The Tally at the Hornburg
I tried to write a drinking song about Legolas and Gimli's competitions inspired by some person's post I saw on Pinterest. I don’t know who the author is, though. Here's the post:
I also tried to apply Tolkien’s style of merry songs. Also, this is the very first song I've ever written, so pls don't be harsh. Well... here it is:
1. Lift all your pints and ales,
And harken to my tale, dear friends!
A tale of a friendship unlikely,
Of rivalry that hasn't hindered it, not even slightly!
One, two, three, there flies another!
Over the wall, and up he goes!
And down he goes!
Down, down on the heads of his comrades,
Ha ha!
2. Come and listen closely:
Laughter, oddly seeming phony,
A laughter laughed by a one dwarf tall,
As he swings his axe, and another orc falls, down, down the wall!
One, two, three, there flies another!
Over the wall, and up he goes!
And down he goes!
Down, down on the heads of his comrades,
Ha ha!
3. Near the dawn, after night,
A call is heard through the sky bright.
"Thirty two!", cries the dwarf to his friend,
And the elf throws a sheild on the stairs, slides down, and - oh! - he fares!
One, two, three, there flies another!
Over the wall, and up he goes!
And down he goes!
Down, down on the heads of his comrades,
Ha ha!
4. Post-fight, the dwarf sits down,
And sitting on the ruins, lown,
He pulls out a pipe from b'hind his belt,
And waits for the elf to share the count of blows that he had dealt.
One, two, three, and the elf comes by!
Pulls out a bow, and shares his count!
The final count!
The count, that goes up to forty two,
Ha ha!
5. "Forty two, you say, eh?
Not bad, for a pointy-eared prince.
If not as good as it could have been!
For I, myself, am higher on a count that is forty three!”
One, two, three, the elf is distressed.
Not so easily bested, no!
"My dear mister!
I'm sure to win in a drinking game,
Ha ha!"
6. Later that day, that night,
The elf and dwarf sit down to fight!
To fight for the deciding ending!
And soon they are ready, with hands gripping pints, faces pending.
One, two, three, there's downed another!
Onto the table, and refilled!
And downed again!
Downed, downed to the glory of either,
Ha ha!
7. Into the night, or dawn,
The friends will not so much as yawn!
The fight is still on, neither will lose,
While the bottoms of the barrels deep will soon be split in twos!
One, two, three, there's downed another!
Onto the table, and refilled!
And downed again!
Downed, downed to the glory of either,
Ha ha!
8. Attention! The dwarf sways,
The merry elf glances his way.
"Not too long until he collapses,
I am sure - I dearly hope - to last just a few more lapses".
One, two, three, there's downed another!
Onto the table, and refilled!
And downed again!
Downed, downed to the glory of either,
Ha ha!
9. The dwarf, as foretold, falls.
The elf, overjoyed, stands and calls:
"'Tis was a jubilant endeavor,
But now I must announce, to my rebuilded joy and viguor:
Game over!”
One, two, three, there's downed the last one!
Onto the table, and away!
Away, away!
Away, to the joy of the victor,
Ha ha!
10. This is the tale, dear folks,
Of an elf prince, that could not boast,
And his dwarf friend who, by just one pint,
Was bested in a drinking game, collapsed, and drowned was his mind,
With alcohol!
One, two, three, there flies another!
Over the wall, and up he goes!
And down he goes!
Down, down on the heads of his comrades,
Ha ha!
One, two, three, there's downed another!
Onto the table, and refilled!
And downed again!
Downed, downed to the glory of either,
Ha ha!
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