#look I'm genuinely curious for statistical reasons

[zenaidamacrouras1]

With the caveat that I work in Trump country and all Trump voters are real people with complex lives and I don't want anyone to die, and feel very sad about this political misinformation campaign that is literally killing people:

Did resistance to the Covid vaccine kill enough Trump voters to impact his margins in some of these counties?

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Statistical analysis of the most popular A:TLA fics on AO3

(All of this is accurate as of May 27 2024)

I like numbers and statistical analysis and for some unfathomable reason I find it calming. So last night I made this spreadsheet!

DISCLAIMER: This is not a judgement of the quality, value, or merits of any of the fics on this list. It's just me being curious about what's popular with the A:TLA fandom on AO3. I was genuinely surprised at some of the results!

Observations and analysis under the cut:

TL:DR, the fandom fucking loves putting Zuko into Situations.

Methodology: I'm including all fics from the first page of results from the most kudos'd, commented, hits, and bookmarks tagged under the Avatar: The Last Airbender (cartoon, 2005) tag on ao3. I am deliberately not including any larger multifandom flash fiction or drabble collections because I don't think they're super relevant. This ended up including 38 fics in total.

I put all the fics into one single spreadsheet in order to compare the differences between fics that are really high on the kudos count but not the hit count, or what has a lot of comments but fewer hits. Basically, I'm throwing a lot of things together to observe what gets engagement and looking at patterns that emerge!

Top 5 most popular fics by hit count:

Salvage - MuffinLance

Fractures - EvieNyx

Embers- Vathara

Towards the Sun - MuffinLance

The Art Of Burning - hella1975

Max: 1,407,170 (Salvage -MuffinLance)

Min: 78,168 (Risking it all - Sreeder)

Average: 349,442

Top 5 most popular fics by kudos count:

Salvage - MuffinLance

The Family You Choose - TunaFishChris

where the stars do not take sides - WitchofEndor

Fractures - EvieNyx

The beginning of a new and brighter birth - aloneintherain

Max: 59,947 (Salvage - MuffinLance)

Min: 3293 (Risking it all - Sreeder)

Average: 19,868

Top 5 most popular fics by number of comments:

The Art Of Burning - hella1975

Salvage - MuffinLance

Fractures - EvieNyx

Towards the Sun - MuffinLance

War Games - Lovely_Elbow_Leech

Max: 13,469 (The Art Of Burning - hella1975)

Min: 358 (Hallowed - Haircrescendo)

Average: 3634

Top 5 most popular fics by number of bookmarks:

absence of heat, excess of destiny - theycallmesuperboy

Salvage - MuffinLance

where the stars do not take sides - WitchofEndor

The Family You Choose - TunaFishChris

The beginning of a new and brighter birth - aloneintherain

Max: 150,317 (absence of heat - theycallmesuperboy)

Min: 430 (Risking it all - Sreeder)

Average: 9297

Highest kudos/hit ratio: Safety First - Haircrescendo (20.36%)

Lowest kudos/hit ratio: My Heart Burns For You - alwaysZutarian (0.89%)

Average kudos/hit ratio: 8.25%

Fic Ratings:

G: 9

T: 18

M: 6

E: 2

Unrated: 3

Popular authors (people who showed up more than once):

Aloneintherain (3)

Haircrescendo (5)

MuffinLance (4)

WitchofEndor (2)

Characters:

Literally all of these fics are Zuko-centric. Not all of them are Zuko-pov but every. single. one. focuses on Zuko as a main character. At least one of the following tags is on every single fic in this list: "The Gaang & Zuko", "Zuko & Zuko's Crew", "Zuko & Iroh" "Zuko & Azula" and "Zuko & [insert gaang member here]"

Relationships:

Ok this is what actually shocked me the most. I fully expected to see more Kataang, Zutara, etc in the top rated fics, but NO! Only 21 out of the 38 fics had any relationship slash tag, and of those, 20/21 were Sokka/Zuko (shoutout to My Heart Burns For You as the token Zutara fic to make it into this list). I did NOT realize Zukka was so popular! Now I'm super curious about what it would be like to run these numbers on FF.net because I know so much A:tla fanfic was written before ao3 existed and most hasn't been cross-posted, and Zukka wasn't a popular ship until more recently.

Other random observations:

There seems to be a pretty even split between post-canon firelord Zuko fics and canon-divergent "Zuko joins the Gaang early" fics.

Only one modern au as far as I could tell! (shoutout to "The Good Vanilla")

We all seem to love a Dadkoda fic

There is a very strong correlation between one-shots and a high kudos/hit ratio.

Seemingly no correlation between word count and number of kudos. The top kudos'd stories were mostly under 10k words, while all the other catergories were dominated by fics in the 100k+ word count.

I didn't really see much correlation between hits, kudos, and comments overall.

There were LOTS of fics that only showed up in one category, which was really interesting! I figured each list would look pretty much the same, and there were several fics that did show up on the front page of every category (Salvage definitely sweeps the board for overall most popular fic), but there was a lot of variation between each list! Some fics had TONS of hits but very few comments, some had truly wild kudos/hit ratios, some were just massively bookmarked.

Thank you for indulging in my nerdiness, and feel free to tell me what I missed or anything you're curious about!

Update: I did it again, this time with Legend of Zelda

[defilerwyrm]

Genuine question. I'm very passionate about conservation and helping animals and the planet, but a lot of people say you cannot be a conservationist without being vegan. Issue is..I don't wanna be vegan, I have AFRID and can't do it. I've tried. I saw your vegan posts and were curious your thoughts on those type of claims!

My thoughts on those type of claims are that it's pretty damned interesting who, specifically, they exclude.

They leave behind disabled people like yourself with medical and/or psychiatric conditions that make a vegan lifestyle impossible.

They leave behind Indigenous peoples such as the Inuit who live in places where agriculture is poor or impossible, and/or ones where no one can reasonably afford the costs of produce on account of shipping prices.

They leave behind the urban, suburban, and rural people who live in food deserts...who are statistically likely to be racialized.

They leave behind the unhoused and otherwise impoverished who must choose calorie-rich food to survive...who are statistically likely to be racialized, disabled, and/or queer.

They leave behind and deny the existence and invaluable work of Indigenous peoples who have done just fine stewarding the land while eating meat and using animal products for millennia.

They advocate for the extinction of the domesticated honeybee and the replacement of wool and leather with petroleum-based plastic products.

So it sure looks to me like those claims are ableist, racist, classist, colonialist, and homophobic — and thus are full of shit.

To each according to his needs; from each according to his means.

[roseharpermaxwell]

RWRB FirstPrince Sports (AU or Otherwise) Recs

Hockey, Lacrosse, Rugby - you name it, I'm here for it. Click below for some of my faves!

Born To Make History by @everwitch-magiks. T, 1.3k. This season, Henry has a new free skate. It's sassy, flirty, and actually genuinely fun, and somehow, it's taken him all the way to the Grand Prix Final. Still, even though Henry has perfected his lutz since his last competitive season, and gets that all too important second-half multiplier for every quad in his arsenal, he knows he isn't half as good as most of his competition. There's no way he's actually getting on the podium.

Except, one persistently curious and curiously attentive pair skater, with a distressingly attractive smile, gorgeous brown eyes and very interesting ambitions for the post-competition gala, seems to think otherwise.

'Coast-to-Coast' by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries. E, 1.3k. Lacrosse slang - when a player nearest their end-line takes the ball all the way down the field to the opposing team's end of the field.

Alex finds his old high school lacrosse jersey. Henry wears it.

The jersey is tight across Henry’s broad shoulders, the polymesh sleeves pulled by the tension, making Henry’s biceps pop, and if the hem didn’t reach the waistband of Alex’s underwear, it doesn’t stand a chance on Henry’s long torso. There’s at least two inches of skin visible between the top, and the band of Henry’s red D&G briefs - so selected tonight, because the red matches that in Alex’s high school logo on his chest. Henry looks sexy as hell, and he knows it.

i could be a better boyfriend by bananzie. T, 2.4k. It wasn't that Alex didn't like telling people about Henry—quite the opposite, actually—it was just that no one ever believed him when he did.

An AU in which Henry is one of England’s most famous rugby players, Alex met him during an exchange year, and they’re so in love it’s sickening, but no one believes him.

who are we to fight the alchemy by @coffeecatsme. T, 3.1k. INTERVIEWER: Kiss, marry, kill, between Taylor Swift, Beatrice Fox of the Tortured Poets, and Dua Lipa.

ALEX: Oh God, I’m gonna get so cancelled. Uh… Well, my sister would absolutely kill me if I killed Taylor Swift so I guess I gotta kiss her? I mean, she’s hot. And I guess I’m killing Dua Lipa? That leaves… Can I, like, take her brother instead of Beatrice Fox? He’s more my type.

Or, Cowboys star Alex crashes out of the closet in an interview. This is how everyone reacts.

Sets on the Beach by @happiness-of-the-pursuit. M, 3.6k. 95% of the able-bodied New York City queer population sign up to play intramural beach volleyball in the summer (this statistic is not supported by Nora). Unfortunately for Alex, this number includes Henry Fox and his very broad shoulders. Despite Henry’s unsportsmanlike recruiting and stupid genetic advantages, Alex is determined to take him (and the rest of Queerly the Best) down.

go the distance by @indomitable-love. T, 3.7k. His legs are like jello. He’s not entirely sure how he’s still upright. He’s running on fumes and the energy gel he’d been handed about forty minutes ago by one of the secret service as he’d passed by. Fumes, energy gel pouches, the roar of the crowd against New York streets, and pure adrenaline because he can see the finish line. He knows what’s there: June and Nora and Henry.

Henry. The reason Alex is doing this whole damn thing in the first place.

Alex decides to run a marathon. It's all Henry's fault, really.

Red, White & Navy Blue by @jedusaur. E, 4.4k. "Fine," says Alex. He clenches his jaw and his fists. "Great. Watch me. I'll bromance the shit out of the motherfucker." 

Twenty Seven Batters by @historicallysam. T, 4.6k. A ballplayer will refuse to stop playing because they want one more hit, steal, strikeout. One more homerun. One more win. So they get old and they lose their skill and embarrass themselves long after they should have hung up their spikes.

If that’s the rule, then Alexander Claremont-Diaz is the exception.

Because today, at age 38, Alexander Claremont-Diaz is six outs away from a perfect game.

Catch and Release by @welcometololaland. T, 4.8k. Henry isn't good at many things, but he is fairly good at rowing - something which is very deeply fine, until a transfer student from America turns up.

When Henry winds up being Alex's roommate on a training camp, they don't get off to a great start. Fortunately, their coach has other ideas.

A slice of the rowing AU involving midnight training sessions, extreme physical exertion and just a little bit of Only One Bed.

You Spin Me (Right Round) by @myheartalivewrites. E, 5.4k. “...he signs up for Henry’s evening class again, and if he comes in wearing a cropped sleeveless t-shirt with a bi pride flag on it and skintight burgundy leggings, well, that’s just a coincidence. He doesn’t necessarily mean anything by it.”

Henry is a spinning instructor and Alex is attending his first class after being ill. The whole thing is unexpectedly moving. And horny. Everyone is WAY TOO horny.

you know i love a london boy by @coffeecatsme.  T, 6.5k. “A very special friendship bracelet,” Bea corrects, with such a delight in her voice that Henry is immediately suspicious. He grabs the darn thing and twists it around, glittery beads shining under the lights of the room. A phone number, if Henry is counting them right. Despite himself, his heart skips a beat. “From the one and only Alexander Claremont-Diaz.” She grins, bouncing on the balls of her feet—the day she stops playing matchmaker for her brother will surely be a cold day in hell. The sole excitement of her life since she doesn’t do romance.

Henry twists the bracelet in his hands, counting the numbers again, and then looks up. “Who?”

Or, 5 times Alex and Henry keep their relationship a secret and 1 time they don't. 

let's get lost (and let the good times roll) by riversdeep. M, 6.5k. “Fuck, sorry,” The man says, distinctly American, holding a hand out to right Henry where he’s fallen. His face comes into view as Henry lets the man pull him up, worried eyes and furrowed brows, and he’s utterly mortified to realise that the man isn’t just any random man, he’s Alex Claremont-Diaz, June’s volleyball playing brother. Her very attractive, very concerned looking volleyball playing brother.

There's No Problem That San Diego Can't Solve by @historicallysam. T, 6.7k. Alex doesn’t even bother knocking; he simply twists the knob on the door and shoves it open. His eyes narrow as the door bangs against the wall and he sees Henry on the phone. Maybe (definitely) it’s rude but his blood is fucking boiling so he doesn’t really care.

Because I’m A Scoundrel by @inexplicablymine. E, 8.3k. Alex Claremont-Diaz has exactly thirty minutes to make himself look as slutty as possible for this Halloween Gala. At this very moment he looks a little bit like a sexed up pirate, but with the addition of his small black vest - rest in peace to the Patagonia packers and finance brethren- and a low slung belt with a “blaster,” a very sex-on-legs Han Solo is looking back at him.

Henry Fox, who is both a double scull rower with enough Olympic medals it would make anyone other than Alex sweat, and the definitive arch nemesis of Alex - is wearing a white sylvette Princess Leia costume, hugging his curves in all the right ways, the clingy fabric draping to the floor.

When you and your arch nemesis show up to the most important gala of the year in a couples costume you either play it up or shut it down. Alex has a decision to make, but the way that dress is hugging Henry’s ass isn’t making that decision any easier.

(la)cross(e) my heart by weather_stained. E, 8.6k. Alex is determined to start a lacrosse team at his college. It's his junior year, and he's closer than ever. That is, until he finds out someone else is trying to start a rugby team, and there's only enough funding for one additional sport.

Clubs Day comes around, and he finds that his rival is no other than the insufferable Henry Fox. Alex definitely doesn't spent more time staring at Henry instead of running his booth, but if he does, it doesn't mean he's obsessed with him or anything.

Thin Ice series by @priincebutt. E, 8.8k. Alexander Claremont-Diaz, charismatic center for the NHL's Dallas Stars, is completely and utterly smitten with the posh British librarian he met by complete accident. Tonight is the night, and he's got a plan to completely woo Henry and get his man.

Don't Quit It by @inexplicablymine. M, 9k. “And goddamn last but not least on my Hit It and Don’t Quit It list would be the Saracens rugby player Henry Fox. That man has great depths, and he could so easily plumb my depths, if you know what I’m saying. An all-around fantastic player, but also someone who is ridiculously smart off the field. And we all know by now that everyone on this list features my mile-wide competency kink. Henry, if you are seeing this, we could play around with some balls that aren’t just in play.”

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

Alex has just accidentally outed himself to 6.7 million people. And according to the comments section, they seem to be all too aware.

Or... Announcing your crush via viral TikTok... that's one way to get his attention ;)

Puck It by @kiwiana-writes. E, 9.7k. “I’m English, dear,” Henry tells him, and fuck if the nickname isn’t doing something to Alex too. “Our national sport is rugby, and we play it with a lot less protective gear. Though,” he adds thoughtfully, “rugby players do wear mouth guards, which means they have the significant advantage of generally keeping all their teeth.”

“We wear mouth guards.” It’s a common misconception, and one that annoys the shit out of him. “And I’ve still got all my teeth. Wanna check?” 

Love-Love by @smc-27. T, 10k. “I hear Alex Claremont-Diaz is available,” she says, and while the idea is terribly appealing, he knows that it is incorrect.

“Alex is an incredible tennis player. If he wanted to pair up, I’d be open to that.”

It is not often Henry’s mouth gets him in trouble. Years of media training and growing up with a celebrity for a dad have left him very practiced in the subtle art of the spin.

Apparently the mere mention of Alex had all that leaving his head entirely.

lacrosse, my heart by indomitablelove. E, 10k. Logically, Henry should have known to expect this. He’s aware of how lacrosse works. Or, at least, he’s developed enough of an understanding of how lacrosse works through Alex. He’s seen photos of Alex in his lacrosse uniform before, and yet somehow that still doesn’t prepare him for the sight of seeing Alex actually playing lacrosse.

Alex returns to his high school to play a charity lacrosse match. Henry joins him and sees Alex play lacrosse for the first time.

You didn't tell me you play rugby by Moony_Reggie_stars_1003. E, 10k. Alex finds out that Henry plays rugby, and has some very specific feelings about it.

Tread Lightly by @smc-27. E, 11k. Alex notices this guy the moment he walks in. Which implies that he hasn’t noticed the guy before now, which isn’t true at all. He’s seen him around. He - like everyone else - has stared at the guy’s eyes and waist and thighs and fucking Disney prince swoopy hair.

Alex is really used to hitting on people and getting the outcome he wants.

Or: Lax bro Alex wants Henry

How to stay with you by lovergalore. E, 12k. Alex feels like he hasn’t slept in weeks, which is essentially ever since he got his new roommate, Henry. Alex doesn’t have anything against his roommate—or his sexual proclivities; obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it gets to a point where almost every other night Henry has a ‘friend’ over and Alex has to pull out his noise-canceling headphones to be able to endure another minute in their shared dorm.

CHECK(MATE) by ma_lark_ey. T, 14k. "It's such an unexpected pairing, a hockey player and a punk star. How'd you too meet?"

"Oh, well, it's really silly. It actually started when Alex's fans started..."

"I met Henry because my Tumblr followers started this elaborate hoax about us being best friends."

"And, let me guess, you ran with it?"

"Oh, June, you know I commit to a good bit."

Pumped by myheartalive. E, 22k. Recently moved to London, Alex meets Henry at a climbing wall, where accidental rudeness and misunderstandings keep them apart, until they don’t.

There's pining, there's climbing, there's stupid boys falling for each other, and smut towards the end.

Show Me What You’re Working With by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 23k. He doesn't want to think the words "monster cock" but frankly, it's too fucking late, because they're now living rent-free in his brain in twenty-foot high neon letters.

How does that even work? Do the women he sleeps with come out changed? Does he have the goddamn ER on alert every time he goes on a date?

Alex isn't into dick, except maybe he is, and maybe this one specifically. 

the winner takes it all by @dumbpeachjuice. E, 24k. In theory, this shouldn’t be a thing. Alex has spent his whole life around other cyclists, on the track and the road and off both, and he’s never had this sort of visceral reaction to any of them.

(Well. Kind of. Maybe he let his eyes linger on a teammate once or twice. But like—Alex is an athlete. He appreciates the human form.)

But the way the muscles in Henry Fox’s thighs stretch and ripple as he urges his bike up the mountain—

Yeah.

It’s a lot.

And if Alex weren’t so determined to steal that yellow jersey off his back he’d fall off his bike.

Made the Right Selection by clottedcreamfudge. E, 27k. "You don't take 'no' for an answer, do you?" Henry says curiously, and Alex cocks his head to the side; his hair falls into his eyes just a little but he doesn't bother to brush it aside. Henry's fingers itch to do it for him.

"I do when it's the actual answer," he says eventually, and Henry's face twists into a smile.

"Right," he says.

"Alex, come the fuck on," Nora calls over from where the squad has started to wander off into whatever day there is left. Henry suspects, looking at the sun, that there's rather a lot of it to go.

"See you later, H," Alex says with a grin, and then he's gone, leaving Henry with his helmet in his hand and his heart in his throat.

Alex is a cheerleader. That's the premise. 

catch my breath to breathe your name by goingmywaydoll. M, 29k. “So,” the person says without pause, “I heard you like soccer butts but not the people attached to them.”

Where Henry’s family owns a (fictional) football club and Alex is fresh from the States and the new star addition to the team and it's all entirely predictable.

Stupid Games, Stupid Prizes by JustAnotherWriter_93. E, 38k. The College AU where Alex is a football player, and Henry has had a secret crush on him for two years, attending every football game possible. Henry thinks that getting involved with Alex will be nothing but a disaster, Alex thinks that maybe he isn’t as straight as he thought, and they’re both a little bit right.

Faster, Higher, Stronger by everwitch. E, 64k. When Alex fails to qualify for the 2022 Winter Olympics, it’s all too easy to blame Henry Fox, the dual citizen who’d switched from Team GB to Team USA and snagged the last spot for men’s figure skating. After Alex is abruptly thrown back into the games, he forms an unexpectedly deep connection with Henry. But no athlete who aims for the top of the podium can afford any serious distractions. Will Alex be able to keep his flaring emotions in check and take home the Olympic gold medal he’s always aimed for?

Baseball Boyfriends series by bleedingballroomfloor. E, 121k. “It’s just — I’ve had such a hard time feeling like I really belonged. I think that’s what got me in the slump in the first place. But coming back here, seeing all the love I still got even though I’m not on the Rangers anymore… that really helped. And being on the Mets, being in New York — you helped with all of that. More than you’ll ever know.”

Or, Alex and Henry are dumb, horny disasters. With an added bonus of baseball.

A Sporting Chance series by clottedcreamfudge. E, 236k. "Marry Henry - destination wedding. Combine all of our names so paperwork is a fucking nightmare." Henry stares at him and Pez rolls the dice, and-

"Congratulations to Alex and Henry Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen," he says with a bright grin, and Alex punches the air and makes a 'whooping' noise. "Your wedding is attended by the Beckhams, the President, and several key members of congress. Henry is very gentle on your wedding night." Henry is going to fucking kill Pez.

"Fucking sweet," Alex says, because Henry is apparently the only one here trying not to have a coronary about all of this.

It had just been a party game, except now Henry is in way over his head.

I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

[fly-tempest]

This is a bit off the normal focus of the blog (pretty pictures), but it's a bit of an interest of mine. Above is a chart of the number of thoroughbred foals born in Kentucky from different sire lines from 1999-2023. For example, the "In Reality" line shows the number of foals born by In Reality, or one of his sons, or one of his grandsons, etc.

It's striking how much the sire pool has narrowed to sons of Mr. Prospector, Northern Dancer, and Nasrullah (GB) (mostly through A. P. Indy but also with the Uncle Mos). While the overall foal crop has been shrinking, these sirelines have stayed constant - the decline in foal crop has come mostly from the disappearance of other sire lines. I'm sure there are caveats to this and things I haven't considered. For one, this doesn't look at where a particular sireline might show up in broodmares. But the next generation of broodmares can only come for these sirelines, right? (I'm not a geneticist, so if someone knows more about this I'm genuinely curious to know). Also, this is as far back as the Jockey Club has posted breeding statistics on the internet, so I don't know the extent to which there were similar contractions in the past. (It is worth noting that Mr. Prospector, Hail to Reason, Nasrullah, and Northern Dancer are all male-line descendants of Phalaris, who was foaled in 1913)

From the In Reality line: Bal A Bali (BRZ): 7, and Tourist: 2 (as a fan of Man o' War this is sad for me, as this is probably the end of his male line)

From all other lines: Mucho Macho Man: 27, Runhappy: 107, Skipshot: 3

I have some python scripts to put these charts together so if anyone has more questions/things they want to see let me know and I'll see if I can put some more charts together.

[valkyriesexual]

(to preface, I'm not implying you agree with every part of a book just by referencing it) I'm curious, what do you think about the section of "why does he do that" which talks about male "victims" (especially of women) often lying about their abuse for sympathy, saying something along the lines of "we don't hear about these cases because they rarely happen". It's a shame because the book has really good information on abuse tactics, but I can't bring myself to read it knowing how it devalues certain survivors and calls their experiences faked because of their gender. Yes, women abusing men is less common than the inverse and I'm not implying it's not, but I think using that to minimize someone's abuse isn't helpful for anyone

i think many abusive men will claim to be the victim of a female partner, and it is not necessarily to get sympathy. i think it is because they don't understand the dynamics of domestic violence.

i think abusive men can testify with a straight face that the parties were "equally at fault" because their behavioral patterns of control, gaslighting, emotional, and psychological abuse created a situation where a victim lashed out, slapped first, called him a useless piece of garbage, etc.

and because these men were on the receiving end of a slap, or a nasty comment, they genuinely believe they are the victim of abuse. and that's not true. its not "minimizing their abuse". it is correctly identifying their role as a perpetrator, and calling out the dynamics of the situation that led a victim to lash out in reactive or anticipatory violence.

when they do studies and have people self-report experiencing abuse, one frequent finding is that men over-report their partners being abusive, and women under-report their partners being abusive. this is both because a woman "being aggressive" is seen as unusual, therefore notable and memorable, and because a man "being aggressive" towards a woman is common, normalized in our society, and therefore less notable or memorable.

furthermore, when you look at studies comparing female-perpetrated acts of abuse versus male-perpetrated acts of abuse, female victims report experiencing much much greater levels of fear, female victims are much much much much likely to experience severe physical injury, and are much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much more likely to be murdered.

so i don't think it's minimizing anyone's experience of abuse to say that , as a phenomenon, the problem of domestic violence has a greater impact on women's lives. like literally. whether they live or die.

that's not to say that there are no cases of abusive women killing men. but to say that abusive men killing women and abusive women killing men are social problems of equal prevalence is inaccurate. and to give the phenomenons equal space and attention and resources would dramatically disadvantage women, who are at much higher risk of actual...death....

and listen, i'm not heavily invested in lundy bancroft as a person. i don't, like, get part of the proceeds if you buy his book on amazon kindle or something. but "why does he do that" is a SEMINAL text on dynamics of abuse for a reason. and if you are unwilling to read a book because you think that it will be unfair to male victims of abuse (something I'm not sure you can say until you read it...), you may not be the target audience for a book called "why does he do that".

and you may be going into the topic with preconceived notions of the dynamics of domestic violence without knowing (1) a lot of history of the long and difficult fight to get domestic violence recognized as a real problem rather than an acceptable part of life for millions of women, and/or (2) the scientific and statistical and ethnographic research done by people who have worked in this field for decades.

you have to remember that, as recently as the 1960s and 1970s, police department routinely had policies that domestic violence was a "family matter". the concept that a husband could rape his wife had to be literally put into law....

In the United States, prior to the mid-1970s marital rape was exempted from ordinary rape laws. The 1962 Model Penal Code, stated that "A male who has sexual intercourse with a female not his wife is guilty of rape if: ..."

Oklahoma and North Carolina had "marital rape exemptions" on the books until 1993. In 1993, only 17 states treated marital rape the same as non marital rape.

do you see what I'm saying here? in the motherfucking 1990s, women were out here trying to make the argument that it's not okay for a man to rape his wife. the 1990s!!!!!!!!!!! That means, for many of us on tumblr TODAY, our mothers may have lived in a state (and for the older tumblr users, themselves) where it was legal for their husband to force them to have sexual intercourse against their will. you cannot wipe away that history and pretend as if physical, sexual, and psychological violence against women has always been taken seriously.

yes, works on domestic violence, particularly older works, ("why does he do that" was originally published in 2002) may not have the most nuanced takes when it comes to male victims, or gender identity. they may not touch on racial inequities. it's good that we read those older works in conversation with newer scholarship that provides additional nuance. but it doesn't make the older works without value or merit or something important to say. the work today can only be done because of the work done by the advocates and activists and scholars that came before.

so to refuse to read something because you're worried about a lack of nuance, idk dude (gender neutral). i would say, read it for yourself before you write it off, and maybe, before you write it off, also do some reading about the state of domestic violence laws and discourse in society at/around the time that the work was published to put it in context for yourself.

[52booksproject]

Book 14 Far from Agrabah

Things got a little weird with my library website this week. I got 310 - statistics. And they had a few books on the census and its workings in countries and that looked cool, but they were unavailable. Every interesting looking stat book (ie not a dictionary) was unavailable, but for some bizarre reason a lot of kids books were listed under 310 too. Curious George, Nancy Drew, etc. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and chose Far from Agrabah by (and the book loves saying this) New York Times Best-Selling Author Aisha Saeed. Yes, it's based on Disney's Aladdin.

The writing itself is a little, I'm not sure, maybe stiff? But readable. It alternates chapters from the point of view of Aladdin and Jasmine with an occasional excerpt from "Legendary Leaders Across the Ages", little chapter vignettes about various legendary leaders of the kingdoms around Agrabah. These are the best part of the story and where the author especially shines, I think. The story takes place roughly from just before the "A Whole New World" song to the end of it. It expands that part of the story. They don't just fly and look at things they visit "Prince Ali"'s kingdom of Ababwa that genie has whipped up for one night. It shows Jasmine falling for Aladdin because he shows he genuinely respects her and Aladdin confirming that he's really in love with Jasmine. Then there's a little crisis they have to solve that brings them closer.

BEST LINE: "The bees were here because of you, " Ali said gently.

SHOULD YOU READ THIS BOOK: Let's be honest- if you didn't enjoy the Disney movie Aladdin (unless you didn't enjoy it because you found the romance too fast) you probably won't enjoy this book. If you did enjoy the film you'll probably enjoy this expansion of it.

ART PROJECT:

Since this was taking place during "A Whole New World" I decided to compose an original score for the book.

Just kidding, this is A Whole New World backwards- I can't compose. But I think it does sound cool.

[g0ldenstar]

I am very normal (not to un-anonymise myself but I wrote way too much just now), sorry to future you who has to analyse all that!!

I'd love to know how you'll be processing this data as someone who's done two years of uni work about research (mostly qualitative, and also not very good at classes lol) :D Also, what's the kind of scope you're aiming for with this paper, both sample wise and actual paper/word count wise?

Of course you don't have to answer any of these if you don't want to, I'm just very curious. Or DM me if you want!

Have a good day!

HI!!!! i just read your response (or what i believe was yours) and oh my god it was so well written and thought out and so SO helpful and informative! :)

ALSO i forgot to mention that im focusing on mcyt fandoms after mc’s revival in 2019. in my introduction/background information section of my paper i go into the whole history of mc’s peak in 2013, it’s slow decline up until 2019, possible reasons why mc was gaining popularity again, etc.

i am a first year uni student and this is my first time doing a research project! so i’m super new to the whole process and everything in general. my research class that this is for is fairly calm and mainly leaves the students with creative freedom for their paper (which is so nice and im so greatful for that), so as for sample wise i am not looking for anything huge or crazy! at this point im thankful if i had 3 responses or 300. i also don’t plan on doing any sort of statistical analysis for my survey portion so im not looking for my data to be normally distributed. as for length, the requirement is for 12-15 pages (apa formatting, so not including references and cover page), but so far ive written about 20 LMAO i talk a lot

i’m not extremely sure how i’m going to go about analyzing the data from my survey, i’ll probably end up having a section where i discuss the averages of each multiple choice/scaler question, then another where i discuss the open response portion. i’d like to really go in depth with participants’ responses though! i think getting fans’ opinions and just their general knowledge on certain events that i might be unaware of is so important to my project.

i’m also conducting a mixed qualitative and quantitative analysis on mcyt fanfiction and its relation to the set boundaries by ccs as well! it’s my kind of way to get the content creator’s opinions without interviewing them since that’s a bit out of the question for my project lol. also lmk if you want a more detailed explanation of how im doing that, i would go ahead and explain but its a LOT and this response is already super duper long

but thank you again for your response and your interest in my project !! i think what im studying is just genuinely so interesting and im so glad other people think so too. my biggest fear when choosing my topic was that it was too niche, but ur ask has made me think otherwise :))

[lesbianslovebts]

Honestly I don’t blame people for Bts’s weight issues?

They’re constantly talking about “losing” weight when they’re conventionally skinny. Reeks of fat phobia at times and I’m not surprising seeing they’re a KOREAN (the skinniest people on earth statistically) kpop group.

I feel they should tone it down a bit and be aware of their words impact on young people or people that are struggling with losing/gaining weight.

You can’t just sit there and blame fangirls of how Jungkook is trying to navigate his weight issues. If we can even call them issues.

Half of the time we don’t even notice he gained weight, cuz he’s a muscle bunny.

I always blame HYPE or just all these companies for the pressure of perfection and the unachievable beauty standards. Blame them, not the fans.

I'm going to answer in a numbered list so I don't forget anything.

1. Do you have sources that Korean people are the skinniest people on Earth, or did you just pull that out of your ass? I am genuinely curious if you have an article in mind or are just saying things.

2. I'm not going to diagnose anyone or anything, but I think it's safe to say that if someone admits to intentionally trying really hard to lose weight for cosmetic reasons (i.e., a jawline), then yeah, I'd say they have weight issues. Or body image issues, more like.

3. I totally agree that him talking about weight loss in a neutral-positive light in front of millions of his fans, most of whom are young, impressionable people who idolize him, is irresponsible. It sends the implicit message that anyone his size or larger should also try to lose weight to look good. He was, intentionally or not, promoting diet culture and perpetuating fatphobia. As someone literally twice his size, it was hard to watch. Struggling with body image issues or full-blown eating disorders is never an excuse for fatphobia. I know fans appreciate the openness and honesty, but the only people who really need to know about his diet, workout regimen, insecurities, what have you, are his nutritionist, personal trainer, therapist, close loved ones, and himself.

4. This is not to say that fans are not complicit in the problem, here. You're telling me I can't blame the fangirls for him wanting to lose weight, but let's discuss operant conditioning for a moment.

When Jeongguk is super fucking skinny (as he said, "almost sunken"), these are the types of reactions he gets: Omg he's so hot. Look at that tiny WAIST. His jawline is so sharp. What a MAN. I'm gonna wash my laundry on his abs. 💦👅🔥

When Jeongguk is not starving, dehydrating, or overworking himself, these are the reactions he gets: Look at my wittle baby. He's so ROUND. I'm gonna bite his bread cheekies. I love my chubby bunny boy. 🐰🥺😢

Now, as a grown ass man, do you think he prefers to be considered attractive or to be infantilized? Would he even want to lose weight without the incentive of being taken seriously by his fans? Those are the questions we need to think about, instead of saying, well, it's his problem. 🤷‍♂️ And, having thought about it, we need to be more cognizant of the words we use about other people's physical appearances.

[whack-a-moron]

Have you genuinely ever met a person diagnosed with NPD? Or an autistic person/neurodivergent person? Because I’m 100% wholeheartedly curious on if you’re satirical or not, I genuinely can’t tell as an autistic person. My boyfriend has NPD, and has had extensive therapy and reflects on his actions and is a healthy, loving partner. I’m more unempathetic than him, learned empathy is just as good as inherent empathy. Not everyone with NPD is abusive, and calling it narcissistic abuse is harmful because we don’t refer to any other personality disorders with abuse labels. These are people who developed a personality disorder due to childhood trauma who need help, and while their actions cannot be excused, they can be explained. It’s also harmful to use slurs towards neurodivergent individuals, and doesn’t help get your point across. You seem very hurt by something, especially with how aggressive your responses are. I hope you at least learn to not throw the r-word around, I’m sure it hurt more than just me who read it. I hope less people tell you to kill yourself, that’s not okay in any situation.

You seem to be coming at me in good faith so I'll answer you in good faith.

"Have you genuinely ever met a person diagnosed with NPD?"

Yes. More than once.

"Or an autistic person/neurodivergent person?"

Also yes. Also more than once. Also very, very close friends to some.

"My boyfriend has NPD, and has had extensive therapy and reflects on his actions and is a healthy, loving partner."

Good for him then (genuine). He would be an exception, not the rule. Regardless, some individuals who NPD who have learned better and worked on themselves exist, they are just - very, very obviously - the statistical minority.

They are also not the idiots swarming my inbox or notifications telling me to kill myself because I said something they don’t like, despite how much they want to preach otherwise and swear from the rooftops they’re “better now”.

The data is extremely clear that most narcissistic people don't change and don't benefit from therapy because they don't want to. Some will claim to change of course or put on a performance that they're changed and things will be better going forward - its something known in psychology as Future Faking. A professional who actually knows what they’re doing and has experience with NPD/narcissistic individuals will know this, and will often catch it, but there are a lot who aren’t qualified and even the ones who are are sometimes fooled.

I'm also going to go out on a limb and assume that your boyfriend was diagnosed at a younger age and got treatment at a younger age (younger than 25, 30 at the latest).

If so, and I'm guessing that's the case, there's a reason for that. A person's psychological functioning is a lot more fluid and adaptive below a certain age, easier to "re-wire" your brain essentially. A person can be diagnosed with a personality disorder and get treatment to where they basically no longer have that disorder or enact its symptoms (or can catch themselves in them) if its caught and treated early enough. It takes time and hard work but its doable - provided the person in question wants the treatment. People who are older? Like 30+? Well, good luck. Its not impossible but its far harder and more unlikely because of how brain pathing works on a physical level.

Also something that is less discussed is that there are some disorders that mimic NPD/narcissism but aren't.

C-PTSD (Complex PTSD) is one of those disorders that can look like narcissism/NPD but actually isn't, and the difference is really, really hard to spot for a lot of people. There are more people than you'd think who are misdiagnosed as "narcissistic" who actually have C-PTSD because the disorder is still ill understood and undergoing study as a relatively new "category" of mental health.

I'm not anyone's doctor so I can't say for sure either way, but I'm willing to bet that at least more than a few of the people going around claiming to have NPD from trauma but "don't fit the stigma" are being improperly diagnosed (if they were even diagnosed by a doctor at all lol There are a LOOOOOT of people who want to self-diagnose on this site to be "quirky") and actually have C-PTSD.

"Not everyone with NPD is abusive"

A lot of them are. Hence why exploitation/harm of other people is literally in the diagnostic criteria.

"calling it narcissistic abuse is harmful because we don’t refer to any other personality disorders with abuse labels."

And there are several reasons for that.

The most obvious being that NPD, as well as Antisocial Personality Disorder/psychopathy, are the only disorders specifically characterized as "having no or little respect towards other people or remorse for hurting them".

Narcissistic personalities have a blown up perception of themselves and an excessive desire for attention and admiration. Individuals with this disorder have a false sense of entitlement and little respect for other people's feelings. They are oversensitive to criticism and often blame others for their failures. Prone to outbursts of anger and irritability, the narcissistic personality tends to be manipulative in interspersonal relationships.

-

Individuals with antisocial/psychopathic personality disorder are known to be manipulative, irresponsible, and have a history of legal difficulties. They show little respect for the rights of others and feel no remorse for their actions. They also leave a trail of unfulfilled promises and broken hearts.

When people pull the “You don’t call it ADHD abuse!” or “You don’t call it OCD abuse!”, that is an absolutely retarded argument because “exploiting and abusing other people without remorse” isn’t literally in the required diagnostic material for having those disorders in the first place.

Its also because of how language works, which is a discussion I’ve already had on this blog. “Alcohol abuse” for instance implies and is understood that a person is consuming too much alcohol. “ADHD abuse” doesn’t work because of what I’ve already said but because with how language works it would imply the person with ADHD is being abused, not that they are the abuser. Its clunky and unclear.

Its a simple matter that “narcissistic abuse” complies with English structure without needing to be clarified into “abuse by a narcissistic person” or “abuse by a person with narcissism” to be understood.

“These are people who developed a personality disorder due to childhood trauma who need help,”

False, actually.

Not all narcissists were abused and treated horribly. Not all narcissists or types of narcissism are the same, and they don’t behave/present the same. There are types of narcissism that develop in normal settings, without abuse or trauma present. These just usually tend to be the low-grade types of narcissists who are more annoying rather than the big scary ones who do things like beat the shit out of you or kill your dog.

It also assumes that everyone who is abused will develop a personality disorder, when that’s clearly not the case. Its like when people go around claiming someone is only a criminal because they’re poor, despite the vast majority of poor people aren’t criminals and don’t commit crimes. There is a biological component at play.

I don’t disagree they need help. But again, the data is pretty damn clear most won’t seek it and most who do won’t benefit from it because they’re put into therapy by a 3rd party because of the damage they’ve done to other people (be it family, friends, court order, etc) rather than by their own willingness to want to change.

Self-awareness also isn’t always a good thing with narcissists, because more often than not it implies they know their actions hurt and they just don’t care, which is the common theme.

“and while their actions cannot be excused, they can be explained.”

Cool. Explain away. I’m still not going to stop calling people out for abuse.

If you’re an asshole, you deserve to be called an asshole.

“It’s also harmful to use slurs towards neurodivergent individuals”

Lol. Except I don’t. I just use it for screechy internet idiots who could have actively chosen any other path in life such as using the block button or ignoring opinions they don’t like but instead decided the sane, logical, and well-adjusted response is to tell people they don’t agree with to die.

I’ve known lots of neurodivergent friends. They all know better. All of them are quite frankly blatantly insulted by the “but I’m neurodivergent!” excuse instead of owning their harmful behavior.

“I’m neurodivergent!” isn’t an excuse to be an intolerable cunt and at that point you’re a retard by choice and I’ll call you as such. Retard isn’t a thing you’re born with in my corner of the world, its a thing you actively choose to be because you can’t be bothered with self-accountability. Ironically, that’s a pretty prominent narcissistic trait.

“You seem very hurt by something, especially with how aggressive your responses are.“

Nah, I just have opinions some people hate and I match energy for energy because why not.

Come at me as a screechy internet asshole, I have no reason to be polite to you. Abusive dickheads don’t deserve respect.

[freedom-of-fanfic]

I've been a big fan of yours since you started this blog, and I've kept up on the authoritarian thinking discourse, but while I agree with you on most of your perspectives, I'm a bit confused on this. What's the purpose of making assertions of the upbringings of antis? I feel it potentially forgives/excuses their toxic rhetoric, especially by calling them *victims* of right-wingers. Moreover it's an ad hominem attack that weakens our side by allowing them to refute it via personal circumstance.

(cont'd) I definitely understand the drive to figure out what makes antis tick. I have a background in psychology, and believe me, I'm curious too. But I also think that without launching a survey and statistically analyzing the results, the raised-by-authoritarian argument is only conjecture. I personally believe we're fighting a war against censorship, and any unfounded argument only adds firepower to their side. 

cont'd) I do not at all mean this to be an inflammatory ask. I value your blog so much, as well as your insights and the time you take in crafting and supporting your arguments. I've sent you a few asks lauding your posts, and I certainly hope you don't see my disagreement here as a slight against you or your work. I tend to stay in my line when it comes to these things, but I am genuinely curious about your reasoning on this, and would love to hear what you have to say. 

This ask is very kindly worded and sweet, anon. thank you for both your previous encouraging words and this ask.

(for others: the context is the poorly-worded post I made that theorizes militant fandom antis were taught their authoritarian behavior/thinking patterns by their upbringing.)

to be honest: I think you’re entirely right. the OP post was not only poorly worded, but far too speculative to make responsibly. As you say: 

‘it potentially forgives/excuses their toxic rhetoric’ - in fact, looking back at this it reminds me of ppl asserting that Trump is a narcissist. maybe he is! but that doesn’t excuse the behavior, and without proof it’s just an empty theory.

‘it's an ad hominem attack that weakens [’ship and let ship’ adherents] by allowing them to refute it via personal circumstance’ - yep. I think my reasoning was ‘a lot of militant fandom anti-shippers are American (based on self-reporting in a poll a while back), and 21st century America is highly authoritarian, and militant fandom policing shares observable behavior that’s authoritarian - so this is a reasonable conclusion’. but even if it were provably true, my wording conflated society-level observation with individual-level observation.

‘the raised-by-authoritarian argument is only conjecture’ - yep. i have no proof whatsoever, and probably never will have proof.

‘any unfounded argument only adds firepower to [militant fandom anti arguments].’ - this, too - because militant fandom antis are quick to jump on unfounded conjecture & lack of proof when you argue against them - even if they are the type that doesn’t require the same rigor from their own community’s assertions.

I made the OP because after reading The Authoritarians - which was chock-full of behaviors & thinking I recognized from my own cultish Evangelical Christian upbringing and the behavior of militant fandom policers - I was so mindblown by how it connected all these disparate things I’d struggled to unite that I unthinkingly made a quick post about it, intending to elaborate further in the future. instead, it blew up into the monster plaguing my notifications right now.

I wish I hadn’t made the post - but it’s too late, and it’s my responsibility to continue to address the fallout when I can. It was irresponsible of me to speculate in such a vague way about an unproveable theory, especially on a site designed to destroy what little context it had at first.

that said: In the fight against censorship, I do think there’s value in trying to understand why so many people support censorship.  the surface explanation that is so often given (’we need to shut down pedophilia, incest, and abuse’) is blatantly untrue in so many instances of invocation, which begs the question: what are pro-censorship people really interested in censoring? and why do they lie to others (and themselves) about it?

but ultimately: the upbringing of militant fandom policers isn’t worth speculating on. pointing out observable behavior is what I should keep concentrating on.