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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 2 years

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Small Town Whispers (Jaehyun/Smut)

WayV/NCT Masterlist Group Masterlist

A/n; This is loosely based off of Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls and Luke & Lorelai’s relationship. I hope you guys enjoy this, I haven’t written a full story in a long time.

I would also like to apologize that this got pushed back so much. It wasn’t my intention whatsoever but it happened. However here it is! It’s a little birthday gift from me to you, as I am posting this the day before my birthday!!!

Taglist: @nctdom @skynightgalaxy @yoon-oh-what-i-deserve @jaesdolphin

Tags: Diner owner! Jaehyun, afab! reader, drunken confessions, distant longing, gossip, slow burn.

Smut tags: needy, dirty talk, oral, pulling out, mirror sex, hair pulling, cursing, teasing

Word count: 8320

Nothing happens in a small town without everyone knowing about it, it’s common knowledge. Small towns, although they have their charm, they also tend to be filled with very nosy people. It was only natural that when the old diner got bought by an outsider everybody knew about it.

In all honesty, you liked to complain about the nosiness of your neighbors but you were just as nosy yourself. It was simply rare that someone from the outside bought property here, naturally it peaked your interest as well. Though you seemed to be more subtle about it than most, that meaning you didn’t press your face against the glass of the diner’s windows in hopes to catch a glimpse of the stranger. You’d see them when you saw them, but your curiosity was there none the less.

“I heard he’s from a rich family, buying up properties in small towns to franchise later on.” You heard Mrs. Yang say to Mrs. Park as you walked past the newsstand. You were simply going to attempt to walk past but you should have known better, those two were always trying to drag everyone into their gossip. “Y/N, Good morning!” Mrs. Yang said, making you stop your quick pace and turn with a sigh. “Good morning ladies.” You smiled, knowing the gossip would be worse if you walked away rather than entertain them. “Have you heard about the diner being bought?” Mrs. Park asked and you tucked your hands into your jacket pockets. They knew you had heard about it, the whole town had had heard about. It made you curious as to why they were asking you in the first place.

“Of course I’ve heard about it.” You told them, watching them smile. “Oh good! Do you know anything about the owner? We’ve heard things but maybe you know more.” How odd, why would you know more. “I know less than you. I just know the diner was bought. Now ladies, if you’ll excuse me I’m in desperate need of a coffee.” You excused yourself from the table, patting them on the arm before you left. They might have been gossips but they were good people.

To get to the coffee shop, you had to take a sharp left turn on the sidewalk in front of the diner. You didn’t think much of it, simply crossing the street while searching your pockets for your headphones. Your focus was so set on getting coffee and untangling the wire of your headphones, you completely ignored the man who was obviously struggling to open his truck door while holding 3 paint cans.

“You wouldn’t possibly be able to help me would you?” His voice surprised you and felt a wave of guilt wash over you, you hadn’t even seen him. “I’m so sorry. Of course.” You rushed to help him, glancing at him as you opened the door for him. You had never seen him around before which meant one thing…

Watching as he placed the cans on the back seat, you scanned him over. A loose flannel hung from his shoulders open over a simple shirt on jeans, he had a baseball cap on backwards and kind face. He was handsome, which definitely meant that you were the first one in town to have actually seen him otherwise the gossip would have only been worse and they most definitely would have mentioned how attractive he was.

“So you’re the one who bought the diner.” You commented and watched as he straightened out his cap. “That obvious huh? I feel very infamous in this town.” He leaned back against his truck, rugged handsome for sure. “Well you are, it’s rare that someone from the outside buys property. You know how it goes, news spreads quickly in small towns.” You placed your hands in your pockets, forgetting your fight with a cable not 2 minutes earlier. “I’m starting to learn that…” He paused, looking at you and your warm smile. “I’m Jaehyun.” He extended his hand to you and you graciously took it. “I’m Y/N and a little word of warning this exchange will be the hot topic of discussion tomorrow morning.” You joked, making him laugh and look to the floor.

Jaehyun had heard the whispers already, he was just trying to get paint for the diner. “Rich family… franchise… beginning of the end for the small town.” It couldn’t be further from the truth, but Jaehyun had no energy to correct them. He wasn’t the most vocal man anyways, he proved himself through actions. So he simply smiled at the whisperers and bought his paint, he could most definitely ignore them.

“Is the gossip good?” Jaehyun asked, eyes meeting yours again after shaking off his thoughts. “Depends on where you stand.” You didn’t want to tell him, he seemed nice and far from expectation. Better than expectation.

“And where do you stand?” Jaehyun crossed his arms, a small smile on his face. You were pretty, that down to earth, small town type of pretty. You also seemed like the most level headed person around, at least so far. He hadn’t really met many others other than Johnny the hardware store guy.

“I like to remain as neutral as possible.” You mimicked his expression before adjusting your jacket. “It was really nice to meet you Jaehyun, but there’s a cup of coffee waiting for me a few doors down.” You gestured down the street, watching as his eyes followed your hand. “When I open the diner, there’ll be a free cup of coffee waiting for you.” Jaehyun said and you looked at him with raised brows. “Careful, I’ll most definitely hold you to that.” You told him as you started walking away, waving in the process. You were very sure you would be seeing him again.

Just as you suspected, the next morning Mrs. Park stopped you on your way to get your morning coffee once more. Prying about your conversation with the stranger. You told her the bare minimum, starting with his name and that he seemed to be very kind. It left the older woman wanting more and if she wanted that, she could ask him herself. You excused yourself again and wandered past the diner.

Jaehyun had seen you across the street, talking to Mrs. Park from inside the diner. Watching as you smiled at the woman’s words and seemingly apologetically excused yourself from the conversation. There was something about you, not that he wanted to get hung up on the first person he met in this small town, but he couldn’t quite help himself. There was simply something about you.

You waved at him as you walked by, catching him looking at you from the window. He simply waved back, shooting you a smile in the process before turning away to continue putting together the diner counter. Last thing he needed was to be perceived as weird, he already felt like a social pariah.

It took about 2 months for the diner to officially be opened, renovations having taken Jaehyun a little longer than he had hoped. Though it was quite successful. It seemed like the people in this small town were missing a place like this, a simple place where you could sit and eat without being disturbed. It only made it better that the food was good. Word was quick to spread that Jaehyun was simply a hard working man, who had a dream of owning a diner and that the rumors were entirely wrong. He was considerate, opening early enough for the standard working crowd to get breakfast and late enough for those craving a midnight snack.

That was how you wandered in to take advantage of the coffee he had promised you. You didn’t want to show up on the first day, knowing it would be entirely too busy and that he wouldn’t have a moment to relax. So you simply waited, much to his dismay. You waited until you had an early work day and needed a pick me up before getting there, figuring the breakfast crowd would be scarce.

“Goodmorning.” You said, the bell of the diner signaling your arrival. You were almost nervous and you couldn’t quite explain why. Truly you had been anticipating coming here for the few weeks it had been open. You just wanted the excitement to die down a little first.

“Goodmorning, I was beginning to think you forgot about my promise.” Jaehyun smiled from behind the counter, a dish towel slung over shoulder and a plate of eggs and toast in his hand. There was only one other customer in the room and this was exactly how you wanted it. “I would never forget. I was simply waiting for some of the excitement to die down. You know the excitement of finally being let into the stranger’s life.” You said, sitting down at the counter and taking off your jacket. Jaehyun laughed as he handed the other customer his plate.

“I see. So now that the excitement has died down, what do you think of the place?” He asked, walking back around the counter to stand in front of you. You glanced around the diner, taking in the small details. It was quaint, not the biggest place and it had an old school feel to it, but it was incredibly nice. It had almost a homelike feeling, made you feel like you were indeed now let into the stranger’s life. “I feel like I know you a little better now just by sitting here. It’s really nice.” You complimented, watching his mouth pull into a big smile. It was the first time you had noticed his dimples.

“Regular or decaf?” He asked, gesturing to the 2 different coffee machines. “Regular, if you ever catch me drinking decaf I’m sick.” You commented, getting a small chuckle in return as he poured you a cup. He placed it on the counter in front of you and leaned against it. Thanking him, you brought the cup to your lips and nodded in satisfaction. It was a good cup of coffee and that made Jaehyun even more attractive.

“Have the masses been kind to you so far?” You asked, naturally leaning a little forward to get closer to him. You couldn’t help it. But it was alright, because Jaehyun found himself doing the same. “They’ve been kind enough.” He remarked, hands toying with a napkin on the counter. “Though I’m beginning to understand how news gets around so quickly here.” He added on and you nodded, that meant one thing. “Ahh, you met Mrs. Park and Mrs. Yang.” “I met Mrs. Park and Mrs. Yang.” Jaehyun said, nodding with an expression that simply made you want to laugh. He watched as you took a sip of coffee, taking note of the few hairs in your face and pretty shade of your eyes.

Jaehyun knew a little more about you than you knew, all thanks to Mrs. Yang and Mrs. Park. While they were grilling him about his life, he let slip that he was single and the ladies lit up. They found it was seemingly their job to set up the local singles with each other, quite possibly for the satisfaction they received if it ended in marriage. They started listing the eligible singles to which Jaehyun tuned out, until your name came by. For someone who didn’t enjoy gossip, he sure enjoyed hearing about you.

“Those women love to talk.” Jaehyun said, thinking back to that conversation with a smile. “They really do.” You added on, sipping your coffee again. “Do you want anything to eat?” He asked, snapping himself out of the daze he was in. “No, I should probably get going. Early work day.” You told him and he nodded. “At the bookstore right?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “How did you- nevermind, Mrs. Park and Mrs. Yang.” You said the last part in unison, both laughing as you put on your jacket.

“I’ll be back, for sure.” You said and headed for the door before pausing. “That was an exceptional cup of coffee.” You remarked and Jaehyun looked to the ground again before watching you leave. He took the towel off of his shoulder and placed it on the counter with a sigh. “Y/N’s great. If I were you I’d act fast.” His only customer remarked, chewing on his toast. Jaehyun simply in nodded in response, he should have figured no conversation would be private.

The diner had become your safe space, you often found whenever you didn’t feel like making breakfast, lunch or dinner that you just felt the most comfortable there. Jaehyun was an added bonus, or maybe the reason you were so comfortable. You were actually quite sure it was because of him. There was an undeniable chemistry there and well while you both might have been in denial about it all, anyone else could see it from a mile away. Jaehyun treated you differently from anyone else, allowing you behind the counter while he was busy with an order so you could grab your own muffin meanwhile the thought of someone else doing it simply made him upset.

You too treated him differently from most. Though you loved living in a small town because of how the locals made you feel, no one made you feel as comfortable as him. You quickly simply became friends. Which was how you ended up in this awful back and forth. It took too long for either of you to make a move and now you were stuck in a longing friendship on both ends, too scared to make the first move.

That was one of the reasons you didn’t have a problem saying yes when a regular customer asked you out, you didn’t feel compelled to say no. You couldn’t wait for Jaehyun forever and well, the customer was cute. You typically wouldn’t go out with someone who shopped at your workplace but Hangyeol seemed nice enough.

You had made sure to dress up for the evening. It had been such a long time since you went on a date, you were almost excited and for the first time in weeks Jaehyun wasn’t the only thing on your mind. At least, not until you sat down at the restaurant. Hangyeol, while seeming nice enough, was horribly dull. The conversation fell flat after 5 minutes and as much as you did your part to try and keep it alive, there was no saving it. Did you regret resorting to alcohol, yes. Would you have been more miserable without it? As much has you hated to admit it, yes.

Towards the middle of the evening, all you could think about as your date droned on about his workout routine was Jaehyun. You were drunk, you were definitely drunk but you didn’t care. This date had really made you become very clear on one matter… you were most definitely in love with Jaehyun and you were going to tell him. In your mind it meant that that night was still absolutely feasible to do so. The second your dates and you said your goodbyes (without him even offering to walk you home despite you being very drunk) and marched your way to the diner.

It was closed already but you could still see Jaehyun inside. He was wiping down the counters and the lights were dim, but knowing him he wouldn’t mind if you came in. It wouldn’t be the first time and well if everything went well in your drunken mind, it wouldn’t be the last.

“You know we’re closed.” Jaehyun didn’t even have to look up to see it was you when the bell rang, you were the only one who pushed those limits. “I know but you like me enough to let me in anyways.” Your words slurred and that was when he finally took the moment to glance up. You looked absolutely beautiful and it made him nervous. His heartrate picked up and he let go of the cloth, suddenly feeling the need to tidy himself up to match your appearance. Though that quickly went away as you lost your balance in your heels, extending your arms to stabilize yourself against the wall.

“Are you drunk?” Jaehyun asked, gesturing for you to come over and sit at the counter. You carefully walked your way over, focusing very hard on trying to keep your balance. “Maybe a little.” You pasued once you sat down, your eyebrows furrowing in the process. “I deserved a drink tonight. I might have indulged a little bit.” You thought back to the date, shuddering in the process. “A little? you smell like wine.” Jaehyun laughed, pouring you a glass of water. “He was so boring. I’ve never been on such a bad date.” You admitted, words still slurring. “Didn’t even offer to walk me home.” You mumbled, sipping your water.

Jaehyun felt angry at your last sentence. How could your date not offer to walk you home? You were obviously very drunk and it was totally unsafe for you to be left alone at night like this. Not only that but you were a hazard to yourself, tripping over your own feet. He was almost enraged.

“You look angry.” You said, blinking at him. You hadn’t seen this expression before and you could tell it wasn’t directed at you. However that wasn’t important, he looked incredibly attractive. “You’re cute when you’re angry. Cuter when you’re not angry though.” You added on, it was more of a personal thought that you didn’t entirely mean to air out. He softened at your words, realizing that getting upset about this in front of you while you’re in your drunken state probably isn’t the best idea. Not only that, but you called him cute and that took some processing in his mind.

“Jaehyun.” You started, getting his attention again. He leaned over the counter and placed his face close to yours. He thought your voice sounded so pouty and that coupled with your expression, the cutest drunk he had ever seen and he didn’t even like drunk people. “What is it cutie?” He asked and you could feel yourself flush even more than you already were from the alcohol. “I think I’m in love with you… Wait, no. I know I’m in love with you.” You admitted, a yawn following your sudden confession. The confession made Jaehyun’s heart stop for a moment. He had been waiting on this moment since he moved to town and well he was getting it, but you were drunk. Maybe this wasn’t even the way you were actually feeling and well he was almost 100% sure that you wouldn’t remember this tomorrow.

“I’m tired.” You filled the silence, getting out of your chair only to stumble again. It was so odd, your legs didn’t feel like they were yours. “I should get home.” You added once more, shaking in the process. Exhaustion hit you like an anvil. He barely had the chance to catch as you stumbled once more, looking at your tired eyes. “Okay, you’re not safe to be home alone. Just stay here tonight, I’ll sleep easier knowing you’re safe and not choking in your sleep.” He said, holding you close as you yawned. “Sounds good.”

You couldn’t remember much when you woke up the next morning, all you knew was that you had a splitting headache and you weren’t home. Your outfit from the night before was still on your body and you were in a bed that most definitely wasn’t yours. Stretching out, you caught a whiff of the scent and sighed. It smelled so good, like coffee and fresh bread almost. It was a smell you’d only ever smelt on one person… Jaehyun.

That was when the realization hit you, in your drunken state you had decided to confess. The pure result of a bad date and a lot of alcohol. Part of you hoped that you didn’t actually say it, that you didn’t get the words out or make a fool of yourself in general. Sitting up in bed, you caught glimpse of the mirror by the wall and the way you looked. Considering you expected the worst, what you saw actually wasn’t too bad. Makeup was a little smudged and your hair a little messy, but given the circumstances it was alright.

Jaehyun’s apartment was new territory for you, though you knew he had a small apartment above the diner. It was always off limits, not literally but it felt like it. It have everything to do with the state of your relationship and while being behind the counter of the diner felt fine, being in his apartment felt like crossing a line.

It hadn’t quite dawned on you that the diner was open and that he would be there as well when you wandered down the stairs and out the door. Not until you had about 20 customers staring at you, all people from in town who loved to talk. You realized how this looked, coming down the stairs of Jaehyun’s apartment in last nights clothes and makeup. To say you were embarrassed was an understatement. Glancing over to Jaehyun, he gave you a a comforting smile. He realized how this looked and could tell you were panicked but didn’t quite know what to say. He wanted to talk to you about the night before, about the things you said but now was not the right time. Not with this much of an audience. You had given them enough to talk about just by walking in. “Uh, I’ll talk to you later.” You said softly, rushing out of the diner. You simply wanted to go home, shower and maybe cry out of embarrassment for a moment.

Jaehyun felt like he was short circuiting. He simply wanted to kick everyone out and talk to you. Not to mention with the way everyone was staring at him as he watched you leave, kicking them all out would have most definitely felt cathartic. “What are you all staring at?” He asked, snapping everyone back to reality and to their previous conversations.

News spread quickly that you were spotted doing the walk of shame from his diner in the previous evenings’ clothes. While that didn’t bother you that much, you still did your best to avoid the diner at all costs. You knew yourself well enough to know you probably drunkenly confessed to Jaehyun that night at and you simply couldn’t face him. No matter how often you caught him watching you walk past the diner, eyes following you like a puppy dog. You simply couldn’t bring yourself to go in. It wasn’t his fault at all and maybe you should have told him that but, you were just scared.

Anytime Jaehyun heard anyone make a comment about you or about that morning, he shut them down. Let them know that it wasn’t what it seemed. Though he did start thinking that you didn’t mean what you said that night or maybe you did, he didn’t know anymore. He was simply confused.

Your shift at work was like any other day. A bookstore in a small town doesn’t necessarily get very busy in this day and age, so you had it quite easy most of the time. Only you could feel trouble brewing when the two ladies sauntered in. They weren’t looking for books, that you could most definitely tell. However they played the part well enough, walking through the aisles and pretending to care about the backs of the books they were reading only to steal glances of you.

“How can I help you ladies?” You asked as they walked up to the counter, not one book in hand. “Dear, enlighten us would you.” Mrs. Yang started and you could feel yourself get nervous. “What happened between you and Jaehyun?” Mrs. Park finished the question and you let out a sigh. “I thought the town drew conclusions on their own.” You remarked, looking away and pretending to look something up on the computer. You didn’t care for their sudden regard for the actual situation, they didn’t seem to care when spreading rumors not a few days prior. “Jaehyun keeps claiming that isn’t the truth. We’re just simply curious.” One of them mentioned and you felt yourself look down to the ground. He was defending you all while you were ignoring him, it made you feel awful.

“Not only that but he’s been awfully grouchy since the whole thing. Haven’t seen him smile in a week!” Now you simply felt worse, he didn’t deserve this. You were the one who messed up and well, maybe it was time to own up to the situation. “He’s telling the truth, nothing happened. He was being a gentleman when I made a mistake, that’s all.” You admitted, finally looking the two gossips in the eyes. They seemed almost disappointed with the truth and sighed before bidding their goodbyes. Their words made you feel awful and you made the choice to see him that evening, talk things through. You just had to wait until the diner was closed, you didn’t need an audience again.

The lights were still on yet the closed sign was hanging from the door as you stood in front of the diner. Your heart was absolutely racing and you were so incredibly nervous, but you knocked anyways. You thought this approach would have been better than barging in like the last time.

Jaehyun truly hadn’t expected to see your face, especially not so late on a day that he knew you worked. He also didn’t expect for you to knock as you normally let yourself in. This visit was different and after the week he had without you, he could sense that. Though he had to keep himself from smiling because he really missed you, he opened the door slowly.

“Hey.” Your voice was soft, hardly more than a whisper. “Hey.” He said in return, tone mimicking yours. You still stood just outside, toying with the fabric of your dress and trying to bring yourself to look at him. “Do you want to come in?” He added on, taking note of just how hard this seemingly was for you… maybe you really weren’t in love with him after all. “Please.” You smiled softly, walking into the diner. It truly was homey and you felt a little more at ease than before.

“I’m really sorry that I iced you out this week.” You just said it, knowing it would be harder the longer you waited. He was about arm’s length away from you, looking at you with those comforting brown eyes. “I just needed to think about some things.” You added, looking back to the ground while fiddling with your dress again. He couldn’t help but notice just how pretty you looked again, thinking about the first time you came into the diner.

“I know that the things people were saying probably didn’t help.” Jaehyun remarked, taking a step closer to you. He knew you so well for being simply a stranger not a few months earlier. “Yeah, definitely not.” You laughed slightly, trying to ease the tension though it was thick enough to cut with a knife. “I tried my best to set the record straight but people here just-“ He stopped halfway through his sentence as you finally made direct eye contact with him. Your eyes looked sparkly, completely enticing and it just made him notice the tension in the room even more. “I heard. Thank you for that.” You wanted to reach out and touch him, hold his hand but you simply gripped your dress harder. Jaehyun looked good, like always and with this tension you were having a hard time staying grounded.

“Why is this so awkward.” Jaehyun laughed, eyes darting around the room for a moment so he could gather himself. If this situation was purely up to him, you would be sat on the diner counter already, kissing him. “Maybe it’s because I drunkenly told you I’m in love with you earlier this week.” You responded, finally bringing up the topic at hand. “About all of that, it was stupid of me to barge in here like that. Let alone while being drunk.” You started, taking a deep breath in between words. “I shouldn’t drink if I can’t control my emotions and place responsibility on you like that to take care of me. I’m sorry.” You apologized and swallowed the lump in your throat. His stare was starting to make you nervous and you could feel your heartrate pick up again.

“Did you mean it though?” Jaehyun asked, needing clarification on the one thing he was concerned about. “Mean what?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow. Jaehyun scoffed for a moment, looking to the ground before taking another step in your direction. “Did you mean it…” Jaehyun started, hand reaching out to hold your hand that was toying with your dress. “When you said you were in love with me?” He finished, thumb stroking over your hand. He was going all in if you said yes, he wasn’t going to wait anymore. It was something he should have done the first time you walked into the diner. Your heart was pounding and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him anymore.

His other hand came up to your chin, making you look at him gently. There was no escaping this and you had to answer. “I meant it.” You admitted and Jaehyun couldn’t help but crack a smile. The hand on your chin became a little stronger and you felt Jaehyun’s face get closer to yours. His breath fanned over your lips and you allowed your free hand to move to his shirt. You grabbed it and pulled him even closer. The tension in the room wasn’t anger or sadness, it was sexual and you realized this was something that had been brewing for a long time.

Jaehyun pressed his lips against yours and you let out a small hum. His lips were soft and you could taste the remnants of coffee. It didn’t feel out of the ordinary, his kiss was as comforting as his diner and it left your head spinning for a moment as he pulled away. Your hand was still holding his shirt and you didn’t want to let him go. He took this as a sign and pushed you back slightly, following you until you were backed into a table.

His lips were way rougher than the first kiss but that was exactly what you wanted, feeling his tongue swipe over your lips. Jaehyun’s hands moved down your body to rest at your waist and lifted you quickly on to the table top. A small squeal escaped your lips in surprise and you found yourself smiling into the kiss even more, enjoying the feeling of him taking charge like that and the way his hands traced over your figure. It was simply something so intimate, something you hadn’t quite experienced with anyone else. That was why you were so eager as he stood in between your legs, you wanted to feel more of it, more of him. Your hands tugged at his shirt as you kissed, a little signal showing just how far you were wanting to take things and also showing that you had totally forgotten you were in a semi-public location.

“Wait, wait.” Jaehyun mumbled, pulling away from your lips with heavy breaths. Everything about the way you looked in that moment made him want to jump you but the fact that the lights were still on in the diner, in a town that loved to gossip made him stop. “We should go upstairs.” He was looking at you with dark eyes, you watched as they moved over your body. From your eyes, to your swollen lips, down to the slight bit of cleavage your dress provided and then further to your legs. “Yeah we definitely should.” You nodded, if he was going to be looking at you like that you wanted it to be in private.

“You remember the upstairs apartment?” Jaehyun asked and you nodded. “Go upstairs, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right up, still need to lock up down here.” Jaehyun gestured and you agreed, walking away and to the door. “For the love of God, don’t take your time.” You commented because if he was going to make you wait, you would have to come up with a way to get back at him. You could hear his laugh as you ran up the stairs to his apartment.

You wanted to surprise him, pulling your shoes off and jacket when you reached his room. You wanted to make yourself ‘’comfortable” though the zipper of your dress had other ideas. “Come on.” You grumbled, trying to reach it and questioning how you even pulled it on earlier. “Pleaseeee.”You whined, tugging at the useless piece of metal. This was frustrating to no-end, until you heard Jaehyun walk in. “You told me not to take my time, but it seems your struggling here. I can always come back in a few minutes.” You let out a sigh at his words, even though there was a shift in the relationship the jokes were the same. He was amused, while this might have been a mood killer for some this just was the icing on top of the cake for him.

“This was my job anyways.” Jaehyun commented, pulling you close again. “Though I have to say, this thing is really stuck.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, feeling him tug at the fabric for a second before finally getting it loose. His face came back up to yours, trying to hold back his laughter at how this situation turned from sexy to slightly silly so quickly.

“The mood changed so quickly.” He remarked, kissing your lips softly while cupping your face. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled. He was used to sex having to be sexy and sultry, but that was with women he didn’t quite feel the same emotions for as you. It was different, especially as he watched you step out of your dress and laughing. “Don’t be sorry…” You paused, cupping his face now. You were now in your bra and underwear, feeling strangely confident. “This is perfect.” You added on and Jaehyun shook his head slightly with a large grin.

Before you could count his hands were on your waist and you were lifted onto the bed with a squeal. “I swear you’re perfect.” Jaehyun grumbled and kissed down the side of your neck. You were still smiling as he kissed down your skin, sucking marks on his wake. He nipped over the skin, all the way down to the edge of your bra. His hands moving up from your waist and groped at your chest through your bra. Jaehyun was absolutely obsessed with the way you felt under him, the way your skin felt under his touch and the way you responded to him.

You grabbed at his shirt, finally lifting it off of him and having him throw it across the room. His body was absolutely perfect, not that you hadn’t seen it before. Like the time you knocked on his small apartment door to ask him something and he answered, not wearing much. Just feeling it against you was a new sensation entirely. Your pointer finger traced over his abs before you pulled your lips away from his again. He looked at you in confusion as you got off the bed and sank to your knees. You couldn’t help it, the feeling of his body against yours was making you want to spoil him. Not only that but you also still felt apologetic towards him and you truly couldn’t think of a better way to get rid of your guilt.

“Getting on your knees without me having to ask? I might have to keep you.” Jaehyun leaned forward and grabbed your hair into a makeshift ponytail after sitting on the edge of the bed. You blinked up at him as he gripped your hair, smiling deviously. “You should see yourself.” He said, turning your head to the side slightly so you could catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You’d never looked this way for any man before, lips all puffy, hair disheveled and marks up and down your neck. His hand was still holding your hair as your eyes met in the mirror, watching how he looked at you. He had a hint of mischief in his eyes, tugging at your hair lightly to make you hum.

After that you made quick work of his jeans, unbuttoning them and pulling them down. You absolutely didn’t care about the way they pooled at his ankles, you just wanted to feel him in your mouth. His cock sprung from his boxers, tip almost angry and red in anticipation. Jaehyun had to stop himself from bouncing his leg in anticipation, seeing your tongue dart out at the sight of his cock. You gently reached out and grabbed it before taking him into your mouth. Slowly you suck around the tip, your tongue swirling over the slit only to take him in further. Your tongue flattened over the underside of his cock, almost gagging as he hit the back of your throat. Your hand was steady at the base of his cock and you started bobbing your head, looking up at him in the process.

Jaehyun continued holding your hair, watching your head bob as he tried to keep his hips still. Hissing as your tongue rolled against him. “Damn.” He groaned the second your eyes made contact with his and that was nearly enough for him. He pulled your hair, pulling your lips off of him and taking a deep breath. He was going to cum with you, not like this.

“Stand up.” He requested, tone demanding and making your pussy gush. This dominating tone from him was new, considering his day to day nature and you loved it. You could find out what would happen if you didn’t listen later, as of now though you stood up in front of him. His hands worked swiftly, tugging your underwear down and unclasped your bra swiftly. “Get on the bed and face the mirror for me, darling.” He mumbled, leaning forward to give the valley between your boobs a quick kiss. His words were dominating yet his actions were sweet, showing just how much he had anticipated this moment and well like you, he just wanted to taste you.

You faced yourself in the mirror, on your hands and knees. Watching as Jaehyun got behind you and leaned down. You didn’t quite have the chance to brace yourself as you felt his nose against your heat. His tongue lapping at your core suddenly and his hands holding your hips to stabilize you. Your eyes went wide at the feeling and your jaw slack. “Oh fuck.” You mumbled, discovering just why Jaehyun had that mirror placed there. His tongue prodded at your clit, flicking it gently before licking your core aggressively. He was eating you like a starved man, the soft squelching of your juices being audible in unison with your moans.

He pulled away for a moment and watched as your wetness dripped down your thigh, pussy clenching around nothing. It was then that he caught glimpse of your expression, thinking you looked as sweet as you tasted. He latched onto your clit again and felt you shudder against him, letting out a cry that had him rutting against the bed. “God, Jaehyun, I’m going to cum.” You cried out, feeling that coil tighten at his sudden attack. Your arms gave in, leaving only your ass in the air as he continued eating you out from behind.

With that he pulled away, not wanting you there quite yet and letting out a chuckle at your whimper. “I’m sorry darling, not yet.” He straightened out his back, looking at your expression and arch of your back in the mirror. You were desperate and it was written on your face, looking at him through the mirror. Jaehyun lined up his cock to your entrance, teasing your clit first just to make you shiver. “Please don’t tease. We’ve waited long enough for this, haven’t we?” You whined, pushing yourself back up on your hands. Glancing back at him, you could see that mischievous glint in his eyes again and his hand moved up your back. He held your jaw and leaned forward, kissing you roughly only to slowly push into you.

You choked back a moan by biting his lip, making him rut his hips in response and fill you fully. “Fuck.” He hissed and you turned your head to the mirror again, mouth agape. There was no biting back the moans, they were flowing freely and bouncing off the walls. Jaehyun hands were gripping your hips and he was rolling his hips into you slowly at first. He wanted to see your every expression, watching your face contort with every teasing thrust. It wasn’t until his hand moved down your spine again and found it’s way to your hair, that his pace picked up. Now fucking you harder, the sound of skin slapping filling the room together with your moans.

Your arms gave out again, the force of his thrusts practically knocking the air out of you. Each thrust made you feel so ridiculously full that it had your cunt pulsating. You felt so desperate and your whines were letting him know. Jaehyun’s expression in the mirror was making it all worse. His eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched and eyes focused on the way your pussy was taking him in. Everything about this was a dream, to both of you.

A sharp yank to your hair made you moan out and sit up on your knees. Nothing about Jaehyun pace slowed, his arm reaching around to hold your waist and put his lips by your ear. This position was much more compromising in the mirror, showing your bare body in full as it was being wrecked by him. It had the coil in your tummy tightening again.

“Jaehyun…” Your voice trailed off, too close to form coherent words. He grinned and watched your eyes fall shut before allowing his fingers to toy with your clit. “You’re so close aren’t you?” He asked, simply getting a whimper in return. His fingers moved quicker and his pace picked up, chasing his own high rapidly. “Look at yourself, look at how good you look cumming on my cock.” Never in a million years did you expect that he would talk like this during sex, but it was those words that left your legs shaking and chanting his name like a prayer. You watched your own face contort in the mirror before finding yourself falling onto the mattress again. He pulled out of you, jerking himself off to cum on your lower back.

You were too overwhelmed to care, body still shaking in aftershock and pussy clenching around nothing at the sound of his groans. Jaehyun looked into the mirror at your face, the tired bliss spreading over your features as you rested on the sheets. He looked at himself as his body was in a similar state to yours: chest heaving, eyes hooded and skin lightly coated in sweat. It was then that a comfortable silence filled the room.

You found yourself leaving the bed first, wanting to clean the mess from between your legs and back for a moment. Your reflection caught you off guard from up close in the bathroom. You looked absolutely fucked out, lips swolled and chest littered with marks. It made you feel like a giddy teenager as you cleaned yourself up, finding one of his flannels hanging from the back of the bathroom door to slip on.

“Look at you.” Jaehyun commented as you exited the bathroom. He had moved under the sheets leaving a small spot for you to cuddle into him. “Look at you.” You retorted, crawling under the sheets next to him. His arms instantly wrapped around you, pulling the sleeve of the flannels down slightly so that he could kiss the skin gently. “Mrs. Park and Mrs. Yang are going to have a field day.” He mumbled into your skin, vibrations tickling you slightly. You laughed and pictured the two gossips expressions for a moment. “They’re going to take the credit.” You told him and he looked up from the side of your neck. “They better not, I like to believe I had a major part in all of this.” You rolled your eyes before smiling.

“Long time coming, huh?” Jaehyun’s expression was goofy, eyes twinkling as he looked at you. He felt like a 15 year old boy, looking at his ultimate celebrity crush. He felt like he had won the lottery. “Definitely.” You responded and pressed your forehead to his. “I think I’ll leave the diner closed tomorrow, take you on a date. If you’ll have me?” Jaehyun’s words made your cheeks heat up. Something about just having sex with a person and getting shy when they asked you out afterwards was comical to you, but you nodded anyways. “You said earlier, you’d have to keep me.” You remarked and he nodded.

“Where did that attitude earlier come from anyways?” You laughed and wrapped your arms around his neck. Jaehyun shook his head, feeling flustered before trying to get out of your grasp. “You didn’t like it?” He asked, still laughing, now looking at the ceiling. You turned and rested your head on his chest. “No, no I liked it. Just wasn’t expecting it.” You smiled now tracing shapes over his skin. You just felt comfortable, never had you felt this comfortable with someone in a moment like this. Like you had known him your whole life. You went to sleep shortly after with a smile on your face, not questioning what you two were anymore.

Not 3 days later you wandered into the diner, dodging exiting customers as they wandered out. It was quite busy, the lunch rush hour being at full swing. You spotted Mrs. Yang and Mrs. Park sitting in the corner and sipping tea, Johnny from the hardware store enjoying a sandwich at the counter, along with a few other locals and Jaehyun holding 2 plates and the phones in the crook of his neck. He raised a brow to greet you, continuing his conversation as you slipped behind the counter and tried to ignore the prying eyes of the customers. There was one way to clear the air in the diner, so you bit the bullet and pecked his lips quickly as you passed on your way to the coffee machine. His eyes raised in response and you could’ve sworn for a moment the diner went quiet for a moment.

“Yeah, I’ll call you back.” He hung up, placing the plates on the diner to watch you pour yourself a cup of coffee. “Hello to you too.” His voice was soft, a smile playing on his lips as you sipped from your cup. It felt like you two were the only ones in the room, which was most definitely not the case. “Hi.” You smiled in return and gestured for him to serve the 2 plates he had abandoned. As he returned he tutted slightly. “This is why you like me, huh? I’m the guy with the coffee.” He remarked, now also trying to ignore the prying eyes. He could hear the gossip already but fuck ‘em, it was truth, Jaehyun was head over heels for you and the whole town could know it for all he cared. Hell, the next town over could.

“You’re my guy with the coffee, there’s a difference.” You gestured for him to come closer, adrenaline coursing through your veins. You were experiencing a similar emotion, not caring about the gossip and also deciding that this was the best way to tell everyone.

Jaehyun wrapped an arm around your waist, kissing your forehead in the process before staring at the patrons. It didn’t take the two gossips anytime to scramble over. “You two made up?” Mrs. Yang asked and you both exchanged looks, stifling laughter. “I guess you could say that.” He said and gently squeezed your waist with his hand. “I guess so.” You added on, biting your cheek to stop from giggling like a school girl. The two women looked giddy, talking rapidly to each other with big smiles. You turned to Jaehyun and stroked his cheek gently, knowing the two weren’t paying attention anymore. “This was the best way to tell people.” He said and you nodded, thumb gently stroking his cheek. “The whole town will know by tomorrow.” You groaned sarcastically, the anxiety finally catching up with you. Jaehyun’s hands started tickling at your sides to make you laugh, that anxious feeling slipping away as quickly as it came. “I don’t care if everyone knows, I’ve been head over heels for ever since I met you and our little world here can know.” He confessed, leaning down and kissing your lips a little longer this time.

The two women watched the exchange as they fell silent, hearing Jaehyun’s sweet confession. This was truly what they wanted for you. While they might have gossiped a lot and played matchmaker within the town, it was because they wanted the best. Jaehyun seemed to be the best for you, especially after hearing those words. They looked at each other before Mrs. Park spoke up. “This was because of us.” Mrs. Yang nodded, following her friends statement. “This was definitely because of us.”

a/n: I hope you guys liked this. I want to apologize again for being gone for so long without explanation and prolonging the posting of this.

Let me know what you guys think ♥

#jaehyun #jaehyun smut #nct smut #nct reaction #nct 127 #nct

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curryalley · 2 years

Text

Browsing old bits and bobs of writing since my gooogle docs is approaching storage limit. Stumbled back upon a crossover of the two best things to come out of fictional Connecticut towns.

[CLOSE UP on LORELAI, a resident of STARS HOLLOW, CONNECTICUT and her teenage daughter, RORY, as they open the door to LUKE’S DINER.]

LORELAI: Whoa.

RORY: Is there a Girl Scout convention in town and nobody told us?

LORELAI: A jamboree?

RORY: What?

LORELAI: A jamboree. Scouts have jamborees.

RORY: Boy Scouts have jamborees.

LORELAI: Girl Scouts can’t have jamborees? Why should only boys get jamborees? Girls can have jamborees if they want to have jamborees.

RORY: Sing it, Sister Anthony.

[The camera pulls away to reveal LUKE’S DINER bustling with half a dozen pre-teen girls and a dozen children of varying ages. LUKE is standing at a table, impatiently tapping his pen against the notepad in his hand.]

LUKE: No. I don’t have anything with tofu.

DAWN: What about sprouts? Or carob?

[DAWN has long blond hair. She is wearing a man’s dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, maroon cotton pants printed with tiny flowers and a braided hemp belt.]

LUKE: No.

DAWN: You know, you should really think about expanding your menu to include healthier selections. You’re not going to get any younger and you really ought to consider your cholesterol. Trans fat kills.

LUKE: This is a diner! I serve cheeseburgers in my diner! Maybe not everybody thinks that tofu is a delicious meat substitute. Did you ever think of that? Some people like going to a diner and ordering cheeseburgers because that’s what you do in a diner! You order cheeseburgers and pay for them so I can have the money to order more cheeseburgers to sell to other people so I have money to pay my bills every month. Which you wouldn’t know about because you are a child!

DAWN: But!

LUKE: No!

CLAUDIA: Can I have M&Ms in my pancakes?

[CLAUDIA is Asian-American. She is wearing purple leggings, a turquoise T-shirt with a hand painted pair of eyes with long black lashes on the front. Her earrings are big red lips and she’s braided silver ribbon though her black hair.]

LUKE: No! Look, when you’re ready to order off the menu, let me know.

[LUKE returns behind the counter. LORELAI and RORY follow him and LUKE pours them large cups of coffee.]

LORELAI: So what’s with the jamboree?

LUKE: Boy Scouts have jamborees.

RORY: Why are there so many kids in here?

LUKE: I don’t know. They’re just sitting around giggling about how they don’t want anchovies on their pizza and talking about how dibbly everything is. Dibbly’s not even a word! And now I have to go see if I can make a sprout burger with sweet potato fries! Ask the one in the visor, she seems to do most of the talking. Find out what they want and get them out of my diner.

[LORELAI and RORY turn around and face the chattering group of girls.]

LORELAI: Here for the jamboree?

RORY: You’re still on the jamboree?

LORELAI: How often do you get to say the word jamboree? Hey, maybe we can get Taylor to throw a jamboree in the square. That’d be fun, huh? Or maybe we could get a cat and name him Jamboree. We could dress him in a little Boy Scout uniform and feed him tuna fish and train him to come running when we call, “Here, Jamboree!”

RORY: Mom.

LORELAI: Okay. I’m done. What brings you into town, girls?

[At the head of the table, KRISTY stands. She is wearing a plain white turtleneck, jeans and a red visor.]

KRISTY: It all started one day when my stepfather, millionaire Watson Brewer, said he wanted to go antiquing in Stars Hollow. A lot of other Stoneybrook parents were interested in going too, but what about their kids? Then I had a great idea! I’m kind of known for them ever since I invented the Baby-Sitters Club. This was a job for the BSC!

LORELAI [to LUKE]: You weren’t kidding, she really does do most of the talking. If even I think you need to take a breath, maybe you need to slow down there, Seabiscuit.

KRISTY: While the parents are out shopping, we members of the Baby-Sitters Club would take the kids around town. Star’s Hollow is very historical and educational.

RORY: So you just offered to take a bunch of kids around a town you’ve never been to and the parents don’t even care? How old are you?

KRISTY: We’re thirteen and in eighth grade at Stoneybrook Middle School.

RORY: Parents let their kids wander around a strange town with only a bunch of thirteen-year-olds? Why would they do that?

KRISTY: Because we’re baby-sitters and we can handle anything! Don’t you baby-sit?

RORY: Me? Baby-sit? I can’t even keep a goldfish alive.

LORELAI: It’s true; she can’t.

RORY: Poor fish.

LORELAI: He was gone too soon.

KRISTY: But how old are you?

RORY: Sixteen.

[CLOSE-UP on STACEY. She has permed blond hair and is wearing purple eyeshadow, white pants with ‘I Love NY’ printed all over them and a black sweater with a silver squiggle pin. Her earrings are two red apples.]

STACEY: You’re sixteen? Do you know any boys?

CLAUDIA: Or parties with boys?

STACEY: Or any boys that want to have a party?

RORY: No! I’m not going to bring a bunch of thirteen-year-olds to a party with high school boys who they don’t know in a town they’ve never been to. That’s insane.

KRISTY: They’re just boy crazy. And Stacey’s diabetic.

STACEY: I am diabetic. That means my body can’t process sugar so I have to watch what I eat and give myself shots.

LORELAI: We know what diabetic means, hon.

STACEY: But don’t worry, you can’t catch it or anything.

LORELAI: We know. Do you always just announce that to people when you first meet them?

STACEY: Of course! Doesn’t everyone share information to make themselves easily identifiable as soon as possible?

MARY ANNE: I’m shy.

[MARY ANNE has short brown hair and is dressed in black tights, a blue and green plaid skirt with a blue sweater. Her earrings are miniatures of the Eiffel Tower.]

KRISTY: Are you sure you don’t want to baby-sit? I’ve been thinking there’s a lot of opportunity to expand the Baby-Sitters Club to new locations.

[CUT TO KIRK, Stars Hollow’s odd-job man. The plate in front of him is empty, he has been sitting there for some time.]

KIRK: You should really consider. I’m looking into a series of Baby-Sitters Club franchises.

LORELAI: Kirk? You’re going to be a baby-sitter?

KIRK: You sound surprised. Why do you sound surprised? I’m a highly respected dog-walker in this town. Kids can’t be much different and this way I don’t have to hit anyone with a rolled up newspaper.

LUKE: No one in their right mind would leave their kids with you, Kirk.

KIRK: I have references.

[KIRK rises and walks over to KRISTY.]

KIRK: Here’s my card. Nice visor, by the way.

[KIRK leaves the diner.]

KRISTY: Kirk: Dog walker, independent film maker, communications professional. Huh. Okay BSCers! Grab your charges and your Kid Kits! Time to explore historic Stars Hollow. And let’s try to get though a trip without having to solve a mystery about jewel thieves or a haunted painting or long lost loves for once, okay? Move out!

LUKE: But you didn’t order anything! You took up all my tables and you didn’t order anything!

KRISTY: That’s okay. We’re going to have ice cream at the place next door later.

[With much shouting back and forth and clattering of chairs, the Baby-Sitters Club and the children they’re watching leave. LUKE, LORELAI and RORY stare at the now empty diner.]

LORELAI: Remind me never to go to Stoneybrook.

RORY: It’s weird there.

#baby sitters club #baby-sitters club #bsc #gilmore girls

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innytoes · 3 years

Note

please tell us about your new au 👉👈

OKAY SO @ot3tropetober has a prompt this year that reads: Crossover AU: Hardison pulls inspiration for their latest aliases from a published work of fiction. (It's very Supernatural of him.) (Yes, this is your blanket crossover permission.)

And my mind immediately went over all my fandoms for something that would actually make a good alias and settled on Gilmore Girls. Oh, that'll be fun and on brand for me, my brain went. I could do a little moodboard. No way this would spiral out of control.

For those who don't know, I have a 57k MCU/Gilmore Girls fusion AU that also started as a joke meme thing.

SO PICTURE THIS: Gilmore Girls AU where Parker and Hardison are both Lorelai, and Eliot is Luke. They got pregnant Way Too Early, there was weird pressure from all sides to Get Married, for Hardison to Take A Job At Archie's Company, etc.

So they run away, etc, etc. Nana isn't exactly thrilled at the living in sin part, but she's proud of Hardison for stepping up and being a good dad. Normal is what works for you, etc.

Fast forward and there's Parker and Hardison, living in Stars Hollow, running an inn together with their clumsy chef friend Peggy. Their super smart kid, Rory (Lorelai Leia instead of GG's Lorelai Leigh because Parker would accept the nerd reference but not as a first name), loves books and writing and also climbing things she shouldn't to take pretty pictures even though it gives her father a heart attack every time.

They drink too much coffee and go have breakfast every day at Eliot's, the diner in the center of town. Eliot has a soft spot a mile wide for Rory and also her two parents. Miss Patty tells him at least once a year to Get On That and he blusters about how they're already a couple and he's not getting in between them and also mind your own business Patty.

There’s the usual town shenanigans. Hardison helps create the paintings for the Festival of Living Art every year. Parker is always down to sow some chaos at the Town Meetings. They both flirt so shamelessly with Eliot that he’s pretty much the only person in town who doesn’t know those two want to get in his pants, bed, life.

But when Rory gets accepted into Chilton and they realize that no, she does not qualify for financial aid, they have to go back and beg Archie for help. He accepts, but on the condition that they show up for Friday Night Dinner every week.

Insert the usual Gilmore Girls shenanigans but Rory probably tasers a few more people (Parker is very proud).

Parker and Hardison compete in the Dance-A-Thon every year and always look snazzy. Parker always celebrates the first snow. Hardison is the one who helps paint Eliot’s diner, and the one who frantically asks Eliot to teach him how to fish because he has to go to some outdoor networking thing and who thought that was a good idea? Eliot? Eliot it’s not funny!

Eliot grumbles that too much coffee is unhealthy several times a week but then makes Rory a coffee cake for her birthday. He gives Parker and Hardison coupons for one afternoon to fix everything wrong in the house for their birthdays that they take full advantage of. He still helps move Rory’s mattress in and out and in of her dorm room seventeen million times because Hardison is useless and Parker keeps wanting to just burn it.

Miss Patty makes a killing on the 12 different running bets when they finally get together. There is probably a town wide party that Taylor makes up some excuse for so it isn’t too obvious.

#leverage #AUs are awesome #Gilmore Girls #terrible crossovers are my brand #none of this is going to fit into the small blurb I am going to make for the cute little ot3tropetober moodboard #ot3tropetober #does this Rory maybe taser Paris and/or punch Tristan? Yes probably

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athingthatwantsvirginia · 4 years

Text

A Truman Show Star

PART FORTY-ONE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: major discussions of parent death/death in general, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 5.5K

Summary: Ella goes to the little blue house for the last time.

Wringing her hands to keep herself from biting her nails off, Ella trudged up the front steps to Luke’s. Luckily, her old parking spot was open. It made her remember evenings when she’d come straight from visiting her aunt in New Britain. How safe the diner had always made her feel. A refuge from school and home alike. Her heart ached, traveling back into the past for just a moment. She couldn’t think of one second since her father’s death that she’d felt the least bit secure. Hopefully, Luke’s would help at least a little. But a strange, uneasy surreality flooded her as she entered the diner’s warmth. Life had gone on without her there. She noticed small changes to the place she had spent most of her youth in, slight differences in paint color, placement of certain mugs on the back display shelf, even new menus. At least the ‘No Cellphones’ sign hung behind the counter, as it always had. Ella doubted it would come down until Luke was long dead.

She didn’t take off her coat, and tried not to make eye contact with anyone for too long. Miss Patty was busy with her mid-morning tap class, Ella knew, and Babette wasn’t in sight at the diner either. Kirk must’ve been at work too. In fact, the diner was nearly empty, the transition between Friday breakfast and lunch creating a lull. She hopped up on a stool at the counter, right in front of the coffee machine. Luke was making a fresh pot, his back to her. He turned around once he had finished, coming to face her. For a moment, Ella felt a wave of relief at the sight of him. His baseball cap, his red flannel, his worn jeans. Luke hadn’t changed nearly at all over the course of her entire life. But then, an unwelcome thought about what she would do in the event of Luke’s death intruded her mind. Soon, she wouldn’t be able to think of anyone without picturing them six feet under.

Luke’s eyes widened at the sight of her. “Hey, Ella, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged, fighting the urge to have any bit of emotion cross her features. “I just came to get my stuff out of the old house. Fiona’s putting it on the market pretty soon. At least, she says she is.”

“Oh,” he said, nodding. “You want something?”

Ella shook her head after a moment of thought. “No, thanks. I just wanted to stop in, since I was on my way by.”

“Alright,” Luke said, averting his eyes.

“What?” she asked, eyebrows raised in suspicion.

Luke sighed. “Jess called me this morning.”

Swallowing dryly, Ella breathed in a deep breath. “Did he?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s not coming, is he?” she asked. At some point on the drive, it had occurred to her that he might follow her to Stars Hollow, continue the conversation. But just the idea of seeing the hurt in his eyes was enough to make her stomach do a flip. She wasn’t ready to keep talking. Maybe she never would be.

A joyless smirk appeared on Luke’s face. “He told me you might ask that. No. He’s still in Philly. He just wanted to let me know you were coming, make sure you got to town safe.”

“Okay,” she said, again forcing down all her feelings, her face solemn. “I take it that’s not all he told you?”

“No,” he said, as Ella raked an anxious hand through her hair and once again tried to keep her nails away from her teeth. After a shot pause, Luke continued, trying to catch her eyes once more: “Listen, kid, it’s all gonna be okay.”

“That’s convincing,” she said with a humorless chuckle.

Again, he sighed, weary and frustrated. He readjusted his cap on his head. Eyes doing a quick scan of the diner, he found the other customers, all at tables, not listening, enjoying their food. “I know you don’t scare easy. And I know how angry being scared must make you.”

She rolled her eyes, and all of a sudden she looked just like a teenager to Luke. A teenager with no mother and not much of anything to go home to. No matter how annoyed she could make him, he cared about her more than he cared about himself.

“Don’t listen if you don’t want to, but I’ve lived a lot longer than you, Ella,” he began, curmudgeonly as ever. “Believe me, I know what’s gonna be okay and what’s not gonna be okay. And you are gonna be okay.”

“Sure,” she said, dejected but trying her best to go along with his advice session.

Luke sighed again. “Look, my mom died when I was a kid too. And then, when my dad died, I went a little bit nuts too. I spent thousands of dollars I didn’t have to open this place up. But eventually, things felt normal again. And look at me now.”

“Oh yeah,” she said, mocking. “You’re the most well-adjusted person I know.”

“Shaddup,” he scolded her affectionately. “I have no doubt in my mind that this will pass, and you’ll go back to your life just fine.”

She only nodded half-heartedly.

“Ella?”

“Yeah?” she asked, finally venturing to face him fully again.

“Jess loves you. You’re the thing he loves most in the world, as far as I can tell,” Luke said.

She swallowed harshly, looking away from the momentary eye contact she had held with him. For a second, she was worried she would cry, but she bit the inside of her cheek and focused on the pain instead of the sadness. “I know, Luke.”

At that, he decided to let it go. He’d never been the best with emotional, soul-searching chats in the first place. He smiled a bit at her in a way he hoped was reassuring. “You wanna come over for dinner tonight? Lorelai’s gonna bite my head off if I got to see you and she didn’t.”

“No, I can’t just show up like this and then eat your food,” she said immediately.

Luke only scoffed, watching as a customer began approaching the register. “You know you’re not getting out of it, kid. Dinner’s at six.”

Before she could reply, he went over to ring up some townie Ella could barely recognize. She wanted to protest further, but knew she didn’t have the energy for an argument with Luke. And, she had to admit, she couldn’t think of anything better than seeing Lorelai. For some reason, she had a deep, sorrowful longing for the Gilmore woman’s warm hugs and kooky way of approaching life, at just the mention of her name.

“Fine,” she said, as Luke came back over to grab the coffee pot and do refills.

Luke gave an affirmative grunt in response. Apparently, the conversation was over, and neither Luke nor Ella were particularly upset about that. She slung her purse back over her shoulder, hugging her peacoat around her a bit tighter as she prepared to go outside. As she passed Luke on the way out, she stopped in her tracks for a moment.

“Hey Luke?” she said.

He looked up expectantly.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied, voice sincere, though his face barely softened a bit.

. . .

The sun would soon start to set. She looked out her old window, a view of tree branches and golden clouds. The sight made her remember the day Jess had taken her to the Met, showing up at her window. And other days, when he would climb in and her small room felt like the whole world, made special for just the two of them. Swallowing harshly, she sat down on the old carpet, back against the wall and one leg crossed over the other. On the right wall, she could still see the remnants of the last mural she’d painted through the fresh white color. The realtors hadn’t taken kindly to the artwork, Fiona had said, letting Ella in, showing her the room, and promptly leaving to go stay the night at her new apartment. She’d given Ella a kiss on the cheek before going. Ella had smiled, despite the lipstick stain she knew Fiona’s bright pink lips left. She was glad Fiona was getting away, wasn’t getting stuck. Not like Ella herself was. She focused on her breathing for a moment, and she could have sworn the room still had the faint scent of lavender candles.

She’d carved out more time than necessary to pack everything up. When she’d first moved to Lane’s, she’d only left her closet full, and a few odds and ends in the attic. Clothes she would be donating, childhood drawings she would be throwing away. The photo album was the only thing she was surprised to find. She’d forgotten about it. Maybe simply because she’d wanted to forget about it. It was the only thing she hadn’t managed to fit in the three cardboard boxes which now sat in the corner of the otherwise empty room. All she had left to do was load everything in her car and drive to Lorelai and Luke’s for dinner. And she would never see the little blue house again. No matter how much she’d disliked living there, she couldn’t shake the small part of her which wasn’t ready to lose it, let it go. Even if she’d known for a while the house would soon be gone.

Before she could think better of it, she grabbed the photo album from where it sat next to the boxes. She could have squeezed it in if she tried, but she didn’t want to risk breaking it. It was of her, her life. Her family. Her mother had made one for each of her children, adding to them all the time. A project left unfinished after her death. They’d gone away with the rest of her belongings. Had she not gone up into the attic, Ella probably would have assumed it had been thrown out years earlier. But there it was.

She ran the pad of her finger over the words on the front cover gingerly. Eleanor Mary Stevens. Heaving a deep sigh, she opened it and flicked through her early years. Her mother on the day Ella was born, long blonde hair and hazel eyes, a tiny baby in her arms. Another one, with her grandmother holding her as a baby. Ella felt for a chain around her neck without noticing. She flipped through a few more pages, and had to stop when she came across the photo of the whole family on her thirteenth birthday. The second to last before her mother’s death. They were all crowded around the small kitchen, the walls behind them painted a distinctive shade of peach. Ella’s smile was wide and naive, a big cake with candles about to be blown out sitting before her on the round table. The table where she and her father had sat for weeks, drinking, after her mother was gone. Her mother had blown up balloons, decorated a birthday banner, invited Julie and her family down for a small little surprise party. Thirteen was an important one, her mother had said. A whole new phase. It was Julie who had taken the picture, urging the five of them to squish together and fit in the frame. Ella’s mother looked arguably happier than Ella did. She’d always gone all out for birthdays.

But Ella’s mind didn’t take long to wander to the hours following the picture being taken. The dinner when her father had raised his voice over something she didn’t even remember. Ella had been feeling brave and confident, newly a teenager and high off the fanfare. She’d tried to interject, calm her father down, restore the light mood. She should have known better. He didn’t hit her, didn’t lay a hand on her. He’d yelled instead. Ella could tell, though, that he’d wanted to smack her. She could recognize how red his face got, and the particular way he spit out his words through gritted teeth. He was just so angry, for no reason at all. She hadn’t let him see her cry, of course. Later, after they’d all slunk to their rooms for the night in awkward, pained silence, she’d wept into her pillow. She never knew whether her mother had heard her, or whether she’d just sensed something was wrong. Ella could still hear the soft knock on her door, her mother’s gentle voice as she walked in.

. . .

“Hey, apple pie,” Sophia began, shuffling into Ella’s room and closing the door silently, carefully.

Turning on her side, facing away from her mother, Ella rolled her eyes at the nickname. She’d been stuck with it for years, since she was a little girl and was obsessed with helping her mother make holiday pies. She couldn’t help but be embarrassed by it, even when it was just the two of them. It made her feel like a kid in overalls, not a girl who was just about to start eighth grade. She was practically in high school, after all.

Frowning at her daughter’s silence, Sophia came over and sat on the edge of the bed. She stroked Ella’s messy hair. Ella tried to hide her sniffling, but was unsuccessful. Her mother was the only person she ever really openly cried in front of.

“Will you look at me?” Sophia asked, feigning a happy smile. They both knew the day hadn’t been exactly what either of them wanted.

Though she huffed in frustration, Ella sat up against the wall behind her bed, hugging her knees to her chest and wiping at her cheeks and nose. Sophia’s face softened at the sight of Ella, and she gave Ella’s knee a squeeze. Despite Sophia’s valiant attempts to get her to talk, Ella didn’t meet her eyes and remained quiet. She was struggling to stop her watery hiccups.

“You know he doesn’t mean it,” Sophia said.

Ella shook her head. Her voice was raw and unstable when she spoke. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No, you didn’t,” Sophia agreed.

“And it’s my birthday,” Ella continued, new tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

“I know,” Sophia sighed, willing herself to remain positive. It wasn’t the first time she and Ella had had this talk. “Look, Ella, he’s had a hard life. Sometimes...he just doesn’t know how to handle it when he feels angry. He loves you so, so much.”

Scoffing harshly, Ella finally turned to face her mother. “Sometimes it’s kinda hard to tell.”

Looking down, Sophia nodded. “He’s working on it. Baby steps, okay? I’m sorry about today. Tomorrow, I know he’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay,” Ella said tiredly. Weeping had made her feel exhausted. She just wanted to go to sleep.

“Hey, I’m serious. Perk up,” Sophia said sternly, though Ella knew she was just teasing.

Ella gave a weak smile. “Okay. I’m just tired. You’re right. Today wasn’t so bad, anyway.”

Sophia’s smile grew. “Yeah. It was nice to see Aunt Julie, right?”

Tugging anxiously at the ends of her hair, Ella nodded. “Yeah. Good surprise. Thanks for the party, mom.”

“Sure thing, apple pie,” Sophia said. She kissed Ella good night and rose from the bed. Before she left, she gave Ella’s shoulder one last squeeze. She pointed to the candles alight on Ella’s desk. “Tomorrow will be better. I know it will.”

Snorting a laugh, Ella let her smile become just a bit more genuine. She repeated the saying she had heard her mother utter about a thousand times as they gardened together. “Mmhm. Lavender is for luck.”

“That’s right,” Sophia said with a chuckle, shooting Ella an affectionate wink. Then, she padded back out into the hall and shut the door behind her.

. . .

Startling at the sharp ringing of her cell phone breaking her from her reverie, Ella gasped slightly. She snapped back to the present, shutting the photo album and placing it back atop the nearest box. She leaned back against the wall, frazzled, not bothering to look at the caller ID before answering. Breathing out slowly, she blinked back the shine from her eyes.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Ella,” Mabel greeted her through the line.

“Oh, hi,” Ella said dumbly, not expecting her call. Not that they didn’t talk on the phone regularly, because they did, but they also usually saw each other frequently. A cold call was a bit out of the ordinary.

“Are you feeling any better?” Mabel asked, and Ella could hear her take a quick inhale. She was probably smoking. Usually, Ella would accompany Mabel on her smoke breaks when they were hanging out, so she wouldn’t have to stand out in the cold all alone, even if Ella had been resisting the habit with relative success since the night after her father died. “I just wanted to check in. Jess said you were still too sick to come to dinner tonight.”

She cleared her throat. Apparently Jess hadn’t let them in on whatever was going on. “Oh, yeah. Thanks. I’m okay. Just still on the mend, I guess. How are things over there?”

Biting the inside of her cheek, she listened as Mabel told her about the fight Chris and Matthew had gotten into over where to order takeout from. Leo had also gotten involved, apparently. Mabel laughed as she spoke, and Ella missed the sound. It was not the first time she had considered what she would be giving up if she and Jess broke up. Chris and Matthew were his business partners. She would be the one who was iced out. And she couldn’t blame any of them for it. But she was suddenly homesick not for Stars Hollow, but for Philadelphia. She missed hours spent discussing Tennesee Williams on Mabel’s couch, or playing Leo’s keyboard while he messed around with some new song and asked for her help with an accompaniment, or mocking Chris about his sweater vest obsession and receiving some witty jab in return, or debating with Matthew about the best way to achieve world peace when drunk and hopeful. Another wave of regret and sadness washed over her. She had found a new family, despite her best efforts not to.

“Alright, I’m gonna head back inside. I’m freezing my ass off out here. Do you want me to bring you up and put you on speaker so you can say hi to the guys?” Mabel asked.

“Um, no, that’s okay. I’m probably just gonna head to bed. Will you…” she began, hesitating before she continued. “Will you tell Jess I said good night? I’ll probably be asleep when he gets back.”

She couldn’t remember the last time they had spent a night apart. And she couldn’t shake her worries about him, if he had a nightmare, if he had a panic attack. Would he call her? She knew she wouldn’t be able to get back in time to help him. Concern bubbled up in her throat, but she swallowed it down. At least he was with everyone at Truncheon, having takeout. Friday nights were takeout nights, after all.

“Will do. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” Mabel said.

Ella sighed out through her nose. “Yeah.”

“Okay, love you. Get better, please.”

Biting harder on her cheek, Ella tried to ignore the smile she could hear in Mabel’s voice. She could see exactly the expression Mabel had at that moment.

“I’ll try,” Ella said.

. . .

Sipping her water while Lorelai drank her red wine, Ella felt her skin buzzing with nerves. Since the remodel, the Gilmore house looked completely different to Ella. The changes hadn’t been especially big, just some new wallpaper here, a fresh decoration there. But she missed the little things only she and the other people who had been in the right place at the right time could remember. There were no longer pencil marks in the guest room’s closet wall from when Rory and Ella were practicing their signatures. Dreaming of the days when they would be signing autographs, Rory a famous journalist and Ella a famous artist. She missed the reddish stain on the kitchen ceiling from when Lorelai had dropped a bottle of ketchup at just the right angle and the condiment had spewed up in a stream. They were there in her memory, but gone in her reality. Everything had changed, and she had hardly noticed until it was all different. It was too late.

“So, Michel finally made the exterminator sign this contract he drew up, promising no mouse would ever be found on the premises again,” Lorelai said, finishing her saga of a mouse recently wreaking havoc at the Dragonfly.

Ella snorted halfheartedly. “Well, I hope for the exterminator’s sake it’s not legally binding.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve already mysteriously lost it,” Lorelai said with a conspiratorial wink.

Laughing along with her, Ella let her eyes linger on the red wine as Lorelai brought it to her lips. She didn’t want it, not really. But she knew how much better she would feel if she drank it, if she could get her thoughts to quiet down for just a little while. The thought made her grip the edge of the table momentarily, before it passed. She missed the feeling of Jess’s hand in hers, squeezing it, reassuring her. And then anger rose up inside her for missing him. Lorelai cleared her throat, breaking Ella from her daze.

“Oh, sorry,” Ella said, flushing with embarrassment.

Lorelai’s brows furrowed in concern and she sighed, preparing to finally address the elephant in the room. They hadn’t really discussed anything serious over dinner, keeping the conversation light while they ate some chicken made by Luke. He’d gone to bed a few minutes earlier, the night darkening past nine. The next day saw early morning deliveries and he had no intention of being sleep-deprived for a Saturday shift. Besides, Lorelai had formed the game plan before Ella even came over, after Luke told her why Ella was in Stars Hollow in the first place. She’d known the girl long enough, and through enough, to have an inkling of how she dealt with things.

“Sweetie?” Lorelai said.

Ella hummed, tilting her head at Lorelai in askance.

“What’s been going on with you?” Lorelai asked earnestly, a sympathetic glint in her sparkling blue eyes.

Chewing on her bottom lip for a moment, Ella looked down into her water. Then, she looked back up with tears stinging her eyes. And her words came out in a husky, rough whisper. “I don’t know.”

Lorelai nodded. “That’s okay, Ella. But you can’t ignore this. I know you want to, but I just don’t think it’s gonna work this time.”

“Why not? It’s worked so well in the past,” Ella said with a sardonic laugh, sniffing and trying to blink back her tears. She willed herself not to cry in front of Lorelai. She would not be a woman in her mid-twenties crying over a boy with her friend’s mother. Not even if the boy was the love of her life.

“But has it?” Lorelai asked doubtfully.

Taking in a deep breath, Ella swallowed thickly. “I just...I don’t want to lose him.”

“If you break up with him, I’m pretty sure you’ll lose him, sweetie,” Lorelai said, her tone hushed with gravity.

“Well, obviously, I know, but…if I have to lose him, then at least it’ll be on my own terms,” Ella continued, feeling squirmy and embarrassed speaking to Lorelai so openly. She had confided in Lorelai in her teen years, but for so long Jess had been the only one to hear about the inner workings of her mind.

Lorelai nodded, thinking.

“I’m just...I’m so fucking mad,” Ella admitted, shaking her head. She scoffed at herself, at how childish her own words sounded.

“Why?” Lorelai asked simply.

“Because when my mom died, it just ruined...it ruined everything. It killed my dad, it killed my brothers. She...it ruined everything,” Ella said.

Frustration brewed in her gut as she spoke. She didn’t want to be mad at her mother. It wasn’t her fault she had a heart condition. It wasn’t her fault she died. But, for whatever reason, Ella couldn’t help the sick rage in her stomach. If her mother hadn’t died, her father wouldn’t have started drinking again, maybe. And then he wouldn’t have crashed his car. And she wouldn’t have felt so terrified about Jess. She wouldn’t be so utterly exhausted, so drained from the grief. And it was easier to be mad at her mother than at the whole world.

“But it didn’t kill them,” Lorelai insisted. “And it didn’t kill you. You’re allowed to be happy, Ella. You are.”

Bottom lip trembling, Ella looked away from Lorelai. “No.”

Lorelai sighed heavily, hoping to make her see. “Not everything in your life is going to be a beginning and an end. You deserve a middle. Let yourself have a middle.”

Ella blew out a shaky breath, but didn’t speak.

“You told me at Thanksgiving that you had everything you wanted. And I saw it. I saw you there with Jess, with your art. You can have that. Don’t stop yourself from having it because you’re scared and you don’t think you deserve it.”

Ella’s stomach did a flip and she fiddled with her hair to keep herself from crying. Somehow, Lorelai had always been able to get to the root of her problems, to see things as they were. Maybe it was because both of them had grown up earlier than other people. Biting at her cheek, Ella let her mind drift back to Jess, to the way he made her feel. She had been in love with him for so long, she didn’t remember what it felt like not to be. To not instantly feel at home when she heard his voice, to not relax at his touch, to not feel her heart fluttering each time he smiled at her, like she was still sixteen.

Sixteen. She’d been mixed up then as she was now. And she had gotten herself through it on her own, but she would have been lying if she said Jess didn’t help. Jess showed her what it was to live with intensity again, with passion. To let herself feel the deepest things and not be afraid. Her mind wandered back to her walk over to the Gilmore house a few hours earlier, as the January sun was setting. The air was freezing, but it felt only right to walk, since she’d just been inside the little blue house for probably the last time. For old time’s sake. She’d left her key on the kitchen counter. She didn’t know the next time she would be back in Stars Hollow. She wanted to say goodbye to the town, in case she didn’t get to later. Passing over the bridge, she’d spotted two red cardinals flying around in the dusky light of the evening. One was chasing the other, and then they would switch. A lively dance. They were so vivid against the dull blanket of winter. They reminded her of the way she was with Jess, the way they were together.

Sniffing again, Ella nodded. She locked eyes with Lorelai, sincere. “Okay.”

Lorelai let a soft smile across her lips, and pressed a kiss to the top of Ella’s head as they said goodnight.

. . .

Driving so early in the morning, with Stevie Nicks on the radio, made her feel like she should be smoking a cigarette. Usually, it would take Ella less than four hours to make it back to Philly from Stars Hollow. But the frigid ice made the roads slick, and she was forced to go much slower than normal. Her lips were bluish with cold as she bit at her nails, the cloudy sky lightening to a murky pink. It was half past five and her eyes were heavy, but her body was wired with energy. After her chat with Lorelai, Ella had made a decent effort to actually get a good night’s sleep. She just couldn’t get Lorelai’s words out of her head, and her thoughts of Jess. She’d started up her Station Wagon just a little after midnight.

A middle was something she hadn’t considered. Truly, she hadn’t. She felt so silly. But it hadn’t occurred to her that she and Jess were just beginning. Their middle was coming. Maybe sooner than she had realized. For so long, she had been expecting the worst, even when she wasn’t. It was always there, in the back of her mind, whispering at her not to let her guard down, not to get comfortable. Not to feel love. Ella knew she couldn’t change overnight, and she felt like she was going to throw up just thinking about facing her fears. But Jess was right, as much as she hated to admit it. If she worked hard enough, she could feel better. She knew she could.

So, there was a scribbled note left on Lorelai and Luke’s fridge and she sat bleary-eyed in her driver’s seat. As she pulled up in front of the apartment building, small flurries began to fly down on her windshield, glistening in the muddled sunlight. She trudged up the stairs, trying to stay quiet in her dirty snow boots. But her feet seemed leaden in her exhaustion and she felt bad for her neighbors. She bit at the insides of her cheeks as she ascended the stairs with her suitcase in hand. Tears were welling in her eyes, and for once, she couldn’t bring herself to hold them back. She let them drip down her cheeks, which had just begun to pink up in the warmth of the building.

When she got to the door, she fumbled with her keys, her hands shaky. At first, she had the instinct to knock, before she remembered it was her own house. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. So much, she thought, and then let a bitter laugh slip from her lips. She really was exhausted. Just before she could stick her key in the lock, the door opened for her. Jess stood on the threshold, disheveled. His hair was mussed up and she could tell he hadn’t shaved in a few days. Soon, he’d have a full beard. His eyes were reddish and she could tell he had just woken up.

She swallowed dryly, dazed. She was aware she was still crying, but hardly knew why. She dropped her suitcase next to her, and her keys jangled to the ground as well. She raked both hands through her hair and sniffled.

“Hi,” she began, her voice weak and watery. “How’d you know I was here? Am I the star of the Truman Show or something?”

He shrugged, letting a sad smirk cross his face and then fade immediately. “I heard you.”

She furrowed her brows. “Well, you should’ve brought a bat or something. What if I was a murderer?”

Again, the joyless smirk. “I was in the kitchen making coffee and you laughed. I could tell...it was your laugh.”

“Oh,” she said, nodding. She scoffed self-consciously. “Yeah. I didn’t really sleep and I guess I’m kinda punch drunk. But I um...I just...had to come home.”

“You did?” he asked, keeping his voice even. If he sounded too hopeful, then he might be hopeful. And he couldn’t have that. But she’d said she would be back on Sunday, and it was only Saturday morning. Surely, that had to be a good sign.

“I did,” she said, then her face crumpled and she uttered a little whimper. She looked down at her shoes, stomach swirling with embarrassment. Then, she looked back up to face him and sniffled again. “I was just really fucking scared. I’m sorry, Jess.”

His face softened and he nodded, watching as she put her head in her hands to hide her face. Silent sobs overtook her.

“I know. I know,” he said gently, then wrapped her up in his arms.

She cried into his chest.

“It’s nothing for you to be sorry over, alright?” he said, leaning back slightly and taking her face in his hands. “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not okay!” she exclaimed, pulling away from him, speaking earnestly through her tears. “I can’t believe I said I wanted to leave! I’m such a fucking coward. We said we would always try, and I wasn’t fucking trying! And I’m just-”

“Eleanor, honey, just take a deep breath,” he said, running his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to relax her. “We can figure this out. You and me.”

“But you don’t have to-”

“Hey, Daria,” he began calmly, taking her suitcase and her keys from the floor beside her, “just come in and get some sleep. We’ll talk about it when you wake up, okay?”

She eyed him for a moment through a blurry, watery haze. “Do you promise?”

For the first time all morning, his tiny smile held the hint of something pleasant. “I promise.”

#jess x oc #jessocfanfiction #jess mariano #jess mariano fanfiction #gilmore girls #gilmore girls fanfiction #oc fanfiction #gilmore girls oc #jess mariano au #gilmore girls au #luke danes #lorelai gilmore

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mantra4ia · 4 years

Text

I vote to petition for Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life Part 2 so that we can get a full circle companion piece to the Jam Hands / mom's group at the diner episodes where we can see Luke with Rory's baby or toddler purposefully spoiling the kid with treats — making sure their hands are sticky— and then handing them to people like Taylor Dosey without warning.

...

Jam Hands

[Next door at the soda shoppe: Dosey hands the kid back to Luke with a wholesome smile trying to hide how irked he is that there's a new abstract chocolate gelato masterpiece on his freshly washed windows. He'll have a field day in about 30 minutes when he realizes that the back of his white sweater was also the paint palette]

Luke: "I'll admit when I'm wrong, jam hands are immensely satisfying."

Lorelai: "I could have sworn you were going to say jam hands are handy."

Luke: "Give me some credit for creativity."

[They enter Luke's diner and have a seat at the counter as Luke bounces the tot on his knee and Lorelai takes and upon herself to serve them rather than interrupt play and gloat time.]

Lorelai: "Says the man who owns and regularly adorns standard issue flannel shirts older than my daughter."

Luke: "I guess I could retire one or two if, as you say, they're practically historic."

Lorelai: "Don't tease me if you don't mean it."

Luke: "I think they should stay in the family though."

Lorelai: "Especially since you haven't had them appraised yet. Mrs. Kim might offer you a pretty penny for vintage diner attire..."

Luke: "Hardly, that woman drives a mean bargain."

Lorelai: "Ha! It gives new meaning to the phrase 'she'll take the clothes right off your back.'"

Luke: "Maybe I'll send a few to Liz, she can make them into some patchwork kids blankets. Not that Rory hasn't already taken care of all that, but what's a few extra for the car or laundry day when every last blanket is in the hamper covered in spit and cereal..."

Lorelai: "Oh, Luke. That's so sweet. Rory will love it."

Luke: "You think so?"

Lorelai: "Absolutely. I take it back, the Danes family are the great creative masters of our time..."

Luke: "Stop it..."

Lorelai: "The modern Mozarts of munchkins. The Beethoven of blankets..."

Luke: "Hey, will you go to the back and tell Cesar to send me out a plate of applesauce?"

Lorelai: "Feeling peckish?"

Luke: "No, I'm going to teach Amelia the time- honored Danes tradition of finger painting with food, and then I'm siccing her on Kirk. He's been hogging that table for an hour and he's still nursing the same donut. Applesauce please?"

Lorelai: "Only if we can swing by the inn later. I get dibs on Michel next."

Luke: "Wow, that counter offer was too easy. You're no Mrs. Kim."

Lorelai: "To be fair, the woman has an unparalleled reputation which she will uphold until long after we're both senile in a nice home or having Rory and Jess keep us out of trouble."

Luke: "Deal. To Michel, not the old folks home. Although, the alternative of Jess keeping an eye on us in my golden curmudgeon years is equally horrifying."

Lorelai: "I like this for us."

Luke: "Then I'll let you break it to Rory that she may not see Amelia again until she graduates college."

Lorelai: "Well then mister, you better be willing to put some tuition where your mouth is!" She says in dramatic jest.

Luke: "It's taken care of," he says matter-of-factly like a stone cold sniper or a mafia don, in comical contrast to the funny faces he's pulling as Amelia tries flailingly to reach for his baseball cap.

[Lorelei stops mid stride with a plate of applesauce in one hand and a bib in the other, mouth agape]

Lorelai: "Luke, you didn't..."

Luke: "You should think about closing that tunnel before someone, I'm not saying who but someone, gets the bright idea to stick a vegetable in there, you petrify on that spot, and Taylor opens up a new Stars Hollow tourist attraction of the crazy caffeine lady with a severe allergy to chlorophyll."

Lorelai: "Lucas..."

Luke: "Lorelai, I opened up a savings fund the same day that Rory told me she was having a baby. You remember? The day I came home and switched all the coffee in your house to decaf, and you begrudgingly went along with it to show support even though you made 'Winter is Here' jokes for a whole month. It's settled."

[Lorelai sets the plate down wordlessly and Luke begins to hand-over-hand finger paint with Amelia]

Luke: "No snappy rebuttal?"

Lorelai: "You know I had a dream once, not in the great Martin Luther King way, a literal dream that you were a coffee thief in my kitchen, only Rory was me, or rather I was in Rory's shoes, and there was not one kid but rather a matching set, a two for one diner special, Sid and Nancy..."

Luke: "Is this a stream of consciousness or should what you're talking about make profound sense to me?"

Lorelai: "Not a clue." She wipes the shmear of applesauce from Luke's cheek, then thinks fast, presses it to his lip, and kisses him fiercely by surprise, watching his face turn cherry.

Luke: [at a momentary loss for words] "Well then. Maybe ask Rory if there's a Sid somewhere in her future."

Lorelai: "I'll have my lawyers at the Gilmore Group draw up the paperwork for co-custody."

Luke: "I thought the Gilmore Group handled insurance projections."

Lorelai: "It helps that I know a guy, who knows a gal, who knows the CEO. It'll probably be the most amicable custody case they've ever handled."

Luke: "Or the only one..."

Lorelai: "Kirk," Lorelai hoists a primed, jam hands Amelia off Luke's lap and marches across the diner with a sing-song voice, "I have an aspiring indi film fan in the making who is just insistent on your autograph. Practically in a fuss. I don't seem to have a pen, but I do have fruit sauce."

Luke: [watches her swagger from behind and considers offering her a pen as he has following a dozen diner jokes before, except he wouldn't miss Kirk squirm for all the world. ] "Yeah, I like this for us."

-End scene-

#gilmore girls a year in the life #luke danes #luke and lorelai #lorelai gilmore #jam hands #fanfic4ia #fan fiction #mine #Gilmore Girls imagine #The great Gilmore watch

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francesderwent · 5 years

Note

If you do that meme you were kind enough to send me asks for: Damon, Stefan, Jess, Logan, Luke :)

Thank you!!! I’m gonna answer Damon in a separate one. =)

Stefan Salvatore

My Feelings: the feelings I have for Stefan are akin to the feelings one might have for a rather ne’er-do-well cousin. I love him, and I hope someday he makes something of himself, but right now the mess he’s made of his life is a little tiresome.

I Ship With: Caroline, Katherine. I think it would be way more fair to say that one of these ladies was the love of his life than to say Elena was. Caroline makes Stefan light up!! He shows her how to be a vampire, and then she shows him how to love life as a vampire! And Katherine is sort of the beginning and the end for Stefan – she makes him who he is, and then his eventually forgiving her and saving her is the height of his character development.

Platonic OTP: Stefan and Lexi, of course. I love his relationship with his brother, but let’s be real, it’s kind of fraught. His love for Lexi and her love for him is always very simple. They’re each other’s best friend, forever.

Unpopular Opinion: This isn’t so much an unpopular opinion as it is an obscure opinion, but I firmly contend that Stefan’s morality is Kantian and as such unsatisfactory.

I Wish: I love the reconciliation that happens between Stefan and Katherine in season 5, and I wish they had delved deeper into that and everything it meant for who he is and the way he understands his life story, rather than just lazily having the two of them hook up. In a way, I think if Stefan had been given the time to reflect on his relationship with Katherine and come to terms with it, it would have also helped him get over Elena more fully and find happiness with Caroline. (Can you tell I want to have my cake and eat it too?)

Jess Mariano

My Feelings: I love Jess, and I admire Jess for the person he became under impossible conditions, and I want to protect Jess from the writers of his dumb show.

I Ship With: only Rory – because Rory is apparently the only person he wants. I can’t imagine Jess getting over her and being happy with someone else, no matter how good that would be for him; he’s just not written that way. I would want to see her turn her life around before they got together – she can do it for him, that doesn’t bother me, but it has to happen.

Platonic OTP: Jess’s relationship with Luke is the best relationship in the show, full stop. They come to understand and respect each other in a way that I don’t think anybody else does, certainly not any of the titular Gilmore girls. I also love all of Jess’s interactions with Paris!

Unpopular Opinion: I don’t know that I’m in touch with what’s popular or not in the GG fandom, but I think Jess was justified in his detachment from his mother, and they shouldn’t have forced him to be in the wedding.

I Wish: I would’ve liked Lorelai to face the fact that Jess has become a good person, and in fact a better person than her daughter. I would’ve liked Jess to have a friend.

Logan Huntzberger

My Feelings: Logan is undeniably entertaining – the Yale season of the show before he shows up absolutely d r a g s, the show needed him. But I also feel like he’s the bargain-brand version of Tristan, whom I prefer.

I Ship With:…no one?? I enjoy moments of his romance with Rory (specifically “alright I’ll be your boyfriend”), but he’s got some manipulative tendencies to work through before he should date anyone.

Platonic OTP: Rory!! I absolutely love their relationship, pre-romance. One of my favorite sequences in the whole show is when he saves her from a creepy suitor at her grandparents’ house, teaches her how to have fun in that rich-people-world in which she’s still not comfortable, and then comforts her after Dean breaks up with her. I can imagine a world where they stayed more in that kind of friendship – admitted they were attracted to each other, but didn’t date because Logan wasn’t ready to be somebody’s boyfriend. Maybe he’d grow up and they’d get a happy ending, years down the line, but their canonical transition from friends to hookup buddies to boyfriend/girlfriend to on a break to back together even though he slept around during the break…it just pains me.

Unpopular Opinion: that scene where Logan saves the paper by…name-dropping his father…isn’t that impressive. That’s not doing work.

I Wish: I wish Chad Michael Murray had done a guest spot so Tristan and Logan could meet. I wish Rory hadn’t gotten back together with Logan after the Jess-incident-breakup. I wish he hadn’t conveniently had a ski accident (?) so that he could avoid facing up to his failures as a boyfriend, or that Rory had confronted him about them despite his ski injuries. I wish the revival hadn’t painted the most depressing picture of him possible, and that he’d been allowed to develop into his best self (like Jess did).

Luke Danes

My Feelings: Luke isn’t necessarily my favorite character, but I firmly believe he is the backbone of Gilmore Girls. Without him, the show wouldn’t have much appeal at all. The fun of watching Gilmore Girls is imagining living in a small town and drinking coffee from the same tiny diner every day and the grumpy owner loves you faithfully and quietly and you know in your heart of hearts one day you’ll be together.

I Ship With: only Lorelai – because Lorelai is the only one he wants.

Platonic OTP: As previously mentioned, I adore his relationship with Jess. But Luke’s relationship with Rory is also beautiful. And I love when Sookie and Luke talk food!!

Unpopular Opinion: He gives in to Lorelai too much. He bought her the freakin Twickham house – they should have lived there. Her refusing to give up her house is tantamount to Luke refusing to give up his apartment when he was married to whatshername – it shows they weren’t actually all-in.

I Wish: he and Lorelai had gotten married and had a family together. That’s it.

#asks #meta whine and rant #gilmore girls #4 #5 #tvd

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brittaden · 6 years

Note

Luke and Lorelai know each other right from the time Lorelai first moves to Stars Hollow AU!

Luke attended Rory’s kindergarten graduation

there was most definitely an incident where Luke was Lorelai’s only option for a babysitter and she questioned whether or not to leave Rory with him, not because she didn’t trust him but Rory was still young and Luke wasn’t the most kid-friendly person. but it all worked out even though Luke wasn’t so sure of himself as a guardian

It’s when Rory was younger that Stars Hollow decided to have a Father’s Day Festival/gathering, and she talked it up to Christopher over the phone and he promised that he would be there but when the day came, he let her down. Lorelai tried to make it up to her daughter but it wasn’t exactly the same, however when Luke found out, he decided it was his priority to make it up to her. He couldn’t stand to see her upset. And despite how he feels about the town’s festivities, they spent the whole day together. And raised a few eyebrows from questioning townsfolk.

Lorelai and Rory were both there on the day that Luke held the grand opening for his diner. Not only did Lorelai try to help him out during the day when she noticed him getting overwhelmed but she was one of the ones that championed the idea and help put his plans into motion. Plus she loves to paint so she could easily talk him into letting her help decorate the place.

Mia was the one that introduced them. It happened because Luke was Mia’s on-hand handy-man when she couldn’t call someone else to fix a problem. She also needed his help to fix up the potting shed as a livable space for Lorelai and Rory. She thought they would be good for one another. Not dating necessarily, but as friends. At first. But she did see the potential in them as the years passed and how much they cared for one another, and how much they both deeply cared for Rory, and just wondered why they couldn’t see it for themselves,

thanks! :)

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

#gilmore girls #ask #ask games

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gilmoremovies · 7 years

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Mary Poppins (1964)

Date Watched: 3rd November 2017

Referenced in: 1x14, 2x15, 3x18, 4x01, 4x14, 4x15, 6x13, 6x16 and 6x22

Rating: ★★★★☆

I’ve seen this film quite a few times and do enjoy watching it. I love the songs and Dick Van Dyke’s accent wears on me a little less each time and I feel sorry for Mr Banks a little more each time. The painting holiday scene is way too long though - I remember it being shorter... Excited for the new one to come out next year.

(Other GG Movies I’ve watched so far)

(Full references under the cut)

1x14, That Damn Donna Reed (2001) Rory mentions the title of a song in this film when talking about the Donna Reed show with Lorelai. LORELAI: She's medicated. RORY: And acting from a script. LORELAI: Written by a man. RORY: Well said, Sister Suffragette.

2x15, Lost and Found (2002) Taylor mentions the film while talking about collector plates. LUKE: Collectible plates? TAYLOR: Isn’t that a great idea? Elvis, The Beatles, Mary Poppins, all the greats. You can hang ‘em on the wall or you buy a little stand and set ‘em up on the coffee table. LUKE: Okay, you need to get away from me now. At least a good arm swinging length away.

3x18, Happy Birthday, Baby (2003) Lorelai tells Rory that she wants Luke to sweep the chimney. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: What? RORY: Luke cannot sweep our chimney. LORELAI: Why not? RORY: Because you need to be a chimney sweep to sweep a chimney. LORELAI: Please. If Dick van Dyke can do it, so can Luke.

4x01, Ballrooms and Biscotti (2003) Luke alludes to Taylor dressing like Bert, telling him that he should have Mary Poppins and some cartoon penguins with him. LUKE: A giant window! Right here! You can see my entire diner. And when I'm in my diner, I can see your whole stupid store. TAYLOR: I don't understand why yours is a diner and mine is a stupid store. LUKE: Look at this place! Look at you. All you need is six dancing penguins and Mary Poppins floating in the corner to bring back two of the worst hours of my childhood. TAYLOR: I don't think you had a childhood.

4x14, The Incredible Sinking Lorelais (2004) Emily says that Lorelai needs a haircut EMILY: Just be here and be on time, and get your hair cut. You looked like the bird lady from Mary Poppins the last time I saw you. LORELAI: Well, Mom, I've been very busy lately. EMILY: I don't care how busy you've been, Lorelai. If your hair looks a mess, it will be my fault, and I don't need that responsibility right now. I'll see you at noon.

4x15, Gilmore Girls: Scene in a Mall (2004) Trying to sound British, Lorelai says, "Sister suffragette; tuppence a bag." LORELAI: It's just when I picture letter writing, I picture Charles Dickens. LUKE: Charles Dickens wrote more letters than other people? LORELAI: No, it's just I can easily picture him in his study with his dog and his pipe and his fancy feathered pen, writing [British accent] "Cheerio, old bean. Have a cup of tea. How's Big Ben? How's the Tower of London, Sister Suffragette? Tuppence a bag." LUKE: Sounds like an idiot.

6x13, Friday Night's Alright for Fighting (2006) Lorelai pretends to speak as Emily, using a British accent and including the Mary Poppins phrase "spit-spot!" RORY: Grandma said she was “into this”? LORELAI: Well, you know, she didn't say it like that, but she said, [English accent] "oh! Dinner with Rory! "How delightful! Well, spit-spot. Alert the corgis." RORY: Mom. .

6x16, Bridesmaids Revisited (2006) Christopher refers to Lorelai as "Mary Poppins" after babysitting Gigi LORELAI: Hey. CHRISTOPHER: Hi, Mary Poppins. LORELAI: [Chuckles] Sorry, the place is a mess. CHRISTOPHER: It's okay. I left my white gloves at home.

6x22, Partings (2006) Logan asks Rory if she's about to break into a chorus of "Chim-Chim-Cheree" and later calls her "Mary Poppins", both times making fun of her fake British accent. LOGAN: You're gonna break into a chorus of " Chim chiminey " any minute. RORY: Shush, now. None of that talk. Because tomorrow, brilliant things will happen, a new life, a new adventure. You like adventure, don't you, mate? Well, London is certainly the place for that, and we, frankly, would not be the fine chaps we claim to be if we did not send you off in a proper way, [Raises her voice] with the bash of a lifetime! [cheering from the party goers] Come on. Someone get this chap a pint. See if you can't be happy, at least you can be drunk. LOGAN: Kiss me, Mary Poppins. RORY: [Normal voice] Really I thought it was more Gwyneth Paltrow, "Shakespeare in love."

#mary poppins #i love this film #gg movie list #musical #r2 #r2x15 #r3 #r3x18 #r4 #r4x01 #r4x14 #r4x15 #r6x13 #r6 #r6x16 #r6x22 #r1 #r1x14

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deschanelswifts · 7 years

Text

gilmore girls rewatch

my friend (remember we are calling her L for the sake of these posts) knows that i adore luke + lorelai so much, but for the first few episodes of season 1 she was super wary of them. she couldn’t get over how grumpy luke is and i was like THATS PART OF THE CHARM I PROMISE and she was like “he doesn’t even like lorelai” and i was like girl…. i swear he’s pining for her u just don’t know it yet

i really wanted to tell her about the horoscope but i was good and refrained from spoiling anything

but her opinion of luke and the two of them together changed when luke made lorelai the santa burger and then drove her to the hospital to see richard. the scene where lorelai tells luke “you always look good” i thought L was going to pass out she was so happy about that moment

and then when luke and lorelai were picking out paint colors for the diner, L was like “wow they are really good for each other” and i was like DUDE I KNOW and she kept saying “they just complement each other so well, he’s grumpy and she’s bubbly and it just works” and i was like YOU SEE I TOLD YOU DONT DOUBT MY OTP OK THEY ARE INCREDIBLE

and also i couldn’t help but point out every time i thought lauren graham looked exceptionally good (like at the bangles concert um hello u go girl) and L was like “do you have a girl crush or what” and i was like UM yes i do how can u not have a girl crush she’s so beautiful!!!!!

we watched until 4 am even though we both have class today and when we continue our marathon tomorrow night (i’d totally continue tonight but college) we will be watching 1x15, Christopher Returns. i’ve already given L my two cents on chris because i hate his ass so she’s excited to form an opinion on him.

stay tuned folks!!!!

#that was a lot #but i can't get over how fun watching it with someone who's never seen it before is #abbey rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls

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athingthatwantsvirginia · 4 years

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KISS v. Phantom

PART EIGHTEEN OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: major discussion of parent death, general angst but some fluff, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 4.9K

Summary: College decisions are released, and Ella gets another chance to practice her spontaneity.

Awakening on the Gilmore couch, Ella squeezed her eyes tightly shut against the morning light. Of course Dean had chosen to break up with Rory the first day of spring break, upon hearing about her acceptance to Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. After her shift, Ella had rushed over and been a shoulder for Rory to cry on, along with Lane. Buckets of cookie dough ice cream sat empty on the coffee table, tissues strewn around, and Ella’s makeup had been smeared around her face in her sleep. She was alone. At some point, Rory had gone to bed, she supposed, and Lorelai would be upstairs. Glancing down at her watch, she swore under her breath. It was half past eight; she was meant to be at the diner thirty minutes earlier.

Slapping lightly at her own cheeks, she spread her eyes wide. Taking in a deep breath, she hoisted herself up off the couch and tugged on her shoes, then grabbed her bag by the door. She almost forgot to say goodbye, her hand on the doorknob, before she ran back through the kitchen and into Rory’s bedroom. Rory’s back was to the door, asleep on her side. Ella placed a hand on her shoulder and shook slightly.

“Hey, Ror? I gotta go to work. See you later when you get your coffee, alright?” Ella whispered, watching Rory stir.

Rory grunted some sort of sleepy response.

Smirking, Ella ran back out the door and left the house. The late March morning was dewy and almost too fresh as she raced across town. Her boots were nearly slipping off her feet, her hair flying loose behind her. As she passed the gazebo, she ran nearly straight into Kirk, who had recently taken over as mailman. The most inconvenient time of the century, he’d ended up mixing up several peoples’ college acceptance (or rejection) letters. Though she knew she was late for work, she couldn’t help the slightly sick excitement in her stomach.

“Kirk!” she shouted as he tried to pass her. “Could you give me my mail, please?”

He faced her with a stony expression. “How many times do we have to go over this, Ella? I’m not permitted to give you your mail unless we’re standing on the address property.”

Crossing her arms, she looked down at her shoes and shook her head. Breathing out a frustrated sigh, she put a polite smile on her face. “Kirk, please. Just this once. Please do me this favor.”

Kirk blinked at her, unrelenting.

“Four rhubarb pies,” she wagered, narrowing her eyes at him.

He was silent for a moment, looking like one of the Village People in his mailman getup. She wondered how many of his clothes were regular and how many were various uniforms. “Six pies. By next weekend.”

“Deal,” she smiled, putting a hand out for him to shake.

He shook back, then shuffled through the many envelopes in his huge satchel. Fighting the urge to tap her foot, she watched him for what felt like an eternity. A throb was just beginning to form behind her eyes when he finally pulled out an envelope. A grin came to her face as she saw the return address.

“Thank you!” she chirped, immediately off again in the direction of the diner.

“Six rhubarb pies by next Saturday!” Kirk yelled after her, then went on ambling through town.

She felt a bit like Charlie with his golden ticket, despite having no idea what the content of the envelope would entail. It was the difference between a two-year degree and a four-year degree, community college and a public university. She didn’t really care much either way, but Southern Connecticut State was her top choice. Realistically, she wasn’t excited for the results, she was only excited for the suspense to end. Her dimples shone on her freckled cheeks as she made it through the front door of the diner, the bell above jingling happily. The diner was relatively packed, and she was reminded again how late she was. Luke’s face was stony and gruff, and Jess smirked over at her.

“Rough morning, Stevens?” he asked, taking in her smudged mascara and wild hair.

Ella rolled her eyes playfully and came around the counter after hanging her belongings, the envelope in one fist. But she had trouble getting out all the information between breathless panting. “I got the letter!”

“Southern Connecticut State?” Jess asked, eyebrows raising and smile turning genuine.

Swallowing dryly, she nodded, holding it up for him to see.

“You didn’t open it yet?” he asked in surprise.

“Been a busy morning, jackass,” she said, shaking her head at herself. As she prepared to rip it open, Luke came over from the register and cut the moment short.

“What time were you supposed to be here, Ella? The same time for the last three years? Is it eight-thirty?” he said, voice laced with anger and sarcasm. “Oh, right, it’s eight o’clock. Every single Saturday for the past three years!”

Face falling, Ella nodded along. “Luke, I’m sorry. I had to chase Kirk down for my Southern Connecticut State letter. And I spent all night with Rory. Dean broke up with her after she got into Harvard and-”

“What?” Luke interrupted. “The bag boy broke up with her?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Yesterday, but-”

Before she could even finish the sentence, Luke was calling back an order to Caesar for chocolate chip pancakes, breathing huffy and frustrated. He rambled on about how much he hated Dean, how he would never be allowed back in the diner, and other such dramatic threats. Watching with brows furrowed, Jess and Ella eventually locked eyes again.

“Should I wait for him to calm down?” she asked Jess, looking back down at the envelope.

Jess shook his head. “Could take years. I’d go for it if I were you.”

“I don’t think you could handle being me.”

“You opening it or not?”

Nodding slowly, she took in a deep breath and ripped it open. She took out the crisp sheet of white paper, text in dark ink and signed at the bottom, her heart in her throat.

Ella began reading aloud, Jess standing across from her expectantly. The other patrons in the diner were more or less completely enraptured by Luke’s tantrum.

“Dear Miss Stevens, I am pleased to congratulate you on your acceptance-”

“You did it! You’re in!” Jess cut her off, gesturing excitedly as he spoke. It was odd to see him so earnest in his emotion, especially standing behind the counter at the diner.

A slow smile spread on her lips, as she stared almost blankly at the words before her. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

Eventually, she folded the letter back up and looked up at him. He had to stop himself from tilting his head at the expression on her face, almost false in its happiness. The smile didn’t reach her hazel eyes.

“Congrats, Stevens,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She didn’t even blush like she normally would, instead only wrapping her arms around his neck. After holding him in a tight embrace for a moment, she cleared her throat and pulled away, an artificial smile still present.

“Thanks,” she said, putting all the contents back into the envelope and sighing softly, all at once acutely aware of the environment around her. “I guess I should get to work.”

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered, confusion painting his face. Before she went to put the letter back in her bag, he brought a gentle hand to her arm. “Are you okay?”

“I always am.”

. . .

A long day of comforting Rory, serving coffee, and dealing with the flurry of townie activity brought Ella to the bridge. She held a copy of Little Women in her lap, the book she’d read probably hundreds of times before. Eyes roaming over the words, she could practically hear her mother’s voice. Soft and sweet, and always passive. Her voice always made Ella feel so simply safe. She could smell the Pond’s Cold Cream her mother had once worn. Crickets sang around her, spring finally having sprung. The air was cool but humid, charged with the possibility of rain.

Sat trying to read, she couldn’t help the tears that spotted the pages. She’d tried going home after her shift, but felt too antsy inside her own tiny room. Knowing she’d be bound to live there for at least a couple more years. And she took the book from the top drawer of her dresser, telling Fiona nothing more than that she was going out, and she wouldn’t be back for dinner. The moon had risen between the clouds. A pit of dread had been sitting in her stomach almost all day, since she’d opened the letter. For just a moment, she had been happy, relieved to have gotten into her top choice, but then the reality hit. It was real. College. Living at home. She wiped at her cheeks, sniffling. So much work, and she still felt so far away from anything resembling her goals. No matter how hard she tried to concentrate, the tears blurred her vision. Blowing out a shaky breath, she turned the page.

“Hey, Daria,” she heard to her left. Startling, she snapped the book shut and blinked quickly. With the back of her hand, she wiped away the tears which had spilled over once again.

“James Dean,” she sighed, not having to look over to recognize him. “Sneaking up on people, again, huh?”

Shrugging off the bite in her voice, he came to sit down next to her, close enough for their shoulders to brush against each other. Luckily, she didn’t flinch away from his touch as he’d been half-expecting her to. Clearing her throat, she swallowed down her flush and hoped he couldn’t see the shine in her hazel eyes.

“Thought I’d find you here,” he drawled, looking over the lake. “You seemed quiet today. And you rushed out right after your shift. Are you feeling okay?”

Uttering a bitter scoff, Ella let a smirk cross her face. “Yeah. I’m great. I’m going to Southern Connecticut State, after all.”

“Yes. You are,” he said flatly, wondering what could be bothering her. “And?”

“I don’t wanna talk, Jess,” she snapped, shaking her head at herself. More tears welled up in her eyes, and she looked away from him, tossing her book to the side in slight anger.

“Okay,” he nodded. And he sat beside her, saying nothing, listening to the sounds of nighttime and watching the lake.

Then, after a long silence, Ella glanced over at the book, back at the water: “My mom used to read Little Women to me. Before bed. And then I read it over and over. Even before she died, I was just always...I was always reading it. I don’t know why.”

Jess wasn’t lost on the shakiness in her voice. “Huh.”

“Yeah. And she…” she paused to sigh, shaking her head again. She stared down at her lap, wringing her hands together anxiously. “She lived here her whole life. She was a great mom and everything but...she would just lie down and take it. Anything. Life would come at her and s-she was...sweet and kind...but she just never…”

“Bit back?” Jess ventured quietly, watching at the way her face contorted in the moonlight. He could see her fighting back the sobs, silent tears falling down her face in streaks.

Ella nodded sadly. “Exactly. I love her so much. But I don’t wanna be her. I don’t wanna be stuck here my whole life.”

“You won’t be, Eleanor,” he said, starting to understand, trying to catch her gaze. She simply refused to make eye contact with him.

She gave a humorless chuckle. “That’s what Lorelai said. But no one really knows anything, do they? I think they’re just lucky. Lorelai and Rory. And I’m not Rory. I’ll never be Rory.”

“What do you mean?” he chimed in, running a hand up and down her back, remembering how her touch had felt the night he cut his hand.

“They think things can work out,” she continued. “I mean...fuck. Rory got into Harvard and Princeton and Yale. And her grandparents are basically a bottomless pit of money. She could have anything she wants. And instead she spends the whole day crying over her dumbass boyfriend. And everyone just drops everything to make her feel better.”

Brows knitted together, he nodded slightly. Jess thought back to the morning, Luke’s tirade about Dean while Ella held her future between her fingers.

She spoke through gritted teeth as angry tears kept rolling down her face. “And I hate being jealous of her. I mean...she’s one of my best friends. And I don’t mean she doesn’t have problems. I don’t want a pity party. Of course she has problems! I mean...her dad wasn't in her life for so long. But...he came back, y’know? He came back for her. And everyone in this town loves her. Sometimes, it’s like she lives in a different world. Where everything gets fixed with coffee and sugar and her grandparents’ money.”

Speaking with her hands, she tilted her head and looked up at the sky. Maybe in an effort to dry her eyes against the breeze. She cleared her throat, hoping her voice wouldn’t sound so wobbly. Embarrassment burned in her stomach, but she couldn’t help as the words poured straight from her mind to her mouth.

“And she gets to go wherever she wants. She gets everything she wants. And she gets Lorelai. She gets a mom who she’s best friends with, who would never leave her. And my mom…”

“She didn’t wanna leave you,” Jess said firmly.

Heaving a big sigh, she swallowed thickly. “She didn’t want to. But she did. She was...um...born with this heart thing? And one night it just...got her. I went to bed one night with a mom and I woke up without one. Just like that.”

“Jesus,” he muttered. Though his family wasn’t exactly a greeting card situation, he couldn’t imagine losing his whole world forever, literally overnight.

“Yeah,” she sighed, voice exhausted. “And I didn’t cry at the funeral, but sometimes alone...I’ll get upset about it and I’ll think: ‘Okay, this is the last time. Just be sad about it one more time and your heart won’t be broken anymore. This is the last time.’ But it never is. It always comes back. I think I’ll always...have a piece missing, I guess. And today...it just came back. Because everyone was there for Rory about Harvard and Yale and Dean. Lorelai stayed up almost all night with us last night. And I haven’t talked to my mom since I was fourteen. I’ll never talk to her again.

“And now...my dad can’t even look at me. Not exactly like he was such an involved father before. But every time he looks at me, all he can see is her. I just...I just look so much like her. It’s not like I could blame him. I wouldn’t wanna have a doppelganger of my dead wife living in my house either.”

“Well, you didn’t ask for a Freaky Friday situation,” he said.

It earned him a small giggle, and he flashed her a tiny smile.

“It’s not your fault, Eleanor.”

“I know,” she nodded, then took in a big breath. “Fuck. And here I said I didn’t wanna talk. I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to tell you all that. And I know everyone has problems. I’m not special or anything. Lots of people have dead parents. But..no one talks about it. Not in Stars Hollow. Everything just needs to be happy here, but everything reminds me of her. No one...no one ever talks about her. I’m sorry, Jess, I don’t mean to-”

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry over,” he told her, shaking his head.

She chuckled weakly, wiping at her nose. “And I hate crying.”

“I know.”

“Especially in front of people.”

“I know,” he repeated softly, finally locking eyes with her. His mouth was set in a thin line. All the things he wanted to say were stuck in his throat. Instead, he only listened. She needed to talk about it. She needed someone who wouldn’t brush it off, who wouldn’t get uncomfortable. Who would just hear her.

“But I just can’t stop crying,” she admitted, her voice breaking.

She put her hands over her face in shame and guilt, weeping quietly. Each time she got upset about her mother, she reminded herself of how much worse it could be. From what little she knew, she could gather Jess had never even met his father. She couldn’t blame Jess if he just walked away, or yelled at her for taking what she had for granted. At least she had two parents for as long as she did. It was a vicious cycle in her head, making her dizzy.

Jess felt his heart do a twist as she crumpled, and acted only on instinct. He enveloped her in his arms and her head went to his shoulder, wetting his jacket. Rubbing circles over her back, Jess held her against the chilly wind.

“You wanna push me in the lake?” he asked, breaking the silence. “It’s cathartic, I hear. Might make you feel better.”

Ella uttered a watery laugh. “No, but thank you for the offer.”

. . .

Blondie blasted through her speakers, and she huffed at herself as she tried to finish her makeup. She was having trouble making her eyeliner work, eventually deciding to just smudge it out, falling back on grunge as she usually did. Getting up to grab her boots, she gasped audibly when she heard a knock on the window. Rationally, she knew it was Jess. Who else regularly climbed through her window? But, still, in the back of her mind, she worried about hypothetical murderers. Occasional viewings of Dateline did nothing to subdue her mistrust of the world at large. Taking a boot in her hand by the laces, she walked over, ready to fend off a potential assailant. Her shoulders relaxed when she pushed the curtains back and Jess stood out in the gloomy morning with a smug smirk.

The window screeched as she opened it, and she leaned out with a grin. “Did Luke send you to avoid a do-over of yesterday? Because, by my clock, I’m not late for another forty-five minutes.”

Jess shook his head. “Good guess, but no. Are you, by any chance, still practicing your spontaneity?”

She furrowed her brows. “Occasionally. But, today, diner duty calls.”

“Actually, I got us both the day off.”

“What?” she asked, chuckling through her words. “Fuck off.”

“So eloquent, Daria. But I’m serious. We’re on spring break, so I switched with Guillermo for Tuesday.”

“Right, but hate to break it to you, I’m the other half of this duo. And I’m Luke’s favorite waitress, as we know. It’s my natural charm, of course,” she quipped, forearms resting on the window sill.

“Told him you had a migraine last night. He figured you’d need rest,” Jess explained, shrugging.

Ella shook her head in disbelief, smile turning to a smirk. “Migraine being code for major meltdown?”

“Semantics.”

She scoffed. “Really? We’re both off?”

“Really,” he said, shaking his head at her suspicion. “Free as birds. You need some notarized documentation?”

Snickering, she shook her head and glanced over her shoulder. “Well, did you have any particular plans in mind? Or was this just spontaneity for the sake of it?”

“Well, last time you were in New York, you didn’t get the full experience. Thought maybe we could go to the Met, Miss O’Keefe?” Jess shifted his weight on his feet, a familiar uncertainty welling in his stomach. “I brought my car. We’ll be back before anyone will suspect where we went.”

Ella shook her head again in pleasant shock, giggling slightly. “If you can promise me no felony charges?”

“Misdemeanor at most,” he said, chuckling.

“Alright,” she said, stepping into her boots. “Let me just grab my jacket. You’re the fucking best, Mariano.”

. . .

“Yikes.”

Jess raised an eyebrow and looked over at her as she shuffled through the center console of his car, searching for a CD. She’d been exploring the selection. They didn’t often need a car, and when they did, Ella was always driving. She just preferred to be behind the wheel, and also, more importantly, his car was pretty much a death trap. But he’d insisted on driving to New York, paying for the gas himself. Face falling, he saw the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack in her hands. As a native New Yorker, he’d had Broadway shoved in his face his whole life. It wasn’t his fault if some of it stuck. He kept it in the car with various other road trip music, away from his uncle’s wandering eyes. He’d forgotten it was in there, along with a couple other soundtracks, from both movies and musicals.

A flush crept up the back of his neck. “Oh, that’s my mom’s.”

“Bullshit,” she laughed, immediately going to pop it in the CD player. She shook her head slightly as the first piano chords came through the speakers. “You like musicals, huh?”

“No. Jumping to conclusions much, Nancy Drew?”

“C’mon, Jess, I know a swan beaked you in the eye, I know you work at Walmart, it’s cool if you’re a theater geek,” she said, shrugging with a wide smile. “I mean, I like Phantom of the Opera too. It’s got a ghost, sort of. That’s all I can ask for.”

Sighing heavily, Jess bit his bottom lip. “My mom had a bunch of soundtracks in her car when I was younger. Hers were eight-tracks, but whoever had this car before me put in a CD player. I just...carried on the tradition.”

“Whatever, tough guy,” she teased. “Is there a home video of little Jess singing along out there somewhere?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Methinks the man doth protest too much.”

He rolled his eyes. “KISS t-shirt. Need I say more?”

“Touché,” she said, eyes lingering on him playfully for just a moment longer as the music started up.

Fighting off the urge to sing along, she watched Jess’s eyes, trained on the road. They’d been driving around an hour, good natured arguments over movies and music, through the misty morning air. The highway was largely empty, Sunday morning drivers at church or sleeping in. Ella almost couldn’t believe she was bound for a place dedicated to master works of art. She was about to see Van Gogh with her own eyes. The thought alone was enough to make her heart skip happily.

“Jess?”

“Hm?”

She shifted a little in her seat and her fingers went to clutch at her necklace. “Thanks for listening last night. I’m sorry I was such a freak about everything.”

Jess sighed through his nose. “No reason to be sorry. I get it.”

“You don’t need to be nice about it,” she continued, pursing her lips.

“What are you talking about? I’m always an angel,” he scoffed, a wicked sparkle in his brown eyes. When she looked unamused, he shook his head a little. “Eleanor, it’s fine. There is nothing for you to be sorry over.”

“And you don’t pity your sad sack girlfriend?”

He scoffed. “My girlfriend’s a badass artist. She doesn’t need my pity.”

“Very true,” she nodded, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Seriously Jess, thank you. I can’t believe you’re taking me to the Met.”

He shrugged, nonchalant. “I don’t do things I don’t wanna do.”

. . .

Standing before Van Gogh’s “Flowering Orchard,” Ella felt a foreign lightness spread throughout her being. She had so many favorites, many of which she’d seen in the last few hours. Monet, O’Keefe, Picasso. But there was something about Van Gogh which always stuck out to her, a perspective so different from her own. She who saw everything with a hidden darkness, an ulterior motive. So rarely did she work in lively color. Ella couldn’t even fathom seeing such a vibrance in what was so often a gloomy world. It took her breath away to see the piece in person, the canvas Van Gogh himself had touched. She could feel her heart reaching out to the painting, a connection to the past. It was what she loved most about art, writing, music. Impersonal love letters sent out to the public, from creator to creation to audience.

Ella didn’t even startle as Jess’s arms laced around her waist, and she leaned back against him. “Hey, James Dean.”

He smirked. “Hey Daria, hate to break it to you, but we should go if we wanna be back before they call the FBI on us crazy kids.”

Clicking her tongue in disappointment, she looked down at the watch on his wrist and nodded. “One more minute.”

“If you insist.”

She chuckled. “Can you imagine seeing the world this way?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, voice in hushed tones with other viewers milling about near them. But, with his arms around her, Ella so calm and in her element, it felt like a private world. Where parents didn’t break promises and eyes didn’t pass premature judgement.

“Just…” she began, pausing to gather her thoughts, “he could see things with so much color and life and...I could never look at things this way. Maybe I’d be a better artist if I wasn’t such a cynic.”

“Oh, I think cynicism is a benefit in all areas of life,” he said.

“You sure about that, Nietzche?”

“Way I see it, there’s cynicism or there’s cutting off your own ear.”

She scoffed. “No middle ground?”

Jess shook his head. “No one becomes an artist unless they have to.”

“Deep, but not yours. That’s from White Oleander, thief,” she said, a smug smirk on her face.

“The point still stands, no matter the origin.”

“I know, but...it must have been so intense for him to live that way. To...I don’t know. I wonder if the torture is worth it to be such a genius,” she thought aloud, a wistful glaze in her eyes.

Biting his lip, Jess’s smirk grew. Despite how much Ella told him the only reason for her perfect grades was her insane work ethic and stellar organizational skills, he knew it wasn’t true. She was smart in ways she didn’t ever acknowledge, thought about things in ways which would never even occur to him. Of course he could see the beauty in all the art they’d encountered, and in the painting in front of him, but she could feel it, the way he felt the words in his books. And she could look at poetry and music as a linguistic collage, art in itself. It never surprised him how fond she was of modernism. Her mind was something he could never quite grasp, a complexity he could only admire. She would always be smarter. His heart felt so full, watching her watch the painting, he almost felt silly. Each day he got more sure. It was love he felt for her.

. . .

Reddish brake lights glowed against the dark highway. Ella could still taste the salt on her lips from the street food they’d had for both lunch and dinner. The windows of the rusty, screeching car were cracked slightly open, letting in the fresh, chilly spring air. Her blonde waves blew back from her face as the CD ran out. Without a word, she ejected the disk, put it back in its case, and started shuffling through the other albums.

“Jesus, Mariano, how have you never told me you like Rocky Horror?”

He sighed but didn’t have time to retort before she pointed a finger at him.

“We are going to a screening at some point. And I, of course, will be dressing up,” she said with a smile, not even looking over at him as she found a new CD. Looking over, he saw a flash of red and black on the case as she opened it up. He couldn’t hide his tiny grin as he turned back to the road.

“As long as I don’t have to,” he shrugged, heart fluttering in his chest with pleasant excitement as she put the disk in.

Ella reached her arm over and placed a gentle hand on the back of his neck, leaning deeper into her seat. Shivers went down Jess’s spine at her touch, and the opening chords of “Untitled” by Interpol. Neither of them said a word, but the soft smile never left Ella’s face. She remembered his hands on her waist the first time they kissed, the warm tingling in the pit of her stomach. Notes in books and drunken evenings, stitches and pianos, paintings and shoulders to cry on. Ella glanced over at him, could see the lights of the nighttime reflected in his brown eyes, and felt as she never thought she would. So strangely whole.

“Jess?”

“Yeah, honey?”

The words almost left her lips, she could taste them on her tongue, but she bit them back as her heart began racing. Instead, she breathed in, fresh air and the smell of pine.

“Do you wish your angel of music would hide no longer?” she teased.

He rolled his eyes and his voice held no emotion as he spoke. “I don’t know, Stevens, do you wanna rock and roll all night? And party every day?”

#jess mariano au #jess mariano imagines #jess mariano imagine #jess mariano one shot #jess mariano one shots #jess mariano fanfiction #gilmore girls fanfiction #jess #mariano #jess mariano #gilmore girls au #gilmore girls imagine #gilmore girls #jess mariano x oc #jess mariano x original character #original character #original character stories #rory gilmore #luke danes

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athingthatwantsvirginia · 4 years

Text

James Dean and Daria

PART TWENTY-FIVE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of alcoholism, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 5.3K

Summary: Ella receives a book in the mail and attends an open house.

two years later

A Ramones song was stuck in her head, and Ella hummed along with its tune as she twirled around the diner. Her hair, freshly cut, was back in a black bandana. She blew her wispy curtain bangs away from the sides of her forehead as she served up lunch. Lane was on shift, and they bounced around together in sync. Working with her made everything a little sunnier. Lorelai had always said Ella and Lane were night and day, respectively. The thought of it made Ella smile as she joined her friend behind the counter again. Recently, Lane had been experimenting with contacts, and it was still jarring to see her without her trademark glasses.

They made a dynamic duo, as Luke was off to fix random bits and bobs at the Inn. With he and Lorelai engaged, he was over there doing repairs for free nearly half the time. During which time, especially in the afternoons, Ella was left to look after Luke’s daughter, April. To say she was shocked when Luke told her he had a twelve-year-old kid that some woman from his past had never told him about would’ve been an understatement. But soon, April was fitting into the groove of town. Ella was always glad to do homework with her (not that the brainiac ever needed help per se) or listen to the girl’s long-winded monologues about obscure scientific principles. Sometimes, Ella hardly believed Luke and April were related. The girl could talk for days without taking a breath if she had the chance. Watching April concentrate over her textbooks and scribble essays during the early dinner rush sometimes made Ella’s heart do a little, nostalgic twist. She was no longer the girl doing calculus at the corner table. To everything there was a season.

“‘I Wanna Be Sedated’?” Lane asked, breaking Ella out of her reverie.

Ella turned to Lane with a small smirk, arms crossing over her chest. Breathing out a sigh, she gave a nod. Things were finally slowing down, almost everyone with a plate in front of them. She had taken over the floor for the day. Lane’s wedding to Zach was only weeks away, and Lane was stressed enough as it was. Ella figured having Lane on register would at least be a decent method to avoid her passing out.

Lane narrowed her eyes and tilted her head at her friend. “What’s got you in such a good mood?”

Shrugging, Ella turned to make a pot of coffee. “I don’t know. I’m a college graduate. Besides, is Ramones really good mood music?”

Lane scoffed. “For you? Definitely.”

“Just happy to have all this education, maybe,” Ella said.

Though it had been a whole five days since her graduation, she was still basking in the glow of it. She couldn’t believe she had managed to get through school in three years instead of four. It meant the upcoming summer would be her first real break from school since the summer after high school. During her last finals, she had been nearly ready to tear her hair out. Suffice it to say, it was time to stop studying for at least a little while.

“So, I guess we’ll be hearing about this summa cum laude thing forever, huh?” Lane teased.

Ella’s smile grew wider. “Forever is a strong word. ‘The foreseeable future’ would be more accurate.”

Lane rolled her eyes with a chuckle.

“And what’s got you all grumpy today? That’s my job. Did a Freaky Friday situation happen without my knowledge?” Ella asked.

Sighing heavily, Lane went back over to the register, seeing some customers finishing up their meals. “I told you my mom wants me to wear her wedding dress, right?”

Ella nodded.

“Well, she finally showed it to me. And it has pants!”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella swallowed down the laugh which threatened to leave her lips.

“I gave it to Lorelai. Hopefully something along the lines of salvageable will come of it,” Lane grumbled, adjusting her apron anxiously.

“Hey, Lorelai made that renaissance dress I wore to Liz’s wedding wearable. I’m sure she’ll work her magic,” Ella said, turning to see Luke return as the bell over the door jingled.

“We’ll see,” Lane said, sighing again as a young couple came up to the register, ready to pay for their patty melts.

As Luke approached, Ella saw he had the mail in his hands. He looked almost haggard, with dark circles under his eyes. She knew he and Lorelai had been having some problems, but didn’t know the details. It wouldn’t be surprising if the new daughter or the prolonged engagement had something to do with it, though. Since she and Rory had fallen out of touch, Ella saw Lorelai less and less. And it wasn’t like Luke was a chatterbox.

“Something came for you,” Luke said shortly, handing Ella a puffy orange envelope.

As soon as she took it, she could tell it was a book. Confusion painted her features; it wasn’t often she got mail addressed to Luke’s. She’d been living at Lane’s for almost two years. Furrowing her brows, she looked in the upper right corner and her face immediately fell when she saw the familiar, spiky handwriting. Clearing her throat, she plastered on a complacent expression.

“I’m gonna take a fifteen, okay?” she said, clutching the package tightly in her hands.

Luke nodded. “You alright?”

Ella smiled thinly. “Yeah. Just gotta take the smell of the stock room in as much as I possibly can. I’ve only got it until the end of July.”

Rolling his eyes, Luke shook his head. “I’m counting the seconds.”

“Hey, I could quit right now! Then where would you be?!” she exclaimed dramatically, a bit which never seemed to get old.

Luke grunted doubtfully. “Don’t tease.”

Smirking slightly, she finally turned on her heel and went back into the stock room. It was dim, piled high with boxes and cans. But there was the comforting smell of dust and pine, making her feel just a touch less queasy. Sitting on the lone table in the middle on the shelves, her legs dangling over the sides with boots heavy on her feet, Ella stared down at Jess’s writing for a moment. It only made sense he would send her something at the diner. He probably had no idea where she lived, if she was still even in Stars Hollow.

Her mind wandered to their last conversation, her night up on the plaid couch, crying. When Jess had called to tell Luke he was back in New York, Luke said Jess had told him to say hello to her. She’d told him to say hello back, a half-hearted message. And she was glad to know his trip had been safe. Glad he had apparently mended fences with Luke. But when she thought of actually speaking to him, hearing his voice, it made her feel sick with nerves. All she could see was his heartbroken expression when she had told him she wouldn’t come with him. Hear his pleading. Many times, she had pulled out the small slip of paper with his cell number written on it, had thought about reaching out. But, it simply hurt too much.

And she would have no idea where to begin. He had apologized. And she had rejected him. She didn’t regret it, didn’t feel bad about what she had said or done. But she knew there would be a shift between them. All the words they spoke would have a whispered ‘what if’ underneath. It seemed like too much to put him through. Jess probably wouldn’t like to hear her voice either, she thought. As angry as she had been before, she just couldn’t bear to hurt him anymore. It was more trouble than it was worth. So, each time Luke spoke with Jess, they exchanged fleeting greetings through him. It was impersonal, cold, but, they always knew the other was alive. The deal still stood, even after everything.

Running her finger along the address on the package, written in black permanent marker, Ella felt a storm of emotion brewing within her. Time and distance had been kind; when she thought of him, she didn’t think betrayal, she didn’t think resentment. Somehow, their final argument had cleansed her of those feelings. He had come back. She had never expected it. But, at least, he had come back for her, even if she didn’t exactly want it. Instead of anger, there was only sadness, for months. She had walked around with an aura of gloom. But then, life had gotten busier, and it faded.

Instead, as the pad of her finger curved over his name again and again, she thought of her books, filled with their writing to each other. She thought of his smirk, ever-present when she was around. And his brown eyes, guarded but so often kind. And his fears, shared only with her. And, above all, she thought of him telling her he loved her. With tears running down his cheeks, anxious hands raking through his hair.

Love. That word she had always scoffed at. While she still wasn’t one to utter it lightly, she had slowly come around. As the world moved around her, and she was finally away from her childhood home, she began to see it. Luke and Lorelai, mostly. She almost felt silly, having watched a love story unfold before her eyes in the diner for years and years. Perhaps as a teen, she had been too headstrong. Perhaps she had been unable to see how her own fears had stopped her from living the way she wanted to, a pattern she had been able to see so clearly in Lane and Jess. Without the constant reminder of her parents’ doomed union, she felt better each day. More open.

But still, she had no idea how to feel about Jess. Surely, he had moved on. She didn’t know where he was, what he was doing. Luke had only told her he was doing well. And she had never asked for details. No use in ripping open old wounds. But it seemed the ball wasn’t entirely in her court. Jess had made a move. Again. Biting at the inside of her cheek, she heaved a big sigh and ripped open the side of the package. Inside it, she found a book, as she expected.

But her breath caught as she ran her eyes over the black-and-white cover: The Subsect by Jess Mariano. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest and a grin came over her lips before she could stop it. She knew it was only a matter of time. He was a writer. He always had been. As she flipped open the inside cover, a slip of heavy, purple paper fell out. A crease formed between her brows as she took the paper in one hand, eyes gravitating to the words scribbled in pen on the novel’s second page.

Before she could begin the handwritten message, she looked to the dedication. A lump formed in her throat. For Eleanor, it read simply. Her hazel eyes shone with glassy tears, and the surreality of the moment hit her like a ton of bricks. Swallowing down the sob which threatened to escape, she turned to the inscription before she could get caught up in her emotions.

I wasn’t sure how to tell you about this. But I wanted to let you know somehow, considering it wouldn’t have happened without you. And writing in a book seemed like the best way, since it’s worked for us in the past. I included an invite to the Open House thing we’re having at Truncheon, the place which was stupid enough to publish this. You don’t have to come, and I don’t expect you to. But, in case you did want to come see what I couldn’t have done without you, you’re more than welcome.

-Jess

Chewing on her thumbnail, Ella picked up the purple invite and ran her eyes over the address. Philadelphia. She smirked at the coincidence. She could see him there. Always a city boy. And, though nerves coursed through her veins and butterflies flew around in her stomach, she knew immediately that she would soon be seeing the liberty bell.

. . .

Smoothing her hands over her dress, Ella took in a deep breath. Her battered blue station wagon was parked behind her on the street, and for a split second, she thought about running back to it. Driving all the way back up to Connecticut in a continuous three-hour stretch. But she knew there would be at least a few familiar faces inside Truncheon Books. Luke had offered to be a chaperone for some road trip with April’s school, and they, of course, were also invited to the open house. Initially, Luke had been wary of them both being away from the diner, but Ella assured him Lane and Caesar could handle it. And, of course, he would have to learn to deal without her by the end of the July. She and Lane would be even when Ella took all the shifts for the week of her and Zach’s honeymoon. Yes, Ella’s final week as a waitress at Luke’s was bound to be grueling.

Biting down on the inside of her cheek, Ella opened the door and entered the publishing house before she could talk herself out of it. The place was crowded, lots of people mingling at a table near the entrance and next to the coat rack. The green walls were lined with art, and the room was filled with warm, richly-toned wood. She hung her bag as her heart sat heavy in her chest. She hadn’t realized just how anxious walking into Jess’s new world was going to make her. A small smile formed on her face, though, as she scanned the crowd for Luke and April. When she didn’t instantly find them, she crossed her arms and walked toward the collection of photographs on a wall near the door. They showed visions of the city: an old newspaper stand, a rusty bike, a group of angry teenagers sat around a statue of Thomas Jefferson. She’d never been good with technology, including cameras, and she envied the photographer who could capture images like these.

Across the room, Jess spotted her. Her blonde waves fell down her back, just past her shoulder blades, shorter than he’d ever seen her hair. There was a tattoo on the back of one of her calves, and one on the inside of her left forearm. She was too far away though, and he couldn’t quite make out what they were. As expected, she was dressed only in blacks and greys, her dress checkered with the two colors. And, as expected, her all-black oxfords had no heel. Before he could stop it, a grin crossed his face, and his hand tightened around the half-empty beer bottle he was nursing. Never had he actually thought she would show up. But there she was. Matthew, who stood next to him on the stairs, instantly noticed his friend’s change in expression. He followed Jess’s eyes, and it dawned on him. Jess didn’t talk about the woman he’d dedicated The Subsect to a lot. But the blonde standing before the photography section fit the description Jess had spewed drunkenly on his last birthday almost perfectly.

Matthew raised knowing brows. “Is that her?”

“What?” Jess asked, blinking slightly as he looked away from her and turned back to the co-owner of his business.

Scoffing out a chuckle, Matthew shook his head. “That’s the girl, isn’t it? The one you wrote the book for.”

Breathing a big sigh, Jess took another sip of his drink and nodded slowly. “Is it that obvious?”

“Oh, yeah,” Matthew laughed, clapping Jess on the shoulder. “Now’s your chance.”

Jess snorted a bitter laugh, looking away from his friend and down at his shoes. “There’s no chance.”

Before Matthew could say anything more, Jess descended the final two stairs. Matthew was still chuckling behind him. No matter how much Chris and Matthew drove him up the wall sometimes, he would always be grateful. They’d published his book. They’d welcomed him into the company before it even existed, into the apartment upstairs. They’d become his family without him even noticing it. And he knew no matter how torn up he would be after speaking with Ella (and he knew he would be, at least a little), they’d get him through it. As they had gotten him through the heartbreak the first time, when he’d shown up on the doorstep of a company he’d heard about through some friends in New York, a company which didn’t even have a name, just some printing equipment. Tossing the empty beer in the recycle near the front refreshment table, Jess took another breath in. He could thank her for everything she’d done, then watch her leave without completely crumbling. Maybe if he was confident enough in himself, Jess thought, it would be so.

Walking up next to her, Jess bit down on his bottom lip and shoved his hands in the pockets of his blazer. His palms were sweaty.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jess said, eyes on the photographs. Immediately, he regretted his words. How cliché could he possibly sound? Usually, the nerves didn’t affect his mouth. But not around Ella.

Though she startled on the inside, Ella didn’t visibly jump. Instead, she cracked a small smile. “And yet, here I am.”

“Didn’t expect to see you.”

“Well,” she said, shrugging, “I’m full of surprises.”

“Stealing my line, huh, Stevens?” he asked.

Still, they hadn’t turned to face each other.

“Funny, I didn’t know you had the trademark,” she quipped.

“Touché,” he said, feigning disappointment.

Smile growing, Ella finally turned to him. “Never thought I’d see Jess Mariano in a suit jacket.”

His hair was cut differently, parted and combed. Not as unkempt as it had once been. He had dark, shadowy stubble on his cheeks. Just as any brooding writer would. Underneath his black jacket, he wore a t-shirt with a black-and-white photo of a little girl smoking a cigarette on a beach. Ella thought she recognized it from one of her art classes, but couldn’t quite place it.

Chuckling under his breath, Jess built up his courage and faced her. “Yeah, well, I guess corporate America finally got to me.”

“I don’t know. I think this place feels pretty counterculture,” she said, eyes flicking around the room again. “Might as well be in the Haight-Ashbury.”

“Coming from you, I feel like that’s meant to be an insult,” he said.

“Trust me, it’s not,” Ella replied, with more sincerity than he was prepared for. Before he could interject with some deflection, she continued on. “I mean...this place. It really feels like you. And the book. It was...fuck, Jess, you’re really too smart for your own good.”

He shook his head, blushing and refusing to meet her gaze. Ella Stevens was still the only person who made him blush nearly every time he spoke to her. “I don’t know. If I could do it again, everything would be different.”

Ella scoffed. “C’mon, Mariano, you and I both know how amazing it is.”

“Whatever you say, Stevens,” he said shyly.

“I’ll keep complimenting you until you accept that you’re a kickass author, who I can definitely tell has a beatnik fetish,” she warned, mock severity crossing her features.

Jess rolled his eyes. “Fine. Thank you, Eleanor.”

“You’re so very welcome,” she replied, eyes alight with a teasing, mischievous glint. But, underneath, Jess could tell how genuine she really was. It made his heart ache for her.

After a moment of awkward pause, charged air, Jess pointed a thumb over his shoulder to the table with the refreshments. “You want a beer?”

Ella shook her head. “No thanks. I don’t really drink.”

“Hm,” Jess hummed, eyes narrowing just a touch. The way she’d said it, he could tell there was more. He knew why she didn’t drink. He remembered her father smelling of liquor on Thanksgiving day. And he remembered how upset she’d been the morning after she stole her father’s tequila. Nostalgia washed over him in a wave, and he was relieved when she took the initiative and spoke again.

“And,” she said, gaining a lighter tone once again, “I’m not of legal age yet, anyway.”

“Oh, well, I certainly couldn’t break the law,” Jess said with a furrowed brow. He was always forgetting he was ten months her senior. She had always seemed older.

“Right,” she said, nodding along, “you wouldn’t dream of it.”

Again, an uncomfortable pause began. It made Ella want to grimace. Things had never been so awkward with the two of them, not even when they’d first met. It had always been easy, without the world complicating things for them. Her eyes did another quick sweep of the room.

“Have you seen Luke and April?” she asked.

Jess nodded. “Yeah, you just missed them. They had to get back to the field trip, I think.”

Ella nodded back in acknowledgement, though she immediately felt her heartbeat quicken. The idea of Luke and April being there as a kind of safety net was half the reason she’d been brave enough to come. But, she’d had a morning shift at the diner, and the traffic had made it so she had shown up only twenty minutes before the end of the open house. All of a sudden, she felt silly for thinking they would still be there. Silly for showing up at all. In the note, he’d said she wasn’t obligated at all. Why had she come again? At the moment, the panicked thoughts were too loud for her to focus on anything else.

“But Luke was here long enough to complain about all the abstract paintings and the spoken word performances,” Jess continued, noticing Ella try to grab for a necklace she wasn’t wearing, and instead fiddle with a lock of her hair. In all the time he had known her, he had never once seen her without the key hanging from her neck. Not even in bed. But he knew better than to ask about it.

Ella’s smile returned, though it was not altogether convincing. “Sounds like him. I think one of the few areas of agreement between the two of you is a natural aversion to poetry.”

Jess shrugged. “I don’t know. I might finally be coming around.” Then, he saw Chris approaching, and felt himself relax. Someone else to act as a buffer. He wasn’t quite ready for the words creeping up his throat, begging to get out. “But, my friend Chris is the real poetry guy. He hires all the acts.”

He gestured for Chris to come over. Ella raised her eyebrows at the man, tall and blonde and grinning widely. A hyper energy practically radiated off of him. She could tell why he was the one on the business end of things.

“Chris, this is Eleanor,” Jess said. “She’s an old friend.”

“Hey.” She extended her hand. “You can call me Ella.”

Somehow, Chris’s smile grew larger as they shook hands. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she replied amiably, as their hands broke from each other.

“You have a very firm handshake,” Chris commented, towering over her. Jess was tall, but this guy made Ella feel like a Polly Pocket figurine.

She snorted a chuckle. “Um, thanks. Guess those steroids are really paying off.”

Jess smirked. Sometimes, he thought Chris was to him as Lane was to Ella. Chris laughed, tickled at her wicked humor, as he called it, but soon his expression grew earnest again.

“Well, it’s good to finally put a face on the famous Eleanor,” Chris said.

“I’m famous?” Ella asked, titing a teasing nod at Jess, who blushed but didn’t have time to explain before Chris cut in again.

“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know the magazine interview went alright. I’m gonna go catch up with the beat poet and make sure everything’s squared away,” Chris told Jess.

Nodding, Jess glared slightly at his friend, unable to hide his irritation. Chris said once again how nice it was to meet Ella before disappearing back into the central swarm of people, though it was slowly dissipating. The afternoon light outside was slowly morphing from bright to dusky. Evening would soon fall.

Smirking, Ella faced Jess again. He made a pointed effort to avoid her gaze, panic rising up in his throat.

“What is it, Stevens?” he asked, sighing slightly.

She cleared her throat, biting on her bottom lip for a moment. “Nothing. Just didn’t realize I was famous around here.”

He rolled his eyes, embarrassed. “Well, I did dedicate my book to you.”

For whatever reason, the comment caught her off-guard. They both knew he had dedicated it to her. But, she couldn’t help but think about how before, Jess would have never been able to admit such a gesture out loud. Hell, at seventeen Jess couldn’t even admit fixing the toaster in the diner for Luke.

“Yeah,” she said slowly, searching for a witty remark but coming up empty. “Yeah, you did, James Dean.”

He faltered for just a moment. She had come, she had called him James Dean. It was confusing, but nonetheless, wonderful. Still, he knew there was no use in getting his hopes up. He would never have her again, he reminded himself. Furrowing her brows, Ella watched his expression fade from a smirk to a small, sad smile. Jess ran a hand over his mouth and tossed an anxious glance over his shoulder before taking a big breath in and blowing it out through his nose.

“Are you nervous?” she asked suddenly, face softening.

Jess nodded self-consciously.

“You don’t have to be, Jess. It’s just me,” she shrugged, gesturing down at herself humbly.

Regaining a touch of composure, Jess raised his eyebrows. “I don’t know. You’ve got bangs and tattoos. New shoes. Doesn’t look quite like my Daria.”

Ella broke into a full grin, and a warmth swelled in her chest like she hadn’t felt in such a long time. Something shifted within her. For a moment, she worried her eyes would fill with tears. But, instead, she only uttered a breathy chuckle. “Don’t worry. I think I’ll always be your Daria.”

Swallowing thickly, Jess echoed her laugh. Then, he looked over his shoulder again, only partly because he wanted to hide his face. He couldn’t risk her seeing hope flash across his expression. “Can I show you something?”

“Sure,” she said, nodding.

Gently, he grabbed her hand and led her through the crowd of young creatives. The room smelled like weathered books and hot ink. An eclectic variety of bohemian rugs covered the blue tile floor. Maybe it was a little more colorful than she would have initially guessed, but Jess truly looked like he belonged there. People waved and nodded greetings at him as they passed, Jess reciprocating shyly each time. It was refreshing. She had never seen him so in his element before. Something about the way he held himself, confident and relaxed. His hand was warm and familiar.

Eventually, they made it to the far wall, near the staircase and next to the small stage area. A few people sat around on the cushions and beanbags, drinking their beers and writing in small moleskine notebooks. She wanted to snort and roll her eyes at them, but she was simply too happy. The anxiety which had been so nauseating as she hesitated at the door was almost completely forgotten. Because Jess was excited to see her. He had taken her hand. When he disentangled their fingers, he gestured to the wall, with a collection of small frames.

As her eyes roamed over the framed sketches, it took her only a moment to recognize them. They were hers. Nine pictures, all those she’d given to Jess over the years. Jess’s car with skeletons in the seats, a screaming woman, a garden filled with snakes. Others she’d handed him in shining moments, lying together in bed, on shift at the diner, sitting in the gazebo with her head on his shoulder. And, in the center, the Hudson River. Drawn on Mother’s Day four years earlier, as they sat together on a dirty hill and escaped reality for just one day.

Before she could hold them back, tears stung her hazel eyes. Beside the arrangement of drawings, she saw a small, printed index card stuck to the wall.

Eleanor Stevens

Nine Untitled Sketches

Not For Sale

She breathed out a flabbergasted scoff, the ghost of a smile on her lips when she turned back to Jess. He smirked fondly at the look of pleasant surprise on her face. For a fleeting moment, she looked younger. Innocent in a way she so rarely was, shocked and alive. He missed that look, but hardly realized until he saw it again.

“Jess, I…” she said breathlessly, shaking her head in disbelief and facing the sketches again. Eventually, she gathered herself and found her words. “I had no idea you saved these.”

“Of course I did,” he said, shrugging as though it were obvious. “I knew they’d be worth millions someday.”

She snorted a laugh. “Not likely.”

“I’m serious, Stevens. People have been asking about these. But I didn’t want to set a price on them or anything, since I didn’t have your input,” Jess explained, eyes on her as she stared at her own past work.

Ella felt as though she might explode, almost too moved to bear. She sniffed and blinked harshly, unwilling to let the tears actually spill over, especially in public. Her hands were shaking at her sides, and she began wringing them together in front of her.

A few astonished giggles escaped her, and she shook her head a final time before she looked back at Jess. He had grown up, and so had she. But as she locked eyes with him, she felt seventeen again, could practically hear the Interpol song playing in her head. The urge to kiss him came over her, made her skin feel tingly and electric. She swallowed harshly, letting the thoughts fade in her mind. As if he had waited all this time for her. He would surely have a girlfriend. Someone who actually liked Hemingway, who could dance, who didn’t have a sailor’s mouth and a broken family.

“I don’t know what to say.” She fought the urge to bite at her nails.

Jess laughed quietly. “I didn’t think that was possible.”

She rolled her eyes at his teasing half-heartedly.

“You don’t have to say anything. I was the one who wanted to say thank you. For everything. I couldn’t have done any of this if I hadn’t met you,” he told her. Jess surprised even himself by being able to maintain eye contact with her.

“You definitely could have,” Ella said resolutely.

He smirked. “No use in arguing with you, I know. So we can agree to disagree but…”

Pausing, Jess sighed and ran a hand over his mouth again. He glanced behind him, and could see Chris and Matthew pretending they hadn’t been staring at the exchange as they bid people goodbye. There were only a few others left milling around. Jess still almost couldn’t believe Ella was standing right in front of him. For two years, he’d imagined what he would say. But, as usual, the sight of her was staggering. Her hazel gaze pierced his scarred heart and immediately all the scripts he’d written disappeared from his head.

“Look, do you...we’re going out for drinks after. Me and Chris and Matthew, the other guy we own this place with. I know drinking isn’t your thing, though I wasn’t planning on getting wasted anyway, and I don’t know when you have to go back but...do you wanna come? We can catch up?” he asked, hesitant.

Her small smile spread to a grin, and the dimple shone in her freckled cheek. “Sure, Mariano. I’d love to.”

#jess mariano fanfiction #jess mariano au #jess mariano imagines #jess mariano #jess #mariano #gilmore girls fanfiction #gilmore girls au #gilmore girls imagines #gilmore girls #gilmore #jess mariano x original character #jess x oc #original character #original character stories #luke danes #lane kim

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athingthatwantsvirginia · 4 years

Text

Oliver Twist and Little Orphan Annie

PART TWENTY OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: discussions of physical/emotional abuse, anxiety about future, serious angst, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 5.8K

Summary: As graduation approaches, Ella and Jess paint a room, and attend a party.

“How have you never painted a room before?” Ella asked, tiling her head at Jess as she guided his hand, armed with a roller, up and down.

A creamy white streaked the wall in stark contrast with the old color, giving off pungent fumes. Her one window was opened all the way, letting in the late May air. Rain poured on Stars Hollow, a thunderstorm which brought humidity and lightning. The sky had faded to a dark greenish-gray, a dull bruise. But Ella felt her spirits lifted high. Lorelai had paint leftover from redoing the Independence Inn following the fire, and she’d given it all to Ella. Sometimes, she didn’t know what she would do without the Gilmore matriarch. If she had to stay in her room during college, the least she could do was have a new mural. Three of the walls would be soft eggshell, while she had yet to decide the exact design of the one behind her bed. She had a lot of purple to use, and was thinking something floral. But the base coat was all they needed for the day.

Jess had volunteered rather than been recruited, but it quickly became clear to Ella that he had no idea what he was doing. His first few strokes were patchy at best, textured at worst. She was thankful Luke hadn’t gotten a new apartment back when they were thinking of moving. The plan then had been to have Jess paint it. Ella could only imagine the quarrels which would have ensued. As she guided Jess’s hand, she maneuvered around the mattress in the center of the room, piled high with almost all her belongings and surrounded by layers of plastic to protect the carpet.

“We can’t all be Michelangelo,” he quipped, frustrated with his clear incompetence. In theory, painting a room evenly wasn’t hard. But, a perpetual renter, he had zero experience. Theory was proving much different than practice.

Ella snorted a laugh. “Jess, it’s not the Sistine Chapel. You’re painting one wall with one color.”

“Easy for you to say. You paint all the time.”

She rolled her eyes. “You didn’t have to help. Just don’t apply too much pressure. We’ll have to do a few coats, but that’s the only way to make it look good.”

“I’ll do my best,” Jess grumbled as she stepped away from him, going to her own paint tray and prepping her roller for the wall next to his.

“I know you will, James Dean,” Ella said, more sincerely than he was expecting.

Smiling a tiny smile, Jess glanced over his shoulder at her. Her hair, held away from her face in a black bandana, fell down her back. The old Pixies t-shirt she wore rose up as she reached high on her tiptoes, exposing the dimples in her back, above the waistband of her worn jeans. His stomach buzzed with pleasant butterflies as he turned back to the wall.

“You write your speech yet?” Jess asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Groaning playfully, Ella shook her head more to herself than to Jess. “No. Not quite ready to pretend to have some inspiring message about the last four years. Also, I’m pretty sure my speech is going to be the last one. I’ll have to follow whatever those student government kids have to say.”

“Well, graduation is still three weeks away. You’ve got some time, Miss Valedictorian,” he said.

“One of four valedictorians,” she reminded him, her tone dismissive. “With the lowest GPA of all four.”

“How many times, Eleanor? It’s still a huge deal.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she said, breathing a soft sigh.

Before Jess could speak again, a quiet knock sounded on the door. Ella’s father didn’t wait to be invited in before he opened the door. Both of them turned and Jess could almost see Ella’s body turn rigid. Jess bit his lip again and put his paint roller down in his tray as Jake Stevens began to speak.

“Hey, Ellie, how’s it going in here?” Jake asked.

“Fine,” Ella shrugged, gazing around the room. “Should be done by tomorrow or day after next.”

Jake nodded. “Good. Don’t want the house smelling like this forever.”

“Right,” she said. “I just figured...white will be a better color for a guest room when I move out, and with the pink gone only one wall will need painting by then.”

“But that won’t be for a while, right?” Jake said, eyebrows raised.

There was almost a warning tone in his voice, Jess thought. In the interactions he’d seen between Ella and her father, it was never blatant. Jake never said anything overtly cruel or malicious, but it was in the way he said things. Like he knew there was nothing his daughter could do to get out from under his thumb. Like he could forever bind her to the role her mother used to fill, the chores and the emotional labor, while still ignoring her as if she didn’t live in the room right next to his. It was such an odd dichotomy.

Jess could definitely understand having a parent who was often neglectful, but there was a strange, controlling element to Jake’s behavior which Jess had never experienced himself. Many of Liz’s boyfriends (and sometimes fiancés, and sometimes husbands) were addicts with less than friendly personalities. But they were never around long enough to establish true manipulation of him. Instead, Jess would fight with them (more often than not, to protect Liz) until they got fed up and left. Then, Liz would blame him for driving the guy away and the cycle would begin again. The last time he’d gotten into a scrap with one of her men, punches had been thrown. Jess had even landed a few himself, but his fighting back proved to be the final straw for Liz. Instead of watching the man walk away from her, she’d sent Jess to Luke. But, of course, she’d moved onto the next one by the time Jess returned to New York following the accident with Rory’s car.

Those men, their main weapon was fear. But Ella’s father wielded guilt instead. He used his words, how he said them, and small actions disguised as discipline, instead of his fists. He loomed over his daughter coldly. She didn’t often talk about it, but Jess knew Ella’s father had slapped her at least once as a child, for talking back to him at the dinner table. She’d made the comment off-handedly, as though it was nothing. As though all parents kept their kids in line using such methods. And she claimed her father hadn’t touched her in anger since, that things were getting better between them, that her father had a hard childhood of his own and he had learned to parent in an abusive environment. But touch wasn’t always the vehicle for household violence. A family could have some kind of love without it being a healthy kind of love. It wasn’t dramatic, he didn’t witness any blow-outs. And though Jake always had a beer in hand when he was home, Ella only shook her head when Jess brought it up, told him her father never got blackout drunk anymore. Not since Fiona came around. But the subtle, warning tone was always there. And Jess could see shades of it every time Jake and Ella spoke to each other.

“Yeah,” Ella said, offering a weak smile. “Not for a while. But I’ll be thanking myself in four years.”

“Smart,” Jake agreed, nodding. Then, he turned to Jess: “And how are you, young man? No college plans I hear?”

“No,” Jess said, shaking his head. “Personally, I think I’m better equipped for trades.”

Again, Jake nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on Jess. “I suppose only time will tell, won’t it?”

“Yes. Yes, it will,” Jess said shortly.

Jake smiled thinly. “Well, I can’t wait to see the room when it’s done. As you were, kids.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Ella said, picking her roller back up as her father shut the door behind him.

Swallowing dryly, she took a second to listen to the rain outside. She flexed her free hand once and then got back to work, humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath. Jess watched, hesitant to say a word. Slowly, he began to paint again, rollers squeaking quietly against the walls.

“I hate it when he calls me ‘young man,’” he said, trying to keep his tone light.

She scoffed. “Wow, I’m shocked.”

“Yes, I’m very unpredictable,” he quipped. “There you go, type-casting me again.”

“Hey, I can’t help it if you’re James Dean back from the dead,” she teased, smirking over at him. “Speaking of which, are you too cool for the party next weekend, or are you gonna come watch Lane play with me?”

Running his free hand over his mouth, Jess locked eyes with her, looking over his shoulder again. “Depends. Are we gonna go make fun of everything like we’re gonna do at prom?”

Ella nodded. “Everything except the music. You can come be a Grinch with me, just like at the diner on Christmas.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“And you don’t get to complain about my driving at prom. It’ll be a station wagon instead of a limo, since your rust bucket is gone,” Ella reminded him. Three weeks prior, Jess had walked out of the diner one morning and found his car gone. He had heard no leads about it since.

He sighed through his nose. “Whatever you say, soccer mom. I’ll get the tickets this week.”

“Okay, but I’m paying you back for mine.”

“If you insist,” he shrugged.

“I do.”

His eyes lingered on her a moment longer as she reached high on the wall. Sidestepping his painting tray, he brought a gentle hand to the small of her back and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Scrunching up her nose, she chuckled and told him not to distract her. And he went back to work laughing.

. . .

Though there were rips in her fishnets, Ella felt an added, confident skip to her step as she passed town square. The Spring Fling festival banner was still hung over the gazebo, though it had ended with a parade the night before. Bunches of flowers still lined the streets, beginning to wilt in the heat of May. In the back of her mind, she worried vaguely about her dark eye makeup melting off in the sunshine. Her Doc Martens squeaked on the tile floor of Luke’s as she waltzed in, breathing a small sigh at the gust of cool air conditioning. She smoothed down her black floral dress, blowing loose strands of hair, which had fallen from her half-up, half-down look, away from her freckled cheeks.

Only a few customers peppered the red tables, and no one occupied the counter. Luke scribbled on his pad as he stood behind the ancient register, preparing to close.

“Hey, Luke,” she called, smiling slightly at him.

He mumbled a greeting to her, not glancing up. Ella scoffed out a laugh at his disinterest, and didn’t bother asking if it was alright before going behind the curtain and trudging up the stairs. He’d been acting off lately, and though she wondered if it was something to do with his lawyer lady friend, she knew better than to ask. She’d spent the afternoon before visiting Julie in New Britain, and he seemed to have cooled off at least a little since she’d last seen him. Granted, it had been a Thursday, inventory day. One could always expect a fair amount of open hostility from Luke on inventory day. Ella could hear the sound of the Sex Pistols before she even neared the apartment door. Only knocking twice, and assuming she wouldn’t be heard over the music anyway, she stepped into the apartment. Jess sat up in his bed, reading Dead Souls, brows furrowed in concentration in spite of the noise.

Smirking, she came over and turned down the music to half volume. He only looked up to see her as Johnny Rotten got quieter, and blinked in surprise at her. She set her bag shoulder bag down on the worn wooden floor and sat at the end of the bed, legs hanging off the side.

“Hey, James Dean,” she said. “More light reading?”

He shrugged. “Seems that way.”

Clicking her tongue, she shook her head to herself. “I can just never stomach the Russians.”

Finally, one corner of his mouth quirked slightly upward. “So unrefined.”

She shrugged. “Maybe someday you’ll convert me.”

“Someday.” Jess put his book on the nightstand and ran a hand over his mouth. “You look ready to rock and roll all night and party every day.”

Rolling her eyes, Ella ignored the (millionth) KISS joke and cast her eyes down to her outfit once more. “Thanks. I was going for sort of a Winona Ryder thing.”

“Aren’t you always?”

“That I am,” she smiled, standing from the bed and holding a hand out to him. “We gotta go if we want to see the full set.”

Sighing through his nose, he grabbed her hand to pull himself up and nodded.

“Oh, and I finished my speech today,” she said as she watched him go over to the dresser to change out of the shirt he’d worn on shift and into his Metallica tee.

“Huh.”

“If you wanna read it before graduation, I can give you inside access,” she teased. “Or you can be surprised at the actual ceremony.”

“As long as it doesn’t mention me,” he muttered as he changed and checked his hair in the mirror.

She snorted a laugh. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mariano.”

Watching his reflection in the mirror, she saw a half hearted smirk cross his face. It didn’t reach his eyes. He ran a hand over his mouth again as he appraised his reflection, and Ella’s brows furrowed in concern.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He turned back to her and gave an unconvincing nod. “Fine.”

“Really? We don’t have to go if you’re not okay, y’know. I mean, I want to see Lane play, but in general I think parties are meaningless excuses for teenage debauchery.”

Jess didn’t look back at her when he spoke, turning off his music and going over by the door to grab his shoes. “We’re going. I know how much you wanna see Lane.”

Biting the inside of her cheek, she noticed the storms brewing in his brown eyes. His face was slightly pale. He looked exhausted. When he straightened up, shoes on, she went over and put her hand to his cheek.

“Do you feel sick?” she asked, feeling him lean into her touch though he wasn’t feverish. “You were fine Thursday night, but you closed alone. Did you get to sleep afterwards? I know sometimes if you work too late you can’t get to sleep-“

“Eleanor,” he cut her off, his voice tired, “I’m fine. Let’s just go. Please.”

Raising at a hesitant brow at the shortness of his tone, she bit her tongue and nodded slowly. He certainly didn’t seem fine, but they would be late if they waited much longer. And Lane was counting on her being there. Jess grabbed her hand and led her out of the apartment. And when he felt her give his hand a reassuring squeeze, he had to swallow down the myriad of emotions which rose in his throat.

. . .

Lane’s band, which still had yet to earn a name, got through the first set with little to no bumps in the road. The living room was stuffy, a suburban wet dream filled to the brim with drunk students. An ever-present smile shone on Ella’s face as she watched her friend banging it out on the drums, despite how much she disliked the stickiness of the atmosphere. She knew how much Lane had always wanted this, her own band, her own instrument. As they finished up with their first thirty minutes, having announced an intermission, Dave Rygalski walked by her, Jess, and Rory with a nod. Ella was glad Jess and Dave had been getting along so well. If Jess was going to stay in Stars Hollow for the foreseeable future, he had to have some other friends besides her and Rory. As soon as Lane hopped up from her drums, she came squealing over to the three of them in excitement, engulfing Rory in a hug. However, before she had too much of a chance to babble about the set, Dave whisked her away for a private conversation.

Rory smiled over at Jess and Ella weakly when she saw Dean nearing their vicinity with his new girlfriend, Lindsey, and quickly retreated to another room. Ella leaned back against Jess, who stood behind her, near the pristine couch, with his arms wrapped around her waist. She could feel his breathing against her back, smell his pine scent. And she thought for the first time in a very long time that the future might not just be survivable, but bright. Soon, she would be a high school graduate, be (tentatively) majoring in history, which had been her second-best subject in public school, still working at the diner. It wasn’t what her wildest dreams called for, but it certainly wasn’t bleak.

Jess’s breath was hot on her neck as he spoke into her ear, which was still buzzing from the loud music and the crowd. “You wanna go?”

She shook her head against his chest. “I think we should stay for the second set. And I haven’t even gotten a chance to talk to Lane yet. She’ll probably need my sage wisdom after whatever she and Dave are talking about.”

“Elle, I don’t-”

Before he could finish, he saw Dean and Lindsey heading directly for them. Ella could feel Jess’s muscles instantly tense, his hands tightening around her own, his face stony. She knew how the feud started, with Dean trying to pull Jess away from a fight when Jess first came to town. But, then again, she had once gotten him off of Peter Smith. Only then, he didn’t take a swing at her like he had at Dean. If Jess hadn’t changed so much since then, and Dean hadn’t been such an asshole to Rory, she probably would’ve been on Dean’s side. But in the few times she’d heard Jess and Dean speak, she knew there was fault on both sides. And she was inclined to align with one of her best friends and her boyfriend before some possessive dick from Chicago.

“Hey, guys,” Dean began, his hand in Lindsey’s grasp as they ambled over. “Have you seen Rory?”

Ella actually liked Lindsey. They’d been acquaintances in high school (though in a class of only about seventy kids, one was usually acquaintances with everyone else), and had always thought her very sweet. And she could rock the bleach blonde look like no one else in their grade. It was certainly a style choice Ella could admire.

Ella shrugged. “She’s around here somewhere. Why?”

“Just thought I’d say hello,” Dean replied, eyes searching the room for his ex-girlfriend, while his new girlfriend stood at his side.

“How sweet of you,” Jess said, venom in his voice.

Ella cleared her throat and pivoted the conversation before Dean could shoot anything back. “Yeah, anyway, you guys like the band?”

“Oh, they were great. I can’t say I recognized a lot of the songs, though,” Lindsey smiled, her voice light.

Nodding, Ella attempted a generous smile back. “Don’t feel bad. Lane knows every song in the English language. And some in pretty much every other language, too. There are bound to be some deep cuts in their repertoire, if she has any say in the set lists.”

Lindsey chuckled.

“So, Ella, I heard you’re going to Southern Connecticut State?” Dean asked, continuing the small talk despite the thick tension in the air.

Still, Ella forced a plastic smile on her face. She knew Rory wouldn’t want her causing any trouble, as the heartbreak was still so fresh. And she’d been able to master her people-pleasing artificiality after her years of serving Taylor at the diner.

“Yeah. Managed to score a spot.”

“Me too,” Dean said. “What are you going for?”

“History.”

“Oh, cool. I’m thinking maybe business, but I’m not entirely sure yet.” Dean had at some point focused his attention away from Ella and onto Jess, who still had his arms wrapped around Ella, watching the awkwardness silently. He just wanted whatever small town, false polite nonsense which was necessary to be over. “What about you, Jess?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not going to college or anything, right? Seems like you’re not going to school at all anymore, anyway.” Dean narrowed his eyes at Jess, and a momentary staring contest ensued.

Disentangling himself from Ella, Jess decided not to humor Dean’s attempt to rile him. “I’m gonna go check out the state of that bathroom line,” he muttered to Ella before trudging off.

Brows furrowing in concern, Ella's eyes lingered on him as he went, until he turned a corner and she lost sight of him. Huffing out an angry breath, she turned back to Lindsey, and Dean, who had a pleased expression on his face. Shaking her head, mostly to herself, she excused herself to go find Lane, maneuvering through the sweaty bodies and drunken mumbles.

. . .

Balmy air and crickets, Ella finally found Jess again out on the back porch. Most people were inside, gearing up for the band’s second set. She’d had to spend a pretty long time pulling a drunken Lane off the phone to her mother, aided by a still-shaken Rory. The evening seemed to have come to a screeching halt in the hour since the first set, and Ella was debating grabbing Jess’s hand and dragging him out. It was doubtful Lane would be conscious enough to make it through a song, let alone a second set. When Ella didn’t see his gelled black curls in the living room sea of teenage heads, she knew right where Jess would be. The night was pleasant, not quite too warm or humid, despite it being late May.

He stood with his forearms leaned against the railing, facing the lush green backyard, and he didn’t even look back when he heard her open and close the screen door. Ambling up next to him, her boots felt heavy on her feet. The air was cool on her hot skin, and the spring breeze blew her hair from her face. Arms against the polished wooden rail, mirroring him, she waited a few moments before finally speaking in a soft tone. She tilted her head to the red solo cup Jess held in his hands.

“Penny for a sip?” she asked.

Jess smirked. Saying nothing, he held the cup out to her. Taking a gulp of his slightly warm beer, she grimaced and then handed it back to him.

“Thank you, good sir.”

“Who are you? Oliver Twist?”

She shrugged, noncommittal. “Or Little Orphan Annie. Can’t keep my broadway straight. You could probably help me out.”

“Very funny, Stevens,” he said, a ghost of a smile on his face. But it didn’t meet his eyes. They lacked their usual sardonic sparkle, even in the glowing moonlight.

Leaning into his shoulder, Ella took in another deep breath of the fresh air. “What are you doing out here, James Dean? Did you not bring your sulking book?”

“Just couldn’t handle it inside.” He took another swig of his drink, emptying the cup, and set it carefully on the railing next to him.

“Was it Dean?” Ella asked, placing a hand on the back of his neck and running her fingers through the ends of his hair.

Jess glanced down at the ground with a bitter chuckle. “You think I actually care about Frankenstein’s monster in there?”

She scoffed knowingly. “Okay, fair enough. We can go soon, if you want. Lane’s wasted and Rory’s all messed up about Dean being here. And, I think I forgot to feed the cat? I have no idea why I let him stay in our house. He showed up right after my mom died, and kept hanging around our porch. He was already so old and he was so skinny. So I started letting him in when it got colder. My dad barely even noticed. I thought he’d be grateful, but now he hates us. Guess there was a lot of yelling and crying going on when he first came to live with us. But I suppose misery loves company-”

“I just…” Jess began, cutting off her rambling voice. He knew she was still waiting for an answer, but didn’t want to ask him another question. “You work your ass off for four years, and Dean still gets into the same college as you.”

Ella shrugged. “I don’t mind. There’s lots of people there. I probably won’t ever see him.”

“At least he’s finishing high school,” Jess muttered, shaking his head to himself and looking down at his hands, clenching and unclenching them in fists.

Brows furrowed, Ella’s hand fell from his skin and she tilted her head in askance. “What do you mean?”

He heaved a big sigh, looking out into the woods beyond the yard. Somewhere through the trees, he thought he could see the shine of the lake. An ache tugged at his heart, and his stomach did a flip before he spoke again.

“I went to get prom tickets when you were in the art room at lunch today. But then I got called to the principal’s office. He said I missed too many days.”

“And?”

Chewing on his bottom lip, he shook his head again. “Don’t make me say it, Elle.”

Pursing her lips, she brought her hands to her hips and nodded. “Guess you’ll need my speech in advance, then.”

“Guess so,” he echoed flatly, finally stealing a glance at her to gauge her reaction. With her strong stance, he could practically see the gears moving inside her head. There was a crease of concentration between her eyebrows, and she began biting at her nails absently.

“And you haven’t told Luke yet?” she asked.

“Nope.”

Again, she nodded, more decisive this time. “Okay...okay. I wish you could stay with me, but my dad will have you dead inside a day. I bet if you take twelfth grade over Luke’ll let you stay. I mean, I know he tries to act all tough, but I don’t know who he thinks he’s kidding.”

Jess straightened up again, running a hand over his mouth. He turned to face her. “I’m not going back to school. I can’t.”

“Of course you can, Jess. World bites you, you bite back.”

“Fine, then. I won’t.”

“Why not? Where are you gonna go?”

He could only shrug in response, looking back down at his shoes. Sometimes her gaze was so intense, even he couldn’t handle it. Usually, though, it was because of butterflies in his stomach, not because his heart was pounding nervously in his ears.

Swallowing dryly, she tried to maintain a calm facade. “No, Jess. You can’t do that Kerouac bullshit right now. You need a plan. I mean…” she paused to sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You told me you had it under control. You told me all I had to do was trust you.”

Closing his eyes for a moment, he composed himself and then wiped all emotion from his face when he looked back up at her. “I thought I did. I didn’t know how many days I missed, alright? But who cares! I never learned anything there anyway! It was a waste of my time!”

“And driving that forklift at Walmart forever isn’t a waste of your time?” she retorted, beginning to raise her voice. “If it made you happy, I’d say go for it. But it doesn’t! You’re too fucking smart for your own good, Mariano! You’re meant to be a writer! And you’re gonna settle on wasting your brain just because you were too proud to repeat senior year?!”

“Don’t talk to me about settling!” he countered, shaking his head.

“Fuck you, Jess,” she said, eyes narrowing as more blood rushed to her face, turning her skin scarlet with frustration. “Not everyone can just go wherever they want! Live wherever they want! I have people I actually care about!”

Rubbing at his mouth again, he sighed. “Yeah, well, lucky you! My mother is a wackjob who shipped me off because her boyfriend of the week didn’t like me! And my father is a fucking loser who couldn’t say more than two words when he finally met me!”

Ella took a step back in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

Jess breathed another exhausted sigh. “On Thursday, after you left. While I was closing. My dad came in, saw me for the first time in eighteen years. He told me who he was, took a good long look at me, and then ran right back out of the diner!”

There was a seismic shift in her face, eyes softening, color draining. Shaking her head, she went to touch his shoulder. “Oh my god, Jess. I didn’t-”

He shrugged off her hand. “Yeah, you didn’t know. Because I didn’t tell you. Because I’m just your deadbeat, high school dropout boyfriend who’s gonna work at Walmart for the rest of his life! How disappointing!”

“That’s not what I said!” she exclaimed, swallowing back the sting of tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, well, I can read between the lines pretty well at this point, honey,” he shot back, with a vicious, contemptuous tone.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she tried to remain calm. She tried to remember Jess had just failed senior year and met his dad for the first time in a span of two days. But, as always, the fire in her stomach won. It was something about the way he looked at her. So cold. Like he felt nothing for her at all. Her heart dropped and she began to back away, towards the screen door.

“Fine. Fuck it! Go and find yourself. While I stay here, and think about what a fucking mistake it was to trust you when we said no cop-outs! Serves me right. Holden fucking Caulfield!” she shouted, slamming the sliding door behind her.

Raking a hand through his messy hair, Jess took no more than one moment of hesitation before rushing after her. It was crowded inside, people standing around waiting for a second set which would likely never be played. After a little frantic searching and weaving through smelly bodies, he found her. She was marching up the stairs to find Rory, who stood looking exceedingly uncomfortable speaking with Dean and Lindsey on the landing. Ella tugged on Rory’s sleeve, muttering something about finding Lane and leaving the drums to pick up later. A scowl crossed her face the moment she looked back to see Jess.

“Did he do something, Ella?” Dean piped up, towering over her and casting an authoritative glance at Jess.

Ella snorted a laugh and shook her head. “You can stand down, Dean. He did nothing. Nothing at all. Fuck off, alright, Mariano?”

Catching the finitive, vitriolic tone in Ella’s voice, Jess shook his head back at her. Apparently she had decided the conversation was over. “Right back at ya, then, Stevens.”

But as he went to leave, Dean kicked into action. Before Ella, Rory, or Lindsey, could grab him and pull him back, he went into full testosterone rage and lunged after Jess, turning him about and clocking him square across the face. Ella watched in horror, and immediately went after them. Confusion painted her face. She heard Dean muttering under his breath as he fought, about what an asshole Jess was, about how Rory’s friends were his responsibility too, and they shouldn’t be spoken to that way. About how it was time Jess got a taste of his own medicine, making him feel like an idiot in class and acting like he was too good for Stars Hollow. She’d never had any classes with Dean and Jess, but the altercation made her wonder how deeply the feud ran. Apparently, much deeper than she ever thought. If not for the urgency of the situation, Ella would have rolled her eyes harder than she had prior known was humanly possible. She couldn’t help but wonder what at all Rory or Lindsey saw in that sexist prick. In Ella’s opinion, the Donna Reed Show incident two years earlier should’ve been the end of the relationship.

All around the house, they fought, various others trying to pull them off of each other. Each time Ella thought she had an opening to grab Dean or Jess around the waist, they moved, jostling around. It was far more intense than the quarrel in the schoolyard had been. No, tonight there would be blood drawn. Finally, after a decent amount of carnage to the mid-century Connecticut two-story, someone managed to throw the two of them out onto the front lawn, still at each other’s throats. Ella yelled endlessly for them to stop, but neither listened. Only the sound of the police sirens approaching, red and blue lights flashing on the manicured grass, finally made them separate, a few boys at the party also aiding the effort.

Just as Ella started rushing over to Jess, Lane began vomiting up the shitty keg beer she’d gulped down all night long into the trimmed bushes. Rory was by her side, but ultimately Ella cast only a sympathetic glance their way before continuing after Jess. She caught up with him a few paces down the sidewalk, grabbing the sleeve of his t-shirt to finally stop him.

“Jess, Jesus, are you okay?” she demanded, trying to get a substantial glimpse at his face.

Once again, he shook off her touch. He turned back to her in the light of the sheriff’s car, eyes darker than she had ever seen them. “Get outta here, Eleanor! I don’t need your help!”

“But, your-”

“Stop, Elle, just stop!” he interrupted, gesturing with his arms and practically bursting with anger. “Stop chasing after me! Stop trying to help me! That’s over! I don’t need it, alright? You can just fucking stop!”

Clutching at her necklace, she felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach, gluing her to the spot where she stood, hazel eyes impossibly wide. Watching him go, watching him disappear around a corner, watching him walk away. And the worst part was how unsurprised she felt. Had it always been this way? Him ready to leave at a moment’s notice, and her stuck in her old, familiar ways? Were they bound to end the moment they began? She should have seen it sooner. Suddenly, the sounds of the siren and the singing of late spring crickets overwhelmed her ears, and she could do nothing but stand motionless, feeling a sharp crack in her heart.

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