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clubdionysus · 4 months

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[BAD DECISION #29] 'Daddy'

warnings: polaroid taking, titty compliments <3, teasing, 'daddy' but not seriously lol, busan invite!!! yaaaaay!!!

a/n: last update for 2nite cos next week will be busan hehe

wc: 8k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

A soft smile rests on your lips as you wake up; the heat of Jeongguk's body keeping you warm beneath your duvet. His arm is looped over your waist, and while there's nothing inherently romantic about it, you find yourself indulging in how lovely it feels. Safe. Snug. Stable.

He eventually stirs a little later than you, squeezing you closer while his legs stretch out a little bit, and nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck. Groans.

"Morning," he says, voice gravelly, throat a little parched from the dry winter air. Your humidifier had run out of water in the night, but neither of you had been woken by the small beep that would have told you so.

Your hand drops to rest over his, and he doesn't really think much of it as he spreads his fingers for yours to sink between. It's nice, the way his body just sort of accepts yours in any capacity; the same way yours does for him. You wouldn't say you're holding hands (even if you are). Would just say you're connected. Fostering a feeling of togetherness (even if you aren't).

"Morning," you hum gently, voice also a little croaky.

Jeongguk always thinks you sound cute like this. Likes your morning voice.

You like his, too. It's a little deeper than usual. Breathy. It's just 'cause the air has dried out his throat overnight, and his vocal cords can't vibrate at their full capacity. There's logic to his lethargic-sounding voice, but you ignore it all, 'cause you like the excuse of him just being sexy.

And yet despite the attraction that comes with a husky voice, the overwhelming adoration that irritates your heart as it bubbles through your veins comes in the form of intimacy.

Jeongguk's voice sounds like this because he slept in your bed.

He sounds like this, because he feels safe enough around you to let down any and all guards.

Sure, you're no longer hunter gathers from prehistoric times, and sleeping doesn't hold the same weight as it would have done for your ancestors. There are locks on your doors in one of the safest nations in the world. To sleep doesn't mean to risk death - and yet the cautionary tales of humanity run within your veins. You're only alive because one night, thousands of years ago, someone stayed awake throughout the night to ensure their family's safety.

Falling asleep together? Well, it only confirms one thing: you're a safety zone for one another.

Or maybe not. Guess you'll never truly know.

It's all very sickening, how sweetly you think of one another. Would never admit to it. Both as bad as one another in that regard. Made for one another, some may say.

"You stayed," you say, as if Jeongguk would ever leave.

"You know I always stay," he mumbles. He's been in your bed enough times for you to know this. Why you'd ever think he'd do otherwise is beyond him. "Plus I like your shampoo. Wanna use it."

His sleepy eyes are still shut. He's only entertaining this conversation 'cause he enjoys entertaining you.

"Show up without warning, claim my bed as your own, and now you're after a shower, too?" You affectionately scold him. He squeezes you a little tighter.

"What's mine is yours, remember?" he says, echoing a statement from the night before, lips brushing against your neck so subtly that you wonder if he even realises.

He does.

"We're not married," you tell him, to which he just shrugs. Holds you even tighter, still.

"We could be."

"Would you make me sign a prenup?"

"No."

"Okay," you airily agree. It's all facetious, and carries no weight. Is just fun to joke about from time to time. Something you've done for a while, now. Will always pretend like it repulses you. "We can get married. I'll rinse you in the divorce, though."

He pouts against your skin. Huffs. "That's not fair, B."

He'd never do that to you.

"Then don't marry me," you tease, as if it's even an option. "Problem solved."

Jeongguk doesn't like this scenario.

Also doesn't like that he's started joking about marriage, 'cause he knows it's only because his brain is doing that stupid little thing it likes to do whenever he has a crush.

See, Jeongguk is bad at the whole casual thing. Made a marriage pact with Hayun before he'd even fucked her. Fancied a friend in high school and ended up studying the same optional classes as her 'cause she told him that he should. It's why he was late applying for uni. Didn't have the right set of subjects studied to be accepted onto his course, so had to take a couple extra exams.

So now he's joking with you about getting married, 'cause he's accidentally thought about it a couple of times, and doesn't wanna be the only one of you thinking about it.

It's not like they were big dreams - just little daydreams, small snippets of a 'what if' . You hardly even feature in the daydreams. Apart from that one where he imagined you both walking into a reception room after the nuptials to a crowd of your friends cheering - but, like, everyone has silly little thoughts like that! Or at least, that's what he likes to tell himself.

He's been speaking with Yoongi a lot lately about wedding plans. Decides that's what's corrupted him. He's still young. Still single. He's not ready for any of that. Not in the slightest.

"Wouldn't wanna marry you anyways," he says. "You're so not my type."

"Gguk," you deadpan. "I can feel your boner digging into my ass."

It's not a lie. It's also not because of you, you know this. Know that morning is a particularly... hard time for him.

"It's morning," he pouts. "Not my fault. I'd get a boner even if I was hugging... I don't know. A pillow. Or Jimin."

"You'd get a boner for Jimin? Does mean a threesome-"

"No," he mumbles quickly, his sleepy voice making him sound so sweet and tepid, despite the burning heat beneath his ribs. "Shush, baby. No threesome."

Baby .

A term of endearment reserved for only the most intimate of endeavours, Jeongguk has never called you it outside of sex. He knows this. You know this.

Neither of you mention it.

You simply just pretend like he never said it; like your heart isn't beating so fast you're scared it might stop.

The rule of no pet names was put in place by you; ignored by him.

Disco Ball? Fine. Whatever.

Byeol? Excusable.

B? Well, it kinda makes sense.

But baby ? God, it gets you all sorts of fucked up.

You're able to ignore the way it makes you feel, usually. Too distracted by his lips, or the need to keep yourself from coming undone. Like this, when you're being kept warm by his body, but his touches are as innocent as his voice is sleepy, it's different.

For the first time in a long time, you feel a little bit scared. He's so good with your fears, but they still exist. You've just been holding a pillow over your eyes for a few months.

The pillow is gone now; just you, him, and the cinematic-scale fears your harbour in your heart.

"A threesome would be good for you," you say, not really believing it. "You're wasted on just one girl."

He squeezes you a little tighter, for the billionth time within a fifteen-minute window. "No, I'm not."

It's lovely to indulge in such a declaration.

It means nothing, in the grand schemes of things - just that Jeongguk thinks you're worthy of his body - and yet it feels a little weightier than it really should do. It's almost as if there are rocks tied to his words, but they're disguised in pretty satin scarves, wrapped up and hidden away, only felt when they get tied to you and drag you down. Head in the clouds, feet on the ground typa shit. The kinda feeling that makes you wanna write poetry, but you haven't written anything of any substance since Seokjin.

There's a quiet sadness to the way that your broken heart always seems to spill onto pages of notebooks, but the things you really want to shout about? The things that make you smile? They never make it onto the pages of your journals.

You keep these feelings all bottled up. Wax sealed. A daisy dried into the imprint. Just for you. Yours, all yours. No one can steal them that way. They're safe.

Like you are right now; Jeongguk holding you in such a way that lets you know you'll never be truly alone, as long as he's in your life.

You're grateful.

And it terrifies you.

You know that Jeongguk is withholding something that will only hurt you.

Have done since he showed up at your place after the last Dionysus night.

Should you rip it like a band-aid, or apply pressure to stop the bleeding? It's not a choice you wanna have to make.

Yet you know you need to.

Quietly, you muster up your courage. Untangle your fingers from his. Remain in your little spoon position, but busy your hands with picking off flakes of glitter from your forearm.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" you ask, a little apprehensive of the answer you could get.

Jeongguk's grip on you doesn't ease. He keeps you close, for fear of you wanting to leave. He won't stop you, if you do, but he wants you to know that he wouldn't like that. Wants you close, even if his past actions might push you away.

He sighs. Inhales. Loves the scent of your shampoo. Your sheets. You . Your smell , his brain corrects. Loves the way you smell. Not you. God no. Fuck. No. Not at all-

"Hm?" You encourage a response, knowing that Jeongguk is probably letting his thoughts get away from him.

When things get intimate, Jeongguk's thoughts tend to go awry. He voices the most unhinged shit he thinks of, just because he can. Says stuff he'd never dream of saying otherwise.

Contrarily, in moments of vulnerability (though his thoughts are very much still awry) he stays silent. It's a curious contradiction, but one you've grown used to. You don't mind it. Understand it. Understand him.

Eventually, he speaks up. "You really wanna know?"

Sitting, you twist your body to face his. Back against your bedroom wall, you pull your legs up to your chest. "Mhhm."

Your body language says 'absolutely not', and Jeongguk knows this. Sits up too. Lets your duvet pool around his impossibly slim waist, abs on show, and the freckle on his ribs that you adore so much says 'hello'. A teeny tiny tummy roll (thanks to how awfully he's been eating during exam season) reminds you that he's still human. Still lovely, regardless. Lovely, and warm, and a little forlorn in his gaze.

It doesn't linger on you. Drops to his fingers, which twiddle in his lap. He shakes his head, hair waving ever so delicately around his pretty features. His lips part. Words try to come out. Silence prevails.

"I already know," you say quietly, to which his eyes find you again. You're looking down, now. He hates this. Hates that it's his actions that have caused it. "I mean, I don't know know. I just know something happened with Hayun."

"How?" he asks quietly. He's not rude, nor confrontational. Just curious.

You shrug. "Intuition?"

Got a shit-bag ex who taught me all the warning signs, your brain corrects you.

He seems to accept this answer, so you don't elaborate.

He's quite forthcoming, when he admits to the truth. States it plainly, just like he did with Jimin.

"She kissed me."

"When?" You ask, wanting a timeline. Thinks it might help you understand his thought process if you know the steps that led him to your apartment that night. "Where?"

He battles with his mind for a moment, but his heart wins. Honesty is owed.

"Um, like, outside. The courtyard area-"

"New years," you say quietly, not to interrupt, just to connect dots in your own head. It's embarrassing, the way shame drowns you out. It's like you're spluttering for air, but in reality, you're stoic. Not moving a muscle.

"New years," he echoes. Hates this.Wishes the conversation would just stop. Knows it can't. "We were talking and-"

"I don't need the ins and outs," you interrupt, suddenly changing your mind.

Now that he's giving you specifics, it's just making you feel worse.

That's the most confusing part, you think. You've been feeling fine about things - and yet now, seeing his guilt? Makes you feel like maybe you should feel awful, too.

Jeongguk looks down. Purses his lips. "I know. I just don't want you getting the wrong impression."

"My impression is that you kissed Hayun and then came and fucked me," you sigh, bitterly disappointed. It's exactly what you've been assuming ever since that night, but the confirmation still stings.

"No, see, that is the wrong impression, B," Jeongguk stresses. You're so casual and flippant about things, but Jeongguk knows it was anything but. "It wasn't as linear as that. I know it sounds shitty-"

"It does."

"-But it really wasn't like that at all."

It doesn't matter.

You feel like a cheap consolation prize, regardless. Sort of like Jeongguk only came to you because Hayun decided she didn't want him after all.

It's stupid really. Your pride is getting in the way of things. Your disdain for Hayun? Even more so.

If he explained the what, the when, the why, the who, the how, you'd know that Jeongguk really didn't mean to make so many bad decisions. The only good decision that night, he thinks, was coming to see you - but even that, he managed to fuck right up.

The thing that pushed Jeongguk to leave Dionysus that night?

Wasn't Hayun. Wasn't Danbi rightfully giving him a piece of her mind. Wasn't any of that.

It was a choice that he had made earlier in the night.

Sick of his eyes searching for you in the crowd and always drawing blanks, Jeongguk had gone searching for you. Yeonjun had no clue where you were at this point, and had suggested maybe you'd already left.

You hadn't. Were just in the girls bathroom with Danbi, and some college girls who were in awe of the glitter (so naturally, you were turning them into glitter girlies too, free of charge).

Nonethewiser, Jeongguk tried his luck dipping from the club and heading to the next street over to where the arcade was. Less than a minute walk. Again, you were nowhere to be found - but the machine you had been at was currently free of punters.

Sure, maybe he spent a little too long trying to win the My Melody plushie, but he was drunk , and it felt important . He almost gave up after he got the Cinnamoroll, but couldn't. Had convictions. Was determined. Was gonna get your stupid, adorable plushie no matter what.

And he did.

Of course he did.

He's Jeongguk. There's nothing he can't do, when his heart's really in it.

Looked for you upon his return. Didn't realise you were still in the bathrooms, this time consoling a girl who had just seen her boyfriend kissing one of her friends. Classic, really. A little liquor and so many men seem to think that cheating is okay. Will cry about it being a mistake, but you know damn well the mistake is getting caught in the act, not the act itself.

His final port of call had been the staff room. Tossed the plushie down on the sofa. Sighed. Lamented the way things had changed since you'd last been together in Dionysus. Knew it was all his fault. Wondered if it was really worth it.

If Hayun was worth it.

He knows the answer, now. Had to experience it to really be sure, but he already knew. Deep down, he always has done.

But she'd entered the staff room when he was all sad and doe-eyed over you, and convinced herself that maybe it was her making him feel this way. Invited him to get some air. He'd needed a friend. Had lied to himself so well about the nature of the relationship that she was only ever a friend, he had seemed to think maybe she was. Maybe it'd be good to talk with her.

Lessons have been learned. Mistakes made. Decisions done.

"Should have told you first, I know," he says quietly, eyes on his hands. Looks up at you. Wishes you would look at him. "I'm sorry, Byeol. I'm sorry, and if I could re-do the events of that night, I would - butI I can't, so. This is where we're at. Fucked up, then I fucked you. Kinda poetic, in a way."

You snort out a disapproving laugh. "Yeah, if you were a teenager on tumblr in 2014."

"Not even gonna pretend to know what that is," he says, genuinely clueless to what a tumblr is, and why 2014 is relevant. "But B, we both know I didn't come here that night with the intention of fucking you, I never... Look, I'm sorry that I let it happen. All I can do is promise you that it won't happen again."

Men have promised they'd move mountains for you before. You'll believe it when you see it.

"What won't happen again?" you ask, a little petulantly. "You fucking me, or you kissing Hayun?"

Being childish right now will do no one any favours.

Will make you feel vindicated for a split second, mind you.

"Well..." Jeongguk begins, but stops himself from finishing.

He means Hayun.

Is done with it. Done with her.

Hates what's become of your friendship since her return. The loss of your closeness aches more than the residual pining feelings for her have ached in the last year. The way he once felt about her is not representative of who he is now.

"Well?"

"Well, kissing is intimate," Jeongguk says with a curt sense of authority. He's speaking your opinions as if they're universal truths.

"It is," you agree.

"I don't really think it's appropriate to be intimate with a girl my best friend hates."

"Hate is a strong word," you say, hiding a smile.

"I think it's just the right strength, here."

You know what Jeongguk is saying. He's speaking in tongues, but you're well acquainted with his. It's easy to decipher.

Yet you're an insolent little brat when you want to be, and so you twist his words. Not to be malicious, just to get confirmation.

"Hayun told me she was your best friend," you tell him. "And I'm pretty sure she hates me, so... you're saying we shouldn't kiss?"

"You rarely ever let me kiss you anyways, B," Jeongguk reminds you with a fond smile. Thinks he'd settle with never kissing you again if it meant he still got to banter with you. "But no, you idiot. Hayun says a lot of shit. You shouldn't listen to her. You're my best friend."

He's heard it with his own ears. Had always shrugged her mean comments off. Hasn't been able to shake the way he heard her speak about you. Tried, for a while. Just ended up making him feel like a shitty friend.

You deserve people in your corner. If Danbi was acting like besties with someone who had been cruel about you, he'd be pissed off. Thinks she had every right to criticise him in the way she had on that evening.

Despite being at his little party last night, Danbi had barely spoken to him.

Had looked at his neck. Raised her brows. Asked, "Well, are you being nice to her? I sure hope you are. And I sure hope those are from her, otherwise you're in for a world of pain, my friend," and then walked away before Jeongguk could even reply.

Danbi scares him.

Is pretty sure she scares Tae, too, but he seems to get off on that. To each their own, and all that.

"B, I don't wanna fight with you," he says, holding out his hand.

For reasons you can't, or simply won't, explain, you accept it. Toy with his fingers as your hands rest on top of your duvet. Trace his knuckles. Admire his tattoos. Relish in the serenity of him.

"Don't wanna fight, either," you sigh. Glance up at him, only to realise he's looking at you with such crestfallen need for forgiveness that it feels like the only thing you can do. "And, hey, maybe it was good. Me being mad at you gave me a little push in the right direction."

"Oh?" Jeongguk questions. His skin feels all hot. Prickly. He doesn't like it. "How so?"

You think nothing of it as you admit to the date you had last night. Jeongguk asks for his name. Nods when you tell him it. Asks for specifics. His career path - "sounds boring" ; his hobbies - "meh" ; his charms - "I have a dimple, too. See? Look, and I get dimples when I smile like this, too!"

As you're explaining the night before, Jeongguk is hunting for one of his shirts amongst your clothes. Says he wants to get a drink from the convenience store.

In reality, he just doesn't wanna have to look you in the eyes, just in case they sparkle for Seojoon.

"You're too competitive for your own good, Gguk," you laugh. "I'm not gonna ditch you for another guy. Unlike some of us , I'll keep my best friend around even if I do fall disastrously in love."

"Okay, one - I kept you around!" He protests, rummaging through the clothes on your desk chair for one of his shirts. There's definitely one in the pile. You're sure of it. "Two - who said anything about love ? I wasn't! Are you going to be in love?!"

Jeongguk can never really hide his emotions. He tries. Really hard. Always fails. His competitive edge is showing now in a way that it never has done before. He really is feeling threatened by Seojoon.

He's stupid, you think. You're not gonna ditch him. Would miss him too much.

Sure, you'll need to iron out the nature of your sleepovers, but that'll just be a small change - and fuck ! You've only been on one date. Hardly falling in love, are you?

"No!" You laugh. "Christ, Gguk. It's only been one date."

"But there's gonna be more?" He asks, still rummaging. Has already found a shirt. Just doesn't wanna face you right now. "You're gonna see him again?"

"Well maybe," you admit. "I don't know yet. He hasn't asked."

Jeongguk pretends like he isn't satisfied with that answer.

Again, he fails to compel this narrative. The little hum he chirps gives him away.

But then he's thinking about the reason you went on that stupid date in the first place, and wants to explain himself again. Really wants you to know how shitty he feels about it.

"About the Hayun stuff," Jeongguk begins, glancing over to you, but you just shake your head.

"Why waste your time explaining it away?" You ask with a small shrug and eyes so sincere Jeongguk thinks you could end world wars. Eyes he thinks he'd go to war for .

Silly thoughts, for a silly boy, who's engaging in silly conversations that makes his heart feel anything but silly.

It feels serious. Stern. Secure in his understanding of his feelings, but too scared to do anything about them. Especially now.

"I don't love your choices," you continue, not trying to be critical, but wanting him to understand why you aren't lingering on the situation. "But we learn from our bad decisions, no? We make mistakes so that in future we can make things right."

"It doesn't mean I shouldn't feel bad about it," he says quietly, eyes down.

"Well, what will beating yourself up about it do? Will just make you feel crappy - and like, don't get me wrong, I think you deserve to feel shitty for fucking me without telling me-"

"I do."

"But I'm not hung up on it," you stress. Really, you're not. "You feeling bad about it will make me feel like I should feel bad about it."

If Jeongguk was elated about his choices, enthusing about Hayun, then yes - you'd feel awful.

Thing is, his distress is written all over his pouty little face. There's nothing about even kissing her that he seems to enjoy. Not anymore.

Or at least, even if he liked it in the moment, the aftermath seems to have catapulted him into a near-permanent state of disgust. That's enough to make you feel alright about things.

"Okay," you sigh when you see his frown hasn't eased up. "Tell me one thing: do you still want her?"

The way Jeongguk recoils with a crease between his brows almost instantly says it all.

"Christ, B. No. Obviously not"

Cherry on top.

"Well, I mean she can have you," you tease, pleased to be smiling through such a conversation. Progress has been made.

"I don't want her," he insists, and it really does boost your ego.

"Should have thought about that then, shouldn't you?" You smirk with a raised brow.

Jeongguk throws his shirt at you. Whines. "Cut me some slack, B. I said I'm sorry."

The conversation dissolves into nothingness - Jeongguk asking you what you want from the shop, and you asking him what he wants to watch on Netflix when he gets back. Will only be gone for a few minutes, but it'll give you a chance to breathe and process the morning's revelations.

He slips on a pair of your jeans - mom cut, and shrugs when he looks in the mirror. Thinks they don't look too bad. A bit baggy, and loose on his hips thanks to your curves, but nothing that a belt can't solve. For a quick run to the shop? They're fine. Will do the job. Saves him from wearing sweats again, and given his near-constant state of boner this morning, sweats are not a wise idea.

The waistband of his Calvins peek out from the top of the jeans, framing his hips like they're a work of art deserving a place in the Louvre.

You sort of think they are. Think he's got a body that deserves to be admired. Worshipped. Appreciated. Know that you're more than capable of doing all of those things.

"Take a picture," he smirks, when he catches you looking.

You're unashamed.

Sure, your cheeks blush a little bit, but you just keep drinking in the sight of him. So often his body is shrouded in darkness when your hands are running over it - but you can see him, now. See the ridges of his abs, and the way they move ever so gently as he exerts a little energy.

Nodding towards the shelf just behind him, where your old polaroid sits prettily amongst some other tat, you smirk right back. "Gimmie it and I will."

You expect shyness - and get shyness, Jeongguk's smile a little scrunched as a soft giggle escapes his lips - but you don't expect for him to actually reach over for it.

"How do you work this thi- oh!" He exclaims as he presses down on the button that extends the lens.

It's not a proper polaroid, just an old instax that has seen better days, but it does the job well enough for you not to trade it in.

Honestly, you rarely use it these days. Maybe once a year, if you're lucky. You've no idea if it has any film in it - but as Jeongguk points it towards you, not bothering to adjust the exposure settings ('cause he doesn't realise it's needed) and presses down on the shutter button, it's confirmed that there is, indeed, still film in it.

"Oh, shit," he laughs, as if he wasn't the one who very deliberately took a photo.

He's not that stupid. He knows how cameras work. The mechanical whir as the photograph pushes itself out of the slot is nostalgic; a reminder of times that were simple.

He shakes the polaroid a little as he passes the camera over to you, looking at the empty photograph with a small pout.

"Takes a couple of minutes," you explain. "Put it on my desk, let it develop."

He does as he's told, believing you without hesitation. You've honestly no idea what you're supposed to do while they process.

Shake it - no! Don't shake it. Keep it out of the light. No! Give it light! No put it in the light for a minute only.

Everything you've ever been told about polaroids has been contradictory, and you enjoy the chaos too much to actually figure things out.

Holding the polaroid camera to your eye, you're smiling as Jeongguk decides to pose like an absolute tool. Muscles tensed, arms up in swan position, he looks like he's trying to compete for a place in Men's Health magazine.

"You're so stupid," you murmur affectionately.

"Stupid hot ," he corrects.

"Mmm," you hum as you press down on the shutter button, a flash lighting up your room. "Like a real-life Calvin Klein model."

He pings the top of his briefs against his skin with a teasing wiggle of his brows.

"Careful, or you'll speak it into existence," he assures you. "And then everyone will want me."

"So?" You laugh. "Am I supposed to feel threatened?"

Jeongguk's met many girls in his lifetime. Watched many on screen, and seen just as many in magazines. Gorgeous women. Beautiful women. The kind of women he'd be lucky to have - and yet, if were to be honest about his feelings for once in his damn life, he'd say 'no' .

No Hollywood star could ever compare to his star.

Instead, he deflects.

"Threatened? Huh," he smirks. Shakes his head to the side, like a dog with an itch. He's quite puppy-like, when you think about it. All doe-eyed and charming. Exquisitely cuddly and notoriously boisterous. Cute - and yet that smirk of his? The toned muscles of his chest? Sin . "You jealous?"

Scoffing, you roll your eyes. "I'm not the jealous type."

Jeongguk presses his lips together, still smiling. Nods. Eyes sparkling, his tongue toys with his lip ring a little, the freckle beneath his bottom lip on full display.

Shakes his head. "I think that's a lie."

Oh, how insufferably right he is - but you're not gonna give him the satisfaction, even if you're both well aware of it.

"I've never been jealous in my life," you say with a small giggle as Jeongguk prowls towards the bed. You lift the polaroid to your eye, and press down on the shutter button once more.

He doesn't imagine it's a great angle.

He's wrong.

"No?" He flirts, taking the camera from your hands as he gets himself between your legs.

He's sitting on his knees, with his thighs hooked beneath your legs. The hand that isn't holding your camera - the tattooed one - pushes the shirt you're wearing up a little. Reveals your underwear, and the bottom of your cute little tummy. There's a softness to you that he likes. Gets him hard .

"Shame," he shrugs. "I get jealous."

"I could tell," you assure him, as if your heart isn't beating a mile a minute. Something about Jeongguk like this - half-dressed, Calvins, body on show just for you - really gets you all hot and bothered.

The tips of his fingers stroke your skin, until they meet the top of your lace underwear. His thumb dips. Presses down on your clit, the thin piece of material the only obstruction.

You gasp, because of course you do, and Jeongguk feels vindicated. Thinks he'll never need to be jealous, 'cause no one is ever gonna make you feel like he does. Knows that he'll try his goddamn hardest to keep things as they are right now, 'cause he's had a taste of what it could feel like to lose you.

He doesn't want that - and yet he feels the need to preserve things as they are, just in case. Knows that Seojoon exists, and doesn't like the prospect of what that could mean for the future.

He raises the camera to his eye. Looks down at you.

"Chess?" He asks, giving you the option of an 'out' that only the two of you understand.

"You finally gonna teach me how to play?" You banter back, knowing that he wasn't asking you to play. He's checking consent before he presses on the shutter button.

It will produce just a single image. One for you to keep; proof that once upon a time, Jeon Jeongguk had touched you so indecently angels would weep. The sins you commit with him feel like heaven on earth, so how could they blame you? You're sure when you reach the pearly gates, they'll understand - though heaven wouldn't really be worth it, you think. Not when you've already experienced Nirvana with him.

"Not if you don't want me to," he says, his intentions thinly veiled as he lowers the camera to look at you.

There's innocence in his dark eyes; an elixir you just want to bottle up to preserve for a rainy day. His thumb is still pressed against your most intimate of areas, languid in its subtle movements, just to remind he's there. Willing. Wanting. Waiting.

"So chess, or no chess?"

He's too far away for your hands to reach him properly, so you simply tap beneath his hand to encourage the camera further up, indicating that he should realign it with his sight.

"No chess."

Slow as he makes sure he's got the perfect angle, Jeongguk presses deeper against you. Has you humming in anticipation of more substantial touches.

The camera flashes, a mechanical buzz accompanying your bated breaths. He can't have captured much, you think, knowing the camera well. Will likely just be his hand, probably, and the part of you it was taking ownership of.

The photo begins to slide out of the slot at the top of the camera, but Jeongguk's hands are full. He nips the edge with his teeth. Pulls it out. Keeps it there. Realigns the camera. Lets go of your pussy to push your shirt up your stomach.

"Up," he instructs, teeth gritted thanks to the polaroid, letting you take over the removal of your shirt. Your body is bare, save for the pair of underwear he's been toying with, your chest now his to play with - but he doesn't. Not really. Just holds one of your tits in his firm grip. Tells you to hold the other one. You comply. The camera flashes again.

He spits the polaroid between his teeth to the side. It's developing now. He doesn't dare look at it. Another, arguably worse one is printing out anyways. Again, his teeth nip at the edge and pull it out.

"You'll use all the film," you say softly, a fondness to the way you're scolding him. He discards the polaroid between his teeth, a smile on his pretty lips.

"I'll buy you more," he says as his hand strokes up your chest and sinks to where your bird should be. "Still missing a necklace."

Oh, on the contrary, you think.

"Shame."

Camera still by his eye, Jeongguk lines up the perfect shot: the top of your chest, collarbones sparkling in your bedroom light, his hand wrapped around the base of your throat. Careful not to include your face, he thinks it's a shame. Would have quite liked your pouty lips as part of the picture, too.

He squeezes his hand as the camera flashes.

Pulling the polaroid out with his fingers this time, he shakes it gently. Finds the other photos scattered around your body and tosses them in a neat pile beside your bed.

"Gimmie," you say, scrunching your hands out in a bid to retrieve the camera. There's no protest. He sort of wants you to take pictures of him, too.

Wants evidence that you once wanted him as badly as he seems to want you.

"Where do you want me?" He asks, a little shy now the camera is back on him.

Aligning focus, you hold out your hand, and let the tips of your fingers trail down the ridges of his torso. Jeongguk glances down to watch your hand, so focused on your dainty touches that he barely even notices the flash going off.

"Only two shots left," you say quite contently as you perch the camera on your bedside table, the polaroid still printing. You'll check it later. "Should save them for something important."

He raises a brow. Looks genuinely confused. "Your tits are important."

With a laugh, you shake your head, hair tangling against your pillow. Cupping your tits for a little support (and warmth) you simply say, "not if you're an ass guy."

Jeongguk's whole entire face scrunches up, to the point where his lip ring does the thing, but you can't focus on it. He looks too cute. Stroking the tops of your thighs adoringly, Jeongguk sighs.

"Look, I'm not saying I'm not an ass guy anymore, but, like - shit , B."

He reaches up to rest his hands over yours, but you slide yours out so that his are making direct contact with your tits. Putting your hands back on top of his, you encourage him to squeeze them, which earns you a whine from his prettily pouted lips.

"Love your tits. Absolutely corrupted me, they have."

"I know," you say smugly. "You're welcome."

"I'm not thanking you," he laughs, rolling your nipples between his fingers. The arching of your back gets his cock throbbing. You're so easy to work up. So is he, though. "Ruined me."

He loves your laugh, but loves it catching in your throat as he spanks the soft flesh of your chest even more so.

He doesn't let the sting linger; soothes your skin immediately. Mutters to himself, with a shake of his head. "Absolutely ruined."

"Careful," you tease. "Or I'll start thinking you're a tit guy."

"I'll eat your ass just to prove I'm not," he banters back - but then you twist beneath him. Get on your front. Ass up for him, just how he likes.

"Alright, then," you challenge.

"B," he husks, gripping onto your ass with one hand and stroking down your arched back with the other. Poised so that you can see the mirror across the room, there's something sordid about watching Jeongguk like this.

Desire becomes him. There's nothing about his mind, body nor soul that doesn't want you in this moment, and it's written all over his skin. He has to have you. Will simply die if he can't.

"Yeah?" You reply sweetly, and he just knows you're gonna be in one of those moods - a mood he loves, but a mood he knows is no good for the way you make his heart beat these days.

"Behave yourself," he husks. "We both know we shouldn't."

It hasn't been discussed, but he's got a point. You know you should be practising a little more self-restraint.

"I won't tell if you don't."

His grip gets tighter. Jiggles your soft flesh a little. Gets him gritting his teeth. Cursing.

Your body jolts forward as he spanks you, just once. It's so satisfying.

"Shouldn't play with your food before you eat it," you smirk, knowing just the way to wind him up.

Yeah, Jeongguk thinks to himself. You're definitely one of those moods.

It's the bratty type. The 'wind him up just because it's fun' type - but two can play at that game.

"Want me to eat it, huh?" He husks.

"Mhmm," you whine a little as he massages your skin.

His hands are strong, but his determination to not let your brattiness win? Oh, even more so.

"God, you're filthy for me, aren't you baby?" He husks. Knows how much baby gets you. Uses it deliberately.

"Mhmm," is all you can whine in anticipation of something, anything, to relieve the ache in your pussy. Have been horny all week, but unable to act upon it without thinking about him - and you were mad at him. Didn't wanna be thinking about him at all, let alone as you came.

"My pretty little slut, aren't you?" He praises, fingers toying with your lace underwear. The slickness of your pussy seeps through the fabric. Gets him all wet and dirty, just how he likes it. "Cunt just begging to be fucked, but it's your ass you want eaten."

"Koo," you whine .

He's rarely ever mean in bed, but it always gets you even hornier than usual when he is. It's the juxtaposition, you think. A man as kind and charming as Jeongguk should not be as unhinged as you know he truly is.

"What have I told you about calling me that?" He laughs. "Don't fuckin' do it."

It's not that he doesn't like it. In fact, it's quite the opposite. He likes it too much.

"Why not?" You ask, because again, it's one of those moods - so Jeongguk decides that if you wanna fuck with him, he's gonna fuck with you instead.

"'Cause you're gonna address me properly, aren't you, baby?" He says, thankful you aren't looking at him, 'cause a smile is tugging at his lips.

He's got a plan. Doesn't know if you'll play along. Hopes you will. Knows that there's no way you'll fuck him if it goes right - and that's sort of what he's hoping for. The pair of you simply have no self-control, so he's trying to create some.

"What am I gonna call you?" You whine as he rubs over your panties with his long fingers.

"What do you think, baby?" he teases. "Use that pretty little head of yours, baby girl."

God. You're gonna die.

"Koo," you whine, because of course you do. There's only one name that compliments baby girl - and you don't wanna say it.

What you do want? Right now? Is for Jeongguk to fuck you so hard it makes you booking the entire day off worth it.

"Uh, uh, baby," he says as he holds your cunt. Absolutely takes ownership of it. Gets you all whimpery and whiney - and when he starts being nice? Oh, fuck . You're done for. Death imminent. "Use that pretty, perfect brain of yours. You're so smart, aren't you? You know what to call me."

Jeongguk would be lying if he said his cock wasn't throbbing. Your mom jeans - the ones that were baggy - appear tight now, thanks to his hardness.

You take a second. Assess how much dignity you stand to lose from 'addressing him properly', and decide you're too horny to care.

"You think I'm smart, Daddy?"

Glorious , Jeongguk thinks. Not the name. Just that he managed to get you to say it, and mean it. His power knows no bounds. This is fucking fantastic .

"There you go, baby girl," he praises, pushing your panties to the side so that he can get a good look at just how messy you are. He thinks he'll die almost immediately. "So smart. You like being smart for me, don't you?"

You can't believe you're gonna say it again. And yet -

"Yes, Daddy," you nod into your pillows, 'cause the anticipation of Jeongguk doing something - anything - to your pussy right now is simply too much.

" Too smart, almost. I'm gonna have to fuck you so hard you can't think straight," he tells you. Smirks to himself. His breathy laugh echoes around the room. "Gonna be a dumb slut on my cock, aren't you?"

"Fuck," you moan, not willing to subject yourself to another 'daddy' - but Jeongguk pushes his luck.

"Who?" he insists. "Who you gonna be fucking?"

You roll your eyes, not that he can see it. Can't believe you're doing this. Can't believe you kinda like it, either. "You, Daddy."

"Hmm," Jeongguk hums with great satisfaction, giving you a very gentle but curt spank, before rolling back down beside you.

You're confused. Worried .

And then Jeongguk is chuckling to himself. "That was easier than I thought."

You sit up instantly.

Mouth ajar, you turn your head judgmentally, reaching a conclusion that is gonna earn Jeongguk the bluest balls he's ever had. You'll make sure of it.

"What?!"

"What?" He smirks right back.

"That was easy? " You question, still confused, but also aware that despite the raging boner he has, a fuck is not what he's after.

Maybe he wants to be blue balled.

Weirdo.

"Yeah," he smirks, then fucking giggles to himself. "I got you calling me Daddy . God, you're so willing to do anything for my cock, B. It's so cute."

His smile prevails as he giggles, finding much amusement in playing you at your own bratty game.

"Oh my God," you wail. "I fucking hate you! You know I hate 'Daddy'."

"And yet you'll do it for my cock," he laughs even harder, now. "Oh, it's adorable. Really really sweet."

"I'm ending our friendship."

"No you aren't," he tells you, reaching for your wrist to pull you back down into your sheets with him - and for reasons you (again) don't care to explain, you just let him.

"I am," you assure him, even though you're kinda now snuggling into him.

"Don't disobey your daddy, baby," he jokes.

"I'll send him to an early grave if he isn't careful," you warn, but it only cracks him up even more.

"So you admit it?" he teases. "I am your Daddy?"

"Oh my God!"

"I'm your God, too? Wow, you really are being kind today-"

He's interrupted by your dainty hands covering his mouth. "Shut your face."

Jeongguk just laughs. Knows he'll probably just make it up to you with a quick fuck, if you let him.

The cursed thing about it all?

You probably will let him.

'Cause even though you hate Daddy, and you hate feeling embarrassed, and you hate not understanding your feelings, you do understand that nothing feels quite as calm as the aftermath of time spent in bed with Jeongguk.

It's the orgasms, you tell yourself. He makes you calm when he makes you cum. There's probably a science behind it. You're not gonna google it, 'cause you don't wanna be proven wrong.

"Put a shirt on," you huff. "You're paying for the snacks this time. You owe me, like, I don't know. Three weeks worth of snacks for that little stunt."

And so when Jeongguk returns from the shop a little while later, you're pleased to see he really did buy enough snacks to last at least a month, if not longer.

"Was meaning to ask you," Jeongguk says as he unpacks one of the bags while you scroll through the Netflix home page. "When are you next in work?"

You're yet to tell him you booked the day off because of his exam. Now Wednesday, you have Thursdays off as usual. The Friday shift pattern changes most weeks depending on who needs it off, but this week, you've managed to get it off, too. Saturday will be your first shift.

"Well," Jeongguk says. "I missed a bunch of family events 'cause I was studying all the time. I'm probably gonna head over to Busan this evening just to show my face for a night or two. Keep mum happy."

"That's cute," you smile. "She'll appreciate it, I'm sure."

He nods. Knows she will. Feels bad for being a bit of a shitty son in the last few weeks.

"I know things have been a bit mad with Tae's shows, and just... Well, everything," Jeongguk staggers his words, a little unsure of himself. For once, he fears your rejection.

"Mhmm," you agree. "Been crazy."

"Yeah," he nods. "Sea air helps, though. You wanna come with?"

"To Busan?" you clarify.

For some reason, it feels like your heart is in your throat. You might throw it up entirely.

"To Busan," he reinforces. Turns to face you. "With me. Busan. You wanna come?"

"Do you want me to come?" You ask, not wanting to be a charity case 'cause he feels bad about the whole 'Daddy' thing.

Jeongguk doesn't feel bad about the 'Daddy' thing in the slightest. He genuinely just wants you to come with him.

"I'll get bored on the drive if I'm alone," he shrugs. "Plus mum keeps asking why I don't have a girlfriend yet and if I introduce her to someone as repulsive as you, maybe she'll stop insisti-

"Oh fuck you," you laugh. "Mothers love me."

"Yeah, sure they do," he teases, knowing full well his mum will think you're the greatest thing he's brought home since his first-grade report card.

"I'll prove you wrong," you say, not that you have to. Jeongguk is just winding you up. "Your mum is gonna like me more than she likes you."

"So you're gonna come with?"

You bite down on your bottom lip. Ignore the conventions of a relationship that are looming over the pair of you both. Nod.

"Yeah. I'll come with."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

#bad decisions

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fiend-shaped · 7 months

Text

Teens sleep headcanons

Can you tell what im supposed to be doing rn lol

Taylor:

-Taylor has to build himself an exosuit of pillows in order to be comfortable (hence the exorbitant number of bodypillows)

-he has a large bed but always presses himself into the corner

-falls asleep very easily even when he's trying to stay awake

-one christmas morning when he was 8 Cassandra found him asleep in the living room with a sword

-when she woke him he cried because he'd missed his chance to challange santa to single combat and would have to wait another year to try again

-morning person, somehow in a non-obnoxious way

Normal:

-Normal always kicks off his blanket

-he moves around a lot and has fallen off of his bed on more than one occasion

-when he was 10 he begged his parents to let him have a bunk bed but they were justifiably worried he'd hurt himself

-he always has trouble falling asleep but once he's out it's very hard to wake him

-he tried using an alarm for a while but it didn't matter how loud or long it was, he always slept through it

-usually Hero has to wake him and more often than not she just drops a cold washcloth on his face

-pretends very hard to be a morning person

Scary:

-Scary tried to make herself sleep in a coffin pose but it didn't work

-She sleeps with socks on

-one time she had a dream where Terry Junior had been her dad since she was born

-after that she didn't really talk to him for about 2 days

-when she was younger (before tj) she always made sure to arrange her stuffed animals so that they would all be equally close because she didn't want any of them to feel left out

-is genuinely not a morning person but also plays it up quite a bit

Lincoln:

-Lincoln has to be against a wall or he has a hard time sleeping

-he keeps his windows wide open, even when it's cold outside

-no problem falling asleep but usually wakes up multiple times a night

-is extremely comitted to making the football asmr thing work (at this point it kinda does but for the first few months it kept him awake and he just really didn't wanna admit it)

-is basically a morning person but not used to waking up for school yet

Bonus:

-Hermie has insomnia

-when he can't sleep he lies in the dark and 'runs lines'

-sometimes it's movies or plays he likes, sometimes it's rehearsed conversations and monologues

-when he can't remember a line (or hasn't thought of it yet in the conversation/monologue case) he repeats the last thing he said over and over until he figures out what comes next

-as part of his deep cover operation to steal the mascot costume he conviced his parents that he'd started taking a special morning class at chaparral. He needed to do this because his father always dropped him off on the way to work and he needed enough time to take the bus over to san dimas high in time for actual school to start. (Yes, this means that he hasn't been attending high school for the better part of a year and that his parents have somehow not noticed this)

-has to get up so so early for this stupid fucking scheme why is he doing this to himself i don't even care about chaparral high (internal monologue of the unfortunate compulsive scammer)

-tries (read: fails) not to nap throughout the day in hopes it'll fix his sleep schedule

#I know the hermie running lines thing is on the nose #But it is also literally something that i a real flesh boy do in real flesh life so im giving myself a pass #This is entirly vibes based no research so if it contradicts anything in canon no it doesn't #dndads #dndads season 2 #dungeons and daddies #taylor swift (not that one)#normal oak #scary marlowe #lincoln li wilson #hermie the unworthy #hermie unworthy

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catboyolli · 10 months

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the situation with the RV sounds like a nightmare tbh, but it does open a door for some delulu discussion about, say, Olli and Allu both drawing the short straw and ending up with no bed for the night, so they're forced to sort of sit in some corner and cuddle under a blanket to try and make themselves at least a little more comfortable 🥺

hellooooo 💕💘💖💘 honestly yeah, it's fucked up that they had to tour in those conditions, but at the same knowing those fuckers, they would've said stuff like "remember those years back when we weren't famous? and slept seated in a smaller van? we can do this again, it will be worth it if we became known in the US market" or something like that

buuuuut speaking of cuter things, omg yessssss 😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺 i'm gonna bring this one thing for reference and put everything under a read more because there's a lot of text lol

so these are the plans for the RV lol don't ask how I found them but trust the diagonal positioning of the sink 💀

I imagine them sitting opposite each other in that place labeled "dinette" (bottom right space next to the copilot's seats) trying to keep the other awake because they don't wanna fall asleep over the table (Allu has quite the Experience Working Until Late and doesn't want Olli to suffer as he does each morning when he wakes up in his studio)

they cannot talk because there are two other people sleeping in the sofa bed next to them, so they find another way of communicating, either by using whatsapp or through the notes app on their phones

then Allu takes quite the time to reply, maybe because he's remembering one meme that reminded him of Olli but now he can't find it, so when he looks back at Olli he's already asleep while sitting, with his head resting on his hand and that's a big no for him

so in a moment of 'fuck everything' Allu steps over the table and towards where Olli is, sitting next to him and pulling him into a "comfortable" position (where Allu is sitting with his back against the wall, and a sleepy Olli is sitting between Allu's legs) kinda like this?

Olli, of course, doesn't remember anything the next morning, and suddenly finds himself cuddling with Allu under a blanket 🥰💘💖 his heart is racing because this is one of the things he has been thinking about for a while, but he's afraid of waking up Allu and chooses to enjoy the moment to make it last longer

once they are waken up by their bandmates they don't speak about it, Allu too embarassed because he thinks he crossed a line, and Olli too busy remembering how Allu's hands felt wonderful resting on his tummy and how much he wants this to happen again and again and again

maybe someone in the band volunteers to do the soundcheck for them, just so that they can have a little nap and feel well rested before playing that night's show

Olli drags Allu back into the van, making a beeline for the bedroom, and once they're laying in bed he thanks Allu for keeping him comfortable last night, and apologizes for falling asleep 🥺🥺 Allu says that he would like to sleep next to Olli this time, cuddling again, and who is Olli to deny him such a simple request?

when they wake up, a few hours later, the first thing they see is each other and oops, maybe they realize that they have some Feelings for each other, so it's only natural for them to finally lean into a sweet kiss 💖

(or maybe Aleksi asks for a massage because his back hurts like hell and Olli gives him that and so much more, who knows 😏)

and well, for both Olli and Allu, it doesn't matter where they will have to sleep the next night, as long as it's next to each other 🥰💖💘

#asks #theflyingfeeling #cute kittens 💖#i am always open to delulu discussions even with the most nightmarish topics tbh 🥰💖💘💖💖#but yeah you gave me brainworms for these two being absolutely adorable even when having such a terrible time thank you 🥰💘💖#excuse the shitty diagram lol i tried ⭐#btw i read your christmas advent fic over lunch and i 🥺💘💖 i'm setting up a nice shippy sideblog to scream about it on the tags 💖

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hauntedselves · 10 months

Text

had therapy today (thank fuck lol). i'm a lot better now but have had a pretty shitty few days

(tw for CSA related triggers, nothing graphic or even directly mentioned)

i figured out that my step niece is triggering CSA parts/memories/whatever, which is shitty because i like her and i dont want to associate her with something so horrible! but the thing to do here is to not avoid her - practice grounding to the present, downregulate, and lots and lots of self soothing and self care. as with all triggers!

anyway, the last time she came over i was dissociated, and then that night i was just so overwhelmed, i think probably a child part was out, i just kept internally saying "i can't do this, i'm sorry, i don't want it". and i had to keep moving, and obviously that was really counterintuitive to getting to sleep. i would finally doze off only to wake up again. i finally slept a few hours but it was a really shitty night.

then during that day i was still really triggered - step niece had left by then; a restless sort of anxious, shaky. my anxiety and trauma is very somatic, body-based. lots of nausea, stomach problems, clammy, no appetite and all food seems revolting. i do laps of the house or my room because its all i can do to regulate myself. the good thing about it being so somatic is that body based regulation works well - take a walk, sit in the sun, have a shower or a bath, breathe. i have to remember to sit with the feelings, don't run from them, because then you create a phobic avoidant response to the triggers and the feelings, which makes it worse.

much better today, thankfully. i'm kinda scared that this will happen every time my niece is over, but... i have to work with it. i'm not going to avoid her, i have to balance working with the trauma vs self care. a fine line!

unfortunately due to holidays and medicare stuff i won't see my psych again until early january. but i think i'll be fine... i've made it through one of the worst days i've ever had; nothing lasts forever.

oh also. i talked to my sister about the CSA stuff and she said she thinks the same happened to her (which i kinda suspected too). awful, but ... we're in this together.

#long post #sorry v rambly lol. im about to go to bed im Tired #dogpost #personal #no bold #hs' did #csa tw #tw csa

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winterswhite · 1 year

Text

Personal rant, CW for talks of blood and medical stuff

The past 5 days have really been so much for me and it... seriously doesn't feel like only 5 days at all with how much has gone on

On Wednesday evening I got home from work feeling extremely weak after telling my QPP repeatedly that I don't feel good, and after I was no longer able to hold my head up or open my eyes without extreme effort my roommate took me to the emergency room where we waited 9ish hours for me to even be taken to a bed and then one or two more to be seen

When they did get there, they said they needed to take blood, give me an IV, do chest x-rays, and a few other tests (I think they tested me for a stroke too) because clearly a lot was wrong

The nurse tried to put the IV in my left arm and then my hand, failing both times because she couldn't find a vein. She then called over a second nurse, who said since I had already been poked twice, she wasn't going to poke me unless she was sure she had one

She left without poking me.

She called over a doctor to come with a whole ass ultrasound setup to use that to find a vein, and they only found a suitable one in my upper right arm, meaning I had to hold it up at an uncomfortable angle the entire time and because of where it was, it also hurt the entire time (only a little, but still)

They also interrupted it in the middle to take more blood ("well that can't be good")

Also, while they were putting the IV in, I remember them struggling to reach the vein, and the pain from them wiggling it around trying to reach my difficult ass vein, and then hearing "how attached are you to this sweatshirt?"

I had... bled all over it (fortunately they stopped the bleeding pretty fast, very different from my last experience with an IV where I nearly bled out on the hospital floor)

Anyway, after wanting to cry from how uncomfortable the whole experience was but eventually managing to sleep through the last half hour of it, they told me about my bloodwork, and a lot is wrong! Some of the things that have always been wrong with me, and some new things, like low thyroid and low potassium, low sodium etc

They scheduled me for a follow-up appointment in a week and I leave, it is now Thursday morning

I picked up the meds they prescribed me and got home around noon, exhausted from not having slept all night, and napped

Only to wake up to a terrible toothache out nowhere, that at its worst was so bad I couldn't lift a finger

I ran to the dentist but they were closing by the time I got there and told me to come back the next morning

I did, and they said I need an emergency root canal, but that it would be hard to find any endodontists who take my insurance, which... yeah, it proved to be impossible

So now, today, I'm scheduled for the root canal, and I have to pay for the whole $1500 out of pocket

Which I haven't reached, but... I'll have to see what I can manage now

Also, through all of this, my workplace is telling me it's "unacceptable" not to show up to work because they're short-staffed. As if I wasn't stuck in the fucking hospital. I worried about getting fired, because I need that money to pay for the fucking root canal and I hadn't even received my first paycheck, so I went in to work yesterday, but wasn't able to finish a full day of work because I felt like Shit

They still told me they need a doctor's note specifically stating that I can't work for x number of days (even though I gave them my emergency room discharge papers to prove I was unwell) before they could believe that I was actually not feeling well enough to work

So I guess I'm going to ask the fucking endodontist for one

And this cuts into my funds for my trip to take the JLPT and some other things in June, which I also really need so I can get a better job. It is absolutely necessary that I take this trip, but I'll no longer have the money for it yet, and travel costs only go up as you get closer to the date of, so lol.

Anyway. It has not even been 5 full days since I first went to the ER. I need a fucking break.

#anposting #/rant

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honeybeewhereartthee · 2 years

Text

My Darling Dolls AU: what a crazy night

A/N: this chapter contain Niki putting alcohol in the cake. It's a fruit cake lol. So there is indeed alcohol in it as well drunk people.

-FIRST HOUR: 10 PM-

Last night, after the live of the crazy:b. Niki is first to be wasted. But he act like he isn't as he offer his cakes to others: "hahaha. H-have some cakes. It's very good."

Everyone knows, Niki is a good chief and all he made are delicacy. They all happily take bite of it.

The second to be wasted is you. Where you shamelessly hugs mayoi and lean to his ears.

"Hey what's that balls floating around you..." You whisper, drunk and seeing things.

You reach out to grab hold of the glowing colorful light that remind you of mofumofu balls, mayoi is alarm and grab hold of your hand before you touch the so called glowing things.

"D-dont..." He mumble through he froze when he realize you two are only few inch apart from one another.

"Kyaaa?! A live action PDA?!" Aira another wasted person blush madly as he look at you two, covering his eyes but peeking through the gap of his fingers. "hehehe. Do continue." He added.

"*GASP?! WHAT IS THIS? MC YOUR CHEATING ON ME?" Rinne who somewhat wasted point his accusing finger at you. "...huh" You then lost balance and was about to slam your head to the table but mayoi is able to caught you

"What do...you mean. CHEATING?! YOU ARE ABLE TO EAT NIKIS FOOD 24/7 YOU BASTARD, THAT'S CHEATING!" You who able to process rinne words, drunkly point an accusing finger at Rinne.

"C-cheat? There's more to the drama? Oh my!!" Aira who's watching the drama unfold can't help but gasp, shaking the person beside him which is Tatsumi. "What do they mean cheating?!" He want answers. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BE LEFT IN A CLIFF HANGERS!

"Ah... It's probably that thing..." Tatsumi remember that fake contract you made. He laugh hopelessly as aira continued to pester him for answers.

"WELL ITS NOT MY FAULT, YOU LIVE FAR "-rinne

"THE FKING AUDACITY! I WANT DIVORCE! I DON'T WANNA SHARE NIKI'S COOKING WITH LIKES OF YOU!" you throw an imaginary divorce paper at the floor.

Rinne who also in a drunk state as you. Pick the imaginary paper off the floor and sign it with an imaginary pen.

"There! But Niki's food is mine!" -rinne

"No it's mine!!" -mc

you two then start pulling each other hair and jabbing each other side.

"Mah... Shut up you two... Hweres more cwakee... (Here's more cake)" Niki who have enough of you two fighting shove more spike cake at your mouth, as well rinne. You both eat the cake happily, more drunk than before.

"Swowwy nwikwii.(sorry Niki) wwawv ywaa(love you)" You said as you hug Niki waist, rinne hugs him over the shoulder. "heawwll nwwaaa. Nwwiiki ywa wwavvwa mwe mworree rwight?(hell no, Niki you love me more right?) " Rinne is also speaking gibberish with you. He seems to hear differently than what you meant"Ahaha iwavv fwaaod moreww.(haha I love food more)" Niki replied in the same gibberish language. Then you three suddenly fall back to the floor, which is a good thing you all seating and slept on the floor.

"What was that about--" kohaku who look at the scene confuse, but takes another bite of Niki cakes.

"Ah, if your still curious. Two years ago or so Rinne state. MC made a fake contract where Niki is a wedded chief and those two are to be benefits from it by having to eat Niki's cooking for free, till death do stop him from cooking."

Mayoi who remember the text from the contract chuckle about how silly it was but he was worried at that time when he heard Rinne jested and told them his mc husband. He thought you just brought back a husband when his not with you.

"Ahm... Why did they act more in bizarre through?" Tatsumi is confuse what's the reason as aira start to copy crazy b action from their live.

"I wanna sing like idol too! LETS DO A LIVE TOO!" he pout as he jumps up and down like a hyper child, drunk.

"It seems your wasted like big brother and others. But if you want, we can do so aira!" Hiiro who seen drunk people before nodded in approval at his unit mate suggestions.

"W-wasted....?! Is the food or drink spike with alcohol?!" Mayoi and Tatsumi worries at hiiro nonchalant words.

"Yup! I think it's either the drinks or the cake!" Hiiro who thought his being helpful happily tells them his guesses. "Oh dear heaven.." Tatsumi don't know what to say as he look at the empty plate that the cake is supposed to be, and the two crazy:b who's still wearing their maid uniform.

"HiMERU-san are you ok---"

"HiMERU won't share cola with the likes of you." HiMERU state as he act like his not drunk but he is. He hug the bottle of cola but with the same sex appeal he usually have, his a seggsy drunk in short.

"Oh no. I won't ask for some--"

"HiMERU already said, HiMERU won't give you cola." HiMERU repeated his words as he glare at tatsumi, making the priest sigh hopelessly.

"I WANT TO DO A LIVE, LIVE, LIVE!!' aira throw a drunk childish fit. "Ok!" Hiiro is happy to grant it. "shall we have a live, everyone?" Hiiro ask with a happy grin. Through he already using command as a leader to do so, he is also somewhat wasted.

"ahm... C-can we do it later--" mayoi wanted to check on you as your once again awake and reaching out for ball of light you aren't supposed to see or touch-- first but hiiro words is absolute. So he reluctantly start to a live.

SECOND HOUR: 11PM

Alkaloid then preform Kiss of Life. You already gasp the two glowing ball, that is neon pink and neon blue.

"Hi hi." You greeted the glowing ball, they jump on your hand as a response. As you hummed with the tone of the song in the background.

You then wave the two glowing ball like a light stick. They seems fine with it since they float around your hand then back to your palm.

"Hehe. Kiss of life!!" You happily sing along the song.

"Hm..." You hummed while looking at the fluffy balls. They are so cute but your too wasted to think straight at the moment

"MC's Kwiss of life. *chuu *chuu " you casually kiss the fluff.

"M-MC?!" Mayoi who saw it suddenly break from command when you kiss haunted dolls souls. No one seems to notice the two souls become a translucent form of two identical twin dolls.

"Woah..." The one in the left with pink motifs stare at his hand that finally return to a doll like hands. "Aniki!" The one in the right with blue motif hugs the other.

"Wooh cutieee." You hug the transparent dolls which your able to hold. You felt more drain each moment you hold them, but they become less transparent. "Dwo tweoo ywo wwan two lewv hwer?(do you two want to live here?)" You start speaking gibberish again as you snuggle to the two now almost non transparent dolls.

"we always lives with you! Hehe! Isn't that right, Yuuta?"-pink one.

"Yes aniki is right, we live with you but you cannot see us!" -blue one.

"Really--" as you yawn again and getting much sleepy than before, you wanted to talk more to the two but hands covers your eyes.

"Mayoi-san really a kill joy! hmmp!"

"See you later!"

you hear the twins complain before their voices become mute.

"Ah... MC you scared me just now..." You hear mayoi says as he uncovered your eyes. You yawn and lean your head on mayoi.

"Whwre dwa twoe...(where's the two)" You mumble already haft asleep.

"Asleep. Please don't kiss glowing balls just b-because they are f-fluffy..." Mayoi simple said as he hums a tone to make you sleep but your still somewhat awake and look at mayoi with sleepy eyes.

"Is mayoi jelly?" You tease. " That's not...?!" He denied but you turn to look at him and lean in to kiss his cheeks. "Mwah. Kiss of life for mayoi..." You then collapse on him, hopelessly leaving him as a bashful mess.

"M-MC.... This is so bad for m-my h-heart." Even so he says so he still like it. He then carried you to the sofa, so you could sleep there. He don't know if your room is clean at the moment, only the lobby is clean as far as he remembers.

He seat on the edge of the sofa as he look at the crowed. He suddenly don't feel good when he realize how chaotic everything is.

The rest of Alkaloid already done doing a live and now on the corner talking about something.

The crazy:b in the other hand, have one sane member but continue to eat the sweets in the table while looking innocent at nowhere. HiMERU seating on the other sofa, still holding the bottle of cola mumbling about something.

Rinne somehow manage to go to the ceiling and Niki is out of sight.

Mayoi hopelessly sigh as he wish the night would end soon.

When the night almost ended. You rolled off the sofa and Mayoi who's holding onto you followed along as well the alkaloid dolls that is leaning against mayoi. Hiiro who's awake at that time, walk down from stairs from his room after taking some bath. He saw the crowed before him, that all fallen asleep. Even the crazy:b is on their own corner.

"Pspspsps." Hiiro heard someone called out to him, he look up and saw rinne up in the ceiling on his doll form.

"How's life been to you my dear cute brother?" Rinne ask as he look down at brother at the end of the staircase.

"It's been well, big brother!" Hiiro smiled. "Well, how long since you left the village?" Rinne is concern about a certain things.

"Ah... it's been few years... I don't really truck time." Hiiro thought about that time when he decided to left his home town.

"Then... Soon you'll experience turning to a doll soon then. Since the village will forget you after long years of absent. Gyahaha... Can't wait to look at my brother doll again."

"Is being a doll that bad?" Hiiro never understand it. Rinne left the village long before he did.

The village forget he exist and maybe his brother become a doll because of it but his brother is an idol as well so he probably have become human still at that time period.

"Well...it's up to you to judge... *Yawn. Night my cute brother..." Rinne turn to sleep, not caring his on the edge.

"Good night brother." Hiiro says back before he walk where his batch mate is. A grin don't seems to leave his face.

As he look at the four. "I'm still thankful for that help from last time, MC. But I'm happy that you taken care of my friends and to be reunited with them because of your help mades me forever in your debt. I'll protect you and be forever be in your favor." Hiiro seat beside you and mayoi. He put the covers he brought from upstairs on top of you four.

His eyes narrow as he stood up and walk to the front door and look at the person outside.

"If you are in anyway a threat to my friends. I will make sure I'll do my best to destroy you." He swear as he look at Madara Mikejima, who chuckle at his words. "It's that's so...? Then mama can't wait to see you do so." His smile become a grin. The two stare at one another.

"Hm. Good night then!" Hiiro smiled as he enter the house and close it. He hummed as he walk toward mayoi side and slept there. Happy from all the event today. His glad his batch mate is reunited at last.

Another A/N: shamelessly adding my other favorite unit in the story, 2WINK. Idk how 2wink interact with Mayoi in-game so at this point I'll base this on their personalities and some background stories I know about 2wink to tell their story how they become haunted dolls spirit/soul later. Hint: base on era ! 😭but it really happen and darling doll twist 👀

#ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars #enstar x reader #rinne amagi #himeru #enstar #crazy:b #HiMERU #oukawa kohaku #kohaku Oukawa #niki shiina #mayoi Ayase x reader #mayoi Ayase #hiiro Amagi #aira Shiratori #tatsumi Kazehaya #yuuta aoi #hinata aoi

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taegularities · 2 years

Note

i think i included this as an option last time and you picked the other one so i'm throwing it in again lol say drabble for the first time they slept together at that party? 🥰

fic: songs about you

pairing: fwb!tae x reader, childhood best friends to lovers; fluff, smut warnings: sexual tension, unprotected sex, manhandling, rough sex, fingering, crying, big dick tae, masturbation, drunk and bathroom sex (i seem to love that), they're also so cute :((( wc: 1.7k a/n: awh i remember that it was one of the options 🥺 and you know i love that couple so much, i'll keep coming back to them <333 btw ari, please tell me why this almost made me cry lolll. this took ages omg... also, unedited !!

ask my character! <3

"You remember when you'd invite me to those events during senior year?" you ask, closing your tired eyes for a moment.

Taehyung is as gone as you, perceiving his surroundings in a neverclearing blur. He looks at you with confusion in his starry pupils, and hums, "Hmm?"

"You'd take me to those parties, and I'd hate it here."

"Still hate it?"

"Despise it. You rich people spend money on parties that no one will remember."

"Ouch," Taehyung jokes, "it's not like I'm the host. No need to diss me."

"Well, your eighteenth birthday party was a lot more fun when we went to that burger place. The official, fancy one? Eh."

In your head, your speech is clear, but you bet that you're mumbling and swallowing words; not that it's any kind of challenge to him. He'd understand through your movements alone.

"Tell me then," he says, the tone of his voice shifting. His eyes are dazy, and his breath smells like bitter alcohol. "What was so great about the burger night?"

Your and Taehyung's friendship dates back to an easier time. When you'd gather with your friends, hunched over your homework and projects. Living through high school days, complaining about its pain as though no bigger issues existed.

Back then, you guess they didn't.

Taehyung liked to play the piano to you. The feeling that engulfed your heart back then, listening to every gentle note he gifted you, was still a veiled one.

Today, things have changed. Realities have shifted. Maybe you're not head over heels in love with him – maybe – but you still know what lingers in your heart.

And the inebriated version of you has a lot less inhibitions; a lot less fears to voice her mind.

So you say, "It was just us. You and me. The entire night felt a little different, you know? Maybe because the diner was empty that time..."

"It was empty. I liked it, too."

You move a little, though you soon realise that you shouldn't have – because the world is spinning.

"But it was the first time that I really hoped for you to kiss me."

Wait. What?

Why are you saying that? For fuck's sake.

"Kiss you?" Taehyung asks. When you look at him, his forehead is wrinkled in confusion.

Oh God, what have you done?

"I'm sorry," you hurry to exclaim.

"No, I... wait, tell me more about this."

"...Why?"

"I just. It's not every day that your best friend says anything like that."

"It's so dumb. I know, it's really fucking stupid."

"No, I..."

He gulps. Looks around. The guests are busy conversing, fake laughing, stepping onto their own dresses, discussing whatever the party's purpose might be.

But Taehyung's focus is somewhere else.

Which he proves when snatches the glass off your hand, placing it along with his own on a nearby table.

And then, he's pulling you away from the crowd, somewhere where none of you will be missed.

Your heart bursts behind your chest, hand clutching his in anticipation.

"What are you doing?" you inquire, slower in your heels than him.

"You just..." he shakes his head, whispering your name. Halts when you reach the bathroom, rushing to open the door and pull you inside. "You can't say that and expect me to stay calm."

"Why are you... not ca–"

"I–" He's breathing heavily, blinking slowly. Holding you against the door, not entirely sure what he's supposed to do.

"Why did you never tell me about that?" he prods.

"I... didn't think it was necess–"

"It's important. Of course it is."

And that's all you get. There's no more chance to say much more; the palms on your waist silence you.

So does the way he pins you harder against the door.

And so does the plush mouth that falls on yours, hard and greedy.

Whatever you thought how this evening might evolve... that wasn't it.

The following minutes, the entire night pass in a dense fog. You barely breathe – he doesn't let you.

He explores your body. Kissing up and down your skin. Sheds your clothes, touches every part that you need touched. You've dreamed of this before.

You didn't think it'd actually happen. Ever.

"I've fucked so many women, wishing they were you," he admits at some point, fucked out and drunk beyond belief.

Until now, most of his and your utterances consisted of moans, each others' names, crude curses. Until now, you blamed the booze, the effect it has on you, the craze that flows through your veins.

But the way he's looking at you now... despite his lewd statement... it's something else–

"Have you?" you want to know; a tight knot builds in your tummy.

"This is unreal."

"Tae..." You squirm in his grip, gasping when curled fingers press against a spot inside you. "Fuck me, please. No more wishes... I'm here now."

"Are you sure? God, I..."

"I am," you promise immediately, "I am. I... thought about this a lot." He stares at you in silence and tenderness. Like he can't believe what you're saying. "And besides... I've always wanted to be the one to wet your dick."

Taehyung chuckles, a deep, soft sound directly from his chest. He looks sweet like that, but when his lips return to your neck, his demeanour changes.

Buried in your skin, pecking your shoulder, he guides his cock to your clit. He doesn't do much yet – except for the torturous teasing, rubbing the head against your nub, toying with your patience.

And when he's had enough, he leans back.

A strong hand turns you swiftly, pressing your cheek against the door and pulling your ass back until you're angled. Palms firmly against the door.

His length continues to prod your entrance, never quite shoving it inside, no matter how wet you already are.

But he breaks. Of course he does.

You hear him spit into his palm, and close your eyes in anticipation, taking a deep breath before he finally gives in.

You saw his member just a minute ago – if it's anyhow as menacing as it looks, you're screwed in the best way possible.

Quite literally.

"Careful, yeah? You'll tell me when it's too much?" he says. His voice is strained. He's heavy breathing.

"Mhmm..."

And that's when you mewl.

Louder than before, shaking in your spot.

Taehyung is quick to slap a hand against your mouth, muffling your sounds as he dives in inch by inch. "Nod if you're okay."

You do. Though you can't suppress the constant moans that fall out of you. And he makes sure to silence that sound.

There's something about it.

Having your best friend and long-time crush fuck you against the door. Thrust into you gently first, before he picks up on pace and rails you into oblivion. The way he's controlling you and your undying moans, hand never leaving your lips.

The tears that escape your eyes fall on his fingers, and when he notices the sensation, he tenses. "You good?"

You nod hastily, sure that your make up's smeared. God, you'll need to leave after that.

"Good. Holy fuck, that's hot."

Which is when you realise that he didn't tense solely because he was worried.

But because he's enjoying your reaction.

Of course he is. Kinky bastard.

"More? Harder?"

His suggestions come broken, every other syllable swallowed. Fuck, he's battering your pussy. Ruining you, slamming his hips against your ass.

Shit, how did you get here?

You nod once more, and he laughs, presumably surprised that he's still not pushed you to your limits.

Delightful.

So he drills you rougher, burying himself to the hilt, balls deep inside you; breathing hard, losing his mind when your fingers shift to your clit.

A minute later, you're coming undone – swaying so hard that you reckon you must be moving in circles, until you realise that it's just in your head.

Mind empty, you let the high ebb down; he’s still fucking you, chasing his own release, guiding you through your orgasm.

And when he pushes in one last time, remaining in you with his entire cock buried, you think you’re dreaming.

The deep, reverberating groans of his are insanely dizzying. You can’t do this. You can’t– how did you–

You didn’t know. You didn’t know that intimacy with him entailed all that. Where was this insanity all your life? Why didn’t you reveal your thoughts to him earlier?

Fuck.

“How... was that?” he dares to question.

“It was...”

“What you imagined? What you wanted?” There’s cockiness in his voice. But somehow, there’s worry, too. “Better... worse?”

“It was– just right.”

“Okay. Good.”

He remains in the position, leaning in to kiss your shoulder, your back, your arms. Then, he pulls out, immediately backing away to grab some toilet paper. He cleans you up; you wince.

And then, he says, “Look at me.”

You turn around; the ache between your legs is too tangible. You’ll feel it harder tomorrow, you know.

Still swaying, you slip your eyelids open. Gaze into his; there’s affection and post-coital bliss in his stare. Something you can’t decipher as he brushes your hair back.

Thumbs wipe the remnants of your tears away, hopefully clearing your cheeks of the make up.

You don’t know what he’s thinking until he claims, “You’ve always been so pretty, Swan.”

Your eyes widen; you put your palm on his hand, lifting it to your lips to plant a gentle kiss on his skin. “And you, Tae.”

“Do you wanna leave?”

“Yeah,” you answer, no hesitation in your words. “Please.”

And so you do.

Goodbyes are uttered in a hurry, the car ride in some cab a faint memory.

At his place, you fall into each other deeper. Kiss every inch of him, hugging him close, moaning the night away.

To you, this is still just a drunken night’s mistake. You’re sure you’ll talk about it in the morning. Think about the next steps in your relationship.

You’ll wonder what the hell happened, and how a single confession could lead to something this big.

You won’t know that it’s the beginning of something you’ll never be able to fathom.

Or that there’s unbearable pain ahead. Joy. Lust. Love.

Or that you’ll become his song; the very last he’ll ever play on loop.

–

i’ll edit this later, but oh my god i hope it was okay !!! some quick smut :’) lemme know what u think <3

#oh also i've already quite a few drabble requests in the inbox mwahaha thank you guys 👀 so send in questions too!#would be even easier than drabbles <33 #*amc #notes for rid 🌹#ari <3 #taehyung smut #bts smut #taehyung fluff

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inwintersolitude · 1 year

Text

- September 7th 2023 -

Have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? Yep.

What was on the last sandwich you had? Cucumber slices, and I made a spread with a mixture of cream cheese, a tiny bit of kewpie mayo, fresh dill, and fresh chives.

What does the soap you use smell like? All the hand soaps in the house are super gentle fragrance-free kinds because I'm prone to getting eczema on my hands if I use harsher scented soaps.

Do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags? It depends on the shape and size of the gift.

The last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color? Yes, he has blue eyes.

Does anyone you know have their hair bleached? I can't think of anyone.

When you're on the phone, do you doodle? No.

Is there anyone you know by the name of Frank? Not that I can think of right now. I know someone with that as a surname, though - he's one of my husband's copilots and also a friend of my dad.

Do you own a trenchcoat? Nope.

Name the hardiest piece of technology you own? Probably my old Thinkpad gaming laptop.

Have you ever written with a pen that had pink ink? I'm sure I have at some point.

Do you remember the last thing you took a picture of? I just checked my camera roll, apparently it was a photo of the Greek salad I made last night haha.

From where you're sitting, can you turn the lights off? Yes, because they're smart lights and all I'd have to do is tell Google/Siri to turn them off, or turn them off using my phone.

When was the last time you accidentally slept in? Yesterday. I didn't have any plans or anything, I just slept way later than I thought I would.

Tell me the last thing you searched on the internet? Ralph Lauren handbags.

The last argument you had, who started it? I don't even know who I last argued with.

Do you wear a ring on your left hand middle finger? No.

Are you currently in a smoking environment? No. No smoking allowed in my house!

Can you remember the title of the song you last sang aloud? No.

If a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? Usually. Unless it's obvious they're being a creep, but that pretty much never happens.

Tell me the current time? 6:27 p.m.

Are you currently listening to music through earphones? No, I don't use headphones, earbuds, etc. because of my hearing disorder.

What color shirt are you wearing? Is it your favorite color? Black. It's one of my favorite colors to wear, but not my favorite color in general.

Do you own a pair of rubber boots? No, but I'm thinking of getting a pair for our trip to Ireland in a few weeks.

Have you ever owned a tire swing? No.

Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? No. I have parrots, but they don't mimic human speech.

What make-up are you wearing currently, if any? None.

Name one thing you are glad you accomplished today? I haven't accomplished much of anything today hahahaha. I'm having a lazy Thursday at home.

Name one thing you wished you accomplished today but didn't? Eh, I don't know. I don't need to accomplish things every single day.

Have you ever been afraid to call someone, even if you knew them well? Yes, I felt that way the first time I called my Granny after my Granddad passed away, because there was absolutely nothing I could say to her that would have helped her feel better, or me feel better. I knew that it would be one of the saddest phone conversations I've ever had (and it was).

Do you ever not speak to someone because you're afraid you'll annoy them? No.

Is there any drama going on in your circle of friends? I don't really have a circle of friends. Nearly everyone I socialize with is family.

Have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama? Probably? I can't think of anyone off the top of my head, though.

Is there anyone you know who wears their hair in pigtails regularly? No lol.

Personally, do you think you have a nice smile? Sure.

Do you have a nervous twitch? No.

Have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? Nope, I've never had to.

How about a hungover friend? Nope. Again, never had to.

Does the idea of snowpeaked mountains and a large lake sound appealing? Of course.

Pick any number that has personal significance to you? 6.

Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? Nope. I always travel with just a carry-on. I haven't checked luggage since my honeymoon in 2012 lol - I even went to England for like 9 days with just a carry-on bag! However, I'll be checking a bag when we go to Ireland. I plan on putting my AirTag inside, juuuust in case.

What's your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? If it's only for sport, like trophy hunting, I think that's horrible. But I'm fine with people hunting for food.

Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? No. Magnum at Cedar Point did give me a horrible headache, though.

Do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than two languages? I'm not sure. Maybe?

The last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them? No.

How many windows are open on your computer right now? Just one.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? It's fairly fast, around 300 mbps.

Have you ever gone in a sauna? No.

Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? Blue.

Have you celebrated your birthday yet this year? Yes, my birthday is only 6 days after New Years.

Is there anything you're saving up for? Not anymore, we've already surpassed our savings goals for a house and the trip to Ireland. Well actually we are still saving/investing for retirement, that's what the majority of our money goes towards now.

Has anyone ever been prejudiced towards you? Yes, because of my gender.

Are you taller than most of your friends? No.

Know anyone with a really annoying laugh? Yes, one of my husband's aunts has an inexcusably loud laugh, the kind of explosive noise that makes your ears hurt. It's really quite rude of her.

Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? No.

What is the longest time you have gone without sleep? Maybe like 40 hours when I was in college. I remember one weekend where I was working airport ops during the air show and was very very busy.

Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yep. I've been to the Caribbean a few times.

If given the opportunity, would you act in a commercial? No.

You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? No.

Have you ever baked a pie? Of course.

What is your favorite social networking site? Ehhhh. Maybe Instagram.

Who was the last person to call you? My husband.

Does anyone in your family tell funny stories? Sure.

Do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? It depends.

Is there a war memorial where you live? Yes, in the park on the town square.

Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? I had ancestors in the American Revolution, but I don't have any family members who fought in any wars more recent than that one.

Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? I'd paint the walls light beige, but that's all. The walls are very pale blue-ish gray, and it makes the room feel a little cold.

Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No, I don't think I've ever encountered a stray dog.

When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? Whatever.

Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? No, the longest train ride I've been on was only between Wilmington and Baltimore.

Are you normally a person to tell people off? I can be, yes. I won't tell a person off over something minor, but if they're pushing boundaries or behaving rudely towards me, I definitely won't be a doormat, I will tell them to stop.

Name an object that most would consider odd that's special to you? A tie with an embroidered pattern on it in the shape of Hilton Head Island. It belonged to my Granddad. Him and my Granny used to have a vacation house on the island, and some of my favorite childhood memories are of going to visit them there.

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn't have? There aren't any animals I want as a pet yet can't have.

Do you currently have any bugbites? Yep, I got a few mosquito bites at the cookout last weekend.

Is where you live on a boulevard, road, street, or avenue? Technically our address is on a Drive, but the private part of the street (where our house is), is a Circle, and it shows up as ''**** Circle'' on Google Maps and Apple Maps.

Is there currently any caffeine in your system? Yep, I just had a cup of Irish breakfast tea.

Look around, are things organized? Kind of lol.

Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn't? Firefly is the standard answer to this question haha. Such a shame they canceled it. OH and I also wish they continued on with The Expanse. They ended the show way before the story from the books comes to an end.

Know what you're planning to do after this? I have a few packages on the front porch that I need to bring inside. I also need to load/run the dishwasher, do some laundry, and text my brother about farmer's market/shopping/lunch plans for Saturday.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal blog

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sinclarify · 1 month

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forcing u guys to understand the relationship between kane and natsu through the SONGS ON THEUR PLAYLIST!!!! hehe :3 i sorted every song alphabetically & with the lyrics that fir with them the most and you will read it and you will know everything at the end of it. lalalala. here we go. a lot of these only pertain to kane because he's my favourite stupid guy but !! funeral by phoebe bridgers is there thats natsu's pov bc kane fucking dies LOL

all i think about now - pixies “i try to think about tomorrow

but i always think about the past

about the things that didn't last

if i could go to the beginning

then for sure i would be another way

make it better for today

if i could go to the beginning

i would be another way

make it better for today

remember when we were happy?

if i'm late can i thank you now?”

andromeda - weyes blood “treat me right

i'm still a good man's daughter

let me in if i break

and be quiet if i shatter

getting tired of looking

you know that i hate the game

don't wanna waste any more time

you know i didn't hold it up

love is calling

it's time to give to you

something you can hold onto

i dare you try”

back to the old house - the smiths “when you cycled by, here began all my dreams

the saddest thing i've ever seen

and you never knew

how much i really liked you

because i never even told you

oh, and i meant to

are you still there?”

bag of bones - mitski “fluorescent store lights, you shine through the night

illuminate my pores and you tear me apart

mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight?

i'm tired of this searching, would you let me let go?

i know my room is a mess, over and over again

i tell myself i'll clean tomorrow

just move the stuff up off the bed and do what you came here to do

but first open up a window for me

and let the cool air in, feel the night slip in

as it softly glides along your back

and i hope you leave right before the sun comes up

so i can watch it alone”

best person you know - lowertown “do you believe in god, or anything at all?

what morals do you stand by?

have your standards started to fall?

do you believe in god?

what makes you build yourself so high?

can't see you anymore

it's almost like the features of your face are indescribable

eat the shit that you've made

go sit in that grave, the one that you've dug for yourself

i don't care, your body isn't mine

you no longer mine”

between the bars - elliot smith “drink up baby, look at the stars

i'll kiss you again, between the bars

where i'm seeing you there with your hands in the air

waiting to finally be caught

drink up one more time, and i'll make you mine

keep you apart, deep in my heart

separate from the rest, where i like you the best

and keep the things you forgot

people you've been before

that you don't want around anymore

that push and shove and won't bend to your will

i'll keep them still”

black star - radiohead “troubled words of a troubled mind

i try to understand what is eating you

i try to stay awake, but it's 58 hours

since that i last slept with you

what are we coming to?

i just don't know anymore”

call it fate, call it karma - the strokes “can i waste all your time here on the sidewalk?

can i stand in your light, just for a while?

i've waited around to wait in a room

having a hard time watching you (watching you)

i need someone

i need someone”

call me - rainlord (feat. .keshi) “say you'll call me baby

tell me you'll be okay

if i leave you alone today

i'm better than this

you're better than this

we're better than this

oh god, we're better than this

why do it like this?

why do we do it like this?”

ceilings - lizzy mcalpine “bedsheets, no clothes

touch me like nobody else does

lovely to just lay here with you

you're kinda cute, and i would say all of this

but i don't wanna ruin the moment

lovely to sit between comfort and chaos

but it's over

then you're driving me home

and it kinda comes out

as i get up to go

you kiss me in your car

and it feels like the start of a movie i've seen before”

class of 2013 - mitski “mom, would you wash my back?

this once, and then we can forget

and i'll leave what i'm chasing

for the other girls to pursue

mom, am i still young?

can i dream for a few months more?”

the comfort of a laugh track - roar “if you could only see me now

i know i'd disappoint somehow

i'm stuck inside a fantasy

where i could be all you would need

will i live in shame of

the things in the past that i should have done for you?

and is it possible to

forgive all the ignorant ones if they're just too young?

fake love, yeah, you know you'll be truly missed

fake love must be some kind of abstinence

let's not make much more out of all of this

let's not, but we still can pretend we did”

cupid - jack stauber “how can cupid?

how could you be so cruel?

how can cupid?

how could you be so?

oh, circumcise my love for you (wah, wah, wah, wah)

it's far too vapid and aimless (wah, wah, wah, wah)

i wanna be painless (wah, wah, wah, wah)

love soldier, i want closure (wah, wah)

and a dollar for the bus back home”

dagger - slowdive “the world is full of noise yeah

i hear it all the time

and me i am your dagger

you know i am your wound

i thought i heard you whisper

it happens all the time

i thought i heard you whisper

it happens all the time

she whispers while i'm sleeping

"i love you when you smile"

i didn't really lose you

i just lost it for a while”

deep sea - snail mail “die, my love

breathe in twos and fours

to know what's worth breathing for

some days it's easier than falling asleep

and we can be anyone

it took so long to know someone like you

and age in the dying sun

wake only to bathe in greens and blues”

duvet - boa “and you don't seem the lying kind

a shame that i can read your mind

and all the things that i read there

candle lit smile that we both share

and you know i don't mean to hurt you

but you know that it means so much

and you don't even feel a thing

i am falling

i am fading

i am drowning

help me to breathe”

fear - current joys “it's so hard to stop the rain

it's so hard to stop

starts out gold, but never stays

the neon takes my breath away

and now i feel it in my veins

but i don't want to be afraid

i don't want to live this way

i don't want you to leave”

first love/late spring - mitski “and i was so young when i behaved 25

yet now, i find i've grown into a tall child

and i don't wanna go home

let me walk to the top of the big night sky

please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe

please don't say you love me”

funeral - phoebe bridgers “and last night i blacked out in my car

and i woke up in my childhood bed

wishing i was someone else, feeling sorry for myself

when i remembered someone's kid is dead

jesus christ, i'm so blue all the time

and that's just how i feel

always have and i always will

i always have and always will

and it's 4 am, again

and i'm doing nothing again”

girl - salvia palth “when you're down, when you're down

yeah, you scare me, the nicest person

i will wait, i will wait

dali said that you want me also

will you say, will you say?

i thought no one would think about me

but it's not surprising that

you thought about me

i thought you'd feel like an ocean, all reactive

and lucid in emotion, why'd you think about me?”

goodbye, my danish sweetheart - mitski “there's some kind of burning inside me

it's kept me from falling apart

and i'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart

but it's kept me from falling apart

now here i lay as i wonder about you

would you just tell me what i'm meant to do?

'cause i've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew

you can see how it's blossomed for you

and i don't blame you

if you want to bury me in your memory

i'm not the girl i ought to be, but

maybe when you tell your friends

you can tell them what you saw in me

and not the way i am”

how to disappear completely - radiohead “in a little while

i'll be gone

the moment's already passed

yeah, it's gone

and i'm not here

this isn't happening”

hurts me too - faye webster “i hate that feeling at night

when i thought my eyes were closed

but they were open the whole time

it was just too dark to know

and what am i 'posed to do when

my dad cries in front of me?

do i just close my eyes and

pretend like i didn't see?”

i know it’s over - the smiths “i know it's over and it never really began

but in my heart it was so real

and you even spoke to me and said

"if you're so funny

then why are you on your own tonight?

and if you're so clever

then why are you on your own tonight?

if you're so very entertaining

then why are you on your own tonight?

if you're so very good looking

why do you sleep alone tonight?"”

“love is natural and real

but not for you, my love

not tonight, my love

love is natural and real

but not for such as you and i

my love”

“oh mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head

oh mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head

oh mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head”

i’m yours tonight - bloodwitch “at last i see you

on high

come down upon me from the sky

show no mercy, my life

i'm yours tonight

i'm waiting, for you to show me, a higher love

don't spare me from the truth

i'm ready”

jigsaw falling into place - radiohead “before you run away from me

before you're lost between the notes

the beat goes round and round

i never really got there

i just pretended that i had

words are blunt instruments

words are sawed off shotguns

come on and let it out”

just - radiohead “one day he'll get to you

and teach you how to be a holy cow

you do it to yourself, you do

and that's what really hurts

is that you do it to yourself, just you

you and no one else

you do it to yourself

you do it to yourself”

kimochi warui - car seat headrest “and i will not go to heaven

and i will not go to hell

i have no faith in death

to be anything at all

(i feel sick)

(i don't feel well)

(what a disgusting feeling)

(i don't like this feeling)

(how disgusting)

(this feeling sucks)

some of these things are symptoms

and some of these are being human

and now, i'm torn between (and now, i'm torn between)

trying to be a better man (trying to be a better man)

and trying to accept the man i am”

la lune - billie marten “breaking my back in the heart of this land

feet above water and softened in sand

i could have wanted any part of this

but i find that heat is too harsh on the skin

drowning in light, need the cold to sink in to my soul

my soul

ignore signs of change no more

i come back again, i am flawed”

last flowers - radiohead “'cause i can't face the evening straight

and you can’t offer me escape

houses move and houses speak

if you take me there you'll get relief, relief

relief, relief

it's too much

too bright, too powerful

too much

too bright, too powerful”

last words of a shooting star - mitski “i always wanted to die clean and pretty

but i'd be too busy on working days

so i am relieved that the turbulence wasn't forecasted

i couldn't have changed anyways

i am relieved that i'd left my room tidy

goodbye”

lavender blood - fox academy “lavender is always running through my blood

i've had enough, i'm cold and it is dusk

turn into dust, it's dripping from my gums

it's not enough”

love like you - rebecca sugar “i always thought i might be bad

now i'm sure that it's true

'cause i think you're so good

and i'm nothing like you

look at you go

i just adore you

i wish that i knew

what makes you think i'm so special”

no distance left to run - blur “when you see me

please, turn your back and walk away

i don't wanna see you

'cause i know the dreams that you keep

that's where we meet

when you're coming down

think of me here

i got no distance left to run”

no surprises - radiohead “this is my final fit

my final bellyache with

no alarms and no surprises

no alarms and no surprises, please

such a pretty house

and such a pretty garden

no alarms and no surprises

no alarms and no surprises, please”

numb - men i trust “hon'

please forgive me if i ever did you wrong

i'll be your candle; burn me upside down

from now on, i won't sleep on my arms

numb

is how i feel deep inside my soul

need to feel that i am on the line

i'm sorry that i dragged you down my way”

pink in the night - mitski “i glow pink in the night in my room

i've been blossoming alone over you

and i hear my heart breaking tonight

i hear my heart breaking tonight

do you hear it too?

it's like a summer shower

with every drop of rain singing

"i love you, i love you, i love you

i love you, i love you, i love you

i love you, i love you, i love you!"

race - alex g “cause you think the brains in your head are worth

breathing this smoke and itchy throats and being happy

and i could be your man all day

and you could look inside my brain and see this one thing

but then it disappears like smoke and you're alone

i forget

how to play

the game

everyone

wants to come

along

i don't know

where you are”

real men - mitski “real men don't need other people

and real men suck it in

real men don't flinch or bleed in public

oh, i think i'm a real man

little boys cry and look around for comfort

and always get what they want

little boys see toys and say, "i can take that!"

oh, you are my little boy”

rocky horror - billy cobb “staying up late.

i should go to sleep.

it's tuesday but i can't stop thinking of your skin.

i've been known to be a hopeless no good nobody and they're right.

i know your eyes can see right through me,

but believe me, it's my pleasure.

i'm staying watching rocky horror.

you know i love that movie.

i love the way you grab my heart.

like it's a gun.

fire away.”

saint bernard - lincoln “saint bernard sits at the top of the driveway

you always said how you loved dogs

i don't know if i count

but i'm trying my best

when i'm howling and barking these songs”

september come take this heart away - carrisa’s wierd “all of these windows

bring in the cold air

i hope you have a coat

to keep you warm

warmer than those last times we spoke

warmer than the last words we said

i'm sure the wind blows gently on you now

i hope that nothing will ever remind you of me

glue that faded photo on a worn out journal page

it reads september come, please take this heart away”

show you a body - haley heynderickx “i am letting you go

i am letting you go awry

it was more than a race

more than the wind

chasing the flood

you opened the gate

and fate is a sundress

ripped at the thigh

thigh high and safety net

swarmed by the hornets' nest

to cover my eyes

it was more a mirage

in sickness and health

i showed you a body

like a cluttered garage

i am humbled by breaking down”

snow - ricky montgomery “summer's over, love had left her

screaming at the screen

oh, and it's understood that the both of us are no good

i'll always be that short little gloat

always clearing his throat like he ever had something to say

and i'll say

when i go, bury me six feet in snow

here we are wasting our chances for the last time

and when we go, i'll try not to be so slow

skeletons, skeletons, what do we have here

hiding from the mirror?

say it once, say it twice, try to be nice

well, let's not lose ourselves”

some things cosmic - angel olsen “the things that you said

i felt my soul

rise up from my body

when i look into your blue eyes

if cosmic force is real at all

it's come between you and i

i want to be naked

i don't mean my body

i don't need my body

i'm floating away”

so you wanna be a superhero - carissa’s wierd “long look in the mirror

just looks back so blankly

you were right: i can't do this

i'm going crazy, it's fine by me

now you can see

how much i've become empty

i might be leaving soon

my dreams are full of what's not real

i'll fly away and save the world

i'll make you proud someday

i just won't be around to see your face

my life is full of what's not here

i'll go away and save myself

i'll make you proud someday

i just won't be around to see your face”

true love waits - radiohead “i'm not living

i'm just killing time

your tiny hands

your crazy kitten smile

just don't leave

don't leave

and true love waits

in haunted attics

and true love lives

on lollipops and crisps

just don't leave

don't leave”

unlucky - lunar vacation “see you in the street

start to wonder deeply

if i changed how i was

how would everyone view me?

in my room

i remember you said

if you cross that line, you may lose more than you'd bet

so unlucky

you're in love and i'm unlucky”

vanilla baby - billie marten “today, i feel close to ill

it seems to be alright

steady hands and steady feet

i push you far behind

miles to go, i'm drifting slow

this wholesome life of mine

mother told us not to go

no fingers in the fire

alright

i am only as good as you want me to be

i don't pick up the phone if i don't want to speak

i am only as good as you want me to be

i don't know what i'm doing”

we’ll never have sex - leith ross “depollute me, pretty baby

suck the rot right out of my bloodstream

oh, dilute me, gentle angel

water down what i call being grateful

oh, you kissed me just to kiss me

not to take me home

it was simple, it was sweetness

it was good to know”

worldstar money (interlude) - joji “i looked at you and said, oh-oh-oh

don't hate me, am i crazy?

so tenderly you watch me burn, you watch me burn, oh

so tell me, am i crazy?

'cause i do, 'cause i do

ooh

la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (goddamn)

ooh (oh)

and i don't wanna die

no, i don't wanna die

i don't wanna die”

your best american girl - mitski “if i could, i'd be your little spoon

and kiss your fingers forevermore

but, big spoon, you have so much to do

and i have nothing ahead of me

you're the sun, you've never seen the night

but you hear its song from the morning birds

well, i'm not the moon, i'm not even a star

but awake at night i'll be singing to the birds

don't wait for me, i can't come”

“you're the one

you're all i ever wanted

i think i'll regret this”

you should be hated here - carissa’s wierd “and everything that no one knows

you should be hated here by now

this was the prettiest lie that i told tonight

it's been the prettiest lie that i told all year

the unmade bed inside the room (it could be now)

where i don't feel comfortable at all (and i don't feel proud)

where the blanket stared at me for hours (i'm so sorry now)

and i stared right back so self-righteously (i'm sorry now)

and it all comes down to composure that's been lost

when it all comes down to composure that's been lost”

you weren’t meant to see that - the rare occasions “i watched the windows shatter

as if it ever mattered

and for once in my life i see things for what they are

and not through the lens of profit and achievement

it's nothing when you need it

one of those fortune cookie proclamations

that i could never swallow

you weren't meant to see that

all the shit i should hold back

'cause it's all in my head and i can see it through your swampy eyes

that i won't always be the only one for you”

#my fanclass #kane cooper #natsu shimada #kane cooper/natsu shimada

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