#literally nauseous in the car rn

[robobee]

i dont have a social security number of my own pozzi i'll buy you one you can wear it in place of a ring

[v3nusstardust]

🤍”Somethin’ stupid”🤍

Pairing : BF!Niki Nishimura x DEPRESSEDreader! (Real) 🎀

Genre : fluff <3 sad af tho idfk what the genre is

WARNINGS : mentions of self harm, depression, anxiety

A/N : SRRY I usually post like once a week and I forgot to this week I think… Idrk I literally have a fucking concussion rn💀 happened bcs lowkey thought I was in a music video and did cartwheels in my room at 3 am and smacked the shit out of my head and then hit my head on the floor and woke up seeing Gojo Satoru shakin ass 💀😜 anyway enjoy yawl😳

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In the car with your boyfriend Niki, heading to the movie theater, the atmosphere was perfect –soft music, and a feeling that made life worthwhile. It had been a month since you’d seen him. These small moments you had with Niki made your life worth living. Most of the time he was busy or away for his idol duties and you’d miss him so badly. You would wonder if him being away for so long would end up with you both breaking up or you both falling out of love. The thought always made you feel nauseous and overwhelmed. Your overthinking would get the best of you sometimes, and you would result to self harm. Niki had no idea though and you never planned on telling him.

"Y/n, you might want to ditch the hoodie; it's getting pretty warm in here. You're sweating," your boyfriend chuckled, casting a glance your way. "No kidding, it's hot as hell." You sighed wiping your forehead with your sleeve. As you started to pull down the zipper your hoodie, the memories of your scars made you hesitate. “Actually I’m fine. I can handle it.” You reassured Niki. “Huh? Don’t risk a heat stroke, take it off,” he insisted, concern etching his face. “No I’m literally gonna be fine trust me.” You countered, zipping your hoodie back up quickly. “Y/n. It’s the middle of summer and you’re wearing a hoodie darling. You might wanna take it off.” Niki suggested, a puzzled look was painted on his face. “I’m gonna be alright trust me.” You gave Niki a sweet smile, trying to look unsuspicious. “Whatever you say Y/n.” Your boyfriend sighed.

You and Niki finally arrived at the movie theater. You checked in, got tickets, got snacks and headed to your movie. The air-conditioned theater promised relief from the summer heat, but your hoodie remained a steadfast companion.

Inside the cool, dimly lit theater, you found your seats, the contrast between the chilly air and your hoodie creating a cozy bubble. The movie previews flickered on the screen, and the scent of buttered popcorn filled the air.

Niki leaned over and whispered, "Are you sure you won't overheat in there?..”

“It’s cool in here Niki! I’m fine.” You softly giggled. The movie began, and you got so into it that the hoodie wasn't on your mind anymore. The plot grabbed your attention, and the cozy warmth just blended into the background.

Midway through the movie, Niki gently reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. Your initial reaction was surprise; you were aware of Niki's habit for tracing his fingers along your palms and wrists. Softly pushing his hand away, you met his gaze. He looked absolutely ethereal in the dim theater lighting.

"Do you not want to hold hands?" Niki whispered, pouting with a hint of sadness.

"I do, just... not right now," you replied. Niki's worried expression prompted him to ask, "Is there something wrong?"

You hesitated before responding, "No, no, I just... don't worry about it."

Your words, though intended to reassure, unintentionally stabbed at Niki's heart. His love for you was profound, and while he knew he could be clingy, he never imagined it could "annoy you." The worry in his eyes lingered as the movie played on.

You both went back to the apartment after the movie. The car ride was quiet because you pretended to be asleep, avoiding a talk about why you didn't hold hands. Niki spent the entire ride overthinking what he might have done wrong.

“Niki. I’m gonna go take a shower.” You said, walking off to your room to get your clothes. “Oh okay. I’ll make you some tea for when you get out.” He replied.

When you stepped in the shower, the warm water stung your fresh cuts. You held your wrists and winced in pain, small tears ran down your cheeks. Staring at your wrists, you wondered how you could be so stupid. You regret doing it , because now Niki might see them. The thought made you softly cry. Thank God the shower water was loud enough to cover up your soft muttering and sighs.

After your shower, you returned to the kitchen. Niki was busy cooking dinner and brewing tea for both of you, a delightful surprise that warmed your heart. Soft music played from his speaker next to the stove.

Curious, you asked, "What are you making?" Sitting at the table, he chuckled and replied, "Pasta, I’m trying out new things." The song changed to your favorite, "Somethin’ Stupid” by Frank Sinatra. Excitedly, you exclaimed, "Niki, you added my favorite song to your playlist!"

With a smile, he admitted, "I really like this song. Isn't it your favorite?" You giggled, "Duh! I play it all the time in your car." Niki turned off the stove and approached you. "Is the food ready?" you inquired. "Not yet, but how about we dance?" he suggested, extending his hand with a gentle smile, eyes filled with admiration.

In the soft glow of the dim kitchen light, you and Niki began to slow dance. The soothing melody of the song filled the air as he held you close. The ambiance was warm, and the subtle scent of dinner in the making lingered.

Niki led with gentle grace, swaying to the music with you in a tranquil dance. The rhythmic steps mirrored the easy connection between you two, the worries of the day fading away in the embrace of the moment. His hand rested on the small of your back, fingers delicately entwined with yours. As you swayed together, his other hand found its place on your waist, the closeness allowing you to feel the comforting warmth of his touch. The subtle aroma of the cooking dinner heightened the sensory experience.

Niki's gaze, brimming with stars and admiration, locked onto yours as he gently took your hand in his. However, reality snapped you back, and a sudden fear of him discovering your self infliction made you pull away. You pulled your hand away from his gently. Niki stopped dancing with you, his eyes locked onto yours with concern. "I'm sorry for asking, but why don't you want me to hold your hand?" he inquired.

A tremor ran through you, fear intensifying. Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before admitting, "I... I just," struggling to find the right words. The fear of Niki discovering your scars weighed heavy on your mind.

After a moment, you decided to face it. "Actually, you know what? Hold hands with me," you said, mustering a smile and intertwining your fingers with his. It was a fleeting decision, hoping that the dance would end before he’d notice. He brought a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Your hair smells good.” He nestled his nose into your hair. The song made the moment vulnerable. You found yourself forgetting about all your worries once again. He brought his lips to your wrist, you didn’t even catch it either. You were too busy humming the melody of the song into his chest. Niki pressed his lips to your wrist. He quickly pulled back and examined if, squinting his eyes. You suddenly realized what he was doing. You pulled away from his arms and held your wrist. His face looked indescribable. Worried, sad, confused all at the same time. The song had stopped already, and the room fell silent. "Y/n," Niki uttered softly, his voice carrying a mixture of concern and care. Before he could say more, your lips began to quiver, and tears welled up in your lashes. A gentle cascade of tears spilled from your eyes.

Niki, swift in his response, hurried over and enveloped you in a warm embrace. His chin rested on your head, and his hand traced soothing circles on your back. Anxiety gripped you like a constricting fog, the weight on your chest almost suffocating. Tears stained Niki's once-white shirt, but he paid it no mind.

"It's okay. I'm not upset," he reassured, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head. "My poor, beautiful girl. When did you do that?" he asked, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. Your hyperventilating made it challenging to speak, rendering you silent in the vulnerability of the moment.

Your hyperventilation began to subside, allowing you to regain some composure. "I..was just.. overthinking," you finally managed to admit, your voice still shaky.

Niki's expression softened, a mixture of empathy and a determination to be there for you. “Was it because of me?” he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear that lingered on your cheek.

You hesitated, the weight of your emotions pressing against your chest. "Yes?... no," you stumbled over your words, struggling to articulate the whirlwind within. "I just miss you so much when you're gone for so long. I feel so lonely again. You're... you're my only light, and the only one in my life who actually makes me happy. I can't stand it when you're away."

Niki's gaze held a depth of understanding as he gently cradled your face. "Y/n, I didn't realize. I'm here for you, always. I’ll bring you with me next time, and the next one after that. I promise my love,” he reassured. His words soothed the ache within your heart. “I’ll be back,” Niki gently pulled his body away from yours. “I’m gonna go get bandages from the bathroom. Sit down,” he kissed your cheek before leaving the room.

When Niki returned, you couldn't help but chuckle at the state of his shirt, soaked with tear and snot stains – undeniably gross. Standing in front of you, he gently took hold of both your injured wrists, his eyes carrying a mix of hurt and pain. Soft elastic bandages in hand, he began to wrap your wrists with a delicate touch.

As he worked, you noticed a subtle glisten in his eyes. His fingers traced along the palms of your wrists, a silent acknowledgment of shared pain. You looked up at him with teary eyes and saw the vulnerability in his gaze.

"Promise me you'll never do this again," he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. Small tears escaped his eyes, tracing down his cheeks. Overwhelmed, you apologized, "I... I'm sorry. I promise. I'm so sorry."You rose from your chair, embracing Niki tightly, the shared pain and promise binding you together in that moment. “I love you so much darling you have no idea. To know that you’ve been hurting yourself like this.. it kills me.” He whispered softly. “I love you too, Niki.” You placed a soft kiss to his chin.

"Do you wanna finish making dinner, and then we can cuddle after?" you proposed.

As Niki's sniffles gradually subsided, a tender smile graced his face, the corners of his eyes still dampened. Niki's smile widened as he looked down at you. "Of course," he agreed, his head tilting slightly. In that gentle tilt, he closed the distance, leaning in for a long, reassuring kiss.

Together, you continued with the meal, the kitchen filled with the comforting aroma of food and music. You showed Niki more songs you liked and he added them to y’all’s new slow dancing playlist.

As you placed the finishing touches on the meal, Niki slid his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "Smells amazing in here, thank you for helping me darling.”

The conversation during dinner went smoothly. You both talked about stories of the past and dreams for the future. Niki's eyes, still holding a glimmer of tenderness, locked onto yours, reinforcing the unspoken understanding that this moment, amidst shared laughter and a table filled with love, was truly special.

Cuddling on the couch, the outside world faded away, leaving room for the intimacy of shared comfort. “You’re so pretty y/n” Niki admired your facial features. The smell of his fresh Basil and mandarin cologne brought you comfort. You threw your leg over his and snuggled closer onto him. He could feel your soft breaths on his neck. Niki peppered kisses on your temples. He was humming a gentle tune to one of your favorite songs. The moment made you realize how lucky you were to be with someone like him.

A/n : erm I literally fell asleep writing this w my hard ass fit on and makeup bruh my skin is breaking out hella someone come kill me. Srry for the amount of mistakes btw I did not read over it 🤓🤓 I raw dogged this it might be shitty Also I hope y’all liek:3 i put my whole venussy into this. Xoxo💋💋

[talaok]

More jamie x reader x joseph content please. I'm literally drooling and growling at your fic about them. God even these stupid fucking emojis can't describe what I'm going through rn >:|

Pairing: Jamie Campbell bower x Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: This is a sequel to stressed but you can read this without having read that. basically, you are at the fan expo Canada instead of Grace Van Dien, and Jamie and joe want to replicate what happened last time.

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex( female receiving), bit of fingering, and...anal

A/n: This is loooong but trust me it's worth it. Also disclaimer, I wrote the first part half-drunk(dignitosamente brilla) so beware. Yes, this is a 3 months old request and no, I do not care God, I wanna go to sleep.

Having fun

"Hi" you whispered awkwardly as you arrived backstage. You'd had a problem with the car and now you were late. Everyone was waiting for you, ready to announce the beginning of the panel. You were mortified and angry at yourself as you stood there in front of Joe, Jamie, and Finn, expecting them to be mad or at least annoyed for making them wait, but to your surprise, you were met with the complete opposite reaction. "Hi y/n" Finn greeted you with a smile, immediately going in for a hug. You felt relieved, suddenly feeling able to breathe normally again. "Hi darling" Jaime said, placing a hand on your back, taking you by surprise. "Hi sweetheart" Joe's low voice made you turn your attention to him as you were politely smiling at Jamie. Joe was leaning back on the wall, looking at you with a slight smirk. All this worrying about being late and you had forgotten about what you really needed to be stressed about. You could feel the ability to breathe normally disappear again. "We were worried" Jamie said in a low voice. "Yeah y/n, we were really missing you"Joe added We. You knew what the sentence meant grammatically, but you couldn't help but see another sense to it. You knew what we, really meant. It had been a while since you had seen Jamie and Joseph, and well... your last encounter hadn't been exactly the most usual. It wasn't every day you got fucked by both your cast mates. You had no idea how they were gonna handle the situation. Maybe they wanted to pretend that nothing happened, maybe they had forgotten about it, or maybe they didn't even think of it as much. You had no clue, and so you decided to just follow the direction they were going in. "I-I'm sorry I'm late" you cleared your throat" I had a problem with the car" you explained shyly. "Oh it's fine" Finn said reassuringly. "all that matters is that you're here now" Joe said, stepping closer to you. "Yes, that's right" Jaime agreed, stroking your back with his thumb. "Mh-mh" Joe smiled as he brought his hand up to caress your cheek. Oh fuck, you thought just as you heard your names getting called on stage.

For the first time in your life, you were relieved to be interviewed. As much as you hated being the center of attention and having people looking at you expectedly every single time they asked a question, and as much as you hated the weight on your chest when you looked at the audience, as they waited for you to say the most extraordinary thing they ever heard in their life. It was all much better than the alternative. All it took was one second of being in the same room with  Jamie and Joe, and you had already forgotten how a normal human being acts.  And as if that wasn't enough, your original plan had failed miserably. You wanted to see how they were gonna act so you could have just followed their lead. But, since that stupid car decided to arrive late, you now had no idea how they wanted to handle the situation. The greeting had been very weird, to say the least. But the problem was that you didn't know if they were flirting with you, making fun of you, or if that was just the way they had always acted, and you were just now noticing it.  You were feeling nauseous and at the same time, you wanted to cry. You had spent the past week angry at yourself for having made such a stupid decision. At the moment it felt like a good thing they were both so hot and you hadn't really thought about the consequences. For all you knew, that was the last time you were gonna see each other. But as it turns out, your plan wasn't so foolproof since you were part of the same TV show,  that was still on air. You wished you could be chill about this, and not be bothered by it, you really really wished you could just chuckle thinking about what had happened, but that wasn't you. What was you, was panicking just at the thought of having both of them sitting beside you, one on each side. God, it was like they were doing it on purpose. "princess" a faint whisper startled you. You widened your eyes and turned your head to the right, finding in front of you Joe with an amused look on his face, his lips twisted up in a thin grin. "She asked you a question" he whispered, holding the mic far from him. "oh" you said mortified "I-I'm sorry" you smiled, trying to salvage the situation "W-what was the question?" you turned towards the interviewer. "oh don't worry" she waved her hand to emphasize her words, "I asked you about the recent press tour you went on in Brazil. How was the country and how was it being left alone with these two?" she asked, nodding towards Jamie and Joe. You have got to be fucking kidding me. You were certain your cheeks were the same color as what the flames of hell probably look like. You swallowed nervously as you kept your eyes on her, desperately trying not to make eye contact with the men beside you. It was like you could feel the smirks on their faces. "I-I" you cleared your throat. just be professional y/n, and pretend for a second that nothing happened. It really isn't that hard. you smiled nervously"Well, Brazil was amazing, really, and so were the people there. And you know, Jamie and Joseph are-are great, so... yeah, everything was good" you finally did it. "Just good?" Joe asked, a wide grin on his face. You were gonna kill him. "Yeah, from what I remember, you seemed to think it was more than just good" Jamie added, with the same expression as the other fucker. Oh please, not him too. You gulped, trying to at least look like you were breathing normally. "I-I, N-no you are right." you gave in, trying to make them stop. "It was actually really good" you said, staring at your shoes. "That's better" Joe whispered to you. Making an involuntary familiar feeling pool in your lower belly. Oh, you were so fucked.

"Guys, I gotta go, it was really fun though. We should hang out more often." Finn said, standing up. Oh no, your life jacket was escaping. You were sat on some couches in a room backstage. After the panel had finished you had decided to stay together a bit more and obviously you had found yourself sandwiched between guess who? You guessed. them. And that hadn't been that much of a problem because Finn was there, but it wasn't looking so good now. "Already? We see each other so little" you asked Finn, trying to persuade him to stay "I know, I'm sorry, but I really gotta go" he said with a sad smile. You smiled anyway, you didn't want to push it and make him feel guilty or anything. "It's nothing Finn, it was really nice seeing you"  "You too" he hugged you before leaving. Now the fun started, and by fun, I mean absolute panic. The room fell silent the moment the door closed. "I-I should probably go" you said. "But sweetheart" Joe placed a hand on your back "we just got here" You swallowed thickly. "I know,b-but I'm tired" "you are not avoiding us, are you y/n?" Jamie asked, amusement clear in his voice. "N-no, I just didn't sleep a lot last night" "Darling" Jamie put a hand on your thigh "You seem tense" "I-I" you stuttered "Just like last time" Joe murmured, making you shiver. "You know... We'd be happy to help you again" Jamie continued. "More than happy"  Joe said leaning closer to you, so close you could feel his hot breath on your cheek. Your brain had melted, just like the rest of your body. You were hearing a distinct buzzing in your brain, and suspected that was all that remained in your cranium. It was all so confusing and strange at the same time. You needed air. "Guys," you said faintly "y/n" answered joe "I need to go" You said decisively, looking at them. They were both still grinning, which made you mad, hadn't they heard you? It wasn't gonna work this time. It was just too much. "y/n" said Jamie, caressing your thigh. "No" you stated "I'm sorry but this is wrong ok? I'm not saying that I didn't like it last time, because I really did, but I just can't do it. I'm not cool or calm or any of that shit. I've been panicking all day because I had no idea how to act, and it was so tiring and I don't wanna do it again. I'm sorry but I can't do it. I can't have casual sex with people I know I'm gonna see every day for 6 months starting in 2 weeks. I'm simply not made for it."You caught your breath"So no, I'm sorry but no. I'm going." You stood up and walked away, proud of yourself for having finally gotten it all out. You didn't know what this meant but you were just happy to have done what you knew was the right thing.

You were laying on your bed in your pajamas, watching Gilmore girls on the computer, when you heard a knock at the hotel room door. You were expecting this, it wasn't a surprise. What actually was surprising was that on the other side of the door was only one of the people you expected to see. "Hi" said Joe with a genuine smile. "Hi" you answered There was an awkward silence as you tried to understand what to do. "can I come in?" he asked, making you raise an eyebrow in suspicion. "I'll behave, I promise" he raised his hands in defense. "All right" you said, opening the door for him. You pretended not to notice how he checked you out as you sat down. His eyes traveling slowly from your bare legs, covered only by some very short shorts up to your bra-free tits, hidden only by a little pink tank top he very much wanted to rip off of you. "So" you sat on the bed"Why are you here?" He set beside you, making the bed squeak "I wanted to talk to you" You smiled "please do, then" He reciprocated your smile as he started "Ok. I'm really sorry we made you feel uncomfortable y/n. And I hope you know that it was not our intention at all. Really. And if we knew that it would have made you feel this way we would have never proposed it in the first place. So I just wanted to apologize, that's all" You hummed, taking it all in "Why isn't Jamie here?" you asked, genuinely curious. He smiled "We didn't want to put too much pressure on you. So we thought that only one of us should have come here first, and the second would join in later." he explained "that's smart" "The other thing that we wanted to say is that" he cleared his throat "It doesn't have to be weird. we could keep doing what we did last time without making it a big deal. Just see it as occasionally having fun, in an adult way, and outside of that, we can just act as we have always done around each other. It would be easy don't you think?" he asked. You frowned "I-I don't know Joe, I mean it's not as easy for you as it is for me. You saw me today during the interview, I looked crazy" "you did not. and" he shrugged "that was partially our fault, we were taunting you " "But it's not just that,y-you have this effect on me. It's weird" He chuckled "And what exactly do you think you do to us?" he licked his lips "You know, it's very hard to concentrate on an interview when you look at me with those eyes and bounce those pretty legs or smile so innocently" he confessed, making your heart flutter. "Ok" you said "So if I wanted to do this, we could just be normal around each other in everyday situations and you guys will stop taunting me, right?" you waited for him to confirm "Absolutely" "And it would just be us having fun?" "Yes, sweetheart" he grinned, putting a hand on your bare thigh. "And could we have fun now?" you whispered "It's solely up to you princess" he said, leaning closer. There wasn't much thinking to do having his face a few centimeters far from your face. After all, It was a good plan and you really, really wanted to kiss him. So you did. You gently placed your lips on his, closing your eyes and starting to slowly melt into the kiss. You put one of your hands on his strong chest and the other one at the base of his neck, toying with his hair. You smiled, breaking the kiss. "You liked that?" he asked, gently moving some of your hair behind your ear. "Mh. Mh" you hummed, making him smile. "Good" he said, leaning in to kiss you again, this time his tongue slipping through your lips, and exploring your mouth. "And you liked this?" he asked "Yes Joe, I really liked that" "good" he said again, leaving a quick kiss on your lips again. "Tell me what you like"  You swallowed nervously "I-I don't know" he kissed your neck, making you whimper "Tell me what you liked last time then" "I-I liked everything Joe,it was amazing"  He smiled as he was sucking your neck "I know it was amazing princess, I just want to know what you liked" You bit your lip nervously and he came back up to look at you. "C'mon y/n, I know you can do it" he said, before kissing you briefly and returning back to work on your neck. "O-Ok," you said, your breathing ragged "I-I liked when you-" you didn't know how to say it. "Well, you know" "No, I don't. I wanna hear you say it baby" "I liked when you-When you licked me there" you explained "I'm gonna need you to be more specific sweetheart" "Joe, please" "y/n please" "When you licked my pussy" you whispered, making him groan. "Good girl" he said, his hand traveling down to your panties, only to toy with the hem of them. "Please Joe" you pleaded "Please what baby?" "please touch me" "I can't" he said, retrieving his hand and making you frown "not until Jamie gets here" "That's mean" "it's only right" he kissed you "but that doesn't mean we can't do other things in the meantime" he stroked your cheek with his thumb. you smile curiously "like what?" he kissed you again "well" he looked at you "you could let me undress you" the idea intrigued you "Would you like that?" "hm-hm" you nodded "I need you to use your words baby" "Yes, Joe, I would really like that" you said, earning a proud smile from him. "very good" he said, kissing you one last time before kneeling in front of you and putting his hand on the hem of your shorts. "raise your hips princess" he ordered, and you eagerly obeyed, finding yourself completely naked from the waist down in a matter of seconds. He hissed at the view, his eyes fixated on your pussy. He couldn't control himself as he bent down and left three spread kisses on it, making you moan faintly. "I thought you weren't supposed to touch me"  "Well, Jamie doesn't need to know about everything, does he?" he looked at you as he came back up to sit on the bed. "No, he doesn't" you agreed, making him bite his lower lip "God, you are perfect sweetheart" he said, before kissing you again, this time his tongue exploring your whole mouth. he leaned away eyeing your shirt. "You don't wanna take that off?" you asked, making him chuckle "Oh trust me, there's nothing I want more on this planet than to do that, sweetheart" he said, placing his hand on each side of your torso, making you shiver, and bringing his hands up to meet the shirt. He gripped it and agonizingly slowly took it off, leaving you completely vulnerable. You had never seen him smile so widely in your entire life. "You are a masterpiece y/n y/l/n" he said, gently touching your boobs "I hope you know that" You smiled giddily at the compliment as you heard a knock at the door. You gasped softly, but before you could say anything Joe spoke "I think you should get that". you smiled shyly as you stood up, feeling Joe's eyes glued to your ass. You took a deep breath and very slowly, opened the door. The look on Jamie's face was the perfect mixture of shocked, pleased, and horny. "Now, This, is the way I like to be greeted" he joked, making you smile, before coming into the room and closing the door behind him. You walked towards the bed as he followed you. "So I understand you like our plan?" he said, placing his hands on your waist. "I do," you said gently "Very good," Jamie stated, looking for one second at Joe before crushing his lips with yours. His hands explored your whole back as he walked you toward the bed. He pushed you on it, making you notice how Joe had gotten up. "What were you watching?" You turned to see Joe with your computer in his hands, looking curiously at you. "Gilmore girls" "Figures" he smiled to himself. You would have gotten mad at him at another moment but you were feeling particularly frustrated right now. "C-can you touch me now, please?" you begged to no one in particular. Jamie raised an eyebrow at Joe "You were really able to stop yourself?" he asked incredulously. "I know" he eyed your body "Trust me, it wasn't easy," he said, winking furtively at you. You whined, trying to make them bring back their attention to you, and like clockwork, both of the men turned towards you. "Of course darling, today is only about you" he said, spreading open your legs. You bit your lip as he bent down and kissed your clit. "So pretty" he murmured, kissing it again "such a pretty pussy for such a pretty girl" he whispered again, before licking a stripe between your folds. You whimpered as you shut your eyes closed. "And soo desperate" he smirked before attacking your clit with his mouth, sucking and liking like it was his life long-duty. "oh god" you moaned, as he continued undaunted. "tastes good doesn't it?" Joe asked, his eyes never leaving yours. "better than anything I ever tasted"Jamie responded, looking straight at you. A wave of pleasure cursed through you at the scene. You moaned loudly as you started grinding on Jamie's face. "And sound soo good too" Joe said, as he took off his clothes. You turned your head towards him as he got out of his shirt and as he slowly unbuckled his belt, clearly wanting to put on a show for you. You moaned again as he slipped his pants off, remaining only in his boxers. A very visible tent, prominent under them. He smirked as he stepped closer to you, kneeling down on the side of the bed. "Such pretty sounds" he whispered against your cheek. "From such a pretty mouth" he continued before meeting his lips with yours. His tongue immediately made its way into your mouth as his right hand found your cheek and his other one your boobs, starting to gently grope them. You moaned into his mouth as he pinched your nipple, making him chuckle. "So sensitive" he whispered against your mouth before starting to work on your neck, leaving hot opened-mouth kisses all over it, just to finally start focusing on a spot under your ear, sucking and kissing it desperately. You were a moaning mess, between his hands on your tits, his mouth on your neck, and Jamie's work of art you were surprised you had not already lost your voice from how hard you were moaning. And just when you thought it couldn't have gotten any better you felt Jamie's fingers at the entrance of your hole. "Jamie" you whispered "Yes, darling?"  "please" "Please what?" he kissed your clit, making you cry out "Please use your fingers" He smiled against your pussy "At your orders" he purred before sloooowly pushing his digits in. "Oh god" you screamed "God has nothing to do with this" Joe murmured to your ear, before going down and taking your nipple into his mouth. You were either gonna die or ascend to another dimension. You felt a bubble form in your lower belly as Jamie started to work his fingers in and out of you, while his mouth resumed its impeccable work. "I-I'm coming" you stuttered, expecting Joe to object like last time, but were surprised when you actually heard him say "Please do princess, let us see you come undone baby", and who were you to deny him of his wish? You let go as the bubble burst in your belly, making you shout incoherently as thousands of little fireworks went off inside of you. "Oh shit" you smiled blissfully, as you caught your breath, making them both grin widely. "so it was good huh?" Jamie asked, making you roll your eyes. "it was amazing" you sighed "That's better" Joe smiled before kissing you passionately. "So" Jamie stated, as Joe leaned away and you propped yourself up on your hands. "Who do you want inside you, sweetheart?" Joe continued for him. You blushed, which was stupid considering the situation, but you couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed being asked it so bluntly. "I-I" you stuttered "It's just a question baby" Jamie said, sweetly. "I-I don't know" you said  "There are no wrong answers princess" Joe murmured, stroking your cheek. "I-I know it's just-" you bit your lip "Just what darling?" "I-I want both of you. I can't decide" You said shily. A thin grin appeared on their lips. "well..." Jamie started, sitting on the bed with a hand on your thigh "You know, there is a way we could do that" "You mean like last time?" you asked innocently. "not exactly" said Joe, looking at Jamie for a brief moment before turning back to you. "Oh" you frowned "then how?" Joe looked at you hungrily, biting his lip. "Well, we could use both of your pretty holes" he murmured sultrily. You gulped. This was new. You had never done that before and definitely not like this. "We'll be gentle" Jamie interrupted your train of thought. "really really gentle y/n" Joe followed. "you wouldn't have to worry about a thing" Jamie added. "We'll take care of you princess" said Joe. You bit your inner cheek as you pondered the proposal. You would be lying if you said it didn't attract you, imagining both of them in you at the same time... heaven. You looked between them, both staring at you hopefully before speaking up "you'll go slow?" "of course" Jamie reassured you. you took a deep breath "ok" you exhaled "I wanna do it" They looked at each other with the same faces children have when they enter a candy shop, it was almost cute. "You won't regret it sweetheart" Joe said, grinning widely, making you smile shily. Jamie took all his clothes on in a matter of seconds as Joe took off his boxers. His cock springing out of them. making you instantly rethink your decision. how was all that gonna fit? "I'll go slow princess, I promise" he said, noticing the shift in your expression. You nodded, as Jamie laid down on the bed beside you. You turned towards him and were met with an adoring look. "Come here" he said sweetly before kissing you hungrily, his hands immediately finding your hips and guiding you on top of him, without ever breaking the kiss. You moaned into his mouth as you felt him positioning his length at your entrance. "you ready darling?" he made sure. You nodded eagerly, and he didn't waste any time, pushing his tip in and slowly raising his hips until he had bottomed out completely. "Feels good?" he asked "Amazing" you sighed, as you bent down to kiss him. Your hips involuntarily starting to move on their own accord. It felt soooo good already, and you wondered how it was gonna feel with Joe too. Just as you did, you felt him getting beside you. You swallowed nervously as his tip touched your other entrance. You heard him spit on what was probably his hand and then another time directly between your cheeks, making you gasp. "Relax princess" he purred as he used his fingers to spread his spit all over your hole. "O-ok" you stuttered, as you stopped moving on Jamie's cock. "It's gonna feel good baby" Jamie assured you. "mh-mh" you nodded, as joe positioned himself. "It's gonna hurt a bit now, but it'll be worth it" Joe said, taking a moment before veeery slowly starting to tear you apart. You hissed at the feeling. he wasn't kidding about the pain, you thought as he continued to push himself into you. "Good" he murmured "You are doing so good princess" he said as he kept going. You felt a single tear stream down your face, and Jamie immediately went to wipe it off "You're doing great darling" he said sweetly. "J-joe" You cried out "I know baby" he cooed, using one of his hands to stroke your back reassuringly "You almost did it" "and..." he finally pushed himself fully into you, making you gasp as his balls hit your ass "there" he said proudly "You did it sweetheart" You bit your lip, as you took in the feeling of having both of them so deep inside of you at the same time. "Can I move?" he asked gently. you turned to look at him, a smile appeared on your face, as you nodded at him, making him groan with enthusiasm. You chuckled at his reaction, but were soon interrupted by an animalistic moan you let out as he thrusted into you. It was like nothing you ever felt before. it still hurted a bit, but the pain was nothing compared to the pleasure you were feeling.  "oh f-fuck" you cried out as he did it again. and just as you were starting to get used to it, without any warning, Jamie started moving too. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as they both pounded into you more and more fast. You were completely filled, and unable to say or do anything. it was like you had fallen into some kind of ecstasy-provoked trance. "Shit, you feel so fucking good y/n" Joe groaned  "You really do" Jamie agreed as he gripped your hips to thrust into you even harder. You cried out his name as he smirked smugly. "It's so tight" Joe whispered, putting a hand on your back to gain more traction, making you literally scream. You were completely useless, a doll at their mercy, unable to even move. If heaven was a real thing, this was probably what it felt like. "You're perfect y/n" Jamie purred, as you kept bouncing up and down or left and right. You had no idea at this point, you just knew it felt absolutely incredible. "So fucking beautiful" Joe groaned "taking us so well" Jamie complimented you "So.fucking.hot" Joe continued, as he kept his pace. Their words together with this feeling were really pushing you over the edge. "I-I" you wined, not able to form a coherent sentence "You're coming?" Jamie asked gently, his breath ragged. "Mh-mh" you hummed weakly "fuck" Joe swallowed "fucking cum princess" he painted "cum all over us" "Yes darling,please do" Jamie continued. "I.I" you failed again, as a familiar pressure formed itself in your belly. "cum y/n" Joe commanded "do it baby" Jamie whispered, sending you over the edge. You screamed their names as your orgasm hit you so strongly that everything went black for a moment. "F-fuck" you heard Joe stutter "Imma fill you up sweetheart" he breathed out, as you were still riding out your orgasm. "me too darling" Jamie said, "gonna fill this pretty pussy with my cum" he said, just seconds before, with a loud grunt they both came, one just a few seconds after the other, making you moan loudly at the undescribable feeling. Everybody remained still as you all tried to calm your breathing. Joe chuckled lightly as he pulled out of you, making you involuntarily laugh a bit too, as you pulled yourself off of Jamie, who was also smiling widely. "Well" said joe "Well" Jamie continued, as you all looked at each other amused. "I'm glad we made this work" you finally spoke. "So are we"  "Definitely"

[emerystellar]

hii ^_^ i would appreciate if anyone could spare some change cuz i have a lot of expenses right now and i am barely stringing along. more context/sob story under the cut if you want but tl;dr car repairs, ubers to/from work, and food in the meantime

ways to support me:

redbubble ☆ i have quite a few things on there, including logos of my stuff and retro things like bowling alley carpet, i’m working on a pride collection of bowling alley carpets too!! and i have a lot more in the works :]

patreon ☆ four different tiers with varying perks, and near-daily updates on art projects, sneak peeks at redbubble designs, previews on music and even full songs weeks before they release- also recognition on youtube, my discord, etc etc!

donations ☆ these are quick links to all the major money sharing apps (cashapp venmo paypal), if you want to do zelle that requires my email (emery.nova7673@gmail.com)

bandcamp ☆ for as little as a dollar you can pick any of my currently released songs to get the highest quality download, which is equivalent to listening to it 34 times on spotify… so if you really like my music then own it for yourself here! you can also get 50% off literally anything with the code hungrypumpkin (since it’s helping me pay for food lol)

and if you can’t donate, pleaaaase reblog hopefully to reach someone who can- reblogs help wayyy more than likes in this case ^^

thank you all!!! you’re amazing and i hope you have a stellar day

poll for engagement:

okayyy umm hii… i’m a queer trans non-binary neurodivergent indie artist, teacher, and musician (to get all the demographic solidarity out there, i never know how to write these) and as of rn i’m having to pay my dad $1900 to fix my car’s transmission while ALSO paying anywhere from $100-150 a week on ubers to get to and from work since i have a residential tutoring job. while ALSO having to pay rent, bills, etc like normal. it fuckign sucks and i’ve literally been eating almost nothing except free handouts from college … it’s a nightmare and it weighs on me every day 😔

not only are most of the ubers a wild roulette on whether the car’s going to be super uncomfortable and make me nauseous, the driver being overpolitical and talking about super uncomfortable shit out of the blue and making me feel really unsafe, they’re often super fucking late and i can’t risk being late to work and it’s just all around not sustainable yayy!! and i also just learned i have depression from all this! which next to the rest of my melting pot of neurodivergence makes it Really goddamn hard to exist in a positive way!

when i’m not at work or school i am making as much content as i possibly can and pushing it out onto redbubble, patreon, etc. you will get more than your moneys worth in return from artistic content and stuff, that’s all i have to offer right now, because frankly commissions are extremely draining and take me SUPER LONG to finish- i don’t want you to have to fight through my executive dysfunction to get a finished piece that’s not fair to you and i want to make this as worth it as possible on the user end

if you want a specific goal, then right now, $350 for ubers for a month would help a lot but naturally give as much as you can because i need all i can get rn ^^; i’m lowballing it so it feels more achievable really but just ,, please anything helps lol

$0 / $350

thank you i love you all my gratitude is immeasurable and i just.. thank you for supporting me it helps more than you know

[x-x-bones-x-x]

If y'all haven't caught on I like to use my account to rant so there's that, regarding TW: Suicidal thoughts, ED behaviors and thoughts mentioned also panic disorders idk if that's triggering to ppl but possibly

Today has been a collosal fucking mess. In case y'all haven't been following along, me and my boyfriend broke up 2 weeks ago exactly. Long story short, I live in a college town, there was a game today, really bad traffic, and he walked right in front of my car and made eye contact with me. I was already having a panic attack because I was literally stuck on one road for 45 minutes and I just wanted to get a diet dr. pepper I forgot it was game day. It took me 2 hours to get home, I didn't even get the diet dr. pepper cause the gas station was so packed. Come home and there's a lot of ppl here, offered pizza I say no obviously. We watch tv and smoke but idk I definitely felt left out so I went to my room. I'm not hungry, I have no appetite but im nauseous. I kinda want to die, I really don't like where I am at rn in life but I also have bpd and that could just be temporary me splitting on shit but im so tired of everything.

Regarding weight loss, I went down .2 from yesterday and plan on reweighing in tomorrow to see if I've dropped more. My thigh gap looked bigger this morning which is nice ig but I still look huge.

I hate my ex, I hate that we live so close. It makes me want to die. No shot I run into him after only 2 weeks. Shoot me like a deer please. At least I have more motivation to starve.

I got scared in the car though I thought I was gonna pass out, my face starting going numb I think from the panic attack and lack of oxygen. Definitely need to get some anxiety meds in my car for future use.

Anyways, later. I have no energy to write anymore. Peace till tmr✌️

[pinejay]

fighting for my life to not be nauseous on a long car ride rn. literally pulling out every trick in the book

[bykalopsia]

ryuki eps 42-50 notes & final impressions

(note that i probably am not getting around to any of the supplementary content any time soon bc 1) there are so many 2) i'm iffy on alternate endings in the first place 3) the ones that aren't that are crossovers so i'm not watching them until i get there [which won't be for months even if i keep the pace i've been going at & 4) i'm a little burnt out on ryuki and am excited to start faiz])

the way sano just hops around while his final vent goes off and all the antelopes(?) charge is so cute

sano overall is just great. love it when a guy has no principles whatsoever.

love ren, kitaoka, and asakura taking the serendipitous occurrence of them all meeting in room 401 after tojo and the professor had moved out to sit down and go "we hate you you're stupid go kill yourself give us 5,000 dollars" to shinji. he is very stupid though god bless him

one thing i find very funny is that despite asakura being asakura he's actually pretty courteous about the game. like he very well could be (and probably would fare better if he was?) attacking people outside of the mirror world but he just shows up and acts off-putting and strange until they transform. (like he actually reads sano's business card even though he interrupted his tojo-ran-away temper tantrum?) i guess this is why he's shiro's little attack dog he's just really about being a Proper Rider.

also i'm really bad at looking at significant injuries so when tojo jumped into like that water runoff ditch (?) and it looked like something happened to his arm i got so nauseous lol. i don't think he actually got hurt bc it doesn't seem he's injured in his following scenes but still ;;;;;;;

also tojo is so Interesting to me!!!!!!!!!! (this is the millionth time i've said this) i wish i knew where in the metamorphosis he was at so i could possibly make connections. the strength of his heroic ideal and how he's carving parts of his life out (literally, by killing people lol) in order to fit in that very twisted definition yet still failing (both because it is something that is forced on his part And for the unlucky fact that other riders are just stronger than him)

ep 44 don't fucking talk to me. literally the second tojo went "you're the first person to be nice to me since the professor" my fucking stomach dropped (tbh i should have known since sano brought tojo to his apartment in the first place but w/e) that he'd fucking kill him but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

pain and fucking suffering why are all my favorites DOOMED it's literally a curse.

idk if i were tojo i'd start beating asakura with hammers that's just me though (maybe everyone's just courteous about only fighting in the mirror world bc it's a kids show.... hmm much to think about)

"i have to be the one who killed sano" please fucking hit me with a truck it'd be less painful. tojo there is something so wrong with you you are literally the best <3

also after kitaoka told him there was no way he could ever be a hero he did like a 1:1 gills scream motion which is really funny bc they don't share a suit actor

ren clocking shinji with the "has your indecision ever helped a single person" GET HIS ASS!!!!!!! but also STOP IT!!!!! bc while i really don't see a point where pacifism is successfully getting anyone out of anywhere rn (atp in ep 46 at least) it makes me feel so bad about tezuka i'm going to hurl

the way tojo died was lame though L. thematically necessary but lame. (i'm just bitter bc i wanted him to also start hallucinating sano i'm sorry my goggles are on... also i just wanted him to spiral more the car bomb was a great step i wanted it to keep happening.... i get that asakura gets to stay around bc he's shiro's little meow meow but who says we couldn't have had two maniacs until the end [logical reasoning does. who said that])

i've realized in my notes/lb i haven't talked about kitaoka's illness a bunch (because thinking about it makes me So Miserable) but seriously if they had stayed in the scene after ren tells kitaoka he's disqualified it would have been my breaking point for Ryuki Crying (i'm surprised i've lasted this long but tbh ryuki to me inspires an intense hollowness in one's gut that leaves you sitting kind of hunched over staring slack-jawed at your screen like you just got punched rather than like bawling my eyes out) but no we have to immediately cut to asakura fighting the weird blue artificial monsters i don't necessarily understand the significance of? i get that there's generally some obligation for there to be monster fighting in each episode but most of the time i feel like it's such a time waster......

^this is maybe my largest criticism of ryuki? that there's So Much that it very often doesn't sit with itself bc it doesn't have the time to. and i LOVE to sit with a scene so it's just unfortunate. give me time to think!!!

episode 49 should i kms yes/no?

shiro and yui. it's so over. it's so over. it's so over. the way his voice changed as he begged her not to disappear it's so over.

before Everything Started happening i said and i quote "it'd be slay if they let ren win lmao" to make myself laugh bc i had just been released from the Doomed Siblings Pain and Horror Vortex. and then the police started preparing to assassinate asakura and i went pause. and then kitaoka is still slowly dying (i literally can't talk about it pleaseeeeeee just let it happen so this can stop torturing me PLEASEEEEEE) AND THEN SHINJI DIED. SO.

i don't even want to think about anything anymore. i need to excise this show from my brain so i can be normal i can't do this

okay. i fucking bawled all throughout the back half of 50. YOU GOT MEEEEE YOU FINALLY BROKE ME!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS

i literally can't talk about it bc if i start crying again i think i'm literally going to puke i was heaving

um. anyways. good show. i need to go lay down. maybe forever?

[oncominggstorm]

Am stuck overnight in a cheap motel (& was last night too) & can’t leave til tomorrow morning & it’s 3am & I didnt sleep at all last night (because of how uncomfortable this place is) & can’t sleep again tonight & i just wanna die, i cant do this, this is torture.

The bed is literally like sleeping on a slab of concrete, it’s the most uncomfortable thing in the entire world, there is literally no way to sit or lay on it at ALL that does not cause me quite a lot of pain. And the only other furniture in the room is a wooden desk chair.

And the two tiny pillows are the flattest pillows I’ve ever seen in my life. The blanket is very thin and very scratchy. I’m somehow both too hot and too cold at the same time. I’m extremely hungry but don’t have any food or any money (& even if I did, while I’m physically hungry I have ZERO appetite & the idea of trying to put food in my mouth rn makes me feel nauseous).

It is taking EVERYTHING i have to not start screaming, or rip my skin off, or bash my head against the wall (have already bit myself & pulled some hair out). And am fighting an EXTREMELY strong urge to just like, run. To run outside, out in to the road in the middle of the snow storm. Like I don’t want to try to stand up cuz I’m worried I’ll just run if I stand.

And I just don’t know what to do. My sisters are asleep so I have to be quiet & they won’t be awake for at least 6 more hours & we don’t get to leave to go home for 7.5 more hours & I cannot so this. I can’t. I feel like I’m being tortured. I am in hell. Like genuinely maybe we crashed the car on the way here & I died & this is my hell or something.

[thisdogpaystaxes]

sad out of nowhere today folks :) not really feeling well at all actually like i'm trying to nott lose it because i'm just fuking up so badly at everything in my life right now

i feel like every relationship i have is rocky and going to fall through rn well not every but i have like 3 that im jsut like so nauseous about because im convinced 2 hate me and 1 is so good but im nervous and yeah

so that's just really on my mind right now because im around them 24/7 and it's just such strong emotions and ughhhhhhh every thing is juice.

and like i just don't think im doing well at my job i don't think im learning or trying hard enough and i feel dumb as fuck because i don't have adderall and it's jsut really hard for me now bc like i randomly got adhd at 20.

but also idk if ifs adhd i think i am deteriorating physically and mentally at an alarming rate liek my motor skills just aren't what they used to be n i've been dumb. and i think everyone thinks im like so fucking dumbbbbbb and i'm like guys no i know stuff i jusssst am silly.

which also makes me sad because i know shit about psychology and i love it and i'm just fucking up with school. i am fucking upppp i struggleeee to focus on shif

and it's hard not having a car because i can't do shit. i feel restricted but i knwo ppl will give me rides i just feel horrible asking!!!!! but i literally do it for ppl like i did it for someone once who i was mutuals with for like 5 years it was crazy.

i don't think i deserve a lot of good things in my life for some reason. i am distressed as fuck and every little thing makes me melt down because i literally just can't handle anything i need something off my plate.

so i jsut took one off i'm trying to pay my school balance rn. i fucking deserve it i'm so passionate man i want to help people think clearly like we all deserve to just be heard and felt and cared for. situations are so hard, especially with extraneous variables like illness, like baby let's do this together. ur not alone.

mmmmm like i want my career so badly and i don't think a single person on earth believes in me

one of the complicated people just came in and was baby as hellll, they were divinely timed as always too because they came in and distracted me right before a mental breakdown

but i think i need the mental breakdown like i think i need to release something because i feel horrible soooo everyone leave me alone vibe

i'm really scared that i'm not learning shit for my new position like today i felt like such a fucking idiot and i don't even know if i'm sensitive but my boss is usually really hands on and good to me but today they were partnered with another boss man and they were really weird. like they made me look for the resources on my own instead of helping me and they were just waiting there and i felt dumb as shit because I DONT KNOW WHY WOULD I KNOW. like please show me. and then i asked them to help and they have like hints and it felt bad bc i was like okkkkkk like guys i feel dumb like i sisd thst out loud

and like after that we had girl time and it felt good to be friends and liek i look up to how talented they are as managers like truly i need their life balance so badly and i am trying to learn their ways idk. but like that just felt bad :/

which i get it, they are separating professional and personal, but that was just like weird. like no i feel bad. and i should've just said something so i will next time because how are they supposed to know if i'm not voicing it.

but then there's the dynamic of 'do i voice it because i'm trying to learn and get on their level' or 'should they ask because they want me to be comfortable' and i just never know with this damn company. i'm a vulnerable girl so i'll be really sweet and kind the next few days and not be mean. it's a playful thing of mine. but also if i extra love everyone around me while i'm feeling horrible, i'll get extra love back

i will be a nice girl for the next week

i'd like a new set of hips, a new car, a new brain, a new apartment (bugs are ruining my life), a new therapist. so i'll see what i can do. i might suck right now at my job but why be hard on myself. maybe i should take my laptop home this weekend and like.. take a peeeeeek.... and get my life together. i should take initiative on this because i am determined to be good.

thanks for being here for my provlem solving tumvlr i love gou

[whenthenightfallsagain]

In the car on my way to poland rn, and i am literally so over it. We have like 8 hours more to go... I've been reading my current fanfiction until I physically couldnt take it anymore, i've been making photos of my sleeping sister from her phone and now im literally so bored.

Its quarter to two in the morning, we've been driving since half 12. The car noise is too loud, but I cant bear to put my headphones in again. Also, I am already a little nauseous but I cant eat anything cuz my mum'll cut my head off.

But the stars are nice, reminding me of Sirius and Regulus Black and the songs on the radio thankfully aren't all too bad rn.

[psychoticwillgraham]

drank 90% of an energy drink that has 200mg of caffeine in it and y’all. i literally feel like im vibrating rn lol im definitely shaking a bit but surprisingly not as noticeable as usual? it’s actually more subtly in my opinion tbh. and yes my head feels fuzzy like when I get a bit fucked up but one thing I didn’t expect? im no longer ultra paranoid. like every time I think hear cars/car doors outside now I don’t go rushing to the window to check unless it sounds like they’re in the driveway. one thing that I did expect tho: im decently nauseous now lol

[natsglorifiedsimp]

I'm in the car rn and I can't read my script coz i might feel dizzy/nauseous so here's the thing, I've never really written an anon on here so I'm new to the anons but I've been following this page for a while (at least I think idk how long it's been 😭) and reading the one-shots (I'm addicted to them your writing is literally amazing)

-M

Thank youuuuu <3

[wholesome-lesbiab]

Maisa has been feeling super sick today yall I don't even know why :((( are there any tips for cats when they're having stomach ache??? Can I do anything to make her feel better????

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Safe n Sound

Pairing: Nate x ex-girlfriend!reader; Fezco (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: After a big fight with her boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend, the reader goes to the familiar corner store in need of support and help from her best friend.

Song: "Cherry" by Harry Styles

Warnings: Swearing, heavy talk of abuse, this is your trigger warning, Nate Jacobs.

Word Count: 1.3k

A/n: I had a love/hate relationship writing this because it's so similar to what actually happened with me and my current boyfriend. Literally dumped my abusive ex and ran to Justin's house crying. Stan Justin for clear skin.

"I'm done, Nate! I can't fucking do this anymore!" I scream, clutching my body in my trembling arms. The bruises that litter my upper arms grow more pigmented by the minute, tears streaming down my heated cheeks. Nate looks at me, his head tilted in a calculated way as he laughs.

"Fuck you." He spits, the last straw to me as I pick up my things from the bed, gathering them into my book bag. I cry silently as Nate watches me, his arms crossed over his chest as he huffs. "Come on, Y/n." He reaches forward, my body flinching away from him as he scoffs. "What? You're fucking afraid of me now? You're just gonna fucking run away like you always do? Where you gonna go?" He asks, grabbing the bag out of my hands as I wince, backing up until my back hits the wall. He stalks up to me, his eyes squinted as he laughs bitterly. "You gonna run to the fucking drug dealer? Fezco?" He asks, throwing my bag at my chest as I cry, my eyes shutting as I clutch the bag to my chest. "You're fucking pathetic." He spits, his voice raising as it finally clicks in his head that there's no coming back from this one. "Don't forget all the shit I know about you, Y/n!" He warns, my feet finally moving from their place in the floor and out of his room. My mind wanders as I think of all the things that I've told him, confided in him about. The pictures on his phone of me. He yells my name as I make my way quickly down the stairs, my eyes catching his dads gaze from the kitchen. He frowns at my disheveled sight, his whole body turning on the chair as he folds his hands in his lap.

"You're a nice girl." He says, his shoulders shrugging in a sad sigh. "Get outta here, alright? Stay safe." He adds, my bottom lip wobbling as I turn around, glancing once more at Nate who stands at the top of the stairs. He sends me one last bitter smile before I twist the doorknob, letting myself out of the suffocating house.

As I walk down the street, my legs wobble under me as I pull my t-shirt sleeves down more. The bruises form perfect hand prints on my skin, my chest aching as I pull out my phone.

To Fezzy: Where are you rn?

I take a deep breath in, trying to fill my lungs with as much air as I possibly can. The suffocating question of what Nate would do next weighs heavily on me. He couldn't send those pictures on his phone to anyone without it being illegal right? That would be administration of child pornography? The thought makes me nauseous, the fact that I even have to worry about something like this is actually ridiculous. It just proves the fact that I should've left a long time ago.

From Fezzy: the shop. wassup?

Ignoring the message, I shove my phone back into my sweatpants pocket, listening to the sound of cars driving my me. I knew that Fez would be mad, probably homicidal, when I tell him about Nate. About the things that Nate said, what he did, what he threatened. Fez was always protective over me, always watching my back for me. I felt stupid that I was this predictable though. Nate always knew that I would run to Fez the minute that things got rough when it came to anything. He's always been my best friend, the person I felt safest with. Maybe that meant more than I thought it did.

Fez always warned me that, when Nate and I were finally over, that it would be over something big. That it would be the biggest blow out and that he would be there the minute it happened. He knew that Nate and I wouldn't last. He always said that I was too nice, too gentle for Nate. Now it made sense.

As I step up to the store, my hands shake at my sides as I blow out an anxious breath. This wasn't going to be pretty, I knew that it wasn't. I knew from the moment that I made the decision to come here that this would end in me trying to calm him down. Because god forbid anyone looked at me in the wrong way, let alone leave bruises on my skin.

The door opens with a ding, my backpack being tossed onto the ground as I see Faye propped up on the ice cream cooler. Thank god she's here. Looking around the counter, I don't see Fez, no Ash either.

"He's in the back. I can grab him if you want." Faye offers, a small smile on her pudgy lips as I nod. "You look like fucking shit, man. Are you okay?" I give her a half-assed nod, my hands reaching up to wipe the tears off of my cheeks. She gives me an unconvinced smile before making her way off of the cooler and into the back room. I lean against the counter, letting out a strained breath as the door opens with a quiet squeak.

"Hey ma, what's up?" Fez asks, a smile in his tone as I look up, my tough exterior crumbling at the sight of his eyes on me. His face immediately drops, his chest rising and falling in violent breaths. "What did that son of a bitch do?" He asks, stepping up to me quickly to look over my frame. His eyes connect with my arms, my head falling back as I whisper out a whimper.

"I broke up with him. It's done." I shake my head, trying to get his eyes off of the bruises, but he just moves my sleeves up to examine them further. I watch as his jaw clenches in frustration, his chest rising in a breath. "He just- he got angry and then we got in a fight. He tried to keep me from leaving and grabbed my arms." I explain, his head bobbing in a silent nod. I'm surprised he hasn't yelled yet. "I think he threatened to, like, spread naked pictures of me but he was really vague." I cover my face with my hands, feeling Fez tug me to his strong chest. He rests a hand on the back of my head gently, cradling me to him as I sob.

"Gonna kill 'im." He mutters, his lips pressing against my temple as I clutch his shirt. "Ain't nobody fuck with you like that and get away with it, you got that?" He asks, my head nodding slowly as I step closer to him, just needing to be in his arms. A few moments go by, his arms still tightly wrapped around my trembling frame. Occasionally he presses a small kiss to the top of my head, the action warming me to my core. "I'm proud'a you. For leavin'." He whispers, a small smile on my lips as I process his words. I needed to hear that. "So fucking strong." I pull back to look at him with a soft smile, tears still streaming down my cheeks as his anger breaks. "Don't gotta be afraid no more. I'm not leaving your side." He whispers, his hand gently reaching up to cup my cheek. I gaze up at him, my eyebrows pulled together as I fight the urge to cry for a completely different reason. He's always made me feel so safe.

"I'm okay with that." I reply, my eyes fluttering shut in relief as he lets out a small relieved laugh.

"You better fucking be." He chuckles, his cheek pressed against my forehead as he pulls me back into his arms, the fluorescent lights above us buzzing as I let myself breathe for the first time today.

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Taglist: @jamespotterswifey @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex--awesome--22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @letmebeyoureuphoria @rafecameronswhore @4lyssasworld @write-from-the-heart @ariianelle @vampviolets

Euphoria Taglist: @usernamelol @ssprayberrythings

[dulce-pjm]

get to know me tag game !!

tagged by the lovely @hauntedlilies !! thanks sweet m! these are always fun :))

as usual i rambled and got a little personal with the answers so you know all you followers keep building up the blackmail material i guess LOL

When is your birthday?

january 15!

What is your favorite color?

ahhh it’s always changing but rn i’m vibing with purple, pink, green, and yellow :))

What’s your lucky number?

7, 10, 15 :)

Do you have any pets?

yes !!! two cats and two dogs and i adore them !!!

How tall are you?

5′8″ (watch out jimin!! based on the evidence i have seven years left to outgrow you !!!)

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

i haven’t a clue

Favorite song?

my go-to answer is always seesaw but tbh it’s so hard to pick !!

Favorite movie?

agghhhhhh how do you choose???? i’ve mostly been watching animated movies recently bc it comforts me so probably your name or monster’s inc :)

What would be your ideal partner?

...park jimin?

LOL in all seriousness... i tend to like extroverts and just people who are super passionate about something !!! both romantically and in any relationship!! honestly oikawa tooru is the template i would drop everything and marry him he is a precious petty idiot and i love him the most

Do you want children?

fjdslgkhsdlkfjlsd not right now !!!! i tend to not answer this question too directly because i have plenty of time to think about it and i don’t want to tie myself to any direction !!!

Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

lol no but i think after a quick scroll through my tumblr you could have guessed that 

What color socks are you wearing?

no socks !!! unless it’s winter and i’m freezing sleeping in socks is a crime >:( but earlier i was wearing pink and purple socks !

Bath or shower?

depends !! but i never feel clean after a bath and still end up showering, the bath is just for me to chill 

Favorite type of music?

hmmmm kpop, musical theatre, minecraft music LOL

How many pillows do you sleep with?

four !! SLFKJLDSGH lol

Which position do you sleep in?

depends !!! i used to sleep exclusively on my stomach but i’ve changed a bit and honestly any position is possible! but no matter what i am cuddling a pillow (with the other three piled around me) and probably holding my own hand LOL 

What don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

being cold :( i can deal with hot but being freezing is terrible !! i like to spread out but when you’re cold you have to like curl yourself up to preserve heat

What do you have for breakfast?

cold leftovers are the ideal breakfast <3 i used to like breakfast foods but most of them just make me nauseous now so i end up just eating leftovers or coffee/tea 

Have you ever tried archery?

like once? like literally did one shot. was not good 

Favorite fruit?

strawberries !!!! yum yum yum (after that probably mango)

Favorite swear word?

i don’t know that i have a favorite but i say fuck the most LOL

Do you have any scars?

yes !! i’m clumsy so i have many burn scars on my hands from cooking or curling my hair (the biggest one was very creatively named Mark by my bestie and beta reader @delayedimperfection). i also have several scars from my psycho/lovely cat on my arms and hands (and then i went in the sun after getting several of them and yeah they probably will never go away it’s fine)

Are you a good liar?

nope !!! especially if you know me i think my tells are just easy to pick up on!! i rarely win as imposter in among us :( tragic 

What’s your personality type?

infp-t!! i think that’s what this is asking

What’s your favorite type of girl?

all !!!! 

Left or right handed?

right !! my left hand is useless <33

Favorite food?

sushi !!!! it’s filling but a lot of food makes me nauseous nowadays and i never feel that way after eating sushi 

Are you clean or messy?

messy !!

Favorite foreign food?

well i guess sushi LOL but i am always down to try something new!

How long does it take for you to get ready?

depends on how greasy my hair is!! anywhere from five minutes to an hour-ish

Most used phrase?

lol probably “oh my gosh” and “oh my god.” i also say this phrase that’s like from a specific city but i honestly do not even know to spell it it’s like gibberish i don’t even know

**update (not that anyone was asking) but i did some research and the phrase is jeezle petes!! it’s not exclusive to the city i picked it up from but that one city is how i learned it :))

Are you a good singer?

lol i’d like to hope so !!! i did musical theatre for several years so if i’m terrible well whoops? lol

Do you sing to yourself?

of course !!! 

Biggest fear?

ummmm idk i am such a scaredy cat so i’d say most things spook me !! i guess i’d say abandonment as a serious answer and ghosts as a silly(ish) one 

Do you like long or short hair?

i generally like shorter hair (on myself and other people) but i mean different hairstyles suit different people !!

Are you into gossip?

idk i don’t like to speculate and i try to always give people the benefit of the doubt but !!! if it’s me and my mom in the car well then no fucking mercy 

Extrovert or introvert?

introvert !!!! if you message me first i’ll love you forever (also hence why i love extroverts, they balance me out !!)

Favorite school subject?

i love love love chemistry and any kind of science !!!! (definitely haven’t projected that into any of my fics no no no...)

What makes you nervous?

being in unfamiliar places !! i hate feeling lost or feeling like people can tell that i’m lost

Who was your first real crush?

fjdlsghsdlk idk... i have such a hard time expressing and processing romantic feelings that i’m not really sure that i’ve had one !!! my best guess is probably my best friend a few years ago but honestly i don’t really even think i had a crush, i was just trying to reciprocate how he felt SJLDGKJLSDGKH this is soooo personal anyways~~~~~

How many piercings do you have?

i used to have three in each ear but due to some unfortunate circumstances two (in each ear) grew in :( i plan to get them re-pierced soon though !!

How fast can you run?

GJLSDGHLDKF idk ????? i’d like to think i’m relatively fast because i have longer legs but honestly that’s such a lie i have to be in fear to really be fast LOL

What makes you angry?

hmmm!! tbh it takes a lot to make me mad, i’m pretty chill and usually i get sad/upset rather than actually angry! but the quickest way to make me mad is to like expect something from me and never communicate it!! i can’t read your fucking mind i’m the biggest people pleaser i know and would probably bend over backwards for you if you just told me GJSLDKFHL yes this is about a very specific set of instances <3333

Do you like your own name?

yeah, actually !! naomi is an alias, i chose it just for fun, but i like my irl name too :)

What are your weaknesses?

my crippling self doubt :’) also i’m so ticklish it isn’t funny. hmmmm i also tend to put other people’s needs before my own and then let them take advantage of that GHLSDKFJS it’s fine. AND i need everyone to like me all the time especially when they are mean to me (which makes me easy to manipulate unfortunately flsdkghdlskfj why am i giving out this info)

What are your strengths?

i think i give okay advice and i’m good at teaching other people things !!! i’ve also been told i’m very genuine and honest :)

What is the color of your bedspread?

grey !!

Color of your room?

lol grey, white, and then honestly just an assorted bunch of colors

this was fun !!! tagging @softbobamilktae, @moon-write​, and @jtrbluv !!!

[suchdan-veryphil]

A Whole Ass Baby? - Jack Barakat Imagine

Anonymous said:

How about a Jack Barakat headcannon/whatever you wanna write about you two finding out that you’re gonna have a kid? I need more Jack content tbh 

Word Count: 2,367

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, getting sick, sex mention, menstruation mentioned, doctors

A/N: 

This is the second time I put something back in my drafts instead of posting it when I was done. And this is now the second time I was sad that a post wasn’t getting notes when it was never posted. I will do better. This took forever, but here it is. I love Jack Bassam Barakat. I love writing Jack Barakat. I am HERE FOR THIS

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It had been three weeks since I started feeling nauseous. I would just be sitting down and be hit with a sudden wave of nausea, like I was on a boat for too long. I could still eat, I could still drink, I could still shake my ass to Mr. Brightside but if I sat for too long I would just be hit with the feeling that it was time to vom. 

Then two weeks ago, I was fine. The nausea was gone, the world was bright again.

Then about two days ago, it hit me again. I couldn’t eat anything that wasn’t toast, crackers, a banana, or water (although the water was a hit or miss). Too much of anything caused me to be violently sick, and unfortunately for me, “too much” of most things meant one bite. Otherwise, I felt fine. No aches and pains, no headache, no fever. I wasn’t thinking too much about it, though, mostly for those reasons. 

Meanwhile, Jack was pounding back cake, pizza, ribs, wings, margs, and everything in between four or five times a day without a second thought. I was honestly jealous. 

We were sitting on our sofa, watching The Office. I was laying on two of the cushions and he was sitting on the third, resting his elbow on my knees. I watched as he popped three pizza rolls into his mouth at once and started chewing rather loudly. In response, I groaned and pushed his shoulder with the pad of my foot. 

“Do you have to enjoy the good food in the house when I’m sick?” 

He started to reply, but I couldn’t understand him with all of that food in his mouth. It was a low grumble, and he was starting to drool a pizza stained slobber the more he attempted to speak.

“What?! I can’t understand you,” I chuckled a little and sat up before wiping his nasty spit out of his beard. He chewed the food and quickly swallowed before answering. 

“I said, if I don’t eat it then nobody will and that’s a shame. Besides, I still think you should go to the doctor.” He popped another roll in his mouth and looked over at me. 

“I disagree. My stomach has just been off. I have literally zero other symptoms.” 

“You haven’t eaten in like a week. You need to go to the doctor.” Jack raised his eyebrows at me and stared intently. He was probably right, but I hated the doctors and he knew this. 

“If I don’t feel better by Sunday, I’ll go to the doctor. Okay? Just two days.” 

We just stared at each other, both of us begging the other to give in silently. I leaned in and did my best to pout my lip without it being obvious. 

I could tell the second that he went to inhale deeply through his nose that I had won. 

“Thank you,” I leaned over and kissed his cheek gently. 

“I didn’t even say anything!” 

“You didn’t have to.” I kissed his cheek once more, getting a whif of his greasy lunch. It hit my stomach instantly, bringing me to my feet and to the bathroom to empty whatever small contents that were left. 

That was definitely the universe giving me some sort of karma. 

I could feel his hands rubbing my back as I leaned over the toilet and waited to see if anything else was going to invite itself up. 

With a deep breath, I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped my mouth before flushing and sitting on the cold tile. 

“Do you feel better?” Jack continued to rub my back. I took a second to listen to my body, and also to get reoriented. After a moment, I nodded my head and pressed my palms against the floor to push myself off of the ground. I was only a few inches off the ground when I started to feel dizzy and fell back into Jack’s arms. I closed my eyes and put my hand up to my forehead. 

“Ok, let’s go to the doctor.” I leaned against the sink counter and collected myself before I began to brush my teeth. 

I could see Jack’s face become instantly relieved through the mirror as I spoke.

“I’ll get the keys.” 

Within the minute, we were getting into the car and buckling up. Jack reached over as we stopped at a light and pressed the back of his hand to my forehead. 

“Well you don’t have a fever.” His hands dropped to hold mine, fingers interlaced. 

“I know, that’s why I really didn’t want to go anywhere. I’ve had stomach aches before,” I sighed and rubbed circles along his hand with my thumb. 

Jack nodded and focused on driving. “I know. I know,” 

It wasn’t long before we were in the waiting room of my doctor’s office. I was busy concentrating on not getting sick in front of the other patients waiting to be seen and Jack took out his phone to play a game. 

I stared at his phone screen as he made switched pieces of candy to watch them pop. I concentrated so hard on the screen that I didn’t hear when they called my name. 

“Hey, that’s you.” Jack locked his phone and elbowed my arm as I came to. 

“Oh. Oh, I’m coming. Sorry.” I turned and handed Jack my bag. “Can you hold this?” He just nodded and slung it over his shoulder casually and continued to scroll through his phone.  

I followed the RN into the examination room and sat on the chair with the noisy white paper on it. “So, Y/N, what brings you in today?” 

I sighed and sat back on the chair, making the paper rustle. “Well, I haven’t been feeling well for the last couple of weeks. I have bad nausea, I can’t keep anything down. Today, my boyfriend was eating a pizza roll and just the smell made me sick. I got really light headed in the bathroom after getting sick. I don’t have a fever or anything, but Jack, my partner, is set on me getting seen so... here we are.” 

I let out a breath and watched as the nurse processed everything. “Are you on any medication? Any change in your diet or exercise routine?” 

“Nope, I’m still not on anything and I still don’t diet or exercise.” We both chuckled at my little joke before she nodded and started to take my temp and my blood pressure. 

“Sexually active?” She asked, releasing the air from my arm band. 

I nodded my head and watched as she removed the band. “Yes indeed.” 

“Do you use contraceptives?” 

“We do.” 

“When was your last menstrual cycle?” 

“Um,” I paused and thought back to when the last time I got my period was. I couldn’t remember, which was probably not the best sign. 

“I’d like to give you a pregnancy test to rule it out before the doctor goes and prescribes you something, if that’s alright.” She opened a cabinet and began to reach for whatever she was grabbing as I answered. 

“Yea, that’s fine.” I could feel my palms begin to get sweaty as I thought of the possibility that I was pregnant. Me? A mom? I couldn’t imagine it. I slept until almost noon most days and ate mac and cheese for most meals. There was no way I could be a mom. 

Jack as a dad, though, that was something I could see. He was always ready to take care of others and make someone laugh. Jack was someone who had a lot of patience, was goal-driven, and just made everyone happy. I tried to imagine what it would be like if he had a tiny baby to love and care for, but I was pulled back by the nurse who handed me a cup. 

“Here you go, just pee in this and leave it on the shelf over the sink with your birthday written on it. You can come back in here when you’re done and we’ll let you know what we get and take it from there.” 

I took the small plastic container in my hands and sighed as I looked at it. Getting up from the seat, I couldn’t help but notice my cheeks started to hurt. I could not stop smiling, just imagining that Jack and I could possibly be having a baby. 

Once I reached the bathroom, I followed the nurse’s instructions step-by-step and washed my hands thoroughly. All I could think was “I should have drank more water today” and “Jack and I might be parents”. 

Sitting back on the seat, I bit my lip and rested my head back in the headrest. Jack had no idea what was going on in this room. He was just sitting in the waiting room with my purse over his shoulder, playing Candy Crush or scrolling through TikTok. 

I could feel another wave of nausea hit and I silently prayed to whatever higher power would listen that I would not throw up in this office. All of my energy went into holding in whatever it was that was threatening its way up. To my demise, I was quickly pulled to my feet and hunched over a garbage can to hurl. Between heaves, I heard the door open and close before being met with the voice of my nurse. 

“Well, I think we know why you’re getting so sick.” The water turned on and I soon saw a cup of water in my line of vision along with a tissue. I took both gratefully once I knew I was done before wiping my mouth and drinking the water. I threw the cup and tissue in the trash before sitting and apologizing. 

“I can take that out with me, I’m so sorry. Thank you.” I was rambling at this point, feeling just embarrassed that she had walked in on that. 

“Don’t worry about that. Grosser things have happened here, trust me. We’ll get it taken out once you leave. Now, I have news that could be either really good or really bad depending on how you take it but know that there are options from here.” 

Somehow, this only confused me so I just nodded in hopes that she would get to it. 

“You’re pregnant. This would explain the sickness, the lack of appetite, the lack of fever, and the lack of a period.” 

My heart started to race and I could hear it pumping in my ears. “Wow.” 

It was all I could muster before I looked at her and smiled a little. “Can... can we go get Jack?” 

“Of course! I’ll go get him, I just didn’t want to tell you in front of him just in case.” She smiled back at me and left the room for a minute before returning with Jack, who was still holding my purse over his shoulder. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I saw him looking so non-chalant with it. 

“Hey you. Is everything okay?” He reached out his hand to grab mine before squeezing gently and looking at the nurse and then back at me. 

“Yea, everything’s fine.” I smiled widely at him and bit my lip before looking at the nurse. 

“Well we figured out why Y/N has been getting so sick.” The nurse started before she looked at me. I nodded and held back my tears as she continued. “She’s pregnant.” 

Jack was silent for a second before he looked down at me. “Wait. What?” He smiled widely and dropped my bag to the ground before taking my other hand and squeezing them tightly. 

All I could do was nod. 

“A baby?” He asked and tilted his head, much like a dog would when confused. 

I chuckled and nodded my head. “A baby, Jack.” 

I was barely finished with my sentence before he leaned down and wrapped me up in his arms tightly. 

“Oh my god. A whole ass baby. A kid. A child.” he rubbed my back over a few times before leaning back and holding my face in his hands. 

“So you’re happy?” I asked and smiled widely, reflecting his. Jack let out a quick, “ha” before leaning in and kissing me deeply. 

Once we separated, he bit his lower lip and glanced down at my stomach. “How far along are you?” 

I shrugged, and the nurse chimed in momentarily. “By the looks of your period chart, it would look like you’re about 7 weeks along. I’ll give you guys a few minutes, but when you’re ready you can go to the front and make an appointment with us for within the next few weeks and we can follow up.” 

“Thank you.” was all Jack or I could muster as she excused herself. He looked down at me and dropped his jaw. 

“A whole baby!” 

I laughed and nodded. “Yes! A whole ass baby! Growing in here!” I poked my stomach and chuckled before I bit my lower lip to contain the smile. 

“So you bothered me and pestered me about condom usage and we ended up getting knocked up anyways.” Jack commented. I gently and playfully pushed his shoulder and shook my head. 

“Oh shut up, Barakat. Looks like that wine room is getting turned into a nursery.” 

“Says you. I was thinking your office would be comfier.” 

I laughed a little and shook my head. “Yes, because we need a wine clubhouse AND a wine closet. Sorry, how dare I?” 

With a smile, Jack helped me up to my feet and held my hand. With his free hand, he picked up my bag and handed it to me. 

“I’m carrying a child and you want me to carry my bag too?” I teased as I reached for it. Quickly, he pulled it back and slung it over his shoulder again. 

“Fine, I look better with it anyways. It’s definitely not your color,” he said and lead the way to the front reception area. 

The way my heart swelled with love and joy told me that I was on a very eventful and joyous journey with my boyfriend and our growing family.