#‘No! we both thought he was living with you since you keep collecting kids!’

[nexusnyx]

imagine being loved by me

#NightSkyChallenge: Prompt 6 — The night we said goodbye. [“This is harder than I thought it’d be.”] [2.5k]

— joel miller x f!reader — a/n: this is mostly fluff and angst, hence the lack of warnings. i hope you guys enjoy this even though there's no smut. there are a lot of feelings to make up for that? anyway, i just wanted to imagine being loved by Joel (in the given canon circumstances) and this is what I came up with. enjoy <3

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤmasterlist | part two →

"Eternal tourists of ourselves, there is no landscape but what we are. We possess nothing, for we don't even possess ourselves. We have nothing because we are nothing. What hand will I reach out, and to what universe? The universe isn't mine: it's me," you stop there, uncertain and nervous for more than one reason. "You want me to go on?"

Joel only grunts beneath you, and the palm he has wrapped around your calf starts rubbing there. He's a man of very few words — always has been — but you recognize his cues. Go on, the circles on your skin say. And — "I like it a lot when you read," he speaks, startling you for a second. "'s nice."

Three years since you've been doing this — years, and this is the night Joel chooses to speak his mind.

You grit your teeth and put on a smile, no matter how much it aches to do so. "Look at you, borrowing Pessoa's ability to use words 'n all," you tease.

Joel pinches your inner thigh — a warning.

You take one of your hands out of the book to poke his side — I'm not scared of you. Never was. Never could be.

Even if he's about to break your heart.

You continue reading.

He keeps on drinking it in, and you wonder not for the first time if Joel hears a word that comes out of his mouth or if this is just white noise for him.

I like it a lot when you read.

Inside your chest there's a special place saved only for the things Joel gives you as a gift.

There's no space for material things in the world you live in now. Being a man of very few words, you learned how to read Joel Miller from the moment you met him — a useful skill, one that came in handy over the past few years. People misread him a lot. Mostly because he allowed them to; sometimes because he wanted it that way.

They thought Joel was gruff. Callused.

You knew better.

Joel's body language never lied.

He gifted you things that way — a shrug of his shoulders that hid the fathom of a smile creeping up his face. His furrowed brows pierced together whenever someone spoke in louder tones in your presence. The ghost of his hand hovering over your back in between meetings, or the way he never looked you in the eye before kissing you.

All of them signs. All of them a way for him to communicate.

That was funny. I don't like their tone. I've got your six.

I can't let you see within me.

Joel might as well be an open book.

When Tess introduced the both of you, she said, "Just don't gain expectations. He's like us — lost everything. But he's a decent man, which is more than we can say about half of the people that made it."

A decent man was an understatement.

He was everything and then some in between.

Joel kept it simple when telling you that he and Tess had to leave.

Neither one of them owed you explanations, but they gave you one either way. The three of you ran something together — an illegal, dangerous, and fragile something, but it was yours. Built it from your hands.

They claimed you were the brains.

"You gotta stay," Joel stated. Not a request, and nothing in his eyes that said this is open for conversation. "Marlene gave us very little info. We'll try to make it back as soon as we can."

The implicate we don't know if we'll make it back was there.

You never missed the unspoken words.

"Okay," you agreed, because there was nothing else for you to do.

Tess had left with the kid. She hugged you, giving you the full list of contacts that would be seeing you for things, and said, "Take care of yourself" in the way she always did.

Joel stayed behind to collect what he needed, and because he said a day wouldn't make a difference.

Was it over-confident on your part to allow the fluttering in your chest to take full form after seeing him drop his things on your hardwood floor and ask you to go for a walk? Was it wishful thinking to know he was stealing moments?

The familiar sight of his back gives you comfort as you follow him.

That's the way it's always been — you always knew that one day, you'd see this for the last time.

Maybe it's a small mercy that they're leaving.

It's been years—much longer than you initially thought you'd have, much longer than you prayed for after the first night Joel knocked on your bedroom door seeking the comfort he saw in your eyes you were dying to give him, much longer than you dreamed you would have amidst all the chaos.

He walks through the broken gate and keeps the wire lifted for you to pass.

Those things — the little things no one pays attention to.

"Thanks," you smile at him.

He hums as an answer and keeps walking by your side until you're both on the open field. After checking the area, Joel lays down with a grunt, patting the grass next to him.

That's when you started reading.

He just pulls out the book from his backpack and hands it to you.

Read for me, please.

"From where we left off, or you want me to go back a few?" Sometimes, Joel fell asleep mid-chapter. He liked when you went back a few so he never missed a thing.

He shakes his head. "I was listenin'," he lets you adjust yourself on the tree, and lays with his head on his backpack, pulling your legs over his body. Cradling your calf in his palms. "Go on."

So you do.

The sky is losing its light by the time Joel takes his arm out of his eyes, and puts a hand in front of the pages.

You bookmark it, even if he'll never hear the end of it.

For some reason, you stay quiet with him.

Usually, the silence is filled with you — your ramblings, questions about the world from before, silly musings that he indulges in listening to.

There's something tragic about being alive nowadays.

It's not really living — it's this. Reading between the lines, and claiming your stomach is satisfied because of the crumbs.

Joel's hand caressing your skin was a whole meal.

His eyes on you, above everything else, were like water.

When he speaks, it's gruff. "You gonna take care of yourself while I'm gone, right?"

If one day you held back, today is not it. "I will. Can't undo all your hard work."

He frowns, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon, Joel. It's just us. You and I both know I'd never be alive if it weren't for you and Tess."

"Bullshit. You're the—"

"Brains, I know," you interrupt. "But without the brawn, the brains can't make it that far."

He scoffs at that, and you realize your mistake only when the words are out. "Think we both know nature said that ain't the case anymore."

"Stupid nature," you curse without any heat, and it works. Joel's lip twitches, itching for a smile. "All it's good for is being gorgeous."

"Hm. That'd be you."

Well. They aren't the first nice words Joel's ever said to you, but they make up an even bigger space than everything else. The little box in your chest engraved with J.M. is blanketed in those three little words, and judging by the way he ducks his chin and looks down, Joel noticed his slip up a heartbeat too late.

"Are you gonna take care of yourself?" you ask, nudging his side.

Joel sits up before he answers, taking the place next to you. Then, he spreads his legs and pats the ground between them, and you take the invitation.

Sitting with your back to his chest and his arms around you is your favorite place to be, and something clutches at your throat at the realization this might be the last time.

"I always do," he finally answers.

Your throat is tight, so you place both hands over his arms and pull them tighter around you. "Good," your voice drops to a whisper. "Can't let stupid nature have you."

"She gets us all in the end."

"I know that. I meant before your due time," you insist.

Joel's only half-listening. When he starts rubbing his nose on your hair, tracing the outline of your ears, that means his attention is divided. "How d'you know when's one's due time?"

"Hell if I know. But I know it's not now."

"Yes, ma'am," he plants a kiss on your neck, and you forget words for a while.

Joel always knew how to do that.

He kissed you awake, and sometimes, he kissed you to sleep.

It was common for the two of you to just sit and exist in silence. In a world where there wasn't much space for anything — not for words, or feelings, or relationships, or growth — having this was out of the curve. Having comfort.

He never tensed around you.

When it's just the two of you, Joel's body is the most relaxed; whether it's due to your hands squeezing his muscles or the way you run your palms through his skin to bring him back to himself—he's at ease.

Laid back, shoulders slack. He keeps on leaving kisses across your neck and nape, and you keep your eyes closed, enjoying the proximity. Your nails run through his forearms, and eventually, Joel just stops there in the crook of your neck, breathing slowly.

He asks, "D'you mind if I take your bandana? The purple one?"

Your favorite bandana. His 'lucky charm', as he'd called it once. "No, you can have it."

"You ain't gonna miss it?"

I'll miss you, Joel. A piece of cloth makes no difference in my life. "You need the good luck charm more than me."

"Is that so?"

You scoff, "I'm not the one walking head-first into danger." Craning your neck to look at his face, you lean your head on his shoulder. Joel's face is impassive as always, aside from the little pinch between his brows. "It's your good luck charm, isn't it?"

"It is," he replies, faster than you're used to. A smile grows back on your face. "What?"

"Nothing," you shake your head. "Just — didn't think you'd ever say that again."

He shrugs his shoulders. "'s the truth."

"What made it lucky?"

Joel takes a second with that one. His hand around your upper body finds the collar of your shirt, and he plays with it. He's nervous, and you have no idea why. He shrugs as he says, "Dunno."

Bullshit. "Hmm — something tells me you do."

"Yeah?" he's smiling now.

"Yup," you press, popping the 'p'. Joel stops fighting his smile, and you want to kiss him, so you do. Most of the time, you use restraints around him. Now is not the time for restraint. "Tell me," you plea.

He sighs, the smile still on his face. "That first time I was trying to find alternative routes in and out of the QZ, remember?"

"Yeah."

"So — I'd lost my way. Some Clickers found me and I had to run. Lost my shit—dropped some of the stuff in my bag. I only found my way back 'cause two days later I tried the bridge over the place I got lost at initially and — there it was." Joel's fingertips are tracing your collarbones, and you realize now his body around you is the only thing keeping you from a collapse. "I saw that ugly thing from far, far away."

It makes you laugh — of course he's going to play it cool, make it less of what it is.

You get it. If you had to talk about the things that brought you a sense of home, the only thing that came to mind was the smell of Joel's deodorant mixed with the innate smell of him.

You hide your laugh in his chest, and Joel's hands come up to your nape and the back of your head.

The hurt bubbles up with his touch — you want to drown in your own tears, but he's still here and that would be going before your due time.

"Please be safe." It's rare for you to use the space between the lines, but sometimes you have to.

Please be safe because I need you. Because you've grown inside me. Because the smell of you are vines covering every inch of my ribcages, because every time I wake up and you're lying next to me I remember why we're humans, because Fernando Pessoa might have been right that we possess nothing, but what I am is someone who still knows love.

"I will." Joel heard it all. He pulls your head back to look into your eyes and you see it in his — through the guarded walls of his soul, you get a peak at the man who worries. Who always brings you coffee, who never allowed you to go on dangerous runs, who trusts you to keep his radio codes in case his brother calls for him. You're the lighthouse, he once said. Joel's hand keeps making a mess of your hair, and he looks like he wants to say something, but ultimately, he huffs. "This is harder than I thought it'd be."

"Of course it is," you laugh. "I'm the only one that knows how to make a decent cup of coffee. Or at least, one that you like."

That's when he kisses you.

Because it's true. Not the cup of coffee — Tess can do that as well, even if she never does, but the reality that you're the only one that can and wants to.

The only one who's allowed it.

Living in a world that has no space for living is difficult, but Joel manages to fit the whole human experience in the span of a kiss and some touches.

He's kept you safe, and guarded, and gave you blinks and pieces of the man he once was in return for all that you've given him.

He loves quietly, and kisses hard, and protects with every cell in his body — Joel still loves, even if the word's been burned out of his tongue when he held the most precious life known to him in his arms.

He loves, and you feel it, and you'll miss it.

Joel pulls back with a promise in his eyes that he will be back.

If he isn't, you'll be a moving lighthouse. You'll find him.

☆ join my writing challenge ☆

[livsbrutalitys-blog]

Unfinished business

Pt. 1

summary: you and Rhea have known each other since you were teenagers training at the same wrestling school except only one of you made it to the big screen but now it was time for you both to share that same fate.

pt.2|

trope: enemies to lovers

warning(s): SMUT (eventually), ANGST, swearing, yelling, DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA (lmk if i missed any)

pairing(s): rhea x f!reader, judgment day x reader (not romantic), and more but there’s to many :)

a/n: this is going to be a series, i’m not sure how many parts but this is my first time writing a series or anything like this so please be kind and if you have any helpful advice or tips lmk <3

Backstory

You had moved to Adelaide at the age of 16 to train at this very wrestling school. Luckily you had family that lived in Austrailia and your parents always let you follow your dreams and be your own person. Your first day at the school you had been so nervous slightly second guessing your re-location. Your nerves were suddenly calmed by a hand on your arm. Your head whipped around to see who was behind you.

"Hey my name is Demi, this your first day?" She said with a welcoming smile and her accent thick, it took you a moment to gather your thoughts because the girl that you had just met just so happened to also be the most beautiful girl you've ever met.

"uh-yeah, it's nice to meet you my name is y/n" you said sitting your bag down on the floor against the wall. You stood back up and started putting your hair up in a ponytail to keep it out of your face.

She stared at you like you hung the stares and the moon. You noticed her out of the corner of your eye, not thinking much of it at the time but you took note and stored this moment in the back of your brain.

" good to meet you y/n, can't wait to kick your ass out there" she said smirking at you waiting for what you were going to say. " Your on but be prepared to have your day ruined cause you have no idea what I'm capable of" you said walking close to her, tilting your head up slightly to meet her gaze.

She enjoyed the playful banter, she chuckled walking past you to go meet the trainer. You followed behind her just a few moments later after putting the rest of your things in your bag.

Once you made your way to the group that was training with you the trainer started to speak "Alright ladies and gentleman welcome back to another wonderful day of wrestling, How is everyone feeling today?". The group collectively said 'good', "Great now we are gonna start a little different today since you may have noticed with have a new student joining us today" He said pointing at you quickly, you did a small wave to everyone.

"Okay y/n we are gonna go over some of our basic rules real quick" you nodded waiting for him to speak again. "Rule one, when you are in the training area everyone goes by their ring name so if you have chosen yours, great, if not then get to choosing kid you have a free pass tonight but next session I wanna hear you using your ring name" he said waiting for you to nod or something so he could continue. But, you already had one picked out so you spoke up, "I actually already have one, it's the one I've been using since I was at my last wrestling school" you said in an up-beat tone. "Ok, well, let's hear it" he said impressed that you had already had one and felt confident using it at another facility. "It's y/r/n" you said with confidence, "Alright, sounds good, I like it, it's very original, good job kid" he said with a nod of approval.

"Alright and rule number two, do not and I mean absolutely do not bring your personal life into your wrestling life. You wanna date someone in this group, I'm not one to stand in the way of love but that love needs to say at the door." You nodded agreeing, you never planned to combine the two but it was a great rule to have.

"So, now that all of that is out of the way let's get to kicking some ass!" he said in a more energetic tone. "Y/r/n I want you to start us out, wanna see what you can do and what we need to work on, Rhea I want you in there with her" he said motioning towards the ring and moving out of the way to allow you two to slide in the ring and your now standing just a few inches apart.

You start feeling those familiar nerves build up in your gut. You let out a deep breath shoving those feelings down because it's not like you can walk out of the ring and fly back home now. Rhea noticed the anxious look on your face she mouthed to you as to not draw attention to you "You got this". That's all it took for a strong wave of confidence to wash over you.

"Okay, ladies we are gonna start with some basics" he said instructing you with a strong accent. "Let's go ahead and do some grappling" you waited for his cue to move towards the buff girl ahead of you. You lock up, her hands on your shoulders and yours on her shoulders shoving each other back and forth. Suddenly you dropped to the ground and perfectly executing an arm drag with her landing on her back.

She stood up but for that she smacked the mat in frustration. She was not messing around now, she was in full Rhea mode. You grabbed her arm and swung under it as you twisted her muscular limb. Once you fully up again she turned towards you with a look of discomfort on her face from her arm being twisted in an unnatural direction. In a split second her fist was connecting with your cheek, sending you down to the mat in pain. She wasted no time pouncing on you, grabbing a fist full of your hair in her hands, dragging you back up to your feet. Once you were back up you couldn't think of anything else so you just bitch slapped her. She let go of your hair to put a hand on her face and then glaring back at you. You were totally fucked.

"Alright, alright guys that was good and y/r/n I'm impressed to fair I didn't see a lot but you held your own and that's what I'm looking for" you smiled to yourself not wanting to seem conceited in anyway. Rhea stood behind you leaning in to whisper. "That was good and might I say you have one hell of a slap" she said pulling back with a chuckle. "How about this, you two are gonna have a match right here right now" you looked at Rhea to try and read her to see if she was up to it. "I'm down if you are y/r/n?" she said looking at you waiting for your response. "Of course, how could I pass up kicking your ass. Ripley" you said with a mischievous look on your face and saying the last part with a hint of aggression.

The bell rang and you two were sizing each other up. You made the first move, running to her and kneeing her in the stomach. She stumbled back to collect herself but you didn't let up throwing uncoordinated punches and slaps at her back while she was hunched over. She finally caught one of your hits and you realized you did not think this through. She pulled your arm and slung you into the corner, once you hit the turnbuckle you looked up and she was hurdling towards you and she jumped up and dropped kicked you right in the chest. That blow sent you crumbling to the mat laying there clutching your chest and coughing. She pulled you up and threw your limp body over her broad shoulders carrying back to the same turnbuckle and sitting you on the very top. A surge of adrenaline rushed through you as you slowly sat back up as she was climbing to meet you at the top of the ropes. You used all you strength to push her off. She stumbled back in shock as to how you mustered up the strength to fight back. You waited till she was fully alert again and stood up tall on the top rope you jumped putting all your faith in your aim and in Rhea's ability to catch you. You landed on her shoulders and then slung your body down to send her flying, her doing a messy front flip from all the momentum traveling through her body.

The match went on for about another five minutes and you guys were laid out on the mat. You decided to take advantage of getting up before her. You decided to submit her because all of your pin attempts have failed miserably. You locked in a prism lock, she was writhing below you and you were using all your strength to hold her up eventually you couldn't anymore so you placed a knee on her upper back and twisted her like a pretzel. She finally smacked the mat, giving into your torture.

You dropped her body to the mat and looked down at her. You squatted down to her and leaned your head in to whisper "What was all that talk about you kicking my ass huh?" She groaned and glared up at you. "I'll get you next time" and she wasn't kidding, after that day you guess had a heated rivalry going.

Even though you guys had a serious rivalry going you never hated her and you two knew that the tension and fighting was only improving both of your wrestling abilities.

One day a couple years later you were 21 and Rhea had just turned 22. You two were still training at the same school but now you were training the younger students while also competing in the indie circuit. You had become the the IWJP champion in your time in Japan, and now making your way inside the facility to do some training and teaching later that day. You sat your things down and you were tying your hair up, once it was up you stood up from your crouched position and turned around unexpectedly she was also here. You didn't think she would be here since she had been in the U.S trying out for WWE NXT, you had felt a lot of jealousy towards her for that, it had always been your dream to make it to WWE but she managed to do it before you.

You walked past her with no intention on speaking to her since you knew how you felt and she did to. She saw you walk past and felt a little hurt you didn't at least wave or say a quick greeting. She hopped of the ring apron and made her way over to you. " Aw is someone still mad that I managed to get a try out and they wouldn't even think to reach out to you" she said with a mocking tone, now was not the time for her to be messing with you. Your head slowly turned towards her "You know what Rhea soon the WWE is gonna realize who really belongs there and it's not you. In the meantime I'll be in Japan as a matter of fact across the world gaining more titles while your still just training to hopefully even make it on TV. So, you have fun in states just hoping you make at least one TV appearance I'll be here putting in work and carrying a new title every time you come back" you said glaring up at her and speaking with an aggressive tone. She chuckled at what you said but you both knew she was gonna make it and you were just upset she wasn't gonna be here for much longer. It was true you were gonna miss her even when she destroyed you in the ring.

"You know what y/r/n, your delusional, you'll never see the inside of a WWE ring unless it's from the stands and you paid to be there. I'll be on the big screen and you'll still be here training other people, not even trying to make any of your dreams come true" you were stunned at her sudden aggression but to be honest you were used to squabbles like this with Rhea. You nodded and walked away flipping her off as you were making your way over to the lifting area. She chuckled and went back into the ring she was training in.

Suddenly Rhea's phone rang and you heard it from where you were since the building wasn't that big. She walked over to her back that was on the stairs beside the ring. She quickly grabbed her phone and answered it. You only heard a few yes's and some ok's coming from her but you also saw the nodding of her head but what was most noticeable was the growing excitement on her face as her eyes lit up she said a quick "ok thank you so much, I'll be there in the afternoon tomorrow" her accent thicker than ever caused by the amount of excitement. She hung up and quickly gathered her things, she was quickly making her way out of the building but before that she went up to same trainer she had been working with since she was young girl. You couldn't hear what was said but you saw them share a quick hug and the look on his face was one of a proud father.

You hadn't seen or heard from her in months. You called and texted but to no avail. Where did she go? Is she ok? Can she just please respond to me?

You tried texting her again but gave up hope. You were sat on your couch in your small apartment, you decided to turn on the TV and watch WWE NXT UK. The show started and you weren't paying much attention as you had started scrolling on Instagram. That was until you heard something that caught your attention immediately. The ring announcer was saying her name, you almost thought you were hearing things that was until she appeared on your screen. She looked so different, her hair was short and a light shade of brow, her outfit was dark and edgy. Your mouth hung open as you saw her, you watched the match in shock and a little bit of anger. It was nearing the end and Rhea was going for her finisher, little did you know she took some inspiration from you and locked in your signature prism lock. This bitch really stole my move, you thought. After she won and held her first title a fire was lit inside you and you worked harder than ever to catch her and prove that you deserve to be there too.

Present day

You had been apart of a new wrestling promotion in the US called AEW. It was WWE's biggest rivalry, you were so close but after a few years of working your way up to the top you were finally happy. You were sat on the plane checking your email while waiting to land in the next city, that's when you saw an email that stuck out. It was from your agent, the agent you were kind of forced to get since you were one of if not the biggest female wrestler in the world right now, you held so many titles across the world but mostly in Japan and AEW. You opened the email and it read:

Good morning y/n I hope this finds you well. I have just received a call from WWE management and they really want to talk to you about signing with them. I know how we have talked about making it to the big time and now it's here. The decision is all yours, please call me once you land and we can talk more.

Your hand covered your face in disbelief. Your friends noticed and they nudged you snapping you out of your thoughts. "Hey you ok?" Your close friend Ruby said. "Yeah, I just got an email from my agent s'all " you said glancing at her then back down to your email. "Oh, really, what'd it say?" she said inquisitively "Uh, nothing everything's good, I'm just dramatic" you tried to distract her from earlier by being sarcastic. You felt bad that you couldn't tell her but if you were gonna make the move it had to be done in secret to really keep it a surprise.

You got off the plane and immediately called your agent. You spoke with her for a few minutes and luckily you there wasn't a show tonight because now you were jumping in your rental car and drove for about 2 hours to a city close by to meet with WWE management. You haven't decided if you were gonna leave AEW yet but you wanted to hear what they had to offer. You made it to the arena WWE was performing in that night and went in the back to avoid being spotted by fans or talent.

"Hi, y/n it's great to finally meet you" Stephanie said sticking her hand out for a handshake. "It's great to meet you too, Stephanie, I'm excited to hear what you guys are planning" you shook her hand firmly. You walked behind the powerful woman. You finally made it to her office for the night, "please have a seat, make yourself comfortable, who knows maybe this'll become your new home" she said motioning to the couch as she sat across from you in a comfortable looking arm chair. You chuckled at the last part of what she said, "ok y/n we have a few idea's" she said making her self comfortable and crossing her legs making eye contact with you.

"Alright let's hear 'em" you said looking at her. "So as you might know we have Wrestlemania coming up in a month and I'd love for you to be apart of it. We already have a match going on for the Women's World Title" you nodded and she continued "We want you to start your WWE journey by interfering in the finish of the match. Our title holder is Rhea Ripley." the name sent shivers down your spine. You didn't know she was the title holder since you had stopped watching WWE when you joined the rival company. It had been years since you saw her or heard anything more than a brief mention of her reign of dominance on the women's division.

"I understand you two have a long history" you nodded hiding the look of nervousness on your face. She continued to explain her plan and you liked it a lot. The feelings you had for Rhea had reappeared as she continued to talk. "You know what Stephanie" you pause briefly, "I'm in, let's do this" you said with a wave of confidence washing over you. She looked at you with pure excitement in her eyes. "Alright well I'm glad to hear that, I'm even more excited to have you joining our family your gonna fit in just perfect here" she said as she initiated a quick hug. You hugged her back, you were walking out of the arena and back to your car as you saw something. It was quick but it caught all your attention, you saw a broad figure, backside facing you. She was walking in, she didn't see you thank god. But you surely saw her. She was more muscular than you remember, her hair was black like a raven and her skin was covered in beautiful works of art. The tattoo's she had always talked about wanting to get.

You made the journey back to your designated city for the night and you laid in your bed. You emailed your agent and let her know what happened with Stephanie. Your agent called you and then discussed the next steps. She contacted AEW management and set up a meeting with them. The meeting was happening the next night before the show.

You did your nightly routine and climbed into bed. Your thoughts were all over the place but finally you drifted off to sleep. Once you woke up you hopped in the shower. You got out and got dressed and ready to head to the arena. On your way there you were nervous to tell your management about your decision to leave. You made it to the arena and walked inside, waving at the fans that were camped out at the fence and walked up to few kids that wanted pictures. You always loved talking to the fans because you were human too. You got to the locker room and put your stuff up. You found your agent waiting outside and you two walked to Tony's office and knocked on the door, he answered "come on in" he said moving to the side as he held the door open for you and your agent. After about an hour of discussion, you and the team had devised a plan for your last night. You were gonna drop your title, the AEW TBS Championship, to your long time friend, Julia Hart. You had no problem doing this since you viewed her as a little sister, she deserved the title and you were over the moon that you'd be able to give it to her.

You asked if you could be the one to tell her since you also had to tell her that you would be leaving. You waited for her to get to the arena, "Hi gorgeous" she said in a giddy tone as she hugged you. "Oh, hi, how was your drive" you said happily returning her embrace. "Ugh, I hate being stuck in the car with those guys, y'know, it's like a testosterone overload 24/7" you laughed at her "I'm sorry you had to be stuck in there, buuuuuutttt I have some good and bad news for you" you said to her as she finished putting her things up. She gasped "Someone finally told MJF to shut the hell up!!" you laughed once more as did she "no, no, no, but someone should really do that" you said with a brief pause. "you, my friend" you said pointing at her and taking a step forward "you are going over tonight" you said waiting for her to say something. "OH MY GOD WHAT!" she said jumping up and down with excitement and jumping into your arms. "wait" she letting go of you, "who's putting over" she said confused and you pointed to your self. "WHAT! oh my god, we get to finally have a match together!" she said with more excitement.

You guys had been clamoring for a match together but it always got shut down. Tears threatened to spill as you saw how excited she was. "I can't wait for them to announce you as champion tonight Jules" you said going for another hug. "What? Your dropping your title? To me? NO! You are the greatest champion this promotion has ever seen you cant just drop it to me!" she said with a little anger and a hint of sadness as she got a feeling of what the bad news might be. "Julia you deserve it, you've worked your ass of to get here and it's time for the world to show you some respect" you said convincingly, she nodded as you continued. "Ok now the bad news" you paused glancing to her, "Tonight is my last match" you both became teary eyed, she knew that was coming as soon as you said she was gonna be champion.

"I-i-i can't believe it. Your really leaving?" She questioned you hoping that she heard you wrong. "Yes, and I'm leaving knowing that my best friend is gonna be champion and is gonna continue kicking ass" you said trying to cheer her up. It was part of the business, friends leave and move on to other things, you both knew this very well and understood. "Thank you y/n, Thank you for trusting me enough for you to drop your title to me" she said. You nodded not being able to speak since you were torn up about leaving her.

You made your final entrance with your title, putting on your mean face as you made your way down the ramp. Julia's music hit and she made her was down the ramp and to the ring. The match lasted for 10 minutes, that was 10 minutes of you trying to soak up every last bit of the crowds energy. She finally got the 3 count and rose up off the mat, grabbing the title and holding it high. The show went to a commercial break as the lights dimmed slightly you two embraced each other tightly, not knowing when you'll see each other again. The crowd noticed at the last second and let out a simultaneous "Awe" you held her and pulled away and grabbed her face and whispered to her. "I believe in you, you can do this, keep being you, do what you do best a whoop ass, ok?" you said to her as she nodded soaking up your words of encouragement. "I love you, Jules, if you ever need me, you know where to reach me" you said "Ok, I will and if you need me just call me, good luck, I love you y/n" you kissed the top of her head and pulled away and walked away, out of the ring, leaving her in there alone with her music playing loudly as she held up her title with confidence. She glanced at you making your way back stage, you felt her glance and turned around and waved her goodbye and blew her kiss with a smile at your face feeling proud of her.

You got to your locker room and got ready to leave. You said goodbye to all your friends and acquaintances, you walked out teary eyed. You got back to your hotel and laid on the bed lost in your thoughts as your phone started going off. You grabbed it and unlocked it, your comment section was going crazy with a mix of the fans emotions some sad, some happy, some started speculating what might be going on. None of them guess right though. You plugged your phone up for the night and drifted of to sleep.

You woke up to Stephanie calling you and asking you to meet her in Florida at the PC. You jumped on the first flight out and while you were on your flight you scrolled through Instagram. Swiping through stories and the biggest news on your feed was you and Julia's match last night. You went to her account and saw she posted a heart-felt message that made you tear up a bit. The message ended the way you thought it would, at the bottom it read:

"...But in the end, The house always wins."

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my May 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

We Were Such Fools by kiddle / @bluejeanlouis (98k)

Rule #1: The Rewind Machine cannot be used to change the past, only to experience it. History will reset itself to the original timeline every 24 hours.

On his fiftieth birthday, two things are consuming Harry’s mind: what he’s going to make the kids for dinner tonight, and the fact that his marriage is crumbling at his feet.

So, when his best friend gifts him the trip of a lifetime, Harry chooses to venture off to the summer that set his life on its course—all the way back in 1987, California.

It only took him one summer to fall in love with his husband the first time around. How hard could starting all over really be?

Once Bitten and Twice Shy Series by pinkcords / @pinkcords (60k)

once bitten and twice shy (19k) This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?” Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended. These Stars Will Guide Us Home (41k) And then he’s gonre. Harry watches him take off his shoes, sort his belongings into bins, and keeps watching until he vanishes entirely, around the corner to his gate. Louis doesn’t look back and Harry can’t blame him, certain his expression, body language, entire being would implore him to stay. It would just make it more difficult on both of them. Louis’ always been intuitive like that, strong enough to make the hard decisions that protect both of them. Or Harry lives in New York and Louis lives in Wisconsin.

Cabin Fever by germericangirl / @germericangirl (46k)

“What the fuck is he doing here?“ He asked still looking at him, before he turned back to look at Niall for an answer.

Niall’s mouth fell open and he looked at him with wide eyes "He um changed his mind?“

Harry stared at Niall for a few seconds in silence, before grabbing a bag and walking towards a bedroom without looking at anyone else, slamming the door shut behind himself.

Liam flinched in front of Louis.

“Well I’m happy to see you too.“ Louis mumbled, some of the tension leaving his body. This wasn’t exactly how he thought their first meeting would go. It was quiet for a moment before Louis finally spoke up “Did you seriously not tell him I was coming?“

Or:

One cabin, one bed, two ex-boyfriends. What could possibly go wrong?

You, In Every Color by blueskiesrry / @blueskiesrry (38k)

But then he thinks of the soft curves and sharp angles he had imagined when he first drew up the sketches for the collection, the specific green of fabric he had picked with the thought of how they’d saturate green eyes, the glossy silks and soft velvets he had once pictured sitting delicately against milky skin.

“We’re drunk,” Louis decides on a sigh. “We shouldn’t make any drastic decisions now.”

or: fashion designer louis and his model bf harry have vowed to never work together again, but with the show for louis’ first solo line on the horizon, they decide to give it another shot

We'll Be Alright by ShatteredGlassHouse / @larryislove (36k)

"Lou, I know this-"

"Not plan? Of course, this wasn't planned. Harry, this can't be happening. We can't have a kid. We are not even supposed to be sleeping together."

Harry flinched at Louis' words. He was right, but Louis didn't need to be blunt about it.

"I'm not ready to have kids. I said that when we started this… Relationship," Louis stuttered the last word, trying to find the proper wording.

"Do you think I am? I'm not even twenty-four. You are almost twenty-nine! You're at the age where most people start a family."

"Doesn't mean I want to have one!" Louis snapped.

"Well, it's happening," Harry said, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Be serious, Harry. We can't have a baby. If people find out, you'll be fired."

Harry subconsciously wrapped his arms around his middle. He suddenly felt small. He didn't expect Louis to be excited. This wasn't the best news for their situation, but he thought he'd be happy.

"I know, Louis."

Or Louis is the Captian of Liverpool FC and Harry is one of the team's physiotherapists. They have a secret relationship going but things become complicated when Harry finds out he's pregnant.

Host of a Name by Signofcomfort / @signofcomfort (35k)

Louis leaves the band in the middle of the tour and drops off the face of the earth. Five years later, they might have a chance to meet him. Harry can finally have some answers and tell the truth for the first time.

Cabin on the Bluff Series by juliusschmidt / @juliusschmidt (6k)

Beech Tree in Autumn (1k) Louis walks forward. Harry walks back. And back. And back. Off the two track, through the brush, until his heel bangs against the trunk of a tree. Louis presses further still. Without so much as a, 'hello,' he's kissing Harry, hard and hungry. Mosquito Bites and Cheap Beer (2k) Harry’s careful not to look at Louis as he plays. At least, he starts out that way. But then the sky behind Louis begins to shift, clouds morphing from piles of gold-tinged wool to scoops of pink and orange sherbet. And at some point, Harry forgets-- forgets not to watch. And when he catches himself, it’s fine. Louis’ watching him right back. Sandwiches on the Shady Shore (2k) “You don’t have to do this,” Louis says. It’s hot in the little kitchen, even with the windows open and a breeze blowing in. Harry feels a flush enfold him from the inside out. “I know,” he says. And then, because he’s already showed up embarrassingly early in the day and made Louis a cheese sandwich, he adds, “I wanted to.”

Trust Me to Take You Home by hattalove / @hattalove (4k)

“I made breakfast,” says Harry, and Louis can feel him smile where his face is smushed against Louis’s shoulder blade. “Full English. All for you.” Louis finally opens his eyes, and blinks. “What about the others?” “Asleep,” Harry whispers, “it’s five in the morning.”

or, a clichéd tale of two boys in love and their first valentine's day together.

[carppediem]

I just came across this interview Käärijä gave for an Estonian magazine before the Tallinn gig and thought I'd share it with y'all! He talks about saving money to buy a house, why he quit drinking etc. Also, there are some new interesting things he said about Tommy 👀

Since the article is behind a paywall (and in Estonian) I've put a rough, heavily Google-assisted translation under the cut 👇

There are a few minutes left until the concert. How do you feel?

I feel great, but I'm a little tired because I didn't sleep well.

Did you have a party yesterday?

No party, I'm focused on the European tour. Yesterday was a live in Sweden, from there I flew to Finland at five o'clock in the morning and from there to here. But I'm one hundred percent ready for a show. It doesn't matter how tired I am, I give my best on stage.

You recently released the single 'It's Crazy, It's Party' with Tommy Cash. When Tommy met the members of the band Little Big, they drank a lot of vodka. What did you and Tommy drink?

Haha, I haven't had a drink with Tommy yet.

Not even a Pina Colada?

No. Maybe someday Tommy and I will have a drink, although I don't think he drinks much. And you know, I don't drink anymore either. I stopped drinking a month ago. I need to keep my energy up. When you give as many concerts as I do now, you have to take care of yourself. Drinking and performing hand in hand is extremely difficult both physically and mentally, not to mention how bad it affects the vocal cords. I had the biggest hangover of my life this summer, which put the brakes on my drinking. I went to a music festival with a friend where we drank too much. The next day I had to perform at the same festival. The hangover was so bad that I really didn't know how to get myself on stage with the terrible feeling and the summer heat. But I pulled myself together and did the show. This experience is also one of the reasons why I don't drink anymore.

What kind of person is Tommy?

He is a visionary and very witty - a lot of fun with him. And of course he's cute. I think we have something in common, like we both have our own style. Tommy surprises with crazy outfits: extraordinary hairstyles, extravagant clothing, which are complemented by boleros. In short, insane costumes.

After Eurovision, you started a real concert rally - you gave 51 concerts in the summer alone. Do you want to become a millionaire?

Of course I do! One day I will definitely be a millionaire. I don't keep track of how much money I have in the bank and how much I'm short of six figures. But yes, I'm trying to collect a million euros.

Will the goal be met this year?

No, not yet. It will still take a few years. I've had an insane amount of performances after Eurovision, because I was like a kid in a candy store who wants everything at once, but by now I've drawn the line because I can't perform everywhere. I also set myself a price tag, below which I will not allow myself to go anywhere. If you do 300 shows a year, you're screwed.

What do you spend your money on?

I don't just spend it on pretty things. I have a definite goal in mind - I want to buy a house in Finland. Maybe in the future also real estate in Thailand, we'll see. I don't need a Rolex or any luxury, I don't care about that.

What has been the most difficult thing for you since Eurovision?

Everyone in Finland now knows who I am. It's hard and tiring because I no longer have my own private space at all. I can't just go to the store, to a concert, or to a hockey game, people will immediately come up to me and start taking pictures. I hate when they don't politely ask for permission to do this, but immediately start clicking.

What has been the best?

It's great to see people hear 'Cha Cha Cha' and be happy. Or when they hear the name Käärijä and their face breaks into laughter - it's a powerful feeling. And of course to see how happy my family is about this achievement. And me too!

[stomach-bugg09]

i just love the idea of jake and neytiri both feeling guilty that they didn’t let y/n have as much of a childhood as the other kids since she’s the eldest sibling, and not knowing how to show her that in their new home she could start to relax. and then enter fali who turns her into a pile of goo <3

summary: [y/n] and fali find themselves sharing an unforgettable moment down at the beach.

a/n: short and sweet , but emotional. sure , fali is a really strong warrior and all , but he knows that with [y/n] , he has a different role. this kind of follows the events of the reason i live , but you don’t need to read it to understand. reblogs + feedback are always appreciated !!

tags: @rafeslovergirl @wxnderingthoughts @liyahsocorro @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl @itssiaaax @grierpilots @fleurbeass @23victoria @nyotamalfoy

warnings: fluff, sad, mentions of fali’s injury / bullet wound, kind of hurt + comfort ??

words: 1.3k

save the heart

[y/n] was no stranger to childhood trauma. it’s not that she didn’t love or appreciate her parents for keeping them safe, but she didn’t necessarily have fond memories of her upbringing in a household that was far more secure than it was fun.

of course, there always were moments. moments that were seared into her brain as core memories, scenes that replayed over and over of her father playing in the water with them as children, of her mother singing her songcord, of her siblings playing tag.

but, the good memories could never outweigh the fact that her childhood practically didn’t exist. from the moment she was of age, she began to train. train to become tsahik, train to lead her people, train to be someone that the omaticaya looked up to.

just when she finally reached her full potential, they had to leave.

the only thing in her new life that eased that pain was fali. the way he held her, the way he kissed her, the way his eyes stared at her softly. fali was the only reason that she began to think, maybe this is the reason we left.

fali was the reason she began to believe in the will of eywa again. for a minute there, when everything fell apart, when she was stolen from the life she’d known since the moment she was born, she felt alone.

it was only him that made her understand that the reasoning for eywa’s choices were beyond her understanding.

everyday she was reminded of the way eywa blessed her. every moment she saw fali, every moment she spent with him, every time she melted in his embrace. he turned her into complete goo.

one of those times, however, became a night that she could never forget. it became a memory that sat right next to the fond memories of her father and mother, a memory that warmed her soul at the thought of it.

the two were spending their time on the beach. it was a late night, and even though they were out past curfew, neither could find enough effort to care. it’d been a long week of solving problem after problem due to the battle just days before.

they were not only physically tired, but emotionally tired. the detriment left on the villages was enough to shatter their hearts, enough to reignite the anger in [y/n]’s bones.

not to mention, fali was confined to light work, as much as he hated it. all he wanted to do was help! but, alas, he was still healing from the bullet wound. it was a miracle ronal even allowed him out, although she knew that he would end up going out even if she told him no.

fali was leaned back against a rock, [y/n] curled up against his side to collect the warmth that his body offered. the two watched the waves wash against the shore in front of them, the sound offering a moment of tranquility, something they hadn’t had in a long time.

they didn’t say a single word. what was there to talk about? guilt settled in their guts at the thought of enjoying their time together when so many na’vi were suffering from the loss of homes, the loss of family members. they were so lucky that they could even sit together and watch the waves.

the first thing to spark conversation was a flash of light in the distance.

“woah,” [y/n] breathed out, sitting up as her eyes gazed upon the moonlit sky ahead of them. “did you see that?”

"hm?” fali mumbled, voice tired. “what’d you say?”

[y/n] snorted at his exhausted state. “don’t tell me you fell asleep.”

“no, no,” he muttered, stifling a yawn. a beat of silence, and then, “yes.”

she laughed, eyes not leaving the night sky. “look up,” [y/n] prompted, voice soft in his ear.

fali was quick to follow her directions, eyes widening at the sight of a shooting star. “eywa,” he sighed in awe.

“a shooting star,” she breathed, her fingers brushing lightly overtop his abs. without even looking, she traced the markings of his tattoo, a pattern that she’d grown so accustomed to because of how often she admired its design.

he hummed, a deep rumble vibrating his chest. she smiled at the feeling, eyes closing in comfort. “my father says that they are rocks.”

“rocks?” he raises the muscles above his eyes.

[y/n] laughed softly. “they are moving so fast in space, they appear bright. isn’t that neat?”

“so, even ugly rocks can appear as pretty stars?” fali mused, a down-turned smile appearing on his lips. “it’s like you!”

[y/n] gasped in mock defense, slapping his shoulder. “you are so mean!”

“i kid!” he laughed, leaning his head back against the rock. “you are ugly on the inside and out.”

“says you.” [y/n] stuck her tongue out, her finger poking his side gently. “when you swim through the reef, all the fish swim home so they can avoid seeing your disgusting face.”

fali guffawed playfully. “it’s actually because they’re scared of me.” he raised his biceps, flexing. “i am a mighty warrior!”

“more like a mighty skxwang.”

[y/n] let out a yelp as fali stands up, grabbing her and throwing her body over his shoulder. she beat her hands against his back, laughter flooding her voice as she yelled, “put me down!”

“you must admit that i am the mightiest warrior.”

“i would rather die.”

“as you wish, yawne.”

[y/n] screamed again as she feels her body dump into the cold sea, salty water washing over her face. as she resurfaced, sputtering, fali’s face immediately drops.

“fali,” she growled softly, eyes narrowed at the boy.

“i think i have to go, actually—”

[y/n] launched herself out of the water, limbs flying everywhere as she landed on his back. as rough as she goes on him when they wrestle, she was particularly careful to avoid his injury.

and that’s how the two of them found themselves rolling around in the sand, laughter floating through the breeze. only the crash of the waves drowned them out.

“who is the mightiest?” [y/n] cries playfully, straddling him as she sits atop his back. when he mumbles something quietly, she pauses. “what was that?”

“you.”

“sorry, i can’t hear you.”

“[y/n] te suli neytiri’ite!” he practically yelled, leaving [y/n] clutching her stomach as she rolled off of him, gasping for breath through her laughter.

after her round of giggles subsided, she found herself sprawled out on the wet sand, fali right beside her. she caught her breath, a smile still evident on her lips.

“you are the mightiest warrior,” he teased, turning to look at her. “but even the mightiest warriors need someone to protect them.”

she rose her eyebrows at that. “from what?”

he smiled gently, grabbing her hands in his own. “from herself.”

[y/n]’s joyful expression faltered, eyebrows dropping in confusion. “what does that even mean—”

fali hushed her, bringing her hands to his lips as he pressed a soft kiss to each knuckle. “it means that, no matter how hard you fight in battle, i will forever be here to make sure that you are okay—” he presses a soft hand to her heart— “in here.”

she blinked away rising tears, eyes traveling back to the sky.

“even the mightiest warriors have hearts, yawne.” he scooted closer, arms wrapping around her. “and i think that it is because of their hearts that they are so great. but, we must keep that heart safe, [y/n], or else you will not be so mighty.”

she closed her eyes, whimpering as a tear was sent down her cheek. “i wish it were easier.”

“i know you do. but, that is why i am here. to keep your heart safe. to keep my warrior safe.”

[pedrito-friskito]

strawberry wine - joel miller x ofc!liv stone/fem!reader

during - part twelve

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

joel finally gets his head out of his ass, with a little push from tess.

a/n: we have BIG CONVERSATIONS IN THIS HOUSE FAM. i want to reiterate: i love the canon joel x tess. i live for it. but the drama/angst/emotion it has allowed me to create but backpedaling them SLIGHTLY? delish. enjoy babes, please scream at me about the ending 😇

word count: 5.5k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, drinking, lots of emotions, mentions of canon-typical violence and injuries, mentions of death, joel is both an asshole and an Emotional Man, tess and liv are true bffs and god bless last night’s episode for solidifying some of my plans 🤍

✨I do not have a taglist - follow @friskito-library for updates on future chapters/works✨

“You need to talk to her.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, Joel, you—”

“Don’t tell me what I need to fuckin’ do, Tess. Leave it be.”

“Joel—”

“Please.”

+

You’ve been staying at Deanna’s. Two weeks now, since your stint in lockup, since Angie had beat the literal shit out of you. The couch isn’t comfy, and your ribs are still sore, but it’s fine. 

The kids are happy to have you around. Emily especially, once she got past the bruises on your face. You weren’t expecting Henry’s reaction; when you woke up in Deanna’s apartment the next morning, he was sitting vigil beside you, tears on his face, bottom lip jutting out. You told him you fell down the stairs, trying to get a laugh out of him, and he’d just hugged you, buried his face in your chest.

You try to keep things normal, whatever the fuck that means anymore. You take on extra jobs, trying to earn more ration cards for the three living in your apartment. Tess shadows you, follows you around every day, and you tell her your secrets, point out your routes, the soldiers you have dirt on, the ones you know not to fuck with.

“She’s the one that beat you?” she asks one day, jutting her chin towards Angie. You’re standing in the warehouse that serves as the food bank, waiting in line. You’ve had a heartbeat in the bruise on your cheek since you woke up, and standing ten feet from the woman who gave it to you isn’t exactly helping. 

You disguise your nod as a stretch, wincing at the pull on your ribs. Deanna was sure you hadn’t broken any, but you sure as hell were bruised. They didn’t look as bad as your cheek, but the pain was deeper, and seemed intent to linger longer. “Yeah, that’s her.”

Tess sneers in her direction, and you have to stifle your laugh. “Fucking bitch.”

You like Tess. You really like her. She’s a hard ass, but rightfully so, given the history. She hasn’t given you much more of her past, and you’re definitely not about to offer up any of yours, but the friendship between you is quick. You’ve skirted the Joel subject so far, despite the fact that they’re literally sleeping in your bed. Most of your conversations have been about the QZ, the inner workings, your smuggling. You have a job coming up, and Tess has already said she’s coming with you.

“I doubt Joel will be thrilled about that.”

“Joel can fucking shove it.”

She hasn’t been shy about her displeasure towards him, but it hasn’t done much to change things between you. You went down to grab some clothes a few days back, and he’d been the only one inside. Tess was out exploring, and Tommy had gone with her.

He didn’t say a goddamned word.

You’d managed to hold back the tears until you were back in the hallway, but you sobbed so hard you thought you actually were going to crack a rib. And on the other side of the door, you heard the radio flick on, assumedly to drown out your noise.

You nearly put your boot through the wall.

You move up a few places in line, and reach into your pocket, pulling out the ration cards you’ve collected. It’s worked out okay; you had some stashed to begin with and you were able to pull a few jobs after you got back on your feet. But Tess is adamant they’ll pay you back, despite your protests.

“First job I take,” she says to you, jutting her chin towards the stack in your hand, “you get half.”

You shake your head. “I told you, it’s fine.“

“It’s not,” she replies, her tone determined. “It’s the least we can do, after what you did for us. Hell, I should give you back double for putting up with the bullshit Joel’s been throwing at you.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” she repeats, and grabs your arm, turning you towards her slightly. “I’m not fucking okay with this. I need you to get that. He needs to talk to you. You need to talk to him.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me, Tess,” you say, toying with a corner of a ration card. “I have to respect that.”

“And he should give you the same courtesy,” she says as you move up again. “You need to talk this out. He can’t keep putting up brick fucking walls; you deserve more respect than that. You put your ass on the line for us, and got the shit kicked out of you. History or not, he owes you. I’ll lock you two in the same room if I have to.”

“Hah,” you scoff, lifting your brows. “I’m sure he’d love that.” 

She goes quiet as you reach the front of the line, handing over the cards. The woman working the table slides a crate of food across to you a second later, along with two jugs of water that Tess reaches for. It’s not until you’re back outside that she speaks again.

“I want us to be friends,” she says, and the tone in her voice makes you pause, stopping in your tracks. “I like you, Liv; you’re strong as hell. Brave. Best damn smuggler I’ve ever seen. I just…I need you to understand, me and Joel, it’s nothing close to what I had with Nate, or what he had with you. I know that. I get that. We laid out ground rules from square one. It’s a…” She trails off, searching for the right word.

“A comfort,” you provide.

She nods. “Yes. And I…if I had a second chance with Nate? If I walked down this street tomorrow and saw him walking through that fucking gate, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to—” She stops, clamps her hand over her mouth and you almost jump when you see the tears in her eyes.

“Tess.” She blinks hard, waving a hand at you, and in an instant, the badass demeanour has returned, if not doubly so. You continue, “If he’s a comfort to you, I can’t be the person that takes that away. He’s not mine to take. Especially not if he doesn’t want me back. It’s okay. You can’t force his hand in this.”

She eyes you, chewing at her thumbnail before, “Maybe I can.”

You shake your head, hefting the crate of food higher on your hip. “Let’s take this back.”

+

The doorknob jiggles, and Joel’s head snaps up. He’s sat on your couch, some book about woodworking in his hands, a mostly abandoned glass of whiskey on the table in front of him. Tommy’s at the kitchen table, bent over a map, trying to figure out the path they’d taken, all the way back to Austin. “I’m just curious,” he’d said when Joel had asked, his voice almost clipped. Joel hadn’t pushed any further.

The door swings open, revealing you and Tess, a crate of food on your hip, Tess carrying jugs of water. Joel gets to his feet, wanders towards the kitchen, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. Tommy gets up immediately, takes one of the jugs from Tess. She starts putting stuff away, and you step closer to the table, digging in the pocket of your coat. “Exciting news,” you say, pulling out a key ring with three keys on it, dropping it onto the table. “Moving day.”

“We’re not going far, are we?” Tess asks over her shoulder.

“No,” you reply, pushing a hand through your hair before shucking off your coat. “One floor up, few units down. Besides, you know where to find me.” Joel catches you glance his way, but it’s short-lived, you turning away a moment later to help Tess put the rest of the food away. “I saw they have a posting for a handyman in the building, one for the apartment across the street too,” you say, putting away a box of instant mashed potatoes. “Unit maintenance and stuff like that, thought you boys might be good for it.”

Tommy nods, enthusiastic. “Sounds good to me.” He glances at Joel over his shoulder. “Gotta get started paying you back what we owe you, Liv.”

You wave a hand, and Joel sees Tess give you a pointed look. “Listen, all of you. We’re square, okay? I mean it. I’m just…I’m glad you’re all here. Safe. That’s all that matters to me.”

Joel can’t hold his tongue. “That soldier beat you half to death.”

“Oh, you noticed?” you throw back, and the guilt simmers in his gut. “We’re square,” you repeat, leaning against the kitchen counter, hip cocked, arms crossed over your chest. A mirror of Joel’s stance. “But there’s something I wanted to bring up to the three of you. Tess and I have already talked it over, and I’ve done okay for myself given the circumstance, but I could use you, all three of you.” Your eyes flick from Tommy to Joel and back again, so quick he nearly misses it. “It’s a risk, I won’t lie, but I’ve got dirt on half the soldiers in this QZ. And I know exactly what to give them to keep their mouths shut.” 

“You already know I’m in,” Tess says, bumping her hip into yours. There’s a tiny grin on your face, the bruising along your cheek pinching slightly. “There are still connections from Baltimore we can use. Between the four of us, we could be living like kings, for a change.”

You nod. “Either way, it’s an offer. I trust you all enough that you’ll keep it secret, but if you want in, my door’s always open.” You pause. “But I do want my keys back.”

“I’m game,” Tommy says, leaning back in his chair. “You tell me where and when, Liv, and I’m there.”

“Same,” Tess agrees, “but we’re still paying you back.”

Joel can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Are you out of your damn minds? Both of you?” He stares at Tommy when his brother turns to face him, glances at Tess when she steps forward and plants her hands on the kitchen table. “We just got safe again, and already you want to put that in jeopardy?”

Tess scoffs, and the sound makes Joel blood boil. There’s too much happening. The guilt never leaves, but seeing you, hearing your voice, it makes it that much worse, and Tess looking at him like he’s a fucking idiot doesn’t help matters.

“We pulled a lot of bad shit to stay alive out there, Joel,” she says, her tone stern. “Baltimore was no different. I highly doubt a bit of smuggling is going to fuck with our reputations.”

“Your records are clean,” you offer, your voice placating. It makes the hair on the back of Joel’s neck stand on end. “When Cowan brought you through, he wiped them. Tommy’s is already clean, otherwise they wouldn’t have let him through to start with.” You lift your hands. “It’s just an offer, Joel.”

How have you managed to make his own name feel like a punch to the gut?

“I’ll show you to the apartment,” you say, grabbing the keys off the table, putting a hand on Tess’s shoulder. “You guys can talk it out. There’s no pressure. I’ve got a job in a few days, and—”

“I already told you, I’m going with you,” Tess says, and Joel’s brows raise.

“Tess—”

“Shut up, Joel.” She turns towards the door. “Let’s go.”

You swallow, hard enough that Joel can see your throat bob from where he’s standing. Tess grabs her jacket, gestures at Tommy to do the same, and his brother gets to his feet. You hold open the door, and Joel follows Tess and Tommy out. He tries to catch your eye as he walks past you, but your gaze drops to the floor.

Their unit is one floor up, three down from yours. You unlock the door before handing the keys to Tess, let it swing inwards. It looks about the same as yours, save for the floral wallpaper. It’s a bit bigger, an actual separate bedroom, another bed tucked in one corner, a room divider that’s seen better days blocking it off. He’s surprised, almost, that there’s furniture, even blankets on the beds, and follows his brother inside. Tess wanders, and you hang in the doorway, leaned against the jamb.

“I found some stuff at the donation warehouse,” you say, scratching the back of your neck. “People will leave all kinds of shit down there, stuff they don’t need. The mattresses aren’t great, but I cleaned them best I could, and there’s some clothes too.” Joel turns to look at you, and your eyes move away from his again. “And, if you’re game for smuggling, when knows what else we might find.”

Tommy walks back over to where you’re stood, slings an arm around your neck, pulling you against him. “You’re an angel, Liv. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you reply, leaning your head against Tommy’s chest, and Joel ignores the zip of…is that jealousy surging through his gut? Fuck.

But it turns into guilt just as quick, makes something mean bubble out of his mouth before he can stop it. “You shouldn’t have done this.” He doesn’t look at you, not directly, but from the corner of his eye, sees you balk, flinching slightly.

“Joel,” Tess chides, walking over to the door, pulling you out of Tommy’s grip and into a hug. “We owe you, I mean it.”

Joel watches, as you hug Tess. Your eyes flutter shut, your hands hooked around her shoulders, your brow pinched slightly. God, how many times had this thought crossed his mind? How many times had he wondered if the two of you would get along?

How many times had he dreamt of merely seeing you again?

Yet here he is, fucking it up harder than anyone ever could have imagined.

“I’m gonna go,” you say, jutting a thumb over your shoulder. “Tess, I’ll see you tomorrow?” She nods. “And Tommy, you can ask Sergeant McCoy about the handyman gig. He’s a decent guy.”

Then your eyes turn to Joel. He meets them, looks back at you, feels the guilt so thickly he’s convinced it’s replacing his blood. He thinks he hears you say his name, but then your wrench your eyes from his, disappearing from the doorway. His feet move of their own accord, propelling him towards the door, but he stops short, hands swinging at his sides.

Tommy claps him on the shoulder. “Brother, I love you, but you’re a fucking idiot.” He turns to Tess. “I’m gonna go check on her.”

Tess just nods, and the door shuts a moment later. It’s just the two of them, and Joel can already tells he’s about to be on the receiving end of Tess’s anger.

“Sit, Miller.” She points to the kitchen table. It’s not much different than yours, though there are no maps spread across the surface. “You can’t keep doing this shit.”

“Tess, don’t—”

“No, shut the fuck up,” she cuts him off, her hand flexing in the air. “You’re gonna sit there and you’re gonna listen, you understand? Please.”

Tess doesn’t often say please.

Joel swallows hard. “Fine.”

“You need to go after Liv,” she says, the words blunt, laying her hand flat on the table. “You can’t keep pushing her away and treating her the way that you are. You can’t keep doing this to her.”

“I have to,” he replies, the words quick, half-hearted. An excuse.

“No, you don’t,” Tess throws back, just as quick.

“You—”

“We’re done,” she says, cutting him off again. “You and I. It was just stress relief, right from the beginning. I know that, you know that. Nate was gone and you were there and I…” She shakes her head, lifts her hand to her mouth and bites her knuckle before continuing. “If I had a second chance like this, a second shot, goddamn, I would have dropped you so fast your head would’ve spun.” She actually laughs. Her eyes are big and wet, but no tears fall. “She loves you, Joel, and you love her. I knew it from the second you saw her at the gas station. It’s not—”

“Tess—”

“Listen to me, Joel. If I turned a corner tomorrow and saw Nate right there in front of me, there’s not a force on this whole fucking planet that could keep me from him. So why are you doing this to her? To yourself?”

He goes quiet, for a long moment. Stares down at the table top, digs his nail into the grain of the wood. “You said it yourself, Tess. We did a lot of bad shit out there to stay alive. I’m not…” He shakes his head. “I’m not who she remembers, who she loved before.”

Tess reaches out and grabs his hand, squeezes his fingers tightly. “Joel, the fucking world ended. I didn’t know her before, but I highly doubt that the Liv I know now was the same before the outbreak. We do what we have to, to survive. She put her life on the line for us, without batting a fucking eye. The least you can do is talk to her.”

“I can’t—”

“You can. What do I have to say to get it though your thick fucking skull, Miller? Second chances like this don’t just happen. If I had one, I sure as hell wouldn’t squander it the way you’re so hellbent on doing. So don’t.”

“Tess—”

“Please.”

Tess doesn’t often say please.

Slowly, Joel gets to his feet, and Tess follows suit. He’s not quite sure what to do next, but then she grabs the front of his jacket, hauls him against her, throws her arms around his neck. He hugs her back, mouth pressed to the curve of her shoulder.

“And I don’t wanna hear any more shit about not joining forces with Liv,” Tess says softly. “We’d be fucking fools not to.” She claps him on the shoulder, pulling away. “I’ll see you around, Joel.”

“Bye, Tess.”

The doorknob is cold when he reaches for it, and Tess doesn’t say another word as he steps out into the hall, pulls the door shut. His feet seem to carry him down the hall on their own. He heads down the stairs, faintly hears Tommy’s voice calling after him as he heads down towards the lobby. 

“Joel, where you going?”

It’s still a few hours until curfew, the sky still light, though dark clouds are gathering over the city. The moment he’s out the main door, he’s sprinting, running as fast as his legs will carry him. He’s pushing past people on the street, boots scuffing on the pavement, mumbling apologies when he almost crashes into someone. 

He just keeps going, arms pumping once he’s through the crowds of people trying to get home. He has no idea where he’s going, but he just keeps going, on and on and on until he finds himself standing in the same alleyway you’d lead him and Tess through, when you’d smuggled them inside.

What the fuck is he doing?

The rain starts slow, a few drips pelting his shoulders, the back of his neck. He tips his head back, stares up at the ominous dark clouds, hears the rumble of thunder in the distance. Joel lets his eyes slip closed, hands loose at his sides.

In a flash, it’s a downpour. He’s soaked in a matter of seconds, rainwater seeping through his hair, wetting his scalp. It runs down his cheeks, sneaks beneath the collar of his flannel, gathers in the hollow of his throat.

She loves you, Joel, and you love her. 

Tess is right. He knows she’s right. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, he always knew in the back of his mind that if he found you again, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself away from you. Everything he’s been doing, everything he’s said since you mentioned Sarah, it’s been…survival. Fear, that if he lets himself have you again, he’ll just lose you, like he lost her. That someone or something will take you from him.

Tommy told me. About Sarah. Joel, I’m so sorry, I just—

It hurts. The memory makes panic and fear surge through him, every single time. Makes his heart beat faster, his hands clench into fists, sweat at his hairline. But you don’t know that. How could you? He hasn’t told you, hasn’t let you in, hasn’t done anything but try and stay as far away from you as possible.

He can’t keep doing this. He knows that. When he closes his eyes, he still sees those tears on your face, at the gas station. The bat in your hand, the bravery in your eyes. You weren’t the same person he’d fallen in love with back in Austin. But you’ve survived just as hard as he has, and you lived. You’re alive.

I’ll find you, baby.

He swore to you.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Joel says the words aloud, towards the sky, to the dark clouds still pouring down on him. “Fuck.”

He turns on his heel and sprints back up the alley. The rain isn’t letting it up, pelting his face, soaking his hair further. He pushes his way back through the crowds, takes the same random path he’d just run in reverse, back to the building.

Back to you.

He takes the stairs two at a time, ignoring the way his knees are shouting in protest. He’s out of breath by the time he skids to a stop in front of your door, bangs his fist on the wood. “Liv!”

“It’s open,” he hears you call from the other side, and twists the handle, pushes the door open. You’re sitting at the kitchen table, rubbing at your forehead, a bottle of whiskey not far from reach. Your gaze lifts slowly, but then your entire expression changes when you see him standing there in the doorway. “Joel? What’re you do—”

“I wanna talk to you,” he says, the words coming out in a rush. His heart is hammering in his chest. He steps through the doorway, shuts it behind him. “Please.”

“Why are you wet?” you ask, your eyes narrowing, but then you shake your head, waving your hands. “Doesn’t matter. What…you wanna talk?”

“I do.”

“About what?”

He heaves a breath. “You. Me. Tess, she—”

You lift a hand, your expression turning defeated, and reach for the whiskey. “It’s fine, Joel. I get it. It’s not like I expected you to wait around for me or anything like that, but just for the record, it’s not reason enough to avoid me like the fucking plague.” You take a swig from the bottle, tearing your eyes from his.

“I’m sorry,” he says instantly, and takes a step towards the table. You lower the bottle, slide your gaze back to his. “About all of it, Liv. Please. I just wanna talk you.” 

He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, shakes the water from his fingers. You don’t say anything when he shrugs out of his jacket, hangs it on the hook near the door, settles into the seat across from you. He points towards the whiskey, and you slide it across the table to him. The liquor burns on the way down, but the warmth that follows helps with the chill from the rain.

You lean back slightly in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest, staring him down. “You wanna talk, Miller,” you say, and part of him wonders how much you’ve had to drink already. “Then talk.”

He takes another long swig of the whiskey. The noise the bottle makes as he puts it back down seems to echo through the apartment. “I’ve been an asshole,” he says, his gaze dropping to his lap, “since the gas station. I’ve been trying my goddamn best to push you away, and I just…” He lifts his head, lets one hand rest on the table, an olive branch between you. “I’m sorry.”

“You said that already.”

“Liv, I just…I did some terrible shit out there, to stay alive. I’m not the same. But I know you aren’t either.”

“We all do terrible shit to stay alive, Joel.” You huff a little laugh. “It’s just the way of the world now.” You drag a hand over your face. “Besides, you are the only thing I have left,” you say, and Joel’s heart jumps into his throat, “from before.” You blink hard, and he can see the tears gathering along your lashes. Everything in him wants to vault the table separating you and just hold you. “I was gonna leave Boston. Before they put up the wall, when all that was standing in my way was a fucking chain link fence. I was gonna leave. Then Cowan calls the Austin QZ, asks about my family, and there’s no record of my sister, no record of you, but my parents…”

You trail off, shaking your head, squeezing your eyes shut. You wipe at your cheeks, and lay your hand on the table, inches from his. Joel’s fingers twitch.

“What happened?”

“FEDRA levelled Austin, when it was overrun. My parents were in a shelter, when they dropped the bombs, and no one survived.”

Joel balks. He remembers, that night, the outbreak. He remembers Tommy’s truck barrelling down the road, down the main drag where the hardware store was. He remembers flames pouring out of the storefront, shattered glass and the way the awning had caught fire. He remembers praying to whoever the fuck was even bothering to listen anymore that your family was okay.

“So you stayed.”

You nod, fingers tapping on the table. “I stayed. I got lucky, really. Dean got me good, before I…” You trail off, rubbing at your shoulder. “They were killing anyone who was injured, shooting them point blank in the streets. I just ran, and nearly a week later, when the soldiers stopped me at the fence, I was still me, and Cowan made sure no one saw my injuries, had Deanna treat me. Left a nasty fucking scar.” You squeeze your shoulder, pulling your eyes from Joel’s. “I never stopped wanting to go looking for you, Joel. Not once. I just—”

He shakes his head, flexes his fingers on the tabletop. “It doesn’t matter, Liv. You did what you had to, to stay alive. We all did.” He swallows hard. “When did it happen? With Dean.”

You grab the bottle, turning fully to face him, your other hand still planted inches from his. “Outbreak day. It’s funny, actually, I had just been on the phone, with you, you remember?”

Joel lets himself smile, the conversation rising to the surface of his mind. “We wished each other happy birthday.”

“We did,” you agree, and take a swig. “I just got home, and Dean was…he was just standing there, in the bedroom, staring out the window. He didn’t notice me, not at first.” You shake your head, letting go of the bottle, rubbing your fingers across your forehead. “I shouldn’t have done it, looking back, but I didn’t know, and I…I called his name. He turned, and he looked at me with that…that dead look they have, you know? And then…then he started running at me, and I knew something was wrong. I kept the bat right by the bedroom door, and when he came at me, I just…swung. Until he stopped.”

You grab the bottle again, and Joel flexes his pinky wide, until it grazes yours. Your eyes drop to the table. “You protected yourself, baby.”

It’s like everything in the apartment shifts, as the endearment rolls off his tongue. He doesn’t mean to say it so soon, but everything in him is aching to comfort you, the feeling tenfold after being stuffed down for so long. Why did he put you through this? Why did he put himself through this?

Your eyes are watery when they lift to his again. “I never should have left Austin, Joel,” you say, and slide your hand across the table, settling it on top of his, your palms pressed together. “I never should have left you.”

“I’m here now,” he says, letting his fingers curl around your wrist. His heart races when you do the same. “It doesn’t matter. None of it.”

Your thumb slides across his pulse, and your eyes flutter shut for a moment before they meet his again. There’s fire in your eyes, one he hasn’t seen in a long, long time. “What are we doing here, Joel?”

His brow pinches. “What d’you mean?”

“This is the ultimate second chance,” you say, and he can’t help his chuckle, “and we are royally fucking it up.” He keeps laughing, and you dig your nails into his skin, making him yelp. “It’s not funny, Joel!”

“I know, I know,” he says, his tone going apologetic. “It’s just…you and Tess get on well, don’t you?”

You scoff a little laugh, nodding. “She’s a badass.”

He juts his chin towards you. “So are you.”

“I get it,” you say, pulling your eyes away. Your hand stays where it is. “The two of you, it makes sense. I…I was with Cowan.” You make a face. “Am with Cowan? I don’t know. It’s just…comfort, I guess, but now, it…”

Joel can’t help but bristle slightly. “He’s helped you all these years?”

You nod slowly. “Hasn’t ratted me out, got me out of some pretty deep shit once or twice. But he’s not…” You nail him to the spot with your stare, leaning forward slightly, sliding your hand up his arm until it’s wrapped around his forearm, resting in the crook of his elbow. “He doesn’t come close, Joel. Dean, Cowan, they’re just…” You shake your head. “They’re nothing, compared to you. I could never love anyone else the way I loved you.” You pause, chew your lip. “Love you.”

“Liv—”

“But I won’t get between you and Tess, I promise. I like her, and you and me, it doesn’t—”

“Tess broke things off,” he says, and your eyes go wide. “She was right. I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing, pushing you away, thinking it was easier that way. I don’t want to stay away from you anymore. I can’t stay away from you.”

“So don’t.”

“You just said you and Cowan—”

“It doesn’t fucking matter. None of it matters.”

Joel’s brain stalls, for a moment, seeing the flare in your eyes. He gets up slowly. Your hands move to your lap as he rounds the table, pulls you to your feet. There’s only inches between you, the air turning thick with tension. “Say it again,” he says, his voice hushed, almost a whisper.

You close the distance, stepping into his arms. His hands slip beneath the hem of your sweater, resting on your jean-clad hips, and Joel inhales deeply when your palms slide up his biceps, rest on his shoulders, one hand slipping up the back of his hair, wet curls twisted between your knuckles. 

“Don’t stay away from me,” you murmur, tugging lightly at his hair, until his face is angled with yours. He can smell the whiskey on your breath, see the remains of the bruise on your cheek. He can feel your heartbeat, wild against his own, your chest against his. “Be with me, Joel, please.”

Your voice cracks on the please, and that’s what gets him. The tension snaps, and he can’t hold back anymore.

There’s no hesitancy in it. It feels like he’s kissing you for the very first time all over again — feels like he’s seeing you for the first time all over again. The press of your mouth is hot and wet, a tiny mewl falling from your lips to his as you hold him to you, your fingers tightening in his hair. He kisses your bottom lip, then the top, sinking his teeth into your flesh, pulling more tiny noises from you. God, he’s fucking missed you, so goddamned much.

You chase him when he pulls away, grabbing his lower lip between your teeth, making him groan into your mouth, giving you a hungrier kiss the second time round. He pushes you backwards, your boots tangling with his and suddenly you’re a heap of limbs on the ground. You actually laugh and Joel kisses the sound right out of your mouth, licking his tongue along the seam of your lips.

The motion makes you whimper, adjusting yourself beneath him until your thighs are spread either side of his hips, your boots planted on the ground. Everything in him feels white-hot, and he can’t stop kissing you, making up for lost time, pouring his apologies into his kisses, memorizing the way you feel and taste now.

“Joel,” you gasp out when he slides his hand along your jaw, tilts your head back on the wood floor, noses his way down your throat.

“Yeah, baby?” he murmurs into your skin, inhaling you deeply, kissing at your pulse.

“Take me to bed.”

PREV | NEXT

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : SCARES AND LAUGHS

A/N : Requested by anon. The kids are about 16-17 years old here.

Jack was running up and down trying to find the perfect gift to get you. Flowers were already delivered as usual. He couldn’t do another car since you demanded not to. He felt like you had enough jewelry, jewelry that you barely even wore.

Luckily Mia came in with the perfect idea, plus she knew you like the back of her hand and she knows how much you love perfumes, candles and you were actually looking into collecting the original Monster High dolls.

“Mia, where is the link to that perfume she wanted?”

“I don’t have the link, but just look in her laptop. She was literally looking through it last night.” Mia yells from her spot on the couch.

Jack groans and makes his way to your home office in search of your laptop. After he made the order he made a quick use of your office restroom and as he’s washing his hands he freezes.

“What the?” He gasps out. “No way.” He takes the item and runs upstairs.

“BABE.”

“Jackman, keep it down please.” You whisper yell.

“Sorry.” He looks down on the bed, then back at you. “But you left something downstairs.”

“What?”

“This.” He pulls it out and hands it to you. “Babe, how are we going to handle all of this?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“This is too soon, I mean I love the idea about it but it’s too soon.”

“Jackman, that’s not mine.” You glare. “I’m not even healed completely, so there’s no way I would let you bust it open.”

Jack nods, “Yeah you’re right.”

“Seriously Jackman? We literally just came home with them.” You rock one of your babies in your arms.

Jack reaches for the other baby, “So who does it belong to? Because Ezequiel hasn’t been bringing girls over and Mia-“ He stops mid sentence. “She fucking didn’t.”

“Jackman.” You warn, standing up from the bed and placing your baby in the bassinet. “You don’t know that’s hers.”

He glared at you. “Is it yours? Because it’s definitely not mine or our sons. So it must be Mia’s since she’s the only other girl here.” He goes and lays down the other baby in their bassinet and grabs the baby monitor.

“Hear her out first, let her explain.”

“Our seventeen year old daughter might be pregnant and you’re telling me to let her explain? What’s there to explain? She’s having unprotected sex so that means she has a boyfriend, a boyfriend we haven’t met.” He snaps and makes his way out of the bedroom.

You quickly follow behind him, “Jackman, please handle this the right way.”

“Yes, whatever.”

You’re both at the bottom of the stairs in the living room now. You're behind Jack, biting on your lip from nerves, looking at your daughter.

She finally looks up and notices you both there so she instantly furrows her eyebrows. “Uhh, is everything okay?”

“I don’t know, is it? Do you have anything to tell us?” Jack replies snarky.

“Nooo?” Mia looks confused as ever.

“ALIZE MIA HARLOW.” Jack raises his voice a little bit. “You better start talking, now.”

Mia sits up on the couch. “I’m lost, what is going on?”

“Baby bug, everything is going to be okay.” You go sit next to her and hug her.

He snaps, “Do not baby her right now Y/N.”

“Jackman, you do not tell me what I can or cannot do with my babies.” You snap back.

“Please don’t fight, just tell me what’s going on.”

“This is what’s going on.” Jack shoves the pregnancy test at her. “Were you planning on hiding this? That’s why you’re asking to move to LA?”

“What?” Mia asks, shocked.

“You’ve been caught, stop acting surprised.” Jack rolls his eyes.

“It’s- it’s not mine I promise.”

“Baby, it’s okay.” You tell her.

Mia shakes her head, “I- I thought it was yours that’s why I left it and didn’t say anything. But it’s not mine.”

“Mia, stop lying.”

“Dad, I’m not I would-“

“IT'S NOT YOUR MOTHERS, SO WHO DOES IF BELONG TO? DO WE HAVE GHOSTS OUT OF A SUDDEN?” He yells.

Mia shrugs, “It’s not mine.”

“Stop with the lies-“ You all look up at the sound of a door opening.

“Hi, I forgot something in Nina’s office bathroom.”

You smile, “Go ahead mama.”

She nods, looks at Mia confused but keeps walking, not wanting to get involved in whatever is happening. But Jack realizes something right away.

“CASSANDRA JACKMAN HENRY WYATT, STOP RIGHT THERE YOUNG LADY.”

Cassie stops and laughs, “Tio Jack Jack, please be serious because that’s not even my name.”

“It is when you’re in deep shit.” He raises his eyebrows.

“What did I do?”

“You know damn well what you did and what you forgot inside that restroom.”

Cassie goes wide eyed “Nino-“

Jack shakes his head “No, don’t try to sweet talk me. That puppy dog look will not work on me.”

“But I can explain.”

He nods, “You bet your ass you’re gonna explain.”

Cassie fidgets with her bracelet but stays quiet, Jack goes to sit down on the couch, looking at his goddaughter waiting for her to start talking. “Explain.”

Cassie takes in a deep breath “Okay so Me and EZ-“

“ANGEL EZEQUIEL HARLOW GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW!” Jack yells, standing up.

“He was making a run for it.” Comes from the entrance “What did this rascal do now?” Clay asks, pulling Ezequiel inside the house from his shirt.

“You got Cassie pregnant? She’s like your sister.”

“WHAT?”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Copelan and Sunni are walking in as well.

“Tio, I was going to say Ezequiel and I went to a clinic. He came with me for support, no way would we cross that line.” Cassie shakes her head.

“Cassandra, honey.” You stand up and go to her, you hand her the test you took from Mia. “I think you need to look at this.”

She looks down to it and shrugs, “I took it earlier and I saw it already, I was crying, scared for my life so Ezequiel recommended we go to a clinic and get a second confirmation because he apparently knows these at home tests aren’t legit.”

“So are you pregnant or not Cassandra?” Jack asks.

“No, they confirmed and said I’m not pregnant and I actually got my period as we were leaving the clinic.”

“Damn, I can’t believe you thought I got her pregnant.” Ezequiel gags. “

“Shut up.” Cassie rolls her eyes. “You wish.”

“EWWW NO.”

Sunni pinches EZ’s cheeks, “He’s too busy crushing on Victoria.”

Cassie gags, “She’s a bitch and I don’t know how you like her so much.”

Mia rolls her eyes from her spot on the couch and looks at her dad. “I believe I deserve an apology.”

Jack nods, “I’m sorry baby, I just panicked which isn't an excuse. Just the thought of my oldest daughter getting pregnant.”

“No offense to you and mom, but you guys having newborn twins who cry and poop all day, it isn’t fun and I wouldn’t want to do that right now.”

“Cassandra, you know you have to tell your parents right?”

“But Tio, I don’t want to.” Cassie whines “My dad will kill me and bury me.”

Copelan smiles, “Not to you, to the loser that got you pregnant most likely.”

“Yeah, speaking of.” Clay sits down staring at Cassie. “Who would’ve been the father? Because as far as we all know, you and Mia aren’t dating so explain yourself there.”

Jack shakes his head but you speak up, “No details, as long as Mia or Cassandra aren’t actually pregnant, I’m good with that.”

“CASSANDRA AND MÍA ARE WHAT NOW?”

“Shit.” Cassie mumbles.

“Ha, I need to see this shit show- Oww why are you hurting me?” Ez glares at Mia.

Mia shakes her head. “Tú y tíos tienen que aprender cómo callarse.” She goes up to her godfather smiling. “Hi Nino Urby.”

“Don’t sweet talk me right now Mia Wyatt Harlow.” Urban glares, “I just walked in to your mom saying you or Cassie are pregnant.”

“Here we go again.” Ez rolls his eyes. “Long story short, Mia and Cassie aren’t pregnant, they just both had a pregnancy scare.”

“EZEQUIEL.”

“YEA-WAIT WHAT?”

“Shit, they didn’t know about you having a scare last week?”

“No.” Mia glares, “No they didn’t.”

“OKAY.” Jack speaks up. “The three of you sit down, I guess we’re having the birds and bees talk all over again.”

The three teens groan “NOOO.”

“Oh we definitely are if two out of three are having pregnancy scares.” Urban adds.

“You girls need to learn like me, just don’t have sex.” Ezequiel shrugs.

Cassie and Mia laugh, “Okay Mr I took some girl back to Tío Copelan and Tio Sunnis place last night.”

“ENOUGH.” You roll your eyes and massage your temples. “I have newborn twins upstairs, I’m running on no sleep. The girls aren’t pregnant, Ezequiel is not allowed to go to his uncle's house on the weekends anymore, problem solved.” You make your way to the stairs.

“Babe, it’s not actually solve-“

You glare “Jackman.”

“Okay, okay.” He stands up and heads to you. “Let’s go check on our twins.”

That leaves Urban, Clay, Sunni, Copelan in the living with Mia, Ezequiel and Cassie.

“You want these?” Sunni asks EZ

“Yes, thank you.” Ezequiel grabs the small bag of baby carrots, rips open the bag and starts chewing on them. “Feeling nervous a bit.” He tries to joke about it but Sunni smiles, knowing well that he eats the carrots whenever he’s feeling anxious.

Urban smiles, then quickly his entire face changes and turns to face the girls “Okay, we have to talk about safe sex guys-“

“Tio Urb!”

“DAD!”

“Urban! Go home!”

***********************

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

What are your thoughts on Frederick and Nichole?

Short Answer: I like them. I think the depth they will provide to Tamarack's story will be fascinating and I look forward to seeing them both grow as characters and begin rebuilding that relationship as parents as well as apologizing for being such lackluster ones.

Long Answer:

The Baumann family drama makes me unwell. It really is providing something we haven't really seen in the OL universe. We have family drama, don't get me wrong. We have Cliff and Kyra's divorce and co-parenting, and if you get the DLC for Step 3, you even learn about the full details of that divorce and the terrible foundations their relationship had.

We never get to see Baxter's parents but we know from his own words that they're not the best people. He also admits that if weren't their son, he would never be on the receiving end of the grace they've extended to him.

But we've never had something like Tamarack's family dynamic. We've got parents and grandparents in the picture! As a couple, Frederick and Nichole are solid. They chose one another, they just also less-than-intelligently chose to have a child before wrapping up their academic careers.

And I think some of the reason Frederick and Nichole are so divisive as characters is because of how realistic it seems. Dorothea shoving all the blame onto Nichole, Frederick finding his parents and keeping up with them a chore, Ernst's passivity all but co-signing his wife's views on their daughter-in-law and Nichole mixing up her priorities in her pursuit to prove herself to herself and the rest of the world. Then you have Tamarack wrapped in all of that when she never asked to be.

The independent but lonely wild child. The wild child that grows into someone with none of the confidence she had as a 10 year old. And who truthfully feels like no one really cares about her, especially not when she actually needs them (that is unless the player becomes a source of comfort for her).

It's one big mess that needs to be solved.

Frederick and Nichole interest me because of the way their minds work. They wanted Tamarack and wanted to have a family they felt would be better than the ones they came from. I think there's a lot of realism to be found in that. Plenty of people have kids whether planned or otherwise and go 'I'll never be like my parents!' only to end up exactly like their parents or maybe even worse in some ways.

But since this OL, we all know things are going to work out. Every other character with a bit of family drama gets a happy conclusion.

Cliff and Kyra are great co-parents.

Baxter is low-to-no contact with his family.

So I think we can all rest assured that the Baumanns are going to reach their own happy conclusion. It might not be perfect and realistically those who dislike each probably won't just start kicking it and being all kumbaya with one another. However comma, the end result will be something a lot better than what it was.

Tamarack's obviously never going to go back to living with her parents because the game is taking place squarely in Golden Grove but her relationship with her parents' will get better. Everyone in the Baumann family is going to grow in their own way and as a collective and I look forward to seeing that.

If everyone had super great families in the game, don't get me wrong we could still have compelling and moving characters but having varying familial dynamics makes the game more interesting and less static. Everyone's got their own thing

Aside from Tamarack having a gorgeous design, her family's dynamic is probably a huge part of why I can never give the girl a run where I'm mean. The most I do is click on a mean option to see what her reaction will be before rewinding to the option I actually want.

Like I said, I'm physically incapable of being mean to Tamarack, it's a curse.

Meme Answer: They're both hot. And complicated.

[enterpris]

An Education in Attraction, Chapter 14

Pairing: Reader x Gojo

Summary: It's spring when you start your Master's degree. As the flowers and leaves unfold, so too do your feeling for Gojo

Warnings: emotion reconciliation, soft Gojo, making out, light swearing, oral (m->f), no condom, p in v sex, multiple Os

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Ao3: PlaidSparrow

You’re not sure what else to do, so you mutely open the door wider and he walks into your room. You shut the door softly and then turn around. Now that he’s here, you have no idea what he could want or how he even remembers where you live.

You avoid looking directly at him, but after a moment you close the blinds. Even if you don’t want to talk to him, you don’t want the light to make him uncomfortable. 

Out of things to do, you finally face him, leaving plenty of space between you. 

He's busy looking around your room, so you take a moment to catalog his appearance, searching for any clue that might indicate why he’s here. Gojo’s a little dressed down, wearing a long sleeved button down and casual trousers. His hair has gotten longer, it hangs down in front of his dark glasses.

He keeps the sunglasses on, but they’re low on his nose, and you can see his face fully. 

Gojo stands in your room, silent. Stress creeps into the room, filling the formerly comfortable and airy ambiance you had created. 

He looks at the photos on your wall, so very like the last time he had been over. More items have joined your collection since he last visited- pictures with Saito and Kuzume, a photo from the day trip you took over summer break. 

The longer he waits to speak, the more your anxiety grows. You’re uncomfortable and apprehensive to know why he came over unannounced, but you aren't going to be the one to break the silence. 

He continues looking over your personal effects and then visibly hesitates, his words and thoughts swallowed before he faces you. 

“I came to talk to you.” He runs his hand through the hair on the back of his neck and huffs out a sigh. Gojo pauses again, and when his words do come, they’re disjointed and messy, thoughts overlapping each other. 

“We haven’t really spoken to each other lately. And you didn’t want to speak to me after the symposium.”

You fold your arms, this really isn’t a conversation you’d like to be having. 

“Sooo I wasn’t really able to say what I wanted to.

“I , and,” he hesitates again. His eyes wander across the room, searching for something to make what he’s saying easier. He huffs and pulls the glasses off his face, shoving them into the top of his shirt. 

Gojo's voice is strained when he speaks- you've never seen him anything but nonchalant and relaxed. You avert your eyes. Seeing him this humorless is making you feel exposed, like something is wrong.

In an effort to cut the conversation short and allow both of you to save face, you offer him an out:

“It’s fine, Satoru.” His given name slips from your lips before you know you’ve said it.

He turns to you, expression softening as he looks into your eyes.

“It isn't. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

Some of the frustration leaves his voice, “I’m sorry.”

You hold his gaze, and he takes a step towards you.

He moves softly but surely, like a cat. When you don’t respond he takes another step closer. He could reach out and touch you now. His attention hasn’t left your face, but as you stare back at him you see his eyes drop to your lips. 

And while that’s a little exhilarating, you can’t help the anger that burns at his presumption. 

You turn and step away from him, trying to gain some breathing room and control. He's too close and your emotions feel tangled up, trapped in the tiny dorm. Nowhere else to go, you snap, and release everything you thought you had resolved or buried over the break.

“No, you can’t just come in here and say sorry once and then try to kiss me. Are you kidding?

“You brushed me off, you didn’t speak to me for weeks. Of course I didn’t want to talk to you at the conference!”

When you turn back to him, Gojo hasn’t moved. He’s looking at you intently with a transparent expression, his body language soft, just like when he kissed you on the couch. The anger dissolves, and you let out a long breath.  

“I thought we were friends, or maybe more, but I’m not going to let myself be played with. You can’t push and pull me like this.”

“I don't want to play with you.” Gojo’s voice is low and soft now. 

“Then what are you doing? Because I tried to talk to you, and you barely gave me more than a word.”

“I did.” He nods.  

“Why?”

He pauses a moment.

“I don’t like working in groups. People know who I am and what I’ve done, so my partners pawn most of the work onto me.”

From another mouth, the words would sound conceited, but there’s no arrogance here, his voice rings with sincerity. 

“I thought that you’d be the same at first. But you were so passionate about teaching. You pulled me in,” he shrugs and smiles a little. 

“When I got that call, after I kissed you, it kind of snapped me out of it. You might have been playing the long haul. Soooo,” he runs his hand through his hair again, “I had to pull back.” Your outburst seems to have broken the dam holding his words back. And where he had reserved himself in the past when you had pushed, now he melts in front of you. 

His explanation is blunt but genuine, and now his vulnerability feels like an invitation for you to open yourself up to him too. You’ve missed him these last weeks, and the possibility of having him back makes you light and a little impulsive.

“I had top marks on all my assignments last term. I don’t need you to do the work for me.”

Your voice is just slightly teasing, and you take one step towards him. 

Gojo tilts his head and gives you a soft smile. “I know.”

He steps toward you again, “You were so lively, so passionate when we were presenting. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I made a mistake pulling away.

“I’m sorry,” he says, but it sounds like it could mean, I want you. 

Satoru’s eyes flick over your face again and you can see the desire plainly in his eyes. 

This time, you draw closer to him. 

When he brings his lips to yours, it’s gentle. It’s soft, a re-exploration of each other since the last time you were this close. Everything about him is warm- the heat of his body and hands, the hint of cologne lingering near his shirt collar, his smooth voice. 

As his lips meet yours, one hand raises to skim your cheek, and his touch is so light it’s nearly imperceptible. Satoru’s other arm wraps around your waist and you relax into his touch, returning his embrace. 

Hi's lips are warm and soft, and when he slips his tongue into your mouth you can't help but sigh. 

Heat builds in your kisses, and soon Satoru mouth drifts to your jaw and your earlobe, his hands brushing the skin under your shirt. 

“I've wanted this. Wanted you for months,” he murmurs. 

His voice is surprisingly sincere and warm, and his touches so gentle that you want to believe him, believe that he wanted you the way you've longed for him. 

Then his mouth is back on yours, hot and fervent and every other thought is shut out. You open your mouth and he slips his tongue against yours and he surges against you. 

You're burning under his touch, every nerve in your body sings as his hands brush over you and your lips meet his. All the intensity and heat from your first kisses are present, magnified by your heightened emotions. You're not going to let him go this time. 

Satoru slides his warm palms under your shirt and slowly trails them up towards your bra. He touches your forehead to his own as he swipes his thumbs over your nipples through the thin fabric, eyes bright and completely focused on your reaction. 

You exhale heavily and heat pools in your lower stomach. Now that he’s here before you, you’re greedy to have as much of him as you can.

Your own hands thread through the long hairs at the nape of his neck and then down his muscular arms. Even through the material of his shirt, you can feel the toned bulk of his upper arms and shoulders. And suddenly it’s not enough to feel him through the clothes, you want his skin bare on yours, for the warmth of your bodies to meld together and burn.

The moment you undo the top button of his shirt, Satoru pulls your shirt over your head, and then his hands are helping you, loosing the buttons and tugging his own shirt off. 

You’re breathing heavily already, and you have to take a moment to appreciate his body. Apparently in his little free time, Satoru must be going to the gym. His entire body is sculpted and lithe, skin pale in the low light through the blinds. Downy white hair dusts the top of his chest and below his navel to the V of his hips. 

You find you’re rather eager to see where that trail leads, and slide your hands down his chest and stomach to start on his belt. You pull the strap as Satoru nibbles on your earlobe and kisses down to your shoulder. His breath comes quickly and raggedly against the delicate skin as your hands brushes his erection.

You pull the belt off and drag the trousers to the floor. Nearly on your knees, you’re tempted to place your lips somewhere lower, but Gojo pulls you back up and his hands continue their roam of your body. He strips off your own bottoms, leaving you both nearly bare before each other.   

The emotional distance between you two had made you vulnerable then, but nearly naked before Satoru now, looking into the depths of his eyes, you are utterly attuned. Your hands are drawn back to his body, and you kiss him and back him up towards the bed. 

Before you push him backwards onto the bed, Satoru reverses your positions and lowers you to sit in front of him. Now he's kneeling before you. 

Satoru presses his lips to your stomach above your underwear. He ghosts his lips down your body and presses an open mouthed kiss to your inner thigh. You whimper and your hips jump. He pins a hand on each of your hip bones and locks you onto the bed. He laughs, soft and short and looks up into your eyes. “I’m not gonna go easy on you.” Then he nibbles on your other thigh and hooks his fingers into your underwear.

He drags your panties down as he continues laving his tongue over the delicate skin near the apex of your thigh. He's so close to where you want him, but Satoru seems content to tease you right now. You’re already soaking, you can feel the slickness between your folds, dripping down to your sheets.

As you writhe in need, his eyes flick up to you and he smiles. This time, it’s smug and sinful. He stops his ministrations to your thighs and licks a flat stripe up your pussy. He repeats the motion, this time flicking his tongue when he reaches your clit. You jolt and cry out, but Satoru has already locked one arm over your hips, pinning you to the bed.

His quick tongue is good for more than just academic conversations or banter, and the way he moves it against you now makes you keen. Having his mouth on you, hands holding your legs open, the sensations are overwhelming.

He devours you- his hot mouth attached to your clit and his eyes burning up at you. Your hands shoot down to his head, winding your fingers in his hair you pull, feeling too much and not enough. 

“Satoru, please,” you moan, breath coming quickly.

He hums, and the vibrations have tension building low in your stomach. Satoru takes the opportunity to slide one of his fingers into you. After watching his elegant fingers write and fidget all term, you finally feel their talents for yourself. 

Satoru adds another finger to pump slowly inside you and swirls his tongue around your clit. Your legs begin to tremble when he slowly curls his fingers within you, slowly circling the clit and brushing his tongue against you. It's wet and messy and all you can think about is his hands on you and in you, how much more you want from him. 

Gojo comes up for air, his chin shining with the proof of your arousal. His hands keep busy gripping you and rubbing your clit as he pants. His face is pink and you’ve ruined his hair, but he looks alive and determined. He whispers your name.

Then he reattaches his lips to your clit and sucks, and the tension that’s been growing within you snaps. You cry out as you reach your peak and you can’t tell if you shout or if it’s his name on your lips. 

Your orgasm radiates through you, sapping your energy and leaving you boneless below him. 

He stands up and you see his erection straining at the material of his underwear.

“Condom?” He asks as he shucks the last piece of clothing between you. You’ve barely had time to recover from your intense orgasm, but Satoru looks ready to jump you now. 

You shake your head. “I’m on the pill.”

He mutters a swear and climbs onto the bed on top of you, positioning himself between your legs. There’s nothing blank or neutral in the way he looks at you now, just an intensity and wanton desire. 

“This alright?” His voice is scratchy and low as he slots himself in front of you. 

In response, you raise your hips to meet him. His earlier work has left you slick and needy, and Satoru’s eyes flutter as the tip of his cock brushes your entrance. 

He slowly pushes into you. You keep your eyes on Gojo’s face as he slides in and bottoms out. The sensations are overwhelming as he fills you, kisses you. In all your fantasies about growing closer to Satoru, you’d never imagined he would be sinking into you, looking at you this hungrily, and you're nearly vibrating with desire for him to fuck you in earnest. 

“Fuck,” his voice is rough now. 

He kisses you deeply and rolls his hips into yours. You lock your legs around his hips, bringing him closer as he ruts his lithe body against yours. 

He slowly builds a rhythm until he's snapping his hips, your legs urging him deeper, faster. 

One arm brackets your face and supports his weight above you, he moves your other hand to rest next to his arm. He entwines your fingers, and beneath the haze of lust your heart flutters. He caresses your breast as the impact of his thrusts rock your body. When you grab his shoulder and dig your nails into the muscle there, he moans. 

The slide of his cock is delicious and easy through your sopping cunt. You groan as he hits deep inside, pulling him deeper. Your bodies move together, grinding, filling, creating. 

His hair sticks to his forehead with sweat, and your own skin feels slick where it meets his body. He's attentive to your needs, maintaining the rhythm when you inhale sharply, teasing your mouth with his tongue. He kisses you until you’re breathless and lightheaded, hardly able to think of anything beyond his body.

Between his mouth, his skilled fingers, and his cock, it's easy to lose yourself in the sensations of being fucked.

When you pry your mind from just the physical, you also feel every ounce of Satoru’s awareness focused on you. Your faces are so close you brush noses, and as your breath mingles you look into the depths of his eyes. They flick down to your mouth and back up to your eyes. He’s eager to please and pull reactions from you, you're reminded just how marvelous a partner Gojo can be when he wants to be. 

His pace is beginning to build tension within you again, and his hand burns as he runs it down to your waist. He grips your hip tightly for a moment, sighing in appreciation as you meet his thrusts before dragging it lower to the juncture where your bodies meet. 

When Satoru brings his hand back down to your clit, you moan. 

He circles your clit slowly at first, slowly building speed until he matches the pace of his hips meeting yours. The tension grows until you're at the precipice of another orgasm, thighs shaking as they're wrapped around him. He pants and continues circling the sensitive nub until you shatter again, even more intense than the last.

Gojo groans as you flutter against him and his hips stutter. Your walls clench on his throbbing cock and you try to catch your breath as he pumps into you. Sweat beads on his temple and the veins in his arms stand out as he chases his own high. 

When he does reach his release, he’s radiant, like a star bursting apart. A supernova blocking everything else out of your world. His eyes are closed and his head tipped back in ecstasy, and it’s all you can do to just stare up at him. Seeing him so soft and open melts your heart, and you bring a hand up to caress his cheek as he comes back down.

He rests his head above your shoulder and pants to catch his breath. You want to memorize every part of him- threading your fingers through his hair, feeling the sweat on his scalp and the velvet of his undercut. You trace patterns on the skin of his back and his arms. Connecting constellations map themselves under your fingertips as you stroke his skin. 

You feel Satoru easing into your touch, relaxing into your body further. He kisses your shoulder and neck before landing at your lips again. When he's done kissing you deeply he looks at you with half lidded eyes and sighs. 

“Do you need a towel?”

You hadn’t even thought about cleanup before jumping into bed with Satoru. You’ve never been so thankful to have an ensuite bathroom. 

“Yeah, they’re in the cabinet in the bathroom.” 

He pulls out of you gingerly and rolls to the side, admiring your body before walking to the bathroom.

In a moment, he returns with the towel, shamelessly exposing his exquisite body. Without the cloud of lust filling your brain, you unabashedly admire him and invite him back into bed.  

He climbs in and kisses you again, lazy and sated.

Satoru’s chest swells as his breathing slows. With his arm hap-hazardly thrown over your waist, warmth radiating through your body, you are utterly content.

A sliver of light shines through the closed blinds of your window and you can’t help but feel as bright and promising as the summer day outside. It is going to be a good term.

[alreadyblondenow]

Who’s gonna drive you home? (Part 2.)

Pairing: Racer Jaehyun x female reader x Racer Taeyong

Genre: Love triangle, racer au, fluff, smut, angst maybe?

WARNINGS: Unprotected sex which is not advisable in real life situation, mentions of car crash, accidents, hospital and implied comatose situation. IF YOU ARE HAVE BAD EXPERIENCE FROM THE SAID WARNING ABOVE, PLEASE SKIP THAT PART. kind of illegal racing, betting. NOT PROOFREAD, SORRY.

NOTE: THIS STORY IS PURE FICTION AND A 100% MADE UP FROM MY MIND. Inspired by Jackson Wang’s ‘Who’s gonna drive you home’ song. Sorry in advance if this turned out to be disappointing, i love it the way i created it. I also want to thank everyone who loved part 1. I hope I can create beautiful stories again.

————————-

Today is one of those days where you and Taeyong stay in his place the whole day to assemble Legos. Those little things he liked to collect, and whenever you two finish a piece, it will automatically become one of his prized possessions. Sometimes, it’s his excuse to have quality time with you while doing stuff he loves. But today, you noticed he’s just watching you build a piece on your own while he guides you cutely.

The floor is full of legos, and your boyfriend is lying on the floor, leaning on his arm while watching you. Something is up you thought.

“How about we go somewhere quiet and peaceful this weekend? Do you like that?” You feel his nose near your ear, which gave you goosebumps and in a matter of seconds his arms are wrapped around you and you’re in between his long legs. “I might be gone for a couple of weeks,”

“What? Again?” You said with a pout, playing with his slender fingers, intertwined them with yours. “Can I go with you this time? Can I watch you race?”

“No definitely not” he said with a loving voice, embracing you tightly from behind and spreading kisses on your neck until his very kisses tickles you.

Of course Taeyong won’t risk exposing you to his enemies, you might get in danger because of him and he will not forgive himself if that happens. He just secretly hopes that you trust him with how he protects you. This is the best he can do for now.

“We don’t have to go somewhere far. We can stay in, order take out and watch movies. We can do the simplest things Tae, as long as we’re together”

And there you just watch him admire you closely, soothing your hand and he probably feels bad because he knew you deserve more than stay ins, take outs and movie nights in his bedroom… but he can’t step up because he’s being cautious. And ever since you and Taeyong started dating, he has been breaking every promise he says to you and you just let him make another one only to see him break it again, even before he tries to fulfill it first. But what can you do? You love him.

That was the last peaceful time you shared together. You remember it so clearly. He was talking about how he wanted to keep you by his side forever, how he loves you so much and how you make him happy.

“I’m sure of us Y/n. I’m really not kidding. I’m gonna marry you someday, build a home and have many kids so we could be busy together. Forever” he says while holding your hand, watching your eyelids grew heavy in front of him. You can’t believe you just wasted a beautiful day inside his place and you two are now ready to sleep once again in his bed. Together.

“Someday, I’ll forget about racing just give me a few more months—“

“I love that you race. You’re not Taeyong if you don’t race. I’ll be fine,” you smilef weakly, fighting your sleepy eyes. “Don’t give up something you love, I can support you while you’re at it”

And then you don’t know what he said next because you fell asleep in his arms. But after a few days, the unexpected breakup happened and it both changed your lives ever since that night.

Now you share that familiar silence again with Taeyong, just like those times when you’re building Legos at his living room. But now that silence is uncomfortable, it’s deafening and you want it to stop this instance.

“Do you love him? Because I’m here to bring you back Y/n”

Those words ring in your ears over and over again. You stand there like a statue as Taeyong expresses how much he missed you. How desperate he is to bring you back and how desperate he is to hear that you don’t love Jaehyun. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he didn’t plan to beg for you today. But the fact that this is the first time Jaehyun has won over him, he simply cannot let it pass and he has to win you again.

“I will leave racing. I don’t care, I don’t want that life anymore. I want us. Let’s live somewhere far away from this place, get married, start a family—“

“I do love Jaehyun” you said with a shaky voice, Taeyong on the other hand is weak and he almost fell on his knees, “He left racing for me. He didn’t keep me out from his world Tae, while you became even more greedy with speed. Every race you finish, you’re faster than ever-“

“People want me dead Y/n! In every race I have my enemies curse me because every time I win, I take their money— I want to be faster because I want every race to finish as soon as possible so I can come home to you. That’s the fucking truth!”

Suddenly you remember those times when Taeyong came straight to your house while his car was overheating. There’s this one time, when he needed to go to the hospital but he went straight to you. “Jaehyun didn’t stopped racing because of you. He didn’t have a choice because I took away his team and his shop. He lost a bet” he added.

Now that Taeyong is completely frustrated, he wanted to step back once again and think of a better solution on winning you back. But it just came out from his mouth…

“I’ll give everything he owns, just come back to me”

And with all sincereness and bravery, Taeyong came closer to you and apologized for the heated conversation. He initiated the hug and melt in his arms right then and there. “You don’t have to decide now, but I’m serious”

This time you returned the hug and savored the moment. Oh you missed him.

“How are you, you asked?” He let out a fake giggle, “I’m lost Y/n. I really am” he said and placed a kiss on your temple, which you accepted whole heartedly. “You should go back inside, I’m sorry. I really am— call me when you’re ready. I’ll pick you up right away, just like old times”

And as you watch Taeyong get in his car and drive away, you still say a little prayer that he drives safely and hope that you will see him soon again.

It’s clear as the day. You are now confused with your feelings and you still love Taeyong.

When you get back to your place, Jaehyun was waiting for you in living room, still figuring out what to say but he wanted to talk and well… make sure that he still has you. But the thing is, Jaehyun loves you so much that he’s very understanding with the situation you’re in. He gets it. You still have loose ends with Taeyong and in the process of healing he forced his way into your life. And that breaks Jaehyun’s heart. It was his fault after all.

“Hey I didn’t hear you come in,” he was startled when he saw you pouring a glass of water for yourself. Jaehyun can’t even be close to you, he was standing so far from you and you noticed it immediately.

It’s for the better, you thought. And Jaehyun got the message. He wanted to talk about it, but he didn’t want to stress you more. The frustration in his face was there even though he is trying so hard not to show you. You saw him shook his head like he’s accepting defeat. But if you continue doing this to Jaehyun, you will continue to hurt him.

But you don’t know if this space that you’re asking for him is for your healing…. Or a good time to make your way back to Taeyong.

“I love you. Y/n. I uhm— I’m here, always remember that”

He knew how to respect your feelings even though you’re sure about nothing at the moment. But he can see it in your eyes that you’re back to square one, your sad eyes were back and he hates it even more now that he’s one of the causes for your sadness.

So he left. Not because he didn’t love you.

Little did he know that you’re just doing this just so you can help him get his old life back. You knew he loved racing, the shop his dad bought for him, and his friends that he misses so much. They were his family and he lost them because he lost a race. A stupid bet.

But just as you thought that Jaehyun will leave Taeyong alone, he drove straight to Taeyong’s place, the lion’s den to negotiate. Of course he was mad, he didn’t know about the deal you and Taeyong have. But one thing is for sure, Taeyong will take the lead again.

“Let’s race it out. One on one race!” Jaehyun exclaims towards Taeyong.

“You’re sure is brave. Tell me Jaehyun, have you ever won against me?”

“It’s the risk I’m willing to take— we were fine! Our lives were peaceful! She was getting better! Do you have any idea how much shit you out here through? She was crying herself to sleep, and I was the one with her not you!”

Taeyong felt jealous, but most importantly, he didn’t know that you were hurting as much as he is. “Thank you Jaehyun, I think I’ll take it from here” Taeyong continuously speaks with pride, “Race it out, you say? Call. Tomorrow night”

And just like that Jaehyun was back to his old self again. He spent the whole night trying so hard to strategize and think of all kinds of shit just to beat Taeyong. But all that driving, all that thinking, just leads him to remembering how your lips felt on his skin, how you smile brights up his whole, how you cheer him up whenever he’s having a hard day from work, even the way how you hold him while you’re making love. He wants to win this race so bad that all he could ever think about is you.

Until he stops driving and he didn’t noticed that he was driving towards one the many places that you two have marked as your happy place.

The hidden river where you and Jaehyun had so many memories. It was a long drive before you get to this place, a real pain in the head for racers because the road wasn’t that easy. But it was easy for Jaehyun because of you.

“This is where we started dreaming together Y/n”

Months ago

“It will be freezing, but it’s gonna be worth it” he smiled his dimpled smile as he strips in front of you, excited to get in the water. You on the other hand, is having second thoughts. “You promise we’ll do it together—“

“Alright, alright— I’m coming! Can you please turn around while I remove my clothes,”

“I’ve seen everything… but yeah of course” Jaehyun laughed before he turns around while you strip. Slowly you get in the water and walk towards Jaehyun, it was dark and only the moonlight was the one guiding you towards him. But Jaehyun being the gentleman that he is, walked backwards and reach for your hand.

“Okay you can look now,” you thanked him for holding you, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before he taps your leg and Jaehyun lifting your body underneath the river. He walked in the middle of the river, directly to the moonlight and looked at you lovingly.

“Can we stay like this forever? Be my forever only?” He asked sweetly.

“I’m making improvements, don’t overdo it” you happily admitted, “I’ll stay forever if you never leave of course. Don’t be like—“

“I get it,” he kissed your neck, stopping you from mentioning your ex. “Just wait until I can buy my own place again and get back to business. I’ll make you the happiest— I decided to sell my car for our fresh start…”

“What? You love your car,” you looked at him, so confused.

“If I sell it I can start a new business and buy a new shop. Then I can buy a new place and you can live with me” Jaehyun says, his eyes were full of dreams and you can see that he’s happy with his own decisions. But…

“Can’t you achieve this dream without selling your car? I can lend you money, I can live with you in your small place…” And while you were talking you don’t know why he was smiling from ear to ear…. “What?” You asked.

“You just told me you love me without even saying the actual words,” he was blushing. Ears read and his body was becoming warm. Warmer.

“Told you. Improvements” you smiled and kissed him. Arms perfectly around his neck, lips so soft, his soft moans that makes you crazy that you didn’t noticed you were grinding on him.

When it’s finally time to go home, it was so cold but Jaehyun made you wear his jacket to keep you warm. It was also the first time he was holding your hand the whole trip back. Kissing it from time to time, occasionally blow on it just to keep you warm. And when you arrived at his small place, you cant take your hands off of each other.

It was definitely a sweet night but still playful. You don’t know what’s gotten into you and but you just wanted to shower Jaehyun with attention that you got on you knees and started giving him a blow job. He looked hot the whole time. His legs spread while he sits at the edge of his small bed. Left hand on your head, guiding you suck while his right hand is supporting him. Jaehyun was so turned on that his mouth was parting and he’s hard as a wood. “Y/n,” he moans your name deliciously over and over again. And when he was about to cum, he removed his cock from your mouth and caught your lips with his, letting his cum paint hi skin instead of filling your mouth.

You sat on his lap and started stroking him again, grinding on his cock and covering it with your juices. He was getting shy for no reason, but he can see what you want to happen tonight. You wanted to take charge for a change, he smiled at you and lie on his bed. Reaching for hand and pulling you towards his body, “okay, I know what you’re doing” he says, you just smiled. “I’m yours” he smiled sweetly and completely surrendered to you. Feeling your hands roam around his body, and when you line his cock on your entrance to put in slowly, your eyes went big when Jaehyun let out the loudest moan and you just had to cover his mouth will you continue to push it in.

“You have neighbors” you giggle and placed a kiss on his lips when you finally released his mouth. But he didn’t stopped kissing you as if he was saying, ‘kiss me while you fuck me.’ You moved your hips up and down and feel him melt, your hand plays with nipples softly, which gives him a good shiver. His both hands are kneading your boobs, gently like how you touch him.

“Oh fuck—“ he hissed when you clenched around him while you move slowly and feeling every inch of his cock. And when you moved faster, he completely lost it, he was watching you move up and dow and your boobs in front of his eyes. The look on Jaehyun’s face while he was watching you fuck hin was something you don’t see everyday or anytime you had sex. It was lust but with the mix of admiration, he was smiling but truth is he was really sensitive. Oh just by looking at him you can catch your high and make yourself cum but this is not about you.

“How do you feel now?” You teased him from going fast to moving oh so slow again while leaning towards him.

“No don’t do this—“ he smiled weakly, clearly he was tired and he wanted to cum. ‘okay’ you said softly and made him hold onto to your waist. You moved faster again and clenched the whole time, making Jaehyun cum in less than a minute. “It feels good to cum inside you,” he says, pulling you towards him again and making you comfortable on top of him. You feel his cock soften inside you, and when he pulled it out it cum drips from your hole slowly, staining your skin, his skin and his sheets.

“I love you” he whispers and you hear him soft and clear.

Present time

It didn’t took him a while to answer his phone of course. You knew he just finished work and he should be heading home by now.

“Hi. Glad you called. Is there something wrong?” He asked with a worried tone but he was really excited to hear from you.

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” you said and with that Jaehyun projected a very huge smile. Maybe this is a great time to ask you to eat dinner he thought. “How about you? Are you doing good?” You added.

“I miss you everyday. Can I see you tonight? I can cook— what do you want for dinner?” Jaehyun offers excitedly.

But you were quiet.

“Sounds good and tempting. But I guess, not tonight Jae. Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay. Please make yourself a yummy dinner,”

And just like that his hopes crashed down again and he knew something is wrong but he wanted to stay patient and win you back for tonight’s race.

“Was that Jaehyun?” Taeyong asks, crossing his arms in front of you. Overflowing with jealousy.

“You came uninvited again— the turn of events was only yesterday—“ you were still so speechless and you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Watch me race. Tonight” Taeyong bravely said to you. “Though this is gonna be the last race I’ll accept, I just don’t want hiding anything from you”

If you’re being honest, you didn’t want to go out tonight, let alone watch him race.

“I’m racing against Jaehyun” Taeyong blurted out. “If he wins tonight. I promise you’ll never see me again and I’ll give Jaehyun everything he owns”

“And if you win?” You were quick to ask.

“I’ll still give Jaehyun everything he owns but he will let me pursue you. Of course Y/n were giving you a choice. You have feelings for the both of us and the end of the day, you still have to choose if you want to come to me or not. I don’t want to force you” he stepped closer to you to try and make you calm, he was warm and you miss his touch.

Come to think of it, this is your chance to give Jaehyun a better life. He can go back to business, see his friends again and you can all make it possible.

At the end of the day, you came to the race with Taeyong. There was no proud moment and all Taeyong felt was jealousy and worry. Jealous because he can see right through you that it’s Jaehyun you love and he was worried because what if he wind tonight but you still end up hating him.

“I don’t hate you Tae,” you said, shocking him as if you can read his mind. “I want you to drive safe, okay?” You said and got out of his car, there, Jaehyun saw you from afar. He bolted towards you and was quick to reach for your hand. He was quite aggressive and his touch was hurting you.

“You made a deal with him, didn’t you?!” Jaehyun shouted at you. You’ve never seen him like this.

“She was just thinking about you—“ Taeyong tried to free you from Jaehyun’s tight grip. It was hurting you and the whole time you were looking at him you were in tears.

“I’m here trying to win you but you’ve already given up on me— is this what love means to you?!” when Jaehyun finally let go of you, he was so mad and went straight to his car to get ready for the race.

Taeyong left shortly but he made sure you’re okay and you’ve calm down. He gave you his jacket and promised to come back safety, as always. “You have to understand Jaehyun” he said. Then you remembered, the night you and Taeyong broke up. He got mad because you can be a possible bet, and now that you’re the actual prize for tonight’s one on one race, you can only imagine his frustration.

“Can you tell him to drive safe?” You asked Taeyong, of course he answered back.

When the race was about to start, Jaehyun was crazy mad and Taeyong was honestly worried if he can drive safe.

“Jeong. Y/n said, drive safe”

But Jaehyun didn’t even looked at him.

As soon as the go signal went off, Jaehyun was the one leading. Everyone were in their smart phones, going live after live after live just so everyone can watch Jaehyun and Taeyong’s race. There were a lot of people, and to be honest they didn’t know what this race is all about. All they know is that this race is becoming more intense as every second lasts.

“Jaehyun is leading!” Mark exclaimed to everyone, little did he know, this was Taeyong’s new technique. He was being patient with the race, and Jaehyun isn’t.

After a few nerve wracking minutes, Taeyong was suddenly leading.

While on the road, and while Taeyong was driving and thinking about how he can pull of this new strategy. He noticed that Jaehyun’s car was so near to his that it was scratching Taeyong’s Porsche. Neither of them didn’t care about how beautiful Taeyong’s car is or how expensive it was, but they both know that car bumping is against the rules and can lead to a major accident.

***please skip if uncomfortable *****

“Are you out of your mind, Jeong?!” Taeyong shouted from the inside of his car. He was still leading but the road was getting too dangerous and Jaehyun kept bumping him like he wants Taeyong to drop from the race.

Second by second, Jaehyun’s bumps were becoming harder ans harder which made Taeyong scared for the both of them.

He didn’t have a choice but to slow down eventually, and stop his car.

But Jaehyun lost control and had a taste of his own medicine.

Taeyong witnessed Jaehyun’s car crashed right in front of his eyes and he was quick to call for help and try to save Jaehyun on his own.

You on the other hand, is now worried sick when you saw ambulance, rescue team and the police arriving.

“Y/n! We have to go!” Mark was the one in charge for your safety tonight but you cant help and be worried for both Taeyong and Jaehyun. “We’ll go straight to the hospital. Don’t worry,”

Everything happened so fast. You were shaking and worried sick, you don’t know how to calm down.

Three days after

You wanted to take care of him because you were guilty. You continue to blame yourself for what happened to Jaehyun even though it was his choice to be unfair during the race.

Taeyong was nice enough to take care of him too. He just let you do what you want, watch you take care of Jaehyun even though it hurts him too. Seeing you like this is like everyday torture for him but he wanted to take care of you.

Weeks passed by and finally Jaehyun woke up from his long sleep.

You weren’t there when he opened his eyes.

He was alone.

When you and Taeyong heard the news from his doctors, you were so happy that your knees gave up on you but Taeyong was there to catch you.

You and Taeyong left the moment you heard that Jaehyun is fine.

This is for the better, you said to yourself.

After three years of building a relationship with Taeyong again, there was no doubt that he loves you so much and that he has proven to you everyday that he really didn’t mean to break up with you during the past. But now that you and Taeyong are living peacefully in LA now, that doesn’t mean that the race between Jaehyun and Taeyong is over.

Taeyong was understanding whenever you push him away and secretly miss Jaehyun.

Jaehyun was patient for your return.

“Tae” you moan his name and grip the sheets while Taeyong continues to kiss your thighs and tease your wet sex. He was so happy that he get to do this with you for he was having a hard time luring you to make love with him ever since you got back together.

Sure there are some moments you had sex, but the span of three years of being together, he can only count the nights you’ve shared beautifully. It’s not that he wasn’t thankful for the relationship, he just wishes that you two can go back to how you used to be before the breakup.

“Don’t fight it, aren’t you enjoying?” Taeyong grinds on top of you thrusting while kissing lovingly. Raising your hands above your head so you could stop scratching his back.

Don’t get me wrong, you love what he was doing and he feels so good inside you that you’re already near your orgasm. Of course Taeyong felt it so he was quick to catch your excitement so you could cum together, but all you can do is whine and beg him to stop.

He stopped of course.

His cock was deep inside you but he didn’t hesitate to pull out and stop. He covered you with clean blankets and you watch him wear his sleeping clothes again. It was heartbreaking.

“Tae, I’m sorry… I’m just not in the mood— stay in bed. We can try again if you want, just give me a few minutes”

He just turned around and handed you your sleeping clothes and gave you a good night kiss before he got out of your shared room.

He would rather sleep in the couch again than hear you call Jaehyun in your dreams. “When will you love me again,” he sighed and closed his eyes. He was so frustrated that he didn’t noticed you standing quietly beside him until you scoot over and forces him to hug you.

Of course he couldn’t stay disappointed with you forever.

“Good thing I bought a huge couch” he joked and kept you close, “aren’t you cold?” He was referring to the clothes you’re wearing.

“I am and that’s why I’m here” hugged him tighter, he rolled his eyes but kissed you on the lips.

“Just tell me if you’re having a hard time already. You know I can handle the truth— but as long as you return my kisses and you show me affection, forgive me Y/n but I will continue to love you”

“I understand,” you raked away his hair from his face before going on top of him, he stopped you from removing your top and pulled you closer to him.

“I just want to hold you close tonight. We haven’t done it in a while”

But the real reason was, Taeyong was scared that maybe this is going to be the last time he can hold you close like this.

The following months were sweeter and better you two noticed. You’ve been having better conversations, quality time and better sex. Life has been so good lately that you see Taeyong’s eyes full of happiness and excitement. And you’re happy it’s all because of you.

And honestly he wished he could say the same thing to you. Now that he had his chance, now that you’re here with him, he just can’t make you happy like how he used to anymore. It’s enough that he tried, and honestly letting you go would be the best decision he can do to you.

The last act of love Taeyong could offer to you.

By the time that you and Taeyong officially separated, you went home and looked for Jaehyun. The last time you saw you him was years ago already, he was sleeping soundly in the hospital bed and now he’s back to being himself. Fixing cars for people. He has long hair now, and he looked healthy.

Of course you didn’t approached him and only watched him from a far. Come to think of it, you became strangers even before you could start your love story properly. The fact that he got into an accident because of you is cruel enough and you can’t let yourself ruin his life again. At least now, he has a peaceful life.

And when you turned around to leave, you feel someone grab your arm and called your name.

“I’ve been waiting for you, please don’t leave” Jaehyun says, begging.

And in that quiet, beautiful afternoon Jaehyun hugged you tight, like he’s never going to let go of you because that’s exactly what he’s gonna do. “It wasn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself anymore— I didn’t get the chance to say sorry to you and Taeyong,”

“It’s all in the past Jaehyun. I’m sorry too” you said to him, raking his long and admiring him under this perfect shade of orange from the sun.

“It’s not going to be easy, but I want us to start again,” he bravely said to you. Of course that’s what you wanted, but just as he mentioned it’s not going to be easy. But you can start with forgiveness. Forgiveness for the both of you, and to fave the future happiness.

You and Jaehyun went to back to square one. Building a life together, finally he bought a new place for you and him. Achieving one of his dreams. No one was rushing, you two made sure to give yourselves time and enough space for your own growth. And if you’re being honest, you like it this way. You can clearly see that love is there, that love is present in your lives. Of course you’ve been through this stage in the past, but this time it’s really different. You your firsts again together. First date, first ‘i love yous’, first time making love and most importantly… first time talking about marriage. And soon Jaehyun asked you to marry you.

“Kids. How about kids, you love kids” you asked him as you adore his wet hair and handsome face. The moon shines beautifully as always in this place, your favorite place with Jaehyun. Your river.

“Well, aren’t you excited?” He teased, “2. I’d love two kids” he smiled and started kissing your neck, “want to make one tonight?”

“Love to” you said with no hesitation.

The end.

——————-

Again, I’m sorry if I disappoint you with my writing. It’s been sooo long. I’m just doing this because I’m stressed all the time and this platform has always been my safe space. So I thank you dearly, if you continue to read my stories, may it new ones or old ones.

Reblogs or comments are always appreciated 💚 thank you! I hope you stay for more.

@ahtisa02 @pckeia @aishee17 @yincotton @lizzytion @justineasian @jjhhoe @fairyflorasworld @naxirah @sunshinedhyuck

@girlwholovespreppyarttire @lalalanct @maliakealoha @bbhmystar @bangtan-jam @yutapleaser

[mistmarauder]

Happy Thursday! I come bearing gifts!

A collection of one-shots by the wonderful @extasiswings as a fic book you can purchase with beautiful cover art from @like-the-rest-of-la. If you're interested, please send me a DM for the link!

This book includes the following Buddie one-shots for your enjoyment:

fire on fire • 6.7k

"You’re sleeping with him.” “I’m not—” Eddie rolls his eyes and corrects himself halfway through. “I’m not sleeping with him like that, okay?” Sophia looks at him for a long moment as her gaze turns from teasing to thoughtful. “But you want to be. Right?” [Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.]

With A Little Help From My Friends • 2.9k

“You know…several of us parents get together once, maybe twice a month or so. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. I can add you to the email chain.” Not for the first time that day, Eddie’s surprised. It’s not that he’s opposed, more that the invitation is unexpected. He’s not particularly social—when he is it’s with the team or with Buck or with his family, all of them in each other’s houses, in each other’s lives both at work and away from it. Outside of them… It occurs to him that he’s never really known how to make friends. [Or: Eddie makes friends outside of work and realizes that Buck might not, in fact, be just a friend]

unfold me (tell me you love me) • 2.4k

Eddie follows the sound of running water to the kitchen. He stops in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and spends a moment just watching Buck scrub potatoes in the sink until the other man glances up and notices him. “Hey,” Buck greets. “Chris is reading in his room, I’m just working on dinner. How was the date?” God, I love you, Eddie thinks, and nearly has to bite his tongue to keep it to himself. [Or: Eddie goes on a date and has some realizations about what he really wants.]

for all the perfect things I doubt • 5.2k

Evan Buckley is really good in bed. Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t.

dream of some epiphany • 7.4k

Evan Buckley is lost. It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door. Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name. Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

of men and of angels • 13.5k

For now we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known. - 1 Corinthians 13:12 Eddie Diaz learns a lot as a kid. Boys aren’t soft. Boys don’t cry. Boys don’t kiss boys. As he gets older, he realizes that everything has exceptions. Boys can be soft sometimes. Boys can cry sometimes. And some boys kiss other boys. But Eddie likes kissing girls. And since he likes kissing girls, that’s the end of the story. Isn’t it? [Or: the one with all the repression]

translate the magic (show me) • 8.1k

“I think I might be bad in bed.” Eddie rolls that thought around in his head, trying to decide the best way to respond, weighing the options of what Buck needs to hear versus how to say it. It’s not a conversation he wants to be having, is part of the problem. Thinking about Buck desperately seeking connection through fleeting sexual encounters with strangers already makes him swallow back a wave of petty jealousy and possessiveness. But there’s an added level of insult to injury to the idea that Buck wasn’t even having good sex. Which maybe explains why despite his initial commitment to delicacy and tact, what comes out of Eddie’s mouth is— “You probably were. Bad at it.” Buck’s eyes widen, a strangled noise sounding from his throat. “Don’t pull any punches,” he shoots back as he hunches in the chair and drains the last dregs of his beer. “I didn’t mean it like that.” [Or: the one where Buck has a crisis and Eddie teaches him what good sex really is]

paint me a heaven with your bloodied mouth • 3.3k

Buck. Four letters. One syllable. Eddie knows it’s a nickname. He doesn’t know why Buck picked it or why Buck seems to use it exclusively, but he figures it isn’t really his business. And also that it probably isn’t that deep—all of them use nicknames at work or otherwise in their daily lives. Eddie himself might find it weird if anyone outside of his immediate family suddenly started using his full name regularly after so many years of only rarely hearing it from anyone else. So. Eddie calls Buck Buck. And he doesn’t think anything of it. At least…not at first.

all my atoms • 3.9k

Every atom of me and every atom of you...we'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pin trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams...and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two. There are three things every child learns about daemons: Don’t ask questions or talk about another person’s daemon—it’s rude. Don’t put too much distance between yourself and your daemon—it’ll hurt. Under no circumstances should you ever touch someone else’s daemon. Simple. Straightforward. Easy to remember, easier to follow. That’s what Eddie thinks of the rules.

half agony, half hope • 4.4k

“My brother does look well tonight, doesn’t he?” Adriana asks, changing the subject as they turn. Her eyes spark with mischief when Buck hums idly in agreement. “Strange that bruise on his neck, though. I can’t imagine how he could have gotten such a thing.” “Perhaps his fencing partner got a bit overzealous,” he offers, despite knowing that won’t be good enough for her to drop it. [Or, after four seasons, the ton remains baffled that no engagement appears forthcoming between Viscount Buckley and the youngest sister of the Duke of Cederhall. But perhaps they should be paying more attention to the viscount and the duke himself...]

safety and home • 3.1k

The thing Eddie remembers most about the shooting isn’t the shot itself, or the pain, or even the fear—it’s the cold. He’s been through enough in his life to know that his subconscious works in weird ways. After Afghanistan he dreamed more directly of burning helicopters and gunfire, blood in his mouth and smoke on his tongue. Shadows and screams and guilt. After the well his dreams were of Christopher, Shannon, waves crashing on a beach. And Buck. Sunlight. This time...this time Eddie dreams of drowning. [For the prompt: "I'll keep you warm."]

light the dynamite • 1.6k

Buck shivers as he thinks back to earlier in the day, at the way Eddie snapped his name like a whip across the radio when he did exactly what Eddie and Bobby both had told him not to do. At the frosty glad to hear it, Firefighter Buckley, when Buck called dispatch back to tell Eddie he was fine if a little bruised. At the way Eddie had called him at the end of the shift, voice low and quiet and commanding, hooking deep beneath Buck’s skin and stealing the breath from his lungs until all he could manage was a rasping acknowledgment before hanging up. It could be seconds, or minutes, or an hour more, but finally the bedroom door clicks open and— “So you do know how to follow instructions,” Eddie says, the edge in his voice not quite sharp enough to cut but a warning nonetheless. “I was wondering.”

show your cards • 2.7k

“What was this tonight?” Buck rasps, his voice rough as sandpaper to his own ears. Eddie’s lips quirk as his eyes flick to somewhere just to the left of Buck’s ear like he can’t respond if he’s looking at Buck outright. “It was dinner, Buck,” he says. “Dinner and a poker game.” And Buck could leave it there. Honestly, he probably should leave it there, leave it alone, let it drop despite the fact that he can practically taste the lie in the air. But he’s too warm and his pulse is so fast that he’s dizzy with it and Eddie is so close that Buck can’t breathe so he can’t help himself— “Eddie.” His voice cracks. Eddie looks back at him, meets his gaze. Slowly, with more than enough time for Buck to move or to stop him, Eddie brings a hand up to curl around Buck’s shoulder, his thumb brushing Buck’s neck in a way that lights up every inch of his skin. “Tonight was whatever you want it to be,” Eddie corrects finally. “No more, no less.”

you make my heart beat • 1.9k

Eddie Diaz knows two things: 1) he's a great nurse; and 2) he does not fall for patients. After spending five months with Evan Buckley...well. Maybe that second one is a little more of an open question.

graveyard whistling (and why things hurt) • 3.2k

“Eddie?” Buck’s hand touches his shoulder and Eddie inhales sharply and comes back to himself. His eyes flick back to the phone—the screen now dimmed and black—then settle on the counter next to it as he swallows hard. “You okay?” Buck asks quietly. “She died today,” Eddie replies. “And I forgot. I forgot that it was today.”

only human, nothing more • 1.9k

It’s stupid maybe, but it feels a little like something happens in that chair. They cut away the softness and leave behind sharp regulation edges and it doesn’t stop Eddie from being afraid, but it...helps. Helps him pretend. Helps him fall into the role of someone who is responsible, someone who knows what they’re doing, someone who— Someone who is in control. (Stupid, maybe. Stupid, definitely, is what he settles on years later when he’s back from war, trapped in his own head and drowning on dry land, because regulation edges make him flinch when he looks in the mirror and he knows no haircut in the world is going to help him fake his way back to normalcy. So he just lets it grow again. It doesn’t matter anyway.) [Or: Eddie introspection through the seasons as explored through haircuts]

It’s 5.5 x 8.5 in. and 319 pages.

Of course, no money is being made off of this collection. Here's the evidence of that:

(For other 9-1-1 fic books, check out @tsoanatural's fic book tag here. For "Stuck on Fast Forward (Throw Away the Blueprint)" by @extasiswings, you can check out my post here.)

[raysources]

𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒     —     a collection of one - liners taken from the soundtrack of the 2015 broadway musical, school of rock.   slightly edited for clarity.   change pronouns as necessary.  

just wait and see!

let 'em laugh.

i know my time is comin'.

no one'll call me a loser again!

try to walk as if you're going somewhere.

the pressure's on for you and me.

don't, and it will mean i go ballistic.

good luck, have fun!

just like the good old days!

you've always been a dreamer.

give up your dreams.

your dreams are lame and weak.

we ought to cut the bull and just get real.

give up your dreams, and get a freakin' job.

join the grown - up world like us.

quickly, don't let anybody see you!

how come you never told me you could play music?

you ever play electric guitar?

let's waste that time together, shall we?

you're in the band!

don't forget to emote!

i only play classical.

that's good. for my grandma. who's, uh, dead.

i still don't have a job.

is that something you could swing?

i'm putting you in charge of the whole damn thing!

i pledge allegiance to the band.

if you're in raise your hand!

you never let me get in a word.

no matter what it is that i do, it's like i just can't seem to get through.

i've got so much to say.

still, you never listen.

can't you see i'm hurting?

i promise, one day i'll make you hear.

i'm not the kid you want me to be.

you just don't wanna see the real me.

you just keep shutting me out.

i'm not gonna beg you — you'll never see a tear.

the legend of the rent was way past due.

how can you kick me out of what is mine?

you're not hardcore unless you live hardcore.

what it all can mean is quite confounding.

the children all like him more than us.

who knows what he does but god, it works!

maybe we too could do some good.

there's been one solution since the world began : don't just sit and take it, stick it to the man!

get all of your aggression out.

stick it to the man!

go off the script, do what you like.

they hate it, they can take a hike.

why live your life to someone else's plan?

crank the amps to 17!

don't just sit and take it, stick it to the man!

show 'em what rebellion means!

why march to someone else's caravan?

there's no way you can stop the school of rock!

i'm in charge!

go punk, or start packing.

it's time to play!

come on, this isn't hard!

make sure he remembers, or i'm breaking both your necks.

we don't have time to waste while you try to find some taste!

i can still remember how the music used to be.

where do last year's one - hit - wonders go to?

what happened to the girl i was?

guess the songs kept playing, but i didn't stop to hear.

where's the joy i used to know, way back when?

sorry for the outburst.

let's keep this our secret, who'd believe it anyway?

thanks for the reminder that there's music in me yet.

if you flip the record and start over, does it sound the way it did before?

he can barely read!

i promise you, i can read!

we're gonna sue!

his ass belongs in jail!

i'm a loser, okay?

i used you.

worst of all, i wasted your time.

i thought nobody could, but you, you understood.

you raised my voice up, taught me not to fear.

i've learned who i am because you're here.

school won't be the same without you here.

now that i've found you, you can't just disappear.

you've taught me so much since you've been here.

two and two make five!

rock got no reason, rock got no rhyme.

i've been biting my tongue too many times.

today's assignment : kick some ass!

[bakeryblood]

vampire eddie, biting kink, some sort of handcuff usage. go nuts.

Take It Easy

Pt. 1

Vampire!Eddie Munson x Male Reader

cw: Alcohol, Angst, Depression, Blood

Y/N shifted the van into park before pulling the keys out of the ignition. Starting out at the seemingly abandoned trailer home Wayne Munson and his Nephew used to reside in. Every time, every week you came it was always the same. The same melancholy mixed with existential dread washed over your body as you grabbed your bag and hopped out of the drivers seat, quickly heading up the short flight of stairs and creaking open the metal door.

No hats lined the walls anymore, no collection of mugs on display. Wayne had taken anything and everything of sentimental value out of the trailer when he left months ago. The day he finished packing and you’d come by as you always did he stopped filling the box and walked over to you.

“Y/N..please stop coming here…He’s not coming back.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing but as you watched the older gentleman’s resolve crumble and a tear fell from his eye you knew he was just tired of waiting and hoping that Eddie would burst through that door one night. He’d missed too much work and sleep in the last weeks and he just couldn’t stay there anymore.

You bit your lip as you looked up at the tear in the roof, insulation where the black vines used to fill the space. There were still marks on the ceiling that reminded you of burns, stretching out, making vein like patterns. Wayne took your hand and placed something small and cold into it tearing you from your thoughts as you looked down at the set of keys, quickly looking back at him and shaking your head.

“Wayne, I can’t.”

“You can and you will Y/N. Along with anything else in his room, take it. The apartment doesn’t even have enough room for most of my things..he’d rather you have it than..” He trailed off with a shuttered breath, unable to finish his thought process of taking his missing nephew’s belongings to a donation center. Y/N wanted to cry but it was as if they’d run out of tears as they felt their face get hot, going into his room was so painful he could understand Wayne preferring someone else handle the task.

Walking over to the dresser that had sheets with music and lyrics written on them, notebooks with his future campaign plans. You couldn’t read anymore. You didn’t want to continue to test your body’s ability to not break down again, but as you went and sat on the untouched bed still as messy as the last day he’d managed to pull himself out of it. You leant over and hid your face in your arms as you heard the loud noise of the box tape being stretched out and placed on the seam of the cardboard box.

________________________________________

Dust flies into the air as the old Chevy van barreled down the dirt driveway of the trailer park, the couple sitting outside of their RV hollering at the driver to ‘slow the fuck down’, that there’s kids that live here despite it being close to midnight at that point.

As Y/N stepped out and slammed the car door he looked towards the flickering out of season Christmas lights and raised the hand that wasn’t holding a six-pack of beers connected at the top by rings of plastic and flipped them the bird before making his way up to the trailer, almost tripping up the steps and bursting through the door face first, thankfully catching himself before swinging it open after a moment of struggling to get it open. It always had a habit of sticking, Wayne or Eddie would usually spray the hinges and latch with WD-40 both to avoid forcing it and to keep from disturbing the other’s sleep schedule as they tended to sleep and come home at opposite times.

The old woman looked over at her husband as he tossed another old newspaper into the small fire they had in the pit in front of them. “Been a while since anyone lived there, should we ring the police?”

Her husband scoffed and shook his head. “You old bat, that’s Wayne’s place. Either it’s one of his boys friends or another shit bird coming to use it to smoke dope. Either way, it ain’t our business..” His wife glared at his insult before standing up and pulling her robe around herself in a comforting fashion. It was true that she’d forgotten, but seeing that van pull in like a bat out of hell did seem to jog her memory.

Three months. Y/N closed and locked the trailer door behind him as he walked in and assessed the condition of a place he used to spend so much time at. Taking his lighter out of his pocket he flicked it open and the small amount of light was enough to illuminate the space of the living room and some of kitchen. Dust particles along with what was likely airborne insulation floated around as he walked around looking at the graffiti littering the walls.

‘Hawkins Local Freak: Missing’

A debatably badly drawn pentagram in red spray paint. Y/N chuckled softly and shook his head as he went to the kitchen bar and placed his beer down before pulling one from the plastic. “Never were many people as creative as you where Eddie. Not here anyway..” Y/N popped the tab on the can and tossed it back, flicking his lighter closed as he felt it begin to heat up passed a point of comfortable holding as he slammed the first beer of that pack.

This wasn’t a regular hobby of his, racing as fast as he could towards getting black out drunk. In the last six months he’d only drank one other time over at Steve’s house and quickly excused himself to go sleep off the alcohol in their bed while he kept himself company. Tonight just seemed right for it. Since Wayne abandoned the place he spent a couple months visiting the home, spending time with what items of Eddie’s he’d left there. His guitar for one. Occasionally he would see that the curtain in the window had been moved to the side, bunched up slightly and he’d rush inside to find no signs anyone had really been there.

Eddie had been a big influence in Hawkins, both good and bad. The kids looked up to him so much and missed the head of hellfire dearly whilst others still considered it a good thing he had ‘skipped town’ after the cult leader accusations arose. Y/N knew he would have wanted him to do everything he could to look after Dustin, keep Steve from teachin’ him wrong. He knew he would have wanted you to take his campaign notes and keep hellfire alive.

But you failed. You gave up. You dropped out of school and slowly allowed yourself to drift away from the teens, unable to keep hearing their concerned voices as they asked you if you were okay almost every day. You could read them just as well as they could read you. They knew you weren’t okay and you knew they didn’t believe you when you said you were.

“I’m sorry Eddie..I miss you so fucking much..” Y/N leaned over on to the counter they had kept a hand on as to not get lost in the dark and they rocked. As unhealthy as it had been for him to continue to hold out hope, he felt so empty now. Like Eddie would have really let him have it if they saw him now. ‘Drinking is supposed to be fun you idiot.’

‘Wow, six months and you give up on me?’

Y/N wiped his eyes and felt for the wet, condensation covered cans of beer as he desperately held onto those thoughts. Their voice was still fresh in his mind. ‘Look on the bright side, at least you got to keep all my cool shit!’ Y/N grabbed his lighter after popping the top on the can and headed off for the bedroom, which was surprisingly in much better condition. Where the living room had been littered with cans, bottles and cigarette butts stomped out into the carpet Eddie’s room seemed untouched.

Considering how many of the people who detested him were all talk, more likely to be fearful of what might happen if they actually happened to run across the man who had been missing for the last six months, it wasn’t all that surprising. The bed was still as Y/N had left it on one of his many visits, making up the sheets. Besides his books, notes and stereo you had left everything else. Walking over to the rack of cassette tapes you set the open lighter on the tall dresser and left for your Walkman in your pocket before squinting to read the messily scribbled band names on the mixtapes.

‘1983-1986’ Pretty straight to the point for Eddie who tended to label his tapes with a silly name or label the vibe to them unless it was an actual bands tape he bought. Y/N stuck the cassette in his Walkman and slipped the headset off his neck and atop his head, listening as he looked over his shelves of things, cigar boxes he used for different little items. Movie ticket stubs, jewelry, the occasional banished DnD die or photograph.

Opening one that seemed to sit on top, first thing his eyes landed on was a tiny bag of white powder. Y/N’s head dropped as he sat the box down and picked the baggy up, rolling his thumb over the top of it. The light from his lighter disappeared as it fell over and Y/N stood up quickly from his crouched position next to the bookshelf, hands stretched out to feel his way until a faint red glow shown through the cracked bedroom door just enough for him to see his silver lighter laying on its side atop the dresser.

Y/N looked from it to the bedroom door and after pocketing it he slowly made his way over, stopping only for a moment to grab Eddie’s baseball bat from his very brief stent of little league that sat behind his door whenever it was open. Held at his side as he walked down the wall trepidation building more and more the brighter the red tint seemed to get. Like he had been transported into a photographers darkroom. It was the gate.

Y/N’s breath caught in his chest as he stared it down, part of him wanting to rush out and tell the others. So they could bring Eleven to close it. But the rest of him fought against those thought, what if he was still in there? Y/N felt the tears begin to bubble up in his eyes once again as he made his way to stand under it, gripping the metal beer can in his hand tightly before tossing it up through the portal as hard as he could as the track on the tape clicked to the next song, ‘Master of Puppets’. He couldn’t take this anymore.

Y/N ripped the Walkman from his pocket taking the headset with it and threw it against the wall of the trailer affectively smashing it to pieces as he screamed in anger. Crying was no longer enough for him to regulate his emotions, hell, it had never seemed to do much anyway. “Fuck you! Fuck you Eddie! You damn bastard! You always talked about being a coward, why couldn’t you just run!” Y/N held the sides of his head, the level of their own voice gave a headache the opportunity to start forming.

As he couched down holding himself he heard something that caused him to slowly pull his hands away from their face, uncovering their ears as they slowly turned their head in the direction of the kitchen. It had sounded like something or, someone, had opened and closed the fridge that sat currently inoperational given the trailer didn’t have electricity currently running to it. It was hard to make out anything for certain with the red cast over everything, shadows seemed darker.

“Well damn Y/N, tell me how you really feel.” Snapping their face forward at the voice coming from above them, they were finally ready to admit, they had lost it.

Eddie Munson, in all his glory, wasn’t just there in front of them. Being alive would have been enough to make them faint, but the fact that he had been levitating momentarily. You watched, shaking slightly as he slowly lowered to the floor. His black boots leaving soot and ash on the already filthy carpet as he stared down at you. “Y-You’re…alive?”

He attempted to suppress a smile as he tilted his head back and forth, his dirty hair, crunchy with dried blood swaying as he did. “I wouldn’t say that.” Y/N’s eyes scanned him over in more detail. Taking in his torn, blood stained hellfire shirt, he’d lost his outside layers they had left him there in, his bandana was tied around his neck and his injuries were healed from what you could tell.

Y/N scrambled up off the floor and leaned in closer to him causing Eddie to recoiled a few steps back as the young man made his advances. How fucking dare he. You didn’t care if this was a hallucination or what but this version of Eddie wasn’t going to just run away from you. “You— Piece of shit! Come here!” Y/N grabbed their arm and quickly pulled their hand away. He had heard the Byers youngest child talk about the upside down and how he felt like he never could quiet shake the cold it left him with.

But this was different. If you had ever once had the opportunity to feel a cadavers skin that’s what it must’ve felt like. Frozen. “Y/N..” You were now the one backing away from them. This wasn’t real.. And if it was, it wasn’t Eddie.

“You aren’t real..”

Eddie feigned a hurt expression and held up his arm, dirty with black marks. “You felt me, I’m here. I’m real.” Y/N shook his head as he felt his lower back press against the edge of the kitchen counter that separated one area from the other. “This is a sick joke my mind is playing on me. I’m..”

Eddie seemed to grow irritated at the notion that he was just a figment of your imagination. Three months alone in that hellscape and the first chance he got to escape this was his welcome home party? “I’m sorry I couldn’t do better for you Ed, I’m sorry I let them leave you there.”

In a split second he was on you, it almost was like the counter shook from the force of his hands coming into contact with it to stop himself. “Y/N, you’ve been my friend since middle school. I’m back now, so save the obituary, please.” He growled as your eyes were locked onto each others. That was true, you had been friends since middle school, and this was the first time Munson ever had made the hair on the back of your stand up.

You saw him give a hard swallow before pushing himself back off the counter and walking away from you again, he seemed like he wanted to keep a solid eight feet between you at all times. You just couldn’t do that, despite how filthy he was the moment your brain accepted the fact that he was truly there you rushed him, wrapping your arms around him as he threw his up in the air. “Y/N, stop. You need to get off of me.”

“Save it Munson, you can yell at me later.” You pressed your face against his neck and it was the same as his arm, though perhaps the shock in the moment made your senses exaggerate the feeling.

“Y/N…Why do you think that place suddenly let me leave like it did?” You lifted your shoulders in a shrug, letting them drop back to normal as he slowly let his hands creep up you, one resting on your lower back and the other coming up to rest between your shoulder blades. “It’s because it wanted me to..”

“I don’t care Eddie, that’s so far from being important right now. I don’t care how you made it out, you’re here now.” You we’re so scared if you pulled away he would just disappear. Proving to be a hallucination after all. The silence between you was so loud until Eddie finally spoke up again.

“Y/N..I’m sorry…” You lifted your head up to look at him before you felt the sharp pain of him biting into the crook of your neck, sharp teeth sinking into it you were the consistency of an apple. You grabbed a handful of his hair and surprisingly it was quite easy to pull him off of your neck, although not a comfortable feeling. Reaching up to guard the bleeding wound you stared at him in disbelief as he breathed heavily, standing there as if he was torn between making a break for it and leaping upon you like a wild animal.

“Y-you bit me!” You looked over at the front door before making a few long, quick strides for it. The wet, warm sensation of the blood slicking your hand as the man stayed where he was, licking his bottom lip as he watched you begin your attempt to leave.

“I told you to back off didn’t I?” As you pulled the handle a few times, cursing as you pulled your bloody hand off your neck to use both of them on the ‘stupid jammed piece of shit door’ until you felt him on you again, pressing himself against your back and your front against the cold metal trailer door. “Don’t make me force this, I don’t want it to hurt more than it has to—“

“Stop it! This is one of your horror comics Eddie, you don’t need—“ His hand went to the back of your head, pressing the side of your face it against the door roughly as he moved his face beside yours growling before speaking.

“Because you know what this feels like? To feel absolutely nothing for fuck knows how long and finally after getting back your skin begins to crawl.” He clenched his jaw as he nuzzled his head against yours. “Begging you to give in to your new instincts in exchange for saving you from death, you know that feeling?” He didn’t want to do it to you, out of anyone not you. But you were here. You were so warm. He could smell the remnants of cologne on your skin and the beer on your breath. He could taste the ethanol in your blood.

“Then..fucking doing it..” Perhaps under different circumstances, when his mind wasn’t overtaken by the need to feed, he would have hesitated. Lacing his fingers into your hair he gave your head a tug to the side to better expose the mark he had made earlier, giving you a small taste of payback for yanking him off of you the way you had.

As he took up the space again, mouth working over the wound you couldn’t help but allow yourself to feel a sense of hedonistic pleasure from it. Adrenaline fought the pain back while your touch starved skin was ravaged by him, once the first mark at clotted he bit down again. You only had yourself to blame being the one who stopped him earlier, now in no position to do so again. You groaned in pain as he pulled out of your flesh only for a moment to come back down, doing his best to suction as much blood from the wound before lapping at it.

It wasn’t most lucrative way for him to get what he wanted but between his animalistic urges and what he had known from his horror comics you’d mentioned, it was all he knew to do in the moment. And once he had gotten enough to finally push himself away from you the both of you realized the gate had again gone dormant leaving you in the pitch black darkness once again. He could see you perfectly fine as you turned around and looked around blindly holding your tender, painful neck.

He was truly disgusted with himself, the type of shame a young boy feels the first time they touch themselves. He felt like a monster, he knew he was a monster. He wasn’t the Eddie you knew anymore and he proved it. “Eddie..?”

You felt your pockets for the lighter you’d forgotten about until then and flicked it on, holding it up as you walked forward towards the figure leaning over with his arms against the wall of the trailer, his back facing you as he attempted to heave. Before you could get close enough to reach out and touch him he spoke up. “Get the fuck away from me Y/N!”

You scoffed lightly offended at his aggressive tone, you were past being scared of him. “You already ate, Dracula. I’m not leaving you here anyways.” You had wanted to tell him to calm down, that you were the one with multiple punctures in your neck right now, but the way he was looking at you like you were the deranged one in this scenario made you hold back.

“And what, I’ll just hide in your closet during the day?” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the kitchen bar, picking up the van keys and jingling them at him. “You don’t even know if you ‘can’t go out in the sun’ yet, But I do know that you fuckin’ smell.”

[maochira]

Ok so we've seen many younger sibling readers, now what of older sibling reader

Like imagine if nagi had a semi protective older sibling, who does want people to use their younger brother, since he is talented. And when they meet Reo, they don't like him, but Nagi is just like, "We're kinda using each other" (he gets money/spoiled & reo get a soccer star)

And a bit after that reader kinda just adopts Reo as their younger brother as well. And when blue lock comes round its kinda sad since instead of saying bye for now to one brother, they have to say bye to two, also with the *fun* aftermath of what goes down in blue lock between the two

Also, older sibling and Nagi having matching cacti just seems very cute

This sounds fun to write!! Thank you very much anon! I'm totally open to writing older sibling!reader headcanons more often if I get requests for it!

Tags: older sibling!Nagi!reader, some fluff I think, idk what else to tag I wrote this after eating a bagel

-you're older than Seishirou by a few years, and you've always been fairly protective of him. You know he literally can not take care of himself on his own so you live with him while your parents are travelling

-you've noticed his talent ever since you were kids and always hoped he would use it for anything in his future, but Seishirou being Seishirou, he didn't (until he met Reo, of course)

-you've always been concerned about Nagi's lack of friends, but he would always tell you making and keeping friends is way too exhausting

-but when he does start bringing a friend home very now and then, you can't help but dislike that guy. Reo Mikage.

-to you, it seems like Reo is only taking advantage of your little brother, so you kind of start shit-talking Reo towards Seishirou

-Seishirou doesn't care for what you say about Reo, though

-and the more often Reo comes over, you can't help but let him slowly grow onto your heart. The older sibling instinct really kicking in

-and soon, you're their biggest supporter when it comes to their soccer careers! Especially after Reo told you about his parents and their opinion on him and soccer

-when they leave to go to Blue Lock, you promised yourself you wouldn't cry while saying goodbye. But that didn't really work because you end up as a teary mess, but reassuring both of them that you'll be fine

-and while they're in Blue Lock, yeah we all know what happens. You've got both of them telling you their side of the story and you try to be there for both of them. You know you really can't make them communicate and fix everything, especially because you want them to learn and collect experience on their own. You do try to give them advice, though

-I struggled figuring out where exactly do put this, but omg I love the thought of Seishirou and you having matching plants. But instead of a matching cacti, I think you would have another plant like a succulent!

[room-surprise]

Delicious in Dungeon Anime Season 1, Episode 2 Review

Spoilers for season 1, episode 2 below the cut! There may also be mild manga spoilers so proceed with caution.

This episode was great! I think it was a big improvement on the first. Honestly no real complaints... I do kind of wish both Marcille and Chilchuck could have had stand-alone episodes dedicated to their character development, to allow for a deeper focus, but I understand why they didn't do it, and the pacing was still excellent. I do still sometimes feel like the show is in fast-forward at times, because with 3 meals in one episode, it feels like the characters finish eating, and we jump cut to them saying that they're hungry again, without anything to help really impress upon viewers that time has passed. Makes it feel a bit like we're reading a collection of short 4-panel gag comics instead of a continuing story… which, early Dungeon Meshi DOES have that as part of it's format, but it changes with time, as we get into longer individual stories.

During the Basilisk/Doni and FIonil section, I really do miss some of the dry humor from the manga. ("Hurry, he's getting cold!" "Move him closer to the fire!") The hilarity of slowly preparing a meal while someone is dying of poison has unfortunately been lost, which makes Doni and Fionil much less memorable characters…. But it benefits the other 2 stories in the ep to have more time so I think it was the right choice to make. It also gives people something to go back and read the manga for, since it's a little different! If you're reading this and you're an anime only, consider reading the manga while you watch the anime! I promise it's worth it. I'm excited about next week because I think they'll devote the entire episode to Laios and the living armors, which is me and my spouse's favorite early DM storyline, and the part where we both said "Oh, I LOVE this manga..." and got really invested. It's 2 chapters in the manga so it could be an entire episode…. which also would make sense, if that's why they needed to crunch 3 chapters into episode 2. Just like the first episode, animation was fantastic, and as usual the weakest points are when characters are just walking or talking and not doing much. Everything more dynamic is just bouncy and adorable and full of life. Very rarely is anything animated in a dull or flat way. They're doing their best to use "move a drawing around" or "zoom on a drawing" for comic effect and I think it's working well so far. There's some great animal animation in this episode, the bat flying around and the basilisk chasing Marcille in particular. Translation was better this time around, no dumb modern or game references in the dub ("newbs" "as if" etc.) … But there are differences between the subtitles and the dub script that change how easy it is to understand what's happening. When Senshi tells Chilchuck to cut up the giant bat, the subtitles make it hard to understand what he's telling him to do, and the dub makes it a lot clearer. In the subs when Senshi calls Chilchuck a half-foot child, the subtitles say "I'm not a child" and the dub says "I hate it when people call me 'kid'"… The latter is more interesting for keeping the mystery going for things that happen later in the story. If the show continues like this, I think the English dub may be the more satisfying way to watch it (even though the Japanese performances are great), mostly because the subs are very literal and sometimes miss things that the English dub somehow manages to include. And for some reason Netflix isn't including translation of Japanese signs on-screen during the subtitles, but they DO provide them when you watch the English dub. A lot of Dungeon Meshi's humor is sometimes in those background signs so completely missing out on them sucks. Anyway those are my thoughts for this episode! See you next week Meshiheads.

[destinyc1020]

Hey there.

To the anonymous that brought up Taylor and Zendaya's rabid fans. I absolutely do think they both have talked to their respective partners about moving their lives forward, whether it be marriage or children.

I think people naively believe Tom may be the one pulling strings in that department, but people really need to listen at what Zendaya, especially at this time, is speaking on. I think she may want children even more so than Tom. Dont let that past Sway interview keep you clueless. That's why they call it the past. She was young, just turning 21, she's not anymore, and she's nearing 30. Mindsets are different as the years go by. Hearts change, and so do our thoughts on what we prioritize. You have to realize he had just done an interview where he stated he didn't even want children and then comes just a little bit of time down the road while filming and he had a change of heart, which I'm sure he didn't just have that on his own. Especially if they each feel like they've found the one they would like to have be the parent of your future children.

I always think on Vivica Fox, she literally cried during an interview stating she wish that she had not let life pass her by and had conceived children in her late twenty's early thirties. She stated she was too caught up in trying to get the bag that she literally kept putting it off and then she found herself later in life not being able to conceive at all then realized she was close to menopause. She balled and stated how that is the one thing in life she still regrets to this day. That's sad. Regret is a beast especially when people who don't really know you think they know what's best for you. Regardless, if we've grown up with her or not, famous people's lives are their own.

So, with that all being said, fans need to stay in a fans place. Including me, and just enjoy the ride, and don't dictate what you think or think you know what is better for someone. We don't own anyone. What they choose to do is what they choose. Just enjoy the ride and remain a backseat driver. 😁.

They are here to entertain us, and that is all. I guarantee if she or Taylor decides to have kids with whom they are currently with, you do best to be happy or believe me. They won't be showing the fans anything. Especially about their personal lives. They will be Olsen twinning everyone. We didn't know the one was pregnant until the baby was a month old. 🤣 I ain't hardly mad. 😆

I see the changes...in my mind, and only by observing the written word or video interviews, speaking on Zendaya, she may have removed herself from social media for work purposes, but I believe she/they have given themselves a timeline. She ain't trying to hear nor feel anything negative, like she herself states, " she overthinks. And she wants to please her fans in some manner, or at least hope they will be happy and stand with her on her decisions. Or dare i say try to understand her decisions. Remember... Law and Darnell are also looking to move their lives forward as well.

I smiled at the idea she had for Rue being a surrogate. But, I didn't smile long, I actually felt what a great way to hide a real pregnancy. I could absolutely see that happening. Especially if they put it in as a rape scenario since she owes the money and they sent goons to collect. She wouldn't know who the babies father is, and she decides to keep the baby. You'd hate to see, but that's real shit right there. That can, will, and does happen in real life. I've watched too much THE FIRST 48. THAT SHOW IS A BEAST BY THE WAY. I thought, damn if they did that, wow... talk about a 3rd Emmy. No one would have a clue. And once the season ended... look, who was expecting it for real. It's all farfetched... or is it??? Hmmm...

Anyway, theirs my rant. Love the Sunday confessions, I feel alot better. 😂

TOODLES 👋 👋 👋

YES!!! All of this! VERY well said Anon! I couldn't agree w/you more! Of COURSE Tom and Z have talked marriage and kids, etc. Tom wouldn't be telling the media something that he and his gf haven't spoken about to each other. Let's get freakin' real. So if he's excited about having kids, then obviously Z is too! She definitely wants children some day. I think that's pretty obvious. She's found the love of her life, and so has he. They're BOTH ready imo. Maybe now isn't the best time, but I think fans are naive if they think that they aren't going to be having kids lol...whether it's with each other, or some other partner later on down the line (but I'm guessing it's probably going to be w/each other lol🤭).

Btw...that's so sad about Vivica Fox. I never knew that. 🥺