#literally there was a fucking post from someone who admittedly said 'i don't have any first hand information this is just what i think'

[montanabohemian]

god there are some really dumb takes about the WGA/SAG strike on this fucking hellsite. at least on twitter i can follow a bunch of writers who are in it and will slap you down with whatever fucking nonsense you decide to spew. whereas a bunch of bullshit gets spread by fucking idiot teenagers on this website and nobody puts them in check. or they get mad if you do.

[manicrouge]

SIN CITY

[𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚞𝚜𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

[𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍]: 09/02/24

[𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝]: Rorke finds the Ghost's and you fear you're never going to see Keegan again.

[𝙲𝚠]: Major character death, violence, gore, graphic injury, hurt/ comfort, reader goes THROUGH IT, idk if there's anything else.

[𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝]: 7k (exactly btw)

[𝙰/𝙽]: This has literally been in my drafts since Decemeber and I wrote way too much of it to not do anything with it so = I hope this is enough to suffice. Also, this is entirely based off of the mission 'Sin City' in call of duty ghosts, so if you haven't seen or played the game and don't want spoilers then please skip this !! (I would be surprised if you've not seen this yet you're in the Keegan tag.)

Also, if people do enjoy this I am down to write a part two so please let me know :3

ENJOY !!

There may be typos, apologies!!

Please don't post my work anywhere else without my permission !!

‘If I ever went missing, would you go and look for me?'

It was silent for a moment, and after five seconds passed, you turned to look at the man lying beside you. As you observed his features, you realised that his eyes were closed and while you doubted someone’s ability to dose off so quickly, you sure as shit didn’t doubt Keegan’s. His hand on your waist gave him away as it tightened on you, pulling you closer to him.

Opening his eyes, he peered at you with a furrowed brow. ‘The fuck kinda question is that, princess?’ He asked, ‘of course I would. Besides, need you with me,’ he said, ‘who else would I have to watch my back? Didn’t spend all that time training you for you to disappear on me, did I?’

Smug bastard.

'You're full of yourself,' you bit back.

'Good reason to be,' he said, brushing a hand through his black hair, moving his fringe away from his eyebrows, 'I'll consider being humble when I lose you, princess. But that hasn't happened and it won't be happening on my watch, not at all,' he reassured, pulling you closer to him.

You slapped his chest, letting out a heavy sigh, resting your head against his chest. In the dead of the night and the silence in your room, you listen to the thud of his beating heart while held up on a tiny bed. You were practically on top of him, legs intertwined. 

There wasn't anywhere to go, however, and he didn't seem to care about you closeness at that moment. Rather, he settled with the heat of your body much better than he would have settled in a bed with more space.

'You think this'll ever be over?' you mumbled, closing your eyes, 'I'd like to sleep in a bigger bed with you; this ones a little cramped. Maybe even watch something on a TV too.’

'You're free to take the floor if you want to, I'm not stopping you,' he grunted, pinching your waist.

'I'm gonna blow your brains out,' you sleepily mumbled, placing your hand over his. His chest twitches as he lets out a short laugh, folding his arm behind your head so he can brush his fingers through your hair. 'I mean it,' you grumbled.'

'Of course you do, princess,' he said, 'of course you do.'

—

Throughout your training as a Ghost, you gained an understanding that things will never ever be as easy as you wish they were. But, it came with the job, you suppose, whether it was spoken or not. 

Feelings as such only ever drift in when you don’t have a distraction, and the absence of Keegan after Elias sent him to Colorado Springs proved to be bruising. 

Admittedly, you had been apprehensive with Elias’ request, although, in private, you digressed as you noted that Elias is your Captain, and you were to never question your captains judgement. Even when it came to someone that you loved. So, you bit your tongue, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, you allowed yourself to relax. 

But, you have some things you needed to do before you got any sleep, or before you thought about anything else other than Rorke and the Federation. 

‘JSOC’s going to want to move fast on this, so load up before you get any shut eye,’ he advises.

You follow behind him, standing beside Logan as he walked with Hesh and Merrick by his side. Fortunately, the brunt of the experience has been dealt with, you had survived Keegan’s absence overnight, and in a matter of hours, he would be back by your side. Inwardly, you’re embarrassed at your clinginess to him, but deep down you know he enjoys it. 

‘We’ve got six hours until Keegan gets back,’ Elias says. 

Upon the mention of his name, Riley brushes his head against your leg, and you look down at the German Shepherd, rolling your eyes. Leaning down slightly, you scratch his head. ‘Shut up,’ you grumble to the pup when he looks up at you, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth. When you pull your hand away, he licks it, staring back at you. With a huff, you fold to his attempt of cuteness, moving your hand to the his head again. 

‘Hold up,’ Merrick says abruptly. 

An arm grabs your forearm suddenly, and you let out a startled breath, though when you look in front of you, you realise you’d almost walked right into Hesh. Exhaling, you turn your head to Logan who gives you a short nod. 

‘Somethin’ feel off to you?’ Merrick asks, turning to Elias.

The man immediately turns to his right, observing a laptop left perched on a desk. He says little for a moment, and when you turn your head away from your Captain, you acknowledge Merrick’s watchful eye as he peers down the scope of his gun, observing the sights through the broad windows located to the left of you. 

‘Security’s working,’ says the man to the right of you. 

Merrick slowly backs away, keeping his eyes trained o the window. You feel your throat tighten as you keep your eyes on the man, his paranoia working well to leave a heavy feeling in your chest. Logan lets go of your arm as he glances at his brother, a look that you don’t miss, and Merrick looks at you. You open your mouth to speak, holding the gun in your hands close to your chest, snapping your head to Riley as the dog begins to bark, glaring directly through he window that Merrick had just kept his eyes trained on. 

While he may be a dog, he is surely not an idiot- in fact, you’re quite sure that Riley is much smarter than many of the people you had encountered when you had been a simple rookie, before Elias had taken you under his wing. He could certainly kill more people, that’s for sure. 

It all seems to happen in slow motion, and the night you had spent prior seems to dissipate in one moment. There’s this hissing, you hear it from below, and before you have time to contemplate what exactly it is, a black can is thrown over the balcony, a train of green smoke pouring from out of the top of it.

‘Fuck,’ you curse, ‘get out!’ you yell, watching as another two cans containing the same foul smelling gas are tossed over  the balcony, hitting the ground with a clink.

As you begin to sprint, you find the air around you is similar to the air you breathed whenever you were spending time with Keegan on his smoke break. All oxygen left your lungs as you broke into a sprint, your eyes water, and before you know it, you falling down to the ground, gasping for air as you feel your eyes grow heavy. 

In the midst of the panic and over the thumping of your heart in your chest, you hear Elias call out, ‘Riley, hide!’ before breaking out into a fit of coughs.

You wretch, clawing at the ground in some form of futile attempt to escape, but nothing works as you watch Logan collapse right before you, spewing out violent coughs. Never have you felt so defenceless, so weak as you succumb to the gas, the world around you growing blurry before fading into complete darkness. 

—

‘What are you doing up, kid?’ Keegan asks, seeing you appear beside him.

Letting out a small yawn, your boots crunch against a few stray rocks as you approach him, taking a seat against the rock he was leaning on, looking out at the remnants of No Mans Land. Logan and Hesh had regarded it as their home, as did their father, though, you couldn’t really picture the place without the addition of a crater which grew every day, claiming the lives of old rickety buildings and unsuspecting wildlife.

It was a sorry sight to see for sure, and inwardly, you were happy you never had the misfortune of seeing your own home falling to pieces.

‘You need sleep,’ he said, taking a drag from the cigarette between his lips. 

Your eyebrows raise as you look at him, crossing your arms over yourself. ‘I thought you said you didn’t smoke,’ you say, 'you're a liar.'

You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes at your comment, and when he pulls it from his lips, exhaling a cloud of grey smoke, he chuckles. ‘Thought I told you not to hang onto every little thing I tell you, princess,’ he stated, ‘seems like we’re both guilty of doing something we’re not supposed to, hm?’

Placing the cigarette between his lips again, he turns his attention to you, noting that you’d crinkled your nose as the smoke he’d exhaled blew back into your face. ‘You can handle the fuckin’ dust in the battlefield, but the moment you smell a cigarette you fold?’ he mocks, laughing.

Your brow furrows at his comment and you fought of the urge to rip the cigarette out of his mouth. Instead, you allowed him to have his silly little cancer stick knowing that, if you did so something so cruel, he was sure to be upset at you, no matter how close the pair of you were. Cigarettes were difficult to come by and you liked him enough to let him have one in peace. 

—

When the world fades in, you’re moving.

You don’t know how, and for a short second, you’re convinced you’ve died. But, when you take a sharp breath and feel your lungs burning, you’re crudely brought back to life. When you look ahead of you, you witness two soldiers trailing behind you. Keeping your head bowed, you wince at the dizziness wrecking your tired mind, attempting to hold your breath in fear of the due ache in your lungs.

Swallowing, your mouth is dry and you feel the urge to vomit as your head keeps swaying from side to side. Your limbs feel like jelly, fluid. You can hear them talking, although, everything seems miles away from you, and you feel your eyes water as the tightness in your chest grows. If they know you’re here, do they know where Keegan is? The thought sends a chill down your spine, and in your delirious state, you declare that you will kill anyone who even dared to touch even a hair on his head. Even if it meant your death too. 

‘That all you got you piece of shit?!’

It’s Merrick, you recognise his tone from anywhere, it nearly shatters your delirious state entirely, though, the grip on the back of your collar tightens as your pulled away from him.

There’s more shouting and a loud smack, Merrick, you imagine, is on the receiving end of such a hit. A Ghost in true fashion, that’s for sure. As you attempt to lift your head again, you find the world growing dark once more, and, while you feel as though you should fight against it just as you had seen him do, you allow yourself to fall back into the abyss as you feel your lung burning and throat swelling. 

—

There’s a screeching when you come back around, a vile ringing in your ears. ‘Well, I guess if you want something done right, do it yourself.’ 

Your blood runs cold.

As you slowly begins to lift your head, a hand grabs your face, forcing your head up. The light protruding from the window to the left of you is nearly bruising, and when the hand holding your face successfully tilts your head up, your eyes meet with Rorkes. He looks down at you with a wrinkled smirk, his hold tightening on your hair, yanking it harder. You wince at the pressure as he keeps his eyes on you.

‘You’re finally awake,’ he acknowledges, pushing your head down, letting go of your hair. ‘Good.’

He walks away from you, and as you look around, you note that Hesh is sitting directly across from you, Logan is to the right of you, and Elias is to your left.

As you continue to look around, your face pales at the disappearance of Merrick, and while you sit, you recall the faint memory in your banging head of the man being surrounded by Federation soldiers.

He’s smart, you think, you could leave that bastard in a forest with a knife and he’d have his own fuckin’ city in a month. He’s fine. 

‘Nice to have the family back together, isn’t it?’ Rorke asks, looking to Elias. The man shows no fear, looking the devil right in the eyes with a stoic expression on his face. ‘One thing, though,’ he says, ‘we’re just missin’ our quiet friend, aren’t we?’ he says.

Your heart calms at such a statement.

He doesn’t have him, he’s fine, he’s safe.

You expect him to keep his eyes trained on Elias, counting on the fact that he is the Captain, but, he turns his head over his shoulder and looks at you. Heaving a heavy sigh, he turns his back to Elias, placing his hands down on his knees, ‘where’s Keegan?’

Looking him in the eyes, you spite your dry throat as the muscles in your neck contort and you muster up a mouthful of phlegm. He keeps his eyes trained on you, and you lung forward, a spray of mucus and saliva coating his face. ‘Fuck you,’ you heave, ‘I’m not telling you a fuckin’ thing,’ you sharply state.

He looks at you with wide eyes, standing up and wiping his face with the palm of his hand. 

‘Damn bitch has got some fight in her, doesn't she?’ he laughs, turning to Elias, ‘not your daughter by blood, but by attitude… fuck me, Elias, you’ve got yourself a mini me!’ he exclaims. You bite your lip, taking a deep breath as you look at your Captain with bleary eyes. Grabbing the back of the man’s chair, he pulls it to him. Elias’ gaze doesn’t leave his. ‘Where is he?’ he slowly questions. 

There’s a moment of silence.

‘You know I’m not telling you a damn thing,’ he spits, baring his teeth in his direction.

Never have you seen the man so agitated, his bruised face flushed red, his split lip oozing with blood, a thin line of it trailing down his chin. He looks like a savage beast as the sunlight behind him renders his features darker than typical, and the curve of his lips when he addresses Rorke even sends a shiver up your spine.

Of course, a Ghost was loyal to his own until death, and even then, they were buried down to watch over them. Once a Ghost, always a Ghost. Elias proved his worth much more than Rorke ever could, and while you wondered what exactly they had done to break the man who Elias had described as ‘one hell of a Ghost,’ but one thing was for certain. A man who broke was not a Ghost. Never was, and never would be.

’Go fuck yourself,’ Elias hisses.

Rorke laughs, nodding his head, letting go of the back of his chair. It lands with a clatter, and you watch as the man continues to nod to himself.

‘Dangerous fuckin’ game you’re playing,’ he states, and you watch as his right hand moves from the front of him, trailing around to the side where his pistol sat in his holster.

He’s gonna shoot Elias. Your eyes grow wide as you watch the man retrieve his weapon. Your muscles tensing as he holds it out in front of him. It’s aimed right at his chest, overing above his heart. ‘Well, let's see if I can change your mind,’ he exhales. 

BANG.

In a moment, his hand whips around, and when the trigger is pulled, all the air in your lungs exudes like puss from a pimple.

The shot causes your ears to ring. It’s loud, and everything is fuzzy. For a moment, you look up in search of the wound, hoping that the bullet had not went through your Captains skull. Only, when you look in his direction, you see the smoking pistol pointed directly at you. Your eyes grow wide, and you let out a short breath.

You heard the gun go off, the bullet had to be somewhere. And then, you felt a wetness pooling against your thighs. Everything seemed to move slowly when you raised your head up, looking across to Hesh with wide eyes. 

I’m going to die, I’m going to die and Keegan isn’t here with me.

As you manage to get a short breath in, agony hits you like a truck and you lean over without a second thought.

I’m going to die.

All you training, everything, how to stop the bleeding, none of it matters; you’re truly at the disposal of the enemy and there’s nothing you can do. Not even you Captain can do anything. 

‘NO!’ Elias screams, dragging you back into the moment. 

Between the thudding beats of your heart, you hear Hesh screaming out bloody murder, thrashing against the ropes that keep him tied to the chair, ‘Son of a bitch!’ he screams, looking directly at Rorke, ‘I’m going to kill you! You hear me? I’m going to fucking kill you!'

A shaky breath leaves you as your eyes well with tears, and when you look down, you gulp hard at the sight of a wound oozing blood. Your throat tightens as you feel your entire body grow hot.

‘Easy junior,’ Rorke warns with a disapproving tone. You keep your head bowed as his shadow looms over you, ‘I ain’t even started with you yet,’ he chuckles.

Keegan, where’s Keegan- I’m going to die.

Your eyes sting as your trembling hands press against the rope, pulling against them. You need to get out of there otherwise you are going to die. 

Elias calls your name, you hear it, he shouts it, yet, it seems so quiet.

'Look at me!’ he demands, and while everything in you is telling you to keep your eyes trained on the wound, you force your head up, sniffing hard as you look your Captain in the eyes. At the very least, even if Keegan isn’t there with you, you have him.

Elias, you captain, your military father. There have been plenty of jokes made during particularly bleak moments in missions where Hesh and Logan have likened you to their sister. It's an honour, truly, to know that they were your brothers no matter relation, and Elias entertained the idea that you were the daughter he had never had. 

Rorke appears behind him and it’s then that you don’t realise how many seconds are passing. Every single second feels like an hour, and you’re more than aware that every second passing is yet another drop of wasted blood. You’re running on borrowed fucking time, and there’s Rorke, the big fucking man he is, parading around in front of you like he’s a jester. ‘That’s right,’ he chuckles, placing his hand on Elias shoulder, ‘that’s it,’ he sighs, ‘show him how much pain he’s causing you right now.’

‘Keegan will kill you,’ you rasp out, stifling a short whimper as you clench your teeth. ‘And if he doesn’t, then I will.’

You’re more than aware of the situation your in and your pessimism seems to waver with your consciousness as a sudden boost of adrenaline fills you with defiance. If you’re going to die, you might as well run your tongue; the worst thing that can happen in this moment is him simply putting you out of your misery. 

Rorke laughs at your threats, ‘you see,’ he begins, ‘funny think about your old Captain here,’ he stops himself for a moment, shoving Elias as he resumes his position, looking you in the eyes, ‘He lets his men die to save his own ass,’ he states, turning his attention away from you, turning his attention back to the Captain.

Exhaling shakily, you look over to Hesh and Logan who return a look equally as frightened. Never have you seen the pair of them appear so apprehensive, although, you definitely don’t miss the look of anger. No, even though the look isn’t intended for you, you feel a chill run up your spine. 

‘Dammit, Rorke,’ Elias yells, ‘this is between you and me!’

The world seems like its on a merry-go-round, twisting and turning leaving a delightful fuzziness in your head. Adrenaline is pupping through you, and you’re thankful for the emotion, for, if you didn’t have it, you very well would have been out like a light. Your hands continue to pull against the ties of your rope, and while your wrists are burning from the constant pulling and tugging, you breath a short sigh of relief when you feel them loosening. Whoever tied it clearly weren’t trained in the art of kidnapping. 

‘Leave my kids out of it!’ Elias demands.

You feel your heart warm at his sentiment, giving you all the more fight to get out of these damn binds. Works gun is right next to him, you can get it, you can reach for it, and you can blow that fuckers brains out. 

‘You’re talking to a superior Lieutenant,’ Rorke says, pacing back and forward, before finding his way right back to Elias. Looking down at the man, he calmly speaks, ‘show some discipline.’

You feel your face grow warm listening to their exchange. 

‘You were never one of us, you’re not a Ghost,’ Elias cruelly says, turning his face away from Rorke, looking down to the ground. Rorke hums, turning his attention back towards you.

The ties are growing looser, they’re getting there, you can almost get your hand out of them, yet, you maintain poker face as you look up at Rorke. 

‘Well,’ Rorke breathes, ‘that’s just cause I’m better than you!’ he exclaims, keeping his eyes trained on you. You watch as they narrow, it’s a subtle one, one that you had noted during parring matches with rookies.

As Keegan had taught you, when soldiers get lazy, they give themselves away and it’s always in the eyes.

Your eyes dart to his hands, seeing him clench his fists as he snaps his body around, driving his fist into Elias’ face. The man falls to the side with a grunt as Rorke takes a short breath before raising his other fist, ‘I’ve always been better than you!’ he seethes, punching that man again. Elias tilts his head back against the chair, and you watch as both Logan and Hesh begin to fight much harder against their restraints. Either way, someone was getting out and Rorke was going to pay. ‘But you… you call yourself a Ghost?!’ he barks, hating Elias again. 

As he looks down on Elias, you pull a hand free from the ties. Keeping your eyes trained on Rorke, you look down at his gun, gritting your teeth. ‘You’re nothing! You and your kids, you’re dead!’ he declares.

Wrong move.

With his proud declaration, you push yourself up from out of the chair, snatching his pistol from out of the holster on his thigh. Such, unfortunately, doesn’t go unnoticed by Rorke as he whips around, grabbing your arms, forcing the pistol up. You place your hands against his, using all the strength you can muster to pull the gun away from him. 

Nothing moves him, however. 

But he’s a monster, he likes to play with his food.

He’s not using all his strength, he’s taking it easy on you, and you’re still losing. As he does so, he laughs in your ear. ‘Oh,’ he gasps, ‘she’s still got a little life in her,’ he laughs aloud, positioning the gun so your pointing it directly at Elias. ‘Didn’t he ever tell you not to aim guns at people?’ You grunt, driving your foot against his boot, feeling his grip falter for a moment. You attempt to move the gun upwards, your finger pressed against the trigger. Everything burns. Everything hurts. But you’re not going to stop, you’re going to kill this bastard even if it kills you. 

Unfortunately he’s a scummy man, and as punishment for you stomping on his foot, he drives an elbow into your stomach, winding you.

Your hold falters- you almost fall to the floor- but he keeps you up on your feet, and through gritted teeth declares, ‘they could go off!’ His finger jams against your pressed against the trigger, a loud shot ringing in your ears. You watch a Elias throws his head to the side as a bullet drives through his chest. You fight against him harder, shaking your head. ‘That’s is!’ He grunts, ‘just a little more that way,’ he instructs you, forcing your hand further to the right. You actively pull away as the both of you fight against each other. Tears are running down your faces at that moment, every pull and tug driving the bullet in your stomach further and further. 

‘Dammit, Rorke, STOP!’ Hesh begs. 

 ‘Point it… at…’ another shot is fired, and Elias takes it with a grunt, 'your Captain.’

As though taking candy from a baby, he lets go of your hands, plucking it out of your sweaty grasp. Gunpowder invades your nostrils as he lets you go. Rookie mistake, you hear it in your head, but it isn't your voice. It's Keegan's.

You wobble on your feet, staggering backwards as your get your bearings. What you need to do is untie Logan who is right behind you, and then when he's distracted you can get to Hesh. Yet, as you step back and begin to move towards Logan, Rorke whips around to face you again driving the butt of the pistol into your face. It hits you with a crude thwack, a stoke of colour meeting your gaze as you fail to catch yourself, tumbling to the ground.

Logan screams out as you fall to the ground, and you tense as you brace for impact. You land with a thud, a broken cry escaping your lips when you feel the bullet lodge in your stomach dig further in.

The pain leaves you gasping an you clench your teeth as the room spins. Nausea spread through you as you lay there attempting to collect yourself, gulping back the urge to vomit.  Resting your palm against the ground, you begin to attempt to pick yourself up. If you can just make it to Logan, you can make everything right.

Keeping your eyes trained on Elias, you watch as Rorke circles him as a shark did its pray. Both Hesh and Logan are calling you for you, the rattle of their chair thumping causing your ears to ring. Licking your dry lips, you tense when Rorke turns back to you, pointing the pistol in his hand directly at your head.

‘You got fire in you, kid,’ he breathlessly confesses, ‘I like that… risking your life to protect your Captain,’ he chuckles, leaning into Elias, pressing his finger against his chest. ‘You could learn something from her, Elias.’

‘She’s my daughter,’ he croaks. 

‘Yeah,’ Rorke nods, glancing at you, ‘and she’s gonna get to watch you die. Her and your boys.'

Shot after shot is fired, every bang against you to witness as you grab your stomach, pressing down against the wound to keep yourself from losing more blood than necessary. You’re far too dazed to get up and fight against the man who saw the very life of your Captain as some sort of joke. So, you watch, helpless, as Rorke empties a clip into Elias.

‘No! No! Dad!’ Hesh cries. His face is red as he frashes against the ties keeping him from his father, the very sight making your headache. His tone is piercing as he carelessly spits out curses at the man before him. ‘I’ll kill you, you hear me?’ he screams, ‘I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you! Motherfucker!’ 

The worlds a little blurry. 

Your eyelids grow heavy, and when you force the open upon hearing a thud right in front of you, you’re surprised to see Elias’ face meters away from yours. You fight against the urge to drift off. You’re not going to die, you’re getting out of this and you’re seeing Keegan again- you can't die.

‘You did well,’ Elias breathes, looking at you. Your blood runs cold at the sight of blood seeping onto the ground, ‘I’m proud of you, you and my boys,’ he utters, wheezing for a single breath of air. His lips are blue as he stares at you, your eyes welling with tears as you're forced to watch as the man struggles for his last breaths.

Rorke’s boot is planted firmly on top of his head, and you catch your Captain glancing up at the man.

For the very first time, you see fear in his eyes. It's a dastardly look, mixing with the loss of blood in an unappealing manner as his face grows sickeningly pale. Something tells you that Elias Walker is scared of dying.

No Ghost is to be scared of death, that's not who we are.

But, we're scared of losing each other.

Elias Walker is scared of losing his family, of leaving them behind.

Rorke sighs, pushing his boot further down, leaning down to press the muzzle of the pistol against his forehead.

Keegan, please.

‘Oh… you are right, Elias,’ breathes the man, ‘I’m not a Ghost,’ he grins. There's a pause in his words, and you find yourself searching for some form of sickly hope that just in the nick of time, there will be a bullet in Rorke's head rather than Elias'.

Rorke remains tall and as he licks his thin lips and eyes Elias, you find a dismal pit in your stomach that you know you're never going to recover from.

‘I’m the man that hunts them, and sends them back to the other side.’ 

With that, he pulls the trigger. 

You scrunch your eyes shut as you hear the rattle of the man's chest, a wet pray covering your face. Your lips form into a thin line as you choke out a broken sob, and when you bring your lips together again, the metallic taste of your Captains blood. Behind you, you can hear both Logan and Hesh sobbing, the anger the pair of the showed silently dissipated into grief.

The rustle of fabric in front of you unnerves you, and you attempt to turn away from Elias' corpse, letting out a startled breath when a shadow looms over you and you're grabbed.

'Leave her alone,' begs Logan, 'you got what you wanted. Leave her be... please.'

Rorke holds you in his arms like a child would a doll, and to your surprise, he guides you back into the chair you had jumped out from, forcing you back into it.

Standing back from the three of you, he rubs his mouth with his hand, his lips curling into a small grin as he hums to himself. 'Some talent is between you kids,' he says, 'real shame you're fighting the wrong side of this war, really, it is.'

—

Much to your pleasure, you find Merrick alive.

Despite your doubts prior, you knew well the man was capable of surviving. After the execution of Elias, Rorke left you with his soldiers and you, Hesh, Logan and Merrick were all forced onto your knees, kneeling on the balcony where the attack had first initially ensued. You’re unsure as to how much time had passed, but you were sure the wound was not getting any better as every time you shifted, you fell light headed. 

The soldiers that had been observing you receive something on the radio, although, your entire body is hot and your ears are ringing, the memory of Elias’ face stuck in your head as you were forced to witness his death close and personal. You’re quite sure there is residue on of the crime on your face, so, you keep your head bowed, out of the way of both Logan and Hesh who look completely broken. 

‘You alright?’ Logan whispers.

You’re shaking, but you nod your head. 

‘Just Peachy, L, don’t worry about it,’ you utter, keeping your head down. 

A shadow is cast over you and you catch sight of the boots of three soldiers.

‘The boss wants the girl alive,’ says one of them, causing you to snap your head upwards, looking at the three of them.

The one in the middle is pointing at you, marking you out of the crowd while the other two simply observe. 

You feel dirty. 

The man beside him nods his head, grabbing his pistol from his holster, aiming it at Hesh, while the other one approaches Logan, repeating the process.

It’s terribly calculated, killing both of the brothers, clearing the world of Elias once and for all at the same time. You keep your eyes trained on Hesh, eyes occasionally drifting to the window as you sit and wait. Planting the pistol firmly against Hesh’s head, you hear Logan grunt beside you. Hesh moves to the side, his forearms tensing, preparing for the shot. At the very last, they’re showing them mercy. They could have slit their throats, left them to drown in their own blood, yet, they’re making it easy.

One shot to the head. 

Then you see him. 

A small flicker of light in the distance. 

The light at the end of the tunnel.

The glass shatters, the man holding the gun to Hesh’s head stumbling down onto his knees, his hand firmly planted against his chest. It all happens so fast, the man beside him stands dazed, looking at his colleague. Another shot is fired, going right through the mans skull. A spray of brain, blood and skull covers you as the man fulls forward.

‘HESH, LOGAN! NOW!’ Merrick demands, the pair of them jumping to their feet. 

Logan shoves the guard to the ground, pulling him away from you while Hesh and Merrick rush two of two of the soldiers by the balcony. The awestruck soldier is left to you and you watch as he rushes forward, pulling the gun from the corpse of the dead soldier. Fortunately, Hesh manages to grab the rifle from off of the solider standing on the balcony, elbowing him in the stomach. Rushing up to you, he hits the back of the mans guns with the butt of the rifle, causing the man to fall to his knees. You watch with wide eyes as the solider attempts to rush up to him while Hesh fights with the other one. 

Another shot is fired. 

The soldier behind Hesh falls to the ground. 

‘I got you! Go!’ Merrick yells as more shots are fired.

The rest of the soldiers standing behind are dropped. To the right of you, you hear a gunshot as you stand up, watching Logan push himself up from off of the ground, the blood of a Federation soldier soaking into his t-shirt as he steps over the corpse. Grabbing the pistol discarded on the ground, Logan quickly fires a shot through the head of the solider Hesh is fighting with. A bullet whizzes past you, and without a second thought, you snap around, firing two shots directly into a soldier to the right of you. There are more shots from the right of you, and when the final body drops, you exhale. 

‘You okay, Merrick?’ Logan asks as Merrick unties the ropes around his wrists. ‘Rib’s broken, but I can move,’ he reassures, rushing up to Hesh. 

Logan pulls himself free, immediately approaching you, ripping off the edge of his t-shirt. You watched with a furrowed brow as he eyes you. 

‘Need to keep you from bleeding all over the place,’ he states, ‘c’mere,’ he instructs. You step forwards and he hands you the scrap from his t-shirt. Pressing it against the wound, you groan as he wraps the rope around you waist, trying it tightly around your waist. ‘Keegan’ll kill us if you lose a drop more blood… lost enough today too,’ he says, tying it tightly. ‘You still good to fight?’ 

‘Always,’ you say.

Holding his hand out, the pair of you bump fists and for the first time since this morning, you feel the dread swirling in your blood slowly coming to a stop. 

‘We got to get going,’ Merrick sharply states, marching ahead of the free of you. Hesh follows after him. ‘Keegan, we’re up and moving, get here as soon as you can,’ he instructs.

You look at his back in surprise, your own hand falling to your ear piece realising thatchy hadn’t taken them off of you.

‘Check… I’ll meet you in the kitchen,’ confirms the voice you have missed so terribly.

You clear your throat, wincing as you proceed forward, following after Merrick. Part of you wants him to say something to you, to tell you that everything is going to be okay, but you understand that doing such would absolutely be irresponsible, so, you busy yourself listening to Merrick. 

‘We need to make it to the west side of the building,’ he states, ‘it’s the best chance of getting out of here.’ You nod silently, taking a moment to take a breath. Everything was going to be fine, and in the end of this, you were going to have Rorke’s head in your hands. ‘You still good to fight, Eclipse?’ 

‘Always,’ you give a short nod, ‘bleedings calmed,’ you confirm, despite the burning causing you legs to wobble slightly. In due time it will be over, all of this ill be a distant memory. Just push on a little longer, that’s all you have to do. 

‘Shh.. noise behind the door,’ Hesh warns as he approaches it, ‘lets make this quick.’

—

As you push through the room, you exhale when a voice calls, 'I'm almost there,' Keegan confirms as your brow furrows, a particularly step sending a shot of pain through your stomach up your back.

You clamp your mouth shut as you whimper, your dry mouth longing for a drop of water. Eventually, this will be over, you just had to stick to it. He's almost here, you just have to keep pushing on. That's the only thing you can do.

Just keep fighting.

'You better find a place to hide, though, lotta guys headed right to you,' he warns.

You want to complain upon hearing such, why can it never just be easy? Everything has to be difficult, no matter what you're doing, you can never just catch a break.

‘Key,’ you exhale seeing the man standing before you.

His hardened haze softens upon catching sight of you, and you waste no time rushing up to him, throwing your arms around him. While unprofessional, you feel no shame in confessing that you were going to die without him, and if anything, you were deserving of this moment. The hug you share is brief as he grabs your forearms checking you over.

He stops when he sees your stomach. 

Merrick curses and falls to the ground, ‘shit,’ he hisses, attempting to push himself up off of the ground. As you look back to Keegan, the pair of you turn your attention towards the doors behind you, hearing voices edging closer and closer.

Grabbing you, he looks to Hesh and Logan, ‘get him up,’ he demands, gently guiding you into the room behind you. ‘We gotta hide, not gonna be able to take them,’ he states, pulling you to the side. ‘What the fuck happened?’ he whispers as Logan and Hesh quickly help Merrick inside the room.

You feel his hand against your stomach, wincing as he looks at you. The pressure on your stomach falters as he pulls his hand away, observing a wet patch in his gloves.  

‘Got shot talking back to Rorke,’ you confess, and while you’re sure it’s something you certainly should not be proud of, you speak with a glowing tone as you look at him. Besides, he trained you all those years ago, why should you be ashamed?

'Logan thought fast, used the rope he tied us up with to try and stop the bleeding,’ you mumble. His gaze hardens as he looks at you, and you swear you can see his Adams apple bobbing beneath his mask. Gently he pushes you behind him, helping you to the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he reaches his hand behind him, squeezing your knee. 

It’s so quiet, yet you feel as though your heart is going to burst. 

You place your bloody, shaking hand over his and offer him a wavering smile. He takes it in for a moment before snapping back into action. His hand is pulled from your knee and you’re left alone. 

'Turn that radio down,' Merrick hisses as Hesh helps him down

He hums as the doors burst open. Pushing you behind him, you all sit and watch as shadows pass you by.

And then the world begins to still. You're unable to describe just what it is you're feeling, although, despite the weight and severity of everything happening around you, you feel light as a feather. Your clothes are soaked at this point and in spite of your efforts, you find your breathing slowing as you lean against the wall.

Clumsily, you reach your had out to latch onto the floor as you feel an overwhelming drowsiness hit you. You've put in all the work and effort you can muster, yet, you've tried from it and as you wade through the mush of panicked voices and the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears, you succumb to your body's desperation and fully close your eyes, wading into the quiet of the stream.

[mdhwrites]

Five Reasons Why The Owl House Isn't Inclusive

Someone on Twitter asked me to elaborate on the concept of TOH not being inclusive beyond LGBTQIA+ labels, which I'm still happy it has, and I accidentally just made a five part list of them that helped bring together a lot of the points I've tackled not only recently but also in the past so... Why not? Let's actually make a kind of master post for this. These are five reasons why The Owl House isn't inclusive.

The demons

I don't entirely have an order for this, this isn't a top five thing, but we'll start with probably the thing that's the easiest to never even think about: It's treatment of the demons of the Isles of the DEMON REALM.

Every demon in the show is either a gag, a villain... Or the ones who get to have nuance or be good are the ones who pass the most for being 'human', much like how the witches are just humans with pointy ears. The first point is pretty obvious. A lot of random demons show up just to be made fun of for looking strange and then move on.

The villain accusation though is because like 90% of one off villains in this show, with no nuance or real personality and are obviously evil just because they're evil are demons. They also aren't allowed to be amongst the good guys for the most part. In the main cast, the only demon is Hooty who... Boy his treatment is AWFUL. It actually says TERRIBLE things about Luz that she treats him just as poorly as everyone else, especially when someone else manages to befriend him... Which the show uses as signaling to treat Lilith as lesser than the rest because now she's comic relief.

Finally the passing part. This is actually big for the fact that it's actually kind of racist in general. The only demons who are allowed actual nuance are the ones who look the most like witches or humans. Boscha and Steve are both theoretically demons as far as we know and they get kind of redemption arcs but much lesser ones than any more human character and both start as villains. Then there's Vee who is the only unequivocally 'good' demon and her whole thing is that she can pass for a witch or human. In fact, she's better at being human than LUZ is.

So point one and we've already got a weird undercurrent of an entire race being lesser than the conventional ones or... that'd be it if not for

1.5: Take a lot of what I said about demons and apply it to the guys of TOH because they're also treated like shit by the writers. They are either villains or jokes when they first appear and the only exceptions are either still pretty questionable for fitting one those roles... Or dead. You know, like Manny. I think Dell is literally the only ALIVE male character who isn't a joke or villain at one point.

2. Everyone's really fucking pretty. Like... period. Every character in the main cast is ready for the runway. The only main character who really comes close to being transgressive in their looks is Willow and like... Overwatch came out 7 years ago with Mei and that she wasn't a daring design choice then and Willow wasn't four years later. They're the definition of 'more to love'.

Admittedly, I'm normally fine with things just having pretty people. Yokotaro is based for giving an android a big ass because he likes pretty women. I don't think people should feel ashamed for that. It's just a problem when a lot of your contemporary competitors, or even old school competitors like Recess back in the NINETIES, who aren't even trying to preach inclusivity, have better body representation than the show that does.

And yes, that does tie back into the demon thing too as you might notice that all the demons who are accepted by the main cast or given more nuance are the ones who look the most conventionally attractive. Good job show.

3. Nothing here is actually transgressive.

So now we're getting away from looks and the like and actually getting into how well the show sells its theming and representation of those society rejects. The embodiment of this should be Luz if the show wishes to say that it accepts those with weird interests or behave oddly. The only problem is that Luz doesn't. At all. When she is, the things she's transgressive about are things like the safety of others and common human decency.

Luz never really defines herself by her interests after all. Azura exists sure but it gets like... A handful of forced references in S1 and then maybe a couple in S2, often not even by Luz eventually but Amity, which is literally what happens in S3 as she abandons the series effectively. This isn't technically bad. She has a healthy relationship to it for the most part. She doesn't hyperfixate or try to interject it into every part of her life. She's just a nerd... Which wasn't even a brave thing back when I was in High School a decade ago.

Straight up: I was a part of JROTC, the American school fast track into the military and people the first guy I ever heard squeal about how the Avengers were gonna happen, he swears, was a really dude in that ecosystem. He was more of a nerd than any of the drama kids I eventually hung out with and no one cared.

And Luz is less extreme than THAT. The only time she actually is is during her character introduction where she, you know, releases spiders on a classroom and also snakes that attack people. Or how about those fireworks? What was her plan with those? Set them off inside and kill burn down the whole building in the BEST CASE scenario? Because if she's been bullied so much, why would she expect her class to come outside for that? Regardless of the fact that you'd get expelled just for bringing that much gunpowder into school, let alone the other reasons she should have been expelled.

The worst part of all of this though is Lilith. Lilith actually hyperfixates. She cares a LOT about her interests and gets giddy about them... And it's almost always framed as mocking. Everything to do with her interest in history is almost always setup for a joke of some sort or to make her look smaller. She is also more genuinely interested in learning and excited about the Isles and its potential than Luz commonly but when she becomes that character, she isn't taken seriously anymore. She's a joke, just like her best friend Hooty.

So now we've rejected nerds. Can we really go deeper? Well, how about the oppressed themselves?

4: The oppressed are inconvenient to the show so they don't show up.

Because the Isles is meant to be bigotry free except for Belos (an ENTIRELY different topic that has bunches of problems of it own) the only people actually oppressed in the show, who are ever actually forced to conform and mind that conforming, are wild witches. But not only is their plight poorly shown but it's also inconsistent.

Eda is our ONLY representation of it and the show ever struggles to decide how genuinely illegal her presence is. She's allowed to just stroll into an Emperor's Coven funded school and enroll her student there. All it takes for her to be free for a day is burning some posters. But also on the other side, she is literally threatened with death ONLY for the crime of being a wild witch and not the rest of her rap sheet.

And why shouldn't it be? Systemic oppression isn't actually that bad by what the show depicts. Dana herself wrote Reaching Out where the coven system is treated like not going to college instead of a crime so severe as to have the death penalty. She also was one of two writers for The First Day where they treat the coven system as just tradition and not like multi-tracking is going to get these kids literally killed, if Bump himself isn't removed by Belos for enabling people to break the law in an episode where he SPECIFICALLY NEEDS GOVERNMENT FUNDING.

And as the coven system is the only form of oppression, no one has to actually deal with the social and sometimes legal pressures that makes one hide who they are. It can't say anything about those actually struggling because it's inconvenient. You can't just have Luz be accepted by all if her dream makes her illegal to most. You can't have her easily fall in love because that relationship is illegal. You can't have members of the government who have done literal witch hunts just turn around and be good guys because they are active participants in bigotry.

So the oppressed, the people actually other'd by the story that's being told, are pushed out of frame for the sake of the escapist fantasy of Luz getting to runaway to a magical world and save it. They exist solely to claim there IS a reason to fight but actually showing their struggle is one step too far apparently.

5. It leans into extremely harmful stereotypes of people with mental disorders and disabilities. Content warning for those topics until the BUT at the end.

This is the last one because not only do I think it's actually the most dangerous but it's also the most personal as someone who is literally disabled due to their depression. Who had to be really careful when writing about characters in crises not to peddle the same narratives most stories do. Extremely hazardous, painful narratives.

Hunter and Eda are both disabled by the logic of the world they live in. Both are incapable of magic in a world that expects it from them and it causes real difficulty in their lives, forcing them to require equipment and/or meds to aid them in dealing with the struggles these cause, doubly so for Eda because of the curse. It actually is good representation... Until you start thinking about and people start getting 'cured'.

Eda's is definitely more of a mental health disability with how much it's connected to emotions, stress, etc. like that than her physically being incapable of doing more. She suffers from not having enough spoons on any given day to do things with some being worse than others. Again, face value, this looks kind of nice.

Here's the insidious part: When she isn't medicated, when she isn't able to hold back her symptoms... she's literally a monster. Anytime she shows her pain, she is actively dangerous to those around her. Full stop. And there is no way to stop this except her murder. She will ALWAYS be a threat for the rest of her life, even after making peace with her diagnosis. After all, in the final episode she literally has to warn someone to get away because she's going to lose control. Worse yet, part of her getting a reprieve from it is to ruin another life. Lilith is made disabled because Eda's illness is so out of control that only through other people's sacrifices can she find help.

If none of this raises red flags, GOOD FOR YOU! You haven't ever had to be told you might lose your apartment just because they don't want to one day find you having done something terrible because they assume that will eventually happen, SOMETHING THAT HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME. You've never been told to hide and lie about your condition, to pass as just a normal person, so you could get a job or just so you didn't appear wrong to others. So you don't seem like a ticking time bomb that will explode.

Hunter is a mixed bag comparatively. He's better because his disability, not having magic, isn't inherently dangerous. He's not going to kill anyone someday because of it. The problem is that he is still mostly framed as lesser because of his lack of magic and that he is helpless due to it minus one time he gets to show off his skills while without his staff... To no avail. Otherwise, everytime he doesn't have a staff, he is completely at the mercy of anyone around him. His heart to hear with Willow is even about feeling like less of a person due to it and how they've both struggled with the problem, which, you know, feels disingenuous when at the end the plant goddess forces him through the ground against his will because she has her own magic and is one of the strongest witches on the Isles. It's like telling someone missing an arm that yeah, when you were young you broke your arm too but you got better while the other person is still MISSING AN ARM.

And then he is cured... By the death of his best friend. At which point, he is whole, a complete person with his own magic... at the cost of a life. You know, just like how Eda only got the curse to back off by hurting someone she cared about too.

What the fuck?

And finally, for a bit more mental health rep: Luz. People like to claim that Luz is suffering from trauma, depression, anxiety, etc. in the second half of show and especially S3. The problem with this is that after S2A, Luz is just categorically is a worse person. This culminates in what most consider to be her lowest point, Thanks to Them when she has a speech in class that potentially hints at suicidal ideation. However, in the episode she decides that instead of taking responsibility and trying to fix her mistakes like she used to, she is going to just stay home and let an entire world die. Yes, she frames it as self sacrifice and having learned from her mistakes... but it's not. It's self preservation if anything.

Anyone on the Isles should be presumed dead or something akin to it with what she experienced during King's Tide. Anyone who goes back is going to fight a GOD to try to reclaim it. To have to beat someone who is leagues more powerful than any entity they've even fathomed before. Her friends have been trying to get home and planning for this all with the expectation that Luz would be by their side. But despite the fact that she explicitly blames herself for the situation, she's staying. There's no talk about how this means dooming her found family, how it means breaking up with Amity or anything like that. Her focus is entirely on herself and the mistake she made. They can all go rot while she gets to stay home with her mom.

This doesn't even go into Luz's lower empathy or her CONSTANT LYING that was more prevalent in the second half of the show. It all says one clear thing though in this context: Because she is damaged due to trauma and depression, she is a generally worse person. She cares less about others than a functional person would, as she was a better person before all of this, and loses her morality as she is willing to let people die instead of fix her mistakes.

All of this just makes it bluntly better if Luz isn't actually depressed during this time period and more is just being a bad person because things have gotten tough. Otherwise this feeds into a LOT of bad stereotypes for those who are mentally ill.

BUT.

I do not think any of this is done with malice. Any of the five points. It's just careless. I pointed out the narrative problems for properly including a couple of them and I could easily tell you why others regurgitate issues without blinking for many of the others. It's easy to make these sorts of mistakes if you're not thinking about it. If you're just taking tropes you like instead of trying to craft towards a genuinely coherent theme. It's made worse when you know you're in a landscape that is hungry for representation so being praised for it won't be hard so you don't need to fully commit.

As I said earlier though, this is kind of a problem for a show that wants to be about inclusivity. Who's main themes, at best, are about self actualization and self acceptance. About being who you are and finding the spaces that allow you to do that. And yet... So many are left to the wayside. Abandoned because the show has a very narrow definition of a 'correct' identity and if you don't fill those definitions, it will leave you behind.

If you want a show that actually accepts everyone, that allows for all parts of identity, I've seen only one season of Craig of the Creek and it is EXCEPTIONAL at it. All are welcome in the creek. No exceptions. If someone is alone, it's because of circumstance or self selection and even they are given chances to be a part of the community.

I wish TOH had believed in something even close to similar.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[rodolfoparras]

Right?!?? Calling it predatory is beyond awful and it just reeks of vilifying queer people. We aren't safe from it in every day life and now we aren't safe in our online spaces too?? Particularly in a space we curated for us because we want to write and discuss our queer fics?? And the sheer irony of (presumably) straight woman saying we are acting like a woman in gay bar like.....GIRL- GIRL ARE YOU HEARING YOURSELF-

And the twitter situation omg I have to briefly rant. Someone I follow commented on (albeit 2 years old) post of this straight girlie who was whining about the fact that character she likes was confirmed gay and how she wanted to keep drawing him in straight ship with her female self insert but people were mad at her for doing so. Like no shit 😭 she kept doing it for months after and I think she eventually stopped but like erasing character's sexuality like that when he canonically struggled with being gay too is just gross.

And my gods- girlies acting like Astarion is straight and guys acting like Shadowheart is straight is bane of my existence when all companions are canonically queer!!

As for games, Imma finally be able to properly play all of my favourite games because my laptop is so fucking old that it takes forever to play Sims 4 (admittedly I do have billion mods) let alone something else. I only played BG3 on my bestie's PC and I'll finally be able to do it properly 😭 I swear the only game I don't have any problems with playing on current laptop is Monster Prom. I tried playing Resident Evil 4 (another big hyperfixation) and it was so ungodly slow.

-🔮

Right?! And it’s literally on the verge of painting us as PREDATORS for writing fics? Like come on love both me and you know you aren’t that stupid to think what I do is predatory 💀

Also yes!! Like I said a privilege take to make by a straight woman 😭 like the self insert community isn’t a sacred straight space and fanfiction as a whole is not even a straight space 😭

Some ppl will never stop fascinating me bc I don’t understand this obsession straight people have with canonically queer characters. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an exclusively lesbian character and gone “let me make a male insert fic for her” like there is a whole lot of entitlement there. Not to mention how these little self inserts they make are always catered to white women. There was a Valentine’s Day cod post and i believe all characters except for gaz’s partner were white they will literally do anything to ensure there’s content for them

Also I can imagine how slow sims must’ve been my friend who has a good game set up still has issues with the game and I cant even imagine your situation also resident evil sounds like sm fun to play! I’ve only watched play through but I’ve loved every one of them!

[ramshacklefey]

Hello! I recently came across your post about how genuinely awful mormons are and wanted to reach out for a bit more help. The area I live has a LOT of them (pacific northwest) and I literally live in the neighborhood with their church and get them knocking on my door way too often. As a result, quite a few of my friends and people that I know are mormon, and while they're not super close friends, they're still my friends.

That being said, there's one person I know that's slowly been expressing interest in leaving and looking elsewhere and questioning her religion's fucked up history. I really want to help her and support her and do whatever I can to help her escape such a toxic place but I know how much of a shitty experience it is and how they treat outsiders and the horrible things they've said to me for NOT being a part of their cult and I know it'll be a thousand times worse for her if she does go through with it.

Do you have any advice, know anything that I can do to help keep her both mentally and physically safe, and any resources I can provide to her or anyone better for her to reach out to? She's 17 currently, I'm 18, and it's becoming an increasingly time sensitive issue because as soon as she turns 18 in a few months she's going to be forced off on her mission and she's said many times she'd rather do anything than that.

Thank you so much.

Hi Nonnie!

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that your friend is stuck in that situation. Trying to leave any cult is a hell of a process and almost always wreaks havoc on a person's emotional and mental health. I'm glad your friend has someone ready to support her if she decides to make that plunge.

Biggest practical thing: Mormons don't send people out on their missions until they're 19, so she has at least one more year to find a way to avoid that. And when it comes right down to it, she'll be a legal adult at that point, so no one can force her to go.

As far as helping her get out, one of the biggest control tactics that cults use is limiting people's social lives and support networks. If you have a wider friend group who aren't mormons, even if it's just a group of hobby-buddies, start introducing your friend to them. The more she realizes that she can get healthy emotional and material support outside the church, the easier it will be for her to make the break.

The situation is admittedly also a bit delicate right now, because she's still a minor, so her parents have a lot more control over her, and trying to get in the way of that as an outside adult can put you in a precarious situation, legally speaking. Both of you should tread carefully for the next few months.

Once she's 18, if she's feeling ready to do so, she'll want to start looking for a way to ensure that she's not financially dependent on her parents. Finding a job so that she can get her own apartment (or one with safe roommates) is a good first step there. If she needs their financial support for college or something, she may have to play the long con and pretend to still be involved in the church. On the other hand, this might enable her to move away from home, where she'll be less vulnerable to their control.

She can also check out the exmormon subreddit, which can be a good resource for people who are just getting out of the church to find others in similar situations, advice, and a general community to talk to about the challenges (both pragmatic and emotional) of leaving.

If push really comes to shove, she might benefit from finding a women's shelter in your area (if there is one, it'll depend on where you live). The YWCA often has short- and long-term housing for women trying to escape abusive situations or get on their feet when they don't have enough resources to do so alone.

Really, the biggest thing you can do is just to make sure that she knows there is a support network outside the church. They do a lot to convince members that outsiders aren't trustworthy and the only safe community they'll ever find is within the cult (also that no one outside the church is really happy). Depending on her own beliefs, she might be benefited by finding a different Christian congregation to join (esp if there's a relatively liberal church nearby... I believe Lutherans in particular have been trending that way lately) or by finding a local social club that isn't overrun with mormons (something like a local SCA chapter, an elk's lodge, unitarian universalist congregation, etc).

I wish both of you all the best luck and courage in embarking on this journey!

[l13]

Its more for you than anything else. I saw the explosion over gaz and to offer some sort of explanation. The Fandom in large kind of replaced Gaz (who is only member in the 141 who is a poc) with König (who is large, Austrian or German, not in the game but the Multiplayer.

Gaz is a fully developed charakter with flaws and strength and everthing. He has a charakter modle where we are not learning month after the fact that he is wearing a t-shirt instead of a mask. And könig is basically just that. Some voicelines and an ever changing spreadsheet of a few Infos (they can't even decide on a nationality).

So it feels super sus that the Fandom as a whole is ignoring Gaz (who again, is the only poc charakter of the 141) and is spending so much time and energy on someone like könig. And then someone comes along, who admittedly dosnt know a whole lot about the game itself, forgets gaz (like 90% of the Fandom in large ignors him) and just add to a fire she didn't even knew was going on.

I do understand how frustrating that must be for both sides.

i totally get that, and i understand the frustration behind it as well. But that anon could have easily voiced their opinion calmly, just as you're doing now, without attacking me out of the blue.

I don't know about other people, but I personally have not consumed any content about gaz and i'm not really familiar with his character. With that said, I'm not going to lie and say that i didn't know he was in 141, because I did. I literally just forgot, though.

Besides that, everyone's preferences are different, and no one should be put on the spot if they happen to not obsess over one poc character that much, and be accused of being racist. Like, what the fuck?

No one can tell me which characters to like and not like. And I don't choose which characters to write for based on the color of their skin, jesus christ.

That anon had a lot of shit to say about my writing and how it's so bad, but if they took the time to actually check my masterlist they would have seen that I write for hobie brown. A character from atsv, who is literally a poc. Not to mention I literally have gaz in the visuals posts, as well.

Anyways I don't really wanna blow things out of proportion, I think I already have. Point is, I don't like being accused of smth I'm not, it's honestly very sad. But I totally see where you're coming from, and that the anon's mindset was in the right place but just came off super bad

[mass-convergence]

A collarary to the advice of "they'll read it if they want to and they won't if they don't" is - they need to find it. People not reading your work is not a mark against its' quality, it's simply evidence that people haven't found it. As a published author myself I get it, it sucks when noone reads your work. It feels that you have put something out into the world and that it is being ignored. But it is not being actively ignored, it is not being judged as poor quality. It simply hasn't been found. Courage and patience. Don't be scared to send links to reviewers or people in other circles.

Sincerely - thank you.

Long, somewhat disorganized, ramble

It is frustrating, and part of this is my (admittedly ADHD related, though trying to blame it solely on that isn’t really getting the full picture) need for instant gratification and complete lack of patience in anything. And the general insecurity that if it doesn’t get some kind of recognition, positive or otherwise, that I’m just showing my whole ass to the world and people are being too polite to mention it. I also have issues with emotional regulation so it literally feels like someone’s squeezing my heart whenever I get into this state.

And I’ll be honest: I’m frustrated with people who have said they’ll read it or check it out and then never do. And I don’t feel like keeping on poking them and asking them if they are. Because I’ve gotten the “I’m sorry I’ve just been so busy” explanation about a hundred times now (only slightly exaggerating).

And I don’t want to call them liars because I’m an adult with a day job and a mountain of responsibilities that I’m only somewhat keeping up with. There’s plenty of stuff I want to watch or consume that I don’t have mental bandwidth to handle. I’ve read the first paragraph of Gideon the Ninth and I want to read more I just haven’t gotten a chance. Which also is lending to mental health issues but we do not have the time to unpack that rn.

This is something I’m passionate about and pouring my heart into and not even getting the bare minimum of support from people who purportedly said they’re interested is not really a fun spot to be in. (And I know one or two of my friends have been reading and I love you guys). My mom said she was gonna read it which is slightly terrifying because she’s not into queer fantasy but she’s also like unabashedly supportive and has been trying to get me to publish my writing and sell my art for goddamn ages. I’m not on the level of Tolkien or Pratchett or Gaiman (Martin you stay the fuck out of this) and I’m not trying to be them either. But I think I’m like decent.

And I guess I took some of the advice when I was writing fanfic that “well people who aren’t interested won’t read it so don’t worry about posting cringe” and extrapolated it to original fic. Which isn’t a 1:1 - people legitimately do not give a shit about other’s OCs unless they’re given a reason to care.

Side note: Partially the reason that while I could advertise this (and probably should) as a story lead by queer protags, two of whom are POCs, that doesn’t really tell you anything about them. Aside from representation. Admittedly: I’m not too great at self promo because I feel like I’m hyping me and my story telling ability way too much. Which is a self fulfilling prophecy when I inevitably don’t get any bites.

It’s a rough situation all around and frankly demotivating. Part of the reason I just didn’t post on Thursday because I was just so damn tired of posting and having to deal with the pain over and over again. I have a huge buffer of words and chapters and I’m frankly having a hard time deciding if I should keep posting them. I mean my last chapter didn’t get any notes except for the one reblog … which was my own fucking reblog onto this blog.

And I think I’ve come a long way from like not disparaging my own shit. I love my writing. I love my art. I just hate sharing it and not getting the same level of excitement I feel to tell a story I want to tell.

[avelera]

(given sanctuary anon back again) ((though ive just started "come live with me" too (ITS GREAT!! i dont trust whatever desire is up to AT ALL!) so what does that make me?? dual wielding anon?)) Anyhow i just read the GS new chapter! have i mentioned in any of these asks that "abandonment issues" is like my ultimate kryptonite?? and 1689 hob is in such a vulnerable spot for it too!!! like take any other time stamp (even post 1889) and hob WOULD find it in him to stand up and keep moving (even though it fucking hurts) but 1689 really is when he's low enough to straight up get on his knees and cry and beg and hhhhhhh. like on one hand "my poor boy" on the other "Oh delicious scene, high stakes emotions!" Its so good!

Also about your last reply, i dont think dream is changing too fast at all. Youve written this like he's just had a sudden realization that he's been (just a lil) shitty and now he's noticing the signs all over (lucienne flinching just breaks my heart) and has made a decision to change. But like you said, right now he hasnt actually fundamentally changed (yet)! We went over this in my psych class once (i dont thinks asks have a word limit anymore but ill still spare you the full rant) but essentially theres a big distinction between consciously MAKING yourself change your behavior, and actually having the change settle in to be natural and thoughtless. And its so clear in your fic that being kind is still such a stilted thing for dream and that he constantly has to fight for it and i love that!

AAAAH, Giving Sanctuary anon!!

1 ) Oof, yeah, Hob is definitely at a low enough place, without pride, to beg. That being said, there is an added terror to the moment for Hob in 1689 because unlike every other time Dream has taken off on him, Hob's not in London. He's on the other side of Europe, on a Greek island which is, admittedly, gorgeous but he has no money and (hasn't been mentioned yet but it's in my head) he speaks some sailor pidgin/lingua franca which includes Greek and Italian elements but he absolutely would only have the shirt on his back if Dream left him there for any substantial amount of time.

Hob has no way of making the expensive voyage back to England (Naxos is currently controlled by the Venetians in 1689) and no easy way to make a living or even communicate with most people in Naxos. As someone who has so recently like, earlier that week experienced the depths of privation and starvation, and was only just begun to get his feet back under him and maybe, maybe have a glimmer of near-term (as opposed to only long term) hope that things will get better for him, there are some very real, very practical reasons like starving again why Hob is ready to drop to his knees and hysterically beg Dream not to make some grand dramatic gesture like storm off in a huff on him for however long is appropriate for a literally ageless being to get his temper under control again. And Hob's not wrong to fear that it could be days or longer before Dream decides he should maybe go retrieve Hob from wherever he left him.

Just... yeah, Hob is absolutely melting down because he loves Dream and he has PTSD around being abandoned by Dream and having no one else in his life who really, truly knows him for who he is ever since 1389, and truly no one else who gives a shit about him in decades but Giving Sanctuary is fairly grounded in class and wealth concerns on Hob's end, at least I'm constantly thinking about those things when writing Hob's POV and constantly thinking about how Dream doesn't understand those things when writing their interactions.

Being abandoned without a cent to his name in a strange place was neck and neck with "pissing off and losing the person I love because of my big stupid mouth" in Hob's brain as a legitimate reason to have a full blown panic attack while running after Dream.

2 ) I'm really glad to hear you don't find Dream too unrealistic in his growth! Your psych class comment is a very astute observation and definitely something that's in my mind while Dream has begun to thaw out and grow, he still has bad habits he has to consciously break and doesn't always succeed, especially when miserable and on edge on the island where he had to retrieve his own son's dismembered body with his bare hands and bury it, only to be blamed by his ex wife and the mother of his child as the reason this horrific event happened in the first place. This is really the heart of darkness for Dream, the root of his depression began on this island. But he is working on being better, at least to the people who matter most to him.

Thank you I love these chances to talk about the fic!

[lunarblazes]

I don't necessarily disagree with your take about mcc's ace race but I think it's just not true saying the only reason dteam is still in is the popularity. mcc people like these people!! people like to team with the dteam and have fun when they do! it is not that weird to be upset when you think youve won and then you didn't. sapnap did not complain much at all.

I think people who complain about funneling in dodgebolt (and do so in chat!) are whiny too but I not gonna make a post about it saying that mcc needs to have an intervention??

also some genuine advice do not let twitter drama affect your mcc experience.

hi!! okay this is the kind of opposing opinion i can work with, thank you anon! i respect and genuinely appreciate your response here, and i’ll take this opportunity to further clarify some things.

to your first point—you’re right! they’re not ONLY here because of their fans and it was wrong of me to make that exaggerated assumption in my post. that’s on me. i try very hard not to assume anything about ccs personal friendships or relationships with one another, and i’m sorry i did that there. HOWEVER, i feel as though i am still warranted in being upset with dream and sapnap specifically for their conduct about the ace race decision and other things in the event. for instance, the streamer i was watching was smallishbeans, who got sixth in the first run and dropped ten places in the redo. he was not in favor of a redo but acknowledged it would be the most fair thing to do. he was upset at his score drop, but never once did he argue directly with noxcrew’s choice, MUCH less in the in-game chat. because he’s an adult with manners. being upset because you got a lower score in the redo of the game is completely understandable and that’s not what i’m frustrated about. my frustrations stem from the fact that dream continues challenging and being snarky with the admins in chat when he is not and never has been in the position to make these decisions for an event. nobody else does this. everyone else is simply frustrated and moves on. nobody else feels the need to be an asshole like dream does. now, i cannot remember what sapnap did during ace race in particular, my issue is decidedly more with his behavior about build mart, but my point stands with him as well. he constantly spams messages against build mart to the point where the bit has completely run dry and it’s genuinely annoying to me. people don’t constantly reply to mcc tweets asking them to remove battle box even though it’s a few participants’ least favorite game and that’s because those participants aren’t fucking obnoxious about it. both of them need to grow the fuck up and learn how to talk to people normally.

2) funneling. i admittedly have a bit of bias here because i think funneling is fucking stupid (what a shocker, i doubt you could have gleaned that from anything i’ve ever said on this blog lol), especially with what the yellow yaks did. to me, it makes the event predictable and shows a lack of faith in your team and the fact that dream does it every fucking event no matter who he’s with gets boring as hell. the other participants seem to share my belief and it’s literally not fun to watch if they have such poor sportsmanship they can’t handle giving someone else an arrow for ten seconds, especially if those people are BADBOYHALO AND SKEPPY, WHO ARE NOT BAD SHOTS BY ANY MEANS. i don’t recall anyone saying bad things about funneling in chat, but i wasn’t fully watching dodgebolt this time, so there could have been some comments. regardless, as i’ve said before, it’s not poor sportsmanship to voice annoyances about the event. the difference between frustration and targeting hate is both patterned behavior and direct challenging, both of which dream and sapnap have done. fruitberries thinks funneling is stupid and i know this because he said it on stream. you know what i didn’t do? send hate to dream about it on twitter. i didn’t even mention funneling in my first post even though i dislike it. i wanted to focus solely on direct disrespect. while i can see your point about supposed bad sportsmanship from anti-funneling participants, i posit that it doesn’t have the same horrid effects that dream’s comments do at all.

3) this is some great advice, seriously! i know that some people do struggle with this and it’s truly something to keep in mind. however, twitter drama is not ruining my mcc experience—the behavior of these actual participants is. i have had multiple people in the last 24 hours tell me that they cannot watch mcc anymore because they know the dteam will throw a fit and it’ll be horrible to watch. if this was just twitter drama, i would filter it and move on. but because it is literal, actual behavior from literal, actual participants during the literal, actual event, there is no way i can avoid it. it’s exhausting and the worst constant of mcc. things can and should change, whether that’s a shape up in behavior or a removal.

[natura-est-sacellum]

I just read a post from one of my mutuals where they mentioned that God loves hard work and responsibility...and that got me thinking.

So, my husband and I are working really hard toward buying our first place. I say our first place, because we don't care if there's a house on it yet or if we have to build, or if it's a tiny cabin we could add onto to accommodate our family in the future; we just want a big ole plot of land. Like, at least 5 acres. You can do a lot with 5 acres. Admittedly, you can do a lot with 1 acre, if you're good at planning. We don't want cattle, but we want chickens, and maybe a goat or two. We'll see. But what we really want the land for is obviously because we both love nature, and not being right on top of our neighbors. We want a garden, full to the brim with fruits and veggies. I want apple trees, I want accessibility to a freshwater source for fishing. I want to be able to go hunting in my back yard, if at all possible. I want to help my husband provide for our children. I don't want to rely on the grocery store for literally everything anymore. Especially with all the uncertainties in the supply chains, or the innermost fear I have that it's being manipulated by the government for reasons I don't want to think about. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I don't trust our government to keep everything running smoothly. We have to take care of ourselves and take responsibility for our families' safety.

I grew up watching Alaska: the Last Frontier, and it's because of that show and my great-grandmother's stories of growing up during the Great Depression that I want to be as self-sufficient as possible. I expressed the idea of having a homestead when I was like 14 years old to my grandmother, to which she just said "well, that's a lot of work", very bitchily. Like...yeah. Yeah, it is. And for the longest time I thought that was just cause she's a bitter old woman who can't just let people have fucking dreams, man.

But I've seen this sentiment repeated back to me again and again and again, by some more well-meaning, like my father who grew up on a hobby farm, and knows the work that sort of lifestyle entails, even if it's just for funsies. But others are very quick to point out the hard work. Like, life is full of hard work. Life is hard. Period. If you wanna get religious about it, that's the whole point behind what God said when he cast Adam and Eve out of the Garden. Life is hard for us. We will have to toil and break our backs to have anything of value.

And it's this idea that you can have something of value without having to work for it...at all. I used to have a lot of anger management and other mental health issues. If I hadn't worked on those issues, I guarantee I would not have my husband. I still have shit I have to sort out, like my self-loathing and inability to trust anyone, but because I have him, I'm stronger and prepared to do that hard work to make me better for me, as well as for him and our future children. I could've not worked on myself, but I guarantee you, I'd be single and just as self-loathing as I was before. I'm getting better.

I don't know what I'm trying to get at here. Maybe it's just an observation. Maybe God has revealed a mystery to me that if hard work and responsibility are things he treasures and values, then maybe the phrase "that's a lot of hard work" is the Devil creeping in, trying to make you miserable and subservient to evil deeds. Maybe I'm just too inside my head.

I will close with this: my grandmother always accused Alaska: The Last Frontier of glamorizing the self-sufficient lifestyle. But...they really don't. They show Otto and Charlotte falling into cow shit while out milking the herd, because that happens! They show fishing lures getting lodged in someone's thumb while out salmon fishing, because that happens! They show deer and elk and bear hunts that end with them going home without any meat, because that happens! They show the fights between family members as they're trying to come together to build a new cabin when tensions are running high, because that happens! Life is hard. Families disagree about how to do things, hunting is never a sure bet for getting food, fishing has it's dangers, and animals...are straight up disgusting most of the time. But at the end of the day, if you're willing to put in the work, you got milk and cheese, you got fish, you got to explore the wilderness even if you didn't shoot anything, you have a home. Life is never easy, it's not supposed to be. It's even less easy when you're dead set on doing everything yourself.

But it's worth it.

(Hey @siberianwendys, you inspired me today and thus acted as a tool of God to remind me what's important in life. Thank you. 💖)

[ashen-laguz]

OC ask meme for Yarilo and Ebony

🌨️🧠💔❗☔⚡🐰📓

sorry for lateness, work decided to get in the way

Yarilo

🌨️ - If this oc had a day free from all their responsibilities, how would they spend it?

Likely they'd spend a lot of time on a walk - partially to people watch, as they like seeing what sorts might be around, who might be interesting, or staying on top of what's going on and what might be new in the area~

But if not walking around or causing mischief, Yarilo likes to draw as well. Admittedly this is a headcanon I've picked up from other people's astarion-romancing tavs lol. while Yarilo's always found it relaxing to just absentminded doodle, in BG3 specifically they really started to pick it up more and get more serious about it after meeting Astarion, as trying to draw him seemed like a handy way to let Astarion see how he looks in some form. In spiralverse, Yarilo's one close friend back in Darkmoor was a vampire as well, and I absolutely think they picked up the habit to help her similarly, and now it's become something of a hobby for Yarilo.

🧠 - What is their stress response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn?

Usually fight. Yarilo doesn't get stressed easily, but their emotional response to stress or anxiety tends to be anger so they will likely lash out and fight until whatever is causing the stress is taken down or yarilo is literally forced to disengage. Hitting very specific nerves about their upbringing too hard could lead them to flight instead, but it's def not the norm

💔 - Does forgiveness come easily or with difficulty to this oc? Can they forgive others? What about themselves?

It depends on the situation - there's a degree of asshole-ness that Yarilo doesn't really see as 'bad enough to merit forgiveness' and thus would be quick to forgive because? I literally didn't care you did it? it was kinda based tbh. but if you think you fucked up then sure? i forgive you??? i guess???

Bur if you did actually upset them, then they will not forgive. They have been burned before and thus their trust is very easy to break and difficult to earn back.

as for themself.... they're not a very self-focused person? they don't really get happy or upset with themself about stuff in general, so. yeah they forgive themself easily cause they'll just brush that shit off before they even deeply think about it.

❗- What are the highest priorities to this oc (at a point in their life of your choosing)?

In BG3, their priority all game is literally just! Get this stupid worm out of my head! The game tries to bombard you often with "well do you wanna save everyone? do you wanna be evil?" and every time, without fail, for yarilo i'd pick the 'i wanna be free from the tadpole idc about the other shit' option. they just wanna feel like they fully have control over themself again. post-game, their priority is fully 'lets get astarion's vampirism cured!!!! wait someone said we should take responsibility over the vampire spawn we unleashed on the underdark? eh. nah. we're going on funney adventures looking for a cure :3"

in spiralverse, i think trying to solve the weird magic shit is honestly Yarilo's only real priority atm. They tried to escape Darkmoor for so long, and honestly, now that they've done so? they don't really know what they want after ravenwood. they're pretty aimless atm and are just jumping on this opportunity to not think about that.

☔ - How does this oc feel about rain?

There's not really any rain in the underdark on account of it being, well, underground. and with how Dead everything in darkmoor is, i don't imagine it gets a lot of rain to keep things more,,, alive lol. So regardless of the universe, I imagine it's very new to Yarilo, and thus they're just absolutely fascinated by it. First time they saw it on the surface/in ravenwood, they were TRYING to stay inside to draw but kept getting distracted looking out the window, and eventually just couldn't help but go around and just stand in the rain for way too long, just to see what it's like. (and inevitably catching a cold from doing so. this will not stop them from doing it again next time it rains.)

⚡ - Does this oc have any unusual or “irrational” fears?

Nothing particularly weird, no. They've got pretty bad arachnophobia but that's not exactly irrational or weird :p

🐰 - How huggable is this oc?

eh? they're an Ok hugger. not least huggable person, but they probably aint initiating it unless they're having a moment with a loved one.

📓 - Do you associate any quotes or lyrics with this oc?

"I died that night and killed god in the morning Left without a warning or even informing the coroner I was a foreigner Never belonged in that place, played along in that place Till I had enough of the games"

~ Needed a Change of Pace, Jhariah

i don't tend to associate specific quotes with ocs tbch, so finding something look longer then it should lol

Ebony

🌨️ - If this oc had a day free from all their responsibilities, how would they spend it?

Most likely, she'd just go out dancing. Once she gets tired, then she's sticking her nose in a book about death magic (or necromancy magic in the BG3 world) or maybe just spending time with loved ones.

...or at least those WERE her plans. But she saw a cute animal on the way to do so and that's her plan for the day now. Ebony's a simple lady lol

🧠 - What is their stress response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn?

Depending on the severity of the stress and the situation, usually either flight or freeze. Often there's the part of her that doesn't wanna run because if she is stressed, there is a problem that caused the stress and she needs to deal with it. but lmao her brain is fully shut down now and she doesn't know how to respond so she literally cannot respond.

but if it's REALLY really bad, or if someone else is really stressed, then fuck that actually - she's gonna get herself and the other person tf out of the situation.

💔 - Does forgiveness come easily or with difficulty to this oc? Can they forgive others? What about themselves?

Usually Ebony's quick to forgive others, yeah. She's no doormat so if it was something particularly bad she will be wary, but if someone seems genuinely remorseful then it's not fair to not give them a second chance. There's enough strife in the world, and if someone wants to admit they were wrong and fix their problems, then she's gonna give them the space to improve.

Exceptions will be made if someone seriously hurt a loved one tho. Sorry but if she knew how neglected Noire felt by Shadowheart for so much of act 2 in BG3, then Ebony would NOT be happy with Shadowheart! She's still pissed at Volo tbh. no comment bout mystra lol. If you hurt her family, her friends, loved ones, sorry but you did earn the ire of someone who is very difficult to earn the ire of.

She's much harsher on her own mistakes then anyone else's though, really bad at forgiving herself. She holds herself to such high standards that she thinks she really needs to hold herself accountable for even the smallest problems. ebony does not forgive herself

❗- What are the highest priorities to this oc (at a point in their life of your choosing)?

Honestly, throughout any adventure she gets stuck on, her priority is just Keep Everyone Safe. Whether that's keeping enough spell slots for heals in bg3, or buffing everyone so they can kill the enemies before the enemies hurt them in the spiral, or talking down conflicts before it gets out of control... She just wants everyone to be safe and happy. Thinking too much more in terms of that 'saving the world' stuff is gonna stress her tf out, and girl hasn't learned she can be a bit selfish so she's not rlly gonna be prioritizing her own desires while so much is on the line

☔ - How does this oc feel about rain?

She loves it!!! The second she realizes it's rainy, she's gonna put on some stompy rainboots and her cutest rainjacket so she can head outside, dance around in the rain! She loves the feeling of rain droplets hitting her and splashing in the puddles while she's moving around. And when she's done with that, nothing is cozier when you get dried off then curling up with a good book and a hot drink near the window and listening to the pitter patter of the rain outside.

She also tends to wind up giving herself a cold but it's worth <3

⚡ - Does this oc have any unusual or “irrational” fears?

Ebony's got a lot of anxiety in general, especially in regards to failure or not measuring up. I dunno if she has any specific ones that are weird though? She's moreso just eternally nervous about everything

🐰 - How huggable is this oc?

The most huggable. Please hug her. Or just wait for her to hug you first, because she will. The most physically affectionate girl you will meet.

📓 - Do you associate any quotes or lyrics with this oc?

"But surely there’s a bud that struggles yet to bloom, it’s Bound together and barely breaking. Oh what a fool, a tragedy!"

~ Will Stetson's english cover of Kyu-kurarin

[burdistheword-blog1]

Ima... Ima just rant for a second.

Can someone please explain (don't actually explain please im just ranting) how me posting a random comment about where ive seen them from on a video of some famous actor getting arrested (in this case I saw them in one of the music videos of my childhood boy band, durning which period of time in my life I CONSUMED every inch of material there was to of the band) because I thought it was funny that my brain years later was able to recognize and remember such a random fact. And said as much in my comment. That was the only thing I mentioned in this comment.

(This actor is also a rather popular 🌽⭐️ which although I remember hearing about, didn't actually know they were popular (because as an Ace who's been sexually repulsed her ENTIRE teen and adult life, I've never had the desire to search or watch said adult films, however in the behind the scenes of making the music video one of the band members mentioned it) which is a fact that is more important to people then I realized)

Anyways. This one comment somehow turned me into a straight male who although had enough 🌽 knowledge to remember names was also to insecure to admit it and instead decided to fucking lie about something that would be so easy to debunk by just looking up the fucking music video casting credits. And also brought An onslaught of masterbastion jokes that gave me such a strong ick

(Which admittedly isn't my brand of humor)

Now look. It's not that deep, I get it and I know I'm being extremely sensitive and overreacting. I know, I don't need to be told that... but I like most people generally hate being mis-gendered and like on said app my username literally starts with Mz (a fancy spelled ms) as well as has She/her attached to it and my profile picture is of DAVID TENNANT WEARING A PINK SPARKLEY STAR COSTUME.

How the hell does any of that SCREAM STRAIGHT MALE.

Anyways, straight modern boys disgust me and if I have to be subjected to one more masterbastion joke I will pore bleach into my eyes. (I'm not saying its wrong or gross, self cares natural and if your down for it be proud. I just once again am most certainly not down and don't enjoy jokes about it when not warranted)

Sorry if that was just nonsensical blabbering, Rant be over ✌️

[fromthefishbowl]

Hi! I know your post earlier wasn't about this, but I've been wondering, is there any actual evidence that Len received the racial abuse she and her friends claimed she got in TOG fandom? I haven't seen any, but it's been thrown around a couple of times as a "gotcha" type of deal. After everything that's gone down, I definitely don't want to trust Len's claims or the claims of her friends. I know you may not know, but you talked about all this recently, so I wanted to ask. Thanks

I have never seen anything, but I admittedly never followed her. However, for the little I have seen, every time she seems to have cried racism, it was because people were asking her questions about what she wrote or were correcting her.

Literally she hid behind the excuse of being harassed by racists to defend her shit opinions and send her followers to harass people - you know... just like how when she accused a Jewish woman of being a Zionist because she dared calling her out on her very open antisemitism, or when she sicked her followers after a Muslim POC because she dared contradict her equally antisemitic bestie, Lazaefair -.

The people who are defending her are still saying "Yes, she's antisemitic and a tankie and wanted to send people to Gulags and denied that the Holodomor happened and said that Ukrainian people deserve to die and harassed actual MENA people and sent death threats and wrote extremely racist stories and lied about her entire identity on which all of her posts were based on but she was harassed by racists because she's a poow bwown woman so we gotta cut her some slack".

She made people pity her by crying racism, but... is there proof, of it? Like any of it? Do we have any posts at all that aren't just her summaries or the drawn out stories that are clearly fictional like the Oppression Rant? Like... people straight up insulting her for being Moroccan and not because she's an idiot spewing bullshit? Are you telling me that this absolute attention whore, who switched ethnicity/identity/background a thousand times to get as much attention as possible, when she received an actually racist remarks in her comments/reblogs, didn't immediately screenshot it and put it up on her blog to show how oppressed she is? You know... like how she did with actual POC when she wanted her followers to harass them because she knew they could have exposed her for being a - very shitty - liar?

And I'm not talking about people who went through her posts and asked her what the hell she was writing about - the only time I did read her posts they gave me a headache, she writes like those pretentious scholars who need to reach a minimum of 2000 words for their work to be published, but they have said everything they needed to say in 300, so now they are adding random shit to make the broth longer, making the article basically incomprehensible -, or people pointing out that what she had written was factually wrong.

No, I want to see the people who supposedly sent her the same racist slurs she used against Marwan or told her that she doesn't deserve any rights because she is Moroccan or some shit. I want to see that, with the name of the blog it came from. It was already not believable that she went through all the shit she claimed to have been through in the Oppression Rant, but after the post exposed her for literally lifting other people's stories of harassment and making them all about herself with spicy spins because she is the center of the universe - the story about the Kurdish women for fuck's sake!!!!! HOW CAN YOU DEFEND SOMEONE WHO DOES THAT SHIT???? - it becomes even more unlikely.

I want to see it. I fucking want to see it. Because it's not possible that she was screenshotting and posting everything to send her followers to harass other people, but not the horrible racist treatment she supposedly received and that makes her a poow widdle victim.

[talkingbl]

This was an interesting read. Thought I'd give my perspective on OP's comments as well as my own feedback on the show/the guys. Gotta keep in mind that some part of what we saw in the Safe House was acting.

Luke - OP mentions Luke comes across as "bro-ey." I could not feel any different. IMO, Luke seemed like he was just trying to find a place to fit in on that cast. I've watched his YouTube content and have seen clips of him hanging out with his friends and he just seems like an open-minded, kindhearted guy. I really liked Luke in Safe House and only wish he was more included in the main shenanigans. He seemed a bit distant from the others until Tay arrived.

But to comment on OP's mention of Luke seeming "bro-ey," I honestly feel that's just code for too American. There's nothing in the way he acted on the show that would lead me to conclude that he's a frat boy type. I can only assume that the way he talks and looks (very western, embodying western male beauty standards) is what leads OP to this conclusion.

Khaotung - Blended into the background to me. I guess I never realized how introverted he is because, admittedly, I haven't seen much of him outside of his roles.

Gun - These days Gun feels a little more reserved. Years back, he was always smiling and playing around with someone but on Safe House (and honestly in other things too) he seems to have closed that side to him off. That said, he definitely embodied the phi role in the house and it was interesting to see that side to him.

Earth - Not sure what to feel about Earth after Safe House. I thought it was interesting that the other guys all seemed to hover around him a bit? Well really he and Mix. They seemed to form sort of an 'in crowd' and I found that very interesting. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Earth gives off an effortless cool vibe. Don't know what to feel about some things he was alleged to have said to Mix (didn't see them myself so I can't comment). All in all, after Safe House, I'm not sure if I have more interest in Earth or not though.

Pond - Pond is Pond. Literally from his social media posts to interviews to Safe House, he is the same exact person every time. He embodies Aquarius energy more so than Luke and even Neo.

Phuwin - The baby energy was very strong with Phuwin. Not much to say but that he came across as an ambivert with little issue carrying a conversation with any one person in the house.

Tay - I mean this in the best possible way; what the fuck goes on with Tay. He's like always on 1,000 when everyone else is on 12. This is how I know he's a decent actor because I only see Tay get wild like that on select reality shows. Either way, it gets me excited to see him in more series where he can show more of his range. I need him to play a father next. If Gun has nurturing parent energy, Tay has corny dad energy.

Mix - Mix just has a very home-y feeling to him (not to be confused with "homie feeling") that I think just put the other guys at ease. He seems a bit vulnerable at times (yet still completely confident/in control) and it comes off well on screen. It was cute seeing him be very affectionate with all the guys but especially seeing his interactions with the guys I've never seen him hang around before. Seriously, I walked away from Safe House seeing it very strongly for LukeMix. The chemistry was just palpable and Luke seemed to genuinely care when Mix's feelings were hurt. I wouldn't mind seeing them co-lead a romance, and I may even write the story myself lmao.

Neo - I truly think that what we saw with Neo is who he is to some extent. He's very fun and I think the other guys were very much drawn to him because it's like he doesn't have to try to be entertaining. I think people see his genuineness and are attracted to it.

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

ZP Fanfiction Review

Hellooo internet! Welcome to GAAAAAAYYY THEORY-

I am so sorry.

Anyway, welcome to what I can only call a test run for a series I've decided to start. For more info, I'd recommend reading my previous post. To give a brief explanation, I criticize written works done by others in order to help myself and others improve, and recently I've turned my attention to ZP fanfiction (as you do). This series is in no way meant to shame anyone or anything like that. I am simply stating my opinion, and anyone reading this can take whatever they want from it.

Now, while I do take requests, for the first few of these posts, I put the titles of random fics that I have read, and pulled one out at random. Since I admittedly haven't asked these writers for permission, if one of them contact me and wish for me to take a review down, I will. Do not send any negative bullshit to anyone whose fics I review.

With that said, I hope you enjoy, because today we're going to look at a fanfiction posted on Wattpad by a Tumblr user known as @thiccdemonlover69-blog. Now, something I want to make clear is that this was written back in 2017. This isn't representative of this user (who I will refer to as TDL) 's current writing abilities. The fic in question is this one here,

So, originally, I was going to do a full synopsis of the story, but I ultimately decided against it. Not only did it make the post longer than it needed to be, but knowing myself, I would undoubtedly leave something out by mistake. Therefore, I encourage you to read the story before continuing this review. I will be going through it chapter by chapter, and I will give my thoughts on each one.

*****************

Chapter 1 "A Normal Day... or so Damian thought "

Not too much to say here since this is an introductory chapter and not much really happens in it. Because of this, however, I thought that I would take the opportunity to address what I already predict will be an elephant in the room.

Like most of us fans, TDL has their Headcanons and theories about the ZP characters. You'll notice in the story that Satan and Damian have a slightly different relationship than in the comic, as Satan is more present in his son's life here. This is just an example of what I'm talking about. Now, I actually don't have a problem with this by itself. I'm all for writers including their own unique ideas in fanfiction, however, I have a problem with some of the changes made by TDL to the characters and setting. There's nothing egregious here, but as we go on, I think you'll be able to understand what I mean.

One positive for this chapter is that it serves its' purpose as an intro very well. We get an idea of the upcoming conflict without it being spelt out.

Chapter 2 "At Hell No. 2 (School)"

Ok, so overall this chapter in itself isn't terrible considering how it introduces the relationships between various characters here and further sets up the upcoming conflict. However, I have to ask some questions about the characters. First, I've noticed that throughout the story, certain characters that you'd expect to make an appearance I guess just don't exist here. Sahara and Narissa (Dame's mum), for instance, have apparently been snapped by Thanos. Meanwhile, some characters have noticeably different personalities. Jack, for instance, is much less shy and passive and has more or less taken on Zill's personality. Also, I guess he and Dame are buds now. Kayla... is a whole topic that I will touch on later. Eli wasn't introduced in the comic, and the best we have is his character sheet, so I guess he's ok here? Addi is in character, Autumn barely exists, Zill... just kind of exists? Finally, Dame has had a few weird changes to him that I'll touch on in a bit.

Ch. 3 "A Not-So-Normal School day"

Ok, so let's talk about Kayla real quick, shall we?

A common sin committed by inexperienced writers is the tendency to villanize characters in order to push the narrative forward. In this story, Kayla is practically cartoonish in how awful she is. She's physically harmful, a bitch, a homophobe, and is overpossesive of Zill. I get the idea that TDL doesn't like Kayla, because to me it seems like she was turned into a bitchy Leeson. Now, Kayla in cannon can get frustrated and angry at times, but for the most part, she's a nice person. She's the type to defend others against bullying, and would never bully someone else. Not only that, but I don't buy this version of Kayla because canonically she's scared of Dame. His appearance alone is enough to make her yeet herself across the room. If she did something such as knocking something of his off his desk, she'd probably panic.

I can only imagine two reasons why she was changed in such a way. One, to have Damian not crush on her. Now, if this is the case, I don't think villainizing Kayla is necessary. You can just say that Damian outgrew his crush on her and be done with it. Two, is to create drama. If this is the case, is Kayla really the best candidate for the drama causer here? I wouldn't think so, and you could probably replace Kayla with someone who'd be more likely to bully someone, like Rusty or Baltimore or something.

Aside from Kayla, another problem I want to mention is that art class scene. Addi's mum getting a minor to pose nude in front of his class is actually kind of creepy, and I don't believe that it would be aloud.

Chapter 4. "The Second, more worst bully"

First of all, that title could use a rewrite.

This chapter mainly exists so the story can show how much of a bitch Kayla is now, and I've already spoken about that. I will mention some positives, however. Something I like in this story is whenever TDL adds in little details like characters having secret handshakes or characters eating dinosaur nuggets. I know this seems small, but this random little specifics give the story a cute, quirky charm that I am here for.

Chapter 5. "The Moment Damian has Been Waiting for "

Not too much goes on in this chapter. We get some funny bit of dialogue ("Ooh, is that drama I see" made me crack up) and a wierd scene where Dame is suddenly One Punch Man, and he cracks Jack's skull open by simply bonking him on the back of the head.

Since there's not much to say, I want to take the opportunity to talk about Damian in this story. First, again, I don't have an issue with writers adding in their ideas to their fics. The whole thing with him being a cross dresser? Cool. That's it. That is my entire thought on that.

There are some other changes that confuse me, however. For instance, the ADHD is integrated really weirdly. It gets brought up at really random times, nothing is really done with it, and overall it just seems to serve as a reason for Dame acting hyper. The story could have just had one line that said "Damian has ADHD " and nothing would have changed.

Another thing, and this isn't something exclusive to TDL, but apparently Damian is homosexual. Not bi, just gay. This is a change I actually see a lot of the time with Dame, and I don't know why. Like... is it so difficult to imagine him liking more than one gender? Do you think that he needs to be gay in order to be in a homosexual relationship? Because he doesn't. Bisexuals can do the same thing as gays. It's just such a random change that it just bugs me.

There's also the fact that Damian is apparently amazing at everything. He's an A plus student, a great actor, a great artist, etc. I'm not sure what TDL is going for with this angle. It's something else that just seems random, because the only thing that this does is make teachers confused about why Dame is sad and it makes other characters freak out about how brilliant Damian is.

Chapter 6. "The Date"

Ok, let's all just admit it. Damian going "RIBS RIBS RIBS RIBS..." is in one way or another a fucking mood for everyone. Don't you fucking lie to me.

The interactions between Eli and Dame are mostly cute, and we get some funny dialogue here too. The one issue I have is something not exclusive to this chapter, and it's how Damian is kind of treated like a child. Characters talk about him like his a little kid, and even the way Eli talks to him to calm him down in this chapter is (to me) reminiscent of a babysitter dealing with a hyperactive kid. I bring this up now because I want you all to remember this. It will get creepy later on...

Chapter 7. "The crazy household of Damian "

Easily my favorite chapter.

We still get bits where Dame is kind of treated like a child, but it's barely noticeable here. TDL is actually pretty good at writing wholesome scenes and scenes where a couple characters are just hanging out. This chapter actually reminded me of events that happened in my own life, so believe it or not, I actually got a nostalgia hit reading this. This chapter just put a smile on my face. Shame that it came right before the worst chapter. Buckle in kids.

Chapter "It's Time... and Absolutely Everything goes to shit"

What a fitting title!

First, let's talk about how not a lot in this chapter makes sense. Ok, so everyone knows that Kayla doesn't like Dame and shit could go down if they ever cross paths. And yet, they bring Damian to a party at Kayla's house, and act surprised when shit hits the fan. This happens again when Damian tries to talk to Kayla, and she spits in his drink. I don't know what any of these characters were expecting. There's a weird focus on food in this chapter. Kayla ironically becomes a badass because she decks someone and immediately follows that up by heading off to pop lock and drop it on the dance floor. Zill exists, and he's drunk. He makes out with Damian because.... Kayla's a homophobe? I think that's the reason? Jack literally gets into a fucking wrestling match with Kayla. Rusty is just here. Eli disappears for a while, and I guess Addi just teleported out of the party because the only contribution that he makes is that he messes up the time.

Ok, my favorite scene here is when Dame is like "oh I don't wanna dance bc I sad" and Rusty just shows up for some reason and remarks very loudly that Damian is good at ballet. This info is so shocking, the DJ, who somehow heard this over the music, turns off the tunes, there's awkward silence, and then everyone laughs at Damian. No. I don't get it either. Like... how did anyone hear Rusty, how fucking loud was Rusty talking, how did people know who Rusty was referring to, why is the concept that a dude does ballet so shocking, especially when you'd think that the fact that he's the antichrist is more shocking? Like... am I just having a fucking stroke right now?

Oh, and remember how I mentioned how Damian is treated like a child in this story? Remember how Damian is a teenager, and in other words, a minor? So, apparently, not only do we learn that Damian once got a boner but his father spanking him, but apparently Styx, an adult, has had sex with Damian on multiple occasions. And yes, this info is revealed in throwaway lines. If you listen closely, you can faintly make out the sound of someone screaming "FBI, OPEN UP!"

Granted, TDL was a teen at the time of writing this, so no big whoop on their part. Still doesn't make this any less creepy.

Oh yeah, and Damian fucking dies at the end except he doesn't because plot twist, bitch! We were reading a Steven Universe fanfiction the entire time! Ok, no, this is actually another Headcanon by TDL, but st this rate, between the Headcanons which anyone who doesn't know TDL would be confused by and the characters acting weirdly, I am honestly having trouble saying for sure if this fic takes place in the comic's setting, or in some type of AU.

For brevity's sake, I'll just go over the last two chapters. Tldr, Damian is fine, Lucifer gets Kayla expelled, Kayla get tortured, Lucifer is super happy with himself, and everyone lives happily ever after.

*************************

If I had to sum up my feelings on this story, the first half for me is a mixed bag. It has its' glaring problems, but the humor and writing style make the fic endearing and enjoyable. If the story ended at "the Date ", I would have thoroughly enjoyed it. But then everything just kind of falls off the rails. Stuff happens because... well I guess just because. We get an unintentionally creepy ending to an otherwise wholesome trip, and the Headcanons included here are put in so randomly with no explanation that I can only imagine what someone who didn't have any context to them would say.

The thing is, I think that this fic actually gives a good example of a lot of problems beginners have. I'm certain that TDL nowadays could write a better story, and they certainly have potential. Hell, if one were to fix a few things in here, this fic would be a lot better.

Still, I hope that this review gives you at least a couple ideas of what to look for in some of your own stories. Also, feel free to tell me what you think.

I apologize for wasting your time.

- ATOUN

[janiedean]

Hey, lately I've seen a lot of people hate on book!Tyrion and talk about what a terrible person he is and wanted to hear your take on that, because I don't really get it. I think that he is a really interesting character in the books, more so than in the second half of the show, if you ask me.

(sorry for replying this late I needed time to get to it and stuff happened haha)

soooo... tldr: I think *tumblr* has a shitload of issues with tyrion that are 90% rooted in the fact that this website thinks hating men is cool/that men are the worst always *and* also only cries ableism when it’s convenient or to call ableist things that are not in fact such (ie ‘omg if you use stupid is ableist’ which... automatically implies that anyone with a disability is *stupid* and the likes), and in tyrion’s case there’s.... an overlap of those specific issues added to the fact that since he’s a general fan favorite regardless of any fault of his then it’s fine to trash on him. going in depth on it:

now, there’s admittedly a difference in between book and show tyrion in the sense that the show version is a lot less gray and has cut on a lot of material in that sense, but like...... it’s d&d who after they decided to chunk the book storyline couldn’t write him properly so I’m not touching that topic because it’s not *his* issue, it’s theirs, and as you said... well obv. he’s more interesting in the books, because he has a lot more layers and he actually does something post-asos instead of rehashing the same three jokes that aren’t even on par with *his* book humor because he’s too smart for d&d to pull off correctly (I mean from S6 to S8 they managed to give him good lines in... the finale? PROBABLY? but they can’t write him, it’s their problem);

when it comes to book!tyrion, he obviously has faults same as 99,9% of the characters in these books, but all of those faults are... absolutely understandable given his background? I mean, so he hates his father and his sister, has fairly unhealthy coping methods and that got worse after asos, but... he comes from a lifetime of parental/familial abuse that crowned with tywin forcing him to rape his then-wife who actually did love him and convincing him he was unlovable, cersei was molesting him in the cradle and the only person who cared about him outside the uncles brigade which wasn’t around all the time was jaime who went off to get traumatized for himself at thirteen, and that just because of how he looks and for his disability, do we ask him to be a perfectly adjusted person? not really, and actually the fact that he tries to be better than 99% of his family all the time and that he actually has a lot of empathy for disadvantaged people and empathy in general says a lot about how he’s a pretty damn decent person, not a terrible one;

now, I think that this fandom on tumblr has ten problems with him because in order, the fact that he’s a man already puts him on a disadvantaged level but that’s common to most guys in this fandom like on tumblr in this fandom if a female character fucks up and a male character fucks up, the latter will be called out upon it way more than than the female character. also, abused male characters don’t get recognition for that 99% of the time. but that also means that his disability gets brushed off/ignored because since **according to tumblr standards** it’s not stopping him from doing most of what he’d like and no one takes it into account, his abuse gets brushed off/ignored because WELL HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE, the fact that he’s a man means he has male privilege and whatever the fuck else and since he’s technically (in the book at least) Not Standard Attractive then he doesn’t even get the shitload of excuses hot people get in virtue of being hot;

also, there’s a certain attitude I really don’t like at all whatsoever to describe the fact that in his POVs he always goes about how much he hates his father/cersei or WHERE DO THE WHORES GO in adwd as whining/being unable to get over it/dying of self-pity but like.......... that’s..... how he copes with knowing he’s been treated like shit? like, thing is: in a literary genius foil with his brother who has no idea of the crap he was unjustly subjected to if not very subconsciously and whose coping method is *going away* and/or forgetting about things and/or not thinking about them, tyrion’s coping method is never letting himself forget it and honestly.... so he thinks shit about his father and sister all the time? tough luck, they’re his abusers, ofc he does. he can’t get over thinking no one will love him because of his looks? tough luck, he was told that all his life and when he found someone he thought did tywin organized that rouse so he’d think she was with him for money and he forced him to rape her which is also called rape by proxy so he’s also a rape victim and he was thirteen? wow, if I were him ie someone whose first advice to a main character in these books was ‘never forget about your weaknesses and make them your armor so people can’t hurt you with them’ then I also would be thinking about that all the time. he’s an abuse victim and he’s not away from his abusers until the end of asos, what are we expecting, that he’d get over it? actually it’s a way healthier method than jaime’s because at least he knows he’s been wronged all along and he can see both c. and his father for the assholes they are but at least he knows that and he harbors no illusions about them even if he still kind of wants them to love him same as most people would, but like... that’s not whining? that’s stuff that it’s absolutely normal he should be thinking? also, the where do the whores go thing in adwd is....... basically he just learned that his biggest trauma was not what he believed it was and he has to reconcile himself with the fact that a) tysha never not loved him, b) jaime was in on it even if he subconsciously knows that he also was a victim in that ploy (when he dreams about killing him in adwd he’s crying, sooooo) and he has to know because jaime told him out of *guilt* and he damn well knows it, like he’s re-elaborating the entire thing, obviously he’s fixated on it??? I mean the moment I figured out a specific thing that I hadn’t realized about an unhealthy relationship I had with someone I spent a month thinking about it every other moment for a month and it was nowhere near that same level of terrible, and I’m surprised that he thinks about that for all of adwd? like, I find those justifications very iffy and incredibly dismissive of a) his trauma b) his abuse victim status;

also there’s the whole HE KILLED TYWIN thing but..... I honestly am baffled it’s even a thing fandom thinks he should pay for or anything. like, the problem is that he killed *shae* in that context, and that was also out of feeling betrayed after just learning of how it really went with tysha, and that’s why he’s on the downward spiral/his lowest point in adwd, but.... tywin? really? like tywin is an asshole period, he abused him all his life, he traumatized the shit out of him for his entire life and made him grow up thinking he was unlovable and outright told him he wanted to drown him, and not even counting what tywin did to *him*, we’re talking about someone who went and calmly planned the red wedding the moment he realized there was no way he could take out robb without treachery and didn’t feel particularly bothered by it on a moral level, and we’re sad that he died or think that tyrion has to pay for it because he killed his abuser who also never really was a father to him in any sense of the word? like what the fuck does tyrion owe tywin? literally nothing and tbqh it’s tywin narratively reaping the seeds of what he’s sown if tyrion goes and offs him. like, a lot of people re fixed on this thing about OH HE KILLED HIS FATHER HE DOESN’T DESERVE REDEMPTION but the narrative doesn’t ask it of him. he has to make peace and find his own redemption for killing shae at that point, not tywin. tywin had it coming since the moment he showed up. like, saying he’s a horrible person for offing someone who only ever abused the shit out of him doesn’t really fly as far as I’m concerned;

at this point we get to ‘okay but in adwd he does a lot of questionable things’, but..... a) he’s supposed to be at his lowest narrative point and a lot of people have done a lot of questionable things at their lowest narrative point in these books, I mean if I think theon can have a nice life and get better after his WF stint I can think that tyrion can have a nice life and get better after his adwd stint, b) it’s nothing he’ll be proud of when he pulls his shit together (and he already had started by the end of adwd) but I mean... it’s nothing worse than most people who have to pull their shit together in these books have done lately, like honestly writing him off as a horrible person because of his adwd stint reaaaaally reeks to me of double standard which is based on the fact that no one around here wants to recognize that he’s an abuse victim and his reactions are valid and that yes his disability singles him out and is the reason people target him and not his merits or demerits. I mean he even spells it out, he’s been on trial for being a dwarf all his life/everyone already judged him for that regardless of his actual faults, and that’s not him being delusional, it’s the truth. he’s a person who certainly has faults same as anyone else but guess what a lot of people around fandom do what tywin does and exacerbate them if you ask my opinion;

(that also can be seen when it comes to what people think of the guy being shipped around because believe me I wish I hadn’t seen people saying he couldn’t be a good option for sansa because he’s not the beautiful gallant stainless dude she deserves, and I’m saying it as a sansan shipper first but come the fuck on) (other than that tyrion/bronn is ofc the superior ship but nvm me)

also there’s the whole thing where people decided that since tyrion is a general fandom fave in between the w.org/reddit crowd/general audience then obviously if the dudebros (ugh i can’t with that generalization anymore sure af freefolk is less puritan than tumblr from what I see) like him then he has to also incarnate the Worst Type Of Male Fan Of Asoiaf In Existence and like........ now, I don’t doubt that when it comes to the *general audience* there’s a lot of misconceptions going around plus a lot of his character faults get ignored (I mean when I went on w.org the first time the first thread I ran into was like ‘wow sansa is a bitch for not kneeling at once when they married and making him feel like shit’ I mean that’s a situation where you should feel bad for both but calling her a bitch for not wanting to kneel while marrying a guy she was forced to who also belonged to the family that killed her brother and mother and her father too is like......... come on seriously?) but that’s the same with most fandom faves in any fandom, it doesn’t mean that if some of his fans see him with rose-tinted glasses then on this side of the pond we have to decide he sucks when he doesn’t, and as I said time and time again..... do we remember the last time that in any fandom the general audience favorite character who sells the merchandise more than anyone else is a disabled abuse victim who doesn’t shut up about it and tries to be better than anyone else thinks them able to? because I don’t and while tyrion is not top five asoiaf for me I’m very glad that *he* is the general audience favorite. so they don’t get the point or see him with rose-tinted glasses? happens to fandom faves in general, but it doesn’t mean that he’s a terrible person in the text just because the dudebro crowd (if we wanna call it like that but meh) likes him. so what, he is the audience fave? good, I’m beyond fine with him being the audience fave. I honestly don’t think it’s an argument that should even be brought up because ‘that character’s fans are shit so the character is automatically shit because we judged the fans on their supposed gender’ is not an argument. *shrug*

tldr: I think people on here exaggerate his flaws (that everyone has) and are bitchy about the fact that he is the general audience favorite because how dare a guy who’s as far as we know cishet (which is already bad for tumblr standards), not standard hot (crime!!), has a disability (which gets ignored 90% of the time when discussing his privilege or lack thereof), is an abuse victim who won’t let you forget it and you can’t deny/headcanon differently (which is a thing tumblr can’t accept - I mean, men being abuse victims, and with hc differently I mean that people outright deny that idk jaime was one because he doesn’t realize he was so you have to actually read into the text to realize it, but they can decide he’s not because it requires effort to put it together - or deny sandor was one because we don’t have his pov and we only see his destructive coping methods and so on - with tyrion they can’t because he never lets you forget he was and admitting it is apparently hard, also one of his abusers is a woman and We Do Not Admit That Women Can Be Abusers On Tumblr Dot Com) and who has fucked up but not worse than most people in these books be the audience favorite? WE JUST DON’T KNOW. personally I think he’s pretty damn great and an amazingly conceived/written character (I mean in a series where all the characters weren’t so well-rounded and I didn’t have other people I latched on before that he’d have totally been top three material for me he just got unlucky to be in the one series where everyone is well-rounded and there’s people that I resonate personally more with but really he’s an amazing character all around) and I can’t wait for him to pull his shit together in the next book and possibly get the nice ending he deserves along with better dialogue than d&d gave him, but from there to say he’s a horrible person.... geez. my list of horrible persons in these books runs very long and he’s nowhere near it. ofc he has faults but no character in these books is faultless except maybe gilly, and not even people under the age of twelve are faultless in these books come on.