#literally burst into tears in front of fiance about it earlier

[escapades-to-rivendell]

hey siri how do I stop the constant feelings of isolation and loneliness from tearing my heart open every day?

[siren-queen-imagines]

Never Ending (Part 2)

I’ve had this in my drafts for a while now...I’m happy with it but at the same time, I’m not? I’m just too critical of myself sometimes and this is one of those times because I want this to be a great sequel and possible series taking place in season 2 of The Punisher. I’ve polished it up and just decided to finally post it and get through it. So I hope you guys enjoy!

This is slowly starting to become Frank Castle x Reader and I don’t know how that got away from me since this started as a Billy/Reader one shot. But I am here for it and enjoying what I have planned.

Part 1

Masterlist

(gif not mine)

================================= 

Holy shit...holy shit…

This was happening. Billy Russo, your ex and rightfully so, was standing in your living room. You had literally just heard not even a full hour ago that he had escaped and he was already here. Madani hadn’t gotten your protection fast enough...hell would that have even helped?

“You look good, Y/N.” Billy told you, a small and genuine smile on his face.

You chose to remain silent as you clutched the phone in your hand tightly, your thumb still hovering over the green button on Frank’s contact number.

“Come on. Sit down.” Billy motioned to your couch, a smile still intact on his face.

You glanced between Billy and the couch, your thumb pressing the green button on your phone. You tucked it in your back pocket, bottom side up so that the mic could pick up your conversation and Frank could hear...please let him pick up and not have this saved on his voicemail. You tried to keep from shaking, the anxiety in you skyrocketing so much that you swore your heart was about to burst from your chest. The moment you got to your couch, Billy held out his hand, his fingers motioning for you to give him something.

“I saw that, Y/N. Hang it up and pass me your phone.” He continued.

You sighed quietly to yourself. Goddammit. Nothing could get past him still. You slowly and reluctantly pulled your phone from your back pocket. Clenching your jaw, you pressed the big red button, ending the call. You stared at the screen for a moment...unwilling to part with the only thing that could connect you to the man who could help you.

“Come on.” He practically sang, a mischievous smile on his face.

You took a deep breath as the screen went dark. You passed your phone to Billy, resisting the urge to cry. You did not know what to expect from Billy...but you knew it most likely wouldn’t end well for you.

“Good girl. Have a seat.” 

At this point, you knew that you had to do what he said...just long enough to buy some time to find a way out of this. You sat down, your body tense as you watched Billy drag one of the chairs nearby to sit in front of you.

“I’ve been wondering, since I woke up, why I haven’t seen you...it’s been confusing to me. So answer me this. Why haven’t you come to visit me, Y/N?” Billy asked, his head slightly tilted with a genuine look of curiosity on his face.

Your glance lowered from Billy’s face and down to the floor space between the two of you. You decided to remain silent to prevent you from saying something out of either a place of anger or fear...you didn’t want him to know you were scared. You needed to think about the words that were gonna come out of your mouth.

“I’ve been told it’s been about 7 months, Y/N.” Billy’s voice slightly raised. “That’s a long time to be apart from your fiance.”

“I’m not your fiance.” You countered almost immediately.

“There she is.” His smile came back. “Was starting to wonder if you were ever gonna speak to me again.”

“What do you want from me, Billy?”

“Just some answers.”

“To what?”

“We can start with the basics. Where have you been?”

“You’re kidding me, right? Did you really think I was gonna come back to you after the shit you pulled?”

“What shit?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

Billy clenched his jaw, staring at you for a moment before standing in frustration. You slightly flinched at the quickness of his movement. A breath you didn’t realize you were holding came out as Billy paced the room for a moment. He walked over to the window and stared out as the evening was slowly turning to night.

“I-I don’t...I don’t remember.” He told you with confusion laced in his tone.

Surprise filled your entire being at the tone of his voice. He has never sounded like that in the time you were with him. And were...were those tears brimming his eyes? Was he serious? Did he not really remember? 

“You don’t remember?” You stated flatly, trying to remain skeptical so that he didn’t pick up on your surprise.

“No...last thing I remember was being with my old unit in Afghanistan and talking to you the night before. Imagine my surprise when my therapist told me that we weren’t together anymore.” He finished his sentence, his gaze finding you once more.

Wait...was Dr. Dumont even allowed to mention that? Like, doctor/patient privilege? You had spoken to her previously because she had offered her services to you once. You had heard Billy was awake. You were standing outside his room, deciding if you wanted to confront him and tell him off because there were plenty you left unsaid after he dropped you off at that hotel. That’s when you met Dr. Krista Dumont. She was on her way in for Billy’s therapy when she talked to you for a little bit and gave you her card. You ended up speaking to her a few times before you had become a patient of hers. 

“She’s right, we’re not. So you should go.” 

Billy sat back down in the chair, reaching out for your hand. You fought your instincts to pull away because you didn’t know if it would make him mad. Mad would not fair well for you as you still waited for a chance to escape.

“Why aren’t we together anymore, Y/N? What happened to us?” Billy’s voice was calm, gentle...the last time you heard him like that...doesn’t matter. Not anymore.

“Dumont didn’t tell you what you did? She didn’t tell you why there were guards posted at your room at all times of the day?”

“I-I know the charges but not the details.”

“Maybe it’s best that way, Billy.”

Billy dropped your hand as you watched his eyes move from side to side. He was desperately trying to remember. He was distracted enough for you to make a move. You darted up and made a run for your bedroom. Because of him, you still held onto that shotgun in your closet. You made halfway down the hallway before you felt Billy’s arms wrap around you. A scream left you as you fought to get out of his hold but to no avail. He had already picked you up and despite you grabbing onto anything you could, he carried you back to the living room. Billy set you back on your feet, pulling on your arm as you tried to go again; your fight or flight switch still on in your mind. 

You fought against his grip as his free hand grabbed your other wrist when you went to push him away. Billy towered over you, almost menacingly.

“Don’t do that again.” Billy warned you, holding you in place. “You won’t like what happens next.”

Your heart was racing what felt like a million miles a minute. Part of you wanted to believe that Billy would never hurt you but the more rational part of you knew exactly what he was capable of. Hell, Billy even taught you how to defend yourself in situations like this but did you really want to test it? Did you really wanna test him?

“Let me go.” You whispered, wincing at the grip on your wrists. “P-please.”

Billy clenched his jaw and let you go. 

“Sit.”

You sat back down, your left hand rubbing your right wrist. You needed to reassess your situation. All you had to do was keep it from escalating. You didn’t keep your cool and look what happened.

“Tell me what I did.” He commanded, leaning forward as he sat back down across from you.

“Bill--”

“Tell me, Y/N.

“You got involved in some shady crap. Right out of your last tour. Something called Operation Cerberus.”

Billy perked up at that. What was Operation Cerberus? And how did you know about it? 

“W-what was Operation Cerberus?” Billy asked.

“I don’t know the full details because it was classified. But it was what got you in trouble. You see there was testimony given to Homeland Security that incriminated you in dealings that stemmed from that tour. Drugs, gun running...murder. Some evidence was found when they searched our apartment. I gotta give it to you, I lived with you and I had no idea about what you did until they tore apart our home.”

Billy took a moment to soak in what you told him...he---he hid this from you? Why would he even do something like that in the first place? What happened during Operation Cerberus? What changed to make him get involved with something like that?

The sound of your ringtone broke the silence of the room, startling the both of you. Billy pulled your phone out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. A small, quiet chuckle escaped him before he showed you the phone. It was Frank.

“What’s Frankie calling you for?” 

“Probably just checking up on me. He’s been doing that since you were arrested.” You told a half truth. Frank had been checking in with you since that night that Billy ended up in the hospital.

“Answer it. Put his mind at ease.”

You glanced down at the phone he held out to you. There was a moment you contemplated on letting it ring, hoping that Frank would see it as something was wrong. But again, would it be a good idea to make Billy mad again? Crap. You sighed and took the phone from Billy, sliding your finger to answer the call.

“Hey, Frank.” You greeted, trying to sound normal. 

There was a pause for a moment...maybe you didn’t sound normal enough. If Frank picked up on that, bless him for it. 

“Someone there with you?” Frank asked, the volume of his voice lower than normal.

“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine.” You said, trying not to raise Billy’s suspicion.

“You in trouble?”

“Mm hmm. I’m just tired.”

Your glance fell on Billy, who watched you carefully...honestly, you couldn’t tell if he was buying this one way conversation.

“You at home?”

“Yeah. I think I’m just gonna stay in. I’m sorry, I tried calling earlier to tell you but my phone cut out.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m back in town. Hang in there as long as you can, you hear me?”

“Yeah. I will. Be careful out there. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

You hung up your side of the line and gave the phone back to Billy. His eyes remained on you as he pocketed your phone.

“You found a way to warn him, didn’t you?” Billy gave a humorless chuckle.

“I-I didn’t, Bill.” You protested.

“Come on, Y/N. I may be a lot of things but I’m not stupid so don’t treat me like I am.”

“He’s not in New York. Even if I did find a way to warn him, he’d never get here in time.”

“Frankie always had a soft spot for you...but he’d never turn me in. He’s my brother.”

Oh….OH. Billy, you don’t remember.

“But I don’t want to put him in any position to get in trouble. Not when he has his family.”

OH BILLY…You decided against telling him because you didn’t know what it would do to him to know about his betrayal to the Castle family. More or so how angry he might become if he truly didn’t remember.

“Is there anything else? Because I gave you answers and that’s what you said you wanted.” You changed the subject. 

“Do you know who did this to me?” He motioned to the scars on his face.

You took a moment to look at each one...really look at them.  You knew how much having these affected Billy before and most likely now. You knew how much pride he took in how he looked...and in your opinion, he still looked like the same ol’ Billy Russo.

“No.” You told him.

You slightly shocked yourself at the conviction in your voice. This had to be convincing enough for him to let it go.

“I’m sorry, I don’t.” You added for good measure.

You managed to keep your eyes on him as he measured your response. He was searching them for any trace of deception. Moments that felt like hours passed before he leaned back into the chair with a sigh, running a hand over his face.

“I need to know who did this to me, Y/N.” Billy said, in a very familiar tone.

Billy would use this tired, slightly irritated tone mixed with a sigh when he felt like he was getting nowhere. When he feels like he’s missing something. You would hear it a lot more after he started Anvil. And this tone meant you managed to not get caught in your lie.

“I know you do.” Your voice softened.

Billy looked up at you, surprised to hear your voice change like that after speaking to him with mostly venom. To be honest, you still weren’t sure if you should tell him. This was quite the situation you were stuck in.

There was a banging on your front door startling you both. Billy’s eyes flickered between the door and you.

“I thought you said Frank wasn’t in New York.” Billy grumbled at you, standing up.

“He’s not.” You told him, standing up as well.

“Y/N? Y/N, it’s Madani, open up.” Madani’s voice called from the other side.

“I have to answer it.” 

Billy motioned for you to do so, making himself scarce. 

“Y/N!” Madani called once more as she banged on your door, the door knob rattling.

You went over to the door and unlocked it, opening it to see Madani and Frank on the other side of the door. 

“Madani.” You greeted before you put your finger to your lips, motioning for Frank, at least, to be quiet. Your eyes glanced to your left, letting them know he was still here. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to check in. See if you’ve heard from or seen Russo.” Madani asked, her vision on the left side of your door.

“Nope. Not a word. Yet, anyway.” You played it off as you stood aside.

Frank walked past you, his gun raised and trained ahead of him. Madani walked in after, staying closer to you but ready in case she hears anything to indicate someone else.

“He’s gone.” Frank said when he walked back into the room. “Fire escape.”

You let out the breath you held the moment you opened the door. Thank god...the entire time he was here it was like you were walking on thin ice. 

“You okay?” Frank asked you lowly as Madani looked around your apartment.

“Yeah. A little shook up, but I’m good.”

“It’s not safe here anymore. Pack a bag.”

“Way ahead of you.”

[byunsboyz]

My Answer (Is You)

Exo Fanfiction

Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Wordcount: 4k

Genre: fluff (teeny tiny amount of implied smut)

Wedding AU

____________________________________________________________

“How many puns should I write into these vows?” You overhear Baekhyun asking himself.

You’ve just walked through the door. It’s the late evening and you’ve just arrived home from work after a short stop at the grocery store. 

Walking in on your fiance still trying to write his vows for your wedding that’s in less than a month 

He’s scratching the top of his head as he hunches over the laptop screen in front of him. Sitting at the small dining table in the corner of your kitchen, his back facing away from you. 

You close the door behind you gently and walk up behind him.

“So you think proclaiming your love for me is a joke, huh?” you whisper menacingly in his ear, trying to hold back your urge to laugh.

Baekhyun jumps out of his seat in surprise. 

“WHY ARE YOU CREEPING UP ON ME” he gasps, dramatically holding his chest and slamming his laptop shut in an attempt to hide the blank word document that you already saw over his shoulder moments ago.

You ignore his dramatics and set the groceries weighing down your arms on the counter. 

“You know something Baek-” you huff as you start to unpack the food into the fridge and cupboards.

You’re about to say something petty, feeling frustrated and tired from a particularly stressful day at work. 

The brief thought that Baekhyun isn’t taking your wedding seriously appears in your mind before you cut it off with a shake of your head.

At the same time, you feel a pair of strong hands slipping around your waist, pulling you closely as the warmth of Baekhyun’s lips presses softly behind your ear.

You instantly relax. Leaning against him as you let out all feelings of tension in a single breath.

“Hey” he whispers, his lips still resting on the back of your neck. 

“Why don’t you go take a nice relaxing shower? I’ll finish putting this stuff away and get dinner started.”

He’s rocking you gently side to side. 

“We can put them away together” you hum, turning in his arms and reaching upwards to cup his face.

You pull him into a soft kiss, feeling the corners of his lips pull back into a smile against your mouth. 

His hand trails up your back to the nape of your neck, his other still wrapped around your waist as he pushes your back into the counter. Pressing himself into you as he deepens the kiss. 

You pull back from his devil lips before he has a chance to put you under his spell. “The groceries babe.”

You giggle as he pouts back at you. 

Baekhyun’s is definitely the more clingy one in your relationship. 

You smack him on the butt playfully as you release yourself from his embrace. “Let’s get cracking, I’m starving!”. 

You work in unison. Baekhyun unpacking the frozen and chilled stuff away while you organise the cupboard items. 

“Leave some of that, I’ll do the top shelf” he singsongs smugly. 

“Says the man who is literally two inches taller”. You mutter under your breath.

“What did you say?!”

You ignore him, stretching up on your tiptoes to place some cans of soup up onto the top shelf. 

“Oh yeah, thank god I’ve got you and your giant ass,” you add sarcastically.

You hear him huff as he closes the fridge and steps beside you, snatching the bag of pasta out of your hands in protest. 

As he opens back up the cupboard, the soup you'd just placed starts to wobble threateningly.

Your eyes widen as the can topples off the shelf. Everything happening in slow motion as Baekhyun’s mouth falls open in shock.

“OOOF!”

The can bounces off the top of his head.

You clasp your hands over your mouth. Half in shock, half to stifle the laughter building up in the back of your throat.

He turns his head to look at you and when you make eye contact you lose it,  bursting into a fit of giggles.

“Are you okay?!” You ask gasping for air, reaching up to check his head.

He smacks your hand away “DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE!” he accuses, rubbing the top of his head while looking mildly distressed.

You have tears coming out of your eyes at this point and all you can manage is a shake of your head as you try and compose yourself. 

Baekhyun is staring at you with eyes full of betrayal, his arms crossed defensively over his chest and a giant pout present on his lips.

You catch your breath and wipe a tear from your cheek. 

“Babe, you really think I would set the can of soup up there just for it to fall on you?” 

His face softens a fraction but then you snort. “It’s a waste of soup!”

“Well it’s not like you don’t already have a history of throwing things at me!” he sniffs, holding his head and refusing to meet your eye in quiet protest. 

You start feeling a little guilty. He would have laughed at you but when he’s standing there all cute and whiney you can’t help but feel a little sorry for him. 

You reach out and take his free hand in yours.

“Well if I didn’t throw that book at your head, we wouldn’t be getting married” you offer sheepishly, trying to suck up a little as you wrap your arms around his waist.

He looks down at you feigning innocence, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Are you gonna kiss it better?” he asks, rubbing the wrong side of his head.

You raise your eyebrow in response as he tests your patience, but you decide to allow him this victory and tilt your chin up to offer him your lips.

He flashes you a goofy smile and kisses you softly.

“Well, it might have been partially my fault”.

“The soup or the book?”

“Both”

You met Baekhyun in college, after being assigned as project partners while taking the same sociology class. 

It was the first time you’d crossed paths but you were painfully aware of him. He was the loud type, always offering his opinion without the teacher asking it. Anything to draw a laugh out of the rest of the class.

You decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, opting to not judge the book by its cover. He could have been a genius for all you knew. 

He proved you wrong, but not on the genius assumption. More so for expecting him to cooperate at all.

You had broken off into your assigned pairs and were meant to spend the rest of the class working on ideas for a presentation relating to mass media and its influence on the younger generation.

Baekhyun seemed to have other ideas and asked you a bunch of nonsense questions as you sat opposite him trying to refocus him to the task at hand.

You felt incredibly frustrated as you stared down at the empty page of bullet points in your notebook.

“I have a fantastic idea!” he called out, getting your hopes up.

Then he let rip the loudest fart you’d ever heard.

You could only look up in disbelief as he sat there laughing unashamedly.

“Wow, you could’ve waited for class to finish?” he tried to imply as he pinched his nose at you.

You felt mortified. When the rest of the class joined in with his laugher you saw red and launched your notebook straight at his head.

Then you were both promptly marched to the headmaster's office.

You had never gotten detention before and vowed to never speak to Byun Baekhyun ever again.

You sat in the small detention room for the rest of the day, feeling absolutely ashamed of your outburst. Wondered if you should apologise to the boy sitting behind you.

It was just the two of you in the room, the teacher had just left to get some coffee and warned you to remain in silence.

“I’m sorry” you had started. “I don’t know what came over me-”.

Your voice waved and eyes stung as tears threatened to fall.

“Oh no please don’t say that” came the voice behind you.

“I was acting like an idiot, I don’t even know what made me think that it was a good idea”.

You turned around at his words. Surprised that he had apologised.

“I thought it would, you know, break down the barriers” He shook his head “but it was childish. I just wanted to see you laughing with me for once”.

You had felt confused at his words. 

“W-what, why?” you stammered in total disbelief.

“I…Uh, I guess I always thought you were cute and you’re always so nice to everybody else and I just wanted you to like me?” 

You remember the way Baekhyun’s cheeks had flushed red, and that yours matched.

“You could have just tried being yourself” you hadn’t realised at the time, but Baekhyun later told you that what you said that day sparked a more genuine side of him. 

No longer feeling the need to act like the class clown.

Most of the time.

“How is your head?” you’d asked.

And as if a director had yelled ‘action!’ he held his head with both hands and sharply sucked in a breath.

“Ahhhhh, well I haven’t looked properly yet but I swear I felt a bump earlier” he winced.

You called his bluff and feigned concern as you stood up to and walked over.

“Oh my goodness, you poor thing” you cooed, as you tried to hold back all traces of sarcasm from your voice.

Baekhyun looked up at you with wide eyes as you placed your own hands on his head. 

“Wha-what are you doing?” he stuttered out, looking surprised.

“Does it hurt here?” you poked the spot on his forehead that you hit with your index finger. 

He shook his head.

“What about here?” you offered as you poked another random spot on his forehead, that time with more force.

“AH!” he cried out as he grabbed hold of your hand to make you stop. 

“You’re not even hurt you big dramatic baby” 

You shouted at him, while you’d felt acutely aware that you had been essentially holding hands.

“Well my feelings were hurt” he’d defended as you pulled your hands from his grip and slumped back into your chair with your arms crossed.

“This is all your fault Byun Baekhyun!” you sighed loudly. “But, I guess chucking my notebook at you wasn’t very nice of me…so I’m sorry”.

Just as you uttered those words, you heard someone clear their throat.

You turned your head to find the headmaster stood in the doorway. 

“I see you’ve worked this out between yourselves, so I guess I won’t ever be seeing you outside my office again?”.

You both nodded your heads frantically and he dismissed you.

You shot quickly out of the classroom, school had already ended so you walked towards the exit when you heard your name being called.

It could have only been Baekhyun, so you stopped and waited for him to catch up to you.

“So, are we friends now?” he had asked shamelessly as he fell into step with you. A wide shit-eating grin plastered across his face as he looked at you hopefully.

What can you say, he had you at the first puppy dog look.

“Sure, we’re project partners after all” you smiled at him before you turned to head in the direction of your street. But he reached out to stop you.

“What if I asked you to come and get some ice cream with me instead of going straight home” He rubbed the back of his neck, a habit that you would learn he only had when he was extremely nervous. “My treat?

You knew at that moment that you were going to be a sucker for the real Baekhyun. 

“I’d love to”. You smiled up at him as he gestured for you to lead the way.

“Yeah let’s go, it’ll be a da-“ he starts before stopping mid-sentence.

“Huh?”

“Nothing!”

The rest was history. You started dating, moved in together after you graduated and got engaged two years ago.

He had proposed in the most Baekhyun way possible. 

Baekhyun had gotten all your friends and family to hold up a letter, and hid each picture around your apartment as a scavenger hunt on your birthday. 

He was your first love and you’re future. 

“Since we unpacked the groceries together, maybe we should shower together...” Baekhyun purrs into your ear, pulling you from your thoughts. 

You hum thoughtfully as you leave him standing in the kitchen, heading towards the shower. 

He starts to follow you until you look back at him over your shoulder.

“You won’t be sharing anything with me until you’ve finished your vows Byun Baekhyun!”

You hear him groan in defeat as you shut the bathroom door.  

***

Three weeks later you’re sat at your wedding reception. The ceremony was beautiful and emotional, Baekhyun managing to avoid the puns in his vows.

“Let's be dumb together, make bad choices...eat the wrong things, take the wrong turns, and then let's tell great stories. The same ones over and over, forever and ever until no one can stand us but each other”

He sniffed, squeezing your hands tightly, all while staring at you like you were the only other person in existence. 

You couldn’t stop your tears of joy as you nodded furiously, smiling so hard that your face still aches even now. 

There was only one small incident.

“I can’t find them!” Chanyeol panicked, (meaning your wedding rings) as he frantically patted down his trousers.

You and Baekhyun stood awkwardly and the room was deafeningly quiet.

“Check your pockets.” Kyungsoo, one of Baekhyun’s other groomsmen had whispered

“I already did.” Chanyeol snapped back. 

Baekhyun started to whisper reassuringly that you didn’t even need rings. 

“Nothing will stop me from marrying you today” 

“Check your inner pockets.” Kyungsoo hissed, as you and Baekhyun became more and more anxious.

“They’re not – oh, son of a bitch!”

You think the entire room groaned in relief. 

His ears turned red in embarrassment as he sheepishly passed them along to you and Baekhyun.

Later in the evening, everyone sits at their tables enjoying dessert.

You decided to go with a traditional three-course sit-down meal. 

Currently regretting your decision to not change out of your wedding dress for the reception, but damn you felt sexy in your lace backless mermaid gown.

Baekhyun’s jaw practically fell to the floor when you’d walked down the aisle.

One of the servers approaches your table with a huge smile, “Could I get you anything else?”

In unison, you and Baekhyun reply “More of the ice cream cak-”.

You both burst into laughter.

“Wow, can I marry you again?” he gushes.

You press your lips to his cheek and whisper in his ear.

“I’d marry you every day if you didn’t mind us going bankrupt.” you tease.

Baekhyun snorts, followed by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

You forgot the server was standing there. 

“Apologies for the interruption, I just wanted to confirm that you both wanted more of the cake”.

You nod, blushing slightly. “Two more servings of cake for me and my husband please!”

Baekhyun gushes in excitement at your use of his new title. 

When the waiter steps away you continue where you left off. Baekhyun is already leaning towards you and offers you his free hand, you grin and high five him. 

“Excellent decision making Mrs Byun” he grins, moving in to steal another kiss. 

“You guys are giving me toothache” complains your brother Sehun. 

You look over to see him shaking his head with a grimace. 

“You brat, this is my wedding!”.

You tickle the side of his ribs playfully, forcing him to crack a smile.

“You’ve got yourself a keeper” You overhear Junmyeon, Baekhyun's co-worker slur. 

You look over just as he affectionately throws his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder, looking like he’s about to tear up, his cheeks tinged pink from the effects of the open bar. 

“Eh hem!”

Chanyeol stands up and taps at his glass trying to gain everyone’s attention.

Not seeming to realise how hard he’s tapping until the glass loudly shatters everywhere.

“OH SHIT!”

With everyone’s attention caught, Chanyeol sheepishly wipes the spilt champagne off his trousers. 

“Well that certainly BROKE the silence” he stammers nervously, trying to laugh it off.

Junmyeon laughs hysterically while Sehun pretends to gag.

Chanyeol kicks off the speeches for the evening, talking about how he first met Baekhyun in grade school, becoming best friends over their love of yu-gi-oh and ferrets and giving a short recap of all the pranks they’d pulled together.

You notice Baekhyun sinking in his chair as Chanyeol reveals how he had wanted to be a Ballerina when he was little.

You gasp for air, laughing at the image of your husband wearing a tutu.

Instant payback comes in the form of your maid of honour recalling the time you got super drunk during your first year of college and tried to fight the cardboard cut out of your favourite boy band member in the middle of a shopping centre.

She didn’t even spare you and leave out the part where you proceeded to sob when his head snapped off.

“The mall even made her pay for the standee and she brought him home!” 

You hide your face in your hands as Baekhyun vibrates with laughter next to you.

“He lived in our dorm until we graduated! But alas, he was no match for Byun Baekhyun!”

You shoot her a death glare as she finishes up her speech, your guests laughing happily around you.

After the speeches are finished, the DJ announces that it’s time for you and Baekhyun to have your first dance.

The lights around the edge of the room dim as the dance floor lights up. You and Baekhyun stand, walking hand in hand to take your places at the centre of the room. 

Everyone else forms a circle around the edges of the dance floor, phones and cameras out at the ready. 

Baekhyun places one arm around your waist and holds out the other. 

You, in turn, place your hand atop his and the other gently on his shoulder, just like you had been practising the last couple of months.

The lighting of the dancefloor shines around him, highlighting every beautiful angle on your husband’s face. You feel giddy over the knowledge that you get to kiss his beautiful lips for the rest of your life. 

The soft piano of Sam Kim’s ‘Would You Believe’ slowly fills the room as you start to dance, floating under Baekhyun's hold as he leads you around the room. 

It all feels so effortless, just like your love. 

You wrap your arms around Baekhyun, pressing your body tightly against him as he steals kisses from your lips. Your friends and family clapping and cheering. 

The DJ offers for the rest of the room to join you on the dance floor, but everyone blurs in comparison to the man holding you. 

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been slow dancing with Baekhyun, your head resting comfortably on his shoulder and his face buried in the crook of your shoulder and neck. 

“The moment I first saw you,

I was so attracted to you,

I didn’t weigh out my thoughts and just talked”

You shiver as Baekhyun sings softly in your ear. His voice, low and melodic.

“The answer is you…

My answer is you,

I showed you my everything,

You are my everything...

Because I was so sure”.

You inhale sharply as his hand slips lower to rest on the curve of your back, just above your ass as he continues to serenade you.

“Hey” you whisper, kissing just below his ear. “Wanna sneak away?” 

Baekhyun gazes down at you, a devilish glint in the amber hues of his eyes. 

“I thought you’d never ask” he grins, pulling you into a heated kiss.

“Get a room!” 

You think Jongdae shouts out from somewhere behind you, you both laugh and break your kiss to look over at your group of friends. 

It looks like they’re playing some type of drinking game over at one of the tables. Chanyeol is already passed out, slumped over the table. 

Baekhyun takes your hand and leads you out of the room before anyone else can catch you slipping away from the party.

It was getting late anyway and you have a flight to catch to the Maldives in the morning.

You were staying in the venue overnight, a beautiful manor house in the countryside. 

You knew a lot of the guests were also staying, so you could catch them at breakfast before your airport taxi arrives.

When you arrive at your room Baekhyun suddenly scoops you up in your arms making you squeal.

“What are you doing” you giggle. 

“I’m carrying you over the threshold!” 

“Uh what about the room key?” you snort. “Ah, shit...it’s in my pocket”.

You reach your arm down behind you, feeling for his pocket. “Wow is that a big key or are you just happy to see me” you gasp. 

You make it into the room, Baekhyun placing you back onto your feet and unzipping your dress all in one swift movement. 

“What the-” He cuts you off as he presses himself against you, mouth hungrily catching your lips as he walks you backwards and lays you gently on the bed.  

He steps back to loosen his tie and clicks a button on a tiny remote that you didn’t even notice him pick up.

R’n’B music begins to pulse from the speakers as he saunters back over to the bed. 

No sleep tonight We makin' love until the sun shines down on us No sleep tonight We makin' love until the sun (yeah)

“What are you doing?” you snort.

Baekhyun bites his lip and waggles his brow as he presses you softly into the mattress. Running his hands down the smooth silk of your lingerie. 

“I’m seducing you, Mrs Byun”. 

You exhale happily, shuddering under his touch. 

“I’m all yours”.

[bangtansdoc]

It started with a kiss.

Pairings: Kim taehyung x reader.

Warnings: slight mentions of abandonment and blood, other than that, pure tooth rotting fluff!.

Genre: fluff, slight angst, fluff fluff fluff!!!

Word count: four thousand something something 😁😁😁. Ost: yayaya by urban zakapa ( Ost of hi! School love on)

Synopsis: you are a hopeless romantic who believed in the stuff of kdramas and as such had planned your first kiss to be something right out of a fairytale,but when those dreams are brutally crushed by a careless dare, chaos ensues. But will your chaotic feelings eventually turn into something else?

The handsome stranger walked towards you. He had strawberry pink hair, broad shoulders and the face of a literal Greek god. He was devastatingly handsome. You had glanced at him a few times as you stood by the pool with your canned coke at the freshman orientation party for Jaeguk University. You snuck glances at him as he stood with his friends and DANG, he was drop dead gorgeous, even in his flannel shirt and ankle length trousers.

And now he was walking up to you. You braced yourself for impact, rehearsing several scenarios in your head so as not to sound like a drunken mule when he finally arrived in front of you. You cleared your throat and opened your mouth to speak when he suddenly grabbed your waist and planted a soft kiss on your lips. People often said that when you were about to die , your whole life would flash before your eyes. Well, you might've as well been in a life or death situation with what this stranger had just done to you. Your whole life did flash, as you saw all your plans and dreams for your first kiss shattered right then and there. You had grown up in a conservative Christian home,where you had been taught a lot about love and with the help of several dramas and novels, had planned the perfect scenario for your first kiss. Your boyfriend or fiance who you were madly in love with, would kiss you beside a fountain as it erupted behind you and fireworks lit up a beautiful night sky. Cheesy yes, but it was your fantasy. The same fantasy that this handsome stranger had just stolen from you in a matter of seconds. Like you said earlier, he might've just killed you right then and there.

Anger welled up in you as you shoved him away violently. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!!!" You yelled, getting the attention of most of the people around you, but you couldn't care less. The stranger looked taken aback. "Cool off girl. It was just a dare. And I had to kiss you."

OH. MY. GOD.

It was a dare?!!!!

This guy had just shattered your dreams and claimed the lips you had been saving for the nineteen years of your existence on Earth for a DARE?!!! You didn't know when your hand moved up and Gave him a hot slap across the cheek. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "What the actual hell?! Did you just slap me?!" "You have no idea what you just did!" Tears welled up in your eyes. "If I had a gun I would murder you right now!" You yelled again before storming off to shed the tears that were already spilling over, leaving the stranger dazed and confused in shock.

"You slapped him?!!" Mina , your best friend said to you in shock. Well more like yelled at you in shock. Mina was two years older then you and was in her second year at Jaeguk University. "Omo, omo" she said sheepishly as she giggled. "I can't believe you actually did that!" "Serves him right though." You growled, stuffing your face with rock candies. Upon getting to the apartment you and Mina shared, you had bawled your eyes out, unimaginable hatred filling you for that stranger, and as soon as Mina had arrived home, you had poured your heart out to her. Mina had been your best friend since grade school, and though she considered it childish, she knew how much and how important your first kiss was to you and she had shared your pain when she learnt that all your plans had been thwarted. "I don't even know what to do with myself anymore" you muttered miserably as you fell back on the bed. "I feel so used, so corrupted so..... Impure". Mina rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. I know how much this meant to you, but maybe..." You glared at her and she put her hands up in defense. "Just maybe ....you should take this as a sign."You groaned. "A sign of what?" "That there are just somethings you can't plan".

You walked groggily through the school lawn. One reason you had picked Jaeguk University was the stunning scenery. You were smack in the middle of summer now, and the dandelions, peaches and tulips burst out in a magnificent array of colours that painted the walkway the color of nature. You inhaled the sweet smell of the flowers, it bringing an earthly peace to your insides. You felt you could just lie there and paint the flowers all day. A deep, masculine voice brought you out of your bliss.

"Hey! Hey Y/N!"

You didn't know anyone fully yet, so you wondered how the owner of this voice knew your name. You spun around and saw the stranger that had kissed you bounding up to you. Your eyes saw red, and you quickly made the wise decision to ignore him as you were not sure you could control your emotions were you to engage him....but he persisted. "Y/N?! Y/N?! Hey I know it's you Y/N/L/N! Stop ignoring me! Hey!" You finally stopped and spun around sharply, bringing the stranger to an abrupt halt. He panted a little as you took in his features. He wore a bandana over his now light brown hair, he had hazel brown eyes that were deep and calculating, and though you "hated" him, his attractiveness sent shivers down your spine. "What do you want?" You asked through gritted teeth. "About the other day,... I'm sorry". Well you hadn't expected that. You felt yourself relenting but then you remembered that his apology wouldn't repair the damage done and your heart hardened. "I don't want your apology". You began to walk away. "Wha....hey wait up!" The stranger fell into pace with your hurried steps. "What do you mean you don't want my apology?" He asked, bewildered. "You seem to forget that you did hit me, but I'm willing to ignore that since I figured that I probably took you by surprise with that kiss". You scoffed inwardly and wanted to retort back at him but you kept your jaw wired shut. "And why are you so mad anyway? It was just a kiss, and not even a deep one at that. Or was it your first kiss or something?" You stopped dead in your tracks, trying to will your legs to move but they were rooted to the ground. The stranger's eyes widened. "It WAS your first kiss wasn't it? Wow". He laughed. "No wonder you got your insides all twisted up. Well at least now you've been kissed, and by me, the one and only Kim taehyung. Now you can boast to all your little friends that you are finally a woman".

The entire time the stranger- taehyung had been talking, your hands had balled into fists. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks until you could take no more of his mindless rantings. You burst.

"It was more than just a first kiss!! It was something special! Something meant to be shared with someone special! During a very special moment!!!! Notice how much I've said special?! Cos it's special to me!! It's something I've been planning my whole life!! It wasn't meant to be taken- stolen from me by an egotistical college celebrity wannabe who thinks he's all that when he's really nothing at all!!!" Taehyung had stared at you open mouthed the whole time you ranted, and now he scoffed. "Wow you really are dumber than you look aren't you? Wake up kid. This is the real world and not a kdrama. Who the heck plans a first kiss? Gosh, you're dorkier than I imagined". You went livid with anger. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!!!". He smirked as he inched closer to you. "I called you a dork, dork". You raised your hand to hit him again but he reacted quickly and grabbed your hand before it made contact with his face. "Don't you even dare. I had to use multiple ice packs to ease the pain of your last outburst". He scowled before pushing your hand back with force, causing you to stumble. He then began to walk away. "Yaaaaa!!!!! KIM TAEHYUNG!!! This is not over!!! You won't ever get away with this! I will hate you for the rest of my life!" With his back still turned to you, he rose up his hand and gave you the middle finger. You had a list of people that you wished would die in a freak accident or get eaten by a shark, like the men that had molested your younger sister when she was twelve and the woman that had hit you with a car and run off, and now KIM TAEHYUNG HAD JUST MADE THE LIST.

"I really don't wanna go Mina". It had been a month since your incident with taehyung and you had rarely seen him around campus. The oh - so brief moments you two had crossed paths were filled with dirty looks and rude gestures. Mina had fallen head over heels with a third year criminal law student, Kim Namjoon. He had by wooing her for a while now and she was biding her time with him to see how things would go. Eventually she had reciprocated his feelings and they were to go on their first date the coming Saturday. However, Mina was extremely nervous and as she didn't want to mess up her date, had convinced Namjoon to make it a double date, thus setting you up on a blind date with one of Namjoon's friends. You really wished she had asked your opinion first as you weren't really into blind dates and you really needed to study. You tried to weasel your way out of it. "Pleeeeeease Y/N. I need you. Just do this one thing for me Hun? If I'm alone with Namjoon I might say something stupid and he'll think I'm crazy. You have to help me" . You rolled your eyes. You knew you were eventually gonna say yes. She was your best friend after all, and she really liked this guy so you decided to just tough it out. "Fine. I'll help you". Mina smothered you in a hug. "Thank you so much!" She said and planted a kiss on your cheeks. "I love you!" She said and you chuckled to yourself.

Saturday came quickly and you soon found yourself preparing for your double date. Even though you were doing it for Mina, it still was a date after all, one of the rarest occurrences in your nineteen year life, so you tried to look pretty, touching up your make up, and styling your hair. You stared at your reflection in the mirror and smiled. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all. The sound of the doorbell interrupted your thoughts. "They're here!" Mina screeched as you both ran to the door, she took a deep breath and opened it . A tall, blonde haired man smiled at her. "Hi Namjoon oppa" she greeted and Namjoon greeted back. You initially focused all your attention on the man in front of you so you didn't notice the person behind him. When you finally did, your purse clattered to the ground and your eyes widened in shock. "Oh hell no". You sputtered as the person's eyes met yours and contorted in surprise. "He's my date? Oh hell-to- the - no". You said as you rushed back into the room with Mina hurrying in after you. "Y/N! What's the matter?" You sat on the bed and began to take off your shoes. "That guy, Namjoon's friend, my blind date,..." You almost puked at the thought. "...is KIM TAEHYUNG". Mina sat beside you. "Oh God. Oh God. I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I'll tell Namjoon that the date is off and...." "You'll do no such thing". You said finally. "You're right. You didn't know. And I'm not going to let my feelings ruin your date." Mina smiled sympathetically as she hugged you. "Thank you so much". " Now stop feeling guilty. You just enjoy your date and don't worry about me." You said again as you both walked out the room door and back to taehyung and Namjoon who looked like they had both had the same conversation you and Mina had had in the bedroom. Taehyung glanced at you for a second, but his expression was unreadable. Namjoon led Mina to his car leaving you to walk in step with taehyung."Now we're both doing this for our friends so let's try to be civil." You started. "I believe we can both put aside our differences and..." Taehyung interrupted you by putting earphones into his ears and walking off into the backseat of the car. You sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Overall the night had gone pretty well, if one ignored the popcorn fight you and taehyung had at the movies. And now you were both squeezed in the backseat of Namjoon's car , staring at anything but each other as you headed home. You stared outside at the raindrops that pelted the ash roads. "The winds picking up" Namjoon said as he turned the corner to your apartment block. You had noticed also that it was raining rather heavily for a night in August. Namjoon pulled up at your apartment, just as lightning flashed and the pouring rains threatened to penetrate the covering of the car. "So, here we are". Namjoon said coyly. "Yes here we are." Mina repeated after him and you rolled your eyes. They both obviously wanted some privacy. From the look on taehyung's face, it looked like he had picked up on that too. "We'll both go inside and get a drink or something." He finally looked at you. "You have a key right?" You felt like replying sarcastically but held your tongue. You smiled forcefully at him instead. "Yes I have a key". You both got out of the car and you glanced back for a brief second in time to see Namjoon smile at Mina warmly as she shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. You couldn't help the pang of jealousy that bit at your insides. Namjoon was a great guy, you were sure, from your brief interactions with him. At Least he could've brought any other friend, but instead he stuck you with Kim - hell - of - a - jerk - taehyung. You sighed and wondered if constant sighing was bad for your health.

Taehyung plopped down on your couch while you tried to lock the door. You scoffed inwardly at how quick he was in getting comfortable in another person's home. "You guys got anything good to watch?" He asked. "We literally just came back from watching a movie". "Well you were bugging me the whole time so I could barely concentrate, hogging all the popcorn." He said matter of factly. You made your way to the stash of DVDS by your TV.( Mina's parents were lawyers and had furnished your apartment with all the essentials) "I've got some good horror classics. You a fan of the exorcist?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "You like horror?" You raised an eyebrow. "Yeah" "Hmm". Now you raised both eyebrows. "What do you mean by....." Your words were cut short by a sudden clasp of thunder, a loud crash followed by an equally loud scream. Your mind immediately went to Mina and Namjoon who were sitll in the car. As if on cue, both of them yanked the front door open and tumbled into the apartment. "What happened?!" You and taehyung yelled. Namjoon took a deep breath to calm himself. "An electric pole fell on the car." "Oh my God are you both okay?" You said , as you began to worriedly inspect Mina's arms and legs. "We're fine. But there's no way we can get home now even if we wanted to. It'd be crazy to go out in this rain" . "Rain? More of a storm". Taehyung said, looking out the window. "Hyung, so we're stuck here?" He asked, incredulous. "For now. We just have to wait it out". Taehyung groaned loudly and you quickly tried to liven up everyone's moods. "Why don't we all just make ourselves comfy? I'll go whip us up a cup of hot chocolate. I was about to watch a movie with taehyung. We can use it to pass the time." Your plan looked like it had had the desired effect. Namjoon took off his coat, Mina her heels, as they both plopped down on the settee beside taehyung while you smiling, made your way to the kitchenette. You noticed taehyung staring at you as you did.

"Oh God I've got to use the bathroom". Taehyung said as you glared at him, obviously annoyed. You were all squeezed in on the settee as the movie rolled the ending credits. Taehyung had constantly whimpered and squealed during the entire movie that you were unable to enjoy it. You tried to conceal your irritation. "So?". He turned his head to face you. "So, sassy, I can't go alone". "Why?" "Cos your stupid movie freaked me out!". "If you knew you were easily scared why did you watch it?". He furrowed his brows together, confused and you noticed how cute he looked that way. "Well what kinda man gets scared of a horror movie?". Ugh. You face palmed yourself. "A you kinda man. Obviously". You stated, frustrated. "Well the point is you have to follow me" "I AM not following you into the bathroom....". "Geez girl you don't have to follow me all the way....". He said and smirked and you almost lost your hot chocolate. "You can just Stand outside the door while I do my business". "The answer remains NO". Taehyung frowned , staring at you intensely, and you honestly thought he was going to kiss you again. He suddenly burst out, whining like a child and grabbing your arm. "Ah c'mon Y/N! Please please please please please!!" "Okay fine just please stop that racket!!!" "Ha ha". Taehyung laughed and gave you the most heavenly boxy smile you had ever seen. You led him to your bathroom and stood outside the the door. You had a good mind to lock him in and switch off the lights but decided against it. Your mind wandered back to when he had been pestering you. He had been so close to you. You found yourself not getting repulsed at the thought of him kissing you again. You felt your cheeks grow hot. "Wait what am I thinking? I barely even know this guy, and I hate him. Right?" Taehyung opened the door and smiled at you. Whomp. There went your resolve. He stared at you for a while. "What?" You choked out. "You Know Y/N, you're pretty cute when you're not being sassy". Your whole body trembled but you hid it by Rolling your eyes. "And you're pretty cute when you're not going off kissing random people". Taehyung gave a genuine and hearty laugh. "You're not so bad after all Y/N ".

You made your way through the canopies and the throngs of people at the orphanage. You were on semester break and you were volunteering at the seungri orphanage for their fundraiser. You hadn't seen taehyung since that night of the storm and you couldn't say you hadn't missed him. Something had changed in you since that night and you found yourself thinking about him one too many times. "Y /N! Is that you?" Great. Now you were imagining his voice as well. "Hey Y/N!" Taehyung appeared in front of you looking excited. "Didn't you hear me calling you?" You stared at him, stunned. "What are you doing here?" His face fell. "Well hello to you too." He paused. "I work here". "At the orphanage?". "No, at the carnival. Of course the orphanage dummy". He say and poked your head. You rubbed the spot. "I'm a volunteer here. I stopped for a while because of school, but when I heard they were having a fundraiser I decided to help out". "Wow that's amazing. I volunteer here too. I love kids...." His eyes widened in the most beautiful way. "Really? Me too! I mean who doesn't? But i love them so much. I plan on having at least three when I get married." You chuckled as you began to walk in step with him. "Wow." You said, genuinely amazed. "I never pictured you...." "As a kid person? Yeah I thought so." You laughed again. Taehyung suddenly reached out to grab your wrists. "look Y/N, about the kiss from before..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm really sorry. And for all the things I said to you. I should've respected you more." He looked at you keenly. You gulped. You had to get away from him before you lost all your senses. You quickly tried to say something so he wouldn't think his apology wasn't accepted. "It's fine really taehyung I...." You were interrupted by a scream that rang through the air. There was a commotion as people ran towards the source of the scream, you and taehyung as well. You arrived at a clearing where a woman and two nurses were crouched down in the soil. You angled your neck and tried to look over people's heads and bodies, and suddenly you froze. There, half buried in the soil was a baby. The baby was covered in red spots and bloody bruises, possibly ant bites. The baby probably wouldn't have been more than three months old and was crying it's lungs out. The women struggled to get the baby out and you found yourself joining them, tears already dripping from your eyes.

It was dark . You sat on a bench in the park. The baby had been rescued safely. He was alive, but barely. He had been rushed to the ICU at the nearest hospital. You wondered how a person could do something so despicable. The tears started pooling again as you imagined the amount of pain he must've gone through and the more to probably follow. You began to wish God had just taken him instead. "No". You said. Wiping your tears. "He deserves to live, he should live happily and survive no matter what you show that wretched person who threw him away". "Hey, you okay?" Taehyung said as he sat beside you. He offered you a grape soda which you accepted gratefully . Earlier, you had bawled your eyes out in front of him and he had hugged you tightly, whispering words of comfort. "Mina called. I told her you were okay and that I'd bring you home later." He chuckled lightly. "She was surprised that you were with me". You sniffed and smiled. "I'm sorry you had to see me that way. And thank you for staying with me. I just- I lost my cool when I saw him...." You began to choked and taehyung moved closer and cupped your face in his hands. "Hey, hey no more tears. You are just very caring about others and that's a great virtue not many people have." His face was inches away From yours now. You looked up and locked eyes with him. "Thanks". You said quietly. Taehyung's expression was unreadable. His eyes darted to your lips and then he leaned in. You shot up quickly. "Wh- what do you think you're doing?" He stood up after you. "I like you Y/N." He said and your heart nearly burst out of your ribcage. "I don't know when, how or even the hell why, but I do". You began to gasp for breath before you turned round and took to your heels.

School had resumed and winter was fast approaching. You had avoided taehyung like the plague. He had gotten your number from Mina and called you but you avoided him and his calls. So far your strategy had worked but now he was approaching you. You searched for somewhere to duck and hide but he was faster. He grabbed your arm before you could make a run for it. "Why have you been avoiding me?" He asked. "Why wouldn't I?" "Who the heck runs away from a confession?!" "Well I wasn't expecting it!". Taehyung sighed. "You're going for lunch right? Have lunch with me." "No way..." " I'm buying". You began to nod slowly and taehyung snorted. "Cheapskate. Follow me". He led you to the school's water fountain and you sat on the white bench erected by it. He handed you a soda which he conveniently had in his bag and took one for himself. Something was fishy. Taehyung noticed your countenance. "Before you ask, Mina gave me your class schedule." "That crazy wench...." " But only because we really needed to finally talk this out". He paused. "Do you like me?" You choked. "What- what kind of question..." "It's either one of two things, either you're avoiding me because you still hate me and don't want things to get awkward or you're avoiding me because you do like me as well." You stared at your knees. "You can't force an answer out of me." "I just want you to admit it" . You looked up and met his gaze. You saw the sincerity in his eyes and you relented. "Yes I do like you Kim taehyung". Taehyung sighed and smirked. "See? Now that wasn't so hard was it?" You chuckled and he stared at you intensely. You knew in that moment he was going to try and kiss you again. And this time you weren't going to stop him. Seeing this taehyung smiled and captured your lips in his. He cupped your face in his hands and carresssed your cheeks softly. You didn't really know what to do so you ran your fingers through his hair and he sighed into the kiss. All of a sudden, the fountain behind you erupted, sprinkling water on you both. Taehyung broke the kiss and laughed. "Well you wanted a magical first kiss and you got one." You smiled and sipped your soda. "It wasn't the scenery or event that made the kiss special, but the person." Taehyung's face broke into a wide smile as he raised his soda bottle in cheers. "Well, I will most definitely drink to that."

Wow! This took a long time to complete. Thank God it's done. I'll be back with another fic titled into the light. I'll also make a request box/ ask me once I can figure out how. Hope you all enjoyed the story. I didn't know it would be this long 😁😁😁. BTW, I usually have osts( original sound tracks) for all my pics. They're kinda like songs that play in my head while writing a fic If you get what I mean. anywayyyy write them at the top of each fic and you can check them out if you'd like. I would add a link if I knew how to. Bye!

[virmillion]

Ibytm - T minus 32 seconds

Masterpost - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter - ao3

Words: 3,591

Logan fidgets with his bow tie in the mirror, watching the light catch on the sparkling gold stitching. Against the deep purple of the fabric, the reflection of the shining yellow thread looks like jewels dancing along his jaw. He glances to the side, watching his dad walk over to fix it for him.

“You really need to wear more than your skinny long ties,” his dad mutters, pulling the bow taught. “Then you wouldn’t have such a hard time with this one.”

“Oh, leave him alone, Emile,” Logan’s doddo huffs. (Yes, Doddo, as in ‘dah-doh,’ because Logan had a very obsessive dodo bird phase when he was younger and still learning to speak.) Logan meets his eyes in the mirror as his doddo tries to smile, and the way his near-black eyes crinkle up at the corners is almost enough to bring drops of water to Logan’s matching pair. “Let him have his day.”

“Yeah, Dad ,” Logan adds, wrinkling his nose to make the title sound appropriately nasally. “Let me have my day.”

“I’ll let you have it when you earn it,” his dad replies good-naturedly, pulling him into a side hug. From under his dad’s head, which rests on his own, Logan glances over their reflections, taking stock of a future he might well be heading for. Grey hair pulled back from a widow’s peak, just long enough to be pulled into a spurt of flyaways through a hair tie, resting on his shoulders with a weight even Atlas wouldn’t bear, but it does nothing to diminish those familiar laugh lines. Through everything in Logan’s life, those laugh lines have always been there, always reminded him of why it’s worth it to keep going. Those laugh lines are all Logan has ever aspired to become.

“Hey, hey! No crying on your special day!” his doddo says suddenly, waving his hands over his head. Logan brushes a finger over the damp skin beneath his eye and smiles.

“I can’t promise you anything of the sort.”

“Well, will you at least wait until you actually see the man you’re stuck with now before you go breaking down about it?”

“I’ll do my best.” Logan rests his fingers on the bow tie, watching it glitter against the tears in his dad’s eyes.

The walk to the altar is a blur, fraught with tripping over his own feet and trying to maneuver his doddo’s chair across the bumpy parts of the grass. Logan barely remembers to wrap his parents in the tightest hug he can manage before he breaks away to his spot at the ride side of the altar.

Roman tuts, tapping Logan’s shoulder to get him to turn around. Messing with his bow tie, he chides Logan, “I told you, no more hugs after the final touch-ups.”

“And I told you to leave the sword at home.”

“It’s tradition for the groom to be able to defend his bride from any kidnappers, and you refusing to be prepared for that means I have to pick up the slack!”

“Roman. Sword down. ”

Roman huffs before stashing the very real sword behind the stage, hiding it in the taller patches of grass crawling up the sides, but he gives Logan a pointed look as he does so. Where did he even get a sword? “If someone tries to steal your bride, don’t come crying to me when you aren’t ready to fight.”

“Virgil isn’t my bride.”

“Not yet he’s not, and he certainly won’t be if you keep up that attitude.”

Logan rolls his eyes and pats his tie one last time before turning to the marriage officiant, who gives him a reassuring nod. “Everything is good to go, and he should be walking down that aisle any minute now.”

As Logan inhales and glances at the white carpet rolling across the grass and holds that deep breath, he feels goosebumps skitter all over his skin. Maybe it was a little too on-the-nose to pick an open field that’s framed with trees, but at least the leaves did him the dignity of decking themselves out in brilliant reds and oranges. A few shreds of yellow dance across the breeze and tickle the back of his neck. At least it’s right up against the side of a nice restaurant that was more than willing to put up their short-notice reservation. They even blocked out a decent chunk of the building for them to occupy after the dinner rush. A nice little place, really, one Logan’s fiance has sworn by since forever, and Logan kind of gets the feeling they aren’t often chosen for weddings and receptions, especially such impromptu ones as this.

Granted, they could’ve shot for earlier in the day, too, but it’s more than a little too late for regrets. Plus, hey, Logan kind of likes the soft pinks of the sunset framing their little stage, and he’s almost certain he’ll love how the colors will slice across Virgil’s sharp features. He feels something clap his shoulder, and turns to face Roman again.

“You’ve got this, buddy.” Roman grins, holding his gaze just a little longer than he needs to.

Logan nods and releases the shuddering breath he forgot he was holding, looking out over the audience. He’s never been particularly uncomfortable with crowds before—quite the contrary, in fact, as he’s the best presenter the fifth floor had to offer—but this feels different. This is a group of literally the most important people in their lives, gathered in one spot to watch literally the most important day of their lives.

Fine.

Logan is nervous.

He turns to his parents in the front row on his side, both of whom are flashing him giddy thumbs-ups and waves. He pretends not to notice the persistent tears still sparkling in his dad’s eyes.

He looks away, hoping the wells of emotion aren’t so blatantly reflected in his own face. If he’s breaking down this early, there’s no way he’ll make it through the rest of the ceremony, much less the reception.

Soft piano notes swell, creeping into the air and floating in circles around Logan’s head like so many flickering stars. Off to the side of the stage sits Joy, who nods at Logan as the melody picks up. Her fingers dance over the keys, keeping time with Logan’s erratic heartbeat. It was nothing short of a miracle that she agreed to provide the music for this part, but Logan can hardly even begin to think of all the ways he owes her as the doors to the restaurant swing open, revealing Virgil on his mother’s arm. His father stands in the front row on the audience’s left side, openly crying into his handkerchief. He knew he wouldn’t be composed enough to get Virgil down the aisle without collapsing, and Virgil’s mom was more than happy to oblige.

Virgil wears the perfect inverse of Logan’s outfit—a deep gold washing over his pale skin at sunset, accented with warm swaths of purple and bursts of pure white. The only unique thing in the color scheme is the tie looped around his neck, a pastel silver etched with lilac. With every achingly slow step Virgil takes, Logan feels his heart ricocheting around inside his body, bouncing off his ribcage and hammering into his knees and slamming against the top of his skull and trying to leak out through his eyes. It’s all Logan can do not to mirror his parents’ little emotion fest.

All too soon and nowhere near soon enough, Virgil arrives at Logan’s side. His mother nods and smiles at Logan, pressing Virgil’s hands into his before joining her husband on the left side, where she comforts the weeping man.

“Dad never was one for the stony silence kind of things,” Virgil says under his breath. Logan fights back a giggle.

“No, he really wasn’t.” Were it not for the officiant clearing his throat to get the ceremony underway, Logan might take the chance to reminisce on that one New Years’ Eve party, where Virgil’s dad circled the building delivering his sincerest emotional wisdom, bolstered by the liquid confidence infecting his veins. Virgil squeezes Logan’s hand once more before letting go, stepping back to make room for the officiant to stand between them.

“Great turnout for a week’s notice!” the officiant declares, expertly clapping his hands together. This earns a light chuckle from the admittedly small crowd. Good ice breaker. Now Logan just has to survive, y’know, the whole rest of the speech. Easier said than done.

“I’ve done many a ceremony in my time,” the officiant continues, “but few have surprised me so thoroughly as this one. I’ve seen couples elope on the spot, plan five years in advance, and pretty much everything else outside and in between. With all that in the tank, it might be hard to believe that never, in all my years, have I seen such a pair as Logan Marcus Walders and Virgil Sandovall.

“Their passion for each other truly surpasses that of all else—and older couples in the audience, please take no offense to my saying so.” Another light laugh. “In truth, you have all come here because, in some way or another, you know this, you understand this, and you believe in this—this being love.” Logan’s breath catches.

“Love is easily one of the most difficult, simple, painful, healing, awful, wonderful, insurmountably beautiful things on this earth. It brings together so many people with so many backgrounds, so many emotions, so many lives, and you pass that on to someone else, and you build each other up beyond what could ever be expected of you on your own.

“This simple ceremony, a few hours’ worth of speeches and declarations and toasts, is not enough to set you on the path down the life you intend to lead, nor is the license of some guy off Craigslist.” Even Logan allows himself to laugh this time. “I kid, of course. But in all sincerity, it is no secret that these two will not continue their lives together without some form of support from the community around them. They may have their love to fuel each other, but the people to whom they turn in times of hardship are some of the strongest people they will have the privilege of knowing. They cannot do this alone, and all of you present surely know the trials that await. Your support will be vital when they find their own strength faltering.” Logan doesn’t have to look to know both of his parents are well past trying to hold back their tears.

“We have reached the point where I ask the both of you to say your vows, and to give your love unto each other. Before that may happen, however, I ask that you think back upon your love—the love built on trust, care, acceptance, and knowing that true strength comes from supporting each other through your weaknesses. Look back on this love, and know that by making these vows, and by keeping these vows, your lives will be forever entwined, far more closely than any one person could ever say. Please now read your vows.”

Logan fights the rising lump in his throat, immediately wishing he’d brought some flashcards to quiet his nerves. He fumbles his hand around behind him, feeling for Roman’s solid grip. Roman grabs his fingers and squeezes them tightly, and Logan sniffles before barreling on with the speech he could probably do in his sleep. It might actually sound more confident if he were unconscious, rather than so solidly aware of every molecule of air separating him from Virgil.

“I, Logan, take you, Virgil, to be my husband, my companion and friend, my universe explorer, and my truest love. I will put all I have into lifting you up, into maintaining what we have, and into fighting the tests of time and change to ensure that our bond is never torn apart by anything we could face together. I—” He hesitates, knowing his bravado is going to crack and knowing there’s nothing he can do about it.

“I love you for—from the bottom of my hurt—heart, and my soul, and my soles, ha, and I—I’ll be by your side, in every sense of the where—word, for as long as I can stand on my own two feet, and—and even after that.” Logan hears his dad sniffle something fierce as he lowers his voice to a whisper, and maybe a tear or two of his own gets out, but he certainly wouldn’t admit to as much if anyone asked. “And no matter how long it takes, I will bring you the moon.” How Virgil has managed to keep his composure for this long is a mystery to Logan, who exhales shakily, his part done for the moment.

“And I, Virgil take you, Logan, to be my husband, my companion and friend, my universe explorer, and my truest love. I will do whatever it takes to remain with you, and I will put aside anything that might stand in the way of your being content, and I will ensure that we can together be at peace. I will stand to see that you never want for anything, and I promise you that I will always be at your side, for as long as you’ll have me.” Virgil drops his own voice, and it would be a crime for Logan to deny the smile weaseling its way onto his face. “And however long it takes, it will still cost you the stars.”

The officiant nods to Virgil’s youngest sibling—a slight girl of almost nine years, her light brown hair done up in a braided nest and crowned with flowers. “May I have the rings, please?” She rises carefully and stares at her feet as she holds the plush velvet pillow straight out in front of herself, poking her tongue out in obvious concentration to not trip on the way up to the stage.

When she reaches the officiant and thrusts the pillow at him, Virgil elbows her in the shoulder. “Not bad, dork.” She pulls a goofy face at him before retreating to her spot in the front row, where her mom pats her back lightly and smiles.

The officiant continues his spiel, looking first to Logan. “Do you, Logan Marcus Walders, take Virgil Sandovall to be your lawfully wedded husband from this day forth? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, in joy and in sorrow, in love and matrimony, for better or worse, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” Logan slips the band onto Virgil’s finger, watching the soft pink light of the sunset catch that familiar promise engraved along the inside. He’s pretty sure he would collapse right about now, were it not for Roman and Virgil on either side to hold him up. Logan is very close to spontaneously imploding. The glittering bow around his neck is the only thing keeping his insides in, to be completely frank.

“And do you, Virgil Sandovall, take Logan Marcus Walders to be your lawfully wedded husband from this day forth? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, in joy and in sorrow, in love and matrimony, for better or worse, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” Tears are pouring freely down Logan’s face now as he watches Virgil slip the wedding band onto his finger, inlaid with that same response. All the stars in the sky couldn’t outshine the swelling of Logan’s heart.

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom!”

Logan almost melts then and there into Virgil’s arms as the latter pulls him into a fierce hug, burying his nose in the puffy material along Logan’s shoulder. Logan takes a steadying breath before leaning back just enough to get a good look at Virgil’s face. At least Logan isn’t the only one crying on stage anymore.

Logan presses his lips to Virgil’s, exhaling softly when he feels Virgil’s hand come to rest on the back of his head. He distantly hears the crowd cheering, distantly hears the officiant take a few respectful steps back, distantly hears Roman clapping louder than anyone else, distantly hears Patton putting his daughter’s hands together for her, distantly hears his whole world clicking deftly into place.

“How’s that for a wedding put together in just a week?” Virgil mumbles, pulling away just enough to whisper the question.

Logan rolls his eyes and laughs, tugging Virgil into another hug and squeezing his back tight enough to feel the ring pressing an indent of words along his finger. “Think we’ve got a reception to get to,” he informs Virgil’s jacket. Virgil laughs, the sound reverberating through Logan’s chest before they finally separate completely, both beaming brighter than the sunset behind them.

Something Logan can only describe as a blurry whirlwind passes as different people shuffle around them, propelling him through the doors of the restaurant and into the dining area set aside for them. The room is blissfully silent, the only sounds coming from him and Virgil leaning on each other as they walk. Everyone else waits respectfully outside, presumably holding back until the head waiter cues for them to come in.

“Bit more showy than we usually go for, no?” Virgil’s voice dances through Logan’s head like a haze of warmth.

Logan laughs and settles on his side as they take their seats, sighing softly. “I liked it.” He holds up his hand, admiring the gleam of silver and gold. “Think this is my favorite part, though.”

“Can’t argue with you there.” Virgil holds his own hand up beside Logan’s, tilting his head to rest it against the top of Logan’s hair. “You ready for even more attention?”

“No, but send them in anyway.” Virgil signals to the waiters beside the doors, who pull them open to allow the sea of guests to flood inside. Logan acknowledges the words of praise and congratulations with small smiles, trying to tamp down the flurry of emotions rising in his chest. Once everyone is seated, the waiters swerve between the chairs to hand out glasses of champagne, as well as sparkling cider to the kids and the adults that ask for it.

“Know what this is?” Virgil mumbles into Logan’s ear.

“Probably not,” Logan replies, watching Virgil’s dad pick up a knife in one hand and his champagne flute in the other.

“The fun part. We just have to sit here and smile.”

“Sounds easy enough.”

Virgil’s dad clinks his glass lightly, waiting for the buzzing crowd to quiet down. Logan barely hears a word out of his mouth, too focused on the weight of Virgil’s arm draped over his shoulders. He must finish at some point, because he sits down as one of Virgil’s sisters rises to clink her own glass. Logan loses track of the order after that, all of his attention squarely on not crying again. That is, until Roman stands up. Then Logan is too terrified to look away.

“Logan Wald—er, Logan Sandov—um.” Roman hesitates, waiting for a cue on which surname to go with.

“I guess we never officially announced that, huh?” Logan mumbles to Virgil. “We still going with option two?”

“I like option two,” Virgil replies.

Logan turns back to Roman. “Combined name. Sandovall and Walders. Sanders.”

“Right. So as I’m sure most of you are aware, I’ve known Logan Sanders for quite a few years now—no newbie could deal with that kind of last minute name change out of nowhere, at least not as well as I did.” This earns a hearty laugh, though that might be due in considerable part to the light buzz from the champagne.

“He’s never made a whole lot of sense to me, nor did he ever promise to. First day I met him, I knew nothing would ever be quite normal with him around. I’ve never met anyone else so ridiculously devoted to every aspect of their life and work, much less to all the smaller calculations and details that bore me to tears. That said, Logan has never been so single-mindedly dedicated to anything as he is to Virgil.

“They’re unbelievably close, more so than Logan ever was with riddles that earned brownie points with his boss, and the day Logan brought up his first date with Virgil was a day I’ll never forget—mostly because he also picked that day to tell me about the second date. And the third, and the fourth, and the several months that went by before he decided to tell us they’d even officially met .” Roman fixes Logan with a pointed stare, prompting him to shift uncomfortably in his seat. “That’s what we in the ’biz call ‘not passing on crucial information,’ a term with which Mr. Sanders here is very familiar.”

Roman raises his glass with a grin, and Logan is pretty sure the look on his face was just ripped wholesale from the iconic image of the titular character in The Great Gatsby. “To the Sanders!”

The cry echoes in a cheerful chorus around the room, everyone toasting with their flutes before dissolving into warm laughter and upbeat conversations.

“To the Sanders,” Logan mumbles, pressing deeper against Virgil’s side.

“To the Sanders,” Virgil agrees.

[lavenderprose]

Fic: Those Bright-Eyed Boys

Title: Those Bright-Eyed Boys Author(s): Lavenderprose Rating: T Summary: Yuuri has no idea how he came to be surrounded by so many different kinds of love.

Notes: Written for Victuuri week Day #1, with the Yuuri prompt: Confessions. Will be cross-posted to AO3 at some point, but not right now because I’m barely getting this in before the day is over and mama needs to slEEP.

Just so y’all know, there’s some past Chuchuyuu (Yuuri/Phichit) in this, but it’s mostly just them being incredibly loving and supporting friends and Yuuri being very deeply an happily in love with his fiance, Viktor Nikiforov.

So, Yuuri's alcohol tolerance is…pretty good. Like, there are several Russians in this club right now and he's keeping up with them pretty well. Is that a stereotype? He isn't sure, but they aren't so different—these people learned to drink on spirits, same as Yuuri did. He and Phichit ran bad, bad vodka through a Brita filter and put it in water bottles and carried them in coat pockets to parties where they mixed it with punch, orange juice, coconut Margarita mix—anything cloyingly sweet that would mask the taste. Something that wouldn't taste horrible if it came back out the same way it went in. It took a lot of trial and error to figure out where their limits laid, and sometimes Yuuri still fucks up. Getting wine drunk at the 2015 banquet is still at the tippy top of his list of Worst things I've ever done, literally, ever. He was hungover for three days and spent most of the flight home wrapped around the airplane toilet to the point where a man who Yuuri is pretty sure was an air marshal asked him where his parents were.

Because Yuuri didn't and still doesn't look twenty-four. The same ageless quality is the reason Phichit started wearing eyeliner.

But yeah. Yuuri Katsuki? Pretty accomplished drinker. Not exactly something he'd tell his parents or the Japanese press, but not exactly something he's ashamed  of either.

So when he shouts, "I'm not drunk!" in Viktor's ear as they're dancing, Viktor laughs and probably doesn't believe him, but Yuuri is telling the truth.

"Look, okay—so, okay—my twenty-first birthday, Phichit and I got, like…oh boy, tequila? And there was a worm in it. I'm not even kidding, it was a real worm—"

"Mexican Town is a wild fucking place," Phichit says, appearing suddenly at Yuuri's back. This club is playing mostly American pop music for some reason, so with Phichit there it feels almost exactly like old times. The song is periodically telling everyone to make their hands clap.

"Phichit, tell Viktor I'm not drunk," Yuuri says to his friend, leaning back against him and turning his head to yell against Phichit's face. Phichit is familiar and soft and smells like the apartment Yuuri moved out of over a year ago. Viktor is kind and laughing and there is a look on his face like the first time he saw Yuuri do Eros.

"Yuuri still has his shirt on," Phichit tells Viktor, now essentially wrapped about Yuuri like some sort of large and friendly snake. "So he's not drunk. You don't know what drunk looks like until you've seen Yuuri after eating a tequila worm."

"We split it," Yuuri insists, tugging on Viktor's shirt until he's pressing against his front, still laughing. Yuuri laughs with him because he's so happy. He just won silver at the Grand Prix Final, he's engaged to Viktor Nikiforov (Who's beautiful and amazingly kind and very good to him and also: the love of Yuuri's life) and his very best friend in the whole wide world was here to see all of it happen. "I only had half. I was drunk for two days."

"I saw God," Phichit adds, and then screams because the song has changed and it's one of those songs that Yuuri will forever associate with half-remembered nights in the basement of a club on Michigan Avenue, riding home slumped across Phichit's lap with slim fingers combing his hair back and giggling, the smell of forty degrees in Michigan in February. "Yuuri! This is our song! Viktor, this is mine and Yuuri's song! This was the first American song I heard!"

"I'll let you have him for it, then," Viktor says. "I'm going to get some water." He looks so happy. Yuuri can't deal with it. He kisses him, his fiancé, and then twirls around into Phichit, who laughs and wraps his arms around him and swings him around. Their hair is still slicked back from the free skate earlier. Phichit is sort of unbearably handsome with his hair combed back that way, his kind and expressive eyes with a fine outline of his usual black liner.

"I'm so happy for you," Phichit gushes, tilting him backwards. "You're engaged! You're going to be married, Yuuri!" He says something in Thai that is probably congratulatory.

"I know," Yuuri laughs. Phichit straightens him back up and they spin. Dancing with Phichit feels familiar, and good, and nice after all of the (Wonderful, frightening, sublime) excitement and strangeness of the last few weeks. If Viktor's fresh perspective and new love is the compass Yuuri needs to find within himself a better and happier person, then Phichit's comfort and reassurance is the path that Yuuri will follow towards it.

As the song ends, Yuuri kisses Phichit, smiling against his lips. It's something he's done hundreds of times. Phichit smiles back at him when he pulls away.

"I love you," Yuuri tells him, wondering if a simple three words can convey the depth of feeling he has for his best friend.

"I love you too," Phichit tells him, eyes kind and soft. "And I'm…so glad that you finally found someone who can love you the way you want to be loved. I want you to be so happy, Yuuri."

The sting of happy tears builds up behind Yuuri's eyes and in his throat. Thickly, he says, "I am happy. I don't think I've ever been this happy."

"Good," Phichit says, wrapping his arms tight around Yuuri's shoulders.

They pull away when the jostling of the crowd grows too violent, and by unspoken agreement Yuuri trips his way towards where Viktor disappeared to while Phichit spins back into the crowd, engulfed in moments. Yuuri finds Viktor on a barstool slightly removed from the dancefloor and somehow, probably because the floors of this place are their own special hazard, crashes between his spread knees. Viktor bursts out laughing and catches him by the fabric over his shoulder.

"Here, darling, drink this," Viktor says, handing him a large and full glass of water. There is another glass, half-full, by his elbow.

Yuuri takes the glass and downs half of it in one go, not realizing how parched he was until the cool water hit the back of his throat. Viktor stops him from drinking too much of it at once, taking his wrist in hand and gently maneuvering the glass back onto the bar and Yuuri to lean against his chest.

"Really, I swear, I'm not drunk," Yuuri mumbles against his shoulder. Viktor's hand is big and warm on his back, reassuring. "The universe is just conspiring to make you think I am." He turns his face into Viktor's neck, inhales the smell of his cologne and feels happiness trickle up and down his spine. Tomorrow is the gala, when they will debut their partner skate and Yuuri will fulfill a lifelong fantasy in front of hundreds of people. Skating on the same ice as Viktor Nikiforov. Skating with Viktor Nikiforov, dancing beside each other.

Viktor kisses the top of his head. "I believe you."

Yuuri grumbles and turns around, leaning back between Viktor's thighs with the edge of the seat digging into his back. Viktor wraps his arms around his waist, chin hooked over his shoulder, and Yuuri has never felt so warm and loved as he does in that moment. He feels wanton with it, like a slut—but only for affection, and only from Viktor Nikiforov.

"I haven't seen you dance like that since the Gala," Viktor murmurs in his ear.

"Hm," Yuuri hums, tilting his head to the side. "Phichit's the person I learned all of that from." That and a pole dancing teacher named Moxie whose class Phichit had dragged him to half a dozen times his last year in Detroit, but it'll be a cold day in Hell (Or a warm day in Siberia) before Viktor learns that particular tidbit.

Viktor presses a long, hot kiss to Yuuri's cheek. "I think you must have had a love affair with our friend Mr. Chulanont."

Yuuri stiffens immediately, spinning back around in the circle of Viktor's arms. "I—Viktor, I would never—"

"Oh, Yuuri, no," Viktor presses a hand to his face, shaking his head. "I didn't mean it that way, love. I meant—I don't know what I meant, sometimes I speak without thinking." He presses a kiss to Yuuri's forehead, gentler than the one previous.

Yuuri closes his eyes and bites his lip, drops his hands to Viktor's lap. This is his fiancé, the man he's going to marry. Doesn't he deserve to have full disclosure? Even though the idea of telling him some of these things makes Yuuri's anxiety spike, his blood pressure double, his palms sweat? How will Viktor feel, knowing that Yuuri is routinely alone with a man whose bed he frequented for longer than he and Viktor have known each other?

"I wouldn't really call it a love affair," Yuuri mumbles, playing with the buttons on Viktor's shirt.

"You don't have to tell me," Viktor says. His hand goes to Yuuri's chin, tilting it up. "It's okay, darling."

Goddamn it. What is it about this man and making him cry? Yuuri is beginning to think that he's cursing himself to a life of weepiness, marrying Viktor. He'll be buried under pillows daily, just fucking sobbing, and Viktor will have people over and be forced to say Oh, that's just my husband, he's a bit emotional—don't slip in the puddles.

"Phichit isn't like that," Yuuri says quickly, just to get it out before he thinks better of it. "We—you should probably know that we…before I met you, before I moved back to Japan, we were—having sex. A lot. And we didn't really, um, break up. I just—I moved back to Japan and that was, um, now things ended. But we were never—we didn't date. Phichit doesn't, um, do romance, I guess? He's the friendliest person I know, the best friend I have, and he's—I know he loves me, but not…not like that." He reaches up and straightens out Viktor's collar for the utter lack of anything else to do with his hands. "I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry I didn't before."

Viktor's hand trails up his back, fingers against the dip of his spine. When Yuuri chances an upward glance, Viktor's eyes are soft, the line of his mouth gentle. He asks, "Did you love him?" in a way that says he might be, in an odd way, commiserating with Yuuri. Like he is speaking not as Yuuri's fiancé, but as a person who understands what it is to have felt for someone something that they couldn't return. Yuuri doesn't know how he got in this situation. He has gone from admiring Viktor Nikiforov from afar, knowing all the while that he would probably never even hold a full conversation with the man, to standing between his knees in a crowded bar, Viktor's promise on his finger and blue eyes boring into him, asking to be his confidant.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Yuuri whispers.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." Viktor's forehead touches his, their eyes now too close together to focus. An elephant could run through the room, and Yuuri would have been none the wiser. If he looked up in a moment and realized that the world had come to a calamitous end around them, he might not even be concerned. Viktor's breath is on his lips, telling him, "I want to know everything about you. Even the parts you don't like to think about. That way, I can think about them for you—and love them, even though you can't."

There go the tears. The first one drops down his cheek. The second sneaks into the crease of his nose and stays there, gross and wet and uncomfortable.

"I did," Yuuri whispers. He licks a third tear off of his lips, tasting salt. "There was a while where I thought…maybe I could be happy. Just being around him, being affected by his presence, his…happiness. Because I didn't think that I would ever get anything better than that—someone who made me feel happy, and took me to bed, and felt about me the same way I felt about them. Two out of three wasn't bad, you know?"

"Did you tell him this?"

"No," Yuuri snorts. "I knew how he was. One of the first things he told me was that he didn't understand people getting married and only being with one person their entire lives. Phichit wants to meet people and make them his friends and have a big group of people that he loves and supports, not just one person. He wants to…roll around in bed with handsome men and not feel obligated to call the next morning. He loves people. He's kind, and someday he'll probably settle down in an apartment with a few friends and he'll be happy like that. But I don't see him ever devoting himself to one person. Not in the way I've always seen myself doing. Not the way I want to do with you."

Viktor kisses him then, not to interrupt but to agree—to tell Yuuri that yes, that's what he wants too, that he isn't alone. Yuuri loves him, God he loves him.

"Don’t think less of him," Yuuri implores.

"How could I?" Viktor murmurs. Their hands lace together; Viktor brings his mouth to Yuuri's ring. He's only had that ring for three days and already, he thinks he might die if he lost it. "He loved you until I could."

Yuuri wraps his arms around Viktor's shoulders and presses his hot face into his neck, weeping. "I love you." There's a woman behind Viktor who probably can't speak English and looks pretty alarmed at this red-faced crying man hanging off her seat neighbor, but she seems disinclined to comment. Yuuri closes his eyes and breathes.

"I love you too," Viktor says, kissing his neck, cheek, ear, hair. "My Yuuri. My darling."

He eventually pulls away and drinks the other half of that glass of water. The music is still pounding, and the tears gave him a headache and he's starving, but he thinks this might be one of the best nights of his life.

"Heeey!" Phichit crashes through the crowd, dragging along an unfamiliar man by the hand. The unfamiliar man is taller than even Viktor, Mediterranean with a slightly homely face but piercing blue eyes that make him strangely beautiful, and a friendly, uninhibited expression. Phichit gestures to him, somehow using the same hand he's holding onto him with. "I found you guys! This is Thomas."

"Tomás," corrects the man in a kind tone, obviously unconcerned. He probably wouldn't be able to pronounce Phichit's name either; Yuuri couldn't his first hundred or so tries.

"Right! Sorry." Phichit points to Yuuri. "This is Yuuri, my best friend."

"Hi," Yuuri says, falling back in shyness now that he has more water in his belly than vodka, still feeling the residual tear trails on his cheeks.

"And this is his fiancé, Viktor." Viktor and Tomás shake hands, both exchanging accented greetings. "Yuuri's the silver medalist, and Viktor's his coach. They just got engaged the other day." To Viktor and Yuuri, he says, "Tomás was telling me that his friend runs a tapas bar not far from here, and that she'll give us half off our food if we show her Yuuri's medal."

"You could show her your engagement ring instead," Tomás says, gesturing to the ring on Yuuri's finger. "A medal, an engagement, both are to be celebrated. Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Yuuri says. To Viktor, he says, "I'm starved, what about you?"

"Always in the mood for tapas," Vikor says, nudging Yuuri the barest minimum of distance away to stand up. He waves a hand towards Tomás. "Lead the way."

They gather Mila and Otabek on the way out, and Viktor ends up at the front of the group, probably telling his life story to Tomás as they walk because that's just what he does. In about ten minutes, Tomás' friend the bar owner is going to recognize Viktor from one of his international ads and he's going to spend twenty minutes signing autographs and taking pictures, but for right now he's just being the friendly person he naturally is.

"Are you okay?" Phichit asks, walking beside him at the back of the group. He hand goes to Yuuri's elbow. "You look like you've been crying?"

"I'm fine," Yuuri says, and means it for once. He lets a smile break across his face. "I'm…the best I've ever been, I think."

Phichit's eyes dart over his face, examining, then breaks out in a smile of his own. "Same. I fucking love Spain."

"Well, it beats Downriver," Yuuri says.

They laugh. Yuuri doesn't know how he got so lucky, to be surrounded by so many different types of love.

[literalcreativeidiot]

Cutting the Cord. || January 26th, 2017.

((Read this, then this and then you’re ready for part 3. Read the first two? Okay, good; on to part 3.))

When the door slammed shut, he took a moment to just stand there and stare wordlessly. He did a quick mental inventory as his eyes scanned over at the broken glass on the ground - both pets had been accounted for, neither of them would be in danger of trampling over broken glass. So he grabbed a broom and dustpan and began cleaning up the bits of glass that were scattered on the ground.

“See? I was right about her; selfish. All to make her look better and make me look worse.”

In the time between Maxine’s abrupt exit and him cleaning up, Derrick had forgotten that his mother was still within his presence. And just hearing her voice was almost bile-inducing. The smugness, the arrogance, the “me me me” nature that she had falsely heaped on Maxine was really shining through in her tone of voice and it all but sickened him. Ah, yes; there was that feeling of utter contempt returning back from whence it came.

He stood upright, one hand tightly grasping the handle of the broom - so much so that his grip was almost white knuckled - as he breathed deeply. The worst kept secret about Derrick McDonald was that he’s an emotional guy; when he’s happy, he’s an expressive beam of light to people around him. Magnanimous charm radiating through. When he was feeling down, he was pensive yet morose but when he was angry - actually livid and not pissed at something - the weirdest thing happened.

He was calm. Measured. As if he was calculating just when to let the explosive volcano of ill-tempered feelings burst through and where. And so he breathed deeply, nostrils flared, shoulders raising and lowering at a steady rhythm as he just stared at a picture that was in his line of sight. It was a photo of him and Maxine from their vacation to Los Angeles last August and he remembered just the circumstances behind it. They had been over the house of one of their mutual friends for a day party and the joy and elation - sheer happiness about being there together - was shown in the picture. He couldn’t take his eyes off it for several moments until he shut them tight, clenching his jaw.

“….that’s what you took from it? That? Are you being fucking serious with me right now?!”

Anyone who was within earshot of the two could hear how incredulous he sounded. He turned to look at her, his jaw hanging some as he stared at her, words failing to form in his head.

“You…” He began to walk over to her, his index finger extended in her direction, “You stood there and listened to her. Listened to the hurt, anger, pain in her voice - saw genuine emotion in her eyes - and all you took from it was that she’s selfish? And making it about her? Trying to tear you down? I’d say it’s unbelievable if I hadn’t seen this type of behavior from you.”

There was disgust in his voice; absolute, unquestionable disgust behind his words as they flew out of his mouth. He was getting progressively angrier with each moment he stood in front of her, which caused his words to flow out in a more deliberate, precise and measured cadence.

“She tells you how she spent nights awake with me and you call her ‘selfish’. She tells you she’s been there for me when no one else would answer a phone call, and you say she’s trying to make herself look better. She tells you she found me literally dying, and you stand there, making it about you. What the fuck?!”

He couldn’t take it. It bubbled up within him and he just couldn’t suppress it as he launched the broom to the ground with a loud crack as it hit the tiled floor of the kitchen. His hands moved to rub his temples, eyes wide as he began pacing back and forth.

The sudden feeling of deja vu was strong within him. She had done this before: Having succeeded in breaking him only to leave him, and anyone else around him, picking up the pieces. Only difference was he was ahead of it somewhat, doing his best to keep himself in check.

“Do you not see that her bringing that up is her trying to hold that over me? Over you? Do you not get that because of her you’re…you’re like this?”

“I’ve been like this,” He moved his hands up and down his body to gesture at his entire being, “since I was nine-Goddamn-years-old. I’ve been like this since that day myself, Casey, and Kat all had to watch you break our father. Callously…heartlessly break him and not say a Goddamn word to either of us as you left.”

“So it’s my fault that you’re like this? You can’t keep blaming me for whatever problems you and your little girlfriend encounter in your lives. At some point, you need to take accountability for your own actions.”

“At some point, you need to reckon with the fact that a decade ago, my fiance found me with blood coming from my wrist and had she not sprung into action, we wouldn’t be having his conversation because it was what you did - or didn’t do - that caused me to die. Do I need to spell it out for you in plainer terms than that? I’ll help: I. Tried. To. Kill. Myself. Because. Of. You.”

He laid his cards out on the table for her to see. Raw, unfiltered and without any pleasantries or any softening of the language. He stared at her but she didn’t have the courage to make eye contact. Instead, she reached out to grab his wrist to inspect the tattoo he had over the scar that had long since healed over but still served as a small, but big, reminder of what happened. She only got a chance to graze her thumb over it once before Derrick pulled his arm away abruptly.

“Did…I…you…oh, my God; I’m so sorry. I had no idea this even happened. I thought she was making it up but oh, my God, I feel terrible.”

“….no. No, you don’t get to be a victim in this. You don’t get to make this out to be you being an ignorant party - especially when you believe that she’d make something like that up just to spite you. How dare you? Just...how dare you?”

He wasn’t giving her any room to shovel her shit in. Her words rang hollow to him; her sincerity and remorse sounding more and more disingenuous and downright offensive to his sensibilities. Where once she would’ve been able to burrow her way into his head, this time? He recognized just what she was doing and met it head on.

"You...you ran off the woman who’s essentially my wife. Someone who’s done something you can’t: Love me unconditionally and not trying to do things to hurt me, be it knowingly or unknowingly. My wife - who I share this apartment with, who I share pets with, who...was pregnant with my child until nature decided to be a bigger bitch than you - left because you just couldn’t help yourself when it came to trying and break her. Make her feel so unwelcome that she had to leave her own damn home.”

“She is not your wife.” Julie spat out, indignant at the mere notion of Maxine being her daughter-in-law.

“In this conversation, for all intents and purposes? She is. She means so much to me that despite her and I not even setting a date for our wedding, I consider her my wife. And I am now faced with the fact that I have no idea when she’s getting back here or if she even wants to talk to me. And it’s because of you.”

He grabbed a seat at the island in the kitchen, plunking his elbow down on the surface while his hand thoroughly rubbed the thick facial hair along his cheeks and jaw line, grimacing with annoyance.

“Because of me? She walks out on you in a selfish, damsel-in-distress display and you say it’s because of me? Her being a melodramatic harpy is because of me? That’s rich.”

“No, what’s rich is you being so blind by hatred that you can’t see how truly hurt she is. Period. Like...do you ever wonder why she reacts to you the way she does? It’s not because she saw how you treated me and feels immense empathy even though that’s part of it. It’s because, man...she tries.”

His voice went silent for a few brief moments, chewing at his bottom lip as he stared at the marbled surface in front of him.

“I know what I’m saying to you means nothing but she’s been trying to...to see the good in you and give you the benefit of doubt and every time, you give her a reason to react to you in that way. At some point, you have to realize that if you keep forcing someone’s hand like that...they’re gonna do something you won’t like.”

He saw her open her mouth to speak but held his hand up to silence her. Her words meant nothing and he, more than anyone else, didn’t want to hear them anymore. Not on this subject.

"I’ve seen her cry out of anger and frustration over the fact that she’s tried biting her tongue whenever you were a miserable person toward her even though she did nothing but try and extend the olive branch. And yet, despite everything she feels toward you, she wants me to be happy. And holding her tongue, she stood by me when I said I wanted to at least try and give you the benefit of doubt. Where did that lead? You running her off. You running off my wife. Congrats. You won.”

They were silent for another few moments, both allowing the gravity of his words to settle in. Turning his head, Derrick looked over his shoulder at Julie, letting out a deep breath.

“You should leave. Just...you’ve done enough; go. I’m done. With you...with everything. Just leave.”

He faced forward, eyes on the kitchen cabinets ahead of him as he heard his mother silently leaving the apartment. The door shut softly, a far cry from it being slammed shut just earlier in the night. He was finally able to breathe, tipping his head back to let out a loud exhale, fingers drumming along the surface of the counter.

At this point, he didn’t know what to do. He was lost, and the one person he wanted to talk to more than likely wanted nothing to do with him, and he didn’t blame her. So he just sat there and stared.