like after it has rained?” He asks. You shake your head in response. You’ve never been the type to stick around long enough to see the sky stop crying. “You should. It’s wonderful, y’know: the glow it leaves afterwards. The streets look like they’ve been reborn - you can literally see the dirt on the concrete being washed away and given another life. If you’re lucky? A rainbow might come and say hi.” Isagi smiles at the little comment he makes.” That sight alone is worth getting your books wet and missing the bus every now and then. And it is just one of many reasons I have, honestly.”

You find yourself smiling at his enthusiasm. It’s cute, when he’s like this. You’re glad that he’s comfortable enough around you to show this side of himself. “I like it when you infodump, Isagi.”

“Did my infodump manage to change your mind?” A tinge of hope emerges in his voice and eyes. You shake your head. The hope is gone just as fast as it came. “Well, maybe the main reason will.”

He gives you a mysterious smile, and proceeds to say nothing.

“Aren’t you going to finish that sentence?”

“Nope, I don’t think I will.” Isagi says. You shoot him an incredulous look. “I’ll tell you… If you don’t fail your social studies paper.”

“Wha— Hey! Now that’s just being mean!”

He laughs. “So then… Why do you hate rain so much, anyways?”

“Changing the subject, really?” You say.

 He merely shrugs in response, giving you a teasing grin. “Just roll with it. I promise I’ll tell you,” he pauses. “One day.”

You kick his foot in response, making an impromptu game of footsies ensue.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Isagi lifts his hands up to the side of his head, surrendering in a fit of boyish laughter. “No but really, I’m curious. Why do you hate it so much?”

“I don’t really know. It’s just—“ You stick your leg out precariously, as if the rain is going to melt your foot. “I hate the rain. I always have, and probably always will.”

A lull of silence passes by - not dissimilar to the one that happened on your first meeting with him. It’s different this time, though, as it is not a silence that is born out of two strangers not quite knowing what to say. It went deeper than that, more intimate, more comforting. Isagi puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you around to face him. “Well,” he begins. “One day, I hope I can show you how beautiful rain can be.”

Isagi smiles - a pretty, pretty thing.

There, amongst the dreary skies and wet cherry blossom leaves, is sunlight.  Sunlight, in the form of him. Him, the Ichinan forward. Isagi, a boy who has nestled his way into your life almost too easily.

Yoichi, who leaves your heart hammering a bit too fast for comfort.

“Come on, you’re going to miss your bus.” Isagi’s hand finds its way to yours, locking into place like they were made for eachother. “It’s darker than usual. I’ll walk you home today, okay?”

He drags you towards your usual window seat, tapping the two matching keycards you share while entering. Isagi whispers a quick goodnight as he sits on the seat next to yours.

A smile makes its way towards your lips. Warmth filling up your entire body, entire soul. 

You adore his sleeping face; you adore him.

Wait. Adore? Uh oh, you think. I might be falling in love.

*Tsuyu: The rainy period in Japan, generally spanning from May to July. The direct translation is ‘plum rain’, because it coincides with the season that plums ripen in Japan.

THREE.

Isagi is the first one to break the silence.

It’s weird, how he called you out to the bus stop out of the blue. Meeting together here in the past was always out of necessity: one born from a desire to go home and to have a chat with your best friend to end the day on a high note. Never, is the meeting at your sanctuary intentional, like it is now.

You couldn’t help but rush to get here. Not when he texted you like that: frantic and brimming with urgency.

“Sorry for making you come all this way, especially at this time of the night.” He says, carefully. As if he is tiptoeing around eggshells. Like you are strangers again. Isagi is never this careful around you, and hasn’t been for a while now. The change of pace perpetuates fear into the depths of your soul like no other.

“It’s fine.” You tentatively look up from your lap, preferring to look at the night sky instead of his face. I’d do anything for you, when you text me like that. “It’s just… Your message; the tone you’re speaking to me in right now. You’re seriously worrying me, Isagi.”

Isagi lets out a sigh, one quivering with nerves and worry. He places a hand onto your clenched ones, rubbing comforting circles onto the dorsal side. That’s weird. You didn’t even realise you were shaking. “You know that letter from the Japan Football Association I got a few days ago? The one we were so excited about?” 

“The one I forced you to accept, right?”

“That’s the one.” He smiles fondly at the memory. The one of the two of you in his room, him being at an absolute mental blank, while you - the ever-so lovely you - was crying tears of joy - a stark contrast to the tears you shed earlier that day, watching him lose the qualifiers. You egged him to accept it, because ‘nothing would make you happier than to see him pursue his dreams’, you said. Words that sent an elation of joy to flood across his body, for he didn’t think that he could love you more. “…Well, I went to that address they gave us today. And that letter didn’t exactly tell the whole story. Of what it is, what their goal is.” Isagi continues; you feel a lump beginning to form at the back of your throat. “Yes, it’s a player improvement project. But I have to stay at this camp, I think. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying there, and I can’t contact anyone that’s not a part of it either. All I know is that it starts tomorrow. Officially.”

“What…” You muster out, at a complete loss for words.

“It’s called Blue Lock, and I’m going for it.” He places his unoccupied hand onto his chest, eyes igniting with a kindred spirit like no other. “I think this is my best shot at becoming the best. To play beyond a national level, and make you proud. But…” He pauses, pinching your chin with his index finger and thumb, forcing you to look him in the eyes for the first time in this conversation. “I won't go if you don’t want me to. I won’t, and will never do anything that you don’t like. So just say the word, and I’ll stay. Right here, right by your side.”

It hurts so damn bad. All of this, how it is so out of the blue, how there’s a possibility you may never see the boy, who has been such a pivotal aspect of your life for the last year or so, ever again. You want to be supportive - heck, you’d go to war just to see Isagi shine. But it hurts. You love him, for goodness sake. Every bone in your body wants him to stay, to not break the sacred normalcy that you have shared with the man that makes you smile brighter than anyone else can.

But the skies are clear. And the right answer, the solution to all of this, is even clearer.

“You’d have to be stupid to not go.” You say, voice unwavering with confidence. However, your eyes are anything but. “You have to go, Isagi. I don’t want to destroy your dreams like that and ruin the potential you have. I could never live with myself if I made you stay.”

Isagi kisses you on the forehead, once. “Thank you,” Twice. “Thank you, so much.” He leans his forehead against yours, and his teary ones meet your equally watery ones. “I’m going to miss you more than anything. I promise, I’m going to become number one. Just for you.”

“You better.” You chuckle, choking on a sob. “Shine brighter than anyone else, Isagi. I’ll be watching you every step of the way.”

He nods in response, and you stay like that for a while. For minutes, hours, even. Foreheads kissing each other, and staring into his cerulean eyes like it’s the last time you’ll ever see them.

“I never told you the reason, didn’t I?” Isagi breathes out.

“What?”

“The reason why I love rain as much as I do.” He says. You let out a careful no, wondering if he did tell you, and you just weren’t listening.

“It’s because,” Isagi begins, reaching for your right hand and opening it, palm facing up. “It was raining when I met you.” You feel him reach for his back pocket, and Isagi pulls out a pristine white envelope, placing it into your hand. It is sealed with red wax and decorated with golden swirls. Beautiful. Like it came right out of a fairytale. “…And you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Your body quivers, and you feel the tears threatening to return again. “You’re so corny,” you say, half-flustered and half-shy. “And I still hate the rain.” You reach a hand up to his cheek, looking at his lips in a way that just friends don’t. “But Isagi, you. You are the best thing that’s happened to me too.”

He looks at your lips too, and you anticipate for something more - to go beyond what you two have built so beautifully. To go beyond friends, and transform into lovers.

Isagi pulls you in for a tight hug instead. You reciprocate. Those thoughts disappear as fast as they came. 

“So..” You clench the letter tight within your hands, and you cringe at the feeling of droplets meeting your shoulder. (Truth is, you didn’t know if you were cringing at the fact you wished he had kissed you, or if it is the impending sky-fall. You choose to believe the latter.) “Do I open it now?”

He pulls away from the hug first, and smiles, embarrassment painting his features. “I’d prefer it if you read it later.”

The droplets fasten, quicker and quicker, and Isagi pulls you closer to him, putting you out of the rain’s way. “Oh come on! It has to rain now, out of all times?” You heave a great sigh, burying your head into the nape of his neck.

“It gives us an excuse to stay here for a little while longer, doesn’t it?” He gives you puppy dog eyes. 

“As much as I’d love to stay with you all night, it’s getting late,” you say, laughing inwardly. “I don’t want to worry your parents. Actually— have you even told your parents about Blue Lock yet?”

He shakes his head. “No, I wanted you to be the first one to know.”

How sweet. “Then you should hurry home,” you whisper. “I shouldn’t hold you up.”

“You sure?” Isagi holds your hands tighter than before. I don’t want to leave you yet, his eyes scream.

“I’m sure.” You squeeze his hands in response. I don’t want to let you go either, your eyes say.

Isagi leans in once more, bumping your noses together, eyes meeting in a silent agreement. But we have to. And we’ll be okay.

“Promise that you won’t forget me?”

“I could never.”

And so he goes. But you stay. You remain seated, sheltered beneath the shoddy bus-stop. A sense of déjà vu passes, it’s just like all those times before. But it’s almost painful this time. Your bus-stop boy is walking away from you, instead of seeking shelter alongside you. You laugh at yourself, bitterly. You don’t know if you’ll ever move on from him, or if you even want to. Not when your forever-person has pried his way into your heart like this, not when Isagi feels like home.

You pry the wax seal off the letter, unfolding the paper that is encased inside in a hurry, a tinge of excitement coursing through your veins.

‘I still haven’t shown you the beauty of rain.  Will you wait for me? Love, Isagi.’

A laugh escapes your lips. Of course you would. You’d wait forever, and forevermore for him. He didn't even have to ask. It’s something that you would’ve done as one would breathe air. And in a way, you realise that there’s a certain calamity to your circumstance. 

You love him so much that you’d willingly let Isagi tear down everything you’ve ever known. Whether it may be something silly like your animosity towards rain, or the idea of letting someone love you again. You’d let him do it all.

And that is terrifying. But exquisitely so.

A barrage of steps sounds itself out in the quiet of the night, a figure making its way to you - closer, closer, and closer. Oh god, someones not trying to kill me, are they?

Then you see a familiar sight. A boy with his hair in disarray, black outerwear soaking wet, looking just like the wet cat from your first meeting but this time more mature and more determined, and suddenly he’s pulling you into the rain with him, grasping onto your shoulders, locking his eyes onto yours and oh. He’s kissing you on the lips now. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I couldn’t leave without kissing you first. I think I’d go crazy if I didn't.”

“I think I’d go crazy too,” you chuckle, resting your head against his chest. “And yeah. Of course I’ll wait for you, dummy.”

“You opened it already?”

“I can’t wait to see how you’ll make me love rain.”

…You should’ve known he would’ve given you that kiss first.

Isagi is not the type to leave you disappointed for too long, after all.

FOUR.

The days seem to blur together in Isagi’s absence. 

The last year or so was, for a lack of a better word, lonely. Filled with rumours that you drove your best friend mad and he ran away, or that you murdered Isagi and the police have yet to discover his body, you felt as if the only people in your life for the last few months were your family and Isagi’s parents.

The sudden isolation is getting to you. And you know it. It shows in the dreariness of your demeanour; bears its teeth in the darkening eye bags that have crept their way onto your face. You’re not certain that he will be able to recall your face anymore. Heck, you can’t recognise yourself anymore either. Gosh, who would’ve thought that being Isagi-less for a little while would do this to you?

But today brings something new to the table: hope. Confirmation that all of this waiting has been worth it after all. You’ll get to see him in an hour or two come morning, and it will be enough.

 Or, at least, that's the timeframe you predicted last night. 

“There have been reports of mass delays in the Saitama Public Transport Network due to heavy storms and rainfall. Civilians can expect their regularly scheduled buses and trains to be postponed for up to two hours or more—“

You throw a pancake at your TV and scream.

The what-would-be one hour trip to Tokyo is now possibly three, and since your butter fingers slipped and set the wrong alarm last night, you are already running late. 

You just hope that Isagi’s parents are still waiting for you outside.

Ding!

You reach into your pocket for your phone, and a message from Isagi’s mother illuminates the screen.

‘Sorry, Honey. We left already. Issei is worried that the traffic is going to hold us up from getting to Tokyo in time.’

Great. Just great.

It seems as if the universe is practically begging for you to not see Isagi today. But after not seeing him for months - not even a hi, hello, or a single sign that your Isagi is safe and sound - you only have one thing on your mind. 

Screw the universe. I need to see him. Screw it all.

You chuck on a pair of navy converses, making your way towards the bus stop that started it all. The streets are busier nowadays. With various roadworks and several shops getting renovations left and right. However, the one location that you know like the back of your hand remains abandoned, frozen in time, almost. Still on its last leg, with a leaky roof and ivy adorning the wooden frame.

The seats have grown moss on them from the increase in rainfall nowadays. And so you choose to stand instead - quietly observing the pouring downfall, thoughts running amok.

It’s almost scary, how time has simultaneously been impetuous and sluggish lately. And you know it ties back to Isagi. It always does. You haven’t seen the boy in ages, actually. And that, in itself, is an understatement. It isn’t in the 'two weeks off school’, or the ‘we haven’t talked since summer break’ way, but in an ‘I’m honestly forgetting your face since it is now a new spring without you’ way. 

…You don’t think you’ll have the heart to ever tell him that.

There is one thing that scares you more, though. And that's in the way that you’re forgetting how Isagi looks when he wears his smile. Does his lips curve upwards or downwards? Do his eyes turn into half-moons when he’s happy or does he bear his cerulean eyes for everyone to see? All of these are questions that invade your mind during sleepless midnights. Questions, that you never thought you would ask at all.

You can only hope that his smile is better than you can imagine. That he glows radiantly like he does in the fragments that appear in your memory every once in a while. Will happiness look good on him? Will it feel like a shame that you’ve been missing out on it all this time?

Maybe that’s the real reason why you’re worried that Isagi won't remember you: because you can hardly recall his face yourself. As in, truly, know what he looks like. You know Isagi from the blurry photos on your phone taken at 3AM sleepovers, and the display frames lined around his family’s home. The big picture itself is easy to see. The little things - the quirks of his that made you fall - have been much harder to recall.

But you do remember a few things. Arguably, the most important ones.

Your love for him; Isagi’s promise. The way he kissed you like he needed you to live; the way you cried for him amongst the skyfall.

The way Isagi taught you that it’s okay to love. 

And it’s okay to be loved back.

For now, that is enough.

Droplets continue to batter against your woollen jumper, the rain drenching your entire being. It soaks your hair, makes the knuckles on your clenched fists a light violet, disguises the tears falling down from your face. The rain is ever so violent, leaving a mess of you in its wake. For the second time in your life, you let the rain do as it pleases. You let it destroy the outfit you meticulously planned, wreak havoc on the converses Isagi gave to you on your birthday. All in hopes that it will eventually cleanse your soul. Cleanse the pain, the happiness. Wipe the slate clean, as the rain does with the pavement, until you are reborn from the ashes and live a life where you aren’t so, irrecoverably in love with your best friend.

But you know, deep down, it will never save you from your calamitous love. That even if you are reborn, one word will remain in your heart. One, sacred word that you keep like an oath. 

Promise.

You wonder if Isagi remembers his promise in the same way that you do. 

It’s the only reason why you are going to the game today, after all.

Your hands loosen from the fist you’ve been keeping this whole time, deep crescent moons adorning the insides of your palm. A slip of paper flurries out from your hand - swishing with the wind in a way that a feather would. It dances around, until it lands in the puddle that has formed beneath your feet.

Shit. The ticket.

You bend down and clutch a now-soaked sheet of paper in your palm, tiny inscriptions that adorned the sheet now bleeding together. The only thing now visibly readable being: ‘JAPAN’S U20 VS BLUE LOCK’.

Rain really, really sucks.

(You’ve never hated it more.)

The bus finally arrives amidst the downpour.

(Yet, for some reason, a small part of you is excited to see the rainbow that comes after the storm.)

FIVE. 

Isagi has always loved the rain.

Ever since he was a young boy, the rain has always had a certain allure that captivated him more than most. In his eyes, puddles held miniature worlds within them, with pebbles acting as land formations and stray twigs imitating people. Enchanting. Raindrops race each other down window panes, with him as an eager viewer. Simply spellbinding. However, nothing has ever beat the feeling of playing soccer amongst the rainfall. The feeling of watching the opponents around you struggle to run in the mud, as you calculate the best direction to head in; pieces of grass decorating your cleats in the aftermath like a badge of honour. Getting sick afterwards is a simple price to pay if it means transforming the pitch into a battlefield. Rain makes the game something to remember.

It’s the duality of rain that makes Isagi treasure the phenomenon dearly; rain can be simultaneously beautiful and destructive at the same time. Which, shockingly to him, is the very same fact that makes you despise it so much.

Your face appears within his mind. Isagi smiles.

Ah yes, you.

The person who despises rain more than anything else in the world. Who groans at the slightest hint of darkening clouds, and acts as if drizzle is akin to acid rain that will obliterate everyone in an instant.

Nowadays, media outlets constantly poke and prod into your relationship with one another as Isagi’s reputation grows - at a speed only fathomable in his wildest dreams - wondering how he can love you so much when the two of you are so different in every sense.

“…They just don’t understand,” he said to you on a day where it was all too much. “They’ll never understand how you’ve changed my life, is all.”

“Me? The person who nearly forgot you? Who doubted you and thought that you would’ve forgotten about them too?” You angrily clenched your head. “I don’t see how you’ve forgiven me so easily for that.”

“I told you already,” he began. “When I was gone I had the same thoughts as you. I forgot you for a bit, too. I doubted you, as well. I could never hold that against you, because I did the same, and– and… I regret it everyday; I know you regret it too.” Isagi inhaled sharply. “But at the end of the day, we both remembered the promise. And that’s enough.”

“…Right. I’m sorry, Yoichi.” Your eyes locked with his through the gaps between your fingers. “I love you so much, y’know that?”

“I know.” He grabbed your left hand, giving it a swift kiss. “I love you more, infinitely.”

Isagi cherishes you like he is a marauder and you are the finest jewel; he looks at you like you’re the only person who ever matters. And that’s true. Because to him, you are. With the countless sacrifices you’ve made for him; sticking by his side every step of the way; waiting and waiting for years; being the brunt of scrutiny from the media - heck - even your peers in high-school prior to his Blue Lock debut, Isagi is unsure if he will ever be able to repay you for all that you’ve done.

…But he does have an idea on where to begin.

Isagi averts his attention to the sights outside the bus window. He wonders why the rain is extra pretty today. The beauty of the raindrops seem otherworldly currently - a cascade of water flowing down overflowing gutters, iridescent hues lining the streets that he grew up on, children jumping into puddles with no care in the world. The rainy downpour from the heavens above seems unfaltering - even against the brilliance of Saitama’s lights. And amidst the hustle and bustle - adults finding their way into comforting warmth - there is you. Waiting in the rain for him underneath the bus stop, face twisted in discomfort, twirling the umbrella in your hand round and round.

It is no coincidence that the rain is so charming today.

No. 

It’s prettier, because of you.

Always, you.

His sweetheart of many years.

“Hey, stranger.” You greet him as Isagi steps outside of the vehicle he practically grew up on, ushering him underneath the umbrella you brought with you.

You, who he loves more and more everyday.

“Hey yourself.” His eyes twinkle with mirth as he takes the umbrella from your hands. “It’s been a long time since we were both here, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” Your face lightens up with the smile that he loves so much. “To think the last time we were here together was when…”

He looks into your eyes, face erupting with a mix of his boyish smile and laughter. “...When I kissed you. Yeah. I don’t think I could ever forget that night.”

The look on your face tells Isagi that neither could you. 

“Even though we’ve had countless other kisses since then, that one is still my favourite, y’know?” Your hands move up to cup his face within your palms. “Yoichi, you don’t do romantic things like that anymore.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Positive.” You stick your tongue out at him.

Isagi lets go of the source of shelter you are sharing, and lets it drift away with the wind. “Hey! We’re gonna get soaked!” You turn your back towards him, hands desperately trying to catch the stray umbrella that seems to be more than happy to escape. “C’mon Yoichi! What was that for?” 

“Turn around for me.”

“What?”

“Just do it.” He says, a smile evident in his words.

Isagi sees you gasp, the sight of him knocking the wind from your chest. 

There he is, kneeling with his right knee down to the floor - pants getting soaked from the wet concrete below. And in his outstretched hands, lays a small, black velvet box, a diamond ring embedded within its centre.

“Will you marry me?” Isagi asks, starry-eyed. Voice soft and vulnerable.

One day came, and now you know Isagi is right.

Rain can be beautiful.

EXTRA.

“Hey, Isagi. What’s the date today?”

“June 20th. Why?”

“No reason,” a small grin makes its way to your face. “Just curious.”

[rakkuntoast]

Your talks about Missa's mischaracterization are exactly why I made a post specifically asking for Missa mains to give me their analyses for me to reference in Awake Me From My Nightmare.

I even went as far as to slap some parts of the post in Google Translate encouraging Spanish qsmp fans to reply to me and I'd just have someone translate their analysis for me. Which I did (thank u Kami ily). And I was so fucking happy when more of my responses came from Spanish speaking fans than English. Peak QSMP moment <3

But anyway yeah. Missa's characterization has been lowkey my biggest concern writing the fic tbh. I wanna do him justice. He definitely isn't written as a pathetic woobified uwu cinnamon roll, that's for sure.

I've been staring very hard at the paragraphs people gave me on his character and I THINK I've been doing a decent job at balancing the "gets overwhelmed by things" wet cat side Crows see AND the "um actually he could kick your ass and can be a bitchy little shit" reality?? Mans is getting lots of moments where he's like "fuck this" and gets ready to Literally Fight God. There's still lots of tears, but like, if YOUR husband was in front of you covered in his own blood and lookin like he's rapidly wasting away in real time, you'd be an emotional wreck too. So I'm decently confident in his characterization, but I still have that "AAAAA I HOPE I'M DOING THIS RIGHT" worry. 100% gonna be clinging to comments from readers about if I did him justice. So far I've characterized everyone (Phil, Fit, Etoiles) super well according to readers. 😭🙏🏻 Hoping I keep up the streak with Missa in Chapter 3.

The discussion you've been having is exactly why I'm doing my best to do him actual justice. And I might actually read back through your posts and translate the Spanish bits just to get even more insight. I don't see enough people talking about qMissa like this.

And on a semi-related note, GOD I wish there were more YouTube clip compilations of Missa moments. Like idec if they're not just qsmp, I want more of them in general!! Idk if I just wasn't searching well enough or what but when I went looking a while back, there were MAYBE 2 videos at all, let alone Eng subtitled so I could understand them. And rooting through Tumblr for clips is a pain. 💀

Tldr thanks for talking abt this Rakk, this is exactly why I've been busting my ass trying to not write Missa reduced to one trait or the other. Tbh I've been seeking out proper analysis/understanding of qMissa even before I was writing him in a fic. Bc I KNOW what we Crows see is a fraction of his character.

ISAAAA you're doing God's work honestly, the "fights God through tears" is peak qmissa characterization akfknsjx

I do think we need more translated Missa content, sadly like the best thing you can get is qsmp clips translated or someone on twt decided to translate this one bit from his videos (like him having a crush on a pineapple)

it's sad that it doesn't get talked about how clever the guy is and while the fix is pretty easy (just getting more missasaurios to talk about him) it's just a case of bothering to translate stuff cuz that shit takes time and effort

as well as missa's miscaracterization not being talked about as much cuz a lot of the ppl who talk abt him are English crows who think he's a sopping wet cat<- i am BEGGING for people to unlearn this word it's making me insane

[jennilah]

Jenna, can you give us a rundown of who these Saw people are for everyone who follows you but has not seen and will never see the Saw franchise?

ok my beautiful and very accepting followers gather round i am going to try to provide you some basic context to these characters that feature heavily on this blog these days, and i HAVE smoked a bowl of weed already

majorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fucking series spoilers for anyone who might actually kind of be interested

mkay first of all despite what my blog might lead you to believe, this guy is like. the OG antagonist. the main dude for the whole franchise even when hes not technically present for most plotlines. all of his scenes are baller af

his name is John Kramer and he is the original Jigsaw Killer. He truly believes he can rehabilitate people who dont appreciate their lives (or commit crimes or take advantage of people) by putting them in saw traps. he pretends its not personal but it totally is. hes always putting people he personally beefs with in traps.

hes deeply fucked up but also really fascinating tbh like the whole fun of his character is seeing what reason hes gonna come up with to justify his next atrocity and how he manipulates everyone around him into doing his bidding. hes a mastermind. hes also Peepaw. Peepaw is kind of crazy but we love Peepaw

This is Billy hes a puppet

Billy is good

This is Adam Stanheight everyones favorite dead boy

hes so funny and charming and is also such a sopping wet pathetic sad rat. everyone loves Adam. We love pretending Adam is gonna come back but hes been super dead for years

This is Lawrence Gordon the guy he was stuck in the bathroom with and he does, yes, saw his foot off to free himself from his chain. hes an oncologist

everyone loves shipping him with Adam, thats called Chainshipping and its very cute but also very sad

esp because Lawrence turns to the dark side and becomes an apprentice to Jigsaw and never went back to save Adam like he PROMISED what the FUCK

but also i love Apprentice!Lawrence because of all the nutty implications and what other fun it has given us (such as AUs where Adam lives and even sometimes joins Lawrence as an apprentice himself)

This is Amanda Young she has many,. haircuts

I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER 😭😭😭😭 Shes an apprentice to Jigsaw and his pseudo adopted daughter and they have such a fucked up and tragic found family with each other.

i love that shes messy and emotional and vengeful and sarcastic and battling personal demons and questioning whether John's "rehabilitation" method really works (aka saw traps) and being unsure if she can take up the mantle when he passes. but he believes in her. and god they make me fucking emotional

this is Lynn Denlon shes a doctor kidnapped to treat John's cancer. and people ship her with Amanda, thats Shotgunshipping. it goes pretty hard tbh

like their scenes go fucking crazy through a shipping lens oh my fucking god. actually they all do tbh thats part of the fun of shipping in this franchise

oh boy big sigh here we go

this is Detective Mark Hoffman who is unfortunately my favorite character and i am REALLy high now. if u ever get confused like MANY of us did, you can recognize him by his bitch lips and/or boobies. ugh im gonna throw up i hate his ass

that last one oh my fucking god

anyway hes actually awful but i love him so much and at first i was scared that i was the only one who did LMAO.. anyway he also gets recruited by Jigsaw as another apprentice when he was in a very dark place, having just killed the murderer of his little sister. he made it look like a saw trap to frame Jigsaw.

but Jigsaw found out & was like nuh uh bitch you're working for me now, or else I'm telling on you.

But then Hoffman was like guess what bitch I LOVE it here and i LOVE killing. he becomes the Jigsquad problem child and proceeds to kill or manipulate everyone he needed to so he could be the sole "Jigsaw" remaining. But he's sloppy and paranoid af so the FBI is on his ass from day 1. And the more he kills, the sloppier he gets, and the more frantic and unable to dig himself out of this hole he gets. and the more violent and crazy he gets. But the more crazy he gets, the more he keeps evading death like a cockroach. For real, watching his downfall was the major appeal of his character for me, and the start of my downfall..ing in love with him. lord almighty

anyway everyone hates his ass and we LOVE bullying him!!!!! he deserves it. for all of the atrocities hes committed and also because hes such a smarmy little shit. even Amanda bullies him

and then we have Peter Strahm who shows up and hates Hoffman immediately, as you do. u can tell its him from his ridiculous eyelashes

and, YEAH, YOUVE GUESSED IT......... PEOPLE LIKE TO SHIP HIM WITH HOFFMAN.......... I KNOW..... RIGHT.... COULDNT BE ME.......

Because he is Hoffman's biggest adversary for two movies, knowingly in one. It's a classic cat and mouse game.

Anyway we love Peter Strahm!!!!! He's also an asshole! He's extremely hotheaded and short tempered but extremely passionate about the case. like, his dedication goes crazy. He's also quite the sassy bitch himself

but its BECAUSE he is also caring and emotional, especially towards his work partner Lindsey Perez WHO WE LOVE BECAUSE SHES AMAZING AND CARING AND SHE'S BEEN PETER'S PARTNER AND FRIEND FOR 5 YEARS THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER I LOVE THEM

and those are the characters but ur probably like "what the fuck is up with the glass coffin" well my friends that is what us Hoffstrahmers refer to as our roman empire.

um i ran out of room for pictures :) but by now yall have seen the two traps reblogged and drawn by me a BILLION times, and those are: the water cube trap, and the glass coffin

so the deal with those:

the water cube trap: Strahm runs off to find Jigsaw himself after wildly following clues with no backup because he's so worked up from Perez getting hurt earlier and he sets off on revenge immediately. Hoffman catches him and puts him in the water cube.

It's meant to just kill him. he wasnt supposed to survive it. but Strahm is suddenly the main character when he fucking survives an unwinnable saw trap the fuckin crowd goes wild, it was fuckin sick dawg

and then through a series of Hoffman backstory flashbacks that he daydreams, he figures out the entirety of Hoffman's real secret identity and sets off to go catch him

and thats when he finds:

The Glass Coffin Trap: the instructions on the Jigsaw tape tell him to get into the coffin, it will hurt him but he will have a chance to survive. "do you trust me?" but he KNOWS its Hoffman and he doesnt trust that motherfucker so he doesnt get in. Hoffman approaches the scene, they get in a scuffle, and Strahm pushes him into the coffin and seals it.

but hoffman is like "neener neener poopoo you're an idiot" and tells him to listen to the rest of the tape. which tells him that if he doesnt get in the coffin, he's gonna fuckin die bro lmao rip

and so he does! hoffman, in the coffin, sinks into the ground like some cartoon villain and the walls close in and squeeze Strahm to death

anyway at first Coffinshipping to me was kind of a joke like just classic Asshole x Asshole, Enemies to Lovers, Hero x Villain shenanigans. Teehee what if they KISSED... in the COFFIN... and all.

but then i read exactly 1 fic and i was completely convinced entirely of the angst possibilities of these two. the "what if"s that were possible with them. the little Hoffstrahm community i found has been so fucking awesome their ideas are so fucking fun, and I'm having so much fun thinking of art of them and fics of them and ugh i love it here

[mx-information]

If you like I Am In Eskew and The Silt Verses, why not try the Ambergris trilogy? We’ve got:

Mushrooms

Like so many mushrooms

A fucked up river full of fucked up squid

Tons of eldritch body horror

Unstable and obsessive artists tapping into unnatural forces in an attempt to communicate something that cannot be easily described in words

Magic-powered hell capitalism

Feuding historians

“I never lose my sense of the city’s incomparable splendor — it’s love of rituals, its passion for music, its infinite capacity for the beautiful cruelty.”

Names to rival even the great Chuck Harm

Awful cities that have something intrinsically yet indescribably wrong with them

Strange and unknown horrors that are omnipresent but uneasily ignored because to acknowledge them directly is too frightening to consider

Many, many characters who are sopping wet, pathetic, and/or unhinged in variously sad yet endearing ways

”it’s the silt, man! The silt!”

[chaifootsteps]

Also, same anon as before but something I noticed about DoggySatan is that he cherry picks the parts of people talking about him that makes him seem the most like a victim.

He screenshotted a user, upset because they were “hoping his gf leaves him” but completely ignored the context of it being that DoggySatan potentially sent his GF as a flying monkey to fight his battles for him (that anon that was allegedly his gf), which is something abusers often do.

DoggySatan, they weren’t randomly saying they hope your gf leaves you just to be mean, they were saying IF that anon WAS actually your gf and not just you sending it yourself, that using her as a flying monkey is abusive and could potentially be the sign of a toxic relationship she might need to get out of if. And even then, the potential scenario of you pretending to be her is also toxic because you would be using her name to manipulate someone without her consent. So either way, it doesn’t look good.

DoggySatan is also accusing users who were LIKING A POST that literally is just saying: “DoggySatan acts like a total victim but they would do the same thing to Chai at the drop of a hat if they could” (which is definitely true), of “being in” on their “””sexual harassment””. I cant even count the ways at this point they are exaggerating anything and everything now as long as it makes themselves look like a wounded deer for sympathy points. It feels like they are desperately grabbing at straws.

I have been through years of therapy and have had very rough experiences with a narcissistic father who uses the same manipulative tactics that DoggySatan uses far too often. I have come out stronger but also am able to recognize these toxic behavioral patterns way too easily enough to smell bullshit when I see it.

The way they manage to completely reframe and remove the context of any scenario and pretend they weren’t doing vile and hateful shit to make themselves look like a sad, sopping puppy in the rain is honestly infuriating and they definitely need help for it, but I know DoggySatan will just brush this off and ignore it or more likely rewrite it as more “harassment”. It’s definitely the sign of a deeper-rooted issue but they’re just going to continue to plug their ears and go “NO, NO, NO! WHY IS EVERYONE HARASSING ME!!! BLOCK THESE PEOPLE THEY’RE HARASSING ME!” instead. It’s really, really pathetic, and it’s honestly sad.

It's sad, and I keep trying to have sympathy because they're clearly not well, but they're suicide baiting, accusing me of making jokes about a dead person, and dragging in people who've done nothing more egregious than like my posts.

And it's true, they're textbook abuse tactics.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Your butterfly Howdy- so so so obsessed!! please tell me you thoughts I love him!! The thought of him simply falling from his chrysalis in a big sopping mess is so real™ , true butterfly moment

i would be Delighted to Talk. i always am. i have many thoughts always about everything. especially This. gonna add a cut so there's not a wall of text on my blog

okay so 1) i don't think he'd give any warning that he's gonna turn into a chrysalis. probably because he wouldn't realize it's happening bc like... those good ol caterpillar instincts took over <3 also it probably made him very very eepy

in his perspective, he took a nap and woke up spontaneously Different. everybody else had to deal with a solid few weeks of him being a chrysalis. and it's not like he was resting inside it - there is soooo much going on in metamorphosis, caterpillars/butterflies Do Not Rest At All

so when he emerges from the chrysalis (as a pathetic wet rag of a man <3) he's just... so out of it. his memory is a little fucky for a bit, he's weak, & he's exhausted to the point where the only time he's awake is to eat (gotta get that energy back!). that's it. he's dead asleep, wakes up, demolishes an entire bowl of fruit, and passes back out. can't even speak coherently.

he slowly gains lucidity until he's functional. he has a small period of time where he's kind of delirious/loopy from an overdose on Sleep, and it's hell on earth for everyone to deal with. i like to think that his main Watchers during this time are Poppy and Barnaby, both bc they're both big enough to wrangle him and bc of obvious reasons. (Poppy is a worrier and Barnaby is in love with Howdy)

when Howdy's loopyness wears off, he's still very tired and a bit spacey, but hey! he reopens the bodega! not that he needs to, since everyone was getting stuff from it anyway. he has a lot of IOU's in the never-used cash register <3 and lots of sweet notes. everyone missed him <3

so for a while when he's functional-but-Exhausted, he's a bit of a grouch. he simply does not have the energy to deal with Shenanigans and Excitement. if anyone walks into the bodega he's basically like "get your shit and get out, thank you, bye". he still sometimes nods off at the counter. eepy eepy bug.

and i don't think he'd really like his new appearance at first? i get the vibes that he Didn't want to pupate OH MY GOD THAT'S THE WORD! I'VE BEEN USING CHRYSALIZE WHICH ISNT EVEN A WORD BC I FORGOT 'PUPATE'. FUCK!, so he was subconsciously putting it off and was able to live for such a long time as a caterpillar.

but oopsie! he lost the battle of biological will! now he's got So Much Fluff and wings and claws and longer antennae and like... he's blue now. that would probably be at least a little unsettling, especially since he didn't realize it was going to happen. also he has to tailor all of his clothes to fit the wings and the Fluff.

plus, i imagine butterfly/moth wings are a Bitch to deal with. they don't fold like bird or bat wings, and they're kinda delicate - though due to Howdy's size, i'm sure they're more durable than a normal butterfly's - so i bet they are Constantly In The Way. (Barnaby probably makes a joke about how "Eddie's supposed to be the clumsy one" after Howdy knocks over a display with his wings for the umpteenth time. cue Barnaby getting kicked out of the store)

it takes a while for Howdy to get them under Control. they'd probably give away ever emotion he has. angry/frustrated? fluttering like crazy. thinking happy/fluffy thoughts or daydreaming? slow opening-closing. sad/pensive? droopy wing cape. stressed/high-strung? closed tight like a book. etc.

(similarly, his antennae are Very expressive! this is not something he can control unless he focuses extra hard. within a week Frank has memorized what each curl and twitch means)

but once Howdy has reconciled with his new appearance & has wrangled his wings, He Is So Fruity And Even More Eccentric. he fell outta that chrysalis and went "im gay now! 🧚‍♂️💅" kidding Kidding. kind of.

idk why, just... i feel like he gets a confidence boost. he realizes hes a Pretty Boy™️. he's like "this is what it must feel like for Eddie when he does drag". he's got that extra fruity Flair yk yk.

and sure, flowers are a little more distracting to Howdy than they used to be, prefers fruit over greenery, and he can't resist taking a short break every day to sun his wings, but other than that things are mostly normal. he's just extra pretty now.

[otterlyotterott]

i'm his favorite

i become aware of my hubris like it’s a bug, living in my wool for some time until it twitches at the perfect time—and then i know it’s there, it’s been there—i’ve always been his favorite, haven’t i? i’m his favorite, i’m his little lamb and he chose the crown for me to wear because i’m so good,

the blood of heretics feels like warm silk dripping down my arms and the crown, the sword in my hands is warm and its eyes are watching me and he’s watching me and i smile at him, at the crown, and i rush forward into another wave and i kill them so perfectly and they’re screaming, yelling out for false gods but they don’t answer because my God is the only one and i’m his favorite,

he’s so nice to me even when i die because he loves me and he looks down at me with three eyes that make me tremble and his acolytes are so jealous because he loves me so much more than them and it’s not a contest but it totally is,

there were 27 marriages in the last six months and i’m starting to lose count and i haven’t died in a while but i don’t want to die purpose because he doesn’t like that but i miss him so i pack my things and i leave my favorite disciple to take care of things even though they totally won’t and i go to anchordeep to kill and to be killed,

the only thing is that the heretics i find in anchordeep are so easy to turn into meat and bones and i’m so sad because i won’t get to see him and his cute nose and his twitching ears and then i see the waterfall and it’s been a while since i’ve been swimming because i can’t swim,

and i’m sitting before my Lord sopping wet pathetic and trying not to giggle because it’s been so long since i’ve seen that face and he looks so pretty and my lungs are burning and bursting and i’m coughing,

and he’s taking me into his arms and lifting me up and there he is,

my everything, my death, my life, he’s smiling! he’s smiling he’s smiling at me and he’s bringing me closer to his lips and i want them to kiss me but he does something better,

he licks me, and his tongue is warm and so drooly and slimy and wet and i smell like tuna but he licks me again and i sigh and he’s so loving and he’s so nice and he’s purring and we stay like that for a while, until i’m clean, and then he licks me again, his giant tongue covers my whole body and i close my eyes and he’s so warm and how is death so warm and this is worship, i am worshipping him, and he’s worshipping me because i’m his favorite and he’s mine

Inspired by @z00lea's comic where nari licks lamb dry after they die in anchordeep

[stupidfuckingwindow]

Drainage system // Holland March

I really just wanted to write sad Holland.

Tw: Brief hints of Holland and him possibly having survivor's guilt (?), his previous wife is mentioned in passing.

Word count: 288

Holland has been forced to think, again.

His suit has been soaked through, fabric clinging to his wet form and sticking to him. A glass has taken its usual place in his hand, the only thing he can reasonably have a grip on in his life.

Stray strands of dirty blond hair frame his face, casting little shadows over his features. His expression is blank- he's unsure of what he wants or is supposed to act.

Some pathetic part of him wants to be pitied. To come to you for comfort and to be held by you. He'd like to tell you that he loves you back, for once. Holland wants to reach out to you and say his thoughts. He wishes he had the courage to one day talk to you about his thoughts, not just skirt around your questions about how he is and how he's doing.

But the other part of him knows that he probably never will talk to you, willingly. You aren't his therapist, and why would you want to be? What's the point, if at all?

Why stay around, even?

If he could not save his wife, how could he protect you? How could he ever hope to care like you do if he can't even tell you about how his day went?

Holland knows he's a mess. A sopping, soaked-through milksop of a partner. His life is a wreck, and all he has to turn to in life are the few vices he can get his grubby, greased up hands on. He's afraid that all he knows how to do is take, and take, and take, and there's nothing he can do to give back.

What am I supposed to do?

[whumpy-wyrms]

UMMM… IT’S TIME TO GET WEIRD, OKAY? Bill Cipher and Anton meeting and getting silly is not leaving my head and it’s HIS FAULT. book of bill spoilers probably and some vague tllr spoilers that i’ve already talked about before

something something it is five years ago from present day tllr and Anton is depressed as fuck for reasons i cannot say (but you all can probably put the pieces together by now). he’s alone because Pierce left, he’s the most sad sopping pathetic wet cat he has ever been, and he decides to do a shit ton of horrible experiments on himself and clones of himself because he has nothing left and science is the only thing that he knows. but even still, he has no goal and no motive, his clones become horrible fucked up abominations that are an insult to life itself. he wallows away in his own misery and drinks glowing green science liquid to the ease the pain of reality and fucks with his own memories and he really doesn’t gaf anymore about what happens to him. this is all canon btw

ummm Bill fucking Cipher notices a genius scientist who’s alone and sad and has nothing to lose. you know what that means!

Anton’s a weirdo, Anton’s an outcast i mean he was created by a mad scientist and has lived isolated in a secret lab doing science all his life for fucks sake. he has no purpose anymore and Bill decides to give him one. Anton has never really considered the possibility of inter-dimensional travel because he and Pierce had always been focused on their goal of immortality and the limits of the human body. so this is something new and interesting and something that has absolutely nothing to do with Pierce so he jumps at the opportunity.

Anton is also. sad and alone! he wants a friend so bad and he is sooo easily manipulated! he hates humans (Pierce) and does not care if this weird floating triangle demon is a danger to humanity because every human he has ever known has either hurt so many people including him (Pierce) or left him (died).

they make a deal!!!! fuck yeah!!!! they shake hands and blue fire and shit!!!!!

so Anton finally finds his purpose again. and that purpose is helping this weird little muse in his head build a portal to other worlds. he does not know that Bill is only using him to create a gateway to the nightmare realm and cause the apocalypse so he can take over the universe. and if he did know that, he may or may not change his mind about all of this i mean he’s a bit fucked up too

Anton is kinda like Ford in this part, he sees Bill as a friend and likes hanging out with him and misses him when he leaves for months at a time. he lets Bill enter his mind whenever he wants and possess him (Banton) and thinks he’s the answer to everything. they have fun together. they get silly together.

um obviously this does not last forever as Bill is a sadistic manipulative freak who was only using Anton for his own personal gain and after Anton found meaning to life again he kinda realized that he DIDN’T want the world to end after all. Anton is scared as fuck of Bill now and tries to kill him just like Ford and that definitely drives him to the brink of madness. Anton whumpee arc am i right

OR maybeee not maybe he helped Bill do it and weirdmageddon happened and it was a fun and joyous time. Anton is weird!!!! he might have actually done it that son of a bitch!!!!

also debating if i want Anton to just move to Gravity Falls after Pierce leaves. maybe he is just like Ford and just wants to study the weirdness there and then comes across some stuff and summons Bill. but i also like the idea of Anton building that huge triangular portal in his own lab.

Dew sadly wouldn’t be in this au because it takes place five years before Anton decided to get his shit together and get another actual test subject. maybe this is a good thing. Basil is here though and hmmmm i dunno what her opinion on Bill would be honestly. i don’t know if Anton would actually tell her about Bill but i think he would. maybe they’re all friends

i don’t know what else to say ummmm i probably won’t actually Write this au but im definitely gonna draw stuff for it maybe in the form of tiny little comics and silly drawings. the idea of Bill possessing Anton is the silliest thing ever it fills me with so much joy. i’m not sure if they would fix each other or make each other worse. those two are just two silly guys looking for chaos and who cares if they’re a bit fucked up and evil honestly. my two favorite blorbos who make me the most insane are both rotating in my head at the same time and i’m interested to know how this will change me as a person

hold on a minute here i just thought of something ELSE! let’s say this au takes place years after Dew and Anton hypothetically go their separate ways. in this hypothetical scenario let’s say that after Basil died, Anton decided to let Dew go for real because he felt bad or something (actual au that has been a WIP for months lmao).

Anton meets Bill and weirdmageddon happens oopsie daisy. Anton’s regretting it and escapes Bill and is trying to survive the apocalypse while also trying to figure out a way to take Bill down. thennn he finds Dew :3 out in the wild. Dew is scared because he hasn’t seen Anton in years and he’s scared he’s gonna be taken back but um also the apocalypse is happening and Anton seems pretty fucked up and maybe this is his best chance at survival. maybe Anton came to Dew for help because he is literally the only other person he knows in the world because Anton is a little freak who doesn’t leave his forest and socialize with other human beings. maybe Dew realizes that Anton had literally nobody else to turn to. besides Pierce i guess but let’s say that when Anton first met Bill, they both killed Pierce together because he hates him.

the point is that this scenario is so wholesome and silly like yeah Dew hasn’t seen his tormentor in years and now he’s back and all sad and asking for help saving the world from the apocalypse that he caused!! Dew really doesn’t want anything to do with him but! he also doesn’t wanna die! and Anton is the only person who knows what he’s doing here

cue Bill using Dew against Anton like how he used Dipper and Mable and Stan against Ford. Anton cares about Dew and will do anything Bill wants just so he won’t hurt him. crazy shit guys my brain wow my brain

i probably have more stuff to say but this is everything so far. if this au is cringe and dumb do not tell me that alright my autism level is catastrophic and i’m thinking so much about this. i’m also gonna get a bill cipher tattoo once i get the money because i’ve wanted one since i was 12, that’s how much this weird triangle freak means to me. and yall already know how much Anton means to me so yeah… this au makes me a very happy camper

oh SHIT!!! WHAT ABOUT MAX??? well uhhhmmmm ummmm i’ll think of something! i’ll definitely think of something and post about it when i do! (or yall can throw more ideas at me and i will eat them up pls pls feed me i mean talk to me about this au i need enrichment in my enclosure)

[moonyinpisces]

my theory is that to continue with having the opening scene of each season be some kind of "beginning/before the beginning" sequence they might open s3 with crowley's original fall. and then in my mind's eye i see them showing him sad and sopping after he fell to him sad and lonely in the present in the rain or smth. for patheticness. or they make it about aziraphale feeling guilty and they cut to him in a desk in heaven, alone

ugh you see i am so conflicted because like. the original plan for my fic hdwtotl had a prologue that was the fall scene (which is just gathering dust in my docs rn lol). because yes i agree we would get a third flashback cold open just for symmetry’s sake but like. i personally adhere to the diehard belief that s3 will start with the remaining 1941 scene that establishes a kiss/almost kiss which will completely blow all the post s2 theories out of the water. just a violent restructuring and shaping of their relationship and how we interpreted the kiss at the end of e6. just the ultimate contextualization catered to me specifically

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Alright, response to last night's Anon, here we go:

I revieved an Anon yesterday from someone concerned that I was infantilizing my husband Seán ( @septiccoffeefreak ), like. that I didn't think he could do things for himself or make decisions and stuff.

I have no clue where that idea came from but I love him lots, and I have literal nightmares about being infantilized myself because I carry a lot of truama for that and am terrified about it. Its a huge trigger for me that leads to meltdowns and panic attacks all the time so the thought of doing that to my puppy makes me like actually sick so I like HAVE to clear this up like pronto!!!

I brainstormed some ideas on how this miscommunication could have happened and how I can add context; I'll be addressing different things that I think maybe could have been the trigger for this ask under the cut, tho I'm not sure where exactlyyyy this came from so I'm having to guess and spread a wide net.

Posts about him?? Idk what to title this section

I run all my jokes and photos and stuff that has to do with Seán past him and make sure they're okay with him. Every time. Even in DMs, even in actual conversation. I'm extremely careful about this.

Additionally there have been many times where he's told me a post was fine but I felt it was too much and didn't post it.

For example: he really likes these joke posts about like "oh I'm just a scared little deer oh no I'm a deer in headlights I'm so cringefail boy failure pathetic" and he makes similar posts. I don't think he's pathetic at all, he does definitely have some introverted tendencies and can be a little quiet sometimes but that's not a bad thing or pathetic!! Plus I think he's funny and charming and awesome and SO SMART?? Gah??? Anyways I think he's the best. He used to be a lot more anxious and worried and sad than he is now, and we've joked before that he's a "rescue" because of those videos of dogs who are super scared/nervous and then become happy and healthy over time.

I try not to joke about that too much though because I never want him to feel like he can't do something and I also don't want strangers to think he's pathetic. A lot of these bloggers he likes call themselves pathetic and sopping wet all the time and as fun as he seems to find calling himself a sopping wet little guy he's so...to me he's like perfect. And I don't like calling him that.

That being said he does have a sort of melancholic air to him, and I don't think that makes him pathetic. He also has this sort of soft beauty to him and I think it's very magical and pretty, but I don't think it's a sign of weakness either. I'm not like, good with words so I don't know how to describe it because he can be pretty in the way sad things are sometimes pretty, but... he's not sad or pitiful or weak. He makes me happy, and he's very interesting and smart and stuff. He's just like... gentle, and there's this weird association people have between gentleness/softness and being weak and that's kind of... bad.

When I try to express this feeling I have when I look at him and like how pretty he is in that soft way I sometimes get worried that the wording will give the wrong impression, and he'll tell me it's fine but I'll be like..."no I can't call you sopping wet I know you like to call yourself that but you're NOT WET you're cute in the way sopping wet animals sometimes are but you're not sopping wet or sad or in need of help and if I call you sopping wet people will think you are pathetic and if anyone thinks bad about you ever I'll EXPLODE EVERYWHERE and I don't know how to word the words I don't know how to!! AURGH!!" and he's like "calm down lol". Sometimes I worry more about this than other times.

If I ever call him my little meow meow or something it's not to say he's pathetic or weak. In fact to be honest? I feel like a lot of the time he's more capable than I am. He's strong and I can sort of rely on him in that way, he makes me feel safe. I feel like he could protect me from the whole world, you know? If he didn't hype me up so much I might even feel metaphorically small in comparison. (Literally I am smaller. I am tiny)

He's just...sweet and gentle and soft and cute/pretty/handsome/WOWWW. And I don't always know how to express that good because I'm not good with words like he is and sometimes he'll suggest or give me a word but unless we're writing fanfic together and both writing entire lines anyway I don't want to steal from him and take credit for his epic poggers brain and his epic poggers pretty big words he uses. I try to think of the describing words myself and put something together on my own even tho it is really hard...

The fact I would do literally anything for him and also I don't want anyone to be mean to him ever

I know full well Seán can protect himself??? He's extremely capable and smart. But he also deserves the world and he also, in a perfect amazing world, wouldn't HAVE to defend himself from mean people. When I post about wanting to protect him or how "I would literally kill for you babygirl" it's about loving him and wanting to help him and keep mean people away, not about him being unable to handle anything at all.

Wanting to defend him is all about loving him and thinking he's precious and WORTH defending. If you saw your best friend in a fight would you be like "oh well they're strong they can handle it haha" NO YOU WOULD JUMP IN AND BITE THE ATTACKER IF EVEN IF UR FRIEND IS TWICE YOUR SIZE ANS WOULD HAVE WON ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY DESERVE!!! SUPPORT!!!!! I would do anything for my babygirl no matter what. It doesn't matter if I could do it or even if I could do it any better than he could, it just matters that I can try. And I love him so much that GODDAMNIT I'm always gonna try.

ANXIETY/TALKING TO PEOPLES

I have never, EVER decided FOR Seán that I should do the talking. I usually try to encourage him to talk himself if he can and hype him up as long as he's comfortable and sure he wants to. But he usually doesn't WANT to talk to people, like at all- it's a rare occurrence. A special one that makes me jump for joy every time because it means he's feeling safer and getting healthier mentally- but a rare one.

Seán's anxiety can be crippling at times and I try to be there for him when it is. He helps me when I have mental problems too, and keeps me safe and talks me down. But I don't think any lesser of him just because he needs me to talk to employees sometimes, that would be awful!!! And he doesn't think lesser of me either if I have an autism meltdown or need help making food (he usually cooks because I struggle with it). Sometimes people just need help.

I don't talk to employees for him because I don't think he can talk to people at all- I actively encourage him to talk to people and try to push him to keep going whenever possible, offer him advice, tell him he's doing great and to just keep talking- but I talk to employees for him because sometimes he asks me to or gets so frozen that i try to comfort him but I can't get through and he's basically just about to cry, or is actively starting to cry.

If Seán is uncomfortable with something and doesn't want to do something, if he's nervous and upset, I'm not going to put him through that when I can easily sidestep the whole issue. I'm fine ordering for him at restaurants if it makes him happier and safer, but when he's feeling good enough to order for himself that makes me really happy!!!

Petnames

He asked for the petnames I call him. They make him blushy and happy. I call him princess and puppy and babygirl because he's shy about it but he really likes it and I want to make himb happy :3

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 11 react

ok i found chapter 11 translated by amnemonie on tumblr (thank you thank you thank you and if you want me to take this down i will!!) but there's no guarantee ill be able to find the rest lmAOo we'll see

HOT MAN!!! HOT MAN

i mean what no pathetic sopping wet man

cat face izaya i thought id never see you again

man after realizing there's a minidura tag i saw a post that was like "i wish minidura got animated like bsd wan" and like. YEAH. PLEASE

it would be the perfect revival of the durarara fandom pleaseeeeeee do it for meeeeeeee we could revive durarara like we revived trigun

and i need shizuo izaya and shinra cooking together being animated. please

anyway izaya looks like he really doesnt wanna be here in that last panel and i mildly spoiled myself on the comments/reblogs saying this one is really mean to izaya which you know i live for. [cracks knuckles] i hope he gets hit by a truck but like an emotional one because that's the only one he'd really react to

oh god he's more pathetic than i thought he'd be

they're really looking at him like "damn bitch you good" which is fair

bro summoned up all his courage to ask 😭rip bozo

??????????? THEY TOLD YOU HE'D BE WITH THEM

izaya simultaneously has the best social skills known to man and the WORST social skills known to man

ill never stop bringing this up but. now presenting orihara "i love humans because they're so unpredictable" izaya getting fucked by humans' predictability everybody

and here we see izaya walking awkwardly in his natural habitat, trying to eat cake with high schoolers /j

kadota casually calling out izaya on his bullshit bkgjdSGKHDSHds

he just wants to eat cakeeeee someone go with him

not me though i wouldnt be caught dead with that man

i swear walker's face gets longer every time i see him and it tickles me so much

aaaand cue shizuo on stage right

god bless erika for suggesting that he invite shizuo cuz id have done it myself

also "just today". are you implying that you want to see shizuo every other day. izaya.

WAIT

WAIT IS TODAY IZAYA'S BIRTHDAY

OH

oh my god thats actually sad okay

id say to ask namie but namie probably rejected him already without even letting him finish the question bkfdgjhgf

shinra keeping up the stupid anniversaries trend from that other chapter we love a consistent malewife

man shiki he wasnt even here for work 😭 at least he got some food although karasumi does not look that good if im being honest

at least compared to cake

shinraaaa you FORGOTTTT

may 4th is the date of my statistics exam but i swear ill celebrate it for you izaya. ill even mark it down on my calendar

oh 💀 namie is as delusional as i am. love that for her

he's even singing to himself ohhhhh poor baby...(i say this as if i'm not grinning wildly to myself in my room rn)

i swear i feel bad for him but he's so fun to bully

man i remember those fics where shizuo was the only one to remember izaya's birthday bgkjhfdgfd i guess those were founded from somewhere (even if his gifts were things like 'not chasing him today' or sending him black roses)

oh my god 😭 he's so desperate at this point i didnt think he'd actually be happy to see shizu-chan

even grabbing him by the arms bkgdssdkahdskjhgsdsd

this is gonna end badly though if the comments/reblogs i read have anything to say about it

😭yep the izaya bullying is real

SHIZUO NOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS BASICALLY THE WHOLE CAKE

izaya's conscious too 💀 MAN

part of me feels like this is narita's personal revenge against the shizaya fans in his fanbase askdbgskjhsdhgsd shizuo needs to be extra cruel to prove he's not gay

he's so happy to just get birthday textssssss this is so sad

[bunnyloaves]

mean streets posting in 2k23

what if mean streets drove me insane huh,, the streets sure were mean

anYWAYS i somehow liked this more than taxi driver hmm likE man i cannot say no to the most pathetic wet and sopping sad man ive ever seen, hes on the verge of a breakdown in like every scene, he looks like a muppet half the time im legit giggling KJFAHSDF

(how johnny boy is self destructive and uncaring, borderline suicidal with how confrontational he is, like u do not cuss somebody u owe money to in that way if u did not have a death wish for yourself o____o 

and regardless of how much charlie tries to help him out, he just bites the hand that feeds him, and even I felt frustrated with his character by mid film)

i like the religious guilt and christian overtones, makes me kinda sad how johnny is like a charity case for charlie and that sucks for the both of em (it also relates to the opening lines in the movie,, of you only make up for your sins on the streets and not in the church, so yanno thats how charlie atones for whatever religious guilt he’s feeling, helping out this poor guy downtrodden on the streets :(( )

but upon reading thru the tumblr truthers, theres this aspect of charlie’s coddling nature and johnny boy’s rejection of coddling (theres even the question of how earnest that coddling is, cuz when u think about it, it IS self serving, self purifying) back to the rejection, that only puts them both into deeper shit, the more charlie helps, the more johnny boy just retaliates, AND THE NARRATIVE DOOMS THEM, FUCK IM SO UPSET

like they literally cannot make each other better, they only make each other worse wtf, despite the intentions being semi-good

theres also those christian subtext to keep in mind

one (the flames of hell, the matchsticks, the way charlie keeps touching flames thru out the movie (flames are explosive n volatile yadda yadda and so on)) two (the st francis of assisi, not sure what thats meant to represent ngl) three (his christian monologuing tm, likE he’s babbling all about penance n shit when johnny boy walks in, like hello there is no het explanation for that scene wtf scorsese)

ok moving on

like charlie why do u keep vouching for johnny lmaoo, thats so sus n gay, ok moving onto my homo homo truthing

one (the car scene with the gay couple, like o___o uHM johnny boy is literally wearing the same colors as the guy that taunts ppl by asking to suck their dick, and yanno theyre pulled away by their respective partners as well JFASDF like hellO its not even subtext gay, its just textually gay)

two (how johnny boy and teresa wear the same colors, or their color language is the same, which is yellow, and i think that for a movie that uses colors somewhat distinctly, they mUSTVE HAD A REASON FOR THIS, like hello why is johnny boy’s color yellow, the same flamboyant color of the gay dude tm (which imo is self evident flamboyant colors for a flamboyant guy,,, but why is he dressed literally similarly to teresa ASDHFA))

three (the bedroom scene, need i say more, like why r u men in the same bed shuTTUP) 

four (the trash bin scene which was very cute imo like ok look at these baby girls) 

five (the graveyard scene, like ok johnny boy lying on the grave/concrete, like what was going on in charlie’s head at the time hmmm, like maybe just how close johnny could be to being dead and in a grave himself, if it weren’t for his interference siGHS, these men hurt me in ways)

six (the fist fight which was hURTFUL DUDE, HAD ME SOBBING WRITING ABOUT IT, like o___o johnny boy snapping about ‘never hitting him that way again’, then it cuts to him being hit, anD THEN the sudden ‘did i hurt u’, like i am exploding rn,, tHE TENDERNESS WTF, and it just shows how they bring out the worst in each other i cryINGH rn like why does johnny boy just take it, the punches n stuff o___o why is he taking it and latching on :(( )

seven (the red lights entrance scene, im losing my mind liKE HELLO, why is it framed that way?? johnny being his literal penance sOBBING RN)

eight (the rooftop scene, i remember some tumblrina truther out here saying something about how johnny is volatile, like a powder keg, instigating arguments and violence,,, and lets go back to the opening wherein charlie is all like theres two punishments from hell, its the spiritual and physical,, its the flames,, anyways my point is, is that charlie is in the very least drawn to johnny inasmuch as he serves as a means of atonement for him, and johnny biting the hand that essentially sustains him, every step of the way,, lIKE THEY ARE SO DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE PLEASE IM BEGGING)

but there's this mundane sadness to the whole movie and idk its effective AKDJFJF like it legit made me feel for these characs

cinematography wise, i do like it,, like it's obviously wonky being from the 70s n all but it was shot with intent (and a distinct visual style) and i like that

thE MUSIC THO oh my god does it slap,, ngl the music sells the movie for me AKDJFJ,, also why are like half the songs love songs o____o like hELLO care to explain this?

i liked this more than i thought I would, nice job scorsese, maybe this was the goncharov all along :))

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

very rough VERY EARLY acess to the game im making for mermay :) its a fishybois dating sim

you can't meet the shark boi yet but the routes in the game are

also i fricked up on some funfacts about jellyfish because i was tired i know they're coldblooded the games gotta be fixed in some weird places but i mostly am uploading so those who wanna acess the very first version of the game can, it includes some of the most basic features and a little story but you dont really get further than the first date

CREDIT TO RICOTTA WHO I WILL LINK IF THEY LIKE FOR THEIR AMAZING OST THEY MADE FOR IT SINCERELY I ACTUALLY CRIED :') THE MUSIC YOU HEAR IN THE GAME AQUARIUM IS BY HIM PLEASE SUPPORT MY BEAUTIFUL SON

marine biologist: Nikko, your coworker who wont stop making ocean puns, a sweet lil guy! he's just a funny little guy :D normal huma guy! platonic route means hes like, your bestie and kind of like a goofy brother character to you

jellyfish prince: Naonari, the pathetic prince of the sea, a literally sopping wet creature that got so sad no one liked him when he got plopped in charge of his kingdom after an entire lifetime of 'sit in tower and read and never have friends' that he gave up on ruling and flopped face first onto a beach util Nikko found him and took him in, he needs you to teach him how to like, have friends...and a social life. if you chose platonic route he can either be a big brotherly or younger brotherly figure toward you depending on how you view it

The terrestrial biologist: Ketsueki the shark man. He is trying desprately to obey his personal code of ethics regarding his interactions with land creatures, and so if you hug him he'll probably cry because he thinks he'll be a terrible researcher if he hugs you or speaks to you, despite this, you can romance him and he'll stop being so silly about it. Nerdy shark boi. if you chose the platonic route he becomes a sort of fatherly/big brotherly figure to you instead :)

you cannot romance anyone yet but you can get to know them a litlte :) game is HEAVILY in development plans are in the works to rework sprites and such, but i hope you enjoy!

i tried to upload it to itch several times and it said no because i had too many files so sorry its a google drive thing :') i hope that's not a dealbreaker

heres some screenshots! again this is early development so it looks crunchy but hey its free so-

also yes ive realized theres a problem with the text boxes fading out like that ill have to correct clearly based on how its become very hard to read- sorry about that

and seriously please ignore the weird mistakes i made with the jellyfish funfacts <3 just uh, pretend i got it right okie dokie~

[buried-stars]

OH LET'S FUCKING GO. goro akechi, amame doi, fuka yamagishi, gyu-hyuk lee, maya fey, mukuro ikusaba :3

yippee!

goro

Sexuality Headcanon: this is a gay man. we all know it to be true. Gender Headcanon: some kind of trans and non-binary swag going on here... A ship I have with said character: eiichi mukuhira because oc/canon isn't dead A BROTP I have with said character: frankly his (potential) friendships with all the PT make me feel insane in one direction or another, but special mention to the sumi goro brotp. i so desperately need more platonic content between them that doesnt have any romance as a backdrop. goro's like "i don't have friends" and sumi says "yeah we're BEST friends :D" A NOTP I have with said character: its so hard to be a goroboy who doesnt like any ship with him. but any of the girls or akira makes me want to start attacking people with hammers A random headcanon: after royal he becomes roommates with annshiho. i love it when lesbians adopt a pathetic little man. shiho is still trying to figure out whether or not he's joking about having killed people (he's not) General Opinion over said character: you know exactly how i feel about him and if i start trying to summarize it here im going to end up with an essay so instead im just gonna glitch out of existence

amame

Sexuality Headcanon: LESBIAN!!!! Gender Headcanon: she/they-isms A ship I have with said character: mamebiki is the only one that could ever matter to me. waaauuuggghhh A BROTP I have with said character: i want to believe her and iris rly are besties. show it to me uchikoshi... A NOTP I have with said character: gen is a father figure to her. fuck you. A random headcanon: AI3 PSYNCER AMAME I KNOW IT TO BE TRUE General Opinion over said character: incredible how she went from being a joke side character in the first game to one of the most interesting and complex characters of all time. i adore her. she did nothing wrong.

fuuka

Sexuality Headcanon: ace lesbian Gender Headcanon: i honestly dont think ive ever thought about it...? A ship I have with said character: funnily enough i don't have one! maybe minako idk A BROTP I have with said character: i think her friendship with yukari is really sweet A NOTP I have with said character: i will never get the appeal of her and natsuki. even in 2017 i was like "why do we want her to date the girl who harassed her to the point that she thought she killed herself" A random headcanon: she carries minako's old earphones in her bag all the time General Opinion over said character: my sweetie <3 she silly. i don't have a ton to say because it's 5:30 in the morning but i like her a lot

gyu-hyuk

Sexuality Headcanon: undoubtedly gay. look at him Gender Headcanon: CANON* he/she. (*it's a typo but i can dream) A ship I have with said character: gyuyoon makes me feel like im trapped inside a salad spinner (affectionate) A BROTP I have with said character: gyu and juyoung... they're so besties A NOTP I have with said character: either of the girls :P honestly i can't see him with anyone besides do-yoon A random headcanon: his eyes are brown those are colour contacts. General Opinion over said character: mr sad eyes sopping wet tragic oarfish id do anything for him. he did a lot wrong but hes still my guy. get him help pronto

maya

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian (do you see a pattern) Gender Headcanon: trans girl :D A ship I have with said character: emamaya my beloved <33 A BROTP I have with said character: phoenix and maya are the fucking blueprint. i adore them so much. siblings of all time A NOTP I have with said character: i mean aside from obvious garbage i am a massive frnmy hater. we all been knew A random headcanon: kurain is a vegetarian village so maya's love of burgers come from them being forbidden at home General Opinion over said character: ive loved her since the day i picked up aa1 way back in 2014. my dear darling

mukuro

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian of course Gender Headcanon: non-binary <3 A ship I have with said character: gee! i sure wonder! who could i, the person who popularized ikuzono, possibly ship with mukuro? it's a mystery. A BROTP I have with said character: chapter one trio still does something to my brain tbh A NOTP I have with said character: known nk hater since 2015 and this will never change A random headcanon: she's afraid of clowns General Opinion over said character: i just want her to be happy