#lonly has an offering

[lonlylittleclown]

Fanart of @nevarroes beautiful boys please consider this an offering for getting me through so many crappy times with these lovely men!(and I am so sorry my markers would not cooperate on gort so it’s got faint streaks )

[starlooove]

The way "you are kenough" still praises men for the bare minimum

[gallusrostromegalus]

For the OC ask I'd like to ask: betrayal or midnight (whichever you want, or both if you have the time/ energy)

Midnight: What keeps them up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

--- It well past Midnight.

It was hard to tell in Las Noches, because the natural sun outside was just as dark as the sky, and the artificial sun Aizen installed under the dome never set. But the air was cooler, and marginally more humid.

Coyote Starrk was up, roaming the halls- he slept all day so Lilynette has the energy to play with their new friends. She liked to follow the older girls around, especially Ulquiorra's underlings, Cici and Vivi, and sometimes Charlotte, if the woman offered to play makeup with her.

Besides, it felt... normal to him, to roam at night. When things cooled off and quieted down and the other nocturnes came out to play. Hallibel, for one- Coyote wasn't actually sure when she slept, or if she did. The closest he'd ever seen is her folded in a corner somewhere, breathing deeply but as soon as he approached, she would open one eye and at least grunt her half of a conversation. Ulquiorra was usually out on the roof somewhere and he made for decent if somewhat gloomy stargazing company. Grimmjow was often stalking the lower levels, Aaroniero/Arruruerie emerged from their shadowy sanctuary to scuttle about the kitchen, and Szaylel kept not so much irregular as outright chaotic hours.

He was in the outer halls that go around the dome, artificial sunlight streaming in one side, silvery moonlight in the other, and all the noises of the night echoing between them. It wasn't actually being sociable, per se, but it soothed the lonliness to hear everyone about or not.

"AAAAOOUGH!!"

Mostly.

Coyote sighed, rolling his eyes and sped up to meet the howling.

"HAAAUGH! AAAAUG!" Wonderweiss cried, scrabbling awkwardly up a set of stairs and bouncing off the walls as he sprinted for Coyote, eyes wide and terrified.

"Hey, hey, calm d-OOF!" Coyote tried to soothe as the small hollow slammed into his middle, bawling. "OW! Dammit Kid! What's the big idea, howling like it's the full moon out- Oh. Fuck."

Weiss was sobbing, paler than usual, and going a bit funny at the edges. It happened sometimes when he was particularly upset- a third eye sprouting in the middle of his forehead, too many fingers on his hands, and two extra mouths splitting open on the sides of his throat- the ears had gone long and floppy again too.

"Okay, okay, take it easy-" Coyote kept his voice low, hands on the boy's shoulders, trying to calm him down. "-What's wrong, eh?"

"HOUSA! HOUSA ICK!" Weiss yelped, scrambling to his feet and trying to pull Coyote after him.

"Yeah, I don't know what Housa is- Alright, show me." Coyote sighed, getting up and allowing himself to be pulled along. Inarticulate as the boy was, he wasn't stupid, or prone to hysteria. The last time he'd had a howling fit like this, one of Szaylel's creations had gotten loose in the Menos Pits and grown to a nearly unmanageable scale in under and hour.

Weiss dragged him down the stairs and along one of the other external hallways, then deeper into the city, past the hall where Aizen held his interminable meetings-

"HOUSA! HOUSA!" Weiss called as they skidded down a little dogleg hall where one of the Shinigami lords was housed-

"Weiss!" Coyote hissed. "You're going to wake Tousen!"

"YAH! HOUSA!!" Weiss nodded, yanking open the door to the Shinigami's room and running in.

"Shit! I- I'm sorry sir, Weiss was worried about- Oh. Oh, fuck." Coyote realized with horror.

Tousen's room was a small, spare place- little more than a narrow bed, wash basin and desk before the heavily-barred windows. Coyote had never seen the inside of it before, but the pale strips of moonlight through the bars made Coyote realize Tousen wasn't here by choice.

The man himself was sitting on the floor, back against the wall next to the washbasin, the scent of vomit still fresh in the room. He looked awful; gaunt, and the wrong color- almost a dull gray rather than the warm brown when Coyote had first met him. His eyes were closed tightly, he was panting heavily, gripping his abdomen, and not responding to Weiss's calls and shaking his arm.

"Shit." Coyote hissed, kneeling beside the Shinigami- he was sweating and very hot to the touch, but moaned faintly. "Weiss- Weiss! Listen, I need you to find- fuck, um- Find me Paramia or Rudborne, okay? One of them might know what to do."

Weiss whimpered, looking between Coyote and Tousen.

"Go! I'll take care of him, okay?" Coyote urged, and with a final worried look at the shinigami, Weiss sprinted off.

"...Because I definitely know how to do that." Coyote sighed, looking down at the man. "Uh, um. Pulse? He should have one of those, right? Hey, um, Lord Tousen? I'm just gonna. Grab your throat. Yeah that's totally nonthreatening..." He muttered, looking around the room and finding his Zanpakuto on the bed.

Instead of biting him like Coyote would have done if someone had started poking his throat while he was barely conscious, Tousen instead rolled his head weakly in Coyote's direction, pale eyes cracked open.

"...Sssjn?" Tousen mumbled.

"What?" Coyote blinked. "Um, oh, there's your pulse... Yeah, I- I don't think it's supposed to be doing that." Coyote winced, the human's pulse not so much beating as rapidly vibrating under his fingers.

"...Sajin?" He asked again, reaching up for Coyote's face with a shaking hand. "Sajin? Is that you?"

"Who?" Coyote blinked. "Tousen? Can you hear me? What's wrong with you? Something you ate?"

"Sajin, I- I'm so sorry...." He wheezed, voice weak, hand dropping away before he could reach Coyote's face. "I- I need to get you up. Find a doctor- Do we have a doctor? Paramia knows how to do a good stitch-up, but... Fuck. Alright, come on, on your feet-" Coyote grunted, pulling Tousen's arm over his shoulder.

"AUGH!" Tousen shrieked with pain as he was pulled up. "Please! Please, don't- just let me be..."

"No way, you're the only guy here with half a brain and I'd really like to live through this whole war with the shinigami thing so I'm really countin' on you to pull through-" Coyote explained, getting one arm under Tousen's shoulders and pulling him away from the wall-

-there was an unpleasantly wet peeling sound as he stood.

Coyote looked over the shoulder of the man slumped against him to see a bright stripe of blood running down the man's spine and against the wall he'd been propped against.

"I'm so, so sorry..." Tousen whimpered. "I never- I never meant to hurt you..."

"Hurt ME? What the hell, you couldn't hurt a mouse like this, nevermind me!" Coyote yelped, scooping the small man into his arms and then nearly dropping him as he over-corrected. Tousen was much lighter than he should be.

LILYNETTE!! Coyote howled over their bond. WAKE THE FUCK UP!ITS AN EMERGENCY!

WHAT?! She snarled back as Coyote sprinted out of the little cell of a room, looking for someone, anyone-

Tousen's on death's door, we need to find a- a doctor, someone! He panted, searching the halls.

Do we even HAVE a doctor? Lilynette wondered back.

That's what I wanted to know! He grumbled, sprinting up the stairs toward the meeting room.

WHY WOULD I KNOW? WE SHARE A BRAIN, MORON!! she cried back. Fuck, Uh- Not Szaylel- I dunno, Charlotte? She knows a lot about skincare and diets?

Yeah, we're a bit past skincare- look, I told Weiss to go find Paramia, go help him? Coyote skidded into the meeting room to find the light on down the hall in the throne room. He turned the corner to find a tall figure walking towards there as well.

"Ulquiorra's back with the girl Lord Aizen wanted." Hallibel muttered through her mask and high collar. "...Humans aren't supposed to be gray, right?" She frowned down at Tousen.

"No they're not!" Coyote grinned up at her. "Please tell me I've slept through a staff meeting and that we've got an actual doctor, not just a mad scientist and a stitch witch?"

"Oh? What seems to be the matter with- oh. That's. Bad." Szaylelapporo oozed over, then grimaced at the man. "Well, get him on the table, I'll see what I can do-"

"Not you! A REAL Doctor!" Coyote spat, jerking away from him.

"EXCUSE ME?" The mad scientist squawked, aghast.

"Welcome, Miss Inoue-" Aizen's voice rippled down the hall from the throne room. Tousen whimpered, curling into Coyote's chest, shaking. Fuck, if Aizen locked him in that cell of a room, he could have poisoned him too-

"-to my kingdom of- What the hell are you wearing?" Aizen sputtered.

"Yes!" an unfamiliar voice replied.

"Oh, come on, how often do we get a chance to dissect- I mean- surgically assist a Shinigami?" Szaylel pouted, reaching for the shivering man.

---

"Mr. Cifer didn't give me a lot of details about the conditions here, so I tried to prepare for every eventuality I could!" Chirped the small mountain of clothes and camping gear that apparently contained Orihime Inoue.

"I- well. If one cannot be forewarned, one should be forearmed, I suppose..." Aizen muttered, thrown completely off script. "But as I was saying, please allow me to extend the full hospitality of Las-"

There was a brief flicker of bright light and sharp withdrawal of reiatsu in the hall behind him.

"That better not be a cero-" Aizen frowned.

BLAM!

"My dick!" Wailed Szaylel from some distance away, having been blown through several walls as well as castrated.

"Quitcher bitchin', it'll grow back!" Snarled Coyote.

Aizen closed his eyes, rubbing his temples with his middle and ring fingers, struggling to maintain some composure. "What are you doing Mr. Starrk?" He snarled, turning on his heel to confront the First Espada and instead walking face-first into the spectacular underboob cleavage of the Third.

"Are you the Kurosaki kid's medic?" Hallibel called, unperturbed by the fact she was lightly smothering her commander.

"Uhh... I mean I'm trained in first aid and I'm pretty good at healing?" Miss Inoue muttered as Aizen extracted himself from Hallibel's bosom.

"What the hell is going on?" Aizen hissed up at her.

"Great! Lord Tousen's dying." Hallibel explained to Miss Inoue, before looking down at Aizen. "Also, Lord Tousen's dying." She said pointing down the smoking hall where Starrk was emerging with a weak and pallid Tousen in his arms.

"Oh, come on Kaname, pull yourself togeth- oh." Aizen recoiled at the sight of his compatriot, and the way his spine had bled all down the front of Starrk's uniform. "Miss Inoue? Your skills are requi-" He spoke up only for the girl to brush past him without so much as a sideways glance, shed of her excess garmentry.

"Mr. Tousen?" She asked, eyes wide and already on the verge of tears. "Can you hear me?"

"I-Inoue?" he groaned, turning his ear towards her. "Where? Where's Sajin..?"

"He's fine, but you're not. Can you tell me what's wrong?" She said, taking his wrist and touching his face.

"S-stomachache. Started... I- I don't know. Can't sleep." he mumbled, head dropping back onto Coyote's chest.

"He- he also threw up, his whole back is bleedin' and he keeps apologizing to this Sajin guy?" Coyote added.

"When was the last time you ate or drank anything?" She said, pinching the skin on the back of his hand and grimacing.

"I- I don't know. Not for a while. Not... not worth it." he muttered, listless.

"Is the stomachache concentrated anywhere? and is it more like nausea or pain?" She asked.

"P-pain. Very painful." He hissed. "It's- lower right side."

Miss Inoue inhaled slowly, jaw set. "Is it better or worse if you put pressure on it?"

"Hurts- hurts if I take pressure off it?" He whimpered. "I- I can't- Where's Sajin? He, he was just here-"

"Well, Miss Inoue?" Aizen asked, strolling up and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Care to prove your worth?"

The girl was completely still and silent for a moment. Fear? Or some sort of delayed reaction? Aizen watched her for a moment, the girl's face expressionless.

"I need a sterile room, surgical equipment- scalpels, sponges, gloves sutures, the works- and the means to sanitize it, and at least two people to hold him still." she said, voice flat.

"Surgical equipment?" Aizen scoffed. "You misunderstand- I want to see what the Shun Shun Rikka is capable of."

"It's capable of restoring a hell of a lot when it comes to traumatic injury and blood loss but it doesn't work on infections or organ failure, so if you want Mr. Tousen to live through the night, you'll have to settle for my capacity as Surgeon." She said, voice quiet and clipped. "Sterile room, Surgical equipment, sanitary gear, assistants, please, before his condition gets worse."

"...What condition?" Aizen puzzled, and she sighed with exasperation.

"You! White hair and horn! Find me a room that is or can be rendered sterile!" She barked, pointing over Coyote's shoulder.

"What? Who died and made you queen?" Lilynette yelped.

"DO IT!" Coyote barked.

"Fuck! Okay!" She flinched. "There's- uh, Paramia's office. She's got most of the stuff you were yelling about. I think."

"Good. Mr. Starrk, right? Do you know where that is?" She said, gray eyes snapping up to the Primera Espada's own, and he actually startled a bit.

"Uh- yes, and yes?" he muttered, arching his neck away from her.

"Take Mr. Tousen there ASAP, get him on a bed and if there's any means of restraining him, I need him lying on his left side, everything on his right side from his hip-bone to the middle of his ribcage exposed. Understand?" She said, gesturing to Tousen's side.

"Uh, yeah, Yes, I'll go-" Stark muttered, backing up a few steps and vanishing in a burst of Sondido.

"Maybe I didn't make myself cle-" Aizen started with Orihime spun out of his grip and turned to face the rest of the throne room.

"Mr. Cifer! I presume you know where the kitchens are! I need drinkable water, any electrolyte beverages you have or failing that, anything with a decent amount of salt in it, and anything with caffeine."

"I don't take orders from you." he growled.

Miss Inoue stopped from where she'd been turning to Hallibel and glared back at Ulqiorra. "You said that if I followed you through that portal, I'd be joining Aizen's cause, body and soul."

"What?" Aizen mouthed at Ulquiorra behind her.

"Yes? And?" Ulquiorra agreed, glaring back.

"Mr. Aizen, may I then act in an emergency capacity under your authority for the purposes of keeping a member of this organization alive?" She asked, rounding on him.

What had been sad, soft gray eyes in Ulquiorra's recollection of events had darkened into the color of an oncoming stormed and sharpened around the edges in a way that reminded Aizen uncomfortably of how Unohana's disapproval could feel like a knife at his throat.

"...You have hidden depths, Miss Inoue." he smirked, pretending to be at ease if he couldn't pretend to be in control. "-And since you're being such a good team player, I will happily grant you temporary authority to see to Kaname's welfare."

"Thank you sir." She bowed her head. "Cifer! Kitchen!"

Ulquiorra sputtered for a moment and then skulked off.

"...This good favor of mine is entirely dependent on Kaname's survival and recovery, of course." He said, leaning down into her personal space, lips almost at her ear.

"Of course, Mr. Aizen. I would consider failure to save Mr. Tousen just cause for suicide as it is." she said, and then failed to elaborate as she turned to Hallibel. "Ma'am with the blonde hair! What's your name?"

"...Hallibel." She said, slowly cocking her head at the girl

"Thank you Miss Hallibel." Inoue bowed. "Do you have a good grip, and can you stand the sight of blood?"

"...Yes?" Hallibel puzzled.

"Please escort me to Mr. Starrk, I'll need your help." Inoue asked, pointing down the smoking hallway.

"Miss Inoue, what cond-" Aizen started to ask again, but the girl was gone in a blur as Hallibel promptly carried out her orders and followed Starrk's sondido with her own. "-ition are you talking about?"

"Fever? Vomiting? Severe pain in lower right abdomen? C'mon boss, even you know what's up!" Laughed Gin.

---

"So... have you ever done a surgery before?" Hallibel asked when they stopped at the door in front of Paramia's room.

"Ugh-" Orihime staggered for a moment, disoriented. "What? Oh, no- I've seen this one done before. Well, a video of it." She winced.

"Oh." Hallibel muttered. "Well. I've never seen a video of anything, so I guess you're qualified." She shrugged, opening the door.

"Miss Inoue?" a soft voice asked inside. "I'm Roka Paramia, I act as Medic here." She was a small, almost human-looking hollow with half her face covered by a humanlike skull, almost like the phantom of the opera. She also wore a green, cable-knit sweater, which was strange because it had to be at least eighty degrees in here.

"Oh thank god!" Sighed Orihime. "Have you ever done surgery before?"

"No!" Smiled Paramia. "I look forward to learning the process."

"Cool, I'm promoting you to Assistant Surgeon. Can you get the relevant tools out and sanitized?" Orihime nodded.

"I have already done so, as well as secured Lord Tousen to the operating table!" Paramia smiled, gesturing inside to where the shinigami had been strapped down to the stainless steel table. A small, childlike hollow curled up and whimpering beside him. Behind them, Starrk and Lilynette were standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do. There was a quiet sob from the table, and Orihime stepped into the room.

"Hey- I met you down at the river yesterday! Weiss, right?" Orihime asked, touching the boy's shoulder. He looked up at her, large purple eyes blinking slowly in recognition.

"Ohhimay?" he tried.

"That's right! I'm Orihime!" She smiled, patting his head.

"Augh!" Weiss sobbed, grabbing her shoulder and pointing to Tousen.

"OW! Easy, I'm not very strong- Thanks." She winced and Weiss relaxed his grip. "It'll be okay, I promise. I'm going to make Mr. Tousen better, but it's going to really, really suck for a bit but then he'll be all better, I promise!" She soothed, brushing a thick lock of blonde hair away from his face.

Weiss mumbled, looking between her and tousen for a moment.

"It's okay Weiss. I'll be alright." Tousen spoke up, voice little more than whimper. "Can you go guard the hall for me?"

"...kay." Weiss mumbled, shuffling off the table and out the door, crouching beside it, still peering back into the room.

"Thank you. And I'm really sorry for what's about to happen." Orihime bowed, hands holding Tousen's. He grimaced, but nodded and squeezed her hand in acknowledgement.

Orihime looked back at Paramia."What do you have by way of painkillers?"

"Oh, we don't believe in those here!" Paramia smiled.

Orihime blinked at her a few times, and decided to think laterally. "...What do you have in terms of alcoholic beverages or other recreational drugs here?"

"Oh! There's Tequila in the commissary!" Paramia nodded with excitement.

"Nnoitra's got Ketamine." Said Hallibel.

"He has WHAT?" Yelped Starrk.

"Ketamine. Yylfordt snitches it out of Szaylel's lab and they get high on the roof when Aizen's away." Hallibel shrugged.

"Ketamine would be very helpful, actually!" Orihime chirped, slightly manic. "Alright, Miss Lilynette? Go help Ulquiorra in the kitchen-"

"UUUUUGH." Groaned Lilynette.

"I know, he's a jerk." Orihime waved. "But he's also stupid, and probably forgot what I sent him for already."

Lilynette snorted with laughter and Orihime smirked. "I'll write you a list, make sure he comes back with everything, okay?"

"Yeah, I can babysit batboy." Lilynette giggled.

"Miss Hallibel? Do you think you can persuade... I'm sorry, I didn't catch their names-" Orihime waved.

"Yeah I can shake down Nnoitra for his stash." Hallibel nodded.

"Great! You both go do that and come back ASAP while we scrub up?" Orihime asked, giving them each a thumbs up, and the responded in kind before vanishing out the door.

"I must say, I'm very impressed with your capability for organization and command!" Paramia beamed as the two medics washed up and Coyote tried to figure out the best way to keep Tousen pinned to the table. "There was some discussion between Lord Aizen and Lord Ichimaru of abducting someone from soul society to fill in the role of chief medic, but I think you're the superior option so far."

"...Who were they going to take from Soul Society?" Orihime frowned.

"Oh... I can't remember her name. Lady Usagi or something?"

"LADY UNOHANA??" Orihime shouted.

"Yes! Lord Ichimaru suggested that abducting Lady Unohana would be more tactically sound, but Aizen dismissed the idea rather quickly- I'm sorry, have I said something humorous?" Paramia asked as Orihime crumpled to the floor laughing, and there was an amused wheeze from Tousen.

"We'd all be better off if Aizen had attempted to abduct Lady Unohana." Tousen laughed darkly.

"Yeah!" Orihime didn't so much grin as bare her teeth at the absurdity of her circumstances. "She would have reduced them both to bright red streaks on the wall and I wouldn't be here doing an unanesthetized appendectomy at one in the goddamn morning!"

[theanticool]

Libraries and Adult Lonliness

As we all know, making friends as adults is hard. And while the internet has made it easier to make friends with people around the world, actually meeting people you can meet with on a regular basis and just hang out with us tough. The common answer to meeting new people is to find people who are interested in the same stuff as you. As such, finding places to meet new people who may have similar interests to you is important. And that’s why I think the library is a great resource!

As a children’s librarian, one of the things I try to point out to parents when they come in to sign their kids up for the library is that we offer adult programs too. Obviously we have book clubs - my library has 4 different book clubs for people who read different types of books. I’ve posted about it before with knitting/crochet circles. But for people who have or want to explore different interests, and meet new people via that new interest, you may want to check your local library to see their programming. For example:

Hiking: Many libraries offer things like hiking kits. These can be things such as maps for local trails, hiking sticks, a water resistant backpack, binoculars, bird guides, and the like. But some libraries having hiking clubs, such as the Poughkeepsie Public Library Distruct in NY.

Language Learning: Many libraries have access to language learning platforms such as Rosetta Stone or Mango Languages. But many other have dedicated classes where adults can come and learn languages. If you’re in L.A. county, the public library offers classes in beginner Russian, Chinese, Korean, Italian, Armenian, etc!

Music: there are many libraries that have maker spaces where you can go and record music. There’s one in the Newark Library and at a branch of the Brooklyn library. There are also ones that allow you to check out instruments. But there are also ones where you can receive free music lessons, such as the Dallas Public Library (this program was online during the pandemic but is now also offered in person!)

I could keep going.

Singing, dancing, theater, yoga, sketch comedy, creative writing, RC Cars, foraging, cemetery tour groups, jewelry making, baking, woodworking, painting, etc. If you have a niche interest or would like to get into a niche interest, there is a chance your library has had or will have a program about it. And if you’re looking to meet new people, it is a great place to start.

[mcytlin]

rotating the finalists around in my head.

Scott and Pearl. past Victors. one winning in a life of friendship and loyalty between them, one winning in a life of solitude and betrayal between them.

They both help one of the two other finalists. Scott helps Gem, who he's been loyal to for the entire season. Pearl helps Scar, who has been alone for the entire season.

Scott has sacrificed himself for Pearl once, making her win. Scott sacrifices himself for Gem, hoping it will be enough for her to win.

Scar offered to sacrifice himself for Grian once, to let him win, but Grian refused. Pearl offers to sacrifice herself for Scar, to help him win, but he refuses. (The offered sacrificé dies in the end, to a bloodied fist, to a swift arrow.)

and now Pearl and Scar are both Victors, born out of lonliness and isolation.

once upon a time, Scar showed Pearl kinship in a bucket of powdered snow to hurt their soulmates with. now, Pearl helps him to victory. out of gratitude? a debt finally paid? or out of understanding, having been in the other's shoes before?

(pearl had been in lizzie's shoes, as well. and lizzie has been in pearl's shoes once, literally. hasn't lizzie been the closest thing to an ally scar has had, before a scroll drove a wedge between them? the first to fall and the last one standing, lonely and sad and covered in the flowers of their home.)

[rogueddie]

Half Life / I Want Your Video

The world doesn't end. Somehow, they win. Somehow, they all make it out the other side- not unharmed, not by any stretch of the imagination, but they're alive. They're going to heal, recover...

It's Nancy who suggests they have a big celebration. And, with the town almost completely, they have free reign of The Hideout.

Joyce somehow talks Hopper out of supervising, convinsing him that Mrs Henderson will be fine on her own.

She is- but not for the reason Joyce might have told Hopper.

"Steve!" Robin screams over the music, stumbling into him. "Shut up talking to Eddie! It's our song!"

"Nooo!" Steve whines, despite stumbling after her. "It was going so well! He was blushing!"

"I don't care! Dance with me!"

Steve tries to give Eddie an apologetic wave, whooping at him instead when he notices that he's blushing ever more.

They're both drunk enough that they don't realize that they're the only ones actually using the space they'd cleared, acting as a makeshift dancefloor.

Not that it would bother them if they'd noticed; it simply means that, in their attempts to hear each other over the music and 'crowd', they're shouting loud enough for anyone and everyone to hear what they're saying.

Most people can't understand them through their slurring.

Steve isn't sure when Robin took her shoes off, only knows that at some point they end up in his hands.

"Bobbie!" He eventually yells, struggling to grab onto her shoulder as she bounces around. "Gotta break! Taking a break!"

"No! Eve, this is our song!"

"I don't know this song!"

"It's ours!"

"I'm- smoke!"

She pretends to gag, but doesn't try to stop him when he tries to head outside this time.

He doesn't realize that he's been followed, until the door squeaks open almost as soon as it clicks shut behind him.

"You doin' alright?" Eddie asks. He grabs the lighter out his hand, lighting his cig for him.

"Thanks. Jus'a headache, no worries."

"I can take you home if it's getting too bad," Eddie offers.

Steve stumbles with how hard he shakes his head, so much that Eddie has to dart forward to hold him steady.

"Can't go!" Steve complains. "Bobbie wants to stay till the end of the night!"

"I'm sure she can survive one night without you. If your head is hurting you-"

"Noooo," Steve tries to slap Eddies hands off him, flailing slightly. It only makes Eddie smile, like his sloppiness is something endearing.

Damn sober drivers, Steve thinks.

Eddie heaves a great sigh, throwing his head back dramatically. "Alright! But if I even think you have a migraine, I'm dragging you out of here."

"Promise?" He tries fluttering his eyelashes. It looks more like he's struggling to squint.

"What are you doing? Stop that."

"No," Steve teases, patting his cheek. It only makes the blush more obvious.

He darts back inside, laughing with how giddy he feels. He's been struggling to make progress with Eddie for weeks- who knew some alcohol-enduced confidence is all he needed?

"There you are!" Robin shouts, skipping over to him. She thrusts her small bag inte the hand not holding her shoes. "Why were you do long? I almost died! Of lonliness!"

"As if! You can never die! I got your back!"

She whoops- in response, or to the song, Steve isn't sure.

[catcake24]

I have SO MANY feelings about the Chaos Terrans

Okay so… one thing I noticed, which is supposed to be a minor thing, is that both Aftermath and Spitfire came into existence during a fight. I can’t help but think though… yeah they’re corrupted by chaos power, but maybe the reason they literally are BORN fighting is because of how they were made? I mean…

Imagine being aftermath, you’re seconds old… and a van is crashing into you. Maybe he’s scared or angry, and he scans it, before going on a rampage. Next thing he knows, a guy is saying they’re on the same side and offers more destruction, so he goes along with Breakdown. Spitfire is born and is seconds old when she is falling, and her first memory is someone strange that she doesn’t know grabbing unto her and saying she needs to scan an alt mode to survive. No time to think or reconsider, just boom, gotta survive. What if that affected how they woke up… like obviously they’re violent seemingly by nature, but maybe they’re so aggressive because their first memories of existence were so perilous. We don’t even know if they LIKE their alt modes much, which might even mean they hate everything including their bodies and lash out as a result as well.

The Terrans we know woke up relatively safe in a cave, feeling the bond and love of their siblings, and even the triplets with the cave in had family they could trust in very quickly. They had time to pick their alt modes, settle into the world and their family support, find their own purposes.

Speaking of the bond, I wonder if the Chaos Terrans are unstable because they don’t have that emotional bond the Malto Terrans have. They immediately know what love, kindness, and friendship feel like, while the Chaos Terrans didn’t feel that. Not just that, but Aftermath says something interesting: “Lonliness. I would like to be lonely.”

I know he’s annoyed with Jawbreaker, but does he mean he’s always lonely when not around others? Does he feel alone, being the only one of his kind? He IMMEDIATELY seeks out Spitfire as soon as he can, seemingly knowing she was created beforehand just by sensing her, and is super excited to find her too. He even says they share a connection, not too surprised she knows his name.

In Witwicky I and II, they are seemingly always together now - we literally almost never see them apart. They get along really well too, and even seem to care for eachother since Spitfire gives Aftermath the water to recharge and offers to charge the staff next (though jokingly). I think Aftermath even calls Spitfire “sis”. So, and I’m just spitballing here, they do share that sibling bond but it’s corrupted by the chaos power? Or maybe they’re craving that emotional bond since they were SUPPOSED to have it but don’t.

So here’s a fanfic idea: What if they’re resurrected by Quintus power at some point, but still don’t share that emotional bond with the Maltos - they share it with EACHOTHER. They suddenly feel whole, like they woke up not able to understand why they were so angry and lashed out, but now not just feel stable from this Emberstone power but feel complete with their sibling bond.

I can’t imagine either the Maltos or the Chaos Terrans would want to join their family anyways, so what do they do then? If I were to make a fanfic, I’d probably have them run off and do their own thing until they’re adopted by Soundwave who has experience with rowdy youngsters. Who knows, maybe even the remaining Decepticons can come to accept these Terrans. Spitfire would get a new alt mode, and Aftermath would be supportive and maybe find something of his own.

Idk… just my insane ramblings and ideas for these goobers.

[menelaiad]

What do you think of the Antilochus-Menelaus friendship ? I so wish she was explored more, middle aged and his widdle bby friend 🥺

was it not me that didn't shut up about this dynamic like ..... almost 2 years ago??? i think it was.

no, but for real. when you read the iliad this dynamic can certainly fly under your radar. menelaus as a whole can get fucking lost in that book lmfao. but if you read it with hyper-menelaus-vision like i do everything in my life - it's shocking how prevelant that dynamic actually is.

menelaus doesn't interact with a lot of people in the iliad. there's aga, ajax, achilles (well, achilles calls him a dogface and menelaus doesnt really respond but yknow). now, him talking to aga makes sense. ajax is addressed when menelaus needs help on the battlefield (to save odysseus and to defend patroclus) he's the muscle menelaus needs in those moments.

but he talks to and works/fights with antilochus. the most. (outside of aga but their dynamic is ofc gonna be different) antilochus isn't. a big deal. really. he's not one of the leaders. one of the OG big guys. but he's with menelaus in maybe like 30 - 50% of his scenes in the iliad? and for a guy that doesn't appear in the iliad a lot to begin with. that's a lot.

with a oral poem like the iliad there will be a lot of repetition for events, even if the characters change. but i'm sure there's an event that's repeated twice - menelaus calling for ajax's help and then summoning antilochus. again. the ajax thing is explainable - he's a main player. he's also beefy as shit. he can help menelaus YET menelaus summons antilochus as well. why him? using ajax twice for defence makes sense. but summoning antilochus both times (instead of changing to another sidecharacter greek) is purposeful. he CHOOSES him. menelaus clearly forms this attachment to antilochus after book 5 when the lad comes to his rescue.

it's also sweet how in the book 5 moment, there is a mirror between hera's concern for menelaus and antilochus'. hera having this maternal angle to her as well implies that this concern is FIERCE. it's protective. and antilochus feels the same.

i also think it's sweet that antilochus is like menelaus' lil right hand man UNTIL patroclus dies. and then menelaus almost. gives antilochus back to achilles. antilochus and menelaus fight side by side until patroclus dies and then antilochus becomes achilles' right hand man. like. menelaus gives him back. knows how good of a companion this boy is. sees achilles' grief and like .... offers antilochus as a balm to help. patroclus' death is menelaus' fault. and menelaus certainly sees it that way. and to help achilles combat this newfound lonliness he offers up .... his only friend in the whole iliad.

LIKE in the funeral games. menelaus is mad that antilochus has broken his trust and their friendship. it was never really about the prize for menelaus (he fucking gives it to antilochus anyway???? like????) he's so upset because antilochus 'played dirty' and breached his trust. THAT'S why menelaus kicks off. and yet he doesn't stay mad for long. he almost cant??? he and antilochus have been through a lot in the short span of time that the iliad takes place. and i've said it before. menelaus is not a proud man, compared to most in greek myth. he will back down. he will admit defeat. and he does it here too. ofc he does?? this is his friend!!! but not before he gets emotional and upset about being betrayed because menelaus just FEELS so much. he is such an emotional and attached character.

EVEN IF IT'S NOT THAT menelaus' anger could be from CONCERN. antilochus has stayed alive for so long and boy is now gonna die cause he cant drive?! menelaus WILL NOT have that. it could be panic or fear. either way. i dont think his outburst comes from a place of malice or 'sore loser' at all.

and like do you gotta make me say it???? antilochus forces menelaus to face his guilt. he LITERALLY SAYS:

NO OTHER ACHAEAN COULD HAVE BROUGHT ME ROUND SO SOON. YOU HAVE SUFFERED MUCH AND LABORED LONG ... ALL FOR MY SAKE.

menelaus yields, yes because antilochus is his friend but antilochus is also SO FREAKIN YOUNG. he's probably spent half of his life (or damn close to it) at troy. for menelaus. and menelaus is not blind to that. antilochus embodies all the young men that came to troy for him that have died for him or at the very least have fought and suffered. menelaus' love and care for antilochus is almost symbolic of his love and care for all these lads who came to troy. antilochus represents the army that menelaus carries on his back and cares about so much. and i think the paternal angle to their relationship almost highlights that. menelaus is compared to a mother directly and his relationship with antilochus emphasises this. and that's why their dynamic so so sweet and important to me. their story begins with antilochus coming to his aid and ends with menelaus thanking him for all he's done. menelaus is not blind to the help of this boy or to the army as a whole.

to conclude:

[angelpuns]

meh, its ok he honestly feels like a cousin, im not planning on telling my family that because yikes....

jd does have older sibling syndrome just like raph, they might bond. over what i dunno. lol that would be a weird cross over. pfft, poppy trying to cheer up all the tutlres after the krang invasion offering them all hugs. raph would freeze since shes so tiny compared to him

this might help, though cricket does live alone in thw woods, cause the timeline is a little confusing. the bergens find the pop trolls and puts them in the troll tree. then the brozone break up happens, but they also dont make any known references to having been in the troll tree with the burgens. thats whats confusing about it. from there its kinda easy, grandma rosiepuff gets eaten, when i think branch is 7 (thats how old he looks but troll age is weird). acually now that i got this far no. no the timline is so fucked. because they used 20 years for both the brozone break up and the trolls escaping the bergens.

welp... scrap that. cricket can make friends with the creatures that live in the woods, if youve seen the cartoons theres tons of animal type creatures. like puffilo, theyre basicly sheep. bugs definitely should make animal comparisons. definitely gives off the vides of like gardening and has shelfs filled with herbs and plants. has like scrapbooks with how to make potions, not for bad things. and this kinda stuff is how he keeps his cool and feel less alone.

-🤖

SOBBBSSSS IM IMAGINIGN THEM DISCUSSING IT RN OKAY WAAA

Sorry for the late response btw, i've just been busy ;-;

Oh he ABSOLUTELY tries to make friends with anything and eveything. I think since he didn't turn grey it was more of the genre change that was the visualization of like- lonliness and stuff, since bug's no longer a pop troll :D

Also Cricket does eventually go back, sort of like the brozone situation, but I'm not sure how it will play out :/ everybody probably thought it was dead tbh since no one heard anything from Cricket since he left ://// exept maybe Floyd LMAO

I imagine he'd try and visit at least once cause them being friends is imposrtant to me LMAO

also you're right the timeline is so fucked up but I'm not even mad cause this movie has been the best one so far i don't even care that it completely screwed the timeline over LMAO

Sorry I'm rambling btw I'm real tiered I just wanted to answer this cause I had mor troll stuff to post

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Her Only Companion

Azula Week Day 1: Lonliness

Summary: Until finding Ningka and thea other Kumurikage, Azula had only one unkind companion.

It is strange how old companions become distant. How she had spent days and days hand in hand with her only friend. Azula had grown to know her companion so well. Eventually she couldn’t imagine them being without one another. 

It is strange how one instance can put a wedge in something so familiar. 

How time whittles it away.

The wedge in her longest standing relationship has a name. A name and a face and a peculiar and peculiarly agitating personality. 

Her name is Ningka.

She wears her hair half shaved and half swept over her dark eye. The frown seems fixed on her face and she lays her eyeliner on thickly. 

She is bold and upfront and seems to be adverse to the phrases ‘no thanks’ and ‘get lost.’ 

Azula had been sitting with her longtime companion then. She had only been trying to enjoy her drab excuse for a lunch. She had found that her appetite has been hard to come by these days between the stress of her new lodgings and all of the clutter in her mind. Of course the bland, tasteless lack-of-quality of the food itself did nothing to persuade her to give it a try.

Most days she was hungry.

Most days she didn’t care. 

She really couldn’t be bothered. 

She had been staring into a bowl of what might have been egg noodles–just one step below completely dry and hard–and carelessly chopped vegetables. No seasoning. Ningka very nosily clattered her eating utensils onto the table. 

Azula had jerked. 

Ningka laughed. No apology. Just a loud burst of laughter.

The kind that made Azula uneasy.

Everything made Azula uneasy in those days. 

She gets snappy and standoffish when she is afraid and uncomfortable. And in those days dread and suspicion had become her baseline. 

She was not a likable person and it was just as well. It was better if people left she and her usual companion alone. 

Not Ningka though. 

No, Ningka paid Azula’s closest friend no regard at all. “I don’t get you!”  She remarked bluntly to the princess. 

“I don’t want anyone to.” Azula replies just as plainly. The conversation should have ended there. If not there, then at her addition, “let alone you.”

She had learned then that Ningka had a dark, self-deprecating sense of humor. “Yeah, that’s what most people here say. Imagine being a freak amid freaks.” She picked at her teeth. “It’s kinda fun sometimes. I like doing this thing where I just stand behind people all quite like and wait for them to notice! Priceless!” She paused. “It works really well on Zirin. One time she threw her fork…”

And she had continued on and on, stealing away what remained of Azula’s sense of peace bit by bit. 

Ningka sits next to her now. She and Azula are the last two awake. That’s how it usually is. Zirin always falls asleep first and the others aren’t slow to follow. But Azula still finds herself on edge more often than not and it makes sleep hard to come by.

Azula stares into the fire, only looking away from it when Ningka finds a spot next to her. “It’s kind of chilly tonight.” She remarks as she makes herself comfortable. 

“A bit, yes.” Azula admits. It is on nights like these when she craves home. Craves the palace’s walls and all of its luxuries. Nights like these when she misses her bed and the mountains of blankets and comforters. 

“I can keep you warm.” Ningka offers. She doesn’t wait for an answer. She usually doesn’t. It is something that they have talked about on a few occasions but Azula supposes that old habits aren’t so easy to break. She decides that she will let it slide this time. But only because it is rather nice to have let someone hold her every now and again. And only because everyone else is asleep. 

One of these days she is going to have to get over her aversion to being affectionate in front of people. One of these days…

But right now she has an image to upkeep and cuddles don’t exactly spark obedience and intimidation. Which is precisely why Ningka seems to enjoy holding her close and stroking her hair until she lets her guard down enough to nuzzle her cheek against the other woman. 

One of these days one of them will wake up, probably Zirin, and then her image will be shattered. Azula both dreads and craves it. She fears and longs for people to see a different side of her. Something softer. Kinder. The type of person that can be approached and given the comfort that she needs. 

For now she has Ningka. Annoying, brazen Ningka. 

But of course it takes a certain type of aggravating boldness for someone to be able to approach someone like Azula. 

“You should let me do your hair some time.” Ningka suggests. 

Azula’s face pales and Ningka cackles. 

“You would look amazing with short hair.” Ningka shrugs. 

Azula sweeps her hair protectively over her shoulder. “No thanks.” 

Ningka huffs. “Fine.” Her added mutterings are not lost on Azula. “One day.”

Perhaps one day–maybe the same day that she lets herself be vulnerable–but not tonight. Ningka is quite lucky that she has been permitted to hold her princess. Most people don’t even get that. Ningka is always pushing that limit. 

Tonight she kisses Azula on the forehead. Just a small and fleeting peck. But it is more than enough to make Azula’s chest tighten and her tummy tickle.

“Good night, princess.” And with that she ruffles Azula’s hair and makes herself nice and cozy. 

The audacity! 

Azula finds her own sleeping back and lays upon it, arms folded across her chest, glaring at the cave ceiling. 

The sheer audacity!

Azula recognizes that shit eating grin; Ningka knows what she has done. And she knows that Azula knows.

It is terrifying and alluring all at once, the thought of a lover. Some thinly concealed romance. 

It is frightening and kind all at once to embrace a new start, whatever that means for her. To embrace new companions.

And with one little gesture, Azula realizes that she doesn’t miss her old friend. 

What they had was terribly unhealthy.

Azula hardly remembers loneliness anymore. 

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Dark Nygmobblepot fic idea that I had as a result of my half awake brain and will never write:

Pet Project

Edward should never had let his guard down. Fool me once and all that. He trusted the Sirens and it almost ended in his death. He should not keep trusting Oswald, not when he knows Oswald is a liar. His memory is still more blanks than memories but the puzzle isn't as challenging: they weren't friends before the coma, Oswald was lying. But he has no one and he doesn't known if he can keep being good whithout support and he can't go back to who he was before, being Riddler drove him to an emotional blackhole but being just Edward was not going all that better, yes the bussiness was great, his P.I agency was booming but what was the point of having money when people didn't want to seel things for an ex-con? What was the point of living in lonliness? He was again just jumping to the next thrill and Oswald was a liar but he was there, he had not betrayed him, he was a friend, his only friend. So he pretended he belived the lie. He keept playing because he can't be alone.

Until Oswald "falls in love" with a woman he "rescued" from a human trafficking ring. They kiss and hold hands and she calls him her hero. And Edward isn't jealous or maybe he is but mostly he is concerned because Oswald still kisses him sometimes but mostly because she is still in a cell, she may not have realized yet but he is a third party and he is smart and he knows that this isn't love, that Violet is still a slave, another pretty bird in Oswald's collection, that she is a summer pet project and Cobblepot will dispose of her in the moment she disapoints him and he's concerned because he is trying to be good and because he kinda cares for her. But truly he is terrifield because he cannot see a difference between the rescue narrative Oswald told him, between the and kisses and love declarations Oswald gives her and the ones he gives Edward, he is terrifield because he is alone (and it isn't in part because of Oswald? It wasn't Oswald who told him to ignore Selina and Harls apologies since they were "cleary not honest", to cut contact with Diedre and Nina because "they were still on the crime life" and therefore "bad influences", to ignore Bruce Wayne trials of friendship after all "how could he understand"?) and he cannot stop the realization that he is trapped that he is just another one of Oswald pet projects, a different pretty bird in a cage and he needs to get free before Oswald gets tired of him.

[Yes my brain somehow mixed P.I Riddler post Doctor Aesop with Joker's Asylum Penguin, one of the most derranged Oswalds and I don't know why.

On a lighter note maybe in this reality Eddie can save Violet and also offer her someone besides Oswald to interact in her newly acquired "freedom". She truly deserved waaay better than she got.]

[itokunii-a]

@conquermonger​​​ asked: [ lit ]  your muse lighting a cigarette , spliff , etc. for mine . / for Valentin from Sasha /  ❥      NON - SEXUAL   ACTS   OF   DOMINANCE .

Whatever words he had planned to share with his companion die upon his tongue the moment their steps lead them out into the dark wintery night, golden eyes glazing over with an iciness of his own ( one that mirrors the cold winds filling his lungs with the shuddering inhale he quietly takes ) before they lose themselves in the vastness of a first snowfall. Tension befalls his body, blooming from between his shoulder blades before it conquers and claims his spine vertebrae by vertebrae, perhaps with the intention to render him unmoving or perhaps simply wanting to give him goosebumps he cannot shake, he does not know, and yet it does not matter what it wants but how he chooses to proceed, chooses to fight against it.

It is almost ironic how averse he is towards something as plain as snow ( bordering on hatred and yet he can never quite bring himself to feel as strongly as the word would suggest ), considering how present it has been all throughout his life: from his birth in the white planes of Siberia to his death in the frozen mud of blood and sleet to his resurrection from his cold grave ( rising like Lazarus, with wings as white as the flakes that buried both friends and enemies alike ), Father Winter has always been by his side. And as many times as he has seen it fall from the endless heavens, he cannot quite ever shake the implications that it brings. Death, hunger, lonliness, an empty house with figures made of ice that barely resembled his мать and отец, coating everything in a soft blanket of white hue. Goodness, maybe he should hate it.

Almost mechanically does his hand lift to take a cigarette from the pack in his pocket, the half-full carton an indication that smoking is a rare indulgence for him. It rests between his lips as he continues to scan the horizon for something he himself cannot quite place before the sound of a lighter being flipped open tears him out of his reverie.

Valentin blinks at the sight of the flame and then at the smaller man, barely illuminated by the flickering light and yet he can see all of his features with crystal clarity: from the way the tips of his ears redden as the cold begins to nip on them to the manifestation of his breath, depicted in small clouds of warmth curling between them. A sign of life in this bleak scenery and it is enough to melt the graveness from his own expression and shift it into a small smile, genuine, eyes radiating appreciation. “ Thank you. “, he leans in, letting the cigarette burn until he takes a warm inhale of smoke, easing worn muscles, leaving nothing more but sweet fatigue. A second passes and then he simply offers it to him with nothing more than an extended hand and a smile that does not move.

[bellsliturgy]

v’s family would celebrate christmas with a christmas cake out of whatever real fruit they could afford at the time, but always tried for strawberries. if fruit was not available, they would still make the cake without the fruit, but would decorate the surface of the cake with red food coloring to simulate strawberries.

since he had gotten poached by arasaka from trauma team, however, his connection with his family had fizzled out, and he slowly stopped trying to contact them for christmas, seeing as he was no longer welcome home in spite of his sister akko’s protestations.

while he doesn’t really celebrate christmas much, he does make himself a little christmas cake alone as a way of coping with the lonliness he experienced when working at arasaka. even when jackie invited him to celebrate with him and his family, v didn’t have the heart or courage to take him up on his offer, preferring to stew and suffer in silence by himself.

since jackie’s death, however, his decision to decline jackie’s invitations has been yet another item added to his long-growing list of regrets. he no longer bakes the christmas cake and instead busies himself with merc work.

[bunbunpawz]

The ability to speak

I’ve always had this talent to entertain people with what I do and say, It’s not always on purpose and I’ve always considered it a bad trait. People online consider it interesting, I always have something to do, something to offer that we can do, or something to say. It’s always entertaining, never really boring. Off line however, this is just seen as weird and uncomfortable. My talking might be the worst, I have so much to say, so much to give out, so much I need to get out and let others see or hear. But I am always frightened of talking, I talk too much, I annoy people, bother people, make people exhausted.  And yet online I am praised for this ability to never shut up. It’s a trait I’ve always wanted to get rid off, and it’s not like I speak 24/7, I get tired too. In fact I have spend most of my life in silence. I speak a lot because if there is anyone that can listen I want to say everything I can before that chance vanisehs and I’ll be in the silence again. It’s a trait very familiar to people who have experienced lonliness. Have you experienced lonliness? The kind of lonliness that comes from being isolated from people physically, and struggling to connect to anyone emotionally. sure there might be a parent or two, maybe even sibligns living in the same house but you never get to interact with them, you barely see them. sure you go to a facility everyday, a job or a school, some kind of program and you see people there, but they don’t talk to you, and you’re too unwelcomed to talk to them either. So no wonder when the chance comes you say everything all at once, this chance is scares and precious, it might never repeat again. This might be the only time you get to say this one thing you’ve always wanted someone to know, anyone to know, to just get it out there. But this ability has also come in handy, somehow people online find it, entertaining, they welcome it, they ask for it, they ask for more. Isn’t it strange? this thing I’ve always been ashamed of, thought was so negative, is so beloved by people all over the world. I’ve even been told that it’s a desired trait, isn’t it funny? a trait I’ve disliked for all of my life and tried to erase, became my most envied quality. Do you have a skill you’ve been ashamed of, that others praise?

[dmcheatsheet]

Hell knights

STRAVA he made the higher demon take the form a fancy long coat. that gives demon eyes and, +5 strength, and +5 reach. He is descended from a dwarf hold that failed, as all gnomes are, but he intends to lead a demon infused army to reconquer dwarven hold ruins. may rob ermeni bar tenders dwarf keys. and guilt trip and or mug u for any u carry.

Redmane, is vicios hell knight, and felfrost acolyte, who likes to freeze large bodys of water, then move through it and stab out from it at anyone who investigates the ice. He seeks ice elementals more than demons to be honest. other hellkinghts hate that he dosnt pretend to do the whole 'were just here to save u from demons' song and dance that keeps people off their back. Redmane just marches past people and when he does interact, its for food (and he haggles by growling). Dhampire, exile as a 'shameful product of lust' he dosnt know his past and only has his FelFrost farmilier, who he wants to feed, other ice elementals to please it (also gains power). Eats raw, ideally bloody meat. and hearts. He can perm hunters mark with a bite.

gruff guy, just doing his job. Really sad actually, hes lonly and awkward and annoyed by how scary he is. he just wants to be appretiated but people have blamed him before so he just shyly runs off after telling some rando its done. Geralt style, but with more cringing and moaping. He Born to scribes in the tower of contrcts, likely to live work and die there, but he heard from clients the beuty, and intersting things in the southern lands. He studied like mad as a child, trained as well, then joined the felknight acadamy, and thrieved, perfect student. But hes just so damn awkward and ominus when he meets these interesting people. Maybe has a crush on someone, who u need to help him ask. Hell except the no right away, and be happy just to make progress. 'what do i have to offer a beloved?' TALKS OLD TIMEY Shakespere like. big ol historygeek.

Cassia, the brute. (default name given to bottom of the barrel hellkinghts who dont have the brains but are technicaly physical enough to get the job) SocioP and A strict adheart to the 'hearts and minds' stategy, she hopes to save people (and capture demons). to educate people on how to defend themselves (and bind the higher demons after exorcisem). she pretty and wears [see above] beacuse not all FKs are scary (she is manipulative and suductive) She grew up in the city of thieves. Her only hope was to be so nice and helpful, non threatening and 'weak' that people wouldnt risk attacking the real her while loads of changlings stole her identity and stole from people. she has perfect pity from the City of Thieves, Shes an innocent bimbo to the City of Flesh. and each mentor and felloe FK in the Tower of Rust believe she was a dumb but dedicated student who they personally saved. She wouldnt have passed without them. Her biggest discovery is 'let people think they saved u' if theyre good people, they will feel good when seeing u, u remind them of their own triumph, and they will start really liking u. If theyre bad people and start demanding things from u or treat u like ur beneath them... Well i Kill those ones...

[alphabetofbullshit]

The time i accidentally manipulated my gf when she broke up with me

This all happened a little under a year ago. "'Daisy'" and I had been together nearly two years, always long distance. To contextualize the very weird, complicated relationship with brevity, we were teenagers who 'fell in love' on a lgbt discord server. The type of deal where she communicated poorly and i, in turn, tormented myself with entirely invented notions that i was constantly bothering her. That flavor of clusterfuck.

-== Story

Now, into my story. In june of that year, my otherwise perfectly healthy dad fell suddenly ill, and by the end of August he was dead. For this reason, my girlfriend 'gave me space,' which in no way helped the constant sensation of utter lonliness.

At this point in the story, Daisy has decided that i needed time on my own, and that, therefore, she would not bring to me any of her emotional needs. With her needs neglected, she begins to, herself, feel neglected. As i mentioned before, i am perpetually and often irrationally terrified of bothering people too much, so I myself wasnt reaching out either.

Now, we come to march (ish? maybe?) and we end up on call. Ill be honest, i forget if she told me she wanted to break up prior, or if it was on the call that she said it, but we're on the phone and im crushed. Now, to make matters worse, i realize i cannot find my earbud case. After tearing apart the house, i correctly assume the worst and check the washing machine... Lo and behold, my poor little galaxy bud case is entirely waterlogged.

These earbuds were nice, yeah. But the thing that broke we was that they were $250+ and that was a fucking luxury. A luxury that i had rendered useless.

So, i start crying. Out of stress, frustration, anger, sadness, i start crying. Problem was, i was still on call with Daisy, and I had not told her about my earbud mishap--- she thought i had been silent for 10 minutes after we discussed the breakup and had now started sobbing. So she tries to comfort me, apologizes, all that sort of thing, while im realizing whats going on. Never corrected her tho.

And sure, yeah, after i hung up figured out how to disassemble Galaxy Buds Pro, dried them out, and they worked just fine. I still have em and they're going strong

-== Conclusion

In retrospect, our relationship had been kinda toxic. Her response to my dad dying, and her sabotage of our relationship was insanely unfair--- i mean, she literally manufactured neglect then refused to offer me any chance to rectify it, not even telling me it was happening before it was too late. And yeah, i do kinda miss her. I mostly miss the concept of being in a relationship, but i do miss the person Daisy. Its strange.

By the way, did i mention the fact that she cheated on me twice, in addition to having been with the guy she was dating before we made it official the entire time we had been together?

Now that I think of it, ive changed my mind! Fuck her! I hope the guilt eats away at her, and i hope that in ten years time, when she looks me up, im living my absolute best life. Dream Of Me type shit, yk?