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idiotic-genius · 3 years

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How to write an immersive scene

requested by @noa-i - check out their blog, they have amazing lists of helpful links to writing guides!

As a writer, it is mostly inevitable to get to the point in writing where you are questioning whether anyone will actually want to read what they have created. A question greatly important to writing something the reader gets hooked up with is: How do I lure them in and make them feel like they are part of something? Sometimes, writing immersive makes THE difference between a scene quick to skip over and a scene you can't take your eyes off. But how do you create immersion?

In this post: 1. Worldbuilding 2. Narrators 3. Writing visually 4. Setting the scene 5. Example to summarize

Step 1: Learn your own facts

It might be banal, since you are the author, to re-read your own notes and think about what you have written so far. However, to get the reader hooked up, make them INTERESTED. This is easily accomplished by creating a detailed fictional world that doesn't seem flat. It might be a tiring process, but it always pays off! Knowing exactly what kind of world your character finds themself in makes it a lot easier to fill in details that subconsciously make the reader believe they are dealing with an actual real-world instead of "just" a fictional one. But even though it may seem harsh, cutting out some details and facts might make the reader feel much more comfortable. Their mind wants to insert them into the universe they're reading about, so overloading them with too many unnecessary details can be just as defeating as giving them too little info. Here is a link to a great beginners-guide on worldbuilding.

Step 2: Know your narrator

As we all know, there are a bunch of different narrator types to pick from when starting a new story, and each of them is good for a different thing- reaching from the typical first-person narrator (The Hunger Games, Percy Jackson) over personal third-person (Warrior Cats, Harry Potter) to omniscient third-person (Anne of Green Gables) and biased third-person (A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). If you are writing an unbiased third-person narrator in your WIP, you can just skip this step. However, if you have any indication at all in your story as to who the narrator is, you might want to think about this more closely. The narrator is the bridge that connects the reader to the fictional world. To immerse the reader in a book, it's usually easiest to use the first-person narrator or the personal third-person narrator, because that way the reader will either imagine themself as the narrator or as a friend of the main character, which keeps them interested. If your narrator is an actual character in the story, it is necessary to keep their speech and description patterns consistent with themselves and the events of the story. For example, a character narrating that has never visited a school or similar should not use highly scientific words to describe what's going on, etc, because it will interrupt the reader's reading flow and disturb the immersion just as much as time skips do.

Step 3: Writing visually

After making sure you have the narrator and the world they're in all set, it's time to choose a writing style, more specifically, to decide the visuality of it. What I mean by that is that having a fictional world so flat it's boring is just as bad as not describing it in a way that delivers it in the way it deserves to be delivered. Picture it like this: Every scene starts in a white room, with neither windows nor doors. If you as the writer don't describe what is going on in that room and what it looks like, at best while keeping the narrator's character in mind while doing so (to make it "3D"), the reader will never know what is actually happening. This also includes adapting the length and complexity of sentences to the scene: In a combat scene, you will usually find short and cut-throat sentences to represent the intensity and living-in-the-moment mindset of a fight, however, in a meaningful conversation between two characters about a heavy subject, it's more likely that longer and more complex sentences are of use to mirror the narrator's deep thinking of the subject and their concentration on the conversation.

Step 4: Setting the scene

By setting the scene, you fill in this white room in the reader's mind, adding characters, sounds, furniture, windows, and scenery in general, while still leaving space for the reader to fill in the blanks. To find a middle between these two extremes is up to every individual writer and depends on the writing style. If you over-describe the room, the reader will know every detail about it, but it will take away their focus from what is actually happening in the scene. However, if you don't set the scene at all, the reader automatically makes up what the room might look like based on what they imagine, and then breaks out of the immersion as soon as you mention something, later on, to be in the room that they did not picture. For example, if you just say that A enters B's bedroom, the reader might quite as well imagine there to be small windows, some bookshelves, a standard bed, etc. If you don't set that up right in the beginning and later on mention that B has small windows, the books stacked on the floor, a bunch of plants, an aquarium, and a bunk bed, the reader will get confused because it doesn't fit what they had pictured before. So ask yourself: What is so important that the reader should know it before the scene actually starts? Context also matters in that case.

5. Example

In the following, I will write the same scene multiple times in different styles to illustrate what makes a difference in writing immersion. The scene goes as following: Jae falls into a dark room underground with a hooded, mysterious person waiting for him. The hooded person greets him and lights a candle, and in the emitting light, Jae realizes who he is talking to. Remember: These are more caricatures of the different writing styles than actual representation and are very overexaggerated, but you get the idea.

1. first-person narrator (Jae), scene not set properly, no visual writing, no consistency in speech pattern

After three seconds, I landed on something soft and realized I had landed in a chamber underground, slightly lit by the moonlight above me. I walked through the only doorway and found myself in a second room. A hooded figure in the middle of the dark lifted their arm. From the table beside them, they picked up a candle and lit it using a lighter. "Hello, Jae", they said, and in the newly emitting light, I recognized them in front of the fireplace.

-> feels flat and jumpy, gives no significance to the change of scenery

2. biased third-person narrator, scene set properly, overly descriptive visual writing, consistency in speech pattern

After falling for what felt like an hour, even though it was probably just a few seconds, Jae finally landed on something soft. Before even attempting to get up, he shivered at the fresh memory of what slimy, earthy, suddenly appearing tunnels felt like. He stared up through the hole at the moon and the stars, and immediately recognized the constellation of Cassiopeia, high up above him. Cassiopeia is said to have angered the Gods, so they gave her the gift of divination, but made it so that nobody would ever believe her prophecies, finally banning her into the sky as this constellation. Weirdly enough, the stars' pattern doesn't look like a woman, or a human, at all. Jae slowly stood up from where he landed and realized he had fallen onto a rather big cushion with a print of primroses in yellow, pink, red, and blue. He looked around in my new location and found himself stuck in a small portico with no windows at all and only one doorway. The walls seemed just as dirty and muddy as the tunnel he had fallen through, and as he looked closer, he spotted about a dozen small, pink worms slithering through the soil. The floor on the other hand was made out of dark wooden panels- if you wanted to call it a "floor". The pieces were just loosely stuck onto the earth underneath, and mud squeezed out from the gaps in between. Jae slowly walked over them and reached the doorway after just four steps. He saw a hooded figure standing in the center of the next room. The room had two sources of lighting: One, the moonlight shining through the disgusting tunnel, and two, a crackling fireplace. It looked like it belonged in a small cottage, being made out of red bricks and looking a little old with the small black-and-white pictures put on top of it. The flickering orange glim of the fire met the silvery-white shine of the moon in the middle of the room. On the right side, Jae saw a big old round table made out of similar wood as the floorboards outside. There were obvious scratches on it, some made by smaller knives, others bigger and maybe made by swords, with splinters on their edges. Apart from two, the fours chairs around it seemed just as maltreated, but the two others were polished and reflected the two light sources, with no scratch marks at all. On top of the table rested a metal candlestick with one slightly burned-down candle stuck inside it. The candlestick had a few scratches as well, on the side and at the bottom. "Hello, Jae", the figure said snarkily, with a voice deep and rough like sandpaper. They wore a black cape, smooth on what Jae could see of the inside and rough on the outside, with a big hood covering their hair and most of their face. A few of the blue buttons with a golden pentagram engraved on them were missing from the coat, and it was slightly ripped in a few places. One strand of dark hair fell into the person's eyes as they reached out for the candlestick, lighting the candle inside with a silver zippo-lighter. The lighter had small scratches as well as a few symbols on it. Slowly, the flame grew bigger and bigger, until the shine from below reached the figure's face. Jae's eyes went big as he realized who he was talking to.

-> little place for the reader's fantasy, but details make scenery deeper and less flat. This kind of description does make sense if the narrator/the character the narrator fixates on (Jae in this case) is very observant and/or intelligent because they will notice details that others don't. The question is whether those details are important enough to keep in the story.

3. first-person narrator (Jae), scene set properly, visual writing, consistent speech pattern

After what felt like an eternity of falling and silently begging not to die from the impact, I finally landed with my eyes squeezed shut. Okay, legs, arms, and head still in place... I slowly opened my eyes again, realizing I had landed on a soft pillow with a flower print. Cautiously, I got up, gazing up at the tunnel through which I had fallen. The view of the slimy earth made me shiver involuntarily as I blinked against the bright moonlight far above me. The sky was clear enough to see stars, which could have been far more enjoyable if it hadn't been for my miserable situation. I had landed in a small chamber underground, with a single doorway leading into a bigger room. The walls were just pure earth and seemed to swallow all noise, but when I took the first step, the sounds of my shoes on the dark wooden floorboards and of the mud squishing out from beneath them was louder than I had anticipated. I could hear the crackling of fire from the next room and see the orange glow as I made my way over to the doorway and took a glimpse into it. The room was not very big, but also not as small as the one I had landed in. There wasn't much space because of a wooden round table and four chairs, which all seemed very old and maltreated, judging from the scratches on them. I could make out a few pictures on the fireplace, and in front of that- "Hello, Jae." I had to suppress a gasp as I realized that I was not alone. In the middle of the room, right where the silvery moonlight and the orange glow of the fire met, stood a hooded figure. Their coat looked as old as the few pieces of furniture, with missing buttons and rips. I couldn't make out much of their face, even though I squinted my eyes, but the flickering light made it hard to see anything, let alone recognize. But that voice... Before I could come to a conclusion, the figure reached for a metal candlestick standing on the table and lit the candle inside with a silver lighter. As the flame grew bigger, they dispelled the shadows below the hood that had disguised the person's features before. I could feel my eyes get big as I finally realized who was standing before me.

-> Gives enough information to "fill the white room" without dwelling on details too much, shows the context of the story, gives Jae a consistent personality

So that's it for this post! I hope I managed to pass on a thing or two that I learned while researching and that this post will help you with your writing. Please acknowledge, I am not trying to attack anyone's style of writing!! If you write the way I wrote a "non-immersive" scene, it does NOT mean that your writing style is bad, let alone wrong, because the existence of many different writing styles is what keeps it individual and interesting! Find your own way and let nobody get you down :)

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grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 5 years

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you, basking in moonlight, making my blood sing

i did it again, yessssss. ot3 just calls me and i answer right away! due to my life being in its graduation process i am a bit absent and can’t tend to this blog as often as before, so i can’t wait to get my degree (less than two weeks left asjfpiwekfopwekfw) and come back to fangirl here *^*

in the meantime, as i was saying, i wrote more.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Rating: Teen and Up Audience Pairing: OT3! Jin Ling/Lan SiZhui/Lan JingYi Additional tags: canon Universe, polyamory, disciples ot3, fluff, jin ling trying to flirt, my son grows up so fast- Summary: Jin Ling’s skin tingled at the awareness, so much that he couldn’t meet their eyes while his body came alive, his nerves sparkling with tension and anticipation, his limbs weighting more than they should. He felt sluggish and unfocused -no, that didn’t sound right, it was more like his focus was completely drawn by JingYi and SiZhui.

(Oh, he loved this.

He wanted their attention for himself.) -- Jin Ling seeks attention. He gets a bit more than what he can handle. a.k.a Jin Ling trying to kinda-maybe seduce SiZhui and JingYi -but let's remember who's the Lan boys' teacher.

Read under the cut or ao3.

Jin Ling sheathed Suihua and let his shoulders drop a bit, relishing in the cool breeze that brushed his heated cheeks and blew his hair off his field of vision. No threatening noises came from the area all around them, and the disciples breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing further and slapping palms over backs, grinning enthusiastically at each other.

They were skilled, no doubt about that, and Jin Ling could see the smile of approval on Lan SiZhui’s face, the way his eyes shone with unconstrained pride when they fell on each of his shidis. The hunt went well, no one got hurt and the group of young Lan disciples performed better than the Lanling boy expected, seeing as they all seemed a bit afraid just a couple of days prior. He had felt slightly disappointed when he had seen SiZhui and JingYi greet him at the outskirt of the town where they were going to stay with their disciples in tow -he also got pretty flustered at his own thoughts, refusing to recognise what he was feeling as some sort of unreasonable possessive streak, as if he was that childish to begin with.

(He probably was, though, fully knowing how whatever linked him and them was strong enough to eat his thoughts alive when they were not with him and trail under his skin when they were close, itching for him to-)

Now, he was glad the disciples were here, bringing that joyful glim in SiZhui’s eyes, stretching JingYi’s mouth in a smile as he rubbed their heads, messing their hair and laughing at their protests. The adoration in those shidis’ expressions, though, was blatant, and Jin Ling couldn’t grumble at them for it -he had to lock that silly, immature feeling in a corner of his brain and enjoy the moment.

The large group went back to the inn, walking tidily along the street that separated them from their destination. The sun was setting behind the mountains on the far background, tinting the sky with warm hues of reds, oranges and yellows, the darker colors of the night ready to swallow everything.

Light was still enough to allow them to see where they were going, but Lan SiZhui didn’t want to keep the disciples out that night -not after their non-stop wandering the previous days-, granting them a much needed pause.

Jin Ling could see he loved taking care of those shidis -the thought suddenly evoking another well esteemed shixiong of his knowledge, making shivers crawl up his arms and a frown mark his forehead.

Over the years, his relationship with Wei WuXian got better, even though he couldn’t bring himself to call him uncle or anything of the sort -most of the times, he just avoided calling his name. He couldn’t deny that, aside from whatever he had heard about him growing up, Wei WuXian was good, and it made him grit his teeth with frustration even now, when the man’s presence had already rooted itself in his life. The same comforting feeling he exuded, that protective bubble he seemed to gather everyone in even when it wasn’t necessary -he could see such a trait in SiZhui, too, and he liked it a lot.

Which would probably seem creepy, given that he was looking into resemblances between his not-related-by-blood uncle and one of the boy he kissed.

His frown deepened.

“Psss.”

Jin Ling turned his head sideway, eyes landing on JingYi, who was a couple of step farther, trying to gain his attention. When he succeeded, he smiled, a glint of triumph sparkling in his gaze, and his steps slowed, letting the disciples walk ahead of him so that he could catch up with Jin Ling’s stride.

“Why do you always look so deep in thoughts when you’re alone?”

“People think when they don’t have others pestering them. Maybe you’re not accustomed to doing it?”

The glint from before intensified, and JingYi pouted.

“Ah, mistress, you wound me! How are you so cruel with such a pretty face…”

“You-!” Jin Ling hissed behind gritted teeth, imposing his blood not to rush to his cheeks and give JingYi even more satisfaction. But the Lan boy burst out laughing, drawing unwanted attention on them, disciple whispering and chuckling at the habitual display -as if seeing the young Lanling Jin Sect Leader and their JingYi shixiong fight over things was by now a common occurrence for them.

“Anyway, I didn’t come here to bother you. Come on, come on!” he said, circling Jin Ling’s wrist with his fingers and dragging him away from the scene they were causing, avoiding the entrance of the inn. Jin Ling stuck his feet on the ground, managing to only slow him down -curse Lan Sect’s infamous arm strength!-, and JingYi casted him an impatient gaze, one that made Jn Ling’s stomach topple.

“W-wait, where are we going?! What if SiZhui needs us?!” he protested, but let himself be pulled forward with less resistance.

“Don’t worry, he is in his mama bear mode, let him fuss on his children!”

“C-children-”

“Eeh, what are you imagining, silly boy~”

Jin Ling yelled at him all the insults he could find, flushing in annoyance at the other’s laugh.

JingYi lured him around the building, to the back side of the inn, out of earshot. Jin Ling didn’t even have the time to realise what was happening -he was hastily pressed against the wall, a movement that made him close his eyes and lose balance. Reopening them, ready to curse at JingYi, revealed to be the worst and best idea he had in the span of a few seconds.

Too close, he thought, far from irritated, heart in his throat, bracing his body weight against the support at his back. JingYi’s eyes were almost in line with his, the centimeters Jin Ling had on him that usually secretly gave him a pleasant feeling of control gone, lost in his bent knees and the boy’s towering form in front of him.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since this morning” he murmured, smirk adorning his tempting lips, space between them getting reduced more and more until JingYi’s hands where at either side of Jin Ling’s head and the Lanling boy couldn’t look at nothing but him. His irises were shining with that barely restrained something that he could feel deeply mirrored into him, like a herd of bagui bouncing in his gut. For a moment, Jin Ling didn’t know how to breathe, let alone speak.

(Oh, he couldn’t fool himself even if he wanted to, he loved the feeling of being wanted like that.)

JingYi closed the short distance, mouth brushing against his, smiling deviously when he felt the young Sect Leader shiver.

“W-what are you doing?”

That was such a dumb thing to ask, do you want JingYi to make fun of you even more?, he chastised, slapping himself virtually so that he could gather his focus back. His eyes captured the shadows on the Lan boy’s face, obscured by their position -Jin Ling was basked in moonlight, JingYi, by contrast, all dark angles and shadowed of skin-, marveling in the way the always fairly dressed, pristine, exuberant young man now seemed like a creature of the night, casted in penumbra, pale complexion complimented by the darkness cascading on them.

JingYi was breathtaking, and Jin Ling would never give him the satisfaction to hear him say it.

“I’m trying to kiss you” he replied, simple as that, as if his heart wasn’t beating like crazy and he wasn’t sweating nervously and he couldn’t swallow the knot in his throat like Jin Ling in that moment. The Lanling boy hated how smug and natural JingYi appeared about this.

“Just like that? What a romantic” he played then, shoulders dropping against the wall and chin lifting in arrogance. As if he would make him win that easily.

JingYi chuckled. He raised his left hand and took a lock of Jin Ling’s hair between his fingers, stroking it softly -like he knew it was his weak spot-, every nerve in him sparkling alive at the indirect touch. “Who knew this mistress wanted to be courted like a true maiden- ouch!”

Jin Ling punched him on his right shoulder, lips tight, limbs pulling him in so that he could kiss that superior attitude out of him.

“Let’s see who is the true maiden” he provoked, eyelids half dropping warily, even though he knew that would only please him more. At this point, Jin Ling didn’t even know if his own aim was to win or lose to him.

“Ah, stop being so beautiful, mistress, you’ll make me faint” JingYi jokingly accused him, palm flush on his chest, pressing where his heart was as if it was really hurting.

Jin Ling struggled not to roll his eyes in the air.

“Stop. Calling. Me. That” he spelled out, swiftly grasping the flaps of his robe and tightening his hold. “You are absolutely terrible at this” he added, searching that same glint he knew JingYi had in his eyes everytime he looked at him -he didn’t even have to try that hard, contentment burning in the Lan boy’s expression in such an open way no one would miss it.

“Mmh” he acknowledged, getting his hair tangled with his fingers, knuckles casually grazing the heated skin of his cheeks. “Is that why you’re turning red?”

At that, Jin Ling couldn’t conceal his frustration -awareness made him even more irked. He drew JingYi in and when their lips met, he closed his eyes.

He was still getting used to the sensation of being so in tune with someone, so close to them that he craved for physical contact. He was too prideful to start anything most of the time, so he loved the moments when they sought him out like that -as if he was their favorite prey, as if they couldn’t last long before looking for him. It made him feel shameful, and for a long time he had been so sure that there was something wrong in him for it, for how right wanting to be with them felt, exhilarating and nothing short of everything he had always wanted.

JingYi’s lips were chapped and full, pressing in earnest against his without hesitation, shoving him flush against the wall with the sudden intensity of it. Jin Ling’s breath stuttered in his throat, the rhythm of his heartbeat picking up at once when he instinctively threaded his fingers through his hair, coercing a moan out of JingYi’s covered mouth at the pressure, and pulled his face even more on his own.

The way the Lan boys kissed were as different as their own personalities. SiZhui always made him set the pace, patient and gentle in his touches, where JingYi had nothing of that. He was expecting Jin Ling’s rushed move and faced it the same way he fought -throwing himself at it with all he had, letting each touch, each stroke of skin, each gasp call the next action naturally, giving in to his desire.

His mouth was demanding, the force of it driving Jin Ling to a increasingly rapid pace and making him tremble in reflex, as if one of JingYi’s mocking laughs was shivering against his lips. He met him with the same firm determination, kissing him in a way that had his own legs quiver under his weight, opening his mouth at JingYi’s prying tongue, grasping at his shoulder when he felt like he couldn’t brace himself against the wall any longer.

The Lan boy’s hands soon sneaked into his robes, past the side rips of his tunic and around his waist, chest to chest, fingers sinking into the fabric while wishing for it to be gone. Jin Ling could feel their impatience growing steadily in his bones, his body asking for more, each nerve singing under JingYi’s ministration, relishing in the way the boy held him tighter and tighter, pressing him against the wall until he couldn’t breathe properly and keeping on feeling those lips tracing his in hunger, devouring and claiming his own at every flip of tongue, every bite, every moan Jin Ling wouldn’t know how to contain even if he knew it’d the proper thing to do -right then, it simply was the last thing he cared about.

They ended up kissing for a while, minutes stretching in an endless dream they didn’t want to wake up from. At a certain point they slowed down, inhaling as much air as they could, and Jin Ling flipped them over, pinning one of JingYi’s wrist against the building previously behind him, both swaying with the motion, panting loudly, irises languid with pleasure upon meeting each other.

He caged his face between his other hand and plunged right onto JingYi’s lips without thinking, like he couldn’t live another second without feeling the boy’s mouth on his like that -even though their lips were bruised, sore, red like camellia petals, the taste almost bloody but so, so intoxicating.

JingYi’s moan made him trembled, the words he whispered (mmh, I like it when you get all assertive on m-) instantly suppressed by a clumsy, confused kiss before Jin Ling realised what he had done.

He came back to his senses when the other boy’s eyes, languid and glittering in mirk, blinked at him from behind his lashes, making him hyper aware of what he had done, of how his entire body tingled and shuddered, his numb mind protesting against the widening distance between them. He already ached for those touches and kisses caressing his body in such a hasty, passionate way -needed it all over again, which he knew, somewhere in his head, to be a bad idea.

Red started tinting his cheeks and neck rapidly after that, so Jin Ling’s face sinked in the hollow of JingYi’s neck, the Lanling boy’s heating skin warming him and making him laugh. He patted his nape, murmuring some reassuring word, fully knowing that wasn’t the right moment to tease him about that.

When they went back, a bunch of disciples rolled their eyes and chuckled at the two late comers, soon commenting at the usual bickering protests coming from them.

“How are they always like this? Why do they fight so much?”

“I don’t get why Lan shixiong keeps inviting Jin Sect Leader if he ends up arguing with him like that.”

That kind of talk went on for a bit, up until Lan JingYi and Jin Ling were about to settle down next to Lan SiZhui.

“Ehy” someone, one of the bravest among the disciples, called from the table where they were all gossiping. “Lan shixiong! Did you stay out to fight? Don’t you get tired of always doing that?”

The others looked at him like he was crazy, ushering him and throwing worried glances at Lan SiZhui, hoping he wouldn’t be angry over that comment, but Lan JingYi replied with a huge grin before anyone could say anything about it.

“Not really.”

Jin Ling gritted his teeth and hid his blushing face behind a hand, averting his gaze with a pointed stare.

Only few disciples wondered why Jin Sect Leader was so flustered or JingYi’s face seemed so dumbstruck the moment he turned to look at him. Lan SiZhui smirked, and called everyone over for dinner.

Going to sleep at their same hour, his body learned fast to wake up when they did. He was growing accustomed to their weird and healthy habit, noticing how much better he felt when he rose from bed at the same time every morning after just a couple of days.

Back at Koi Tower, Jin Ling had too many things to do to bask in the luxury of resting at such an early hour, the stress of dealing with the families close to his position as head of the Sect not enough appeased by his uncle’s presence -his jiujiu was a great help and support with the most complicated aspect his role implied, but the bearers of the white peony sometimes glowered at him, partly unnerved by the persisting appearance of an outsider, and a Sect Leader at that.

Too much was on his plate and paradoxically he had to join a night hunt party to feel at peace with himself again.

He stretched up a bit, sighed, parted his eyes open slowly.

Waking up on a bed too full for its size would have bothered Jin Ling a great deal, had it not been for its current occupants. The light gently filtered through the window, not as intense as to be blamed of having woken him up, but enough to justify the movements on the mattress, so careful they barely bothered him -though he sensed it all, he wasn’t a promising cultivator for nothing. Beside, being a de facto Sect Leader at his young age, he taught himself to always be alert, which was why, relaxed as he had been until a couple of minutes prior, he was already rousing from slumber.

So yes, right then and there, the crowded bed thing didn’t annoy him. On the contrary, he was thrilled, content, and proceeded to snuggle more against the pillow, cracking an eye open only minutes after out of curiosity.

The room was still mostly bathed in shadows, heavy curtains shielding them from part of the timid rays of morning light, but Jin Ling was pretty sure Gusu waking time had already passed, explaining why the two Lan were up and about. They probably kept them mostly shut for him, to let him sleep a bit more, and from his lips a deep, pleased sigh slipped through, alerting the boys of his state.

He could have closed his eyes and feigned sleep, let their roaming eyes check on him and see if he had really woken up or not -but Jin Ling was too eager, suddenly, too concentrated on contemplating them to divert his gaze from where they stood.

Lan SiZhui was the first to smile at him, making his pulse jump in response.

“Good Morning, A-Ling. Did we wake you up?”

Both Lan boys were busy preparing themselves for the day, it seemed, even though they were still in their inner robe. SiZhui’s hair was already done, his ponytail shifting elegantly on his back when he turned to check on Jin Ling and found him awake. His fingers were intertwined with JingYi’s hair, intent on arranging it in his usual hairstyle.

Lan JingYi yawned, sending him a lazy grin from the reflection on the mirror.

“What woke you up so early, did you miss us?”

“Would that be strange?”

Jin Ling’s lips parted before he could think of keeping that thought for himself, and he echoed JingYi’s yawn, rubbing his sleepy eyes. Peeking at them in the meantime, he saw the comb in SiZhui’s hand halt and the way both of them looked at him through the reflection in the mirror.

His cheeks reddened a bit, a corner of his head cursing him for his lack of filters, and he smoothed his expression in a plain one, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Their gazes, thought, burned of him and made him squirm on the bed while he tried to sit up and abandon it -he didn’t want to appear like the lazy one, even when he loved lingering on the comfy surface under their watchful stare.

Jin Ling’s skin tingled at the awareness, so much that he couldn’t meet their eyes while his body came alive, his nerves sparkling with tension and anticipation, his limbs weighting more than they should. He felt sluggish and unfocused -no, that didn’t sound right, it was more like his focus was completely drawn by JingYi and SiZhui.

(Oh, he loved this.

He wanted their attention for himself.)

So Jin Ling got up, slowly, stumbling a bit, and then proceeded to reach with his arms above his head, stretching them as long and thoroughly as he could, shoulders rolling subtly in the process to make his inner robe slip slightly, not enough for him to borderline indecence or have to make himself conscious of it and fix it under the Lan boys’ eyes.

He didn’t look at them, still, feigned it all the way. He searched for his hair garments and found them on the little bedside table on the left, took them without a word and sat on the side of the bed. He gathered his hair on one shoulder and lifted his gaze while threading his fingers through his locks, pouting as he looked at SiZhui.

“It’s so unfair, I want SiZhui to take care of my hair, too”

They were watching him. Both of them had turned and given him their undivided attention -that was why Jin Ling could swear he saw SiZhui swallow and JingYi more awake than a couple of seconds before, fingers clenching on SiZhui’s hand on his shoulder.

Jin Ling lowered his eyelids, waiting for an answer.

He tilted his head to the side a bit and crossed his legs when he didn’t get one.

“So?” he prompted, nervous at the lack of response but unable to display it as a weakness -his heart shrank in his chest when they looked at each other in helplessness.

“What?” he kept going, trying to suppress the uneasiness his mind projected on the situation. “Did I break another Lan rule or something? You don’t want to?”

“No!” SiZhui burst out suddenly, cheeks reddening suspiciously, making Jin Ling jump in surprise.

“S-sorry. It’s not a problem at all!” SiZhui replied quickly, smiling sheepishly at Jin Ling’s frown and going back to neatly style JingYi’s hair in a high ponytail, brushing his cheek with his knuckles as he fixed the lock framing his face. JingYi caught SiZhui’s fingers with his own and drove them to his lips, mumbling a thank you against his skin and rising on his feet to press another kiss on SiZhui lips.

He took him by the hand and dragged him where Jin Ling was, taking his hair garments from his hold.

At Jin Ling’s startled expression, he winked and said: “I’ll keep these while SiZhui fixes you hair, it looks like you have a nest on your head!”

“That’s not true!”

SiZhui giggled, asking Jin Ling to turn around so that he can get to work, and the Lanling boy smiled, content and grateful, palm sneaking around SiZhui’s neck and bringing him down to kiss him.

He loved the taste of SiZhui’s lips. Somehow, they were always soft and savoury to the point of making him crave for more, as if he had coated them of aphrodisiac that made him lose every semblance of rationality.

He bit onto the lower one, indulged in the way his teeth sank and the lip swelled up around them, then gently let go, licking his lips to preserve that sensation. SiZhui followed after him in reflex, stopping a second later, expression dreamy and hungry.

It was Jin Ling’s turn to swallow.

After that he obeyed, giving him his back, and in an instant JingYi’s head plopped on his lap, eyes covered by his arm. Jin Ling huffed, but relaxed immediately when SiZhui’s fingers gathered his hair and started untangling every lock before using the comb.

“What are you doing?” he whispered to JingYi, unconsciously toning his voice down, a part of him feeling hyperaware of the strange tension in the room.

(He knew he ached for that same tension to snap and drown the three of them.)

JingYi hummed lightly. He lowered his limb and looked at him, glinting irises and pink ears telling Jin Ling more than his words could.

“You should warn a man before doing something like that, Jin Ling. Aren’t you being too cheeky?” he said, slyly sulking and looking up at him.

“I disagree. I pretty much like his surprise attack” SiZhui argued, fingertips grazing lightly over Jin Ling’s neck, making goosebumps crawl all over his arms and back. He had to bit his lower lip and prevent his throat from letting any kind of noise out.

He was definitely doing it on purpose.

When JingYi grinned, Jin Ling knew he had noticed, too.

The Lan boy with the head on his lap took his hand and moved it closer to his mouth, his irises smiling mischievously at him when his lips came in contact with them, lavishing every digit with care and attention. Every kiss left a tickling sensation on the tender skin, body growing numb when SiZhui moved even closer, the warmth at Jin Ling’s back as much distracting and pleasant as the one on his lap.

His mouth parted, eyes lost on the movement of JingYi’s lips, his nerves shuddering at the hypnotic rhythm SiZhui kept brushing his hair. It was good, too good, too comfy and slow and not enough, the way they caged him so naturally and without him even noticing and how exhilarating it felt -he couldn’t try and imagine how it’d feel if they didn’t stop at that, or else Jin Ling’s brain would implode right there and then.

Instead, he touched upon JingYi’s lower lip gently, heat trailing up his face at his own bold gesture.

“D-didn’t I kiss you enough yesterday? You are demanding too much!”

“As if I would ever have enough of you” JingYi smoothly rebutted, nuzzling the palm of the Lanling boy’s hand teasingly lapping at it with the tip of his tongue. The act had his hand spasm and his shoulders quivering -his body far from being disgusted by it-, the fingers between his hair making it hard for him to feel riled up in a way that didn’t involve him desiring more.

“SiZhui, please tell him to stop provoking me!”

“What a prissy princess…” the other retorted, finally letting go of his hand.

“If I am so prissy, stop using me as your personal pillow!”

“Why, is it okay for you to use me like that but when it comes to me I can’t?!”

Their bickering seemed to clear the air from tautness that hovered over them -Jin Ling mourned it, but he knew it wasn’t the right time. His voice didn’t feel as loud as it usually would be during his insult-matched with JingYi, probably thanks to SiZhui’s wonderful touch. He could easily get addicted to it, the deftness and regard with which his fingers threaded through his locks felt so soothing and comfortable it made him drunk and drowsy, like he could fall asleep in a moment.

It was perfect - they were perfect, and somehow, they were perfect for him.

“Doesn’t A-Ling like it, though?”

Those words and a pulling sensation on his head shook him from his lethargy.

“What?”

SiZhui’s fingers grazed over his jaw, tipping his head back until Jin Ling could see him upside down.

“Doesn’t A-Ling like it when we spoil or provoke him?”

Jin Ling’s eyes grew wide and his breath stumbled in his throat, mouth gaping open and words eluding him. He knew -of course he knew, he was SiZhui, but being bared like that had his heart beating like crazy.

The weight on his lap left, but he barely sensed it when SiZhui’s face dipped, careful not to bump on the tip of his nose with his chin. Then, he kissed him, nice and slow, taking his time with Jin Ling’s lips as if he was savouring them.

“Mh? What’s A-Ling’s reply?” he asked again, so close that question was puffed right on his shaking mouth.

“Yes” Jin Ling mumbled, without thinking, head spinning -a gasp leaving him when another pair of lips found his neck.

“No surprise there” JingYi commented, tone eager and husky, the Lanling boy’s toes curling in response.

Everything was over in a matter of seconds -SiZhui fixed the locks framing his face and kissed the tip of his nose before stepping back, hands steady on Jin Ling’s shoulders to keep the boy from falling back, and JingYi lingered a few moments more, tempted to leave a mark on the immaculate expanse of Jin Ling’s collarbone but deciding against it, restricting himself to a simple brush of his lips.

He had been defeated.

While Jin Ling tried to breathe properly again, he thought he was glad for the bed under him -he would have probably toppled over for the strain, that much was for sure. He had been certain he had everything figured out, up until the point he realised they had started playing his own game and ended up winning without trouble.

“Come on, our cute disciples should be already up. SiZhui doesn’t like to keep them waiting!” JingYi declared, eyeing the other with a knowing glance and poking at him with his elbow.

“We are responsible for them, I don’t want them to feel neglected” was the answer, tone wavering and tentative as if SiZhui was overconscious of his own behaviour. JingYi and Jin Ling exchanged a look, both of them thinking how cute that reaction of his was.

And that was it, Jin Ling thought, leaving the mattress and moving closer to the door where the two Lan boys were waiting for him.

In his heart, all the teasing and lingering gazes felt more like victory than defeat.

Better, they felt like a promise.

#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fic #my mdzs writing #my writing #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #jin ling #zhuilingyi

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