#lol you can tell I don't do side profiles often

[sharkysherbetz]

Minish Cap Link

[yanderu-deredere]

Hello!! Ive been slowly working my way through your ocs and can i just say!!! They are soooo tasty, your brain is very big, also linking the profiles is soo nice im terrible with remembering stuff so its a nice refresher

Anyway i was just wondering how do you think Ayaka would be with a childhood friend darling 🤔

a/n: SORRY ANON BUT YOU'VE HIT THE JACKPOT this is literally my SPECIAL INTEREST i absolutely DIE AND LOVE THE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS TROPE

ayaka yamato ★ profile

being childhood friends with ayaka means getting to know the social media super star before she became popular girl material

before, her hair was pitch black and she also had a lot of acne. like now, she wore thick rimmed glasses but they were always plain black. she also wore a lot of formal clothes, chosen by her nanny. stuff like button ups, long pleated skirts, etc

as a kid, ayaka was basically caged so, to be her childhood friend, your parents had to have been really good friends with her parents

ayaka's parents often scheduled play dates with their good friends' children as a way to gain more social power among the rich

unfortunately, that's really the only way you could've met her before she began her rebellious phase

like frfr ayaka was basically isolated as a child. i cannot stress this enough lol

her little brother was doted on by her mom and her older brother was coddled by her father (since he's the heir) so, often times, she was left to her own devices

she, of course, had nannies and tutors but none of them really truly treated her like the child she actually was

to everyone she met, she was a yamato. and that was the only thing that mattered about her

this made her very hungry for affection and she took whatever she could get

and if you gave her any sort of affection? when she's starving? she'd eat that shit up and praise the ground you walk on LOL

though caveat to that is that you'd have to be in the same boat as her LOL becos she's always been easily jealous, especially back then, and if you were more free than she was, she'd resent you too much to get attached to you

she'd definitely use you as her guinea pig when she starts experimenting with fashion and make up too lmao

when she does go thru her transformation from goody good daughter to how she really wants to live her life, she brings you with her

but she won't let you become a socialite like her. no, you're only allowed to be with her, to be close to her, to be her friend

anytime you start slipping from her grasp, she starts isolating you until the only person you feel comfortable clinging to and depending on is her

"Do you think there's more to life than this?"

You looked up from your homework to see Ayaka staring intently at you, her head resting in her arms. She was pushing around one of the fruit peels that she'd left on the desk but it was obvious from her expression that she'd been serious about her words.

You considered her words for a second before cocking your head a little to the side "What do you mean?"

"I don't know... more to studying. More to being the kid of a CEO. More to all of this." She just huffed in reply before leaning back and crossing her arms "Feels unfair that we live like this."

I don't want you to live like this. She wanted to say but the words just stayed lodged in her throat.

Unfortunately, she didn't inherit a lot from her parents but she did inherit their inability to express affection. The sweetness, the love, always felt awkward and tough on her tongue.

She wanted so desperately to tell you about her feelings, to let you in and let you know, but all she could do was peel you clementines and sit by your side, hoping and praying that you'd notice her.

Certainly, if not her, you found yourself thinking about her words. You'd never really thought about that before. You were always following your parents' rules that it felt blasphemous to consider going beyond them, to see what it was like beyond the rules and the gilded cage.

Because you were aware. You knew the life they had you live--the life Ayaka's parents had her live--was one of imprisonment, doomed to never do what you wanted to do.

But you'd lived the life for so long that imagining what life would be like any other way left you drawing a blank.

"Let's start living life our own way." Ayaka suddenly uncrossed her arms and took your hands into hers, that eager grin on her face infectious "You and me. Nobody cares about me like you do, anyway."

"And nobody cares about you like I do, right?" There was something dark to her tone right then, like there was more to her words. But she looked so mesmerizing, so sweet, that you found yourself nodding.

Ayaka only beamed even brighter "We'll decide how we want to become, not our parents."

[guiraguira]

I love that despite you always describing Jakurai so angelic and pure in your works, you have his drink face as a profile pic lol..

So, maybe a fem! s/o just wanted to spend an evening with Jakurai and made a small party with dessert and cocktails.. but didn't warn him that this delicious drink is not just juicy but some sort of an alcoholic cocktail? And Jakurai suddenly confesses his love to her in this state? You can make it SFW or NSFW, as you wish!! <3

Just a little alcohol🔥

Ah, Now that you say it you are right Lol, His face drinking in the manga is very funny and I could not help it.

Oh! Jakurai drunk is something dangerous! You have to be careful! (I think I exceeded a little sorry)

Warnings: alcohol, personality change, some aggressiveness, masturbation, oral, dirty talk?

Jakurai drunk x fem reader!

° You had waited a lot of time for this little opportunity to invite him to dinner in your department, but being a coward you disguised him as a small party in which you also invited Hifumi and Doppo with the hope that understanding what you were trying to retire early. Two years have passed since you work with him as a nurse and gradually this feeling of companionship became love.

° As the night progressed you left the idea of spending more time with him in private, concentrating on at least enjoying the evening with everyone. Hifumi had a couple of dishes as well and as a gift gave you one of the best -selling drinks of his host club, sweet and alcoholic equally, of which he spoke very often.

° In part you felt grateful that he accepted even before knowing that his friends would also go. That gave you a little hope that perhaps, a distant future corresponded to your feelings and your fantasies of being his partner would cease to be.

° Hifumi's laughs were spreading everyone and although there was a background movie, nobody was really watching her. Each telling his rarest anecdotes of the week, even Jakurai participated in that unusually animated. You did not pay much attention to what he said, your mind was focused on how his lips moved while talking, something that he surely noticed.

° You were absorbed in their gestures, following every small detail. Barely testing bite of everything you prepared, see him feed is more than enough for you. When you broadcast a high sigh, I ask if you are fine since I notice how little you ate. You lie quickly saying that you ate during the cooking of the dishes and you are already full. His eyes interrogate you for longer and you feel like a slight blush dye your cheeks. It does not believe you completely, but accept what you say.

° Near midnight Doppo began to worry because the next day he had to go to work and was getting late, giving him the reason Hifumi also thought it was time to retire. Collecting the dishes of the table, your hands intersect with those of the doctor who removes them for you and takes them to the kitchen.

° Despite announcing that they should leave, they were so lively that they kept talking until the departure was inevitable. Guiding them to your door, you greet the three, assuming that Jakurai would also leave. But it was not so, he stayed by your side when they two left, closing the door for you and heading to the kitchen continued to clean.

° "You don't have to do that, I thought you were leaving, you don't have a job tomorrow?" You say something confused while you help it to clean it too. "Ah, but I have no job tomorrow, let me do this yes?" He slightly incline him head smiling, convincing you instantly.

° Your mind is stunned because unexpectedly you had managed to be alone with him in your apartment, not in the way you expected but that was not a problem. The problem is how silent everything was in contrast to a few moments ago.

° What are you supposed to do now? The tranquility is suffocating you no longer looking at it and without realizing they end up faster than expected. In a desperate attempt to spend more time with him you remember the drink that Hifumi leaves and you offer it in thanks.

° Do you leave a cup for each one and serve the drinks "actually ... I was thinking you were a bit distracted ... something happened?" Sitting gracefully in front of you now if you are totally exposed, you knew that you had small slips, but there was no way you were so obvious. "I talk about work too, it is not that you had mistakes or something alone ..." Leave the phrase in half and he take the first sip, abruptly swallow all the drink at once.

° You had never seen him take, so you didn't know that he enjoyed alcohol so much using another cup and swallowing it in the same way as before you are absolutely surprised. Suddenly his head falls on the table, but lifts it quickly.

° You hadn't even sat when he stands and shouts raising his fist in the air laughing "ahhhhh ~~ this is very good! The party must continue and it is better if we are alone"

° With a hidden face for his hair, he approaches you invading your personal space, he has a speed that is not typical of him, taking carefully, you take a step back to get away, but you can't go back behind from you is the kitchen's countertop with which you are trapped.

° The proximity is such that their purple strands obscure the light around you as a curtain. You look up to his face looking for his eyes and an explanation but he is so close that you can feel his breathing, you try to push him by putting pressure on his torso but he holds your hand firmly with both hands of his hands.

° "I need you to try this, Hifumi was not wrong is the best!" Without releasing your hand he reached the drink and wait for you to drink "that's!" Drawing with him serves another drink and takes the same cup that you had used, keep driving you a couple more times until you tell him that you cannot anymore.

° "No, no, you must continue drinking for cheating on me! I thought we were alone and it was not so" acting on a way again pushed you against the countertop. "It was the perfect opportunity to confess to me, I was sure that it would be today for that I asked tomorrow free" his arms close everything possible and invade your space again, but you still process what he said before.

° "were you going to confess?" Your eyes light up by leaving aside the situation. "What if I was going? Forget about that" stretching on you, intimidating you with your figure and bringing his face closer to the point where you can smell his breath low his voice to a more serious than normal. "S/O, I like you for a year but I didn't want to hurry things, every opportunity I had always interrupted" there is a blush on their cheeks but you don't know if it's for alcohol or his words

° "I am in love with you, this heart only be beating in this way from the moment he found out someone there could whom he could love" pressing your hand against his chest could confirm how agitated he was and how incredibly fast . "S/O, I adore every centimeter of you. S/o do you love me?" Your knees yield for the tone of your voice, closeness and sincerity.

° Timidly nods "I love you too Jakurai .." Then he kisses you, a little more aggressive than you would like but you cannot complain, slowly becomes softer until you separate in search of oxygen.

° "Now allow you to give you a real kiss that I have been holding on and let me keep drinking" I feel you on the table and kiss your crotch dressed keeping visual contact. You close your thighs for surprise and its unexpected strength. Damn that you liked more than it should.

° Removing your pants and underwear is only dedicated to kissing your older lips and clitoris, licking and devouring all your juices but without giving you more stimulation. It keeps you firmly open for him, panting sound and vulgarly without an apice of shame against your entrance, it is exciting and that warms you as much or more than his elegant personality.

° Your breathing is broken every time you think he will use his fingers, but nothing of that happens, at least not yet. You put a hand in his head asking more and he responds by sinking his face more, ticking you with your nose and breathing.

° "I hope you also have free tomorrow, because I do not plan to finish" it bites very close to your center causing a stab of pleasure that you know very well and you are ashamed that it happens so fast and for so little. Fulfilling his promise take to the last drop of your orgasm, containing your hip that did not stop shaking

° Ruborized and trembling, collapse on your back trying to stabilize your breathing. Nor did you know that you liked this kind of dirty things. He falls on you, crushing you, containing you against the hard surface. A few drops fall from their chin on your lips and he also cleanses them. You can feel the mixture of flavors and differently differentiate each one.

° One of his hands holds your waist and the other grabs your arm licking before bite. Start push with great power your center, he is still dressed, so you can barely feel his member but knowing that he is like that for you drives you crazy. Drag his mouth by your arm, you clearly feel how his groans die in his throat. His looks at you is melting your mind.

° Your juices stain his pants, but he does not seem to care looking for more friction "s/o ... s/or ... say ... that you love me ..." with difficulty and between gasps he pronounces those words, with a saliva thread shining in the corner of his lips, without stopping his thrusts.

° You open your mouth but you cannot say it, you are rendered, so that your body is not able to move and doubts even to be able to raise a hand. ".... I love ..." You move your lips just being able to say the latter. He understands perfectly.

° his hips stop his madness to give rise to his fingers that are finally introduced there. His enthusiasm clearly shows you that he has no intention of ending quickly and knows that he meets his words.

° Stop looking you for a second, scanning the doors of your department. You know you are looking for your room. Ahh damn, this was just beginning. Your mind, before surrendering to pleasure you think you should thank Hifumi properly after this.

[welovethecloudboytoomuch]

HI hello can you tell me where you got that rooftop gang drawing or is it just from the last chapter!? (Which I haven't seen yet) 🥺

Sure thing! It’s from the final volume of Vigilantes (Vol 15) extras. Currently the extras are only available on the electronic version of the volume on ShonnenJumpPlus that requires a membership (though I could be wrong about this), but hopefully the extras will be posed to the MHA Vigilantes Fandom Wiki in a few days.

The sketch that I posted is the only one of the rooftop trio from the final volume but I wanted to make it worth your time so here are all the extra drawings I can find of the Rooftop gang:

Vol 5

In private, Ms. Kayama keeps her sexy hero side subdued and comes off as more of an ordinary woman. Almost motherly even. The three little girls are cute and inoffensive, making them easy additions to any scene. By the way-they're in middle school, making them teenagers, just like Pop and the twins. [HIDEYUKI FURUHASHI, Author of Vigilantes]

For Midnight's casual look, I referenced her "house clothes" profile page from the main series. I’m a big fan of knit one-piece and boots, but sadly there weren't any really good angels of the boots in the story (LOL) In Furuhashi's rough draft, all three of the girls had the same face, but I decided to make one of the three a little off, just like with the Sturm and Drum perv brothers. It's becoming a trend. [BETTEN COURT, Artist of Vigilantes]

(In case you can’t tell the taller woman is midnight undercover)

Kaori (Midnight) and Kazuha (Pop)

The original plan was for these two not to realize the huge age gap between them and just think they were in the same year at college, but that would make Midnight seem more oblivious than she is and stall the flow of the scene, so I changed it to "they're working an undercover mission together." I'm always happy with the results whenever I ask Betten-san to design a group of girls in street clothes. Show me all that fashion! [FURUHASHI]

I don't mind coming up with street fashion now and then, but when I have to do it for a whole group of characters at once? Kill me, please! I was pleased to discover that when you give Pop a different hairstyle, she actually comes out looking cute in an ordinary way. (LOL) [BETTEN]

Vol 7

For the so-called cosplay chapter, I submitted a list of costumes ideas and Betten Sensei dew the best ones. Aizawa's such a serious guy so pretty much any costume looks funny on him. [FURUHASHI]

Often when reading the rough draft of a chapter, I think, "Wah ha ha, this is hilarious!" But when it comes times to draw, I'm stumped. This time was no different. I didn't want to piss anyone off! That was the main thing on mind while drawing. (LOL) A Japanse tennis player had just won some big tournament, so when I saw that on the news, I thought, why not have Aizawa Sensei play tennis too? [BETTEN]

Vol 8

Vigilantes has always incorporated cameos of characters from the main series, and though the whole Young Aizawa arc is an example of that, we got a much more intense reaction from readers than usual demographic. [FURUHASHI]

The only snippet of Aizawa's and Mic's school days provided by Horikoshi himself came in "The Digression" page of volume 6 of the main series. When I realized that, I was at something of a loss. "Oh crap..." I thought. [BETTEN]

There's a canon line of dialogue in the main series about Midnight's old costume having been even more scandalous in the past, so that was a point we had to touch on in the flashback arc. So many people asked if Sushi the cat was a parody of Sushi the dog in Tite Kubo's Burn the Witch one-shot, but actually it was more of a play on the series, Shota no Sushi...[FURUHASHI]

I received specifications and references images for Midnight's costume from Furuhashi-san, and upon reflection, I think I stuck a little too closely to the reference material. [BETTEN]

Name: Oboro Shirakumo

Birthday: 5/5

Height: 187 CM

Favorite Things: Blue Skies, The Sun

Quirk: Cloud

Shirakumo's whole concept started with Horikoshi Sensei describing him as "a Mirio-like friend of Aizawa's during his school days." Then, through a lot of back-and-forth conversations between Horikoshi Sensei and the Vigilantes team, we came up with a more detailed profile, visual design and so on, until the character really took form. Shirakumo's presence meant that Aizawa's and Mic's personalities and roles had to be a little different in the past. That necessitated including that altered portrayal , as well as showing the way they changed moving towards the present day, so the Young Aizawa arc turned into a pretty extended affair. It'll keep going for several more chapters. [FURUHASHI]

Shirakumo's U.A. uniform design came from Horikoshi-san. The googles I designed as part of his costume just happened to look like Aizawa's, and I'm grateful that Furuhashi-san picked up on that and made a whole point of it. [BETTEN]

Vol 9

For both these guys, my request were "lighter equipment than present day," "traditional period" and "shonen-ish." Once you add those googles, young Eraser Head is complete, so to speak. [FURUHASHI]

Since those two are in their powered-up forms in the main MHA story, I wanted to imagine these versions as an earlier stage of that. As if they would improve on these designs over time to achieve their eventual styles... Kind of like that. [BETTEN]

“We got a gift illustration from Horikoshi sensei! Isn't that great, Shota?!”

Vol 11

In Vigilantes, Midnight's character is basically an obliging woman who loves to look after others, which I extrapolated from her presentation in the main series (where she's a teacher who interacts with students a lot, and is someone whose, let's say, "proclivities," influence her words and actions). I can always count on her to discuss things with Koichi and the gang. [FURUHASHI]

For some reason, I get a lot of chances to show Midnight Sensei in street clothes or disguises. (LOL) I don't know if I'm nailing her whole image correctly or not, but I'm having fun at any rate. [BETTEN]

Midnight is always stylish in just the right way for the occasion, so her hero costume isn’t the way it is just to please the crowds. It’s a deliberate choice, stemming from her progressive sense of aesthetics. Probably. [FURUHASHI]

I’m quickly running out of wardrobe ideas for Midnight’s noncostumed appearances. With the draping, cape-like coat, I was trying to evoke a crisp, military-style look. [BETTEN]

And that’s all I can find! Hope this helps.

[stormblessed95]

Sometimes the people virulently denying Jikook are in a romantic relationship (that's right, I said it, THEY ARE) remind me of the people who insisted that The Matrix was absolutely not a trans allegory, or that Victor and Yuri were straight and everybody who saw all the blatant queer coding was absolutely ridiculous. Obviously Jimin and Jungkook are real people, but all three instances had me asking the same questions:

How trans is trans enough? How gay is gay enough??

Even after the Wachowskis both came out as trans, even after the creator of Yuri on Ice confirmed the romantic nature of Victor and Yuri's relationship, people STILL TO THIS DAY refuse to believe and accept the truth. A whole fascist leaning movement even adopted red estrogen pills as their symbol 🙄

No matter what Jimin and Jungkook say, no matter what they do (and they've said and done SO MUCH, way more than enough for anyone paying attention, imho,) there will be people who will refuse to believe it. Even if they explicitly come out and state plainly for the record that they are in a committed romantic relationship and have been for years, people would ignore it just as they've been doing, and the worst among them would probably call it a publicity stunt.

So I don't understand why jikookers insist on answering or fighting with these people. They will never accept what they refuse to see.

Is this a dig at me for the couple tkkr anons I responded to? 👀 lol sometimes I can't help myself. Especially when they come into my spaces. But I generally very much so agree with you. Especially how it will never actually be enough for some people. They could come out one day and some people would call it queerbaiting, fanservice and a publicity stunt, like you said. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You could practically Waterboard certain people with the *truth* and they still would armament refuse to drink. So pointless fighting is pointless. It just creates more discourse and more drama. And it gives each side more ammo for whatever their narratives are against other shippers. It's ultimately not worth it. Which is why unless tkkrs come into my inbox or DMs, you won't see me engage very often with them. And most of the time not even then, I block them more often than I answer them. 99% of the time I'm just quietly blocking and reporting. And for anti accounts I'm sharing their profile with friends in DMs so they can report as well.

^ this is Yuri and Victor right? I still need to watch this anime. I've been wanting to. Someone please tell me where I can watch it. I'll probably look it up tomorrow anyways.

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 3

I'm putting this above the cut because I am outraged:

THEY CUT SOME LINES ON BBC iPLAYER. THEY CUT THE LINE WHERE MORGANA SAYS MERLIN IS "A LOVER"!! THEY CUT MERLIN SAYING "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT". WHAT KIND OF VICTORIAN CENSORSHIP IS THIS!!!!!

seriously!! (I only noticed because I'm watching this with subs off this time, but I had a transcript to glance at on my phone because sadly I can't hear without my subtitles).

random thoughts/observation:

• Interesting choice to have Nimueh cast her curse via a Fabergé egg

• Nimueh doing her Galadriel shit in a very cool cave actually

• S1 Arthur had some snazzy little outfits. Love the Jedi vest.

• I don't like bad cop Arthur :(

• baby's first raid!!!

• okay but Gaius tells Uther the plague is caused by sorcery, and the king IMMEDIATELY sends Arthur to search Gaius's chambers? "we're searching every room in town" my ass. Uther only trusts Gaius as far as he can throw him, which explain a lot about the way Gaius keeps begging Merlin to keep a low profile.

• this is maybe one of the gayest episodes. if you don't think so you're looking at the wrong couple.

• Gwen picked flowers for Morgana. MORGANA WAS READY TO FIGHT A CAVE MONSTER FOR HER GIRLFRIEND MAID. Don't talk to me.

• Merlin and Gwen's friendship is so heartwarming and pure and I've missed it!! wish the writers had remembered they were good friends later in the series

• Can we talk about Merlin being such a lovely boy. a literal ray of sunshine. can we.

• Gaius (in ep 1): "Magic shouldn't be used for idiotic pranks!!". Merlin (in ep 3): "okay so can I use it to save a man's life?" Gaius: "NO"

• I can't tell whether or not Gaius knows about the prophecy (if the writers had even decided at this point). He keeps making allusions to destiny and great things to come, so it kind of sounds like he does?

• Merlin & Gaius having their first significant disagreement about the best approach to take to solve the problem at hand. They are Feelings vs Logic. I think fandom sometimes forgets young Merlin was fierce and opinionated as well as kind and sweet. Any boy less stubborn than him wouldn't have lasted long around Gaius. I think this is one of the ways in which they are similar — both headstrong and loath to back down when they believe they are right. Which they often do.

• Gwen only asking Merlin to remember her after she's executed 😭😭😭

• lol @ Merlin being laughed out of the room after his attempt at a heroic sacrifice. He really thought he was doing something.

• Arthur: "OBVIOUSLY he's not a sorcerer!! leave him alone. he's mentally ill and in love and stupid. did I mention stupid"

• the elemental solution was kind of stupid (the beast is made of clay > water + earth, so it can be defeated by fire + wind?). They literally didn't know it was going to work. MERLIN SWEETIE WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN B. WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN A, EVEN

• great Afanc monster clearly just a guy in a suit. that's just Steve from the make-up department.

• Merlin casting his spell without a care for who hears it. BABE YOU'LL GET CAUGHT

• I know the last exchange between Merlin and Morgana is meant to be a gag but it’s also sad how relieved and happy Merlin is at hearing Morgana say she knows his secret, and her asking if she can talk to him about it :(

All in all a cute little episode, not much to say about it

funny/notable quotes:

• UTHER (to Morgana): Have you ever seen an enchantress? Believe me, they bear no sign, no mark. There is no sense of evil in the eye. (👀)

• KILGHARRAH: You are but one side of a coin. Arthur is the other.

[treatbuckywkisses]

warning: extremely long post.

nobody asked for this lol but i see so much abt supporting creators and people mainly focus on writing and i one million percent agree but i wish you guys would treat all content creators the same lol. some of us can't write so we make gifs/fanart/moodboards etc. i make moodboards and that's all so i can't speak for the gifmakers or anyone else but i am almost 100% positive it's definitely not as easy as it sounds. even making moodboards. yeah how can making a collage of pictures not be easy

let me show you My process a little bit so you can get somewhat of an idea. this is what I usually do there's no wrong or right way and everyone is different but i wanted to share with you what goes on in my head ig

so first i think of an idea right, a trope or something. sometimes i can be inspired by a fic i read. sometimes i just think of something id like to try and make/see. requests are different but that's not why I'm here today.

im using my demon!bucky moodboard as an example bc i had a lot of trouble with him lol. demon bucky is very popular so naturally i wanted to try my hand with him. and it was around the flaunt photoshoot so i had prime materials at my fingertips.

so i usually look into the vibe i want to give this was demon!bucky so we did demon, dark and also a bit of red to accent the photoshoot pics.

then i figure out a layout and how i want them to be.

first made was this one:

it was okay but i didn't like the pics of seb and how they ended up being that way it was too many side profile pics for me.

so i tried this:

i changed one pic and moved 2 and i still didn't really like it how i thought i would

so i tried this one:

honestly this one is my least favorite one. the knife is killing me i hated how it turned out. i just couldn't get them to work how i had imagined in my mind. and then the reds were one one side and the b&w on the same side together ugh it was just no good.

so i went on to this which is the one i finally posted:

i was actually super happy with this one. it was like a great balance imo of everything I was trying and it still gave demon to me (and hello he is scrumptious) i was so sos sooo excited to finally post it after working on it for so long and it didn't even end up doing that good.

also not shown are me playing with the background color. i tried different reds and greys but hated them so I deleted them but there were at least 3 of each lmao.

these are the notes on it today lol:

one of those reblogs and one comment is from myself so those doesn't even count asldhdkdh

now. not every moodboard is like this. sometimes i get lucky and love the one i make on the first try. but that doesn't happen as often. maybe im just doing too much idk that's what it feels like. especially for the "notes" i always get. so many likes hardly and reblogs and almost never comments. which idk comments don't do a lot for me if you don't reblog it yk. reblogs are so important. you tell me you like it so much you want to show all your friends this silly thing i made so maybe they can show their friends too.

maybe im just in a mood today but idk lol someone sent me a request last night and i almost cried because i was so excited.

[kindan-no-kanojo]

Thinking thoughts. I haven't changed the profile pic since I created the blog over a year ago, and the more I look at it the more iconic seems to me (?) Like I don't think I'd be able to change it and get used to it easily lol.

I just love how it looks and fits. When I created this blog and not many people knew about Scarlett as a character (aside from friends) I thought it was perfect as in the right amount of mystery and elegance; light colors for her clothes since the most eye-catching feature is her hair, her eyes are not shown and neither are her ears, which are the two strongest points of her Ghoul nature when it's triggered. Also she's only wearing a calm smile that hides her fangs as well, so it seemed to be perfect. And it was, and it is.

Yes, it's only a picrew, but there are (and I've done) hundreds, and this one happens to be my favorite.

And now everyone who crosses Scarlett knows what she is and it might not give that sense of mystery anymore, but honestly every time I see it (in other blogs, for example) I just feel happy. Whenever people see a redhead character or a crow and tell me that it reminded them of her, I feel some kind of endless joy that I can't describe, and it goes beyond my crack reaction to it.

OC blogs are not as "catchy" as canon blogs and it's only natural, which makes me feel greatly thankful for all the people that just passes by, leaves a like, an ask, follows, whatever, regardless of them staying or not. We're almost 200 already and I'm just so happy. Thank you so much.

I simply started this blog because I wanted to try out an old dream from the past lmao (?). I'd see people creating OC blogs and ships and getting questions and interacting and I was like. I want that. And I actually tried three times before deciding to make this one, but deleted them because I was scared gjdgd.

I don't know, I've been having (and continue to have) hard days and weeks and all and I try not to overwhelm myself trying to create and share things; but then seeing this blog and the things I can do and write and friends I've gained along the way never fails to cheer me up. Reblogging silly memes and interacting through them is such a warm experience. Sharing the route I always wanted to make, people shipping their characters with mine, arguing even, brainstorming, or making her gifts, drawings, hype over things I share... I never expected such a great reception and I can't thank you enough. Despite not being able to share all as often as I'd like, I love that people are still on the other side willing to interact or just know about her or read or anything, really. No one has to, but those that do anyway have a special place in my heart.

Scarlett is such a precious character for me and she's been part of me for the longest time, since I created her on a whim around 7 years ago, with her million changes and everything that came with it until today. The only consistent thing, maybe, was her hair and eye colors and the fact that she's so important in my life. I love her and I love that people love her. I may project some things on her but don't we all-

... this post started as a comment of my pfp and I rambled so much omg. Sorry about that, but if you read this far, thank you. For everything.

[make-me-imagine]

hiiii follower here and I saw ur doing ships for followers hehe ❤️ for a male character and fandoms are marvel and Star Wars, with head canons?

i am a very sarcastic person and am also super competitive and driven - my mbti is infj (which is actually very fitting lmao). one of my worst character flaws tho is i argue just for the sake of arguing (im working on it i swear) and my competitiveness often goes into being over competitive. I also tend to make inappropriate/dark jokes. On the POSITIVE side, i think I’m quite witty and funny, and i also am the person who gets shit done 😂 my zodiac sign is a Taurus which makes sense because i definitely enjoy being boujee and lazy sometimes and can be fixated/stubborn 😂 clothing style/aesthetic goes between emo/rocker and pastel princess. There’s like no in between lol. i am very indecisive. looks wise i am short (5’2), long black hair, tan, brown eyes, and i would probably say curvy. im in my mid-20s. my biggest turn on in a partner is honesty.

Sorry but for like half a second when I saw your profile picture (the small version on the ask) I thought you were my high school bully and I had a small heart attack. lmao, but false alarm 😂😂

I hope you like them!

Ships are under the cut~

Marvel:

I ship you with Pietro.

He's also very sarcastic, sassy and witty, so I think he would be attracted to that same vibe. Also, he loves being a lot taller than his s/o, so he'd love that you were short

Runner Up: Tony Stark

Headcanons:

Like I said, he love that you are short. You are the perfect huggable size, cuddling size, and arm rest size.

He is also very competitive and argumentative for fun, and this ends up becoming a love language in your relationship. People often mistake the two of you for being enemies, or frenemies, and when they find out you are dating they are always confused lol

Pietro is brutally honest, which can get him into a lot of trouble, but he knows that you appreciate honesty and will never keep things from you.

You get along really well with Wanda, which is a big plus for Pietro. He considers you family as well, as does Wanda.

I don't really know why, but your 'vibe' gives me the idea that in the Marvel world, you would be able to manipulate electricity and lighting. Do with that what you will lol

You and Pietro have a similar sense of humor, and often people might overhear your jokes and be afraid that you two are "not all there" lmao

-------------------------

Star Wars:

I ship you with Han Solo.

Han would also be drawn to your argumentative, sassy personality, as it would pair well with his. You challenge him in the best way and he adores you for it.

Runner Up: Poe Dameron

Headcanons:

Han often makes fun of you for being short, especially when you are angry, mostly to make you angrier (because he loves when you get feisty, no matter how much it annoys you). Short-cake, Little Bird, Shortie, etc.

But if someone else makes fun of you or your height in any way, he turns on them immedietely and tells them off (usually with a demeaning joke or sarcastic comment)

Again, another brutally honest person, but he admires your honesty with him as well, so as long as you tell him the truth, he will always be honest with you.

You two bicker quite a bit, but usually it's not about anything important and there is never any love-loss between you.

Han comes off as a pretty "distant" guy, but one way he shows love is by giving you random trinkets and gifts when he's been gone, or after you'd have a rough time. The trinkets always have some form of use, and underlying meaning that he knows you understand.

Both of you are quite competitive,, so you often make up random games and bets between the two of you. I bet I can shoot down more ships than you, I bet I can take out more imperial soldiers, I bet I can get there faster, etc.

Your competitiveness when you two are working as a team however makes you an impressive and unbeatable team.

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(

i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖

Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3

[twistedtalking]

♤◇Welcome to a wonderful wonderland♧♡

Anne, the beloved prefect of Ramshackle. Friendly, yet blunt. Caring, yet not afraid to call you out.

Impulsive. Cheeky. Surprisingly mature. She makes friends, she makes rivals. And she is somehow able to capture anyone's heart.

She is the perfect self-insert, and that is all thanks to me.

Hiya! The name's Annie. I practically run this show. My main job is being in charge of making them scenarios. Whether that means threatening the other Rosla or whipping the twst cast in shape (making 'em fall in love), I do it all.

Is it super tiring? Yes. Is it super fun? Also yes.

It is much harder than it looks to make Azul Ashengrotto not obsess over finances for the remaining of the daydream (But well, we want pathetic scheming man). Sometimes, when the characters are being too difficult, I create my own clone version out of them. Though it's much more fun if it's the original souls we played with. A bit more difficult, but their surrender is quite satisfying.

When I'm in charge of threatening playing with the other Rosla, I act pretty childish and smorally grey.

It's fun, showing Mayuu's deepest, darkest secrets to her greatest nemesis. Or to her greatest allies. I get an entertaining reaction either way.

"Okay! Let's see which yandere you'll be stuck with this time, Mayuu!"

Persona: Annie!

Pronouns: she/her :>

Age: It depends lol. My age fluctuates a lot! After all, I'm sometimes played by the author, and she's much younger than that. Other times, I play a wise 400 year old. But yeah, I usually look 16. So 16, I guess?

Fun tidbit: I'm the only twst insert who canonically has powers! The rest of them have it on the mage AU. I could open up portals to different dimensions, like that yandere one. (Though don't tell any of the others that, else they'll make me return them to the real world.) I could also make my own dimensions, or alternate versions of them. My favorite past time is plopping a sleeping Mayuu into a romantic dimension and see her panic at all the positive attention.

Fun tidbit 2 since I'm awesome: I'm also the one in charge for your asks! Aka I throw pies at Riddle while the author takes notes :>

Not-so-fun tidbit: I know I ain't real or anything. Am sentient. Its really cool, but there are some not-so-nice side effects. Some of which you will see in the "background" part.

I really hate it when I've got nothin' to do. When she doesn't think of me or twst. It doesn't happen often. But the nothingness I feel, ugh. It's so void-ish.

Plus the existential crisis is weird. Like, who am I? Am I Annie? Am I Anne? Something else entirely? Nothing at all? Who am I? What am I? What should I do? Whom shall I play when were not playing a game? These thoughts roll in my brain, refusing to leave. And i am left to ponder. What if I am nothing?

The pain that is caused from all of my questions. I hate it. And so instead, I opt to doing nothing. No smiles, no talk, nothing. At least the void is softer than the rabbit hole.

Background:

Unlike the other Rosla, I don't have a family. I've been in her brain for as long as I can remember. I guess the other Rosla could count as my family, but they all have families of their own. Sometimes I can see their family. Lucky me, huh? I'm the most connected to the real world. But I'm the farthest from being real. Aw gosh, I hate being mushy. Anyways, here's Anne's character profile.

Persona: Anne

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 16

Fun tidbit: Anne loves cosplaying. And impersonation usually accompanies that. Let's just say, Heartslabyul had one too many mini freak-outs :)

Not so fun tidbit: Maybe Rollo was right. Maybe magic does corrupts character. After all, Anne was the sweetest child growing up. Yet now you can see her push Rollo into the pile of fire lotus. That's what you get for hurting her Deuce.

UM:

The chant is very much based off cinderella. And I think the UM is very self-explanatory.

I hope you enjoy my daydream.

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

makes total sense that your friends knew you cheated and decided it would be a good thing to blab to other people about, specially given the fact it was a high profiled relationship and could end up with my friend grilled on the tabloids. I'm saying this as someone who absolutely sees cheating as an absolutely awful thing to do to someone and if I knew a friend of mine did that to someone, I would probably be very critical towards them and my perspective of the person could change. That said, I have my own values and ethic so even if I disliked what he did, I would absolutely not tell other people who have no business to know something like that.

Now if you ask me about someone from his side leaking the breakup even without meaning to, I could see that happening. This fandom seems to have accepted that's how they knew and I can more easily agree even if I'm not sure. Specially if Taylor did indeed break up with him via email and they saw their friend in bad shape after, I can see them commenting on it with someone cause they were mad on his behalf. Like "damn dude she broke up with him via email, how harsh could you be".

We also saw Taylor's friends being mad and petty on her behalf, but hers did it on a much more public way. For a while I actually had the theory that it wasn't because he did a very bad thing like the fandom believes (I still don't believe that), but that they found out his friends blabbed and that's how the breakup was leaked and it was a response to them being able to confirm it. As in it struck a nerve that didn't kept their mouth shut, because Taylor wasn't ready for the news to come out yet. So to them it could have looked like a betrayal or that Joe told his friends for them to leak it on purpose

I very much agree with your last paragraph, anon! And even if that weren’t the case, Joe’s friend unfollowed Taylor too. Like… when a breakup happens people are gonna take sides and it’s gonna be messy and petty. It’s just that way it (often, not always) is. I can’t tell you how many times friends came up to me after a breakup and I supported them 100% even if part of the blame was on them. In the long run you see things more clearly and you’re able to talk about it in a more rational way, but in the immediate aftermath you’re just petty on your bestie’s behalf (cue to a 40-year old, Ryan Reynold, using a MH song in a story after the breakup and after Taylor had started dating him lol). It’s just the way it is.

[fangtastic-vampyra]

SRA DREAM/RANT/The Cursed Monthly Gift/Contagion

Being miserable. From. My family. Like I keep dreaming I am walking around naked lol. Maybe cause the blankets are heavy? Irl? Or just feeling way too open and such, online, yet some say vulnerable is strong. But anyway, once I found some clothes um, I was asking if my cous could be my roommate, and they say we get "another patient" as a roommate, it was like a sort of um, HUD thing? Well. I went off. Said I am leaving there, and everything, and going to take over my mom's house. WHICH was like a pt3 from a dream of a Hurricane happening in LA again, and I kept asking people to secure my stuff, I really am not rich enough to buy the 3RD round of clothing and tech and everything. (I also dreamed I was THE JOKER in a movie, starring me.. and had like two boyfriends and two girlfriends lol)

Um, cont with this recent one from a few hours ago... Telling them (my family) abt me with the suicidal ideation within it, dr knows, its just a side effect of being trans, and not as tall as i think i "really am". Like. Begging them to bring me back across the lake and stuff. As we would say. Ugh. {Thirty minute drive.}

Before I passed out, a voice told me, that I was pretty much (my balcony oversees the lot, obv, but like REALLY, does, our location) abandoned here, she/mum doesn't care if i have food/money/etc, and with the schizophrenia (being like jimunji) as it's, V2K DEW EMF SPRITE AI and Handlers, Im often spinning/out of it/dazed feeling... Like they know you have mental probs but expect you to "act" like you don't? How could you even comprehend that?

So I found some guy that cared, he looked me up all over internet from a FB dating profile. Guise, be careful what you put out there. Me? I figure I'm just..dying from Covid anyway..and The Contagion...

Feel grouchy, breasts are feeling uh tenderness or wahtever, prob starting period, but I really dont think thats what it is "spotting".

...my fucking dumb ass. had sex with this guy but like WHY does woman have to be the one "put a condom on please" like Im not doing okay... adjusting to this whole "society as a targeted individual with people who come to the house with rx psychiatric meds"--Pushin going to a DR with me. it could be side effects of T/Estrogen.

This guy is like a handler and that. Dont you know in 9 months. Dont you know child support and that. Idk I was looking at TV and it said abort. Idk probably lil antichrist in there.

I dont even want to be here, alright?

But as far as no one ever loving me, as some mistake of God, a baby would love me. Forever.

Fucking dudes. Weirdos.

Im weird. No. I realize. I am perfectly naturally fucked up from this HORSE SHIT. I have to now take responsibility as some kind of uh. Fuck up. Fubar. I dunno. We shall see. Stupid woman body. Cant even really stop itself from being pregnant. Its just..the dumbest shit. Yeah pills? I pass out. Surgery? Demons. Lots of them. Uhhhhh idk. Kinda hung up on a kid loving me. FECKING LIL RETARDED ASS CHICKENS KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF UNWANTED PREGGERS. (They can get rid of the sperm ugh) HUMANS? NO. This is so fucked up. And politicians and all like want us to have babies in our tummies. Where are they when this baby is hungry and sick? Stealing my Fucking money, calling me an undesirable, and whathaveyou. Prolly, you know, tilling him/her to the grave,

[leatherbookmark]

given v1 thoughts, but about that one (1) specific scene (spoilers obvs but i don't think anyone here cares lol)

i am FASCINATED with mafuyu at the end of ch6, because like. am i misunderstanding, or is he... in his own way, angry? so far in the four volumes that i own and have briefly flipped through, i don't think i recall him being truly >:O angry, but this moment... reads pretty explicitly as anger to me. although again! it's mafuyu! who's to say! he's a pomeranian of a guy!

but also, i do remember that he can say mindlessly cruel things.

and like! it obviously wasn't haruki's fault. he had no way of knowing, and akihiko only knew because he literally Was There, overheard the conversation between mafuyu and ritsuka and did some internal math. when you're 22 and your bandmate is 16, obviously you want to tease and fluster him with questions about his experience with love (especially if the other 16yo in your band is ritsuka, who's a perfect target for loving bullying, lol).

but mafuyu... clearly wasn't comfortable with the topic being breached, especially after bumping into hiiragi after... fuck, six months of not seeing him? six months after his boyfriend committed suicide? and he had no words to express all the things boiling inside of him yet. he only tells ritsuka "there was someone i really loved" at the end of vol1, after the conversation with haruki and possibly, if not for that, he wouldn't have told him.

but back to haruki. i just. love, love, love this casual cruelty of mafuyu's. his half-lidded eyes, almost bored face when he says that akihiko was just looking out for him and his feelings, almost baiting haruki to ask about it, and then delivering one bomb after another: you like akihiko, right? well, then what would you have to say if one day he disappeared from this world? while smiling.

while smiling.

and then he goes on!! that you're sad? lonely? that you miss him? you don't know?

me neither.

well, see ya, good job today.

ugh!!!

did it feel good, mafuyu!!! i bet it did. bottling it all inside for so long, being utterly incapable of putting it into words, let alone telling someone the full scope of what happened -- it must be so exhausting. so he just drops it, both vague and ruthlessly direct and personally tailored to the person you're talking to. hey, did you think i got dumped big style in a public space? no. the person i loved does not exist in this world anymore. they're gone. can you imagine that? bye.

it's almost... Fictional Story-style Dramatic -- deliver a Shocking Confession in the most casual, careless way you can, then leave -- but it's so good. and the shot of mafuyu leaving is almost villainous in its framing -- haruki's dumbfounded profile, mafuyu's profile behind him, his eyes hidden. beautiful.

it's such a nice transition of mafuyu who's a human pomeranian, innocent and ignorant, to a mafuyu who's observant, cruel on purpose and in retaliation, and i love it so much! hilariously, one of the omake yonkomas (!) in this volume reveals even more of that "more mature than you think" side of mafuyu, when he says that ritsuka is probably popular because he has the vibe of a virgin and it's cute. it's played of as a joke, akihiko chokes on his drink, the end, but like. mafuyu doesn't know that you can just change rusted guitar strings! he's so pure-hearted and silly, a picture of an innocent virgin! but nope, he and yuki fucked, and from what it sounds like in the vol2 omake, often enough for mafuyu to be unfazed when yuki suggests having sex in the bathtub.

i was here worrying that i might not get invested in the lads enough, but AUGH this one moment would be enough. (and i have skimmed the later volumes so i KNOW what's going to happen and gksfhgskjfghsfj rubbing my hands together like a little fly)

i also checked the endnotes and it turns out cheri+ is a quarterly, just like rutile in which hwsk ran! i thought it was a monthly magazine. well, it makes given just as painful to get invested in! on one hand i'm sad i missed the last chapter in real time, on the other, DEEP SIGH i'll have to physically stop myself from reading the translated chapter online and just wait until vol9 is available on mdrk;;;;

also god i got the images above from a "manga online" website and i made the mistake of checking the comments. "kizu natsuki best bl mangaka!!!" okay, won't argue with that. "i mean come on it's a bl with no extreme hardcore s*x!!!" oh, shut the hell up and go back to your homework.

[alltoolewis]

Hi!

Can you make one where y/n is like a little sister for Lewis and she’s dating with Lando, she has an accident and both oh them take care of her?

Thank you!

No love like it: Lando Norris (ft Lewis Hamilton)

oooh, I love this idea, although I find it really hard to write for Lewis in a brotherly way lol!! Thank you for being so patient & I hope you enjoy it!!! ❤

Being Lewis Hamilton's little sister came with some perks. From attending high profile events to following him across the world, you really were blessed. However, the biggest blessing in your brothers career was the chance you got to meet the love of your life... Lando

The minute your eyes locked with the young McLaren driver you knew it was game over. Finding yourself strolling along to the McLaren pits way to often than should just so you could spend some extra minutes alone with him, without the wandering eyes of your overprotective brother. But despite Lewis's pleads for you to not get involved with any of the other drivers, he knew Lando well enough to know he would never intentionally hurt you!

"Are you sure you don't want to hang out in here instead?" Lewis asked, giving you a final hug as you wrapped the bright orange lanyard around your neck.

"Lewis, It's Lando's turn to have me in his corner..." You giggled, he hated having to share your attention with another driver... especially cause you're supporting another team! "I'll be straight back after the race.. okay?... Just in time for you to lift another one!"

"Alright... off you go!" He smiled, despite having to share your love, he was happy to finally see you in love, wanting to do your own thing! However, his happiness didn't last long...

"There she is!!" Danny cheered as you entered the McLaren suit, your arrival causing a soft blush to appear on Lando's cheeks. Running over to you quickly, Daniel wrapped you in his arms causing you to stumble back "Thank god you have arrived... Mr lover boy was thinking you had ditched him for your bro again!!"

"Oi! Be careful!" Lando hissed, as he grabbed the Australian off of you "Your going to hurt someone one day with your craziness!.." His words caused Daniel to smirk as he shooted off to find his next victim to annoy! "You didn't think I actually ditched..." You smiled, pecking your boyfriends cheek as the heat radiated on your lips. "Of course not... You love me more right?"

Hesitating, you playfully looked away from him "Ummm...."

"(y/n)..." Lando gasped, hand on his chest like he had just been shot "I'm your boyfriend!"

"And he's my brother!" You argued, a huge smile on your face as you watched him roll his eyes "I love you both with every beat of my heart... It's just a different type of love!"

"But mines the best type right?" Lando smirked, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "If you say so..." Standing on your tiptoes you lean in for a kiss, but just before your lips could touch a worried voice knocked you both out of your trance...

"Watch out!!"

Before you could do anything, a big force hit the side of your head, blacking out immediately as you fell to the floor with a thud, causing all eyes in the McLaren garage to be on you. "(y/n)!" Crouching down next to you, Lando held your head as he gently shook you "Please wake up... (y/n)..." His voice broke as there was no sign of you gaining consciousness "Who the hell threw a 2kg helmet at her head!"

"I'm so sorry mate..." Danny sighed, voice full of concern as he watched the scene in front of him in shock "Zac told me to pass you your helmet and I didn't think.."

Ignoring him he turned towards Sue, tears brimming his eyes as he continued to cradle your head "Please go get the medics.. tell them to be quick please!" However his soft worried voice turned sterner as he turned back towards his teammate "And you... you can go explain to her Lewis why his little sister is lying unconscious in my arms..."

The second the words slipped out of the Australian mouth, he sprinted to his old team garage... ignoring everyone's calls as he searched for you. Finding you eventually laying on the bright orange couch, Lando's hand still clutching yours as he listened carefully to the medics. "Lewis..." He breathed out, already trying to calm the older driver down "Before you start, I didn't see it coming... she just fell before I could even stop him and..." Stopping Lewis placed his hand on his shoulder, giving him a look of belief before he turned towards the medic... "Will she be alright..."

"For now it just looks like she's suffering from a concussion... once she wakes up we'll be able to run more tests..." The medics' words calming them down as they waited for you wake up...

What felt like hours later but in reality was only 5 minutes, you woke up greeted by a worried Lando, relieved Lewis and a guilty Daniel. "What the hell happened..." You groaned, sitting up softly as you clutched the side of your head in pain "I feel like I've been hit by a bus..."

"Nahh... just a helmet..." Daniel chimed, causing both boys to send daggers his way, Lewis even shoving him as he brought his attention back to you "Some idiot decided it would be funny to throw a helmet at your head..."

"It wasn't supposed to hit her head... if anything I was aiming for Lan-" "How are you feeling tho...?" Lando whispered, as Danny and Lewis continued to bicker, shuffling next to you he wrapped his arm around your shoulder...

"Just a little headache, but I'll be fine don't worry!" You reassured him, kissing his lips gently which soon got your brother's attention back to you..

"Right you... as soon as the medics are done checking you over, your coming straight back to Mercedes got it!"

"What?!?" You and Lando moaned at the same time "Why... It's my turn to have her with me!"

"You had your chance and you blew it.. plus it's safer in my garage..." Glaring at Daniel once again he let out a soft giggle "There's no flying helmets there!"

[chosonore]

cynosure

cynosure [noun. one that serves to direct or guide; a center of attraction or attention]

pairing: sukuna/f!reader

summary: in which sukuna re-discovers being human one aspect at a time, through many lifetimes, at the price of losing you over and over.

wordcount: 8.7k

content/warnings: reincarnation au, slow burn but also not really because there's only hints of romance? language, it's not canon at all, just pretend sukuna was never sealed away, lowercase is intended

a/n: this is more self-indulgent tbh sukuna is probably uncharacteristically soft? sometimes i'm reminded of the fact that he used to be human and while we don't exactly know how he became a curse just yet, i kinda felt sad about it lol i'm too sympathetic with everything, it's gonna kill me one day fhuierhfa a lot of these moments are based on my own experiences, where i had to remind myself that even the small things in life are really good and important, especially during the pandemic. that being said, i hope you enjoy and stay safe everyone :) (and please don’t judge me too hard on this lol i haven’t written in like what. six years?)

001.

“oh,” you stared at the tall, pink-haired man in front of you. “i didn’t think anyone would be here around this time…” he stared back at you, not replying nor making any move to scoot over so that you could sit on your bench. it was only then that you noticed the black markings framing his face and adorning his wrists. you were a little dumbfounded - your mother had always said that you had a poor survival instinct. though you supposed that his pink hair eased your nerves a little; surely someone with pink hair couldn’t be as evil. but you couldn’t recall ever seeing someone like this around the proximity of your village. maybe he was a vagrant. 

“i don’t mean to be rude but… that’s my bench and i would appreciate if you could maybe… scooch over?” you asked gingerly, not wanting to upset the stranger. you approached him slowly, grasping your basket tightly. if he got a little rowdy, maybe you could just wack him with the basket, right? although it probably won’t hurt but it surely would stun him long enough for you to run.

“i don’t see why i should move just because it’s your bench,” the stranger answered gruffly, crossing his arms. were you naive or just stupid? “do you not know who you’re talking to, woman?” 

you cocked your head to the side, not sure what he meant. maybe he was one of those famous poets or musicians that your parents liked to talk about. you weren’t entirely sure. even though he sounded annoyed, the look in his eyes didn’t quite match the hostility - he looked rather bored, unamused even, but not hostile. maybe you could humour him a little. “am- am i supposed to know you? i’ve never been outside of the village so i don’t know much. only what the merchants tell me. i apologize if i’ve offended you,” you explained hastily, then pointing at your basket. “i just came here to enjoy the sunrise. um, today is my birthday, so i treated myself to some dessert!”

“if- if you scooch over a litte, i could share some with you…” you tried to bargain with him. now you were truly starting to sound desperate but this was your favourite spot and it was the first time in a while that you had a free day to relax. out of all days, just why did he have to be here now? you’d be damned if you let your day get ruined by this unfriendly stranger. 

“are you trying to bribe me?” the stranger narrowed his eyes at you and you thought this was it. he was going to kill you and bury your body in the forest and your parents would come look for you, only to find your empty basket and then start a huge search party to find you and- the pink haired man moved to the side, refusing to look you in the eyes. “sit.”

you let out a squeak in glee, quickly taking a seat beside him. he watched in silence as you unwrap your desserts, glancing at the objects in question. even though you’d offered to share with him, he didn’t actually expect you to give him some of your food. sukuna was surprised when you handed him a… round squishy thing? 

“what is that? how is that going to satiate me?” he asked, almost offended, which made you giggle. you didn’t reply, instead thrusting the mochi towards him until he begrudgingly took it, closely inspecting it in suspicion. 

“that’s a daifuku mochi. it’s made out of rice flour and filled with red bean paste. but come to think of it… do you even like sweets? i’m sorry if you don’t particularly enjoy it,” you explained and grabbed one as well. you were about to bite into your mochi when you saw the stranger opening his mouth, ready to devour the entire mochi in one go. in horror, you quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him, only to have him suddenly pin you down and tower over you.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you hastily said, now suddenly aware of the dark, threatening aura that he was emitting. maybe he was a killer after all. “i just didn’t want you to eat it in one go! they’re kind of difficult to eat in one go… plus you’re supposed to savour and enjoy it, take your time eating it!” 

sukuna stared at the girl in disbelief, you’d grabbed him out of nowhere just to stop him from eating too fast? not only were you not aware of who he was, you apparently did not know how to be cautious around strangers. it irked him that you were acting like he was a harmless human being. so much so that he briefly contemplated killing you. “who are you to tell me how to eat?” he growled at you, not softening his grip. he saw the panic and fear in your eyes but for some reason, he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, it didn’t fill him with joy as it usually did.

“i’m just telling you how we usually eat mochi!” you harrumphed, now annoyed that he was acting like you just committed murder. “you didn’t know what these were, so i was just trying to explain! food is supposed to be enjoyed, not ravished all at once. you have to appreciate your food because there might be days where you won’t have any. and besides, enjoying and properly tasting your meal is the least you can do to show gratitude to the person who cooked it for you.” sukuna let up and sat back on his previous spot, seemingly accepting your answer. you sat up, adjusting your yukata and pouted at him. what a rude stranger! you at least expected an apology from him but seeing that he was already taking a bite from his mochi, you guessed you should just let it go. it wasn’t worth getting angry over anyways, not on this day.

“why are you looking at me like that, little girl?” sukuna questioned, taking another bite from his mochi. he did actually enjoy it and it took every bone in his body not to hastily eat more and to savour it like you’d told him to. maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, it made him think about his meals a little more. not eating for the sake of eating, but for enjoyment, he mused. sort of like living for enjoyment, not for the sake of living. 

“you never told me your name,” the girl replied innocently. sukuna sighed. so you really weren’t aware of who he was. “my name is y/n! now it’s only fair if you tell me, especially because i shared my food with you. please?”

before sukuna could reply, he sensed someone quickly approaching. they were hiding somewhere in the forest; it likely was a jujutsu sorcerer, trying to exorcise him. he could deal with them later, but not here, not with you around. the girl looked at him in disappointment when he abruptly stood up, turning towards the forest behind them. unfortunately, he had the inkling that you wouldn’t let it go until he answered: “my name is sukuna, king of curses.” your eyes widened in recognition but you didn’t immediately react or scramble away from him, most likely frozen in fear. 

“now go. someone is coming and you do not want to be in the crossfire.”

002.

as a seamstress, you’ve encountered all kinds of customers. ranging from rude and bratty to eternally grateful, you’ve seen it all. your supervisor had always told you to remain calm and polite, to just adhere to their wishes to not cause any ruckus. after all, people of status often assumed that they were untouchable and could treat others poorly. it wasn’t worth the hassle to start a fight with them, you could lose your job after all. there was moments you’d have to stand up for yourself but this wasn’t it. fortunately, your employer paid you well, enough for you to provide for your family. the customers were high-profile after all.

you looked at the clock on the wall, your next customer was supposed to come soon. it was a nobleman that apparently travelled here from far away, having heard that the store offered beautiful, one of a kind fabrics. you just hope that he wasn’t rude and that you could leave in time. you’d been working overtime for weeks now, taking every appointment and customer that you could get. your mother’s birthday was approaching and you’d been saving up to buy some of the soft and silky fabrics to sew her a new yukata. your mother had always sacrificed her own comfort to buy the best items she could afford for your siblings and you and now that you were older, you could finally treat her to something nice as well. your employer was even willing to give you a small discount and you gratefully took up on her offer.

the chime of the doorbell made you look up, the good feeling in your stomach slowly fading when you saw who entered. you were familiar with the customer after all; he was well known in the area, being a rather volatile and sometimes scary aristocrat who had the reputation to be particularly difficult and having outrageous demands. you hastily stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of your clothing and walking over to greet him. you bowed politely, taking the outerwear that he took off and placing it on a nearby armchair. “sir, i’ll bring you a few samples shortly. do you have any colour or pattern preferences?” you asked him, placing a pot of tea and a cup on the small side table for him to enjoy. you made note of his wishes and disappeared in the storage room to pick up the samples. the customer had made himself at home, eyeing you scrutinizingly. he made you queasy, looking so incredibly unfriendly and you could tell that you were not going home early tonight.

you showed each of the fabrics to him, explaining what materials they were made of and what occasions they were good for but with each explanation, he just looks more and more uninterested. not to mention the snarky remarks he made, seemingly not happy of the choices you presented him. you were running out of options and you didn’t know what else to do to please him when suddenly you heard someone enter the shop. both the customer and you looked over confused - you weren’t expecting any more customers today, it was already late after all. a tall, pink-haired man entered the shop, scowling at your customer. you jumped slightly; he looked scary and you were terrified, not sure what to do in this situation. not only were the black markings on his face and body terrifying, there was also a threatening aura surrounding him, dark and slowly spreading out, all your instincts were screaming at you to run. should you politely ask him to leave? he looked like he wouldn’t take it too well. before you could ask him whether he was looking for something, the stranger spoke up: “you know who i am, leave.”

your eyes widened, slowly inching back towards the back of the store. you were not aware of who this man was but by the looks of your pale-faced customer, he surely did. “this is outrageous!” he exclaimed indignantly, jumping out of his seat. “you can’t just burst in here and demand that i leave! i have an appointment! are you aware of how long the waiting list is? this is the finest shop in the entire prefecture and i would rather die than to give up my spot for a scoundrel like you.” the stranger raised his eyebrows at the shorter man, clicking his tongue in annoyance. you slowly reached out to grab your pair of scissors. they probably weren’t of much use but it made you feel more safe, knowing you could at least somehow defend yourself.

“oh? you would rather die? i’m sure that can be arranged,” the stranger threatened and it was with horror that you watched his fingernails, sharp and pointy, grow in size. he wasn’t human, you’d just encountered a monster. he would kill you and it wouldn’t take him much effort to do so, you were sure he could just stab you with those fingernails. your customer squeaked and left the store in panic, slamming the door in the process, while you quickly hid behind the counter. you hoped he would leave you alone, you didn’t want to get involved. this wasn’t your problem, you were innocent and it was an unfortunate coincidence for you to be here. 

“stop hiding,” the stranger commanded, slowly approaching the counter. you peeked from below the counter, holding your breath. what else could he possibly want from you? demons surely didn’t need money. oh god, was he going to kidnap you?

he swiftly rounded the corner and knelt down to take a closer look at you - you couldn’t react fast enough, he’d already grabbed your chin and made you look at him, turning your head from side to side as he examined you. his fingernails were slightly digging into your skin, making your face scrunch up in discomfort. “so it is you,” he exclaimed in a low voice, then abruptly standing back up. you were confused - what did he mean by that? at least he didn’t kill you, at least not yet. but what else could he possibly want from you? “i need a new kimono. that scumbag just left anyways, make one for me instead.”

a kimono? a simple kimono? you couldn’t believe what you just heard. this demon just came in here, threw a fit but all he wanted was a simple kimono? you couldn’t help but scoff at the situation though it probably was difficult to enter a store without people fleeing or refusing to serve him. while he did look human, the markings on his face made it difficult not to feel threatened. but why did he know you? you had never seen this man in your life before. not in passing, not on drawings, nowhere. no matter how hard you wracked your brain, you just couldn’t recall. “d- do you have any- any colour preference?” you questioned him, watching how he took a seat and grabbed himself the cup of tea. 

“white,” he answered curtly, taking a sip from the tea. “i’ll leave everything else up to you.”

you felt uncomfortable but there was nothing else you could do than follow his orders. you grabbed a few plain white fabric samples and slowly inched over to him, holding them out with your trembling hands. “what?” he deadpanned. you huffed in frustration. 

“sir, you should… you should choose the fabric. it’s your kimono after all, you might not like the feeling of the fabric or it might not be a good fit for your everyday life,” you explained.

“i don’t care, just choose whatever. i’m above the comfort you stupid mortals choose.”

“that’s stupid,” the words left your mouth quicker than you could stop yourself and you slapped your hands over your mouth. the stranger looked at you as equally shocked. “i mean- i mean there’s nothing wrong with indulging in comfortable clothes!” you explained quickly, pressing the samples into his hands. “see you wouldn’t like scratchy clothes, right? or fabric that quickly makes you sweat or feel too warm! i always talk to my customers about what kinds of fabrics they would prefer… i believe life is too short to wear ill-fitting clothes or ones that don’t feel comfortable! good clothing should make you feel like… like a warm hug.”

the stranger didn’t look like he understood what you meant, making you scoff again. some people really didn’t care about what they wore and how they looked like and it just bothered you. good quality fabrics and well tailored clothing could make you feel confident and safe, even in the worst situations. how could you possibly relax if your clothing was maybe scratchy or ill-fitting? “i’ll prove it to you!” you exclaimed and left the room to gather your supplies, then coming back to instruct him where and how to stand so you could take his measurements. now that he was towering over you, you were suddenly very aware of how tall and broad he was. you felt like a dwarf next to him. up close, you noticed more details about him. he was attractive, you couldn’t deny that - the long wispy eyelashes, the watchful ruby eyes and his soft-looking pink hair. if he picked up on your staring, he didn’t comment on it.

once you were done taking notes and choosing fabrics, you gave him a slip of paper, noting down time and date for him to come back to pick the kimono up. “as for payment-” you started but the stranger dropped a huge bag of coins on the counter. you gasped, pushing the bag back into his arms. “sir, that’s too much! i’ll calculate the exact price for you but-” 

“take it,” he insisted and pushed it back towards you. “i have enough. you need the money right? see it as a generous tip.��� your face flushed, you didn’t even know what to say and instead only profusely thanked him. it was so much money, the tip was enough to cover your family’s expenses for a year.

when sukuna picked up his kimono weeks later, he still didn’t understand what a hassle you made about the choice of fabrics and why you were so diligent in taking the measurements. he was fine with everything as long as he had something to wear in the first place. he didn’t care, he wasn’t a measly human that whined about the mildest inconvenience. in the private of his abode, he tried the kimono on, abruptly halting his movements as soon as the fabric touched his skin. so the girl was right, the fabric did feel incredibly good on his skin. it was very smooth and silky, a little cool on his skin. very lightweight but not flimsy. the kimono wasn’t too short and fit his tall statue well, you really did a good job he supposed. he glanced at himself in the mirror. it did look good on him, even the matching colours and patterns were chosen well. you really were a good seamstress, no wonder everyone was flocking to the store.

now that sukuna wore the kimono, he suddenly didn’t want to take it off. it was comfortable and soft, reminding him of you.

003.

your favourite spot was one below a tree, on top of a hill where you could see everything. the small city below, the horizon, the stars in the sky. you often came here when you felt like your life came crashing down your shoulders. it didn’t feel like your own anymore, not with your future already laid out for you without you being able to control it. complaining had always felt redundant and ungrateful to you - you had everything you needed, a loving family, food on the table and your family was wealthy enough to not have to worry about money. but in return, they expected everything from you, their eldest daughter. sometimes, the pressure was too much for you but they expected you to do as they say. everything was well until they announced that you were to get married and they’d found a suitor for you. you couldn’t even protest, the decision had already been made behind your back and you couldn’t refuse. you sniffled quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. you didn’t know this man; he might be a complete asshole and not treat you well at all.

the wind was biting at your skin, cold and unrelenting, and yet you felt safe here, away from all your worries. the starry sky made you feel like your worries were miniscule, reminding you that there was so much more out there for you to discover. you’d always liked the sight of stars, they always made you happy. on lucky days, you’d even get to see a few shooting stars. you’d close your eyes and clasp your hands, hopeful that whatever wish you made would come true. the crunch of leaves and twigs made you look up in alarm, scared that your parents had found out you left the estate and now found your secret hiding spot. you couldn’t quite make out the figure in the darkness, only being able to tell that a tall person was approaching you.

you were wary, inching towards the tree behind you to hide but froze when a voice rang out: “i know you’re there. i was looking for you all over the city, little one.” a man clad in a kimono was coming closer, stopping right in front of you and looking at you in disdain. your eyes lit up as you recognized him; you’d met sukuna a couple of times in the city before, mostly when you went to pick up some books to read. he’d been there one time when you were choosing your books and scoffed at your choice. you’d ask him about it, wondering why he thought that your choice was a bad one. he went on and on about how historically inaccurate the book was and that the information about curses was wrong and how an author like that should be ashamed to even publish it. you appreciated the dialogue, you liked having someone to discuss with you. your parents didn’t like that you read fantasy books and books that talked about supernatural events and beings, dubbing them as nonsense and that you should focus on your studies instead.

after your third meeting, sukuna had finally opened up and told you his name. your meetings became more frequent then but you’d never met anywhere other than the bookstore. you were surprised that he even found you here; you decided not to question him though, sukuna always seemed to know where you were, always sensing where you were headed. truthfully, you looked forward to spending time with him. he was attentive and always listened to you, barely ever talking. oddly enough, it made you feel like finally, someone was paying attention to your thoughts and needs. lately, a heavy feeling in your chest was always accompanying you when you met up with him. it was a dull ache, some kind of yearning that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. it didn’t help that you felt like you’d met him before, but you really couldn’t recall where you had met him before. “what are you doing here?” you questioned him, scooting to the side to offer him some space on the picnic blanket.

unceremoniously, he sat down and glanced over to you. he didn’t reply, simply shrugging. “why didn’t you bring a coat?” you asked another question instead, frowning at his choice of clothing. aside from his kimono, he wasn’t wearing anything else. “you’ll catch a cold!” you scolded him, swatting his arm before tugging on his sleeve and signalling him to move closer to you so you could wrap the blanket around his shoulders. you struggled a little to reach him, almost stumbling - sukuna’s arm immediately shot out to hold you so you wouldn’t fall. your cheeks flushed red and you were thankful that it was dark. you cleared your throat and sat back down, snuggling into the blanket and his side. 

“by the way, i read that book you disliked the other day,” you told him, rambling about the contents of the book and what you thought of it, all while sukuna simply listened to you. he only spoke up when he challenged your way of thinking or to agree, otherwise staying silent and just watching you.

suddenly you grasped his hand in excitement, pointing at the sky. “oh, oh! look!!” sukuna’s gaze followed the direction you pointed to, spotting some shooting stars flitting across the sky. “you have to wish for something!” you squeezed his hand and nudged him, then squeezing your eyes shut to prepare yourself to wish. 

“what would i even wish for?” sukuna frowned and pinched your cheek. “what do you wish for?”

“you’re not supposed to share wishes! if you do, they won’t come true,” you argued back and stuck your tongue out at him. sometimes, he really was too skeptical, never indulging in harmless fun. it might be childish to believe in these things but sometimes that little spark of hope was all you need to wait for better things. you sighed when the shooting stars disappeared and let go of his hand, screaming internally. did you really grab his hand like that? you sure hoped you didn’t unsettle him. 

“i don’t think i told you, but my parents have found a suitor for me,” you confided in him quietly, staring at the grass near your feet. “i’m supposed to marry him next year but… i don’t want to, i don’t know this person and i just want to live my life with no one controlling it.”

“i see. there’s still time to get to know him, isn’t there?” you knew sukuna was trying to console you but it wasn’t exactly working. your words frustrated you a little; subconsciously, you’d hoped that he shared the same opinion and maybe, just maybe, help you do something reckless. 

“i don’t want to get to know him,” you huffed and crossed your arms (sukuna thought you looked like a petulant child). “i… i already like someone.”

“you do?” sukuna looked at you surprised and that was the first time that he’d shown any other emotion than indifference. you nodded shyly, hoping that maybe he’d get the hint. you weren’t confident just yet to confess to him but maybe he’d get it from your description alone? 

“i recently met him and i really like that he makes me feel like, you know, important and always pays attention to me. he doesn’t talk a lot but i think that that’s okay, we still have a silent mutual understanding, i guess. and i also think he looks really handsome! although i-”

sukuna had enough of your rambling, he felt annoyed that you were telling him about your stupid crush. whatever boy you had a crush on, they would never amount to the likes of him. why would you look at someone else when he was right there? right here, with you. sukuna reached over and grabbed your cheeks to make you look at him before pressing his lips on yours. you froze for a short moment before returning the kiss, holding onto his kimono when he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. why would you pay attention to someone else when he could be with you? for the first time in his existence as a curse, he briefly felt human again. maybe shooting stars were the key to wishes coming true after all; in this moment he wouldn’t mind being human again, being alone with her with only the stars as your witnesses.

004.

gradually you were really starting to dislike your night shifts. usually, you’d ask to cover them because it was quiet, there were no nosy customers and the only people that ever came in so late were sleep deprived students that pulled all nighters to write papers or study. well it used to be that way until a group of, presumably, freshmen started coming more and more frequently - they wouldn’t have been so annoying if it wasn’t for them talking and laughing obnoxiously loud. they would stay until late in the night and kept ordering drinks. the audacity to have oddly specific orders, to watch you like a hawk while you were preparing their drinks, it made your blood boil. to top it all off, one of the guys kept flirting with you, even when you’d already made it obvious that you were not interested at all. no matter how uninterested and abrasive you acted, the guy would not leave you alone and his friends would try to act as wingmen. clueless and horrible wingmen.

you were glad that you were never alone during your night shifts, depending on the weekday you’d work in a team of two or threes. whenever they could, they’d cover for you and you were thankful but also felt bad, which usually resulted in you taking over anyways. you placed the basket on the counter, grabbing a towel to dry the cups you’d just washed. the chime of the doorbell made you look up, your heartbeat speeding up at the sight of sukuna coming in. like the group of freshmen, sukuna had recently started to visit the café more and more. he usually only came late at night and he probably was your favourite regular. scratch that, he was your favourite, no one was as calm as him and he never caused trouble. yeah, maybe those night shifts weren’t all that bad, you thought to yourself. you looked forward to him visiting every time you had a night shift.

“hi sukuna,” you greeted him softly and gave him a smile, placing the cup on a shelf. “the usual?” he took a seat near the bar, placing his wallet on the counter and taking off his coat. sukuna was peculiar, not particularly in a bad way. you always thought that he was a little mysterious. he always wore the same kimono - who wears kimonos everyday in this day and age anyways - the same white kimono but maybe he just owned mulitple of them. you could never tell what he was thinking and he had never shown any emotions other than brief moments of bliss when he was having his usual order. his order had always and would probably always be a simple black coffee and some daifuku mochi. it was a weird combo, you mused, but somehow fit him. it was a sharp contrast, just like his tattoos and the soft pink hair. you finished up the order, pushing the cup of coffee and the plated mochi towards him - you’d sneaked another one in just for him, knowing how much he seemed to like them. sukuna looked up at you, ready to protest but you just brushed it off, telling him that it was okay.

out of the corner of your eye you saw your not so secret admirer approaching with an empty cup and you instantly knew you were bound to be annoyed again. you sighed, returning to the cash register to take his order. “so, when am i finally going to get to take you out?” the guy asked, leaning on the counter to get closer to you. you gritted your teeth, ignoring his question and instead took the empty cup, placing it in the kitchen sink behind you. 

“oh come on, don’t ignore me, baby,” he whined, not letting up until you answered. you were annoyed, so so annoyed. your co-workers were currently organizing the inventory so you were all by yourself - usually that would be fine but you’d had enough. this week has already been awful and you just wanted to be left alone. you glanced around, spotting sukuna on the side. suddenly a lightbulb went on in your head and you faced your admirer confidently. 

“i’m sorry but please stop flirting with me and trying to ask me out,” you started and pointed to sukuna who was innocently taking a bite from his mochi. “i already have a boyfriend and i don’t think he appreciates you cornering me like this. you being this persistent is really annoying, girls don’t like that.”

upon hearing his name, sukuna looked up and as if on cue, he glared at your admirer. “yeah, i suggest you fuck off. get a hint, you creep, she’s mine,” he snarled, making a move towards the other guy who was already scrambling to get away and profusely apologizing. mine, mine, mine. his words kept repeating in your head, your heart squeezing painfully. was he interested in you? would he ever come to see you more than just a barista? you sighed in both relief and affliction, trudging over to sukuna. 

“i’m sorry i dragged you into this,” you apologized embarrassed, shoulders drooping and you stared at the floor just so he wouldn’t see your reddened cheeks. “he’s been pestering me so much and i kind of thought that that was the only way to get him to back off.”

“i don’t mind,” sukuna replied curtly, resuming his seat. he didn’t say anything else and you slightly panicked, you wanted to keep talking to him, stay in his company for a little longer. 

“ah uhm sukuna, i want to thank you! if… if you don’t mind, i would like to treat you to another drink?” you suggested, your face now beet red. this was the most straightforward you had ever been with a guy, usually too shy to make a move. in distance you could hear the chime of the doorbell and the doors slamming, indicating that the group had left. you were alone. sukuna didn’t reply at first and you were sure you’d fucked up and got ready to backtrack and laugh it off when he nodded. 

“go ahead, little one,” he nodded towards the counter. “you choose the drink.”

you didn’t know why sukuna kept calling you little one but for some reason, you didn’t mind. it did however make your heart ache in what you could only describe as melancholy. you weren’t sure why. while you started brewing some green tea for the two of you, the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. the pitter patter of raindrops against the glass front was the only sound audible in the entire café. sukuna hadn’t uttered another word, not even making a sound of acknowledgement when you handed him the cup of tea and sat next to him. 

“you didn’t bring an umbrella,” you noted, looking out of the window. it was raining heavily, with no signs of it stopping anytime soon. “i guess you’ll have to stay here for a little longer, otherwise you’ll get sick. i hope you aren’t sick of me though.”

sukuna took a sip of his tea. “i don’t mind your company,” he replied, looking at you. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking but you sincerely hoped he wasn’t joking. hearing that gave you a little hope. 

“i like moments like this,” you confessed to him, clutching the warm cup with your sweater paws. “having a warm cup of tea and watching the rain from the comfort of your home. or in this case, a café. the sound of rain is really calming, isn’t it? makes you forget about all your worries for a while, it’s just you and your cup of tea.”

again, sukuna didn’t reply for a while. you thought you’d bored him to death with your monologue until he spoke up: “i don’t see how it’s any different from having a cup at any time of the day.” your cup was placed back on the counter. you frowned, not sure how to explain it to him. in moments like these, sukuna seemed to be something of an old being that has seen everything, feelings now dull and locked away. 

“well, see it like this. making yourself a cup of tea or coffee everyday is a normal thing to do, right? it happens almost automatically because it’s just part of your daily routine, you like how it tastes, it makes you feel more awake or helps you sleep. but… but you never really take your time to enjoy it, right?”

sukuna was contemplating, you almost giggled at the little frown on his face. but you were glad that he was willing to listen to you and discuss it with you, instead of dismissing the topic entirely. “but what does that have to do with rain?” he finally asked. 

you pointed outside. “you wouldn’t really go out in this weather, right? not if you have any emergencies or urgent matters to attend to. and same goes for everyone else; it kind of… kind of forces you to stay inside, to fully enjoy your warm beverage. the sound of rain is pretty calming, it’s some kind of whitenoise that might block out intrusive thoughts, at least it does that for me. so it’s only you, the sound of rain and your cup of tea. for a few minutes, you can just relax and have a moment for yourself.”

sukuna still didn’t quite understand how humans worked. it’s been hundreds of years since he’s ceased to be human, he’s forgotten what is what like being human. what human emotions entailed. but he agreed, it has been a while since he’s felt at ease and peaceful even. it was a moment of bliss, a moment that caused a flare-up of old, buried feelings inside of him.

004.1

you still hadn’t mustered up the courage to actually ask sukuna out after you dragged him into that fake dating-situation. he did still come late at night, being the most loyal customer of the café at this point. it was almost… almost as if he’d seeked out your company. though he did tell you that he didn’t mind your company; your ego deflated a little. sukuna still wore his kimono but paired it with a thick winter coat - it was winter after all and the weather had been very extreme. the ground was covered in inches of snow and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. sukuna insisted on walking you home when your shift ended. you weren’t sure why because he’d never offered to do so before. you were thankful though since it was still snowing and the streets were completely empty; even though the snow looked beautiful, it was still a little eerie to walk home in this weather. especially since a lot of busses weren’t running anymore due blocked roads.

“sukuna, aren’t you cold?” you asked as you switched off the lights and fumbled with your keys. finally finding the right one, you closed up, shoving the keys back in your back and fishing out your gloves. “you don’t even wear gloves!” you gasped when you saw his bare hands, handing him one of yours. sukuna looked at you as if you were crazy.

he wasn’t cold but he couldn’t tell you that, couldn’t let you know that he was a curse. but handing him one of you gloves? you were too nice, always thinking of others first and never being selfish. sighing, he put on the glove that was uncomfortably small but he’d endure it for your sake.

“it’s been a while since we’ve had this much snow,” you mused and took a few steps around, giggling at the sound of crunching snow beneath your feet. sukuna simply followed you, looking comical with the bright yellow and tiny glove on his hand. you smiled at him, admiring how etheral he looked underneath the streetlights with the snowflakes flurrying around him and some getting stuck in his hair. your heart suddenly ached, a far away memory emerging. it was blurry and unclear, a cold night similar as this underneath the stars and a face staring at you. you couldn’t tell who it was nor were you sure whether it was just a case of déjà vu.

“you know, this kind of calls for a snowball fight,” you grinned at sukuna mischievously and grabbed some snow, beginning to form it into a ball. he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking at you defiantly. 

“i’m not going to indulge in childish business like th-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you hurled the snowball at him and giggled like a maniac as it hit his shoulder. you quickly hid behind a bush as you quickly tried to form another, enjoying the dumbfounded look on sukuna’s face. clearly, he didn’t expect you to follow through with your plan and was caught by surprise. “oh you’re on,” he growled after a moment and grabbed himself some snow as well. you quickly threw another snowball at him, this time only being able to hit his leg. eyes widening at the sight of sukuna raising his arm to throw his snowball at you, you let out a squeak and dove behind a tree - the snowball still hit you square on your back, making you yelp at the cold feeling.

for minutes you could only hear the crunches of snow, loud laughter and snowballs hitting objects. you sat on a bench, exhausted from running and ducking away and your belly was starting to hurt from all the laughter. sukuna caught up to you, juggling a snowball in his hands. “you gonna give up?” he asked, a smirk gracing his lips. clearly he was winning, being able to aim a lot better than you. you missed him most of the time but had fun regardless. 

“never!” you replied, holding out your arms to defend yourself from the incoming snowball. it never came and instead sukuna was inching closer with an evil look in his eyes. oh no. what was he up to? you yelped when you realized that he was aiming for your neck, jumping up to get away from him. sukuna was quick to react and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into his chest and holding you close, smushing the snow against your neck. “ew sukuna, stop!” you laughed and squirmed in his arms until he threw the snowball away, rubbing your back gently. 

“that was really cold, you know,” you pouted, burying your face in his chest. 

he wrapped his arms around you, sighing quietly. “i know, i know, sorry.”

you swore that you felt his lips on the crown of your head.

005.

you were, undoubtedly, lost. your phone was about to die and you were stranded in the middle of the city, not sure where to go. to be fair, it was very, very easy to get lost here and it was your first time visiting. your grandparents lived here and while you’ve visited before, you couldn’t quite remember anything anymore. you were a child back then. and the city had drastically changed too, making it difficult for you to navigate yourself around. though your poor sense of direction was probably at fault as well. you sighed, trying to call your grandparents again. no one was picking up. you turned your phone off to save some of the battery, maybe you could call them later.

luckily, you’d brought your cameras so you could at least keep yourself busy until someone freed you from this misery. you walked towards the nearby shrine; there didn’t seem to be any people here, it was very quiet aside from the sound of cicadas. you took a few photos before continuing your journey, soon finding yourself standing on top of the hill. the view from here was breathtaking, even more so because the sun was starting to set, painting the sky in a beautiful yellow and orange hue. you fumbled with your camera again, trying to take a photo when someone suddenly moved into your shot. you paused and looked at the person in front of you who was staring at you as well. considering they were wearing a kimono, you assumed that they must work here. did you make a mistake? maybe you weren’t supposed to take photos and this person came to tell you off.

“i’m sorry!” you said quickly, quickly shoving your camera in your bag. “am i allowed to take photos here?” 

the stranger frowned at you, clearing his voice before replying: “how am i supposed to know? i don’t work here.” 

you groaned, rubbing your face in embarrassment. of course you’d say something wrong, you always did. and now you probably annoyed him too - he looked really annoyed. but since he wasn’t working here and there was no one else around, you guessed you could take photos after all. there was no one to tell you off anyways. however, the stranger was still standing there, looking at you in what seemed like interest. you felt awkward just continuing your endeavors without acknowledging him, so you asked: “do you live here? i’m just visiting, so i’m not very familiar with the city.”

“you could say that,” the stranger simply replied. when he didn’t say anything else, you decided that it probably was okay if you just continued taking photos without acknowledging him. though it did make you queasy, knowing that he was just watching you. didn’t he have anything else to do? a few minutes passed. he sighed and walked over, pointing at your camera. “what are you doing?” you were surprised at how straightforward he was, not expecting to engage in a conversation with you. maybe people in this city were just extra talkative and you’d have to get used to it. your grandparents never told you about this though. 

“ah i’m visiting my grandparents here and i thought i’d document my stay here. so i can look at these photos whenever i want and just have the memories on photo,” you explained and rummaged in your bag to show him the polaroids you took earlier. “i particularly like polaroids because you can’t edit or change them… whatever moment you capture, it’s true to what you saw. there’s no need to make photos beautiful when they hold a special place in your heart and are tied to a specific memory.”

the stranger nodded, pointing to your polaroid camera. “and you take them with this device?” his choice of words startled you a little, he didn’t seem to be familiar with this type of camera which you found odd. everyone knew what these were nowadays, almost everyone owned them. but you didn’t want to judge him or make him feel stupid though, patiently explaining to him how the cameras worked and where he could purchase them. he seemed to be really interested, closely inspecting the camera, turning it around and fumbling with the buttons. only after you finished rambling, you realize how much time had passed - it was almost dark now and your grandparents were probably worried sick. your phone was turned off the entire time and you forgot to call them. 

“excuse me, i really need to call my grandparents!” you looked at him apologetically, leaving him with your photos and camera. normally, you would be very wary; normally, you wouldn’t even show anyone your photos, rather keeping them to yourself because they were your precious memories. but something about him resonated with you, he seemed familiar and yet he didn’t.

you found a spot a few meters away from him calling your grandparents and profusely apologizing to them for not calling sooner. you promised them to wait at a popular and well known spot nearby so they could come to pick you up since it was already getting late, then hung up. to your relief, the stranger was still standing there, watching you intently. “thank you,” you smiled as he handed you your belongings. “my grandparents are picking me up soon, thank you for keeping me company. won’t you be going home soon?” 

suddenly his face expression turned rather… sad? somewhat melancholic and you feared you’d said something wrong until he shook his head. “i have to go somewhere later. let me walk you for a bit, it is dark after all.” you looked at him a little dumbfounded, not expecting him to suggest something like that.

“oh you don’t have to! i’ll totally be fine, i-” “i want to. let’s go,” he interrupted you, already beginning to move. you hastily followed him, clutching your bag in your hands. the entire walk was rather silent, none of you saying a word. it wasn’t a tense and uncomfortable silence though - you very much enjoyed his presence. it made you feel safe too, even though you’d told him earlier that you didn’t mind walking by yourself, it was comforting to know that he was by your side. you were in an unfamiliar city after all. hell you even got lost, so who were you kidding. you wondered who the stranger was, what his story was, what his personality was like. this was a one time meeting though, so you didn’t really have any hope of meeting him again. that was very unlikely.

“okay this is the spot. my grandparents are going to pick me up here, so it’s okay if you go,” you pointed at a café and gave him a reassuring smile. he didn’t look impressed. “o-oh wait, i need to thank you somehow.” you held a finger up to signal him to wait for a bit and fished out a polaroid you’d taken earlier. it was a simple shot, only the temple, bits of the trees and the sunset in the background. but you thought it was appropriate, the two of you had shared this moment after all. 

“here, this is for you. it’s not a lot but i guess… it’s a really nice photo and maybe the start of your collection, if you decide to get a polaroid camera?” he took the photo from you, inspecting it before nodding and thanking you. he looked like he was about to say something else but was interrupted by some bright car lights and the sound of honks.

“ah, i have to go! it was nice meeting you,” you bid farewell to him and waved, running towards the car. sukuna watched your figure retreat, arms dropping to his sides.

006.

it was so cold, so incredibly cold. you really hated disliked these long winters, the sky was constantly dull and grey, the days were short and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. it made you feel sluggish and unmotivated, you were just hoping that spring was coming earlier this year. you yearned for sunshine and warmth, to be able to go outside without freezing and just spend more time outside. regardless, you held onto your daily walks because they gave you some peace of mind in your hectic life. you were approaching the last year of your studies and the amount of exams, assignments and your looming thesis were just suffocating you. but soon, soon you were done and could finally take a breather, until then, the only moments of relaxation you’d have were your walks.

despite the cold, there were a lot of people near the park; children who were engaging in snowball fights, elderly who were walking their dogs and some joggers too. your eyes were wandering around, watching all the busy people around. too absorbed in your task, you didn’t notice the man in front of you until you bumped into him. you quickly removed your earbuds and apologized to him, about to continue walking when he suddenly grabbed your arm, holding you back. you were confused, did you maybe accidently hurt him when you bumped into him? you looked him up and down to make sure that he was okay; there really wasn’t anything wrong. he let go of your arm. “is something wrong?” you asked concerned and turned to him. 

“y/n?” 

you froze at the mention of your name. how did he know you?

“who are you? i’ve never met you before.”

in all your past lifetimes, you’d taught him how to be human again, how there was value and joy in even the littlest of things. with each iteration of your existence, sukuna thinks that he’s learned to love you more than the last. when he sees how at ease you are spending time with him, a curse that is feared by everyone, he contemplates confessing to you. but something holds him back, it’s the fear; the fear that you won’t return his feelings. he’s seen you be with someone else, see you fall in love countless of times. he yearns for it to be him, hoping that you do choose him, love him. for thousands of years, he’s spent his time finding you - your reincarnations don’t recognize him and it pains him to get to know you anew each time but nothing pains him as much as his existence. he wants to hold you, be yours, grow old with you.

for the first time in thousands of years, sukuna wishes to be human again.

ps.: i am so sorry if i hurt your heart there omg