#I just grabbed this energy drink I bought the other day randomly and was like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dawnoftime22 · 7 months

Text

a constant sickness.

| N.R

Warnings: mental breakdown at the end, overthinking, being sensitive while horribly sick, mention of throwing up, headaches, r loves orcas(?)

Summary: While Nat was away at a SHIELD meeting, you had gotten sick once again. Having been sick for the millionth time in the past few months, you were tired.

Word Count: 6.4k

Category: Fluff, maybe a little hurt/comfort later on

A/N: I guess you could say this is a vent fic? I've been sick a lot, and it isn't fun, so I ended up making this. please drink water everyone and take care of yourself. love you all <3

| Started on 07/11/2023, 6:11 PM |

| Finished on 19/11/2023 8:07 AM |

Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

“darling, you have been so strong. so please,

lay down and let yourself rest for a while.”

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

The morning birds sang a beautiful song, and the gray sky filled up the room with light. It came along with the rain, the glass windows fogged up from the cold.

The place beside you was empty as you were curled up asleep, all cozy, but missing the touch of a certain redhead.

Soon enough, your eyes slowly open, blinking away your sleep for a few minutes. But you instantly notice the horrid, miserable feeling of a sore throat.

Of course. You had gotten sick again. And the exact day Nat has a meeting. Why couldn't you get sick yesterday? You thought. Or tomorrow, in fact, she's free almost all day for this week.

You shake your head to get your mind to stop before it goes crazy. It's far too early in the morning for this. You stretch, wanting to get your tense muscles loose once again, but doing so just made you feel more tired.

Having woken up alone, you sigh. If you hadn't felt so horrible, then your morning would've been great. But, well, there's nothing much you could do.

Your hands gently grab the soft orca plushie Nat had bought for you just sitting at the end of the bed. Seeing as she wasn't present at the moment, you hug it.

It was quite precious to you, really. Nat didn't know what to get you one anniversary day, and she had thought about how once, when an animal documentary was randomly on the tv, it had videos of orcas just swimming, and jumping. She was in the kitchen while you sat in the living room, laid down sideways as you watched with shining eyes on the screen, like a child.

The adorable sounds that sure, yes, was a terrifying sound for the other animals in the ocean, as they were killer whales, still made you love them nonetheless. Nat smiled at you when she set down the meal she just finished cooking on the table, and called you to eat.

The memory serves as a comfort of sort. You always loved how deep Nat thought about her gifts, and you're always grateful. It wasn't much, but to you, it was everything. Truly, you could never think of having a better girlfriend than her.

Not long after you continued staying comfortably in bed, cuddling up with the orca plushie, your nose began to clog up, making you unable to breathe properly.

The uncomfortable feeling had forced you to get up, and once you were, everything was back to normal. Almost. It's always so annoying having a stuffy nose. You begrudgingly and slowly get out of bed, careful to not make yourself dizzy by going too fast. The target of the tissue box was in your sights, and you somehow make it even with your low energy.

The tissue easily slides out of the box when you grab it, and you blow into it, clearing your nose a bit. After pulling away, you groan a little in disgust and the realization that you'll have to do this again after another few minutes.

You throw out the used tissue into a nearby trash can, and just when you thought of sitting in bed or slumping into the desk chair just to stare out the window to watch cars go by, your stomach feels too empty.

Welp. Your mouth forms a tired pout, but before your stomach could even make any noise at you for not moving to get some food, you grab a nearby jacket and put it on. The warmth it provided surrounded you with a feeling of comfort and safety. As it should, considering the jacket was on Nat's side of the bed. Honestly, you can't tell which one is Nat's or yours anymore with how much the two of you share with each other by now.

You start to make your way out of the bedroom, and into the living room, the curtains already being open since Nat had left when the sun came up, while you were still sleeping.

The house lacked her presence. With you taking a glance at the kitchen, you had hoped to see her red hair basking in the morning sunlight, yet nothing but the kitchen counters and cabinets looked back at you.

You blink away the tiredness and dizziness that started to cloud your vision, and you went over to the kitchen, arriving suddenly somehow. The first thing you grabbed was a cup of water, drinking it and wincing at it going down your aching throat. The feeling soon dissolves into an itch that made you cough once or twice. Well, at least you were more awake now.

Considering a lot of options were out of the view because of your throat, you settled for bread, seeing as it was the softest thing you could find at the moment. You almost shakingly set down the plate on the table, because of how weak your body started to be from the fever, but you grab your choice of spread to put on with a butter knife anyway. Even if being sick meant you were tired, you still needed something to eat, otherwise you'd just get sicker. It wasn't much of a choice, really.

Once you had your meal ready, you sat down at the dining table, taking a bite of your sandwich. Here goes the awful long, long chewing as you tried your best not to have your stomach throw up whatever thats left within it.

You grab your phone as you ate, turning it on and opening your messages app. You click on Nat's contact, your fingers drifting off to type in some words that your head can barely even make out to be a sentence from the little dizziness.

<- Nat <3 [◉¯]

hey Nat, I got sick again. do you think

you can come home quicker? :(

I miss you

Sent at 9:37 AM

hi, darling <3 you're sick again?

I'm sorry detka, the earliest I can

get back is at 4

I'll see if I can sneak off earlier, but

try to get comfortable and watch some

tv my love. have you eaten?

I'll get you some things before I get home too. message me if anything happens, okay? I miss you too, and I love you

Read at 9:38 AM

it's okay, you don't have to

rush if you can't

I'm eating some bread right now

so yeah, don't worry

I love you too <3 get home safe.

Read at 9:38 AM

She didn't have to rush. Right? No, of course not. Maybe a little. You just didn't want to worry her. If we're being completely honest, it's not really okay considering how sick you were and how you were all alone in the house.

Your face had a sad smile. Having checked the time, it's going to feel like forever until she was home. You're just going to have to distract yourself in the meanwhile, and hope this one doesn't make you feel like going through hell.

You turn off your phone and set it down on the table, finishing up the last of your piece of bread. Since there's not much else you could do in the kitchen anymore, you leave the plate and cup in the sink.

The fever wasn't horrible at the moment, but you could already expect what'll happen later in the day. You thought of the little work you still haven't finished yet though.

Throwing up your hands in exasperation to, no one in particular, you walk back to the bedroom, seeing the desk you usually sit at near the window. At least the skies weren't bright. And maybe the rain will even come back, if you're lucky enough.

There were papers already ready on it for you to check and go over, having been taken by you when you were at work before.

You sat down on yet another chair, and the window casts a light upon everything on the desk, also giving the old wood a glow.

At least you can swivel and spin around in your desk chair. You grab a pen laying around, but you didn't start until you played a playlist of slow peaceful songs from your phone.

Everything was going fine as time passed by, but you're starting to feel worse. The day might have gone to lunch or brunch time by now, but you weren't done yet. Probably due to the many times you've spaced out, or somehow more papers just kept spawning in out of nowhere. It always feels never ending until you actually finish it all.

To make matters worse, you even feel an incoming headache upon you. You're definitely not finishing up those remaining papers today, that's for sure.

You end up giving up and leaving them on the desk, walking back out to the living room and into the kitchen to take some pills, hopefully letting the headache pass.

Afterwards, your legs lead you away to grab the orca plushie, just to go back out and plop down on the couch, grabbing the tv remote to put on the first thing you thought of that would distract you from the awful sickness.

It's starting to hit you now. The jacket you wore started to feel a little too warm, causing you to take it off one arm and the other, letting it fall down on the couch.

You could feel the mucus in your nose go down to your throat without being able to stop it. Knowing it did that and even feeling it irked you. You start coughing, the sound obvious with sickness.

Thankfully it was a short cough, and your eyes continue to focus on the screen once more, the scenes playing relaxing you. Your tense muscles loosened a little at the coziness of the living room, even if your nose was being annoying, and your throat makes you cough. You wished Nat was here. So, so badly. But it was still only 12 PM. Even if you're functional, it doesn't mean you don't feel awful.

The noises coming from the tv was quiet. Enough so that you're able to feel dozy. And not in the headache, dizzy way this time fortunately. Your eyes go from being light, to feeling heavy. Your focus also started to include your breathing without meaning to.

Soon, you gave in, surrendering to the darkness that that lured you into sleep.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

Nat arrives home with a bag full of items she had gotten for you. She takes off her shoes and puts the plastic bag on the kitchen island, careful not to make anything fall the wrong way. After she was done with that, she turns to the living room, hearing noises that she would only presume would be the tv, just faintly. She takes off her jacket as she goes, placing it on the couch when she was close enough.

That was when she saw you, all curled up on the couch with the plushie she got you. The sight made her adore you, but also make her feel sad. She would only ever see you like this when you were super sick and tired, or waiting on her to come home.

It's only happened a few times, but a few was enough to make her understand how your fevers feel. A lot of people would just go with their day and deal with it, but you weren't the type of person to be able to. It's not that you wouldn't, you just couldn't. It always had a high chance of taking you the worst.

What made things more concerning is that you're falling sick more often, it's leading to be not normal. Others would say it's the seasons, but with your experience, it really isn't. Nat just hopes your body only hates you at the moment, and you'll get a longer break sometime soon.

Her feet takes her to stand in front of you and kneel down, her hand going up to lay gently against your forehead. The warmness you radiated makes her frown.

Your breathing started to lessen its softness, and you start waking up, possibly either from her presence, the hand on your forehead, or your throat starting to feel dry. Probably all the above.

Your eyes flutter open, and there you see the redhead you love so much right in front of you. Her green eyes looked at you so softly as you registered the scene you awoke to.

"Hi, детка (baby). You feeling okay?" She asks softly, her fingers drifting away to gently pull your hair away from your face. Even when she spoke Russian, her voice was caring.

That was when you were so willing to break, just seeing her looking at you so softly made all your courage to stay strong from the sickness had faltered. But you tried keeping the tears in.

You shook your head fatiguely, your eyes still tired. She knew the answer, but she hoped the sleep brought you more relief. Instead you got the worser effects. It was a chance of either being worse or your throat magically being better.

"That's okay. I got you orange juice and soup, дорогой (darling)." the drink made your face brighten up a little, but the soup almost made you scrunch up your nose in an act of disgust.

"Well, you don't wanna throw up, do you?" Nat raises an eyebrow at you. Her voice was gentle, so it wasn't scolding and it wasn't a threat. Maybe a little bit of a threat, but you needed one considering you know you'll end up feeling nauseous if you don't eat. It's a miserable feeling, even if afterwards you'll be able to get whatever sickness it is out of your system, the process for it isn't great.

You purse your lips and shake your head, the memories of having to go through the nausea being horrible. She gives you a small smile, and moves to stand up.

Nat helps you slowly stand up with her, holding you up with her arms and letting you put a little of your weight on her as you walked. She didn't trust how dizzy you looked when you stood up. You wouldn't either, because the room looked like it was dancing just a little.

She sits you down on the dining table, going off to open the plastic bag and get out the contents within it. First and foremost, she opens the orange juice bottle and pours it in a cup for you, placing it in front of you on the table.

You try and take ahold of it as calmly as possible, but Nat smiles at the small excitement she sees at you being able to drink orange juice. The juice goes down your throat easily, basically almost clearing the germs in some way.

It somehow always helps, and you were relieved it did. Nat's gotten everything out the bag by now, and she's working away on cooking up a delicious chicken soup for you.

As you watched her move in the kitchen, humming a melody to herself every now and then, you slowly drank, trying your best not to finish all the orange juice before you eat. Thankfully you had breakfast down earlier, so there wasn't much air in your stomach or anything to get the nausea to come back.

The time was 2:45 PM. Nat really did sneak away from the SHIELD work somehow. She would do anything for you after all. Or, Fury and Maria had known and dismissed her. Yes, it may just be a fever, but it's been far too many times now to count, so you'd guess they were pretty concerned too. And there was only one redhead who could truly take care of you.

Nat sets down the bowl of soup gently on your side of the table, while on her side she places down a bowl of mac and cheese. One in particular, you know Yelena would love. Your thoughts were wandering with people, but you did just get a nap after all. You may not have felt better, but your mind did clear up a bit more.

"Can I have a bit?" You ask, your voice groggy from the sore throat, but it makes out the sentence. The cheesy, but not too cheesy mac and cheese stared at you like it would melt in your mouth. It was too tempting and seemed way too delicious to not have a taste.

"Sure. Only a little," She said, aware of the fact that the cheese would probably make you cough more.

Nat looks at you amused as you took a spoonful, knowing you wouldn't be able to resist a bite. She didn't really get it to tease you or anything though, she just almost kind of misses Yelena. And she hasn't eaten any mac and cheese in a while. Plus, the blonde had always made the best mac and cheese.

She's been away doing widow work combined with some other assassin work. Nat wasn't entirely sure, but the jokes she tends to make are definitely missed by you. Though, you love Nat's company, love and the comfort she provides by herself just as much.

When you finish the spoon of mac and cheese you had just eaten earlier, you start on your soup with a smile on your face, satisfied at the taste. Nat was relieved. Sure, she wasn't as good as Yelena. No one was, to be honest, but the way your lips are turned up means you approved.

Your throat ends up letting out a cough once more after you swallowed, making you clear your throat to try and get rid of it. When it didn't work, you drank your orange juice. And of course, like magic there was no more bacteria spluttering. Or well, you hope so in the minutes that go by.

"You know, Yelena got a dog." Natasha says, wanting something to distract you a little from your sickness. And she's been wanting to talk to you about it ever since she got a call from Yelena at work. You look up at her with surprise and excitement.

"What? Really? Can I meet it??" Your questions spilled out one after another, excitement filling up your entire body at the new information. She lets out a small chuckle at your happiness.

"Yeah, she's coming back in a week." She mixes around the cheese with the macaronis more, having finished a layer of the outside, she had gotten to the less cheesier parts.

"Does the dog have a name?" Yes, you were excited about the other widow coming back, but at the moment you were very much distracted on the dog part.

Nat's lips purse at the memory of Yelena telling her the name she gave it. "Fanny." She says, with no other comment. The name being taken from the time she was in hiding during the 'Civil War between Captain America and Iron Man', as people called it... Fanny Longbottom. God, did Mason really not have any other choice than that one? That was Nat's thoughts, anyway.

You, on the other hand, giggled a little, careful not to laugh too much, or you'd end up in a coughing fit. "I love it. It reminds me of you a bit."

"Don't even speak about it." Nat responds playfully. Her eyebrows furrows, while her lips turn up into a smile. She shakes her head. She should've expected Yelena would've done such a thing after telling her her undercover name.

You had to take a moment to gather yourself, almost completely laughing at the thought you just had. "At least she didn't choose 'Longbottom'."

She laughs, the sound like a melody to you. Something that can easily, oh, so easily make it so that the fever you have wasn't just complete hell. "Can you imagine?" Nat says.

"What if she did? If we ever had to take care of it while she was away, all you'd ever hear is 'Longbottom! Longbottoooom'." You act out a scene of you calling the dog, possibly while Yelena would come over or leave it to the two of you to take care of it.

"Which would be you adoring it. But yes, Fanny isn't bad." Nat raises her eyebrows on her first sentence, but agrees with you on the name choice.

"No, it would be both of us." You counter her, knowing there isn't only one animal lover in this household you're living in.

"Nope. I would be annoyed at Fanny getting all the attention." Her voice was soft at that point, somehow. Perhaps it accidentally tumbled out her mouth from her mind. Well, you were still focused on making her say she would practically spoil Fanny from how much she'll love the dog.

"Admit it. I know you adore Lucky at least, so! I'm not wrong here." The table goes quiet, the two of you finished with your food. But a thought clicks in your head at her last few words.

"Wait. Annoyed at Fanny getting all the attention? Do you mean you want my attention all on you instead?" It's quite obvious she would, considering you were the one she loves, and you love her, but you just like teasing her.

"...No. I just said I would be annoyed." She brushes it off, taking a sip of her own drink. Her face being completely and utterly normal. But you could clearly see the hint of lying from the way she sipped her drink while talking.

"Yes you did, and you had the attention part! Don't lie, Nat. I'm sick, but I can still have a great memory." You say, proud for having caught her. But the memory part is...partly true. She finished drinking and has the most adorable smile on her face.

"Okay, okay. You're obviously out of it. And now, we will go sleep." Nat gets up from her chair, shooting you a glance of 'we will never speak about it again or you are not getting cuddles' before picking up her empty bowl along with yours to go put them in the sink.

"Excuses, excuses!" You accuse her, a playful tone in your voice. But, you follow along with her, holding both yours and her empty cup.

You were about to help her do the dishes, but she protests to you about it. Even if you did puppy eyes or whatever, she would much rather have you getting some rest.

"Go lie in bed while I finish up here, yeah, любовь? (love)" She softly said. Her hands are on your waist, ready to stop you from turning back to face the sink.

"Okay." You quietly say, nodding your head a bit. She smiles at you before letting go of her hold on you, leaving you to turn and walk off to the bedroom.

Although you did spend most of your time on the couch just earlier, the cold started to take a toll on you and catch up with all thats left of your energy. Of course it was.

You tiredly and almost practically fell on the bed, the soft mattress welcoming your body. Just when you got comfortable, Nat comes walking in the room, holding up the orca plushie you forgot and left in the living room.

You looked up with realization, and reach out with your hands. Nat almost wanted to pull it away from you just to tease you back for the dining table incident, but that adorable face of yours made her relent. And she wouldn't wanna do such a thing when you're so sick anyway.

She lets you hold the soft plush while she got on her side, shuffling closer to you until she could cuddle you. You were expecting her to keep a small distance, considering you didn't really want to get her sick either, but when she pulled you closer, you end up putting the orca plushie just above your head on the pillow and putting your arms around her instead, craving her cuddles.

Her heartbeats gently thumps against her chest, echoing to your ears since you were so close to her. In the quietness of the room, only that, and the sound of both of your soft breathing could be heard. Only if you focused closely.

There was then, a tap against the roof. Nothing scary or creepy really, just a gentle tap. Then another, and it was a little thrumming that almost matched Natasha's heartbeat. Even she was a little confused, and her eyes were set on the ceiling. You know she would keep you safe all the time. But you thought the sound was familiar.

The tapping occurs more rapidly, and then it grows into a noise of which you can only identify as rainfall. It starts pouring outside, and the air starts getting chilly. But it was perfect.

Both you and Nat relaxes a little more at the sudden, but cozy background noise. You nuzzle against her neck in search for more of her warmth. She pulls the blanket up to cover more of your body, and lets her arms retreat back to the small of your back.

Soon enough the calmness of it all had your blinking go at a slow pace, now your eyelids falling down more to closing.

Surprisingly, your stuffy nose wasn't being annoying at the moment, but perhaps you had the cold temperature to thank for that. Your throat grew a little itchy though, so you looked away from Nat to not let the germs hit her, and let out a small cough to make it go away, hoping it doesn't get worse before you're asleep.

You turn back to the comfortable spot in the crook of her neck. Nat lays a gentle kiss on the side of your head, and that was when your eyes closed fully.

Seeing the state you were in when she got back home has her heart feeling a little heavy with concern, but she'll be beside you every second, no matter how long it takes for you to get better.

"Get better soon, мое маленькое солнышко (my little sunshine)." She whispers, slowly, and ever so softly. Only the rain responded back, but the feeling of your breathing against her was enough to let her fall asleep along with you.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

It was 3:35 AM. The rain outside was still ongoing, but it was a calmer, less noticeable rainfall.

You were awoken with a coughing fit, lasting a minute or so. You try to hold it in after a short break, the trapped air wanting to break out of your throat. Fortunately, or, well, unfortunately, Nat was still asleep, somehow. You'd guessed the meeting yesterday took her energy out a lot.

Not wanting to wake her, you slowly untangle yourself from her embrace, and crawl out of bed, all the while taking a few deep breaths not to go into another coughing fit. But of course, by the time you quietly leave the room, one was bound to happen once more as you make your way to the kitchen.

You open a cupboard and grab a glass, careful to make sure your grip was strong enough. After pouring yourself a glass of water and taking a sip, you sigh. The moment of it becoming worse came sooner than you expected. But that just means being sick will pass by just as quick. Or, you desperately hope it will.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Nat started opening her eyes to cold sheets, and her embrace was empty of any sign of you. She awoke more as she blinked. To see no sight of you as she looked around made her get out of bed quicker than being late to work has ever made her.

When she goes out the bedroom, she sees you standing in the kitchen, your shoulders tense from coughing so much. But relief flowed through her body when you appeared in her vision.

Concern came next. She snuck her hands in her pockets at the coldness the living room had to offer. She was missing the warm blankets, but she was also missing you. And you were her top priority at the moment, not to even add the given situation that's happening right now.

The sound of your awful coughing echoed to the walls and back to her ears distantly. "You didn't wake me." Her voice huskily sounded out, and you just about heard it from the horrible hell your body was giving you. Thankfully, you weren't surprised and didn't go into fight or flight mode or anything.

She walks closer until you were only centimeters away from each other. "Sorry." you whisper to her, your voice raw from your throat being so sore. One row of coughs lead to another, and soon it's the endless miserable feeling while Nat rubbed your back.

You stare off at the marble counter for a bit after opening your eyes at the two second break, trying to recollect your breathing and not cough again by taking deep breaths, but it barely helps. Natasha reaches her arm over to the side counter just next to the both of you, and grabs the water filled glass you had earlier, holding it up for you.

You had your hands gripping the marble counter in front of you, your eyes drags itself down to see the glass cup. You let go of the edge and hold the cup instead, taking a quick sip before coughing again. You slowly drank your water until your lungs calmed down.

Nat's arms go down to go around your waist, pulling herself closer to the back of your body to place her face near your neck. You could feel her nose brushing against your skin just slightly, giving you a sense of comfort.

"You want me to make you some tea?" her voice softly whispers out into the darkness while you set your empty glass down. She knows medicine is the last thing you'd want at the moment, and knowing you, you would simply say it doesn't help. And it really didn't feel like it did with how many times you've gotten sick.

You gently nod, and her eyes watches your movement. Her hand slides down to hold one of yours, squeezing it, while her other hand goes up to open a cupboard. She moved beside you to grab a teabag and a mug, then when she had to move away to grab some water and pour it to heat up in a kettle, her hand had left yours lonely.

Since she's waiting on it to warm up now, she turns to face you, her back leaning against the counter. You go closer to her, finding her hand once more. You rested your head against her chest and her free hand holds your back, surrounding you with warmth.

The minutes go by with the two of you staying in that embrace, a peaceful quietness upon the room.

"You okay?" she asks softly, as if the whole world was about to fall apart if she spoke any louder, and to you, it almost felt like so. But that was until she held you in her arms.

You couldn't tell. There wasn't a name to the feeling. Exhaustion? Maybe. You didn't give her an answer, you only held her tighter.

She understands that words may not be the best choice for you right now, and so, she pulls back slightly, but keeps a fair distance enough to not make you pout at the loss of closeness. She takes in every feature on your face. Though you may be sick, you were still the most adorable human being to her, and since you were so quiet, she takes her chance to show her love instead.

The redhead has a small smile on her face, just before she leans in to lay a kiss on the tip of your nose. The action leaves you a little stunned, because you thought she was only admiring you, but it warmed your heart either way. And then, a kiss on your forehead. At this point, she wants to get sick.

But then, she turns back around to the counter, her back now facing you. The water had heated up now, so she pours it from the kettle to the mug.

She grabs the teabag she had placed nearby earlier, and dips it into the hot water, letting it sink and soak. As that's happening, she goes ahead and grabs a spoon of sugar or so then carefully adds it into the tea, stirring it and just ever so slightly pressing on the teabag with the spoon to get it out quicker.

Once she was done she slowly spins around, making sure the hot mug wasn't anywhere close to hitting you. She then steadily makes her way back to the bedroom, with you beside her. You were careful not to accidentally bump into her either. The two of you kept focus on keeping the dangerous burning tea in the mug.

When you arrive at the bedroom, Nat places it on the bedside table, letting out a breath she unknowingly kept in. Mission accomplished. Yes, she was a trained assassin, and yes, she's an avenger, but sleep can really get to you with losing focus and a chance of spilling a drink...especially when it's dark at night like this. Well, at least the bedroom has some dim lighting on. It's dim, but not dimmer than the soft kitchen lights.

You were sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Nat to sit beside you. When she does, she's holding the mug in her hands, blowing air to the tea to cool it down for you.

You could do it yourself, both you and the widow knew that, but considering she took the opportunity to do it for you first, you let her. Plus, the way her eyes are so focused on the ripples its causing in the liquid to make it drinkable is adorable.

You wait patiently until she slowly gives the mug over to you, keeping an eye on your fingers that you put around the handle while she holds parts of it that wasn't boiling, making sure it won't fall out of either of your hands.

You take a small sip at first, and when the temperature felt okay to you, you drink it slowly, taking breaks so your body would be able to cool down.

The hot air comes out in a breath from your mouth, The warmness of the tea going down your throat filling your body with relief and relaxation.

Once you've finished after a few more minutes, Nat had been reading a book, while at the same time keeping an eye on you. You place the mug on the bedside table, and took a glance back at Nat.

She looked so worried, so tired still because she had only gotten a small amount of rest. You started thinking on how she was taking care of you, and you wished this sickness would just stop.

The way she looks up from the pages filled with ink, just to show you a smile for you finishing the tea, it hit you just as much as the other times that you got really lucky.

What if you deserved the sickness? All this good couldn't have come without a cost...right? Wrong, darling. Nat puts the book down on her bedside table, opening her arms for you to sit within.

You still had work to be finished. The events that's happened in the past week, even the small ones couldn't leave your mind, while for others, it had been easily forgotten. You should be doing more, you thought.

But you were trying. The best you could. Nat could see that, and almost everyone else could see if they knew how to simply look into a human's eyes. You were just too soft for all of it.

She only wants you to get better. Everything else didn't matter. Even Fury, Maria, and Yelena is probably worrying about you right now.

It's all crashing down. You were in her arms, and she places a gentle kiss atop your head. Her fingers gently danced at your back, drawing meaningless patterns.

Your face seemed tired, and her heart ached at the thought of how much you're suffering. You were tired, that was for sure. It was sickness after sickness, almost every week or month. You just wanted a break.

It's a vicious cycle. Sure, you kept yourself feeling great with jokes and little happy moments, but it didn't mean the worse ones weren't gonna come bite you again at random times.

You move closer into the crook of her neck, your eyes glazed over, and you couldn't have noticed it unless the moonlight had hit your eyes. When Natasha feels tears going down her neck and down to seep into her shirt, she pulls you in closer.

"Oh, милая (sweetheart)." You tried. You tried really hard to keep it inside, but a broken sob leaves your mouth at her soft and caring tone. You've been going through so much, and she knows that, even if its small things, too.

It hurt. It really did. Your throat, the headache you get every now and then, and mentally, you weren't doing all that well either. But she holds you safely, as much as she could. And that's just all you need.

"It's okay. You'll be okay." she whispers softly. Your body shakes with the emotions you held from the past. Her hand trailed up your body just to slide it down to your lower back once more. Her other hand, has her thumb rubbing the skin just below your neck, the little movement assuring you that she was there, as she always has been, and will continue to be.

It went on for a while until you were able to calm down, only dissolving into small bur sharp intakes of breath going in your liver from all the sobbing. You went quieter with each deep breath you took, Nat along with you because she knew you could feel her breathing against you, so she does deep breaths to help you fall into the same pace as her.

She goes back to normal breathing after your little hiccup sounding noises were gone. Your eyes had closed, exhausted from everything, and the way her thumb was still going forth in an up and down motion near your neck helps into making you fall asleep.

Nat looks down on your sleeping figure, glad that you were able to get your emotions out fully, and still get your sleep in. You deserved the whole world, the galaxy, and still more than that.

She leans down, whispering a soft "I love you," just near your ear before turning off the lamp and going to sleep herself.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

Bonus! - in the morning... :]

The blankets were a jumbled mess, but it still kept the both of you warm, and somehow had no little holes that the cold could sneak into.

She continues to read her book with the fairy lights she turned on on the bedpost helping her see the words written. The redhead awoke just a few minutes ago, and she would be doing her morning routine or getting breakfast ready by now, but with you on her body, getting the rest you needed, she didn't have it in herself to move.

The soft orange light from the bedroom bouncing off the walls blends with the blue sky, making itself known by going through the windows and illuminating a part of the room.

Nat had forgotten to close the curtains the night before, having been too preoccupied in taking care of you. But even so, just seeing the scene coming alive in front of her makes her feel a little more at peace.

You, too, seemed much more at peace.

------------------

A/N: If you look closely you could notice sweet nothing by taylor hidden throughout this <3

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @natsbraids-deactivated20231115 :( @animealways @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff

#🥀 dawn’s collection #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff comfort

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darkphoenix07 · 2 years

Text

Conflating Arousal

An official love story [Enemies to lovers au]

Paring : Jeong Yunho × Im Johwa

Genre : Office Romance, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Kdrama vibe

Word count : 5.4k

Synopsis : What happens when the man Johwa hates becomes her CEO?

Warning : Mention of blood, Child abuse, Sexual Assault, Self harm, Toxic relationship.

If you want me to add you in the taglist, just comment below. And reblog my post ( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ). (I'm kinda comfortable with writing with names, not y/n as I was a Wattpad writer. So bear with me.)

"He is not going anywhere," the first day at Jeong Yunho's office building starts with chaos because of Johwa shouting at him.

Yunho takes a deep breath, "I will do what I said. Mr. Choi, go to the Literary agent section, this is not your place."

San starts to leave but Johwa grabs his hand, "You're not going anywhere. We used to work together as seniors, so he is not going anywhere, Mr. Jeong!" Johwa is stubborn but Yunho is as same as her which is making things messier.

"We are getting late for your meeting with the new models," his secretary tells him who is almost as tall as him, his hair dyed in dark red, his worried face is telling how things can become a mess. He is aware of Jeong's temper which can fall heavy on Johwa if she keeps shouting this way.

"Song Mingi, I am into something," he tells his secretary and he looks down not understanding how to stop Yunho.

Johwa's grip on San's hand tightens as Yunho looks at their hand.

"I thought you all were professional but I'm disappointed," Yunho says with his same poker face.

"Maybe you should not have bought our office. You can't just buy anything and make it your own, Mr. JEONG," Wooyoung says mockingly as he is opposing this decision too. They have always worked together, now if San leaves, their working environment will be ruined.

Yunho walks in front of Johwa, "Are you dying to get fired, Ms. Im?"

"If you fire her, we all will leave," Yeosang says raising his eyebrow because that was the last straw.

Yunho smirks a little staring at Yeosang, "Do you think I care if you all leave?"

"We know you don't care about a thing, Jeong," Wooyoung says but San calls him out, "Wooyoung, enough. It's fine, I will go."

"No, San. Wasn't he always like this? Ruining our happiness just by existing? Where is Wooyoung wrong?" Yeosang says.

Johwa doesn't understand a thing about what's happening right now. She just wanted San to stay but this is turning out somewhere else.

Yunho clicks his tongue, "Alright, he stays here but if I see any of you messing around, I will fire you," he says and walks away with Mingi following him.

"Yunho, are y-" as Mingi was about to ask him, Yunho cuts him off, "Keep an eye on Im Jowha. She is getting on my nerves."

"I will but you should calm down," Mingi tells him but he only takes his coat from his chair and leaves for the meeting.

There Johwa keeps staring at her desktop screen pressing her cheeks with her own hands, "Man, I was so excited when I saw the building in the morning. But that tallroach is making me want to cry! I hate this place already."

"What did you call him again?" San asks peeking at her laughing with the others.

"TALlROACH, God!" Johwa says hitting her desk. But she starts laughing seeing everyone laughing hearing her. This is an amazing thing about her which is giving people nicknames randomly. You get a good nickname from Im Johwa if you are in good terms with her, you get a funny, bad one of you are on the bad side.

As the day finishes, they think of having dinner together. So, they all sit in a local restaurant and start enjoying their food.

As they start having soju, Johwa gets flustered drinking after ages.

"Hey, are you okay?" Wooyoung asks as she drops her head on the table which is new because she used to have so much energy after drinking two bottles.

She gets up in stance and looks at Hongjong who is still working while drinking his soju, "You, Kim Hongjong! Why do you give us so much work, you trashcan?" Her sudden shouting makes everyone in the restaurant shocked. But she starts laughing and stands up thumping her hand on the table, "Do you have a DEATH WISH?You are no good than that tallr-" Wooyoung grabs her mouth as he has seen enough, "We are going home. I'm sorry, Hongjong hyung."

Hongjong smiles because he adores Johwa as much as them then focus on his work.

"WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. NOT WHEN WE BOTH ARE DRUNK," Johwa keeps talking loud which makes them more embarrassed so Wooyoung takes her in his arms in bridal style, "YA, JUNG WOOYOUNG, YA!!!" She keeps shouting but Wooyoung takes her out and keeps her beside the driver seat. Her cursing at him is still on which isn't bothering him much.

He sighs starting the car thinking how that night was. He surely passed out after getting hit once but Johwa had to see it all and suffer alone. It must have been so hard for her.

"Hey, listen. If you are going to keep quiet, I can focus on driving. So, just sleep, I will take you home," Wooyoung says comforting her to make sure she agrees with him driving.

Johwa pouts and nods, "Yes, dickhead."

"Johwa!!!"

"Ops, slipped from my mouth," she says and passes out. She keeps mumbling like a baby though she is still asleep. A beaming smile rises on his lips staring at her time by time. He admires that person beside her so much that his heart feels light whenever she is around him.

How does she do this to me just by existing?

Wooyoung wanted to take her to her house but he is feeling more drunk than before. So, he takes her to his house which is nearby. As he stops his car, his eyes again fall on her, admiring her face. And God, those lips telling him not to hold back any longer but he can't.

Wish you weren't sleeping right now!

He sighs and firmly takes her in his arms again. After getting inside his house, he places her on his bed slowly because other beds don't seem suitable to him for her to sleep. But as he keeps her on the bed, his eyes widens smelling her.

Why does she smell so good? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her home.

He gulps and tries to leave as fast as possible but feels a grip on his shirt, "Woo..."

He looks back just to see, Johwa's cheeks looking so red, so as her lipstick, her eyes open. He doesn't understand why is she giving this invitation to him. Maybe he is too drunk to understand her expression or she is into this like him?

"What, Jo?" He asks caressing her cheeks slowly as he sits on the bed. This might be wrong but why does it feel the most right thing to do for him? Can she stop being this much adorable?

"Wooyoung," her soft voice calling his name echoes in his ear. Hasn't he longed for her to call his name this way?

What's stopping you, Wooyoung?

He asks himself and bends over her not being able to resist his alcohol, this addiction on her is beyond imagination.

"Why would you keep calling me like this?" He asks stroking her hair. He can see her soft stare at his lips.

Isn't she afraid of this anymore? Doesn't it remind her of those trauma?

Johwa's hands fall on his neck pulling him on him properly, "You look so edible right now," her sentence gives him another shock in his body which makes him press her lips with his. His hands rest under her neck as the kiss deepens, his tongue looking for her mouth for entry which he gets in no time.

Fuck, didn't he long for this day? Then, what is this weird feeling in his stomach?

He releases the kiss and attacks on her neck this time wishing to let go of this feeling.

"Wooy-ah," her soft moan starts giving him shiver but that feeling doesn't stop. Should he do this? They aren't in sense but he can stop it, right? What if he becomes another reason for her to cry? What if he can't treat her, right? Then, this relation between them will be gone too.

He backs off as soon as losing her strikes on his mind.

No I can't do this to her. Not until she approaches first in sense.

He places a kiss on her forehead, "I'm sorry, Jo. You have no idea how much I love you," he leaves her after putting blanket on her but the desire of his doesn't leave him until he falls asleep.

In the morning

Wooyoung wakes up feeling two arms embracing him, loud sobs coming out from the hand's owner's mouth.

He looks and sees Johwa's head on his chest as she is crying.

"Hey, what happened? Jo?" He asks patting her back.

"I can't lose you again. I'm sorry, you went through that. But he again left us to die," she says sobbing more than before.

Wooyoung gets up with her hugging him still, glued around him, "Look at me, I am fine. You are fine too. Take everything easily. We are perfectly fine. No one can leave us to die when we are not in trouble."

He feels bad as her sobbing doesn't stop. He heard from Ahnjong how she suffered but now as he has seen it with his own eyes, he feels worse. Ahnjong was right, Yunho gave her extra trauma on that day. But how could he leave her to die in cold and blood? Didn't he see her properly or he was too scared to take responsibility?

"Jo, calm down," he keeps patting her back and finally she calms down.

She looks at him leaving him, "I'm sorry, it was another nightmare."

"I understand. Now go, get fresh. But what about your dress?" He asks her.

"Give me any of your shirt, I can make it look like it's mine," she says flashing all of teeth to make sure it seems like a genuine smile. But Wooyoung catches the worry on her face which makes his heart clench.

Why won't you tell me anything properly?

He thinks as she leaves for getting fresh. He pulls his hair not being able to understand how to fix everything for her. But suddenly, last night's memory flashes in his mind.

What the fuck did I do? Does she remember?

He looks at his bathroom door and wonders.

On the other hand, Johwa doesn't remember a thing about last night but something hazily is in her mind which has started to bother her more.

What is it that happened?

Thinking about it, she leaves Wooyoung's house with him and reaches in front of the office.

"Woo, I'm craving ice cream. Let's buy one. I'll buy for those homeless too," Johwa says making Wooyoung chuckle. And they both buy a bunch of ice creams, while eating theirs, they get inside the building. Yunho watches them entering together and his heart feels heavy.

Some people are blessed with so much freedom and love. Not everyone has the same luck, right?

He thinks coming out from his car. His eyes still on Wooyoung and Johwa who are dancing while walking, laughing out loud, hitting each other trying to make one's ice cream.

"Did you buy their company to keep staring at them?" Yunho looks down hearing Mingi.

"I bought this company for the same reason you are working as my secretary," Yunho says getting inside another building's elevator.

He is so quite, he doesn't even get angry these days. He just stays silent with everything which has started to worry Mingi. He misses those days when he got to see how Yunho really is. But he keeps a shield in front of him and doesn't let anyone invade that place. Isn't it too much for him? Doesn't he want to leave everything and live his life as his own not someone else's.

"Song Mingi, you seem distracted," Yunho's sudden scolding brings him to earth,"I'm sorry."

He pays attention to him but his mind again roams around thinking about his best friend.

We know you don't care about a thing, maybe he should have punched Wooyoung when he said that to Yunho. He doesn't know a thing about Yunho yet. If not for San, maybe Mingi would be against Yunho too.

How did everything turned like this? Should I talk to San about him?

_____________________________◍✧*。

"Welcome, Miss Kim," San bows in front her as she enters in their office place.

"Did you talk about the new cover of my book with Yeosang? He should fix it by now," Ahnjong says sitting on a sofa of the meeting room. San switches on his laptop and keeps it on the desk, "Here, he made it. I hope it looks the same as you wanted," San knows how she likes everything to be perfect. If it lacks something she wanted, she gets so insecure about it which only San can endure. Maybe he is her 20th literary agent who stayed more than four years with her.

"It seems perfect. So, are you coming with me in my new book opening?" Ahnjong asks and San nods, "Maybe Jeong will kick me out from marketing management because earlier he said I can't be in two positions."

"You gotta be kidding me. What has he started?" Ahnjong almost screams but San keeps his hand on hers, "I will be fine."

"Don't try to fool me. I can make you lose your favorite job," Ahnjong says and starts to leave but San grabs her hand and pulls her closer to him which makes her hit his chest.

"My favorite job is to be with you, work with you. I will be fine, trust me," San says and gives her a wide smile. And she doesn't understand why that smile, those dimples calm her down so fast. She feels like her blood starts rushing slowly, her body feel so light and her mind becomes blank.

"I-I have a meeting with the CEO, I'm leaving," she says taking her hand back from him. But he keeps smiling at the way she disappears.

"Cute."

He leaves the room and sighs seeing Wooyoung staring at Johwa as she is sleeping resting her head on her desk. San remembers how Wooyoung started getting interested in Johwa from college. That time, Johwa would call him sunbae but soon, they end up being friends. It's true that after Johwa entered in their gang, it became more chaotic as Wooyoung and Johwa radiate same energy. They are like twins from their personality but they didn't seem to fight much because Wooyoung always let her win the argues. Wooyoung seems calm around her to notice her crackhead works, smiles at them which was very unlike him.

"Im Johwa, quit sleeping in working time," Hongjong shouts at her throwing some files on her desk which startles her, "Sorry, sir."

She arranges those files at one place and San gets a call from Hongjong to discuss something. And Hongjong tells him that he might have to leave the office because Yunho won't allow his double position. Which starts making everyone anxious.

After lunchtime, Ahnjong again enters in their office place, "Guys, Choi San is not leaving. I made sure of that with Hongjong," she says and they start clapping. Wooyoung and Jowha jump on San hugging him.

"But," Ahnjong takes a deep breath before uttering the next sentence, "He is no longer my agent."

"What?" San gets shocked hearing her. He reaches in front of her, "Really? That's what you did? Did I ask for it, Ahnjong?"

"You didn't join here as a literary agent, San. You joined as a marketing manager. You did major on marketing. You are not supposed to stick with me just because no one else can handle me," Ahnjong says and her every words sound right to everyone in the room without San.

San kicks the floor in frustration, "You are not supposed to make my decisions."

"I did what was good for you. You didn't see that," Ahnjong says.

"Really? That's what you do for me? Do you think it will give me happiness?" San asks.

"Of c-" Ahnjong gets cut off by Johwa, "Look at you two fighting over something which is none of your fault. It's all because of that scumbag. God, why did he have to buy our office? We were doing so fine all these years. But he had to ruin it all."

"And also, he could have let us stay the way we wanted to be. He said we were growing, so why not let us do what we do normally? Our company policy is different, his are different, why haven't he thought about it? I swear I might punch him someday," Talking she almost reaches near to Ahnjong, "I'm telling you, let's not fight because of that tallroach. God, I want to strangle him so-"

"Johwa, don't," Wooyoung tries to stop her seeing Yunho at their door but she continues, "Why don't, man? Why don't we sue him or maybe kill him, I'm se-" she says and looks a Wooyoung which makes her see Yunho finally. Her eyes get big and she looks down, "G-good afternoon, Mr. Jeong," she says bowing.

"Ms. Im, go down on the last floor and walk up here or else you will get fired," Yunho straight up says as he can't endure her either. She keeps badmouthing about him and has taken what was is, how can he let that go?

"Are you serious? It's 14th floor," Ahnjong says defending.

"Oh, you may take off your heels," Yunho says not even caring about what Ahnjong said.

"I can do it with my heels," Johwa says and starts leaving but stops hearing him again, "I'll be watching you. So, don't you use the elevator."

"I am not a coward unlike someone," Johwa says and passes by him.

Everyone keeps giving Yunho death glare but he casually sits on a sofa of their office place crossing his legs showing them how he doesn't give a fuck about them being mad at him. He only cares about making her suffer for now.

Johwa comes back after a while panting heavily, glaring at Yunho.

"You are fast, Ms. Im. Hope you didn't take the elevator," Yunho gives a sarcastic smile and stands up, "Now call Mr. Kim, I have some works with him."

Johwa again goes to call Hongjong and he comes out then leaves with Yunho.

As they gets in the elevator, "I am with you, let's murder him," Ahnjong says crossing her hands.

"Stop being like that to him. And what is wrong with you, Johwa? You never had grudges on someone," San says because that's the same thing as his with Johwa. She always forgives everyone easily, doesn't hold back any grudges on someone but yet she is being like that to him.

"San, are you still on his side? Why didn't you leave with him then? Why did you stay with us? Didn't we already tell you why Johwa is being like that? He left us to die, yet you are on his side?" Wooyoung asks San.

"I'm sure you are mistaken. He would never do that. He can't even see someone hurt, why would he do that to Johwa?" San asks defending Yunho as usual.

"Oh, San. Stop being such an idiot. He doesn't care anymore, don't you get it? He made Johwa climb 14th floor and you are still saying he can't see anyone hurt?" Ahnjong says.

"God, I'm done talking to you all," San says and leaves the room feeling disturbed.

"We made him mad guys. I'm bringing him," Johwa says and follows San.

"Sana, wait. Ya," Johwa keeps calling him but he doesn't listen.

Johwa suddenly feels are feet burning and stumbles, "Ouch," and draws his attention finally.

"Hey, careful. You walked all the way up here," San says holding her hand.

"Let's sit," he helps her sit on a bench by the corridor and takes off her heels.

"You've got blisters," San says staring at her feet.

"I'll be fine, don't worry. But you look so disturb. Come here, sit," Johwa says holding his hand and making him sit beside her.

San sighs, "I am disturbed. Yunho, Mingi used be our friends from middle school. He was quite at first but started to show up who he was slowly. He was such a happy pill, taking care of everyone of us, making us happy when we felt down. But his mother is such a dangerous person. She is so manipulative and controlling which is why Yunho ended up losing himself, losing us. But what is worse is, Yunho respects his mother blindly and he thinks whatever she does is for his good. He doesn't know how far his mother can get to control him. And Wooyoung thinks he has turned into his mother now. But I know, I feel like he needs us. I feel like we shouldn't ignore how his life is getting ruined like this," San finishes and Johwa notices a glimpse of tears in his eyes.

He sighs, "He must feel lonely but I'm glad Mingi is still by his side. But I'm sure, Yunho is in trouble and he needs us to become what he was. This is not like him, Johwa. This is not the real Yunho. This is a Yunho with a mask put by his mother. I can't see him like that," San finishes and a drop of tears fall from his eyes.

He can feel Yunho's laugh ringing in his ears, his smiles, his hugs, he hasn't forgotten a thing.

"I don't know but you are too good for this world, you know that?" Johwa says and San smiles hearing her.

"I don't understand him either. I haven't seen his good side, I won't be able to understand like you do. But Wooyoung is never wrong unless he thinks about anything being mad," Johwa says.

"Wooyoung is mad because he doesn't have a good history with Yunho. It ended badly with them," San tells Johwa but suddenly sees Johwa's eyes getting big for the 100th time.

"What happened to you?" San asks.

"Speaking of Wooyoung, I feel like I have kissed him last night," Johwa says as a flashback comes in her mind.

"WHAT? You did what?"

_____________________________◍✧*。

Yunho's pov

From the time I've seen her, there has been one thing in my mind and that is, she took my place. She is somewhere I used to be. They used to stand up for me, they used be by my side but now they are all with her. Not wanting, I've started to feel tormented by her which is why I hate her. I hate her because she has what I don't, what I wish for. She is so ungrateful, so loud in my head telling me that I don't deserve to be with them.

Why? Why is she doing this to me?

Even Iseul is busy tonight, what am I gonna do without her?

"Should I come over?" Mingi asks as he stopped the car in front of my penthouse.

I don't want to bother him. He is taking too much for me though he loves something else. Working with me must be very hectic for him but he is so stubborn to take care of me. I don't understand why he still cares or how he still cares. He should have been with them. Yet he is with me.

"No, I'm fine," I lied confidently. So, he believed it. As he left, I can feel my thoughts overwhelming me already. I can feel people watching me, spying on me so that they can tell mom how I did today, how I came alone which will probably make her happy.

But as I sink in the darkness of my room, I can feel my feet trembling. Oh god, it has been such a terrible day. I longed for seeing them again but not like this. I wanted them to stop misunderstanding me but I guess I added some more. How did I end up this way? Just how?

One thing, there is one thing that can save me from this trouble. My escape, my comfort.

Falling on my bed without changing my dress, I only can care about reading her book. And when I looked the name of her on the front page, my heart feels ease, "CHARLOTTE"

Her website is my most favorite thing of this brutal world. Those pages give me joy.

"I have never life this way but It is always this way, brutal, unfair and cold. If it is what it is, I can still break through every chains, I can get into every abandoned castle and make it mine, I can get back the lost what was mine once. I can be what I wanted to be and I don't need him for that anymore. I can do it myself"

I don't know why, I feel my heartache lessening with those words. Will I be ever able to meet her? Will I be able to be the person to publish her books?

Who are you exactly, Charlotte?

End of pov

"Eunseo, how is it? I published it a while ago," Johwa calls her best friend and she stares at her laptop.

"Man, when are you supposed to publish your book? You stupid bitch," Eunseo says hitting her.

"It's not still as good as I want to," Johwa says pouting and Eunseo holds her hands, "How good are you planning to become? You already very good. I bet you can suppress Ahnjong."

"Never, I can never. Go sleep, I'll come after publishing another. I need to stop thinking about something, so I need to keep writing," Johwa says thinking about Wooyoung incident.

"About what?" Eunseo asks and Johwa pushes her on bed, "Nothing serious. Haha, I'll join you. Go, sleep," Johwa say laughing awkwardly.

"O-okay," Eunseo knows her expression but doesn't ask anything because Johwa is not good at keeping secrets from her anyway.

Johwa takes a deep breath and starts writing again.

Next day

Johwa gets late for her office and takes her scooter with her. As she parks it outside the building, it starts raining making her white shirt soak.

"Fuck, how am I supposed to get inside now?" She gets afraid staring at her shirt making her bra visible.

"What do I do?" She looks up as it's still raining, "Really? Why is my luck so bad? I mean first getting late now this? What exactly do you want for me?" She keeps on talking to God taking shelter outside the office.

Suddenly she feels something covering her. As she looks at the pair of hands, she sees her CEO standing with the same poker face. But damn his slick black hair, his tight shirt making his muscle visible and rosy lips start making Johwa gulp. It is being hard to take her eyes off those lips and that handsome face of his.

What the fuck are you thinking, Johwa?

She slaps herself making Yunho more disgusted with her. Why would anyone slap herself like this?

"You should not get late and curse God for something you are to blame for," he says and leaves before Johwa can say a thing.

"Why would you help me and ruin my mood at the same time, tallroach? God, why did I even stare at him like that?" She again slaps herself, this time twice and enters in the building.

Noticing an unknown bigger coat on Johwa, Wooyoung squints his eyes, "Whose are those?"

"These? You won't believe. They are t-" she stops as Wooyoung takes off his coat and changes the coats taking Yunho's one in hand, "tallraoch's," she finally finishes saying not understanding what is wrong with this man.

"Why would he act sweet with you now? Is your feet okay?" Wooyoung asks.

"Y-yeah," she says and her eyes fall on his lips. She blinks twice as the flashback comes in her mind again.

Why the fuck am I into everyone's lips now? When did I become a pervert?

This time she mentally slapped her and sits on her desk but ends up hitting her feet with the table, "Fuck," curses and sits casually which is so like her so anyone doesn't even bother asking her what happened.

She starts working but Wooyoung is being so distractive that she can't seem to focus on work.

"Ms. Im, can you bring the files from January from the store room? I need to check something," Hongjong says after a minute.

"Yes, sir," she gets up taking her phone and calls Eunseo to vent or else she might throw up badly.

"I think I'm sick," is the first thing she says her best friend.

"What happened now?" Eunseo asks feeding her baby food.

"I hit my head badly that day. So, I'm doing stupid things," she tells Eunseo getting on the ladder to find the files.

Pressing her phone on her shoulder with her ear, she keeps searching for the file."

"Stop making it your story prologue and tell me what happened?" Eunseo says knowing something is really embarrassing happening to her which is why she is talking shits before talking about the actual thing.

"I think I kissed Wooyoung when I was drunk and he took me home," Johwa says and Eunseo scrams, "What?" making her baby cry.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I don't even know why I did it. I'm afraid of kissing, right? Then why would I end up kissing my best friend? It doesn't make sense," Johwa says.

"Bitch my baby is crying for your stupid works. What exactly happened?" Eunseo asks and Johwa almost screams, "I don't know, my mind is such a mess right now. And today that tallroach. Ugh, I was staring at his lips. God, I never knew he was so handsome. Have I really gone mad?"

"Didn't you say you hate him?" Eunseo asks.

"I still do but that doesn't change his good looks man. But tell me why did I kiss, Wooyoung? This is so embarrassing!" Johwa says placing her hands on the shelf.

"You need to go for check-up. Your CEO has turned you into a mental patient."

"Do you know? He is such a sadist. He made me climb 14th floor. I mean who does that to his employee? He is such an asshole. My feet hurt so bad. I wish I could've burn him into ashes and blow them into a-" she gets scared as she looks back for climbing down seeing Yunho standing next to her ladder, "Oh my lu-aaaa," she slips from the ladder and starts falling.

This asshole is never going to hold me, I'm doomed. I'm getting fired. I hope I die falling from the ladder. God, I am such a dumb.

And in the end of the day, we find the things we manifest to get unknowingly. Isn't it enough to know that there is a power in ourselves?

Will he save her? I wouldn't if I was him💀

Prologue

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kurt-nightcrawler · 4 years

Text

Fairytale

Warren Worthington III x Female Reader

Request 1: Omg I just read the I have a boyfriend and the opposites attract and I'm aksjksjeje. Idk if ur taking requests, but in case u are I need more on that mother nature reader and Warren pleaaaaseee!!! Maybe something with angst, like some conflict in their relationship, but with a happy would be greatttttt I absolutely love ur writing

Request 2: Hi love!:D idk if you’re taking requests or if you’re in the works of smth, but like, I’ve had this idea in my head about your fic of Mother Nature with what she said about the weather affecting her. Like it’s winter season or smth and the sun has not been out for days (and maybe Ororo is not around to help??) so she’s feeling weak and Warren is doing all he can so she can get better🥺 I reaally love your writing💕 💕

Warnings: swearing and angst

Word Count: 12.5k

“How long will you be gone?”

“A few weeks. We should be back before December 21st.”

(Y/N) huffed, that was almost two weeks, plus the holidays were coming up. “Stay safe, okay? All I want for Christmas is you.”

Warren rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead, “I already got you a gift.”

(Y/N) thanked him and he just held her tighter.

Warren went on a mission with Raven, Alex, Kurt, Ororo, and Jean. They were going to Italy to stop some mafia mutant issue. “Which is stupid,” Scott retorted. “We live in New York. Surely the mafia isn’t only terrorizing mutants in Italy.”

(Y/N) shrugged, “Probably.”

Her mind wandered as Jubilee talked to Scott about their final for Dr. McCoy. I need to water the plants in the greenhouse. (Y/N) yawned, she felt a sudden wave of drowse come over herself. I’ve been so tired lately…

It wasn’t a mystery why (Y/N) had been so tired lately. It was because of the weather. The earlier it got dark, the less energy she had— and with it getting colder, her abilities were limited. Most of the plants in her room had gone dormant. (Y/N) was worried she would too, but it hadn’t gotten cold enough.

“I think we should go skating tomorrow,” Jubilee suggested.

“Just the four of us?” Peter asked.

“Do you see anyone else? They’re all in Italy.” Peter squinted his eyes at Jubilee as she was sarcastic. “The rink is open, it’s December, and I’m bored! I wanna pick up cute girls.”

“Isn’t ice skating like a go-to in Hallmark Christmas movies?” Scott asked.

“Why do you know that?” Jubilee asked.

“We watch those all the time on nights with the boys,” Peter explained. “They’re awful and all the same. There was one where a girl was in love with a ghost and another where a girl texted her dead mom to grieve… I’m so lucky I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

(Y/N) laughed, hallmark Christmas films were pretty cheesy and cliche.

“I mean yeah, you’re right, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go skating, or do something. Everyone is gone and we need to stay active.”

Peter and Scott both looked at Jubilee with confusion. “But we’re all in pretty good shape.”

“No, I mean (Y/N),” She whispered to the boys.

“What’s wrong with her? She looks fine.” Scott said, quickly checking her out as she was preoccupied with her phone.

“Around winter, she tends to get weaker cause it’s colder and the sun goes down earlier…”

“Yeah… We know…”

“No, you guys don’t get it. During the winter plants go into like, hibernation— and if it gets too cold and (Y/N) falls asleep she’ll go dormant. The only safe places are her room and an area set up in the lab.”

“We have to keep her awake all winter?” Peter asked curiously.

“No, we just have to make sure she only falls asleep in her bedroom and stays there. It’s the only ace place because it’s like a greenhouse sort of…”

“What happens if we don’t?...”

“She could die!”

“Who could die?” (Y/N) asked.

“Scarlett Johanson’s stunt-double. I mean have you seen the new Black Widow trailer?” Jubilee asked without missing a beat.

“Eh, I dunno. She’s a professional, plus stunt-doubles are kind of expected to get hurt… while it’s not preferable an innocent gets hurt,... they did sign up for it.”

“I never thought of it like that…” Scott said almost seeing off-handed while trying to noticeably glare at Jubilee.

“Well, I’ve got to go. I promised Catherine I’d help make gingerbread cookies.” Everyone wished (Y/N) some form of goodbye, or have fun, leaving them alone.

“(Y/N) is going to die?!” Peter almost screamed.

“No! No, no— (Y/N) is not going to die. She’s done this longer than I’ve known her. I think she was like, thirteen when these first started happening. I didn’t know (Y/N) until we were 15, but still.” Jubilee continued on, “She’ll either pass out randomly in the middle of December or January and hibernate until March or April, or she won’t go dormant and just have to spend most of the spring outside, like soaking up the sunshine or whatever. “

“Oh, okay. So this is normal. Great. (Y/N) might fucking die every winter and we just have to act like children on thin ice? Deal with it somehow?” Peter looked like he was freaking out.

“I said she’s been doing this for years, plus she hasn’t died yet. We’ll be fine.”

Scott’s gut was telling him something different, but he blamed that on his constant anxiety.

Five days after Warren left

(Y/N), Scott, Peter, and Jubilee all went ice skating. Jubilee and Peter attempted to spy on cute girls, while Scott tried to act perfect, and (Y/N) tried her best to not lean against the wall too much. It was fun, but indoor rinks are as cold as the outside ones. (Y/N) bundled up enough, but she still got chills.

Scott took everyone to some artsy coffee shop that Jean adored. He claimed they had a killer hot chocolate. Jubilee already tried it once before, being Jean’s best friend/roommate. Peter thought it was kind of watery and not that great, and (Y/N) didn’t think it was bad but…

“You overhyped it. It’s good though.” Scott pouted, and Peter laughed through Twinkie bites and hot chocolate sips. (Y/N) felt warm and fuzzy inside. Almost… sleepy…

Her mind started to drift… Warren… everything they’d do when he got back from Italy…

Their first winter holiday together… all the shitty hallmark movies we can watch with Scott and Peter… the—

“(Y/N)!”

“Huh?!” She rubbed her eyes and tried to seem awake. “What is it?”

“You were dozing off there,” Scott pointed out.

“Oh.” She scratched her head. “Sorry. Haha,” Her laugh was somewhat sarcastic. “Just don’t let me, uh… Don’t let me pass out. Wouldn’t wanna get nicknamed Sleeping Beauty.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Peter joked.

Nine days after Warren left

Peter taught everyone, or attempted to, teach everyone how to make a seven-layered cake. Jubilee and Scott kept sneaking batter, while (Y/N) was struggling to not use her powers.

“Okay, but like, I could get sugar from a plant or—“

“No!” Jubilee protested, batter on the corner of her mouth. “We— we have all these ingredients here. Why waste them?”

(Y/N) squinted her eyes, they were a bit purple, but she let it slide and grabbed sugar and other dry ingredients from the cabinets.

“If she uses too much strength she could pass out. It’s been snowing hard for the past two days, and it’s been cloudy all week.”

“Can’t she eat a protein bar or drink some coffee or something?” Peter whispered.

Jubilee shook her head, “No, she needs vitamin D. Like, from the sun. More than a normal person does.”

(Y/N) set the sugar on the counter and looked at the recipe from Peter’s mom, reading bits out loud, “We need 2 and 1⁄4 cups of sugar.” She looked at the measuring cups, trying to find the one she needed.

“Hey, Scott! We agreed no phones out,” Jubilee scolded him.

He rolled his eyes, “You sound like a teacher… I was just checking a package I ordered…”

“If you actually bought that $200 lightsaber you were telling me about,” (Y/N) joked, “I will scream.”

Peter scoffed, “Please, Jean got him that for Christmas.” His face fell soon as the words left his mouth. “Shit…”

“No, she didn’t. We had a budget and—“ Jubilee and Peter both looked at their feet, eyes wide and sheepish. “I am not worth $200.”

“You sound like Warren,” Jubilee complained, cracking eggs into a separate bowl.

“It’s true! I don’t want her to spend money on me.” He glanced at his phone again.

“She’s not going to text you. No one is allowed to bring phones on missions, because the government can like, track you and shit.” Peter reminded him.

“I know, I know… but what if something happened? What if someone died or they got stuck and stranded and—“

(Y/N) put a hand on Scott’s shoulder, “Calm down Romeo. They’re going to be fine. If something happens, Xavier will let us know.” Scott nodded, trying to believe (Y/N) was right.

Fifteen Days after Warren left

(Y/N) was getting sick and tired. Tired of her friends never leaving her alone, the panic on their faces if she so much as yawned or rubbed her eyes, she was sick of them being so nervous. More so Scott and Peter than Jubilee.

Of course, they meant well, and just wanted to make sure she didn’t fall into a coma, but she didn’t need to be doted over like a tropical plant lost in the arctic.

(Y/N) huffed as she messed with her hair in the bathroom mirror. Her leaves looked less colorful, more brown and dead, the vines around her legs were gone, and her eyes looked like she hadn’t been sleeping. She had, but it was hard, the sun went down at 5 PM, and it was cloudy and cold every day it seemed.

I just want Warren here. He’d make everything better. We could cuddle and nap together…

(Y/N)’s turned blue and red as she stopped daydreaming and ran her toothbrush underwater.

By nature, (Y/N) was not a gossip girl or a secret keeper— people saw her as a Disney princess, a few of the younger students even called her “Mother Nature”... but she had ruined her status by lying to the person she cared about most.

She didn’t tell Warren about her dormant state, about how she could sleep until possibly March. She wanted to stay awake and active all winter. She wanted to spend her time with her angel.

But he was in Italy fighting crime, and wouldn’t be back until mere days before Christmas.

She had to be awake for Christmas and New Year’s. After that, it didn’t matter.

Wait. Then she remembered Valentine’s Day.

I have to be awake for that too. And Warren’s birthday… I can’t miss those… She made herself a promise she wouldn’t go dormant this winter.

She glanced out the window as she scrubbed her teeth with the toothbrush. It was snowing again, thick heavy flakes came down almost in chunks.

Twenty Days after Warren left

(Y/N) accidentally drank out of Peter’s cup without realizing it for about thirty minutes. Why did it matter?

Peter had caffeine in his soda, and (Y/N) did not. She was planning to go to bed in her room, and wake up when the sun rose to conserve energy.

Now, she was staying up late with her friends, watching some crappy zombie movie on late-night TV.

“They could easily just move to an island. Use the old man’s boat. The zombies can’t swim!” (Y/N) argued during a commercial break.

“Yeah, but there’s never any logic in these things.” Peter drowsed.

“I guess so. It’s kind of dumb though…”

Peter shrugged and took a sip of his drink, “Yeah, but it’s like Sharknado. They make money, it doesn’t matter if it’s bad or not.”

(Y/N) didn’t retaliate, as the final commercial ended and the screen faded to black, signaling the movie was back on.

Scott couldn’t remember when he fell asleep. He rubbed his eyes and tried to see who was all around him.

Peter was passed out on the floor for some reason, Jubilee was asleep on one side of the couch… and Scott saw (Y/N), passed out with her head laying on a pillow.

“Shit! (Y/N)!” He shook her, trying to get a reaction, but nothing happened. He repeated her name trying to undo her slumber until the other two woke.

“What’s wrong?” Peter asked, hair tussled and eyes half-closed.

“(Y/N) fell asleep on the couch!” Scott was panicking. He had one job— one job from Jubilee, “Make sure she only falls asleep in her bedroom or else she won’t wake up until March.”

“Scott! Stop it!” Jubilee pulled him away from (Y/N)’s sleeping figure. “You could kill her!”

“What—” He turned to Jubilee, “What do we do then?”

“Peter, get Professor McCoy up here.”

“But it’s 4 AM…” Jubilee gave him a deadly glare and he sped off.

Scott was ordered to sit and be quiet while Peter got McCoy.

“She fell asleep. She drank some of my soda earlier, causing her to not be tired. We thought we could get her sleepy by watching a movie, but we all fell asleep before she did…” Peter was giving Hank a 30-second recap, with 3000 words.

“Peter, everything’s going to be fine.” Hank carefully scooped (Y/N) up in his arms, bridal style. He looked her over up close. Her skin looked pale, the leaves and flowers in her hair were gone, all that was left were dried twigs, and the vines usually wrapped around her legs were concealed by sweatpants, so he couldn’t take note on them. “I’m taking her to the medical bay. Everyone go to sleep, you can come back in the morning…” Hank glanced at the time, “You can come back later.”

The three mutants walked to their rooms quietly. Jubilee made a stop at a bathroom to brush her teeth, while Peter and Scott went straight to their dorm.

Peter used his speed to get changed and hop in bed. “I’ll leave the light on while you get changed.” Scott didn’t answer, he didn’t move. “Scott?”

“What if she dies?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“Jubilee said she’s been doing this for years, (Y/N)‘s not gonna die.” Scott still didn’t move, causing Peter to sit up and face his roommate better. “Everything will be okay. McCoy knows what to do, and this is no different than when bears go hibernate for the winter or when geese fly south. She’ll be fine.”

“We don’t know that. If something interrupts her she could die—“

“She won’t.” Peter knew he knew, what Scott was thinking. Scott did what anyone would have done. Tried to jostle her awake, he didn’t know what else to do.

“Do you know what it’s like?...”

Peter hadn’t the slightest idea what Scott was referencing, he kept his mouth shut, trying to figure it out.

“To have almost killed someone? Your parents arguing with theirs, lawsuits being threatened, your life could end before theirs and the doctors think they’re on borrowed time… How you know you deserve to be punished, and instead you’re just sent away, to be with more family and start new. You try to be better than you ever were, and people— they believe it. You deserve everything you’ve worked for… and then you go and fuck up! It’s one thing to have your mutation surface and have chunks of ceiling and a bathroom door put a school bully in a coma— but to hurt someone like (Y/N)?...” Scott’s voice trembled. His cheeks were covered in his tears. “If anything happens it’s going to be my fault. Warren’s going to blame me because everyone talks me up about how responsible I am and all these leadership qualities I have, that I actually don’t. Warren is going to kill me if she doesn’t wake up—“ He choked out a sob.

Peter was quick to wrap the boy in his arms. “Hey, hey… shh… shh… You didn’t hurt her. She’s going to be fine. Hank picked her up and carried her to his lab and she did fine. You shaking her didn’t do anything.” Scott continued weeping.

“How about you take a shower, and then we can go see her, okay?” Peter talked slower than ever before and with softness, enough to be gentle, but not so much you’d think Scott was a child.

He nodded, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

“Okay, come on buddy…”

Hank had carefully dressed her in a hospital gown and hooked her up to various equipment. Everything seemed normal for her coma-like state. He didn’t wake her up carrying her downstairs.

Hank sat down in a chair next to her. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had no idea what to do.

This had happened before, but Hank just kept her in his lab and he wouldn’t do anything until she woke up. Sometimes students would visit to see how she was doing… Most of the time they’d just whisper and watch her for a few minutes before leaving, some made jokes about how she needed Prince Charming to kiss and wake her up.

Hank hesitated allowing Charles tell the team what happened. They wouldn’t be back for another week, and he didn’t want to cause a distraction for them.

“Hey Doc,” Peter waved. Scott was standing next to him.

Hank quickly put his glasses back on and stood up. “What are you doing awake? You should be asleep.”

“Couldn’t sleep. Figured we could come by, see how (Y/N)’s doing.”

“Yeah— she’s doing fine. Vitals are steady and her heartbeat is regular. All we have to do is wait.” Hank faked some optimism. He knew why they were there, and she was fine— except, Hank had no idea when she’d awake.

“Did you tell Xavier what happened?” Scott asked.

“Yeah, he knows. He said there’s nothing we can do until she wakes up. We have the option to wake her and keep her in the green room, but that’s easier said than done…” Scott looked pale. Hank cursed to himself for freaking the kid out. “Trust me, this is the best option for her.” Scott nodded.

“Yeah… “ Peter tried to distract him. “Why don’t we eat some leftover cake?”

“I’m not hungry Pete,” Scott answered.

“Well I am, and you’re not going to mope around down here. It’ll like, give (Y/N) a bad vibe. Come on.” Scott sighed and followed Peter out of the med bay.

Twenty four days after Warren left

Warren was exhausted, Everyone was. The mission went smoothly, or smoothly as it could, considering the number of minor injuries everyone bore.

“We’ve got a few more hours until we’re home,” Alex announced, checking in on the younger X-Men.

Ororo, Jean, and Kurt were playing go fish. Warren was watching, contributing nothing to the game but sarcastic comments and jokingly-judgemental looks.

“Great, thanks,” They replied.

Alex nodded and walked back to his seat in the cockpit. He pulled something small and rectangular out of his pocket. Warren carefully watched from the corner of his eye.

Is that a cell phone?

Cell phones weren’t allowed on missions. They were distractions, not to mention out of rage cellular fees were expensive— plus with modern technology comes tracking. Having something as minor as a cellphone on a mission could jeopardize the whole operation simply because someone wanted to use google maps and see where the nearest Starbucks was.

“Alex?”

“Yeah?” He stuck the object in his pocket.

“What is that?” Warren kept his down, as to not alert the others.

“What?”

“The thing in your pocket. What is it?”

“Warren—“

Warren was pissed. “It’s a cellphone isn’t it?”

“It’s a burner phone. In case of an emergency—“

“Why’d you take it out?”

“Hank texted me.”

“Oh, great.” Warren spat, “You bring a phone on missions in case you miss your little boyfriend.”

“Warren—“

“No!” He spoke out. At this point, everyone was watching. “You don’t get to break the rules and endanger the mission!”

“Warren, calm down.”

“You can’t tell me—“

“Someone at the mansion got hurt, bird brain. That’s why Alex’s using the burner to text Hank.” Raven rolled her eyes. Dramatic much?

“What?”

No one knew this, not even Jean. They all tuned into the conversation.

“Who did?”

“What happened?”

“Everything’s fine.”Alex lied.

“No, it’s not. You wouldn’t be texting Hank if it was.”

Jean discreetly put two fingers to her temple, trying to figure out who got hurt. Raven saw her and glared, mentally telling her to stop.

“Sorry.”

“Everyone settle down. We have a few hours left until we’re back in Westchester. Just chill out until then.”

Warren rolled his eyes and sat by himself, thinking Raven’s little distraction speech was stupid.

He couldn’t help it— acting all childish— he missed (Y/N) and he really hated having to share a bed with Kurt on missions. Kurt’s tail got all tangled and Warren’s wings were cramped.

It was different from when he’d cuddle with (Y/N). He’d wrap his wings around her, and she’d grow flowers in her sleep around them. It was soothing… He’d wake up refreshed, and looking at his wonderful girlfriend. Kurt was… a major downgrade… he was a decent roommate, but he couldn’t stand him as a bedmate.

Warren yawned, making a note to sleep for ten years and hold (Y/N) while he did it, once he got back home.

The basketball court came into view, and the ground caved in, letting Raven land the Jet in its hangar. Alex announced they were back and free to get off the ship. The rest of the team hastily grabbed their bags and ran out of the X-Jet.

Outside waiting for them was Jubilee, Peter, and Scott. Hank wasn’t there.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Warren teased Alex.

He didn’t respond.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Jean mocked Warren.

Warren did a double-take as Peter and Jubilee spoke to Raven and Ororo. (Y/N) wasn’t there.

“Hey, guys.” The three that stayed behind looked up with guilty expressions on their face as soon as they looked at Warren.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” He asked.

No answer.

Warren asked again, but more concerned, “Guys, where’s (Y/N)?”

“She’s not dead—“ Jubilee hit Peter and scolded him.

“What does that mean?”

The group exchanged nervous eye contact. They weren’t sure how to explain it, but if they didn’t Warren was probably going to attempt murder.

“She’s in what Hank calls a ‘dormant state’. Basically hibernation—“ Warren’s face visibly paled. “Except waking her up is way more complicated…”

“So she’s in a coma?...” He asked.

“Yeah, basically…” Jubilee admitted.

“How did this happen?”

“(Y/N)’s mutation, I thought she told you…”

“Told me what?” Jubilee didn’t answer him. “What, Jubilee?”

Alex put his hand on Warren’s shoulder. “Maybe Hank should explain it…”

“So she won’t wake up until March?”

“April at the latest,” Hank answered.

“And you let this happen?” He turned to Jubilee, Scott, and Peter. They were terrified of what Warren might do.

“No, no, they didn’t,” Hank defended them. “Her body just does this. It’s no different than that time of month…”

“A period isn’t four months long,” Warren mumbled.

“Let’s give him a moment alone with her.” Hank ushered everyone out, shutting the door behind him.

Warren sank in the chair next to (Y/N)’s body. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Fuck,” He mumbled. “Fuck, fuck,” Tears welled in his eyes. “Fuck!” He screamed. He put his fist up to his mouth to muffle his sobs.

“How could… Why didn’t she tell me?” Warren looked at (Y/N)’s figure. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Warren felt his heart breaking. She looked so… so dead.

But she wasn’t. She wasn’t dead but she wouldn’t wake until March.

It was December.

“Hank said… he said, we could wake you up, but there’s a chance you’ll die. And I’d rather have you like this than dead…” He turned away and mouthed cursed under his breath.

Warren didn’t know what to do. Sure, he wasn’t necessarily one of those clingy boyfriends, whose only life purpose is to serve his girlfriend… but he really liked her.

He wanted to spend more time with her than he ever could. She understood when he had nightmares or needed space. They never fought— their biggest disagreement was on a stupid homework problem.

She made earrings out of some of his metal feathers, he learned how to take care of all kinds of plants. She showed him how to be compassionate and kind, he showed her how to be assertive and throw a decent punch.

Peter teased him all the time, saying he was “in loooove,” dragged out o and everything. He’d always tell him to shut up or piss off.

Because maybe he was in love with her.

“But I’m her first boyfriend.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be her first love.”

“That means I’ll hurt her…” Warren’s voice cracked. “I don’t wanna hurt her…”

He didn’t know she’d hurt him.

Warren wasn’t allowed to sit at (Y/N)’s side all day, or even all week. He had work to make up for when he was in Italy— homework, mid-terms, laundry, post-mission exam— not to mention Christmas was in five days.

He tried to keep himself busy in the first two days, and he overachieved everything he had to do. Which inevitably, left him with nothing to do.

“God, you look miserable,” Peter commented when Warren made his way into the kitchen, bags under his eyes, messy bed-head hair, sweatpants hung low, and a wrinkly t-shirt.

“I stayed up, deep cleaning my closet. I’ve got some stuff I’m gonna donate.”

“That’s nice.” Jean curtly commented.

Nobody knew what to say. They weren’t sure what would trigger Warren.

“We were all gonna see Knives Out,” Scott said. “A day off for everyone, chance to get last-minute gifts…”

“Not interested.” Warren poured himself a bowl of cornflakes.

“Come on,” Jubilee almost begged. “You haven’t left the mansion at all in the past few days.”

“I have stuff to do.” He poured milk into his bowl.

“Warren, you deep cleaned your closet at midnight. You have nothing to do and this will keep you occupied for a while.” Jubilee pointed out.

He was tired, “I don’t want to leave the mansion. What if something happens—“

“(Y/N)’s going to be fine.”

Warren held his spoon tightly in his fist. “That’s what I thought before I went to Italy— Look at her now! She’s in a coma.”

“She’ll wake up in the spring,” Kurt offered up to calm Warren down.

“This could have been prevented. I should have been here—“ Warren felt himself breakdown. He started crying, and no one knew what to do. Ororo got up from her seat and hugged him. He sobbed into her shoulder.

Ororo gave him words of comfort, “It’s okay, this is normal for her. Distance will do you good. Everything’s going to be okay… You should get out, get fresh air.”

Warren nodded and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, “Uh-huh.”

“Come see the movie with us,” She suggested.

“Okay, yeah… I’ll— I’ll go get ready.” He put his bowl in the sink and went out of the kitchen.

��Holy shit.” Peter’s eyes were wide with shock. “He’s a mess!”

Jubilee swatted him with her hand, “Hush! He’s clearly upset… His girlfriend’s in hibernation until March.”

“Yeah, but like, he just started crying,” Peter stated. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Warren cry before… He just looked so broken, like, holy shit. I don’t think I was that upset when I got cheated on by my girlfriend, junior year on prom night…” The worst part is, we could have prevented this.”

“I think I’m gonna puke,” Scott mumbled.

“Hey!” Ororo chasted the two boys. “I don’t care what happened while we were gone, but you’re both acting pathetic. This is no one’s fault! Get your heads out of your asses and be there for Warren.”

“We should wake her up…” Everyone looked at Scott like he was crazy.

“And risk killing her?” Ororo asked.

“Yeah, no,” Peter answered. “Romeo may follow suit.”

Warren didn’t want to go outside, but he needed to keep busy, or else he’d start crying again.

He was a mess— he knew Kurt was tired of him staying up all night, doing anything and everything to keep busy… but when he closed his eyes he was face to face with nightmares— (Y/N)’s practically lifeless body lying in the hospital bed, her never waking up, or if she did she’d have amnesia and not remember anyone.

Warren couldn’t sleep, but staying up all night would eventually take its toll on him, or he’d run out of things to do.

Warren got changed and quickly ran downstairs to the medical bay. He wanted to check on (Y/N) before he left.

“How is she?”

“Same as she has been for the past few days,” Hank answered. “Everything’s normal, and she’s doing fine— great actually.”

Warren nodded, “Um, I just wanted to see how she was doing. I’m going out with the other X-Men… we’re seeing Knives Out… Ororo said it’d be a good idea for me to get out of the mansion.”

Hank blinked and then frowned in thought. “Yeah, she’s right. However, you seem to be doing really well, considering the situation. You haven’t spent all your time down here, but you do visit. You haven’t acted out with a huge wave of impulse emotions, but getting out for a little bit would be great for you.”

Warren bit his tongue, holding back from telling Hank the truth about how he was doing. “Yeah… I’ll um, see you later.”

Warren zoned out in the middle of the movie for a few minutes and had to ask Kurt what happened.

“Police chased them down.”

“Ah, okay.” Warren nodded. He glanced at his other friends. Scott had an arm around Jean, and they were cuddling, practically on top of each other, in the big recliners. Jubilee bought sour patch kids and was sharing the bag with Ororo. Peter and Kurt were really engrossed in the movie, and Warren was just kind of there…

He was lonely— The movie was good, and he was enjoying it— but Warren as a whole was lonely.

He put up the hard “I don’t need anybody,” exterior to protect himself from hurt. His poor relationship with his parents caused him to be cautious and made it hard for him to develop a steady healthy relationship with any authority figures in his life. His cage fighting days taught him, he was alone, and nobody was ever going to love him, and he’d have to fight to get anywhere in life.

Obviously, that proved to be false— he found confinement in Alex, (and sometimes Hank), as the older brother he never had. The community in the mansion proved he didn’t have to be so alone, and (Y/N) made him realize love is not some made-up fantasy, concocted in Disney’s headquarters.

(Y/N) felt like his best friend on most occasions, and while he had all his other friends, her being gone made him feel so empty inside.

On Christmas Eve he moped around in Scott and Peter’s room, one earbud in listening to sad music.

Scott wasn’t even there— he was doing God knows what with Jean, and Peter was playing Pac-Man.

“You can hang out with me tomorrow if you want. I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“I’m good.” Warren knew Peter would probably run home and mess around with his sisters and mom, or awkwardly hang around the mansion, trying to find Erik and tell him about their relationship.

“Dude,” He awkwardly chuckled. “Okay, look— um, I know, nothing I say can fix the situation, but if you want to talk I’m here.”

Warren paused his music. “What was the last thing she said?”

Peter was awestruck, “She’s not dead!”

“I know—“

“She’s in a coma that she’s going to wake up from! She didn’t die.”

“I know that! I just want to know what she said before she went into the coma…”

Peter felt guilty for jumping to conclusions. Warren seemed so defeated, like a kicked puppy. “We were watching a crappy zombie movie on tv… and it was like, really bad, and we were mostly complaining about how bad it was. The last thing I remember was she said something about how the prosthetics sucked and she could have done it better with some mint leaves and slime.”

The corner of Warren’s lip rose up slightly. Typical (Y/N), but she was probably right.

“Wanna play Pac-Man with me?”

Warren sat up, “Sure.”

“He just started crying, like— I’ve never seen anyone so upset, and I thought you were dead at one point!” Scott was frazzled in Hank’s lab with Alex, Jubilee, Jean, Ororo, and Kurt.

“He seemed fine when he came down to visit her the other day.” Scott gave Hank a disbelieving look. “Well if he’s crying over little things, obviously he’s extremely stressed out and I’m not going to push him.”

Scott glanced in the direction of (Y/N)’s area in the lab, “Maybe we should wake her up.”

“Are you crazy?!” Jubilee asked. “She could die from that—“

“She probably won’t though… (Y/N) being unconscious has made Warren, everyone on edge.”

“You want an easy way out of this,” Jubilee raised her voice as she kept speaking, “If you really cared about how Warren was, you’d be trying to comfort him best you can despite your half-assed friendship!”

“It’s our fault she’s like this, Jubes! We were supposed to make sure she didn’t fall asleep anywhere besides her room, and we couldn’t do it.”

“Scott, she was getting weaker every day, this would have happened no matter what—“

His voice got louder, yet he was practically shaking, “No, we had the most simple task in the world! And we couldn’t do it! We’re the X-Men and we couldn’t even keep a girl from falling asleep!”

Jean hugged Scott, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s not your fault. She does this every year— and it’s not like you ignored her.”

“What if it was you instead? I’d be just like Warren…”

“Don’t say that—” She kissed the top of his head. “You’d be fine.”

“I think we should discuss this with Warren and the Professor before we do anything, drastic.” Hank’s final words were clearly aimed at Scott.

“We can wake her up…”

Everyone was still in the lab, but this time Warren and Professor Xavier were present. Warren didn’t move, he was focused on what Hank was telling him and what it actually meant.

“But… she could die if not done correctly. Waking up an animal early out of hibernation could kill it, but getting a plant out of its dormant season would just weaken it, if done too quickly though, it could kill the plant.”

“Hank,” Charles rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I thought we agreed, when (Y/N) goes dormant, we do not disturb her. We agreed with her parents several years ago.”

“Yeah, but that was when she was a kid. She’s older now, and everyone’s distraught. Her boyfriend—“

“Oh, please,” Charles scoffed. “If I got on my knees and tried to align the stars every time Erik got hurt, there wouldn’t even be a school.”

“Cut the crap. You and Erik fight and make up like some divorced couple in a soap opera. When Erik gets hurt, you’re always the first to know.”

Xavier didn’t say anything out loud, he just glared.

“Um, personally, uh, sorry,” Warren awkwardly cut in. “I think if (Y/N) might die if we wake her up, then it’s not worth it. And if her parents agreed, letting her sleep is the best thing, then it probably is.”

Warren didn’t even want to think about her folks. Could you imagine? Their daughter dies because some dumb goth boy couldn’t handle her taking a three-month-long nap without him. Yeah, that’d impress them.

Charles clapped his hands together, “Well, there! It’s settled then. (Y/N) is fine as she is. I know this is upsetting for her to not be present around the holidays, but we can all assume she would want us to have fun and be kind to others, showing compassion and always helping those in need.”

Warren couldn’t sleep. He was restless in bed— too hot, then too cold, he’d have the beginnings of a nightmare or no dream at all— he was sure Kurt would have kicked him out by now if he hadn’t made the decision to sleep in Peter and Scott’s room for the night.

His tossing and turning made him have to pee. He got up and went over to the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror as he dried his hands he sighed. Warren looked so tired, but he didn’t know what to do.

For the first time since Germany, he truly felt alone.

He grabbed the two gifts stored under his bed and he quietly walked down the halls.

None of the doors were locked, it was almost too easy for him to get into Hank’s lab.

He flicked on the light switch, even though he didn’t need to. Her sleeping figure made his heart almost burst out of his chest. Warren felt so awkward standing there.

He set the gifts down on a chair and walked over to (Y/N).

“Hi…” No response. “Um, I don’t know if you can hear me… but like, Jubilee and Kurt watch all those soaps and they always have characters talking to people in comas so I figured, maybe, just maybe, you could hear something… anyway, um… I miss you. I really miss you and I wish you’d said something about all this…” He sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, with homework and chores and training. It’s been driving Kurt crazy that I’m up all the time, but I can’t sleep most nights…”

He paused for a moment, for the thought of, Am I crazy? Flashed through his brain.

“I got you that fancy water filtered you wanted for Christmas… along with some mollisol soil in a jar…” He huffed in amusement while glancing at the gifts. “Peter made fun of me. He said, “No girl wants a jar of dirt for Christmas.” But I know you’d be happy with it— trying to divide it equally among every plant in your room, your eyes lighting up when you see improvements in them…” Warren looked at (Y/N) and smiled sadly.

“We haven’t even been dating for a whole year, but it feels like it’s been forever…” His eyes watered and his voice faltered, “And that’s love… Isn’t it?... Everyone tells me something different, but— I think I love you. No— I know I love you. I love you and, and, I don’t know… I don’t know what I’ll do while you’re here. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and see everyone all happy like nothing’s wrong— or Scott kissing Jean when he thinks no one’s looking if I can’t put my arm around you and pull you closer and give him a look that states we’re a cuter couple…” Warren almost laughed at himself. His dumb competition with Scott.

“I know you’d want me to pretend like nothing’s wrong because it isn’t— but it is… I don’t know what to do…”

Kurt knocked on the door of his room the next morning. “Warren! Merry Christmas!” No response.

“I need to brush my teeth.” Still no answer.

Kurt opened the door himself, “Warren?” The room was empty. “Where are you?”

“Hey, Kurt,” Scott peaked in, still in pajamas. “Everything alright?”

“Warren’s gone.”

“He’s probably downstairs already. Peter and Jubilee are, I bet he’s with them.”

“Oh. You’re probably right.” Scott bid him goodbye and went to Jean’s room. Kurt still couldn’t get the feeling that Scott was wrong out of his system.

Hank and Alex were headed down to the lab, giggling and acting like kids sneaking around.

“Alex,” Hank breathed in between laughs, “I just wanna check on (Y/N).”

“I know,” He managed between the kisses he left all over Hank’s neck.

“Give me five minutes. Then we can join the others.”

Alex frowned as Hank opened the door. “I want to be alone with you.”

“Wasn’t this morning enough?” Hank joked.

Alex rolled his eyes and hugged Hank from behind.

Hank smiles and walked into the med Bay Area, where (Y/N) was put.

He was shocked, to say the least. Alex too.

“Did he wake her?” Alex whispered.

“I don’t think so. Her heart rate hasn’t changed.”

Alex gently shook Warren’s shoulder, “Hey, kid, time to get up.”

He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, squinting to adjust to the light. “Mmmmhmmmggg…”

“Merry Christmas.” Hank teased as he looked over (Y/N)’s vitals.

“Shit.” Warren rubbed his eyes, “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah.”

“When did you come down here? I went upstairs at around eleven.” Hank commented.

“You got into our room at 11:37 PM.” Alex corrected him.

“Uhh, I don’t remember…” Warren was too tired to think. He wanted to get something to eat and go back to bed. He didn’t want to see everyone messing around the tree Charles got the younger students to set up. He wanted to go back to sleep right in bed with (Y/N), but he knew Hank wouldn’t let him.

“Everyone’s upstairs,” Hank said.

“I know,” Warren said back.

Alex was preoccupied with his phone. Scott kept texting him where he was— for being the younger brother, he acted like an older one.

“Look, uh, I don’t want to overstep anything—” Hank said somewhat quietly to Warren. “I know we’re not that close, but—“

Warren shot him down, “I don’t need to talk to anyone. But thanks for the offer, Hank.”

Hank pushes his glasses up his nose, “No, it’s not that… When Alex was presumed dead, and we found his body and he was in a coma… I was an emotional wreck. I spent all my time down here, worried he’d wake up any second, or never wake up, or wake up and not remember who I am… We weren’t even dating at the time. I was just so heartbroken because I wasted literal decades avoiding him and my feelings and— sorry. Sorry. I got off track… the point is, I get it. I’m not going to judge you for coming down at night to sleep with her.”

“Just, just don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

Hank nodded understandingly.

“Whatcha guys talking about?” Alex got up and wrapped an arm around Hank.

“How much I love you,” Hank stated matter of factly.

Alex chuckled and kissed Hank’s cheek. “Don’t bother him with that. I’m sure Warren doesn’t want to hear you talk about our relationship.”

“I don’t care,” Warren told him.

“Still— go upstairs. Scott and Kurt think you got kidnapped or something.”

“Alright, alright,” Warren had to laugh, “I will.”

“We’ll meet you up there.”

Neither of the older men spoke until the door shut.

“He loves her.”

“Hmm?” Alex looked at Hank curiously.

“Warren, he loves (Y/N).” Alex hummed in agreement.

“They’re good for each other.”

Warren walked into the common room while chaos was in full motion.

Kurt was teleporting from place to place in the room, Ororo was focusing on making it snow outside, surprisingly, Peter was asleep on the couch, and Jean and Scott were cuddled under a blanket by the fireplace, obviously feeling each other up.

“Warren!” Kurt jumped down and landed at his feet. “Where have you been?”

He shrugged, “Workout.”

“Okay…” Kurt wasn’t convinced, but

“Hey, Warren! I made these brownies, they’re really good—“ She handed him one. “Here!”

“Uh, thanks.” He took a bite out of it. Gooey. Rich chocolate flavor. Yet, it also crumbled. Not half bad.

Warren smiled and nodded, telling Jubilee it was delicious. She was thrilled.

After a round of greetings to everyone, Warren sat on the couch next to Peter. “There’s a present for you…” He murmured, half asleep.

Warren furrowed his brows and looked at the tree. There was one gift left. The wrapping paper was black, with two silver bows on it. Warren smiled sadly at it, as he held it in his arms.

“Aww… It’s you!” Peter teased. Warren laughed a little, before opening it.

It was a box. Obviously, not empty. Warren removed the lid and looked through it. Inside was a disposable camera, an empty photo book, and a letter. He grabbed the letter first and read it.

Warren,

If you’re reading this, I’m either dormant or will be soon. I didn’t tell you anything about it because I’m scared. I’m scared you’d want to break up because I’m not conscious for part of the year. To most people, I’m sure it’d be a major turn off. But as Jubilee sometimes puts it, you’re ‘a little too attached’ to me to break up with me over a long nap. :) Or at least I hope so.

Anyway, I don’t want you moping over me the whole time, because you’ll just be sad and closed off and lose a lot of progress in your mental health. And I worry about you. I’ll be worrying about you quite a bit while I’m hibernating.

Uh, I can also hear everything you say to me. In case you wanna chat. I can’t say anything back, but it’s nice to listen.

I got you the camera and photobook to give you something to do. When I wake up you can catch me up on everything I missed. Take some pictures, save some memes for me, make a playlist of songs you think I’d like, movies I need to watch— Jubilee did it my first year here, and I liked it. I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time sleeping… I sometimes feel that way— I could do schoolwork, or spend time with my plants that still trudge through winter, or hang out with my friends… don’t feel sad, this is a normal bodily function… for me… You’re gonna think it sucks, which is kind of does, but I’ll try to make up for lost time… I love you…

(Y/N)

Warren couldn’t read the last few words, they’d been scratched out. He rubbed his eye, trying not to cry.

“What’d you get?” Peter asked.

“Uh, camera… So (Y/N)’s got photos for when she wakes up…”

“Aww…” Peter cooed. “That’s so cute— Hey guys! Let’s get a group photo!”

“Peter, I don’t— I don’t think that’s necessary—”

“Too bad!” Peter snatched the camera from Warren’s hands and started motioning and yelling at people to get in the frame. “I used to use these all the time as a kid— these little disposable cameras. I loved them!” Peter pressed the button, and a light flashed for a moment. He turned the dial on it and then handed it back to Warren. “You know how to use these, right?”

“Uh…”

“Great! You’ve totally got this.”

Peter was gone in a flash, leaving Warren alone.

He huffed, what was he really going to do with a camera? He didn’t want to bring his girlfriend up to speed with pop culture and all the drama she missed. He wanted to live through it all with her.

But he couldn’t…

Warren went back downstairs to the lab. Nobody stopped him from leaving or even asked where he was going. It was like he had no value in the group without (Y/N), just someone they tolerated, if that even.

He wanted to scream, knowing she could hear, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t find his voice… no words came out… just tears…

He fell down to the floor and cried. That’s all he could do.

You’re so weak! Pathetic! You can’t spend a moment away from her and you cry like a fucking baby! You don’t deserve her…

His sobs were the only things you could hear in the room.

New Year’s came and gone. The X-Men threw a party. Warren took a photo since he knew (Y/N) would have wanted to be there.

He didn’t want to be there. Soon as he took his photo he wanted to leave. He never liked parties, not as a kid, not in Berlin, and not when he came to the mansion— until he started dating (Y/N).

She got invited to several parties. Some were just dorm get-togethers with different groups of kids, others were house parties from the kids at the public school down the road, some were like this… real parties. She always wanted Warren with her when she went, and he never said no. He didn’t always enjoy them, but he didn’t mind. If (Y/N) had a good time, so did he.

But here Warren was, moping in the corner of Xavier’s ballroom.

He didn’t leave his room on Valentine’s day, despite still having classes. He trained for three hours a day, not including the group workouts and training required for all members of the X-Men.

He volunteered to go on more missions. He didn’t want to be stuck in the mansion for more than two days at a time. No one objected, he was a valuable member of the team, and the more experience the better he would get.

He was to go to London for three weeks with Ororo, Hank, Jean, and Scott.

Jean and Scott were excited because this just meant they’d somehow end up in a hotel room alone together at night, while everyone else was sleeping.

Warren was not too thrilled, as he was jealous. No need to sugarcoat it. Warren was jealous that Scott got Jean all 365 days of the year, that he never had to be away from her for more than a week, that they could flaunt their relationship and how happy they were together.

It made his stomach churn, but there was nothing he could do.

“I’m going to London for a few days… If I meet Harry Styles I’ll tell him you’re a fan…” (Y/N) laid in bed, lifeless. Warren tucked his hair behind his ears, making a note to get a haircut soon. “I’m going with Scott, Jean, and Ororo…”

He hated this. He hated talking to her, knowing she could hear him but not say anything back. It was different the few days before Christmas, but now it was all just a mess.

“Bye.” He threw his duffle bag over his shoulder and walked out.

One week.

One week with no cell phones, no homework, nothing. Sure, Warren would probably have to punch a few bad guys, but other than that he just wanted to sleep. He didn’t really care for much anymore. He tried his best to stay engaged and involved, keep himself busy, but it was extremely challenging.

A five-hour flight, with nothing to do.

“You guys excited?” Hank asked.

“Yeah!”

“Definitely.”

“I’m hoping I can use some new moves Mystquie’s been teaching me.”

“Mhmm…” Warren mumbled.

Hank glanced at him. He looked depressing.

“We’re in London for a week, I bet we’ll have some time to do sightseeing or go out.”

“Ooo!” Jean nudged Scott. “That’ll be fun, right babe?”

He nodded, “Oh yeah.”

Warren brought Peter’s walkman with him, and put in his earbuds and closed his eyes, assumingly taking a nap.

Once they arrived and checked into their rooms, Warren was still tired. He wanted to take another nap.

“So, I think we should go out tonight—” Hank handed everyone their room keys, “—You guys have been working really hard, and not much praise is given by Alex or Raven, or Erik when he occasionally shows up… but we’re proud of you.”

“Aww…” “Thanks, Hank…”

Warren just offered a smile.

“We can unpack and get changed if you guys want, we can go out and get some dinner?”

Everyone thought Hank’s plan was good, and they separated into their rooms.

“You doing okay?” Scott asked while unpacking his bag.

“Yeah… Why?”

“You didn’t say anything the whole ride here.”

“I took a nap,” Warren unzipped his bag.

“Oh.”

“I’m not going to unexpectedly burst into tears.” Warren snapped.

“I didn’t say you were—”

“Everyone thinks I am, I’m not stupid. I know you think I’m emotionally unstable and Hank’s been acting all nice on this mission because of it.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

Scott sat down on his bed, “Are you emotionally unstable?”

Warren glared at him, “I’ve been working my ass off for this mission. I’ve trained longer and harder than anybody else. Do I look unstable to you?”

“No! I just thought—”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m gonna shower and get dressed for dinner.” He walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Hank had asked the woman at the front desk a good place to eat. She recommended some local place down the road. He rounded up the kids, despite there only being four of them.

“A night out will do us good.”

“You’ve been saying that,” Warren mumbled.

“You didn’t have to come you know,” Ororo stated.

“I have nothing better to do with my time.”

Ororo kept her mouth shut, knowing she could have said something back, but knowing Warren, it was better not to.

The restaurant was pretty crowded, despite it being the middle of the week, but the group still managed to get a table.

Their server was friendly. They got drinks. They ordered their food.

“You okay, Warren?” Hank noticed he hardly touched his food.

“Mhmm… Just not that hungry. I’ll probably get a box.”

“Oh, okay,” Hank nodded, a little unsure.

They left the restaurant and went back to the hotel. Warren took his shirt off and laid on his bed.

“I’m gonna hang out with Jean… You gonna be okay?”

Warren let out a breathy laugh, “Yeah, yeah. Go have fun, Cyclops… I’m going to bed.”

Warren couldn’t sleep. He didn’t really want to. He turned on the tv, trying to find something to watch.

Someone knocked on the door while he was in the middle of some cooking show. Warren got up and opened his door. “Hey, Ro.”

“Hey, Jean kicked me out. Wanna go for a swim in the pool?”

“Sure.”

He quickly got changed and followed Ororo downstairs.

The got into the elevator and were quiet at first.

“I think they have a hot tub.”

“Cool.”

Ororo glanced at Warren and sighed. “I’m here for you if you want to talk.”

He nodded, “I know.”

“For real. You’re allowed to talk about your feelings.”

“I don’t want to.”

Ororo sighed, “Warren…”

He looked back at her. “I want this all to be over.”

“(Y/N)—”

“It’s not fair! Everyone in my life has left me or used me somehow— and I know she’s different, but it’s not fair! I was so happy with her and—”

The elevator stopped. It wasn’t their floor. The doors opened the reveal a young woman. She had a familiar glow to her and leaves in her hair.

Warren looked at her, feeling lightheaded at seeing her.

“(Y/N)?”

Warren woke up in his hotel bed. He wasn’t sure how he got there. He didn’t even remember going to the pool with Ororo. All he could remember was her.

(Y/N).

He looked over to his left and saw Scott peacefully asleep in his bed, sleep mask on and everything. The TV was off, and so were all the lights. Warren couldn’t go back to bed, it wasn’t an option.

He quietly got out of bed and slipped on his shoes, slowly opening the door, as to not wake Scott.

He went out to the halls. He had no plan, no idea where he was going, but he needed to get out.

He walked around, lost in the halls late at night. He wasn’t tired, but he was upset. He didn’t want to keep crying, he didn’t want to be so dependent on (Y/N), but without her—

The sound of thunder interrupted his thoughts. He looked outside and saw it was raining. It reminded him of (Y/N)— without her, all it did was rain and snow.

Hank said they were looking for someone. Someone Xaiver wanted to bring back to the mansion. This type of mission was more stealth and would require little physical fighting.

Hank got told from an anonymous source she’d be at some socialite gathering.

“Scott, Jean, you’re going to pretend to be some young, rich, American couple. Get in there, find our target, and get her alone. Convince her to come back with us if that doesn’t work let us know on the comms.”

“What does she look like?”

“Her name is Betsy Braddock—” Hank pulled up a file with all her information on his tablet.

“What does Xavier want with her?” Warren asked, anger rising in his tone.

Betsy… She left him to die in Egypt. She got him wrapped up in the Apocalypse cult nonsense. He didn’t want to see her again, he didn’t want to see her ever.

“She knows something about the attacks in Italy we dealt with around Christmas, plus she’s somewhat telepathic… I know your past with her is messy, but—”

“It’s fine. I don’t care.” Everyone looked at Warren, surprised at his statement.

“Alright. You guys know what to do— Jean, Scott, get dressed and ready for the party. I’ll get you an uber— Ororo, Warren, You guys are going to a hideout location not far from the location of the party, in case backup is needed. I’m going to stay and operate things here.

The first few hours of the mission went as expected. Jean and Scott made small talk with people, trying to find Betsy.

Warren didn’t want to see her, or more, he didn’t want her to see him in his current emotional state. But it didn’t matter what he wanted. He argued and insisted on joining this mission, and now he could see why Xavier was hesitant to let him go.

“I see her,” Jean said. “She’s not with anyone.”

Jean’s earpiece was quiet after that.

Warren and Ororo sat there for what felt like forever. Jean and Scott talked occasionally, but it was never directly to them.

The young couple eventually lured Betsy into an empty room.

“You didn’t really bring me up here to sleep with me, did you?” She asked, messing with her hair in the slight reflection from a window.

Jean shook her head, “No. But we want you to come back with us… You’ve heard of Charles Xavier…”

Betsy nodded.

“He wants you to help him with the attacks on the mutant community in southern Italy.”

“What will he give me in return?” Scott and Jean exchanged a quick glance. They weren’t exactly sure.

Scott’s voice faltered slightly, “You can…”

Jean finished his sentence. “—You can discuss that with him when we get to New York.”

Betsy turned her head to look at them, “And what if I say no?”

“We’ll chase you down until you do,” Scott stated with more confidence than before.

“Alright. I’ll go with you.”

Betsy had no idea Warren was in London, or even alive for that matter. Warren had no idea how she was going to react, and he didn’t really want to find out.

But he didn’t really have an option.

“Give us time to pack up and we can leave for Westchester,” Jean explained in the ride back to the hotel.

“Who else is with you?”

“Dr. McCoy is back at the hotel, and Ororo and Warren should be there too.” Betsy’s expression changed. “You probably know them as—”

“I know exactly who they are. I thought Warren died…”

Scott shook his head, “Nope. He’s doing great.” Scott blinked away the uncertainty hidden behind his words.

Betsy nodded, unsure what to say. She thought about maybe jumping out of the car, and never seeing these people again. She knew Warren would be angry when he saw her. She couldn’t blame him.

“He’s not upset with you…” Betsy looked at Jean, a bit shocked. “He’s hurting from something else… Don’t ask about it… just trust me...”

“Easy for you to say.” Betsy scoffed.

Jean shook her head, “You’ll see…”

“We’re here.” The driver stopped the car and the three got out.

Betsy looked up at the hotel the group was staying at, “Nice place.”

They walked in and headed to the nearest elevator. Jean was fidgeting with the comm in her ear.

“We got back about twenty minutes ago,” Ororo said.

“We’re on our way to our rooms,” Jean replied.

The elevator dinged, signaling it was at the destined floor.

They packed up quickly, and stood out in the hall, bags in hand.

Hank introduced himself to Betsy. Her response was short, she was preoccupied with her ex-boyfriend standing less than five feet away from her.

“Hi.”

He looked sad and more tired than usual. Seeing him sober was mind-blowing to Betsy, but people change. She hadn’t seen him in a few years— sure they saw each other during the Apocalypse incident, but that was a few days— she was really going to see him this time.

He didn’t respond to her. She frowned.

The plane ride was long and tedious. Betsy had nothing to do and wanted nothing more than to leave. So, she decided to try and talk to Warren again.

“Hey.” He turned his head around best he could and looked at Betsy questioningly. She nodded. “What’s up?”

“Not much.” Warren wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk.

“Cool… Cool…”

There was a pause before Warren spoke up, “Do you need anything?”

“Just wanted to talk…”

“You have other options.”

Betsy rolled her eyes.

“I don’t really wanna talk to you right now… And I don’t need you poking around in my head either.”

“I wasn’t going to,” She said calmly.

Warren didn’t respond. Betsy sighed, he was useless. Warren wasn’t going to talk even if she forced him. And she couldn’t really blame him, but she had a lingering feeling in her stomach.

Probably just my dinner digesting…

At some point, Betsy fell asleep, for when the plane landed Hank had to wake her up. She rubbed her eyes and undid her seatbelt.

“Do we have to go through security again?” Scott asked.

“Yeah, we left the country,” Hank told him while glancing at his watch.

Scott was not too thrilled. Everyone was tired to some degree. It was extremely late, and they went back a few hours due to the time zone.

“It won’t be that long. There’s hardly anyone here.”

Everyone went through security and headed to the baggage claim to get their stuff.

Jean was the first to get her suitcase— a medium-sized, teal one— Warren was next, and his was all black, to no one’s surprise, but the nametag on it looked drastic tied to the handle.

It was clear, with glitter and flowers trapped inside it. It didn’t seem like Warren at all to Betsy, but what did she know?

Hank took Betsy to an empty room and told her she could sleep there for the time being. She set her bags on the floor and looked around. There was a dated-looking wallpaper upon the walls, and the bed took up a little under half of the room.

It was alright.

Betsy rummaged through her bag for some pajamas when she heard footsteps.

Hank had left almost immediately after he showed her the room, so it couldn’t be him. She opened the door only to see Warren walking down the hall. She quietly followed him, staying several steps behind.

He went down to the main floor, and even further down into the basement.

This place is huge! Betsy said to herself.

The basement looked different from the rest of the mansion, for the walls and floor were made of metal.

Warren turned right, into a room within the basement. Betsy held her breath as she got closer.

What is he doing down here?

Betsy caught sight of a girl laying in a hospital bed. Warren sat down next to her and started talking…

That’s why he’s on edge… Betsy had accidentally bumped into something, making a loud noise.

Warren shot up, “Who’s there?”

Betsy tried to sneak out, but Warren caught her.

“Betsy!”

She froze.

“Why were you following me?”

“Why are you visiting a coma patient at three in the morning?” She asked back.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

“I mean I figured as much—”

“So leave.” He cut her off and was sharp. “Please…” He pleaded more in his last word.

She looked at her unconscious figure, “I could help…”

“No,” He was stern.

“I could—” “—You’d kill her.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” She defended.

“Yeah, you would. Her mutation makes her basically hibernate until March, so she’s fine.”

“I could still help— I’ve helped you before…”

“No, you didn’t! You were constantly going in and out of my life whenever it was convenient for you and came back when I didn’t need you too! You— you ruined my life!”

Betsy felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

“Look…” Warren sighed. “Betsy… I’m sorry. I don’t want your help… I don’t want you to hurt her.”

Betsy nodded, she knew Warren wasn’t going to change his mind.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“I won’t help you.” She left the medical room, leaving Warren alone with his thoughts.

Over the next few days, Betsy accommodated herself to the mansion, giving Xavier the information he wanted, and exploring the grounds.

She was almost always accompanied by Jubilee, per some people’s request, seeing as her past wasn’t spotless.

Jubilee was full of energy, and always willing to tell Betsy whatever she asked about.

“Who’s Warren’s girlfriend?”

“Her name is (Y/N). She controls plants. She can also grow them from her body. And her eyes change color based on her mood… She’s uh, she’s not around at the moment, but that’s not important.”

Betsy nodded along as Jubilee spoke. “Is he happy?”

“Do you miss him?”

Betsy struggled to let out a straight answer, “No— ugh— I just— I ruined his life.”

“You didn’t ruin his life!” Betsy glared at her. “Okay, okay, maybe you kind of did ruin his life, but he’s fine now. He’s just a little on edge you’re here and (Y/N) isn’t.”

“I don’t need to stay here—”

“Bullshit!” Jubilee exclaimed. “You’ve got nowhere else to go, really.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

Betsy was rarely ever alone. She was too busy helping the X-Men.

She had a few moments to herself though. She was never sure what to do. She couldn’t just up and leave and go out to some bar and sulk in a corner and come back drunk and angry— that’d paint her as extremely irresponsible. She didn’t want to bore or impose on the X-Men if she didn’t have to.

She wandered around the mansion. It was massive and somewhat old and stuffy looking, but also gave off those classic school vibes.

Betsy wandered into the basement at some point and quickly learned, that was where the X-Men trained, made battle and mission plans, stored their jet, Hank worked on costumes and more in his lab, and where their medical bay was kept.

She knew she shouldn’t be down there alone. Betsy wasn’t going to do anything bad, but it felt wrong.

She was watching a girl in a coma sleep. There were so many things wrong about that.

Of course, no one would really care, except for maybe Warren— but he had every good reason to.

“You keep visiting me.”

Betsy almost jumped. The voice had startled her. She thought she was alone.

“Jean?” But didn’t sound like Jean. Betsy couldn’t decipher who it was.

She sat there for another thirty minutes, hoping the voice would return, but it didn’t.

So she got up and left.

It was probably just a student. My telepathic abilities aren’t the strongest. It was probably just a student somewhere on the grounds…

She didn’t tell anyone about the voice. She didn’t want to seem crazy, because it probably didn’t mean anything.

“Hey, guys! I found this on my google drive! It’s a bunch of videos from Xavier’s fourth of July party!” Peter had his laptop open at a table, with a few papers spread about.

Everyone, including Betsy, gathered around Peter as he played a few video clips.

It was Warren, Peter, Scott, and (Y/N) all together in the first one. They were walking in a parking lot with shopping bags in their hands.

“We just spent—” Peter cut Warren off.

“We just spent $2,000 on fireworks! Holy fuck!” Everyone else is laughing at his enthusiasm.

“Can’t Jubilee just produce fireworks? Why did we need this many anyway?”

“It’s for the American aesthetic, (Y/N)!”

They got into the car and Peter was still recording.

“Weren’t you born in Poland or something?”

“America was founded on immigration—”

The clip was cut off, and the next one played automatically. But Betsy remembered the voice. The female one. It was like the one she heard in the basement… was (Y/N) trying to contact her?

She tried to focus as the next few clips played, she needed to hear (Y/N)’s voice again.

“Kurt, look—” Peter was still recording with his smartphone, he had zoomed in on a darker part of Xavier’s. It was a tree, and two people were leaning up against it— clearly making out.

“Jean told me she went to get more popsicles!” Kurt whined.

Everyone watching was laughing, except for Scott and Jean, who were extremely embarrassed they got caught.

“You ain’t slick, Summers.”

“Shut up.”

Footsteps could be heard. “What are we doing?” (Y/N) asked.

“Look—” Kurt motioned to the couple at the tree.

“Oh, gross. They don’t even know we’re watching! And to think… Warren went inside to see what Jean was doing…”

“Well, he won’t find out,” Kurt joked.

Betsy knew she heard (Y/N) voice in the basement… but why? Was she a ghost? Did her unconscious state allow her to communicate telepathically?

She needed to go back there, alone, but she knew that was almost impossible. Hank was almost always down in the lab, and Warren was almost always visiting (Y/N).

That didn’t really matter to her. Betsy needed to talk to her or hear her voice again. She thought about asking Jean, but she thought that would be fruitless.

She went to visit (Y/N) again, but this time she spoke to her.

“Can you hear me?”

No response.

“My name is Betsy Braddock. I know who you are and I’m not going to hurt you.”

Betsy huffed, “This is stupid!” She got up and began to walk out.

“Wait!” Betsy froze. (Y/N) said something. “You keep visiting me…”

“I’m just curious about you,” Betsy responded.

“Why?”

“I don’t know I—”

“Betsy?” Warren’s voice was stern and almost angry. “What are you doing here?”

“I can hear her. Like, with my abilities… I know you didn’t really want me down here and I understand—”

“Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if I could communicate with her telepathically…” She admitted. “That’s all. I’m not trying to wake her or anything.”

“I’m sorry… but I can hear people and it’s nice to have someone who can hear me back…”

Betsy, plagued with guilt, looked over at (Y/N), whos lifeless form hadn’t changed a bit, despite the obvious sadness in her words.

“I just feel, so bad and I don’t know why and… I ruined your life. There’s no shortcut, without me you would have left the fighting ring in less than three weeks… You’d have your feathery wings still… but I loved you and I couldn’t let go, and I thought bringing Apocalypse to you would make up for all the shit I did…”

“I was a kid. I didn’t even know what love meant! And I’m not avoiding you on purpose, I don’t resent you as much as I did when I first came here… but I don’t know what you want, okay? Our lives aren’t connected anymore, and I just want (Y/N) back...” Warren was biting down on his lip to keep himself from breaking down crying.

“Tell him I’m sorry.”

“(Y/N) said she’s sorry…”

Warren’s gaze shifted between the two girls.

“Why is she sorry?”

“All I’ve done since Christmas is make him unhappy and upset. He deserves someone who isn’t asleep for part of the year.”

“She said, you deserve someone who isn’t asleep for part of the year.”

Warren walked over to (Y/N)’s body, he held her hand in his. “It’s not about what I may or may not deserve. It’s about what I want and love.”

“I love him…”

Betsy was about to repeat what she said, but Warren was crying. He had let a single tear drip down.

It landed on (Y/N)’s hand. And soon as it did, her eyes flew open.

She was gasping for air, eyes squinting up at the fluorescent lights. (Y/N) heard voices.

“She’s awake…”

“It’s almost March, that might be too early—“

“—I’ll be fine,” (Y/N) interrupted. She rubbed her eyes and turned her eyes away from the lights, looking over at Warren, who was at her side, tears in his eyes.

“Betsy, go get Hank.” He instructed. Warren looked back at (Y/N), holding her hand in his, and his other cupping her cheek.

“Hi.” She murmured in a groggy tone.

“Hi.” He kissed her forehead. “I missed you.”

“I know… I’m sorry…”

“Sorry?” Warren was perplexed. “What for?”

“I couldn’t stay awake, and I hurt you, Warren. I made you cry and think you weren’t good enough for me…” She snuffled her nose.

“That’s bullshit. You could never hurt me. I was crying because I couldn’t do anything. The last time I saw you was before I went to Italy on some dumb mission— I missed you… I missed your smile, I missed how you’d make flower crowns and put them on my head, how I could go to you after a nightmare no matter what time of night it was, or how you told me I helped you become more assertive and learn it’s okay to say no, or you showing me the beauty in everything— I…” His voice was breaking, but all (Y/N) could see in his eyes was happiness. “I can’t live without you… I love you.”

“Oh, Warren, baby…” She squeezed his hand.

Warren cupped her face with his free hand and kissed her.

That one kiss said everything he wanted to say. It let out his feelings. It had passion and swiftness backing it up, followed by his undying love for (Y/N).

She kissed him back, trying to make up for the time they’ve lost. Her lips fit prefectures against his.

It was like the first time they kissed, full of everything she wanted, except much longer, with more meaning to it.

They broke apart slowly, almost as if they didn’t want to.

“I love you too…” She murmured.

#warren worthington iii x reader #x-men x reader #warren worthington x reader #warren x reader #warren worthington iii #warren worthington #angel x reader #archangel #archangel x reader #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy #x-men spinoff #ben jones #angel #ben jones x reader

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timextoxhajima · 4 years

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Member: ddeonghwa! :D (but not after the inception preview he’s not anymore >:( hmph i feel attacc’ed)

Genre: BIG FAT FLUFFS just ‘cause, maybe a little bit of 1950s vibes idk i’ll try lol, duchess you with villager seonghwa? maybe not...? ;)

Word Count: 4.9k

A/N: I love Cinderella so it’s safe to say that i’m going to draw a whole lot of inspiration from the movie. i may or may not sob while writing this.

“Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away”

you don’t bother too much about the long, silky white gown you were supposed to be going to sleep in. it was crumpled into a ball, sitting at the edge of your bed. you knew if you asked a servant to help you get fitted, they’d probably run off to tell your father, the Duke of the Land your ancestors have been living on for generations.

you look at yourself in the large mirror of your chamber, everything in the space either gold, white or cream in color, and it sickened you.

what brought you comfort was the brown leather that you had around your feet and calves, and the black horse-riding jacket that hugged you around your torso.

it was the last night of your freedom before you were to be randomly married off to a prince from a faraway land, a prince from a kingdom who has promised yours gold, land, food and shelter.

it was too good of a deal for your parents to turn down.

you push open your balcony doors and walked out into the platform, looking past the bushes and looking at the stable in the far right behind the castle. this isn’t the first time you sneaked out of the castle, so it wasn’t difficult to get your feet over the arm rests of the balcony and onto the bricks that made up the place that you’ve called home for all your life.

you knew which bricks had roughed over edges and sides that stuck out for you to climb down. you don’t break a single drop of sweat by the time your feet reached the ground.

you were finally on Night, your horse. his coat was dark as its name.

the scent of the barn filled your nostrils, and you could only wonder what it would be like if you had a say in your future. if only you could tell your father how much you loved being in the barn, even if it meant cleaning after the animals.

the guards were easy to get past alone, but now that you were on an arabian black horse standing proudly at nearly 1.8m in the air, it was impossible to get past them without being noticed.

despite having an old, black coat covering your body, the only person who would ride Night was you, so it was easy to identify who was riding the most expensive horse out of the barn.

“wha-- m’lady!” the guards at the barn’s post had their hands outstretched, already beginning to run after you when the horse picked up its pace.

“don’t tell my father,” you pull on the reigns, slowing down only to look pitifully at them. “please. it’s my last night before my wedding and coronation.”

one guard was a man easily older than your father, and the other was his son. you look at the elder one with pleading eyes, knowing that he would be easily bought over with your expression.

“father!” the younger guard urges him to respond and request for you to get off the horse.

you bit the inside of your lips, hoping that he would let you go one last time. he watched you grow up in the castle, and tonight was the last night he had the chance of watching you run away from your responsibilities.

the elder guard sucks in a deep breath, his chest puffing outwards. his son sighs and looks away, already knowing what he was going to say.

“m’lady,” he bows with one arm across his stomach. “please return by sunrise. you know how the Duke is when things don’t occur at the times they are supposed to.”

you grin widely, your hair braided comfortably without the helmet, since you were already used to riding Night. he resumes a straight posture, his son already returned to his designated spot right outside the barn. you wave to the both of them before pulling on the reigns and galloping away into the forest.

you didn’t need to pull on Night’s reigns to direct him; he knew exactly where to go. there was already a trampled-down path in the grass, through the trees and past the bushes.

ever since the Duke and Duchess let you ride on your own on Night, you’ve been finding every small excuse or pocket of free time to ride out on your own, even if it meant in the middle of the night, even if it meant you being alone.

being surrounded by guards and fellow royal figures all day round even before you could utter your first word was the setting you grew up in.

you’ve lost count of all the times you’ve been caught in the barn feeding the horses with the barn care-taker when you were supposed to be at ballroom-dance lessons. you’ve lost count of the times you ran off to play with the commoners’ children in the concourse whenever you left the castle to do walkabouts in the village with the Duchess.

but you’ve resigned to your fate and responsibilities. tomorrow, you would be wed to a stranger for the sake of the kingdom’s future.

you reach the corner of a village far away from the kingdom, looking behind your shoulders as you entered the deserted town and you saw nothing but the flag that was stuck on the tallest tower of the castle.

the kingdom was built on a hill, so you could only guess how long you’ve been on Night, now that the only thing visible to you was the flag.

you dismount Night, giving him a pat on his neck and pulling out a carrot from a pouch by his body. you let him munch on the snack while pulling on his reigns, scouring through the roads of the almost empty town.

there were villagers walking about once in a while, most of them looking like servants restocking or moving large boxes. it was quiet, until you heard a crowd cheer from a bar around the corner.

you tie Night’s reigns to a post right outside the bar, looking around and noticing that the streets were lit up with amber kerosene lights hung up about every two metres or so.

you take off the kingdom’s badge from Night’s reigns and shoved it into his pouch, leaving his gold medallion around his neck on with his name on it. you hoped that the medallion was enough to convince anybody not to steal it.

stealing royal property was a offence punishable by death.

you push through the wooden doors of the bar, the light from inside flashing in your eyes almost instantaneously. though the weather outside was cool, but the atmosphere inside warmed you thoroughly.

your eyes naturally find the source of the cheering, and you notice a crowd around a single, young man who was busy aiming darts at a board. every throw hits either bullseye or somewhere just centimetres away from it.

“ho!” the crowd cheers, mugs and hands in the air. you couldn’t help but to smile at the lively energy that you’d never see in the castle. the young man turns around, and you catch a glimpse of his face.

his hair was long but neat, till his ears, parting near the middle of his head and he was wearing brown, full-length coat. you smile to yourself after you realised it looked like it was made from potato sacks.

he had bright eyes that reminded you of the cat that loved to hang around Night, and he had a smile that would’ve been enough to let him pass off as a prince.

“deals’ a deal!” someone yells from the bar counter, assuming that it was the owner of the bar. you expected him to come out with a tray of beer glasses, or a bag of coins, but instead, you see him hand the young man a bag of apples.

“anything to keep these people entertained,” he grins widely and proudly, earning another round of loud cheers and pats on the back from the villagers. he gets pulled to a table in the corner of the bar as the crowd dissipates, the energy still running high in your blood.

you grab a seat at the counter right where the bar owner was busy cleaning the surfaces and continuously serving drinks. the hood was still over your head, and you were hoping the silver buttons on the your horse-riding jacket wasn’t going to catch anybody’s attention.

“can i get you anything, m’lady?” the bar owner asks quietly without looking at you, hands still holding a rag and cleaning the interior of a mug. you look up cautiously at the man, blinking at his sharp ability to pick up on your identity. “your boots are made from premium leather. i noticed it when you first came in.”

you smile gently, watching as he pushes a mug across the smooth surface, and it stops right within your reach.

“should i be worried there’s a member of a royal family sitting in my bar, m’lady?” he eyes you with a cheeky grin, knowing that he’s caused several question marks to pop up above your head.

‘a royal family’?

“the royal family isn’t very fitting for me to use. this village has no kingdom, thus i’ve got no reason to even call you ‘m’lady’.”

you chuckle softly, taking a big gulp from the mug.

“so,” he grabs a stool from behind a counter, and sits opposite you, a mug of beer in hand as well. the oil on his face was causing light to reflect off him like light reflects off water. the sight was familiar, but you’ve never been in those shoes. never have you once needed to work till your skin was shiny from sweat and humidity. “what brings a member of a royal family here?”

“i am to be married off to a prince i haven’t met before in my life tomorrow.”

he laughs loudly at your summarised story, arms hugging his belly as he takes another gulp of the beer. you notice the young man from before waving good bye to the others and taking his leave.

you return your attention to the bar owner, who also gave the young man one final wave before looking at you again.

“see, this is why i never understand the villagers for wanting to be part of a royal family. sure, none of you need to lift a finger to earn a penny, but you don’t get to make any decisions for yourself.”

you laugh, almost agonisingly. he wasn’t wrong.

“look at me!” he says with wide eyes, arms stretched out to his sides as he presented his bar to you.

“look at us,” he leans forward and gestures to every other villager in the bar.

“we live our lives the way we want to, and though it might be exhausting, nothing feels better than well-deserved gains after hardwork.”

you were holding the handle of the mug and pushing it in circles, causing the liquid inside to swish around softly.

“but i never asked to be born into the royal family. i’d rather spend my days in the barn, taking care of my horse and the other animals.”

he leans back against the cabinet behind him, giving you a warm smile. the man might’ve a ton of tattoos on his arms and even one on his neck that disappears behind his old, worn out shirt, but this was the best conversation you’ve ever had with anybody since the last time you spoke to a commoner.

you finish your beer, face flushed bright pink but not enough to make you drunk. even if you were, Night knew the way back to the kingdom. the bar owner gets up to clear your mug, and you leave a small pouch with coins worth more than five times the price of the single mug of beer you got.

you adjust your cloak, making sure your hood was covering your entire head and your silver buttons weren’t easy to spot. but you pushed your way out of the bar, only to see the young man from before patting Night on his neck, feeding him an apple that you assumed he won from playing darts.

you wonder how long he’s been standing there, accompanying your horse. he left just minutes after you got your beer, and you’ve spent at least twenty minutes finishing the rest of it.

what was more surprising was that Night wasn’t moving a single inch. he was so used to being taken care of by you, that whenever he was around strangers, he’d neigh and whinny so much, it would be difficult to ignore.

you watch quietly, taking small steps towards your horse and the young man who looked like he was talking to Night.

you thought he hasn’t noticed you, but he opens his mouth to greet you without looking at you.

“arabian horse. gold medallion. baroness? countess? princess, maybe?”

you halted in your tracks, watching as he slowly turns his attention from Night to you. the potato sack that he wore over his head and his body was so long, that it looked more like a cape, now that you’ve seen him in full.

under the potato sack, he wore a simple black vest over a white, long-sleeved top. the leather boots he was wearing looked like they haven’t been cleaned or repaired in the last decade.

“silver buttons,” he points out, eyes planted to your torso where the cloak parted and exposed your horse-riding jacket.

“which kingdom are you from? are you just a member of the royal family or are you the heir to the throne?” he feeds Night another apple. you watch as he ties the strings of the bag that still contained a few other apples in it to his belt.

“somewhere nearby,” you were careful with disclosing your information to a single stranger alone. “member of the royal family.”

he nods, giving Night one more pat before turning on his heels, looking like he was ready to walk off.

“wait!” you unconsciously push back your cloak, searching for the small pouches attached to your belt that contained coins. “what were the apples for?”

children? barn animals? his family?

“do you need more?” you hold out a single pouch by your fingers, dangling it on your outstretched hand. he turns to look at you, eyes focused on the pouch. he strolls over to you, not hesitating for a moment before taking the pouch, the exchange causing the coins to make clinking sounds.

he then puts two fingers his mouth, whistling loudly. you were shocked and surprised by the sudden, sharp sound, but soon you hear the sound of hooves galloping against the floor, and a gorgeous brown and white mustang gallops right up to him from behind you.

“good girl,” he whispers, the horse whinnying and rubbing her snout in his hair. he smiles, feeding her whatever that was left of the apples in the bag.

“thank you for the extra change. i’ll buy more apples with the rest of it tomorrow morning when the village market opens,” he huffs, getting on the horse with ease. you notice the mustang had no reigns, but there was a mark near the base of her neck where a medallion would usually be...

“care to ride with me? or do you need to return to your kingdom?” he jerks around on his horse as she sniffs Night.

it had been forever since you’ve ridden with someone, so you were elated when he extended the invitation, not bothering about the second part of his question.

soon, you found yourself galloping through the woods again, and you were in a part of the forest you weren’t familiar with. you and Night were just simply following behind him and his mustang.

if the Duke and Duchess were here, they’d be screaming their heads off at you with sophistication, interrogating you about why you thought following a stranger through the trees would be a good idea.

but there was something about the way he won those apples from the bar by entertaining the villagers, and the way he treated his horse... that reminded you of yourself, and that convinced you that he meant no harm.

you hear nothing but crickets and the sound of heavy hooves hitting the ground, but slowly, the sound of gushing water reaches your ears, and it sounded like music. your eyes brighten, and he must’ve noticed it when he turned back to look at you once he heard the sound of nature too. he smiles and turns back to look forward, and within minutes, you arrive at the land’s prettiest sight.

you were still on Night, admiring the way the moonlight reflected off the water. there were fireflies that lit up the strands of grass, the sound of crickets chirping and the gentle breeze that brushed the hood off your head. he dismounts from the mustang, giving her a pat as he lets her roam the area.

“how did you--” you whirled around to ask him a question about the waterfall, only to see him by the side of Night, one hand outstretched to you. his eyes were wide and gleaming, and there was something in them that was so inviting.

you gladly take his hand as he helps you get off Night, and he gives you space while you adjust the pouches on his sides. you were about to hook his reigns around a boulder nearby, but the young man stops you, his hold on your wrist gentle, but firm.

“he won’t run, trust me.”

you let him guide your hand away from the reigns, and Night starts taking small steps here and there but never looking like he was ready to gallop off. the young man releases his hold on you, and instead holds his elbow out to you, hand balled up into a fist and placed over his stomach.

you watch in kind wonder. though a little disappointed that you were still treated like royalty outside of your kingdom, you happily hook your arm through his. you walk along the lake until there was a relatively empty patch, where the grass was a little shorter and less wild. he pulls away, only to bow and offer you his right hand.

you blink in slight surprise, unsure if he was doing what you think he was doing.

“i had lessons when i was younger, so my apologies if my knowledge of this isn’t as up to standard as yours, your highness.”

you couldn’t help but to wonder how awkward and sudden this was, but it strangely just felt so right. you didn’t feel threatened at all, so taking his hand and allowing him to hold you just like any prince or baron or duke who’s danced with you before was pretty easy.

“so, what brings you out here into the wilderness in the middle of the night? i doubt your family would let you run off like this, even if you were just a member of a royal family,” he smiles at you. your hand was in his and on his shoulder, his hold on your waist light but careful. you were slowly moving around the space, both your feet, strangely enough, never once trampling on each other.

“running away from my responsibilities. being born into a royal family and having all these duties lay on your shoulders have been the only things i know.”

he hums in acknowledgement, his eyes never leaving yours.

“to tell you the truth, i’m quite surprised you accepted my invitation to ride with me. as far as i’m aware, members of the royal family don’t run off with strangers,” he flashes you a gorgeous smile, his eyes halving into pretty crescents and there was a glimmer in them like you’ve never seen before.

“i saw the way you were with the other villagers back in the bar, and the fact that you asked for apples in return, only to feed your horse... and you have no reign on her. it means you’ve spent a considerable amount of time with her for you to create that trust between you two. that tells me a lot.”

“i understand. i take it as a compliment?” he chuckles softly, raising his arm and twirling you around. usually you’d be in a dress if you were waltzing, so doing this here in the middle of a forest, in horseback riding fitting, was oddly satisfying.

you were finally doing something that wouldn’t be allowed in the ballroom.

“please do,” you giggle. but your light-hearted feelings disappear when he pulls you in after the spin. his hand was pressed flat against your lower back, and your head was tilted upwards to meet his eyes.

“so what are you going to tell the royal family once you get back?” he almost whispers. there was so little space between your faces that it doesn’t require much volume to speak. “surely they would’ve noticed that you’re gone by now?”

a smile breaks out on your lips upon the question, and he turns you around. you rest your upper body weight on his arm as you lean back, his arms holding you in a dip.

you expected him to drop you or at least feel his arm tremble from the weight, but he doesn’t. his hold was firm and had no signs of faltering.

there was absolutely no way lessons when he was younger was enough to give him the strength and ability to hold you like this.

“where did you learn to waltz like this?” you quietly ask, eyes locking with his again as his nose comes dangerously close to yours. he flashes you the same smile you saw at the bar, and you truly wonder if he was a prince or simply a commoner.

everything about him was sophisticated, but there was no physical evidence that he was of royal blood.

“i’d like to keep that a secret, your highness,” he tilts his head and leans forward. your eyes flutter shut upon the contact of his lips against yours, and your chest begins to pound. butterflies fill your stomach and chills run through you despite feeling the warmth of his palm on your lower back.

he tasted sweet, like apples. and though you expected to smell the scent of the potato sack he had around his shoulders, all you could smell was the scent of dew and water from nature.

he pulls away, and the air that runs between your faces makes you yearn for more. but you remember you were supposed to get married tomorrow.

“in fact, i’d like to keep this night a secret between us, your highness.”

he pulls you back up and lets go, the lack of touch making your heart drop into your stomach. you’ve danced with countless of princes, dukes and barons across the country, but never did you once miss someone’s touch.

you hated how intimate you felt with this stranger. physical boundaries weren’t really a thing anymore, since waltzing with so many other princes granted them the permission to touch you.

but you felt close to him.

what were the chances that you could fall in love with a stranger within just one night? everything about him made you want to know more about him.

how he did he know how to waltz like this? which kingdom he belonged to, or if he wasn’t, where was he from?

you let the thoughts run in your head as he lifts your hand, lightly planting a kiss on the back of your palm. he looks up to you through his hair, and you wish you could’ve said something, but nothing comes to mind.

“i’ll leave first, so you don’t need to worry that i’ll be following you,” he draws a circle on your skin, now standing up straight and looking at you like he loved you. “this has been a magical night, your highness. i was lucky to have met you tonight, and if the heavens would permit it, i hope this isn’t the first and last dance i’ll have with you.”

your heart shatters as he releases your hand from his. he turns on his heels and heads back to his horse, hopping onto her like it was nothing and gallops off without once looking back at you.

you sigh heavily, a heavy, but empty feeling filling your stomach.

not after i get married, i won’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the servant carefully pulls your veil over your face as you hear the entire kingdom go off in music and festivity. your face was void of emotion as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

your hair took three people to tie and decorate, and your wedding dress had been specifically tailored to fit your every curve. everybody in the room was cooing at how beautiful you looked, but all you could think of was the stranger you feel in love with last night.

you soon found yourself behind the familiar large doors of the biggest ballroom in the castle, and beyond that door would be every royal member of your family and your extended family.

the prince you were marrying would be standing at the altar, waiting for you.

“i’m so proud of you for doing this,” the Duke, your father, says with a pinch of affection in his voice. he knew very well that it wasn’t in your power to say no, but it was the same for him, and it was the same for anybody else born into royalty.

“i thought you weren’t going to return last night, and i was ready to accept that you wouldn’t,” his words caused you to feel an ache in your heart, motivating you to turn to look at him. “so when you did, you had absolutely no clue how proud i was of you. you will be a great Duchess, my beautiful girl.”

his words get softer and softer as he leans forward and kisses you on the forehead through your veil. tears threaten to collect in your eyes at his short speech.

you weren’t entirely sure if you were on the verge of crying because he was so proud of you for choosing your kingdom over the stranger, or that you knew there was no chance of you seeing him again.

the wedding march comes on from inside the ballroom, and the doors swing open to reveal an almost all-white setting. every piece of cloth was white and every piece of furniture was gold. you look up straight ahead at the man standing at the altar, and his suit was white and gold in color as well.

he doesn’t turn around despite everybody standing up at the sound of the doors opening.

you empathise, knowing that he probably doesn’t want to be here either.

it felt like years while your father walks you down the isle, and he finally lets you go for you to walk up the altar on your own.

the wedding officiate gestures to both you and the prince.

you take deep breaths to calm your heart while you look up, but your heart stops instead.

he looked almost as surprised as you were, but you could see the moment he collects himself and his prince-smile replaces his look of shock.

your mind immediately flashes back to the previous night, and you remember that dance.

you remember the way you melted into his hold and touch, the way he tasted like apples, the way he wished that it wasn’t going to be your first and last dance.

he looks at you with loving eyes as he heaves a sigh of relief, realising that you never once said you weren’t a princess or the daughter of a Duke.

what were the chances?

“do you, prince park of the northern lands, take lady y/n of the eastern kingdom to be your--”

“i do.”

you stifle a soft giggle at him interrupting the wedding officiate, trying your best to hold back your tears of relief.

“uh... very well. do you, lady y/n of the eastern kingdom, take prince park to be your law--”

“i do.”

your prince grins widely. the wedding officiate looks a little confused, but he quickly nods and announces, “you may now kiss the bride.”

he was so careful with your veil, and every move of his was so soft, so gentle, and there were no words to describe how ecstatic you were. he leans forward and pauses just about an inch away from your lips.

“the heavens must’ve heard my prayers.”

you smile widely, finally allowing the tears in your eyes to rush down your face as he kisses you lovingly. his hands find your waist and your arms find his shoulders, completely giving into the kiss as the audience applauds.

you pull away and he looks at you with eyes you know you won’t ever be bored of. it should’ve been impossible, but falling in love with a stranger was the most wondrous thing that’s happened to you.

- end -

A/N: big fat sobs uwuwuwuwuw

#timetohajima #timetohajima playlist feels #fluff #prince seonghwa #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa au #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa imagine #ateez fic #ateez fever #ateez imagine #seonghwa one shot #BIG FAT UWUS #my hearteu #died #royalty au

110 notes · View notes

sugaabooga · 4 years

Text

Chance | 5

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader | Jimin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, rich!Seokjin, rich!Jimin

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: PG-13, alcohol consumption, alcohol intoxication, societal classes

Synopsis: Seokjin had no problem of getting girls and also had no problem of getting rid of them. One girl after the next. So why was it that you - a middle-class citizen - was an exception? You - a middle-class citizen - made Seokjin question if he really did have it all. But one thing’s for sure. He didn’t have any of your chances.

Clank.

The glass in Seokjin’s hand nearly shatters at the sheer force he slams it down on the bar counter.

Seokjin grunts, sloppily gesturing towards the wide-eyed bartender who stares at him with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry sir,” he says with a gentle voice. “I’m afraid you’ve had too much to drink. Do you have anyone to pick you up or should I call a cab?”

Seokjin whines, laying his head against the counter and wriggling his body as if there was a rat crawling up and down his body.

“Mur,” Seokjin pouts.

“Excuse me?” the bartender leans forward in hopes of hearing some kind of name of number he could call.

Seokjin lifts up his body feeling heavier than usual and props his hand under his chin to look straight at the young man in front of him.

“Jungcoook?” Seokjin squints at the bartender’s name tag, arm sliding from underneath him.

Jungkook smiles good-naturedly, quite nice for a mere bartender who deals with countless drunkards each night.

“That’s me,” he answers. “It’s getting close to the end of my shift and I would like to send you home before I go.”

Seokjin nods heartily at him. “Yur a nice kid.”

Jungkook shrugs, setting aside a glass he just finished wiping dry. “Just doing my job I guess.”

“You see,” Seokjin sighs, eyeing the bottle of whiskey a few inches away from where Jungkook stands. “I can’t call anyone.”

Jungkook nods. “I’ll hail a cab.”

Seokjin merely hums as Jungkook turns around to place the glasses on the shelf behind him. Taking this as a chance, Seokjin uses all the soberness left in him to reach over the counter and grab the whiskey bottle by the neck, hurriedly and sloppily pouring out the alcohol into his empty glass.

“Which area do you- SIR!” Jungkook shrieks mid-question, turning around to see Seokjin hastily gulp down the remains of the drink. Jungkook snatches the glass from his hand in exasperation before Seokjin can tilt his glass again for the last few drops left underneath the ice cubes.

“No cab,” Seokjin mutters as Jungkook merely sighs. Why was this wealthy man, probably mid to late twenties, drowning himself in drinks tonight?

Jungkook bets this guy wouldn’t even have to work part-time jobs like he had to in order to make ends meet. So why was he so miserable?

Seokjin huffs, yanking out his phone and fingers automatically finding a specific name in his contacts.

He rests his head on the counter once again as he strategically places his phone on top of his ear, letting the rings lull him in and out of consciousness.

“How’d you even know I was working overtime?” you ask Jimin who lazily spins around in his chair.

“I called Hoseok for a drink but he said he was too tired and mentioned how you were working past working hours,” Jimin recalls. “Again.”

“And you just. . . decided to come?”

Jimin nods. “Of course. Can’t have you suffering alone.”

You blink a few times at the man who appears quite nonchalant about this whole ordeal while you were purely confused at how you were supposed to feel. This wouldn’t be weird if that intimate moment a few days back hadn’t happened.

You were sure his hand lingered longer than usual after he had gently tucked your hair behind your ear and his eyes gazed with a look you’ve never seen before.

You quickly shake the thought out of your head, refusing to mull over that moment more than you needed to. He was merely comforting you as a friend. There was no need to overthink anything. Those things can happen from time to time.

Then the rest of his sentence registers in your head. Once again, the fact that Jimin even calls Hoseok regularly surprises you despite it being widely known in your department how Jimin was probably the only one who free-spiritedly joked around with Hoseok. “You. . . You’re close with Hoseok, right?”

Jimin immediately hums in response, as if he didn’t know how intimidated everyone was of the marketing manager and actively avoided any sort of contact with him.

“I mean. . . he’s only a year older than us,” Jimin states, making you turn to him in shock.

“WHAT!?” you gasp. You had assumed Hoseok was at least four years older than you. Now you realize, he did look quite young, but his workplace habits were of an accomplished forty year old who was ready to retire early.

Jimin giggles at your shock. “Yeah. It’s pretty obvious though. That hyung really is youthful. He’s actually fairly optimistic and a great listener. Which makes him the perfect drinking buddy.”

You roll your eyes at Jimin’s alcohol fanaticism making an appearance. “Well, you do know about his reputation in the office right?”

Jimin stops his swiveling, turning to look at you properly. His gaze switches to a more serious gaze as he lowers his voice. “Cold caller baller?”

You break out into a smile, scrunching your nose in the process at Jimin’s genuine inquiry. “What the hell is that?” you laugh. “I meant how everyone treats him like ‘he who shall not be named’. Everytime someone mentions,” pause “Hoseok,” you whisper, making Jimin scoff. “He randomly appears and scolds the whole team.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Now that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard about.”

You open your mouth to protest but freeze as Jimin shifts closer, his head just a few inches away from yours.

“It’s probably because Hoseok’s the only one in our department who gives a shit about his job,” Jimin smirks, playfully dropping to a low whisper at Hoseok’s name. “That’s why everyone’s scared. They can’t handle his professionalism.”

You gulp, barely noticing the hidden indirect insult Jimin purposely shot at you with the purpose of agitating you, and instead being able to only focus on why he was so close to you and why you felt like you suddenly couldn’t breathe.

Jimin’s smirk slightly drops into a concerned frown when he realizes you aren’t reacting the way he had expected you to react.

“Y/N?”

Bang.

Both of you look up in alarm towards the entrance of the office that leads out to the elevators at the echo of something crashing into the wall.

Jimin stands up from his chair, leaning his body back to look as far as he can out the glass doors.

“Was someone else working overtime?” he asks, earning a shake of your head. Jimin starts heading towards the doors to check out the sound as you click out of your tabs for the night. Everything else that was left on your slides, you could finish up tomorrow morning. Right now, you were quite convinced that you were very exhausted, especially judging from the way you suddenly froze up in close proximity with your long-time best friend whom you had only platonic feelings for.

You let out a long exhale, forcing the thought out of your brain and logging out of your computer then carefully placing the flash drive with all the project details into your bag’s inner pocket. After half-heartedly organizing your desk area and cubicle, you walk towards the exit, heels softly clacking against the tiles as Jimin comes in through the doors peering into a black bag.

“What’s that?” you ask curiously. Jimin looks up and turns back around to head towards the elevators after noticing that you were done for the night.

“I don’t know,” he answers. “It was dropped against the wall which was probably the sound we heard.”

“Is there anything in it?”

Jimin nods, pulling out a bag of chips. “Snacks.”

You can’t help but let your jaw slightly drop at the sight of food after working for hours straight without a proper meal since 2pm.

It was your favorite brand of chips too.

“Gimme,” you pout, making Jimin chuckle.

“I don’t think we should just take it though,” he hesitates. “Isn’t it kind of bad to take something someone else bought? Without permission?”

“But it was literally on the floor,” you reason, not as morally righteous as your friend beside you.

Jimin still debates, fiddling with the handle of the bag. “Hey there’s a lunchbox in here.”

He fishes out the bulgogi meal pack with rice and a few other pre-packaged side dishes. Your eyes widen at the humble meal as if it were a five-star lobster.

“Okay, forget the chips,” you gasp. “We have to eat the lunchbox. If it’s left here uneaten, it’s going to spoil! What a waste that would be!”

Jimin laughs at your logic but still shakes his head. “Let’s just drop this off at the front desk.”

You purse your lips in distaste as the elevator finally dings, indicating its arrival.

Jimin grins, internally cooing at how cute you were.

“Dinner’s on me,” he adds as you begrudgingly press the lobby button.

You whip around to him, instantly perking up with newfound energy. “For real!?”

Jimin is nearly floored by your glistening eyes that were sparkling just because he offered to buy you dinner. He can’t help but match your wide grin as he nods. “Yup. Just name it! Actually, besides the five-star restaurants downtown.”

You snicker as Jimin quickly draws the boundaries to your food choices.

The one time you went out for dinner with him after college graduation, your food suggestion resulted in a $285 check for two steaks and a teeny tiny salad.

Your jaw had dropped all the way down to the floor at the sight of the bill. You tried to split the bill but Jimin had physically pushed you out of the restaurant, insisting to pay for the meal.

Even to this day, you have no idea how Jimin managed to pay the bill as a fellow broke college student who had yet to land a stable income.

“Hm. . . I’m craving donkatsu,” you say, indirectly asking Jimin if he was okay with pork cutlet for dinner.

“Donkatsu!” Jimin exclaims with a wide grin.

“I take it that you agree?” you say with a scoff at his child-like excitement at the mention of his favorite food and playfully nudge his shoulder when the elevator doors open.

Jimin gulps at your playful grin and your bright eyes peering up at him, making his heart stutter and mind going blank.

Geez. What was wrong with him today? Either you were extra attractive or he was just more whipped than usual.

“Jimin?” you ask confusedly when he remains standing still in the elevator with an indecipherable look.

Jimin’s head jerks up at the sound of his name and he glances around, confused at when the elevator doors had opened and when you had already left his side.

“Park!” you yell, catching Jimin’s attention from his distracted glances around the elevator.

“Yes?” he immediately responds, making you look at him with pure bewilderment.

“You good?”

Jimin breathily laughs making you crack a hesitant smile.

“Yeah I’m-”

“Oh Y/N!” the front desk receptionist on night duty calls. You turn around at the sound of her voice and give her a polite smile, walking towards her desk.

Meanwhile, Jimin hurriedly presses the open door button as the elevator doors start to close and quickly follows after you.

“Hey. . .” you trail off, unable to remember her name.

“Soo-ah,” Jimin smiles at her with a slight jog, catching up to you and saving you from embarrassment.

Soo-ah grins back at the charming man in front of her, not even noticing that you had forgotten her name despite the years both of you worked here.

“Soo-ah,” you repeat with a smile.

“Congratulations, Y/N,” Soo-ah says right off the bat.

Your brows slightly raise in question, exchanging a confused glance with Jimin.

“For… what?” you ask.

Did I get a raise I don’t know about?

Soo-ah slightly tilts her head. “I heard you got scouted by JJ Corps.”

“JJ Corps?” you and Jimin ask simultaneously, eyes widening.

Seokjin’s company?

Our company?

“Yeah. The director himself came and asked which floor you were on,” Soo-ah pauses. “Wait. . . I just realized that it’s past the normal office hours. How did he know you were working overtime?”

Jimin frowns. If it was the director, that would be Seokjin.

Seokjin came?

“Did you get his name?” Jimin asks the befuddled receptionist before you can open your mouth.

You shoot Jimin a slight glance, noting how Jimin almost seemed agitated. Last time, Jimin had known Seokjin’s name even though you made sure not to tell anyone since Seokjin was such a known public figure. And now, it almost seemed as if Jimin was on the same page as you, suspecting that it was Seokjin who had come over.

“Um. . .” Soo-ah tries to recall, attracting your attention once again and keep in mind to mention it to Jimin later. Her eyes lighting up in remembrance. “Ah! I think it was Kim. . . Seojik? Seonjin?”

“Seok...jin?” you hesitantly suggest. Soo-ah lets out a sound of recognition and nods.

“Ah. Yes, yes. It said Kim Seokjin, Director of JJ Corps on his business card.”

Jimin holds in his questions and scans your reaction. For the first time in your years of friendship, Jimin couldn’t read your face. Your lips were turned into a grim line and your eyes seemed blank, void of any emotion.

You nod with a wry smile, mumbling a thank you and greeting goodnight to Soo-ah and turn around, walking towards the lobby doors.

Jimin stands watching your retreating figure with slight worry and hurriedly snatches out the bag of your favorite chips and hands the rest of the black bag to Soo-ah.

“Oh?” Soo-ah lets out a noise of surprise at the familiar bag. “This was what Mr. Kim was hold-”

Soo-ah stops mid-sentence at the realization that she was alone. A small smile appears as she scoffs in amusement watching Jimin trail after you like a lost puppy with the chips in hand. Jimin playfully, but hesitantly pokes the side of your face with a tiny, shy smile, forcing you to give him your attention. Soo-ah sighs, plopping back down onto her swivel chair once you take the chips with a roll of your eyes. Jimin’s arm hovers over your shoulder as he debates whether to put his arm around you. His fist clenches as he decides against it and Jimin continues walking with his hands behind his back.

Soo-ah sighs with pity at his internal debate that she just witnessed.

“Will she ever notice?” Soo-ah mutters to herself at the unfortunate sight of Jimin quite obviously whipped for a girl who has no idea of his feelings.

“Bus is here,” Jimin announces nudging you up off the bus stop bench.

You climb up the steps and fiddle around your bag for your pre-paid bus pass. The bus driver softly sighs as you continue rummaging with a apologetic smile.

“Two please,” Jimin intercepts with his own card from behind you.

Beep.

His chest gently presses against your back, his warmth wrapping around your cold frame draped around with a thin cardigan.

Before you can think anything more of how comforting his warmth felt, your feet jut out, walking towards the two seats on the left side of the bus as the driver continues to drive his nightly route.

“Thanks,” you say as you sit down.

Jimin shakes his head as a sign of no problem. He follows after you, plopping down on the cushiony seat next to you and setting his bag onto his lap.

You try to ignore Jimin’s burning stare at the side of your face by mindlessly scrolling on your phone then give up with a huff once Jimin doesn’t look away for a few good seconds.

“What?” you sigh, turning your head to look at your friend. You instinctively shift backwards once you notice the close proximity.

Jimin silently studies your face for a quick second before offering you a small smile. “Finish the chips already?”

You roll your eyes with a light-hearted scoff. “Yes. I told you. I was hungry. I threw them away while you were looking down the street for the bus.”

Jimin laughs with a nod. “Good job. That was the appetizer.”

You smile to yourself, savoring these small moments with Jimin in your life.

“Are you uh. . . Are you okay?”

You stay silent for a moment before letting out a breathy laughing with a smile, looking up at the back of another passenger’s head. “What do you mean? Of course I’m okay.”

“I’m talking about Seokjin,” Jimin specifies bluntly.

You weren’t quite sure if you were okay. All you could think of were endless questions. Why had he come to your office? Why didn’t he call or text instead? It’s been a full two weeks since you last met up with him about the money envelope.

You look back down at your bag perched on your lap and unknowingly fiddle with the end of your gudetama keychain, a nervous habit of yours.

Jimin feels his own fingers twitch, reaching out towards your fidgety ones before he stops himself.

You had made yourself somewhat clear last time. Jimin felt you draw a certain line. Whether it was fear or genuine dislike, he wasn’t sure, but all he knew was that the two of you had boundaries that he had to keep in order to keep your friendship out of jeopardy.

Jimin sighs, reminding himself that your friendship is more important than his confusing feelings and pulls away his hand.

RRing.

At the sound of the obnoxious rings, you dig into your bag, looking for your phone.

The rings continue, attracting attention from the other passengers on the bus, and it’s only when Jimin feels the glares and hears harsh whispers directed in his direction that he fully turns to you, wondering why you weren’t picking up the call.

You stay still as a statue looking down at your phone. Jimin side-eyes your phone, lips slightly parting in realization once he reads the caller id.

Kim Seokjin.

You stare at your screen, reading the name over and over again, tuning out the rest of the bus who were now thoroughly annoyed.

It is only when the call ends and your family picture pops back up that you let out a shaky breath.

You start to put your phone back in your bag when the rings start again. A series of groans and sighs fill the bus.

Kim Seokjin.

Why was he calling? What else does he have to say?

“Aren’t you going to pick up?”

Your head sharply turns at Jimin’s question.

“What?”

Jimin shrugs, avoiding your eyes. “If you’re debating that much about answering his call, just answer it. If you’re over him, tell him clearly so he knows your definite stance in your relationship.”

You stay silent, pondering for a brief moment and finally get enough courage to swipe your finger across the call button.

“H-Hello?” you answer.

“Good evening,” an unfamiliar voice greets back, making your brows furrow and double-check if this was really Seokjin.

“Uh. . . who is this?” you ask as you see Jimin turning to you from the corner of your eye.

“Ah. Sorry about the inconvenience. This is Jeon Jungkook from Sky Lounge and I am calling from customer Kim Seokjin’s cell phone. Mr. Kim seems severely drunk at the moment and I saw that he called you just a few seconds ago so I figured you were somewhat closely affiliated with him?”

“Oh. . .No. . . Well, used to be, I guess,” you answer with uncertainty at the relation you have with Seokjin.

Have a definite stance in your relationship.

“Ah, well we need-”

“I would like to think I have very little relation to Mr. Kim,” you state. “I hope you can get him home safe. My apologies.”

“Wait Ma’am-”

You quickly tap the red button to end the call and toss your phone into your bag.

“Was that not Seokjin?” Jimin asks confusedly as you let out a long exhale.

You shake your head. “It was. . . but. . .”

He’ll get home safe, right? The Jungkook guy sounded nice over the phone. He’ll hail a cab or something right? But Seokjin seems dead drunk. What if he accidentally sleeps with a girl or gets taken advantage of? He’s currently in a vulnerable state. The bartender also mentioned that Seokjin called himself before he gave a second call. Why would Seokjin call me if he’s drunk? Maybe he wants me specifically to pick him up? Does he have no one else to call? Is that why he had no choice but to call me?

“Was it some manager or something? That rude rich people stu-”

“Sorry Jimin,” you hastily apologize, slamming the red button on the side of the bus, indicating for the bus driver to pull over on the curb. “Let’s get dinner tomorrow. I’ll call you later.”

Jimin sputters as you climb over his legs and speedily shuffle towards the open sliding doors.

“W-Wait. I’ll go with you.”

You hop off the bus, Jimin closely behind you as the bus takes off to leave the both of you in the middle of a random sidewalk near downtown.

“Y/N,” Jimin calls, grabbing hold of your wrist to turn you around and forcing you to stop in the midst of your hurried steps.

You’re slightly out of breath when you respond with a quiet ‘yea?’

“Can you please explain what’s going on?” he asks.

You sigh, tugging Jimin’s arm to walk while you explain. “It was a bartender at Sky Lounge. Apparently, Seokjin’s drunk right now.”

You cared. You still cared about Seokjin. Jimin’s lips turn into a straight line as he tries to ignore the bitter feeling entering him.

“I’m sure he’ll get home safe. The bartender will hail a cab for him or call someone else in his contact list.”

That’s rational. That’s the logical facts.

“I. . . I know,” you reply as Jimin catches up the few steps to walk beside you. “But I have to see for myself to get rid of this worrying feeling. What if something happens to him?”

Jimin suppresses the urge to tell you that there’s little to none possibility that someone as tall and intimidating as Seokjin, under the supervision of bartenders at a top-class bar, falls in danger.

“Yeah. I get it,” Jimin lies.

He doesn’t get it.

You look at google maps pulled up on your phone that directs you to Sky Lounge, around a two-minute walk from where you currently are. You turn your head to your surroundings, finding something quite familiar about the buildings and restaurants in this specific part of downtown.

“There?” Jimin points towards the fancy looking bar near the end of the street.

The banner read in cursive, dark maroon red and white light, Sky Lounge.

“Yeah. Seems to be the place,” you pause, looking around once more. You recognize this street. “Hey isn’t that the five-star restaurant we ate in last time?”

Jimin follows your gaze to the said restaurant that he had paid for a while back. Jimin grimaces at the memory of his father pestering him if he had a girlfriend after that big gap in his credit card at a hot romantic dating spot.

“Yeah,” Jimin answers. “Sky Lounge is a luxury bar which is why all the five-star restaurants and stores are gathered here.”

“The elite town,” you smack your lips, adjusting your bag and walking down the sidewalk, past the flashy lamps and designer brand stores.

Soon enough, you arrive in front of the bar and with no hesitation, you pull open the glass doors only to get pulled by the doors yourself.

These were a lot heavier than you thought.

Jimin snickers next to you, nudging you aside and pulling the doors open with ease.

“I told you, you need to hit the gym,” Jimin mutters from behind you while you hurry into the bar with a half-hearted thanks, eyes scanning the tables and counters with all types of couples, businessmen, and businesswoman mingling and getting drunk.

You squint under the dim lights and spot a lone, slumped over figure at the counter. A tuft of dark brown hair poked out between the figure’s arms as their legs haphazardly dangled from underneath them. You glance at the coat draped over the man’s chair and you immediately recognize it as one of Seokjin’s designer brand coats that he wore the most often.

By often, you meant once every three months.

You quickly make your way over to Seokjin and try to shake him awake.

“Seokjin?” you clarify, grasping his arm and simultaneously shaking his shoulder.

You hear a series of incoherent grumbles and with a sudden jerk of his head, Seokjin’s eyes meet yours and they seem to bore into your soul.

Seokjin laughs in surprise, a whiff of strong liquor drifting into your nostrils and making you scrunch up your nose.

“Y/N,” Seokjin giggles.

Oh, he was extremelyyy drunk.

“Seokjin,” you sigh. “Why’d you drink so much? No, actually tell me later. Let’s get you home first, alright?”

Seokjin’s bottom lip juts out as he wiggles out of your grasp. “I aM a big kid. NO. Man. I’m a big, caaaaaapable man. You see thiS fACe? Wuuurldwide hannsum.”

You sigh, rolling your eyes. “Are you now?”

Seokjin nods with a slight laugh.

You slightly pause in your tugging to properly take a look at him.

Despite the fact that he was drinking right now, it seemed that Seokjin still looked as healthy and unaffected as ever. Quite contrary to you whose hair was tied into a messy bun and eyes were slightly swollen every single morning from tearing up or straight up sobbing yourself to sleep.

How was it possible that a dead drunk man could still be so handsome? His reddened cheeks only made his face glow with a child-like innocence and put an odd emphasis to his lack of pores. The dim lighting of the bar only seemed to make his eyes brighter as he sat near the lights on the shelves. His tousled, messy hair only added to his attractiveness as he grumbled under his breath with those pouty pink lips.

“Are you Miss Y/N?”

You’re pulled out of your daze by a familiar voice. Over the counter stood Jungkook, the employee who had called you.

You immediately nod. “Yes. that’s me.”

Jungkook represses the urge to point out how you made it seem like you weren’t ever going to show up in Seokjin’s life again over the phone and instead shoots you a grateful smile.

“Thank goodness. I’m Jungkook. The employee who called you earlier. My shift is almost over so I was just about to call a cab. Having someone Mr. Kim knows to pick him up is a lot more assuring.”

“Yeah. I got a little worried, so I just decided to come myself,” you say with a small laugh.

A movement from the corner of your eye makes you turn your attention to Seokjin who was attempting to stand up from his stool. As if in slow motion, Seokjin’s foot gets caught on the stool’s footrest, his eyes still closed from intoxication. His heavy form starts to lean towards you and before you know it, he’s full on falling towards your small frame, your helpless arms reaching out in a pointless attempt to brace yourself against a full grown man’s deadweight.

But, the impact of his body never comes.

Jungkook curiously eyes the other man in the picture who holds Seokjin in an awkward hug, shielding him from your body.

You peer up at Jimin who huffs as he waddles Seokjin back down onto the stool. Keeping his arm supporting Seokjin’s back, Jimin turns to Jungkook.

“Did this guy pay?” he asks.

Jungkook nods with widened eyes at what he just witnessed. “Yes. I charged everything to his card just a few minutes ago.”

Jimin nods and grabs Seokjin’s coat, poorly attempting to shove the drunken man’s limp arms through the holes with one arm while holding him up with the other arm.

You quickly intercept and help hold up the coat for Jimin who gives you a brief smile before successfully draping the coat around Seokjin and buttoning it up.

“Hey, can you help him get on my back?” Jimin asks with a non arguable tone.

You push away the habitual need to protest whenever Jimin gets too caring and instead nod with a slight sigh.

Seokjin whines as Jimin adjusts him on his back with a grunt.

“Have a good evening,” Jimin greets Jungkook, you doing the same as you swing Jimin’s bag over your own shoulder and trail after him.

Jungkook gives you a slight bow and quickly wipes down the counter where Seokjin was slobbering over before leaving. He tilts his head as he takes off his apron with genuine amusement at the relationship dynamic between the three of you.

It was quite obvious you had some kind of history with Seokjin judging from the tone of your voice over the call and after, your reaction. Perhaps an ex? Then, Jimin. Where did he fit in the picture?

Jungkook hums with a shake of his head, checking out with a beep of his employee card. If Jimin wasn’t romantically interested in you yet, he sure will be soon as seen from the way he was constantly putting himself between you and Seokjin.

How interesting, Jungkook muses. There would definitely be heartbreak between that trio.

#bts #networkbangtan #btsboulangerie #btsguild #bangtanhq #bangtanidx #btsbookclub #btswriterscollective #bts fanfic #seokjin fanfic #jimin fanfic #seokjin x reader #jimin x reader

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #411

“everybody’s got loaded stories, and i know for a fact everybody sees a bullseye on my back”

Have you ever been to jail? No. Opinion on snow? I absolutely love it! Not big on the slush it leaves behind, though. It gets ugly. What are you best at drawing? Meerkats. Are you scared of going over bridges? Nah. If you had endless energy and stamina, how would you spend your days? Plenty of exercise, lots of exploration with my camera, doing chores much more regularly... stuff like that. What mental or physical space do you go when you want to recharge or relax? I go to my room and watch YouTube. Did you have/use a comfort object as a child (do you continue to have one)? I actually don't remember. Now as an adult, if I go somewhere, my purse is actually like my comfort item in that I like to sit and sort of hug it to feel more secure. When was the last time you said something you regret? What did you say? I'm unsure. What do you tend to get carried away with? New hobbies/interests. It will be like all I care about for a long while, ha ha. Do you believe we have souls; do you believe in a life after death? Yes to both. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes, and it's the absolute worst. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? We had those Flintstones ones for a while, but for most of my childhood, we had gummy vitamins. Have you ever gone to court? Well, yes, but not for like your ordinary court hearing. While hospitalized on one occasion, a lawyer visited to speak to the patients informing us that we could argue against our discharge dates if we believed we were going to be committed for too long, which I thought I was, so I signed up to bring my case in front of a judge. So yeah, I've been to court, but not for ordinary reasons. Are you friends with your neighbors? "Friends," no. The people to our left like just moved out, and I don't even know if we've ever been outside at the same time as the family on our right. Favorite color? I like baby pink. How long has it been since you’ve seen The Lion King? I saw the CGI remake when it came out, if that counts? I don't know about the original. When did you last hold hands with someone? Sometime when I was at my sister's house, my niece grabbed my hand to drag me somewhere, ha ha. Have you ever had a crush on your sibling's friend? No. Have you ever gone to a beach? Multiple times. How good is your eyesight? It is very, VERY bad. I need new glasses severely. What’s the best wedding you’ve been to? My former dance teacher's. Have you ever had a negative encounter with the police? What happened? No. What’s your favourite thing to cook/bake? Do you eat it often? I don't do either. How do you flush the toilet in public? I generally use my elbow. I don't like standing on one leg, so I don't really use my foot like I'd prefer. Favorite horror movie? Silent Hill is dearest to me overall just because of what it is, but as a horror film, I think the original Blair Witch Project is best. Do you have your wisdom teeth? X-rays have only ever shown two are present, but I have enough space for those. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on their appearance. The snake I have currently is named Venus because her coloration is similar to the planet. Do you like peanuts? Only when covered in chocolate. Where do you typically shop for bras and underwear? Do you tend to keep it simple, or have a variety of different items? Have you ever gotten a professional bra fitting? I don't get new undergarments (or clothes in general) frequently, but historically, my bras are bought online and underwear just from Wal-Mart. I don't really get the second question? I mean I don't have a style when it comes to those types of clothes, if that's what you mean. I've never had an actual bra-fitting, but I absolutely need to but keep putting it off. It seems like NO bra fits me properly all-around, and it's ridiculously annoying. What (if any) types of xrays/scans/other diagnostic tests have you had done? Was anything found? Idk man, a lot. I've had xrays on my wrist (found a fracture), teeth, legs... maybe more? I've also had an ultrasound on my liver for reasons I don't recall. I either had an MRI or CT scan (I can't remember which) when I got a concussion, and uhhhh... I can't think of anything else. Were you breast or bottle fed as a child? If you plan to have children, which do you think you’ll choose? Do you think one is really better than the other? I was nursed, and if I hypothetically had children, I'd definitely try to do the same. It was so incredible to me that I've never forgotten this: when I was at the hospital while my sister had her first baby, there was a chart on the wall of how many more nutrients were in breast milk versus formula milk, and the list was GARGANTUAN. Like, unbelievable. Now, do I think it's BETTER? That's a complicated question for which, in short, my answer is no. More nutritious, well, given what I just said, obviously. But breastfeeding just doesn't work for all mothers for a plethora of reasons, like the time demand, they can be self-conscious, it's painful... and all those things are okay. A mother should do what works best for her. Neither one is "wrong" or makes someone less of a mother because they feed their child less traditionally. Do you find that you have become more selective in terms of friendships as you’ve gotten older? Did the friendships you thought would last over time end up that way? Absolutely. There are just some kinds of people I absolutely do not tolerate anymore. And no, not most. We just drifted apart with time, or given most of my closest friendships are/were online, they just fell off the face of the earth. What are you doing right now? This and re-watching John Wolfe play Bloodborne. Bloodborne is such a comfort series to me... somehow, ha ha. Yet another game I've never played but desperately want to. Where are you? In my bedroom, as always. When you get yelled at, do you yell back or let it go? Depending on who it is, I might yell back, but most likely cry, ha ha. I hate being yelled at, like a lot. Is the person you last texted single? That would be my mom, so yeah. I've hoped she'd find a partner forever... She, probably more than anyone I know, deserves love from the *right* guy. I worry a lot how lonely she may become whenever I move out. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not at all. Are you friends with any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriends? Girt and Sara, yes. Are you lonely? Be honest. Very. What has made you happy today? It's too early for this. What has made you sad today? Nothing, really. Last thing eaten? I had leftover pancakes from yesterday. Are you wearing anything that’s not yours? No. Do you like to wear makeup? I mean it makes me feel prettier, sure, but the actual time investment doesn't feel worth it for me personally. Especially when you're not even that good with applying it. Have you ever attempted to write a story or novel? Many times when I was younger. Would you rather have perfect hair or perfect skin? Perfect skin. I hate my skin, it has so many blemishes. What’s your middle name? Marie. How big is your bed? Queen. Do you drink? Only a bit for special occasions, really. I'll have a daiquiri on your average day every once and a blue moon. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life? That's an understatement. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Pasta. I hate coleslaw. Do you find smoking unattractive? Yes. Where’s the last place you went besides your house? The TMS office. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yes. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. Do you like your cell phone? No, but it gets the job done. I just wish I had a phone with a good camera. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That's the dream, but I acknowledge and accept it just might not work out like that. Do you usually answer your texts? Almost always. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yes. Who has seen you cry the most? My mom, for sure. Have you ever just laid down outside and stared at the stars? Yeah, Jason and I did that one night on the trampoline. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house? In the past, yes. Think to the last person you kissed; have you ever kissed them on the ground? No. Do you have a condom in your room? No, got no use for one. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? Yes. What brand is your digital camera? Canon. Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? No; I really don't get the point. When was the last time you went tanning? Ew, never. I find NO appeal in just lying in the boiling sun. Do you like the smell of fresh cut grass? No, I hate it. Do you get embarrassed easily? Like you would not fucking believe. It's one of the things I hate most about myself, because I'm embarrassed about everything I like and what makes me me. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party? No. Do you always wear your seatbelt? Absolutely. You couldn't pay me not to. Do you sing in the shower? No. Have you ever been called a slut/whore/something along those lines? Only playfully among friends. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly/didn't even know? Yes. Have you ever fallen in love with a really good friend of yours? Yes. Do you own a blacklight? No. Do you like fruit better than vegetables? Definitely. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Of my current friends, only Girt has. If you’re straight, have you ever thought about kissing the same sex? If you’re gay, have you ever thought about kissing the opposite sex? I'm bisexual, soooo. What does your laugh sound like? Do you have a loud laugh or a quiet laugh? Bro my laugh is so fucking loud and obnoxious. Is there a reality TV show you would consider taking part in? No.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''paranoiac personality'' by alice cooper

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twinklecheeks · 5 years

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Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 2

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.

Warnings! pregnancy, abortion? mentions of sex.

Part 1

Word Count: 2.4k

Y/n doesn’t know what to do. A million scenarios were going on in your head. “What if I tell him and he doesn’t want it? What if I never tell him and I get an abortion? I mean my body, my choice, right? What if I leave youtube, pull off a Kylie Jenner and reveal it to the world when it’s born? What if I put it up for adoption? Would I choose a closed adoption or an open adoption?” As all these scenarios are running through your head, the doctor asks if you want pictures. “Ummm yeah sure.” This just feels like a nightmare to y/n. The doctor is ready to discharge you and you take an uber home. You feel a buzz in your pocket and it was a text from David. “Hey you should come over and film tonight. We’re messing around with helium and stuff that messes with your voice.” You were about to say yes until you remembered that you were with child. Helium is probably not the best for pregnancy…. “Sorry I can’t come today. Not feeling too well.” “Damn maybe tomorrow. I pulled a prank of Jason’s new tesla and I need some reactions.” “Sure, I’ll be there.” You finally arrive home and you just feel super overwhelmed. Your anxiety already fucks with you at random times and now add the pregnancy hormones, that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. You decide to text Carly and Erin in y’alls gc. They have basically been you best friends since you’ve been a part of the vlog squad but you don’t know if they’ll be pissed once you reveal your secret relationship w/ Jeff. “Heyy, can you guys come over rn? I have to tell you guys a secret and you’re the only people I can trust at the moment.” Erin: “Sure. Well be there in like an hour or so. Carly and I are filming a bit with David. Probably won’t take long.” “Okay great. See you later.” Carly reads the messages from her phone and whispers “sounds serious, what do you think she’s gonna tell us?” “I don’t know. Just hope she isn’t dying or something.”

You say to yourself, “Since Carly and Erin are gonna be here in an hour, I should get pregnancy tests from the store. Just hope no fans recognize me.” You try to dress incognito and you remembered you had some expensive ass wigs in you closet (you’re a boujee ass college student lol) Once you glue the wig on, you get in your tesla (like the tesla Carly has) and you head to target. You have your hood up and sunglasses on like you’re some sort of fbi agent or something. You head to the aisle the pregnancy tests are in and see the condoms right by there and you mumble to yourself “if you woulda just taken the time to come to target and buy those, you wouldn’t be in this mess you dumb bitch.” You grab a couple of the electronic pregnancy tests cause like my bio says “i radiate dumb bitch energy.” You get home, take off the wig and read the text that says they’re 5 minutes away.

*Carly and Erin pov*

“How much you wanna bet that she has a thing for someone in the squad.” “CARLY.”

*Y/n pov*

You hear a knock at the door “heyyy” you say in an awkward tone. Erin sees the hospital bracelets on your wrist. “Oh god you are dying” Y/n: “ERIN WHAT THE- NO ARE YOU CRAZY” All of you head to the couch and you have a hard time telling them so you say it really fast “SooooIjustfoundouti’mpregantandyou’regonnabeauntsmaybe.” Carly didn’t catch any of that but all Erin heard were the two big words. Both of them start screaming out stuff like “YOU’RE PREGNANT” “WHAT” “WHO’S IS IT.” Y/n: “Okay okay okay. I’m gonna tell you guys everything.” So you ended up telling them the saga of you and Jeff’s relationship. Carly: “ITS. JEFF’S.” Y/n:“That’s all you have to say?” Erin: “You have to take another test. This can’t be right.” You go to the bathroom and 5 minutes later, the test says ‘pregnant.’ Erin: “ummm how about you go to a doctor so they can run some tests.” Y/n:“I already got a blood test done in the ER. Nothing is more accurate than a blood test.” Carly: “when are you due.” Y/n:“Early April I think.” Erin:“So you’re not gonna make it to my wedding?” Y/n:“Oh shit you get married in April. Dammit.” Carly: “So what are you gonna do?” Y/n:“I honestly have no idea. I just feel like he’s gonna deny everything and say its not his. He’s the only guy I’ve been sleeping w/ since New Years.” Erin: “well, whatever you decide, we’ll support you. Hopefully I’ll have a newborn baby to be my ring bearer or flower girl.” You smiled just thinking about that. Before you knew it, It started to get dark and both of them left. You didn’t want to be alone tonight, so you decided to facetime one of your other best friends. Y/n:“Hey Stass. You wanna have a girl’s night? Stassie: Sorry, I’m already having a girl’s night at Kylie’s house. You hear Kylie yell in the background “YOU CAN COME TO MY HOUSE.” Y/n: “Thanks, I’ll be there in a bit.” Two years ago, you would’ve never thought that you’d be friends with Kylie Jenner. You two hit it off when she invited the vlog squad to a roller rink to celebrate her becoming a billionaire.

You arrived at her mansion, finding both of them upstairs sitting on the floor in the nursery, playing with Stormi. You’re thinking about telling Kylie and ask her for advice. She’d completely understand; she had a baby at 20 and the whole world had eyes on her not knowing whether she was or wasn’t pregnant. You don’t mind if Stass knows because she helped keep Kylie’s pregnancy a secret, so you know she won’t tell anyone. Y/n:“I have to talk to you guys about something.” Kylie: “Sure. About what?” Y/n:“I’m pregnant.” Kylie and Stass: “YOU’RE WHAT.” Y/n:“Why is it so surprising that I’m pregnant.” Kylie: “who’s is it.” Stass: “it’s probably Jeff’s.” Your eyes go wide as she said that, Stass: “and just by the look on your face, you just confirmed it.” Kylie: “is Jeff the fit one with the New York accent?” “Yeah.” Kylie: “Ooooo he’s hot. So what about pregnancy did you wanna talk about?” Before you ask about pregnancy, you had to tell the whole saga for the second time today. Y/n:“I just don’t know what I should do. How did you feel when you found out?” Kylie: “well, I was shocked at first but then I got excited. Did I plan on getting pregnant so young? No. But I know I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Yeah, motherhood came earlier than expected but I honestly can’t imagine my life without Stormi. Hiding it from the public wasn’t easy but I’m lucky that I had people I could trust to hide my secret. And if Jeff doesn’t accept the baby as his, then screw him. He’ll look like the asshole for leaving. So what do you want to do?” Y/n:“I think I want to keep it a secret but that gonna be really hard because 1. I’m a youtuber and people are gonna see me gain weight, 2. I’m a college student and I have to go on campus for classes. Stass: “Can you look and see if they’re offering online courses for the classes you need to take?” Y/n:“Probably but I don’t want to die of boredom and stay in my house all the time.” Kylie: “I didn’t stay in my house all the time. I just had a lot of security around me 24/7. I bought more cars and switched between them all the time so the paparazzi would be confused. I made sure to wear baggy clothes all the time. I really didn’t start to show that much until I was almost 5 months pregnant.” Y/n:“I’d be 5 months by the time the semester ends for winter break. Should I risk it? Kylie: “I don’t know. Every body is different.” Y/n:“Thanks for the advice Ky.” Kylie: “No problem. You can always come to me for baby advice. I can help you prep. Stormi might not be right baby to start off practicing with but you’re lucky Kim just had a baby in May.” Y/n:“Are you sure she’d be okay with you borrowing Psalm to teach me how to be a mom?” Kylie: “Are you kidding. She’d love it. She has 4 kids under 6 years old. She needs a break. Oh and when it’s time to find out the gender, you HAVE to let me plan the gender reveal and baby shower.” Y/n:“haha okay.” Kylie then takes a vid of y’all playing with Stormi and posts it on her insta story captioning it ‘girls night❤️’

You wake up the next morning not feeling great at all. Kylie: “Drink ginger ale or really bitter lemonade. It helped me with my morning sickness.” Y/n:“Thanks. I should get going. I have to get to class in a couple of hours. I’ll text you later.” Kylie & Stass: “call us as soon as you figure out what you’re gonna do” Y/n:“k, bye”

Y/n talking to herself while driving home:

It probably wasn’t the best decision telling 4 people that I’m pregnant cause I’m not past the 1st trimester yet but I just couldn’t keep it in. I had to vent to someone! I’m scared of telling Jeff but I’m 1000x times more scared of telling my parents. When should I tell them? I mean, I’m flying to Seattle next month for a couple days for my moms birthday…. is that a bad time to tell them both?? I mean, my mom has been begging for grandchildren for the past couple of years. There was one time in high school where I was typing an essay in my room and my mom randomly comes in and says “mija, cuando tu tienes un hijo, nombrarlo después de mí” like who tf says that to a 17 year old? What was I gonna do today? I have class later but- Oh shit. I said I was going to David’s today to film a prank reaction. I hope I don’t have to be in the same clip as Jeff. Luckily your class is only an hour long and so you got home, quickly showered and went to class.

As you got out of class, you hear a ding from your phone. David: “Are you on you way?” Y/n:“Yeah I’m like 30 minutes away.” As you’re driving down David’s street, you see 4 people. David, Jason’s mom, Erin and?.... Of course it would be Jeff. You get out of your tesla and David is getting the camera ready. He opens the gate and you see Jason dressed as Carmelita, showing his genitals all over the car. Everybody is screaming. “NOOOOO OH MY GOD” Jeff: “HOW CAN YOU SHOW THAT TO HIS MOTHER?” Jason’s mom is laughing hysterically. After a couple of minutes, he stopped recording and invited us all in. You haven’t been to David’s house since the incident with Jeff but you were acting as if nothing happened. You were just acting really quiet around Jeff because you’re literally pregnant with his child and have no idea how to tell him. Jeff: “Hey y/n haven’t seen you around lately” all you said was ‘hey” while looking at your phone. Jeff: “What you’re not even gonna look at me? You think cause you’re hanging out with Kylie Jenner, you’re too good for us?” Y/n: “Us? You’re literally making no fucking sense rn, I’ve talked and hung out with everyone except you. Plus why would you care? You kicked me to the curb like I was a piece of trash. Not sorry that I wanna be treated right.” Jeff pulls you to the backyard. Y/n:“Get the fuck off me” Jeff: “why the fuck are you acting like this?” Y/n:“like what? A person who’s finally standing up for herself? I don’t need you and why would you care what i’m doing? Last thing I remember is that you’re with Natalie. I hope you treating her like an actual person, unlike how you treated me. Playing around and fucking me like I was you’re toy.” Jeff: “You consented.” Y/n:“Yeah but now I realize I was dumb as fuck saying yes so many times.” At this moment, you were contemplating whether you should just tell him. You were about to tell him until the last sentence he said left you livid. Jeff: “You said yes cause you were desperate sweetheart. You fucked like a whore. I probably wasn’t the only one you were sleeping with.” At this point, you just wanted to run him over with a car. You didn’t want to be the stereotypical raging Latina so all you said as you were walking away was “Goodbye Jeff.” You didn’t even turn around. Everybody in the house from David, Jason’s mom and Erin heard every single word. On the drive home you made your decision. You’re not telling Jeff it’s his and you’re raising this baby alone. Since you’re still in the first trimester, you’ll keep it to yourself just a little bit longer before you tell the rest of the vlog squad.

*One Month later*

Y/n is officially past the 1st trimester. I’m now 13 weeks. You look in the mirror and see a tiny little bump forming. You telling your parents last week wasn’t the best… Your mom was excited but disappointed; your dad couldn’t even look at you. Your older siblings stuck by you. But now that you have the biggest obstacle out of the way, you have to tell the vlog squad... I wonder how this will go...

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I’m surprised at how many people liked chapter 1! It was confusing for me switching back from saying you & y/n but I think I did better in this part. Oh and I’m not sure if I’ll be writing as much as I am in the future. I think the minimum will be 1k words but I’ll probably write more than that.

Oh and just a heads up, I’m starting school at the end of the month! I’ll try to release as many chapters as I can write in the next 3 weeks.

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @irisindigonightmare

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benthedinosaur · 4 years

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Heartbeats - A Dabi/Reader fic

You walk down the alleyway to your bar, Haven, keys jingling in your hand. Your music is blaring through your headphones, and your head bops along with it. You open the door with a click, and you walk into the dark, empty bar, and start dancing as you switch on the lights. You begin your routine, sweeping and mopping the floors, and then slam down the stools and chairs in a practiced dance, each step in perfect rhythm. At about 12, your cook, Machi Takeda, walks in. You wave at her, and hand her the breakfast you bought for her. "Hey, Machi-chan! Iwasabi is coming back today, so make sure to have our ramen stock up." She grabs the breakfast package and smiles back. "Will do, (y/n)-chan! Do you have the supplies we bought for Iwasabi-san?" She spends a few hours cooking up the food you offer, and by five pm, the doors open.

Business picks up slowly, and your first few people are the villains, as usual. Greeting them all with a smile, you sling cups of booze down your bar, and one of your regulars, Iwasabi, settles in front of you with a sigh. You pour him his drink, and set it in front of him. "Got out of jail quickly this time, eh?" He looks up at you with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, somebody posted bail." You pretend to look surprised. "What a coincidence! Also, Matsui gave me this for you." You pull out a box of baby supplies from under the bar, and handed it to Iwasabi, who stared down at the box in disbelief. "Yeah, yeah. He was the one who arrested you and all that, but it was in order to get the money for this. And you know how it is, can't be too friendly outside of here." Iwasabi blinked up at you, his fingers elongating randomly, the only sign of his inward relief. His voice cracked as he began to speak, and he faltered and tried again. "T-thank you. I...we are thankful." You grin down at him as you polish one of the glasses. "Don't mention it. We take care of our own." "Hear, hear!" A slightly drunken patron cries out in agreement, raising his glass in your direction.

You chuckle, and turn back to Iwasabi. "Any food today?" "Yeah, I'll take some ramen." You call his order out to Machi, and within minutes a steaming bowl of ramen is in front of him. He begins to eat, and you walk off to take care of the other patrons. Regulars revolve in and out, heroes and villains alike, and everyone greets each other with a smile. Food and booze and camaraderie fill the bar, and you swirl through the building, grinning and joking with everyone you see. The night is going great, and then trouble hits. You were talking with a hero, Shimmer, about her new job offer and cracking jokes with her, when a new customer, a villain, but barely more than a petty criminal, really, starts getting louder. “Why the hell do we let heroes in here? They get all the space they want, we deserve this bar!” Your grin gets strained, and you quiet. “Excuse me, Masuda-san, it seems I am needed elsewhere.”

You turn and walk over to the villain. His angry voice just gets louder the closer you get. “Every day, we are beaten down, suppressed, killed by these heroes! We deserve a space just for us!” He is getting bigger, wolf-ish teeth sprouting from his jaw. You grab his shoulder. “Sir, I need you to calm down.” He shakes you off and turns to you. “You. Where is the owner? I want to talk to him.” A hushed silence falls over the rest of the bar, and it feels like the building itself holds its breath.

You look at him, unimpressed. He glares down at you, and grabs your jaw with his newly emerged claws. “Did you hear me, bitch? Take off those ugly-ass headphones, and listen to me!” There is a clatter, as several bar stools fall to the ground from patrons jumping to your defense. You chuckle and raise a hand, signaling for them to sit back down. You look up and grab the man’s hand, and rip it off of your jaw. “I am the owner.” He laughs. “You’re the owner? Then tell me, why are there heroes here? They are against us, so why do you let them in?” You glare up at him, grip tightening on his hand. “Here in Haven, there are no villains or heroes. There are patrons, and there are non-patrons. I usually have a three strike rule, but you pushed too far. That means you are now a non-patron.” He stares down at you in disbelief. You smirk, and turn on your battle playlist and grab his empty beer bottle by the neck. “Now, you have ten seconds to leave on your own, or I will… escort you out.” He yells, and lunges at you. You sigh. “Guess it’s the hard way.”

You flip the bottle, and catch it by the neck again, and bash the butt against his head, sending a pulse through the glass, shattering it on contact. He staggers backwards and clutches at his head. “You crazy bitch!” He runs toward you, claws out, and clearly out for your head. The beat of the song moves through you, and your limbs thrum with power. You grin, and slide under him, through his legs. You spring off a soundwave from your foot, and land on his back, tackling him to the ground. He rolls over, and takes a swipe at you, and catches your side. You huff. “Now you’re really pissing me off.” You grit your teeth, and stomp your foot down, releasing a soundwave that knocks him off his feet, and then you lean down and flick his forehead, knocking him out with another small soundwave. You lean back, and notice the blood dripping down your side, and then when you flip off your music, you realize that the bar has started moving again, and Dumbbell drags the man out of the bar, and dumps him a few buildings away. Machi rushes out towards you, hands outstretched and ready to heal. You accept it, and then call out, “Hey, someone arrest that asshole next time you see him. He insulted my headphones.”

The bar bursts out in laughter, and everyone goes about their business. Machi looks down at you in concern. “(y/n)-chan, you have to be more careful. You could’ve gotten really hurt in that fight!” “Ah, it’s fine. Takes a lot to keep me down.” You chuckle, and stand up again. “Still…” Machi holds out a hand. “You should be more careful. I’ll get you some soup, and then you can get back to work.” “Alright, fine.”

You sit down next to Shimmer, and lean into her. The warmth radiated from her shimmering body soothes your aching muscles, an unfortunate side effect of your quirk. You slide right back into the conversation. “So, twilight, are you gonna accept the offer?” She glares at you and pinches your arm. “I hate it when you call me that. But, yeah I am.” She looks you over, hesitantly. “I’m gonna miss it here.” You sigh, and Machi brings over your soup. You slurp it gratefully, the salty broth warming your stomach and boosting your energy. “Well, you will only be a train ride away.” She sighs again, mirroring you. “I suppose you are right. Still…” You gently knock her arm. “You aren’t gonna stop coming to karaoke, right?” She gasps, mock horrified. “I would never!” You laugh, and finish your soup. “I’m gonna get back to work. See ya later, Masuda.”

The rest of the night passes without incident. People file out, and the bar closes at four am. You sweep and mop again, and put the chairs up. Music plays from your headphones, but your energy is gone, and there is no dancing. You lock up, and walk down the alleyway to your apartment. You walk into your apartment, and your cat weaves itself through your legs, meowing plaintively at you. You chuckle and feed him, and spend some time scrolling through your phone. A news alert flashes across the screen. “League of Villains attacks jail, breaks out the dangerous-” You swipe away the notification. Whatever happens with the world is not your business. Your life is the bar, and that’s about it. As you fall asleep, you think about karaoke night with Machi, Masuda, and Okamoto, and the going away present you will have to get Masuda. After you fall asleep, another notification pops up on your phone. “Dabi, from the League of Villains, is in your area. Stay safe and report any sightings immediately.”

#bnha #dabi #dabi/reader #dabi x reader #reader #reader insert #crossposted from ao3 #bar au #reader has a quirk

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izayoichan · 4 years

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Rylan takes Lobo with him, calling his dad, asking him to come pick him up and help him get some gifts, looking at Lobo with a smile.

“According to dad, your kind likes this way of travel, hopefully, he is right”

River, on the other hand, does like Rylan told him, and messages his mom while he waits for the train. She calls him, which means he gets around 15 minutes of his mom yelling at him over him sneaking out and disobeying her. Once she gets tired of yelling he finally speaks.

“Can I still spend Christmas with my boyfriend or am I grounded?”

There is a complaint on the other side followed by a fairly unhappy:

“Okay, you can” “Thanks... My train has arrived, I'll call you later.”

Hanging up his phone, he hurries so he catches the train, finding a seat by the window, waiting for it to take him where he wants to be.

“Okay, that's all of it.”

He smiles at his dad, the three off them vanishing and reappearing outside his home.

“Just need to wrap it all, come on Lobo, you'll have to be introduced to the house overlord.”

Chuckles, taking the large dog with him to introduce him to Felix, hoping the two off them will get along.

River sighs his train stopped in Windenburg due to their being reindeer on the tracks, stressing slightly as it means that he might not make it. Taking up his phone, quickly messaging Rylan.

“Train is delayed, stuck in Windenburg. But I'll be there in time for dinner, maybe? Do you guys celebrate Christmas eve or just Christmas day? I never get that.”

Rylan looks at the message, having an idea, messaging him quickly while at the same time walking to see if he can find the person who would need to agree to do it.

“I can ask if Hayle can pick you up if you want, travel by dragon flight? Oh and a bit of both, but mostly tonight with opening gifts and such..” “That would be awesome! Just try not to scare the train driver.”

Erased the part of the message where he complained about having already spent the rest of his savings on the train ticket before he sends the message, getting off the train quickly. Walking up to his dad, he notices Felix sitting there with him.

“Hey dad, could you do me a favor and pick up River in Windenburg? The train is stuck there, something about reindeer on the tracks.”

He notices Felix come walking, looking at Lobo, then ignoring Lobo

“Well.. that went decently.”

He lets Lobo off the leash so he can wander around the house getting to know it. Felix following him around as if making sure he doesn’t do anything bad.

“Oh, sure. He would just have to find somewhere a bit hidden, then I'll find him.” "Thanks, I don't quite want the reaper portal thing to be sprung on him just yet.”

Picks up his phone and messages him.

“My dad is on his way, just find somewhere a little hidden and he will be able to find you, sorry I didn't suggest it earlier, not quite used to my dad letting anyone but us on his back.”

“Okay, on the alleyway next to the station.” “He should be there in no time, so see you soon.“

Waves at his dad as he flies off, knowing he doesn’t really use much time when he has no passengers. River sits on a box waiting, playing games on his phone when he is suddenly interrupted by a police officer.

“Hey kid, what are doing back here?”

River looks at the man and gets up, cursing under his breath, this was really not what he needed right now.

“Huh... waiting for my friend." “Back here? What's in the bag."

He takes out the package and shows him, internally begging for Hayle to show up, knowing just how this normally ends. Hayle flying quite high above, finding River simply by his smell, noticing someone else there with him landing out of sight, and for the first time in more years than he can remember, changes into his fully human form.

“Ah, there you are River, sorry it took so in that last store, and they still did not have it...”

He smiles at River and the police officers.

“Perfect, I see you at least got your’s that's good.”

He looks at the police officer.

“Is there a problem?” " Mister Hayle?...”

He is at first surprised to see him without his horns, or scales then rushes to him past the police officer

“Sorry, just wondering what a child was doing alone in the alleyway. Good to see you have adult supervision, no need to take you to the station, I will, however, still want to see that package!”

Holds out his hand for the package

“Come on, it's wrapped! I had...”

starts becoming honestly distressed, as he looks for the receipt.

“See, I bought it today, it's a DnD set it's for boyfriend I” “I need to check it for drugs... “

Takes the package from his hands and rips the wrapping off then shakes the DnD box in front of them, almost as if mocking them. River looking on horrified, magical energy starts lifting up, becoming clearer he is going to zap the officer.

Hayle shakes his head, noticing the magical surge in River as the police officer keeps acting like a douche, putting a hand on Rivers's shoulder. His magic suddenly dissipating, Hayle's magic field nulling his.

“So let me get this right, you are accusing my son's boyfriend of having drugs in a D&D box... am I understanding this right? If I am, I would like your name, your badge number, and the name of your superior officer so I can make an official complaint about your behavior.”

Although his voice is calm, there is something about him, in general, that would make almost anyone's skin crawl slightly.

“So, I suggest you give that back, and walk away, or I can promise you this won't end well for you.”

The police officer flinches standing back, suddenly immensely frightened by the man in front of him. Quickly shoves the box back into River's hands.

“Sorry, sir! No need for that! It won't happen again!”

He walks away very quickly leaving the two behind, River just staring at the box and knees down picking the ruined wrapping and ribbon he had so much work making perfect his body starts trembling like he's about to cry. Hayle kneeling down putting an arm around him.

“Hey, it's okay, we can stop by somewhere and get new paper and a ribbon. I'm sorry I wasn't here faster, I thought people like him only existed in movies my husband has made me watch.”

River holds his breath and gets up, clearly holding back the tears.

“I-its okay... “

Puts the box inside the bag alongside the ruined ribbon and sighs

“I... I don't want to be a bother. I already made you take human form and... Calm my magic I don't want to bother further.” “You are not a bother River, and it's kinda nice to take the full human look on occasion.

Put’s his arm around River's shoulders.

“So, where do we get paper and ribbon, want to go to another town maybe, or should we mock the policeman by getting it here?

smiles gently at him, hoping to undo what that asshat has done. A part of him still wanting to scare the hell out of him before leaving, knowing his dragon form would do just that. He also knows what his husband would think off it if he did.

River looks up at him and smiles nodding.

“There must be some store nearby with wrapping paper. If no, I can always use a newspaper sheet. Won't look as fancy as the paper that that idiot ruined but... Or just a pretty Christmas bag, that can work too.” “Well come on, let's see what we can find, who knows, maybe we can find something randomly extra for my husband, to actually surprise him. He is horrible with gifts, he always finds them and manages to guess what is in them.”

Pulls River with him out into the street, looking around, noticing what he guesses is some sort of book store.

“Ah, there, they have to have stuff like that there.”

Vy sits close to the window looking outside to the snow, licking his lips in anticipation of the tasty treats to come.

“Ice in cakes? Is it good?” “Yeah, it's macaroon, small flat cakes, with icecream slices in the middle, you can try one if you want?”

Looks at Vy, letting his mind wander slightly, the many what if's that he keeps asking himself playing on his mind.

“Can I?”

He looks at the food that gets delivered as they talk, then picks one macaroon up and smells it with curiosity, finally takes a bite, taking in the taste, let's go of a small chirp.

“Tasty! I like it!”

Hayden chuckles, just watching Vy taste the cookies.

“It's fascinating how they can make them, warm cookies, cold ice cream. Now, you need to taste your cake. Oh and the coffee!”

Vy licks his fingers to get all the sugary goodness of the macaroon and nods

“Do you want to... oh... it's true, warm... They need to make a pistachio ice cream cake! That way the two of us can eat it because it's cold! Though, I like these macaroons”

Grabs his cake slice and coffee, and takes a bite of cake, chirps louder, making people look around for a bird. Covers mouth giggling.

“Sorry, just! gooood!”

Hayden chuckles as people turn their heads looking for a random bird in the cold. “Hmh... well you know they do make things if you ask. We should ask, so we can share someday. And I can eat cake, even if it's not cold, just not warm coffee.”

He smiles honestly just enjoying watching Vy be happy and enjoying the cake and for at least a short while, not worrying about the people around him. Vy smiling at him, actually glowing green as he takes a piece of cake and holds it out for Hayden.

“Try!” “ Wow... that is really sweet, but still good”

finding himself chewing on the many layers of taste from the cake, the frosting and everything surprising him along the way. Vy nodding eating a bit more and drinking the coffee

“It is very nice here. Cozy and nice! Thank you for bringing me here! How much is the cake?” “Ehm... I didn't really check, why? You want one more?” “We could take some for your parents and Rylan but I don't know if I have enough.” “Oh... how about we just buy a cake and share it after dinner? We could split the cost, or I can just pay for it?”

He notices Vy looking through his money, figuring he might not have enough money Vy looking up at him and nods happily.

“Yes! But... I only have... 5 simoleons...I need to make new trinkets to sell in caster's alley.” “Hmh.. how about we get a cake, you pay five simoleons I pay whatever is left, then it's from both of us right? I think they would love to have that as a surprise.”

“ Okay. I pay 5!” “Okay, I'll go order one, and we can finish our tasty treats while they pack it and make it ready? If you are okay to sit here for just a little while I order?”

He did notice how he shrank a bit when they entered, not wanting to just leave him there if he didn't feel safe.

🎶

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elevatorsnot-worthy · 5 years

Text

Just A Little Chaotic (Chapter 4)

CHAPTER 4 - FLASHBACK, FORGET IT.

Description: Alison, a singer-songwriter and an actress, finds herself in a middle of a chaotic set up with two of her cast mates. One’s a new face and one’s an old friend.

Pairings: Chris Evans x OFC x Sebastian Stan

Just A Little Chaotic (All Chapters)

Author’s Note: There’s more of Sebastian in this chapter. ;)

2004. I’m in my second year of college and I was on the verge of breaking down. I was so stressed with college, and I was always reminded that I was not enough. The voice of my professor telling me that I will never reach anything kept replaying back on my head. I sat on the window sill as I watched the view of New York and its busy people. I was alone in my room, or that’s what I thought.

“Hey, wanna grab some food?” Sebastian swung my bedroom door open. He looked like he had a bad day. His hair was extremely messy, his shirt was a little wrinkled, and his face got and extra pout. Sebastian has been living with us for 8 months now and ever since he moved in, he and I became closer. Even though he was friend with my brother, initially.

“You okay?” I hugged my legs to my chest and Sebastian walked in. He was shaking his head as he sat beside me.

“I’m just tired,” He just facepalmed himself and sighed. “Anyway, it seems like you’re not in a good mood too. So, let’s go get some food.” Seb stood up and reached out to me.

“But I don’t wanna go out,” I said softly. Sebastian looked at me and took a deep breath. He placed his hands on my cheeks and kissed my forehead.

“Alright, I’ll buy some food and some beer,” he offered. “Then we’ll watch some Star Wars, sounds good?”

Halfway through the movie, both Seb and I were tipsy and full of Chinese food. I rested my head on the throw pillow that was propped on Sebastian’s lap. Watching movies in the living room has been a regular occurrence every time one of us had a bad day.

“You’re a good guy, Sebastian.” I randomly said to him. “Thanks for all of this.” I gestured to the empty bottles of beer filled the floor and Chinese take out boxes filled the coffee table in front of us.

“I just don’t want to see you sad, Ali.” Sebastian’s response threw me off. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or it was really my emotions. “Anything for you.” My heart skipped a beat at his voice. This can’t be, Sebastian’s my friend. Sebastian’s just my friend. I felt drawn to him all of a sudden and I sat up. Sebastian’s gaze was fixed to the TV, but his cheeks were red.

“Hey,” I whispered at him and he slowly turned to me. I can’t even recall how it started but I remembered how it felt. Sebastian’s lips found mine and he was on top of me. It felt wrong, but I can’t help it. What the fuck am I doing? My heart was melting with his kisses. Sebastian breathes heavily as he kisses me more. As soon as we heard the main door open, Sebastian leaped up and I quickly sat up.

“Everything alright?” It was my twin brother, Adam. It seems like he didn’t see me and Sebastian practically eating each other’s faces a few seconds ago.

“Yeah, we thought there was a bug.” I muttered my stupid excuse, but Adam looked like he believed it though. “We’ll never talk about that ever again.” I hissed at Sebastian.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing.” He said with his hands up.

“Correct, it’s nothing.” I assured. To this day, Sebastian and I never mentioned that moment, but I know we both remember it.

I was on the way to the airport to kickstart my tour in San Francisco. It has been two and a half weeks since my date with Chris and I can’t wait for the next one. Chris called me earlier to say good luck, but he had to go since he was also on his way to shoot his new movie. I was about to take a nap but my phone rang again. It was Sebastian.

“Hey, why are you ignoring me?” Sebastian’s tone was filled with concern. Oh shit, I totally forgot to reply to him.

“Hey Seb, I’m sorry. I was busy. Right after Avengers, I went back straight to rehearsals.” I told him.

“It’s okay, Ali. I understand.” Sebastian sounded a little sad then he cleared his throat and continued to talk. “Anyway, I want to just say good luck and I am so proud of you. I bought tickets to your San Diego show, and I can’t wait to see you.” Sebastian’s voice was filled with enthusiasm. A wave of energy hits my body.

“Wait, what?” I muttered in disbelief. “But I thought you’re back in New York?”

“Yeah, I’ll fly to San Diego to see you.” He said matter-of-factly. “I was supposed to see you on your first show, but I had to go back in New York for work – come on Al, it’s like I haven’t done outrageous things for you.” I rolled my eyes in response.

“Alright, alright! We better get drinks right after, okay?” I said before I get to remember the shenanigans we did before.

“Of course! I gotta go now, I’m gonna be late. I’ll see you in a few days, Ali-bear!” He chimed.

“See you, Sebby-boy.” I said, and he ended the call. My brother, who was sitting beside me, turned to me with a face of disgust.

“You’re still using those disgusting nicknames?” he uttered sourly.

“It’s none of your business, Adam.” I rolled my eyes at him.

***

I sang the last note for the show and as soon the set finishes, I went backstage and received a lot of congratulatory cheers from my crew. After giving everyone thanks and hugs, I immediately went back to my dressing room. I changed to a new pair of clothes, a pair of ripped jeans and a vintage Star Wars t-shirt since Sebastian and I agreed that he’ll come to me after the show. I plopped down the leather couch, as I waited for Sebastian to come here. Joelle approached me and handed me my phone that was buzzing. It was Chris.

“Hey, you called right on time.” I smiled into the phone as I answered the call.

“I got lucky,” Chris chuckled. “How was the show?”

“It was great! I almost forgot my lyrics, but I had fun.” I joked, and he laughed in response. “How about you? How was your day?”

“I was really distracted earlier, I can’t get my lines right,” He said.

“I’m guessing you have a cute leading lady?” I teased at him and he giggled.

“No, no!” His laughter got louder. “I don’t know – nevermind, it’s embarrassing.” He said.

“Come on! Tell me, please!” I pleaded like a kid asking for candy from his mom.

“Fine, fine. I’ll tell you…” Chris voice was soft. He muttered some words that I was unable to understand. He took a deep breath and continued talking. “I kept imagining that she was you and you make me nervous so, I don’t know – it’s sounds so stupid so please act like I didn’t say anything. I sound ridiculous,” as I listened to Chris rambled on, a knock on the door distracted me. I walked towards the door and slowly opened it.

“Hey, Ali-bear.” Sebastian greeted me with a wide tooth grin. I stared blankly to Sebastian’s face then to the brown teddy bear in his arms. Chris’ voice faded as I stood frozen at the door. The teddy bear was as long as Sebastian’s torso and it has a small guitar hanging from its body.

“You probably hated what I said,” Chris’ voice snapped me back to reality.

“No, I don’t. It’s actually sweet and funny,” I said softly on the phone. Sebastian’s face faded and his eyebrows furrow. “Hey, I gotta go, I’ll call you back when I get back in the hotel.” I said, and I ended the call.

“Who was that?” Sebastian asked.

“It – it was Chris,” I didn’t know why but it felt hard to answer that simple question to Sebastian.

“Oh,” Sebastian stepped back and shook his head. “Anyway, I got this for you.” Sebastian handed me the teddy bear. My lips formed in to a bright smile as I held the teddy bear in my hands. I leaped into Sebastian’s arms and gave him a hug.

“Thank you so much, Seb!” He lifted me from the ground and held me tightly.

“You were amazing, Ali. I’m so proud of you.” He whispered in to my ear as he spun me around. Sebastian gently put me back to my feet and his wide grin was back. “So, let’s go get some drinks?” he offered.

“Yeah, let’s wait for Adam,” I said.

“Oh, no. Adam’s not coming. He has a date with Eloise.” He said.

“Okay, so I guess it’s just you and me then? Just like old times?” I smiled at him.

“Just like old times.” He nodded.

We went to the nearest bar we would find. We were seated on a booth in the corner of the bar and ordered beer, chili fries, and nachos. I listened to Sebastian as he told stories of the projects he did. It was the first time we saw each other since I started filming for Avengers. It was always a joy to see Sebastian talk about his work because it shows how passionate he is in everything he does.

“What about you? How was Avengers?” he asked me then took a piece of nachos.

“It was great, I had to do some fight scenes which was very new to me, but it was hella fun!” I beamed at him.

“Did you make friends?” Sebastian asked as he took a gulp from his beer.

“Yes, dad. I made friends,” I answered him sarcastically. I lit up as Chris’ face flashed in my brain. I automatically started talking about him. “Everyone was nice. Chris was really sweet—”

“Oh, Chris Evans? Is he the guy you were talking to earlier?” Sebastian teased. He smirked at me as he ate some fries.

“Yeah, we actually went on a date.” I answered, and Sebastian started coughing. “Are you okay?” Sebastian just nodded and chugged down his beer.

“I’m okay.” He said as he heaved for his breath. “You went on a date with him?”

“Yeah, Peter’s dating the girl he cheated on me with, so I think it’s just okay for me to date other people, right?” I shrugged and ate some fries.

“Yeah – no, no. You’re right, there’s nothing wrong with that.” He said softly.

“You worked with Chris, so you know that he’s a nice guy.” I told him as I watch his shoulders slowly fall.

“Yeah, he is.” Sebastian said bitterly and looked at his drink.

“Well it’s not like he’s my boyfriend already, we’re just seeing how things go since I’m still on tour.” I said, and Sebastian did not respond. “Are you okay, Seb?”

Sebastian cleared his throat and said, “Yeah, I’m okay. I just remembered that you probably have an early morning tomorrow. I probably have to bring you back to the hotel.” His voice was monotone. I didn’t understand his sudden change of mood. I used to talk to him about the guys I dated before, and he would listen. This time his reaction was different, he used to make fun of the guys I dated. Sebastian offered to walk me back to the car that was waiting outside, and I said yes, ending the night immediately. After I paid for the bill, Sebastian walked behind me. I can feel the immediate drop in him, but I can understand why.

Sebastian’s POV

I felt like a dumbass as I walked behind Alison. Why does it have to be Chris? I flew all the way from New York to San Diego just to see her. I wanted to hate at her, but I can’t. It’s Alison. My heart is too weak to even feel the slightest annoyance towards her. When we reached her car, I opened the door for her. I watched her as she climbed in. Her long brown curly hair bounced with every move she made. She looked at me with a slight frown on her face.

“Do you want a ride?” she asked me. Her brown eyes made my heart soft. It always did.

“No, I’m staying at a different hotel, it’s out of your way.” I lied.

“Okay. Take care, Seb.” She said softly.

“Take care, Alison.” I said and then I closed the car door. I watch as the car drove away from me.

I never thought I would be falling for her. She’s my best friend’s sister, for God’s sake. I tried to fight it for years, but I can never forget how my whole world stopped the moment I first laid eyes on her. Even though I dated other girls, I always find myself at her feet. I went back to the bar and ordered something stronger. Even though she said Chris was not her boyfriend, I saw how much her eyes lit up when she mentioned his name. She was like that when she was with Peter, before everything they had went to shit.

“Hey, you alright?” a blonde woman sat beside me. “You’ve been staring at your drink for a while now.”

I shook my head and responded to her, “I flew all the way from New York to tell this girl that I like her for a long time.” My words just came out due to the alcohol getting the best of me.

“I’ll guess, she already has a boyfriend?” she asked. I shook my head still not looking at the woman beside me.

“She’s talking to this guy, and I know by the end of the year he’ll be her boyfriend.” I said and took a shot of my drink. I just realized that I’ve done 6 shots. My God.

“Aren’t you going to convince her?” she asked.

“Nope, I promised myself to never get in the way.” I said. I gave her some space after her breakup with Peter. I also did not want to take advantage of her vulnerability. “You know what, forget about it. I think we’re just better off as friends.” I muttered but I never meant a single word I said. I faced the woman beside me and introduced myself. “I’m Sebastian,” I reached out my hand to her.

“Heather,” she said as she shook my hand softly. She leaned into my ear and whispered, “Come on, I’ll show you a good time.”

Tag list: @everything-is-awesomesauce @supernatural-girl97

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siriuslystarbucks · 5 years

Text

Proposing Is A Great First Date

On the one hand, it seemed like a mistake to propose to Sirius when they weren't even dating. On the other hand, fuck you Moony this is a great idea.

Remus blinked at him, expression incredulous. "How is this a great idea? I don't think it's exaggerating when I say this is the worst idea you've ever had." James definitely thought that was an exaggeration, because he remembered some of his ideas at Hogwarts and they weren't gems. "Do you even fancy him?"

"He's my best mate."

"That's not the same."

"Course not, this is better."

Remus looked like he was about to scream in frustration. "James, you don't marry someone because you're friends."

"My parents say that you should be best friends with the person you marry. Sirius is my best friend, therefore-"

"No. Absolutely not. That is not what they meant."

"You know that for sure?"

"Yes! I do!"

"Now who's exaggerating? Besides, they didn't say anything about it when I told them I was going to propose."

Remus was a gaping statue at that. "I can't believe you did better than me at school. James. Do your parents know that you aren't dating?"

James blinked at him guilelessly. "Why wouldn't they? I never told them we were together."

((Read the rest below or on AO3))

"Think about it! How many married couples do you know that are 'just friends'?"

"I wouldn't know, would I? I'm not a nosy bastard." The unlike you went unsaid.

"You are so," Remus mumbled, but that wasn't the point. He rubbed his hands over his face, feeling the last traces of his patience hanging on by a spider's web. "James, I want you to do one thing for me. Just one."

"What is it?" James asked suspiciously, clearly not trusting that Remus wouldn't say 'don't propose to Sirius'.

"Tell Regulus about this. And not just that you're proposing, I want you to explain that you and his brother aren't dating."

"I don't see what's in this for me."

"If he gives you the all clear after knowing the entire situation, then go ahead and ask Sirius. I'll stop badgering you about it, solemnly swear."

"Deal."

They walked away from that agreement, both of them confident that things would turn out in their favour. Remus thought of Regulus as the most reasonable person within their group-- extended though it was these days-- and Reg had grown rather protective of his brother since they reconnected. He'd talk some sense into James, whether the Marauder liked it or not. James was confident that Regulus would agree with his reasoning for, well, the same reason as Remus. Regulus was smart and cared about Sirius, so clearly he'd agree with him. Because honestly, who was going to love Sirius better than James? Answer: no one.

James apparated home to his and Sirius's flat-- a temporary location while they looked at new houses and Potter properties alike-- and sent a floo message to Reg asking if they could meet for lunch or a cuppa.

He didn't know what Remus was freaking out over, it's not like Sirius was going to say no. At least, he didn't think he would. Sirius would get randomly commitment-phobic at times, and sad though it would be, that was a possibility for when he proposed. He really hoped that wouldn't happen, because what did people do when they got turned down in a proposal? There was no graceful way of bowing out or pretending you were fine if that happened. And what would he do with the ring? He'd already bought it, and okay honestly he'd bought the ring thinking that it would look nice on Sirius's hand, and then the jeweler asked him when he was planning on asking, and as he made up a story about who it was and how they got together, the plan to propose to Sirius formed.

A minute later, the floo roared, and Regulus stepped into the room, brushing soot from his robes. "I've got half an hour and plenty of energy to gossip; let's do this."

James was a bit surprised since he'd been thinking about meeting later today, but then he remembered that he'd forgotten to specify a time. Besides, the sooner they talked, the sooner he could propose. "Come in," James said, nodding at the kitchen table, "I'll put the kettle on." It only took a minute to flick his wand at the kettle until it was hissing, to grab the cream and sugar for the table, and to set the tea bags in mugs to steep.

"So," Regulus said, swirling the tea bag through the water by the string, "what's new?"

"I'm planning on proposing to Sirius, and Remus thinks it's a bad idea."

"Ah. So you called me to take sides?"

"Basically."

"Why's he against it?"

"He says that since we're not dating it would be stupid."

Regulus didn't react to that, just kept dragging his tea bag through the liquid as he looked at James. "You're not together?"

"No."

"Hm." He added some sugar, then went back to stirring it. "It is unusual. But," he said with a shrug, "the sort of unusual that Sirius likes being a part of."

"So you think it's a good idea?"

"I don't think it's a completely horrible one."

James grinned. "Thanks."

Regulus didn't point out that his response wasn't necessarily agreeing with James, but he was also aware that arguing wouldn't do a bloody thing. So he kept any additional feelings about it to himself and brought the mug up to his lips for a drink. "Alistair is on another level with the hippogriff shit he's been pulling, recently. Lucy's not going to take it forever, and I, for one, hope I get to be there when he gets fired."

James laughed, diving head first into the gossip like he always did when they met up.

James cleaned up the flat, making sure everything looked perfect for when Sirius got home. Which he did, a few minutes after James finished and was contemplating if he had the time to clean the ceiling fan. He'd decided that he did, which meant that right as Sirius walked in, James was putting a chair under the fixture about to step up.

"Are we having a dinner party?" Sirius asked, looking around the spotless flat.

"A dinner party with a guest list of two: you and me."

"Isn't that true every night?"

"Yeah, but tonight's special."

"How so?"

"You'll see," James said with a wink.

"I'm not very good at waiting," Sirius warned, but there was a smile on his face that meant he was excited for whatever James had planned.

James put the chair back at the kitchen table and dusted it off even though there was nothing there. "Well we won't have a problem then will we? Food should be here in twenty minutes."

"And you're not going to tell me what all this is about until after we eat."

"You need to take a shower before then, it'll be like no time at all has passed before you know." It would also give James the time to retrieve the ring and dress in something proposal worthy.

However, James found all of his clothes markedly unworthy, and was dressed in the same thing when Sirius got out of the shower, as he had been when Sirius got in. Oh well, it's not like Sirius's answer was dependent on how nice he looked. He walked out of the loo dressed only in boxers and still toweling off his hair, and James's heart beat harder in his chest.

"I hope you realise that I'm giving up a lot to dress in anything other than sweats to your special dinner."

"Our special dinner," James corrected. In his failure to find a new wardrobe, he'd forgotten to retrieve the ring, and it would be suspicious for him to grab it now.

There was a knock on the door, and James left to go answer it. He set the food on the table and started unpacking it, only knowing that Sirius had arrived when arms circled around his waist and Sirius's chin rested on his shoulder. "Ooo Indian, you're spoiling me." He pressed a kiss to James's cheek, making him feel warm inside.

"You deserve it."

Sirius laughed, walking around towards the table and sitting down. "You are great for my ego, I hope you know that."

"We get along pretty great, don't we?"

"Er yeah Jamie, that's why we're best mates."

"Well yes, but have you ever thought that maybe we should do more than share a flat together?"

"I thought we were planning on moving to a house soon. Does that count?"

"You know what I mean."

"I really don't." Sirius opened one of the cartons and dug in. "Perhaps you should enlighten me?"

"Will you marry me?"

Sirius froze. He finished chewing and set his food down. He looked at James like he was expecting for him to laugh and say 'just joking'. "We're not a couple."

"I know, but what does that matter?"

"What does it- James! People get married when they're so in love that they can't bear to spend the rest of their life without them."

"That's how I feel about you," James replied.

"You're in love with me?"

"I- well I love you, isn't that enough?"

"Not for a marriage."

"You're saying no."

Sirius covered his face with his hands. "Of course I'm saying no. James, you can't just ask me to marry you when we still have the opportunity to meet other people and fall in love."

James swallowed thickly. "I guess I should have listened to Remus then huh."

Sirius froze, then dropped his hands. "You talked to Remus?"

"Yeah, wanted to know if he'd be happy for us. It was stupid," James said, pushing himself back from the table, "I never should have-" He stopped when Sirius grabbed his arm.

"Did Remus say anything about-" Sirius cleared his throat "-me?"

James blinked. "Well I mean, we were talking about my idea, so a little bit yeah. Why?"

"Nothing, forget about it," he said, dropping his hand, but James didn't move.

"No no no, why did you ask that? What were you afraid Remus told me?"

Sirius cleared his throat again, and when he talked it was quiet. "That I'm in love with you. That I have been since we were fourth years running around Hogwarts together. He- Remus, he always thought I should tell you. Guess if I had we could've avoided this..." he trailed off trying to think of a word to accurately describe what just happened, but he couldn't so he remained silent.

"Oh."

"I'm not really that hungry, thanks for it though, it tastes great," Sirius said, rushing from the table and past James towards his room, closing the door resolutely behind him.

There was a single, very awkward day in which they avoided each other and only glimpsed each other once as James was scrounging about for food, and Sirius was headed on his way out. James thought about it and figured out what he was feeling, then sat on the couch and waited for Sirius to get home. It took a ridiculously long time in his opinion. How long did Sirius need to be out and about anyways? There weren’t people more interesting than him, after all.

It's not like James was impatient or anything, but the beautiful speech he'd planned-- talking about their many years of friendship and how James hadn't been able to realise that it was love love he felt until he'd heard Sirius say it-- went out the window. It felt like the timing was no longer perfect and that annoyed him, so when Sirius came home, he just sorta threw the ring at him and said, "I love you too, you prat. If we have a long engagement we can get through all the dating milestones before the wedding."

With a fumbling hand, Sirius caught the ring box, peeking it open. "You... bought me a ring."

"Well I wasn't bloody well going to propose without one, was I? And by the way," he said, getting to his feet and walking over to Sirius, "if anyone asks, you said yes the first time I asked."

"Technically I haven't said yes yet."

"I know you want to date, so we might as well save ourselves the time and start planning the wedding."

"I don't think this is how relationships go," Sirius commented, but he put the ring on his finger and admired the way it looked. "We haven't even had our first kiss."

"We've kissed before."

"Drinking games don't count."

"Now's the perfect time to fit one in that does count."

Sirius fisted a hand in James's shirt and pulled him forward, sealing their mouths together like he never intended to let go.

"The next time you jerk me around like that," Sirius growled, "I will kill you. When I say 'I love you', you say it back. Let's try. James, I love you."

"Aww you love me? That's so cute, my fiance-"

"I am going to bloody kill you."

#prongsfoot #fanfic #sirius black #james potter #marauders #my writing

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latefebruarymistake · 3 years

Text

background.

I guess to understand what got me to this point I have to talk about how all this anxiety and depression came about.

it’s a mixture of things; not being very pretty, bullied as a kid, sexual assault, weight gain, fake friends and picking all the wrong guys.

I've always been an ugly duckling. growing up people commented on my sports skills and my studious endeavors, but never about my looks like a lot of the other girls. thinking back i would say it’s weird to have adults comment on attractiveness of children but that would then translate to the schoolroom when the most popular kids were always considered “the prettiest/most handsome” by the adults.

i never noticed i wasn’t as pretty as the other girls till i got to middle school. my mother just removed me from public school to get me away from the friends she considered “troubled” and put me into a catholic school in the area. i was in the 6th grade.

it was a small school. and i can’t stress this enough how small it was. by the time i graduated from this school in the 8th grade, there was only 8 kids in my grade.

i've been a life long introvert and making friends has always been hard for me to do. i joined the sports team in school to help. two girls in particular in the grade above me, E and T, were the popular girls. T was the prettiest girl in the grade and knew it. E was the star of the both volleyball and basketball team. both had enough mean girl energy it would make Regina George blush. and for whatever reason, once I got to 7th grade, i was someone they needed to bully. i played both volleyball and basketball. my coaches started to notice how good I was at volleyball in particular. E didn’t like that. so i slowly noticed i would picked on by E during practice and T in school. the most hurtful of all of it was the bullying i got from T. the two types of bullying she put me through were either getting my friends to turn on me or pretending the boys “liked” me. i could talk about the times T would tell my friends some bogus rumor to get them to stop talking to me for days, sometime weeks, without provocations. i would have to eat my lunch in the classroom because all my friends refused to talk to me. but my friends would eventually find out it was a lie and it was back to normal for a few weeks and the whole scenario would start all over again. one situation during that 7th grade year has still stuck with me to this day. T found out from one of my friends that i had a crush on a boy named A. He was the most popular boy in school so i wouldn't be surprised if all the girls had a crush on him. that weekend the school had a dance scheduled for all the students, all 30 of us in the grades 6th-8th. the monday before the dance A randomly walked up to me before basketball practice and asked me to be his girlfriend. it came out of nowhere but being a typical 12 year old girl i said yes. immediately i thought about all the cds i was gonna burn for him. this was the first boy to every ask me to be his girlfriend. i was on cloud 9. that friday night at the dance A and i met there and it was very awkward. i hung out with friends while A was just being really standoffish towards me. everytime i asked A to dance with me he just blew me off. and he would do it in front of every one. it was pretty embarrassing. on monday during recess i tried to ask A what was going on and in front all the students he told me the only reason why he asked me to be his girlfriend was because T dared him to. he didn’t actually like me and didn’t want me to be his girlfriend. “you're not pretty. I don’t like you.” i. was. devastated. those four words still hurt me.

i had two more bullies the next year. remember earlier when i told you my graduating class only had 8 students? well, only 3 of them were girls. me.....and my two bullies, T2 and A2. they did everything T and E did, but also sprinkled in some physical bullying too. one time during gym class we were playing hockey and T2 and A2 kept purposely missing the ball and high sticking me really hard in the knees and shins. they made me to bleed. my gym teacher noticed and locked us three in a room together and wouldn’t let us out till we figured it out. all they did was tell me how annoying i was and that it wouldn’t stop till I “stopped being annoying”. that year something happened. i know to really explain how it affected me later in life, it will have to be a post in itself. but tl;dr I was sexually assaulted by a classmate. it happened while at the guy’s house. me, T2 and the guy were all partners in the science project. the guy also happened to be T2′s cousin. after it happened I found out that he was dared to do this by T2. we were both 13 years old. and this situation just added to T2 and A2 barrage of bullying and by the end of the year it is an understatement to say i was ready to get out. and to make it worse, i blamed myself for what happened. i'm sure in my rambling this situation will come up and i will make another post going into more detail about it. but it took me a while to even be able to talk about it, let alone finally say it wasn’t my fault.

after graduating from catholic school, i was preparing for high school, and especially getting ready to try out for the high school volleyball team. over the summer while at a basketball camp, i torn my meniscus in my knee. after surgery and not being able to walk, in one summer i gained almost 50 pounds. i walked into a brand new school, knowing no one with an added weight of a toddler to my body and i couldn’t do the one thing i wanted to, play volleyball. body image issues ensued that i’m still dealing with to this day. i found few friends, mostly after becoming an athletic trainer but i mostly stuck to the nerd group of kids as my friends.

my junior year of school is when i lost my virginity. i didn’t expect it to happen because i still wasn’t a member of the pretty club. but for weeks before a sophomore football player, K, was flirting with me while at practice together. K would make it a point to come to me to get water and would whisper cute things to me. one day, we had a bad weather day and school was unexpectedly cancelled. K texted me and asked me to go over to his house to watch a movie. he didn’t live that far from me and my parents were at work so i didn't think anything of it. when i got there we watched “13 going on 30″. afterwards we had sex. it was painful and lasted less than 5 minutes. i bled EVERYWHERE. i was so embarrassed. K seemed so angry at me for bleeding. afterwards we talked and he told me he said didn’t want a girlfriend. the next day, he completely ignored me. K stopped talking to me, even though we had two classes together. he pretended like i didn’t exist. two weeks after we had sex, I found out K had a freshman girlfriend. one of his friends who felt sorry for me told me K only flirted with me because “he knew if he gave you attention, you’d let him sleep with you”. adding another absolute devastating incident to the books. another “first” wasted on a guy who didn’t actually like me.

all through high school i had a few friends. but the september after i graduated, my dad got into a really bad car accident, like really bad. he actually died twice and after they brought him back he was in the icu for two months. my father is my hero, and the fact I almost lost him really took a toll on me. i was severely depressed. when i reached out to my high school friends, their responses surprised me. most just never made time for me. one of them flat out told me no one wanted to hang out with me because i was too much of a downer. and everyone was too excited to be in college to be “brought down”. and people wonder why i no longer friends with anyone from high school. my severe depression went well into the next year.

when i was 19, i went to party with a high school “friend” who reached out to me. i didn’t want to seem like i was trying to blow her off or be a “downer” so i went to her apartment. shoulder deep into my depression, i didn’t care there were only 8 of us sharing an entire keg. or that the group of guys were doing mounds of coke on the table in the other room. i didn’t care to learn any of the guys names. i didn’t try to talk to them. all i wanted to do was get as drunk as i possible could. the couch in the living room was a futon, so i laid it down and fell asleep on it as soon as i couldn’t hold my beer cup up anymore. i woke up the next day to one of the guys sleeping next to me on the futon. we were both naked from the waist down. i immediately ran to the bathroom and my worst fears were realized when i went pee. it burned. really bad. i don’t remember a damn thing. as i walk back to the futon i tried to find a condom and found one on the floor. i. freaked. out. i silently grabbed my clothes and ran to my car. i cried all the way to Walgreens. i couldn’t have been 100% sure what happened because i was blacked out but i still bought plan b just to be sure. from that moment, i told myself no drinking. i was sober for 9 years. i also did not have sex for those 9 years either.

if you read all of that......i'm surprised. those were some of the most influential parts of my life from 11-28. i'm 33 now. i know there are a few years missing. they will come up in later ramblings. i’m sure of it. when some of my posts sound odd or seem to come out of nowhere, know that it usually always starts from here.

#me.

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indieks · 7 years

Text

Not So Randomly | Part 4/5

🌟 Pairing : Im Changkyun (I.M) x Reader

🌟 Genre : Fluff, Angst

🌟 Word count : 21k.

🌟 Synopsis : Whenever you cross the path of Im Changkyun, that guy you hate and that hates you, it seems to be the worst day of your life. But, strangely enough, it also becomes the best and most accurate of moments you've ever had. So, the more you randomly end up stucked with each other, the more a question can arise : is it really chance that has something against you, or is it serendipity that drives you one towards the other?

Previous Part .:. Next Part

🌟 A/N : FINALLYYYY! Oh my god this is so long! This is the next to last part of these series I think… I’m sorry for posting it after three weeks, but back to school has taken a lot of my time and I couldn’t write...

I'm so thankful to all of you who read this, thank you thank you thank you for appreciating my work, I'm truly happy that you like it!

Oh and yeah there’s finally a clearer appearance of the GroovyRoom producers duo here... I love khh too so I might put some of the artists as side characters in my works! And those two reaaaally suited the ones I had here hehehe

Anyway, enjoy this part, I looooved writing it! ♥

Disclaimer : any gifs or images used, even edited, are not mine and belong to their rightful owners!

***

"I'll prove it to you."

"Did you really say that to her? Wooooow Im Changkyun you're surprising me here I swear!" his best friend Jooheon exclaimed as they were sitting along with Hoseok in a café outside campus.

Changkyun sighed before blowing on his hot drink, his own words and yours turning round and round in his head since he had said them a few hours ago. He had spent the rest of the afternoon daydreaming in class, the butterflies in his stomach never ceasing to flap their wings since he had left you and the spark in his chest consuming all the energy he would have gathered to listen. He had finally said it, and he felt relieved but uneasy at the same time, as your defensive reaction prevented him from entirely releasing what had been burning for you inside of him, by a kiss he was now longing to give you.

Had he really ruined everything? Had he hurt you that deep? He hadn't realized how the weight of his words and [in]actions had buried your feelings so deep he could barely reach them anymore. However, what he came to understand by hearing you out, was that everything going wrong between the two of you was due to the lack of communication and your misunderstandings of his intentions because he hadn't spoken his mind sooner.

"Hyung, did I mess up that bad?" he finally asked as he put his head in his hands to grasp his hair hardly.

Then, he covered it with the hood of the sweater he had passed on before going out with his hyungs, as walking around in the chic outfit had become unbearable, the memories it brought seeming to stick to his skin.

"I don't think you messed up" Hoseok started, but when he earned a suspicious look from Jooheon he changed his use of words. "Well, maybe you did a little, you've been pretty harsh with her just because you had no guts. Buuuut I've seen her look at you all the time when we're around her in campus, and even if she says she doesn't, I'd bet my life she still likes you."

"I think you're going to die then" Changkyun chuckled, laughing sadly at how small his chances seemed to be.

"Ayyyy don't think like that, you just need to fight a little that's all" Jooheon interfered, grabbing his best friend's shoulder and shaking him gently to cheer him up. "You don't know what to do because it's your first time, lil' boy!"

Changkyun pushed his hand away and shot him an annoyed glare.

"As if both of you are experts anyway..." he scoffed before drinking a sip of his coffee.

"Well why are you asking us for help then?" Hoseok pointed with a sly smile, his chin comfortably in the palm of his hand.

"Aish I'm getting a headache and I don't need this. Imma sort this out alone I think!"

"All I can advise you is : go after her, don't give up, and... if you never try you never know" Hoseok shrugged, before putting his straw in his mouth.

"This might sound a bit cheesy-" Jooheon started.

"You're cheesy" his two friends cut him before laughing, amazed at their synchronization.

"Ya! I'm not! I tend to be romantic okay, and that's different!" he protested, his eyes going big and his mouth wide open in outrage.

"Yeah sure... Anyway you were saying?" Changkyun smiled, holding his cup close to him.

"I was saying you should just follow your heart, whatever it says, because look at how things turned when you listened to your dumbass brain" Jooheon stated, poking the youngest's head before crossing his arms.

Changkyun looked at him for a few seconds, processing the words he had just heard and as he saw Hoseok nodding in agreement, he found truth in them. The rare times he had listened to his heart, his actions had been spontaneous but never failed to guide him to you as he had been going after you, and he had always felt he was doing the right thing. No rummaging, no regrets after that, only being scared of losing control and falling for you, but he wasn't anymore.

"I think I should go" he almost whispered, a convinced look in the eye while his brows furrowed.

The boy jumped out of his chair as soon as he ended his drink – in one gulp –, making his friends laugh and they didn't even try to come after him when he almost ran out of the café to the university.

"Yeah go ahead loverboy! That's how you man up!" Jooheon shouted before laughing out loud along with Hoseok. "I didn't think having him with us in Seoul would be that entertaining, if only the others were there too!"

Right now, Changkyun's heart was telling him to find you. He didn't know what he would do then, and he still had in mind your wish to never see his face show up in front of yours again, but somewhere deep within him he felt the same thrill that had steered him the times before. The sky was turning into an orangey tone, the dim rays of sun shining on the streets while a fresh spring wind was whirling around, and Changkyun was jogging to the university's entrance at a quick pace. He only thought a second time about what he was doing when he entered the library instinctively, remembering you went there last Monday, before you both got locked up.

How were you going to react? He had confessed just a few hours ago and you had blown up like a bomb right in front of him, so wouldn't you still be sensitive to the fire of emotions he was burning in? Is she okay at least? Changkyun had to check on you – he was dying to do so – and he started begging chance to help him like it always had since the beginning, now that he had realized it had been in favor of your relationship but that he had been too oblivious to use it properly.

He had bought your favorite hot drink right before coming, knowing you liked it as every morning he had spent with you 6 months ago, you had slowly savored one with your eyes still red from the lack of sleep. He still remembered the sweet scent it left in the air every time you spoke. He wanted to smell it again, he wanted to surprise you with his knowledge of your habits, and with his sudden boost of confidence, Changkyun started to roam between the rows of bookshelves and tables, his hands burning with the cup in them and trembling as he anticipated the moment he'd have you in his sight.

However, he hadn't expected what he faced when he landed a foot in the umpteenth row, ready to move on to the next one as he had been doing up til then. His eyes finally met your back still well-dressed in your white elegant shirt, but you weren't alone ; you were with another boy he had never seen or paid attention to, both of your shoulders leaned against the same bookshelf and the tones of your voices really low, close to a whisper. Changkyun stepped back and as he couldn't fight his curiosity, he walked in the neighboring row until he was at your level, careful not to be seen or suspicious as he took a random book in his hands and leafed it, the drink still preciously held in his right hand.

***

You had decided to plunge yourself into work at the library at the end of the day, as after having spent the entire afternoon remembering Changkyun's fucking weird confession instead of listening to classes, you had been persuaded that returning to your dorm would only have resulted in you crying in your bed and wondering how life could be joking at you that much.

Changkyun liked you. From the beginning, he had said. But why did it feel like it hurt instead of relieving you as you had always longed for those words? Like a little angel and a little devil on your shoulders, your intern voices were fighting between something like : "Don't mind him, he should have awakened before instead of rejecting you!" and "You like him, he likes you, just go for it!".

Had he really hurt you? Of course he had, you even cried because of his sharp words. But should you really blame him for having been afraid of his feelings? Better late than never they say… But wasn't it too late? You didn't know yourself, as you weren't really sure if you trusted him in the first place. Maybe it was just an illusion he had, as you had been reunited spectacularly and he felt too excited about it, carried away by the heat of the moment. Maybe it would fade away in some time, while your feelings would still be pouring now that you had no plug to dry up their source. The thought of accepting him suddenly gave you chills and made your heart beat crazily – as always though –, and you shook your head from left to right, hoping it would brush off your feelings and you'd finally get involved in your accounting calculations.

However, it seemed that you were not going to finish your homework any time soon, as your phone's screen lightened up with a Facebook message coming from Hwimin the moment you read the first exercise's instructions. No, not one, but two, then three, and four. What did he want? Why now? Why were these two boys always coming in and out of your life at the same time, moreover when you were the weakest? With careful fingers, you opened the blue bubble and read the lines numerous times until it hit you.

The integration party was on this Friday. That is to say, in four days. Four little days before you got to see your ex again after almost a month without doing so, and you suddenly felt short of breath. A wave of melancholia abruptly crashed against your body, its water filling under your eyelids while your mouth ran dry. Lee Hwimin. You couldn't remember his face quite well now, but the resounds of his sweet voice and laugh were clear in your ears on which you put your hands to focus on your self-control.

Stupidly though, your curious mind directed your hands towards your phone once again and in no time you were surfing on his Instagram account, but what welcomed you surprised and disappointed you at the same time.

Every single one of his last pictures was showing him partying with his friends – some that used to be yours too –, and most of the time he had red eyes or was surrounded by random but pretty girls with bright smiles and sometimes wandering hands.

"What's wrong with him?" you moaned out loud, and you earned a disapproving look from your table mates as well as a "Shhhhht" coming from the intendant that appeared out of nowhere, her eyes scarily peering at you behind the glasses perched on her nose, making you apologize shyly.

Is he serious? You didn't recognize the boy you used to know from these pictures, and what you were sure of, was that you would never have been attracted to him if he had been such a party guy back then. So that was what he had left you for? So that was the freedom he had been seeking? And there you had been feeling guilty for forgetting about him so quickly because of Changkyun, while he looked like he had moved on the second he broke up with you and was proudly showcasing his single life. You bit your lip nervously and started to scroll down his feed as you couldn't believe he had changed that much, looking for something that was familiar to you and that would ensure you you hadn't fallen for that kind of guy in the first place.

You shouldn't have done that. As soon as you reached the pictures of the year before, you felt your heart crumple into your chest so bad that you instinctively put your fist on it and started to pat the zone to help it beat normally again. Hwimin hadn't deleted any picture of you and your relationship. They were still there, drowned under the wave of craziness he was surfing on down in the country, but they were still there and you oddly felt angry.

Those cute legends, those thrilling moments of skipping classes, those comments you left nagging him and his responses full of sarcasm, were the memories you still treasured deep within you. He was your first relationship ever, and while you were trying to crystalize the souvenirs it had implied, his new image was crushing everything and made you doubt about his sincerity with you in the first place. You felt disgusted by his actual demeanor, wondering why he would throw out his old self completely to become a party boy and that only, but mostly how he could send you those caring messages when he looked like there was nothing left of him you could trust.

You needed to understand or at least, you needed some kind of briefing to prepare yourself for Friday night, as you refused to be deceived by another boy. You had to level down your expectations before you let yourself hope something he wouldn't reflect, something that would have suited his kind words when in reality he was only going to be there to party. So you texted his best friend, Gyujeong, who was attending the same university as yours, and you were eager to ask him why Hwimin would send you such messages, and if you were the only one to be shocked by his new mask or not.

Gyujeong appeared to be in the library too, so you rushed out of your seat and when you caught a glimpse of him standing on the stairs and apparently looking for you, his bright orange hoodie calling for you as if he was a warning sign, you waved your arm in the air and the tall boy rushed to you. He still had his charming smile and handsome looks, with his traits close to European ones, and you got surprised when he hugged you quickly once he got you in his reach.

"Y/N… How come we haven't seen each other before?" he whispered, still smiling at you when you parted and he started to walk, inviting you to hide somewhere to talk without disturbing people.

You used to hang out a lot with him, Hwimin and Solhee, making you a square of best friends, and you regretted those moments as you finally got to talk to him after a long time. He was studying law so you had a few to zero classes together, and even if you both hadn't meant to, your break up with Hwimin naturally leaded to one with him.

"How are you doing?" he asked in a quiet tone, putting his shoulder comfortably against the bookshelf on his left and you mirrored him.

"Pretty fine, and you? Not too hard?" you smiled.

"Wellll you can forget about my lazy ass, it's in the past. I'm a hard-working Gyujeong now" he laughed softly, making you giggle as you brushed your hair with your left hand.

University had changed him too, but in a better way than his best friend apparently. Still, you had seen him on a few of the last pictures posted by Hwimin, as he sure had invited him to one of his numerous parties and the thought made your stomach knot indefinitely, as you desperately wanted to hear about your ex from him.

What is that chocolatey scent suddenly in the air? It smells so good…

"So, what did you want to ask me?" he questioned as he played with the chords of his flashy hoodie like a kid in a handsome man's body, and you focused on him again instead of your growing hunger.

Without hesitating, you pulled out your phone and handed it to him with Hwimin's messages on the screen, and to your surprise, Gyujeong sighed before laughing mostly sarcastically. When he raised his eyes, he looked away from you and shook his head in disbelief.

"What makes you laugh?" you couldn't refrain yourself from asking, your brows knitting in confusion.

"When did he send that to you?" he asked back in a louder voice, his tone trembling because of the laugh still in the back of his throat.

"J-Just now, and I… I wanted to ask you if you have any idea why he would do that, I mean, I don't understand him and I would like to know what he wants before I get to see him" you stuttered, your eyes glued to the screen Gyujeong was now rereading, a smile still on his lips.

"You really want to know, Y/N?" he finally looked back at you, one of his brows arched.

What does that mean?

"Y-Yes, why wouldn't I?"

"That means that dumbass chicken misses you." he informed you before laughing again at his best friend he just had betrayed.

"What?!" you exclaimed but in a hushed voice, your eyes ready to go out of their holes and your heart hammering your ribcage.

"I'm sorry but I know him too damn well and I'm sure of what I'm saying" Gyujeong shrugged. "I said it because you asked, and to speak frankly, I think you deserve to know…"

You blinked a few times as your brain froze the moment it got hit by his words, first his revelation about Hwimin's intentions towards you, second his answer to the question you would never have dared to ask him but you had thought about a lot of times, wondering if he had been sharing his best friend's choice as you regretted losing his friendship because of it.

"How can you possibly say that I mean… He broke up with me to enjoy his uni life, and I saw his Instagram and he seemed reaaaaally fine without me so what makes you think that?" you spoke your concerns out loud, under Gyujeong's soft look and smile that were trying to show you, somehow, you were understood.

Too much information in one day. As if Changkyun and Hwimin were linked, you were once again assisting to their collaboration to mess with your entire mind and heart as they now had decided to showcase their feelings for you at the same time. Suddenly, an emotion close to anger bubbled inside of your chest now that Gyujeong had unveiled the disguise under which Hwimin had concealed himself. You were asking yourself how crazy you must be to get attracted to the type of guy that regrets pushing you away and comes back in hopes you'd be the gentle girl waiting for him. Most of all : how come you happened to do that twice in a row?

"Ah his Instagram… I went to one of his parties and they are really lit, the people too, but you shouldn't rely on those pictures you know, Y/N. Hwimin hasn't really changed, if that was your inner question…" Gyujeong guessed and you looked down, ashamed to admit that you cared. "He's still my best friend, he's just happy to live a stressless life with people that are laid-back, and yeah he got carried by the trend to show off how hot uni life is, but he's still the same…"

Gyujeong searched for some kind of response in your eyes, his own inviting you to speak freely while he hadn't stopped smiling since the beginning of your private meeting.

"Let's say you are right. Then why would he miss me…" you winced as you spoke the words up yourself, the thought of it bugging you. "If he's having a perfect life down there, it means he just got what he was aspiring for when he dumped me, and I know you know his reasons Gyujeong-ah."

The latter nodded and he bit his lip before tilting his head, looking for the right words to tell so that he could get to the point without losing your soul in the process.

"I asked you if you really wanted to know, Y/N, so now you know. I told you : I'm his best friend, so I know what I'm saying. At one hundred percent. I won't get any further than this, but would you let me ask a simple question?"

"Go ahead" you whispered reluctantly, your fingers playing with the hem of your shirt nervously as your brain had started to play all your memories with Hwimin in your head like a film you were forced to watch without the right to pause it.

"Do you miss him too?"

Time froze, your blood too as your body went numb, but suddenly something distracted you : the strong scent of sweetness coming from the other side of the wood structure you were leaning on, as if it got closer since the beginning of the conversation. Your eyes drifted to the books next to you, and between them you recognized the outlines of a coffee cup placed on the shelf, your brows furrowing as you saw it was alone. But when you were ready to stand up to look for its owner, Gyujeong scraped his throat and you looked back at him, realizing you had left his question unanswered. What was it again?

"Should I take your dodge as a yes?" he teased, his eyes following where yours were still landing on.

"Oh my god no! No, I don't think so." you finally replied.

How could you miss him when somebody else had been occupying your thoughts non-stop or your sight every time you had tried to forget about him? No, you hadn't missed Hwimin at all, as you were in love with somebody else that ate it all, even the weakest part of your heart that had started to beat for your ex. Indeed, if his messages had bothered you more than it should have, it was nothing compared to the fire of emotions Changkyun had set within your whole body since his confession and that was still burning vigorously, not even slightly threatened by the wave of mixed-feelings that had crashed against you at the sight of the unknown man Hwimin had become.

"Then if you don't care about him, why are we having this discussion right now?" Gyujeong pointed out.

"I still care about him, but not in that way" you corrected, your eyes staring into his as he nodded in comprehension. "I just got disturbed by his sudden messages and his Instagram posts that showed me a total stranger when it has only been a few weeks since the last time I saw him. I needed to understand, Gyujeong-ah. He remains my first relationship you know, I can't stay indifferent."

His best friend hummed and he straightened himself, his dark hair falling on his forehead after he had done a slow move of his head to make his neck crack.

"I got it. But now that I cleared your mind, what are you gonna do on Friday? I don't want to deal with his annoyed self if you're too harsh on him, please!" Gyujeong pleaded before yawning, and you laughed quietly.

"I can't do anything for him, he shouldn't have dumped me… But I'll act normal even if a part of me wants to punch him for being that dumb" you confessed.

"I couldn't have said it any better, he's been fucking dumb" he joked, an ounce of relief in his voice and he put his large hand on your shoulder to shake it a bit. "I'll go now, I have some work to catch on. You know, we can stay friends Y/N, I miss you and… Solhee. I don't have anything to do with all this shit!"

You smiled and let him go and once you were alone, you expired a long breath of air, feeling weird after this talk that had confused you as well as it had helped you face the sad truth the more you talked about Hwimin : you liked Changkyun, and nobody else. Indeed, even when you were granted the chance to turn away from him by going into your ex's arms that apparently were waiting for you, his confession added to his return into your daily life were making you unable to silence your feelings – that now had grown even deeper – like you had before.

Your doubt about the honesty of the three words he had said with confidence was holding you back in a stance of hesitation, where your head was telling you not to believe it and go on your way while your heart was dying to get what it wanted by giving him another chance. You liked Changkyun, and nobody else, and even Hwimin's possible return couldn't change that as the spark you had grown for him only got switched off by the fireworks Changkyun was making you feel.

***

"That means that dumbass chicken misses you."

His eyes open wide and he almost gasps, but he tries to remain as silent as possible not to get noticed or miss a single word coming from your mouth. Who are they talking about?

"… He broke up with me…"

Broke up? She had a boyfriend? Changkyun's jaw drops and he feels his hands starting to tremble, the coffee in the right one on the verge of meeting the ground as he no longer pays attention to it. So this is it? She really moved on? I am too late? There is some sweat forming on his forehead and dampening the few strands of hair he hasn't secured under his hood, and weirdly, a need to puke burns painfully his throat.

"Do you miss him too?"

Please. Changkyun finally decides to set down the drink as he was now about to crush it because of the anticipation. Please don't. He sees your face turning into his direction so he drops his, his hair falling before his eyes and his hood helping him to stay undercover. However, even if he takes a risk to get caught now, he can't allow himself to run away as he knows his mind won't leave him alone if he doesn't hear your answer himself.

"Oh my god no! No, I don't think so."

A quiet sigh leaves his lips and he finally looks up to see you fronting the boy again – Gyujeong, nice to meet you and sorry to be spying on you buddy – and his heart finally releases itself from all the stress and sorrow that had been strangling it.

"I still care about him, but not in that way."

That's all he had needed to hear. Changkyun almost jumped in joy, but soon the realization that someone had took the place you had been ready to give him last summer hit him like a hammer and downed him to the ground immediately. You had liked someone else meanwhile, when he had neither tried to neither found someone who could fit him like you annoyingly did, so it surely meant… You no longer had feelings for him. But why had he felt something going on between the two of you at the library? Or earlier, when your hateful words towards him somehow sounded weird?

When he saw you move from your spot after your friend had left, Changkyun grasped the cup once again and if he had been about to doubt himself and everything he had been intending to do for you, his hyungs' words resounded in his head like a motivating melody and he remembered what he had promised himself. If there had been a time when you had feelings for him, if you were still looking at him as Hoseok had said, he was willing to approach you and rekindle what you once found in him.

Changkyun turned around and followed you silently to the table you were sitting at, and when he saw there wasn't anybody in front of you, he once again was able to thank fate from the bottom of his heart. He breathed one last time before walking to you, who were staring at your blank sheets, as empty as your mind was. But the moment you saw a familiar silhouette fill up the space you were facing, everything seemed more beautiful as he splashed your world with the colors of his own, in something bright but warm that increased the heat in no time.

"Here" Changkyun simply said as he slid a cup to you, and you immediately recognized the smell from a few minutes before, a familiar one as you were fond of this drink.

Did he hear everything? And how did he know?

You blinked a few times, your eyes going back and forth between the hot drink and its offeror, who felt relieved that you didn't push it away immediately, or dropped it on his head. Moreover, there no longer was the glare of anger you had earlier in your eyes.

"What do you want?" you answered, your eyes falling back to your exercises while your heart was already beating at a crazy pace.

"That's your favorite, isn't it?" he smiled proudly, and he leaned his elbows on the table before putting his chin in his hands to have a better look at you.

"And?"

You didn't level up your eyes and the boy sighed, but oh thank god she seems fine. And she’s so pretty right now.

"Aaaand that's for you" he answered in that low voice that made you weak every single time, so weak you finally looked at him to find him staring at you with hooded eyes.

"I don't want it" you sternly said, not understanding what he was doing.

You hadn't digested his sudden confession, not even sure if you could and should trust it, but there he already was, making your legs quiver and your palms sweaty. How had he found you? Had he spied on you? Changkyun kept staring at you with his lips slightly parted and you noticed he had sweated, seeing some wet strands of hair on the sides of his forehead.

"Sorry, w-was that too soon? Look I don't know what to do-" he started to panic, suddenly getting scared of the neutral mask you were wearing.

Maybe she isn't fine after all.

"Don't do anything and leave me alone" you grumbled, hiding as well as you could how flustered you were by such a mere action.

"Hmmm sorry, but that's not in my options anymore." he answered sincerely, and even with your head hung low, he caught the quick widening of your eyes.

You finally acknowledged him and you were – amazingly – surprised to see that, in spite of his clumsy and somehow childish move on you, he sure had man up as he had not once failed to stare at you with care in his eyes since he had pronounced his torturing words. You didn't want to admit it, but the more he was sitting here dealing with your rejection without breaking because of it, the more you were growing close to the conclusion that he was perfectly sincere with you. If he had been late to like you back, if he had tried to go his own way while you had been waiting at the finish line without any hope at some point, you were now seeing him letting go of his fugitive disguise to become a front row runner going straight to you. And you certainly hadn't prepared for it, as your heart was responding passionately to his simple presence.

"Stop it already" you whispered, but your voice wasn't faithful to the willpower you wanted it to have.

"Do you know what my friends call me? Stubborn." he chuckled, his chin still in his right hand as he suddenly got a grab of your pencil case and took one black marker from it.

Your brows furrowed as you were about to swear at him for stealing your things, but when you saw him take the cup and write something on it with a little smile on his lips, the picture stuck the words in your throat.

"You?" you finally scoffed. "You're quite the opposite, should I remind you you were supposed to hate me and that you didn't want to have to do anything with me? And now you… You…"

Changkyun closed his eyes in annoyance and he put the cup back on the table before returning the pen into its place, and you had to refrain your smile to appear as you saw he had black ink on the side of his hand. A child I swear.

"You can't even say it." he complained, his brows furrowing and he slammed his tongue in disapprobation. "I was stubborn about hating you... at first. You don't know how bad the guys tried to open my eyes. And now that I have, now that I made another decision, I'm gonna stick to it too so you'll have to deal with me."

The guys? His friends? If even them knew before you or he did, you couldn't be more certain about his feelings now. Friends are always the first to know when you have a crush on someone.

"Stubborn my ass. I'd rather call you Kkung kkungie" you smiled before biting your lip to stop.

"Aish not that please..." he moaned. "Well yeah, you can call me like that if it makes you smile… If I make you smile." he then shrugged, leaning back on his seat before swinging back and forth in it.

"No, that's ridiculous. Just go."

You were the one that was going be stubborn this time ; at least, you had to try. For your own sake, as you were afraid of his sudden change of mind and open of heart, afraid that it would close again, afraid the smile and attention he was giving you were going to fade as soon as you'd say yes. You really liked him, but did he really like you back? And even if he did, you wouldn't forgive yourself if you were that easy to get. Oh my god Y/N are you really considering being with him right now? STOP!

Changkyun suddenly stood up, his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie and he walked until he was just next to you. When you lifted up your head to look at him, he was mirroring your stare and you almost laughed at his appearance, his hood sticking to his face as his hands' position indirectly pulled at it.

"Alright alright. But know that I'm just starting." he said in a chanting tone, his lips slightly curving down as he was proud of what he had said, and then the boy left, triumphant, leaving you with a still hot cup of your favorite drink to linger his presence in your troubled mind even now that he was physically gone.

***

"And what is this?" Solhee asked when she entered the dorm room, her school bag making a loud noise as she threw it on her desk with a sigh leaving her lips.

You were lying on your bed, staring at the cup on the nightstand next to your head, blinking rarely as you read the writing again and again. You had emptied it after all, drinking it slowly as you had savored the bittersweet taste you loved that bad, but each gulp had reminded you of him – he surely had wanted it from the start –, of his hands on it with his thumb ring that gave off a sexy vibe, of the smile he arbored when he handed it to you, of the last look he gave you.

I'll prove it to you!!!

As if saying it hadn't been enough, Changkyun had dared to write it black on beige, leaving a material proof of his determination and making you hear his voice pronounce the sentence every time you read it.

"Changkyun gave it to me..." you breathed before rolling on your back with your arm on your eyes, exhausted by the masquerade a lonely cup was representing.

"Excuse me girl???? Did I miss something?" your best friend hissed.

You told her what happened at the library, from Hwimin's messages to Gyujeong's kindness to Changkyun's... sudden appearance. She listened without a word, only nodding and humming from time to time, until you got frustrated by her silence.

"Solhee-ah, what am I supposed to do, hm? What am I supposed to do?" you moaned, sitting on your bed.

She sighed loudly before smiling at you, and she tucked her black and shiny hair behind her ears.

"Give him a chance." she said quietly. "But make him run a little before that, because he deserves it and it looks like he's willing to anyway!" she added in a determined voice, her fist knocking against the palm of her other hand.

"What?!" you exclaimed, more than surprised by Solhee's words. "What about our pinky promise? I thought you wanted him out of my life!"

"That, was before I learned the guy actually likes you. He hid it well at first..." she mumbled almost to herself. "I mean, I saw him look at you in class lately, and from alllll the things you've told me up till now, that's pretty sure he's sincere. So, I think you both will only be pieces of shit if you're not together. Fate can't seem to stop bounding the both of you, you're in the same uni, the same classes... You won't stand being apart and put your feelings at bay, at least not when you're stucked with each other all year long. You won't move on now that you know his feelings, Y/N. You like each other, so what else can you do?" she shrugged before laughing as you were looking at her with doe-like eyes, your mouth agape.

"How come it sounds so pleasing coming from you, but when I have to admit it myself I want to die?" you whined.

"I don't want to deal with your whining self all year, Y/N-ah. I love you, but not to the point where I have to drag you around campus because you'll be down or talking about him being a jerk. You have nothing to despair about now, because you ACTUALLY CAN HAVE THE BOY."

She sounded like a mom as well as she looked like one, her arms crossed on her chest while she was tapping her feet against the wooden ground, and you felt a smile curve your lips at the sight.

"I'm scared. And I feel like if I accept him, I'd be an easy girl, I'd be weak and-"

"Ohhhh my gosh but love makes us weak, darling!" she exclaimed and you both laughed at her sudden rush of annoyance, her hands up in the air like a drama queen giving you a lesson. "Love makes us weak, but it also makes us happy, and as I told you : you won’t be happy fighting your feelings eternally when their owner is right next door."

She was perfectly right, your heart knew it, but in your head you still felt like you had to take your time to think about it. I'm scared of him. I'm scared of love.

***

Tuesday. That made it three days before you had to meet Hwimin again, and you still hadn't answered to his messages – you weren't intending to anyway. But this thought was troubling you way less than the one of coming across Changkyun in class and in the hallways. Yet, when you entered the first amphitheater of the day, your eyes found him in no time when his had randomly chosen to look at people entering instead of the game on his phone. And the moment they met, you were surprised to see him smile cockily at you, because you were totally destabilized. You were about to storm to your seat with your friends when-

"Y/N!" his low voice called from the top seats and you stopped in your tracks, cursing under your breath as you wished he would just give you some time. You needed time.

You ignored him and pursued on your way, but the boy called your name again above the morning fuss and you turned around brutally to stare at him with guns taking the place of your eyes.

"Come here two minutes please" he asked you once he had your attention, and seeing you hesitate, Solhee pushed you towards the stairs until your feet were stumbling against the first step.

"Go go go! You hear what he has to say, then you walk away without saying anything, that's how you make them run Y/N!" she whispered and you straightened yourself before walking as confidently as you could to the guy you liked so much in his striped turtleneck that suited him so well.

But in your head it was a mess, as a whole bunch of questions were knocking against the walls of your brain, from "What am I doing?" to "What has gotten into me?" to "I don't care? I don't care! I don't care, I don't..."

"Here" Changkyun suddenly said, snapping you out of your intern war as you were already standing next to him before you could realize.

He handed you the same cup as the day before, and your eyes widened before you frowned.

"So treating me with coffee is your way to get to me? Wow I'm touched" you sarcastically said, and you bit your tongue a little too late.

Why can't I just shut my mouth?

"Hey, I woke up early to get you this so just accept it okay? I don't even ask for a thank you" he insisted in a complaining tone, and unexpectedly he took your right hand to place the cup in it, forcing your fingers to wrap around it.

"Well try harder" you answered as you refrained a smile to creep up your lips to the point it tingled as much as the hand he had touched.

"T-try harder? Does that mean you'll accept me sooner or later? Ya! Y/N! Ya!"

You already were walking away as he was shouting with a big smile on his face, brightened by the few words you had just said, while you were hating yourself for being unable to shut your mind whenever he was with you. He could open you like a book and read freely between your lines. If even a coffee could make your stomach bubble with happiness, did you just kill your willpower to stay safe from him by telling him to try harder? His next move surely was going to sway you, and definitely.

You sat down and knocked your head as a punishment, and even between all the voices chatting around you, you could hear him joyfully laugh, but without noticing how he had straightened proudly in his chair and was looking before him as if he was the king of the world. You had told him to try harder, when he hadn't even really started yet ; you had told him to try harder, meaning you were thinking of letting him in somehow.

You took the cup in your hands while the teacher was sorting his things out on the desk, and you discovered Changkyun had written the date as well as an Enjoy! that made your heart quiver a little. You quickly looked over your shoulder to find him focusing on his computer, his sharp eyes apparently reading something, and when he combed his greyish-brown hair with his hand, you bit your lip and turned around, finding yourself ridiculous for being shook by such a mere move.

"Someone's determineeeed" Solhee half whispered half sang as she pointed the cup, and you nudged her while grumbling, wanting to forget the pleasant effect you still were floating in as you were trying to be as tough as possible.

But you soon understood you wouldn't last long, as chance was trying hard to discourage you.

***

Wednesday. Changkyun had let you the space you had prayed for on Tuesday afternoon, satisfied with the phrase you had told him that made his day the shiniest it could have been. He had been so energetic and excited all day long that back at the dorms, his roommate had started to worry when he had noticed him shake abruptly his feet under the covers, as at each time he had remembered your voice in his head telling him to Try harder, he had felt love send him some electric shocks down to the bottom of his body. Changkyun felt totally different now that he had opened himself ; he realized he had leaded a poor life, trying too hard to push back his feelings, as now that he had, he felt lighter and happier, the spark in his chest not bugging him but making him feel alive.

On Wednesday afternoon, the humanitarian association from your university organized a big flea market, where students’ clothes they had given were sold for low prices, and the funds were going to be used for charity causes. You went to take a look with Solhee, willing to donate something, and you started to go crazy as more and more beautiful clothes were in front of you on the big tables installed on the grass, giving you a headache as you wanted to take everything and nothing at the same time.

Your eyes glued to the sleeve of an oversized yellow and brown checkered shirt, its thick but soft fabric showing its quality, so you dug like an adventurer looking for its treasure or an architect discovering a mysterious but precious antiquity under the ground. Once you got the hold of it, your heart fell in love with the piece at first sight, from its sunflower color to its good condition to the black hood it had, making it even more special to you. Who would throw this out seriously? You slipped on the shirt and once you got an approbation from Solhee that ensured you you looked "amazingly amazing", you bought it, happy to have found your happiness and to help whatever great cause the association was pursuing.

You hadn't seen Changkyun yet, neither in the morning as you had different classes, nor now at the flea market – wait, why do you mind Y/N? Still the shirt on above your black top, you walked to your next class with a smile on your lips, but when you entered the building's hall, you almost fell from your brutal stop as you saw the exact person you were thinking of seconds ago.

Chance had pushed again your steps into his path – or the reverse – but your heart still wasn't used to his sudden appearances in your sight as its pace increased – as always though. He had that lazy but attractive vibe again, with his coat misplaced on his shoulder and his cap not fully planted on his head ; and just with that, just with a casual outfit and a careless demeanor, he had your eyes focusing on him only and your mind finding him cute, and you laughed internally at yourself. He had a coffee cup in his hands, one you recognized immediately because of the two others he had already offered you, and by the moment you took a new step before you to flee the crime scene of him killing you by planting an umpteenth arrow in your heart, his eyes landed on your silhouette in front of the glass entrance.

However, what destabilized you even more than coming across him and that froze you into your place, was how big they became, how red his cheeks turned but above all, how a gigantic smile gained his thin lips, curving them slightly down as his signature, and you guessed he sighed before walking to you. I have to go.

"I'll go catch us some seats" Solhee whispered as she winked at you, before disappearing like a thief in the crowd, leaving you as a defenseless bay that its predator was going to eat in one bite.

Changkyun was floating as he grew closer and closer to you, and even if he was becoming inane day by day because of you, he didn't care as chance, or fate, was definitively in favor of you being together.

"Hey Y/N, wow… Wow I don't… I don't believe it, really!" he exclaimed, his sentence messy as he was overwhelmed by the situation.

"What are you talking about?" you asked, confused and flustered by his presence so close to you.

You loved when you could see his forehead, highlighting the beautiful eyes and face he had. How hard you must have fell for him, damn.

"That's my shirt, Y/N! That's… Yes, that's the fucking shirt I dropped for the flea this morning, that's mine! And who bought it… Out of thousands of students? That's you! I can't… No I can't believe it. This, is amazing, wow" he expired, the tone of his voice way much higher as he was excited, and you felt his emotions drown on you.

Your body started to respond to the mixed-feelings rising in your body as your brain processed his words, butterflies again fighting in your stomach, tachycardia, wobbling legs… And eyes that couldn't detach themselves from his smiling face that was warming you, making your palms sweaty. This can't be.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me" you barely breathed, searching the sign of a joke in his eyes.

Changkyun said nothing and simply took his wallet out of his bomber's pocket, not without struggles as he still had the – your? – drink in one of his hands, but when he opened the leather object, he took out a small and crumpled piece of paper from it with his long pianist fingers and presented it to you.

"See! I told you, that's mine, it's a picture from the kindergarten I worked at with Jooheon after I left the market last summer!" he protested, pointing at the very shirt he was wearing on the pictures you were staring at, your heart at the verge of exploding as well as your nerves that were hardly handling it.

"So that's where you had been hiding…" you stated with an ounce of despise, the memory of him abandoning you and the granny still quite painful to you, and even if the apron he was wearing was making him funny, your joyful and kidding side was totally shut off by your confusion.

Your eyes fell down to the fabric on you, and the sudden panic rising in you made you urge yourself to get rid of it but the boy stopped you, his hands catching the falling material on your shoulders to put it in its place again.

"Seriously?" he asked you in a quiet tone, his eyes piercing through you and giving you chills because of their defying – yet loving – stare. "And last time when I said sorry for everything, it included dropping the grandma and you too." he specified, the guilt encouraging him to do so.

"How can you change so much?" you whispered involuntarily, and you bit your lip in regret that he heard it.

"I didn't change, I just stopped lying to myself, Y/N. Looks like I was a great actor, as you thought the old Changkyun was the real me" he joked, his shoulders going slightly up and down as he laughed, his hands still in their position at the base of your neck.

"I don't want to keep it anymore, let me undress" you grumbled, looking away from his face that was stealing your confidence.

"Nope, you liked it so just keep it. I can't believe it seriously" he laughed again, his eyes closing this time as his head rolling back, making his cap almost fall. "Hey, once again, I'm the only one to laugh at how we're meant to be, when you had been the first to back in the bus."

With a move of your shoulders, you got rid of his grasp on you as the touch was making you numb on the inside, disturbing you in a pleasant way when you didn't want to.

"How we're meant to be?" you laughed too, but sarcastically as you knew those words were what you had thought once but had stopped to believe in as he had been cutting the red string seemingly linking the both of you.

And now, he was trying to knot it again. How amazing.

"Believe it or not, there's one thing you still can't deny : our mutual feelings" he replied, his sly smile taking its famous place.

"You talk about it as if it's not a big deal and it's simple, you're incredible" you scoffed, rolling your eyes at the same time.

How can he be so relaxed to talk about his feelings? How can he word them so easily?

"Hmmmm it could be simple, but you're making it harder. And… why should I refrain myself, when I'm with the first person that should know about it?" he asked without asking, and as you had expected – or secretly wished – he gave you the cup, that you took without saying a word, too shook by the situation to fight.

Changkyun felt relieved to see you accept it, so he put his hands in his jacket's pockets before tilting his head to the side.

"Don't you have a class to attend? I don't want you to be late because of me" he proudly said, taking advantage of your weakened state as it amused him to feel him fluster you.

"Everything going wrong in my life is because of you Im Changkyun" you bitched, but when he responded with a smile, you were once again caught short and your heart was once again about to step out of your body to jump at him.

"I know that, but you're still standing there and talking to me…" he answered in a chanting tone, his chin slightly lifted as he liked to do and you wanted to slap him as much as you were craving to take it between your fingers and pull at it until his lips were on yours.

Falling short of replies, you decided to walk away without saying anything instead of stuttering before him, refusing to grant him the pleasure to admire the effect he had on you. And while your feet dragged you further and further from him, you felt defeated as you realized you still had his shirt on, as well as his fucking cup in your hand, both of those items representing the mark he was leaving deeper and deeper under your skin, swaying you to the core.

***

You had spent all day long watching your reflection wearing the shirt in the hallway's glasses or everything that could possibly mirror you, when you had not been staring at the sleeves that fell on your hands as you typed on your computer. You had removed it at first, the second you had entered the class you had been going to before meeting him – to which you had been late in the end – but the chill in the air and the annoyance of Solhee telling you to wear it had made you put it back, smiling doing so as you really liked the clothing in spite of its original owner.

You had had a long day, your brain melt down after getting hotter and hotter from understanding classes and learning new things, and you were now spread on your bed like a beached whale. Solhee and your other friends were finishing later that you – at 10pm if you remembered well – so you were bored. You had finished your homework, your stomach grumbling from hunger all the while and if you had planned to wait for your best friend to enjoy your dinner at the cafeteria later, you were now thinking of going outside campus to eat by yourself. The weather was fine, the night sky without any clouds to be seen, and you were tired of admiring the stars on your ceiling instead of walking in the city streets to see the real ones.

So you put your shoes on, the shirt still carelessly on you as you had gotten used to it during the afternoon, and after writing a small note to your roommate signaling her you were going to have dinner outside, you went to the exit. Forgetting your purse on your desk. And the moment you closed the door, the one of your front neighbor opened and when you turned around to greet her, your hand still on the door knob, you were met with the back of a him, his greyish-brown hair you knew too damn much, the same kaki bomber, the same cap, the same nonchalance from before and this time you gasped loudly, frightened at the sight.

Changkyun jumped and turned around too, his eyes going wide for the second time of the day because of you but this time he didn't smile, as he truly was as shocked as you. Why the hell is he coming out from a girls' dorm room???????

"Amazing" he breathed before finally letting a smile gain his lips. "This is fucking amazing."

He started to laugh wholeheartedly, making squeaking noises, and at some point he had to hold his stomach as it hurt from it. While you were still standing in the same position, quietly looking at him as you were petrified by the ghost he was.

"Still wearing the shirt huh?" he stated proudly once he calmed down, lurking you from your head to your toes while biting his bottom lip.

Fuck.

"What are you doing here? In a girl's dorm? Coming from this room?" you ignored, looking at him suspiciously and, oddly, your heart started to beat quickly in anticipation, as you felt scared of having been deceived by his confession when he could have been a fuckboy like at the pool party.

But as comfortable as he seemed right now, you reasoned yourself and concluded he wouldn't have been doing things with some girl behind this door, or else he would have felt ashamed to confront you. Right…?

"Wowowo calm down Inspector" he joked, his hands coming in front of him as a defense. "We have a study group in here, because we can't talk freely in the library. You wanna check?" he asked with his cocky smile, starting to push the door he hadn't fully closed yet.

"No thanks, are you serious?" you scoffed, your heart finally feeling at ease even if your brain was still processing the fact that Changkyun was a real human being randomly appearing in your life due to circumstances, and not a fucking ghost.

"I don't know, you looked so jealous right now and I want us to be clear" he shrugged, finally closing the gap before leaning his back against the door.

"And why are you the only one coming out if you're a group?"

Y/N SHUT UP!!!!!!

"Because I was hungry and that's kinda boring out there so I made up an excuse" he answered, scratching his eyes at the same time, and he felt glad that you were interested. "Theeeen I realized I forgot my keys in my dorm room, so I have to catch my roommate somewhere on campus before he goes home, it's his dongsaeng's birthday tonight."

Keys. My keys. Where are my keys? Where is my purse?! You didn't say anything, turning on your heels to face your own door but even if you tried, you couldn't open it from outside anymore.

"What's wrong?" Changkyun asked, taking a few steps towards you to look over your shoulder as you were standing still, your forehead against the blue-painted structure that was laughing at you.

"Keys. I forgot my keys. Inside. I'm fucking screwed." you mumbled, sighing in defeat as you knocked your fist against the panel in frustration.

You heard him chuckle behind you so you faced him again, irritation clear in your eyes, but he didn't move nor felt frightened even if you were really close to one another.

"Where's Sohee?" he tried and you clearly saw he was fighting his urge to laugh.

"SoLhee, and she's in class 'til ten" you replied with a stern voice, your eyelids suddenly becoming heavy as you were growing jaded by the situation.

"A m a z i n g I swear. We're even in the same situation right now" he smiled before taking off his cap to comb his hair that was messy.

Stop it. His revelation struck you and you looked at him, suddenly reminded of the curse you both were under and that made you stuck together numerous – too much – times. It seemed to you that it was intensifying lately as you had experienced more than simply coming across each other : in less than a week, you already had acquired three coffees and now one damn shirt that was like the dark aura floating around your cursed self.

"Wow, awesome!" you faked enthusiasm, your fists waving in the air cutely before you dropped your arms to your sides heavily, your smile fading as fast it had come.

How doomed you felt for being locked out, but even more with him being and still there beside you, as if he was waiting for you. You had almost two hours to kill, and your stomach screamed at you to go find something to eat instead of knotting it because of Changkyun's presence, so you started to trail your feet towards the elevator.

"W-Where are you going?" he stuttered, surprised by your sudden move.

"To mind my own business, and so should you" you answered without turning around to acknowledge him, putting your hands in the empty pockets of your jeans.

"My business to mind is right here, so Imma come with it" he replied back as he sped up to pass by you, before walking backwards to look at your annoyed expression he had learned to love.

"Leave me alone Changkyun!"

You were edgy because of his amazed reactions every time you met now, when he hadn't been like that before, as you feared he felt in love just because of chance sticking the both of you together, and that those repeated circumstances were blinding him and forcing him to think you were meant to be. When you had finally stopped thinking like that and had put both of your feet back on the ground, you still had felt your feelings burning for him, and you didn't need to think of fate to feel amazed at his sight every time you randomly met. You were flustered because of him, not because of whatever thing was bonding the both of you. But what about him…?

Once you reached the elevator, you pressed the button and waited for the right moment to push him out of the cabin by surprise, and before he could protest, the doors closed in his face, hushing his voice laced with a laugh. You prayed he wouldn't be down the moment you'd arrived, so that you could lose him in the huge campus to enjoy your time alone. You found yourself laughing joyfully at your own childish behavior, but once you reached the ground zero, your amused self came across his short-of-breath one that was leaning against the wall next to the elevator's entrance, looking at you with disbelief in his eyes.

"You ran? Are you crazy?" you exclaimed as you came out of the cabin, mixed between surprise and annoyance that he still was around you.

"Thought you would get rid of me that easily huh?" he breathed between gasps, then he followed you to the exit as you quickened your pace to get away from him.

"Leave me alone, don't you have keys to look for?" you stopped in your tracks in an empty alley leading to the university's huge gates, lightened by street lights that circled around your silhouette and his, as if you were in the spotlight.

"I don't mind sleeping in the corridor anymore… If I met you again like that, it means I should stay with you" he said in his deep voice, his words barely understandable as he was getting flustered by your beautiful face in the deep night.

He had mentioned it again, and your fears were eating you more and more, even if you tried to listen to your best friend's wise words about how sincere he must be considering all the evidences pointing at it. But as he had talked about how he should stay with you because he had randomly met you, you felt like his choices were guided by nothing more than that, and that there weren't any feelings after all. Maybe you were starting to over think it, way too over, but you were so scared of him.

"You know what? I think I preferred when you resented me, you're being near clingy right now!" you finally exclaimed, louder than what you had wished but it probably was your heart speaking for itself.

Changkyun blinked a few times, surprised at your sudden outburst, but he surprised himself even more when he shouted, as a rush of frustration rose in him :

"Then what do you want me to do?!!!"

You stared at each other silently for a few seconds, and both of you felt your hearts going crazy as something close to regret touched them. But if the both of you had your own concerns, Changkyun starting to wonder if he had been too excited about him liking you and how wonderful he felt about that, he wasn't willing to shut it down another time as he had learned what was the source of you growing apart : the misunderstandings and unsaid.

"To stop trying so hard to get to me, okay? I need time and you're oppressing me!" you responded before he could ask you calmly what was wrong, but your gauge of patience was almost emptied up.

"Oh yeah? That's not what you told me yesterday morning!" he scoffed, feeling slightly hurt at your change of mind.

"I don't know why I said that, but just stop. You can't do as you please when I don't want it, not after all this time." you coldly answered, and you looked at him as he took off his cap once again to ruffle his hair, apparently in irritation as a long sigh escaped his thin lips.

He had to understand you and to remain calm, but it was a hard intern war as his annoyed and frustrated self wanted to curse at you and the coward you were being since he had confessed.

"So that's how you felt when I was denying? I get it…" he mumbled as he nodded, staring at some emptiness into the ground. "But you tell me, Y/N. How can you resent me because I was scared of my feelings and rejected you, when you're doing the exact same thing to me right now?" he then asked, pointing at himself with his ringed index.

He got it, how hurt you must have been as he was feeling hurt at the moment. But he had to do what you hadn't dared to : shake you a little and keep going to you, when you had preserved yourself by turning away from him at some point. Changkyun wouldn't turn away unless he was sure you didn't like him back ; and, right now, he felt that you did, but that you were going to stand on the edge scared to fall in the unknown until he'd prove to you he had already jumped to catch you at the end. And the fact that you were lost for words proved him right, and gave him hope. You were indeed the one being scared and pushing him away, but that was the same behavior he had had all this time – at least if you still believed in his confession.

"Tell me what's really wrong with me being around you, Y/N. And then I'll stop, I just… I might act carelessly, I know… But that's the first time this ever happened to me y'know." he calmly tried without moving an inch, letting you the space along with the time you seemed to need.

Your brows furrowed and you sighed while closing your eyes, some unwelcomed tears forming under your eyelids without you being able to explain why. Maybe it was because you sensed he was willing to listen to you and not pressure you. And with the magical power he only had on you, you were about to unfold your concerns right in front of him even if admitting you were scared was the worst for you.

"You're here talking about chance all the time, and that's so annoying. You can't force it you know, and if that's the only thing that makes you think you like me or the fact that we're always stucked with each other somehow, then you should stop right away because that's lying to yourself." you said, almost without breathing, and you finally opened your eyes.

And here you were again, making assumptions about his state of mind because he had acted carelessly. Changkyun sighed and he took his first step towards you, but not more, his cap now crushed in his hand as he had tightened his grasp around it, his will to make you stop thinking silly things burning his insides.

"I'm using it as an excuse, Y/N." he started, and he saw your traits relax just with this statement. "It's just giving me courage to go to you, without going back because I'm fucking scared of… What you make me… Feel. I don't care, about fate or not, chance or not, misfortune or not. I don't care, I'm just… I'm grateful that now that I have confessed, I have something backing me up and preventing me from being the coward I was before."

He felt his cheeks burning from embarrassment as he had spoken his heart once again because of you, when it was so hard for him to do even with his friends or family.

"You want something from me that hasn't anything to do with fate? Okay." he finished without letting you process the words he had just said, as he was already closing the distance between the both of you until he was a few inches away.

The street lamp was shining upon him, and you felt your lips tingle at the sight of his so close you could only look at them. But soon enough, you couldn't see them anymore as they were on yours, while his hands dropped his hat to place themselves on your cheeks and deepen the kiss he was giving you without you having seen it coming. And if you still hadn't chosen at this point whether you considered him like an angel appearing in your life or the devil itself purchasing you like your shadow, it definitely felt like heaven when you kissed. From the stars you were seeing to the ones invading your body to the point it felt ticklish and thrilled at every edge, it was perfect, and you didn't want it to end as you had waited for this moment to reenact since the pool party 6 months ago. You could feel he had craved for it too from the way he was expiring loudly from his nose, the hot air brushing your face, and when he parted from you, you had the chance to notice he still had his eyes closed for a few seconds as you had kept yours open, due to the surprise.

"That, was me wanting it." he finally said in the deepest voice he ever had, as well as his tone that was so quiet you were the only one who could hear what he was saying.

He took back his hands while still looking at you through hooded eyes, and you felt hotter and hotter the more you lost yourself in them, wanting to take him in your arms and kiss him again without stopping. You liked him so much, too damn much, but then Solhee's words to make him run knocked into your head as well as your pride, and you slightly straightened yourself to hide how flustered you were by a kiss that hadn't been more than three seconds – when it had felt like ten for the both of you.

"I act according to what I want, and the thing up there surely hadn't expected it right?" he smiled and you noticed some sweat forming on his forehead. "So what do you say now? If I oppress you, then I'll stop… If you're sure you don't want nor like me, I'll understand… But you have to tell me, so we can get what's on each other's minds... Instead of ruining everything because we didn't know."

Once again, you were facing a new side of Im Changkyun ; a manly and caring one, and once again, you fell harder for him, every single part of him, everything he did. Yet, you didn't want to rush anything and let yourself get caught so easily after having doubted the second before. You now trusted his words when he had said he'd prove it to you, so you were willing to see a bit more of what he had to show, as what he had just done had already provoked an earthquake inside your whole body.

"Let's grab something to eat." you simply answered, a smile taking its place on your lips before you turned around and started walking again.

Changkyun stopped breathing for a few seconds and once he had your back facing him, he screamed out loud to expel the emotions that had piled up in him. He didn't know himself how he had been able to stand up before you when daring to kiss you had absorbed every ounce of strength in him, leaving him as a piece of marshmallow that was melting and melting due to the fire of emotions burning inside of him. Damn, I'm really good at bluffing.

"So is this our first date?" he finally joked, taking his hat on the ground before jogging behind you, and you chuckled as you shook your head.

"Nope! That's just me taking back my wish for you to stop trying harder…"

Changkyun caught up to your pace and you walked side by side to the exit, a smile pulling at the corner of your lips that were still prickling from the kiss you had shared.

***

"Aaaand... what about the fact that we kissed?" Changkyun finally asked, once you were seated at a fast food making your nose happy to smell the scents of the gross but delicious food on your plate.

You knocked his tibia with your feet under the table as he was sitting in front of you, because you felt flustered by his question and the assurance he had when he talked about it. You wanted to keep your emotions at bay for as long as you could ; because if you listened to your heart right now, you'd already be his.

"You stole it from me, so that doesn't mean anything boy. Who says you're not going to kiss another girl after like the last time you kissed me..." you mumbled before you pecked in your french fries to shove two into your mouth.

"I-I... what?" he scoffed, his eyes rolling at the same time. "You're incredible."

He looked at your starving self eating compulsively and he smiled, not even annoyed by the remark you just threw at him. He actually found it cute that you were still bothered by this, showing him once again you still liked him.

"Alright alright, I'll give you that." he shrugged as he got a hold of his huge hamburger that he placed in front of his mouth.

He opened it wide two or three times without putting the piece of food into it, estimating how much of it would enter and he tilted his head to the side in doubt it ever would. You couldn't hold back your laugh this time, his expressions and unwanted funny actions making him adorable, and Changkyun looked at you with curious eyes, not getting what you were laughing at.

"What? What? What?" he threatened, his chin leveling up each time to defy you.

"You don't realize what you do, huh?" you asked between two chuckles and you ate more fries, shaking your head in disbelief.

He narrowed his eyes but his grumbling stomach prevented him from answering back, as he finally tried to eat his hamburger that had been decomposing itself in his long hands. And as expected, he spilled some sauce on his face and his clothes doing so, making you burst into laughter as you had waited for this moment to come. Changkyun closed his eyes in annoyance and dropped his food before starting to wipe himself without saying a word, but as he looked at his white shirt painted in yellow and red, he sighed in defeat and finally looked at you with your smiling lips around the straw of your drink.

"I think I should stop wearing white around you. Every time I do my shirt does not last long!" he complained, some sauce still on his right cheek and you were pondering between telling him or not.

His remark made you think back of the moment when everything had started between the both of you : had it not been for your clumsiness, you probably would never have met him, you probably would never have been constantly guided to him, you probably would never have been sitting with him right now with your heart beating loudly and your hands aching to touch him.

"I think you should stop being around me" you dared to joke and his face fell until he saw a smile gaining your lips with your teeth showing.

"Wow... If you had been serious, I... I would've kissed you again, looks like that's the only thing that makes you realize you actually like me" he threatened, leaning his left elbow on the table to point at you with his index.

"Yeah sure" you brushed off even if his declaration made your legs go numb – AS ALWAYS THOUGH.

"Don't tempt me."

"Don't get too full of yourself."

"And don't act like you don't care, who said I was a good kisser? Oh right... Y o u."

He was about to take another bite of his hamburger, staring at you with pride in his eyes but when you hit him under the table again, the pain made him miss his perfect calculated mouthful and his nose went right into the piece of junk food.

"Fuck you..." he hissed with his hands full of dirt, and he moaned when he saw he hadn't anything to clean himself up anymore.

He felt ridiculous because you were laughing crazily at his sight, but pity – or guilt – finally took the best of you so you grabbed some of your tissues and you presented it to him in both of your hands. However, you should've known how crazy and unpredictable Changkyun was, as instead of taking the papers, he threw his head right into your hands and wiped it by rubbing it against your palms, his hair brushing your forearms.

"Gross" you quietly said when in reality you were looking at him with surprise in your eyes, the feel of his nose and face in your palm tickling each cell of your skin even with the thin material separating them.

"Nope" he answered as he left the side of his face into your palms, with his eyes almost closed. "Original, I'm not for the cliché of you wiping my face lovingly."

He didn't know why he was acting this way, yet it felt as if his cheek was now glued to your hands so that he couldn't move it from them anymore. His eyelids felt heavy but he could see through his long lashes your thumb that seemed to be trembling, so he smiled, some hot air escaping from his nose.

"I wouldn't have done it anyway." you laughed as you truly wouldn't have, you just had thought about leaving him with the lonely stain he had a few minutes ago. "Now move, I'm not a pillow!" you ordered, waving your fingers that were near his sharp jawline you felt contracting in annoyance.

"Is my head heavy? That means there's a huge brain in it, I knew it! Even the teacher said it to you, remember?" he proudly reminded as he straightened himself in his seat.

You crushed hardly the previoulsy white paper, hoping he would understand your response from this cruel move, and you retired your hands. Changkyun was still smiling until he looked at his poor hamburger with defiance, a pout forming on his reddened lips, as he was scared to eat it again now that he felt like a baby who couldn't eat without an apron. So instead, he decided to wait for you to finish your menu without saying a word, only appreciating sharing such a simple moment in your company for the first time in your relationship. No questions in his head, no will to bash you, no need to run away ; he could stay seated here for hours just to stare at you, in his fucking checked shirt, the silence calming and leaving him dreamy about how bad he wanted you to be officially his.

You finally took your last bite, and while you tried to convince him to finish his own plate – a little fight that you lost the moment he bent over the table and threatened to kiss you if you didn't let it go –, the clock reached 10:30pm when the curfew was at 11. The both of you rushed out of the restaurant, and you got hit by how time had fled really fast with him, eating in silence not even making you uneasy nor being with him for that long.

"See you tomorrow" Changkyun lazily said in his deep voice once you arrived at the dorms, you going to the building on the right and him going to the left one.

You saw in the way he was keeping some distance between the both of you, balancing back and forth on his heels and keeping his hands in his pockets, that he was forcing himself not to do something. Deep down in you, you wished he would ; you wished he would close that distance and kiss you as the reasonable girl you were trying to be couldn't allow herself to, even if she was dying inside from the lack of skinship.

"I guess" you smiled, suddenly growing shy under his stare.

"Oh my goodness this is so hard" he stifled a moan before biting his lip, and you felt chills going down your spine and freezing you into your spot in anticipation.

Kiss me.

"What is?" you asked when you knew too damn well about what he was talking, as you caught him staring at your lips more than a few seconds.

He screwed his cap on his head and sighed, looking away from you as he was fighting the urge to run to you.

"To have left my burger on its plate, I can't stop thinking about it, what have I done?" he joked randomly, a smile on his lips and you laughed, always amazed by his twisted personality.

"I told you... Anyway, sweet dreams about your guilt!" you quickly wished before turning around and starting to walk to your door, as if you hadn't you surely would have waited for him to come to you all night long.

And Changkyun let you go, as he was well aware of your wish for him to go smootlhy, even if it cost him a frustration that made his heart beat indefinitely crazy even once he put himself into bed – thankfully his roommate had seen his pair of keys in their room and he hid it in some shoes in front of the door. He hoped it would help him feel tired, when he was not ; everything was starting to settle between the both of you, and the excitement he felt about it was energizing him to his fullest.

***

Friday. That made it a few hours before you were seeing Hwimin again. The day before had been a calm one ; without a doubt because Changkyun was as shaken as you by the first intimate moment you both had shared, making you feel weird and shy once you came across each other the next morning. Still, he had offered you the cup of your favorite drink – you had waited for it –, the little note written on it making you smile ridiculously : "Ya, here's my number so text me asap : XX…"

You didn't text him, to annoy him as you found it fun when he was frustrated, and because when you had taken your phone into your hands, you hadn't known what to say. This whole situation was weird in a good way but also too fresh and new for you to deal with it naturally, so you chose to wait for your next encounter face to face instead of having to think of it all day by texting him.

The cup of Friday morning left you curious and eager to meet him again as he secretly gave it to Solhee once she was alone, and she passed it to you : "TEXT ME!!!!!!!!! & listen to Hoseok hyung's song at the concert tonight." The music association was indeed going to have a little concert to start off the party, and you had planned to go to it anyway as you really enjoyed music, even more when it was played live. But now, you felt overexcited about it. What about that song? How did Hoseok had anything to do with the both of you?

You didn't even meet Changkyun once in the day, making you wonder if he had been hiding from you or if it had always been like that and you should stop getting obsessed. Maybe both. And as you spent all day long looking for him without wanting to, your eyes always drifting to your surroundings or outside by the windows when you were in class, the evening came sooner than you thought, and the party was only two hours from now. The anticipation finally hit you as Solhee entered the dorm room even more stressed than you, you could tell it from the messy bun she had to redo four times for it not to fall.

"What am I going to wear? What am I going to wear? Ya, what are you wearing Y/N?" she asked as she opened her small closet while you were staring at the empty cups fighting on your nightstand.

Your best friend turned around at your absence of answer and she put her hands on her hips, disturbed by your apparently laid back state when tonight was crucial for you.

"Y/N?" she called, and you nodded at her. "Should I remind you who's coming tonight for you to wake up or…?"

Hwimin. The name got stuck in your throat as your eyes went big ; you almost had forgot about him as you were only thinking of Hoseok's performance you were eager to see now that Changkyun had talked to you about it.

"Yeaaaah that's what I thought. You have to be the most beautiful grown ass and independent woman you've ever been tonight my girl, so that he regrets twice to have left you that dumbass chicken!" she commanded before going to you to take your hands and pull at it, making you stand up in no time and rush to your own closet.

"And how do I do that?" you pouted, still out of your mind that was filled with blurred images of your ex and clear as water ones of Changkyun.

"You. Get. Dressed up. Like. A. Queen. But not too much, it's only an integration party after all… Do you have a compromise between casual and fucking gorgeous?" she asked as she dived into your own closet full of clothes that were starting to fight for space, and you stood behind her.

"Does that even exist?" you wondered out loud, your brows furrowing but a smile on your face as your best friend was funny without even trying.

"You have to make it exist, Y/N! Oh my god you'll have to thank me later for raising you…" she mumbled. "And I need you to be determined girl! There's Changkyun to make head over heels for you too!" she added as her voice got muted by the location of her head between the hangers.

You chuckled, as her determination itself was worth those of five people. You were excited about tonight, yes, but some bad feeling about Hwimin's return in your sight had now started to grow itself into your chest to the point you felt uneasy to go at all. What would you say? What would he say? What did he want?

"And why are you so excited about tonight, hm?" you finally spoke up, patting her back as she was struggling to pull a top out of your messy shelves.

She moaned one last time as she finally got a hold of a few articles hanging around her arm, and she threw them on your bed before clapping her hands in satisfaction.

"You know that guy in law major that I talked to you about but that you've never seen because you and him have no classes in common when I luckily do?" she spoke quickly without breathing, as she combed the baby hair dressed around her face after the effort it had took to find you something to wear.

"Yeeeees…?" you smiled, feeling suddenly excited that your best friend had a goal tonight too.

"Well of course he's coming tonight, and I've decided to take some action you know! I talked to him from time to time, but I have to try to reach him out of class!" she explained before going back to her own closet.

"What about you show me a picture? How come you never had before…"

You saw your best friend's back tense up before your eyes, while her fingers tapped against the open door of her wardrobe and her neck turned red in an instant. You bit back a laugh, because what she wasn't aware of yet, was that you already knew who that handsome man was, and that you definitely couldn't hide something from each other : you had known it from the first time she had talked to you about him a few weeks ago. You just wanted to tease her a little more as seeing her avoiding the subject or growing uneasy about it was making you cackle inside. She was so cute when she was making lame excuses, and even more when she felt guilty.

"I-I… What about later? Let's get ready fir-"

"Solhee-ah. It's Park Gyujeong, isn't it?" you cut her with a sweet voice, wanting to show her you weren't mad at all.

Knowing her by heart, you had guessed why she would hide it from you for the time being, probably scared to hurt you as she had crushed on your ex's best friend. When in fact, you couldn't be happier for her to have find interest in someone – she was so complicated when it came to love, more than you –, moreover in him when last year he obviously had ran after her but she had played hard to get.

"F-For… For how long have you known?" she stuttered, still her back facing you as shame had frozen her into her place.

"Day 1 babe, you can't hide anything from me, sorry!" you joked and she finally looked at you, guilt clear in her teary eyes.

"I'm so sorry…" she broke down into a sob but you quickly grabbed her free hand to calm her down.

"Hey hey hey don't be! I'm not mad at you, not at all! Gyujeong is a sweet guy, and he isn't Hwimin! He wasn't even okay with his decision you know!" you reassured her as you rubbed your thumb against the palm of her hand that was burning.

"Why aren't you mad? I've hidden it from you…" she pouted, her head hung low.

"Why would I be? I'm glad you finally listened to me when I told you he could be a good guy for you" you chuckled and she did too, feeling relieved.

"How did you know…?" she shyly asked, still not looking at you as she sniffled hard to fight a few tears from coming.

"I've seen you like every single one of his Instagram posts lately. Since when have you done that with a guy? You don't even like the ones from your older brother, but when Gyujeong posts a selfie or even a ridiculous picture of a squirrel eating a nut on campus, here solheejolie likes immediately!" you teased and she shook your hand in protest, whines leaving her mouth.

You both cracked into a huge laughter until she suddenly took you in her arms, her chin resting on your shoulder and you could feel her heartbeat calm down second by second.

"I'm so sorry, I should've told you… We're not something yet, but he tries so hard I swear I had no choice but to fall for him… With all the pretty girls around he still hasn't given up on me yet, can you believe that? How come we have charging bulls coming after us you and me?"

You patted her back once again before tightening your arms around her small frame.

"I don't know, but that's better than cowards, hm? Now let's get ready to make them go crazy with our casual but fucking gorgeous style" you answered with a smile and your best friend finally let go of you, a rush of excitement surfing in her whole body.

"Oh yes, let's get ready!”

***

An hour and half, a few debates about what to wear, a makeup and nail-art workshops later, Solhee and you were finally satisfied with your appearances and nothing was taking the smiles away from your lips, not even the thought of reuniting with Hwimin that was still lingering in your mind. The party was held in a rented party room you could went to by taking shuttles departing from the university, and you felt confident as you approached the loud parking where dozens of students were waiting, some taking their own cars and others waiting like you. And as you had expected, a lot of girls had dressed as if they were going to a gala, while most of guys had stayed the same.

You had opted for a velvet camisole in night blue and black, with a pair of black high waisted ankle jeans that could show off your fancy sparkling socks in your platform derbies ; a casual bottom offsetting the sexy of the lacework plunge neck you had, taking your style right where Solhee had wanted it to be. You had put a dark lipstick on as your fatal weapon, and there you were walking hands in hands with your best friend in her simple but chic black playsuit with detailed tights and low boots. You lined before one of the buses that had its motor roaming, and as you turned your head to your right to answer Solhee's question about the location, you finally saw him.

The spark in your chest exploded in those fireworks you were now getting used to, as it seemed like you barely felt alive when you couldn't feel them at least once a day, and you stared at the beautiful man who hadn't seen you yet, while he had already all your attention.

He was freaking handsome, even if he looked quite tensed as his eyes were narrowed and his jaw clenched, and you wondered what was on his mind. Your body had a hard time resisting going through the crowd to stand next to him, but thankfully every bus's doors opened, creating a movement that dragged you towards one of the vehicles and made you lose the sight of him. Your heart beat faster and faster now that you had seen his face again, and you felt bitter to have been deprived from it in the speed of light.

However, your sorrow didn't last long, as once you were seated and your bus was apparently full, a member from the students' association organizing the party appeared up the stairs and asked :

"Is there a remaining place in there? We've got a student who couldn't find one in the other bus!"

The moment Changkyun's head appeared behind him, an annoyed look plastered on his face, your mouth ran dry and your members froze when you had wanted to invite him next to you, willing to take Solhee into your lap. But the latter took action quicker than you as she got up from her seat to go onto a friend's lap in the other row, before screaming : "There! There!" to the boys' attention. Changkyun moved past the guy that had helped him, walking to your seat without thinking twice and not even acknowledging his neighbor that appeared to be you. You sent Solhee a daring look but she only winked at you, mouthing a sly you have so many things to be grateful for, and suddenly he appeared between the both of you, eating all your sight as you still had your chest turned in his direction.

You finally leaned back in your comfy seat, looking outside as you felt shy for an unknown reason – maybe his gorgeous face and outfit that were taking the best of you –, and you even tried to hide your face by sticking it to the window.

"Y/N?" his low voice asked and you slowly turned your head to him before smiling, killing him in an instant.

Changkyun's jaw dropped before he could even prevent it, as your dressed-up self appearing before him was exactly what he had anticipated tonight, as much as he had imagined it a thousand times. Those tinted lips that called for his, this sexy but glam bodysuit that made him gulp, your flowery and fresh perfume that drown him once more into the wave of emotions you made him feel ; everything swayed him in an instant and he instinctively bit his lip to refrain some inappropriate words from coming out of his mouth. Jesus fucking Christ she's marvelous I want to-

"Hi" you finally spoke up, and the both of you looked – or lurked – at each other for a few more seconds, your palms growing sweaty from the proximity as well as your legs starting to tremble because of the inch of his knee touching yours.

The bus started and drove away but this sudden move didn't pop the bubble you both were in, until Changkyun looked away and sighed, expelling his inner desires that were about to make him kiss you right here right now. And I haven't drunk yet…

"What's in there?" you asked, pointing at a leather bag he had in hands and he urged himself to hide it between his legs.

Shit.

"Huuuuh another coat, in case I'm cold" he lied, his heart beating like crazy at the fright of getting caught.

He had something special prepared for you tonight, and seeing you right before the surprise was making him go out his mind and stress about it even more. He couldn't get himself ready mentally anymore, ass he had counted on the bus trip to help him do so.

You only nodded at his response, still looking suspiciously at the bag, but thankfully for him you were too monopolized by the luck you had to be sitting next to him to overthink about its real content.

"Ah right, I should've brought one too…" you regretted as you pressured your hands against your thighs to calm the fuck down.

"You haven't?! So you're going to stay all night with this one small piece of fabric on you?!" he questioned, turning to you with his hands clenched on the armrests and you read some kind of distress in his eyes.

You jumped at his sudden examination that sounded like a scold and his body that got closer to yours made you stick to the window and retreat as much as possible.

"Yeah… yeah. Why? Do you find it ugly?" you worried, looking at yourself with knitted brows.

But seeing him shake his head vigorously from the left to the right reassured you immediately, and you understood it was quite the opposite.

"No no… it's just…" he trailed his words, his eyes falling from yours eyes to your lips to your collarbones where he stopped before falling back in his seat, lifting his hand to rub his nose bridge with his fingers in order to calm the fuck down too.

You hummed to invite him to pursue, and a smile gained your lips as you saw his ears turn to a bright red color, showing obviously the effect you had on him right now.

"Nothing, nothing…" he tried to dodge in a sigh, his eyes drifting to the hallway on its right because if he looked once more at you, he'll lose it.

"Are you drunk? Is it your personal alcohol stock for tonight in that bag?" you teased, amazed to see him grow uneasy just by being near you.

For once, you were the one having an excellent poker face and mastering your emotions.

"What?! No, no I'm… I'm just tired, you know? It'll go once we're there but I'm just tired, yeah, I'm tired, that's different." he corrected, but as he nodded again and again with his eyes closed, it looked like he was just trying to convince himself.

"I got it, you're tired, no need to ramble grandpa" you laughed and you sat comfortably again in your seat, spreading a little bit more your legs so that you really touched his and you felt them tense under the touch, making you fight an urge to laugh more.

Changkyun wasn't looking at you and he was cursing under his breath ; he had to focus, he had to do things right tonight, he had to-

"What about Hoseok's song?" you suddenly asked and Changkyun's eyes grew wide.

"Can we not talk about that please? You'll see!" he moaned as he rubbed his face with his right hand and his brows furrowed, so did yours as you were confused by his attitude.

"Someone's a bit sensitive tonight…" you concluded, a frown on your face and your neighbor quickly caught it from the corner of his eye, feeling a bit sorry to seem rude but he was struggling right now. "Ah no right, you're tired."

And with that, you looked by the window and just let him be, a bit disappointed by this electric encounter as you had been eager to see him again. But it didn't break your good mood, as you had been able to read his mind about what he thought about your looks tonight. Casual and fucking gorgeous, bingo.

You arrived at the location, a warehouse situated in a deserted industrial zone, and as soon as your feet touched the ground, Changkyun looked over his shoulder and said to your attention :

"I'll see you later."

And with that, he was absorbed by the mass of students going straight to the entrance and you tilted your head, the curiosity eating more and more of the patience you had tried to gather. You entered the warehouse not too long after, and its wideness as well as its club vibe astonished both you and your best friend who started to jump next to you.

You stormed to the stage facing the entrance, going past the cloakroom on your left with two students taking care of people's belongings, going back and forth between the counter and the countless rows of hangers behind them. You didn't even stopped by the bar longing the left wall, where students had rushed to first, as your goal was to be in the front rows tonight, ready to be all eyes on whatever Hoseok was going to do and all ears for whatever he was going to sing. You were destroying Solhee's hand in yours, but the girl couldn't care less as all she did was the same, looking around the both of you to track her pray for the night that hadn't appeared yet.

Ten minutes later, all the lights went off except the colorful but warm spotlights lightening the stage, and you screamed along with the other spectators that were excited to see the show tonight. Once the little concert started, you felt your heart squeeze every time the song changed but without Hoseok – nor Changkyun in the public – to be seen, but you tried as well as you could to enjoy the performances of the talented musicians and singers that were covering lively songs to warm you up.

Suddenly, the world stopped spinning around you when you recognized the muscular guy entering the stage, a beanie on his bleached hair and a leather jacket on that suited him well, and his bright smile seemed to absorb every single particle of light that was in the room. You put your hand on your heart as you anticipated whatever Changkyun wanted you to see tonight, and then the musicians started playing, a melody everybody knew including you, catching your breath in your throat.

I know your insides are feeling so hollow

And it's a hard pill for you to swallow, yeah

But if I fall for you, I'll never recover

If I fall for you, I'll never be the same

I really wanna love somebody

I really wanna dance the night away

I know we're only half way there

But you can take me all the way, if you take me all the way

I really wanna touch somebody

I think about you every single day

I know we're only half way there

But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way

All the shouts and all the voices singing along shut down around you as the only sound you could hear was Hoseok's sweet voice, that married too damn well with the song Love Somebody by Maroon 5, and you were frozen into your place as you faced the happy boy. The more you listened to the lyrics, the more your brows furrowed and your members started to quiver as you getting a hold of why Changkyun had wanted you to pay attention to this song in particular ; but somewhere in the corner of your head, you couldn't believe it. Could the lyrics be… For me? No… Yes?

You're such a hard act for me to follow

Love me today don't leave me tomorrow, yeah

But if I fall for you, I'll never recover

If I fall for you, I'll never be the same

Those last two sentences sounded wrongfully right in your ears, reminding you of how sorry Changkyun had been for acting like a coward with you and towards his own feelings, and for the first time in your life, you could identify to a song perfectly, almost hearing the guy you liked whisper those words to you. You started to look around you for any sign of him, a need to see his face and ask him if your guesses were right aching in every part of your quivering and weakening body, but the crowd was too thick for you to see anything or go through it. And even if you had, you wouldn't have found him as Changkyun wasn't among the public.

I really wanna love somebody

I really wanna dance the night away

I know we're only half way there

But you can take me all the way, if you take me all the way

I really wanna touch somebody

I think about you every single day

I know we're only half way there

But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way

I don't know where to start, I'm just a little lost

I wanna feel like we're never gonna stop

I don't know what to do, I'm right in front of you

Asking you to stay, you should stay, stay with me tonight, yeah

"And shout out to my man… I.M!!!!" Hoseok suddenly screamed in his microphone at the end of the bridge, and under your doe-like eyes appeared the guy you liked on stage, a black shirt on revealing his collarbones in a sexy way that killed you and shook you to the core, but it was nothing compared to the splash of emotions colliding inside your head and against your heart the moment he started rapping.

Rapping about how hard he had fell for you ; rapping about how sorry he was for being late to realize it but hoping he wasn't too late ; rapping about how you both were destined, so he couldn't stop himself from wanting you ; rapping about how weak you made him feel but also stronger every time you looked at him ; rapping about how beautiful he found you ; rapping about how ready he was to be yours and how he wasn't afraid to love you anymore ; rapping about how he was eager to fight for you ; rapping about how he hoped you'd say yes after that.

“... I’m here rapping my heart out so you can get me

I hope you’ll chose me if you ever wanna love somebody

Girl, take me all the way to our ending together

Girl, take every single bit of me, and make it better.”

You hadn't detached your eyes from his beautiful silhouette on stage. From his manly moves to his deep killing voice ; from his sincere words to his eyes landed on you once he had found you and that didn't lose their focus after that ; from the sweat drooling on his body to the water he had put under your eyelids ; you loved everything about him, and if this was his proof to you, then you were glad you had waited before accepting him. He couldn't have seduced you more than by confessing to you through a song, even more by surprising you twice as he knew how to rap, more than well. And the loud cheers he earned once he ended his verse were showing how talented he was ; but Changkyun couldn't care less, as he wanted to hear praises from you, and you only, along with your acceptation of his confession.

He got down from the stage and immediately squatted behind, his legs wobbling after the amount of pressure and of emotions he had felt by seeing you watching him with stars in your eyes and a smile brighter than the sun. He did it. He did it, and he hoped you had received his arrow right into your heart, even if he would make up some more to shoot again and again if this wasn't enough for you. Until you were his, or until he'll knew for sure he was targeting the wrong person. The song came to an end and he got up on both of his feet, and his hyung came to congratulate him while he thanked him for having accepted this challenge, and after a quick hug, Changkyun went out of the changing rooms to find you.

You were doing the same, leaving Solhee behind that was as shaken as you by this love declaration worthy of a film, and the beating of your heart was so loud in your ears that you didn't hear the one you were looking for calling your name behind you. Until he got so close that when you turned around, you gasped loudly as his nose almost brushed yours. You took a little step back – with difficulty as there was people surrounding you – and you bit your lip at his wonderful sight, still wet with his hair now combed in the back and his brows furrowed.

"Did you listen well?" he shouted, but you still had your heartbeat filling up your ear-drums as well as the next song played on stage so you didn't hear what he said.

"What?!"

Changkyun repeated once but seeing you didn't react and only laughed, he took you by the hand and guided you to a door in the right corner of the warehouse, leading outside where a smoking room had been improvised – a square of barriers in front of the wire mesh delimiting the industrial zone from a forest. The cold of the night doubled the amount of chills covering your skin, but the fire coming from your hand in his was making you deal with it.

"What did you say in there?" you asked once again.

"Did you listen well?" he replied back, his eyes on you as if you were going to disappear before him in a minute.

A bunch of students got out of the room and congratulated him, and you saw him smile shyly before he dropped your hand to scratch his neck.

"Of course I did." you answered quietly, still a smile on your lips which was starting to make your cheeks ache.

Changkyun nodded and you saw he was shared between relief and disappointment at such a short answer to something so big he had just done for you.

"Thank you. It meant a lot to me." you added, even if it was hard for you to admit it as a part of you was still scared of letting your feelings out so openly.

Changkyun chuckled and he finally sighed out of contentment, before looking at you and those tinted lips he was craving to kiss in reward for his effort. You need to be patient.

"Nice outfit by the way, was that the real content of the bag?" you teased.

"Yes… Hoseok asked me to wear this, I don't know why…" he rolled his eyes and a blush appeared on his cheeks you wanted to take into your hands. What was stopping you from doing it anyway?

"This boy has a good taste in fashion, I've already noticed it!"

"You like that?" he wondered as he showed you the belt around his waist with a frown on his face.

"Yes, I find it kinda cool…" you trailed as your eyes were, in reality, focused on his bare torso revealed under the unbuttoned shirt, as well as the silver chain hanging around his neck that made it look even more attractive.

"Weird… But thanks. I'm still going to go change quickly, wait for me right here, okay?"

He was beautiful, no ; handsome, and you didn't want him to leave your sight right now, but you nodded as you had all night long to spend with him. And if not tonight, all the rest of your time, as your heart was now about to let him enter it gently, not in a rush ; even if his performance had trespassed the numerous obstacles you had put before the entrance – in vain. You liked him, you liked him, you wanted him, and as you were repeating those sweet words to yourself as they couldn't be said yet, Changkyun disappeared after checking on you one last time.

***

You were trying to remember the lyrics he had rapped, willing to keep every single word coming from his heart into yours, and you didn't notice the two familiar silhouettes approaching the warehouse's entrance at the same time. They stopped in their tracks as they caught you in their sight, a dreamy smile on your face while you were playing with your fingers, so you weren't aware of Hwimin's rush of panic once he saw you, in your well-chosen outfit, while his best friend nudged him gently for him to go to you.

"What do you want me to do? I'll go to her later!" he hissed, and Gyujeong sighed before shoving him with more force.

"C'mon! You're such a coward I swear!" he finally replied back as his best friend didn't move an inch, taking his time to admire in secret the girl he stupidly had left, for as long as he could.

The moment you'd meet again, he won't be allowed to look at you the way he was right now, he knew that too damn well and that was what he regretted the most.

"Y/N!" Gyujeong called and Hwimin snapped his head on his right to look at his best friend as if he was going to kill him with his eyes, to what the taller boy answered by shrugging and smiling mischievously.

The echoing of a familiar voice pierced the bubble you had been in, and when you focused your eyes on a boy who was waving in the distance, you felt as if the sky had fell down on your shoulders. Still sensitive because of the sparkling feelings Changkyun had settled into you and deployed through your numb body, you weren't in the best condition to see him again right now. Hwimin was standing next to Gyujeong who had called you and was smiling at you, while your ex-boyfriend looked in retreat and as shaken as you the second your eyes met. Piece by piece, the picture of his face reconstituted in your head and in every single one of your memories where it had been kind of blurred, becoming clear in an instant and making you feel dizzy at his sight.

Why did it hurt in some way? Why had your legs been about to go to him instinctively and leave the comfortable spot Changkyun had left you in? However, chance had always been in favor of a relationship between Im Changkyun and you, as the latter came back right on time with his black turtleneck on along with his burgundy suede jacket, and he posted himself right in front of you, blocking the majority of your view of Hwimin. You gasped at his sudden appearance and narrowed your eyes as if you had been blinded by some kind of light, and you caught the worry into Changkyun's eyes.

"Are you okay? Let's go inside, you're freezing" he said as his burning hands brushed your naked arms, running down the both of them and leaving their marks as trails of chills traced themselves after their touch, then he got a hold of your left hand.

Changkyun felt brave enough to bait some skinship with you now, and seeing you accept him stimulated him even more, though he still had to go step by step as you had asked from him. You were looking over his shoulder, Hwimin still in the same spot and apparently staring at the both of you, and you felt your heart constrict because of the uneasy situation you felt trapped in. Changkyun was about to turn around to understand what you were looking at with so much interest, not even disturbed by his fingers wrapped around yours, but you had to take action before he could see and bury you into the grave of discomfort :

"Changkyun-ah."

You saw his surprise at your sudden call out, his brows going up and his back suddenly straightening up, but having your eyes on him once again soothed him in some way.

"Hm?" he invited you to continue. "Are you okay?" he reiterated as he tried to turn his head once again to look over his shoulder.

"Look at me." you ordered shyly, as for some unknown reason, you didn't want him to know who Hwimin was as well as the reverse.

Those few words swayed Changkyun and he interpreted them as some kind of green light when in reality they were pronounced out of panic, and feeling your hand squeezing his, he got closer to you, starting to bend down and you understood he was about to kiss you from the way he was looking at you with lust. But you wanted your very first kiss to be pure, truer than you feeling stressed out while sharing this special thing, and right now you couldn't. You couldn't hurt Hwimin by kissing another one in front of him when you hadn't even reunited yet ; you couldn't hurt Changkyun by being anywhere but here with him when this act was supposed to be the most meaningful one in your relationship.

Hwimin was still standing there as he was waiting for something to happen, and when it didn't, he unexpectedly started to walk to you as curiosity – and some jealousy – was urging him to barge into this somehow intimate moment. But having a confrontation between the both of them right at the beginning of the party felt like it would be the end of you, so in a state of panic, you pulled at Changkyun's hand and dragged him along with you inside the warehouse to hide.

"Okay so what was that rush for?" Changkyun asked in your ear once you were far enough from the smoking room, and through the windows you saw Hwimin turn around to walk back to the warehouse's main entrance.

You sighed one last time before your throat definitely tightened as you felt you couldn't lie to him.

"To be honest…It was because my ex was there. He was going to come and-"

"What?"

Changkyun immediately let go of your hand and he turned around abruptly, but as he didn't know what the guy looked like, he stopped before looking at you again, and he could see you were growing smaller and smaller even in the darkness.

"I don't know how to explain-"

"You don't know how to explain what? How you just avoided kissing me because of your ex being here? How do you want me to take that Y/N? Are you ashamed of him seeing you with me? Or maybe you don't want to kiss me in the first place now that he's here? Are you taking your revenge for the pool party?" he burst out, hurt as well as anger clear in his darkening eyes.

Changkyun was even more panicked than you ; he was scared you would go back to him when he had been that close to have you, he was scared he had done everything for nothing so that he'd be disgusted by love forever, and that made him spill nonsense.

"What?! No! Why are you bringing this up?!" you protested, shouting out loud to be heard above the dancing music.

"And why are you bringing your ex up when you said you didn't care about him like that anymore?!"

His words knocked into your head as they sounded familiar, and a wave of confusion hit your brain. Did he hear my conversation with Gyujeong…?

"W-What? How do you know about that…? You heard everything on Monday?" you asked in a lower and trembling voice.

"Yes I did, why? You wished I wouldn't have?" he shouted, his face falling deeper and deeper into something unreadable, and you hated that.

"Why are you getting so mad at me?" you weakly protested, hot flashes suffocating you as you were frustrated of not being able to explain yourself clearly, and as he was scaring the hell out of you by exploding unexpectedly.

"Because I'm fucking serious about tonight, it took me a lot to do what I've done for you and now you tell me that, so excuse me but yes this is making me crazy right now!"

Words were mingling inside your mind and you were wondering why you couldn't fight much more when you wanted to. Maybe that was how unprepared you had been to face Hwimin, as you hadn't thought you would be that affected by having to deal with the two men you had been the closest to in your life, in the same place and at the same time. But what was clear and noble in your mind hadn't come right from your mouth, and Changkyun losing it was letting you out of words. You just wanted to go away from this party with him right now, as you just had admitted to yourself you were in love with him, as you were still drunk in love by the words he had poured from his mouth and heart for you, but you needed to deal with your feelings calmly, and Hwimin's apparition had torn everything apart.

"I am serious too!" you only managed to say.

"Oh really? I don't think so, or else you would've kissed me without second thoughts! You know what Y/N? If you're not sure about your feelings for me or for him, then don't get me involved in this because at least I am. I… I can't believe you." Changkyun snapped back, his deep voice cutting you as well as his harsh words.

He gave you one last tormenting look and he disappeared in the crowd once again, anger clearly boiling through his veins as he pushed past people abruptly. And as he got out of your reach, the fear of losing him definitely caught you and you cursed at yourself for not having been able to plead your cause more fervently. He hadn't listened to you…

Where is he? you asked yourself as you looked around the warehouse, your mind dizzier than if you had drank thousands of glasses of alcohol.

To be continued…

A/N : Wowowo that suspeeeeensssssse… What's going to happen with this love triangle? Hahaha I'm stopping! Thank you for reading as always, I'll put the last (normally) part as soon as possible, hoping law school doesn't end me or else you'll be on standby forever…

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