#look at that first pick he's so scrumbled!

[toon-link-plush-daily]

was thinking of buying a toon link on amazon and heres one of the reviews that made me giggle a little bit. just so you know.

Today's toon link is a passenger princess!

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

Ooooh! Old habits die hard. That one sounds interesting. Paint me intrigued.

no, listen-- this makes me want to quit my job and write fanfiction all day.

This is the only muggle AU I have ever written. Established WolfStar, past Jily, eventual Jegulus. MWPP are sharing a flat in London while they're in college, they're all broke, everything costs money, Lily (James' ex) accidentally gets pregnant and now they also have a baby that they need to take care of.

They start joking around about selling their organs to make cash so they can put Harry in daycare, and eventually it ends up with them dealing drugs. Hence this brilliant summary:

"The marauders start dealing drugs to get through college without selling their organs or becoming homeless. When one of their deals goes very, horribly wrong and they end up with a body in their living room, Sirius has no choice but to call a person who he hasn’t been in touch with for over seven years."

And here's a snippet of my fav part from the first chapter:

“A little help over here?” Sirius’ muffled voice comes from the attic above them, and Remus goes over to the staircase to take a large, wooden chest from his hands so he can safely get back down.

“What’s that?” James asks with a frown. The chest is made of very old, chipped wood with a large, rusty lock on it.

“I thought you got rid of it.” Remus says, looking over at Sirius.

James’ gaze darts between the two of them. “What is it?” He glances over at Peter, but the blond just gives him a helpless shrug. He looks just as clueless as James himself.

Sirius grabs a hammer from the tools box to their side and swings it over his head.

Remus jumps away so he does not get hit by it, and Peter yelps in surprise and scrumbles up to his feet.

James’ eyes widen. “Sirius, what-”

The hammer comes crashing down on the lock of the chest, smashing the rusty metal into bits and pieces that fly all over the room with a loud crack.

“What’s wrong with you?” Peter hisses.

“Sirius, what is it?” James asks again, his tone growing impatient. When Sirius ignores him, instead dropping down to his knees by the chest to go through the items in it, he turns to look at Remus.

“It’s from number twelve.” He says with a sigh.

Momentarily, the wound in James’ leg is entirely forgotten as his head snaps over to stare at Sirius. He is going through the contents of the chest frantically, seemingly in search for something very specific as he pulls out books, photo albums, letters, dropping them all carelessly on the floor around them.

At last, he pulls out an old flip phone from the bottom of the chest and almost trips over the chest as he jolts to his feet, rushing to the TV stand to plug it in.

Remus comes by to stand next to him, watching the screen over Sirius’ shoulder as the other goes through the contacts in it quickly. His hand is shaking and he curses loudly under his breath when he misses the right button. Remus reaches out a hand to squeeze his shoulder in reassurance. James bites his tongue so the storm of questions is his head does not spill out.

Once he finds what he’s been looking for, Sirius dials the number and presses it to his ear.

“Pick up, pick up, please, please, please, pick up.” He shuts his eyes in prayer as he drops back to the floor, leaning against the TV stand behind him next to James.

After a long moment of deafeningly loud beeps that fill the entire room, the sound cuts off abruptly. James thinks the line has gone dead at first, until he recognises static noise on the other end of the line.

Sirius pales. He stares at the screen of the flip phone, where it starts counting the seconds of the call. His mouth opens but nothing comes out.

James leans over and snatches the phone from his grasp.

“Uh- Hello?” he tries.

There is silence for several long seconds, before a low, seething voice speaks up. “Who are you and how the fuck did you get this number?”

The voice seems to knock some sense back into Sirius, because he finally shakes the shock off and leans closer to the speaker.

“Hey, it’s me.” He croaks weakly. “We might have.. A bit of a situation here. I really, really need your help.”

There is silence again, then the voice is heard once more.

“Where are you?”

Sirius quickly gives him the address of their flat in London, explaining how to get past the broken gate at the entrance of the building.

“I will be there in two hours.” The voice on the other end of the line says. “Stay put.” And then the line goes dead.

--------

“You said two hours!” Sirius exclaims loudly.

James tries to stop him on his way, reminding him that opening doors to strangers when they have a dead body in their living room is a very bad idea, but Sirius seems to recognise the series of knocks on the door, and does not waver in the slightest as he rushes to throw the door open.

“The plane was late. Weather.”

The voice is now standing at their doorway, and it also has a body and a face, although most of it is hidden behind an all-black suit and a pair of expensive-looking, dark sunglasses. He pushes past Sirius into the room without so much as a greeting and takes his glasses off as he pauses to take a look around.

“You flew here?” Sirius asks as he hurries to shut the door behind him, pushing all of the locks into place hurriedly.

“I was in Scotland.” The stranger scans the living room of their flat with his piercing gaze, not bothering to hide his clear distaste at the state of the old apartment complex. “Now tell me, what the hell did you-” He cuts himself off abruptly once his narrow eyes land on the rolled up carpet at the corner of the room.

He walks over to it slowly, and crouches down next to it. James exchanges a worried look with Peter and Remus, who are both looking at Sirius in question. Sirius does not stop him as the stranger reaches out a hand to pull away the edge of the carpet slightly, revealing the rotting body inside of it.

He does not even blink at the sight of it.

“Huh.” He drops the edge of the fabric and wipes his hand against the material of the curtains next to him (which Remus’ mother so kindly gifted them when they moved, along with the couch and the kitchen table).

When he turns around to face them, still kneeling down on the floor next to the rolled up body, there is a wide, smug smirk on his lips. His eyes are shining with a dangerous glint as he fixes his gaze on Sirius.

They both have the same eyes, James belatedly realises. Hooded but wide, a light grey colour that holds dozens of patterns and constellations inside.

Something in his mind finally clicks into place.

“Old habits die hard, don’t they, brother dear?”

[herofics]

I'm in the mood for some depressive Angst so I had the Idea of what's your Headcannon how Kirishima, Midoriya and/or Tamaki would react, feel, think after they unintentionally found a Suicide Note of their S/O? for example, it was scrumbled next to the Trashcan and as they take it to throw it away probably they see it has their Name on it, or something like that. Hope you feel inspired

They're adults and living together. I made a scenario for Kiri cause I only noticed you asked for HCs afterwards.

~Tamaki Amajiki~

•You were still sleeping when Tamaki went through some drawers looking for tissues, he had a bit of a flu

•He found the note in one of your drawers, and didn’t pay much attention to it at first

•But something about it caught his attention

•He read it, again and again, in disbelief

•He started crying the second time he read it, just quiet sobbing

•But you woke up to it, and just stared at him and the note

•You didn’t say anything for a while, you wanted to bury yourself in your blankets and just cry too

•You talked later in the day, it as quite a slow conversation and involved a lot of sniffling and apologies

~Kirishima Eijirou~

Kirishima was doing some housework while you went to the store. He was collecting bottles from your table, since you had a bit of a habit of letting them collect around. He dropped one and it rolled next to your trashcan. Kirishima picked it up and threw it into the plastic bag with the other bottles. He decided to also pick up the trash that was on the floor. There was one chocolate bar wrapper and a crunched up paper. Something about the paper caught his attention. Maybe it was your name signed at the bottom of the page, or stains on it. It looked like you had cried while writing it, the ink had smudged.

He straightened out the paper an started reading it.

"Mom, dad, Eiji, I am tired. Tired of living like this. Tired of living in pain and fear…"

"What the hell…?" Kirishima muttered.

"Eiji!" you yelled from the front door. "Could you help with the groceries?"

Kirishima didn't answer. He just stared at the paper. Muttering the words to himself. 

"After I'm gone… I'm sorry… I love you…"

"Eiji, are you here?" you asked as you appeared at the doorway.

"Wha-what is this?" he asked and raised the paper.

You snatched it out of his hands and started tearing it apart, not looking him in the eyes. 

"It's nothing"

“That’s not nothing, that-that’s a note, like a suicide note”

“And now it’s gone”

“That doesn’t make it okay”

“It definitely doesn’t, but can-can we not talk about it” you sniffled.

Kirishima finally stood up and walked to you, he dropped the paper and just hugged you. At that point, you completely broke down, you cried in his arms for what felt like hours.

~Midoriya Izuku~

•He was coming home from work late one evening and found you writing the note

•Izuku didn’t really pay any mind to it, since you wouldn’t show him what you were writing and he went to take a shower

•You had left the note out on the table, maybe because you didn’t think he’d come out of the shower so quickly, maybe because it was your last cry for help

•Anyway, he read it and pretty much ran to look for you, because he got super scared

•You were in the kitchen, making a cup of tea

•Izuku just hugged you from behind and said “please don’t”

[another-sonic-blog]

I am but a shadow and you are light Pt.2

ShadAmy

Shadow was still feeling bad as he hasn't seen Amy in days. However, every three weeks Sonic would make him write her letters. 

 He wanted to go and apologize to Amy but his work has kept him all day at G.U.N. Sonic would be with him, once in a while, he would even go to their meetings which was surprising to Shadow. Sonic wasn't one to stay too long in one place. 

 "Further research has indicated that the subject known as Infinite has been confirmed alive after a recorded video of him was sent to us by one of our spies," G.U.N.'s commander said. 

Agents in the room had suddenly changed their expressions.

"Do we know where he is right now?" Sonic asked as he put his legs on top of the large table.

"Yes." The commander said as he stood up from his seat. 

"Where is he?" Shadow asked softly but first at the same time.

"He is..." The commander took off his glasses and suddenly one of his right eyes turned yellow, "Right here"

 As he finished saying that, he released a blast of energy which caused the whole room to explode.

 Some of the buildings' remainings landed on Shadow, hurting him badly. Sonic had landed on some of the scrumbles of cement, wood, and dust. The rest of G.U.N.'s agents were knocked out or way to injured to move.

The G.U.N HQ building was still standing miraculously. 

 Shadow felt the heavy remains been taken off his body but he soon realized it was Infinite doing him the favor. 

"Who is weak now?!"

 Shadow had to admit that he was surprised. Infinite's new ability to shapeshift was impressive.  

 Shadow felt his body self healing quick, he was getting his energy back but needed to buy more time. 

"Between you and I...It's not me." Shadow said with a cocky smile on his face. 

"Well, let's try and see what you say it's true."

 Infinite didn't want to lose any more time and began to quickly beat up Shadow. Giving no time for his body to heal. 

Shadow received a direct hit to the face.

.

"Come on Shadow! The only way we are going to get out of here is if we work together!", Amy said as she walked behind the black hedgehog. They had been fighting since they got lost in the forest. The forest was a strange one, Shadow couldn't use his Chaos Control and his rocket shoes weren't working either. Amy couldn't even pull out her hammer.

"I told you to not come with me," Shadow said as we walked angrily. "I told everyone I didn't need a teammate, I work better alone."

"I didn't want you to be alone, what if well...something like this happened?"

 Shadow turned around and looked at Amy.  "I don't need you!"

She had to admit, that even when Shadow was angry, he was still a very attractive hedgehog, he had a perfect complexion but his red eyes, which she didn't mind.

But even with his attractive self, she wasn't going to let him get away with screaming at him.

"Fine! I don't need you either!" , Amy said as she turned around and began to walk the opposite way from Shadow.  

"Fine by me!"

 Shadow began to walk away as well but he felt a strong pain in his chest. He has never felt pain like that before and although he wanted to keep walking to keep his pride, he couldn't hold for long. 

He felt to his knees with a loud 'Thump' and Amy immediately ran towards him to help him.

"Shadow, are you alr-"

"Stay away! I don't need you!" He said as he pushed her away.

Amy's face changed her expression. It would have been so easy for her to just walk away and leave him alone. But she made it her new goal to get through his thick skull. 

"Listen. ... I am gonna take care of you whether you want it or not so just..." Amy paused to get more air as she picked up Shadow on her shoulders, he couldn't even move in protest. "...So just let me help you."

Shadow sighed, defeated and he hated it that feeling. 

"You are so stupid."

.

"Not so strong now right Shadow?!" Infinite had picked him up by the neck, preventing him to get air.  

Infinite threw him into the ground. "Come on! I'll give you a chance! Come on! Fight!... Fight me!"

 Shadow tried to stand up as he eyed Sonic, knocked out. He was still breathing which was good. Shadow felt his right eye bleeding and his immune system trying to stop him from bleeding. He was so injured that he wonders if his body would be able to heal during a fight. 

 But he wasn't going to down without a fight.

He charged for a punch but infinite was easily dodging every single punch Shadow was trying to give. 

"Pathetic," Infinite said as he kicked Shadow right in the chest, making fall to the ground an hit his head. 

.

 Shadow couldn't remember for how long Amy was walking with him in her shoulders. 

May be hours, maybe days.

They had finally reached a cave. It was raining a lot and Amy was still somehow able to make a small bonfire. 

 Amy had torn a part of her dress to use it as a handkerchief. She went outside and use the cold water of the falling rain on the handkerchief. She then went back inside and placed it on Shadow's head. He was a fever and Shadow was nowhere used to that. 

"Somehow, this forest is making your immune system to give up... you've never been sick before, right?" Amy questioned.

"What do you think?" Shadow said sarcastically. 

"You know, you could be a little bit nicer, I carried you all the way here and you are not that light."

"I didn't ask you to help me."

"UGH, YOU-" Amy calmed down. She wasn't going to let Shadow get the best of her. "Don't worry Shadow...even if you are mean to me, I'll still help you."

"As I said, I don't need you! I don't care what happens to you, so I'll make it clear. I'll leave you alone as soon as I  get better, so if you want to leave before then, do it now!" Shadow said it and Amy new that he was dead serious. She sighed and took hold of his hand. 

"And like I said, no matter how mean or horrible you are to me or will be...I won't leave you alone. Not now, not ever." 

.

 Shadow opened his eyes, his head feeling heavy. He didn't feel this way for a very long time. He had to admit that it wasn't a good feeling but it was very reminiscent of the past. 

"Wow, you really have grown weak," Infinite said as he walked towards Shadow who was still feeling fuzzy from the kick he received. "I wonder if a certain pink hedgehog has to do with it."

Oh no.

"I don't know... what you are...talking about." Shadow's chest hurt badly, he took pauses to speak as getting air to his lungs pained him a great deal. 

"You perfectly know what I am talking about. Pink and green eyes, very beautiful indeed, such as unique combination like goddess indeed." Infinite hit Shadow with another energy blast, making his body fly to the wall. "Maybe I should pay her a visit once I am done here."

 Infinite grabbed Shadow by the neck once again but this time Infinite made sure to kill him slowly. Shadow felt his lungs run out of air and slowly he began to lose consciousness. 

.

 Shadow had to admit that at this point he was just faking to be sick. 

But he was just so intrigued by the pink one that he just wanted to see more of her. 

He was still weak, and his legs will still tremble when he tried to stand up but overall he was doing good.

He couldn't let the pink one know however, he was just enjoying too much the way she would take care of him. 

Her warm smile when she would come back with food. Her small talk and her positive character had made way through his horrible personality. 

Before he couldn't stand any type of company but if it was her...

then it was worth it. 

"AAAHHH!"

 Shadow heard Amy scream and with his weak legs, he tried his best to go fast but wasn't helping much. 

Finally, he reached her. He saw her laying down on the grass, bleeding a lot in a delicate state. 

Amy was still conscious and saw Shadow walking towards her. 

"No...leave! Shadow someone is here...you have to leave!" Amy begged him but saw Shadow still trying his best to walk towards her. "I said leave!"

 Amy began to throw rocks at him, unable to move her the rest of her body only her hands. She was laying down on her stomach. "That thing is going to come back soon...leave!"

Amy kept throwing rocks at Shadow, actually hitting him and to be honest it did hurt him. "Don't you understand? I am done for, save yourself!"

 Amy grabbed another rock, she was careless but the rock she grabbed was really pointing and very sharp and she threw it at him without thinking much at it.

The rock went straight for Shadow's right eye and with the movement, it made a deep cut. Starting from the top of his eyebrow, covering his eyelid and down to his muzzle. 

 Amy gasped as Shadow reached her and was able to perfectly see the thing she had done. 

Shadow was never going to heal from that cut and this event will forever remain with him as a form of a scar. 

 It began to rain once again.

"You said...you said that as soon as you got better you were going to leave me," Amy said crying as she feared for Shadow's life. "You are better now...so why don't you leave?"

 Shadow felt something coming, enormous power was coming towards them. Tremendous steps coming their way. 

"RAWWWWWWWW!"

The enormous monster arrives again, making his presence know with a loud scream.

The monster was a gigantic shadow, just that. It had a phantom shape but it had no eyes, no mouth, no extremities. 

just a shadow. 

 Shadow looked at Amy and held her hand. 

"Because no matter how mean or horrible you are to me or will be...I won't leave you alone. Not now, not ever." 

.

"Now you will DIE!" Infinite had finally decided to kill Shadow he clutched his hand which held Shadow's neck. 

To his surprise, he felt Shadow's hand-arm his and then break it. 

Infinite scream releasing Shadow as the pain of his arm been broke in two ran through his body.

He looked back at his enemy, his body was healing faster than usual and within a minute he was fully recovered. 

Shadow had only been able to do this once, many years ago in that forest.

and now. 

 Shadow smiled to himself, he couldn't give up. He still had a long time he wanted to spend with Amy.

He wasn't going to leave her alone. Not now, not ever.

 Shadow clear the blood left over in his mouth as he said to infinite: "Let's play."

.

.

.

 Amy ran to the hospital. She didn't stop until she reached the room. 

There she was, Sonic was in bed sleeping and Shadow was sitting on the sofa. Amy sighed in relief as she saw both of them were doing good. 

"How's Sonic?", She asked Shadow as she got closer to his bed.

"He will be fine, he got beat pretty badly but he was able to give a pretty good beat up to Infinite...all by himself." Shadow lied, but he wanted to give Sonic all the credit.

"And you? How are you?"

"Perfectly fine, I wasn't there when Infinite attacked." Shadow lied again.  

 A silence fell into them and it was very awkward, it the first time they had seen each other since the fight. 

"I am sorry Shadow," Amy said. "I should be able to understand you better."

"I am sorry that I let my anger on you...I forgot about that day." Shadow said as he stood up from his seat. 

"Day?"

 "Yes, but now I remember... Actually, someone told me to give you this letter." Shadow held Amy's hand for a bit and then let it go. "I'll leave you to yourself so you can read it."

Shadow walked away, he wanted to go home so he could dream about the pink one, so he could dream that it was him saying to her all the things that were in that letter. 

 Amy sat on the couch that Shadow was sitting on before, and open the letter as he gave Sonic one last look and began to read...

"I have to admit that this love is hard. I think of you all the time when I am sad when I am anxious when I am stressed and the reason why I am happy is because of you. I have to be honest, I had thought of leaving you, of starting new. However, I go back to remember that day. The day when everything changed, the day you entered my heart. That day I killed a demon, but you killed the one inside of me. Since then I promised myself that no matter how cruel life is, I'll still be your shadow. Always there for you, whether you share my feelings or not...I won't leave you alone. Not now, not ever." 

.

.

.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

congratulations on reaching 1000 followers! for the ask meme.... Lucretia or Magnus from TAZ?

For the Thousand Meme!

1. Something before canon

The traveling show comes through Raven’s Roost a little before the revolution kicks into high gear.  It’s a weird, arrogant elf and his assistant, and the elf dresses like a catastrophic accident in clothes but pulls it off.  Magnus guesses that confidence really can make anything work.  He tries a sample macaron and it’s--

“Hey, hot stuff, are you all right?” Julia asks.  Just Julia then, still his teacher’s daughter.  “Is the cookie okay?”

Magnus blinks and scrubs at his blurry eyes and he’s surprised to find tears there.  “Yeah,” he says with a rickety laugh, popping the rest of his sample in his mouth and savoring the sweetness as he wonders if he’s sleeping enough.  The rush of--of something is fading, he can barely remember what made his chest hurt and his eyes water.  “It’s really good,” he says.  “Tastes like home.”

2. Something during canon

Magnus has always really liked red--or, well, not really always, but close enough.  He kind of vaguely recalls a time when his favorite color was green, and his inner sappy romantic says that his favorite color is brandy-brown like Julia’s eyes, but.  It’s red, it’s been red a long time.  It’s just a favorite color, though, it doesn’t really have a lot of bearing on his life.  He’s barely thought about it until he joins the Bureau, where everyone dresses in blues and silvers and whites.

Except for Magnus, in his red shirts and red neckerchiefs.  And except for Merle, in his stupid floral prints with hibiscus.  And except for Taako, with his beloved red umbrella--and of course he has to dress to coordinate with the thing, Taako might dress like a multi-battle-wagon pileup but he’s a classy pileup.

Magnus isn’t sure why their resistance to the dress code makes the Director so amused.

3. Something after canon

In the cottage on the astral plane, Magnus lies on the bed that Julia built for them with his head in her lap and tells her everything.  Some of it she already knows, some of it she saw, but he tells her every single thing from his long, strange life, and she buries her hands in his hair and kisses his dumb face every time he says “and, God, you would have loved it, Jules.”

It takes him several weeks to get through everything.

4. Something happy

Magnus gets something of a reputation, after the Day of Story and Song.  Not the reputation you’d think, although he gets that too.  The reputation he gets is as the best dog rehabilitator anyone’s ever seen.  Bring him a violent or traumatized dog and he’ll adopt it and have a new best friend within the year.

It’s all about waiting, is what he says.  He’s good at waiting, he’s been doing it a long time.  He has seven dogs and it’s amazing.

5. Something sad

Magnus picks up a new nightmare to add to his collection after Refuge.

It’s a simple dream, and it goes something like this.

“Why didn’t you save me?” asks Julia, holding the Chalice, and she stands there watching him as blood stains her dress.  He doesn’t have a single thing to say.

6. Something shippy

Julia started calling him ‘hot stuff’ because she thought it was funny to watch her father’s new assistant and protege turn scarlet.  Magnus made it such a business to be game for anything and totally unflappable that the second she realized she had a way to crack his composure, she abused it terribly.

This backfired on her a little bit when she realized she’d gone and fallen in love with the big friendly lug.

Also this

7. Something smutty

Magnus, for reasons he can’t really remember, goes down like a god.  The first time he eats Julia out, she’s just absolutely hazy with it once he comes up, grinning smugly at her--she jokes that she decided to marry him on the spot because obviously.

It’s only like...eighty percent a joke.

“Breath control,” is Magnus’ only comment on the matter.

8. Something domestic

Magnus and Taako and Merle (and others, although the three of them don’t know it at the time) all have nightmares, off and on.  Not about the same things, not even always about things they remember when they wake up, but they have a lot of Three AM Kitchen Meetings, wherein Magnus whittles things to the comforting sounds of Taako clattering around in the kitchen and Merle pointedly not doing the dishes.

Taako makes good hot chocolate.  It’s about all he can bear to cook for people he gives a damn about, since Glamour Springs, and only from scratch, no magic whatsoever.  Some days he can’t even manage that, and pours the whole saucepan out into the sink.  But sometimes he shoves a mug in front of Magnus and says, “That’s the real shit, homie, don’t let it sit there and get cold.”

It’s strange--Julia liked coffee when she couldn’t sleep, not chocolate--but Taako’s post-nightmare hot cocoa tastes like home.

9. Something dramatic

Magnus, during the century on the Starblaster, has a near-pathological talent for getting killed covering someone’s back.  If he doesn’t manage to outright die, he loses a limb, or goes blind, or gets splashed with acid and fails to get back to Merle in time to be healed.

The twelfth time it happens, he blinks his eyes open at the start of the next cycle and barely has time to say “Hey, guys” when Lucretia hauls off and slaps him as hard as she fucking can.

Lucretia is not, in fact, the frail bookworm she usually lets herself be.  She knocks out one of his teeth.

“Get him, Luce,” Lup observes in the tone of the scientifically interested.  It is possible that they have discussed this in his absence.

“You stupid fuck,” Lucretia says, pristine and disappointed as she looks down at him where she’s managed to knock him onto the floor.  “Stop getting fucking murdered for us, please.”

“Nah,” Magnus says, grinning up at her with blood on his mouth.  

“This is not a request,” Lucretia says, completely unamused.  Magnus stops grinning.  “And don’t you forget it.”

He doesn’t.

10. Something AU

Magnus smiles a little at the helpful robot they meet in Lucas’ lab.  She has a number noted down on her chassis, but she introduces herself cheerily enough as Julia, instead.  Only reasonable to assume she’s got a name, rather than a serial number, Magnus guesses.

“I used to know a Julia,” he muses, making sure to keep the smile on his face.  “It’s a nice name.”

“Thanks so much, random stranger,” she says dryly.  It’s a little difficult to make out tone in her mechanical voice, but he knows she’s laughing at him.

It’s not until everything is over and he’s flagging down Kravitz to carry a message that it comes together.

“Julia,” Kravitz repeats, eyebrows raised.  “You want me to take a message to Julia Burnsides.”

“That’s my wife,” Magnus confirms, and if he had eyes for anything else right now he might notice the way their more-scrumbled-than-ever robotic companion freezes in place.

“Oh...kay,” Kravitz says, drawing the word out, and pivots on one heel with the grace of a dancer and the expression of the last sane man in a madhouse.  “Julia,” he says formally to the other corner of the room, where a robot is having a revelation, “your husband would like me to tell you that he loves you.  Seeing as he’s just negotiated your indefinite parole, I can’t really imagine why he wanted a messenger for that.  You kids have a good time sorting this one out, I have work to do.”

And he bails before he can get too involved in the fallout, while Magnus has a small heart attack.

[rogue-rook]

many many highlights from The Crystal Kingdom from a first-time TAZ listener

featuring some bits from the Lunar Interlude II: Internal Affairs

travis: “it was streaming on witch. that’s like magical twitch!”

SWEET ANGO HAS RETURNED!

i cannot believe griffin went to the EFFORT of making a fantasy costco jingle

the lockpicking garden gnome called the Nitpicker that insults the damn party is a beyond brilliant object for sale at the fantasy costco

I really want to lodge a complaint with the HR department of the bureau of balance on sweet angus macdonald’s behalf bc these grown men are FULL ON BULLYING THIS TEN YEAR OLD BOY GENIUS

so is this new shitty scientist consultant lucas a bigger annoyance than shitty train butler wizard jenkins or does jenkins still retain that title

travis: "anything this touches turns to crystal?" griffin: "yeah, pink tourmaline" travis: "yeah, I'm not gonna say that, because I'm an adult"

CAREY FANGBATTLE is like on par with Jess the Beheader in terms of Cool Names

griffin: “so the three of you are currently sitting in a gondola, which is another word for a little boat” travis, singing: “the more you knoooowww”

“so it’s made of crystal, right?” “yes, everything is crystal” x1000000

the crystal kingdom song is beautiful

griffin: “you see a sign that says The Magical World Of Elevators” justin: “griffin's really stickin it to the people who say he's not allowed to have elevators in this game”

today in failed brand marketing: “Upsy, your lifting friend”

this arc is ACTUALLY set up like a video game level puzzle, when griffin says “ah, you’ve solved my crystal puzzle” it will actually apply

clint: “I rolled a 4 but I get another roll...a 5″ travis: “wow, you're really bad at dnd”

merle: “I'm gonna use Banishment on the cockroach” griffin: “okay, you're just gonna yell GET OUT OF HERE COCKROACH, I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE”

magnus is being fucking mean to lucas, the genius inventor, and he’s been a TOTAL DICK to sweet boy genius detective angus macdonald, and i feel like pointing out that he was WAYYY nicer to shitty evil wizard train butler jenkins who beheaded a guy with a teleportation door

griffin: “one of the signs is labeled Radiation Ventilation Maintenance Chamber, and the other is labeled Lil Genius BuddyBot R&D" travis: "I feel like this is a trick” clint: “I feel like griffin has been playing Fallout”

I LOVE HODGE PODGE THE LIL GENIUS BUDDYBOT!!! EVEN IF HE TURNS OUT TO BE EVIL, THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE MADE ME LOVE HIM PRETTY INSTANTLY AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT

hodge podge: “magnus! merle! take-o” goddamnit griffin

justin: “can we just put the stone of far speech in front of the robit and griffin, you can just talk to yourself?”

hodge podge is exactly the kind of unsettling demon robit with a mostly-adorable voice, except for when he goes demon-y, that I expected from griffy

justin: “my character taako has innate skills in: investigation, nature, history, religion, arcana, and religion” so is he double good at religion then

taako: “okay, I got a question for you: who....do we work for?”

lucas: “hey, are you just mean to everyone?” THANK GOD SOMEONE VOICED THIS LEGITIMATE FUCKING CONCERN, THE GRUBBY GRIFTERS ARE MONSTERS

clint: “I look up what scrumbled means” griffin: “justin said that in a Monster Factory once and I’ve been using it like it’s a real word” justin: “I am the lewis carroll of my generation”

noel the friendly medic robit’s voice started at vaguely-angus like and then became straight up country southern and i really hope somebody calls griffin on it

i really think griffin introduced the nitpicker so he could have a way of introducing his own critiques of his dad and brothers’ dnd skills

the little compact mirror has some shit in it that i think must be important

there’s a rift in space and time and pink tourmaline is coming out of it and the damn song is super ominous and making me MEGA NERVOUS and honestly i don’t know what the flying goddamn fuck is happening but i am SO INTO IT

lucas: “you’re just yelling hugbears at me” magnus: “BUG! HEARS!” “what” “what”

so is lucas just like holding these poor bugbears in fucking slavery

the grubby grifters discover the tourmalined body of boyland and magnus asked if he can DESECRATE THE GODDAMN BODY OF HIS TRAGICALLY DECEASED COWORKER

griffin: “these two figures are just taking these ice robits to Fool School”

awww they’re gonna fight one of my favorite little creepy crawlies! human sized tardigrades that will absolutely fuck their shit up!!! so cute

griffin: “you’re so loosey-goosey with your possessions! ‘hi scuddle-buddy! bye scuddle-buddy! go get on that train to hell!’”

clint/merle’s immediate panic when they decide the only option here is to CHOP HIS GODDAMN ARM OFF

killian, after picking lucas up: “THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST SHITTIEST DAY EVER, WE ARE TWO PEOPLE DOWN, YOUR LAB SUCKS!!” #relatable, I feel u killian

during this arc the mcelboys keep talking about how they don’t remember shit from the beginning of the show bc that was two years ago and im like what? what? that was three days ago, friends!! its bc ive binged this shit in under a WEEK

merle basically has a plant fetish okay, that’s the only reason this soul-wood shit worked

griffin: “it actually curls up and gives you a thumbs up as if to say 'hey! I'm your arm now!’”

so like this planar system shit is probably important, right

this parseltongue motherfucker that’s like fucking haunting the grubby grifters needs to start explaining what their whole, like, DEAL is

this Red Robe dude is having a FREAKOUT over the damn umbrella and im like mmmmm maybe taako shouldn’t have just taken the damn umbrella, no questions asked

killian’s scanner is having a major freakout over a lich being present and im like, yeah, its the fucking umbrella, yall

oh, real quick, the mcelboys gotta pause the action to whine at each other about character voices

killian: “I am going to ABSOLUTELY murder that man” yeah, killian remains the most goddamn relatable npc in this fucking world

i sure hope The Adventure Zone Zone doesn’t have any super important info in it, bc im not gonna listen to the mcelboys talk about the maxfun drive from two fucking years ago

the crystal golem just called the grubby grifters bounties, and said it was time for noelle the friendly medic robit and the grubby grifters to all go back to the astral plane and im like WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? GRIFFIN! WHAT?

OH FUCK ITS BEEN KRAVITZ THIS WHOLE GODDAMN TIME!!!!! KRAVITZ!!!!!

griffin: “a D6 is like a dice-ass-dice! that's like some monopoly shit!!”

kravitz: “i don’t even know how that even worked, like with physics”

taako: “luke! use the fork!” merle: “the fork will be with you, always”

magnus: “I want to roll an investigation check on noelle...I rolled a 2″ griffin: “okay well you know noelle is a robot”

YALL!! SHITTY TRAIN BUTLER WIZARD JENKINS AND MAGIC BRIAN THE GERMAN MORON BOTH CAME BACK!!

magic brian the german dumbass: “i had an invitation to my wedding for you, and instead of RSVP-ing, you murdered me!”

travis: “when you say they evaporate, do they go back to heaven or hell or the after plane, or whatever, or are they GONE?” griffin: “it kinda seems like you obliterated their soul. kinda seems like you just kinda ERASED them” travis: “you know, at the end of day, I punch people, but dad unmakes their existence, who's the real monster?”

the fact that noelle died in phandolin when the grubby grifters and gundren rockseeker turned the whole town to glass is so goddamn fucking tragic, THANKS GRIFFIN!!!!

lucas miller: yet more proof that dickin around with science and magic and mad scientist shit is always gonna end badly for everyone

kravitz: “taako, you’ve died eight times”...[...]..”magnus, you’ve died 19 times”...[...]...”merle highchurch, the richest bounty i have ever hunted, you have died 57 times” WHAT?? WHAT? WHAT???? WHAT???? GRIFFIN!!??? WHAT????

THIS STORYLINE IS LIT

griffin: “a legion of ghosts” justin: “great”

i think both griffin and I have forgotten that carey fangbattle and killian are in this scene. also merle has had a soul-bond wood arm this whole time

the grubby grifters beat a goddamn LEGION of ghost robits, or ghrobits, and then kravitz slides back into the scene all like “uh, hey, assholes, thanks for saving me, I’ll make up some legal loophole bullshit to thank you” that’s not a direct quote, that’s me editorializing. i fucking love kravitz

taako: "they found new bodies, just because they're mechanical doesn't mean the life is any less valid - battlestar galactica"

oh fuck magnus got a cheating deck of cards in like episode goddamn THREE and he just whips em out in episode fucking 39 against kravitz

kravitz, massively misunderstanding the assholes he’s talking to: “the rules of nature are there for a reason, so lets just stop running afoul of them, as if this all just funsy-fun make-believe!”

magnus: “kravitz! tell julia I love her” TRAVIS!!!! TRAVIS MCELROY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO MY HEART!!!

lucas: “you'll never see me again, but if you do, i'll be doing good, and please don't kill me instantly”

justin: “i give angus a thumbs down” motherfuckers

killian: “hell yes! I love this plan! me and carey, and a robot ghost with a gun arm! sounds like a plan!” magnus: “sounds like a spinoff!” killian: “that’s sounds like some torchwood shit!”

davenport the goddamn pokemon

on one hand, I’m really goddamn suspicious that the director isn’t actually destroying the relics but is collecting them for her own gain. but on the other hand, if this turns out to not be true, I will feel bad for suspecting her so hard

taako: “director, here’s the truth. what did you have for lunch on Dec 3 2015? you don’t remember right? that’s when you told us not to talk to the Red Robes. what’s I’m saying is WE FORGOT!”

YOOO THIS EPILOGUE PROPHECY IS SOOOOOOO COOOOOL GRIFFIN!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!

this was a wild wild wild wild ride and whatever griffin is doing with this story is LIT

[littlenephilim999uriel]

The Snake Princess and the Grounder Prince.

Sooo I've got a Request I reeeeeeellly need to do now!! Sorry you had to wait so long... I was wondering if you could make an imagine where the reader danse for king roan in his tent when they are alone? (Kinda like santanico danse for richard in from dusk till dawn I don't know if you see what I mean haha) maybe it could end up with a little smut please?? But It's okay if you don't do it... thanks Warnings!: I am totally awfull with smut but I tried my best... so enjoy I guess? - Your Story - (Y/N) Lancaster was one of the Skypeople. Well WAS... When they first arrived on earth she got seperated from the other 99. She was pretty sure she was going to die... if not from wild Animals, definetly when she was captured by grounders. They locked her away in a Cave, wanting to use her against the other Skypeople. No such luck... they abondened her or that's what she thought because she had to free herself. Unfortunately the entrance was locked and well.. she was stuck. In that time she found 3 eggs. Lucky Lucky, she thought. Nope! Out of this Eggs came out tree black snakes with a beautiful silver glow that made their skin look like space. Also theid had white points on the skin that made their way back towards the tail in two long lines. What was even more breathtaking, was that they glowed in a pure white light in the dark.... The girl just didn't have the heart to kill them. - Today - The Snake Princess, that's what they called (Y/N) today. She was well known in the world of the Groundes. Her Dancing skills matched noone other and her beautiful Snakes, stunned every one. Her cute little Babies had grown to a lenght of 2 Meters and even though her lenght they weren't as heave as one thought, but not any less poisonous. One bite and even a grown men was dead within seconds... that's why no one even dared to get close to her. (Y/N) was in her Personal tent getting ready for her probably most important show. Prince Roan himself requested for her presence. "Okaay... You got this girl." (Y/N) said to herself as she took one last look in the Mirror. (Clothes in the Gif)

(Y/N) slowly stepped outside of her tent and made her way over towards a Giant one in which Roan was waiting. Stopping shortly infront of the entrance she took one deep breath again, before stepping inside. When Roan noticed the movement he sat up straight a grin coming onto his face. Getting into her act she slowly walked over towards him with swaying hips. As she walked past towards a basket, her hand gently caressed over his jaw and chin, making said man shiver. When at the basket she leant down picking up one of her Snakes. (Y/N) placed the Snake on her shoulder. It wraped itself around her hips and around her right arm. The Snakes head was slightly hovering above her hand. Slowly (Y/N) started to sway her hips as she made her way towards him. Roan was watching her intently his eyes fixed on her every move. "Tell me My Lord..." She purred seductively. "Are you afraid of... Snakes." (Y/N) pulled the 'S' long as the Snake snapped forward, snapping for Roan.(Not really.) Knowing the danger of this Animals he jumped slightly, making the girl chuckle. Placing her right hand on his shoulder, the snake slowly made it's way onto his shouders. Roan stiffened slightly at the feeling but seemingly relaxed when he felt her hand wander on his shoulder, as she walked around behind him. Slowly leaning down (Y/N) gently nibbled on his ear. At that Roan let out a breathy moan. "Are all your shows like that? 'Cause I am starting to regret not having you called here earlier." He said with a cheeky grin. (Y/N) chuckled at that. "No... I couldn't help myself... I just-" She kissed him on the neck again, making him shudder. "Had to..." Another Kiss. "Have a taste.." (Y/N) then gently took away her snake and started to dance again slowly swaying over towards the basket and placing the snake inside again. As soon as she had done that (Y/N) was spun around and pressed against the table.

"Aren't you a little tease?" Roan purred. He wasted no time attaching his lips to her neck, starting to kiss and bite up her neck. With every bite a small moan escaped her. (Y/N) had hed hands gripped into his jacket, feeling her knees weaken by every second. If it wasn't for roan and the table, she'd have fallen down already. A sudden sharp pain made her gasp. "Did you just... I can't make a show like this!!" She hissed at the Prince, placing a hand on the sore place. Roan had a boyish like grin on his face. "I had to mark my teretorie." And with that he turned around and walked away. As the words slowly sunk in she shot up and quickly scrumbled after the Prince. "I never agreed to this! Damn don't you dare just walk away!!!"

This is so bad... I am very sorry!!! T.T