#lost dog found unfortunately caught in the narrative again

[tiredassmage]

the nathema conspiracy.meme

[rainythefox]

Nightfall (Ch.7)

Synopsis: Pre-Resident Evil 1, slight-AU/Canon divergence. Claire Redfield comes home to visit her brother Chris for the holidays but gets caught up in a dangerous game of cat and mouse with Albert Wesker, the Captain of STARS, after stumbling upon dark secrets. She can't call the law; Wesker is the law, and she can't tell Chris. She is trapped...

Pre-RE1/RE2 fanfic. Wesker/Claire, Chris/Jill

Story Link

Chapter 7: The Woman in the Red Dress

It was a slow process to clean Claire's wounds and bandage them. Claire fidgeted the entire time as Wesker tended to her. He scolded her once, but she was more surprised by how gentle and proficient he was in the entire task. Wesker cleaned up the mess in the house afterwards while Claire remained on the couch, arms hugged to her chest, eyes going from her fresh bandages to the STARS Captain moving about. Pain pulsed from her ankle and hand but the wounds were much better now that they were bandaged. She was lucky. She didn’t need but a few stitches in her leg, and her hand had only a shallow gash.

The Doberman lied across from her on the floor, snout resting on one paw, amber eyes flicking from her to his master in the other room. Eventually, Wesker returned to the den, carrying Claire's boots and jacket that she had left on the back porch. He hung her jacket up, and placed her boots by the front door. The STARS Captain sat down across from her, the leather sofa bending to his weight. Odin lifted his head and peered at his master, his elegant, sleek head shiny and clean as he licked his chops. Wesker petted the Doberman around the tall, cropped ears, his dark smile directed towards Claire.

"So, I'm curious what story you plan to give Chris yet again for the trouble you keep getting yourself into."

Claire’s mouth fell slightly open, gawking at him. "You're…j-just going to let me go again?"

Wesker leaned back on the sofa. God were his grey-blue eyes piercing. "You are by no means getting out of punishment, dear heart. Everything you do has a consequence. You have value to me. However, if you do start to become more trouble than you are worth…which you came dangerously close to in your little “breaking and entering” escapade, then I will kill you. And that means dear big brother will have to follow. Do I make myself clear, Ms. Redfield?"

Claire ground her teeth. "Crystal. Fucking. Clear."

He sneered at her choice of words. "Good, so you better start coming up with a convincing narrative within the next few minutes."

Claire thought, mind racing for something believable. In the back of her mind she knew that Chris wasn't going to let this one go so easily. It didn't help that Wesker was getting more amusement out of this than she wanted. How was she supposed to explain her ankle and hand to her brother? A random attack from a strange dog on a normal walk could seem logical, but it wasn't likely, especially without making a scene. Chris would want details and proof. She couldn't just tell him that and expect him to shake his head. Chris would want to know where, what kind of dog, who owned it and what happened to the dog and if she called animal control or went to the hospital.

As she contemplated, Odin got to his paws with a soft growl-turned-whine, nails clicking on the wood floor as he trotted over to the front door. Wesker and Claire looked over just as the doorknob jingled. It opened soon after, and William Birkin stumbled in carrying an armload that included papers and folders, a set of keys, and a canteen of coffee. 

A donut was wedged in his mouth and it muffled his cheerful greeting. "Alright, got the body bags and it’s all clear to dump the body in the sewers below the Traini-” He stopped abruptly as soon as he spotted Claire on the couch.

The eccentric researcher looked between her and Wesker, arms shaking from balancing the mess in his arms as he took the donut from his mouth. He cleared his throat, casually smiled, and decided to say hello to the patient Doberman that was eyeing his breakfast.

"Hello, Odin! No, you cannot have my donut!" He patted the dog’s head and came around to Claire and Wesker. He frowned at his best friend after giving first Claire and then the living room a confused look over. "I thought you said someone broke into your house?"

Wesker sighed. "Why else would Claire be here?"

"Oh, well I'm surprised she's still alive." William produced a small, handsome smile for Claire. “No offense."

"None taken," Claire mumbled, surprised herself really.

Wesker stood up. His powerful, towering form had her heart flip flopping as he moved by her like a silent apex predator. "William, I need for you to drop Ms. Redfield off at her house. I must return to work."

William munched on his donut with a mild glare at his partner. "But I'm already an hour late to the lab! Trying to help you, no less. I mean do you ever think of body bags, Al? No, I do.”

“Then transport this quite alive body back to her home, no body bag required,” Wesker countered.

“Hey. Those spermatozoa are not gonna fertilize those ova by themselves, you know!" He winked at Claire. "I was not describing sex, per se, but that's the best way I can describe it without giving away any confidential details within my experiments."

"It's on the way, Will. Besides, the less chances of anyone seeing Claire and I together, the better. You are a stranger and so it wouldn’t draw as much attention.”

"Yeah, what's she going to tell her brother? That she's having an affair with a married man?" William snorted. He received glares from both Claire and Wesker. "Alright, alright, jeez! But you owe me for this, Albert! Big time! Like pick up Sherry from school for me one day or kill Victor Ulmer because he’s  so annoying for me big!"

Wesker ignored the frustrated researcher and turned to Claire. "Your lives are on the line, dear heart. Better have a convincing story to tell Chris by the time he gets home tonight. You still have no evidence against me. If I were you, I would not want Chris getting suspicious."

Claire slowly nodded, heart heavy and head hurting. She almost jumped when Wesker tenderly ran his fingers through her loose hair falling from her ponytail around her face. Again, her body reacted in tingling ways. He went over to the door and Claire noticed the small, pink backpack once again, the one she used as a shield against Odin, now ripped and torn. Wesker picked it up and shoved it hard into William’s chest, making his friend nearly lose his armful.

“Oof!”

“Sherry’s going to need a new backpack, thanks to Claire.”

William huffed, still trying to balance everything in his arms, glaring at his partner, and hobbled for the front door, mumbling under his breath.

SB...Sherry must be his daughter...

Claire followed William, looking down at the sitting Doberman. The dog cocked his head at her, peering at her curiously. Claire gingerly reached down at petted Odin on the head. He was tense at first but then quickly sniffed her hand and licked it. 

She gave one last look to Wesker, whose intense gaze remained on her. She couldn’t quite define it, his eyes on her felt predatory, but she felt he was going for a different kind of kill…She quickly grabbed up her stuff and left the house, if only to get away from his eyes that seemed to set her blood aflame, and got into William's BMW M3.

**********

The ride home with William was quiet only until the car was out of Aspen Circle before William started gabbing. Claire quickly got lost in his rambling, looking out the window and trying to think of what she was going to tell her brother. After yet another failed attempt to expose Wesker, Claire wondered if she was ever going to free herself and Chris. It seemed Wesker was always a few steps ahead. What Claire needed to do was find a way to get a few steps ahead of the crooked STARS Captain himself. She recalled Annette Birkin’s words when she was in the underground laboratory.

What was it called? NEST?

Annette had warned her to obey Wesker and not try and beat his game, that she would live longer if she did. Living longer still meant she would die in the end. She also said that the three people who knew Wesker the best and could help her escape were William, Colonel Sergei, and Ada Wong.

William was too loyal to Wesker and his research to help her. She glanced at William as he talked about earthworms and something she couldn't keep up with. His loyalty and friendship with Wesker wasn’t forced, blackmailed, or reined through fear or control. Which meant Claire wouldn’t be able to change his mind, whether he liked her or not. And she highly doubted she could find a way to turn them against each other. Both men were insanely clever, and knew each other just as much as they knew themselves. Like how Chris and Jill could almost know what the other was thinking, or could talk with silent cues and looks, Wesker and William were the same way, Claire deduced. It was a shame, for William was probably her best shot…

Colonel Sergei Vladimir, on the other hand, would kill her if he found out about her at all. The incident involving him within the walls of NEST convinced Claire that she certainly needed to avoid him. That was unfortunate as well, for Claire sensed that Sergei was digging for a way to get rid of Wesker once and for all…

And then there was the mysterious Ada Wong. All Annette had said about her was that if Claire had managed to meet Ada then she would be too deep in this mess to get out alive.

How far does this rabbit hole go? Claire was frustrated. Part of her wanted to dig deeper in all of this, find out what they were all hiding, expose whatever conspiracy that hid underneath Raccoon City. But another part of her was willing to let it all go if she could just get away from Wesker and return to her normal life, safe with her brother.

There were risks and dangers no matter what she did, even doing as Wesker said. It was all so confusing and stressful. Claire was lost on what to do.

As Claire pointed out Chris's house, William pulled up against the curb and looked over at her. "Well, here ya are. Good luck with your story for your brother. Just don't tell him it was Bigfoot. I tried that once, it didn't work."

When she didn’t answer at first, still mulling over her thoughts, lost, depressed, the researcher frowned and put the car in park. He sighed, turning slightly towards her. “I wish there was a way I could wipe your memory and let you go. I really do. You’re a nice girl...but...I can’t go against Albert. He’s my brother…He’s saved my life, my family, we’ve been through literal hell together.”

When she looked at him, his smile was small, sincere…piteous.

“I just want my life back.”

He slowly nodded, frowning. “I would take you at your word that wouldn’t tell a soul, Claire…but…”

“It’s not enough for Wesker, is it?”

William lowered his eyes. “That isn’t the problem with him. You unfortunately intrigue him in some way, and he wants to use you for something…something even  I don’t know about.”

“He said I could buy back my freedom if I did as he said. But surely he doesn’t mean that?”

William shrugged. “Albert’s word fluctuates…depends on who it is. His word is solid with me, but could be deceptive with another. Depends on what it gets him in the end, I suppose. I will tell you this…the more he likes you, the more probable his word is truthful. And contrary to what it looks like, Claire, Al likes you a lot. You would’ve been dead a long time ago if he didn’t.”

He noticed the way she flinched. Wesker liked her? Yeah, right… Probably for amusement and nothing more. She was something he could use, exploit…she was a tool to him.

“Yeah, for some kind of twisted entertainment, I’m sure.”

“Maybe a little,” Will admitted with a chuckle. “But he’s way more complex than that. Trust me, it’s a good thing he likes you…play it right, and you and your brother may just make it out of this alive. There’s something special about you, Claire…even I can see that. Al knows what it is, and he’s giving you a chance that he’s never given anyone else. Remember that.”

Claire slowly nodded, her gut twisting and heart somersaulting at the same time from his words. She pulled on the door handle to get out and then paused, looking at the eccentric researcher as he opened a water bottle to get a drink.

“Who’s Ada Wong?”

William choked, sputtering and dribbling water on his shirt. His eyes went wide, coughing as he wiped his shirt. “Uh, A-Ada who? She sounds Chinese. I can’t speak Chinese. Albert can, but I can’t! I don’t know this lady!”

“Whoa, settle down,” Claire replied. “Annette mentioned her when we spoke yesterday. She said you, that Sergei guy, and Ada know Wesker best. How he works anyway…”

He squinted one eye, wary. “As in…to help you?”

Claire shrugged.

“She is the only one to beat Al at his own game.” He noticed the way Claire lit up and quickly added, “ But  they are allies. Besides…she’s bad news. Even more so than Sergei.”

Claire deflated, slowly nodding. Well, it was worth a try. She pulled the car door open and went to get out, but William wasn’t done.

“Take my word, Claire… please. Just listen to Albert. It’s your best bet.”

Claire weakly smiled at him. “Thanks, William.”

She got out of the car and shut the door. William pulled away and drove off. Claire watched him go, a frown slowly taking over. Never had Claire ever felt so alone and lost. If only she could turn back time or wish herself out of this.

But this isn’t a storybook, she thought. No fairy godmother or knight can save me from this dragon…No matter what…I have to protect Chris…

“You didn’t have to come all the way down here just to have lunch with me.”

John Clemens was a simple man. Smart and not bad looking. He was good-natured and not all that ambitious, odd for the type of work he did in the subterranean research department beneath the Spencer estate. Most of all, he was boring. And given the type of men that Ada Wong spent most of her time with, this was what she loved about John the most.

She smiled. “I promised, didn’t I?”

The fancy Umbrella cafeteria had quite a few other patrons enjoying their meals around them. And most were still nose deep in their work and notes even as they ate. John returned the Eurasian beauty’s smile, placing her plate and drink in front of her before sitting down with his.

Ada wore a slimming red dress that stopped just above her knees, black leggings, and black fur-lined boots. A black fur coat and red scarf was sat aside in her seat, as it was plenty warm down here in the underground facility.

“I know, but you just got back from assignment, and well, you should rest awhile.”

Ada sipped on her water. “I’m flattered, John. But I’ll be okay. How are things holding up with you?”

“Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines,” John shook his head. “We’re all exhausted. But making headway.”

“You’ll get through it. You always do.”

“We make do,” John joked. “We aren’t Spencer’s golden-boy like Birkin is. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to work in a state-of-the-art facility such as the NEST. Must be nice.”

“Why don’t you ask for a transfer? You and William get along pretty well.”

“William’s fine when he’s by himself...usually. Not so much with Wesker around. Nothing but trouble, them two together. I want no part in it. People end up dead or missing with them involved.”

Ada jabbed her fork into her grilled chicken salad, smiling in amusement. “Oh John. They’re harmless.”

“Harmless? Are we talking about the same fellas here? You do know that Wesker killed Finley the other day, right? And it’s not the first time he’s sent someone to the morgue. Rumor is he killed Crawford, too. Guy can literally get away with murder and Spencer doesn’t even bat an eye.”

“It’s Albert’s job to eliminate threats. Just as mine. You have nothing to worry about. He’s a teddy bear, you just have to know how to deal with him.” She winked at her lunch date.

John’s brows rose to his hairline. “I…honestly can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

Ada laughed. “Eat your food.”

They both ate their lunch and caught up since Ada had been gone for nearly three weeks on missions. John rambled about mostly boring things, but Ada let him, because the spark in his eye to have someone to talk to that wasn’t work related made her feel good. Made her feel as though she was making his day.

But it soon came to an end when the cafeteria grew quiet, a dark figure emerging into the vastly white-walled hall. Colonel Sergei Vladimir peered around, and when his one icy gray eye spotted Ada and John, he marched their way. John hunkered like a frightened rabbit. Ada sighed, unintimidated and got a drink of her water. She assumed he was searching for her.

When the tall, burly man reached their booth, he only glared momentarily at John before focusing on the female agent. “Ada Wong.”

Ada smiled sardonically at him, bobbing one crossed leg. “Why if it isn’t the big bad, scary leader of the UBCS. How may I help you, Colonel?”

“Due to the recent murder of a researcher and the possible research breach, clearance to this laboratory is written permit only. And you did not get that clearance from me.”

“Hmm…forgive me, Colonel, but last I recall, you're not my supervisor. You have a problem with it, go to Lord Spencer.”

John gave her a look as though she was crazy to poke the bear towering over them.

Sergei only chuckled at her words. “Funny you should mention Lord Spencer. I have a job for you, one he has approved. Shall we, gospozha?”

Ada sighed, frowning. “There goes my vacation. Please excuse me, John. I’m sorry.”

She got up. The simple, boring researcher she actually liked merely smiled and nodded. “It’s alright, Ada. It was nice seeing you. Take care.”

“Don’t overwork yourself, hun,” she said and pecked him chastely on the cheek before grabbing up her coat and scarf and leaving the cafeteria with Sergei.

She followed the Colonel all the way up to the surface and back into the Spencer estate. For the time of day it was, many residents were out and about, coming and going within the labyrinth of hallways and grand rooms. And while Sergei didn’t bother greeting anyone as he led her to his office, Ada wasn’t shy and greeted most people she knew.

Sergei’s office was once a study, turned more into an armory. He had a large mahogany desk with some chairs and he offered her a seat before sitting himself. Ada crossed one leg when she sat, looking about. It had been awhile since she had last been here. Sergei’s choice in interior decorating was still atrocious.

“So, what’s this big, secret mission you want me to do?” Ada asked, half bored.

Sergei placed his massive fists on the desk, lacing them, staring directly at her, expression unreadable. “As you already know, Melvin Crawford was murdered last week.”

Ada contained the urge to roll her eyes. “Yes. There’s been an investigation and there was evidence of him selling classified information, as you’ve stated earlier. So what? He was a threat and a nuisance in my humble opinion.”

“I have evidence and resources that may prove otherwise,” Sergei said. “I simply want to make sure that ‘ol Crawford gets the justice he deserves.”

“Oh, boy. So where does that put me?”

“Lord Spencer recently permitted Wesker and Birkin to eliminate Ned Finley in response to the threat of a research breach.”

“Good for them. I hated that guy.”

Sergei glared at her. “Finley may have also been wronged, Miss Wong. You fail to see where I am going with this.”

The female spy did roll her eyes that time, and she sat more forward next, staring the Colonel directly in the eye. “I know exactly where this is going. You want me to snoop around on Albert, and see if he’s behind any of this.”

Sergei softly chuckled. “Well, in a way, you are correct. But there is something else. Wesker may have a civilian who witnessed him killing Finley under his control. He was supposed to dispose of her, and I have a feeling he never did. I want you to find out if she is still alive and what he plans on doing with her. If she is alive I want you to dispose of her and bring any and all evidence against Wesker to me.”

Ada laughed. “So let me get this straight. You want me to spy on and find evidence against a man who manipulates evidence and does counterintelligence on a daily basis? Sounds like you're grasping for straws here, Colonel.”

“Oh, but you’re the best, gospozha. That’s what Lord Spencer said.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me.”

“Well, to be honest, I did have one problem with you doing this assignment. I hear you and Wesker are close. There’s rumors of an affair and everything.”

Ada smirked. “Why Colonel, that sounds scandalous! But a lady never kisses and tells, don’t you know that?”

“Will this be a conflict of interest for you, Miss Wong?”

The agent leaned back in her chair, arms casually melding over the arm rests, a crimson smile concealing secrets. “Of course not. It is my duty to serve Lord Spencer, not matter what.”

Sergei studied her, digging for deceit. But he wouldn’t find it, for Ada Wong was like a chameleon, always shifting seamlessly in disguises.

He finally nodded, expression unreadable. “Meet with Chief Irons. He’ll fill you in on all the details. In confidence, Miss Wong. We cannot let Wesker get wind of this.”

Ada stood gracefully, hips slightly swaying as she departed. “I don’t tell you how to do your job, Colonel, so don’t tell me how to do mine.” She paused briefly in the threshold, glancing back at him. “And seriously, hang a few pictures or get a few potted plants, your office is such a drag.”

She left, conveniently missing the dark smirk on the Colonel’s face and the whispered “zmeya” to her back.

Her heels clicked loudly on the wooden floors of the estate. Ada frowned, knowing she had her work cut out for her. Albert, what the hell are you up to now?

After her morning of pure hell, Claire, defeated, reluctantly licked her wounds while also struggling to come up with an explanation for Chris. When nothing would come to her, she decided to stop fretting and tried to get her mind off of things. She read for awhile, talked to some friends on the phone. Studying didn’t work much. Seemed like survival was more important than college exams at the moment.

After a long, hot shower, she changed her bandages. The wounds still ached, but Claire couldn’t help but be impressed by Wesker’s clean handiwork. The sutures on her ankle looked like a doctor had did them. Still, she did the bare minimum to bandage them. If only to make it look like it wasn’t as bad as it was to fool Chris. It hurt to walk on her leg that the Doberman had bitten, but at least she could do so without limping. She was damn lucky.

By the time Chris got home that evening, Claire had cooked dinner, and it was hot and ready when she heard Jill’s Mustang pull into the driveway. But when no one came through the front door at first, she went to the window and peeked out, ignoring the way her heart rate rose. She ended up sighing in relief, smiling at the sight.

Chris and Jill gabbed away inside the car, grinning and laughing. Chris was extra animated, probably telling some crazy story that had Jill nearly in tears. Claire left the best friends be, wondering if they would ever go to the next step, where she knew their hearts secretly were.

As soon as her older brother walked through the door a bit later, he could smell the meal lofting through the house, fish and rice with salad and bread.

“Hey Sis, that smells delicious!” Chris greeted with a grin as he walked into the kitchen. He slipped out of his utility belt and weapons.

“Thanks!” Claire was relieved to see him, hear his voice. After the day she had, she was craving quality time with him. She decided to save her usual Jill teasing for later. “I thought you would be hungry after such a long day. I hope you like it.”

“Course I will. So, how was your day?”

They started making their plates. Claire calmly shrugged. “Alright, I guess. Just went to a few places, went shopping with some friends.” Broke into your crazy Captain’s house and almost got eaten by his dog…

When she handed her brother his drink, he immediately noticed her bandaged hand.  Shit…

“Whoa, what happened to your hand?”

Claire inwardly panicked, but fluidly shrugged it off on the outside as no big deal. “Oh this? It’s just a scratch. I was a total klutz and slipped on some ice earlier. Was trying some of your cool ice skating moves.”

Chris was worried, but as soon as she joked about his ice skating, he gave her a look. “Ha ha, very funny.”

Her chest exploded in relief. He fell for it. She felt sick lying to him, but she had to keep him safe. She was just glad her bigger wound was hidden under the leg of her pants. She wasn’t about to tell him about that one if she could help it.

Claire playfully smacked his shoulder. “Guess I’ll leave the clumsy ice skating to you.”

Chris laughed. “Nah, I think even I will pass on that.”

The siblings sat down at ate dinner. Chris talked about his day at work. Mostly accidents and paperwork today. He and Jill got into a prank war with Forest and Joseph. Brad and Edward Dewey got dragged into it. Somehow one of the pranks misfired and hit Enrico instead, in which the STARS Vice-Captain vowed payback. Each time Chris mentioned Wesker, Claire flinched. Claire made up her story of most of her day. The truth didn't come out until she talked about what she did at home. They discussed Christmas, which was still a little over a week away. Chris wanted to throw a party. He and Jill were thinking Barry's house, because the man owned the biggest house out of the STARS team.

After dinner, the Redfield siblings did the dishes together and cleaned up. When Chris went to take a shower, Claire claimed the couch and watched T.V. The news was mostly background noise to her, as she slipped into deep thought of her crisis once again. Nearly three days since she stumbled upon Wesker and William on the Arklay trails, and she had yet to find a solution. She was running out of time. Then again, it was starting to look like she really didn’t have a choice other than to do as Wesker said…

“Hello? You in there?”

“Huh?” Claire blinked, looking over at Chris after he waved a hand in her face. He looked slightly concerned, but Claire quickly smiled. “Sorry Bro, was zoned out thinking of college classes again.”

There was a hint of skepticism in her brother’s expression, but he didn’t push it. “I asked if you would mind giving me a ride to work in the morning.”

“Oh sure…no problem.”

They watched one of their favorite crime dramas together. Claire was pulled back into her thoughts, trying to think of an escape. But with what happened with Chief Irons and breaking into Wesker’s house, she feared she couldn’t risk anything else. Chris’s safety was her top priority now. She swallowed…even if that meant giving into Wesker.

She didn’t notice her brother’s eyes on her, the television program left forgotten for the both of them…

At the crack of dawn, Chris slipped into the RPD half-asleep. Claire dropped him off in the truck and drove back home. On auto-pilot, he made his way through the busy main hall and waiting area. He overheard a frantic woman talking with Marvin Branagh about her missing husband. Marvin looked away long enough to give Chris a nod in greeting, and Chris returned it before the police lieutenant wrote down notes on the lady’s problem.

“Please, it isn’t like Ned to up and disappear like this!”

“Mrs. Finley, I understand you’re upset, but I assure you we will do all in our power to find your husband,” Marvin told her gently.

Good ‘ol honorable Marvin. One of the best officers on the force in Chris’s opinion. He left them be and made his way to the break room for a much needed cup (or four) of fresh coffee. There were a few other officers in the break room taking advantage of coffee and breakfast. He mostly ignored their holiday plans exchange and poured some black coffee into a styrofoam cup, steam curling out of the rim and the aroma hitting his nostrils, touching his very soul. He was about to pour himself a second when a uniformed officer walked up and joined him.

“Good morning, Chris. How’s the ace shooter?”

Chris grinned, shaking hands with the older officer. Ralph Hendricks. He lived at the end of the same block that Chris did. The older man was fit for his age. Chris would see him jogging on the sidewalk throughout the neighborhood many times. He had been on the force for nearly twenty years. If Chris remembered right, he was in his early fifties.

"Heya, Ralph! Haven't seen ya in awhile!" Chris greeted as he fixed both his cups of coffee with very little sugar and creamer.

Ralph poured his own cup with a chuckle. "Yeah, just got back from vacation the other day."

"Really? Well, you don't know how much I’d like to take a vacation right now and head south for the winter," Chris replied. “Far south. Tahiti, maybe.”

"Aw come now, Chris, nothing beats dreary Raccoon City winter," Ralph joked.

"No kidding. I think I've seen enough snow for a lifetime."

“Saw Claire yesterday. Didn’t know she was in visiting.”

Chris nodded. “Ya she’s down for winter break.”

Ralph doctored up his coffee with some creamer and stirred it. “Good, good, I know she wasn’t able to come in for Thanksgiving. I saw her get out of a super fancy BMW in front of your house. Didn’t recognize the guy she was with, but he was a bit older. Must’ve been a friend of hers.”

Chris froze, his gut clenching. He didn’t say anything at first, mind reeling back to Claire’s story last night on what she did all day yesterday. She told him she drove the truck around. She never mentioned getting dropped off at the house. And Chris may not have known all of her friends, but "a bit older" man and BMW seemed oddly…unlike Claire. Had she lied to him yesterday? She had been acting weird the last couple of days…

“Oh…maybe,” he mumbled. “Not sure.”

“She hurt her ankle somehow? I noticed the bandages.”

Chris looked hard at Ralph then. The older officer noticed Chris’s confusion. “Oh, you didn’t know?”

Chris quickly covered his inner conflict with a smile. “Course I did. She slipped on some ice. She sure is clumsy sometimes!”

Ralph barely nodded, unsure. He raised his steaming coffee. “Well, I better get to the eastern office and see what’s going on. I’ll catch ya later, Chris.”

“Hey, Ralph…you didn’t happen to get the license plate number to that BMW, did you?”

The older officer paused, turning and looking at Chris. He shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t. Eyes aren’t what they used to be. I know the guy was blond though…looked like a doctor maybe.”

Chris picked up both of his cups of coffee, nodding at his neighbor. “Thanks, Ralph. See ya around.”

The older Redfield sibling walked the rest of the way to the STARS office half in thought, wondering what the hell he had missed. He didn’t know Claire’s ankle was injured too. She never mentioned it. And then she apparently lied about being dropped off at his house yesterday. Her behavior had been off, but Chris assumed it was the stress of the holidays. Who was the man that she was seen with? And was Claire really telling the truth about slipping on ice?

Don’t jump to conclusions…Claire’s never given you a reason to doubt her.

He was quite protective of her though, and Chris felt those brotherly instincts waking up now, warning him that something just didn’t seem right.

He reluctantly put the thoughts aside as he entered the STARS office, knowing he had to focus on his job for now. He looked around. Jill still wasn’t here, but would be in any time. He saw Wesker, Enrico, and Barry going over some paperwork by the communications panel. Richard, Forest, and Brad were off today, and so he found Kenneth, Joseph, and Edward at their desks, typing on their computers or flipping through folders.

Chris waved at them all, coffee cups in hand, and went to his desk. He sat both cups down and turned on his computer, although he still zoned out, thinking about Claire. It wasn’t until a pen smacked him in the face that he looked up and across from him at Joseph.

“Huh?”

“Geez Redfield, maybe you should down one of them coffees and wake your ass up.”

Chris glared at him playfully. “Shut it, Frost. What is it?”

“I said you look like shit. What’s eating you?”

Chris shrugged. “I don’t know…Claire’s been acting kinda strange the past couple of days. Trying to figure out what’s up.”

“Maybe she’s planning something for Christmas?” Edward offered innocently.

“Oh, like a party or a present?” Joseph asked. “Then again, she is a wild college girl. Maybe she’s getting into trouble. Or running around with an older guy or something.”

“You want throat punched? Because that’s a good way to get throat punched,” Chris warned.

Kenneth laughed on the other side of him. “Damn Redfield, you sound like Burton when I was joking ‘bout his girls hitting them crazy teenage years.”

Barry raised his head in the middle of the Captains. “Damn straight, Sullivan! I don’t even wanna think about it. Chris, don’t listen to those idiots. Claire’s probably planning something to surprise you. Hell, Jill’s probably in on it, too. They’re clever like that.”

“Claire’s a good girl, Chris, you have nothing to worry about, my boy,” Enrico added.

“I dunno,” Joseph said with a shit-eating grin, spinning in his chair towards Wesker, Enrico, and Barry. “Rumor is, Claire gave dear Captain Wesker quite the griping out and practically scared him into giving Chris more time off.”

“Well, now that you mention it, Frost,” Wesker said, taking up Barry and Enrico’s papers. “Ms. Redfield does have more balls than you. Perhaps you should take some pointers?”

“Oohhhhhhh, burnnnnn,” Edward chortled.

Joseph’s face fell, earning him a pitiful pat on the back from Kenneth. “Wow…I feel the love, Captain.”

“So much love, I cannot stand it,” Wesker said wryly as he went over to the filing cabinet by the armory. “At any rate, Chris, Barry and Enrico are correct. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. Best not let the class clowns get under your skin.”

“Class clowns?” Joseph whined. “Now you’re just being spiteful!”

Chris laughed at his team, feeling better. He was lucky to have such good friends and teammates he could count on. “Thanks, everyone.”

They all got to work. Wesker and Enrico retreated into Wesker’s office as they often did to discuss scheduling, meetings, and managing of both Alpha and Bravo Teams. Chris had just signed into his computer when Jill finally arrived, running late. She peeked her head into the Captain’s door for only a moment before she came over to her desk next to Chris. She placed her keys, a cup of coffee, and a half-eaten pear on her desk. Chris grinned at her as she sat down, his previous worries revolving around his sister suddenly dissipating to the back of his mind once Jill smiled at him.

“You’re late, Ms. Valentine! Don’t become like Frost now.”

“Hey, I heard that!”

They all snickered. Jill turned her computer on and took a big drink of coffee. “Yeah, got caught up in morning rush and there was an accident.”

Chris motioned to the half-eaten fruit on her desk. "A pear for breakfast?"

She smacked him in the shoulder, grinning. "Yeah…why?"

"Don't you want something that will actually fill you up?"

"Like what?"

"Well, the good stuff, obviously. Bacon, eggs, toast, etc."

"Yeah, how about you ask Wesker if you can go to the break room and whip us all up a nice breakfast like that?" Jill laughed. She took a small bite out of her pear and chewed enthusiastically.

"Oh, make me one of your fancy omelets, Chris," Barry stated, not looking up from his paperwork.

“Make that two!” Joseph hollered.

Chris glared at his partner. "Fine, enjoy your pear. I'm going to enjoy one of my fancy protein bars."

Jill had a mischievous glint in her eyes. "The kind that tastes like cardboard? Yep, I will indeed enjoy my pear then."

Their peaceful morning doing paperwork didn’t last long before they got a call on an apartment fire. And thus started Chris’s hectic day.

Ada read through Claire Redfield’s profile on her little spy gadget masquerading as a normal pager. She had looked her up on her laptop earlier back at the estate which had also included photos. Chief Brian Irons was one of her least favorite people, but Ada still followed Sergei’s order and talked to him.  Ironically, Irons was unwilling to talk. And Ada was quite sure this had something do with Albert. The Chief told her he was mistaken before and that she should leave him alone.

Normally, getting out of talking to the creep was fine by her, but Ada couldn’t help but feel Irons was hiding something. Despite making her skin crawl, Brian Irons wasn’t one to scare easily, and so that only left just a couple of people that would make his sorry ass be as tight lipped and nervous as a convict in church.

Regardless, Ada didn’t need him to get on Claire’s trail. She watched the Redfield house all day long, having broken into the house across the street. The house was decorated nicely and she snacked on some of the residents’ food while they were away at work. It was quiet and rather uninteresting all day until she saw William Birkin drop the girl off, which really peaked her interest. This has Albert written all over it…

She spied on the college girl while she was in the house, and even after her brother got home. She listened in on their conversations using some bugs she planted. Claire didn’t seem like a threat, just a normal, hard-headed college girl in town visiting her brother. Ada was confused why Albert would be so interested in her. She left quietly and tracelessly once the owners of the house she was hiding out in returned.

The agent returned early the next morning in a rental car, a lonely stake-out just down the street from the dark Redfield home. Once lights started popping on, Ada tuned into her bugs once more to hear the siblings’ conversations. Still, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, even after the two left in Chris’s truck. Claire would drop off her brother at the Raccoon Police Department and return here.

Ada was tempted to send Albert a coded message. They needed to talk. There would be no avoiding it, as she was confused about exactly what he was planning. But mostly because she knew he would find out eventually that she was snooping about.

She would need to talk to William as well, although Ada knew she needed to handle that in a particular way. William was always an extension of Albert, and visa-versa, the two always holding some strange, unbreakable loyalty to each other. Loyalty that Sergei would pay millions to find a way to break...

She decided to hold off for now, though. Instead, she thought maybe meeting Claire in secret could get her more answers. They just needed some neutral ground…

Ada slid the note underneath the front door and slipped away like a phantom, unnoticed and illusive.

[shewolfofficial]

Song!fic Dead! Levi x Reader

Song: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells your story - Hamilton

Warning: Angst

I've recently gotten into Hamilton and this song is literally a tear jerker omlll get ur tissues

I've almost cried like three times while writing this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me tell you what I wish I’d known

When I was young and dreamed of glory

You have no control

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story

The Survey Corps were known for the high death rate, most recruits and cadets died within their first year, higher-ups and superiors lost their lives to the Titan onslaught that threatened but some survived and shot through the ranks as some of the strongest. You. You were one of them. But you weren’t alone. You had been surrounded by loving and caring friends for all your life, sadly, you had to say goodbye to them earlier than you wanted but nobody has control over anyone’s fate. Not even your lover.

Levi Ackerman

You both weren’t the best pair at the start but once you began to date you both were an inseparable duo that seemed to be made for one another.

Who lives

Who dies

Who tells your story

You had to say goodbye to too many people who you wished that could stay longer, who you wished you spoke to one last time. You would never forget your friend’s names. Countless amount of people who you welcomed into your life and have changed it in their own little unique way. But for Levi, he made a massive impact on your life. Despite the cold behaviour he always made sure you were alright and happy despite the situation at hand.

Some years passed and you gave him a wonderful son, a son of his own named Alexander who grew up and joined the Survey Corps to be with his father.

Despite Levi’s tragic childhood, he was an inspiration to hundreds, even a titan shifter, your friend Eren Yeager looked up to him brightly. He never forgot about those soldiers that lay down their lives for humanity, he swore to make their deaths have a meaning and to eradicate the Titans and let them rest in peace.

Every other founding father’s story gets told

Every other founding father gets to grow old

But when you’re gone who remembers your name?

Who keeps your flame?

Who tells your story?

And just like that, you were left alone, news had spread that both Levi and your son had been caught in an explosion with Zeke Yeager. Just like that. Your family died while you were left waiting in your little home, waiting for your two most precious people in the world to return home.

But they never did..

Who tells your story?

Who tells your story?

F/N

I put myself back in the narrative

You were broken, you begged for both of them to retire and join you but unfortunately, both males were stubborn and refused. Levi had explained that he dedicated his heart to protecting you, his son and humanity. That evening he left you with a comforting kiss on the lips with your son in tow. Levi knew something was going to go wrong later on so before he left he gave you his wedding ring.

How you wished you could’ve stopped them, how you wished you could’ve kept them safe in your little home.

F/N

I stop wasting time on tears

I live another fifty years

It’s not enough

It’s true that you planned on avenging your family, your friends, everyone who had lost their lives in the war that has been happening while you have been at home doing chores, cooking dinner and making sure both your loved ones are warm and well fed every time they dropped by.

You were going to fight against the Yeagerists you were finally going to bring peace and justice to those dogs. You were going to make sure your husband, your son and everyone who has lost their lives were not forgotten.

You were willing to carry Levi’s torch of hope.

F/N

I interview every soldier who fought by your side

..She tells our story..

I try to make sense of your thousands of pages of writings

You really do write like you’re running out of

Time..!

How you wished you could’ve left with them, why did you always seem to be left alone? The world was cruel but you didn’t know it could be this cruel. You’ve gone through Levi’s things along with your sons, you’ve attached your beloved husband's ring to a chain around your neck.

I rely on Hanji

While she’s alive

We tell your story

She’s buried by the oak tree

Near you

When I needed her most

She was right on time

You had met with Hanji and the first thing she did when she saw you was taking you in a hug and apologising for what happened, from there you both continued to fight side by side. She knew you were fighting for your family, for everyone you lost and she supported it. She knew if Levi saw you now he couldn’t have been more proud of how far you’ve come.

But sadly, some months passed and you’ve lost one of your closest friends too. Hanji died the day before you had won the war and peace was declared. Even though you were the last survivor that was once in the Survey Corps you carried on the torch for each individual member. You had buried her and each of your friends and family under a large oak tree. Even though you couldn’t bury their bodies you left a grave for your comrades who fought bravely.

And I’m still not through

I ask myself “what would you do if you had more-”

Time..!

And Lord in his kindness

He gives me what you always wanted

He gives me more

Time

You had risen in popularity within the walls and with outside, you fought for people’s rights, you fought for justice and equality between everyone and everything within and without the three walls that once caged in all of humanity.

Though popularity gave you somewhat fame you were still wishing to see everyone from months, years ago. You wanted to see their proud cheers and faces when you stand off in public, you wanted to show Levi how much you had done for humanity, you wanted to show your son what a peaceful world looked like.

I raise funds in Sina for the Ackerman monument

..She tells my story..

I speak out against slavery

You could have done so much more if you only had-

Time

Yes, you have made the largest impact on humanity. You were known to go down in history for your acts and kindness towards everyone. You never would’ve known you would become the most famous woman in history to change the entirety of the human race.

But with those big projects you had

You also had little ones but they were as equally as important to you as well..

Oh!

Can I show you what I’m proudest of?

The orphanage…

I established the first private orphanage inside Wall Sina

The orphanage…

I help to raise hundreds of children from the Underground!

I get to see them growing up

It’s true you have set up multiple orphanages around the walls and outside them as well, but the first and most important one to you was the one within Wall Sina for the children of the Underground. You’ve always known that if Levi would do something about the children down under he would help them in a blink of an eye.

And so you carried his torch on...

You made the orphanage especially for the poor children, you wanted to give them hope, to give them life, you always had a feeling Levi would’ve been proud of you for helping the people of the Underground. You wanted to achieve his dreams and goals even if he couldn’t be here with you to see them.

The orphanage…

In their eyes, I see you Levi

I see you every time

And when my time is up

Have I done enough?

Will they tell your story?

You loved the way the small children’s faces lit up when they saw you or your co-workers. They were pure and adorable, one day a new little fellow and his elder brother arrived at the orphanage and he reminded you exactly of your son and Levi.

The children would ask you about the Ackerman monument in Sina and you’d tell them the exact story of Humanities Strongest, the love of your life who would bring peace to humanity and save everyone. From hearing your stories about your husband the children greatly admired him and his heroics.

Oh I can’t wait to see you again..

It’s only a matter of time..

You felt yourself being drifted off to the afterlife, the warm breeze engulfing you with a blinding light. You were at the age of 78 when your time had come when you had lived life to the fullest, when you changed humanity for the better, you had carried the torch and made all your friends dreams come true and very much real.

Opening your eyes, you glanced down seeing your hands young and clear again, you felt young and fresh again like you were years and years ago. That familiar voice sprung from behind you.

“F/N?”

Will they tell your story?

Time..

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

Erwin.

Smiling with tears brimming at your eyes you ran into the blonde's arms seeing as he looked to have gotten his missing arm back. Smiling greatly and chuckling inwardly he enveloped you in a comforting hug as you sobbed happily.

“F/N!”

Hanji!

Almost being tackled to the ground Hanji seemed young again, she didn’t have a patch over her eye and she was as lively as ever. She cried out taking you into a hug away from Erwin as he smiled at you both.

Time

Will they tell your story?

Time

You had cried while meeting all your dear friends again, even Levi squad had taken you in for a massive group hug along with tears of joy. Everyone was ecstatic to see you again as you were all in your younger and healthy forms. Scouting uniforms clean and neat along with your own.

You had noticed your son walking towards you with a gentle smile tugging on his thin lips, he was so much like his father... Except for your E/C orbs of course. Running to him you felt Alexander chuckle as you cried into his shoulder.

“Welcome home mom.. I’m so proud of what you’ve done.. We all are..”

“I’ve missed you so much.. I’ve missed you all so much!”

You kept hugging him and crying into his shoulder as your son patted your back cooing at you, your friends have been there watching over you your whole life?

“Someone wants to meet you mom..” Alexander gestured behind you with that signature smirk of his.

You turned around and you saw the man you’ve kept fighting for.

Levi Ackerman...

Tears now streaming down your face you stepped forward with wide eyes as Levi gave you a gentle smile and held his arms out to you. “Welcome back love.. I couldn’t be more happy about what you’ve done..” he said as you cried out and sprinted into his arms. Wrapping your arms around his neck you cried out as Levi wrapped his arms around you and kissed you.

Who lives..

Who dies..

Who tells your story…

“I’ve told your story Levi..”

[arkiven]

Recension av A Hunger Artist and Other Stories av Franz Kafka

Study of Hands by Egon Schiele, 1913, detail

I've written before about the difficulties of rating short story collections, and it is especially hard to rate those that aren't put together by the author themselves. This one doesn't make me think otherwise. As a matter of fact, it would even be hard trying to rate each of the stories by itself, even without interference from all the rest. The texts come from different time periods of Kafka's writing, are in various stages of being finished, and span a variety of themes, but they often return to the idea of the Artist, especially in stories such as A Hunger Artist and Josefine, the Singer of the Mouse-People. Kafka works with the relationship between Artist and Audience, between creator, consumer, and bystander. It’s interesting, but not as engaging as it could’ve been. There is also a great deal of thought about the nature of living creatures, and about going against it, or succumbing to it. As a matter of fact, a share of the protagonists in these stories are animals; dogs, mice, apes, horses. The surreal is entwined with the mundane, where animals are given human roles and experiences, and inanimate objects seem to have goals, reasons, and a will of their own. Still, the stories are firmly planted in our everyday world. Kafka's writing style is sometimes a blessing, sometimes a downfall. Reflective of his day job, it's often stiff and bleak, and this fits him well. He has this way of being both simple and complex at the same time, wordy, but without being purple. At his best this is absolutely amazing, amplifying the atmosphere in his stories in the way that a blanket of grey haze amplifies the impression and ambience of a rainy day. Oppressive, but in a good way, the prose is definitely present in the text, active, contributing to it just as much as the story does. At his less shining moments, however, the mist turns into a fog and becomes too thick and unyielding, obscuring the text itself, making it very hard to get through. 

Franz Kafka

Unfortunately, there is a lot of fog in this collection. Many of the stories drag on far more than they'd need to, and I sometimes get the feeling that Kafka gets a bit lost in his own thoughts and loses track of where the text is going. At their worst, the stories lack focus. And no wonder: many of them are fragments of a narrative fused together after Kafka's death, some are writing exercises. A great many were never supposed to be published, but then again, going from that we would've never had many of his best works. But this collection does feel a bit forced in places, a sort of Frankenstein's monster of unfinished short stories and loose scraps. It is definitely geared more towards those reading Kafka for academic reasons, rather than for... well, fun, even though that might not be the first word that comes to mind when reading Kafka. Going through this collection just for the sake of reading left me a bit unsatisfied (even though the brilliant introduction and notes by Ritchie Robertson caught my interest, and worked very well as a companion to the book). While the cover says 'stories' this is, in many ways, a book of fragments. Many of them are very well written as well as interesting, but they seem to be hidden in the fog, and it takes some patience to leaf through the rougher parts to look for those that stand out. Still, there are some amazing stories in there, and when Kafka is at his best, he’s a five star writer. I found myself spending a lot of time writing down sentences, and sometimes entire paragraphs that I just couldn’t get out of my head. The Burrow is fantastic, and so is At the Building of the Great Wall of China, and Blumfeld, an Elderly Bachelor. And it is no surprise that when Kafka gets to play around with the themes of authority, paranoia, and repetition, he shines. I just wish that some of these stories would've been allowed to hold their own, and not be drowned out by all the other ones.

Utgåvan jag läste var översatt till engelska av Joyce Crick och släpptes 2012 av Oxford University Press. Recensionen ligger sedan 2015 ute på mitt Goodreadskonto.

[esoteric-paradox-blog]

#MeToo

Trigger Warning: sexual assault & molestation

Let's get personal, and not in a fun way. I'm about to share some things that I don't like to talk about, but I'm going to anyway. Why? Because I want other women to know they aren't alone. And I want men to know that their behavior is something that can impact someone's life forever, so they should think before they act. And please spare me the "not all men narrative." I am addressing every single man right now, and as a survivor of assault, I have every right to do so.

The first time I was assaulted I was 6 years old. I was at a sleep over at my best friend's house. While I slept next to them on their living room floor, A Bug's Life flashing on the television screen, their father molester me. I was 6 years old. I had no idea what had just happened, but I knew it was wrong. I knew I was supposed to stay quiet, not that I would have even known what to say had I felt like I was able. I didn't have the language to tell anyone what happened at 6, sexual terms not on my comprehension level or in my vocabulary. This person stayed in my life for the next 5 years. While it never happened again, I never forgot it.

When I was 12, puberty took hold full throttle. I was already in a C cup bra and my hips reflected the curves of a full grown woman. That's when I got catcalled for the first time. I was hanging Halloween decorations outside with my parents when a truck full of men rode by, hooting and hollering at the 12 year old body I was just growing into and trying to understand. I asked my mom why those guys were yelling and she said sometimes, men yelled out their windows at women they thought were attractive, trying to make me feel as if I should be flattered that these grown ass men were admiring the body of a 12 year old.

When I was 13, I finally told someone what happened when I was 6. I told my best friend at the time. She told me she had been molested as a child too. It was all starting to make sense now, and I didn't feel so alone. I decided to tell my parents now that I had found my voice all these years later. Both of them remained stoic, saying how they had no idea. No apologies or compassion shown. I'm sure they were just in too much shock, but a hug would have been nice. They never contacted the authorities. It was never mentioned again except for my mother telling me years later she hung out with him and his wife and I "would be very pleased" because the man who had molested me at 6 years old was "in poor health and miserable."

2 years later I was 15. Hormones raging, inhibition a foreign concept. I found a person I thought I was in love with. I wasn't really, but at 15, anyone who shows you attention and has a handsome face loves you, right? He was 20 years old. I was 15. I lost my virginity to this man. What did he have in common with a 15 year old at that stage in his life? I guess that his hormones were also raging, inhibition not being in his vocabulary either. He treated me very poorly - threatened me, told me I wasn't allowed to have male friends, gave me drugs to manipulate me.

I went to a concert with this boyfriend and had my behind pinched by a grown man. No one noticed but me, and I kept it that way. After all, with his firey temper, it would surely be a bad idea to tell him, probably even be my fault somehow. I was 15 years old.

Once that relationship ended, I jumped into another one - this time with a 25 year old. I was still 15. Today, as I write this, I am 25 years old myself. I can not possibly imagine being sexually attracted to a 15 year old child. At the time, I felt so special; all these older men were attracted to me because I was mature for my age, right? He used to get me drunk then take pictures of me once I fell asleep. He once told me to be quiet when we had sex in his apartment. I thought maybe he just wasn't into noisy girls. He also used to always take a bath directly after sex, often times asking me to join. I thought he was being romantic. He was washing away the evidence.

Fast forward to 17, I finally found a boy my age. All the girls wanted him, and I felt so special that he chose me. My family loved him, so much that they let me take him on our family vacation and my aunt sold him her old car. His ex girlfriend reached out to me one day and told me to he careful - he had tried to rape her when they were together. But they were still friends, weren't they? And wasn't she known for being promiscuous? She must be jealous. It had to be a ploy to break us up so she could have him back. After all, she wasn't even wearing underwear at that Halloween party we were at the other night. One day, Mr. Perfect Boyfriend cheated on me. A stranger told me in school - they worked together at a fast food joint, she knew I was his girlfriend and she felt obligated to tell me. She saw him hook up with a coworker in a cooler the other night. I invited him over later that day and confronted him, told him I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet but he was definitely in the dog house until I decided. He didn't like that remark. He pinned me down on my bed, holding my hands down at the wrists with one hand, his other hand desperately trying to rip off my pants. My adrenalin kicked in full throttle and I maganed to kick him off of me. He landed on my bedroom floor and I ran outside. Once I caught my breath, I came back in and he was still there, crying and apologizing, making weird excuses that he blacked out and he had mental health issues and couldn't control his actions. I was 17 years old. I didn't know what was true and what was false, how to feel, what to trust.

At 22, I landed a job I loved as a caregiver in a group home. There was a coworker that I often relieved from his shift or would relieve me who was 40 years old. He seemed nice enough, and we fell into conversation easily. We never worked the same shift, as it was a single person job, but he would often linger to talk, and I didn't mind. What was the harm, right? Isn't it good to have a good rapport with coworkers? He then started buying me random gifts. Strange, sure, but maybe he was just a generous guy. There are still good people left in the world, right? It made me feel uncomfortable that he gave me things, it seeming out of place. But how do you say no without offending someone? I didn't want him to think I was unappreciative, so I let it go. After all, he knew I was engaged - I talked about my fiance all the time. He couldn't mean any harm, right? This then transpired into him wanting to hang out outside of work and take me places. He claimed he got tickets to events for free because he owned a record label and he was offering to take me because he knew I would enjoy it. I didn't think there was any harm in hanging out with a coworker outside of work. People went out for drinks after work together, yes? This would be similar, surely. We hung out a few times and then something uncalled for happened. One night, he tried to kiss me on the clock. I told him he needed to leave and that was uncalled for, and he did. He tried to act normal after that, but it wasn't, and I let him know. Not long after, he snuck in without me knowing while I was asleep at work. All of a sudden, I felt him laying next to me on the couch, holding me, his manhood pressed firmly against my leg. I was scared beyond belief, a cold running through me that froze my movements. I was paralyzed. I didn't know what he was going to do to me. Eventually he ended up leaving. I don't know what changed his mind, but I was lucky that night. After that I told him we were no longer friends. He had a wife and there was no reason for him to be trying anything with me, he could go home to her. The next few nights, he broke into my work again, crying, begging me to forgive him and be his friend, insisting he had never crossed any lines and that was what friends did. I screamed at him each time, ordering him to leave and he would refuse. This was my nightmare at work, repeating itself nightly, this man I was afraid of badgering me while I was trying to do my job. I was too scared to call the authorities, so eventually I tearfully confided in my other coworker what was happening. They reported it for me, but unfortunately, I was not believed. This predator spun a story that we were messing around and things went south, me being bitter about it. I was removed from my position and reassigned somewhere else. Me, not him. I was 22 years old. I was an adult, wasn't I supposed to be able to handle these things easily and know what to do? And weren't people suppose to believe the victim, not the predator? 3 years later and this man still attempts to call and text my phone. I still do not feel safe.

Today, I am 25. I am engaged to a man I have been with for almost 6 years. Never has he made me feel unsafe in any capacity. He is my age, a few months younger actually. We have a son together who is almost 2. I am proud that he has a father that is such a good role model. I plan to raise my son to prioritize the safety of women and treat them as his equals. I am a loud and proud feminist, as is my fiance. Hopefully my son will follow in our footsteps.

Writing this was extremely uncomfortable, but I am glad I have done so. Never do I want men to think it is okay to terrorize women. Never do I want a woman or girl to feel ostracized because of experiences beyond her control.

#metoo