#like the stuff where they are debating the ethics of murder and you see what hurting nanako does to everyone which works bc

[raven]

looking at the tags on that post about persona 4 like Ladies do not play that game the saddest thing is that it isnt even funny at least not consistently enough to make the pain go away. it's mostly just kanji and he's treated poorly enough that even when he says funny things my soul aches for him. you have to get until late fall for it to be bearable (ha) and have moments that can actually make up for what the game put me through. and after that much of it is still intolerable, there are just moments of brilliance that make you think "wow, maybe this game is good now!" it's such a frustrating experience. and then you get the killer and the third semester of that game is... Fine. it's mostly nothing. just more of the game until the end but you cant even look forward to the payoff of getting the killer

[wishcamper]

Gone Baby Gone: birth control and the ethics of risky sex

CW: abortion, sexual violence.

Creds: licensed counselor with expertise in addiction, trauma, and gay stuff. Experience with tx exclusively for pregnant people and young parents with addictions.

Okay class! Today we’ll be talking about abortion oh my god don’t run away I’ll make it worth your while I promise.

Firstly, a disclaimer: I’m not interested in debating whether abortion should be legal/allowed/is moral or immoral. The research bears out, unequivocally, that access to comprehensive reproductive and family planning options improves everyone’s lives (1). And again, not actively anti-SJM or any characters, just exploring themes and what they say about us.

It’s so funny to me that NO one liked the pregnancy plot line in ACOSF, whether they love or hate or are indifferent (me) to Rhysand. And I think that’s because we, the largely femme audience engaging with the material, recognize the strings of violence weaved into it, possibly not even consciously but on a deep, bodily, instinctual level.

The 2007 crime drama Gone Baby Gone centers on a conversation about motherhood, parenting fitness, and what society owes to children. Beneath that though, and I believe unintentionally, is another story about pregnancy-capable people’s autonomy and the cycle of oppression around reproductive rights.

I’m going to spoil the movie for you - I don’t want you to watch it because Casey Affleck is a creep, and it’s not that good anyway. There’s a whole mystery plot, but the basics are: drug addict Helene’s daughter Amanda is kidnapped, then later thought to be killed but they never find her body. Casey Affleck, Boy Detective uncovers a scheme by two rogue cops to fake Amanda’s death and kidnap her because they think Helene isn’t a good mom. And they’re kind of right; once Amanda comes home, Helene is an incredibly neglectful mother, and the movie wants you to go woahhh, maybe those murdering unethical cops were right after all!

Sure, Jan.

The movie ends with the lead character wondering if Helene, for whom he’s literally killed people to bring her child back, is even fit to raise Amanda in the first place, even interested. And here’s where I feel complicated, because on one hand - yes, this is your child, and she’s completely innocent in all this and doesn’t deserve abuse and neglect. AND what were this women’s other options? Does anyone ask? Living in deeply Catholic working class Boston, did she have access to birth control? Could she have gotten an abortion? Would her culture (and her internalization of it) even allow her to entertain that option? Could she perhaps be using substances because of the circumstances of her life over which she has no control? (See Nesta, Interrupted for more on that.)

So I ask myself: what does it mean in our culture, as a person who can become pregnant, to have sex with someone who can impregnate you? What happens when your body becomes the battlefield on which larger conflicts are played out?

I’ve been thinking on these question a lot recently because my IUD is about to expire and my doctor recommended a back up method while I wait to get a new one. This has prompted my husband and me go farther into the kids conversation and consider not just what it would mean for me to get pregnant on purpose or accidentally, but what it would mean for me to get pregnant here. Where we live, abortion is technically legal but functionally impossible to find. Even for a wanted pregnancy, if it became life-threatening I might have extremely limited options.

This makes any sex inherently risky for me. IUDs failure rates range from 0.3% to 2.3%, but that still means as few as 3 in 1000 and as many as 2-3 in 100 users still get pregnant. And IUDs significantly raise the likelihood of medically dangerous pregnancies if a fetus is conceived (2). The long odds are somewhat comforting, but if I were to have an ectopic or other life-threatening pregnancy complication, I can’t trust that my local doctors would be able to save my life, legally. 

And we have talked about how we both feel strongly: it’s my life first. My husband says he would rather have me, and he would rather any children of ours have me, too. And there’s this sort of sick sense of gratitude I feel, because that is, to me, the only answer, but it feels like such a kindness nonetheless.

So we get to ACOSF (you forgot this was about ACOTAR, right? Me too.). When they decided to start trying to get pregnant, Rhys had to know the risk was there. My boy, you are half Illyrian. Even without Feyre being Mystique, get out your punnet square and do the math. Your baby always had a 25% chance of having wings. Conception was always risky. I refuse to believe he didn’t know that, and it was irresponsible of him to not inform her, a person who only entered his world like two years ago.

Then they conceive a baby with wings that, as far as they know, she has no way of safely delivering. If that’s true, why couldn’t Feyre have an abortion? I’m serious. They found out very early the baby had wings. It’s not unlike an ectopic pregnancy, or even a very small person becoming pregnant. Adolescent mothers (age 10-19) (god it feels gross to type that) are at much higher risk for conditions like eclampsia, endometritis, and systemic infections, not to mention fetal complications (3). Regardless of the details, Feyre’s body is not equipped to handle this pregnancy, and yet they never seem to explore the option of terminating it.

Which begs the question: did Feyre even know abortion was an option? Is it an option in Prythian?

In my opinion, probably. If the fae have contraception (let’s not even get into STDs and the ’they have magical healing’ BS), they must have abortion. The first record of an induced abortion was on an Egyption Papyrus around 1600BC, though the practice likely well predates that. The Ancient Greeks drove a plant to extinction for its abortifacient properties (4). And even when banned, people find ways, because they have to. Reproductive health has long been of importance to pregnancy-capable people for reasons of safety, resources, and survival. 

At the end of the day, Feyre is allowed to carry a pregnancy to term that she knows will kill her. That’s her right to bodily autonomy being exercised freely, and I will never begrudge her that. But imagine if abortion were an open option for her, and she knew the birth would kill her, and then Rhys. Knowing that, what do you think she’d choose? To die, bringing her mate along with her, and leave her child parentless, if they even survive? I really struggle to see that. Feyre loves hard, and knows what it’s like to grow up with extreme neglect. I cannot imagine her condemning a child to the same circumstance she found so damaging. But Rhys doesn’t tell her, forbids anyone else to, and possibly robs her of the ability to terminate the pregnancy. And also Madja, I don’t forgive her either for glossing over it. Girl needs to retake her boards.

In the beginning of my career, I worked at an inpatient substance use treatment center that was specifically for pregnant people and mothers with young children. They were allowed to bring two kids under the age of 5. I could write a million words about the flaws in that place, but it was at least something. In working with these people, the same themes came up over and over:

They wanted to get jobs but couldn’t afford childcare. 

Caring for children kept them isolated from support networks and financially strapped.

The daily maintenance and self-focus of sobriety felt at odds with being responsible for children. Ironically, that neglect of self often created the perfect conditions for relapse.

Children kept them tethered, legally and/or personally to abusive partners.

They received extreme judgment, even while seeking help, for “doing this to their children”.

They did not have adequate access to reproductive autonomy, whether financially, from religious beliefs, or otherwise.

This evidence is purely anecdotal, but I do think it speaks to the larger cycle of covert violence and policing of women and pregnancy-capable people’s bodies. It is well-documented that lack of reproductive freedom has a direct negative effect on mental health and wellbeing of people of child -bearing age (5). There is also a much larger intersection to this conversation when it comes to race, class, and the systemic oppression of people of color via reproductive restriction, but Feyre is privileged in the ACOTAR world for the most part so this doesn’t touch her. She doesn’t have to wonder if she can afford a baby, or if her husband is going to be racially profiled and taken to jail or just straight up murdered by law enforcement. (and this is not to downplay the experiences Rhysand have, that Sarah doesn’t give us, being a mixed race man, more so that he is in an extreme position of power.)

I think it’s a shame we didn’t get to explore this in ACOSF with Cassian and Nesta. They jump in the sack even after learning Nesta’s body could not handle an Illyrian baby. No amount of ‘the monthly aid’ justifies not having an honest and thorough conversation about what having sex means before they sleep together. Cassian must feel real confident in the birth control options of Prythian to be spreading his soldiers around so willy nilly. And I just hope, for all their sakes, that he’s right.

Ibis Reproductive Health and Center for Reproductive Rights, “Evaluating Priorities: Measuring Women’s and Children’s Health and Well-being against Abortion Restrictions in the States,” (2017).

Kim SK, Romero R, Kusanovic JP, Erez O, Vaisbuch E, Mazaki-Tovi S, Gotsch F, Mittal P, Chaiworapongsa T, Pacora P, Oggé G, Gomez R, Yoon BH, Yeo L, Lamont RF, Hassan SS. The prognosis of pregnancy conceived despite the presence of an intrauterine device (IUD). J Perinat Med. 2010;38(1):45-53. doi: 10.1515/jpm.2009.133. PMID: 19650756; PMCID: PMC3418877.

World Health Organization: WHO. (2023, June 2). Adolescent pregnancy. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy#:~:text=Adolescent%20mothers%20(aged%2010%E2%80%9319,birth%20and%20severe%20neonatal%20condition.

Muvs - Abtreibung in der Antike. (n.d.). https://muvs.org/en/topics/termination-of-pregnancy/abortion-in-antiquity-en/

Liu SY, Benny C, Grinshteyn E, Ehntholt A, Cook D, Pabayo R. The association between reproductive rights and access to abortion services and mental health among US women. SSM Popul Health. 2023 May 12;23:101428. doi: 10.1016/j.ssmph.2023.101428. PMID: 37215399; PMCID: PMC10199416.

[croc-odette]

the way it took less episodes for tng to begin to humanize the borg the most inhuman trek villains who were actively built up as literally like faceless drones there wasnt much of an ethical implication about killing but literally their second appearance in best of both worlds already trying to imagine what it would be like to be a borg drone from picards perspective and next they show up in i borg where its like ok we take the normal star trek approach of seeing every living being as worthwhile and not inherently monstrous and so on that was fewer episodes than what theyre doing with the gorn its like crazy

Even just from a style perspective, the borg spent a few episodes like ‘oh no, scary!’ And then bc that would have been boring to just keep doing, they started to do eps like ‘what if we captured a borg, could we ethically send it back with a disease to kill all of them’ or even just some pure drama of ‘what if captain picard…. BECAME a borg???’ And then an episode following up on the guilt of that. And even then, I was surprised how few tng episodes were about the borg. Snw is hamstrung by having half the eps in a season, but instead of really packing new stuff in, they keep wasting time on ‘what if we had cool guns to kill gorn monsters with’. Which while fun or silly in its own self-aware genre, feels really out of place and boring in Star Trek.

I think it also is just an incoherent view of the gorn as a species. They’re instinct-driven violent predators with no intelligence; but they’re also smart enough to build ships and space suits? They’re cannibalistic, but they’re also able to work together to command ships. They’re animals who are just trying to eat; but actually they’re intelligent enough to be ‘pure evil’. It’s whatever is convenient in the moment to justify unexamined thrill in murdering them.

If they were animals with instinctive behavior, then I think the Star Trek precedent would be: let’s defend ourselves and get the fuck out of here, but also these are just animals trying to survive and reproduce (ie: picard wouldn’t develop a bloodthirsty vengeful hatred against all bears if a bear killed a crew member). There is no ethical behavior behind animals eating and surviving. A wasp is kind of gross when it reproduces by injecting its eggs into another insect, but it’s not ‘evil’.

But that would mean the gorn wouldn’t be intelligent enough to have spaceships, which creates the convenient problem that our brave heroes HAVE to keep killing them without debate bc the gorn are able to pursue them! So somehow the gorn are smart enough to build spaceships capable of pursuing starfleet ships. They are smart enough for their actions to be considered ‘evil’. But not smart enough to be considered a race with a culture or intellect.

I’ve already talked about how the ep where they say the gorn block telepathy, meaning spock can’t talk to them, is a deliberate way of writing off diplomacy as a possibility. Those nasty gorn are just so mean and violent (and capable enough) that they block telepathy! It’s their fault! Which prevents a devil in the dark Horta solution, and allows the show to shrug and keep using guns as a solution.

I say all of this crap not because I really care about the integrity of the gorn. Who cares, it’s a fun alien. But in a franchise that wants to claim political awareness and goodness, its unsettling to dissect repeated writing choices over and over again (not just about the gorn) that support classic conservative and jingoistic talking points. “The enemy isn’t human or even intelligent, it’s an animal operating on base instincts; except when it’s so smart it can outwit our brave soldiers. And when you kill them, you can ENJOY killing them, because it’s one more dead enemy.”

The borg, changelings, jem hedar, Klingons, romulans— they were handled, some more than others, in ways that should invite criticism and skepticism about the intentions of the show. But they were humanized and explored further than ‘excuse to hand everyone an assault rifle and swat armor.’ A new show would ideally be improving or challenging past shows’ failures or missteps, not taking a huge step back. The gorn problem is even more glaring because it’s a sharp and bleak turn from the themes of trek shows that precede SNW, and from the actual episode the gorn come from.

[hermannsthumb]

you should totally do something with ksci janitor’s vamp newt it’s so just so good

i sure will! in a vampire mood this weekend. @k-sci-janitor's vampire newt found here. warnings for quick mention of drinking, allusions to sexy stuff, and also the different kind of drinking you'd expect from a vampire fic (tho on the vague side)

-------------------

The circumstances that led Newt down the unwitting path of immortality and general un-dead-ness are, in hindsight, honestly kind of embarrassing. It'd be one thing if he could say it happened in the pursuit of, like, knowledge, like the fierce jellyfish sting scar on his wrist leftover from a research expedition when he was twenty-two or the equally fierce one on his knee received in response to his question (at the age of five) of what would happen if I jumped out of this very tall tree?, or even something unrelated to his extensive biology career, something impressive, y'know, Van Helsing style, something like tracking down some vampire king and barely escaping with his life (un-life?)—not what really happened, which was little more than a bad date. And not even the worst date that Newt's been on, if you can believe it.

Newt was young and stupid then. He still is young and stupid, technically, though the former by appearance only. (Eternally pushing thirty. If he could've picked, he would've done twenty-eight, just before his handful of grey hairs started cropping up. Newt's had almost forty-five years of staring in the mirror at those four fucking grey hairs. He gave up dyeing them around the nineties. Not worth it. Still annoying.) He liked to do what young and stupid people did, like get stupid tattoos, and have a stupid haircut, and get drunk at stupid punk shows and not stumble home until he'd had at least one regrettable hook-up with a stranger and maybe lost his wallet. (The two were often related.) That particular thing was what did him in that night. It was a different time back then, man—if a dude showed even the slightest inkling that he ran in Newt's sort of circle, if you caught his drift, Newt fucking jumped at the chance.

(The band was on their second set of the evening and Newt had already screamed himself hoarse with singing along. He'd ducked outside in a back alleyway for only a second to get some fresh air, the club suddenly too hot and smokey for him to handle, and was just about to go back inside and close out his tab for the night when he realized he wasn't alone. There was someone—he was sure—lurking in the shadows a few feet away. He could hear breathing. He could see—eyes, maybe, in the dim neon light of the bar sign overhead. "Hello?" he'd called.

"Have a light?" the person called back.

They emerged from the shadows, and Newt felt himself relax at once. It was some spooky-looking guy he remembered seeing in the club, leather jacket, boots heavier than Newt's, dark hair and eyeliner. Tall. Newt remembered him, firstly, because he thought he was hot, and secondly, because he swore he caught the guy staring at him at least three times, and to Newt, that was as good as any pick-up line. He was wagging an unlit cigarette at Newt now. He was taller than Newt thought he was back in the bar—much taller, at least a full head on Newt. His eyes were a golden-brown, almost yellow, like a cat's, and Newt found himself unable to tear his own away from them. "L—light?" Newt echoed.

The guy stuck the cigarette in his mouth and arched a perfect eyebrow. Newt didn't smoke, but he did keep a lighter on him for occasions like this. He fumbled through his pockets for it while the guy stepped closer. "I was watching you," he told Newt, while Newt raised the lighter to the cigarette, "in there."

The flame danced and glinted against his eyes. Newt swallowed. "Uh-huh?" he said.

He flicked the lighter shut, leaving them both bathed in nothing but pink neon. A hand slid up against the wall next to Newt's right shoulder. Another plucked at the left lapel of his jacket. Newt was still staring at those eyes. "What's your name?" the guy said, in a puff of cigarette smoke.

"Um." Newt's leather jacket was being pushed off his shoulders. He felt his long hair being tucked to the side of his neck. All at once something seemed in snap in Newt—some reminder of where he was, and what he came here hoping for in the first place. Some hot dude was eyeing Newt up all night long, and now he was actually coming onto Newt, and Newt was about to get laid. He grinned. "Newt," he said. "Just call me that. You were watching me, huh?"

"All night," the guy said.

Newt's jacket hit the ground with a soft thump. A knee was being pushed between his. Newt felt his cheeks heat up a little—he wasn't used to people being this forward with him, and especially not in a semi-public place like this. Usually they at least made a show of offering up their apartment first. "What, um, what for?" he said.

They were kissing. Newt was clinging to the back of his jacket. And then he was kissing Newt's neck, and then he was—

"That kinda hurts," Newt mumbled. "Um, dude, I think your—your fuckin', tongue piercing cut me, or something. It's—"

It was hard to keep his eyes open. His neck felt weird. The guy was into biting, apparently, biting really hard, and yikes, that was going to leave a super embarrassing hickey that Newt would have to explain to his students somehow on Monday, but it also felt really good, like, Newt was maybe getting off kinda good, and Newt thought, dizzily, that he should at least return the favor before he finished up and collapsed in a happy heap on the ground. So he did.

The guy pulled back with a hiss. "Ow. What—?"

Newt tasted something coppery in his mouth, and he panicked and swallowed on instinct. "Oh, shit, dude, I'm sorry," he slurred. His voice sounded like it was a million miles away. "I was trying to be—sexy. Um." There was blood on the guy's chin. He was staring at Newt in something akin to horror. Dark circles were spotting Newt's vision. "I think you cut your lip," he said, and then he passed out.

Newt was alone when he woke up. It was still dark, too. He walked the two miles home, collapsing in bed, fully-clothed, just before dawn, and he didn't wake up again until sunset. He forgot his jacket, but at least he remembered his wallet this time.)

So, anyway, Newt thinks he can be forgiven if he...embellishes stuff a little when, for the first time in his whole long life, he finally spills the details to someone. Also, no way is he admitting the truth to Hermann of all people.

"There were a bunch of murders in the area at the time," he says, while Hermann, angled on his side next to him in bed, watches him raptly. It's kind of weird pillow talk, but their pillow talk rarely isn't weird. Usually Hermann will launch into a critique of Newt's latest pet theory before Newt's even caught his breath. At least he very courteously waited for Newt get a glass of water from the bathroom first this time. "Really brutal ones. Like, throats torn out, blood drained. Really nasty shit. Everyone was saying they were some kinda bizarre wolf pack attacks, but I knew better."

"Of course you did," Hermann says, running his hand down Newt's chest, and Newt can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. (He has a feeling he is.)

"You bet," Newt says. "It took me months of, um, super hard research. Finally I hunted him down to this—" Newt debates the coolest lair possible of a vampire, and then remembers Lost Boys, which, even though he resents it slightly for totally stealing the vampire vibes he was going for, is still a kick-ass movie. "—this weird cave, where he lived. The king of the vampires. I won, obviously, but he fought back, and he managed to infect me just before I hammered the, um, the wooden stake into his heart."

"So courageous," Hermann says. He reaches up and tucks a piece of Newt's long hair back. Hermann being totally cool with the whole vampire thing, and maybe even possibly into the whole vampire thing, is probably the last thing in the world Newt expected from him. They're no strangers to hooking up during long late nights of science, but Newt swears it's gotten more frequent. "You must've been terrified."

"Nah," Newt says, though he remembers the glint of the flame off those yellow eyes, and he shivers. Hermann notices; his eyes, not yellow, but a warm shade of brown that makes Newt feel like he's being wrapped in a blanket, soften. If Newt could still blush, he would. "I'm—um—I'm pretty brave."

Newt hadn't exactly been planning on telling Hermann about the whole thing, but (last week) he had the very unfortunate timing of beginning a late-night dinner just as an oblivious Hermann strolled back into the lab to pick up his forgotten pair of glasses. To his credit, he only freaked out a little when he saw Newt draining a blood bag like a fucking Capri-Sun, and even then (after what felt like ten years of horrible, horrible silence) all he said was "You're the one who's been stealing those from medical?"

Look. Newt hasn't drank from a human being the entirety of his un-life, and he doesn't plan on it any time soon. He's...a vegetarian. Effectively. It's sort of the reason he picked up a medical degree along the way once he got tired of breaking into blood banks. Even if it's still a little ethically dubious to steal blood like that, at least he's not swooping around on unsuspecting people like that—goth asshole who swooped in on him did. (Newt's never managed to find out who he was—he suspects he was some sort of vampire drifter in town that night just to find a victim. And Newt just had to think with his dick at the worst possible time.)

Hermann tucks another strand of Newt's hair back. Newt also did not expect how fast Hermann became cool with the whole thing, but on the other hand, giant aliens are clawing their way out of the ocean on a bi-monthly basis these days. It's hard to be skeptical about most things. ("Well, it does make logical sense," Hermann had said with an eyeroll. "When you consider some of your rather more bizarre quirks, I mean. I ought to have guessed it ages ago. I suppose that's why you have that awful haircut," and that stung, because yeah, Newt hasn't felt like changing it up since the seventies, and why should he, it kinda rules? but he just laughed it off and said, "You're one to fucking talk, dude!") "Newton," Hermann says now, gently, "what actually happened?"

Newt sighs. Hermann always knows when he's lying about shit. "I was making out with a vampire in an alleyway and then he bit me. And—um—I kinda didn't notice at first, 'cause it felt... good."

"Mm," Hermann says. The corner of his mouth twitches up. "That's more along the lines of what I expected. That, or you were hounding him for details like a proper biologist and he got tired of answering your inane questions."

"Very funny," Newt says. "Ha."

Hermann rolls away from him and stretches his arms above his head. Newt watches his throat work as he yawns, swallowing down a sudden lump in his own, and he feels a surge of something hot and—alien—in the pit of his stomach. "Over forty years," Hermann says. He picks up Newt's discarded sweatshirt from the floor and tugs it down over his head. "You must get terrifically lonely."

Newt half-shrugs. "I guess. I'm kinda used to it by now." His dad (who never brought up how Newt's aging seemed to be at a standstill when they saw each other, not once) is long-gone. Newt's tried dating, but no one's ever seemed to be into it as much as he is—and besides, it's not like he could ever do the actual til death do us part thing unless he went against every ethical bone in his body and made someone like him. When the internet became a thing, he considered making a forum or something to find more of his kind, but the thought everyone just being like the guy who accidentally turned him in the first place terrified him and he killed the page before it even left infancy. So, without any better ideas, Newt forged some paperwork and leaned pretty hard into the world of academia to fill up his sad little hole of a heart, resigned himself to casual flings with anyone who seemed interested, and it mostly worked. Mostly. And then the kaiju came along, and then so did... "You make it a little bit better," he confesses.

Hermann lays back down next to him. "I do?" he says.

Newt thinks he sees something like that hot, hungry feeling he felt in his stomach flash behind Hermann's eyes. He nods.

Hermann suddenly kisses Newt, pulling him down on top of him, and then tugs the collar of Newt's stolen sweatshirt down below his collarbone. He drags Newt's hand up to press against his throat. Newt feels the erratic beat of Hermann's pulse beneath his fingertips, his heart pounding against his ribcage (pressed up against Newt's silent one), and he almost moans. "Have you ever...?" Hermann murmurs, gazing up at Newt through his dark eyelashes.

"N—never," Newt stammers. "I told you."

"Do you want to?" Hermann says. Newt tries not to gape. "Just a bit at a time, whenever you need. You wouldn't have to steal those silly blood bags anymore. And—" He hesitates. "I admit I am curious. About the sensation."

"Um," Newt says. "I—"

He feels something sharp poking his lower lip. Fangs. His fangs. Oh, shit, he's never had that happen before. He forces himself off of Hermann before he does something stupid.

"Maybe, um, maybe later?" he squeaks, while Hermann just smiles at him.

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

i ain’t done anything for @tolkienocweek yet, mostly because my covid-induced neet-dom has decoupled me from any association with sidereal time and thus there’s no way i could guarantee getting something out on its specific day. still, i do have one character that could potentially qualify for day 3 (background characters) or day 4 (self-inserts), sorta. i’d like to introduce you all to the proprietor of the fëanorian ethics department, the as-yet-nameless fed elf

fed elf is a... moderately idealised self-insert of mine, though she’s taking on a life of her own

she’s also a noldo. of course she is

her Noldorin Craft™ is, as i’ve said before, arguing. she has very strong opinions about almost everything and will debate them at length

she’s moderately infamous for it in tirion

she’s especially fond of philosophy, in the ancient-greek asking-a-million-rhetorical questions style. what should we do? why do we do the things we do? why do the valar get to tell us what to do?

... you can probably tell which side of the fëanor/fingolfin debate she landed on, if it wasn’t already obvious

she’s not particularly close to any of the future capital-H House, but she is in their rough orbit. one of the miscellaneous guild trolls that form the rank-and-file of their initial expeditionary force

idk if she’s ~devoted to the cause enough to go to formenos, but when the trees get eaten and fëanor rolls up into tirion with the solution to all their spider problems, she is all for it

she’s a passing acquaintance of maedhros from those times when he’d show up in her guild hall for debate night, so she probably ends up with his crew, at least initially

... there’s a very good chance her first attempts at crafting a new noldorin ethical system happen on that horrible night aboard the blood-stained swanships of alqualondë

in any case, she gets good enough at murder to not die before the brothers hellspawn are divvying up east beleriand, and the formerly reasonably undelineated fëanorian host is splitting up into its various garrisons

most people stay with whoever they’re already riding with, but there are exceptions. she is one of them, as soon as she hears about caranthir’s Plans she immediately switches allegiance to the future lord of thargelion

he’s deliberately trying to set up on the trade routes! they’re gonna make contact with the dwarves! there are apparently trails leading over the blue mountains, links to communities of elves unlike she’s ever seen!

so many new people to argue with!!!!!!

so she heads up to lake helevorn, and helps with setting up the city. she winds up filling some middling role in east beleriand’s military bureaucracy, when she’s not on orc-killing duty

but her true passion is *~ethics~*

there is actually a practical component to this. due to Certain Events the noldor (especially the fëanorians) aren’t as-well suited to their pre-darkening moral codes as they might have once been

they need a new one, with contingencies for, like, murder, and all the other new situations they’ll encounter in this new world! the questions of what’s right and wrong have been blown right open, and fed elf is possibly the happiest she’s been in her life. they’re building everything else from first principles, why not this?

and the fëanorian host in aggregate does actually care about morality, even though outsiders never believe that. it’s what separates them from the orcs (in their minds at least); they’re doing everything for a Cause, not for destruction’s sake alone. say what you want about the fëanorians, their problem was never a lack of ideals

she gets people coming in sometimes, wanting to know what the right thing to do in a situation is. either that, or they think she’s wrong about something and want to explain why in depth, which is almost as fun

soon enough, there’s a small shop just off the main streets of lake helevorn called the fëanorian ethics department

(she’s the only one with a shop, but she’s not the only member of the host with Opinions. the guy on the other side of the market district whose system is fairly similar in the broad strokes but completely different in the details is her personal archnemesis)

for most of the first age, fed elf has it pretty good. by her standards, at least, and she’ll happily exposit at length as to why they’re the only ones that matter

the work on the system of ethics never quite stops, but it does slow down. she’s less prescriptivist than most noldor, so she does a lot of observation and interviewing and stuff, and also new things keep happening for her to cover, but she does manage to nail down the basics!

she does consultation, in varying levels of official capacity, but she’ll also just. answer anyone who comes in with a question. or asks one within earshot

it’s mostly noldorin fëanorians she has debates with, the sindar and atani generally prefer to ask her whatever they want to know with minimum fuss, but whenever she gets a real fight going they all join the crowd. watching fed elf argue with people is one of lake helevorn’s municipal spectator sports

she also has conversations with travellers! these usually start when some newcomer is staring in befuddlement at the sign outside her shop and she takes the opportunity to pounce

she asks them detailed questions about their own ethical systems, which she files away for potential future incorporation/argument ammunition. they fairly frequently ask questions of their own, most often variations on ‘you guys seriously have morals?’

sometimes this even turns into a proper ethical debate! these aren’t usually as well-argued or intense as the ones she has with other fëanorians, particularly if she’s not talking to a noldo, but when she meets someone who’s a proper match for her it is the highlight of her year

running the shop does generate a fair bit of paperwork she tends to be too emotionally invested in to deal with properly, so she hires help now and then. one recurring underling is a clumsy perpetually-ill atan who is nevertheless really good with the filing and holds fierce opinions of their own, even if they hide under the table whenever anyone so much as raises their voice

(that atan is me. much less idealised self insert)

like every other elf in the host, fed elf is still under arms. she has a unit, she’s part of the orc patrol rotas, when caranthir needs to do a battle she pulls her broadsword out from under her desk and reports for the muster. east beleriand is just a pretty violent place in general, and her most impassioned arguments frequently shade into all-out duels. east beleriand, where even especially the philosophers will knife you

but just like fëanor promised on tirion upon túna so long ago, she’s built a place where she can be the best version of herself, and she couldn’t be happier (marketplace douche notwithstanding)

like so much of the host, she has big plans for when they topple angband and reclaim the silmarils. it’s just, well

i am not entirely sure what fed elf’s fate is after the fall of thargelion. most likely she died at some point, because so do most of her peers and also because she has an aversion to cutting her losses that’s definitely gonna backfire sooner or later

it’s either that, or she abandons everything she ever worked out to flee over the blue mountains, or she sticks with the host long enough to see all their ideals and dreams burn to ash. out of all of them death is probably her kindest fate

if she does die - she’s definitely a kinslayer at least one time over, she is staying in the halls for a While. the local maiar completely stonewall her every time she tries to argue her way out, she has plenty of time to sit around and think

because yeah, the host’s century-long self-immolation has given her a lot to think about. she was wrong, it turns out, in several important ways, and from the outside she can see how much the ethical system she put her heart and soul into was bent towards destruction

if she ever gets out, it’ll be after a lot of self-reflection, a massive dose of humility, and her accepting her own small-but-not-insignificant role in the nightmare they created

the fëanorians as get let out of the halls of mandos are without fail less violent, more self-aware, and just generally more conscious of their actions than they were when they went in. fed elf is no exception to this

she’s also no exception to the rule that their time in elf afterlife therapy generally fails to lower their volume at all. soon after her rebirth, after some time spent rethinking her personal moral code, fed elf puts out a thesis as to why elwing’s refusal to give up the silmaril was perfectly justifiable under fëanorian ethical mores

this pisses off a measurable proportion of aman’s sapient population. soon the furious letters of rebuke are pouring in nightly

exactly. as. planned

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Hey guys, I was having thoughts on the meta-side of the Dream SMP. Okay, so we know that Technoblade has done much of the scripting for this present arc, Tommy, Dream and Quackity have also done some in collaboration, presumably doing each of their own characters and motivations, and Tubbo and Fundy have also been involved too. Uh, this will be rambly as it’s a lot of unsorted observations.

Obviously these are my thoughts, and ideas purely based on my observations as a viewer but you can definitely tell that they’re all very aware of the fanbase and are likely very influenced by them. I could see this even in the Pogtopia arc where Tommy started reusing phrases before when debating ethics with Wilbur, eg ‘let’s lose as winners, not win as losers.’ or something along those lines and how Techno made a callback to his only universal language is violence speech in his wither monologue. 

But wow, the scripting is definitely becoming a lot more obvious in this new season of the SMP. Not a bad thing at all, by the way, it’s just a difference. Clearly they’ve gotten more detailed plans and are more ambitious with what they convey in minecraft, with more players taking inspiration from Wilbur after how well he executed it. It’s also the difference in how the various people write, I’m sure. 

Tommy and Tubbo have streamed the SMP for the longest and have very gradually evolved into the roleplaying and their respective approaches to it are very interesting. Tubbo’s streams are typically chill and usually involve him working on some sort of project - he’s very chaotic when with other people but is usually very reactionary when it comes to the roleplaying - doing most of his best stuff when bouncing off Tommy, or occasionally Quackity. On his own he doesn’t like to lead bits but is among the best at making other people’s bits work. Same with the RP! His character’s in a weird spot right now as the other writer’s seem to be writing him in quite an unflattering way and he doesn’t do solo, emotional performances all that much meaning he’s less sympathetic right now then he really should be. Like, Tommy garnered loads of sympathy during his exile as he gave a very expressive performance where Tubbo’s character also presumably feels very isolated and alone and he’s being manipulated by the people around him but he gives a lot less. This has made it easier for the audience to start siding more with Technoblade, the literal mass-murderer, over the traumatised kid who was manipulated into exiling his best friend and continues to face terrible choices with no good options.

 While I can of course make less meta theories on why Tubbo should be appreciated more and what it says he’s got no real support and is compartmentalising his problems, in the end it’s how his streams work. Tubbo does plot related streams, and he does streams where he simply vibes - and even in the serious streams, he can joke around and cheerfully lampshade the goofiness by doing things like joking about wanting a good review from Techno while kidnapping him - that stuff is priceless and does not fit into the melodramtic scripts but it adds so much to the SMP and why it is so much fun to watch. Tubbo’s really good at making content better! He’s not afraid to look ridiculous, he will also unapologetically avoid engaging in too much melodrama himself when he doesn’t feel like it. I consider his character highly underrated in the plot right now.

Tommy knows what he’s doing. Even before the roleplaying really took off, Tommy liked to play a character and lead bits and the SMP shifting in a more scripted direction suited him exceptionally well. Tommy focuses heavily on streams with lots of content, only rarely doing more chill stuff - especially more recently. He has always approached streams with a plan - but usually their extremely loose and he has said that he’d sometimes just come up with an idea 10 minutes before the stream and improvise from there. Tommy’s good at improvising and seems to work best with a very loose plan. Where I think Techno likely came up with the plan for Tommy to get exiled from L’Manburg and then join forces with him, Tommy likely filled in how to play his character and - wow.

Tommy’s writing seems to be incredibly simple - each exile stream had no major plot points or anything and the plans that are there don’t even make logical sense (let’s throw a party in one day and let’s invite everyone but have Dream not send out the invitations so no one shows up - and I’m going to do this even with Philza and Fundy literally in the call.) but Tommy pulled every one of them off very well and proved to be compelling enough that no one cared at all whether the plot made sense nor did Tommy make much effort to justify that sort of thing - ‘cause he knows how the SMP works and how much the audience will go along with it. And instead, Tommy focused entirely on his characterisation and spent all his time exploring it. That’s how Tommy works - very simple plans, then improv in character into an engaging bit. He’s managed to pull off the most ridiculous things like that, and has confidence that the other streamers will support it - that’s how he’s prepared to try insane things like pretending to be Clarencio the llama. And, like Tubbo, he’s always willing to throw for content. 

Then there’s Technoblade. He’s streamed the SMP a lot less - though he’s done so much more recently - but he’s spent a lot more time playing on the SMP, doing tons of grinding. He here for the RP but is also committed to playing the game itself very optimally. He seems to have a much larger view, taking in the bigger picture, of the story where Tommy has a very personal view. His approach to content is all about the fanservice. 

He’s always trying to create big epic, moments, that both look and sound awesome. Like the butcher’s army plotline which let him both seem like an underdog, a victim against a mean group, and also an incredible badass figure who outplayed them all and came out as victorious. The butcher’s army were really given an antagonists role there, and were really made to seem unlikeable. Then he met up with fan-favourite Tommy and suggested a team-up with him. (This is also leading to the ultimate fanservice that is the Sleepybois team-up.) Techno’s got a very, dry self-aware sens of humour too and he’ll often make simple meta observations about the SMP - like noting that the pacing’s fast or teasing in the chat in the middle of wars. He’s also made himself into a bit of a meme what with logging just to say his name and leave. 

I don’t know how much it’s just Techno of course, but the plot really seems to be heading in a direction that suggesting that Technoblade was Right. L’Manburg’s seeming corrupt, and Tommy is being seen as Theseus. At the time Techno first made the Theseus speech, I felt like the comparison seemed unfair - but now it’s like the plot itself has bent over to make the comparison make sense, and Techno’s one of the writers of the script. Techno also of course, prepared a vault to show Tommy so he could say ‘welcome home Theseus dramatically - total fanservice as fans were indeed talking about how cool saying a line would be, and then he absolutely did. The way Techno calls his viewers chatting as the voices in his head is also fanservice. It’s not like actually true, as Techno ignores the chat if they tell him information his character doesn’t know and meanwhile all the streamers interact with their chat too - so all chats have always been a part of the story and calling them canon is absolutely meaningless. Not a bad thing though - it is nice and makes the fans happy and makes them feel included. I don’t know if this sounds critical by the way - it’s not meant as such at all - all the streamers love engaging with the fandom, and Techno’s approach to giving lots of fanservice by providing so many epic moments is great. I just wanted to highlight it. 

And those were some meta thoughts on the SMP right now and its writing. I don’t really think I had a point or argument. I just wanting to make some observations and my impressions. If you’re curious I am course a Tommy fan first. I love how he’s evolved with the SMP most of all and I appreciate his character-driven storytelling. His main weakness is probably getting too into bits and going too far and it’s so nice that the SMP is a place where even his weaker ideas are supported rather than shut down. I like how he’s able to improv so well and simply how he streams. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I love Tubbo best when he’s with Tommy as they bring the best performances out of each other. I find Techno interesting as a contrast to both of them, as he approaches so many things in such a different way. 

[tanadrin]

How /did/ things change after 2001? I was born in that year and everyone says it was different before, but I've never really gotten a sense of how.

It is difficult for me to emphasize just how different the world you see on the evening news is now, from what it was like before 2001, at least as I remember it. There’s a scene in Farscape, where after years of trying to get home, the astronaut protagonist John Crichton finally makes it back to Earth with his alien friends in tow, and when he’s reunited with his father, he’s shocked to discover his dad has gone from this optimistic, forward-looking, hopeful dreamer to a nervous, jingoistic conservative. His attitude is basically, “yes, there’s dangerous aliens out there who may or may not be trying to kill us--but the galaxy is a place full of wonders you’ve never dreamed of.” His father, in the meantime, has retreated from his hopes for a science-fiction future, and views his new alien friends with suspicion.

It’s not a subtle metaphor, but it’s true. The 90s--at least in the US, at least as I remember them--were a relentlessly optimistic period. Even if things were not yet at their ideal state, there was very much a sense they were heading there; politics was mostly down to what exact flavor of the neoliberal consensus you preferred, Clinton or Bush, and the international triumph of liberal democracy was either a fait accompli (cf. the erstwhile USSR), or just around the corner (cf. hopes for China’s liberalization in the wake of market reforms). Yes, in retrospect, this was kind of a dumb world view. If you actually lived in Russia in the 90s--to say nothing of the Balkans--it was a rough decade, and a lot of the relentless optimism of the period in the United States was down to the privileged position we viewed the world from.

The blunting of that optimism--the reminder that we were still embedded in history, and the final triumph of everything good and just was not foreordained--would not in itself have been a catastrophe. Terrorism was not a strange concept in the 90s, and even Al-Qaeda-style terrorism had its predecessors in attacks on American ships and embassies. 9/11 itself was confusing and chaotic and sad, but 9/11 wasn’t the catastrophe. The catastrophe came after, in how we responded.

I think something broke in America between 1945 and 1991. Something shifted, in a nasty way we didn't realize while we were occupied with communism and stagflation and the civil rights movement. I don't mean to say that America before 1945 was the Good Guys. But the American state and the American political class viewed the world with... humility? Like, sure, the can-do Yankee spirit before 1945 had its own special kind of arrogance (and greed, and hideous bigotry), but it still thought of the world in terms of obligations we owed other countries. By the time the Cold War ended, and the US was the sole remaining superpower, that wasn't how we viewed the world. It was still sort of how we told each other, and our children, what the world was like. We certainly talked a big game about democracy and human rights. But as soon as that principled stance was tested, we folded like a cheap suit. What we should have done after 9/11 was what we had done after every terrorist incident in or against the United States before then: treated it like the major crime it was, sent a civilian agency like the FBI in to investigate, and pursue the perpetrators diplomatically. What we did instead was treat it like the opening salvo of a war--in fact, invented a war to embed it within, to give ourselves narrative justification for that stance--and crank every element of paranoid jingoism instantly up to 11. It has never abated since.

Some of this is the little things. The TSA and the Department of Homeland Security--a name I thought was creepy Orwellian shit right from the get-go. The terror alert levels. (God! remember those?) The fact that airport security--despite being just as ineffective today as it was on September 12--is still routinely humiliating and invasive and just a total waste of everybody’s time. Some of it is the big things. The way security, and the need for security, trumps all other demands including the state’s obligation to protect civil rights. And the fact that this just isn’t even up for debate anymore. 9/11, as Chomsky presciently observed, was a boon for authoritarians everywhere. Suddenly, “counterterrorism” was the magic word that let you get away with anything, like “anti-communism” twenty years prior. At the most extreme end, this led to things like anti-atheism laws being promulgated in Saudi Arabia in the name of “counterterrorism,” but you don’t have to go that absurd to find ways in which the security state has fostered authoritarianism. In every aspect of our lives, this new, fearful outlook on the world justified a gradual ratcheting down of freedom, the gradual empowerment of petty tyrants everywhere, and the weak protests, fading into silence, of people who still believed in liberty as an important organizing principle for modern society. It wasn’t even that you’d get called a terrorist-sympathizer or anything that blatant. It just ceased to be regarded as important. It wasn’t that you were wrong, or misguided, or evil. You were just a non-serious person, someone whose opinion was clearly irrelevant, whose head was permanently in the clouds, if you thought that stuff still mattered. And that never went away.

And I think a big part of what changed between 1945 and 1991 was that the US started to believe its own jingoism. When did this start? Vietnam? Earlier? Korea? I don’t know. It’s hard to pinpoint, given that my understanding of the cultural zeitgeist of the decades before I was born mostly came from my dad’s old Doonesbury collections. I don’t know how to describe what we became--what we, hideously, revealed ourselves to be--except as a kind of machismo. A kind of ruthless, General Ripper-esque us-versus-them psychosis that gripped us where the Soviets were concerned, and never let up. And we still believe it. It still infects every atom of our political discourse. We don’t question the necessity of drone strikes, only who to drone strike and how much. We don’t really question the massive powers we’ve afforded the executive branch to wage war and conduct espionage--including kidnappings and torture--and we’ve kind of forgotten that we still have a prison camp in Cuba full of people who have never been convincted of any crime. In a way, we lost faith in law entirely: by God, we couldn’t try terrorists in American courts! (Why not? What’s wrong with American courts? Don’t we have faith in our own laws, at least?) No, justice wasn’t a matter for the law to decide anymore. Justice was a matter for the military only: justice came in the form of strength of arms. Ergo, shooting Bin Laden in the head and calling that justice; ergo, Jack Bauer; ergo, blowing up Yemeni weddings. Keep America Safe. I can’t begin to tell you how alienating and horrifying so much of the last 20 years has been, if the most consequential news stories of your childhood were the OJ Simpson murders and a discussion of the President’s cum stain.

In my opinion, the seminal text of the post-9/11 world was released in the year 2000. In the original Deus Ex video game, the year is 2150, and the world is a dark, depressing place. You, the game’s hero, work (initally) for a UN counterterrorism agency while a plague ravages the world. You hunt terrorists whose existence has provided the justification for an authoritarian crackdown on dissidents everywhere. You visit a Hong Kong firmly under the control of the CCP, you fight genetically engineered mutants created by huge businesses run amok, FEMA (no DHS then) controls the federal government, and, it turns out later in the game, the bombing of the Statue of Liberty that precipitated the creation of your organization was a false-flag attack used to justify its existence in the first place. Drones patrol the streets of NYC, and the whole thing is steeped in late-90s militia movement-style conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and the New World Order, that look weirdly out of place now that these things are more clearly aligned in the popular consciousness with right wing extremism, when back then they were just seen as kooky weirdos in Montana--but every year since then, we’ve been inching closer and closer to that world, and you know what? It wigs me out a little.

In 2000, Deus Ex was an absurdity, a fever dream of cyberpunk and early-internet conspiracism. It’s a shame that tonally speaking it’s been dead on for the two decades after. But honestly, I think the biggest thing that’s changed about the world since 2001 is our cultural capacity for optimism. I don’t mean in a sentimental way--although if you compare other texts heavily influenced by the post-2001 political milieu, you definitely see a sharp contrast with the optimism of cultural artifacts from earlier eras; science fiction was hit especially hard in this area (cf. RDM’s version of Battlestar Galactica). But I also mean this in a political/ideological sense. We cease to imagine that the world can be made better. We cease to imagine the possibilities that are afforded to us if we are willing to strive for our ideal society, even if we, personally, may never reach it. We make deals with the devil, we let the CIA violate the constitution and federal law six ways from Sunday, we don’t question the prevailing political-economic consensus even if it’s setting the planet on fire and pitching us headlong toward social disaster, because we forgot what it was to feel like those sunlit uplands we’ve been hoping for were just around the corner.

In the same way that my Catholic faith was eventually done in because the ethical principles I was taught were at odds with the manifest monstrosity of the organization that taught them to me and the metaphysics it espoused, my patriotism and my faith in America was done in because when I was a schoolkid, I really did believe that democracy and human rights and equality under the law were important. Some people probably had their illusions--if they ever had any--about the US government stripped away long ago, but I was a white kid from a reasonably prosperous part of town, so it took until the 2000s and my growing political awareness to realize just how flimsy these principles were when they were put to any kind of test. It made me angry; it still makes me angry. I was raised to believe there are some principles that are important enough that you don’t compromise them ever, no matter how scared or worried you are. Just as I was old enough to understand what was going on on the evening news, the United States betrayed everything I had been taught the United States stood for. And as a nation, we never turned back; we never apologized; we never repented. America, as an abstract entity, never was what I thought it was as a kid. But I think it could still become that, if it tried. Alas, very few people seem to believe such a thing is possible anymore. Most days, I’m not sure I do, either.

[tsaomengde]

So, it's been a month, and I have finished Cyberpunk 2077. Time was I would have chewed the game up and spat it back out in less than a week, but now I have children and a house to run. I'm not here to talk about the conditions of its release, the human cost, the et cetera. I'm just here to give my thoughts on the game.  If you want a spoiler-free review, here it is: thanks to my mother-in-law for buying it for me for Christmas. If I'd paid money for it I might have been disappointed. As it was, I had a perfectly fine time. Spoilers follow. (Also spoilers for Witcher 3, which is more than five years old now.)

Let's get this out of the way: should the game have been more progressive? Well, yes, but here's another question: what the fuck is cyberpunk even supposed to be? After all, initially, punk itself was created to sell leather jackets and records, and its defining trait was being subversive. It wasn't about being progressive, just offensive, about bucking whatever Standards there were. It's been refined, and redirected, but there's a reason 'Nazi punk' is a thing.

I personally wasn't expecting this game to be a bastion of progressive thought just because it has the word 'punk' in it. They should have done better by people who wanted to play trans or nonbinary characters. They should have done better with a lot of things. But they should have done those things because that's just what we should expect as people who engage critically with media, not because the game has the word 'punk' in the label. Was I sitting there shaking my head at the fact that V can work with the police? No. You're a mercenary, you go where the money is. The game wasn't advertised as an Antifa 2077 simulator, it was advertised as an RPG where you play the role of a merc who will do pretty much anything for that cash.

Here's the other question: is it cyberpunk? I say no. Cyberpunk as a genre is about human beings trapped in exploitative systems which commodify everything, even our bodies, and the lengths we have to go to in those systems to remain human - or not. The game has a lot of stuff in it showing this commodification and exploitation of everything, including our humanity, but it doesn't really have much to say about it. There are no significant choices in the story about how many pieces of yourself you're willing to cut away for power. Fill up every slot with cyberware or play as natural as possible, makes no difference at all to the story or the endings you get.

So it’s not really cyberpunk. That’s fine, a game can not be a thing and still be good. What’s the story, then? The story is about V (who is supposedly you, but they definitely are a distinct entity unto themselves, this is not a blank-slate Bioware situation) and Johnny Silverhand, and who is going to end up occupying the brain they’re forced to share for a while because of an experimental personality-upload chip that gets lodged in there too good to remove. Johnny Silverhand is an asshole version of Keanu Reeves, and I happened to really like his performance. A lot of people didn’t. That’s down to YMMV. Having finished the story and gone online to read about the endings I didn’t get, I feel that it’s… fine. They give you a decent number of ways to address the issue. I was more invested in the side stories with people like Judy and Panam than I was in the Big Plot, though I definitely warmed a lot to Johnny and Rogue near the end.

I never got the Big Feels, though. Like, Witcher 3? I agonized over the amazing chemistry Geralt had with both Yen and Triss, and had serious debates with myself over who to romance, because I may be a slut, but I’m ethical, dammit. I got big sad when Geralt found Ciri, thought she was dead, and just collapsed in on himself. I got even bigger sad when Vesemir died, and felt very vindicated when I murdered the dude that killed him. All of this from a game whose predecessors I didn’t even play! Cyberpunk never hit the same highs for me.  The most invested I ever was in a mission chain, by the way, was the one where the plot goes full Ghost in the Shell with memory editing and "what is a personality really" and truly vast conspiracies, and then the chain ends and just kind of peters out and you're back to all the other stuff that isn't Ghost in the Shell.  So that was... not great.

What about the *game* part though? Is it awesome? Does it suck?  I mean, the game is also fine. The gunplay feels alright, alright enough that I definitely regretted my initial desire to be a katana ninja person and went pretty hard into guns by the end. I give it credit for the systems being robust enough to support that kind of mid-game playstyle pivot.  The melee is deeper than it’s been in other games, but uh… look, I’m pretty sure Jedi Knight: Dark Forces 2 had better-feeling melee combat, and that game came out over 23 years ago. Might have something to do with the fact that you had an option to switch to a GODDAMN THIRD-PERSON CAMERA. After seeing the story and playing the game and doing the stuff I am prepared to Pronounce on this, and my Pronouncement is that the first-person camera definitely is more immersive, particularly given the story they wanted to tell, and perhaps you should stick with it during cutscenes if that’s your jam, but Goddamn, give us the third-person mode for melee. Anyway, the game, yeah. The stealth is cookie-cutter basic. The hacking minigame is dumb, and the hacking itself is useful, but underwhelming.

What about the vehicles? What about them indeed? I got a motorcycle from one of the first side quests after the world opens up and never used anything else. Everything drives like shit, but at least the motorcycles let me weave through traffic and get those rare glimpses of the toon I spent an hour carefully creating. Of course, most of the time, she would look ridiculous, since you have to continually equip whatever latest thing gives you the most armor, and there’s no transmog, so it’s only at the very end of the game where you *maybe* stop looking like an extra who wandered off of the set of a quirky indie film about near-future hip-hop dancers.

What about the city? Yes, it’s an enormous open world and it’s crazy detailed and there’s so much to do and so many icons to visit, but look, they didn’t need to go this hard. They could have told this story without a GTA-style open world. They could have told this story with Deus Ex-sized hub areas. Perhaps then the game wouldn’t have taken eight Goddamn years to make and destroyed so many poor Polish game developers’ lives.

I’m a thousand words in and I feel like I could write several thousand more, but let’s wrap it up. Here it is: did the 64.6 hours I put into the game entertain me? Yes, but I was ready to be done well before the point of no return, and still I kept hitting up all the side character stuff because I was invested in them. Am I going to play it again? Not right away, no. I’ll wait and see what DLC they drop, what bugs they fix. I have other games to play, and other things to do. And most tellingly, for this past month, I have never been doing real-life adult stuff and just been thinking the entire time, “I could be playing Cyberpunk right now.” I would play it when I sat down and felt I had sufficient time for something more involving than a run in Hades or Slay the Spire. It did not get hooks in me the way the Greats have done.

Cyberpunk: not a whimper, but not a bang either.

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

Knight Rider 2000

WARNING

This post contains spoilers for Knight Rider 2000, the 1991 film which attempts to expand on the canonical universe of Knight Rider (1982-1986).  Key word, attempts.  I know that this film came out almost 30 years ago at this point, but I also know that this fandom grows a little bit every day, and there will ALWAYS be people who haven’t seen every episode (myself included), let alone every movie!  I happened to catch it on Charge! for Hoff's birthday (yes I'm hella late posting this LOL) with my good friend @trust-doesnt-oxidize​, and boy let me tell you, it was… Something.

From here on out, I’m not holding back from sharing my impression of the film based on specific details from it, so if you want a spoiler-free viewing, go watch it and come back!!  Or… don’t, it’s kind of awful.  I can only think of one thing in canon that it may spoil, and even that appears in early Season 2 and is fairly minor, so if you are curious about it, I HIGHLY recommend watching it BEFORE reading this.  The scenes with the most impact are touching because they come as a surprise, so even if you know the general plot of the film, I would recommend watching it first.

Also this is really rambley because I have a lot of emotions about this series and, by extension, this movie.  I really don’t blame you if you click away here, but if you DO read it all the way through, I would love to hear anything you would like to add, agree or disagree!

OKAY!  Knight Rider 2000 is a movie that exists!  And I hate it!

The film sets up an interesting argument between two groups of people whose names I don’t remember because they were boring (except for Devon, I know his name at this point).  In this interpretation of the “future,” gun control has been implemented to,,, some extent, I can’t entirely tell if there have been some policies implemented across the country or if it is all localized in this one city that even the Wikipedia page for this movie doesn’t bother to mention.  And no, this city is NOT in California for once!  Usually I would be happy to see a change of setting, but considering that everything in this film felt so foreign to the Knight Rider that we know, it would have been nice to at least have a familiar setting.  Anyway, gun control stuff.  The debate between whether these gun control policies are ethical or not is very interesting.  Innocent people are dying because the wrong people have guns and the police are rendered useless when they themselves don’t have access to weapons.  This argument happens to support my perspective on the issue, so I appreciated how it took a look at that side WITHOUT it sounding like we are crazy murderer people, but I digress.  It makes sense that the ban happened in the first place, because much like how the main conflict in Pixar’s latest film Incredibles 2 revolves around society’s over-reliance on superheroes, I could see Knight Rider’s society becoming dependent on technology to save them.  It can be easy to seem like the most advanced tech in that society is present only in KITT and KIFT, and to SOME extent that is true.  However, Shawn does say that it is relatively common in this society for people to have memory chips in their brain.  That counts for something.  And the police DO have a defense mechanism according to the Wikipedia page for this movie, it’s just nonlethal.

So as you can see, I am very interested in the conflict this world sets up.  I sure hope they expand on these conflicting ideologies throughout the film, giving us a clearer idea of why the bans were set in place AND giving us insight into what exactly has caused some revolt against it.  That subject is seemingly timeless, and with how decently the introduction tackled it, I have some confidence that this film could pull it off in a tasteful way.  Wouldn’t that be amazing?   It’s some of the most serious subject matter Knight Rider has ever tackled.  It’s so interesting!

Yeah they pretty much abandon that plot in place of a very, very bad copy of the original show’s “Hearts of Stone” (season 1, episode 14).  Illegal guns exist and are bad, but we don’t really know why.  I may know a little better if I had been listening closer, but I was trying to not get so bored that I missed Kitt’s parts!

At some point during this sequence, we are introduced to Shawn, a happy police officer who is happy to have a family on a happy birthday.  And then she gets shot!  Due to head force trauma rendering her unconscious, she’s sent to the hospital.  She goes in for a risky operation that miraculously saves her life against all odds.

Then, Michael wakes up with Garthe Knight’s face and hears a great story about how one man CAN make a difference!… I mean what?  

Jokes aside, it’s kind of amazing how much this very Michael-esque sequence comes across very differently.  It’s almost the perfect example of why I don’t like this movie.  The surgery is weirdly realistic for a Knight Rider entity.  There’s blood and screens and surgeons and a sterile white room for operations.  Michael woke up in a Medieval castle with one doctor and two random people he’d never met at his side.  Shawn’s situation clearly makes more sense, but is it half as fun and whimsical?  No, no it’s not.  This whole film comes across as depressing to me, and it’s only worsened by what’s to come.  Apparently, she had KITT’s CPU/Microprocessor/something sciencey implanted into her brain.  That’s especially strange since all that I saw was a yellow liquid being injected directly into her skull!  That’s a lovely image, and definitely gave me the idea that there was a full computer chip going in there???  (It may have actually been explained more clearly, and I just looked away because eek weirdly bloody operation scene)  This caused her personality to do a full 180.  So, Shawn is going to be fun, snarky, and full of personality like KITT is because they share memories now!  Right?  Right???

I think they tried to do that, but it came across flat.  So flat.  She speaks in a purposefully monotone, robotic voice and delivers downright mean comments that leave Michael and KITT scratching their heads.  She seems to lack basic empathy until her own memories start flooding back, and at that point, the emotions she show seem so foreign to the character we see that it’s not remotely believable.  You want me to believe that this robotic woman with -10 personality points started nearly crying after one string of memories, albeit a very traumatic one, entered her mind?  This would have been believable if she was entirely changed afterwards, coming across as far more human, but that was only the case sometimes.  It also would have been believable if the film had the same energy that the original Knight Rider show does, where suspending one’s disbelief is necessary to make it past the opening credits.  However, this movie tries to be so grounded that the kind of dramatic beats that would work in the original seem forced here.

Shawn is not the only character who I take issue with, though.  Let’s start with the most potentially problematic change from the usual canon in the entire film: KITT’s personality.  I have very mixed feelings on how he is portrayed.  If you’ve seen as much as a spattering of quotes from this movie, you probably could sense that KITT was… off.  When KITT first comes on screen, he slams Michael with a wave of insults, and none of them come off as their normal joking around.  However, I don’t necessarily have a problem with that because he has the proper motivation to be very, very upset.  He is sitting on a desk as a heap of loosely connected parts that have just enough power to make the signature red scanner whir and make an oddly terrifying red light eyeball thing (Hal???) move.  The first thing he hears is Devon nonchalantly saying something along the lines of, “I’m afraid he was recycled” to explain why KITT has been deactivated for OVER A DECADE and is not currently in anything that moves (my Charge! stream thing lagged at this point but @trust-doesnt-oxidize​ has since told me that Devon DID appear upset about KITT's being sold, but KITT likely wouldn't have heard that and what Devon said seemed to be moreso directed at HOW the chip was sold and not the fact that it was sold in the first place).  KITT is justifiably mad, and if they had kept KITT’s actions in character while his emotions said otherwise, I would have no problem with it at all.

However, once KITT’s CPU is somehow implanted into Michael’s Chevrolet, KITT does not act in character.  Shawn drives, not Michael, so it stands to reason that he would not necessarily listen to her.  She stole his CPU, his life for over a decade.  KITT does tend to listen to human companions, regardless of whether he is programmed to or not, but I can see where this would be an exception.  However, Michael soon intercedes and essentially tells him to cut it out.  Based on everything that the original Knight Rider told us, KITT no longer has a choice of whether to listen or not.  Michael is ultimately the one who calls the shots because of KITT’s very programming.  And yet, in this scene, KITT doesn’t listen to Michael and apparently gets so angry that he downright stops functioning.  Because that happens all the time in the original series!

And if you’re wondering where I got the conclusion that KITT frustrated his circuits to the point where they could no longer work, he said that.  KITT.  Admitted to having feelings.  In fact, he did not just admit to being angry in the moment.  He told Michael that, while it may seem like he is an emotionless robot, he does have a “feelings chip.”  A FEELINGS CHIP-

I am for recognizing KITT’s obvious emotions as much as the next guy.  I think they are often overlooked when discussing his character.  While I don’t think that real artificial intelligence will ever reach the level of human consciousness, the entire energy of Knight Rider comes from playing with this concept by portraying an AI character who clearly emotes interacting with a human who doesn’t seem to know that.  But the thing that makes this show feel so sincere is that neither character plays too heavily into that trope.  While not always knowing how much KITT feels and by extension hurting those feelings alarmingly often, Michael recognizes it enough to work in concert with KITT, apologize for his more major flubs, and consider KITT a friend.  And KITT subverts the trope by never recognizing that he has feelings to begin with.  He will say that he cannot feel sadness but, in the next breath, say that something upset him.  He will say he cannot hold a grudge only to immediately rattle off a string of insults directed at the person he clearly has a grudge on.  The show is magic in how these two characters display a subtle chemistry that always has room to grow because both characters are slowly coming to see each other for who they truly are and supporting one another along the way.  From what I can tell, the original show never fully concludes that arc, and it may even start regressing after Season 1.  However, we can feasibly see how Michael could slowly come to understand that KITT really does feel things just as much as he does.  And we can imagine the relief KITT would feel knowing that Michael was never bothered by that possibility.

So, you can see where I have a big problem with KITT spelling it out so plainly.  The audience gets full confirmation about what has been displayed to us through nuanced hints throughout the series, which sounds a lot more satisfying than it really ends up being in this film.  But worse than an underwhelming conclusion to a thrilling story, Michael knows it plain as day.  There is very little buildup to KITT admitting this.  He barely even sounds moved.  Instead, in this movie, the “feelings chip” is a fact of life that does not need to be covered up in the slightest.  Michael himself doesn’t really… react.  He just kind of nods along, as if he’s saying, “Huh, makes sense, alright.”  After everything these two have been through, if there really was such a simple explanation for why KITT is the way he is… why arguments went south, why the mere mention of a Chevrolet was enough to get a seemingly jealous response, why inconsequential things like music taste and gambling were subjects of debate, why KITT had always acted so exaggeratedly dismissive when topics of emotional significance struck a chord, why every little sarcastic banter had a hint of happiness until it didn’t… don’t you think Michael would do something?  Whether that something would be a gentle, “I always knew that, pal”; a shocked, “Why didn’tchya tell me sooner?!”; or even a sarcastic, disbelieving, “Yeah, right” is up to interpretation.  But there would be something.

And yet, even that concept is flawed.  We learn a lot from KARR’s inclusion in the original series, and what I take away from it boils down to a simple sentiment.  FLAG never meant for their AIs to be human.  I do realize that directly contradicts what Devon says within this film, but I see that as another way for the film to steer the plot in this direction, not as a tie in to the original.  When Wilton says that one man CAN make a difference, he means that.  He isn’t considering that KITT is just as much a person as Michael.  He’s not seeing that, at the end of the day, teamwork is what makes the show work, even if Michael is the glue that holds it together.  So, I think that to say that there is a “feelings chip” is to disregard the entire point of the original, that in this world life finds a way of inserting itself and that KITT’s (and KARR’s for that matter) humanity is an anomaly, not the rule.  At the end of the day, KITT’s humanity can’t be explained away with science.  And really, I don’t think it should be explained away at all.  The show has had an amazing trend of showing us how KITT feels, in all its unorthodox glory, alongside private moments that had me sobbing like a baby.  The movie should just be like a longer, more complex episode of Knight Rider… Although I cannot pinpoint exactly how it should be done in the context of this film, I know there are ways that Michael could have been shown that KITT feels rather than being told.

One last complaint, albeit a more minor one, is the idea that he has to listen to what Shawn says over Michael's authority.  I have spent a decent amount of time thinking about this one point, which has caused a lot of the delay in posting this.  There's multiple reasons why this flies right in the face of what is canon in the original series.  Perhaps the most obvious of these problems is the fact that, in the original pilot episode, it's made very clear that KITT can't assume control of the Knight 2000 without Michael's express permission unless Michael is unconcious.  Devon makes it quite clear in this episode that KITT is programmed specifically to listen to Michael, not just anyone who happens to be piloting the vehicle at the time.  In case there was any doubt about this, KITT ejects two people who are attempting to steal him later in the episode (well, ok, later in the two-parter, I don't know if it was the same episode or not).  The show isn't SUPER strict about this in future episodes, but it does at least acknowledge Michael's authority in a few pivotal moments throughout Season 1 (I can't comment on episodes that I haven't seen yet, but I suspect that this pattern continues).  Of all the rules set up throughout the series, it actually seems to be the most loyal to this one.  One moment that stands out to me is in Trust Doesn't Rust when KITT attempts to stop Michael from causing a head-on collision with KARR, but Michael then overrides him and the climax unfolds.  If one of the most iconic moments in the series is caused by this one bit of programming, to throw it out in the film is to disrespect the basis of the original series.

Speaking of KARR, he provides yet another reason niglecting this detail is such a big problem.  From what we can tell, KARR isn't programmed to one specific driver (at least, not anymore[?]), and so he can override anyone in the pilot's seat.  This is something they seem to highlight in TDR as well, although not so plainly as the previous point.  KARR ends up ditching Tony to gain speed and get an upper hand in the chase with Michael and KITT (although a scene they deleted would have made this a mUCH MORE SENSIBLE ACTION THAT R E A L L Y ISN'T A BETRAYAL but y'know what this post isn't about that) whereas KITT has to listen to Michael even to his own detriment.  If this one feature is indeed one of the major things that separates KITT from KARR, the idea that Shawn can override all of that cheapens the original conflict between KITT and KARR.

...Well okay, let's be real, KARR was never that compelling as an antagonist to begin with because he's a LOYAL SWEETIEPIE-- I'll stop.

And finally, we have the biggest, most bizarre reason that this is a problem:

If Shawn can override Michael's authority, that means KITT can override Michael's authority.

Why?  This would be the first time (outside of episodes where some sort of reprogramming or mind control was involved) in the series that KITT had not only listened to another human instead of Michael, but also listened to that person OVER Michael.  The only difference I can see between Shawn and quite literally anyone else in the show's history is that Shawn has KITT's chip implant thing.  If that's the reason her opinion has more credence than Michael's, then wouldn't that mean KITT's own opinion has that authority?  If that is the case, literally every example I've gone through in the last couple of paragraphs is not just challenged but rather negated entirely.

The most frustrating thing about this scene is that it simply didn't have to happen.  Michael could have gone along with KITT's plan, showing him (and us) that he does trust his former partner even after all these years.  Shawn could have convinced Michael to go along with it using her... feelings chip.  Blegh.  Or we could have had a stubborn Michael force this scene to be delayed, likely improving the pacing overall.  Maybe we could have even seen a frustrated and emotionally exhausted Shawn wait until Michael is not in the car and then plead KITT to give her the truth, no matter what Michael says.  We have seen KITT control his actions without Michael's input plenty of times, and we could have seen some more of his humanity show through if he could relate to Shawn's struggles... after all, he too has missing memories because she has his chip.  They're both going through a bit of an identity crisis.  I'm sure that he could find some workaround in his programming to help her if Michael wasn't there insisting that he does not take this course of action.

But even after all of that fussing over what has been done wrong with KITT, I can’t deny that he is the heart and soul of this film.  There was only one scene in this film that brought me near tears.  I got more of an emotional impact from this one clip than I have from a lot of movies that are undeniably much better.  Michael’s old-fashioned Chevrolet does not hold up in the year 2000, and it is clear that the usual car chase sequence won’t work as police vehicles quickly creep up on them.  I was personally very curious what they would do here.  I figured that KITT would find some way to outsmart the drivers of the police cars, maybe by ending up on an elevated mountain road that trips up the other drivers and causes them to waste time turning around and hopping on that same path.  Or, maybe, KITT would access a road that’s too narrow for the relatively bulky police cars.  However, it quickly becomes clear that this city is made up of wide roads on the ground.  As KITT veers off the road and tells Michael to trust him, the I found myself having to trust him.  This isn’t the way Knight Rider chases usually go, and with all these odds stacked against him, the only thing we can do is hold our breath.  The way this scene is staged to send us into this just as blind as Michael is, frankly, genius.  Water slowly creeps into the frame as a feeling of dread builds at the thought of what KITT might do.

Surely, we are led to think, he will knock into some boxes and turn right back around.  Right?  We’re reminded of the fact that this is not the Knight 2000, that there is no chance of this car floating.  That if KITT does what he really seems to be doing, there’s no chance… but he wouldn’t, would he?  This is the only action sequence in the film that had me at the edge of my seat, staring wide eyed at the screen.  And then, the turn that you want so badly to come doesn’t, and you have to wonder what’s about to happen.  What was KITT thinking?  Won’t Michael and Shawn drown?  And, most prominently in my mind, won’t KITT drown?

For a moment, this scene plays us into believing that, because magic FLAG science that is pretty par for the course, everything is fine.  KITT explains that they have an airtight cab and over 20 minutes of oxygen.  Everyone lets out a collective breath of relief.  We see it in Michael and Shawn, and I know I felt myself relax.

And then there’s a flicker in the screen, and that pit in the bottom of my stomach came right back.  Michael is confused, and KITT explains what we should have realized was inevitable.  This is KITT sacrificing himself.  He even goes as far as to let Shawn know that she can use any of his computer chips that she may need.  This comes off as strange at first, but it goes to show that KITT is, at his core, the same kind soul we always knew.  He acts angry because he feels betrayed, but given the choice, he will chose another person’s life over his own, always.  Even the microprocessor that he is most frustrated over, the thing that seems to drive a wedge between him and Shawn, is just how he is expressing his hurt.  Now, thinking it is the end, he offers it up freely, and Shawn doesn’t seem to know how to respond.  KITT is calm as he says his final goodbyes.  And this is the first place in the film that we get to hear the amazingly nuanced  voice acting that William Daniels is so great at.  KITT sounds collected and at peace with what is to come, but there are also subtle hints that he is at least a bit nervous, a bit sad.  “I know.  I guess this is goodbye.”  He doesn’t want to leave his friends, but he knows that he has to for them to be safe.  Even if the pacing of the film seems to actively try to undermine this moment, it stands out to me as an amazing scene, even if the reaction from Michael is underwhelming at best and the reaction from Shawn is… as much as can be expected from Shawn, but that’s not saying much.  As far as KITT knows in that moment, these are his last words: “Michael, take care of yourself.”  Down to the last moment, Michael is everything to him.

IjustwannamakeitclearquicklythatIthinktheirrelationshipisentirelyplatonicokthankyou

And I felt sad, big time sad.  The movie up until that point was unbelievably boring to me, and this wasn’t a turning point where the movie suddenly became great.  It was a moment so darn good that I almost don’t think the movie deserved for it to have as big of an impact as it did.  But that shows just how powerful this universe is, how wonderfully honest these characters are.  Even after being butchered practically beyond recognition, one scene in-character can still bring you to tears because you have connected with them so deeply throughout the TV series.

AND THEN DEVON DIED IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS :D

I don’t like Devon.

Devon was actually more tolerable in this movie than normal, and I can see where people who don’t hate him could be sad that he died  I just,,, he has hurt or talked down to KITT and KARR so many times that I actually could not sympathize.  What’s even more frustrating about that is that Devon’s death is the one that Michael got all sad over when KITT sacrificed his life for him and Devon got kidnapped randomly but okay go off movie you can’t ruin that scene for me.  I knew going in that Devon died, but I was expecting them to spend a lot more time setting it up and making it as dramatic as possible.  Nope, he just got a shot to the old air tanks I guess?  My view of it is nothing more than that it’s a thing that happened.

OH AND DEVON DID PULL ONE HEINOUS ACT.  He said that KIFT was better than KITT in every way other than that KITT has humanity.  SINCE WHEN HAS DEVON GIVEN ONE SINGULAR HOOT ABOUT THE AI’S BEING ALIVE???  TELL KARR THAT???  HECK, TELL DEACTIVATED KITT THAT YOU WERE JUST FINE SELLING OFF AT AUCTION THAT?!?!  Also also, KIFT DOES NOT C O M P A R E TO KITT.  We are coming back to KIFT in a moment, don’t you worry.  For now, I just.  Low blow, Devon, low blow.

Michael was fine too, he played a weirdly small part and that felt off but everything he said seemed pretty in character.  The most out of character parts were when he said nothing at all.  OH AND WHERE HE WAS REPLACING BONNIE but that’s besides the point, no Bonnie OR April… no Bonnie OR April… I’m fine…

…

It feels like this movie wants you to forget that Michael exists because Shawn is here she’s more interesting, right?  Right???

She’s really not.

So back to KIFT.  My favorite part of KIFT is that pronouncing KIFT in your head sounds funny.  It’s like “gift” but if the gift were actually an underwhelming villain of sorts that is overtaken in a garage, parked, by Michael either removing his microprocessor entirely or moving it to a Chevrolet.

I was surprised how not bad KIFT looked.  I had seen stills from the movie that looked really uninteresting compared to the regular designs, and while I still agree to some extent, it was a lot more epic than I would have thought.  Something about how the paint shines on it is captivating.  I was genuinely happy when KITT was moved to the snazzy red vehicle, although a big part of that could have been how disgusting mint green looks with red.  Seriously, including the red scanner on that bizarre seafoamy-bluey car (and yes, I do think it is a very pretty car by itself) was like when people say movies were “inspired” but in the opposite direction.  And the scanner looked weirdly small?  Was it just me?

Am I the only one who feels w e i r d just looking at this??

I think this is the most normal thing to be categorized as being in uncanny valley but there we go, I did it.  It’s not right.

Anyway, as neat as KIFT looks, it is no comparison to the classic Knight 2000 or even Season 3 KARR.  Red can be striking, but not when the classic scanner is also red.  No contrast!

KIFT is absurdly easy to forget, and I don’t think that the car’s design has anything to do with it.  KITT spends most of the movie piloting that car, and while it is not what we are used to, it doesn’t come across as super lame to me, either…or at least, not because of the design.  The biggest problem with KIFT is, I think, simply his voice.  His voice feels so out of place in the movie, and it’s so strange to me considering that Daniels’ voice is integrated just fine.  The recording sounds too crisp, too clean.  KITT’s voice always has a great deal of character, a very Earthy-sounding voice for an AI character.  I actually think that this incongruity is purposeful, and it’s a very clever concept.  We are supposed to recognize that KIFT isn’t human like KITT is.  KIFT sounds out of place in the real world among real people; he’s too neat around the edges.  It’s especially obvious when KITT and KIFT talk to each other.  This is also mirrored by how KITT occupies a well-loved Chevrolet that has little imperfections that make it feel real whereas KIFT is in this red… whatever it is that feels like it comes out of a sci-fi film.  This effect would have really worked if we had enough time with KIFT to understand his personality–or, more aptly, his lack of personality.  What makes this not work is the fact that we spend practically no time with KIFT.  We don’t get to hear what he feels he is programmed to do, we don’t get to hear him deliver the sort of lifeless lines that Shawn did that made her so unlikable, and we don’t even get to hear his voice more than 4-5 times.  Every time comes as a shock, taking us out of the moment of the film.  We could have gotten used to his crisp sound if he had spoken more, and we may have seen the actual plot significance of it.  Instead, it pulls you right out of the movie.

Oh yeah, and the only line(s?) that KIFT delivers to KITT are full-on taunting… that’s not very lifeless of you KIFT.

Alright, just one last thing to really hammer home a point from earlier and conclude this whole thing.  You know what I was saying about this movie lacking the whimsical nature of the TV show?  Well, the final chase puts the icing on this oddly sullen crab cake.

Yes, crab cake. 

Because the pinchy crab that is Shawn makes it quite painful to get this particular cake and icing doesn’t even belong on it anyway.

KITT is racing down the street in this bright red car that I just explained is thematically wrong for him to be driving tbh but whatever, he’s racing in it and comes up to a barricade of randomly stacked up cars.

Oh Yeah, we all know what is coming.

The music swells.  Michael looks at the upcoming barricade with furrowed eyebrows and quietly asks KITT what the heck they’re going to do now.

OH YEAH, we definitely know what is coming.

And at last, for the first time in the film…

KITT veers off to the right and they drive on water.  “It’s really sink or swim with you, isn’t it?” Michael asks, pretending that’s funny as if I am not still emotionally raw from that scene that happened an hour ago.

Apparently, KIFT had that one obscure feature from “Return to Cadiz,” the Season 2 episode where April forces KITT to follow KARR into the ocean on the hopes that waterproof wheels might work maybe, directly ignoring his many attempts to get out of it.  Yay.  I love references to That Episode.  That Episode which baited me with an opening that looked like KARR could have been discovered underwater only to show me that not only was there no KARR, but KITT was going to be bullied into repeating what his brother did when he died.  Wholesome.  Lovely.  Fantastic.  And how did KITT know for sure that would work?  KITT clearly still has some technical hiccups in his own CPU from Michael tampering with it, that was an awful lot of confidence to place in a maybe.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY…

THIS MOVIE DID NOT HAVE A TURBO BOOST

A TURBO BOOST

I cannot believe that a movie based around Knight Rider did not have a turbo boost (or for that matter, the THEMESONG???).  Like I am honestly still surprised by it.  Almost every episode of the original show had at least one turbo boost, and there is a reason.  The idea of a talking car jumping in midair, sometimes with Michael “WOO!”-ing like a girl, is so fantastically fun that nobody even tries to question how impossible it is.  I think we all know how impossible it is, and that doesn’t matter, it is yet another thing that embodies the heart of this show.

And… not even one.

…

So yeah, that just happened.  I think this is technically a small novel.  Wow.

  I know that I'm still missing a lot... I have a lot of thoughts about this movie, and if you for some reason want more please ask!  I would also love to hear your thoughts on this!  Do you agree with my analysis?  Do you disagree entirely?  Did you notice something that I failed to mention entirely?  Pleasepleaseplease send ideas, I would love to hear them!  Also know that, no matter how much I was disappointed by the movie itself, I am fully open to hearing your ideas about how to improve or expand upon it.  I truly believe that this film introduced some great concepts, and I would absolutely adore seeing them reworked in a way that's more true to the original.  Thank you for reading! :D

[brittie-frog]

I love that I thought my all male computer science class would be full of incel-y nerds and sometimes they still say slightly dubious things and majority are complete nerds that want to continue doing this in university but...

I'm currently writing my notes from the last three weeks but I've missed the first half of one of the powerpoints so I went through the chat to find what we were talking about and it went from...

- sir calling out a student for constantly mixing up your and you're after saying "your uncultured'

- to can I ethically/legally use a human brain as a computer CPU which lead to questions about whose (a consenting adult) so it was like organ donation but would it morally feel right

- to the dude that exposed the NSA and whether it was legally/morally right that he did- which everyone responded with absolutely. The USA attack and judge other countries that commit war crimes so why shouldn't they be judged for theirs with someone responding with "cos they're rich" (accurate)

- to should the government be allowed to spy on you and access your data with someone saying yes because they don't care and someone saying "should murdering people be legal because I don't care about it"

- then someone said that the government should be allowed to because it can catch people with ill intentions and you shouldn't be worried if you do nothing wrong with someone replying with an edward Snowden quote - "I don't care about freedom of speech because I've got nothing to say"

- and everyone trashing the police saying "the idea of police does more policing than police do themselves" and sir saying that the idea of police is inherently flawed as them you polices the police - no one so they believe they are above the law

- but finally saying that "capitalism is better than communism" and someone posting link to the 'socialism is when the government does stuff' video

And now I'm starting to love this class cause it the only one where I can see debates like this (but also they say all this and still belive that it's fine) cause History is very 'stay on topic' and may be a Conservative and Psych is small debates on topic that can only go on for 15 minutes in breakout rooms.

[mxmeiyun]

Doctor Who season overviews

My friend is embarking on the wonderful journey of watching of “Doctor Who” and asked me for a rundown of what episodes she absolutely has to watch, my favorites, and ones that can be skipped. I thought I’d share them here in case anyone else was interested. Also I’m curious what anyone else’s thoughts on some must-view episodes.

(Will be updating as my friend reaches each season.)

Series 1

Definitely watch 1 because it’s where everything starts and you start to get a vibe for how the show goes. A fantastic place to start, if you will.

2 is a fun one with a plethora of aliens. If you’ve seen gifs of the Doctor jamming to “Toxic” by Brittany Spears, this is where that’s from.

3 is the first “historical” episode of the revival. Ok episode overall. Has ghosts and a bit an unintentional easter egg for future episodes/series.

4-5 are a bit silly but also I think have some good characterization of the Doctor and why sometimes he needs a friend to keep him in check.

6 introduces you to a classic DW alien so you should watch it.

7 is good to watch because it sort of sets up some stuff for the finale but I also find the guest characters kinda annoying.

8 is good if you want to learn more about Rose and that becomes more important to later stories and the next season.

9-10 is an all around fan favorite (certainly one of mine) and introduces a re-occurring fan favorite character. The reason why gas masks will forever make me uneasy.

11 follows up after the events of 4-5 (all three could be skipped if you want to go along faster).

12-13 are the finale and should be watched.

Series 2

0 (the Christmas special) is the first one with David Tennant as the Doctor, a muse-watch in my books. (Also, some things happen that become very important in later stories but I won’t say more because spoilers.) Introduces a new important character and re-introduces something

1 has cat people.

2 is a fun one and has an easter egg of sorts for future stories/characters but isn't necessary for major plot line. It’s one of the ones I like to rewatch.

3 sees the return of an old fan favorite companion from Old Who (before this still ongoing revival).

4 is skippable unless you like some fancy French aesthetic or are into automatons.

5-6 you should watch. Re-introduction of another classic Who monster.

7 is kinda weird.

8-9 are a good, kinda creepy story. Sees the introduction of the Ood, which are one of my dad’s personal favorites, who will also pop up later.

10 is literally one of the dumbest eps ever.

11 I literally don’t remember at all but the internet tells me it involves a small child, and Doctor Who does have some good, creepy episodes playing on stereotypical childhood fears.

12-13 are the two part finale so you definitely have to watch those. Prepare for some serious emotions, though.

Series 3

0 (Christmas special) introduces Donna Noble. Must watch, but I won’t say why.

1 introduces the new companion. Also introduces a kind of goofy alien that will pop up again.

2 is a fun one with Shakespeare and witches.

3 sees a return to New New York on New Earth (same setting as 2x01). Should watch because of [spoilers redacted] at the end. (Hint: think of who mysteriously disappeared in that previous episode.)

4-5, as the titles suggest, feature Daleks and imo all Dalek episodes should be watched.

6 is ok. Honestly kind of predictable plot-line.

7 is also ok. Not particularly memorable, but it is the first episode written by Chris Chibnall, who took over as show-runner for Series 11 (first season with Jodie Whittaker, the first female Doctor).

8-9 is a two-parter and is a fan and personal favorite.

10 is unusual because the main characters are not actually the Doctor and Martha, but this is another much-loved episode. Also introduces one of my favorite and most scary (imo) aliens.

11, 12, and 13 all kind of go together. Sees the re-introduction of an important character from the show’s original run. All pretty memorable and Martha is a total badass.

Series 4 (tl;dr: watch all of this series)

0 (Christmas special; you get the drill) is a good one. Sometimes there are episodes where the Doctor meets someone where you just know they’d be a fantastic companion.

1 is a must-see because [spoilers redacted].

2 is another must-see. It’s a solid episode of Who, is yet another good example of why the Doctor shouldn’t travel alone, and as a fun fact, we see two actors who will pop up in later series.

3, as the title implies, sees the return of the Ood! Watch this for some foreshadowing.

4-5 we see a new-to-New-Who alien who is another one that will come to pop up again over time. Honestly the plot and guest characters follow some predictable tropes BUT we also get to see some of [redacted]’s family, which is always good fun.

6 I think is only an okay episode. But meeting the “Doctor’s daughter” (not a spoilers bc its the episode title) is kinda fun. And I think it gives us some interesting insight into companions post their travels with the Doctor. 

Also, weird DW fun fact: David Tennant and the actress who plays his daughter is the real-life daughter of actor Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor back in Classic Who, are now married with kids.

7 isn’t integral to any major plot lines, but it’s no doubt a fun one, especially if you like murder mysteries or Agatha Christie.

8-9 are another must-see two fan and personal favorites for many reasons why, but I can’t go into because spoilers! Some good spooky eps that are really downright chilling at times, but not completely without some good comic bits. Love watching this with friends who are watching it for the first time.

10 does an excellent job of being creepy, which is good if you’re into it, but you can skip it if not.

11 is a good one with a timey-wimey plot. Also yay because [spoilers]!

12-13 are an excellent two-part series finale and that’s all I can say.

The Specials (mini series between Series 4 & 5)

1 is good if you like Cybermen

2 has a spunky one-off companion who is a lot of fun

3 is creepy af

4-5 are a must-watch two-parter. If you liked the Series 4 finale (and let’s be real, how could you not), you’ll enjoy this. Also, it’s the last episodes with Russel T. Davies as show-runner.

Series 5

1 introduces the new Eleventh Doctor and their companion, so definitely have to watch that. (Side note: fish fingers and custard is a weird combination but, speaking from personal experience, it’s not terrible.)

2 is a good one with debatable ethical questions and some good insight into the Doctor.

3 is another Dalek episode, but it’s only okay as far as Dalek episodes go. It’s a historical one, if you like those. Fun fact: it’s written by Mark Gatiss, a collaborator of new show-runner Stephen Moffat and guest star from “The Lazarus Experiment.”

4-5 you have to see because spoilers. But it’s very good. Also, has some plot points that are related to the overall story of the Ponds.

6 you get the gist from the title and honestly it’s not terribly exciting. Some fun bits about the new group’s dynamic.

7 is a pretty weird one tbh but should be watched we get companion character development.

8-9 introduces some fun characters that will pop up again every now and then and has a very important plot point. (Fun fact: this one takes place in the year 2020!)

10 is one of the more emotionally-driven episodes and deals with mental health. One of many fan favorites.

11 is lighter fanfare after some honestly pretty heavy episodes that precede it. Not really important to the overall plot, but it’s a fun comedic one. 

12-13 are the finale, so obviously definitely watch that. Gets a little timey-wimey.

Series 6

0 is fine, as the Christmas specials go. I’m a little tired of the “man makes it his purpose in life to save his dying love who is kind of helpless in her own story” but the ending’s alright.

1-2 set the stage for the whole series, so those have to be watched.

3 has pirates, which is fun but not necessary to the main story line.

4 has such an intriguing title, so how could you not watch it? Will we finally find out if River and the Doctor are married? Spoilers.

5-6 are key plot points. Love a good doppelgänger.

7 follows immediately after 6, so I can’t say much about it.

8 is a pretty weird one but hold on to your butts for a wild ride.

9 is a properly spooky one. Like, actually low-key terrifying. But not related to the main plot line.

10 is emotionally painful but in a good way.

11 is another creepy one that plays on common fears. Inspired by some Greek mythology, which is fun.

12-13 are the two-part finale, so you know the drill.

Series 7, part I

0 is another only-okay Christmas special. They’re just not as fun as they once were, in my opinion.

1 you have to watch for plot reasons. It’s a good one because [spoilers redacted].

2 is pretty much what it sounds like. We are now also accompanied by Rory’s father, which is pretty amusing. Sees the return of a previously-met alien species. (Fun fact: one of the guest stars is David Bradley from, among other things, the Harry Potter movies.)

3 has some fun moral quandaries.

4 is fun because we see the Doctor having a go at normal Earth life, as well as thee return of some familiar arguably badass faces.

5 is a must-see for plot reasons (and the return of one of my favorite on-again-off-again companions).

Series 7, part II (don’t read below if you haven’t finished part I)

5.5 you have to watch and is a sort of mid-season Christmas special. Sees the return of an Old Who monster as well as several New Who faces.

6 follows up the events of the above special, so you have to see that, too.

7 is good because gives some backstory to Clara.

8 sees the return of another Old Who alien, whose species will pop up later in New Who. I didn’t particularly like nor dislike this one.

9 is a ghost story, which we haven’t really seen in Who for a while. It’s ok.

10 is also only ok but you should watch it for overall plot points.

11 we see the return of the Paternoster Gang, who I find quite amusing, but otherwise I didn’t really like this episode. It’s a little gross.

12 is written by Neil Gaiman so you should watch it. It’s also only fine, but better in my opinion than most of the other episodes in this part of the series.

13 is the series finale and has a rather intriguing title and wraps up this half of the series’ major story arc. Honestly I’m not a fan but you should watch it anyway.

Series 8

1 sees the return of the Paternoster Gang and more dinosaurs, but is also the first episode of the new Doctor and as such should be watched. Also have to keep an eye out at the end for some important scenes.

2 introduces a friend of Clara’s and reintroduces the Daleks but with a bit of a weird twist. Not super key to any main plot lines.

3 is pretty much what the title says it is. “Robot of Sherwood.” It’s meh.

4 is a little timey-wimey and develops some intercharacter relationships but overall isn’t exactly mandatory viewing.

5 is a robbery heist with some sci-fi twists. It’s alright.

In 6 we see Clara trying (and failing) to compartmentalize her life with the Doctor and her regular human on Earth life. It’s decent and there’s a snippet at the end that hints at some overarching plots.

7 tries to make some arguments about ethics but isn’t too convincing. The plot’s kinda fun, though.

8 is another one where the title, “Mummy on the Orient Express” pretty much sums it up. It does have a couple small throwbacks to older New Who seasons.

9 isn’t key to major plot lines but it’s a decent and kind of spooky episode.

10′s kinda dumb but has some weak environmental messaging.

11-12 wrap up the season’s major plot lines.

Series 9

0 is like a Christmas-themed reworking of a previous episode but I won’t say which one because spoilers.

1-2 are a pretty strong two-part season opener, I think. We see the return of some of the Doctor’s oldest friends/enemies.

3-4 are a properly timey-wimey, fairly creepy story. It’s a good one that honestly I wouldn’t want to watch by myself late at night with the house to myself.

5-6 are also timey-wimey AND introduce a character played by Maisie Williams (of “Game of Thrones” fame) who is actually pretty complex for a female character created by Stephen Moffat.

7-8 sees the return of, no surprise here, the Zygones. And also UNIT and Osgood, who is fan service personified but I’m ok with that.

9, in a way, is about the evils of capitalism but in space!

10 is important for plot. (Sees the return of some new old friends.)

11-12 has some good timey-wimeyness and a healthy dose of angst. (Also, the ending is gay and you can’t convince me otherwise.) It’s frustrating, but in an understandable way? I guess?

[fe8meta]

The War’s Legacy

As a volunteer archivist at a local historical site, I’ve worked closely with books and documents largely between 150~250 years old. (If you’re curious, mostly regarding the period between the American Revolution to the Civil War, plus the anti-slavery movement. There’s also more “domestic” stuff like agriculture, science, mathematics, and religion.)

It got me thinking: In Magvel, how will the war, and the people who participated in it, be remembered? Most characters have a good portion of their lives left to live after the war too, but for those who are remembered down the line, their participation in the war will probably be their biggest accomplishment.

To start things off: more likely than not, anyone who wasn’t royalty or an important military figure is probably going to get forgotten, especially if fighting in the war was their only achievement.

(From my experience as an archivist, I’ve noticed that a great deal of people who were seen as the big movers and thinkers during their time have been lowered to one-note and forgettable in some 150-ish years of history. That’s not a lot of time!)

I think the list of characters who are remembered decades after their deaths on a continental scale (some characters may remain important figures in their own communities) would be the royals, the generals (Seth plus the Imperial Generals), and the Demon King (plus his cult).

The Royals

Ephraim: Regarding the war, Ephraim will probably get his war strategies and accomplishments written about. I expect a great deal of historians (particularly Renaian ones) debating his decision to abandon his homeland and bring the fight into Grado, though his later decisions will probably receive praise.

Eirika: Honestly? I think she’ll largely receive praise from future historians. Despite getting tricked at Renvall and the blunder of losing the Sacred Stone (on her route), I think historians would agree that her calculations were solid based on the information she knew at the time. Even if she had Seth advising her, she had no formal training in tactics or the art of war, making her achievements even more impressive.

~ / ~ / ~

Innes: Like Eirika, I think he’d be validated by historians, particularly for being the only one to actually predict and prepare for a wartime scenario. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, but based on what we know of him story-wise, he probably would go down as one of the best leaders of his time.

Tana: She’s gutsy and I think she’ll at least become a popular figure for young women. Some historians may lambast her earlier captures attributable to her inexperience, but hey, if she got out alive than it’s not too bad. I think later in life, being largely free to do whatever she wants (within reason), she’d continue onto a path of public service, which she can probably gather great acclaim for.

~ / ~ / ~

L’Arachel: I think a lot of attention will go towards her theatrics. If you go with the idea that L’Arachel doesn’t actually lead her country (see the Solo Endings JP vs. EN post for details), I think her relationship with the other royals and how she’s involved in continental politics will be the primary focus in biographies. (She also, perhaps not coincidentally, has supports with all the other ruling royals, discounting Tana as she canonically never lands in a leadership position.)

Joshua: Joshua’s reputation will be very, very mixed down the line. He’s still has wanderlust and a gambling addiction, and regardless of his accomplishments as a king and Jehanna’s glorious revival, neither of those traits are a particularly good look. Not to mention that he abandoned his duty as prince for a solid 10 years, and then left Jehanna to its own devices again while going to stop the Demon King.

Even in Joshua’s dialogue after the final battle, he talks about returning to Jehanna in an almost resigned manner; no doubt he knows full well that he might not be received with open arms.

~ / ~ / ~

Lyon: Oh boy, what to say about Lyon. There are a lot of different ways this can go, branching from 3 options: Lyon’s involvement in the war is revealed in full, Lyon’s involvement is revealed but doctored to paint him in a more sympathetic light, or it gets entirely covered up/omitted and he goes down in history as an unfortunate casualty of the war.

No matter how you slice the first two options, Lyon’s legacy would definitely be extremely mixed, leaning towards the negative side. Not only is he on the wrong side of history, he’s also forced basically half the continent into the wrong side of history and ruined their military and did some very amoral things (reviving his father to use as a puppet, and by extension lying to the public, etc). Even the best doctoring can probably only redeem Lyon’s reputation from “the deepest depths of the sewers” to “neck-deep in the sewers.”

In the case where Lyon’s involvement in the war is covered up, it’s still only a matter of time before someone figures out the truth. With enough time, it can be relegated to a highly plausible and hotly-debated theory, but even so, it’s simply a matter of time. For an additional dose of irony, in this scenario, perhaps Grado nationalists down the line twist Lyon’s war into something “assertive” and depict it as the “correct” thing to do, when it was really anything but.

Vigarde: He’s in the same boat as Lyon. It really hinges on how the royals choose to depict Lyon’s situation to the public, because that will directly affect how Vigarde is seen. There’s little doubt that puppet!Vigarde’s actions probably destroyed popular opinion of him during the War. Whether he is redeemed on account of his situation or not is up for debate.

(Because the game doesn’t delve into Fado, Hayden, or Mansel much, I don’t have enough input to say how they’ll be seen by future historians.)

The Generals

Seth: He’s going to go down in history as a badass, let’s be real here. Took an attack from Valter himself to protect Eirika, didn’t let the injury debilitate him from fighting on the frontlines, mentored Eirika in the art of war during life-or-death battles, guided the twins on their journey, and continued helping them after the war’s end. Guy got things done, regardless of his personal sentiment about failing to protect King Fado.

Syrene: Technically a commander and not a general, but close enough that I’ll consider her. She... honestly doesn’t do that much on-screen. Doubtlessly she’ll be best remembered (on the battlefield) for being overpowered by the remnant of Grado’s forces, but at least she lived and (by the player’s discretion) kept all the villagers safe, so that’s something. At the very least, a coward she is not.

Carlyle: He’s going down in infamy. Like, his story can be crudely summed up as “I was loyal to Queen Ismaire partially because I wanted to bang her.” Yeah, that is not a good look. There isn’t even any interesting speculation or interpretations to make of his situation. He probably ruined the reputation of the Jehannan Army while he was at it.

Honestly, the only thing that would salvage his reputation is the fact that everyone who heard his confession is dead by the end of that battle. (Technically the map was a Seize Throne and not a Rout, but let’s be real -- we killed those guards.)

~ / ~ / ~

Duessel: The only Grado general to make it out alive. He’ll probably get a mixed reaction; those who praise him argue that he made the morally correct choice and had the nation’s best interests at heart. Some may criticize him for not acting sooner, while others may very well despise him as a traitor to the nation.

Selena: Another set of mixed reactions, though inverse from Duessel’s. She remained loyal to Vigarde to the very end, but people will debate where a knight’s loyalty should lie. It would also invite much debate over the ethics of Vigarde’s recruitment methods and whether it was a thinly-veiled manipulation tactic that citizens from poorer areas will fall for because it’s the only way to improve their livelihoods.

Glen: He’s like Syrene, except he died without doing much. If someone is interested in finding out more about him before his death, at least they have Cormag to interview. Depending on whether his two adjutants survived against Valter’s goons, if someone tracked them down, they might get a story out of them as well. That said, his history with Valter would probably be of great interest to Valter’s biographers.

~ / ~ / ~ 

Valter: Historians, psychologists, and scholars will have a field day with him and his circumstances. From his upbringing to his descent into madness and subsequent exile, to his reinstatement and brutality during the war before his ultimate death, there is a lot to unpack with him. People tend to have morbid curiosities and oh, will Valter sate that appetite.

Caellach: Caellach will probably be praised for being good at what he did even if he was ultimately on the wrong side of history. Since he started off as a mercenary, I feel like people won’t judge him too harshly. His potential betrayal and murder of Aias will be an interesting chapter to write about, though, since historians may have access to more knowledge on their pre-war relationship that we players don’t have.

Riev: He’s ugly, a Demon King cultist, and directly responsible for Lyon’s (and by extension, Grado’s) downfall. He’s going to be reviled for sure, though he will spark some interesting discussion relating to his history with the Rausten Church. A lot of speculation on how he came to became an adherent of the Demon King... or not, depending how whether that kind of talk is suppressed.

After all, if a former bishop converted, it not only challenges the legitimacy of the Rausten Church, it would also pique the interest of those who want to see what made Riev change his mind. And should someone also adopt his ideology, the continent can’t take another Demon King revival attempt.

Which leads me to...

The Demon King

Now, this will be a little game called “How many generations will it take before the Demon King gets relegated to a legend that no one believes in again.”

It’s also pretty important that the Demon King is not completely destroyed; he just no longer has his huge menacing body to use and will have to make do with those fragile human flesh sacks. But his soul is still intact, and if nothing is done to get rid of it for good, it’s setting up for a Part 3.

Like with Lyon, how information about the Demon King is handled by the characters after the world will probably have a huge impact. Not to mention the many implications the circumstances around his possession of Lyon has. Dark/ancient magic will most certainly face a resurgent wave of discrimination, far more than seen before. (Magvel was, from what we could see, largely apathetic about dark magic before Lyon’s attempts to redeem its name. Ironically, his actions will rekindle hatred towards it.)

As aforementioned, educating people on the Demon King and how dangerous he is may help ensure that nobody tries to mess with him again. On the other hand, it may inspire copycats who for whatever reason want the Demon King to be revived. (The game also never followed up on the implication that there’s a cult that worships the Demon King; we killed Riev and Novala, and destroyed Fomortiis’ body, but there may still be more members lurking in the dark.)

Meanwhile, trying to bury information about Fomortiis can also backfire down the line, especially if people don’t learn what the Sacred Stone is for and one day crack the seal open for one reason or another. (And we saw how well keeping the true Stone hidden behind trinkets while keeping its wearer in the dark of its true purpose went.)

This is making me imagine Demon King apologists down the line that provide an “alternative history” about the war and how it’s all some ancient conspiracy to lock him away and he “isn’t actually bad, just misunderstood”...

Oh hey, isn’t that the direction Dragalia Lost’s main story is going in?

[themadlostgirl]

Peter Pan Won’t Fail (2/2)

*Finally got part two!*

Prompt: Modern Reader ends up on the Neverland from her favorite tv show Once Upon A Time and proves to be very helpful. (Part 1)

Requested by: anon

Warnings: language

---

Months passed since I first showed up on Neverland. While most of my time was spent with me cataloging everything I knew from Once Upon A Time the show I did get some other hobbies. I got to learn how to fight, an endeavor that resulted in many bruises and a dislocated shoulder. I explored the island and got closer to the Lost Boys. I met Tinkerbell but Peter forbid me from telling her anything about what I know. He was rightfully pissed that Tink betrays him in the future.

Speaking of the future I was still on the fence about my involvement in it. I tried to rationalize it away. Convince myself that these people weren’t necessarily real and so had no actual input on anything. Most days I could ignore it. Other days not so much. I hate debating my choices in morally compromising situations.

During the night Peter straightened and fell quiet suddenly. I waited to see what he was doing when he smiled. “New souls entered the island. Could it be the boy?”

“How many?”

“Three.”

“Should be.” I took a deep breath, “The games begin.”

Peter called Felix and some of the other boys and sent them off to find Henry and the two adults he came with. This is happening. This is actually happening now. I’m in the plot of the show.

“Y/N--” A hand dropped onto my shoulder and I jumped a foot in the air.

“Nervous are we?” Peter teased, “If your information is correct then there is nothing to worry about.”

“I know, I know.” I shrugged his hand off, “I guess a part of me didn’t believe in all of this deep down. I mean, for years I watched these characters and wanted them to get their happily ever afters. I loved you as a villain and stuff but if they hadn’t defeated you then everything would have been for nothing. All the people I cheered for...gone. Now that it’s happening for real I--I guess I feel guilty.”

“Is that so?” his eyes narrowed. “Losing our nerve are we? I thought you wanted us to win. To change the story.”

“Yeah…”

He towered over me, that once teasing glint now a cold stare. “Are you going to be a problem? I would hate to have to go back on my word and lock you in a cage until after I have the heart.”

“No! I promise! I’m fine!” I tried in vain to stop my shaking hands, “I’m on your side. I want you to win. I want you to live.”

“Good.” he wrapped an arm around me and started ushering me deeper into the jungle, “Then you won’t mind taking on a special role in the proceedings. Won’t you?”

“Of course not.” I relaxed at his touch, “What did you have in mind?”

“Deliver this,” he produced a straw doll and placed it in my hands, “to Rumple for me when he gets here.”

I tucked the doll away. “Not a problem.”

“There’s my Lost Girl.” he traced a finger across my cheek, “Now you say I need to keep my shadow confined to the island?”

“Not unless you want Baelfire running around and teaming up with Rumple to get Henry back. It’ll make things easier without another person to interfere but I think our real worry is Regina. She’ll go to hell and back for her son and was labeled the Evil Queen for a reason. Murder isn’t something she’ll abstain from.”

“Good thing we don’t either.” 

I waited in the camp while Peter and the boys collected Henry. When they returned Peter nodded to me and I went out on my own mission to find Rumple. I really hope that this goes like with Felix and that he doesn’t just immediately try to kill me.

I wandered around until I saw a figure in a clearing. Okay. I can do this. I walked closer and he turned to me, his calm demeanor shifting into confusion when he saw me. “You’re not who I was expecting to see.”

“I know.” I kept my hands clasped behind my back so he couldn’t see them shaking. “I’m just here to deliver a message of welcome. Seeing as how you’re here for Henry though that makes you Peter’s enemy so not really a welcome I suppose.”

“Who are you?” he scanned me from head to toe, “You’re not from here. A strange magic swirls around you. You’re not meant to be here, are you?”

“I shouldn’t be here but it isn’t going to stop the fact that I am.” I pulled out the straw doll and tossed it to him, “You can’t see the future here but I do. Spoiler alert, you don’t win.”

Rumple picked up the doll with tears in his eyes. It might have been sad if I wasn’t simultaneously terrified of the man and the power he wields before me.

“Who are you?” he ground out through clenched teeth. “Who are you!”

“I’m the tipping point.” I grinned as a new feeling started to emerge. Sadism that I had never known before. That delight in seeing him crumpled on the ground trying in vain to cover the sobs escaping from him. Pain that I caused just by handing him a little doll.

When I got back to camp I found Peter immediately and told him about my meeting with Rumple. “Sounds like you did very well, my Lost Girl.” he pulled me closer, “You’re having fun now, aren’t you?”

“So much fun.” my heart fluttered wildly in my chest.

“And the fun will only continue. But it is getting rather late so we’ll return to the game in the morning.” Peter took one of my hands and brought it up to his lips to kiss and wink at me. “Goodnight, Lost Girl.” he said and walked off towards his tent leaving me dumbfounded and gaping like a fool in the middle of the camp.

The pleasant buzz clouding my mind started to abate. That boy is slowly dissolving my moral compass and I can’t find myself to be upset about it. Not when he did such things like that.

What good were ethics when you lived here anyways? How could guilt help me survive? Why save one boy I do not know from Adam when I needed to save someone who meant something to me?

Over the months I’ve spent here Peter Pan has come to mean something to me. He means survival. He means adventure. He means laughter. He means...he means happiness. He may even mean something more that I daren’t believe possible. Maybe I’m just being stupid. Maybe I’m letting all the damn fanfiction I read obscure what is true. Maybe all I am is a means to an end and once he is cured then every promise he made will be forfeit. This time next week I may very well even be dead.

Right now though...right in this moment I am alive. I am here. I am a Lost Girl and when Peter Pan looks at me my heart skips a beat. Even if it is all just an act or an illusion I want to be happy. I want to pretend that this is where I am meant to be.

With that dream in my head I went to my own tent and fell asleep to await the rest of the events of this week.

And so it was a strange couple of days. With my advice and foresight things were going much smoother. Maybe not as fun as Peter would have liked but in this case he wouldn’t die. That’s all that matters in the end really.

If things remain as they are then there will be nothing to worry about. Wendy was confined and kept on high guard so that none of the others could intercept what she knew. I didn’t like the idea of keeping her prisoner still and negotiated to have her returned to her brothers in Storybrooke after we had won. My one good deed amongst all my other rather abhorrent dealings since coming here.

Neal wasn’t on the island. Rumple had been duped by Peter’s shadow disguised as Belle and had been returned to Storybrooke. Peter had taken Tinkerbell’s heart and forbade her from helping heroes. We found Baelfire’s old hideaway and taken everything of use out. A group of Lost Boys had found the Jolly Roger per my instructions and sailed it far off into the ocean. There was only one single row boat on the island and it was with Peter. He should be heading to Skull Rock right about now with Henry.

It’ll all be over soon.

I was taking a walk through the jungle singing softly. The only loose end was Emma, Regina, Snow, David, and Hook. I had yet to see any of them and was hoping to keep it that way. If I did run into them then I had a very specific job that Peter entrusted to me.

“The King and his men stole the Queen from her bed and bound her in her bones.” I sung, “The seas be ours and by the powers where we will we'll roam.”

“Yo ho, all hands hoist the colors high.” a voice answered from the darkness, “Heave ho, thieves and beggars. Never shall we die.”

A gust of wind pushed me down to the ground and held me there. “What do we have here?”

“Damn,” I hissed in pain. A bunch of people started to gather around me. “I should have stayed in the camp.”

“Where is Henry?” One of them demanded but in the dark it was hard to tell who.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you are the adults looking for Henry? Emma? Regina? Hook?”

“You know her?” A feminine voiced asked.

“Never seen her before. Outside of Tinkerbell and the mermaids I had never met another girl on the island.” Definitely Captain Hook.

“If you let me up I will take questions.” I told them. The invisible weight pinning me down lessened and I stood up. Sure enough it was the heroes that had found me. It is so weird seeing them and knowing that they aren’t just actors right now.

“Who are you? Where is my son?” Emma demanded.

“My name is Y/N.” I told them. It is now time to put my encyclopedic knowledge of Once Upon a Time and ability to lie out of my ass to the test. “Your son is no longer on the island.”

“What? What do you mean?” I had multiple weapons pointed at me. “Where is Henry?”

“Storybrooke.” I fished the magic bean Peter had given me out of my pocket, “I snagged these off of Pan. Gave one to Henry to go home.”

“Why should we believe you? You could be lying.”

“But I’m not. I came here to save him since in my world you lot fail.”

“What are you talking about?” Regina edged closer with a fireball.

“Okay, long story short I come from a land where all of this,” I gestured to the jungle, “And all of you are part of a TV show. This is the Neverland arc. People argue it was one of the last good ones before things started going off the rails.”

“I’ve been through a lot but even that doesn’t sound real.” Emma rolled her eyes.

“Henry’s father is a man named Neal, Rumplestiltskin’s son, previously known as Baelfire. He was tricked into an engagement with a woman named Tamara whom you suspected. When you went to search their room you had Henry stand guard outside and to bump against the door if anyone came.” I said and she backed off. “Too specific an instance?”

“Henry could have told you that--”

“Snow here had a one night stand with Doctor Frankenstein and Charming punched him in the face after the curse was broken when he found out. Do you think Henry knows that one?” I cocked an eyebrow at them. It was really hard not to laugh in that instance since Snow and David looked extremely uncomfortable with the reminder.

The others started to back off but Hook kept his sword trained on me, “And you...what can I say to you? You and Pan are well informed but I know something that not even he does.”

“What, pray tell, is that?” he snarled.

“You know lullabies. One at least. Your mother used to sing it. Her name was Alice.” I answered. If the Hyperion Heights arc did anything right it was giving us Colin O’Donoghue dressed as Captain Hook singing lullabies to a squishy little baby.

“How did--”

“Now do you all believe me? I know how this story goes and I am changing how it ends. That way you idiots can win and not let your son die this time.”

“We...we fail?” Snow looked heartbroken.

“Not this time.” I held out the bean to them, “Henry is already home. He’s waiting for you. Why do you think I’m out here singing sea shanties? I was hoping one of you would hear me so I could pass this on.”

“And what do you get out of this?” Regina asked.

“I get to watch a happy ending instead of a sad one. I mean, there is a bunch of bull that the show goes through to bring Henry back like two episodes later but this is much faster and hopefully not as convoluted.” It was actually kind of amazing how effortlessly the lies were flowing out of me.

“Great, if we can just get back to the ship then--”

“The ship isn’t there anymore.” I sighed, “Like immediately after you all got here Pan finds the ship and sets it on fire.”

“WHAT!” Hook shouted, “My--my ship!”

“Yeah...sorry, couldn’t do anything about that one.”

“What about, Gold? Can we just leave without him?”

“He’s currently in a magical fight to the death with Pan on Skull Rock where they will most likely kill each other. Considering all the crap he’s pulled in the past against all of you I say we leave them to it. Yeah?”

The adults exchanged uneasy glances before nodding. “Great. Now off you go. Say hi to Henry for me.” I dropped the bean on the ground and they all fell through back to Storybrooke.

“Oh thank god!” I breathed out in relief. “That was a lot more work than it should have been. I could have just as easily thrown it at their feet the second I was up but no. I had to go on a Once Upon a Time trivia binger. At least they’re gone and can’t intervene anymore.”

I looked around at the empty jungle and sighed, “And the talking to myself has increased by double. Nice. I’m gonna get out of here.”

I stood over the cliff looking over Skull Rock to wait. Hopefully my advice didn’t work against Henry’s belief in Peter. If things go wrong then we are all screwed. Time ticked by at a torturous pace. I was starting to think that we had failed again when I saw something fly out from Skull Rock.

Peter! He did it! We won! We won!

As if sensing my excitement he flew straight to where I was waiting and landed in front of me. Before I could react he scooped me up in his arms and spun me around. “Hello, Lost Girl,” Peter was smiling like a madman, “I did it.”

“I noticed.” I chuckled as he set me down once more, “No trouble on your end?’

“None whatsoever. Henry was only to eager to hand over his heart to me. Now I am all powerful.” Peter floated off the ground a few inches to prove his point, “No loose ends on your front?”

“None. The heroes are trapped in their world and you have the heart. There’s nothing they can do.” I was practically bouncing from excitement.

He settled back on the ground. His excitement was mellowing out and I could see the gears turning in his head. “What happens now?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. Some of my fear started to creep back in but I squashed it down. “This is an alternate timeline now, we’ll just have to write our own story from here on out.”

“Our?” Peter cast his eyes to me once more. I let myself believe there may have been fondness in them.

“Yes. What good is an all powerful king of Neverland without a queen to tell him he’s doing it wrong?” I smirked at him.

“I knew I was gonna like you.” he pulled me flush against him, “Say it.”

“Say what?”

“You know what.”

“Peter Pan never fails.” I whispered, our faces a breath apart.

He kissed me so intensely I felt the earth shudder around me. “Damn right.”

[jewish-privilege]

One of Wenzel Michalski’s early recollections of growing up in southern Germany in the 1970s was of his father, Franz, giving him some advice: “Don’t tell anyone that you’re Jewish.” Franz and his mother and his little brother had survived the Holocaust by traveling across swaths of Eastern and Central Europe to hide from the Gestapo, and after the war, his experiences back in Germany suggested that, though the Nazis had been defeated, the anti-Semitism that was intrinsic to their ideology had not. This became clear to Franz when his teachers in Berlin cast stealthily malicious glances at him when Jewish characters — such as Shylock in “The Merchant of Venice” — came up in literature. “Eh, Michalski, this exactly pertains to you,” he recalls one teacher telling him through a clenched smile. Many years later, when he worked as an animal-feed trader in Hamburg, he didn’t tell friends that he was Jewish and held his tongue when he heard them make anti-Semitic comments. And so Franz told his son Wenzel that things would go easier for him if he remained quiet about being Jewish. “The moment you say it, things will become very awkward.”

As a teenager, Wenzel defied his father’s advice and told a close friend. That friend quickly told his mother, and the next time Wenzel saw her, she reacted quite strongly, hugging him and kissing his face: “Wenzel! Oh, my Wenzel!” Now a stocky, bearded 56-year-old, Wenzel recalled the moment to me on a recent Saturday afternoon. He raised the pitch of his voice as he continued to mimic her: “You people! You are the most intelligent! The most sensitive! You are the best pianists in the world! And the best poets!” In his normal voice again, he added, “Then I understood what my father meant.”

Wenzel Michalski is now the director of Human Rights Watch for Germany. He and his wife, Gemma, an outgoing British expat, live in a cavernous apartment building in the west of Berlin. In their kitchen, Gemma told me that after arriving in Germany in 1989, she often got a strangely defensive reaction when she told people she was Jewish; they would tell her they didn’t feel responsible for the Holocaust or would defend their grandparents as not having perpetrated it. And so, to avoid conversations like these, she, too, stayed quiet about being Jewish.

Recently, the Michalskis’ youngest son became the third generation of the family to learn that telling people he is Jewish could cause problems. The boy — whose parents asked that he be called by one of his middle names, Solomon, to protect his privacy — had attended a Jewish primary school in Berlin. But he didn’t want to stay in such a homogeneous school for good, so just before he turned 14, he transferred to a public school that was representative of Germany’s new diversity — a place, as Gemma described it, where he “could have friends with names like Hassan and Ahmed.”

The first few days there seemed to go well. Solomon, an affable kid with an easy smile, bonded with one classmate over their common affection for rap music. That classmate introduced him to a German-Turkish rapper who would rap about “Allah and stuff,” Solomon told me. In return, he introduced the classmate to American and British rap. Solomon had a feeling they would end up being best friends. On the fourth day, when Solomon was in ethics class, the teachers asked the students what houses of worship they had been to. One student mentioned a mosque. Another mentioned a church. Solomon raised his hand and said he’d been to a synagogue. There was a strange silence, Solomon later recalled. One teacher asked how he had encountered a synagogue.

“I’m Jewish,” Solomon said.

“Everyone was shocked, especially the teachers,” Solomon later told me about this moment. After class, a teacher told Solomon that he was “very brave.” Solomon was perplexed. As Gemma explained: “He didn’t know that you’re not meant to tell anyone.”

The following day, Solomon brought brownies to school for his birthday. He was giving them out during lunch when the boy he had hoped would be his best friend informed him that there were a lot of Muslim students at the school who used the word “Jew” as an insult. Solomon wondered whether his friend included himself in this category, and so after school, he asked for clarification. The boy put his arm around Solomon’s shoulders and told him that, though he was a “real babo” — Kurdish slang for “boss” — they couldn’t be friends, because Jews and Muslims could not be friends. The classmate then rattled off a series of anti-Semitic comments, according to Solomon: that Jews were murderers, only interested in money.

Over the next few months, Solomon was bullied in an increasingly aggressive fashion. One day, he returned home with a large bruise from a punch on the back. On another occasion, Solomon was walking home and stopped into a bakery. When he emerged, he found one of his tormentors pointing what looked like a handgun at him. Solomon’s heart raced. The boy pulled the trigger. Click. The gun turned out to be a fake. But it gave Solomon the scare of his life.

When Solomon first told his parents about the bullying, they resolved to turn it into a teaching moment. They arranged to have Wenzel’s father visit the school to share his story about escaping the Gestapo. But the bullying worsened, Gemma told me, and they felt the school did not do nearly enough to confront the problem. The Michalskis went public with their story in 2017, sharing it with media outlets in order to spark what they viewed as a much-needed discussion about anti-Semitism in German schools. Since then, dozens of cases of anti-Semitic bullying in schools have come to light, including one case last year at the German-American school where my own son attends first grade, in which, according to local news reports, students tormented a ninth grader, for months, chanting things like “Off to Auschwitz in a freight train.” Under criticism for its handling of the case, the administration released a statement saying it regretted the school’s initial response but was taking action and having “intensive talks” with the educational staff.

...For the Michalskis, all this was evidence that German society never truly reckoned with anti-Semitism after the war. Germany had restored synagogues and built memorials to the victims of the Holocaust, Wenzel said: “So for a lot of mainstream, middle-class people, that means: ‘We’ve done it. We dealt with anti-Semitism.’ But nobody really dealt with it within the families. The big, the hard, the painful questions were never asked.” In Wenzel’s view, the Muslim students who tormented his child were acting in an environment that was already suffused with native anti-Semitism. “A lot of conservative politicians now say, ‘Oh, the Muslims are importing their anti-Semitism to our wonderful, anti-anti-Semitic culture,’ ” he said. “That’s bull. They’re trying to politicize this.”

Jewish life in Germany was never fully extinguished. After the Nazi genocide of six million Jews, some 20,000 Jewish displaced persons from Eastern Europe ended up settling permanently in West Germany, joining an unknown number of the roughly 15,000 surviving German Jews who still remained in the country after the war. The new German political class rejected, in speeches and in the law, the rabid anti-Semitism that had been foundational to Nazism — measures considered not only to be morally imperative but necessary to re-establish German legitimacy on the international stage. This change, however, did not necessarily reflect an immediate conversion in longstanding anti-Semitic attitudes on the ground. In the decades that followed, a desire among many Germans to deflect or repress guilt for the Holocaust led to a new form of antipathy toward Jews — a phenomenon that came to be known as “secondary anti-Semitism,” in which Germans resent Jews for reminding them of their guilt, reversing the victim and perpetrator roles. “It seems the Germans will never forgive us Auschwitz,” Hilde Walter, a German-Jewish journalist, was quoted as saying in 1968.

Holocaust commemoration in West Germany increasingly became an affair of the state and civic groups, giving rise to a prevailing erinnerungskultur, or “culture of remembrance,” that today is most prominently illustrated by the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, a funereal 4.7-acre site near the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, inaugurated in 2005. But even as Germany’s remembrance culture has been held up as an international model of how to confront the horrors of the past, it has not been universally supported at home. According to a 2015 Anti-Defamation League survey, 51 percent of Germans believe that it is “probably true” that “Jews still talk too much about what happened to them in the Holocaust”; 30 percent agreed with the statement “People hate Jews because of the way Jews behave.”

...The exact nature of the anti-Semitic threat — and indeed, whether it rises to the level of an existential threat at all — is intensely debated within Germany’s Jewish community. Many see the greatest peril as coming from an emboldened extreme right that is hostile to both Muslims and Jews, as the recent shootings by white supremacists in synagogues in Pittsburgh and Poway, Calif., and mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, horrifically illustrated. Multiple surveys suggest that anti-Muslim attitudes in Germany and other European countries are more widespread than anti-Semitism. At the same time, a number of surveys show that Muslims in Germany and other European countries are more likely to hold anti-Semitic views than the overall population. The 2015 Anti-Defamation League survey, for instance, found that 56 percent of Muslims in Germany harbored anti-Semitic attitudes, compared with 16 percent for the overall population. Conservative Jews see the political left as unwilling to name this problem out of reluctance to further marginalize an already marginalized group or because of leftist anti-Zionism. The far right, anti-Islam A.f.D. — the very political party that, for its relativizing of Nazi crimes, many Jews find most noxious — has sought to exploit these divisions and now portrays itself as a defender of Germany’s Jews against what it depicts as the Muslim threat.

...The early signs are mixed. Sigmount Königsberg is the anti-Semitism commissioner for Berlin’s Jewish Community, the organization that oversees synagogues and other aspects of local Jewish life. At a cafe next to the domed New Synagogue, which was spared destruction during the pogroms of November 1938, Königsberg, an affable 58-year-old, told me his mother had been liberated from the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp and had intended to move to Paris. Instead, she became stranded in the German border town of Saarbrücken, and she soon met Königsberg’s father, also a Holocaust survivor. Like other Jewish families, they were ambivalent about remaining in Germany. Königsberg employed an often-used metaphor to describe this unsettledness: Until the 1980s, he said, German Jews “sat on a packed suitcase.” After East and West Germany reunified, many Jews feared a nationalist revival. Despite a wave of racist attacks on immigrants, that revival did not seem to materialize. In fact, the European Union, which was created to temper those impulses, was ascendant. Jews felt more secure, Königsberg told me: “We unpacked the suitcase and stored it in the cellar.”

Now, he believed, that sense of security has eroded. People aren’t heading for the exits yet, he said, but they are starting to think, Where did I put that suitcase?

...[Felix Klein, Germany’s first federal Commissioner for Jewish Life in Germany and the Fight Against Anti-Semitism] listed several things the German government should be doing at the federal and state levels to fight anti-Semitism; chief among them was training teachers and the police simply to recognize it. He also said school books should include more lessons about Jewish contributions to Germany. “We only started to talk about Jews when the Nazi period came up in our history lesson,” he said. “We didn’t speak about Jewish life before that, and we didn’t speak about Jewish life after.”

The rise of anti-Semitic acts, Klein told me, was not just a matter of rising hate but a rising willingness to express it. This was because of social media, he said, as well as the A.f.D. and its “brutalization” of the political discourse. There are also the challenges that are caused by anti-Semitism from Muslims, he said, though, he added, according to criminal statistics, this was not the main problem...

He added that the existing statistics should not be used as a pretext “to avoid a discussion regarding anti-Semitism from Muslims.” I asked him if there was any fear that such a conversation would raise tensions between minority groups instead of protecting them. “I think there is a fear,” he said. “This is why I think the right strategy is to denounce any form of anti-Semitism, regardless of the numbers. I don’t want to start a discussion about which one is more problematic or more dangerous than the other.”

He leaned in to underscore this point. “You should not start this discussion, because then you start using one political group against the other. We should not do that.”

...Last year, two-dozen Jewish A.f.D. supporters founded a group called “Jews in the A.f.D.,” or J.A.f.D., asserting, in a “statement of principles,” that it is the only party willing to “thematize Muslim hatred of Jews without trivializing it.” In response, the Central Council of Jews in Germany and 41 other Jewish organizations released a joint statement condemning the A.f.D. as racist and anti-Semitic and warned Jews not to fall for its “apparent concern” for their safety. “We won’t allow ourselves to be instrumentalized by the A.f.D.,” the statement read. “No, the A.f.D. is a danger to Jewish life in Germany.”

On a Sunday afternoon last October, J.A.f.D. held its inaugural event in a gymnasium on the outskirts of the Hessian city of Wiesbaden. A J.A.f.D. supporter in the crowd of attendees, who wore a yarmulke and a Star of David necklace that dangled outside his shirt next to an A.f.D. pin, told me, in a strong Russian accent, that he had emigrated from Moscow in the early 1990s. As reporters gathered around him, he rattled off a series of claims often recited at far-right political gatherings: Muslim immigrants come from an “absolutely alien” culture. They would “bring Shariah law” and “rape” to Germany. When a reporter from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung tried to get his name, the man refused to give it. He didn’t trust the lügenpresse — “the lying press” — he said, using a phrase that, long preceding “fake news,” had been deployed by propagandists in Nazi Germany to spread conspiracy theories about newspapers controlled by “world Jewry.”

...The Fraenkelufer Synagogue sits on Berlin’s Landwehr Canal, a snaking, several-mile-long waterway that meets the city’s major river, the Spree, on each end. In September 1945, according to a Chicago Sun reporter, the canal still stank of decayed corpses when 400 Jewish survivors and about 30 American Jewish soldiers gathered for the first postwar synagogue service in Berlin. The main neo-Classical sanctuary that had once stood at the site sat in ruins, but a Jewish-American lieutenant stationed in Berlin named Harry Nowalsky, who could see the synagogue from his bedroom window, had made it a personal mission to restore a smaller, still-intact sanctuary in time for Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. On the cool holiday evening, the congregants, as one reporter wrote, “sang songs of Israel with tear-stained faces.” 

...Fraenkelufer Synagogue would not exist today without immigration. After the war, Jews from Eastern Europe formed a small congregation. After 1989, Jews from the former Soviet Union joined, but by the turn of the millennium, the congregation had dwindled. That began to change several years ago, with the immigration of young Jews from around the world to the neighborhood, including some of the thousands of Israelis who have migrated to Berlin in recent years — many of whom lean to the political left and are troubled by Israel’s rightward political shift...

One evening last summer, three generations of the Michalski family — Wenzel and Gemma, Wenzel’s father, Franz, and his mother, Petra, as well as Solomon’s siblings — sat in a row at an English-language theater in Berlin to watch Solomon, now 16 and enrolled in a new private school, perform in a play inspired by his experience with anti-Semitic bullying.

The play began with a scene in a classroom where an assignment was written on the board: “Tribalism Divides Communities — Elucidate.” The teenagers portrayed two tribes, the Whoozis and the Whatzits, who, because of ancient rivalries, fight. Eventually, everyone falls to the floor and perishes in a final battle. But then everyone slowly rises.

“So that’s it?” one tribe member said. “Everyone dies in the end?”

“That sucks,” another said.

“Yes, but it’s realistic,” another said.

Solomon had the last line.

“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not leaving until we get this right.”

After the play, Gemma told me that she didn’t hold grudges against the kids who bullied her son. “I didn’t give up on those kids,” she said. “The school gave up on those kids.” The attitude from many of the teachers, she said, was: “You can’t talk to them; they’re just Muslims.” This revealed a troubling unwillingness to stand up for, as she put it, “life in a liberal, tolerant democracy for everyone, beyond racism.”

I asked Solomon if he had thought much about anti-Semitism before the bullying episodes. He told me about a trip he took with his grandparents just before the bullying began. They visited the places in Poland, the Czech Republic and eastern Germany where his grandfather had hidden from the Gestapo. “That really opened my mind,” he told me. “I knew about my grandpa’s experiences, but I just, you know, felt really proud to be Jewish after that trip. Then after this whole thing happened, it makes me even more proud to be Jewish. I wouldn’t say I feel more religious. But it’s just the identity, the ethnic background of being Jewish and walking in Berlin as a Jewish boy.” His mother later told me that she found it sad that her son had formed a stronger sense of tribal identity based on the experience of mistreatment. She had not wanted him to forge his identity in fear. “I wanted him to be free,” she said.

Solomon told me that he was happy at his new school. He had made new friends of diverse backgrounds, and they had formed a band called the Minorities. Still, he added, he did not feel free to express his newfound Jewish identity in public. He had wanted to wear a Star of David necklace, he told me, but he and his parents had decided that this was not a good idea. The necklace could be exposed if someone were to pull his shirt back. “The thing is,” he said, “it’s still really dangerous. I mean, it’s not like, ‘O.K., everything is fine now.’ ”

[Read James Angelos’s excellent piece in The New York Times Magazine.]

[cryptovalid]

Fascism: The Basics

Fascism is an anti-intellectual, militaristic, anti-democratic ideology. It does not structure or present itself like a political theory usually does. The writings of famous fascist leaders are usually about specific issues and opinions. They often contradict each other and themselves. Fascists are obsessed with tradition and national culture and will vary wildly from country to country. Trying to define fascism and understand it is not as easy as citing a source, and is not a neutral act. On top of that, modern fascism knows it has to hide itself to be accepted, so it is even harder to pin down.

What I'm going to describe here are some important features of fascism.

-Fascism is nationalistic. The survival of the nation is the most important thing for a fascist. Everything else must be sacrificed to maintain it. It's important to understand that the fascist has no respect for the nation as it is, but instead has an ideal nation in mind. Usually that ideal nation is a historical fantasy about a time when the nation was pure and strong. Recreating that ideal nation requires violence.

-Fascism is violent. A fascist pacifist is an oxymoron. Fascism glorifies weapons and people who use them against their enemies, which include most of the world. For a fascist, peace breeds weakness and only conflict breeds virtue. Avoiding violence is seen as inherently cowardly. If a fascist avoids violence, it is a temporary tactical decision, and fascists believe the same is true for everyone else. Violence is seen as authentic, domination as natural.

-Fascism is anti-intellectual, anti-democratic and amoral. For a fascist, talk is cheap. If knowledge does not help the nation dominate others, it is useless or even dangerous. This is why fascists famously burn books. It does not mean they are unintelligent, but that they see knowledge as a tool rather than a goal. Fascists also believe in a clear hierarchy where the strong rule the weak. Democracy is seen as vain, idle and inefficient. In the mind of a fascist, all nations are in a constant struggle for dominance and their nation should be run like an army that will go to any lengths to win. Empathy and ethics are an obstacle to loyalty and victory.

-Fascism is based on a fixed hierarchy. Everyone is judged by a fascists by their loyalty and their utility to their (view of the) nation . Foreigners and the disabled are considered the lowest of the low. Women are usually judged based on their ability to reproduce and support the nation. LGBT people are usually seen as a revolt against the gender roles that reproduce the nation. All of these groups will be persecuted and murdered if necessary.

-Fascism requires anti-semitism or something like it. Fascism is based on two ideas that should contradict each other: on the one hand, the nation is superior in every way. On the other hand, the nation is under constant, serious threat from other nations. How can those inferior nations even pose a threat? Because there is at least one insidious, conniving nation that is conspiring to manipulate events. That is the role that anti-semitism plays: a conspiracy theory that allows the nation to feel superior and victimized at the same time.

-Fascism is hypocritical and untrustworthy. This is a consequence of its amorality. Since they are fighting an existential war for dominance, and everyone is conspiring to destroy the nation, no one can be trusted and they feel there should be no moral restraint. Language becomes a weapon fascists use to confuse and demoralize their enemies and reinforce their ideas. Fascists will contradict themselves. They will make stuff up. They will say things that don't make any sense to anyone who cares about human decency, rational discourse or even grammar and syntax.

-Fascism is not trying to convince you with good arguments. They are trying to win a war. They don't need you to agree or join them. They need you to give up. If they can make you lose faith in debate, in society or humanity, they can win. Your apathy is useful to them. This is why debating them is useless: fascism can make its point simply by debating in bad faith. Even if they only speak nonsense and you disprove everything they say, they will continue to speak. They will simply not acknowledge that they've 'lost'. It will not stop them from conspiring to commit genocide or recruit others to their side. In their view, that is winning. By debating them, you are only taking them seriously and giving them a platform.

-Some fascists are true believers: they really believe that they are under attack and that fascism is the only way to survive. Others know it's bullshit and are just manipulating the true believers for power's sake. But there is also a group that doesn't really care either way (and to be honest, I think that most fascists think this way). For them, fascism just affirms their feelings and desires, and they have a subconscious attraction to it and will defend it from rational thought. This is why there are some fascists you will never convince.

[ammeh7]

7KPP Week 2019 - Day 5

A Day of Friendships || A Romance for the Ages

By “a romance for the ages” I of course refer to the game’s One True Pairing of Narrator/Jasper.

This fic probably needed to be at least twice as long as I actually had time to make it, and it’s glaringly obvious that I wrote most of Week 5 Day 4 before a lot of the rest of it, but I figured I’d post the thing anyway and maybe go back and fix it up at some point in the future.

Summary: The narrator wants to vicariously kiss Jasper, but MC has a thing for morally dubious princesses.

Warning: Contains huge spoilers for weeks 4 and 5 of the extended demo

The narrator is some sort of Historian-affiliated spirit thing here, but the specifics are left deliberately ambiguous.

Lady Rosaline was made up for the story, since my Gisette-mancer is immoral and I wanted an ethical one for this fic. She could be any 75-manip-compatible background.

This contains several snippets copied directly from the game; I don’t take credit for those!

You can hear me.

Granted, only when you’re half-asleep, but that’s better than I can do with anyone else.

I can hear you, too—or rather, hear you thinking to yourself—which makes discerning your motivations so much easier.

And you’re special. It’s practically a giant sign over your head, screaming “Stuff! Happen over here!”

Most importantly, Jasper’s your butler.

I’ve decided. You’re the one I’m recording this Summit.

--

Week 1, Day 0

As you drift off to sleep, you contemplate how unbelievably attractive everyone you met at the Welcome Feast was.

It’s a good problem to have, right? And you certainly charmed everyone you met. But as long as we’re discussing unbelievably attractive people: have you seen your butler?

Yes? Okay, good.

--

Week 1, Day 4

“I hope all our encounters can continue being so mutually pleasing, Lady Rosaline.”

A spike of want runs through you. You can’t wait for the next time the two of you meet.

Really? Character assassination does it for you?

--

Week 1, Day 6

More than hijinks, sparring, nature walks, or intellectual debates?

--

Week 1, Day 7

“I think there’s someone who might become special.”

Oh? Really? I hope for your sake they are thinking the same.

It’s Princess Gisette, isn’t it. You have terrible taste. Didn’t you see your gorgeous butler? Or the warrior princess who’s completely besotted with you? The dashing pirate? The thoughtful Revairan lord? Your adorable blushing maid? Did I mention your gorgeous butler? Or pretty much any person besides the one who faked you out with a supposedly private invitation and then tried to manipulate you into slandering an innocent woman?

It could be worse, I suppose. You could have an eye for her brother.

--

Week 2, Day 5

“I think I would regret it if you were to become a ghost in truth.”

She gives you a soulful look, her blue-violet eyes pulling you in, despite not being the true, gorgeous purple you’ve seen on some of the Isle natives. Such as Jasper.

“Not nearly so much as I would!” You smile at her, not even contemplating how much more purple her eyes could be.

Sigh.

--

Week 3, Day 2

Jasper has indisputably won the gift-giving competition, but you’re really fixated on that perfume.

She didn’t even pick it out for you! She picked it out for herself! It was probably just a spare bottle she brought in her luggage!

Yes, it’s expensive, but…

Augh.

--

Week 3, Day 3

Exhausted from herding quarrelsome children at dinner, you drift off to sleep.

There are no assassins around. Nothing noteworthy is going to happen with you for the next seven hours, at least.

Yay!

Across the castle, Jasper is finishing a journal entry, recording dutifully. He’s taken off his jacket and is sitting in his vest, looking enticingly exposed despite not showing an inch more skin than normal. There’s a hint of tiredness around his eyes, but his face is still almost inhumanly perfect.

With a neat flourish, he ends his entry. He pulls off his writing gloves to reveal his long, slender fingers before sprinkling the page with sand to dry it and shaking it off.

He closes the journal, then stands, sticking a finger in his cravat loosen it.

Oh my.

I probably shouldn’t be here. (I might have had to extrapolate the rules of my existence myself, but I’m pretty confident I’m supposed to be watching the actors. And probably not spying on people undressing.)

He removes his cravat and unbuttons his waistcoat, hanging them up neatly. He starts to unbutton his shirt, revealing his pale collarbone, and…I’m being creepy. Sigh.

(See, if you were here, this would be history and not voyeurism!)

I return. You sleep for the next eight hours, rolling over a few times. At one point you scratch your nose.

Absolutely scintillating.

--

Week 3, Day 5

Jasper has been investigating the plot against you, like the darling he is.

You remember an incident you observed last week, with that same type of easily missed servant and Princess Gisette.

…Yes, if that was the story it makes sense. Especially knowing Gisette and her family’s reputation.

“Lady Rosaline, what is it?”

“Nothing, Jasper. It’s nothing. Thank you for your help, and your investigation. I appreciate it.”

You don’t really, though. You can’t truly appreciate what this means for him, how he struggled with this. What devotion.

Somehow, the discovery that Gisette was behind your accident last week doesn’t seem to be putting you off. In fact, I think it’s piqued your interest.

You make no sense.

--

Week 3, Day 7

“I hope you will keep something similar in mind, Princess.”

You continue onto the Matchmaker with a dreamy internal smile, not at all bothered by the fact that she just sent your poor butler on a run-around errand because she decided to procrastinate until the last minute with her love confessions.

Granted, he…apparently procrastinates even more, but despite having just received a regular barrage of clandestine proposals, you fail to recognize his advice for the heartfelt confession that it is.

If you’d just reject it, I could live with that, but how oblivious can you be?

You proceed to lie shamelessly about plans for a political marriage to the Matchmaker. She’s totally onto you, I hope you realize.

--

Week 3, Day 7

Gisette gives you a studying look from across the room. It’s a lot like the look she gave you right after she tried to murder you. Last week.

Are you really sure about this?

You manage to meet her gaze and then give her a significant smile and nod of your own.

Apparently.

--

Week 4, Day 3

You bask in Princess Gisette’s lap, drinking in her condolences about the terrible burden on you this week.

If you would pause a moment to consider the irony, you might remember that you’ve deduced this burden is all her fault in the first place, and also how tragic you found the death of that fellow she murdered, but you apparently haven’t reached that level of self-awareness.

You at least remember that she also tried to murder you, but you’ve apparently decided to let that slide.

Not for the first time, I question your self-preservation instinct.

--

Week 5, Day 2

Jasper wipes your fingers carefully, attempting to gently remove the ink.

When he is satisfied it is clean he stares at your hand for a moment, as if lost in thought. It is only a lapse of a moment though, before he returns to himself and releases your hand from his grip with a start.

“Forgive me, Lady Rosaline.”

“Jasper—”

“I should go. I have other duties to attend to.”

Despite your surprised protests, he hurries off, leaving you alone with your newly finished letter.

“—you really need to get more sleep,” you finish, to the empty air. You read once more over your letter to home, plans already forming in the back of your mind for your return.

Sleep? How could you not see the pining there? The repressed longing? How could you not melt into goo over the yearning devotion in his eyes?

How could you not want to stay?

Your maids help you undress for bed, and you doze off happily, oblivious to the fact that you’re totally doing Katyia’s Legacy wrong.

--

Week 5, Day 4

Jasper sets down your breakfast tray, both he and the breakfast as mouth-watering as always. “Let’s go over your schedule for the day, Lady Rosaline.”

You groan inwardly at the businesslike tone in his voice. Today’s going to be a busy one.

“There’s a rehearsal scheduled this afternoon, for the three hours before dinner. You’ll obviously be expected to attend that. Given that you have a leading role, you may also want to reserve some additional time to go over your lines.”

You perk up at that, looking forward to the opportunity to see Gisette. Perhaps you could even arrange some time alone together under the pretense of practicing your Serah-Vienna scenes.

“You’ve received a last-minute invitation to a tea arranged by one of the delegates from Wellin, Lady Petunia.”

You shake your head. You’ve met Lady Petunia, she’s a dreadful bore. More importantly, she’s not nearly fashionable enough for Gisette to attend her teas.

“You’ve also received an invitation to a group luncheon from Lady Aria of Revaire, as a thank you for the tea you hosted last week. Given your role in the theatrical this week, I believe you can decline without causing offense, should you wish to. Lastly, with the upcoming ball, I believe it would be wise for you to work on your dancing. I would be happy to assist you in that area.”

Lady Aria rarely says anything of substance, but on the other hand, she spends a great deal of time with Princess Gisette.

Do you really want to choose an hour of empty-headed prattle where you may or may not be able to watch Gisette from across the table over dancing with Jasper?

“I’d rather not risk offending Lady Aria. She was a great help to my investigations last week.”

(Yes. Yes, apparently you do.)

“Very well. You should still have some free time after dinner and before the luncheon, which you could spend on dancing, private rehearsal, or something else.”

“I should take some time after the rehearsal to go over the scenes I had trouble with. Perhaps Lord Clarmont or Princess Gisette might even be available this evening to go over some of our scenes.”

Jasper’s eyes widen in alarm, though it does little to disrupt the sheer perfection of his features. “My lady, meeting privately with a man you have not been matched with to rehearse romance scenes would…invite comment.”

You knew that. Etiquette might not be one of your strong suits, but you’re not that oblivious.

“I thought we might be able to find someone to chaperone, but…you’re right, it will be best if I only ask Princess Gisette. I have just as many scenes with her anyway.”

You shrug, as if it doesn’t matter to you one way or the other, pleased to have an excuse for some time alone with Gisette.

“That still leaves this morning. I’m afraid I won’t be available to help you practice your dancing in the hours between now and your luncheon.”

“Perhaps another time. I can practice by myself in the ballroom for today.”

--

You spend some time dancing around in the ballroom. There’s something about this room, because by spending time in it you can feel your natural charisma increasing.

(Perhaps if you practiced with your butler, instead of trying to look alluring for yourself in the mirror, you’d actually manage to improve your grace and not just your personal magnetism.)

--

Gisette is not at the luncheon, which turns out to be a dreadful waste of a couple hours. (Just think, you could have been dancing with Jasper.) By the time the designated hour for the rehearsal rolls around, you are practically tripping over your skirts in your haste to escape.

--

“But Vienna,” you sigh, “how could I possibly trust in his intentions after my most faithful maid saw Lady Matterly leaving his chambers?”

“Sweet girl,” Gisette rests her hand on your back, a waft of sweet perfume teasing your senses. “I know you trust your maid dearly, but you must admit she is…prone to misjudgments. Confront Sir Horus, find his version of the story. He is not a man who would be able to lie under pressure. Not like Prince Armand.”

You turn to face Gisette, clasping her elegant hand between your own. “Oh, but Prince Armand cares for you dearly! I’ve seen the look in his eyes when he watches you across the room. He may be a man who talks all around what he means—not unlike yourself, dear cousin—but I am convinced his affection for you is true.”

“Lady Rosaline!” Lady Avalie is suddenly standing next to the pair of you. “You’re turning your back to the audience.”

Right. You release Gisette’s hand, masking your reluctance to do so. “I don’t think it works for Serah to deliver that line with her back to Vienna. Princess, perhaps if you came around?”

You try a few things, but don’t quite get it right by the time Prince Zarad and Lord Clarmont have finished and it’s time to switch scenes.

“Princess, would you have some time to spare this evening to see if we can get that scene figured out?” You smile apologetically, as if you’re sorry for the bother.

She gives you a coolly assessing look, but you can detect a glimmer of amusement in her eyes. “I had some time planned to review my lines. I suppose we could use it to work on our joint scenes, Lady Rosaline.”

--

After dinner, Gisette knocks on your door, script in hand. “I hope now is a good time to work on our scenes, Lady Rosaline,” she says sweetly, just loud enough to be overheard.

You happily invite her in.

“I admit, Rosaline, I initially found the idea of this theatrical quite a bother, but I’m coming to appreciate its hidden charms,” she says, smiling languidly at you.

You look around for a suitable chair, and land on the one you were sat in yesterday when Jasper so lovingly wiped the ink off your fingers. Without sparing that tender moment a passing thought, you sit and run through your positioning a few times until you have it figured out.

“I confess,” Gisette smiles, “I’m not entirely confident in the scene before the ball, either.”

--

“Oh, Vienna!” you cry, taking Gisette’s hands in both of your own. “I fear I shall never find love!” You clasp your joined hands dramatically to your bosom.

“A lady should hope never to…” Gisette cuts off in the middle of her character’s quip, shaking her head with a smile teasing at her lips. “Really, my dear? I suspect the audience might notice if you have me grope you onstage.”

You grin unabashedly, releasing her hands. “My apologies. I was caught up in the drama of the moment.”

Okay, you’re kind of cute together. When she’s not planning your death.

--

“You did not see the so-called ‘love poem’ he sent me, Serah. It contained the most lurid descriptions of my—”

At this point, Serah’s maid is supposed to burst into the room and interrupt, but it’s just the two of you.

She’s standing where Jasper normally does when he’s going over your schedule in the morning. Your eyes meet, tension simmering between you.

You raise an eyebrow, smirking. “Have you ever gotten a particularly terrible poem from a suitor, Gisette? I received one at seventeen that compared my teeth to his mother’s china.”

She tilts her head in thought, her pale hair catching the candlelight without the ethereal pearly shimmer that Jasper’s hair gets in the same light.

“Nothing so terrible as what was recited at that charming little evening you hosted, but there have been a few gems.” She smirks, takes one of your hands in hers and looks deeply into your eyes. “O lovely moon, I beseech you to shine on me eternally, eclipse me in your violet pits…"

You giggle.

“He was so proud of his work that he recited it in person. On one knee. And his father was too important an ally to offend, so I had to smile through all twenty verses.” She wrinkles her nose. “It was all I could do not to gag. But enough of such odious recollections, my dear. I have a rare moment alone with you.” She strokes her fingers over your wrist, not releasing your hand.

“And what would you like to do with it?” you purr.

“Oh,” she smiles slowly, like a cat basking in the sun, “I have a few ideas.”

She steps closer. Her long, cool fingers stroke along your jaw, and she cups the side of your face, her soft lips closing over yours. She kisses you passionately, releasing your hand to bring her other hand to your waist.

You wrap your arms around her, drawing her as tight as you can without mussing her exquisite coiffure. Your mouths melt into each other, her body feeling almost fragile under your hands.

(I wanted to vicariously kiss Jasper, but… this is nice.)

You finally, reluctantly, release each other, and you blush as you realize that you weren’t entirely successful in your quest to avoid disheveling her hair. You were not emotionally prepared for her to pull your lower lip between her teeth like that.

“Let me…” you grab a hairbrush from your dresser.

She raises an eyebrow, looking herself over in the mirror and giving you a fondly exasperated look before taking a seat on your dressing stool. “I shouldn’t give you a hard time. You’re more of a sight than I am.”

You peer over her shoulder into the mirror to find your hair falling out of its twist, bodice off-kilter, cheeks flushed, and lips red and slightly swollen.

“Whoops.” You adjust your bodice and hastily tuck the wayward strands of hair into place. The rest you’ll just have to wait out. “How do I look, cousin?” you tease, sliding a hand into her pale blonde tresses and catching a lock to smooth with the brush.

“Like perfection itself, my dear.” She doesn’t finish the line, tilting her head back languidly and luxuriating under your touch. Hints of the fragrant oils she uses waft up to you as you stroke the brush through her hair.

Once you’ve brushed every lock into place and then some, and can’t really justify drawing it out any further, you twist the strands she had pinned behind her head back into place and replace her hair clip.

She stands, smiling regretfully. “Our time together is always far too short. Until next time, Rosaline.”

With a parting kiss, she picks up her script and departs, leaving you with the trace of her perfume and lips that still feel warm.

--

Week 7, Day 8

As your ship becomes a speck on the horizon, it feels strange to be idle again. It’s been a long time.

Jasper stands at a window in one of the towers, watching you go, a hint of resigned melancholy in his eyes.

I couldn’t do anything for him. Again.

I know he can’t feel me, not like you could, but I concentrate on all my good feelings, all my esteem, all the love I was hoping you’d be the one to give him for me.

It’s so quick, I might’ve imagined it, but for a moment, a hint of a smile flickers across his face.

I don’t know if anyone like you is going to come around again, but…I can always hope, right?

Jasper turns away from the window, heads back down to help with getting the castle out of the state of disarray that sixty entitled visitors always manage to get it into.

And I?

I wait.

My apologies for how glaringly this fic needed to be twice as long and several times more edited. 

I might go back and flesh it out more once I can write about weeks 6/7!