#like. of course hunter would assume he is now homeless and alone. why would he think anyone would take him in?

[catboy-kakashi]

Post Day of Unity where NOBODY adopts Hunter. There were so many candidates that everyone assumed someone else had taken him home

[authornina]

Dalonte “DALY” Dennis: (TEK)

***THIS HAS NOT BEEN THROUGH A TYPICAL EDITING PROCESS; ALL SHORTS ARE ROUGH DRAFTS***

Daly shook his head listening to his sisters go back and forth about dumb shit. It seemed like they always waited until he came around to bring up niggas. He never intruded on their personal lives because he’d instilled enough in them to know what to do and what not to do. He had been on his own with them since he could remember. Daly was only ten years old roaming the streets looking for food to feed them. Life didn’t give him much of a choice to live another way. His mother left everything up to him, so he had to do anything to survive. At first it was just he and TJ, then two more girls came, and his mother literally dropped them off home to him. Daly cared for infants alone being just a baby himself.

They were on their way to the airport to pick up the baby of the three, Erie. She went away to college four years ago and this would be her first time back in Philly since graduating. They visited her a lot, but they were all happy to have her in the same state as them again. He was so proud of Erie for sticking it out and finishing college. At first, she would beg to come home. She even threatened to drop out several times. Daly spoiled Erie the most so during each one of her breakdowns he flew to Atlanta where she attended Spelman to talk her down.

All three of his sisters even being raised by him like straight niggas turned out to be great women despite their foul ass mouths and no-nonsense ass attitudes. People always said how pretty they were until witnessing one of them in action. Daly was a cool brother to have but he sometimes was too hard on himself thinking he could’ve done better with them and their emotions. He didn’t know how to raise children let alone girls but over the years he learned so much about women, more than he actually wanted to know. 

TJ was the oldest and she owned a popular hair salon. She was the wildest and most outspoken. Daly had to bail her out of jail several times, primarily for domestic disputes with her lovers. She was openly bisexual and came out to him when she was sixteen, saying if Daly didn’t accept her for who she was, he could kiss her ass. Of course, no matter what he loved his sister. TJ was five-eight, with tan skin covered by tattoos. She had them everywhere. None of them knew their fathers and Daly assumed she was biracial off her features and TJ didn’t like that. So, the long curly black hair she once had as a girl which made her ambiguity more apparent was shaved off and she chose to wear all types of colorful wigs. She was beautiful either way with her natural hunter green eyes and freckled rosy cheeks. Despite her lifestyle and appearance, TJ went to church a lot. She’d been that way since she was just a child. Always telling Daly she had them all covered on the prayer tip, so they were good. She believed the Lord protected her big brother the many nights he had to go out and do what needed to be done for them. TJ had a huge and loving heart she just didn’t have the patience for bullshit.

Ta’Kia, whom everyone simply called Kia was the calmest when considering the three of them. She didn’t bother anyone unless they bothered her. It was a different story if she knew you though, you wouldn’t be able to shut her ass up. She went to college in state at West Chester where she met her white boyfriend that she stressed out regularly. Kia was also fair skin and four-eleven of feistiness. Daly knew whoever her father was had to be black. She had 4C hair and to him that meant straight nigga. He learned all about the different types of hair black women had over the years. He didn’t assume they couldn’t have loose coils in general, but his sister came from nigga nuts with the shit that sat on top of her head. Kia kept it in all types of natural styles. She was the earthy vegan type. No man-made chemicals could touch her person and she only ate what she grew. She wore very little clothing often, even when it was cold with beads around her waist, lots of rings on her fingers and she had two nose rings and a septum. Daly didn’t know where the hell that aesthetic came from but again, he supported his sisters through whatever.  

Then there was Erieon, Erie for short, Daly’s baby. TJ and Kia didn’t give into her spoiled ass the way he did. If you asked them, their little sister was selfish, stubborn and plain old evil. Erie had a bad attitude, worse than all of three put together and never liked to admit when she was wrong. The only person she didn’t get out the way with was Daly. Erie was the surprise baby and the most beautiful little dark doll he’d ever seen when his mother first dropped her off. He fell in love with her the moment he had to take her on. By then he’d become an expert at caring for infants. Erie stood out because amongst her sisters she shined like chocolate satin. While her sisters rocked baldies and bushes, Erie loved box braids, and any other type of style that hung pass her butt in individuals. Everything about her was gorgeous. She was the most regular physically but personality wise, Daly had a time with that one. Sometimes he thought she had some mental health issues but seeing Lake go through so much and learning what he could, he swore his sister wasn’t that damaged. Couldn’t be. He simply gave her whatever she wanted and hoped it never went further than having temper tantrums.

When Daly was just a child, if it weren’t for Hassan, he and his sisters would be separated and spread out through the system. It was one of the reasons Daly was so loyal to Lake. Hassan made sure they never had to worry about being taken from one another. The house they lived in, he bought it and fixed it up. They had food and clean clothes every day. When his mother would try to come and interrupt the peace they finally had, Hassan made sure she didn’t any longer. Whatever bad shit people had to say about the late Hassan Porter, he and his sisters were blinded by the fact that he was the only adult to give a fuck about them. Even his mother’s sister didn’t offer a helping hand when she knew how they were living. Hassan didn’t ask any questions or want any answers. He saw a problem and fixed it. Never made Daly feel ashamed or embarrassed either.  

Once at the busy airport, they didn’t even have to park to meet Erie inside. She was sitting outside on her luggage with an obvious attitude.

“Here her ass go with the bullshit,” Kia said getting out the car. She hugged her resistant baby sister while Daly kissed her cheek before getting her stuff. TJ didn’t even get out the car because she was the least interested in what had her mean ass mad already. 

“What’s wrong, Erieon?” Daly asked once they were all back in the car. 

“Nothing.” 

“Erie! Stop bein’ a fuckin’ brat!” TJ turned around to her sister who was in the back seat now with her arms crossed and face balled up. “You always do that like somebody supposed to know what you thinkin’.” 

“Leave me alone.” 

“Erie, what’s wrong?” Daly asked her in a gentle tone making TJ and Kia roll their eyes.

“The flight was just annoying. I don’t like being around people.” 

“I’m sure people don’t like being around your evil ass either,” TJ said. “I’ma pray for you on Sunday demon.” She held the cross around her neck then pulled out a little bottle and splashed Erie. 

“Don’t put that saltwater on me!” 

“You need Jesus!” 

“TJ, stop,” Kia laughed. “Stay sprinkling people with your lil holy water.” 

“She think cause she got baptized that she still not going to hell,” Erie said, wiping her face. “Newsflash, you eat pussy, that’s a sin!” 

“Yo!” Daly yelled. “I don’t wanna hear that shit. All y’all shut the fuck up!” 

Why did he say that? All hell broke loose. They started shouting obscenities his way and he blew his breath wishing he went alone to begin with. Daly loved his sisters to absolute death, but they were a damn handful. How anybody dated one was beyond him. Man or woman. 

“Wit your big head ass!” TJ mushed him. “Don’t be talkin’ to us like that!” 

“I’m stayin’ with you TJ,” Erie said. They were the two who got along the least, but her sister was the most freeing to be around and let her do anything. Even though she was going on twenty-three, Kia and Daly treated her like a baby.

“Then you better act like you know, I ain’t for the walkin’ around my shit with no attitude! And I don’t clean up after grown muhfuckas.” 

“Why you don’t want your own shit?” Daly asked.

“Because I don’t wanna be alone,” Erie said low. “TJ lays with me when I need her.” 

“I can lay with you,” Daly said.

“You never be home.”

Erie saying that made Daly feel bad. If he wasn’t there often it’s because he couldn’t be and when he wasn’t, they had to take care of each other. They didn’t intentionally make him feel bad about it, they simply were dealt a shitty hand. No mother and their brother couldn’t be around due to the fact that he was the provider. It all affected each of them in different ways. 

“I lay with you too.” 

“Kia, your bed bout as big as this back seat. Then you like to sleep on the floor,” Erie said, and they all started laughing. 

Daly gave his sisters the range to live much more extravagant, but Kia didn’t want to. She liked her open space loft, mattress on the floor, no curtains, plants from wall to windows, three pairs of shoes and garden full of natural foods. TJ wanted to work for her own money, so she started a business. Erie was the only one who happily ran through his pockets like no tomorrow. He was okay with him being their backup plan if they ever needed or wanted it.

“Says the homeless one,” Kia rolled her eyes.

“By choice,” Erie retorted. 

After Daly took his sisters out then dropped them all off, he stopped at his old apartment. His phone was ringing off the hook and the only calls he returned were Lake, Wreck and Roddy. Mansion called him about fifty times. When those went unanswered, the texts started. 

Mansion: I know you with another bitch, since you wanna ignore me for her. Stay there, and don’t call me ever again with your hoe ass! 

Mansion: Bitch ass nigga! You really wanna cheat on me? And I bet she don’t look like shit! 

Mansion: I was fuckin’ somebody else anyway!

Mansion: I’m gettin’ a abortion!

Daly ignored each one. Mansion would say anything to get him to argue with her. At first it was funny, but now, he was a little tired of the constant back and forth. It was childish but that’s what he got for messing with a twenty-one-year-old. 

“What?” he asked, finally answering for her.

“Put your bitch on the phone.” 

“I ain’t wit no bitch.” 

“Right, you a hoe ass liar! Come get me right now.” 

“Fuck no! Go tell the nigga you was fuckin’ to get your crazy ass.” 

“I was just sayin’ that,” Mansion whined. “I love you.”

“Obviously,” Daly responded sarcastically and they both started laughing. “You gotta chill bro.” 

“My anger just get the best of me, you know I would never step out on you.” 

“I’m not comin’ tonight, I got shit to do.” 

“Like what?” 

“Shit.” 

“You lyin’.” 

“When the fuck do I ever have to lie? If I’ma be with another bitch, I would tell you.” 

“See that’s what I’m talkin’ bout, the disrespect! I’m not about to let you play in my face with no ugly ass hoe!” 

“Who ugly, Mansion?” 

“SHADIA!” she screamed, and Daly hollered. His on again off again girlfriend for years grinded Mansion’s gears. “You need to tell that dog face bitch you love me and it’s over.” 

“I told her that.” 

“Then why she still feel comfortable to go around talkin’ about my nigga? Why THE FUCK is she postin’ you on her Instagram?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“You know because you keep givin’ that hoe hope!” 

“Ion give nobody shit,” Daly looked at his phone beeping. “Hold on, I’ma call you right back.” He didn’t wait for a response to click over for his sister. “Yea TJ?” 

“Come get Erie before I fuck her up!” 

“What she do that damn fast?” 

“I comes the fuck in my room and her ass changin’ shit around in MY HOUSE!”

“You got it ugly in here!” he heard Erie yell in the back. “Everything don’t gotta be green!” 

“DALONTE!” TJ shouted. “Come get your sister! NOW! Jesus be a high ass fence for Erieon…” she started her prayer for forgiveness then Daly heard a bunch of ruckus. He hung up on everybody tired of dealing with women for one day. It wasn’t even five o’clock yet. He got all the bags out of his trunk and went inside the apartment building. 

When he put his key in the door Tracy was standing right there with an attitude. Out of all the bitch fits, he was least interested in hers. He didn’t tell his sisters about their mother staying there and that’s why he moved because it would upset them. TJ mostly. She hated Tracy to no ending. 

“The fuck you standing there for waitin’ like you caught me cheatin’ or something?” 

“Because you leave me in this place, alone! I ain’t got no phone, no communication to the outside world—” 

“Man, fuck outta here,” Daly said, closing the door. “You lucky you got this.”

“I want to see my children, Dalonte!” 

“They don’t wanna see you.” 

Daly’s mother was a rehabilitated crackhead and ex-prostitute. He wouldn’t have offered her a place to stay but she was currently pregnant and had the nerve to tell him she wanted to do right for her baby. 

“Well it ain’t they choice, y’all is muthafuckin’ kids to me! I don’t care what we been through! I am your mother!” 

“You ain’t shit, Tracy.” Daly took all the bags in the kitchen. “Here, all the shit you wanted. Fuckin’ prenatal vitamins,” he threw them at her. “I know your ass ain’t do none of this shit with us! You want my sisters to see this shit?” He started pouring all the stuff out. “You got it in you to finally care about one of your kids.” 

“He is y’all little brother,” Tracy said, palming her stomach with tears in her eyes. Her oldest child hated her so she knew it couldn’t have been any better with the other three but not seeing them for so long hurt her heart. When she came to him, he didn’t even care at first. They owed her nothing and as a mother Tracy wished she could take every ounce of pain she caused them back. 

“I almost said fuck him too,” Daly laughed, and Tracy smiled. Her son loved her; she knew this because he could be really cold when he wanted to be. There had been times she’d been on the other end of it. 

“I’m sorry for putting all of this on you, if I had another option, I would’ve chosen it. I know it’s not easy seeing me like this,” Tracy expressed to her son sincerely. 

“Whatever, I’m out, I gotta go break up a fight between your kids.” 

“Can you at least tell them I miss them?” 

“I’ll think about it.” Daly closed the door in her face. He stood with his back against the door feeling the way he did when he was younger. So many times, she would even watch him struggle with his sisters. Tracy would be home while he was trying to figure out a way to provide for them. Here she was pregnant again with another baby and needed her son all over again. Déjà vu.

[kingonafiftymetreroad]

Fic Rec Post

Hey everybody! One of my secret santas asked me what my favorite fics are so I decided to make a full blown rec post just for them. These are a little all over the place so I hope you can find something that you enjoy here! ☁️✨ 

Please make sure to read all tags and warnings before reading a fic. And don’t forget to kudos/comment!

🌙 The Finish Line (Is A Good Place For Us To Start) by LoadedGunn 122k

Louis Tomlinson, one-time Formula 1 World Champion, is looking forward to the 2013 season. He’s got Zayn in his garage and Liam in his ear, he’s got Cowell Racing backing him despite former indiscretions, he’s got experience and the best race car out there. Not to mention he’s the only racer they have, after Oliver dropped out late last year.

It hasn’t occurred to him that Oliver would have to be replaced by February. That is, until he finds himself at a party celebrating Harry Styles leaving Ferrari for Cowell. Harry hotshot Styles, who broke a record last year and is probably looking to make a big splash. Harry Styles, who is talented and somewhat intimidating. Harry Styles, who left Ferrari for reasons unknown and seems kind of lonely and harmless in person. Lonely, harmless, hot as fuck. Whatever.

The first thing Louis does is take him under his wing. From there it’s nine months of slow-burning romance, the past catching up to them, turning into the human puppy pile that is OT5 and a lot of feelings until, of course, reaching the finish line.

🌙 a promise lives within you now by sarcasticfluentry 46k

A Lord of the Rings-inspired Middle Earth AU. Louis is an Elven prince, next in line to become King of Mirkwood, and Harry is the orphaned Human boy who grows up alongside him. They fall in love, but Louis’s obligations to the throne, Harry’s mortality, and impending war threaten to tear them apart.

🌙 if you're for real and not pretend by brownheadedstranger 21k

In which Harry works in a bakery and Louis can't seem to find what he's looking for.

🌙 Into The Blue by zarah5 117k (story is locked, ao3 account required to read)

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

🌙 Don't Unplug Me Or Shut Me Down by slashter 7k

Louis scowls. "He's a photography student. He works with gorgeous models and probably breaks hearts with his smile. I'm a nerd. I earn my money fixing broken crap, and for some stupid reason, I like it. He wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, he's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers, et cetera, et cetera." Louis sighs. "I swear, the coolest thing I've ever done is wear contacts."

Basically, Louis is a self-proclaimed nerd who fixes things and Harry seems too perfect to keep breaking as many things as he does.

🌙 You Are The Blood by sarcasticfluentry 175k

A seventh-year Hogwarts AU in which Niall gets all the girls, Liam goes on a journey of self-discovery, Zayn falls in love, Harry wants something more, and Louis tries to figure out once and for all why he, a Muggleborn, was sorted into Slytherin.

🌙 this must be what all the fuss is about by youcomecrash 3k

"You're sweaty," he mumbles matter-of-factly. Louis opens his eyes and raises his head from between his arms. Harry's just staring up at him with a lazy expression and Louis kind of wants to kiss him to sleep. "That's because it's a hundred degrees in here, babe."

🌙 I Fell From the Sky For You (Like a Shooting Star) [by louserz] by waddupjordan (orphan_account) 8k (This was originally posted on tumblr by @louserz and this person had permission to post it on ao3 for the author. if the original author sees this and wants me to take this off of my rec post please DM me and I will. This fic displays elements of depression and homelessness although it is not tagged that way so please take caution in reading this. I don’t want to accidentally trigger anybody.<3)

Harry owns a bookstore, Louis is homeless, and apparently even shooting stars fall in love.

🌙 Sail Across Me by iwillpaintasongforlou 21k

Harry is a prince that is about to be forced into marriage against his will and running away to sea seems like a much better option. Louis is the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Rogue and he has a thing for helping defenseless creatures. Especially when they're as pretty as this one.

🌙 but maybe im just in love when you wake me up by theonewiththelarrystories 6k

lazy morning sex, prompted by Asher: "like a whole sleepy sunday morning vibe of waking up together and then louis pulling a sleepy harry into a warm bath and louis washing harry all over. a bit of body!worship, louis gently working conditioner into harrys curls and him practically purring. Then louis taking it slow with kisses on harrys neck and gentle touches and then fingering harry until hes whining with his head thrown back against louis’ shoulder little needy noises coming from his perfect fucking lips. and then harrys boneless and content while louis leads him back to their bed and spreads him out face down and rims the fuck out of him until hes screaming and then he fucks him gently and then they cuddle on the couch and harry wears louis’ white sweater and louis calls him ‘sweetheart.’"

🌙 strawberry milk fic by Wankerville 158k (3 parts)

This is a 3 part story. The 1st part was originally written alone and then the author added the rest. You can just read the 1st part (19k), and you’ll still be satisfied without feeling added pressured to read the whole thing. Please read all the tags and warnings for each fic beforehand!

🌙 and we live like legends now by soleilouis 16k girl!direction 

harry works at a juice bar, and louis is the cute girl that skates at the park right next door.

🌙 Through Eerie Chaos by MediaWhore 102k (story is locked, ao3 account required to read) @mediawhorefics​

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

🌙 jump in the deep end by istajmaal 5k 

Louis’s stomach lurches as he closes the last bit of distance, Harry’s nose settling between his arse cheeks and pushing them apart. Harry’s lips brush against the puckered skin around Louis’s hole in a kiss and Louis lets out a whine so high-pitched he barely recognizes it as coming from himself—what if I'm not clean enough, what if Harry hates it, what if Harry pushes me away—but then Harry’s long, wet tongue swoops in a circle around Louis’s rim and Louis feels like all the breath is knocked out of him. He grabs for Harry’s hand, still digging into his thigh, and squeezes over it, until Harry releases his vice grip on Louis’s thigh and laces his fingers through Louis’s.

or, Louis's arse is a sensitive subject, so Harry approaches it gently. With his tongue.

🌙 the wheel breaks the butterfly by embodied 4k girl!direction @aliensingucci​

“Out with it, Styles,” Louis groans. Harry’s suddenly regretting this whole thing, and she’s sure she’s beet red now, so she just blurts it out so fast she’s not sure if Louis even understands her right away.

“I’ve never gotten head before.”

AU. harry and louis are roommates. girls' night ends a little differently than usual.

🌙 you flower, you feast by stylinsoncity 18k

He's King of the Underworld, but don't assume Louis has it all. He could stand for some excitement in his monotonous, eternal life and maybe, even.....a soulmate.

(Despite not having a soul.)

And along came "Harry".

🌙 you change, water sea by got2ghost 4k girl!direction (ziam with side larry)

“Zayn wants me to teach her how to make a girl squirt,” Louis says, like it’s the most casual thing in the world. Liam chokes on the water she’d been swigging from her thermos, which makes Louis throw her head back and laugh. Zayn’s brows pinch together and she pats Liam gently on the shoulder, muttering, ‘you okay babes?’

🌙 The Case Of The (Definitely Not Haunted) Styles Mansion by BriaMaria 40k

“So there’s a sense of humor buried beneath all that condescension, huh?” Louis said when he’d stopped laughing.

“It’s not condescension, it’s intelligence. I understand you might not be able to recognize it yourself,” Marcel said, then slapped a hand over his mouth. “Oh god, I’m sorry.”

Louis stepped closer, his eyes on Marcel’s face. “For being an asshat?”

“For being rude,” Marcel said, from beneath his palm.

Louis shifted a half-step closer until he was at the very edge of Marcel’s personal space. It felt like he was nudging at it, asking to be let in. Marcel flushed hot for no reason.

“Lucky for you it takes quite a lot to actually insult me,” Louis said taking one step closer. Too close. Too close.

Marcel met Louis’ eyes. Those blue eyes that reminded Marcel of poetry instead of science, lyrics instead of formulas. They were so pretty he wanted to drown in them.

---

Or the Nancy Drew AU where Marcel is a man of logic, Louis is a private detective who believes in ghosts, and the Styles Mansion is definitely, absolutely, positively *not* haunted.

🌙 You are the Lyrics by TheIfInLife 4k @larryficwriter​

or, Harry wears lingerie for the first time and Louis definitely approves.

🌙 Wild at Heart Ain't Hard to Find by QuickedWeen 11k girl!direction @becomeawendybird

Louis and her best friends Niall and Liam always take an annual vacation together. This year Niall has picked Redwater Canyon, a small tourist town where everyone lives like it's the Old West. There are saloons, stagecoaches, and limited access to WiFi.

The town boasts tours, excursions, activities, and the hottest woman Louis has ever seen in the form of the local blacksmith.

🌙 Withdrawal Was the Weeping by QuickedWeen 11k girl!direction

Confined by life and society, Harry spends her Sunday afternoons walking aimlessly about the countryside as it's her only source of freedom. One Sunday she is aided by the most beautiful woman she has ever met, but not everything is as it seems. Was it a trick of the light? Was it Harry's own active imagination? There is nothing to do but try to find her again.

🌙 i must admit i thought i'd like to make you mine by disgruntledkittenface 50k @disgruntledkittenface​

Louis fell apart when her ex broke up with her and moved across the country. Just as she’s starting to move on, Zayn comes back to town for their mutual friends’ wedding – with a new girlfriend as her plus one.

Blindsided and scrambling to save face, Louis lets herself get talked into a fake relationship with her new friend Harry. Their arrangement makes Louis feel pathetic and embarrassed, but it’s only going to last a few weeks. She just has to get through the wedding – what could happen?

🌙 tempted by the fruit of another by disgruntledkittenface 3k (zayn/louis/harry)

Zayn didn’t mean to look. And she certainly didn’t mean to watch.

It’s just that Louis and Harry are the worst hosts in the world; they’re in their bedroom, clearly fucking (again), and so loud that Zayn can’t concentrate on her game of Among Us in the living room. Liam has killed her twice. Liam. So she just went down the hallway to make sure their bedroom door was at least closed.

It wasn’t.

Zayn stumbles into a world of possibility when she stays with Harry and Louis for a few weeks.

🌙 I have more favorite fics but they are not included here due to them being deleted from ao3. They’re saved in PDF form both on my laptop and my phone (I go back and read them all the time) so if you’re interested in those you’re welcome to reach out to me and ask privately and I’ll share what I can.

This turned out a lot longer than I had expected. If you read through the whole thing thank you! ✨

[jack-the-dm]

Pathfinder: Untold Wonders!

Chapter 2: A bird, a fish, and a demon

Avogragan wasn’t a good man. He was rarely considered a man over a monster. Few could argue it, of course, as he wasn’t the easiest to look at. Among his people, the Strix, he’d been considered on the upper side of average. Here, however, wandering through the human city of New Vander, he was a freak.

He’d kept a hood and cloak drawn tight around him, but his wings would occasionally droop and peek out the bottom. It was a constant hassle to keep them up and very tiring. He usually played them off as part of his getup so people wouldn’t trouble him, but lately that caught the attention of hunters. They always hound him for where on this earth he found giant ravens, but it wasn’t hard to dissuade them. Even so, it wasn’t attention he needed. Now they were folded around his shoulders within his cloak, a rather claustrophobic solution, but one that let him pass as a Tiefling. He had skin on the same level as ash with bright yellow eyes and a set of sharp teeth. It really wasn’t hard to play to that strength. As long as Tieflings were allowed, so was he.

As he walked down one of the less crowded streets in what he could only assume was the crafting district, he spied many things. Despite the Human majority in the city, he saw plenty of Dwarves, the occasional Elf, and even what seemed to be a sleeping Merfolk sitting by the wayside with a pan sparse with copper and silver coins. A sign written in common sat propped against her knees as she slept, “Will perform for food.”

He paused by her, ignoring the leering glances in his direction. He could only imagine what they saw, a tall hooded man standing in front of a passed out woman. She had icy coloured skin with long straight hair that was only a shade or two darker. A set of finned ears protruded from either side and through the gaps of her sandals he could see webbing. Her body was that of an acrobat, toned and firm with curves in all the right places with maybe a little extra up top straining her ragged shirt. She was unbearably attractive. Under normal circumstances, he might have cared more than a little. To him, she might as well have been a flowerbed, or more aptly a still river. Still, he couldn’t help but notice how thin she was. Her shirt had ridden up enough where he could see her ribs beneath the skin and her sunken stomach. How long had it been since he was in the same position? How long since he’d been on the street with a mound of dirt for a pillow and an empty belly for days at a time? With a deep breath, he retrieved a gold piece from his coin pouch within his duffle bag and dropped it into the pan.

It wouldn’t be enough for lodging, definitely not around here, but it would get some food for her. Besides, he had more than enough from his last job. With a sharp jerk of his neck that sent a cascade of snaps through his spine and several street goers giving him concerned looks, he made his way forward.

He’d asked his long time ally Umu to scout around for the town’s inns and bars, hopefully with decent pricing and a lack of racism. Those two didn’t always go hand in hand, sadly. Either way, he’d make due. If anything he was just biding his time until her return. The city being the bustling den of activity it was meant that there was always something going on. Avo must have wandered past at least three street fights, a handful of professional hustlers, and two brothels. It hadn’t been the best time. One of the more enthusiastic girls, some Elf or maybe even a halfbreed, tried to lure him inside. Being one of the few completely clothed and even hooded had drawn her eye. She’d been taller than him, but that didn’t mean much when she saw the arcane yellow glow of his eyes. To the girl’s merit, she didn’t scream or freak out in any sense. She simply stepped back and let him pass. Nothing says leave-me-alone better than a little flash of magic.

His arcane abilities were immense, but he had yet to really master it. Oh how he longed to skywrite again, twirling through the air while leaving mystical wisps of energy in the form of words or the rare picture. It could even be considered a form of dance. He briefly let himself glance skyward, reviling in the memories of he and his sisters soaring through the night sky in intricate patterns and movements.

‘One day I’ll see them again.’

With his thoughts in the clouds, Avo felt the comforting pinch of talons on his shoulder. His raven had returned. He gave it a glancing smile, “Umu, welcome back. Find anything?”

The raven let out a coo and jerked its head to the side. She was a smart little bird. “Found a lovely little place about a mile down. Can we stay there? The skies don’t look too friendly today.”

Avo looked up. True enough there were clouds above, but on the horizon was nothing but sun. He couldn’t quite reason that the bird’s concern was founded, but he could feel her hesitation and reluctance. The benefits of a familiar like her were plenty, a natural sense of danger to name one. Umu could feel a storm coming, violent and angry, and their supernatural tether ensured they both felt it. “Sounds fine to me. I’ll get you some bread in a bit.”

“Bread!” The raven squawked right next to his skull, causing him to flinch.

Not a few seconds later, someone stumbled into his path. They were barely over three foot with large pointed ears and bright green skin. Strands of black hair were slicked back, but did nothing to hide the bald head. A pointed toothy grin met him. Avo was pretty thrown off. He’d seen Orcs, but this? He had no idea what in the six hells it was. No one seemed to react to its presence, but this thing stood out more than he did. “You! You, hooded man.”

It’s Common was atrocious with a kind of snarling accent that the words just weren’t meant to endure, but he could understand to a degree as the creature hobbled up to him. The poor thing gestured to the ground, “Boot shine?”

Avo looked to his bare three toed feet, each digit extending into a talon. The creature also noticed and tapped its chin as thoughts ran through its mind. “Hmm... nail shine?”

It had been longer than he’d liked since the last time he took proper care of himself. Avo looked down to his exposed talon-like nails that topped each of his toes. They were well kept, but covered with dirt and lacked a shine they once had. The raven at his shoulder nudged him with her beak, “You should, you know.”

The odd little Dwarf-Orc motioned to a chair, it’s crooked teeth twisted into a smile. It was wearing some weathered clothing, but the heaviest damage sit on the knees of the pant legs and on the creature’s upturned palms where plenty of dirt and what looked like soot had been rubbed in. A hard worker, this one. He’d already given a gold to some weird homeless fish girl, why not give some business to a proper worker too? “Sure. Thank you, uh...”

“Gums! Humans call me Gums, best shoe shine.”

“Right...Gums. Uh, thanks.”

Avogrogan sat down, trying to keep a gap between his folded wings and the back of the chair. They were pretty uncomfortable as it was, but this was grating. He’d endure. Had it not been a human majority city, he’d have let his pride and joy unfurl to their full majesty. He missed home. He missed his old life with his family and his tribe.

Humans were heavily responsible for his races destruction as they expanded their territory and believing them to be devils, began a war that wiped out generations from both sides. The war was over, but dried blood was still blood spilled for the greed and foolishness of humans. Avo hated them to his very core. He’d met some nice ones of course, forced to converse with them while under the guise of a Tiefling, but a handful of good souls didn’t redeem a species. He knew that much. Likewise though, it took far more than a few bad eggs to condemn them.

“All done!”

Avo glanced down to admire the little thing’s handiwork. There was a shine to his black nails that hadn’t been there in years. He could almost see himself in their curve. Very interesting. “Hmm. Not bad, Gums. Not bad at all. What do I owe you?”

The little creature stood as tall as it could and brought a fist to its chest with a toothy smile. “Three silver! Gums is best shine!”

“Definitely a good one. I’ll give you five for a good job.”

“Generous bird man!”

Avo stiffened as a fake smile crossed his face, “Tiefling man.”

Gums pointed to the hem of his cloak with a gnarled finger, “But bird wings, there.”

“A trophy I assure you.”

“They just moved.”

Umu nudged him again, “Idiot, they’re moving when you do!”

Avo stiffened further and realised his mistake as Gums pointed again, “Ah, see? Bird man.”

Avo was about to respond, but Gums stood up and dusted his hands on the front of his tunic, “Bah, Gums don’t care. Hard to work honest in human towns. Gums has to work hard to be here. First Goblin in years!”

Goblin?! Was that what they looked like? Gods above, it looks like some horrid crossbreed that should never see the light of day! Avo managed to keep his screams internal and leaned forward, “Ah, a fine Goblin you are. You should be proud. Took me a week of camping outside the walls to get in.”

Umu flapped her wings and perched herself on the back of his chair shaking uncontrollably with a laughter the bird just couldn’t voice. Clearly she’d detected his surprise, “What the fuck did you think he was?! A midget Orc?”

Avo peeked over his shoulder, “Would you be surprised if I said yes?”

The raven fell to the stone laid ground twitching with soundless laughter the species just wasn’t capable of. Gums cocked his head, “Is your bird okay?”

Avo took that as his cue and got up, thankful that no one could understand the words he spoke to his familiar, and was sure to collect Umu from the ground, “She’s fine. Thank you for your work Gums.”

He held out a fistful of six shining silver coins which the Goblin happily accepted. As Avo strode on with a powerful gait, he tucked the raven into his coat where an inner pocket became her resting place. He could still feel her spasms of laughter as her beak rubbed against his padded shirt. He felt a roll of the eyes wasn’t quite enough for something of her caliber. Honestly, what an overreaction. Again, Avo glanced skyward. The clouds were slowly getting darker as time went on. The raven was right. A storm was coming the likes of which were reserved for the highest mountains.

A few minutes and a brisk walk later found them cozy in the very Inn Umu had mentioned. The bird was perched on the edge of a pan, pecking at the cut of bread Avo had given her while he worked slowly at some dried meat he’d gotten. They’d secured a room easily enough and now they were alone. A bed and a table with two chairs were all that decorated the room, but for two gold a day it was rather fair. It was well kept and made sure he was warm as the brisk evening wind began to blow through the streets. His cloak lay on the bed with one of the chairs jammed into the locked door. In utter privacy, he let his wings unfurl.

The black feathers shined dimly in the candle light as both eight foot appendages extended behind him. Avo was stood at the window, shirtless and munching away with a hand on his hip.

“Thinking about where he could be?” Umu chirped.

The Strix only nodded. His prey was here somewhere. If he were a lecherous old fool with a fetish for necromancy, where would he hide?

__________________________

Allisia wandered through the streets of New Vander with a smile on her face and a mission in her mind. She was to go and fetch a few supplies for a mission that would take them into the mountains. It was a simple escort job that had them and two others from the Adventurer’s guild guiding five merchant folk to the Dwarven city of Urven. She didn’t like Dwarves. She didn’t hate them by any means, but she was always subject to their jokes and drunken advances.

Speaking of...

She gave a middle aged man a sharp glare as his eyes roamed where they really shouldn’t. She was still in her armor, refusing to leave it for this very reason, but the man simply smiled like he could see right through it. She gave a huff and picked up the pace, tucking a few strands of hair behind her horns to keep it out of the way.

“You’d think the demon with a greatsword would deter those pervs.”

Allisia shivered and looked down to her side. Walking beside her was Marii, a friend she was quick to make. When she’s first mover to New Vander with her father, Marii had been the town’s main attraction. She was a performer, dancing and singing for the entertainment of others. She’d been the one to make a tavern’s profits triple in one night. That was until she made powerful enemies. A politician here, a few uppity businessmen there, all turned down by her. They hadn’t taken it well. They blacklisted her, paid thugs to rob her, had arsonists burn her home. In two short years she’d lost it all. No one could even arrest them due to the extreme funding they put towards the city guard. She was left helpless. Alissia had asked why she never joined the Adventurer’s Guild like them, but apparently one of the people she turned down was the Guild Master. She was still somehow looking after herself, but it pained her and her father to see their friend in such a predicament. Von even forced her to stay with them for two weeks before Marii had refused to burden them longer.

Marii Selvic was, from what she’d told them, an Undine. She was from another plane of existence entirely! She never mentioned how she’d arrived in the Material plane. With ice coloured blue skin and long voluptuous hair of a deep ocean shade, she stood out as much as Ali did. The finlike ears protruding from her head reminded the Tiefling of her own horns, the currently unused gills in her neck reminiscent of Ali’s tail. Sure they weren’t the same by a long shot, but outcasts bonded over similarities. The tattered clothes the Undine wore were much more loose than Ali thought was really healthy, but the chest of the top and the hips of the trousers were still drawn relatively tight. She was still flaunting her near perfect hourglass figure, but it had been stupidly exaggerated back in her successful days. It was as if she’d been blessed by every fertility goddess that ever existed at the same time. At least now it was more manageable.

Ali gave her an honest smile, “Hey Marii! Where’re you off to?”

“Oh, just doing a bit of altering for the girls down at the Rose Bud. They’ve got a big crowd tonight and their performers aren’t looking their best right now.”

The Rose Bud. Ali shuddered at the name. It was one of the three brothels in town and the cheapest by far. The girls that worked there were either down of their luck or condemned to slavery. There’s been nasty rumours spreading around about the management too, talk of abusing their workers and skimming off their pay. The Tiefling’s stomach flipped at the thought of her friend going there, especially alone. The sun was gone, but her father wouldn’t worry too much. He’d probably go himself if he knew and their mission wasn’t until noon tomorrow. Yeah, plenty of time to do it tomorrow.

“Hey Marii?”

The Undine’s long lashes fluttered in the evening light, “Yes?”

“I know you can handle yourself, but I really don’t like you going alone. Would you mind if-”

Maria’s hands flew to Ali’s shoulder, the highest point she could reach with a hop, “I’m so glad you offered! I was actually going to ask if you’d tag along.”

Ali felt the warmth spread from her friend’s palms into her tightly knotted shoulders. Gods above she needed a massage, preferably by this master of the body. Even with the pleasant distraction, she couldn’t help but stumble over her words, “Y-you were? Well, sure, I mean I can’t just let you go alone. You’re my best friend after all.”

“Aww! You’re sweet, Ali. Makes me wish I had a sweet tooth.”

What exactly she meant by sweet tooth, Ali didn’t want to assume. She folded up her list of supplies and began following Marii’s lead, doing her best to put her hiking face on. According to her father, she had a grand total of three specific expressions. There was the social face, which she usually wore. The hiking face, reserved only for long walks that make her hate anything and everything until she could sit and rest. And finally, her killing face. She never got the chance to see it herself and Von never described it, but he didn’t like it. She couldn’t even try to get near it. It was very situational.

There wasn’t much she had to do in regards to Marii. The girl was a pro at anything arcane. She could seduce a man with her voice and make windows shatter with a shake of the hips. She was still as much the performer as she once was. Plenty of people gave her lecherous looks and a few went to Ali as well, but apparently looking angry did the trick.

‘Yeah, because a seven and a half foot tall, two-hundred pound devil girl with a slab of steel on her back wasn’t enough.’ She thought with a tired sigh.

At least one of them enjoyed the attention.

——————-—————————————————

So how I usually do these is I get with the player who’s perspective the chapter takes and work with them to see how they would think. Again, sorry for the format.

[amwritingmeta]

Can we talk about that gas and sip episode? Like at the end were it's night time ever and Dean asks Cas "were to?" And the very next scene it's MORNING and Dean is dropping Cas off at the gas and sip. WTH?

Oh, my darling! This is SO late. I hope you can forgive me… I’ll try and make it up to you by saying YES WE DAMN WELL CAN TALK ABOUT THIS FANFIC GAP BECAUSE IT IS EPIC!!

:P

So I think you may be aware of how much I love this arc and how much I love human!Cas. I love it because it focuses Cas in a way that not many other moments in his progression has managed to do and it tells us, in no unequivocal terms, what his endgame is. He’ll reach it when he’s made the choice that will answer the question posed to him: Angel or man? Right? YES!

So this question comes at him by the end of 9x06 - the episode where the moment you’re referring to occurs - and this episode as a whole is a thing of beauty, especially where Dean and Cas are concerned. It gives us SO MUCH. (I know that this is not news) (as with most things I’m certain there are reams written on this episode and this arc) (but I haven’t written much on it save for in tags so I’m excited I get to tackle it) (and yeah this will probably get kinda long…) (ahem)

Okay, I’m going to answer your question, but first I want us to have a bit of an overview.

Firstly, consider the reason Cas isn’t in the bunker –> Gadreel. 

Because of Gadreel’s objections in 9x03, Dean asked/told Cas he had to leave.

Yeah, so now Dean gets a call from Cas and Dean is so fucking pleased, though a little thrown, and he tries to chat, gets told Cas is only calling him because of a case Dean might want to look into, further getting informed that Cas is “busy” and realises Cas just blew him off. 

He’s busy? Busy with what exactly and is he okay and what was that noise in the background? 

So. 

Dean doesn’t just go to where Cas said the case is, oh no, because Dean Winchester - hunter extraordinaire - tracks Castiel - former angel of the lord - down and in the process tells Sam, not once, but twice, that he absolutely does not need Sam’s help or want him anywhere the fuck near this case because then, due to that cockblocker Gadreel, Dean definitively will not get to spend any time with Cas. 

Which is the primary reason Dean gets on the road and the only reason Dean gets on the road without Sam and then goes on to assure Sam he’s got it covered and doesn’t need him to come join him. Like, yeah, Dean, you’re feeling all kinds of mixed emotions, right? Guilt, longing, need, worry? And you want to see Cas and you want to make sure he’s okay.

That is, if Cas even wants to spend time with him, which Dean is still unsure of. Hence the hesitation and frown-y face as he watches Cas through those big Gas ‘n Sip windows. 

Seriously, is he okay? What the hell is he doing? This is the last damn place on Earth that I’d ever thought I’d find him and what exactly is the dude wearing?

But Dean braves it. With a grin. Because he’s nervous as all hell that he’ll get shot down after he behaved like a complete asshat, throwing Cas out of the bunker like that, and Cas only called about a case so Dean showing up here might not be welcome. In fact, he might get asked to get the fuck out of there. (even though Cas did pick up the phone to call him so…)

Now, Cas – sorry - Steve – does look taken aback. Actually, he looks downright shocked to see Dean’s face. Like he expected he never would again, at least not so soon, and not here, like he genuinely expected Dean to only be interested in the case. (damn these men and their inability to openly communicate) (of course also bless them because it is what makes their interaction so fucking enticing) (that they’re both such major idiots)

All this said, it could be argued (let me headcanon ok?) that Cas, somewhere, in the back recesses of his mind, hoped that placing a call about a case in the very town he’s staying in would mean they’d run into each other.

Running into each other so that Cas could show how well-adjusted he is, of course. That he’s got a job and a… place to sleep. Which is in the back of a Gas ‘n Sip, but Dean wouldn’t need to know that anymore than Cas’ boss knows. Well, she does now, but she thinks he’s just a dedicated employee. She doesn’t know that he’s homeless. (or quite possibly she does) (she seems to take Cas for who he is, not what he is) (and sees the core kindness of him and doesn’t question it but repays it)

Well, there’s no run-in on the street in the cards for Cas and Dean, is there? Nope. Because Dean is far from as casual about the whole thing and he wants to see Cas and he tracks him and finds him. And now here Dean is, face to face with Steve, and he cannot believe this is where Cas has ended up.

Mostly because Cas is fine. Cas is more than fine, he’s a little pissed off and clearly wholly dismissive and obviously uncomfortable with Dean invading this new life he’s building, but other than that, he seems to be okay with being human.

And Dean tries to needle an admittance of doubt out of him. Dean, naturally, thinks this gig is way, way below Cas, right? Out of all the things he could’ve chosen to do, he finds the most menial task a person can engage in (pardon me, all you Gas ‘n Sippers out there, I mean no offence, but compared to what Cas has done in the past…) Cas has chosen to engage with something that doesn’t speak to his skill set at all. And Dean is like WHY??

So he tries to make Cas admit that working at a gas station is below him, that he thinks he deserves more than this, more or less steering Cas towards admitting that his humanity is a burden and he hates it and all he wants is to be an angel again. Only, Cas doesn’t. 

Why? Again, because Cas is fine. Fine with being human. Fine with this being his reality. Fine, fine, fine. And Dean still can’t understand why, until it’s revealed that Cas has a hot boss. It’s about a girl! Wonderful. Awesome. Very human. And terrifying. Because where exactly does all this leave Dean? He shut Cas out of his life in order to protect Sam, and now it turns out Cas is happily shutting him out, because he never really needed Dean’s help. Did he?

So what’s the one thing Dean Winchester - hunter extraordinaire - can think to do? Well, how about hooking Cas into considering what they used to share? 

Come on, Cas, come on this case. Remember how much fun that used to be? Remember the good old times? I’ll remind you. I’ll damn well remind you of what you’re giving up. 

Needy, Dean. Very, very needy. Just let him go, man. He’s okay. You didn’t break him by throwing him out. He’s fine. Leave it alone. But of course, Dean doesn’t. And they go investigating. And Dean comes to realise something: 

Cas is fucking mortal. 

He can die. Yes, remember that, Dean? Now he does. Because Cas suddenly expresses his own fear of dying, telling Dean that things are different now. Things feel different. Such a wholly human thing of him to say! *heart eyes*

And the shoe drops: Dean doesn’t need any more prompting. He tells Cas to stay safe, to go on that date, to live a normal life. And Cas isn’t happy with that wording, because he feels like a fucking coward, but yeah, he doesn’t want to die. Again. (also he promised Dean he wouldn’t so…) And Nora is nice and going on dates is something humans do.

So there’s another gap here, you realise? Because it’s broad daylight when Dean and Cas go to check out that high school crime scene, and then it’s 7pm when they drive up to Nora’s house. So what did they do in the interim? Maybe they went to a pub or a bar for a beer and a chat, or maybe they even went to get Dean a motel room, because he hadn’t done that yet. Wouldn’t surprise me if he, way too eager to see Cas, just rolled into town. :P

Then, of course, we get the reveal that Nora thought of Cas as the Babysitter (which is so ironic I don’t even know what to say about it) (the term has been tossed around throughout the series) (especially in later seasons) (for example when Dean calls Cas out on acting the Winchester’s babysitter in 12x19) (and there’s more to discuss on this topic but I’m leaving it) and left alone in Nora’s house Cas gets a visit from Ephraim, the angel of mercy, who wants to take all his pain and confusion away.

Noteworthy is the fact that Cas didn’t want to walk into danger, but when faced with it steps between it and the innocent child he thinks is threatened. He will always, always act the shield. This core trait instinctively wipes away any fear or second thought for his own safety. It’s pretty fucking glorious to behold.

We also learn something here: Cas is in pain. The truth is that he is forcing himself into a role he’s not designed to play, submitting to his mortality and making a go of what he assumes is the human way of doing things because…

Because he was rejected by Dean.

I mean, it’s quite simply this exact thing that’s made him embrace his humanity in this non-Cas way, because he’s alone and without a rudder and all he can think is that he’s useless without his powers, and what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to help? April nearly killed him. The angels all hate him and rightfully so. He’s hiding and trying to forget about all of it, except he can’t entirely - hence the taking note of the nearby case and calling Dean in to take care of it.

By turning himself into Steve, Cas is going against his core traits: to help and to protect. This isn’t a good place for him to be. (hence the change of name) (he’s literally acting a role he’s assigned himself) (the human version of him needs a name not tied to Heaven) (he’s pretending he doesn’t have a past because the guilt of what has happened is so extreme he doesn’t know how to even face it) (because he feels utterly powerless)

So the lesson he’s meant to learn in this episode is exactly that. He can talk big and tell Dean that he’s found purpose and dignity in what he’s chosen for himself, but the truth is that what makes him special - as Nora tells him - is the way he cares. 

A rose by any other name, Castiel. You cannot wipe out who you truly are by pretending to be someone else.

Nora’s dialogue as Cas leaves her house more or less serves to shine a light on the truth of Ephraim’s challenge, because the challenge for Cas to decide how to continue - as an angel or as a man - isn’t really the choice Cas has to make for himself. It’s whether he continues to stick his head in the sand when he’s needed the most, allowing his fear of dying to give him a free pass, or whether he chooses to face this fear, and play big, in spite of it.

(let’s also not forget about this gap between when Cas and Dean together defeat Ephraim and Nora comes back from her date) (because they straight up looked after a baby together) (and I want to see that on screen more than I want to see them in Dean’s procured motel room tbh) (oh wait) (now we have JACK) (god I love S13) :P

So when Dean asks Cas “Where to?” the grim expression on Cas’ face has everything to do with the fact that he hasn’t decided how to answer that question yet. He has no fucking idea where to go from here or even where he wants to be headed. 

So here we now land in my reply to your actual question. 

I’m going to give you my way of filling in the gap of this night we never got to witness, and it’s platonic af. Yeah, that’s right. P.l.a.t.o.n.i.c.

I mean, I think Cas stayed quiet in that car, lost in thought, and Dean suggested hey, you hungry, grab a bite to eat? So maybe they went to restaurant and talked and it was all good, or maybe Dean asked him where he’s staying and Cas just muttered and Dean suggested hey, why don’t you come back to the motel, huh? Because of course Dean wants to drag this out for as long as possible and there’s beer and they can get some food on the way and just… hang out. And maybe Dean was thinking and hoping that maybe Cas, who clearly wants to get laid again, would be up for flirtation, but —

– but here’s the thing. The way I read Dean, especially where he’s at in his progression at this point, considering that he’s on the precipice of letting his self-hatred get the better of him in such a way that he decides to take the MoC on himself, my reading of him is that he’s simply not in a mindset to make a move on Cas. He just doesn’t have the balls to risk this incredibly important relationship because he’s horny. (remember he hasn’t admitted to himself yet exactly how much he fucking LOVES Cas, right) (that won’t happen until S11 and Mildred’s hand placed over his heart)

If Cas instigated it, oh, fuck yeah. I think Dean would’ve happily engaged in a night of debauchery and his self-loathing would then have explained it away as nothing but some fun between friends, going so far as to completely convince himself that of course Cas doesn’t FEEL anything. Oh, and neither does Dean, because love and happiness are such scary concepts (because Good Things Don’t Last) that even the thought of them are suppressed swiftly and efficiently and all that this ever was, for the both of them, was sex between friends, nothing more. But —

– but Cas is in no state to instigate anything here. 

He’s low. He’s had severe blows delivered throughout the episode and the only thing keeping him up is the fact that Dean’s there. So even if they don’t have a deep heart-to-heart about the decision Cas is about to make for himself, the fact that Dean is there as support, I believe, has a huge bearing on where that decision actually lands. 

So, we have a Cas who is feeling low and, I’d argue, doesn’t have his mind set on sex as emotional consolation, mostly because he’s still unsure of what exactly that longing he feels from Dean means. He’s still unsure about what it is he feels. You know? He’s just now starting to suss out the vastness and depths of human emotion - he says as much in this episode when discussing Ephram’s motivations with Dean. It’s still a confusing jumble, just as it is for most humans. 

I believe what Cas needs when he gets into the Impala is a friend. And beyond that what he needs, more than anything else, is a hot meal, an even hotter shower and a warm, soft bed to sleep in for the first time since… Well, a very long time, I’d say. 

I do headcanon with my last breath, though, that this is the night when these two fell in love for real. Like they were attracted to each other and there was respect and intrigue and they were doing a joint circling of falling in love (hello that year in Purgatory) (but of course Dean told himself that was all about comrades in arms) (and Dean being hellbent on finding Cas and bringing him home was all about how Cas said “I’ll go with you” and then he died) (even when he didn’t want to face any conflict) (because he backed Dean) (and Dean wasn’t just gonna leave him in fucking Purgatory was he…?) but this is where that emotion manifested, irreversibly, for the both of them. 

Like they got to see new sides to each other that they had never been privvy to before. Instigated by them fighting off a death threat as a team, but really deepened by them taking care of a baby as a borderline couple and seeing what that domesticity could be like, and then Dean showing support and understanding and them simply having a low-key evening together, staying in the same room with absolutely nothing more needing to happen than them falling asleep after hours of talking about life and their past and just getting to know each other on a completely different level.

Because with a Dean that is way too insecure and in no mood of doing something stupid that might jeopardise his friendship with Cas now that his last stupid thing has been put behind them, and with a Cas equally in the process of finding his footing as a human and individual and really not being about the sex, but much more about making a connection, I just don’t see them getting it on in this episode.

That’s not to say that it’s not open for that interpretation. This is MY reading, peeps. And I love toying with the idea that something happened. But to me it doesn’t fit in with how I read the canon narrative, is all. And it doesn’t have to. I’m just basing my reply on that reading, rather than all the possibilities if venturing away from how I view it. :P (I’m also not saying I’m the only one to view it this way) (I’m just not going to bunch people into a we when I’m not entirely sure who the we is) :)

Moving on.

After the lessons learned in this episode, in 9x09 we get to witness where Cas lands, which is in the decision to don fed threads and insert himself into the brothers’ investigation, going head first into a situation to do with angels warring with each other, stating that this is something he should be involved in.

In other words, a 180 in attitude from the start of 9x06 and his fear of facing possible death. (as well as, of course, facing the anger and disgust of his kin) (fleeing responsibility as a human) (finally coming to the realisation of his own accord that not only does running away go against everything he believes in) (but everything that truly makes him him as well) (he can’t just turn his back)

It makes me teary eyed and emotional. He’s been told by Dean to go live his life, and this is what he chooses for himself. No more aimlessness, no more questioning where he should be or where he belongs, he steps into that crime scene intent on being a part of the fight Dean told him isn’t his anymore. *head fucking exploding with joyyyyy*

Now, on that note ^^^ let’s look at the very final scene of 9x06.

So, Dean apologises for telling Cas to leave the bunker, something that’s been weighing on him ever since he first laid eyes on Cas in that Gas ‘n Sip, I’m sure. Like, why not open with this, Dean? 

(because he’s a scaredy cat and he wanted to charm the pants off…… well……. Cas and suss out if their friendship had been seriously damaged before even breeching the subject of how he failed to be there for Cas when he needed him the most) 

And then Dean tells Cas he’s proud that he’s adapting to this new life, even if it’s been hard. 

And that’s a complete 180 with regards to what his attitude was at the start of the episode. It’s a brilliant emotional bookend for our Dean! 

Instead of being needy and trying to get Cas to come play with him as in Please, remember the good times, Cas! Dean is letting go. He doesn’t want to. Like, he really, really does not want to. (Jensen plays this scene so well) (and God Misha is amazing in this episode) (GAH) 

But this choice of letting go isn’t just because of Gadreel now, it’s because Cas doesn’t want to die. And Dean doesn’t want Cas to die. So, Dean forces himself to because it’s the right thing to do and he tells Cas to go live his life. And, again, I don’t think he’s fully come to terms with how in love he really is with Cas, but we know, through this action, exactly how much he loves him.

And the narrative knows. And sets up a big reward, even though Dean can’t quite see it as such, when Cas chooses to return to him in 9x09.

I mean, Dean sees Cas being reckless with his life. Again. But, really, if Dean hadn’t come to the Gas ‘n Sip and instilled a sense of having faith in Cas even without his powers, Cas might not have come to the realisation that he was lying to himself about what his purpose ought to be. All that pain he’s been suppressing, all that worry and lack of self-worth because he wasn’t entirely sure why Dean had rejected him, it eases when Dean shows up unannounced and encourages him that they should work a case together.

Dean: So? I’ve never had any powers.

I think that’s ^^^ a pivotal line in this episode and something Cas has to understand. Still. Going on six years later. His powers do not define him. His powers are not the reason he’s valued and important to Dean, or to Sam. 

Anyway, for 9x06 what he had to understand is that deep down he’s a shield and a protector, always and forever. He’s not meant to nuke nachos and keep bathrooms clean. And he does understand it. If human is what he’s going to be, then he’s meant to be a hunter. Plain and simple. So, a hunter in training he’ll be. And off he goes. To help the angels. (and to be close to Dean again)

There. One simple, straightforward request for a bit of a discussion on one fanfic gap in an episode became four and a half pages of meta analysis and headcanon and spec about intention and the characters’ emotional architecture for you. And flailing about one of my favourite episodes of this show. Like hands down top ten. Easy peasy don’t even have to ponder it. 9x09 and 9x10 belonging high up on that list as well. 

Right. I could write an essay about this arc and how important I think it is, how it becomes an axis that turns and rotates the entire series in a new direction and informs not only the love story, but so much of the codependency and the main characters’ individual arcs as well. It’s just full of bright, bright moments and horrible heartache and it’s all so part of the reason why we love this damned show, right?

Thanks for the prompt, my lovely. And do excuse my reply being so abysmally late!!

xx

[pendragonfics]

(The Angel from Above and) The Gardening Girl

Paring: Castiel/Reader

Tags: female reader, fluff, human Castiel, flowers, gardening.

Summary: Reader lives a beautiful life living in the house she was born in. One day while gardening, she invites a man who appears lost inside.

Word Count: 1,551

Posting Date:  2016-09-15

Current Date: 2017-05-23

In mythology, people had first been made of clay, until an ancestor of the gods gave them fire, and they turned to flesh and bone, and breathed air. All of your life, you had been enraptured by these stories, delving into the things which made more sense than the corporate-fuelled world that spun around you. Maybe it was because you had been born in the garden bed out the front of your house, beside an abandoned church, or that every moment since your hands had been full of dirt and surrounded by nature, but you felt at home around things which only you could see, with thoughts you could only think.

It wasn’t until you were twenty, and living alone in the house you were born in when your home had its first unexpected visitor. Not many people came to see you in your old brick home, not since your parents had decided to move to Italy to study in foreign culinary schools. Your visitor seemingly came from nowhere, and at the time, you were seemingly invisible. Glancing up from your pergola’s petunia bed, you gasped.

He had dark, unkempt hair, the same shade as the bags he carried below his crystalline blue eyes. The clothes he wore hung off his body, a size too large, tattered and dirty, borderline disgusting. But he was not. Despite the fact he appeared to be quite homeless, morose, you had to do what you did best.

“You look like hell,” you call out to the man. His gaze caught you, an air of shock around his agape jaw. It would seem he didn’t anticipate to be in the flowery garden, let alone call out on his physical appearance “…I don’t suppose you’d be offended if I invited you in for iced tea?”

He shook his head. “I -,” his voice was deep, scratchy from his parched state. Gorgeous. “I would never be offended by an offer from such a pretty woman.”

You felt your cheeks flush the shade of your flowers you had been tending to, and without hesitating, you stand, brush the dirt from your hands and cross to the gate where the dark-haired man stands. “My, you’re too kind.” You chuckle, holding your hand out for him to shake. “I’m _______, and I’ve been told I make a mean peach iced tea.”

The man smiles sheepishly, placing his hand in yours. “My name is Castiel.”

Your smile widens, and you open the gate to your home for the stranger named after an angel. “What a wonderful name - come on in, Castiel. You look like you need a rest and someone to talk to.”

— 

By the time he’s had a glass of your iced-tea - “It is not mean at all, it’s quite flavoursome” - and agreed to take a bath and while you wash his clothes, wear what slacks and shirts your father hadn’t taken with him to the land of the pope - “You are very kind, _______”- and before you know it, you walk into the living room to chat some more with the interesting travelling man Castiel to find him passed out over the sofa.

You stand there, staring for a second. His eyes move behind the lids, caught in a dream too vivid to miss out on, his hands twitching ever so slightly every few moments. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought Castiel was just a mere poor travelling man without a roof over his head. But your knowledge rooted in the mysterious, the things you had researched and read as a child, they all told you the same thing in your mind.

This man was not supposed to be a man.

Slowly, you kick off your shoes, and reach over the top of the sofa for the blanket you had made to cover your guest. It was the least you could do, the man had reeked of street filth from the city and things no human should have to smell like. He had seen hell, you could tell, even if you couldn’t quite read his eyes.

You were a gardener, not a doctor, or a psychologist, but sure as hell you knew you needed to contact someone to ask for help. Turning on your heel, you crept away over the floorboards to your phone, dialling the number your mother had left above the phone book for emergencies.

“Hey, Uncle Bobby … I found a guy who might be on your wavelength of weird.”

He grunts something in response, and before you know it, he’s agreed to drive all the way out to see what you have in store for him. It would be the third time in his life he’s driven the distance to visit his sister’s daughter; the first being your birth, the second, the death of your grandfather, and now, for this man. He must be important.

By the time your uncle arrives, the sun has truly set, and Castiel hasn’t moved an inch from where he had fallen asleep hours ago. Uncle Bobby looks as scruffy as always, his familiar scent of leather and old whisky warming your cheeks with memories. He looks quite odd juxtaposed to your flowery, cute home, but he fits right in.

“I know this one, he’s, uh,” he scratches his face, “Castiel. An angel.”

Your eyebrows skyrocket. “You mean - angels are real? Those stories you used to tell me -,”

Bobby nods, cutting your string off. “Yep. I had to wait until a good time to really tell you, _______. It’s not easy telling a little girl that her uncle goes around saving the world with his hunter friends, stopping evil things.”

You laugh. “Well, it’s okay, I forgive you.” you playfully punch your uncle’s shoulder, and glance over your shoulder at the man sleeping on your sofa. “But an angel? What happened? I thought angels are supposed to have wings and, you know, avenge people.”

Bobby sighs. “This one used to, but he’s been stripped of his grace, the, uh, thing which makes him a powerful angel. He’s being hunted at the moment … you don’t think, ______ … ” he coughs into his hand, and over on the sofa, Castiel turns in his sleep. “You don’t think you can hold this forte with him for a week? Just until I catch a hold of the guys who’re supposed to be looking after him right now?” He grits out.

You could refuse. You could be a stone cold wench and throw the poor man out into the cold street with bitter memories of your face. But you’re not going to do that.

“Of course,” you nod, crossing your arms across your chest. “I promise I’ll take good care of him.”

—

“Why are you always in the garden?" 

You tilt your head up, gazing to the front porch. Castiel stands there in his ill-fitting clothes, head turned to take you in from the lower angle. You can’t help but notice that every day he has been with you, you have woken happy and every night fallen asleep with a smile. Now, you wipe your gloved hand across your brow, and think.

"I love to garden. I find comfort being surrounded by flowers and earth,” you confess simply. “Would you like to do some? I’m pulling out weeds.”

Castiel’s frown lightens, moving to join you on the lawn. “Why are you pulling them out? I thought all plants were good.”

You shake your head, and gaze at the thistles you have pulled from your beds. They are small, their pale silver spikes and purple heads too. But they have no place in your garden bed, without disrupting the harmony of the soil. Your mind races for an answer for your house guest and former angel, but instead, your mind stops. 

“Yes, they are good…” you stumble over your words, your cheeks hot from your racing pulse, not the sun overhead, “It’s just that I didn’t plant these ones, they don’t belong here.”

His face pales. “Like me." 

It’s almost like all the air in the world has been stolen, and your lungs breathe empty space and you can hear every sound in the area loud and angry in your ears. No, no, no, no. "No! No, Castiel, not like you!” you splutter. “You - I wasn’t speaking about your grace being lost, no!" 

Castiel is silent.

"I meant it like … the thoughts you have before bed and when you wake, that poison your eyes to see someone in the mirror who looks nothing like the person you used to know,” you gush, “Or like how … demons are places where demons should not be, or that -,”

Your words are ended, and breathless, you gasp, as if taking it all in for the first time in your life. Vision blurry, you can only focus on the dark-haired man before you, and it hits you - he’s kissed you. An angel, a supernatural being, has kissed you.

“I am sorry for assuming I was a weed,” Castiel apologises. His face adopts a rosy blush not too unlike your own, and he ducks his head slightly. “You have been such a gracious host, much better than my friends. I am also sorry if you don’t appreciate the kiss -," 

"Shut up and kiss me again,” you whisper, and like always, he follows through.