Tumgik
#listen to someone who isn’t from inside your house
clownaddict · 5 months
Text
I genuinely wonder how some of y’all have the energy to just sit on the internet and be little assholes all day.
I still use twitter a little now and then and every time I open the app it’s just post after post after post of the pettiest arguments you can have the misfortunes of reading.
“GIRLIES CAN WE CANCEL *person*?? They don’t like the thing that I like!!!!!”
And the comment section is just filled to the brim with brain rot and people suddenly cheering for the death of some poor fuck who just didn’t, idk, eat their nachos with cheese or smt.
“OMG I JUST FOUBD OUT *twitter user* DONT KNOW ABOUT—— 😱😱😱”
How about you step outside and breathe some fresh air or is that too scary for you
2 notes · View notes
sturniolosstar · 15 days
Text
older┆m.sturniolo
summary - what it’s like to have an older boyfriend <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ᯓ★ pairing - dilf!matthew sturniolo x female reader
ᯓ★ cw - legal age gap, suggestive themes, kissing, mentions of sex, mentions of threesome, fingering, eating out, lowercase intended
⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑
always protective and looking out for you.
at parties, you’re by his side with his arm around your waist. while shopping, his hand is always resting on your lower back as you walk from store to store. whenever he takes you out, his fingers are intertwined with yours so you don’t go wondering off.
kisses anywhere and everywhere.
forehead kisses while you fall asleep in his arms after a long day, pecks on your cheeks from time to time as you clean up the house, long and passionate kisses on the lips as he slips his tongue into your mo-
“wear what you want, i can fight.”
you can bet your ass you can wear whatever you want. after all, who is he to complain when he’s the one taking it off at the end of the day? he also loves the way you’re always so put together and cleanly dressed, no matter the occasion.
always has time for you.
on the days he’s busy, he makes time. youtube isn’t forever, him and his brothers are aware of that. so when it came to working, he doesn’t hesitate to call in sick or get someone to fill in for him just so he can spend an extra day with his girl.
causal acts of dominance.
he’s the older one in the relationship, why wouldn’t he make sure the little things are taken care of so you won’t have to worry about them? doors are always held open for you, he’s on his knees when your shoelaces become undone, his hand covers the sharp corners of tables and counters whenever you bend down near them.
your priorities over his.
of course he takes care of himself, but when it comes to you? he’ll drop everything. when on your period, he calls off work to spend the day in bed with you. when you feel sick, he already has soup made and your heating pad is all warm. whenever you run out of a product, a new one is on your vanity within an hour. whenever you complain about not having anything to wear, you’re driven to the shopping centre as you try on anything your heart desires. and he of course buys them all.
spending all his money on you.
there’s no doubt about the fortune made from his previous youtube career, but with a good paying job ten years later? it doesn’t take a genius to know that every dollar and penny he earns is spent on you. he never listens to your mewls of complains, he simply shuts you up with a kiss to your pouted lips. “c’mon, honey. why’re you fighting me on this?” “who else would i spend all of this on?
your pleasure is his number one consideration.
the fact that he’s older and the amount of experience he has? whew. there is no question about how he makes you sees stars every night. when in between your legs, his hands are groping the soft flesh of your thighs as his tongue flicks on your clit. when fingering you, he presses your hips down on the mattress to keep you still due to all your squirming. when stuffing your cunt full of his cock, he never fails to finish inside of you at the feeling of your nails scratching down his back and the sight of your eyes rolled back to your head as drool dribbles down the corners of your mouth.
getting over his protective persona and deciding to share you.
he’s no idiot, he sees the way you look at chris whenever he takes you to visit his family and who is he to not fulfil his girl’s desires? it started off with letting chris become touchy with you; brushing your hair out of your face while he’s standing before you, subtle touches while walking past you, hand resting on your hip while he’s beside you. it ended with you writhing in his silk sheets beneath him and his brother as they completely ruin you; from prepping you with their fingers and tongue to filling you from both ends with their cocks.
in the end, you have no regrets about choosing someone older.
⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑
author’s note - this was written, proofread and edited all on the same day. r u guys proud of me 😕😕
taglist - @btwsturn @thesturniolos @mattsbratt69 @stramboli4life @ducksturniolo @st4rhubz @sturns-posts @sturniolo14 @sturnioloenthusiast @ivonchetooo1239 @littlebookworm803 @bellas-de3d @mattsneezing @sturniofilmd @athenamossymandella @mattslolita @ellie-luvsfics @st7rnioioss @qwertytit @33sturniolo @ilovechrissturniolo1 @muwapsturniolo @sturniolos-blog @realuvrrr @blahbel668 @sstvrnioloo @mattslutt @styles-sturniolo @wild4sturns @solarsturniolo @cypher-net @erikasurfer @pepsiluvr0209 @gamermattsgf @junnniiieee07 @stonermattsgf @55sturn @lookingformyromeo @nicksbestie @strombolilovr @imsosillygoofylol @riasturns @sturncakez
⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑
1K notes · View notes
scuderiahoney · 2 months
Text
Color Theory
Oscar Piastri x artist!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Masterlist
Summary: Oscar’s an old friend of yours. This time when he comes home to visit, things get messy. Word Count: 6.6k
Warnings: alcohol, mild drug use, sexual content 18+ MDNI, overuse of color descriptions
It’s summer in Australia, your favorite time of year despite the overbearing sun and the overwhelming heat. Sweat spikes on your brow, but the sunlight that pours through the windows makes you happy. The door to the back garden is open, the smell of wildflowers blowing in with the breeze. You can hear your roommates chattering in the other room. You hold a paint palette in one hand, a brush in the other. There’s something just slightly off about this piece, some part of the light you’re not capturing quite right. You step back from the painting, trying to get a better view of the whole picture.
Someone calls your name from inside. You ignore them. By the third time you hear your name, you give in, setting the palette and brush down and heading inside. You’re still wearing your apron, covered in paint marks.
Lizzy, one of your roommates, smiles at you. “How’s it going?”
You sigh heavily. “Can’t get the light right.”
She nods in understanding. “We’re ordering pizza. Oscar’s on his way. Thought I’d give you a heads up in case you decide to try painting in your underwear again.”
You laugh. “It was one time,” you say defensively. “It was hot out and I was trying to become-“
“-one with the art, I know, I know,” she teases. “Just giving you a warning!”
You lean on the counter and let out a long breath. “It’s gonna be weird, isn’t it? Him being here?”
Oscar’s an old friend of yours, and your roommates, too. Old, like preteens old. He left for the UK so long ago that you’d probably barely remember what he looked like if it weren’t for video calls and social media and now, his face being plastered everywhere. You’ve kept up, have stayed friends through it all. But it’s the first time you’ll be seeing him in person in over a year, the first time he’s ever going to visit your shared house, the first time since… since he became Oscar Piastri and not just Oscar.
Lizzy shrugs. “Only weird if we make it weird, right?”
She’s right, to a certain extent. Your other roommate, Leo, shows up with Oscar in tow, and you do your best to not be weird about it, and you think it works. He greets you and Lizzy with long hugs. He smells like sea salt and something warm. His body’s much more firm and filled out than he was the last time you saw him, which makes sense, you suppose. He still smiles like golden yellow sunshine, though, crinkled eyes and round cheeks and that near permanent blush on his face.
The pizza arrives shortly after he does, and you all settle into the living room to catch up. Oscar tells stories about racing, about his first year in F1, about his teammate and his competitors. You’ve been keeping up with the races more than you ever did before- Leo always wanted to watch but you hadn’t cared that much before it was Oscar, before the guy in the orange car was the same kid who used to finger paint with you in the backyard, your mother worried about the mess. Now you sit glued to the TV most Sundays.
In turn, you, Lizzy, and Leo update Oscar on what he’s missed. All about your family lives, your jobs, your other friends he’s lost touch with. He listens intently to each story, the way he always has.
“What are you doing for work?” He asks, nudging your knee.
You sigh dejectedly. “Nothing fun.”
He pouts. Leo elbows you and speaks up, though.
“She’s still painting, though,” he says brightly. “You should see the sunroom.”
Oscar’s face lights up. “Is that your studio? You always said you wanted a sunroom.”
He’s always been one of your biggest supporters when it comes to your art. He’s the one who’d join you in the art room at lunchtime in school, eating his lunch at one of the counters while you worked on your latest piece, unable to put the paintbrush down. He’d attended all your art shows, had bought you paints and brushes and sketchbooks for birthdays and Christmases, and had even posed for a portrait you’d been required to paint for class. He’d had a hard time sitting still for that long without falling asleep.
You nod with a smile growing on your face. “Living the dream with that one.”
The night slips away from all of you, caught up in conversations about everything under the sun. You find yourself feeling sad when Oscar goes to leave. He does it with hugs and a promise to be back in a few days. When he leaves through the front door, you feel that emptiness again, that hole that’s never healed quite right after he left.
Lizzy sees it on your face and squeezes your shoulder. “He’ll be back.”
Two days later, you’re deep in painting mode, eyes beginning to ache as you stare at the canvas in front of you, when there’s a noise from the sunroom doorway. You turn and find Oscar standing there, eyes wide, brows raised. He chews on his lip sheepishly.
“Sorry,” he says, quietly. You hold back a laugh. “Leo said to come over and just let myself in, and I heard a noise, and- sorry-“
“It’s okay,” you reassure him, tilting your head and smiling. “Leo should’ve told you, he ran to the store for drinks.”
Oscar rolls his eyes, and his shoulders drop. “Right.”
“You’re welcome to hang out, though,” you say, nodding at the chair off to the side in the sunroom. “Don’t want you getting bored all by yourself.”
He hesitated. “I don’t want to be a bother.”
He never would have questioned it before. He would’ve already been sitting, would’ve already known what you were painting, would’ve helped you get your palette set up. It’s different now. He’s been gone a while.
You jut your chin towards the chair again and wave a paintbrush in that direction. “Please. You’ve never been a bother.”
He was always the only one of your friends that you allowed to watch you paint. He knew when to stay quiet, and when you needed the background noise of his voice, without ever having to ask. He shuffles over to the chair and sits down. Oscar’s gaze dances through the room with wide eyes, and when you turn back to the canvas, you can feel him watching intently.
“What do you think?” You ask, just to break the silence. You gesture at the paintings lined up around the room. “Have my skills improved?”
He lets out a slow breath. “They’re amazing,” he says, and your heart twists in your chest. “I’m so glad you kept up on it. That you didn’t lose your… you know. Passion. Sounds cheesy, but I mean it.”
You nod. Most of your friends and family had spent your teenage years trying to convince you to learn any skill other than art. You’d continued pouring yourself into the paintings. Oscar had been one of your only cheerleaders through it all.
“It’s not easy,” you admit. “Bills and shit, you know? Real adult stuff. But I’ve been trying to get into some galleries recently. I don’t know if it’ll ever be something I can make a living off of, but I’ve gotta try.”
Oscar nods in understanding. “How about when I win my first championship, I’ll make good on my promise?”
You laugh. There’d been a night just before he’d left for the UK where the two of you had stayed up late, out far past curfew at the local park. You’d laid under a tree next to him, giddy on the high of breaking the rules and the late hour. He’d told you all about his big dreams. About F1 and championships and how he was going to make it big. And when you’d asked if he’d remember you, he’d smiled and turned his head towards you, eyes wide in the pale moonlight, nose nearly touching yours.
“I’ll use my money and open a gallery,” he’d promised. “And I’ll fill it with all of your paintings.”
You’d rolled your eyes. “Even the bad ones?”
He’d nodded, so seriously. “Especially the bad ones.”
Now he sits next to you in your makeshift studio, so close to reaching his dreams. You can only hope you’ll get there, too, someday.
There’s a party at your house that night. There’ll be more people there than usual, wanting to talk with Oscar and taking up his time. But for now there’s just you and him in the studio you’ve always wanted, the one you talked about under the tree in the park. You’ll take what you can get.
Oscar finds you later at the party, in the back corner of the backyard. The sun is nearly gone, the last bits of daylight slipping away. When he walks up, you’re leaning back in an outdoor armchair, and you smile hazily up at him and hold out the joint you’d been smoking.
He shakes his head. You pout.
“I get drug tested,” he says, and you suppose that’s understandable. “And I think my trainer would kill me over the lung damage.”
“It’s just once,” you friend says next to you, “can’t do that much damage.”
“Oscar’s a high performance athlete,” you tease.
Someone finishes the infamous Daniel Ricciardo quote for you, complete with the sound effects. You’re not really listening, more focused on how Oscar rolls his eyes as he sits down on the arm of the chair. You tilt your head to look up at him.
The late sun is hitting the bridge of his nose, a bright orange band against his freckled skin. He blinks at you with thick lashes, and you wonder how you’d capture the look on his face with paint- the softness of his cheeks, the care that sits heavy on his browbone, the restlessness in the curve of his mouth. You don’t like to do portraits- Oscar’s one of few people you’ve painted, but it was years ago. He was a skinny kid with a bad haircut. Now his jawline is chiseled and sharp, and his hair falls over his forehead in a soft swoop. He's pretty.
He cocks his head at you. You’ve been staring too long. You force a giggle and nudge his knee. He laughs right back.
You’re not sure how he ends up squished into the chair with you, his arm over your shoulder, his bare thigh pressed to yours. You think maybe it was your doing- you grabbed his arm, pulled him until he sunk in next to you. The sun is gone, now, the evening chill taking over, and it’s nice to have him next to you, keeping you warm. His cheek is pressed to the top of your head.
“You can go, you know,” you say quietly. Most of your friends have abandoned the corner you’re in, moving to the lit back deck, or the firepit area. You and Oscar have stayed put, though.
“D’you want me to go?” He asks.
You shake your head. He laughs. “I just don’t wanna take up all your time,” you say with a shrug.
His fingers play with the ends of your hair. “I’m right where I want to be.”
You curl in closer to him. You’re right where you want to be, too.
Eventually, the two of you rejoin the group. He stays glued to your side most of the night, though. His shoulder presses against yours, and in turn, you lean against him. He grows quieter as the night goes on. That’s when you remember that his time spent with you while you were painting wasn’t just for your benefit. He’d been a quiet kid- popular, but easily exhausted by socializing. He’d liked the solitude and comfort of the art room nearly as much as you had.
In the backyard full of your old friends, he seems content to stay stuck on you. When he shoves his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, you wiggle one of yours in alongside his, hoping you’re not crossing a line. Or maybe, really, you’re hoping it’s a line he wants you to cross. When he knits your fingers together, you sigh happily.
People leave one by one, with hugs for Oscar and promises to watch the next season. He says goodbye to them and then returns quickly to your side. Soon enough, Lizzy shuffles off to bed, and then Leo stretches and does the same, and it’s just you and Oscar. You hide a yawn. You don’t want to go to bed, not yet.
He squeezes your shoulder, his arm around your back, now. He has his cheek pressed against your temple. For a moment, you wonder if you could stay stuck to him long enough to keep him here. If eventually, the two of you would fuse together. That’s probably just your wavering high speaking. He mumbles something into the side of your head. You break from your staring at the coals and make a noise of confusion.
“Missed you,” he says. “Sorry I haven’t…”
This feels like too heavy a conversation to have now, when things have felt so good and warm all night. You know it’s coming at some point, but you’ll avoid it all costs. You turn further into him and wrap an arm around his middle, and let your eyes fall closed.
“I missed you too,” you say, rubbing your thumb against his rib cage through his sweatshirt.
The two of you sit quietly for a few moments. Then, you say, “you know, I still have that portrait I did of you. How many races d’you think you need to win before I can make some money off that?”
He laughs into your hair. His hand has fallen to your side now, and he squeezes- you nearly gasp at the feeling. “I was a scrawny baby in that painting. Nobody wants to buy that.”
You giggle against him. “You were a cute scrawny baby, though.”
It’s not something you would have said all those years ago. You’d have never been caught dead admitting that you thought he was cute. But now… in the safety of the backyard, in the darkness, pressed against his side…
“You’re cuter now, though,” you say.
“Yeah?” He asks.
You nod confidently. He slips his other hand from his pocket. It comes up to hold your jaw, gently. You hold your breath. He tilts your face up towards his.
“You’re prettier than ever,” he says, softly. “And I thought you reached the limit a long time ago.”
His lips are on yours within seconds, then. It’s not the first time he’s kissed you. By now, you know it probably won’t be the last. You let it happen, opening up for him. You slip your tongue past the warmth of his lips. His hand cups the side of your face as that warm feeling melts across your skin, the one that only he brings. You’ve been searching for a replacement since the last time this happened. Nothing comes close.
He uses the arm around you to pull you into his lap. You reach up and thread your fingers into his shirt, something to anchor you in the swirling feeling of him on and around and against you again. His hands fall to your hips, trying to do the same. He kisses like Australian summers, hot and long and sunny and bright orange. His touch leaves sparks behind everywhere he goes.
When you finally break away for air, his hair is a mess, and your lips feel puffy. He grins sheepishly at you. You chew on your lower lip as he brushes a finger over the arch of your cheek.
“Sorry,” he says. Always apologizing. You know he’s not sorry for kissing you. He’s sorry for how this will eventually end.
“Don’t be,” you say, quietly. “Please. Let’s just…”
He nods, then swallows before he says, “okay.”
Then he kisses your cheek, your jaw, your temple. You giggle at the feeling and let your fingertips dance against his face and neck. He muffles another laugh into your skin.
“Missed you,” you say again.
“I missed you too,” he says.
He walks you inside. You think about inviting him to stay the night, but you think that might be a bad idea. Instead, you give him a hug and watch him walk out the front door, into the only black and blue night.
…..
You meet up with him and a few other friends at a bar a couple nights later. You walk over from your house with Lizzy, who either doesn’t notice your nervous energy, or is nice enough to just not mention it. You shouldn’t be nervous. It’s the people you’ve known for years, and it’s just Oscar. There’s no reason to be nervous.
Except for the still fading hickey he left on your neck, covered by strategically placed hair, and the way you feel his lips on your every time you close your eyes. Yeah. There’s that, sure.
The bar is crowded even before all of your friends arrive. Oscar comes in with Leo, having been out all day while you and Lizzy had to work. There are at least five people there who are acting like they haven’t seen Oscar in years, even though they were all at the party a few nights ago. You try your best to hide your jealousy. He has other friends. He probably likes them way more than he likes you, anyways.
He finds you later, standing at the bar, waiting to order a drink. He’s just- there, all of the sudden, warm shoulder pressed to yours, elbows on the countertop. He smiles softly at you when you turn to him, and he leans into you.
“Hi,” he says. “I was looking for you.”
You want to laugh, because surely he wasn’t, but- there’s something so serious in his eyes. You lean into him in response, just to watch him raise his brows and smile wider. There’s a little mole on the swell of his cheek. You want to reach out and touch it. You refrain.
“I’m here,” you finally say, nodding towards your crowd of friends in the corner. “You’ve been a busy man tonight.”
He sighs, heavily, like it’s been difficult for him. It probably has been. He’s a quiet person in general. Not one to really like being the center of attention. You wonder if he’s exhausted as easily by it now as he was before, or if his years of podium celebrations have dulled the sensation a bit. Wonder how much of your Oscar is still left, under the facade.
He chews on his lower lip lightly, and you smile softly. That’s an old habit. That’s one you recognize. You also think of the night by the firepit, how you’d pulled that same lip between your own teeth, and the noise he’d made in response. Your face grows warm.
The bartender finally turns to you. Oscar orders for both of you, because of course he knows what you’re drinking. Then you follow him back to the crowd of your friends. When he grabs your hand to pull you along, you don’t complain. You just squeeze his fingers in response.
You stumble out of the bar with him, hand in hand, hours later. He’s insistent on walking you and Lizzy home, claiming that Leo won’t be enough to keep an eye on the both of you. You’re just happy to have his fingers locked with yours, to have his shoulder brushing against you as you both sway down the sidewalk. It’s comfortably warm outside, and you hum to yourself as you walk, listening to Lizzy and Leo arguing about nothing important.
Your journey home is stopped by Oscar, who stops in his tracks suddenly. You turn back to look at him. He’s staring across the street, where there’s a neon sign lit up in the window, the word Pizza flashing like a beacon. You laugh as he tugs on your hand.
“No, come on, we’re going home,” Lizzy calls out.
“I want pizza,” Oscar says in response, deadpan.
You turn to your roommates and shrug. “He wants pizza.”
Lizzy sighs. “I want to go home.”
“You guys go,” Oscar says with a dismissive wave. “I’ll make sure she gets home safe.”
Less than ten minutes later, your legs are stuck to the vinyl of the pizza parlor booth, knee bumping Oscar’s underneath the table. There’s a pepperoni pizza between the two of you, far too much for you to actually finish.
“Yknow,” he says, waving a piece of pizza around in the air. “Logan dips his pizza in ranch.”
You laugh at the disgusted look on Oscar’s face, at the way he says ranch. You take a sip of the soda he insisted on buying for you, along with the food.
“Bet it’s good,” you admit, shrugging.
Oscar wrinkles his nose. “I’m not a picky eater, but… isn’t pizza good enough on its own?”
You shrug, pretending to think deeply about it. Except that Oscar knows you well enough to know you’re pretending, so he starts laughing. And then you follow suit, doubled over in the booth, grease from the pizza on your fingertips.
As his laughter fades, he presses his knee against yours. It feels deliberate.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he says.
Something twists in your chest. “Missed you, too, Osc.”
Your friendship goes through cycles. When he’s here, it’s almost like nothing has changed. But when he’s gone… the two of you aren’t good at long distance friendship. Or maybe, really, you’re better at it than most. You can go months without talking and pick up like nothing has changed. The tough part comes when he’s here, within reach, and then he leaves. That’s the moment you dread, the part you don’t handle well. It would probably be easier if you stopped kissing him every time he came home. But you look across the table, and his lips are soft and cherry pink and slightly shiny from the pizza, and you know that would be impossible.
“I’ve missed you too,” you say, because you know he needs to hear it even if he already knows it. “I was worried that maybe now that you’re in F1, you’d gotten too important for… us.”
You really mean me, but it feels a bit too much to say out loud. You think he knows, anyways. He reaches a hand across the table, lays it over top of yours. There’s a sad smile on his face.
“I could never,” he says, eyes drilling right into yours. “Promise.”
He walks you home, hand in hand. The front porch light is on, probably Lizzie’s doing. He insists on coming all the way up to the front door, which is sweet and does absolutely awful things to your brain. Because he’s right there, his hand in yours, and you’re fumbling for your house key in your purse, but really you’re thinking about kissing him. When his fingers squeeze yours, you give up on the key and turn to him.
He knows it’s coming, you think. When you cup his face in your hand, he’s already leaning in.
The kiss is softer, messier, than the other night. You’re both still a little tipsy. But it’s less frantic, more comfortable. His other hand falls to your hip, and you lean back against the front door to your house and melt into him. He presses against you, warm, firm muscle against every curve of your body. You don’t want this to end. You want to wrap your arms around his neck and beg him to stay right here, to never leave, to come back to you.
He pulls away first. You try to kiss him again, hands tugging at his hips as he pants through reddened lips.
“You’re drunk,” he mumbles.
You shake your head no. “Not that drunk.”
He leans in close and kisses your cheek. “This is a bad idea.”
That makes your gut twist, makes your chest hurt. You roll your eyes and turn away so he won’t see the way your tears well up. He’s right, you know, but it hurts to hear it.
“I care about you. A lot,” he says, quietly. “And I… if things were different…”
“I know,” you say, because you do know. “Yeah. Bad idea. You should go.”
You leave him standing on the porch and disappear inside the house. When you lay down in bed, you lay awake for hours, swirls of color dancing behind your eyelids.
…..
The next night, you find yourself in your studio, alone. There’s paint on the canvas in front of you- not the good stuff you’d normally use, but the cheap kind you keep on hand for moments like these. Children’s finger paint, runny and thin and non-toxic. It’s running down the palette and dripping down your wrist. You’re in a pair of shorts and a sports bra, and frankly, you’d probably be wearing less if you didn’t know your roommates were due home eventually.
Oscar’s leaving tomorrow morning. At this point, the last you’ll see of him for a while will be when you left him on the porch. You swipe a bit of blue on the canvas. You’re not really painting anything, just trying to put color to the feelings. He’s leaving and he’ll be gone for a while again, and things are weird again, because he kissed you and then you kissed him and now he has to leave. You add a swipe of orange. Papaya, you think, gritting your teeth.
You wonder if things really would’ve been different. If he’d stayed, would you be together? Would he love you the way you want him to? Maybe. Or maybe, no matter the universe, this is how it ends. Maybe there’s always a bigger dream waiting. Maybe you’re not enough for him.
There’s a knock on the door. There’s red paint on your fingertips.
“Busy,” you call out.
Someone sighs. You freeze, hand halfway to the canvas. It doesn’t sound like Lizzy or Leo.
“It’s me,” Oscar says. “Can I come in?”
You huff. “Sure.”
He opens the door and blinks owlishly at the sight of you. You know you probably look crazy. He steps into the room and shuts the door behind him. The silence is deafening. Paint runs off the palette and onto your leg.
“Rough day?” He asks, because he knows.
You laugh bitterly. “You could say that, yeah.”
“I’m-“
“Don’t apologize,” you say with a sigh. “I’m not sorry.”
“No?”
“No,” you say. “I’m just… frustrated.”
Frustrated that he gets to live out his dream while you wither away in the hot Australian sun, waiting for your chance. Frustrated that every time he comes back it sends you into a tailspin. Frustrated that he’s leaving again. Frustrated with yourself for kissing him, frustrated that you want to do it again.
He crosses the room and stands next to you. You watch his shaky fingers drag through the mess on the palette. Then he reaches out and drags them through the mess on the canvas. He’s the only one you’d let do that, the only one who’d be brave enough to even try.
You follow suit, dip a finger in the yellow and smear it in a line over the canvas. Oscar’s finger falls to your wrist, scoops the bright blue from your skin and draws a squiggle with it. Cadmium Yellow and Phthalo Blue mix on the canvas and turn into envy green. Oscar dips his hand into the Cobalt Violet and draws a line of it up your arm like a bruise. You laugh and pick up the Ultramarine Blue to match the empty feeling in your chest. It leaves behind rivers on his cheeks when you hold his face in your hand and kiss him. Gently, first, and then with all the color you can muster up. You drop the palette on the floor. It splatters everywhere.
You wonder how you’d go about painting this. Red for the brush of his tongue, the bite of his teeth against your neck. Blue for the way his fingers dig into your hips. Bright pink for the way he moans into your mouth, breathy and broken and oh-so-lovely. The way you drop to your knees is lavender purple. The feeling of him heavy on your tongue, the way he sighs over it, is sunflower yellow.
He gets paint in your hair when he pulls you off of him, and then he sinks to his knees with you. You think about suggesting the couch, but then he’s pulling you all the way down onto the floor and you can’t bring yourself to protest. He cleans the paint from his hands first, always a gentleman. Then his fingers slip into you in a rush of an orangey-yellow feeling, one that turns more and more pink with each press of his hand, each swipe of his thumb against your clit. And when he finally presses his cock into you, it’s the brightest burst of sky blue behind your eyelids.
The colors melt together in your mind. You’d never be able to put this onto a canvas- not the way he breathes so heavy in your ear, the way his fingers drag against your skin, the way you shake as you clench around him and he spills himself inside of you. There’s no way you’d get the color right.
You drag him upstairs afterwards, both of you giggling, and you gasp when you hear the front door open just as you pull him into your bedroom. You head for the attached bathroom first, drag him under the hot spray of water and watch the rainbow mix into brown and wash away down the drain. There’s paint crusted in his hair and yours- you do your best to scrub it out as he leans heavily against you.
You don’t even bother asking if he wants to stay. You just drag him to the bed and toss him a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants you think are Leo’s. He doesn’t question it. You can hear your roommates downstairs talking. You wonder if they know.
Oscar flops onto the bed and reaches for you, tugging at the hem of the oversized t-shirt you’re wearing. You go easily, willingly, eagerly. He wraps you up in his arms and presses his face into your neck.
“I…” he starts, then cuts himself off.
“I know,” you murmur, because you do. “Me too.”
I love you. I wish it was different. I would stay if I could. I’ll miss you.
You wake up in the morning to his lips against your cheek. You drag yourself out of bed to walk him to the door. Your chest aches, and the feeling is a color that you can’t quite put your finger on. Someone’s there to pick him up and take him to the airport, take him far away for a long time.
He kisses you on the forehead and squeezes your shoulder. “I’ll see you soon,” he promises.
You nod and lean up to kiss his cheek. “Yeah. See you soon.”
The ache he leaves behind is a muddy mix of all your favorite colors.
…..
Six months later, you stand in an art gallery full of people. Your paintings hang on the wall nearby. You sip your drink and try to pretend like you’re not waiting and watching their every little reaction. Like you’re not searching for validation in the faces of strangers.
It’s strange to have these paintings hung up for everyone to see. When others look at them, they see pretty landscapes or flowers or a simple still life. They don’t know the meaning of it all.
You step away to grab another drink, something to quell the anxiety rising in your chest. When you come back, the one person who might just see through the facade is standing there, staring, wide eyed.
You swallow tightly and walk up next to him, and let your shoulder bump into his. “You made it.”
Oscar’s eyes stay trained on the paintings, but he leans into you. “Of course I made it.”
You want to tell him that there’s no of course here, that you’d invited him without really expecting him to show up. You keep your mouth shut though. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that he is here.
“What do you think?” You ask, quietly.
The truth is, of all the people in the gallery, his opinion is the one that matters most. You wonder what he sees when he looks at the canvases. Does he see the rays of sunlight on a table for what they truly are- a poor recreation of the sun on his skin? Does he realize that the deep purple of the plums in the still life matches the bruise on your knee that lasted for weeks after that night in the studio, the one you’d press your thumb into when your heart ached? There’s the painting of the orange lilies, color matched to the papaya of his car and race suit. There’s a painting of an empty table setting, a painting of a wide open blue sky over the backyard, and most telling of all, there’s the fabric study of his t-shirt, left behind, draped over the chair in the studio.
The collection is the closest thing to a portrait that you’ve done in years, even though there are no people in it. It’s the closest thing to a self portrait that you’ve ever done. Does he know?
His hand brushes against your elbow. He points at the empty plate on the empty table. “That’s how leaving felt for me, too, you know.”
You could cry, just knowing he understands. Instead, you nod and lean into him. You have people to talk to, art critics to impress and studio owners to try to convince, but the truth is that Oscar will always be the only one who truly understands. You stay with him for just a moment longer.
He stays the whole time, even as people begin to leave and the catering staff starts clearing the tables of food and drinks. You find him after you’ve had the last of your conversations with the important people. He’s standing near the door, looking only slightly out of place, scrolling on his phone.
“You didn’t have to stay the whole time,” you say.
He shrugs and smiles. “I know. I wanted to. There’s a pub down the street, it’s one of my favorites. D’you have time for a drink?”
You nod and pout. “Maybe some food too? M’starving.”
He nods eagerly in agreement. He leads you out of the gallery, holds the door for you and everything. The cool London night air hits you like a blast as you step outside.
Right. You’re not in Australia.
It’s a strange feeling, being here with Oscar- his chosen home for all these years, and yet it’s the first time you’re seeing it with him. He reaches for your hand on the sidewalk and tucks it into his jacket pocket, right alongside his. The pub isn’t far- when you get there, it’s crowded and warm, and he helps you slip your jacket off your shoulders. You smile at him in thanks. When he smiles back, your heart skips a beat.
Ten minutes later, you’re at the bar, beers in front of each of you and a pile of chips between the two of you. Your knee is pressed against his under the countertop. He’s smiling at you, his face lit up golden yellow in the inky gray light of the bar.
“So. What did you really think?” You ask, leaning towards him.
He shakes his head, almost disbelievingly. “The same thing I always think. Your paintings are amazing. It was like I could feel it, you know? Like I’m staring at, I dunno, fucking plums, but feeling something completely different.”
You nod, chest feeling tight. You’re unsure of what to even say. How to explain to him that maybe he’s the only one who feels that, because all the paintings are about him. You think of the portrait you did all those years ago, sitting in your storage, and how it doesn’t even begin to do him justice.
“How much?” He asks, and you blink widely. “I wanna buy them. I want- yeah.” He has this dreamy, hazy look on his face. “Can I buy them? Or even just one-“
“Osc,” you murmur. You reach out and press your hand over his on the countertop. “You don’t have to do that.”
He tilts his head at you, and when he speaks, his voice is almost raw. “I meant what I said, you know. The plate. That’s how I’ve felt. All of the art, it’s… you know.”
“I know,” you say. “But they’re not for sale.”
He deflates. You squeeze his hand and try not to grin too widely. “Right,” he says. “No, of course, sorry. Just thought it might be cool to have some of them in my apartment. We could get prints made, right?”
“Sure. “ you pause and take a deep breath. “The gallery wants to extend them,” you say, and his face lights up again. “The curator spoke to me after the show. She wants to keep them up for a few months.”
“That’s amazing,” he gushes, leaning over and pulling you into a hug so tight it almost topples you off the barstool. “Oh, wow, baby, that’s- and I could go see them, then, even when you’re gone?”
You laugh against his chest. “Yeah. Sure. Or, um…”
He freezes, the hand that had been sweeping up your back stuck in place. He’s holding his breath. You might be too.
“They offered me an artist’s residency,” you blurt out. “They want me to come stay for six months, maybe longer if it goes well. Work out of their studio, show art, teach some classes.”
Oscar’s voice is breathy and high pitched when he says, “here?”
You nod against his chest. “I mean. I’d have to find an apartment. And move all my stuff. And probably break Leo and Lizzy’s hearts.”
“But you’d be here,” he says. “Here, like… it took me twenty minutes to get here tonight. And you’d- this is what you’ve dreamed of, isn’t it?”
You nod, eyes burning with tears. “Would that be okay?”
Oscar laughs- you feel it more than hear it, in the shake of his shoulders and the rumble in his chest. “Yeah. I could live with that, I think.”
He kisses you in the bar, nearly pulls you off the stool with the force of it. You kiss him right back, bracing your hand on the countertop, not a care in the world who sees it. Fireworks light up behind your eyes like splashes of paint.
…..
There’s not a sunroom you can turn into a studio in your new apartment in London. It’s a smaller space, and you end up doing most of your painting at the main studio anyways. But Oscar is there, perched on the edge of a table watching you paint whenever he can. And in the entryway of your new place, you hang up the old portrait of him, right next to a photo of the two of you taken just after you moved to London.
In the photo, his arm is around your shoulders, his lips against your temple. He’d asked you to be his girlfriend officially seconds after it was taken, but there’s a light in both of your eyes that tells you it was inevitable, really. It’s something in the way he’s smiling, in the way his cheeks burn red and his lips are pink and the way you smile at him, too. Like you’ve both known it all along. That the two of you have always been complementary colors, just waiting for the right moment.
a/n: been working on this one for a while finally got it! hope you enjoyed thanks for reading!
Taglist: @4-mula1 @struggling-with-delia @lovekt @i-wish-this-was-me @forzalando @iloveyou3000morgan @callsign-scully @ggaslyp1
1K notes · View notes
aakeysmash · 18 days
Text
Tell me you love me
Pairing: f!reader x Sukuna Ryomen.
Word count: 2512.
Warnings: ANGSTTTTTT. An attempt at it at least lmao, let me know if I did a good job with it. A bit suggestive in the middle. Cursing. Mentions of cheating (mentions!!! No cheating in this house).
Tumblr media
People often say that Sukuna would be obsessed with the reader/oc, but I think a relationship with him would be the hardest thing ever.
He doesn’t get the concept of being in love: at the start of your relationship he found out you were more tolerable than anyone else, he assumed that meant he liked being around you and went along with it. Of course he fell in love in the long run, but for him it’s embarrassing to admit it. He barely even said it when you asked him why he wanted you to move in with him.
It’s not like he isn’t obsessed with you: he’s obsessed with the way you just seem to get him, with the way you smile when he comes home from a long day at work, with the utmost kindness you treat people around you with and that he lacks completely. He’s mesmerised by you, by the curve of your hips, the brightness of your eyes, the softness of your hands on his body.
He doesn’t show it, though.
He’s used to being rough and redeems emotions as futile. Like he already said to you in a couple of your arguments, if you get him you get him, if not, he’s not explaining himself. Everything he does is thought of and automatically right, so why would he give you explanations?
But sometimes in relationships you need communication. He doesn’t see how intense it is to be next to someone who acts like he doesn’t care about what you want to share in your daily life. And again, he does care: if he could, he’d make a copy of you yapping and just listen to it on repeat while working. He loves how passionate you sound while talking about your hobbies, he finds the little tilt to your voice when you search for his approval adorable. He doesn’t see how difficult it is to be with him because he’s only been with you, and you’re so good at communicating and making him feel heard he doesn’t notice he’s not reciprocating your efforts.
And that means that he’s never the one who wants to resolve misunderstandings, because he thinks they don’t really exist. You were upset about your dish not coming out the way it was supposed to and instead of reassuring you it was still edible he straight up said it looked horrible and walked away? He’s not sorry. He spoke his mind, did he not? And why would you be sad about the truth?
You’re not weak, and you’re not shy either. Kind people are not necessarily stupid, and you’re living proof of that. He’d never be in a relationship with a weakling who doesn’t know how to raise her voice and stand her ground. You’re fierce in your own way, and you know how to manage his stubbornness 90% of the time. You don’t like being disrespected or ignored, and you made sure to talk his ear off whenever he did it. Not like he purposefully did it, anyway.
But as a person who understands emotions and feels emotions, sometimes being with him frustrates you. And it comes to a point where you debate on keeping being next to him or leaving him for good.
He’s not the only one who has hard days, but when both of you have one, the silence inside your house is deafening. You’re the one who usually starts up conversations, but your mind is occupied with other things. You’ve barely touched your food.
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” He scoffs at dinner. He doesn’t like you frowning, it wrecks his heart. It makes him want to destroy the face of whoever took the smile he lives for off your face.
You sigh. “You know how my parents said they were coming to visit us next month? Well-”
He’s silent. Fuck, when did she say this? He thinks. Probably one of those days where the thought of your thighs suffocating him all night plagued his mind last week. Fuck, he’d take a bite of them right now if you let him. Maybe he could suggest it. It could take his mind off of his own shitty day.
“Are you even listening to me?” You say sternly. He notices you kept on talking while his mind wandered, but he disregards it.
“Wanna fuck?” He asks instead.
You’re baffled. “Sukuna, what the fuck?”
“Damn, you could’ve just said no, brat,” he says rolling his eyes.
You get offended. “Don’t fucking ask me what’s wrong if you’re not going to listen to me.”
“Yeah yeah, you were probably going to talk about how worried you are and shit. I don’t care about that. If you don’t want to get my dick wet I’m going to rub one out,” he says waving his hand in front of your face and standing up from his chair.
You huff out a sarcastic laugh. “Are you serious?”
“Would you prefer me to find someone else to do it for me?” He bites, snapping his head toward you.
He sees you widening your eyes. If there’s a thing you don’t tolerate is cheating, or jokes about it. He knows it. He knows it, dammit. You’re fuming.
“You’re an asshole. Fuck you. I’m sleeping at Nobara’s,” you spit at him, grabbing the purse you left on the side of the table and rushing out the door, slamming it.
When he’s left alone in your shared living room, he keeps on looking at your front door. The silence is making his head hurt, the only thing he’s hearing is the sound of the door slamming. Did he overstep? Nah, you were probably overreacting. He shrugs and finally moves from his spot, going to put his dish in the sink. He leaves yours on the table, because maybe you’ll be hungry when you come home. You usually are after an argument. You’ll come back after a couple of hours saying you didn’t want to worry him too much, you’ll sigh saying this can’t keep on happening and that you’re tired of arguing, then he’ll hug you and everything will be alright. Just like it always is. You’ve never left like this, though.
He ruffles his hair; he’s angry at everything and everyone. You should’ve got that he’s the one overreacting, why didn’t you get him like usual? Why aren’t you still back after 3 hours? He hates feeling angry. He hates feeling tired. He hates feeling in general. Most importantly, he hates that the hands in his hair are his and not yours. He hates the way right now he’s craving your soft voice reassuring him in his ear, your sweet words covering him like a blanket; his head on your chest listening to your heartbeat while lying on your couch, reminding you that you’re there. You’ve always been there. There’s no one else for him, there’s never going to be one. He’d never cheat, you’re so stupid for getting angry about it. Why did you get so mad about it? Suddenly, he’s thinking about random stuff you said that he ingrained in his head.
I love you too, Sukuna. I’ll wait for you to tell me that without me forcing it out, mh? I’ll move in with you, sure, if you ask me so that nicely.
You picked this book because it reminded you of me? Thank you, baby. I love it. Both the book and the fact you thought of me.
Can you stop messing up my sock drawer? No, I did not hide your cigarettes there. But please stop smoking, I love when you taste like my lip gloss and not that disgusting shit you inhale. Give me a kiss so I can prove it to you. I’ll take your breath away way better than tobacco.
He smirks while on the couch, alone. You’re so cute. He wants to bottle up your laugh. Why aren’t you back still? His mind doesn’t stop, though.
You hurt me, Sukuna. Why can’t you notice?
I feel like you don’t care about me.
If I hadn't come to you, would you have come to me? Or would you just have ignored this whole argument and acted like nothing happened?
Am I just filling up a random space you leave open for a significant other or am I the significant other that’s capable of filling that void?
That night he dreams of you. The way you glared at him asking him if he was serious, almost like a warning before you lashed out. He dreams of the hurt that flashed in your eyes when he spewed nonsense. And when he wakes up, you’re still not back. Your unfinished plate is still on the kitchen table.
But he’s prideful, that’s why you’re the one that’s always trying to resolve arguments. Yes, you’ll come back. He’s sure of it. You always came back during the 3 years you've been together.
A week passes by and he's going crazy. You haven't contacted him at all, and he didn't text first. He lies to himself saying it's because he's leaving you some space, but the truth is that he's scared. What is he even supposed to say? Hey, I'm sorry, I miss you, please come home? That's pathetic. He's taking a shower when suddenly his phone rings. His heart skips a beat and he rushes out to check if it's you. Please, let it be you.
Instead it's Yuji, his brother.
Yuji: Hey, what happened with y/n? She asked me to come get some of her things for her. Is she sick?
Sukuna frowns. Then he realizes that- you're going to move out. You're going to break up with him.
He goes into panic mode. He never thought about the possibility of you leaving him. He thought you would come back, like you always do. Why would you leave him? Is it because you finally realized that you're better off with someone who knows how to express their feelings for you? Did you get tired of him? Have you already found someone else?
He finds himself knocking on Nobara's door in the next ten minutes. He ran, he's sweating and it's starting to rain. He's out of breath, and he gets his hands on his knees while he waits for you to open the door. He's not ready to let you go. He can't even fathom a life where he doesn't wake up to you trying to get warm between his arms, without you nagging him while watching a film together, without helping you bake cookies while laughing with each other. Without not being able to talk from how in love he is while looking into your eyes. And he knows that if you leave him he's never going to be able to live in his own house ever again, or walk down the street you always do together, or go grocery shopping and not thinking about you while looking at vegetables. You always said you liked vegetables and he always lied about liking them just to see you excited about cooking them together.
"Yuji, I didn't think you'd be this fas- oh," you open the door and your face falls when you see it's Sukuna. He snaps his gaze toward your face when he hears your voice. He missed it so much. You're so beautiful. He missed all of you. So much.
Neither of you move, you just keep staring at each other. This time, he knows he's going to have to talk first. For the first time, he realizes how hard it actually is to confront someone first. Do you feel like this every time?
"Come home," he says. "Please," he adds.
You look sad. "I don't think I'm going to, Sukuna. It's been more than a week and you didn't even reach out to say... I don't even know what. I know you don't say sorry. You never do."
Your words feel like knives. From where you're standing you're taller than him, and he has to look up to look at you. It's like he's in front of the pearly gates of heaven and an angel is making him confess all the wrong things he did, except in this scenario you're the angel and the things he did are just what he thinks about all of this. About you in general.
And you're right, he doesn't usually say sorry. The words get stuck in his throat and he just gapes up at you, still catching his breath. Pathetic.
You sigh, then go to close the door. You don't look at him anymore and he feels like he can't breathe, and not because of the run.
"I'll come get my things next week. Go home, you'll get wet," you say. And your voice is clear, you're not mumbling, you must have thought about this. He sees how hard you're clenching your jaw to appear resolute, your nails hurting your palms from how hard you're closing your hands. But you still manage to worry about him, worry about him possibly catching a cold from the rain. And he loves you. Fuck, he loves you so much.
"Wait," he manages to say. You look at him with longing. With sorrow.
And he feels like he's crying to the angel in his afterlife when he opens his mouth again, thorns in his throat getting tighter, suffocating him. But he doesn't cry here, in front of you, even if maybe you'd like it. You'd probably say that you appreciate him showing emotions, maybe tease him for it, but you'd like it. He'd kiss you while you're still laughing, saying you're stupid, and you'd continue laughing.
"I love you," he rasps out. The words feel so unfamiliar to his tongue, but so familiar to his ears. You always tell him you love him. "I'm sorry for being a shithead. Please don't leave me. I promise you I'll get better at this communication shit," he begs.
You still don't move, but he sees you getting softer.
"Go home, Sukuna. We'll talk about it when it's not raining," you utter.
"No, I don't fucking want to," he snaps. You're startled, and he cringes. He's really not used to all of this. He doesn't like scaring you.
"Fuck, I meant to say I want to get over it right now. I didn't want to scare you. I want you back, Y/N. Please, have me back. I'll get better for real," he says while getting progressively closer to you.
"You promise?" You ask, now shorter than him. You're a step of distance from each other.
"I promise, baby. I'll make you the happiest girl to ever exist," he tells you, looking at you intensely.
"Start by saying you love me again," you mumble, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head on his chest. He engulfs you in his own arms, inhaling the smell of your shampoo, then snorts.
"Sure. I'm in love with you, brat."
Being in a relationship with Sukuna is hard, but he loves you easily.
829 notes · View notes
adultbabystories · 26 days
Text
Sticky Pants - Part A
When someone sees you, he may think you started to wear diapers because you wet yourself. Now it may be true, but it’s not why you started. It’s not why Daddy decided to make this translation for you, whether you liked it or not. 
Daddy had enough of catching you touching yourself. When you were alone. When he was in the house and you were in another room. Even once when there were guests in the house and you forgot to lock the bathroom door. One gentleman only wanted to wash his hands after dinner and he had to watch you being naughty. Daddy had enough.
That gentleman told Daddy that from his experience, the best thing naughty boys need is to “Lock them up”, as you heard him telling Daddy that evening after the incident. 
A week after, Daddy called you to come sit next to him. He explained he was done with your behavior. He took down your shorts and tighty whities, and with a swift motion locked your flaccid penis.
“I knew small was the right size.” he chuckled and fisted your shoulder.
You were shocked and red from embarrassment. 
The chastity device, or as Daddy liked to call it, “Cage”, became your new reality. You were so horny but couldn’t do anything about it. You missed touching yourself so much. The frustration grew stronger every day. One morning you woke up to find out you had a wet dream. You panicked and threw away the underwear because you were afraid Daddy would find out. Since that morning, pre cum in your tighty whities was a regular thing. You couldn’t help it, it was just pouring out.
One evening the same gentleman who gave Daddy that horrible advice came to dinner again. When you sat in front of him, waves of shame and resentment were pulsing inside of you towards that man. You hated him for what he’d done to you. All those awful emotions were stirring up something inside of you and in your pants. You were throbbing in your cage. You couldn’t look at the man because when you did, your cage was closing on you even more. You asked to be excused from the table, which Daddy granted. When you were standing up, all of you were visible, including your gray sweatpants. 
“Awwww did your boy have an accident?” the man smiled.
“What?” Daddy asked as he was coming back from the kitchen.
“We got a clear case of ‘Sticky Pants’” the man laughed and pointed.
“Come here!” Daddy raised his voice at you.
You walked towards him. He took your wrist in his hand and lifted it so you won’t hide what happened. With his other hand, he swatted your rear, like you were just a bad boy. All that, in front of that man.
“What am I gonna do with you? Huh?! What I’m going to do with him? I knew you were ruining your tighty whities for a while now, isn’t it right? Such a bad boy, and in front of our guest.” Daddy was mad.
“Well, There is a solution for keeping Sticky Pants dry.” the man said and winked at you.
“I’m listening…” Daddy said as he sat down in his chair, forcing you to sit on his lap when you were on the verge of crying.
467 notes · View notes
dazai-ritualist · 30 days
Text
DOMESTIC LIFE WAS NEVER QUITE MY STYLE…
— married life with alastor back in 1925, louisiana
— is this ooc :(? ive been in a ooc rut ever since school ended i miss my pookies n like i cried so much that day 😔 BTW THIS IS THE FIC I HSED THE ALASTOR AI TEXTS :>
Tumblr media
lord above! you have to be some kind of gem to secure a man such as alastor. to be that woman, it’s almost certain that you’re someone who understands alastor in ways no one else has.
he doesn’t tend to express his affections physically, but more than makes up for it through his sweet nothings and lavish gifts
he’s most definitely the type to spoil his wife, but only if you ask him for it yourself. he doesn’t want to buy things you have no use for
has a trust fund in his will set for you if, god forbid, he died before you. he doesnt want his love to worry about money, just let him take care of it.
unlike many households at the time, alastor would help with the chores. despite his full-time job, he’d sorta understand that taking care of a house is a full-time job in itself since he’d spent his childhood watching how hard his mother works so, he agrees to always split chores with you.
because of his work, and his popularity, his boss asks that he comes in early to host the morning segment of the show. because of this, it’s not often that you two share a morning together. but, he still remembers to kiss your pretty head good morning, occasionally adding a request for dinner
his mother is MORE than happy to welcome you into the family. she’s just glad that her son found someone that makes him happy.
honestly on the fence about kids. on one hand, it’d make his mother really happy, as well as how it’s expected at the time period. but, he isn’t too interested in physically showing his desires. and, he is quite busy as well with his job and the whole murdering thing. it’s only if you ask him explicitly that he’d decide to look into it, maybe adoption? :>
quite good at putting your insecurities at ease. sweet nothings for days on end can come out of his mouth and he’s still not done.
as you sob into alastor’s chest, his arms wrap around your body warmly as he plays with your hair. "whenever you’re ready to talk, my love.” he held you close, wiping your tears until you were ready to talk.
alastor listened silently as you told him of all your doubts; that you weren’t a good wife, the whispers of every woman in town, everything. “my love, i’ll love you no matter what. it’s the woman inside that i am in love with.” he says as he brushes the hair out of your face, gazing down at you lovingly. “i won’t lie, there are times when you are… feisty. but, it’s your passion and intelligence that always bring me back to you.”
your lips quiver as you try to quell your tears. “can… can you swear that? that you’ll love me no matter what..?” his gaze became gentle as he saw the genuine doubt in your expression. “you have my word, dear. no matter what happens, i’d never stop loving you. even if we fought everyday, i would still be a fool for you. because, well… i suppose the heart wants what the heart wants. and, it is you that my heart yearns for, love.” alastor assured you, his eyes falling as he spoke.
as the sweet nothings fell from his lips, your tears ceased, finding the warmth in his touch. “thank you, dear… you always know how to make me feel better, i love you so much…” you sighed, curling into his touch. “mmh, i love you as well, my pretty girl.” he grinned, kissing your forehead.
as stated above, alastor is not particularly attracted to your looks, but moreso your intelligence and your ability to see right through that charming facade of his. funnily enough, it started a healthy relationship for one of the most deranged men out there.
he’d also be quite attracted to you if you joined him one night. nothing’s more attractive than your beautiful wife in a pretty dress he bought for you all bloodied up with a knife in your hand.
he loves to show you off to the newspapers as his pretty doll, not only because you’re quite the eye candy, but to also make you confident in yourself
he’d still get jealous whenever he’d catch someone staring too long though. ironically enough, he thinks it’s adorable when you get jealous and pout your face. he’s your’s after all, body and soul! why fuss over something that’s not gonna happen?
arguments are quite rare since alastor doesn’t tend to do things that are argument worthy. one of the few reasons you tend to argue is when alastor heads to the club after work and comes home drunk and much later than he intended to. and, after all that, he still apologizes for coming home late, probably tries to come home early so he can cook dinner the next day as an apology :>
488 notes · View notes
dimepdf · 11 months
Text
★  𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓. + 𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐎'𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀
Tumblr media
masterlist. / taglist. / tip jar. synopsis. miguel o’hara and the nsfw alphabet challenge.
─── ☆ notes. anyone got a slime tutorial link to the new movie yet? . | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍
─── ☆ length. 1.5k (11 min read).
─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | headcanon's | not movie canon | no movie spoilers | creampies | facials | cum play | jerking off | oral sex | eye contact | body worship | size kink | height difference | over stimulation | edging | jealousy | teasing | possessiveness | marking | biting | slight sub/dom | cuddling | let me know if I missed any | not beta'd.
Tumblr media
A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)
Miguel isn’t the type to wind down that quickly, but he is extremely considerate of your feelings and well-being, most of the time he’s making sure you're okay. Especially since the last thing he ever wants is to make you seem unwanted after having sex with him.
That being said, it did take him a while to get used to the whole cuddling and comfort thing. You swear, at the beginning of your relationship, it was like trying to hug one big bear, but as you two spent more time together, he started to crave just having you wrapped in his arms and listening to your heartbeat every now and then.
B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)
He could go on and on about how much he loves every part of you; seriously, you could tell because of how much he cannot keep his hands off of you, but realistically, his answer in the back of his mind is your mouth and thighs. He’s so down bad. 
Whenever you try talking to him, you always catch him staring at your lips like he’s just starving to kiss you. It's the same situation with your thighs as well. Sometimes you would be standing around the house in the mind of a conversation and suddenly feel Miguel’s fingers groping the plush of your thighs, gawking at your legs like he has no home training.
C= Cum (anything that has to do with it) 
Oh brother, this man is a mess in the head, he loves, I mean loves, to see you covered in his cum: facials, creampies, you name a place on your body for him to cum on, and he’ll do it with pleasure.
There’s just something about seeing your soft brown skin painted with traces of him all over your body, especially when he would cum inside you. His favorite thing to do is spread your legs and watch it spill out, only to push it all back in and give you another load. 
D= Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory)
Miguel is a very pent-up possessive man, no matter what he does, he just can't get enough of you, which leaves him feeling extremely needy whenever you're gone or just don't feel in the mood. He would just jack off at the thought of you to relieve himself.
E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)
You had expected him to come from around the entire block from the easy he would pick you up and fuck you, but surprisingly, Miguel only really had a handful of partners in his past—nothing too extreme. 
F= Favorite position
He says he isn't really picky, yet somehow you always end up with your stomach pressed against some surface. Most of the time he sees no point in containing himself, plus weight isn't really an issue on his behalf. Whenever your legs give out from standing, he’ll just pick your ass up as if you weighed absolutely nothing and keep the same pace.
G= Goofy (how serious are they)
He likes to completely mirror your emotions or help you ease up more. He's very big on paying attention to the smallest detail, so if you're someone who feels a little anxious or nervous, no matter how many times you two have had sex, he needs to break that broadening act to crack a few dry jokes or shower you in compliments to make you feel more comfortable.
H= Hair (grooming habits)
This man is covered in dark hair from chest to toe. He doesn't really find the amount of body hair alarming, but he doesn't like to upkeep his pubic hair a bit, especially giving himself a trim whenever he wears his spider suit. He just doesn't really care that much to shave it all off, but if you asked him too, he wouldn't mind much.
I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty) 
He’s pretty reluctant to be overly smothering, with his inmate moments just coming out of the blue, especially with his cold attitude. Most of the time, when you think he’s tense, he’ll switch, turn around, and start praising you. Sometimes he doesn't realize it, but most of the time it's always after he feels like he went a bit too far with degrading you, so he switches up just to even it all out with praise and saying how good you make him feel while holding eye contact.
J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)
Miguel just has the habit of stressing himself out all the damn time, and half of the time it's always over him being too worked up. Whenever he has a moment alone and you just can't be there, he likes to turn to his memory of you to help work off some of his tension.
K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)
Marking. I’m talking biting, scratches, hickeys, and God forbid Miguel sees the fingerprint bruises forming on your hips after he lets you ride him. Just the thought of having traces of him all over you makes that possessive switch in him go haywire.
Size kink. He’s a big guy through and through, and no matter what, he makes sure to remind you of your size difference. Blessed tall and broad, standing next to you, he’s practically a brick wall with the audacity to have a big dick.
Eye contact. Dear Lord, you better hope you laid down in one of his favorite positions and he hasn't fucked the common sense out of you by the time you're about to cum because Miguel will twist you like a hot pretzel and have you begging like your life depended just to hear you say his name and while you look into his eyes.
L= Location (where they like to get it on)
Anywhere with privacy and on every surface he could reach—floor, wall, upside—doing the splits, Miguel damn near used webs to find a way to have you against him.
M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)
Miguel will get turned on by the smallest of things: you stretching near him, you wearing his clothes, you looking at him, you saying his name in a certain way, you, you, you. It's like he has brain rot, and you're all he can think about.
But he also likes it when you get angry or annoyed with him; there's just something about you snapping at him and trying to put him in his place that gets him going.
N= No (turn offs or absolutely won’t do)
Pegging, piss and poop. 
O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are) 
He loves giving more than receiving, mostly because he prefers it. There’s just something about teasing and edging you until you can't handle it anymore that leaves him wanting to lay you back and spread you open for hours on end.
But if you're offering, it's completely your loss. Miguel loves sitting back and watching you struggle trying not to gag or fit him entirely down your throat; either way, it's a free show for him.
P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)
Whenever he’s feeling less merciful and wants to spice things up from the usual fucking you until your lace sweats off type sex, he loves to just see how long he can push you to the edge (which is a lot more days than you’d like to think), and he will be petty and take it super slow just to see your body twitch and squirm for more of his attention.
Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)
Even if you're the one offering quickies, it always ends up with you having to reschedule your plans.
R= Risk (do they like to try new things)
He’s open to new ideas but never really offers any himself. Miguel completely trusts you and is willing to do whatever you want for your pleasure, but just know that nothing at the end of the day will get him off but you.
S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)
You have to remind him most times that you don't have the same enhanced superhuman abilities as he does. No matter how many times he tries to make you cum in just one night. You swear sometimes it's like you're fighting for your fucking life just to catch one five-minute break.
T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)
Is the type to feel a bit insulted if you ever mentioned having one or using one until you would regret offering him to use a vibrater on you. Like you handed a murder a knife the moment he found your rose toy and figured out how to use it. 
U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)
There is no sex without a bit of teasing with Miguel; he definitely pushes you a lot just to get a reaction out of you normally, so doing it in bed only comes naturally to him, and if you're not begging, he ain't giving. 
V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)
He does not shut the fuck up! You will hear him, whether it's grunting on top of you, raspy whimpering in your ear, or talking you through it. Miguel is very vocal, just not as loud with his moans since he prefers to hear yours instead.
W= Wild card (random sin cannon of any sort)
Has absolutely no issues with letting you ride him with the suit on. 
X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)
Slightly less tanned than his skin tone, with a slight curve to the left, and too girthy for his own good.
Y= Yearning (sex drive level)
Surprisingly, not that high, especially since he isn't a really big PDA person and the only time he ever gets worked up is in the comfort of privacy.
Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)
Sometimes you have to trick him into falling asleep with you. Dude has really bad insomnia, but having you all cuddled up next to him really helps with his shit sleeping schedule.
Tumblr media
🔖 ...
tap here to be added to taglist.
2K notes · View notes
dammn-dean · 3 months
Note
Hii could you do a ghost x reader who is just gave birth having their day old child and soap John gaz came over to ghost house to see the baby once the reader left the room to go breastfeed their baby in their room price telling ghost how far he had come in life
Here you go! Thank you for the request, and I hope it’s okay. I made it a bit more (just a week) rather than a day old before they came over. That’s just because if someone came to my house the day I got home after giving birth, I would kill them 😅
Too Good
Pairing: Simon Riley x Female Reader
Words: 2400+
Warnings: Nothing really!
Also, this is the same universe as Unexpected! You don't have to read them first, but if you want to here is Part 1 and Part 2.
Tumblr media
Beautiful art/rendering from @ave661
"Love, they are here!” Simon’s voice bellowed through the flat to reach your ears.
You let out a small, “Okay,” just loud enough for him to hear it. Your eyes staring back at you in the mirror, checking your appearance. 
Today was the day you were finally going to meet Simon’s team. You had overheard a conversation he had on the phone a week back, when you finally were home from the hospital. Simon was good at being sneaky (it was in the job description) but you still overheard him. 
“Aye, I need a bit more time,” he murmured into the phone. 
After a brief pause, “What do you mean ‘Just because’ isn’t an excuse?” He huffed. 
You were paused in the hallway, sleeping baby in your arms just praying she would stay asleep so you could listen in to the conversation a moment longer. 
“Gaz saw me take off from base? Bloody hell.” You could almost hear him gripping between his eyes in irritation. 
“Yes, I promise everything is alright yeah? Just had a bit of something to do.” He explained vaguely as ever. 
There was a long pause on his end, like the person on the other side of the phone was lecturing him. He will give an occasional small ‘Yes’, ‘I know’ or ‘Yes sir’,  which had you wondering who he was talking to. 
“Fuck me, Cap. You make it impossible to not tell you everything. Listen, I’ll call you later today and tell you everything okay?” Simon barely paused long enough for a response before he hung up. 
With a long sigh, he stood from his spot on the couch. He had noticed you were gone an awfully long time and began down the hallway to check on you. 
Too focused on slowly rocking your sleeping daughter in your arms and trying to be quiet to listen to his call you hadn’t even realized Simon was heading your way until it was too late. 
You almost jumped out of our skin when he appeared like an apparition into your vision. 
“Jesus Si!” You quietly yelled, more of a whisper to make sure you didn’t wake the baby. 
You watched as his lips curled into a smirk. “And just what are you doing sweetheart?” He leaned his shoulder into the wall as casual as ever. 
“Oh uh- well I was you know, well I was-“ your brain couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough.
“Didn’t take you for an eavesdropper sweet girl,” he said with a grin. 
“I wasn’t eavesdropping,” you replied defensively. 
“Right,” he laughed. “Hear anything good?”
“Not… really,” you murmured, clearly caught. 
“That was my Captain,” he explained. “Checking in on things after the way I left base.” 
You simply nodded, not quite sure what to say. 
“I thought I had left unseen, but apparently Gaz saw me leave ‘in a panic’ as he put it,” he rolled his eyes. “So he wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Makes sense.” You bit the inside of your lip to stop from adding on to the sentence. 
But Simon always reads you like a book. He squinted at you before questioning “What is it?” 
Your eyebrows almost shot to your hairline at that. You cleared your throat and slowly walked around him to head towards the living room. The baby’s bassinet was in there and it would make it easier to have this conversation if she wasn’t in your arms. You gently placed her down with a kiss on her head, Simon followed right behind you and mirrored you with a tender kiss in the exact spot you had kissed her precious little head. 
You sighed softly before sitting on the couch. Simon sat beside you, shifting himself to face you a little more before you started talking. 
“I suppose I wondered… why didn’t you just tell him the truth?” You questioned softly. 
“Just what do you mean sweetheart?” 
“Well I mean… why didn’t you just tell him you left because I called you and that we have a baby.” You asked with a small tilt of your head. 
“Oh.” Simon responded with a hand on the back of his neck. He took a moment or two before his eyes met you again. “Love, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way and I hope you will let me explain.” He pleaded.
Even though that made you terrified, you just focused on your breathing and nodded. 
“Well I haven’t told the team about you yet,” he explained softly. 
Your face betrayed you and it fell immediately, eyes unable to meet him. Not even a second passed before his hands were on your tugging your chin back up to look at him. 
“It isn’t like that my love,” Simon went on. “You are just… everything to me. I come here to you and I don’t think about work. You deserve the world and somehow I thought keeping you and them separated would be best.” 
Hazel eyes held yours for a long time, nothing but true and raw emotion in them to convey he was telling the truth. 
“I understand,” you replied quietly. 
“Also, we haven’t really talked about if you wanted me to tell the team so I didn’t want to overstep…” Simon professed. 
As silly as it sounds out loud, he never wanted to force you to be a part of that part of his life, a part of the Ghost’s life. He has endured things you never deserved to even hear of, his sweet girl didn’t need to be exposed to it all if he had any say in the matter.
“I don’t mind if you tell people about me,” you said, almost embarrassed. You could feel the tips of your ears warming at the confession. 
“Yeah pretty?” He smiled as he gently touched your cheek with his fingers? “You want me to tell my team about you?” 
“Well I don’t-you don’t have to.” You mumbled out quickly. 
“You think I wouldn’t want to tell them about you?” Simon asked honestly. His fingers gently pushed your hair behind your ear. 
“I- I don’t know. Does everyone else talk about their partners?” You questioned honestly. 
“Price is the only one with a partner, Gaz and Johnny brag about their flings occasionally.” Simon broke into a big grin. “They won’t know what to do when I tell them about you.” 
“Oh,” you bit the inside of your lip again. “So you want to tell them about me?” 
“Of course love… I’ve almost let it slip out a few times as is,” Simon leaned in to brush a kiss along your cheek. “And I can’t wait to tell them about Emma too. If you are okay with that?” He pulled back to read your face. 
“I’m okay with it if you are, Si,” you reassured him. 
“I’m okay with it… but I will warn you once I tell them they won’t want to wait long before seeing you and the little miss,” he smiled as he leaned his head to meet yours. 
You paused for a moment, taking him in. Feeling safe and happier than you can remember feeling in a long time. “I’m okay with that.” 
So there you stood, in your mirror. Checking your appearance for the 5th or 6th time for the night. Even though you were a new mom, dealing with a changed body you wanted to make a good impression. 
Emma had been in her bassinet sleeping, awaiting the arrival of Simon’s friends (or work mates as he put it). Your body was still healing, so you had thrown on a soft but matching lounge set and felt nice to not be wearing a spit-up stained shirt and sweats for once. 
Simon opened the front door to see Price, Gaz and Johnny. All looking varied shades of giddy. Johnny was all but bouncing on his toes. Gaz held a kind smile that was a little bit too big to be classified as a ‘normal’ grin. Price stood behind the other two, stoic and holding a pretty bouquet of flowers. 
“Flowers are for the Missus,” Price began with a smile. 
“And this is for the little miss,” Gaz exclaimed. Pulling a gift bag that was hidden behind his back. 
Simon couldn’t help the small chuckle that fell from him. 
“Well come in then, yeah?” He asked with an arm out inviting his team into your flat. 
One by one the men made their way inside, all smacking Simon’s shoulder with pride before coming face to face with you in the living room. Simon took a few steps in your direction, before placing a gentle hand on your lower back to guide you deeper into the room.
“Price, Johnny, Gaz,” Simon began pointing as he said their name. “This is Y/N, sweetheart… this is my team.” Simon wouldn’t admit that he was nervous, but you could hear the waver in his voice that wasn’t usually there. 
“Heya there Mrs Ghost,” Johnny spoke up first, hand out shaking yours gently. “You dinnae tell us she was such a bonnie lass aye, LT.” His Scottish accent was thick, but the compliment followed by the wink he gave you had your ears burning. 
“Don’t you start with her MacTavish,” Simon warned jokingly, but pulled you into him a little more.
“I’m Gaz,” Gaz spoke up with a charming smile and a small handshake. “Pleasure to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you,” you replied as your eyes fell to the small gift bag in his hand. He held the gift out, and Simon grabbed it. “We got the little Miss a gift, hope that’s alright.” Gaz gave you a huge grin showing almost all of his teeth. Even if you weren’t okay with the gift, how could anyone say no to him? 
The last man, with the mutton chops was the only one left and you knew who he was because Simon spoke about him the most to you, Captain Price.  
The Captain held out a beautiful bouquet of flowers to you, which you took immediately and smelled. “Nice to meet you,” he began. “Hard to believe someone has held Ghost’s heart and he is just now telling us about you.” He held a polite smile, but his voice had an edge to it.
Simon’s hand that was free raised to the back of his neck nervously. You let your eyes drift to his for a moment, silently checking in. Simon gave your waist a small and reassuring squeeze, signally that he’s good.
“Thank you all for the gifts… and it’s so nice to meet all of you. It’s great to be able to put faces to the names from Si’s stories.” 
“Si, eh?” Johnny’s lips turn up in a grin at the nickname.
“Johnny,” Price spoke up at that, warning him to behave. 
“Well who wants to meet Emma?” You spoke up, ready to move past the formalities. 
Simon nodded, and led you over to where she was still sleeping soundly in the bassinet. Once your eyes fall on her sleeping form you can’t help but smile. As gently as Simon could he picked her up with a kiss on her head, and laid her in your arms so that everyone could see her. The men gently circle in around you, none of them wanting to be the last to lay their eyes on her. 
“Wow,” Gaz whispered out. 
“Beautiful bairn LT,” Johnny complimented. His hand reaching out for Simon’s shoulder again to congratulate.
“This is Emma,” you introduce her to the team. 
She was tiny, sleeping while swaddled in her blanket. Price felt pride swell up in his chest, same as he would as if this was his biological grandchild. Simon stood at your side, watching you show off your daughter. Hand never leaving your lower back, as his other gently brushes her little cheek with the back of two fingers. 
Simon looked to Price and their eyes met, “Congratulations you two, what a wonderful baby girl.”
Emma decided now was the time to start whimpering, in warning before she started to cry out. You immediately started shushing her gently and bouncing her softly, to soothe her. 
“I think it’s time for someone to eat,” you explain to the group. “We will be back.”
Simon whispers into your ear, just a small word of encouragement before you head to the nursery to feed your daughter. 
They all watch you leave, no one speaking up until the door closes behind you. 
“Well if I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it.” Gaz gushed immediately. 
“Aye, LT you are pulling way outcha league,” Johnny bellows out a laugh at that. 
“Shut it, Johnny.” Simon rolls his eyes before heading to the kitchen. “Want a drink?” They all give different versions of a yes, then Price speaks up that he will join Simon in the kitchen. Gaz and Johnny then take a seat on the couch, starting up conversation immediately.
Simon heads straight to the cabinet snagging 4 tumblers out, before reaching to the bourbon on the counter. 
“Thanks for inviting us Simon,” Price started. “Your girls are lovely.” 
Simon couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at his lips. Despite how uncomfortable he was with all of this, from inviting his team into your flat, being a new father, hell he hasn’t even asked you if he can move in with you full time yet, he felt more at peace than he had in a long time. 
“Thanks Price.” He slid his glass across the island to Price, and he accepted the glass with a tilt of his head.
“You have come a long way, Simon.” Price expressed honestly. “In more ways than I can ever express.” He leaned his elbows on the island, looking into the glass of amber liquid. “Seeing you happy like this isn’t something I ever expected.” Price pulled his eyes from the glass to meet Simon’s. 
“Hell, I for sure never expected it,” Simon joked. 
“I mean it,” Price held a serious tone. “You deserve this.”
Simon nodded, not sure he did deserve this, but no sense in saying it outloud. 
“Aye, LT you mind if we put the match on?” Gaz asked from the entry of the kitchen, hand gesturing back to the TV in the living room.
“Sure,” he answered with a shake of his head. 
Without another word, Simon grabbed a second tumbler for one of the guys as Price grabbed the remaining one. 
“Who would believe we are going to watch the football match in Ghost’s flat?” Johnny jokes from the couch, grabbing the glass Simon handed him.
With a roll of his eyes, “Don’t get used to it.” Although, a smile was on his lips and his tone wasn’t as serious as usual. Maybe having them over isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Since this could be read as part 3 of Unexpected I went ahead and tagged you all again! Hope that is okay 😊
Tags: @daemondoll @mileyraes @axoleos @arminarlertssword @wawuwe @cxltblood @mrflyingbanana03 @itsmytimetoodream @arminarlertssword @mrssabinecallas @babygirl-riley @gplol @yuly
Thank you for reading! If you have an idea or request for a fic, feel free to send 🖤
933 notes · View notes
velchronica · 3 months
Text
blue lock boys’ perfect matches ( part i ) ♬~*.°₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ bllk
charas: isagi, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, reo (seperate, aged up/pro, fem!reader)
୨୧ * my personal hcs on who the bllk boys would fall in love with, how they’d meet and some scenarios unique to their relationships * just for fun -> nothing serious ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ * (part one/???)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
isagi yoichi! ˖♡ ࣪‧♫ ₊˚໒꒱⋆✩
୨୧ * i feel like isagi would probably be the type who falls in love with the sports journalist interviewing him 😭 he’s such a football nerd & he’d defo suit someone who understands his passion, esp on a technical level. he defo rambles and borderline mansplains his tactics and plays to a sports journalist!s/o, but i also think he’s good at finding a decent work-life balance, so sports isn’t everything in your relationship.
୨୧ * isagi’s ability to separate his professional life aka his football ego/persona from his sweet irl personality would make him a green flag bf, bc he defo puts in as much effort into his relationship as he does football. he loves football, but he also loves his s/o just as much, if not slightly more, so while football is a prominent part in both your lives, it isn’t necessarily the defining factor in your relationship.
୨୧ * i also think isagi would date someone driven towards their own career, even if it’s not journalism. he defo would LOVE you in sporty clothing or leggings that show off ur thighs cos he has a canonical thing for those lmao. oh AND he’s the type who’s quite good with kids but has a level of awkwardness with them still, so watching his s/o struggle to interact with them would set him up for a laugh (w/ no ill intent, ofc). but if you’re really good with kids, no problem, because he’ll just watch you with sparkling eyes full of awe, heart swelling with unbridled affection.
୨୧ * he would defo be the perfect bf if you’re a picky eater cos he’ll find ways to work with your preferences but also encourage you to try new foods. the gentlemen who whisks you out everywhere to try new cuisine at nice restaurants and sneakily pays mid-meal during a ‘bathroom break’ so that when you attempt to pull your card out afterwards, he can simply smile and shake his head. goddamnit isagi. his argument is that growing up average and then getting propelled into wealth and fame means that he jumps at every opportunity to spoil you and show you off. you’re beautiful inside and out and he won’t treat you like anything less than a goddess.
Tumblr media
bachira meguru! ˖♡ ࣪‧♫ ₊˚໒꒱⋆✩
୨୧ * bachira’s ideal s/o is either someone who loves retro 70s clothing, an indie band kid, or both combined. i feel like bachira’s goofy ass would go well with someone sweet, but not quite as hyperactive as himself. his ideal s/o is definitely either a bookworm or a guitarist, with no in between. he’s defo such a gremlin with you, either interrupting your peaceful reading sessions by being clingy and demanding cuddles, or asking you to play his favourite songs instead of the things you’re meant to be practicing.
୨୧ * bachira would go to every single one of guitarist!s/o’s gigs. he loves you so much, after all! you can hear his holler of your name over the crowds cheers as the speakers blare and your strings come to life. he’s not a memorisation-strong kind of guy, but he definitely knows all the lyrics to your favourite songs, and the lyrics to your originals, too. he has two versions of each one of your albums, one for the cd and one to add to the house-of-cd-cases-turned-shrine he has assembled somewhere in your apartment.
୨୧ * whereas with bookworm!s/o, bachira got his mom to teach him how to paint so that he could do those viral page-edge paintings. on your birthday, he gifts you hardback copies of your favourite books with intricate fore-edge paintings to match. if your favourite book has a movie or tv show adaption that you love, he definitely painted your favourite scene. although he’s not an avid reader, bachira will listen to your attempts to summarise a recently-read novel, even if he’s not quite following by halfway through.
୨୧ * he also only sporadically posts on his socials, but when he does, it’s usually random shitposts or spam posts of the two of you together. maybe at a gig or at a bookstore, but they’re all ‘artistically’ blurry. still, both of your smiles are clearly visible despite the lack of phone camera focus.
Tumblr media
chigiri hyoma! ˖♡ ࣪‧♫ ₊˚໒꒱⋆✩
୨୧ * if you tell me this man wouldn’t date a a fashion magazine editor!s/o, you’re lying. he’s such a princess, and i can just imagine him as being a passionate fashionista as well, so i think he’d suit someone with a similar love for and knowledge of style. bring this man to fashion week please. actually, he probably met you there. he defo also impulse buys designer, whether it’s bags, clothes or just a pair of shades. he’s a diva like that /hj
୨୧ * shopping is a battle to the death between the two of you on which store to go in next. there’s not enough hours in the working day to account for your retail therapy sessions, given how long the two of you spend browsing the aisles together. at some point you panic, wondering where you’ve misplaced $500 of clothes, until your boyfriend rolls his eyes and shakes the bags he’s holding. you don’t even remember giving him the bags.
୨୧ * the two of you definitely rate and critique met gala outfits together. contrary to what most may believe, it is a NEED, not a want. when someone comes wandering onto the red carpet dressed in this year’s fashion monstrosity, just know that the two of you will be referencing it for days if not weeks, because really, how could anyone have the guts to go out wearing that?
୨୧ * just hope that you’re good with hair, because this fussy princess isn’t going to let you within ten feet of his if you have a brush in hand and you aren’t. his hair is his prized possession for all that he does the bare minimum to look as dazzling as he does, and chigiri would rather not ruin it. but if you’re good at elaborate and pretty hairdos, just know that his winding down comfort time is letting you try out new styles, strands of pink dancing over one another as they’re weaved into place by your fingers.
Tumblr media
kunigami rensuke! ˖♡ ࣪‧♫ ₊˚໒꒱⋆✩
୨୧ * kunigami’s so highschool sweethearts-coded. maybe you started dating before blue lock and persevered through his change in persona, knowing full well that his kind and hardworking self was still present under the gruff, cold exterior. maybe he pined after you hopelessly for years until stumbling upon you years later. either way, he’s been madly in love with you since your high school days, and don’t think he’ll ever stop.
୨୧ * but like oh my god, this man would SO date a kindergarten (or elementary school) teacher!s/o. someone who is doting and good with kids, but is also hardworking and knows how to reward people efforts or work on their lack thereof. maybe it’s his superhero agenda but i think early years teachers are heroes in themselves, teaching young children valuable life lessons and basic skills and subjects, and therefore i think kunigami would really suit a teacher!s/o.
୨୧ * bring this man to meet your students and give them an assembly on how taking care of themselves plus hard work are the keys to fulfilling their dreams. the way these kids would be screaming because their sweet, humble teacher is dating football phenomenon kunigami rensuke, and he’s here to tell them that alcohol and nicotine addictions aren’t healthy. plus, eat your greens, kids. you’ll become a superhero in no time.
୨୧ * kunigami is either hopeless at cooking, five star michelin-worthy malewife chef material, or, the most boring option, the most mid chef of all time. ‘mid’ as in, he can put together a decent meal but nothing mindblowing, only occasionally tries to cook something new. i like to think that as the middle child, his older sister is a lost cause when it came to cooking, and his younger sister is quite the closet gourmet, so he knows how to cook pretty damn well. just know that after a long day, if he’s home earlier than you, you can expect an array of delectable dishes and the most delicious feast you can imagine waiting for you.
Tumblr media
mikage reo! ˖♡ ࣪‧♫ ₊˚໒꒱⋆✩
୨୧ * i feel like reo would date someone who is far from having grown up well-off, maybe someone who grew up with difficult domestic circumstances, someone who’s fought tooth and nail to reach where they are today. for this reason, i feel like he’d date a corporate ceo!s/o. he admires how you’re both self-assured and self-made, and how your success bloomed from your own efforts and skill. to reo, who’s grown up with privilege and wealth without ever really having to try before he found football, he can’t help but find your work ethic and resilience attractive. they say confidence is attractive, after all.
୨୧ * he loves to spoil you, but he definitely doesn’t buy your love. while a good portion of his gifts to you do involve a waving of his black card, and are often designer, he also likes the authenticity of doing something for you. after all, with all the money in the world, he worries material goods may seem like half-assed presents that can’t even convey half of his feelings towards you. especially a ceo!s/o, because he’d hate for you to feel belittled by his love just because he was born into money. that won’t do at all! so now reo invests a lot of his spare time learning to do things himself, so that he can then do those things for you.
୨୧ * one of those things was pottery. prior to the two of you moving in together, he had been taking classes on ceramics and pottery so that he could surprise you with his hand-crafted and painted dining set. plates, mugs, bowls—each of them were painted with motifs relevant to places you’d been together. from the tropical beaches of bali, to the mountain views of peru and even the most famous italian vineyards—every plate was painted to bear some resemblance to the backgrounds of photos you’d taken at these locations. after all, reo is quite the globetrotter, because he loves going on adventures with you.
୨୧ * but sometimes the best days are days when you can laze about together. listen, reo’s always been the type of guy to never have a moment of rest. he always had so many things to do, because he was so good at everything that people usually required more of him. not that it was impossible for him, but it did mean a lot of his life was always scheduled out, busy and hectic. that’s why reo relishes in the moments where can relax in your arms, away from prying eyes, the paparazzi, the outside world—he loves how you can make a day full of nothing everything to him.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
© velchronica 2024
454 notes · View notes
Text
Middle Class Lady Who has the Gang Sneak in Her Window
"The gang falling for a woman of a higher class and a father that doesn't approve of them so they usually sneak through their window to be together" @livingdeadgirly​
Genre: Fluff - some angst if you squint (Fem Reader uses she/her pronouns) Featuring: Arthur, John, Dutch, Javier, Charles, Sean, and Sadie Warnings: Mentions of guns, outlaw type of stuff
AN: I'm so sorry these took me forever to write! if some of them seem a little out of character please ignore it and pretend they aren't :D ---> Requests are open! Check out my guidelines if you have any questions
<><><><>
Arthur Morgan:
Your father owned his own saloon which gave him an incredible insight into the type of men who frequented his establishment. He thought of this as a blessing once you started growing older and wishing to be courted, he could keep an ear out for anyone that he deemed unworthy for you.
Unsurprisingly, anyone who frequented the bar was not someone your father wanted anywhere near you. Especially when it came to an outlaw by the name of Arthur Morgan. The two of them had a long-standing feud (actually it was your father who hated Arthur and Arthur was too busy being infatuated with you to notice).
The first time Arthur was seen speaking to you in front of the saloon, your father came barreling through the doors to usher you inside. He instructed you to never speak to him again. Of course you didn’t listen.
Months go by and Arthur has made an extreme effort to get as close to you as he can without your father’s knowledge. The two of you will just so happen to go to the same general store at the same time every Friday by ‘accident’, you just so happen to run into him when you take your horse for a little trail ride to exercise, and every once in a while you both somehow end up behind the theater at on show nights by some strange chance of fate.
After a while, you’re so sick of having to keep your interactions short and sweet and secret in the public eye (lest anyone witness it and run off to tattle to your father). You write a quick letter to Arthur one day asking him to meet you at the side of your house at midnight.
When he gets there and you’re nowhere to be found he’s beyond confused; it’s not until he hears a sharp whistle and looks up to see you waving at him from your second story window that he understands your plan.
“The things I do for you, woman.” He grumbles with a smile and begins hoisting himself up the tree conveniently located right by the window.
You’ve already got the window open as he reaches the top and you begin helping him crawl inside. Now Arthur is a large, bulky man he isn’t exactly as nimble as he might have been once upon a time. You can barely contain your giggles as he lumbers into the room ungracefully and nearly face-plants into the rug on your floor.
“I ain’t had to do this since I was a boy,” He smiles down at you once he steadies himself as you grin up at him widely.
“You’re still young enough to climb through a lady’s window yet, Mr. Morgan.” You tease.
It’s the first time the two of you have ever truly been alone since you met and the tension in the air is palpable. Arthur looks between you and your carefully cleaned and decorated bedroom, then down at his dirty boots on your rug and worn denim pants. He was the complete opposite of you - he didn’t deserve to ruin your space with his grimy life and clothes.
“What you thinking about, Cowboy?” You place a hand on his cheek and turn his head to make him look back at you. He’d confess a few of his doubts, not trusting himself to tell you that he doesn’t deserve you flatout, and you’d shake your head and lead him over to your bed and have him sit down.
You’d kiss him and quiet his thoughts, allowing your actions to say more than words ever could and from that moment on he’d find himself climbing up a tree every other night.
Your father didn’t figure it out ever, even though Arthur and you were hardly ever quiet.
John Marston:
You were the most beautiful person that John had ever seen in his entire life. You were walking in the middle of town with some man nearly twice your age and John figured you were married to him - some lady victim to a man with money and a ring.
John fantasized about swooping you into his arms and saving you from a life of excruciating monotony. He’d tell the old man to kick the bucket, maybe rob him of whatever cash and valuables he had on him, and let you live your life free with him.
When he overheard you refer to the man as your father John felt absolutely giddy. He took his hat off and tried to smooth his hair down as he moved to approach you and introduce himself.
Your father watched the outlaw walk up to the two of you with a skeptical eye. He was hoping the cowboy would walk past you, but he stopped right before you and held out his hand to you. “John Marston, Miss….?” He prompted.
Your father shut it down immediately. He was so incredibly unamused that he stepped between you and John and shoved his arm down. He told John to basically get lost, but John ignored him and kept his eyes on you.
It was like love at first sight.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his and couldn’t hide the growing blush that heated your cheeks as he ever-so-slightly smiled at you. A small smile that disappeared as your father demanded his attention.
“Now son you get out of here before I get angry. I don’t want you anywhere near my daughter, you got that?”
John wanted to laugh at his vague threat. Who did this guy think he was? John put both hands up to show he meant no harm and took a few steps back.
“Didn’t mean nothing by it, sir,” He shrugged, “Was just being friendly.”
Your father scoffed saying he didn’t want any of John’s kindness and neither would you. You caught John’s eye while your father was speaking and mouthed ‘sorry’ with a sweet smile.
John was smitten immediately. He may seem like a big tough outlaw, but the guy is secretly a huge soft romantic. He was already envisioning your wedding and the type of house you two would build together in the middle of the prairie where no one would bother you and you could leave your respective lives.
He may have been getting ahead of himself.
Your father dragged you away and into the general store, John went off to finish a few more errands. He didn’t think he’d actually ever see you again until the moment he went back to his horse to ride back to camp.
He felt a quick tap on his shoulder and there you were looking at him with a mischievous glint in your eye.
From that moment on the two of you had to meet in secret - away from the watchful eye of your father. John took to sneaking in your bedroom anytime he got the inclination to see you (which was a daily occurrence tbh).
He’d take a stroll around the house to make sure your father’s room lights were off and see if yours were on and you were still awake. Due to his frequent visits, you were always up late waiting for him to call on you.
It was all fun and games until he’s waking up at the ass-crack of dawn to climb back out of your window before your father woke up to find him lounging in your bed. That would be a messy scene.
Dutch Van Der Linde:
Dutch thought he was too old to have to worry about meeting parents and getting the approval to see the lady he fancied. He was an old dog; he liked younger women of course but never the type who were of a higher social standing than him and needed that.
Then he met you.
You swooped into his life with your pretty dresses and sweet words and you didn’t want him at all at first. It made him want you even more.
It’s no secret that rich men are corrupt and willing to meet with anyone to make a quick buck. Your father met with Dutch to provide some intel about a train full of valuables and treasures that were interesting to both parties involved. Your dad wanted a cut of what was on that train provided the Van Der Linde gang robbed it.
Your father wasn’t a good man. He enjoyed money a little too much, and saw you as property more than his daughter. He was overprotective of you - to the point that he refused to ever let you out of his sight for even a second.
You went to every meeting between the two men and at first didn’t give a damn about Dutch. You thought he was handsome, but not the type of man you’d ever be interested in. Not until your father warned you to stay away from men like that.
He even went so far as to comment that he didn’t like the way Dutch looked at you. It fueled something inside of you. The idea of rebelling in such a way. Dutch was attractive, he had money, an exciting life, and most of all it would piss your father off if you courted the gang leader.
The next time there was a meeting between the three of you, you bat your eyelashes and laughed at Dutch’s jokes a little too hard.
Dutch bid you farewell by kissing the knuckles on your hand, and you loved the way your father basically had smoke coming out his ears at the action.
Your father didn’t bring you with him the next time he went to a meeting with Dutch. He locked you in your room, and only unlocked the door to check on you before bed that night.
You were pouting and writing a long sob-story in your diary when you heard a soft tap on the glass of your window.
You pulled back your blinds to see Dutch crouching in the dirt by your window with a wicked grin on his face.
“Can I come in, Darlin’?” He cooed with a sweet voice. You opened your window immediately and he ducked through the frame.
“You didn’t come with your father today, he said you didn’t want to attend the meetings anymore.”
You explain that you’ve basically been kept a prisoner in your room all day since your dad was convinced Dutch was trying to steal you away from him. You grumble out a few curse words after you explain and roll your eyes.
“What if I am tryin’ to steal you away?” Dutch whispered, his eyes dark and sparkling in the lamp light. You didn’t realize how pretty he was.
You bite your lip and smile, trying to keep on a tough act at his words. It’s no use, though. He’s charming, it’s why he is who he is.
“Maybe I’d let you,” You reply in a sultry low tone.
That’s all Dutch needed to hear. He helped you pack a small bag of items to bring with you and he brought you back to the camp where the gang was staying.
On your bed, you left a note telling your father you were running off with a man. Shortly after that Dutch mailed out a post saying he didn’t want to do business with your father anymore. It was all settled.
He stole you away to join him at camp, and that’s where you stayed.
Javier Escuella:
You met Javier by chance one night when you were being harassed by a local lawman after a night out at the theater. Javier rushed to the alley when he heard your shouts ordering the man to stay away from you.
Javier saw red and let his instincts take over him. He grabbed the man by the collar of his very nice shirt and used it to throw him to the mud.
“The lady asked you nicely to leave her alone. Now, I won’t be so nice if I have to ask. So, tell me, do I have to be the one to request you leave her alone?”
The man scrambled in the mud, splattering it on his dress pants and coat, as he picked himself up and ran away.
Javier introduced himself and offered to walk you home. You were a little wary of him at first, what with the guns at his belt and the knife at his thigh, but he assured you that he was not a threat. He just didn’t want you risking getting harassed again on your journey to your house.
You took him up on his offer and as he dropped you off at your front door you gave him a quick, shy peck on the cheek and asked if he wouldn’t mind coming to visit again in the future.
Javier is a blushing bumbling mess but somehow finds the words to agree and see you again later on in the week.
From that point on, this man spoils you in every possible way. He brings you flowers, fine pelts, jewelry (don’t ask where he got it), and little poems he writes or likes just so that you have a little piece of his heart.
Does your father care about all of that? No. He just cares about Javier’s status as an outlaw, a killer. He’s heard the rumors about the Van Der Linde Gang and he refuses to allow one of the members anywhere near you.
Javier is willing to do anything to see you, though.
You started leaving your windows perched open during the warm summer nights, and a low whistle alerted you to a person sitting right outside the glass. Your curtains were fluttering slightly with the wind and so all you saw was the shadow of a figure causing your mind to think of the worst scenarios possible.
You drew a knife from your vanity and clasped it in your hand ready to call for your father, but you heard a familiar voice lowly call out.
“Mi amor?”
You let out a sigh of relief and pulled the curtains back fully to see Javier smiling at you with a bouquet of wild flowers in his hands. “I wanted to see you and I couldn’t wait any longer.”
You asked him to wait outside while you barricaded your bedroom door with a stool, then opened the window wider for him to duck inside.
At first he didn’t really know what to do with himself, he planned to give you the flowers and have a quick kiss before needing to leave -  he did not expect you to usher him inside.
You took the flowers from his hands and placed them on your dresser next to the box of trinkets and gifts Javier has given you before.
You sit on your bed and make a spot for him to sit beside you. He isn’t really sure what the gentlemanly thing to do is in that situation, but just to be safe he sits on the floor by your feet. He’s gazing up at you as if you were the moon itself and doesn’t even try to hide the way his breathing quickens every time your eyes meet.
It becomes routine for him to visit you nearly every night and wait for you to barricade your door before allowing him in. Eventually he gets more comfortable and feels better about sitting next to you on your bed - though he knows it was not the proper thing to do.
He really wanted to court you the proper way, but with your father being so hesitant to know him outside of his status he had to be a little lenient on conventional courting methods.
Charles Smith:
Charles has been sneaking into your room for years.
You were childhood sweethearts, but your father had hated the relationship from the moment you expressed any sort of soft feelings for the boy.
When he first started sneaking in, it was just because your father didn’t want you to be friends. You and Charles were inseparable, so he’d sneak in when he could to read your books and play with your toys while your father was at work.
As you grew older, your feelings grew too.
You developed a strong crush on Charles and he was completely oblivious to it. At first, since you didn’t know how to express your feelings, you pushed him away and told him to stop visiting you.
Charles was crushed when you essentially told him to get lost. He couldn’t understand what caused your change of heart - he figured maybe your father had finally gotten to you and you realized you were too rich, too pretty to be his friend.
Charles stopped climbing through your bedroom windows and started only seeing you in public spaces or whenever you took your horse out for a ride.
Eventually, though, even those interactions dwindled and Charles stopped seeing you altogether.
It broke you when you didn’t speak with Charles anymore. You thought it better that way. He couldn’t find out your feelings for him - especially since you were certain he didn’t feel the same way.
Years go by, you stop seeing Charles even in fleeting moments. You heard he ran off and was living alone in the wilderness.
It was your fault, you thought. You pushed him away during his time of need and now there was no way of knowing what became of him. Whether he was alive or dead.
You grow older, your heart growing cold and calloused, and you never really recovered from the hurt you put yourself through.
One night, you’re a passenger on a train taking you deeper into the west of America when there was a loud commotion at one end of the passenger car you were in.
You put down your novel and see a group of masked men with weapons demanding valuables from every patron they pass by. They were slowly moving down the aisle, approaching where you were sitting at an alarmingly fast pace. You couldn’t think of a way out of the situation without giving away every last bit of money you had on you.
That is, until one of the masked men gets to you and instead of the harsh demands and pointed threats you expected to hear, you hear your name being whispered softly.
You look up, skin ablaze with fear and eyes watering. Through your tears you can see a familiar set of dark brown eyes peering down at you as if you were a ghost.
“Ch…Charles?” You squint. You questioned if it was just a mirage, a trick of your brain due to fear, but there was no doubting it. Those were Charles’ eyes.
He softly grabbed you by the arm and helped you out of your seat.
“Come with me,” He whispered as he pushed you through the aisle towards the exit. “I promise nothing will happen to you.”
It was stupid, but you blindly agreed as he led you out of the train and onto the dusty earth.
Charles and you caught up as the rest of his posse finished robbing the passengers of the train. You learned that he had been taken in by the Van Der Linde gang and was making a living as an outlaw. After seeing what you did on the train, that part of his story checked out.
You caught up with him as well, you informed him of your father’s fate and how his will left everything to you. How you regretted pushing him away as a teenager and how you wished he could forgive you.
“I never even hated you for it,” He said softly, “There is nothing to forgive, it’s how the world is sometimes. Cruel.”
You tried to explain your feelings at the time, but the embarrassment of it never let you fully explain.
Charles offered to take you home, but you wanted nothing more than to continue catching up with him and learning about his new life, his new family. Charles took you back to camp, and you ended up staying there with him for a few weeks. (For a fee of course, as Dutch had so cleverly thought up)
Your feelings for Charles rose to the surface once again, and you weren’t sure when or if there would ever be a time to explain how madly in love with him you were.
Sean MacGuire:
The first time y’all met was when he was sneaking through your window late one night.
Dutch had given Sean a vague plan about robbing a local lawmaker’s house while the man was scheduled to be two towns over for some political business. Dutch figured it would be a quiet, simple mission to grab some extra loot and not worry about being caught.
Sean paced around your house a few times after midnight the day your father left, and when he didn’t see any lights on or movements he figured it was safe to go in.
He checked a few key points of entry, but the windows on the ground-floor were locked and he didn’t want to risk leaving any evidence of there being a break-in for when the lawmaker came back.
Sean noticed that a window on the second floor was open the tiniest sliver, he’d be able to use a dagger to wedge it open wide enough to slip his hand in and open it fully.
He climbed up some vines growing on the side of the wood paneling and pulled his dagger to wedge it open. Once he got himself inside, he turned towards the window to close it.
His entire body stiffened when he heard the metallic click of a pistol being cocked from behind him.
“Now I’ll only say this one time, Mister, you need to get outta here before I blow a hole in you and make a mess all over these clean floors.” The threat was serious, Sean knew that, but he couldn’t help but perk up at the sweet sound of your voice as you told him you were going to shoot him if he didn’t leave.
He put his hands up, dropping the dagger he had, and turned to face you slowly. The house was dark. Shadows danced across your face and shielded your eyes making you look lethal with the gun pointed at his chest. Sean thought you were beautiful.
“I mean no harm, Miss. Just business ‘s all,” Sean gave you a toothy smile which only made you narrow your eyes.
You told him you were going to give him one chance to leave and he’d only stay if he had a death wish.
Sean wanted nothing more than to stay with you and use whatever methods he could to woo you, but he was familiar with the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice. He was scheduled to meet the gods above if he didn’t slip back out that window and into the night.
After he left, he was already planning the ways he could meet you again - under more favorable circumstances of course. He decided to visit you the next day with a peace offering and a smile.
Once dawn broke over the horizon, painting the world in a golden orange light, Sean was already up and out of camp heading to your large house on the hill.
He knocked on the door and you answered after a few minutes. Your hair was messy from sleep and your nightgown was covered by a long robe that was hastily thrown on to save your modesty.
“What the hell?” You grumbled and looked at Sean as if he had grown three heads. “Either you are the stupidest man on the planet for comin’ back here, or you truly do have a death wish. If it’s the latter give me a second to grab the gun.”
Sean was in love immediately.
“I wanted to apologize for last night. I never woulda thought ‘bout stealing from a man with such a pretty woman living under his roof.” He handed you a small box saying that it was a piece offering. Inside was a large silver coin and a note that said ‘thanks for not shooting me’.
You rolled your eyes and scoffed, but pocketed the coin and note nonetheless. You invited him in, but warned him any funny business would not end favorably for him. He only shot you a coy smile and promised that he was only coming as a gentleman, not an outlaw.
The two of you grew as friends at first but once things seemed to grow more romantic, you had to start sneaking around and avoiding your father finding out about the relationship and how it started.
Sean was glad he got the practice sneaking in your window that first night, though, because it was common practice while the two of you had to keep your romantic relations a secret.
Sadie Adler:
Sadie was a shell of herself when you met her.
She was still mourning the loss of her husband and trying to become accustomed to her new life as a member of the Van Der Linde Gang when you stumbled into her one day.
She was just starting to get back on her feet and was at the tailors in town when you strolled in with your fancy clothes and styled hair.
She wasn’t intimidated per say, but she felt a little inadequate in comparison. What with her ragged hand-me-downs from Miss Grimshaw and her few coins that she saved to buy a new linen shirt - you were like royalty compared to her.
You approached her first at the tailors. You asked if she had been in town long as you didn’t recognize her, where she came from, where her husband was (assuming she was married). Sadie didn’t know how to answer all the questions you threw in her direction.
You broke down her walls, though. You bought the shirt that she wanted and even invited her to tea with you at your house to talk about what had been plaguing her the last few weeks.
She didn’t want it to help, but Sadie could physically feel the relief flood her chest as she stopped holding on to her emotions and let them flow freely. A friendship between the two of you grew quickly and rapidly.
Then, it grew to be a little more.
Sadie had been working on jobs with Arthur and gaining her confidence back. In doing so, she finally got the nerve to kiss you goodbye one night when she was getting ready to go back to camp.
She gazed at you nervously after she did it. She couldn’t figure out what your expression meant - whether she went too far, or if you even liked her back in that way.
Tears slipped from your eyes as you looked up at her and grabbed her cheeks, shoving your lips against hers. Her kiss was sweet and gentle, but yours was aggressive and needy. You didn’t realize she felt the same way about you, and knowing that she did created a swell in your heart that never went away.
After your first kiss, you had to keep your relationship on the downlow. Your father knew that the two of you were friends (he hardly liked even that), if he found out that y’all were girlfriends he would separate you for good.
Sadie came up with the plan to visit you during the day as a good honest lady of society, but at night she would climb up through your window to enjoy spending time with you as a partner instead.
Friend by day, girlfriend by night.
Sadie slipped through your window every other night, quieter than a shadow when she came in. Sometimes you’d turn around and she would just be getting in and it would make you squeak a little as it startled you.
She kissed you to keep you quiet when that happened, though (teehee)
Sadie would spend hours with you at night. You’d help her brush her hair when there were missions she was on that took days and she wasn’t able to care for her locks. You’d let her borrow your nightgowns if she ever wanted to stay and relax in your bed until dawn.
The two of you would hold each other and talk until the mourning doves sang their melancholy songs in the early hours of the morning.
<><><><>
1K notes · View notes
undercoverpena · 1 month
Text
iv. a date missed is a date lost
joel miller x f!reader | chapter four of honey stained hands
Tumblr media
chapter summary: when you don't make it back from patrol, joel doesn't think for a second about not going to find you.
wordcount: 4.8k warnings: typical canon-angst/grief. angst. canon-level violence (desc of injuries and blood, but nothing insane). reader is a bad ass. injury/comfort — and from Joel. joel calls reader honey (because she bakes). mentions of brief smut. this pair are together but won't admit it. joel is pissed and we love him for it. talks of readers grief (you lose someone from before but not many deets) an: for those who waited, thank you. to those who have just stumbled here: hello, you don't need to take off your shoes.
Tumblr media
In time, daylight begins its gradual retreat, casting shorter shadows and making flashlights more of a necessity in the nighttime.
The blankets of white persist, marking winter’s icy caress across rooftops, the ground and anything else it can layer itself against.
At one point, fairy lights go up and then come back down. Briefly twinkling like scattered stars before eventually returning to their storage—time ticking on, days seeping into weeks, then months.
There comes a moment when the snow falls heavier, then thins, only to fall again in abundance, dousing the world as far as Joel's eyes can see.
But, the biggest change Joel notices, is that he begins to dream a lot less of you. No longer a distant fantasy but a tangible presence beside him, a reality woven into the fabric of his days.
He doesn’t need to think you up, you’re already there. Curled against him—facing him—hand under your cheek as you breathe in and out, soft and measured. Like this, you don't appear as a threat to the world, but he knows when awake what you’re capable of.
Just like he knows, deep down, this isn’t just neighbourly friends or nightcaps on the porch—or better yet, occasional sex to pass the time. Even if it all began as such.
It may have started as a carnal need, a teeth-sinking, nail-digging desperation. All akin to a time when he was a teenager, both of you waiting for the door to click shut behind Ellie—as she heads to a friend’s house—before he’s on you, pulling a giggle, a soft shriek of his name before you’re scraping and stripping him until he’s hardening in your hand, mouth or against your thigh.
Lately, it’s soft brushes of thumbs, mouth grazing over exposed skin and whimpers of his name; now, it’s a look—a quiet retreat, slow mornings and lazy nights. Your fingers find purpose on his cheek, eyes seeking his as he buries himself deep, making your mouth part in an O—just as he always does.
Too good for me, Miller. You’re too sweet for me, honey.
A joke. A tease that should be getting old, but isn’t.
Then, your things found themselves with his—or his with yours.
A jumper on his floor, his shirt hung on the handle of your bedroom; his guitar relocating as he does, sometimes against his bedroom wall, and sometimes against yours.
It became morning walks to the pen as he left for patrol and him meeting you at the gate, each time a little different. There are evenings of him arriving home to find you there, cooking—Ellie next to you, nodding, listening to instruction; then there are those where he sits in solitude, counting seconds until he thinks he can invite himself over.
There was even a progression to how the two of you left the bar, when things began to mean more. At first, you had just walked next to him. The next you brushed your fingers against his and the third he found you leaning into him, following him, not even pretending to go home and choosing to follow him inside his.
Truthfully, he’s not sure there’s a reason the two of you live in different houses—even if they’re side by side. Pretending there’s no concrete explanation, even if it lingers in the back of his mind. It rears its head when the night creaks in, rotting in a corner of his mind, a thought he should ponder over, pluck strings to until it makes sense—until he rationalises whether he can do it. Love, that is.
He’s ‘changed’, according to Tommy. Although, he’s not sure what that means. It’ll add to the pile, one he has to sort through but never does. Content with it, the things that weigh him down, deep down knowing he’s worthy of it—because his hands are stained even if they don’t appear as such.
Then, you’ll do something. Hand him a tin of shortbread, a smile—all wicked, and unwilling to be read—spreading and spreading. “It’s not a gift—it means nothing.”
“Whatever y’tell yourself.”
And then he’s confused all over again.
Whether it’s possible, whether he’s earned it—deserving of another chance. A twinge of pain when he remembers long hair against his neck in Boston, and the way her hands were as blotted as his.
You’re not her, but you’re smudged in your own way. Made of something entirely different, yet born from a similar pain he can see. You rose from the marshes, bones hardened thanks to the branches—grew strong from the soil and dirt. You’re one with nature in a way that made him wonder if the wind talked to you.
A thing he admires, the same way he does about a lot of things.
He supposes it would be easier, and simpler.
Not just loving you but having you here. You and your fire that warms all it touches, your kind disposition that you pretend not to have, but it rolls from you in plenty.
Less traipsing from home to home, less of him misplacing his things amongst your counters and sitting in your kitchen as you bake, only to take the treats with him next door, his fingers inside yours.
And, even if two of you are unwilling to put a name to the thing they are. We’re adults, Joel. We don’t need that, do we? It wouldn’t be terrible—a thing he rather likes. But, he likes it more that you don’t feel the need for it. Because in an ocean of complexity, you’re the thing that makes sense—the one thing he understands.
Doesn’t need to turn over much except what’re you thinking, what ticks behind your glazed eyes and whether the seconds you linger at the red toolbox are shortening or if he’s just becoming used to it—
“Joel, is that—oh my fuck…”
Your hands grasp at the VHS in his hand—fingers turning it over, that line appearing on your forehead that tells him you’re thinking, catching up to the actuality before it’s been told to you.
“Evenin’ to you too—”
“—What did you trade for this?”
Shrugging, he shoves his hand into his jeans—the ones that have grown tighter, barely able to fit the same hand that it used to, comfortably.
“Joel.”
Scratching the back of his neck, he sighs. “Y’think you wanna watch it with me?”
Licking your lips, you place it down on the counter, face blank, fucking unreadable. “What, like a date?”
Shrugging, he smiles. “Would that be terrible?”
“No, suppose it wouldn’t be.”
Nudging you, he likes how you paint him in a laugh. Something rich, warm.
“I’ve got patrol—but, can freshen up, come round after?” you suggest, hand on his chest. “You don’t sleep without me anyway.”
And he nods. Already mentally beginning to count down, watching you smile, ticking his jaw from side to side.
“I’d wipe that.”
“What?”
Licking your lips, you smirk. “The smile—people will think you’re soft.”
“No, they won’t.”
“Will if I begin spreading it.”
He just pinches you on the ass.
Tumblr media
In the whole of his life, there have been only six times when Joel’s blood ran cold.
An expression he'd never understood until the first time it happened.
He had never expected the saying to mean a chill blasting down his spine. Or that sounds and scents would blur to nothing as his stomach twisted, just like he never anticipated the prickling sensation spreading across his skin like a thousand icy needles and rendering everything else inconsequential in comparison.
Tommy had been the first, all little, barely the same height as the kitchen counter. Nose bloody, swollen upper lip and a look on his face that made Joel want to snap arms and break skulls. He had settled for breaking the nose of the kid who had picked a fight with his baby brother.
The second was far worse—the first time Sarah first got ill. All little coughs, splutters—a temperature hotter than a stove, harsh cries and soft pleading whimpers that she couldn’t articulate or describe. A helplessness he hadn’t been able to explain or shake, not in the days after, or the weeks and months. In truth, Joel isn’t sure he ever slept quite the same.
The third was that night. When it dawned, when it hammered into him like a thousand needles and pierced every single part of who he was. When it broke him. Snapped him. Made him come apart and yet still exist—kneeling, the blood growing gummy and cold. Leaving her there, not taking his baby girl with him. A part of his heart, soul and reason left there in tall grass as he was forced to put one foot in front of the other.
The fourth had been when Tommy had left—when he’d realised it. When he saw the life he had and wondered what the fuck had happened. It bled horribly into the fifth. A dread as he saw the mark, the bite—the realisation she would be taken too: Tess. The new normal he’d made coming undone too, seams burst, emptiness spreading, rising and rising until he felt nothing but fire and ice simultaneously.
Ellie in that hospital had been the sixth. Joel hadn’t even known he could experience another. His heart was not made of iron like he tried to convince himself when he was younger. A tightness that didn’t resolve until he held her in his arms, till he kept her safe, until he blazed through the building ripping and tearing until her pulse was against his fingers.
He’d never expected to feel it a seventh.
Had thought his cards had all been dealt. A person could surely only have so many chances at having things to love, to care for—to have it all received back too.
There’s not a single sound when Tommy tells him. Informs him.
There’s just ringing. It douses everything else, his fingers rubbing against his thumb, his knees cracking before his head catches up to the fact he’s standing, fingers clenching and unclenching.
A fire rising, not smothered—not willing to be snuffed out by action and thinking. Not as he sees the words being said, confirmed.
Because deep down he’d known what was coming before they were muttered. Had felt them.
He’d been aware your plate was no longer warm, steam no longer rising, food all but congealing, cold—practically unedible. His eyes had been pinned to the clock on the wall, to the way the big hand nudged the smaller one on.
He hates that he hesitates.
That he remains, feet planted to the floorboards of his home. Eyes flicking to Ellie, to this person he swears to protect, to be there for, a second chance amongst a graveyard of mistakes—
“If you don’t go after her, I’ll never forgive you.”
Strong words. But then, she’s strong.
He’s seen it when she talks to you, all hushed whispers and confessed secrets. Sees it in her shoulders even when she curls into your side for a half-hug, your arm sliding around, head resting on the top of hers.
Because you mean something to Ellie too.
Which is why he can’t remain—shouldn’t. All unwilling to let anyone talk him into waiting, for a plan to be devised, to be drawn up and communicated.
Because you wouldn’t. There’d be nothing that’d keep you back, from going, from doing.
We’re doers, me and you, Miller. We don’t wait around for people to decide, we act.
Each step seems to echo that with his sorrow—with that knot inside of him. The corners of his eyes narrow as anger shakes through him, hammering and solidifying itself in some corner of him—weighing him down, making his boots dig more intently into the snow.
Because you were right—knuckles brushing over his cheek when the two of you shared a sliver of what happened to you that day. It had changed him, that birthday all those years ago. A brief glance at his watch, the one he still wears, never forgotten, never fixed. It compelled him to action, a force that surged within him, driving him forward, taking and taking until his knuckles burst through flesh—becoming it, a doer, a thing which took and survived.
Maybe that’s why this keeps happening.
Why good keeps being taken from him? It’s never thieved, never sneakily tugged from under his nose, but rather openly and brazenly taken. It’s this that forces his hands to clutch the reins tighter as the cool wind whips past him, tracing the tracks, envisioning the exact route you would have taken. Only coming to a stop when the snow becomes undisturbed, dismounting with a groan.
It makes a lump rise in his throat. One that doesn’t vanish when he begins tying the horse to a tree—patting her and stroking her. Because he’s too old for this. Too old for the caring, the chasing, the losing, and the fear. His palm against the animal, feeling the heartbeat inside, grounding him for just a moment.
But, even if he is, he’s not letting it, them or whatever take you.
Not as he pulls on gloves and tilts his neck until it cracks. Not as he thinks about the last time he was out here with you—a treat, you’d called it: we’ve swapped partners for the day. Don’t make me go alone, Miller. As if he ever would. A thing which earned him a different kind of gasp when your spine met a tree trunk, gloves fingers sliding through his hair, a laugh there on your lips—desperate to greet the air, if not for his lips smothering it away, silencing it.
He replays it.
Desperately wanting for nothing more than for that laugh, that smile—that snark and its bite. Joel wants bark under his nails and for it to be finding a home under yours too—a reminder, a badge of honour. He wants nature to attempt to cover up the sound of his skin slapping against yours; wants the wind to try and compete with the moans he extracts from your throat.
He wants.
He wants.
He wants.
Hand tightening around the gun, he swallows—vision whitening in the corner of his eyes as his jaw tightens.
A figurative storm cloud rising above him, grey and thundering, cracking as he hears you say don’t sleep without me anyway on repeat. Over and over. That smirk carved into him, scraped in with sheer gut and will.
Then, he replays Tommy. The words which are supposed to bring comfort, but just bring more rage. “She’s good, Joel” doesn’t bring you home, the same as “He’s good—one I know can pull his weight”, because is he as good as him? As good as you?
Is the man who is meant to have your back as much of a monster as him—as the two of you?
He learns in half a mile that he wasn’t. An answer left, presented—all lit up in scarlet. Neck snapped. Anger let loose on the man who had smiled at him around and about. Gone. Left to decompose and erode.
Joel wonders what it says about him that he feels nothing when he removes the weapons from the man’s belt. Taking what he can before leaving, and continuing on.
At each step, he hopes you’re as good as he thinks you are. Each breath heaved from Joel’s chest he hoped you were still beating, it hanging in the frigid air in front of him, a visible reminder of the feeling he had forgotten about—allowed himself to forget—fear.
How it isn't just about dread, but rather the erosion of faith—a corrosion of belief, leaving him almost gasping for air. There’s a curse there too, simmering on his tongue, desperate to be released and breathed into the oncoming night as he ties another thread around an extended branch. Doing so every so many steps, a guide, a trail for someone else to follow—just in case, forever just in fucking case.
His arm bumps into a tree he passes, one adorned with delicate frost, stood like a sentinel, like the rest around it. Its branches reach out in frozen pleas to the heavens above as snowflakes descend from his bump, a thing falling in a way not too dissimilar to the unrest inside of him, stirring and swirling and all but fucking churning.
Jaw gritted, he swallows. Readying himself to move, to force himself on when he sees it, spots it. The thing you’d once showed him all intentionally.
From the outside, the cabin looks like it usually does.
Worn, broken—far less a structure and more a ruin. But, he knows without opening the door it’s hiding things, concealing unfamiliars and protecting traitors. He can tell.
And it is when he steps inside. Just none of them are breathing.
A full house of horrors. A museum of a fight that hadn’t gone the way, the three he finds in the larger room, would have wanted. One slumped against the wall, a head wound seeping and congealing. The other two lie askew, limbs twisted in ways they shouldn't be. There's a quiet chaos to the scene, a silent testament to a struggle fought with everything at stake.
He checks them all the same, dispatching, covering his back—stepping carefully over loose floorboard and limbs, eyes scanning, all desperately seeking.
Deep down, he’s relieved at the sight of the fallen attackers. A grim confirmation you did not go down without a fight. But another part, one that has been growing with each passing second, is filled with dread, more so as he moves further into the cabin, each step heavier than the last.
The air is stale, tinged with the metallic scent of blood. A scent he's all too familiar with. Following, only to find the next room there’s nothing. Not a thing. Nothing but the door—the one you’d mumbled about being difficult to open—is banging in the breeze. A thud, over and over, like the cabin has a heartbeat that wishes to ring out, and out, and out.
That’s when he finds your note. The singular reason he can hold out hope you’re still alive. Chicken-scratch-proof into pages of a book, your knife stamped as a signature to the backdoor:
compromised, do not look fo—
Joel has never been much of a listener.
Not as he charges outside, not as he sweeps around the new ground with his weapon at the ready. He barely has to look far, before he spots something—a thing out of the ordinary in a clump out at the back.
You. Joel finds you.
You are all but surrounded by clumped white and cherry red, sprawled out on the ground, spots of dark beneath you—a gash on your forehead, blood smeared across your face. The contrast is so rich that it could almost be described as poetic. Somewhat romantic, he supposed. That’s if the poets lingered on the snowflakes hanging from your lashes, instead of the gash to your forehead and the swelling forming along your neck.
But you're breathing. Barely.
His teeth bite at the tips of his gloves, slapping fingers to your pulse, finding it, weak but there, before brushing his knuckles and finding cold skin making him hiss.
You’re smart. A reckoning, a feral monstrous thing that is hard to describe to someone who hasn’t seen you take down a soul twice your size.
Joel liked to tell himself he kept you around for that reason—the fire, the poison woven into your veins that injects into whoever is foolish enough to cross you. But Joel keeps you around for the person you accidentally show him—the one that makes him feel human, less of a beast and someone who has taken, taken, taken.
It’s your grit, your cunning nature, which is why it’s taken him so long to find you. His chest tightened when he was greeted by the scent of iron, all thick—collecting in rooms where you’d fought tooth and nail.
Now, he was standing in the cold piles carved by knees and elbows, your slumped frame, curled as close together—defeated, likely having been convinced you’d never be found before the cold tried to take you as its victim.
But, you’re no victim. No woman who wishes to repent for how you’ve survived or the things you’ve done to breathe easier.
It’s why Joel lifts you, pulls you close—face curling into his neck from the position you fall into, as he’s chilled to the bone by your cold.
“If y’can hear me, hold on.”
He adjusts, even as his back winces—something pinching, hurting, throbbing in the position he’s in on the snow. Hating his age about as much as he hates his bones.
That’s when he whispers your name. Does so like it’s a secret, a thing the forest and the things inside of it aren’t privileged to hear. A thing entrusted to him that he wishes no one else to hear or ever know.
“M’here.”
It’s a mumble. A murmur. The softness barely escapes through clenched, almost chattering teeth—but then your flashes flutter, coated in flakes that shimmy down to your cheek as you attempt to open them.
“Eyes on me—there you are.”
“Stop being c-cute.”
Grimacing, he watches you try to smile—weak, it barely reaching your cheeks, never mind your eyes. “Don’t think anyone's ever called me cute, honey.”’
“Never t-thought someone be storm-m-ing through a forest for me—first time for…”
Looking down, he sees your lashes fluttering, eyes struggling to stay open. Lips still parted around the next word that had yet to fall.
Tapping your cheek, he feels how cold you are. Even here. In nothing but warmth and safety. And he hates that he has to ignore how concerning that is. How hard it is to swallow that you are.
“Don’t stop talkin’ to me now. Might like the silence.”
He feels you laugh. Vibrating against him. More a hiccup than a real laugh, but it’s something.
“I fought—”
“Know you did.”
Nodding, you swallow, cough spluttering in the back of your throat.
"Y' did... y' did real good," he assures, voice thick, chest aching at the sight of you—so strong, yet looking so small and vulnerable against him.
"Did... did I get them?"
Your words are slurred, consciousness fleeting—tiredness trying to sneak you away from him.
"All of 'em," he assures, his grip tightening around you, "Every last one."
He can't be sure if you hear him, your eyes fluttering shut once more.
But he keeps talking, filling the silence with a low, steady stream of words. Comforting nothings, promises of safety, of warmth, of a congealed meal and the VHS. Even as your grip on his hand slackens, your breaths become more shallow, more sporadic. Even when he feels a cold dread creep into his heart, he pushes it away, and focuses on you—on keeping you with him.
"Stay with me," he murmurs, adjusting you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you groan against him when he lifts you with him, "Just a little walk, alright."
The snow crunches under his boots as he carries you back up the path he came, leaving a trail behind. Even in finding you, he knows victory tastes bitter on his tongue—a price too high to pay.
"Y'need t’make it, can’t watch that movie alone."
You snort. It is very much there, before it’s buried—engulfed under a whine of pain as you stand up fully.
Can’t. It’s one word, but it’s louder than all the others you’ve spoken, shared—and given. So, he wraps his arm securely around your waist, leading you, taking as much of your weight as he can.
Joel holds you, clutches you against him—a brief flowering of memories from doing something so similar for Ellie. A thought which brings fresh anger, a bitterness to his tongue. Holding tighter because of it, grips you closer—as though his life depends on it.
Because in a way, it does—a part of him acknowledging that now.
More so as you groan, as you plead to stop in harsh whispers as you grip him weakly, as your foot flops occasionally, legs tired, aching.
It’s not until he’s managed to bring you inside, do you murmur again. Nothing full, nothing understood until he’s removed his coat and wrapped you in it, helped lean you against a wall do you say anything more than a groan.
“Tired.”
Hands encased in his, Joel warms them, as the moon bleeds tendrils in through slats and the half-made window. “I know. C'mon, stay with me.”
Your eyes flutter open, glazed and barely focusing on him. "I'm...trying," you whisper, your voice barely audible.
"Good," he murmurs, stroking your hair back from your forehead. "That's all I need. Just...keep trying."
His head turns, looking through the window, seeing the placement of the moon, and wondering if it’ll be morning before someone comes—before someone follows and helps. Just mumbling about anything, joking it’s the most he’s talked, doing so in a voice that mocks your own, doing something, anything to try and keep you awake—keep you warm.
"I should've been there. I should've..."
He doesn't finish the sentence. Doesn't need to.
The regret, the guilt, it's all there in his voice, in his eyes. And you squeeze his hand feebly, your eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze. "Not...not your fault, Joel."
He nods, swallowing hard. "I know. I just...I wish I could've..."
“He made it. This place,” you begin, voice low, barely a breath.
Your eyes focused on some floorboard, not leaving, unwilling to lift to him, even as his head tilts.
“Came out all the time with that red f-fucking toolbox,” you continue, swallowing, wincing as you use your shoulder to itch your cheek.
“He was just a neighbour, a person I knew the first name of. Then he was a-all I had, a friend, then family—a b-brother. I’d… I’d never… and then he was just… gone. Survived all those years, survived all of that, only for s-sleep to take him as soon as we got here.”
Your eyes lift, haunted by sorrow, by exhaustion and something so much more.
And he has no words—not enough for this, none enough to make any of this make sense or feel better.
“I saw him. I—I know he’s gone, know it wasn’t real, but I just closed my eyes, just so I could see him again. And then…”
Your words trail off, a choked sob taking their place as you curl into yourself.
A sound so full of brokenness it makes something inside of him shatter a little, more so when Joel feels you pull your hands free, all rough and worn, clutching around yourself, at the material of his coat—gripping so tight it’s almost as if you’re trying to hold yourself together.
“You think he’d be mad that you saved me—that I’m g-glad you saved me?”
Swallowing, he cups your cheek with his palm. “I think if he’s anything like you, he’d be glad you fought.”
Nodding, you smile, the base of your palm wiping your tears as your lip wobbles. “Can y-you hold me?”
Nodding, he shuffles, and buries a groan in his throat as he manoeuvres a man his age shouldn’t, until he can, until he is. Having you as close as you’ll humanly fucking let him.
Which is how you’re found—a cavalry of those from Jackson, a mixture of surprise and relief etched into their faces when they land on the two of you.
When he suspects they land their eyes on you, and realise, like he did, that you’re the owner of the destruction in the room next to you all.
Tumblr media
CHAPTER FIVE ->
AN: next chapter will be quicker i promise, but no strict deadline on when as posting / stepping back into this was a lot.
361 notes · View notes
ohisms · 1 year
Text
↪     𝑫𝑰𝑹𝑬 𝑺𝑰𝑻𝑼𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺  .    (   a  collection  of  dire / urgent situation  sentence  &  action  starters .   adjust  phrasing  +  ʳᵉᵛᵉʳˢᵉ  as  necessary .   )
𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 :
hide .   hide now .
shh !!  there’s somebody in the house .
i’m not gonna hurt you !  see ?  look ,  i’m putting down the  [ weapon ] .
[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?!
you’re being followed ,  pretend you know me .
stop , stop !  just put the  [ weapon ]  down !
drive ,  just drive fast !
you seriously think i could’ve done this ?
can you walk ?  i need you to walk for me ,  okay ?
let me handle it ,  just go !
what was your plan ??  you could’ve gotten yourself killed !
you’re just going to leave me here ?!
[ name ] ,  can you hear me ?  get out of there !
you knew and you didn’t tell me ?!
don’t you know how dangerous this is ?
you’re not going to shoot me .
move and you die .
i’m gonna come back for you ,  do you hear me ?
we have to stop the bleeding .
can you see how many fingers i’m holding up ?
i just want to go home !
don’t move a fucking muscle .
if it weren’t for you ,  we wouldn’t be in this mess .
i almost DIED back there ,  and you’re laughing ?
you’re only making this worse for yourself .
you think this is a joke ?
if i go down ,  i want you to run .
we’re gonna die ,  so what’s the point ?
this was the ONE thing i told you not to do .
i can’t promise we’re going to make it out of here .
where’s your first - aid kit ?!
just calm down and find your phone ,  we need to call the police .
someone’s been stalking me .
just listen to me for once !
i didn’t think you had it in you .
put the gun down ,  and kick it over here .
we can’t stick around here ,  let’s go .
kiss me before we die .
do whatever you need to do ,  hurry .
i can’t breathe ,  i can’t -
please ,  please  -  let me in ,  there’s someone -
i’m gonna give you one last chance .
you have to believe me ,  i didn’t do this !
run ,  and don’t look back .
this is real ,  i’m real .  look at me .
take this .  it’ll keep you safe .
follow my instructions very closely .
put your hands where i can see them .
you can’t just let me die !
i think  …  i think i need a doctor .
we need to get out of here ,  come on .
no ,  this isn’t it .  we’re getting you out of this .
you panicking is not going to help us right now .
𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :
[ GETAWAY ]  sender acts as a getaway driver for receiver .
[ MEDIC ]  sender arrives on receiver’s doorstep ,  badly bleeding .
[ HIDE ]  sender and receiver hide from a threat together .
[ HUSH ]  sender clasps a hand over receiver’s mouth to silence them .
[ DRAG ]  sender physically hauls receiver to safety .
[ RIGHTS ]  sender calls receiver from a police precinct .
[ REALITY ]  sender helps receiver through an episode of derealization .
[ SHELTER ]  sender and receiver must find shelter from a storm  .
[ ARMED ]  sender brandishes a  [ gun / knife ]  at receiver .
[ CRASH ]  sender and receiver survive a  [ car / bike ]  crash together .
[ SEARCH ]  sender barges into the hospital demanding to see receiver .
[ BACKUP ]   sender calls receiver panicking after committing a crime .
[ CORNERED ]  sender menacingly backs receiver into a corner .
[ UNEXPECTED ]  receiver comes home to find sender already inside .
[ BREATHE ]  sender helps receiver get through a panic attack .
[ BADGE ]  sender and receiver flee from the cops together .
[ STRANDED ]  sender and receiver become stranded in the woods .
[ EMBRACE ]  sender kisses receiver thinking it’ll be the last time .
[ STRANGER ]  sender can’t remember who receiver is after an injury .
[ TOKEN ]  sender gives receiver a lucky charm before they go into battle .
[ CHOICE ]  receiver has to choose between sparing their own life or the sender’s .
4K notes · View notes
jenosbliss · 5 months
Text
🌷 ⌇ nct dream ! and small acts of love
Tumblr media
pairing. gn!reader x nctdream | genre. fluff | wc. 1.4k | warning. none
Tumblr media
MARK. leaving small notes
Everyday you find post-it’s all around the place with small notes like ‘I love you’ ‘You are amazing!’ ‘My pretty y/n’ ‘Smile :)’ ‘<3’ ‘Eat your meals on time’ ‘You did great today’ ‘I miss you’ ‘dude, you’re the best’
It’s not a mystery as to who left them inside your book, on the mirror, inside your closet, on the back of your phone, in your bag and all around the house because only one person can do this and that’s Mark Lee.
There are times when he leaves before you wake up and comes back after you have already fallen asleep. There are days when both of you could only talk through texts and days when you can’t talk at all due to busy schedules. At such times it pains him to see you still waiting for him, wanting to talk to him, understanding him, caring for him.
Hence, he decided to leave these small notes around the house and on your things which will give you a feeling of him always being with you. With these small one-liner sentences he tries to express all his love for you but these small notes can’t do justice to his love for you that’s why there is always a note reading “I’ll be back soon!” when you return back home.
Tumblr media
RENJUN. giving unexpected gifts
Whenever he goes out there’s always something that reminds him of you, maybe a small rock which looked different from others lying covered in sand at the sea or a wildflower growing on the side of pavement, he brings it for you.
Renjun’s gifts range from expensive perfume to roadside flowers but one thing they have in common is that they’re always unexpected. You have always asked him not to give you so many gifts but he just can’t help himself from doing that. How can he stop himself from not buying the bouquet of your favourite flowers or your favourite ice cream when he happens to cross by those shops?
Some days he surprises you with the paintings or sketches he made for you and his chest fills with happiness and pride as he watches you cherish them. He just loves you so much that for him giving these unexpected gifts has become a portrayal of his love towards you.
With this he feels that he can make you feel special, cherished and loved. He thinks words can never express how much he loves you. That's why giving you gifts is his small act of love for you.
Tumblr media
JENO. giving a massage
Jeno is someone who believes that ‘I love you’ isn’t the only expression for confessing his undying love for you and there are a number of ways he can show you how much he loves which includes writing songs about you to making breakfast for you on some days.
But the thing he always does is massaging your back and feet after a long, stressful, exhausting week or day at work. He skilfully massages your soft skin while you ramble about all the extra work your boss is putting you through this week or how stressed you are about the new project.
He listens to everything you say carefully while working his hands on your back magically which makes you relaxed and forget about the tiring days as you fall asleep peacefully.
Jeno never misses to put his thoughts on your struggles at work and comforting you by telling that you always have him, that he’s your constant of love and happiness. These little massage sessions end with you falling asleep and him peppering kisses on your face and pulling you close before falling asleep himself.
Tumblr media
HAECHAN. initiating skinship
Everyone knows that Haechan loves skinship and gets clingy to the person he adores dearly. And you’re no exception to that. Not only is his love language physical touch but it is also one of his ways of showing love to you.
At this point in your relationship you are immune to him suddenly popping out of nowhere, holding your face in between his palms, peppering your face with sweet kisses and then getting busy with his own work.
If you’re out on a day, he won’t let go of your hand. If you are sleeping he has to have his leg thrown over you and face buried in your neck. If you’re cooking he’ll be having his arms wrapped around your waist, leaving butterfly kisses on your neck and just listening to you talk about your day or talking about his day.
This is his small act of love for you which might be very random or common to anyone else but for him it’s a way of telling that he’s always there for you, keeping you close to him makes him feel warm and he tries to make you feel safe with him. His kisses and touches are always soft and a subtle way of him saying that he’ll always protect you.
Tumblr media
JAEMIN. cooking your favourite meals
Jaemin loves you and is never shy away in telling you that either verbally or physically, if he can, he will confess how much he loves you every minute of the day but that seems quite impossible right?
Therefore he sought another way to tell you that and that is by cooking for you, your favourite dishes every once in a while. There are numerous days when you wake up to the sweet smell of pancakes being prepared by him.
Or coming back home to the dinner table full of delicacies prepared by him. On holidays he doesn’t even let you wander around the kitchen forget about helping him, saying it’s your rest day. He prepares all your favourite dishes and the look of content on your face is his biggest compliment ever.
If Jaemin can he’ll cook for you everyday just to be able to see you smile and be relaxed, it’s his way of saying that no matter what happens you will always be greeted by his love and affection when you come back to him, he’ll always be here waiting for you and that he loves you.
Tumblr media
CHENLE. braiding your hair
If he’s captivated with anything apart from watching Stephen Curry play it’ll be your hair. Boy just can’t get enough of them, if you’re near him he has to have his fingers run through your dark locks every moment.
One of his favourite activities with you, when you both are together and doing absolutely nothing is braiding your hair. He seats himself on the couch or corner of the bed with you down on the floor trapped between his legs while he softly braids your hair in various hairstyles he has saved all over the week.
Chenle spends hours sitting there leisurely braiding your hair while chatting with you about everything and nothing. Sometimes you sit there reading a book to him or maybe playing games or petting daegal.
Often in between you whine about him taking so much time and he pulls at a few strands lightly to tease you, his giggles filling the room. After putting on a cute hair clip or a bow —mind you he buys you a lot of hair accessories— he finishes and clicks a ton of pictures of his creation, not forgetting to compliment you on how beautiful you look every time.
Tumblr media
JISUNG. creating playlists
The first time Jisung sent you a playlist he was shaking due to nervousness. What if you don’t like the playlist ? What if these songs aren’t of your liking? What if you think he’s a creep? And many more questions like these clouded his mind until you texted back about how much liked his taste in music.
From then on it’s almost like a routine for him to make playlists especially for you, share songs which remind him of you, or songs which he loves. His members call him cheesy for doing this but paying no attention to them he sometimes spends hours on creating playlists for you.
If you feel overwhelmed by work or studies he sends a playlist for you to calm down, if he’s away from you he’ll send a playlist full of love songs which makes you feel as if he is next to you. Boy is so helplessly in love with you that he often confesses his feelings through playlists sometimes with songs and sometimes with the titles of them.
He has never been good with words and whenever he says ‘I love you’ he gets so shy that his face burns like a tomato and then he often finds himself regretting that. But sending you playlists like this seems much more comfortable and meaningful to him.
Tumblr media
masterlist.
a/n. hii, thank you for interacting with my work <3! this is my first fanfic on Tumblr and I hope you liked it. I’ll really appreciate comments, messages or even requests! Tysm for reading 🩵 looking forward to making friends here
470 notes · View notes
fushigur0ll · 11 months
Text
EARTH42! MILES BF HCS
꒰ ♡ ꒱- x black fem!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
earth42!miles who loves you and cares for you so much other then his mom and uncle. he’s the best bf you can ask for as much as he looks so nonchalant and cold from the outside, he’s the most sweetest and romantic person on the inside.
earth42!miles swings by your house when he hasn’t seen you in at least a few hours to a few days or a week. he apologizes when he realizes that you’ve been neglected for a while and spends his time with you as much as he can before he heads back to deal with the world he and you both live in
one thing about earth42!miles is that he never forgets a date or special occasion. he can be busy, yes but he will never forget your birthday, anniversary or any other occasion. one time, it was your birthday, he had sent you money to go buy yourself whatever you wanted and when you were done, you came home with bags on your wrists, hair and nails done, and a cute outfit you had worn to go out. you had almost dropped your bags when you seen your bf standing in the middle of your room, with a bouquet of pink and purple flowers, gifts upon gifts on your bed with plushies and other cute stuff he would always see you stare at when you two would be out together as well as snacks that you assume you both will use in a bit to cuddle and watch movies. you put your bags down, frowning when feeling yourself tear up. he smiles at you softly putting the flowers down and widening his arms for you to walk into his chest, holding him tightly.
“happy birthday, ma”
you smile and feel his fingers tilt your head up to passionately lock lips, holding each other close as the atmosphere is perfectly set. the sky was orange and yellow with spots of red and purple even as the brightest star known as the sun sets down, it cracks through the curtains and widely shows from the balcony that was open from miles coming through that way inside your room. he slowly unlocks his lips from yours with his eyes still closed, the kiss lingering on his lips still. he pecks your lips once more before cupping your face and watching you stare at him softly.
“i love you”
you tear up at how soft you feel right now it’s unexplainable. he notices the tears building up in your eyes and chuckles, rubbing his thumbs across your cheeks and under eye.
“my crybaby”
you scoff and roll your eyes playfully, placing your palms flat on his chest.
“i love you more baby..thank you for this, like really- i can’t even speak i’m just so happy” you smile and look at everything he’s got you.
“anything just to see you smile mami”
then for the rest of the evening, you both looked over the stuff he’s got then watched a bunch of movies you both enjoyed and ended the night in each others arms. you asleep with a small smile on your lips too with miles holding you close to him. your body was practically on him, one leg wrapped around his waist with your arms hugging his torso and head to his chest. he rubs the soft skin of your thigh as well as your arm as he stares at you just thinking about how happy he was to have someone like you with him in a world this hectic and a spider-verse so chaotic. he even thinks about marrying you one day but he knows he’ll have to wait till that day comes. his life was still crazy and will do anything to keep you out of it..well..he tried to but you found out anyway and ever since then he told you about anything that was bothering him or stressing him out as much as he didn’t want to put his burdens and issues on you but it felt extremely nice to have someone listen to him without judging him in any way and that’s one of many hundred reasons he’s so in love with you
earth42!miles who will take you out on dates that isn’t extravagant but simple and perfect for the both of you. picnic, park, and beach dates are something you hold near and dear to your heart. any date you go on with your boyfriend is always something to remember. as much as he doesn’t look like the type to take you out on dates, he doesn’t mind it at all. you both could be strolling through the park late at night, his arm around your shoulder as you talk about your day at school and work right after. he listens to everything you say and just loves it when you ramble, as much as he won’t confess that he does. you both can also be at the park, pushing you high on the swing and hearing you yelp, laugh and giggle. it’s his favourite thing in the world..but again…not like he’s gonna admit it to you but you see his small smile so he’s not that slick.
earth42!miles who will allow you to touch and braid his hair other then his mom. he sits on the floor with your legs on either side of him and your hands just work on his hair, taking out his braids.
“damn- baby my head is tender as it is” he groans and rubs the tender spot on his head
“oh, i’m sorry miles, i’ll be more gentle…and that means you need to oil your hair more boy” you scold him lightly, shaking your head when you hear him chuckle
“yes ma’am”
you help him wash, condition, shampoo his hair and when everything all done, you put his hair right back into his lovely braids and thanks you with a lingering kiss to the corner of your lips
“thank you ma”
all earth42!miles loves doing is spoiling you. you barley ask- let me rephrase, you don’t ask for him to take you shopping because he will just gladly take you on a random day out of the week at anytime. you always ask for his opinion because he does have good taste. he does enjoy moments like these with you and people would think he’s bored walking around the store with his girlfriend but really and truly, he loves going out with you and once again, he won’t admit it to you at all!!
lastly, earth42!miles loves you from the spider-verse and back. ever since he got with you, it’s made him happier then he was before. way before he met you, he was dealing with so much issues, responsibilities and burdens that was hard to take..but you’ve made it all better and made him hopeful for everyday to come with you by his side, showing how much he loves you everyday he sees your pretty self.
what can i say
earth42!miles is a nonchalant sucker in love
Tumblr media
fushigur0ll © 2022 all rights reserved. do not plagarize, translate, or post to other sites please.
1K notes · View notes
lowtaperfeyd · 1 month
Note
Hi 🥰 can i request scenario where reader is paul’s sister and feyd’s wife who is all about honor and one day after feyd’s fight she tells him that he’s not all that because he doesn’t fight fare and is coward 😏
Rats Vs. Mice
Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!reader
author's note: Feyd is so fine. That's all.
warnings: death, blood, house harkonnen, knives.
wc: 940
Tumblr media
(Y/N) Atreides’ father, the Duke Leto Atreides, had a saying, “Respect for truth is the basis for all morality. Something cannot emerge from nothing.” This has always been something both him and his daughter lived by. Because there is no honor in a man who isn’t truthful. Most of the time she didn’t think of this saying often, since she had been surrounded by truthful men. But when she married Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen she realized just how much the Harkonnens lie. She realized the truth did also die with her father. 
“Does he always fight this way?’ She interrogated her uncle-in-law as they were watching Feyd fight in the black and white light of the Harkonnen homeworld’s sun. 
“Yes of course he does!” He quickly responded, feeling a little offended because of the criticism of his heir from his own wife, “What other way is he supposed to?!”  
“I didn't mean to offend, my Baron,” she replied, realizing it was a bad idea to bad mouth Feyd in front of his uncle, “I’m sorry.”  
“Silly girl,” the only thing that came out of the baron’s mouth after that was, “That boy killed his own mother.” (Y/N) continued to watch Feyd fight. 
The way his arm moved through the air in a teasing motion. Like a cat drawing out the death of a mouse. It was complete cowardice disguised by an overconfident nature from many fights against drugged opponents. Drugged opponents who may just stand a chance against Feyd-Rautha. Of course, she did not think he was a bad fighter, just that he was a big baby. 
The fight, of course, ended with all of Feyd’s opponents on the ground lying still and Feyd’s knife rising to the air to show the blood of his kills. Pathetic from a man who won’t even fight a sober man, (Y/N) thought.
As Feyd went back through the tunnel he came out of, (Y/N) turned toward the baron and asked him,
“Would Feyd ever fight against a man who wasn’t drugged?” 
“Why do you ask this?” The baron asked suspiciously. 
“I mean, isn't his birthday coming up? A good present for him would be fighting someone of equal machinery in a sense. You also need to test whether or not he would be good for Arrakis. I know you aren’t happy with Rabban.” 
The baron just mumbled incoherently. 
“Anyway, I must leave,” She said as she got up, “I have to see my husband.” 
(Y/N) began walking through the tall halls of the fortress. Passing grotesque portraits and seeing the black and white fireworks coming from outside of the castle. The fireworks in celebration of Feyd’s victory. Even though it was dark inside the castle the fireworks did light it just enough to where you did not need a glow globe to transverse through the corridors. The air got more frigid as she continued to walk deeper and deeper to her husband’s room. Like walking into the belly of the beast. She got to her husband’s bedroom door and saw two guards outside of it. 
“You can leave” (Y/N) said to the guards. 
The guards just looked at her and nodded. Afraid of what she would or her husband would do if they didn’t listen. 
(Y/N) opened the huge door to see her husband sitting hunched over on his bed. His feet firmly planted on the ground. His knife, still bloody, in his hands. 
“I watched you fight today.” She said cooly to him. 
“I know,” He said equally, “I saw you from the ground” 
“Well congratulations-” She tried to get out before being interrupted by Feyd, 
“What were you talking about with my uncle?” He bit out in a mix of anger and annoyance.
“I don’t know what youre talking about.” (Y/N) deflected. 
“Don’t play coy!” He shouted and moved to stand menacingly in front of his wife, “I saw you two talking and then looking back at me. What was it!”   
“You would be right, Feyd,” She responded, standing her ground, “We were talking about you.” 
(Y/N) declared, “How much of a coward you are,” After saying this she could see the anger lighting up in the cold, black eyes of Feyd-Rautha, “How his youngest nephew only fought people who weren’t able to beat him. And how pathetic it is.” She spat at him.  
“And would you know something, he actually agreed with me.” (Y/N) lied through her teeth, hoping that Feyd would not go and ask his uncle about it later, 
“He agreed that it would be more entertaining if you actually fought people who stab you as easily as you stab them. Have a form of equal bloodshed.” 
Even though his wife was still berating him, Feyd continued to look at his wife, the woman who was not afraid to question him or go against when it came down to speaking, and thought about how pretty she would be with her head on a spike. Red lipstick smeared on her lips and hair all messed up from the blade going across her throat. 
“And do you want to know the worst thing about you Feyd,” (Y/N) continued to push his buttons, “any honor you have earned is false. The only animal one could compare you to is a lazy, house cat; who can only find entertainment in tiny mice, and can’t defeat the rats which actually pose a threat.” 
“You lost all your honor the day you killed your mother.”
"What makes you think you know anything about honor? " Feyd retorted, "Your family is dead and mine is thriving."
238 notes · View notes
nobody7102 · 7 months
Text
Not What He's Made For
Tumblr media
Spoilers for Season 6, Episode 11
Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley x Reader
Warnings: Angst, mentions of pregnancy and lost pregnancy
A/N: First fic in a while, it had to be for my baby Buck. This was inspired by Billie
Main Master-List
________
Standing at the window watching as everyone gathers in his room. Buck swallows hard, seeing himself laying in the hospital bed hooked up to the ventilator, his jaw clenches with anger, an anger that no matter how hard he tries, he can't wake himself up.
Its as if the universe is playing some sick joke on him. He already talked to Daniel and the alternate version of Bobby, what more does the universe want him to learn?
Banging against the glass window “I’M HERE!” He yells over and over as the crew of the 118 slowly file out of the room. Leaving just three.
Maddie, Bobby, and Y/N,
He watches as they sit and make small talk, sometimes discussing things that the doctors and nurses have told them about Buck’s current status. After about an hour a nurse stops in to have Maddie look over some paperwork as his closest next of kin, being that their parents are still hours away from arriving at the hospital. Leaving just Bobby and Y/N.
If there ever where someone who hid their troubles well, it was Y/N.
Always seeming fine and calm in tense or hard situations as her fears screamed inside of her.
When Y/N joined the LAFD most of her previous houses would say thats what made Y/N such a good firefighter, but if you asked Y/N she would always say it was her fear that runs her life. 
And when Y/N joined the 118, Bobby was the only captain who could read through her facade. 
After a call where Y/N had to crawl through a collapsed building a year after she joined the 118, Bobby found her having an anxiety attack in her hospital room after the 118 had visited her after she was found in the rubble. Other time Bobby had learned to tell when Y/N was too in her head about anything.
And when Buck and Y/N had started to turn their situationship into an actual relationship Bobby helped Y/N learn how to navigate her fears when it came to seeing a fellow first responder, and he taught Buck how to help Y/N navigate her anxieties.
And slowly over time, Buck and Y/N became each other’s persons. They had been though so much together, from being almost drowned by a tusnami, being shot at, crawling out of a sinkhole, to fighting wild fires down in Texas, and now this.
A lightning strike. Something so beautiful yet as much as Y/N would normally have admired their beauty, right now she loathed the beauty of plasma.
The one shift she took off and now Buck’s life hangs in the balance.
Placing a hand on Y/N’s shoulder, Y/N turns her head away from Bobby to quickly wipe away her tears. “Comon Y/N… what’s going though your head?” Bobby prys gently.
Letting out a sigh Y/N shakes her head, finally turning to face Bobby. “Did Buck tell you we had a fight-” she correcters herself “or rather that we’ve been fighting…” 
Bobby shrugs slightly “He mention you two were bickering but he didn’t say over what” he takes a seat next to Y/N.
“...The fights… the bickering, whatever you wanna call it… its part of the reason why I asked for this shift off…” 
Bobby nodded his head as he listened “I get it, come back with a clear approach to everything after giving each other some space… what have you been fighting about if you don’t mind me asking”
“...Buck….. Buck thinks I don’t wanna be with him anyone…. That I’m getting tired of him, and I kept trying to tell him… show him that it isn’t the case” Y/N glances over to Buck.
“Okay… then what’s the other reason you asked for this shift off?” Bobby raised his brow. 
Blowing out a breath, Y/N shakes her head.
“If you let it sit, it’s gonna fester into something more. We both know that” Bobby sits back in the chair and crosses his arms, waiting for Y/N to talk.
She knows he’s right, if she avoids talking its just gonna sit in the back of her mind and eventually come back to bite her in the ass later. 
“...If I tell you this… no one else can know, you have to swear to me Bobby. No one… not Athena or Maddie or Eddie or Buck, no one.” She turns to Bobby.
“Y/N, if its serius enough you know Buck-”
“Bobby.” Y/N pleads “He can’t know” 
Bobby lets out a sigh, stuck between a rock and a hard place, he eventually nods his head “It stays between us, I promise” 
Slowly nodding her head, Y/N takes a deep breath and looks back at Buck one last time before she turns back to Bobby.
“... Buck and I have been fighting because he thinks I’m pulling away from him… this has been going on for the past week and a half” Y/N glances down to the floor as she continues “and I mean maybe I was a little bit like three days ago but it’s not for the reason’s Buck thinks” 
Starting to pick at the loose threads of her hoodie, Y/N shakes her head and blows out a breath before glancing to the doorway of Buck’s hospital room, making sure no one other than Bobby is around to hear her before she speaks.
“... a little over two weeks ago… I found out I was pregnant” Y/N sees the shock on Bobby’s face and cuts him off before he has the chance to speak “I was gonna tell you, I swear… but anytime we were on shift it was slow, we didnt end up doing anything super dangerous… and I wanted to tell Buck before I told anyone else”
Bobby’s gaze softens as he sees Y/N close her eyes and lean back in the chair as she takes a breath before continues. “If…. If I was pulling away, it’s because I was trying to figure out how to tell Buck” He sees how Y/N keeps her eyes to the floor as she talks, a tear starts to roll down her cheek before she brings her hand up to wipe it away. “Becuase its Buck. We all know he’d make a great dad, and a great dad deserves to be told in a great way… because Buck is worth taking extra steps to plan for so I ordered this little onesie and all these balloons and a cake to surprise him… and I know he would have loved it” Bobby can hear the passion in her voice before Y/N goes quiet for a moment to compose herself before she clears her thought.
“But then… four days ago I went to the ER because I was having some cramps and light spotting… I asked my doctor about and she said it was normal” Y/N shakes her head “But I could tell… something wasn’t-” Y/N stops herself, taking a moment before she swallows hard. “And… that’s when I learned that I lost the pregnancy…” She shrugs as she tries to maintain was little composer she has left.
“They don’t know what happened… in the ER they told me that things like this just happen sometimes…” Y/N’s voice tightnes she brings her hand up to cover her face for a moment as she tries to take a few deep breaths.
“So… for the last few days… yeah I was pulling away because I had all this stuff planned and I had to figure out what to do with it now because-” her voice breaks “It was all for nothing” her shoulders shake as Bobby wraps his arms around Y/N, letting her cry on his shoulder as he glances between her and Buck with pity and sadness in his eyes. 
“Y/N” He starts once she’s a bit more calmed down “This isn’t something you can hide from Buck”
Y/N just continues to shake her head “I can’t Bobby, I’ve tried-” 
“Y/N” 
“No I mean it” Y/N cuts him off her voice wavers a little bit “I have tried to tell him at every opportunity but i can’t… everytime i try i choke everytime.”
Pulling away from Bobby, Y/N sniffles and wipes her eyes before she glances to Buck “...I think it’d just make it worse, make it hurt more if I told him…” Y/N mumbles “he’s not made for sadness Bobby… Buck thrives on the happiness and joy… love and happiness and passion run his life… something like this?” she just stares at Buck laying in the hospital bed and the tears start to roll down her cheeks once more “it’s not was he’s made for…”
Staring at Y/N and Bobby, Buck bangs his fist against the glass one last time before he stops banging, his hand growing sore as he rests his head against the glass, his tears matching Y/N’s as all he can do it watch…
Hoping that this isn’t his forever.
--------
Tagging: @beachbabey @t-nd-rfoot
528 notes · View notes