#like why did i get asks begging me to post my art again only to have to reblog my own art a million times just to get it seen

[laikabu]

re: my thoughts on laios’s sexuality (long post ahead lol)

let me start this post with this. first, this contains a lot of references to the new adventurer’s bible world guide book released last february. i can read japanese, but i’m sure they’re translated somewhere. general spoiler warning in case. also… i am ESL, so sorry for any grammar errors

second, if you’re on the team that insists laios doesn’t care about humans enough to form relationships, either read the manga again or at the very least read this thread.

last, please don’t chime in with your acearo headcanons on this post. there’s already a majority of posts here that insist laios is acearo and that anything else is impossible. i don’t like it the same way i don’t like when someone declares they hc marcille as bisexual to a poster who reads her as lesbian. i already have enough people here who declare he’s ace on my own art. at least people on twitter of all places don’t do this sort of thing to me. nothing in this manga is canon, you can headcanon anything i won’t get mad if you hc him as bi or something. just. don’t be weird on my post.

okay. trust me, i love women, and i love the idea of making my favs women lovers but the idea of laios being gay really appeals to me because of his background. this isn’t fueled by yaoi since i don’t even ship the only m/m relationship i bring up here, i just think it adds a nice layer to his disconnect with his own humanity

i do think laios has a very abstract relationship with his sexuality for a multitude of reasons. he grew up in a very conservative backwater village. he has a hard time recognizing his own feelings towards others just as much as vice versa. i don’t really care for the “laios is a monsterfucker” agenda people are pushing but i do think he’d engage in sexual thoughts in his own weird way, i won’t deny his deviantart fetish shit

as an autistic person myself, i relate to how he’d prioritize his special interest over social interactions. after all, he was fixated on monster food so he’s distracted from dark thoughts. he’s not an actual glutton

he’s shy around women, but i don’t think it’s out of attraction. i just think it’s because he’s awkward and doesn’t want to be seen as a threat. there’s a couple of times when, out of armor, he deliberately tries to make himself look smaller and nonthreatening.

he didn’t show any interest towards ashivia (the hubby hunter girl marcille replaced) and just humored her because she wouldn’t leave him alone. his other party members thought he was giving her special treatment so he had to tell her he “doesnt want to give her special treatment anymore”(even though he never did), so she left

ashivia did her best to butter herself up to laios and he didn’t care, but laios thought shuro was his bestest friend in the whole world because he was too much of a pushover to reject him. ironically… what ashivia did to him parallels what he was doing to shuro

also… yeah sorry i keep bringing up that one comic of laios saying if he were falin he’d marry shuro and then begging him to take him back to his country, or that comic of laios wondering why he doesn’t like him(and then the first two questions he asks the magic mirror was what if he or shuro were women). i don’t even ship them! but it’s not a reach to assume that he likes men because of this, even if it’s kinda played like a joke(after all,a lot of people like chilshi even though their ‘shippy’ interaction was played as a joke)

of course, given the setting, i don’t think knows he’s gay, he wouldn’t have the vocabulary to label himself. i do want to dance around with the idea of him forcibly confronting his own sexuality after years of yaad pressuring him to produce heirs lol. laios might not be cishet but he’s a king so he rdgaf about that right now. i’m open to him having female consorts for political reasons, but i don’t think he’s into women, is all.

before anyone brings up his succubus… god forbid an author makes hetbait. a part of the plot twist was that not-marcille wasn’t the only succubus enticing laios, his other party members were copied too. she was the only one who approached him. also… succubi aren’t always inherently romantic. once it realized marcille didn’t work, it switched to appeal to his desire to be a monster.

[lotusmi]

my success, my failures

honest post about my current life and thoughts on void 💌

Hi angels, this my most personal post and I don't know why, i felt like posting this. This is going to be an honest long post about my loa journey, void journey and whatever how my life went after I realized I was in control.

At first point I would like to recall: I am not a void state blog, I am not a void "master" (I am not assuming this, In 4d I sure AM!). My blog is more about LOA, the Neville Goddard Law, the Edward Art Law. The simple, beautiful Law that I felt in love with. I like the void state method, I have entered it a few times, I'll be talking on this in a while, first I'll tell my story until here on how I left the worst circumstances...

As I was someone like most of people are, I thought I was not the operant power. I have known the law of attraction for 7 years, and I belived I had to "beg" the "universe" to give me things, I would write letters to the "universe" asking for my desires, then I would try to have "good energy", write down million of affirmations in future tense and then wait in hope to be "deserving" of them.

As time passed by, I yes, had manifested some things with this law of attraction thing, but I never changed my state, my mindset, I did not even knew what was those stuff, I would still let myself imagine bad things happening to me, I felt unwanted, ugly, unlucky, with no freedom. I had also lots of limiting beliefs, had to drink water to subs work, listen to then million times, be deserving, be positive, afirm without saying "no/never" etc.

Things were getting worse, I felt always more unwanted, different, unlucky, inferior, all of that. My life was getting shitty, I would imagine me having fights with my parents, me crying, I would see myself as an victim of the world, and I stopped even trying to have optimism and using law of attraction, i literally gave up. At this point I had lost my faith, so I lived all my days complaining and begging God, universe, deities to "save me". In this phase I suffered like never, I was super depressed, my home was toxic and i mean TOXIC. I was anxious, I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to break free.

So at this point I was in the worst months of my life, I was not allowed to even have friends or use internet for more than 7 months straight. The things they did to me... I am even embarassed to tell about those things. I had to decide on persist or give up. So I said to myself I would do my better to ignore my outer-world and stop letting those things affect me, it was not easy. I would hurt myself and have a lot of anxiety crisis, but I found my peace within, I started living in imagination and seeing in my imagination what I most wanted to have, be. I was being delusional, I did not even knew about all of this LOA thing. I just wanted to escape of my reality.

In less than 2 months everything changed. I was more happier, and I was now allowed to do my things again, talk to friends, have my computer and all of this. I did not knew It was me, I thought it was a miracle.

Life went by, I fell in love, my selfconcept was shit, he dumped me. Still, at that time I did not knew about the law. I did not knew he did that because I assumed. I would imagine that he did not loved me, I would imagine him saying "it is over" at the point I would cry imagining, I felt that real, so I manifested. I was the cause. I did not knew.

After all of this I wanted to love myself and take care of me, I started learning about spiritualy, I learned that I am part of God. That I am God experiencing being human. I walked in love, started healing my trauma, I got a lot of it. In a meditation trying to communicate to my "higher self" I entered the void, blue gray, peaceful, beautiful... So still... I there naturally affirmed "I am calm, happy, love, ethereal". After this day everythin changed and I had no more reasons to be sad, I was healed.

But I was still in love with my ex and I only discovered the law because of it, I searched on how to manifest an ex, yea. It did not worked since of I let old story, circumstances, "false free will" let me down. But I discovered the neville subreddit, then the loatumblr, then the void, WHAT WAS, the void. And got to know I had entered it once, I wanted to do it again. I entered more of 3 times maybe until now, and also got some I AM state experiences. (They not the same to me since i feel emptiness from void and wholenesses from I AM + I AM state is golden and I see myself in other people bodies).

I learned about void with Halokisses, but at that point I thought it was some magical place, months passed by, my void concept got better but I still let circumstances bother me. I was not also doing my best to enter it to be honest. I was manifesting my life to be great even while manifesting entering in the void.

♡ What happened by this last months is that I just realized I love my life now, I love myself, my body, my friends, I have time to me, I have enough money to buy my things, I am free to do a lot of things. I never am bothered by circumstances + senses since I am in control of my states. and this made me feel like I don't even need the void altrough I still am going to enter it again, my void concept is beyond perfect right now that I fully know WHO I AM. At this point I am just so saturated about void that I relaxed about WHEN entering again because I am full convicted that I can do this and that I don't "NEED" it.

What I am trying to say is, circumstances does not matter, and you all don't need the void! You all need yourselves. I also want you to know that I AM not a "void master blog" all of that. I am someone who won the circumstances and manifested things, I am someone in love with Neville that want to help people, I am someone that did some subs for helping other people.

I know how it feels to be in a toxic home, feel ugly, be unwanted, have no friends, no money, be depressed, be anxious. I only told you the last 3 years of my life. I know how the void seems to be the only "way" and all of that. I know how it is like to just have someone to say "I am entering it for you" or wonder "When is my time?", I know how is like to think "you are the only exception" I know the void for about 8 months and I did not gave up. I manifested lots of things even while manifesting entering it. ♡ ALL I did was to change the story I was telling myself, the assumptions I held about me. I understood that 3d reflects 4d and so no matter what, everything is possible.

So please, stop begging me to "enter the void" for you or say "I can't do x so do for me". I am doing ALL I NOW can do to help you, I do posts, I reply asks, I make audios, I assume you all can do it. As soon as I enter the void I am of course affirming for you there. But until now I NEED, no, YOU need to save yourself, because even WITHOUT me, you can do this. YOU ARE THE CREATOR.

You don't have to pass by all that I had passed to realize WHO YOU ARE.

♡ My success story is I myself, I saved me. I am not depressed anymore, I am calm, happy, I am free. I never thought I could love myself this way!

₊and as soon I enter the void again, I will post my success, do more challenges, and I am even thinking of entering for it for you.

I hope this had inspired you and cleared things about me and my blog, I hope we all can help ourselves,

with love, Lotus - because I rised from mud. 💌

[friendsoup]

Sick Day with Dikke

Recipe: Dikke x Sick!Reader, fluff, gn!reader, can be read as platonic or romantic! WC: 1k Chef's Note: I just got Dikke, so I thought it'd be nice to write something for her! Not to mention everyone is getting sick around me... It's a simple drabble, not my best work but not my worst by far. I just wanted to actually post something for once. Anyways.... here's a tough girl showing you some affection <3

Today was not your day. You woke up feeling miserable, your entire body aching. You were drenched in sweat, an uncomfortable wetness soaking into your bedsheets. You attempted to pull yourself from bed, only to find such a task to be impossible. You fell back, your head pulsating pain as it hit the pillow, your eyes slowly closing themselves again. You had just managed to fall into an uneasy sleep, when a knocking at your door awoke you. “M’lord?” A stoic voice asked, before giving a few more hearty knocks. A groan escaped you, knowing full well who the person behind the door was. You’d promised Dikke that you’d train with her, and it seems she’d come to take you up on your offer. You didn’t think you could hold a sword like this, nor use any of your arcana, but you couldn’t leave her outside your door like this. You’d worked so hard to get close to her, you’d hate for it all to be for nothing. You crawled out of bed, slowly slumping towards the door. It took you a moment to fiddle with the doorknob, before pushing it open to receive your guest. “Art thou-” Dikke paused, her eyes widening at the sight of you. “Oh my.” She said under her breath, raising a hand to her mouth. “Sorry, I don’t think I can train today.” Your voice cracked, your throat burning with each word. “I’ll just-” “Stay.” She commanded, before turning tail and rushing off. You watched her go, admiring the way she held herself. Dikke always moved with purpose, as if her destination was the most important thing in the world. She held herself with such high confidence, something you could only aspire towards. You’d been trying to make friends with her for a while now, though you weren’t sure it’d been working. She treated you with the same coldness she treated everyone with, barely sparing you a second glance. Not that you blamed her, she was an important person, a hand of justice. And you, well, you were just you. Some low arcanist, barely worth her time. A minute later, you were still standing in the doorway. You didn’t know why you were following her command so closely. Your body was practically begging you to go back to sleep. But when Dikke spoke, you felt inclined to listen. Not wanting to upset or disappoint her. It was just as you were going to turn back into your room that she appeared again, holding a tray of food. You blinked at the display. There was porridge, a glass of warm tea, some toast, and a small flower placed gingerly on the side. “I received assistance from Madam Bunny.” Dikke admitted, before nudging you back. “Thou must return to thy bed. Your body needs rest if it is to regain strength.”  You nod, too tired to argue, and too hungry to reject the help. Bunny Bunny always made such nice meals, who were you to decline something made by her?

You turned back to bed, nearly collapsing on top of the covers. Dikke simply shook her head, placing the tray down on a side table. “M’lord, you’ll be cold if you fall asleep in such a position. Allow me to aid you.”

Softly, she raised the covers over your lap, helping you sit up as she did so. Your eyes fell closed once again as you leaned into her touch, your breathing slowing as a sense of peace fell over you.

“Not yet, M’lord. Thou must eat.” You couldn’t help but hear a twinge of concern in her voice as she spoke, an emotion you were not used to hearing from the ruthless girl.

“Yes, I’ll… I’ll eat.” You told her, fighting back a yawn. Dikke stood once more, picking up the tray and walking it over to you. She placed it on your lap, and right away you began to dig in.

It was heavenly. It warmed your insides, soothing your raspy throat and relaxing your tense muscles. Dikke sat at the edge of the bed as you ate, watching you with great intensity. You’d seen such a look before, it was the focus of a woman in battle, though you couldn’t comprehend why she was showing it here.

“It’s good.” You commented. Dikke made no response. “Bunny made all this?”

“Yea. The moment she heard you were unwell, she leapt into action. She couldn’t stand the thought of an ally being sick.” Dikke said, giving a curt nod.

“And the flower.” You continued, “I’m guessing that’s also from her?”

Dikke’s cheeks went pink, her gaze falling off of you. “Nay. Twas I who placed the flower on your tray.” You watched this change of expression, shocked. You’d never seen her like this before, all delicate and soft. This was a far cry from the woman you’d seen fighting, who slayed foes with such great force.

“Oh.” You muttered, feeling your own cheeks grow hot. “Thank you. It’s nice.”

“You are welcome.” Dikke squeaks, fidgeting with her hands.

The two of you fall silent, save for the sounds of you finishing your breakfast. You catch Dikke glancing at you a few times, though she quickly looks away whenever you notice. She’s far from the confident girl you’re used to, though you don’t understand what could have brought about this change. Could she simply be nervous because you’re sick?

You finish quickly, devouring the remaining bits of toast in a few seconds. Dikke nods, pleased with your appetite. Standing, she picks the tray off your lap, and places it back on the side table.

“Lay down, M’lord. It’s time for you to return to sleep.” Her voice is soft, her eyes looking down at you kindly. You simply nod, shrinking down into your bed, feeling an intense exhaustion pull you under. Dikke takes a step towards you, placing a hand on your cheek. It’s light, but her skin is so cold, it feels like the touch of an angel. You lean into it, and this time, she doesn’t pull away.

“Goodnight, M’lord.” She whispers to you, gently rubbing her thumb over your cheek.

You can barely hear her though, as you fall back into a restful sleep.

[crybabylulu]

Yall remember when I made a post about modern day Lin getting nudes from her girl yeah here’s a smut about that post….idk why I decided to write this. I have fun writing modern day Lin stuff it’s funny and I would love to do a series but idk!

Lin and I have been dating for a couple of months now. It’s really nice! She's so kind and funny but she doesn’t think she’s funny but I do. It’s been a while since she and I had sex so I thought it would be a good idea to rile her up a bit. I went through my lingerie drawer to pick something she’s never seen before. Once I found my outfit I laid it out then went to take a shower so I could shave. I wanted to be soft when she came over. I did my best to be patient as I shaved since I wanted to make sure I got every bit of hair. I know Lin doesn’t care but I care. When I finished I made sure to wash my body then get out.

I put on lotion to make myself baby soft. I fixed up my hair and did a little makeup then put on my outfit. It was a pink baby doll lingerie set that had pink thong panties. I fixed my boobs in the mirror to make sure they looked good for my pictures. I set my phone up and took multiple pictures and did multiple poses. I only liked seven of them but that’s better than nothing. After I finished I took a deep breath and texted Lin.

Me: hiii

Lin: hi sweetheart, are you alright?

Me: yeah I’m fine, are you busy?

Lin: not really just doing paperwork in my office

Me: ok good because I have a surprise for you

Lin: you do?

Me: mhm

I selected the seven pictures I wanted to send to her. I’m so nervous it’s not like I haven’t sent nudes before but things with Lin are just different.

Me: *attachments have been sent*

I closed my phone and ran off to the kitchen to make myself something to eat so I didn’t have to bother with my phone. I can’t imagine what she’s gonna say, we’ve never sent nudes to each other before. I tried to keep myself distracted in the kitchen for a long time but literally only six minutes have passed! When ten minutes had passed I couldn’t help myself. I had to check my phone! I just had to! I picked up my phone and opened it to Lin’s text.

Lin: you look magnificent

Lin: you truly are a work of art

I fell onto my bed and kicked my feet. I can’t believe she said that. My heart fluttered in my chest.

Me: theres more for you if you come over tonight

Lin: I’ll be there please keep the outfit on

Me: anything for you

Lin: good girl I’ll see you at six

Me: see you then

When she called me a good girl I let out a whimper. I can’t wait till she comes over! I need to make my room look presentable! I started cleaning up. Putting things back to where they need to be, vacuuming, and making my bed. When I finished I ate the food I made and tried to figure out what to cook for Lin, or if we should just order from somewhere after sex. I don’t think I’ll be able to cook when she’s done with me so maybe we’ll just get takeout.

Six o’clock came and I heard a knock at my door. I fixed my hair again then checked my makeup. “Everything is fine.” I mumbled to myself then went to answer the door in my lingerie. I opened it up to see my tall older girlfriend. “I’m glad you could make it.” I said as I let her in. I closed the door behind her. “I wouldn’t miss the opportunity of fucking you in your pretty outfit for anything.” Lin said and pushed me up against the door. I let out a gasp. “You’re so beautiful.” Lin said as she pinned my hands above my head. “Please.” I begged. “Please what?” Lin asked. “Please touch me, I’ve been thinking of you all day.” I said.

“I’ve been thinking of you too.” Lin said then started to kiss my neck. “Lin.” I moaned out. She moved her leg in between my thighs and I immediately started to grind on her. Lin let go of my hands and grabbed at my breast. “Fuck.” I sighed out. “You’re so beautiful.” Lin said and pulled down my baby doll dress. I could feel myself getting more wet. “You’re making a mess all over my thigh baby girl.” Lin said. “Please Lin more. Please.” I begged. “Tell me what you want, baby girl.” Lin said. “I need you.” I whined. “You need me to do what?” Lin asked.

“I need your fingers please.” I begged. “Good girl you have manners.” Lin said. She picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. Lin gently laid me down on the bed then put her bag down on the floor. “Take your panties off.” Lin commanded. I did as told and tossed my panties somewhere across my room. I looked over at Lin and she was stripping off her clothes. I bit my lip as I watched her. She's so beautiful. She had some scars that I know she didn’t like but I thought they were beautiful just because she’s beautiful.

“You like what you see?” Lin asked. “I love what I see.” I said. She smirked at me. “You’re absolutely stunning.” I told her. “So are you baby.” Lin said and leaned down to give me a quick kiss. I smiled and she climbed into the bed. She kissed down my body. “Linny.” I moaned. “My perfect girl.” Lin said as she kissed my thighs. “Please Lin, I need you. No more teasing.” I begged. “Since you said please.” Lin said. Her tongue swiped against my folds and I whimpered. She sucked on my clit and I gripped the bed sheets.

Her fingers slipped inside of me and she slowly pumped them in and out. “More daddy more.” I whined. She pumped her fingers faster and my back arched off the bed. “Lin.” I moaned out her name. She scissored her fingers. “Please don’t stop.” I begged her. Lin removed her mouth from my clit and replaced it with her thumb. “You look so pretty with my fingers inside of you.” Lin said. I pulled her down to kiss me. I need more of her. When Lin pulled away and I whined. She rubbed my clit faster and I arched my back. “So good daddy.” I moaned. “You’ve been waiting for this all day?” Lin asked. “Yes daddy.” I moaned.

Lin removed her fingers from my pussy and put them towards my mouth. I sucked them clean while she started to eat me out again. “Mmm!” I moaned around her finger. Her tongue plunged deep into my walls, licking every inch of me. I gripped her hair. “Fuck!” I cried out. My heart was pounding in my chest. She makes me feel so good. My legs started to shake. “Daddy please don’t stop, please!” I begged. She gently pinched my clit. I let out a yelp then orgasmed. I shook some more and she continued to eat me out. “No more daddy please.” I whined and tried to pull away from her.

Lin pulled away. “You can’t take anymore? I brought my strap.” Lin said. “You should have started off with that.” I told her. Lin chuckled. She got up then grabbed her bag and pulled out her strap. I watched as she put on the harness and I let out a whimper. “Be patient, my pretty girl.” Lin said as she tightened the straps. “I want you daddy.” I said and reached out to her. “I know, baby.” Lin replied as she got back into the bed. I kept my legs spread and she kissed my thighs then rubbed her cock on my slit.

“Daddy.” I whined. She slowly pushed inside of me and my eyes fluttered closed. Once she was all the way inside she slowly pulled out then slammed back in and started at a rough pace. “Mmm fuck!” I cried out. Her lips crashed against mine as she fucked me. I gripped her again and moaned against her lips. Lin’s nails dug into my thighs as she fucked me. “You make me feel so good daddy.” I whined. “You take me so well baby girl, I’m so proud of you.” Lin said. I whimpered. “You’re such a good girl for me aren’t you?” Lin asked.

“Yes daddy! I’m a good girl! I’m your good girl daddy.” I moaned. “Yes you are baby, you’re my good girl. My good fucking slut.” Lin growled. My eyes rolled back as she started going harder. The way she squeezed my throat and fucked me had me trembling. I could barely think. “You look so pretty while I fuck you.” Lin said. “Daddy!” I cried out. “Yes baby girl, what is it hm?” Lin asked mockingly. “Please faster.” I choked. “You want faster? Can you handle it?” Lin asked. “Yes daddy please.” I begged.

She started to pound into me faster and I arched my back off the bed. “Daddy I’m gonna cum.” I croaked. Lin let go of my throat and started to rub my clit. “Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock.” Lin growled. “Daddy I’m so close.” I whimpered. She rubbed my clit faster. “Cum for me.” Lin commanded. “Daddy!” I cried out as I orgasmed for the second time that night. “Good girl.” Lin praised as she fucked me through my orgasm. My body shook. “No more daddy please.” I said. She stopped. “You did such a good job, baby girl.” Lin told me.

“Thank you daddy.” I said. Lin slowly pulled out and I let out a soft sigh. “I love you.” I told her. “I love you too.” Lin said and kissed my cheek. I smiled. Lin left the room then came back with some water. “Here baby.” Lin said. “Thank you.” I said as I sat up and took it. Lin took off her strap then went to the bathroom. I drank the water. I heard Lin start the shower. Lin came out of the bathroom. “Come on baby.” Lin said. “Help.” I held out my arms to her. She came over to me and picked me up. We went into the bathroom then got into the shower. Lin put my shower cap on then washed my body.

I helped her wash her body then we got out and she dried me off. Then dressed me. “What do you want to eat?” Lin asked. “Cake.” I said. “Baby girl no.” Lin said. “Why?” I asked. “Because that’s not good food.” Lin said. “I want cake,” I pouted. “No baby girl.” Lin told me as she was drying off. I folded my arms. “Oh don’t you do that.” Lin said. I turned away. “Do you want pizza?” She asked. “Ok.” I said with a big smile on my face. “Good girl.” Lin said.

[fallout-lou-begas]

okay so here's the thing for all of my non-wrestling followers.

if you want to understand why i've been posting so much about CM Punk and MJF and how it's over and we'll never get it again and i can still hear you saying you will never break the chain never break the chain, then. then. you have to understand. here's how to understand. here's the path i took to understanding it myself.

this. this is a very excellent forty-five minute documentary that covers the entirety of the feud between CM Punk and Maxwell Jacob Friedman. it is art. the feud itself is art. it's one of the best things ever done. it's about a very sick, sad, desperate, angry child who grew up to lash out against everything that's ever tried to love him before it could hurt him first, because his childhood hero was the one thing that he could count on but that hero walked out on him--and what happens when he meets that hero again. yes it's extraordinarily psychosexual and homoerotic. of course it is. it's wrestling.

but then. then you have to understand that some time after the events of the feud covered in that documentary, this happened

(MJF appeared to go completely off the rails during a live taping, insulting everything and everybody including his own boss while begging to be fired, before his microphone got cut off, and after this he basically wasn't seen again)

and then some time after that, this happened

(Punk defeated Jon Moxley to become the AEW world champion, only to be immediately confronted by a suddenly returning MJF, who had won the rights to a championship match with a masked identity earlier that night)

and then immediately after that, this happened

(CM Punk, while his tricep was torn from his match, shit-talked multiple people in the company while sitting directly next to his boss during the post-event media scrum, resulting in a legitimate backstage fight and several suspensions for all involved, and after that Punk was stripped of the championship and basically wasn't seen again, but it least it gave us the iconic line "i'm old, i'm hurt, and i'm tired, and i work with fucking children")

and then some time after that, this happened

(MJF became the new AEW world champion by also defeating Jon Moxley, who had become champion again after Punk's suspension and injury)

and then some time after that, this happened

(the premiere of a new weekly wrestling show on Saturdays, AEW Collision, which was created with CM Punk as a centerpiece and premiered with his 'second coming' and an angry, triumphant promo in which he claims he has something in a red bag that is rightfully his: it's not in the video, but as he leaves, he glares into the camera and asks: "what's in the bag, Max?")

and then some time after that, this happened

(Punk reveals that his red bag does indeed contain the "real" world championship, which he claims is his because no one has taken it from him by pinfall or submission)

and as that's all going on, this is happening

(MJF is becoming best friends with Adam Cole, another hero from his past, in a way that is playing out like the most wholesome alternative possible to the sick and twisted fixation he had on Punk, while (suspiciously?) not acknowledging Punk's return actions literally at all)

and so as you can see we were perfectly, and i do mean perfectly positioned, for a second CM Punk and MJF feud in which the roles are reversed, where Punk is the vengeful and obsessive one and MJF is the good guy on the upswing completely oblivious to the other guy's one-sided obsession, or something like that, or anything. and after Punk did two title defenses of his "real" world championship, we just may have been right about to see it. so you have to understand. and once you understand that, then you'll understand what it means to understand that we'll never get it now. that it's actually completely over. that he's gone again. and you will understand why this feels so bad.

fuck!

[gojuo]

omg im that person who sent you an ask like months ago about how I was catelyn and Robb trash before I became aegon and alicent trash. You've been one of the few hotd blogs I can stand because woahh why is this fandom so pleased with mediocre nonsensical work???

Reading your thoughts on each episode was healing because it was like FINALLY, AN INTELLECTUAL, and even though I never fully read the books (yet), the show pissed me off so much (and I have a twin bro who loves it *sigh*)

Anyway, I just discovered that you used to be an aot fan because I stumbled upon an old gifset you made, and YOU'RE AN EREN FAN TOO? Like being a fan of Eren post finale is so bad because all the content creators and meta writers just do not understand my boy. So, this just me fangerling over this lol.

Lastly.....I had a couple friends who only watched the show, but haven't read the manga practically beg me to give jujutsu kaisen a chance. Seeing your blog posts have made me hesitate. Would you recommend? T-T

thank you, and im sleep deprived, so that might explain the atrocious grammar.

OH AND, THAT GRRM BLOG POST. I AM SO GLAD HE SAID SOMETHING. Everyone calling him whiny or unprofessional can stfu. It's his work. His art. I'm glad there are those defending him. Because the nonsense being pulled isn't acceptable.

Omg thank you for the compliments that's literally soooo sweet I really don't think my takes are all that so your words are very flattering, thank you very much 😭🫂 and omg yes I know you sent me an ask and I'm soo sorry I haven't responded yet 😭 I get a lot of asks my inbox is always full plus I'm a workaholic who does a lot of overwork that's why I'm barely online/on hiatus in the first place so asks get buried all the time and I tend to ignore my inbox because I get so overwhelmed it's literally a never-ending cycle I just can't get out of 😭😭 I'll try to answer this weekend but no promises 😓

Oh man don't remind me of those AOT days.... You couldn't even say you understood why Eren did what he did or why there were flaws with Armin's group et al or why there was a point to the Yeagerists without getting hounded ... but to be fair I do think Isayama sorta failed in conveying his messages and themes properly but oh well ... It's done and gone I AM FREE and I will never discuss AOT ever again lmao

About JJK...... man.... it hurts.... It was so good...... until it wasn't 😭 Listen it starts out as a 6 or 7 out of 10 until it grows into a pure 10 out of 10 score for the Hidden Inventory & Shibuya Incident arcs ... and then it falls down a steep cliff right into a, in my generous opinion, 2 out of 10 score 😖 Post-Shibuya is so bad I can't even explain it bc it hurts too much to think about... I used to love this series so much and it turned into... this... It's heartbreaking. I only recommend JJK to you if you're aware that it's not that good and it's mostly carried by its battles rather than its plot or characters. And tbh the community is fun. I've had the time of my life when JJK was at its peak in summer '23 and even if the manga is ending in a few weeks, the anime is still ongoing for a few years at least, so there's that too if you care about that ❤

[glittiris]

This community is severely parasocial. People are commenting on Melanie’s posts begging her to speak out about the allegations and among those comments there’s people claiming to be spiraling and having mental breakdowns over the allegations. That’s concerning and not normal, and I wish the fandom was smarter to understand why having a mental breakdown/spiral over some famous woman’s allegations isn’t normal.

On the other hand, I’m surprised such a large number of fans never knew about the allegations. For me, it’s been impossible to be in fan spaces and on fan pages without seeing comments saying “Felonie Martinez” or asking “didn’t she SA someone?” It’s super surprising they managed to avoid all that and get this far without knowing because it’s literally unavoidable.

Something I keep seeing is people stating the allegations, but then adding on the rumor that she’s difficult to work with. I think that makes y’all look really dumb because who the hell cares that she was difficult to work with when she was 20? Even as a Melanie Martinez fan, the allegations are more important and shouldn’t be lumped in with that dumb shit. That could easily just be an opinion from some bitter associate that didn’t enjoy her work environment and makes the allegations sound the same when put along side it. You just don’t sound very smart putting something dumb, petty and irrelevant beside something serious. It’s like: “She SA’d someone and also her merch quality has gone down.” Huh? What does that have to do with it? That’s so irrelevant.

EDIT: I’m seeing people claim she SA’d a minor which again- spreading misinformation doesn’t help the victim. I don’t get why people don’t understand that. Lies aren’t helpful to Timothy, dummy.

People are also saying she draws CP which is simply just not true. I saw a post here on tumblr of someone saying that and not even showing the art, and I’m suspicious of that because wouldn’t you want to show people the “terrible” art Melanie drew?

The first one is a self-portrait and the second isn’t even inappropriate. It was so easy to find these photos and debunk this rumor for myself. If you want people to take the allegations seriously, you need to focus on getting the facts out rather than tacking bullshit onto it. I understand that two issues can exist at once, but these are all non-issues that aren’t helpful to Timothy.

Finally, only Melanie and Timothy know what happened in 2017 and it’s not our situation to get involved in. This goes back to the fandom being severely parasocial. I don’t think Melanie is going to speak on the issue and that’s ok because it’s not our situation. When did we become so entitled? You don’t know either of these women and all these allegations should mean to you is deciding whether or not to support anymore.

I don’t like Melanie as a person because I don’t know her. She makes art I enjoy and that’s all I’ve invested my emotions & love into. Stop enmeshing yourself with celebrities and using them as a crutch for your mental illnesses. You like her art, not her. Telling her through comments that you’re spiraling and having a mental breakdown over her situation is sick. I don’t care if you believe the allegations are true, y’all are freaks for that and two things can be true at once. Go outside.

[silverjirachi]

I cannot express to you enough how much like. Even though I know I am a pretty recognized and respected writer in the little corners of my communities, every single day I ask myself “Wow, are people still really reading this?” and get the same giddy excitement when someone engages with my posts or reaches out to me with comments or art as I did the first time it ever happened. And I think a lot of your favorite online artists are like this. Especially here on tumblr, we are not influencers. We are people who make art who want to share it with you. We are geeky and annoying fans of the thing just like you, and we feel just as shy and awkward reaching out to our own faves. There are still artists on here I actively have not commented on posts of or spoken to because I’m shy and worried they will think I’m annoying and won’t have time for me.

I don’t know why, but for some reason talent gets equated with no time. It gets equated with a lack of friendliness or willingness to talk to others. It gets equated with better things to do and a need to be left alone away from the masses so they can produce More Masterpieces™ without disruption from their fans. I have no idea why this phenomenon occurs, but I see it again and again on the internet and also in real life. Maybe it has something to do with the culture we have fostered around celebrities and fame? I’m unsure. But I definitely feel it when I shyly reach out to artists I admire and have been on the other end of it myself.

I guess what I’m trying to say is like. Not only are artists just people, they are also very likely shy people, just like how you might feel talking to them. And every time writers and artists beg you to leave comments or reblog art it’s because we’re shy too. We’re nervous people aren’t listening. And even if the artist has conquered that hurdle and is pretty sure of themselves every time they post, I think you still probably make their day when you reblog or comment.

I don’t know. It’s weird. I haven’t exactly parsed it all out in my mind but it’s something I think about every time I post and write.

[beevean]

me constantly going in the CV tag despite knowing that it's 10% nice game fanart, 40% gifs of the show, and 50% some absolute braindamaging takes, is taking a toll on me

because after blocking the nth post admiring Lenore for playing Hector like a fiddle/saying Hector deserved to be enslaved for his original plan of culling mankind (nvm that babyboy Isaac was far more evil about it and he never got punished for wanting to "purify" the world)...

... I really want to think about Lenore and how I'd make her work with the crumbs that the show gave me lol

Lenore is obviously meant to be a parallel to Hector. Both of them are the animal lovers of their group, and mocked for it. Both of them are the "nice" ones in a group where cruelty reigns. Both of them are the least respected of their group - Dracula and Isaac shitting on Hector vs. Striga and Morana not even thinking about Lenore when they peace out. Both of them got used then discarded - yes, even Lenore, who became useless after enslaving Hector. Both of them are actually more of a threat than they look (allegedly, in Hector's case, but I can tell the intention was there).

Then there's the way they contrast. Lenore is a vampire who still clings on vestiges of humanity: she likes to eat food ("why live forever, if you're not going to live well?"), she rejects brute violence (again, allegedly) in favor of the more human art of diplomacy, she's compassionate about lesser creatures (humans included), and she's horrified at the realization that she is, deep down, nothing more than a greedy beast destined to crave more and more. Hector is a human alienated by humanity, who thinks culling is the kindest option, relates more to animals than his own species, and seems fascinated by the nature of vampires.

Imagine if the two actually bonded over this, and betrayed their "factions" because finally they found someone who respects them. And I mean organically bonded. On screen. With dialogue. Without the gross BDSM petplay. That part 100% has to go, it adds nothing, it's humiliation for humiliation's sake, it ruins Lenore's character, and it's just masturbation fuel.

I'd also change the scene where Lenore beats Hector. In my idea, Lenore flees from Hector's clutches, and then doesn't visit him again... for a week... and leaves him without food and water. By the time she comes back, Hector is desperate and is not above begging for some water, but she doesn't want to come close. "Are you going to hurt me again? :< you hurt me the last time :< you're so scary :< I did nothing to you and you tried to kill me :< I'm afraid that you'll do it again :<"

Basically, treating Hector like a rabid dog until he genuinely apologizes, and not only he learns the lesson that he shouldn't attack the only vampire who visits him, but he feels actually guilty and a terrible person about it. Made worse by how sensitive Hector probably is about all of this, as a love-starved abused child.

You know, manipulation, not just a brute display of strength to admire how stronk the girlboss is.

I don't know how their relationship would go from here, though. I only know that I'm more than happy with Lenore sunning herself: it is thematically coherent for her, her refusal to become like Carmilla, her guilt for hurting Hector, and if the two actually cared for each other, her choice to look at the only man who treated her with respect rather than the sun would be lovely.

Needless to say, we can only get here if she organically grows fond of him and doesn't rape him :^) but if she does, if she's really so cruel to hurt a man at his most vulnerable just to do what her sisters asked of her, then the story should treat her as such - and I'd also love to see Hector just snap, because by this point he's sick and tired of being seen as an object. Give him his big moment of taking down both vampires who hurt him. (in my vision not only he smashes Lenore's skull with his hammer, but he also takes a swing at Isaac - not killing him, just hurting him a little. please)

But I'd rather avoid that. I would like both characters to have agency - not even falling in love with each other, I don't care about that (they'd never be a cute couple anyway, not when she starts out as his jailer), just have a more interesting relationship built on two kindred spirits finding each other, but driven apart by their roles and nature. The vampire chooses death, the human grows and thrives.

There is sadly not going around the fact that Hector fell for two vampires (three if you count Dracula, but I can forgive that one) who employed the same strategy. I don't like the way Carmilla uses Hector either, but I can't be bothered to fix her rn.

[hairdestroyer]

TW: Grooming, mentions of NSFW content, mentions of s/h & sV!c!de

The tags are the fandoms he’s most active in so please be cautious, everyone

Okay, I was initially planning on waiting until I had taken screenshots of my own to talk about this, but I then realized I can make a separate post, this is serious and has gone on long enough so it’s time I mentioned it. However, before I do, this is not some big creator, I realize that, but they are a /very/ active user and though I only have screenshots from one victim and soon my own screenshots, there are at least five, possibly six, more that I know of, but I am no longer in contact with most of those people and I don’t want to go asking people to unblock someone like this. If they want to come out about this, that’s their choice, not mine. And, yes, you read that right. Five others.

This post is about @Mauroisthattired on Pinterest or @joshuakidd on here.

Because I know you’ll see this, hi, Josh, don’t even think about sending people my age and younger to beg me to take this down and forgive you again, you did these things, you are aware you did these things, now here are the consequences. And because I know you will, don’t you DARE hang your life over my or my friend’s head for this either, you have done that 100 times already and I do not have the energy to deal with it anymore. I may not have a big platform, but if you have publicly interacted with this person or know someone who has, please listen.

First, Joshua is not almost eighteen, he turned eighteen in March. I never wanted to mention my age on here, but it’s not like I’m posting p0/n so idc anymore, I kind of have to:

In late September, after I had newly turned fourteen, is when Josh reached out to me on my rp account on Pinterest, I hadn’t been active on there in awhile but I thought “what the heck, I need someone to talk to” so I agreed to role play with them. Josh was 17 at the time. Obviously, it was idiotic to have a rp account in the first place, but I’m aware of all the things I’ve done wrong so I won’t be focusing on that, that’s not why you’re reading this. I had admitted to him that I wasn’t online a lot so I sent him my main account, and god do I regret it.

It only took a few weeks for Josh to start overstepped boundaries, I had acknowledged that s/h is deeply upsetting to me so we wouldn’t get it involved in role plays, but he did. Not only that, but he would vent a lot and that would always end with me having to convince him not to harm himself. I will say, he was unaware of my age when this first started happening, but that isn’t that important because he didn’t give a shit. Very quickly it turned into I couldn’t not reply for a certain amount of time or else I would get berated by Josh or he would threaten to hurt himself. He’d always claim it was because I left him on seen even if I hadn’t been there to open the message in question at all. Whenever someone blocked him, he’d send their account to me in a “you know what to do” fashion, I never asked people to unblock him, but sometimes I’d block or unfollow them because I was afraid he’d check and go ballistic if I hadn’t.

At a certain point, he started begging me to add him to a group chat with my friends, always because he “needed more friends,” I never did because it didn’t work, but that didn’t stop him from reaching out. He’d spammed one of my friend’s comment sections asking them to chat with him until they gave in. Once they had he’d vent to them nonstop, send them NSFW art (never his), and once pressured him to send him pictures of his face despite his wishes. This friend is younger than me and was 13 at the time.

After he had ‘befriended’ my close friend, Jay, is when he got brave enough to start sending me NSFW, he would send me it to make fun of or just mid conversation without saying anything else. He never did straight up smut role plays, but he’d convince me to do suggestive ones where the s*x scene was always skipped (but still held the before all the way up until getting fully undressed and the direct after, not even the next morning), because he “refused to do suggestive role plays with anyone under eighteen” I never questioned it. At one point Josh threatened to end our friendship when I was disturbed that he was going to have a character attempt so it scared me out of asking not to do a certain scene, but ofc, he could tell me to stop because something was upsetting him whenever he wanted

Eventually there was the incident, my friend and I were taking a break from Josh and he didn’t respect it so I blocked Josh for the first time, while Jay was too scared to. Josh went mental. He screamed at my friend until I unblocked him to defuse things and had to explain to him what he was doing wrong, at the time the NSFW being weird hadn’t crossed my mind so I didn’t bring it up. He apologized, I tried to get him to understand, understand what he’d done wrong but the apology of “it’ll never happen again” was all I got either way. Around this time is when I had admitted my age, a few weeks or a month prior I had meltdown about how I was too young for this while Josh was venting to me, of course, that meant nothing to him.

[These screenshots do not belong to me, they belong to my best friend, Jay, like I stated. There are more examples, months upon months upon months of examples, but he didn’t want to relive any more than this and I do not blame him for that. He doesn’t go by either of these names anymore] Jay mentioned that he had gotten uneasy during their conversation about MLP, that’s why it was added

These screenshots are from /after/ everything had gone down. Eventually, my friend had enough, especially after being so shaken by the situation, so a few weeks after Josh’s 18th birthday he blocked him. I successfully comforted Josh after that and things went back to the “normal” of before. However, whenever Joshua wanted to vent he would try to manipulate me into letting him by saying things along the lines of “oh, but someone my age shouldn’t be venting to fourteen year olds” and he’d manipulate the situation so instead of him sending me NSFW out of nowhere I’d be asking him to because he “found something.”

I think Jay’s words of “he talked to me like I was a fucking dog” sum everything up. He did more bullshit, but this is long enough and I still need to make a post with my own screenshots.

If you took the time to read this, thank you, I just want people to know how abusive this person is towards everyone, including people his age.

When I finally blocked him for good it was because I realized he shouldn’t have been sending me literal NSFW, it took he about a week after with the Colleen Ballinger situation to realize what he was actually doing so I’ve been planning to make this post for awhile and realized that I’ll never truly be ready so I need to just do it.

Once again, hi, Josh, you took 50 years off my life. Congrats.

I realized early on how abusive things were, but I thought that being someone’s therapist was all I’m good for so I never brought it up. Funny. Expect a lot of vent art in the future along with screenshots of what he’d said to me, I lost an entire school year to this fucker and this post was just me recalling the basic outline of what happened

[thatonepikminperson]

Alright, I'm revamping this intro post, let's god damn go baby

Hi welcome to this blog, it's gonna be Pikmin focused because why not. The posts will range from art to text posts to posts about the game because I can. hehe haha.

I have two other blogs, btw

@thatonepikminperson: HEY THAT'S THIS BLOG WHAT? A blog about and for Pikmin. Just Pikmin. ONLY PIKMIN

@thatonepikminpersonsreblogblog: A blog for reblogging stuff.

@pikminpersonslifeupdates: A blog for life updates ft. ME! Watch me complain about stuff and talk about random things, here!

Some tags you might like here are

#pikmin : All Pikmin things are in this tag

#mixed wraith au : Yes I have one of those, which is just fun side project

#ao3 / #fanfic : Oh yeah, and I'm a writer. I'm the author of Between the Ground and the Stars series, along with Over and Over again, until SOMETHING Breaks. If you want to check them out, these two tags will take you there. (Account name is the same as this blogs name)

#art : A tag for art lets go baby

#pikmin 4 : I mainly do Pikmin 4 art, and posts, be aware

#ask : Just in case I get an ask, it will be tagged with this. Yippee, interaction with people!

#reblog : If I do reblogs on this account (which is rare) then they will have this tag!

#clip : For any videos that I have

#gaming : for well, gaming related posts

#Again and Again Until Someone Changes / AAUSC : Yeah so I have a comic based off of my Over and Over Until SOMETHING Breaks fic, where it's just stuff that 100% happened before the breaking of the time loop.

#birthday posts : Any time it’s September 7th, this shall get some new posts

Uh, other things about me:

I'm very not serious, if you can't tell

I don't like to be called my name on the internet, it's just a bit too weird for me, so you can call me PikminPerson, or something like that. Also She/her.

I am dogshit at English. It's my first language, but I'm still dogshit at it. Please excuse any spelling errors, I suck at writing words sometimes and don't notice.

I do have a reddit account (That I'd like to not share), but I just want all of the crazy people of Pikmin know, I have witnessed the war crimes that happen on the Pikmin sub reddit. I have been here since I believe a while before the Whiptongue Bulborb war (The first one). I wasn't there for the birth of the we are farmers image, but I did watch One Winged Pikmin be born into this world. Along with Fiddlebert. And Twerking Olimar at Times New Square. Hot damn I love this community sometimes

You can ask me things about Pikmin, or other series that I like,

Which are Splatoon, Hollow Knight, Tomodachi Life, Slime Rancher, Hatsune Miku Project Diva, Hatsune Miku Colorful Stage, and Deltarune (There's more that I'm forgetting, but these are the big ones)

Favorite game is probably 4, 3 is a close one tho (My order from fav to least fav: Pikmin 4, Pikmin 3/Pikmin 3 Deluxe, Pikmin 1, Pikmin 2, Pikmin Bloom (if that counts lol), That One Nintendo Land Pikmin Game, and Hey, Pikmin!) (2 isn't a bad game, it's just not my cup of tea. The music slaps tho)

Yes I have played Hey, Pikmin! and while it's not a good Pikmin game, it's a pretty decent game (You get me? Like, it's a decent game with a pretty good concept, the formula just doesn't work in the Pikmin series.)

I have cried when playing every Pikmin game, some when I was a child. I did cry at both the Pikmin 3, and Pikmin 4 credits. Shut up, it was wonderful dude

I still almost tear up at the Pikmin 3 credits. Dude that shit is sad for some reason idk why

I also did cry at the trailer for Pikmin 3 Deluxe and both of Pikmin 4's. I love this series if you can't tell.

My favorite type is Yellow, if you can't tell

And finally, I have beaten Pikmin 3 so many times on the Wii U, I got so bored that I did a 1 type of fruit a day challenge. I did it. I lived. It was funny as hell. I have made that game beg for mercy and the Plasm Wraith has become my play thing. (I love 3 so much lmao)

Anyway, enjoy your stay at the insanity inn, mints are on the left.

[hellfire--cult]

I have a ton of posts saved to read later that I dont reblog yet BECAUSE: I've seen people mistag, I've seen people not disclose things on purpose, and there was that whole scandal last year about the underage thing that wasn't appropriately tagged and a ton of people who liked or reblogged to read later also got under fire

I reblog once I read, I cant say everyone else does. But you do have to realize one thing, AO3 you can't necessarily reblog. You can bookmark and pin and like and comment, and if by chance there is a way to reblog then im dumb and completely missed it. I was one of the people who had an AO3 first and then came to Tumblr and didn't know at first to reblog.

There are some people who want interaction who have less then 50 notes just begging for love, and people keep complaining that their first that have THOUSANDS aren't being shared. I get that it sucks! But also, you are having interaction. I still know people who like fics to read later and won't reblog until after they read it.

Also, I have mutuals who will like their friends fics but not reblog if it has one of the things they don't like. For example, my friend doesn't like daddy kink and another mutual always writes it, so they'll like the fic but not share and that has been discussed

It is discouraging to me to see people say they want to put things behind a pay wall, there are sites for that that you can legitimately do that. But fanfiction is art and it should be shared, and I understand it hurts when people don't reblog, but there are many different reasons people don't as some are listed here.

It makes it discouraging to even interact with people and not even read things at all anymore. I started out not knowing, and then got blocked by a blog because I at the time had only liked things because I didn't know reblogging was what people wanted on here. Is it not all interaction? Is it not all love and gratitude being shown? Since when did we weigh the merit of one thing over another?

We joke that Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm but it does! I see stuff recommended my mutuals like but haven't reblogged. And I see stuff that gets a ton of interaction.

Maybe I'm wrong, and I would love an explanation as to why people want things reblogged (again coming from other sites where you couldn't, not just AO3). I genuinely don't understand and this isn't any hate towards you I have reblogged your fics before and love how you write, I just don't get it?

I understand it might sound whiny to some, and I understand AO3, but it can also help when someone bookmarks it and it ends in their profile, for mutuals to see it as well.

Wattpad may not have a reblog button, but saving the story and commenting in it, helps the story go up in the tag, appear before than other works thanks to the engagement, and also, when you save a story in a public reading list, mutuals can also see it.

Tumblr does have the possibility to reblog your work, and the engagement on here with OTHER people is also easier. Not only by comments, but by asks like this, or responding through the comments or the reblogs themselves. It's more personal and real.

It is also a site where it can ENCOURAGE the writers to keep doing it. This is a site where we can actively support someone, unlike other sites.

We write cause we want to, that is true, but even myself when i wasn't on here, and only used wattpad and AO3, it also discouraged me to not have votes or kudos, or subscriptions on the works.

This hurts more because i can see the activity of people. We can see it. And it is discouraging in a way of also wondering if our writing is bad, or if it was too much, or too little.

And like you said, tumblr has an algorithm, but that algorithm can break if people reblog. It just helps the work we put into, to be shared around because we love it, we wrote it, and we spent time with it and it's like an artist with a finished painting, putting their artwork in a gallery, and everyone just passes by.

That's how it basically feels. We always try to look past it, to say 'oh, it doesn't matter' but sadly, it does.

[findmeinthefallair]

Ok, I was told about this.

emerald-entrails-hunter,

I'm gonna show a total of four screenshots in this post, and I don't wanna force what people think of me or twist any narratives. You readers can decide 😔 It would be good though, if readers have a look at both her post and this one that I have written. Before deciding what kind of person I am.

After the first boundary you put up in September, I still sent you an absolutely insensitive ask shortly after you ended things on Discord, and I wrote a physical letter to send to you. In both, not only I did not give a proper apology, but I violated your boundary of "Do not contact me again". In no way am I justifying what I did but, I was desperate to try and get us to reconcile, even if it was executed so poorly. And re: the matter that even led up to the end of our friendship to begin with.....I was cowardly. I am so sorry for my hurtful behaviour in that situation too. For all this, I am truly sorry. 😔

And I know that people have varying opinions about vagueposting. But like, if people see my vagueposts, wasn't that a conscious choice they made to seek out my vagueposts, policing what I put up?

Look. Even putting up this post, is terrifying to me. But to quote you, I to a degree also need to stand up for myself here, or else I'm going to spiral badly just before a vacation that's in 5 days. I am not like your abuser. It has taken me many months to even begin loving myself again after what happened. 😔

There was absolutely no way that I was going to show up outside your door at all.

I am definitely not that person. I put in my vagueposts that any reminders of rural Japan would be triggering e.g. even imagining tatami flooring in my head would make me gag, so why would I spend a huge chunk of $ to even go there now, in the first place (far more so now, since I'm in remission for cancer)? That would make me feel sicker to my stomach than the set of multiple triggers I already had. One of my posts also speaks about me cancelling a hotel booking. Which means I was NOT going to go to Japan to find you.

Proof from my email inbox:

And I would have done this much earlier. But I got diagnosed with cancer.

So, I suspect that you and your group have deliberately not factored in info like that in your callout. Because you really want to push a certain narrative here. If you have been monitoring me, you would have seen that info. But you do not appear to have incorporated said info into how you are viewing this whole thing.

This group has assumed that my motive was about inserting messages and about reaching out to connect, when instead I was just processing my feelings. Is there not a difference between those? I feel that this group has created their own definitions for things.

This group has actively chosen to peek at a blog they don't want to follow (mine), like hate-watching something to feel righteous, and then got ticked off - idk about internet culture differences, but you could have chosen not to look? Esp after I said I cancelled my hotel booking? AND even when I did not speak ill of you at all in my posts, it still wasn't good enough for your group's set of rules. This feels like any phrase I type is going to be seen by them as "*hisssssss* she broke our rules!!", so I have a very bad feeling about continuing.

Whether you believe me or not, I already felt so so awful and guilty upon sending off the letter. And, seeing your art in my suggestions sidebars was not something I sought out. I didn't want to see your art. But the previews of your art still made their way past Tumblr's blocking and filtering system, and they would trigger me. This means I would definitely, absolutely, never want to show up begging you for anything, or write you anymore letters, after the wrongdoings from last year that are going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I would not dare to at all, because the guilt is still eating into me every day 😔😔😔

How ashamed do you think I feel now, now that I have learnt that what I did caused you to move apartments? And I do not want to say this in any manipulative manner at all. I say it from a place of utter sadness and shame.

And importantly, you sent me these from a new sideblog you created, back in February when you heard about my cancer:

In your callout post, you say there was absolutely no misunderstanding that went down between us. But in your February ask, you said "a grand misunderstanding".

If you've changed your mind, then ok, it's perfectly valid. But it really sounds like two completely different people who sent me this long ask in Feb, versus the callout post from 12 or so hours ago.

You said, "You don't care about how you've made me feel". But if I carry this much guilt, every single day, doesn't that mean that I care about how I have made you feel?

Or, are you wanting me to care about how you feel, in a very very specific way? I'm not you, and at this point I really don't think I can be.

You saying "this happened last flipping September" and "we only knew each other for 2-3 months tops"...means you have given my grief a timeline and deadline. I will really, really have to disagree about this. You may not understand it, but this is one area that I definitely can't change my mind about.

Grief is as unique as fingerprints are, and my grief has stretched on for 9.5 months now because the 2-3 good months we had? They mattered. They. Mattered. That. Much. To. Me. Those short months were real. It's not that I was scheming with some long-term plan, to be power-hungry or hungry for control in the friendship.

I still loved you all this time and mourned deeply, though now that you've put up that post, I'm really not so sure anymore.

You have every right to feel frustrated that I'm still mourning after almost 10 months. But if you are trying to say here that I must grieve in a way that you want, I'm very sorry but I really can't. Reading your callout post, I also do not feel like you have acknowledged the heavy guilt I have been carrying, which I am not lying about. I am acknowledging your pain, even if you cannot trust that I am, but don't see that you have acknowledged mine in the callout post.

Why couldn't you use a more balanced statement e.g. "I understand you are guilty, but your vagueposting makes me extremely paranoid and uncomfortable"?

Instead, you are saying "You don't care about how you've made me feel".

I am very very sorry, and could not be more sorry, for all the hurt I have caused you. This is the theme of the ask that I wanted to send to you this coming Monday, to that same sideblog of yours. But I won't send it anymore because you don't want that. You acknowledged in the February ask you sent, that you hurt me as well. But I fully acknowledge that I was the one started it: this is true.

In your callout post, you said "now you're trying to [break my trust] again soon?" Well, in your February ask to me, you said I could rehash what happened in September with you if I wanted. And I was prepping to do that this coming Monday, though I won't anymore.

I feel that your callout is presumptuous, filtered through your lens without checking with me first. Though at the same time: I fully understand why you wouldn't want to trust anymore, even if I'm telling the truth. I acknowledge this fully.

You have pointed out via DM that you are prone to all-or-nothing thinking and you KNOW it can be unhealthy:

And I believe this is what was in play again here, with what has happened.

I'm just. I am really, truly sorry. 😔😔😔 Now I feel that I'm gonna have to 100% block from my side as well, so that I don't start having serious symptoms, because the ring of "You have no right to X/Y/Z" in your callout post, and how you're implying to me how to navigate my grief...this has changed the impression I now have of you too, after almost 10 months 😔 So, this is goodbye.

I am truly sorry. I don't want to hide anything on here

-------------

Here's my conclusion:

- They filled in a massive gap with what they think my motives were, to push a particular narrative to suit a specific agenda, to make them feel a certain way that they wanted.

- E.g. being rather sure that I was gonna spend a huge chunk of $ to go and fly somewhere and, still talk to a person that I fell out with? That would be a really huge waste of $, time and sanity. But hey, they already spun a story to put out there.

- They also left this out on purpose: I spoke about the nausea I'd feel when I images of tatami flooring and anything Japan would appear in my mind. So...imagine how unpleasant it would be for me to even look at the real scenery and locations. So why would I take a huge chunk of $ out of my savings, to go somewhere and make myself feel worse than I already have felt about the imagery in my head whenever it pops up in my head? - The ask sent to me in Feb allowed me to rehash the fallout again. And when I wanna do the rehashing, I then get slammed for it. Uh? I could not read your mind that you had changed your decision: the change in decision was NOT communicated to me in private first. Then waywardsunlight, her friend and attack dog, shrieks at me asking why I put up screenshots of the February ask. If she put my username out publicly, and then demands that I don't put up that ask (which acts as proof) publicly.....what does this therefore imply? That this group doesn't want me putting out context that they wanna make sure they leave out? Feels like a double standard to me.

- Importantly, she has conveniently said "Well, how was I supposed to know all that?!?!" only AFTER she put out this story that she wanted to tell.

I am repulsed. Thank god

[crescentcampbell]

One

Alina Starkov

"Did you apply to this for me?" Alina held up the scholarship letter she'd gotten that afternoon. He was tall, with blue eyes, with a kind of affable charm that made everyone like him from girls, to grandmas, to crotchety uncles. The two of them had grown up at Ana Kuya's orphanage together, before eventually being shipped off to a boarding school thanks to some orphan's fund in Ravka.

They were graduating in a month. Mal had decided to enlist, even though Alina had begged and pleaded with him not to. He thought it was the only way he could get into college. Since then, he'd been bugging her about her future. Alina had no grand plans for herself beyond being able to own her own flat, and put food on the table.

It was hard to think of dreams when you were only trying to survive.

"Dear Miss Starkov,

We're pleased to inform you that you've been accepted to Royal Ravka University…" Mal paused, and let out a whoop before hugging her tightly. "Lina, that's amazing! No, I didn't. Maybe one of your teachers?"

Alina shook her head then took the letter back from him. "No, I haven't said anything about college to anyone. It's odd…it's something to do about studying mythology. Apparently, they saw my art portfolio and liked it."

Mal raised an eyebrow. "You're sketches of those old, Ravkaan myths? The sea whip and the firebird and what was the other one?"

"The Stag," Alina replied. "It's weird. It says I've got a full-ride scholarship to study them, and…it's from The Morozova Foundation. That's why I thought maybe you had something to do with it."

Mal stiffened. Mal had come to the orphanage when he was five, delivered by his mother. She had had the same brown hair and blue eyes as him. The same kind of good looks that made everyone fall in love instantly. Or, maybe she would have, once upon a time. But when Alina saw her bring Mal to the orphanage, she had been sickly, and had had a haunted look in her eyes.

Alina had remembered watching her in the hallway through the crack in the door of Ana Kuya's office. "…I can't escape his father as long as I've got him, and he won't escape being with his father…he's….he's powerful…" she had said.

"Can I ask…"

"I can't say. But…I was a secretary at The Morozova Foundation. I'm sure you've heard the stories."

Ana Kuya flinched. "Yes. I've heard the stories. Of course, we'll take him."

Mal's mother had kissed him on the head, then left the orphanage as if she thought she were being chased by creatures from the shadowlands the Ravkaan Saint of Death took people to. Since then, it had been Alina, and Mal. But there were noticeable differences.

Mal was allowed to go into the city for trips once a year. He had birthdays. His clothes were the finest of everything. Although whenever he got packages, for something like Winter Solstice, or he tossed them into the trash without a word. Alina knew, in her bones, it had something to do with the Morozova's.

They were a powerful family. She saw their pictures often online, or in the magazines at the check stand, or The Ravkaan Times. The resemblance was uncanny between Mal and the Morozova men. Particularly to the Morozova heir, Aleksander. The same sharp features. The same, charming smile.

But the blue eyes were his mothers. All of the Morozova men had eyes the color of grey smoke. The smoke that came with the shadow creatures that took you to your death. Alina remembered seeing them as a child. They'd come for her mother, and her father, and that was how she wound up at the orphanage. They'd lived on the border of Ravka, near the Shu Han. They'd both been stationed there, soldiers.

It had been an easy post. It meant they didn't have to move anywhere. But the shadow creatures…the Volcra…legend had it that was where the entrance to the Saints world was. That they guarded it. So, they were strongest there. Alina vowed she'd never see a Volcra again. They only came, after all, if you had blood on your hands. Any soldier would see them.

So, Alina would never be a soldier.

"You know I don't talk to my family," Mal said, "and I don't ask anything from them, either. Not after what they did to my mother…they left her to die."

"Okay. But I thought I needed to show you. I didn't feel comfortable just taking it, because I don't know why it's been given to me."

Mal sighed. "Honestly, if you were enlisting with me, I'd tell you to say fuck them. But I don't want you ending up on the street. Even if it means taking their hush money."

Alina laughed. "Hush money? What am I hushing about?"

"Me, I suspect," Mal said with a cheeky grin, "you know too much, Starkova. Look, if you want to take it, I won't stop you. Just, be careful. Once you take money from a Morozova, it's like them taking your soul."

Alina laughed. "I think I lost that a long time ago somewhere in between my parents dying and the whole being a poor orphan thing."

"Oh please," he said, "the world could be at it's worst, Lina, and you'd still radiate pure sunshine."

Alina beamed. "I suppose there are worse things to be known for."

"So, you're going to take it?"

She stared at the letter. "I don't know. I mean, I applied for a few other art scholarships and I'm on the waiting lists. I never really saw myself studying mythology. I feel like I'm taking it from someone that might actually want it."

Mal snorted. "Trust me, you aren't. The mythology department is kept alive by the foundation. My great, great, uncle or something started it. He thought all of those myths were the key to a better future for Ravka."

"You don't believe in them?" Alina said. "Why's that so far-fetched? We've got a Saint living in the palace as an advisor to the King, Volcra that steal people away when they die, and we visited the Grisha palace every year at school. You know, those people with magical powers that died out because our government used them as soldiers."

"Trust me, Alina, they didn't die out. They just got smarter at hiding."

She tilted her head to the side. "But you draw the line at magical creatures?"

Mal laughed. "There's got to be a line somewhere, right? I draw the line at giant birds and mystical stags. There's enough weirdness in this world."

"I delight in the weird."

"Of course, you do." He nudged her. "You know, we were supposed to be studying for our finals. If you don't graduate, you can kiss that blood money scholarship goodbye."

"Right." Alina tucked the scholarship letter into her backpack. "Very serious now." They went back to studying.

Alina tried, very hard, not to think of the real reason that she might have gotten that scholarship. Because if Mal knew the truth, she didn't think he'd be so keen on the idea of her going there and then…then she'd be back at square one. Without a plan. Or future.

[rhyssands]

oct 7 - "please stop saying 'nuts'."

prompt: chestnuts rating: g wordcount: 744 characters: Papyrus, Sans, Undyne warnings: none prompt from this post, read it on ao3 here

——

"Brother," Papyrus says, from behind him, "... Aren't... Aren't roasted chestnuts a... Gyftmas tradition?"

"Huh?" He asks, from where he's sitting, merrily roasting chestnuts over a fire that Undyne set while cooking, "Oh. Yeah, I guess. Weird."

Papyrus is silent for a long moment, and when Sans glances over he's giving him an uncomprehending look. Sans quickly averts his eyes back to his chestnuts to hide the grin pulling at his mouth. Harmless little practical jokes like these are fun, because the worst thing he's doing is confusing Papyrus and anyone else who happens to pop by their house and see him roasting chestnuts over their flaming countertop.

"... Where did you even get chestnuts?" Papyrus finally asks, sounding truly confounded, "I know you didn't buy them the last time we were at the store. I don't think the grocery store we go to even sells chestnuts."

"Meh," He says, "Don't worry about it, Paps."

"I am very worried about it, Sans!"

Thankfully, despite how confounded he sounds, he's definitely not as upset about it as he's pretending he is. Papyrus is well-trained in the fine arts of playing along and committing to the bit — two of the very precious few things he learned from Sans that neither of them resents him learning, and both are a particular Sans-flavored type of nonsense that Undyne is woefully unprepared to deal with.

Papyrus-flavored nonsense is Undyne's specialty, after all the years that she's known him.

Sans-flavored nonsense still leaves her floundering more often than not, especially when Papyrus deigns to participate in it.

When he glances over his shoulder again, she does, indeed, look like she's floundering. She's completely flabbergasted, in fact.

"Why, bro? You don't think I didn't get enough for everybody, do ya?" He asks, innocent as a newborn pup. "There'll be plenty to go around."

"The quantity of the nuts is of no concern to me," Papyrus dismisses, with a keen and mischievous glint in his eyelights Sans can't help feeling proud of, "I am far more concerned over the means by which you acquired the nuts, Sans."

The best part of bits like this is that they're so painfully normal for he and Papyrus' relationship that most of the fun comes from seeing how long they can drag it out before one of them cracks. Frankly, Papyrus usually folds first, because he reaches a point where he can't help laughing as he begs Sans to please stop so he can get back to being productive. Today, though, Sans is barely clinging to his composure.

For some reason, having an 'argument' with Papyrus about the means by which he acquired the chestnuts he's roasting is just hitting him right where it metaphorically hurts. It's really getting him.

Maybe it's that Papyrus keeps saying 'nuts'.

He begins to open his mouth to reply, but he's cut off by Undyne.

"You know, actually, smallfry, I'm also concerned about the means by which you acquired those nuts." She says, even more confounded than Papyrus.

"Yes, as you should be. His acquisition of these nuts truly a mystery!" Papyrus says.

Sans can't help it. He breaks.

He shoves his face into his hand and laughs helplessly into his metacarpals like that'll do anything at all to muffle him. "Oh my God, Paps," He half-wheezes, "Please stop saying 'nuts'."

"Only if you tell me how you got the nuts." Says Papyrus, merciless.

"Stars," Sans gasps, trying to sober himself, "I— I bought them last Gyftmas, Paps. There was a seasonal promotion. They're pre-roasted. I'm just setting them on fire for the laughs."

"Of course you are," Papyrus sighs, but he sounds amused, "I suppose I'll stop saying that word, then. Can I put the fire out now?"

"Yeah." He snickers, "Go for it. Undyne's face was worth the effort."

"It very was," Papyrus agrees, to which Undyne gasps in offense.

"You nerds were just trying to get a reaction out of me!" She deduces, "I oughta wallop you both!"

"Wallop me twice," Says Papyrus, as he grabs the fire extinguisher, "Sans can't take it."

"Rude." Sans says, knowing very well that he's completely correct, "But yeah, we were. You should be used to that by now"

"You're a horrible influence on him!" Undyne says, but he knows she's joking and he therefore doesn't mind, "Turning my bestie against me like this. And for what? Laughs?"

"Well, yeah. Always."

The fire is put out in short order, and Sans hucks the chestnuts straight into the trash. Hopefully Undyne won't set anything else on fire tonight, because he's running out of random items to burn over the flames to mess with her.

[reactivatedrockstar]

EYO! This post is pinned because I can't do pages on mobile! Therefore, it will contain all the information you need to know about my boundaries, this AU, and my portrayal of Bonnie! I know I said to read all of it before following, but HONESTLY you only really need to read the rules unless you plan to have threads. (My headcanon tag is Merchandise {Headcanons} if you want to read up, just don't reblog please.) All that you need is under the

Rules

I am on mobile, so my tags are very minimal.

Do not reblog threads you are not apart of.

I'm lenient about this, but do not reblog art or memes from here, as it clogs up my feed.

Don't poop on the floor

I am a mobile user. Maybe once in a while, I'll pop onto a computer at the library to fine tune posts like this, but it's hard, if not impossible for me to use the site to its full extent. As such, icons will not be used, tags will be scarce, and trimming posts will not be done the way I like.

Trimming posts are a strange area. I have adhd and autism, so the best way for a thread to be trimmed is with the last response still attached. This way I can remember what's going on in the thread, which will lead to an overall better rp experience.

RESPECT MY FUCKING BOUNDARIES. I've had some issues with one individual who sucked me into this Fandom, they refused to take no for an answer, and forced me to rp an incest ship. This has scared me away from the rpc for years. If I say no, it does not mean "convince me," it means no. I have a three strikes your out policy.

I have a full-time job as a daycare teacher. I am not always online. Do not pester me for replies.

I have kept up with the lore moderately well, but if I don't know something, or have forgotten something, do not bully me. I have zero tolerance for it. You respect me, and I respect you.

The AU

Prior to the events of security breach, Monty was a new animatronic that was incredibly jealous of Bonnie. He didn't understand why he got to be on the stage when he played the bass even better than he did!! This resentment eventually lead for Monty to do the unthinkable. He asked to talk to Bonnie, where he threw him against the wall, slashed his torso open, ripped out the wires, and smashed a bowling ball into his head. Once the deed was done, Monty then hid the body away where it was never found.

For a whole year, Bonnie lay there, desperately sending some sort of distress signal that was too weak to get through to most of the animatronics. However, the voiceless wetfloor signs began to act strange, making odd sounds and turning to face just about anyone, as a result of this distress signal.

Then, somehow, Freddy found him, and he begged the human staff to help fix him. While they didn't have the right parts to fix him completely, they were able to fix him enough to where he was functional again. Bonnie had absolute no memory of how he came to be in such a state due to data corruption, but he does remember some things, which will easily agitate him and make him aggressive.

Due to his state, Bonnie is unable to interact with guests and do shows, which he misses, so he tends to loiter around behind the scenes where nobody can see him during the day.

In this AU, Gregory waited for the doors to open at 6 in Freddy's room after seeing Vanny and Moondrop, because he was absolutely terrified, however I am willing to negotiate this upon request. (Well, I'm just about willing to negotiate anything lore-wise.)

Bonnie Bunny

First off, Bonnie is non-binary, and his pronouns are he/him. He honestly loves playing around with makeup and facepaint, and of course, playing music. Glamrock Bonnie was one to prioritize self expression to the kids, be it music, facepainting, drawing, makeup, or what have you, and he, obviously, absolutely loves bowling, and is unbeatable at it. Bonnie also has a sense of adventure, and loves doing something new.

However, he remembers bits and pieces of what happened to him, corrupted memories come and go, they make his head hurt, and he doesn't act like himself, and he can become aggressive if not de-escalated. He was also operating somewhat while he was hidden away, and remembers being "asleep," but active, and being so alone. So afraid. So angry. So sad. It's an awful, all-consuming feeling that he couldn't get rid of. He just knew he'd spend the rest of eternity rotting there, helpless. Unable to even speak out and beg for help.

Freddy is his best friend in the whole world. In his programmed backstory, Bonnie was bullied a lot until Freddy started hanging out with him. In turn, Freddy soon started being made fun of in his adolescent years, and Bonnie chased them off as well. According to their backstory, it was them against the world, and they've been an unstoppable duo from the beginning, forming a band and singing duets together. Bonnie could never imagine life without Freddy, and he doesn't want to.

One day, according to his programmed backstory, Freddy and Bonnie were performing, when a pizza-loving chicken had asked if she could take up the mic. They let her, and were absolutely blown away, and added Glamrock Chica to their band. Bonnie deeply cares about Chica, as all friends do, and while he doesn't judge her for her love of junkfood and exercise... he does judge her for eating it out of the garbage. He's pretty sure it's a programming glitch that can't be fixed, but he's gotten damaged prior to the incident trying to stop her in the past. Bonnie means no offense, and doesn't love Chica any less, but he can't stand to watch her eat trash. He and the girls would often do each other's hair, "nails" and make-up just for fun for special events, like Halloween, Christmas, and Saint Patrick's Day, to name a few.

Roxy and Bonnie are chaotic together, but they have some good laughs. Roxy was added as an animatronic in the Pizzaplex at a later time, so he has no programmed backstory pertaining to her, but he still accepts her as one of the band members, and is sometimes even compelled to impress her. He does, sometimes, get afraid of her when she's angry, but he knows that if she ever DID hurt him, it would only be an accident. He's seen the loving and caring side of her, and he loves her for it.

Bonnie has nothing but respect for Monty. He's a cool guy, and he was certain that he'd appeal to teenagers better than he would. He welcomed Monty into the group with open arms, accepting him almost as quickly as Freddy did. And yet... Bonnie gets so afraid of him when he's angry. He'll let him win if it means he won't be angry.... but he would never hurt him... right?

Mun

Honestly, I'm not too sure what I can say about myself. I'm 25+ years old, I work at a daycare, I'm bisexual, she/her pronouns. I am an extremely anxious individual who's terrified of stepping over boundaries or hurting feelings. Since this is a side blog, I can't like starters, so I'll send them to you via dms instead, and if you have anons turned off, I can't send asks either. I'm sory of trying to hide from that person who forced me to rp an incestual ship that made me really uncomfortable, so I'm not using my usual alias. Rest assured that I am following you if I'm sending asks or dming you, I'm always interested. If I'm following you but haven't reached out yet, its probably because I don't have any ideas for interactions. Call me Twoie, if you have to call me anything.