#love a deranged acronym

[snootflake]

A coworker and I bonded over mutual Good Omens obsession. She sends me fanfiction to read, and I send her fanart. We are so hyped to talk about the show, but we are also REALLY busy. SO we set up actual meetings every week on our actual work calendars to block out time and rooms at the office to talk.

But I gotta show you the names of our meetings.

This was the first one that I very hurriedly made:

Nothing special, but very non-suspicious, eh?

… but then I started to get more creative:

… you feel me? 😏 And once I started with this caper, I couldn’t stop:

And finally, becauase all we talk about now is smutty fanfic, I settled on these beauties:

And my favorite:

…I may have spent more time engineering these meeting titles than doing actual work. Crowley would be proud.

If you have the opportunity to be a mischievous little goblin IRL, please go for it.

[sesamestreep]

I wasn’t quick enough to get a screen grab, but not Phoneix Wright saying, “Maybe I could get Edgeworth to pay my rent,” after he finds out he’s going to pay Maya’s bail!! Like, baby girl…. you could…….

[matchmadeinsevenhells]

Don’t make me go to sleep (in all my dreams I drown) sounds way more deep and dramatic! That one has my vote! :)

Thank you, anon! I'm partial to that one too, I'll admit ;) It has all these nice and dark implications, doesn't it?

[bayheart]

i was tagged by dear and darling @urieskooki for a little wip meme tag game so :3c

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

so erm. i'm kind of The WIP Guy i'm going to be so real it's my disease it's my plague. ask Any of my friends and they will tell u oh yeah bay has a disease called mile-long to-do list at all times. i could not Possibly show Every WIP between individual art files or docs.... i will simply do my best to pick and choose WIPs i think would be of note or interest between my variety of common medias i produce for 🧎‍♂️

gonna toss everything under a cut just so as to not clog dashes :3

also i am not tagging anyone so sorry 🏃‍♂️ I AM A COWARD

OK SO... this is (most of . i removed a couple sneakrets + things that are REALLY not getting touched again) my list i keep of animations!! ft. poor george since in my mind's eye it's one of those older era comics that gets edited into a rlly cool music video y'know <3 behold my plague boy.

(also sorry i don't have funny silly titles :'3 organizational habit mostly. all but 4 of these are all song titles!! one being an album, one being the filename, and two being acronyms)

and THEN we have Written wips from good ol' docs of which. i have truly unfathomable written wips like in general and as a whole so i picked the TEENIEST LIST EVER!! all TFA except for the second two, which are gaalee!

adn then uhm . any semi-active illustrative/art files are scarce oc content, things that YOU 🫵 (the glugs) have already seen, and uhm god i have no idea i haven't rlly worked on personal art in. a painfully long time 😭 keep myself very busy with other responsibilities!!!

the one thing i DO have that's art though is the answer to this ask from 3 years ago thank u storm 🫶

tragically the majority of my wips are projects that have been ongoing for So Long. things that get chipped at once every couple years atp fr. BUT ... i still loves them all <3 and for the animations tbh i will just show the full wip if asked. i am deranged. ok that's it i'm done THANK U FOR THE TAG AMBER LOVE U :D

[loiterer87]

Ended up doing a couple of random marker ideas after watching Wandavision the other year. Particularly the episode introducing Monica Rambeau and deciding to give her her Photon powers towards the end of it (spoilers I suppose?).

Anyway, after that, I began thinking up a daft idea based on the NextWave comic I'd been rereading at the point. What if that ended up as an MCU tv series at some point in the future? Because the people who make things for the MCU are a lot more talented/ better connected/ smarter than me, they probably wouldn't make a series exploring some of the weirder cuts from Marvel comics and ripping the absolute piss out of themselves, I have decided to take it upon myself to draft up a pitch for what would make a NextWave tv series.

Read on to see what nonsense I came up with to amuse myself while scribbling up some character concepts for the look of the NextWave gang....

NEXTWAVE: AGENTS OF H.A.T.E.

Imagine, if you will, a team of good-looking women, one average-looking guy and a machine... No. Not like that. Imagine, if your non-filthy and feeble minds can muster, a team of five superheroes! Can't properly see it? No? Well, that's what the visuals above are for....

Now then! Got them pretty pretty pictures seen and memorised? Well, tough titties, were carrying on! These lovely people and sexy robot are the NEXTWAVE squad! Agents of the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort (hey that makes a nifty acronym, dunnit?)! So-called because they are being promoted by H.A.T.E. (A subsidiary of the Beyond Corporation) as the 'Next Wave of superheroes after that first colourful lot called the Avengers! It should have been easy, hire a bunch of randos with powers, dress 'em up all nice and heroic (maybe give them matching jackets to help with Brand-recognition) and have them fighting crime and big threats! That leads to merchandising, movie-deals, endorsements and of course, PROFIT! Easy right?

Well, no frankly. Not really. They hired Monica "I know Captain Marvel!" Rambeau as their field leader. That was a bad decision on management's part, but really how were they to know she had ethics and morals and things like that? Following that debacle, she managed to convince the rest of the team to go all piratey and leave H.A.T.E (Bet SHIELD took aaaages to make their acronym work).

Stealing something called the Beyond Marketing Plan, Monica and the rest discovered the origins of H.A.T.E. (More than SWORD did I reckon), the Beyond Corporation and their plan to do... something nefarious involving giant monsters, samurai robots made from cutlery, magical deals with dirty-minded other-worldly beings and blowing up chunks of America in the name of freedom!

Join NextWave as they face off against some of the weirdest bollocks in Marvel's archives twisted into something which might work in the MCU as well as the machinations of H.A.T.E. (Did they ever figure out what HAMMER's acronym was?) led by the probably deranged Dirk Anger (Nick Fury, except instead of Samuel L. Jackson's built-in cool, he's loud and prone to explosive bouts on impotent rage. He's also having a nervous breakdown (he thinks no one's noticing).) with an army of Broccoli Men and a flying headquarters which looks less fancy than that Helicarrier Fury and his mates had and more like someone drunkenly welded four submarines together and persuaded the thing to fly. But enough about them, let's meet our heroes!

PHOTON/MONICA!

Leading these idiots (her words) is good ol' Monica Rambeau! Given the codename Photon, Monica's not impressed with anything to do with her position on the team. In fact, she's annoyed most of the time, either by her team, her job or the fact her costume is one piece and that makes toilet breaks reeeeeeeeeally time-consuming. Yes, she's got fancy powers which involve manipulating various forms of energy and knows Captain Marvel personally, both of those qualities mean little when a giant lizard threatens to shove your teammate down his pants. (I'm not explaining the pants, just go with it...) She's the team mum whether she likes it or not and the only reliable one. The team's moral compass when they remember to look.

Mostly happy with this, I've only got a limited number of markers and sadly none of them covered the darker skintones. Really the only thing I'd change if I could.

MACHI-- AARON STACK!

Did you know there was an attempt to make another Vision level robot? No, not that white one from that other show. This one's different. He's got flesh-y coloured bits and purple. Also he's version 51 created by Dr. Abel Stack in his Machine Man project. Following the disastrous previous 50, Dr. Stack decided that he would raise Z2P459-X-51 as a son instead of the standard dump an AI in and hope for the best. There was one problem however, Stack was a crap dad. Eventually, after running away and enduring a long legal battle involving the rights of sentient machines, property and emancipation(?). X-51 was finally free and changed his name to Aaron Stack. Since then he's mostly been wandering around, experiencing the human world and stealing beer. He joined NextWave mostly out of boredom.

Armed with an amazing array of abilities such as flight, extendable bits and a lot of weaponry, Aaron could be a force to be reckoned with... If he gave a ****...

Did this one first, mostly he's based on the Vision's aesthetic designs but with Machine Man's costume in mind. There's a couple more little bits, but it mostly speaks for itself.

ELSA BLOODSTONE!

Prim, proper and more than willing to shoot you in the face if you keep staring at her chest. In fact, she's quite happy to shoot anything in the face given half the chance, if it's a monster. Trained from birth to hunt monsters, Elsa's childhood was... interesting? ...memorable?... Traumatic--It was traumatic. Ish. She's mostly over it. Or lying. She's got supernaturally enhanced abilities and an encyclopedic knowledge of monsters and folklore. And a well-stocked armoury. She's also very British and bossy. Insult her at your own risk.

Overall design's fine but look at that uzi!!! Don't draw many guns, but I'm pleased with that one!

TABBY! I think her t-shirt says it all... Redneck-'splody girl, Tabby is just like that dude Scorch from that one episode of Agents of SHIELD, remember him? Well, she's either one of whatever he eventually was classed as, or a mutant. If they're canon at some point. Tabby's shallow, crass and really lacking in a lot of things. Education, amongst others. She can also make things explode, using self-generated balls of destructive energy. Even people, which is why all the rest of the team have an infinite amount of patience dealing with her, especially as she's the youngest on the team. She's also the main reason the team left in the first place. Because she's a klepto and stole the Marketing Plan which led Monica to learning the truth about H.A.T.E. (Getting really tired of having to type the dots for this).

THE CAPTAIN! No really, that's his name! I mean, I'd have written his actual name up there if he could remember it. Having that power set known lovingly as the "Flying Brick", the Captain saw fit to put as much effort into his costume as his creators put into making him! He can fly, he can lift heavy objects, he's mostly indestructible! Now if only he was more intelligent, he might be able to do something useful with his powers... Frequent butt of jokes, the Captain suffers the most during the fights, usually with a good dose of humiliation. This might be part of some karmic justice in universe for drunkenly assaulting the beings who gave him the Heartstar of The Space Between Galaxies (his origin), or just because it's funny. He's from Brooklyn and is not actually a Captain of anything...

If you're still reading here, first of all why? It's should be clear that this is a comedic series. I envision it as someone at Marvel Studios said "Let's do a show that's like some horrific hybrid of our current output and one of them Abridged shows on Youtube!" and wasn't immediately sacked. Skewering everything from weird and wonderful comic tropes, character designs and maybe even some stuff poking fun at the hand that feeds, crossed with all the awesome stuff that makes the MCU shine. If this goes anywhere I may write up a small script for shits and giggles, I don't know.

So, that was my dumb idea behind this. If Marvel Studios see this and are interested(ha!), I'm willing to talk. I swear all these are real characters and in an actually published Marvel comic series, it is all real, even the lizard bit. I was also sober when I wrote this. Don't know why I felt the need to clarify that...

[coochiequeens]

Reblog if you also love being a woman.

Adele's declaration that she "[loves] being a woman" during her acceptance speech at the BRIT Awards has unwittingly sparked a transphobia debate.

During Tuesday's show, which was held in London, the British-born singer scooped three trophies at the music awards' first ever gender-neutral ceremony, where male and female artists competed against one another in the same categories.

The "Easy on Me" singer said: "I understand why the name of this award has changed, but I love being a woman and being a female artist—I do! I'm really proud of us, I really, really am."

While Adele drew raucous applause and cheers from the audience in attendance, her comments sparked a debate, when one viewer took her words as a sign she might be a TERF, an acronym for trans-exclusionary radical feminist.

"Please, no, ADELE can't be a TERF," said the viewer on Twitter. "That last comment, though ambiguous, could be perceived as TERF-y. Please no."

Wrote another detractor: "Who'd have thought #Adele was a transphobe and would use her platform to call for the destruction of the trans community. Especially the confused teenagers."

While the hot takes that Adele had expressed an even remotely transphobic sentiment were in a minority, they did not go by unnoticed.

Feminist and childbirth author Milli Hill, who has faced backlash for own comments on the trans community, was among those who joined the ensuing debate.

"Hopefully anyone who had any doubt that we are in the grip of a harmful ideology will have their eyes fully opened by seeing how controversial it has become for a woman to say, 'I love being a woman,'" Hill tweeted.

Countering Hill's post, other Twitter users saw a risk in Adele's comments being hijacked and reshaped as an attack on the trans people to push agendas.

"Seeing people like Milli using the words of Adele, who has shown time and time again her support for the LGBTQ+ community, just shows they will use anything they can as a weapon in their attack on trans people," wrote one viewer.

Echoing that sentiment, another person commented: "Adele's been away from the UK too long if she thinks she can say she loves being female and the terfs won't take that as some twisted victory in their hate campaign against trans women."

"The ease at which transphobes assume this is a declaration that Adele has thrown her lot in with them is all the proof you need that they use 'female' as a transphobic dogwhistle," tweeted another.

However, the claims continued to roll in that declaring oneself a proud woman was treading into dangerous territory in today's world.

The Famous Artist Birdy Rose, an artist who has spoken out against trans women competing against cisgender women in sports, shared her take on the matter.

She wrote: "The best thing about the Adele situation is that it shows that all any woman has to do to be called a 'terf' is acknowledge her own sex. It exposes how low the bar is & how high the cost is for a woman who speaks the truth without first considering if deranged men are OK with it."

Author Jane Harris said of the social media reaction: "2022. The year in which the cult of gender has taken such a hold that when the winner of the Brits says—'I really love being a woman and being a female artist'—she is castigated. She'll now be pressurised to apologise. Are you getting it yet?"

"Take note Adele fans. You can make a speech and not mention a single identity group but proclaim you love being a woman and trans activists will call you anti-trans," commented another. "The word woman is hate speech to them."

see rest of article

[awsugar]

listen I've got the FIDS too but what's more is that I have the RTDS, the Ray Toro Derangement Syndrome. who was he drumming for before MCR? why was he a drummer? is he still? is he still into photography? what other tattoos does he have aside from his wrist tattoo? all these questions and more, with no answers.

stop trying to make other derangement syndromes happen!!!! jk i love ray but none of the other acronyms work like fids its one of a kind rtds gwds etc is just some letters

[crimsoncondor]

Kakegurui: Psychological Analysis of Midari Ikishima (Anime)

Color Symbolism Theory:

https://bloodorangesangria.tumblr.com/post/164215619840/kakegurui-color-theory-midari-ikishima-purple

Refer to Card 41 (Sexual Masochism Disorder [SMD]) in the following set:

https://quizlet.com/340466138/abnormal-psychology-sexual-disorders-flash-cards/

DSM-5 criteria supports the notion Midari experiences SMD symptoms:

https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/sexuality,-gender-dysphoria,-and-paraphilias/sexual-masochism-disorder

This is a description of the ESTP personality type:

https://www.16personalities.com/estp-personality

Pathological gambling presents itself in ways akin to Midari's derangement:

https://www.ukessays.com/essays/psychology/a-study-on-pathological-gambling-as-an-addiction-psychology-essay.php

(Note the latter source is theoretical. It is possible psychosexual and nurture-related factors contribute to gambling addiction.)

The neuroscience behind pathological gambling indirectly aligns with Midari's mindsets and functions:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3858640/

Footnotes:

Midari has dealt with anhedonia and hedonism for years and submitted to her innate impulses in extreme portions to reassure herself she is human. Nobody seems to care for her due to her erratic mannerisms and regular exposure to individuals with apathetic tendencies such as Kirari and Runa, so she has felt outcasted. She also seems largely disinterested in others because of this treatment, but she is ecstatic in the presence of Jabami, whom she believes can understand her. This perceived lack of belonging has resulted in suicidal thoughts and an identity crisis, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she wishes to live, so she continually lingers on the verge of life and death through gambling. When deprived of this pleasure she forces on herself, Midari displays mania such as during her altercation with Erimi in Season 2, Episode 2. As a sexually developed teenager who never receives affection from others, she will naturally be perverted to some extent, but this is amplified by her other baggage. The scene in Season 1 where she removes her own eye in front of Kirari to repay debt perfectly summarizes her duality, hardships, and contradiction.

Her occasionally slurred and dramatic speech further defends the idea she is disinterested in her environment, but it may also indicate a disability. She appears slightly deformed, but this may be untrue considering most of the characters possess unusual designs, and she is very simplistic, narrow-minded, and instinctive, which is typical of people with limited cognitive capacities, albeit this is probably linked to her other issues as well. There are some occasions where Midari exposes the insecurities of other characters in a blunt but accurate way like in her conversation with Yumemi in Season 2, Episode 5 and description of Sayaka's past, but this rarely occurs because she is frequently lost in her own thoughts or unfeeling for people. It is somewhat possible her unhealthy fixations mask genuine intellect. At minimum, she is immature given her age.

Midari's design is a combination of both stylish and unkempt, which means she likely attempts to charm men but is not very talented at it, either due to a lack of interest, poor motor skills, or a misunderstanding of the desires of others in comparison to her own. She projects her lust onto others because it is the sole sensation she knows, and she wishes for her peers to savor the same pleasure, which is similar to Jabami's perspective on gambling. This is one of the main reasons Midari resonates with her. This in some regards presents itself as a lesbian infatuation with her, and her design slightly reflects this due to its faintly tomboyish features. Her voice is a tad androgynous, which may be deliberate as it is with many lesbians. Her assymetrical eyes may symbolize her paradoxical existence --- with the bare eye representing the external and the concealed eye signifying the internal. From a general view, it could represent her duality as a whole rather than specific contrasts or vice versa. Her headpiece has hearts on it, implying she needs love but is warped in the head. Midari is visibly desperate and isolated, so she may be accustomed to others' disgust towards her and unfamiliar with positive emotions like love. The pain of being loathed is one of the many miseries she lies to herself about; the woman convinces herself she enjoys it to cope. Nevertheless, she is not entirely unsympathetic, which is subtly insinuated by her investment in Jabami and lecture towards Yumemi about her absence of talent.

According to the Kakegurui wiki, "Midari" translates to "reckless" and "chaotic" while Ikishima means "hope", "aspiration", "intention", "motive", "plan", "resolve", "shilling", and "to wear". Midari's forename is obviously applicable to her behaviors, but her surname is enigmatic and ironic; she is unsure of her own objectives, yet it implies a sure sense of purpose. Combined with her forename, however, this is more sensible because her goals are stubborn, mad, and counterintuitive. On the other hand, the meaning "to wear" may allude to Midari's fashionable look and role. Additionally, the girl "wears" her abnormality like a badge of honor, and she is "worn" out because of her circumstances and hurdles.

Midari's personality type is almost indescribable, but the most prominent possibility is ESTP, also known as the Entrepreneur. She is a very unhealthy case, and she is somewhat ambiverted. Her position in the student council reflects a social nature, but this is not necessarily evidence in itself; she is talkative and desperate for affection, but the kind of attention she seeks is incomprehensible to most, so she tends to be isolated. She asserts herself in situations with methods others are throw off or often revolted by, never hesitating to scrutinize on the basis of her observations, which are frequently more accurate and insightful than what many of her peers could muster. This is displayed when she describes Sayaka to Yuriko and criticizes Yumemi's strategies for stardom. Unless her obsessions obstruct her ability to ruminate analytically, she is largely logical and unbiased, so her fundamental thought processes are more rational than emotional in everyday circumstances. Due to her overall disconnection from tangible, concrete reality and reliance on risks and probability, it is obvious she possesses many intuitive qualities, but these do not quite dominate her sensory ones. Midari usually approaches casual issues pragmatically and with tactility; she views personal experience as her primary method of comprehension and views these events as snapshots of a greater picture. Midari improvises much of the time and does not seem to limit herself to a timetable or routine, so her prospecting traits overpower her judging traits. The girl's unstable and inconsistent reactions render her fifth letter a T rather than an A. Hence, her acronym stands for "Extroverted, Observant, Thinking, Prospecting, Turbulent". Considering the severe but immeasurable despair she has experienced over the years, her personality has slightly changed, albeit she was clearly demented from the beginning. The enneagram personality test is highly controversial, and the alignment chart is rather one-dimensional, so neither shall be used for her. However, via the latter system, Midari would certainly be chaotic.

Midari is not directly connected to Kakegurui's themes, but she is one of the worst possible products of them. She is the outcome of oppression caused by capitalism and Christianity when left to their own devices.

[frawgkin]

I believe the sole problem with everything is selfishness. Not just your shit . But all the shits. Every single rookie is because of selfishness. Frawgkin God Of Men! If you want to be a better person.... Stop being so fucking SELFISH! FUCK Nothing personal ima selfish pompous prick

what can I share? what do I even have worth sharing? I’m just a dumbass man. I’m working on my body so I can be accepted more physically by women. I’m reading to stimulate my mind. I’m reading aloud. I will read to you if you want. I try so hard to make connections with people. every time I talk to people in real life I look them in the eyes. my friends know I care about them. I try to uplift them until it becomes too much. I don’t have what I need to do what I can and I gotta keep being fine with it so maybe I’ll get it from my mom. Or maybe I can work for it. It seems like a never ending thing. Besides that I’ve found peace within myself. I no longer hate me. I now see how I can be a positive force and a negative force depending on my reaction. I accept responsibility. I apply for jobs and I call. I swipe and I message. I do more than go through the motions I enjoy them. I watch romantic things to learn how to be better somehow. I watch foreign things so my perspective can constantly shift. People in other countries have written books about ending their life’s because of things I’ve just been through and was strong enough to look past. Obviously their traditions are different but I am constant trying to evolve to fit in as a human. I feel like the furthest thing from a man and the furthest thing from a human. I’m not even as horny as my peers. It’s not low sperm count or anything these niggas just seem to think women exist just for them to fuck. It gets annoying. I adore a person from time to time. I keep it quiet so I don’t have to hear them say something I wouldn’t like. I’m selfish for that alone. I don’t know how else I’m selfish. Everyone else just watching me go nuts. It’s just the shit that builds a crazy ass man. I’m fighting the good fight okay, I’m trying not to be a deranged black man. But I can’t get a break nowhere I turn. Thank you for being the only contributor though. I respect that. Everyone else literally is too busy or does not care. And that’s fine. I’m not even mad. I just need everyone to be aware of the fact that I’m trying and I want to be loved too. I’ve cared and given the necessary advice to people. I think i am living proof that what goes around doesn’t always come back around. Thank you though. Maybe I can make an acronym out of ‘selfish’ and put it on my wall to remind me not to just think only of me.

[imhereforbvcky]

Watch Me Run - Part 5

Masterlist  -  Series Masterpage  -  Part 4  -  Part 6

Summary: You inherit a family relic that gives you the gift of foresight but there are others who are interested for more nefarious reasons. You turn to the Avengers for help. (Bucky x reader… eventually. I love a slow burn okay?!)

Prompt: The nightmare comes frequently and at the same time every day - one day you manage to sleep peacefully only to be greeted with the morning news by a story of a gruesome murder. The victim is the same person that’d appeared in your dreams

Warnings: none I think! I don’t even know if I swore in this one!

Word Count: 2016

A/N: Some day I will make a graphic and a masterpage for this fic... Some day... Huge thank you to @littlemisssyreid for helping me fix this chapter up!

If there was one thing that Bucky Barnes could do well, it was disappear into a crowd. He’d practiced it countless times over decades of running from ghosts and demons; some imagined, some real. Immeasurable resources had been invested into making sure he could disappear when needed - making sure he could be nothing but a ghost story.

The last time, running from HYDRA, and SHIELD, and every other government acronym he could think of, it had all been confusing and unnerving at first. He’d wake in the middle of the night from a dream that tugged at him like a memory. He could never quite piece together the past and he’d run, seeking anywhere that wasn't familiar. With unrelenting desperation, he’d sought any place where he could look down an alley without seeing blood on his hands. He'd needed time to get his feet beneath him after years of shifting ground.

This time, he knew who he was and he had one goal: put that training to good use for once and keep you safe and hidden.

With your bag over his shoulder and an arm around your waist, Bucky guided you into the station. While you found the sudden proximity more than a little jarring, you were damn grateful for the support. Your head still throbbed from where Tony’s driver had tried to crack your skull against your own bathroom floor. Your legs felt wobbly beneath you as your head spun and you bit back nausea.

Rest. Why wouldn’t Bucky just let you rest.

“I need you to pull it together, people are starting to stare,” he whispered in your ear, while pretending to look over your shoulder at the iconic clock behind you. The buzz of Grand Central Station whirled around you, adding to the hazy feeling behind your eyelids.

“Oh please, these people have seen worse hangovers on the Monday commuter,” you grumbled before pulling away from him a little. Maybe you were leaning on him more than was absolutely necessary, but you were groggy and he was strong. It was nice to have something to hold onto for a moment while your world fell out from beneath your feet.

“Wait here, I’m going to get us tickets.” You slumped to the floor, leaning your head back against the smooth marble wall and wincing against the pain of the tender bruise at the back of your head. “You see those cameras there?” he asked and your gaze followed his nod as he glanced at the various security cameras around the station “They can’t see you from here. Don’t move.”

You watched one of the two cameras as they swiveled but never quite made the angle to reach you. “Don’t move. Got it. I can definitely do that.”

He didn’t go far, not even to the ticket counter. Instead, he thrust a crisp one hundred dollar bill in front of a panhandler, promising it would be his if he’d bring back 4 specific tickets using the rest of the money Bucky slipped into his pocket.

Four tickets and one happy homeless man later, you and Bucky were on the move again. This time he’d shed his jacket, instructing you to keep your head up as you made your way to the subway station. You passed in clear line of surveillance cameras as you navigated the crowds onto the train headed downtown, towards the Tower. None of this made sense. Secrecy one moment, in full view of the cameras the next?

Without warning Bucky shoved your back against the wall of the train car beside the door. Stunned confusion played across your face. The fog of the concussion lingering in your brain left you gaping at Bucky as his large hands gripped your shoulders. He waited only a moment, glancing at the other boarding passengers before slipping his jacket back on and pulling the hood over his head. He knelt quickly and unzipped your bag, tossing you a hoodie and sunglasses.

“Put ‘em on, quick,” he insisted. He yanked the bottom of the hoodie as you pulled it over your head, urging you to change faster. Now hiding from the sight of the security cameras, he then took your hand and dragged you behind him the length of the train car, before stepping back out onto the platform. The same platform you’d just entered from.

“What the hell?” you grumbled as the doors slid closed behind you and the train left in the direction of Stark Tower without you. “We need it to look like you’ve gone back to the Tower,” he explained in a low murmur. “The others can be ready for him when he tries to follow you there. But we’ll be long gone.”

He hardly spoke as he pulled you through this maze; all you could do was hang on and follow orders, growing more and more irritated as the exhaustion crept into your bones.

He was nearly silent, moving swiftly back up the stairs to Grand Central terminal. This time you avoided the cameras, skimming the edges of the building and blending in with the crowd. He’d pulled you under his arm, wordlessly ordering you to keep your head down. With your body pressed so close to him, his jacket obscured half of your body, there was no way anyone would be able to pick you out in the crowd, even if they tracked you to the station.

With nothing to do but wait on the platform for the New Haven line, all of the racing around and secrecy began to catch up with you. The fear and rush of self-preservation slipped away as the events of the day began to sink in. It became impossible to keep your thoughts from straying to the mess you were in; the dead body in your apartment, the pulsing ache at the back of your head, the crushing imminence of the situation - how close you had been to death. Already.

Suddenly all of your fear and frustration erupted to the surface and in a panicked haze, you directed it at nearest person to you. Bucky.

You shoved your hands against him and wriggled out from under his arm. He looked down at you with a confused scowl.

“Will you talk to me?” you hissed.

“What?”

“What the hell is going on? First we’re driving back to the Tower, then we’re on a train to the Tower, running through the train station like we’re on some deranged scavenger hunt, and now we’re just standing here?” You were starting to panic, everything was catching up, settling in your brain, and pushing you to the brink. “Is-is someone following us? What are we doing? Are we safe here?”

You ran your hands over your face, wishing that when you opened your eyes this would all be a dream. No such luck. Your hands shook as you pulled them away and your breathing came in tight hiccuping gasps.

Bucky reached out to grip your elbow firmly and pull you back to him. “You cannot make a scene here,” he whispered harshly in your ear, wrapping his other arm tightly around your shoulders. “We’re trying to get out of the city unnoticed. Not the place for this.”

“I-- I can’t breathe!” you sputtered between frantic gasps as your hands clambered at the fabric of his hoodie. Willing your lungs to take in more oxygen, your eyes began to water, hot salty tears spilling out over your cheeks. Your other hand gripped tightly to the edge of Bucky’s jacket for any semblance of stability; your world was spinning out of control and any sense of power sifted through your fingers like it was snow that was too cold, too crisp to hold together.

“Anybody here could-- could be... “ you stammered.  A flood of awareness struck you full force as the gravity of it all began to weigh on your mind. “And-- and-- and what about my family? I didn’t even think about my aunt! And my-- my-- I have a roommate! Shit! She’s going to come home to a busted in door and a fucking dead guy on the bathroom floor! That guy was… was fine on the way over. Holy shit. Does that mean Loki was outside my apartment?!” Your hands flew to cover your mouth, as if containing the words would make them less true.

“Woah woah, slow down. You’re okay,” Bucky hushed you, this time with a more comforting tone. “Tony will be watching your family and they’ll clean up the mess at your apartment, if the police aren’t already there.” He was so close and so quiet. His warm breath fanned over the ridge of your ear as he held you tight. To anyone else on the platform you looked like a couple enjoying each other’s warmth. In reality, you were choking on your own stuttering sobs as a fresh wave of helplessness overwhelmed you.

“But he… he was right there! How can anyone protect me?” you cried. “How can I be safe anywhere?”

“Listen,” he said firmly. He leaned back just enough to take your face in both hands. He tilted your head up to meet his determined gaze and even the gesture, the steadiness it provided, had a calming effect on your frayed nerves. Just having something concrete to focus on was enough. “You were in the first place anyone would look. I shouldn’t have taken you back to your apartment, but I promise, I’m going to get you out of here. No one will know where to start looking, okay?”

You nodded through a sniffle, his hands, still clasped around your face, bobbing with the motion.

“That’s a little Dexter Morgan, but, thanks?” you managed to laugh. A breathy, wet sound, stiff through tears and a low simmering fear that would never quite dissipate.

“There you are.” He smiled down at you and released you, only to drop his arm back over your shoulder as the train approached. He sighed as he ushered you forward. “It’ll get easier. It’s been a long day and you’re not used to all this yet.”

“Yet,” you scoffed. The bitterness was almost palpable on your tongue as you spat the word. “So where are we going?”

Bucky knelt beside you as you slid into one of the booths, making room for him. Instead of joining you, he dropped your duffle bag onto the seat you’d left vacant for him and pulled out a wad of cash.

“You are going to Connecticut.” He reached for a pen and began scribbling on the back of a train schedule. “Get off at this stop,” he instructed, circling the stop three times. “There’s a motel a quarter of a mile from the train stop.” He scrawled out the name of it. “Ask for room 107. Pay cash.”

“You’re… you’re leaving?” you stammered. A wave of shock and panic flushed all the blood from your face as your stomach twisted into knots.

“Trust me, if I had any other choice… But we need supplies, doll.”

“Dolls are for children. This isn’t a game, Barnes!” you snapped. You were fuming, glaring at him. By now your emotions were utterly fried and you’d bypassed polite at least 2 crises ago. Fear threatened to bubble to the surface again at the thought of going this alone. You’d have died in your apartment on your own; how the hell would you get safely out of the city?

“It’s just Bucky,” he corrected as he rose to his feet with a reassuring smile before squeezing your shoulder gently. “And I’ll be right behind you. I just need an hour and we’ll be ready to disappear.”

You could only manage to stare at him, somewhere between a glare and a shocked frown.

He picked up the train schedule again and turned the writing to your face. “Follow these directions,” he urged, placing the pamphlet with his notes into your hands.  “And stay awake!” He adjusted his hood lower over his face and stepped off the train.

Before the doors had even closed he was gone.

Tags: strikethrough means Tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you. Let me know if you’ve changed your URL and I’ll update. Otherwise if you have the NSFW setting on or your blog isn’t searchable, Tumblr may prevent tagging you. If I can’t tag you thrice, I’ll remove you from the list.

Everything: @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes  @creideamhgradochas  @johnmurphys-sass  @nykitass  @learisa  @4theluvofall  @ailynalonso15  @amrita31199  @assbutt-son-of-a-bitch  @badassbaker  @bethy-sue  @brandnewberettaa  @caitsymichelle13  @calaofnoldor  @callamint  @charlesgrey1875  @cojootromuelle  @denialanderror  @dracsgirl  @dreamtravelerme  @ek823  @emilyinbuffalo  @epicbooklove  @explodingzombiesyndrome  (2)  @feelmyroarrrr  @forgottenswan  @ginamsmith  @givemethatgold  @glittervelvetandlace  @haleyloveshugs  @heartsaved  @hellomissmabel  @-hiddlesdweeb-  @hollycornish  @httpmcrvel  @i-am-mrsreckless  @iiharu-kunii  @imheretomarvel  @indominusregina  @ishipmybed  @itsnotsomefangirl  @james-bionic-barnes  @jurassicbarnes  @justreadingfics  @just-call-me-your-darling  @kanupps06  @kapolisradomthoughts  @k-nighttt  @kaaatniss  @langinator  @larry-pringles  @lilasiannerd  @lovelyladylilac  @luckylundy13  @marvelatmytrash  @mcfuccfairy  @melconnor2007  @movingonto-betterthings  @mrs-lamezec  @midnightloverslie  @moonbeambucky  @morduniversum  @mrs-brxghtside  @nikkitia7  @nicmob  (2)  @omalleysgirl22  @palaiasaurus64  @pcterpvrker  @pickledmoon  @pineapplebooboo  @rockintensse  @rotisserierogers  @rrwilson66  @sammysgirl1997  @science-of-deduction-sh  @saharzek (1) @sebbytrash  @secondstartotheright-imagines  @sgtjamesbuchananbarnes107th  @shifutheshihtzu @simplyashley95  @sociallyimpairedme  @sophiealiice  @stupidsweaterwearingdumbdorks  @tequilavet  @thatgirlsar  @thebitterbookeater  @theliarone  @thelastxgoodthing  @unlikelygalaxygiver  @w1nterchild  @waywardpumpkin  @winterboobaer   @witchymarvelspacecase  @wordsturnintostories  @xnegansgirlx  @zoejohnson8  @cassandras-musings    @decemberftw  (2)  @tired-alpaca  @sapphire1727   @spookymaddie  (2)  @whyisbuckyso  @you-didnt-see-that-cuming 

Series:

@aka-angela  @buckysquad  @emmahemmings26  @ex-bookjunky  @fizzylollipop12  @flashwarning0-0  @ihavemymomentsstill @kozmicrock  @kudosia  @lightningdays23  @lovingllamareview  @marvelrevival  @qnzdiamond104  @rebeccamaximoff  @sarahmatthews7  @seb-smut (1)  @thedoctorlivesthroughbooks  @tittymuncher69  @untimelyideasforstories  @waitforthehurricanelore 

[undertale-rho]

Underearth: Book 4 - Chapter 21

Frisk's eyes snapped open. Everywhere around him was black, save a white point of light every now and then. The lone Human shot around every-which-way, trying to find any sign of where he was.

"CALM DOWN." the Timepiece eventually said. "RELAX, AND USE GRAVITY MAGIC TO GO TOWARDS THIS POINT OF LIGHT."

Even though the Timepiece didn't make a gesture towards any particular point, Frisk knew exactly which one it talked about. Focusing gravity magic around himself, Frisk lurched as he felt himself falling towards the point of light. After about a minute, the point of light became more defined, its shape becoming clearer and clearer. On closer inspection, Frisk recognized it to be a structure of some kind, his own mind going to a mansion, the color of which was an alabaster white.

"SLOW DOWN." the Timepiece said.

Frisk eased on the gravity magic, slowing himself enough to land on the structure's front wall without injuring himself.

"NOW, OPEN THE SOUL JAR."

"Open it?" Frisk asked, looking wearily down at the red SOUL contained within.

"YES."

Letting out a slow sigh, Frisk carefully opened the top of the jar. As soon as it opened, the SOUL flew out and hovered a short distance in front of Frisk. After a few seconds, the SOUL glowed a brighter red as stuff formed around it. As Frisk watched the stuff form, he recognized what was forming to be a body, specifically the body of Calibri. Once its formation had finished, Calibri opened his eyes, staring right at Frisk.

"I saw everything." he said. "Including... Chara, with LOV."

Stunned at this seemingly sudden change of heart, Frisk turned to the offensive. "What makes you so sure that was Chara?" he asked, his voice carrying acid. "After all, Chara's been dead for six hundred years."

Calibri raised his arms a bit. "Alright, I deserved that. To answer your question, though, there's a painting of Asriel and Chara in the Oldtown Palace."

"The Oldtown Palace?" Frisk asked, not exactly expecting a straight answer.

"Yeah, a building situated where the Elysian Palace used to be, before Asgore caused that it should be levitated up to where it is now. The Oldtown Palace is now more of a memorial to the dead heirs than a place people live, built to resemble the Elysian Palace in most every way."

"So, that's it then. After you killed me a few times, then yourself, we're just best buds?"

Calibri looked down at Frisk. "I mean, isn't that kind of how it went with Undyne some time ago? No wait, that's right. You two hung out first. We'll jump to that, then. Let's see, with both Papyrus and Undyne, you mostly talked and learned some stuff regarding this world, so let's go with that. Ask some questions, and I'll do my best to answer them." Calibri sat down on the wall.

"Wh—What?"

"I'm not gonna try to kill you, guess we should start with that. Next up, I guess I should say that I'm sorry for not believing you when you said Chara had taken LOV and was planning to destroy Humanity with it. But then that begs the question, if she seeks to destroy Humanity, has she gotten enough power to destroy the Barrier? If so, why sit around and wait for you to arrive instead of beginning her quest to eradicate Humanity? If not, why sit around and wait for you to arrive instead of continuing to slaughter Monsters to grow in power."

"Would you slow down for a second?" Frisk said, trying to cut into Calibri's conversation with himself.

Calibri looked up at him. "Oh, sorry. Got carried away."

"You said you'd answer questions?"

"Yup."

Frisk took a deep breath. "What is LOV?"

Calibri's jaw dropped open. "You mean... Sans never told you?"

"He said something about LOVE, but since you pronounce the O like you do, I'm starting to get a feeling that... they're two different things."

"They are. LOVE is a metric used by the judiciaries of the Monster Kingdom when sentencing. In this case, both EXP; EXecution Points, and LOVE; Levels Of ViolencE, go hand-in-hand in determining which criminal punishment should be placed on the guilty party.

"LOV, however, is something completely different. While watching Sans preform his judicial duties to the Throne, I found that every now and then, a murderous Monster would come in with... something attached to their SOUL. At the time, I signaled to Sans to let me take the first few with me to study. These things were incredibly weak, but I found that it seemed to... feed on the SOUL's SOUL TRAITs, two seeming to be its preferred choice, KINDNESS and INTEGRITY. It didn't consume DETERMINATION, though, instead creating it as a waste product. On later subjects, I found that a magic type that Sans was good at, karma magic, eradicated the LOV, along with the parts of the SOUL it was attached to. Seeing as LOV only grows on select individuals, I hypothesize that it must come from somewhere, like a disease, but I've yet to even prove if that's the case. The only thing I ever managed to confirm is that those with LOV wanted it to grow inside them."

"Why is it called LOV?" Frisk asked, hoping to divert from that train of thought.

Calibri chuckled to himself a bit. "Those brought in who had LOV growing on them were all serial killers. As such, they were given a higher LOVE. I thought it appropriate to base the name of this... stuff off the acronym. Ironic, too, which made it all the better."

"Yeah. So, how does the, LOVE metric work?" Frisk asked.

Calibri let out a small, short laugh. "I'm, uh, not exactly the legal expert here. I just know that there's a logic to it, I don't actually know the logic. Maybe, when you bring everybody back, you could ask Sans about it. He's more the legal expert."

It was Frisk's turn to laugh this time. "Really? That's a laugh."

"Oh yeah. Only he could figure out all the loopholes to operating six different jobs at the same time despite only being able to be in one place at a time." Calibri said.

They both laughed at the light-heartedness of the conversation. Finally, Frisk sat down on the wall as well.

"So Frisk," Calibri said. "if you don't mind me asking, what made you start hunting Monsters and growing LOV in the first place?"

Frisk's face turned as white as the mansion. "I... I..."

"If you don't want to be super precise, just give me the vaguest of answers. It may, at the very least, give me more information on LOV's origins than I have now."

Frisk thought for a bit. "Something... horrible happened to a friend of mine. I then died and I wanted the power to make it never happen again. LOV promised me that."

"I see... That doesn't really shed much light... tell me, what happened to your friend?"

Frisk's eyes went dark as his hand covered his mouth, the screams of anguish echoing inside his head.

"Frisk?" Calibri asked, leaning a little bit closer.

"I don't want to talk about it..."

Calibri tilted his head, his own mind deep in thought. After a few seconds, his eyes shifted back to Frisk. "What city did this happen in?"

Frisk looked back at Calibri. "A—Athens. Why?"

Calibri leaned away. "Ah..." he said informatively. He then took a deep breath before speaking again. "Yeah, that'd do it..."

"You know of Athens?"

"Yeah. Used to stop by more often, but I personally prefer Thebes over both Athens and Sparta. Much smaller and quieter."

"I've, never really been to either. At least recently."

"Back to what happened," Calibri said. "did it take place near that skyscraper that just screams 'I'm a criminal mastermind'?"

Frisk gave him a weird look. "There's no building I'd describe like that, no."

"Sure there is. It's the tallest building in the city, you can see it from almost anywhere."

Frisk thought about that for a second. "Oh!" he said after a bit, his face lighting up in revelation. "That building exploded about half a month ago. Collapsed to the ground after a series of explosions. Nobody took responsibility for it, but the news says it was a terrorist bombing. A bunch of other people think the Mad Man did it, though."

"The Mad Man?" Calibri asked.

"Some deranged lunatic. Burned down all the homeless shelters in the city a while ago for some reason."

"Strange..." Calibri's eyes began to drift as he slowly engulfed himself in waves of thought.

"Why were you asking about that building?" Frisk asked.

Calibri's eyes refocused on Frisk after a second. "No reason." he said quickly.

"I see..." Frisk said slowly, somewhat suspicious of his answer. After a bit, Frisk set his mind to a new question. "How do you know of the surface?"

"I thought it was obvious, I've been there." Calibri said with a matter-of-fact tone. "My SOUL has the strengths of a Human's, so it doesn't get stopped by the Barrier, unlike any Cursed SOUL. The surface is also the place I got that TAC-50 I shot you with a few times?"

"Wait, a few times? Is that what happened in the Hotlands?"

"As you approached the lab the first time? Yeah. Gonna be honest, though, I have no idea how you survived that shot. I blasted your arm off at the shoulder, yet you were still moving your head and other arm around even though the air pressure from the bullet should have sucked your eyes out and scrambled your brain."

Frisk shuttered as he imagined that happening.

"Alright," Calibri said, breaking the silence that had formed. "now for the million-dollar question. Back before we fought, you asked for my help to defeat Chara. I'm willing to help now. What's your attack-plan?"

Frisk looked at Calibri. "Uh..." he said. "I, uh... haven't really thought up one."

Calibri let out a heavy sigh. "Alright," he said. "let's think of something. What do we, or more accurately, you, know?"

"Um... She has LOV."

"Alright, that part's obvious. What else?"

Frisk thought harder, though barely anything was surfacing. "Uh..." he said, trying to fill the silence. "She's powerful."

"That seems to come with LOV."

"I don't know what else."

Calibri let out an even heavier sigh. "Oh boy, this is gonna be great. Alright, let's try working with that. LOV is extremely weak to karma magic. I'm... adept at it, so that's gonna have to do."

"Sounds great. What else do we need to do?"

Calibri stood up. "Well first and foremost, we need to find them. Can't exactly kill without facing what you're gonna kill in the first place."

"I don't want to kill them." Frisk said.

Calibri looked back. "Excuse me?"

"I said I don't want to kill Chara."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"I want to save her from LOV's control."

Calibri let out a scoffing laugh. "Oh, knight in shining armor," he said. "I don't think that's even possible."

"It is!" Frisk said, getting on his feet.

"And what makes you so sure of that?" Calibri asked.

"Because I was under LOV's influence before Chara tore it from me."

Calibri breathed in to argue more, but remained silent, bringing his hand to his lower lip. "Interesting..." he said. He then looked back up at Frisk. "Any idea how to do this?"

It was then Frisk's turn to retreat deep into thought. "... no, not really..." he said after a bit of silence.

Calibri sighed again. "Well, tell you what. We'll think about how to do what you're wanting to do while we find them."

"Alright." Frisk said. "Know where we should start looking?"

"Not a clue..."

"SEARCH THIS BUILDING." the Timepiece said.

"Why not start here? Go from the bottom floor all the way to the roof?" Frisk then asked.

Calibri looked back at Frisk. "Good a place to start as any."

Calibri walked down the wall to the front door, carefully flipping over so his feet connected with the "bottom" of the building.

"What the hell is with the gravity of this place, anyway?" Calibri mumbled to himself as he stepped inside.

Frisk, not wanting to be left behind, quickly followed him inside.

Sozo : Understanding

Previous First posting First of this book Next

[bintaeran]

Catching Up with Dr. Timothy McCall about His Life, His Health, and His New Book

Catching Up with Dr. Timothy McCall about His Life, His Health, and His New Book Nina Zolotow by Nina

Nina: Welcome back to Yoga for Healthy Aging, Timothy! While many of our readers know who you are and realize that you used to write for our blog back in the day (see Farewell, Timothy McCall. And Thank You So Much!), there may be some of our newer readers who don’t know much about you. So why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself? Timothy: Thank you, Nina! It’s good to be back. My background is in medicine. I practiced as a specialist in internal medicine for about 12 years, before devoting myself 20 years ago to the study, practice, and teaching of yoga therapy. I write books, including my 2007 book Yoga as Medicine, which you helped with, in a few different ways, and which featured Baxter as one of the models. I’ve also been the Medical Editor of Yoga Journal since 2002. Besides writing, the thing that keeps me busiest is teaching yoga therapy workshops. Next month I’ll be leading trainings in Australia and New Zealand, which will be my first time in either country. I’m really excited because I’m planning to teach for 3 weeks and take 3 weeks in between workshops to explore and have fun. I don’t take as many vacations as I should, and I’m really looking forward to this trip! Nina: And what have you been up to since you left California and stopped writing for our blog? Timothy: Along with continuing to teach, I spent a couple of years co-editing and contributing to a medical textbook on yoga therapy called The Principles and Practice of Yoga in Health Care. The idea was to collect the scientific research on yoga in one place, and to present that information to health care professionals. Our goal, of course, was to get them to think about incorporating yoga and yoga therapy into the care of their patients. And, as you know, two years ago I got diagnosed with cancer, a stage IVa squamous cell carcinoma on my tonsil that metastasized to three lymph nodes on the opposite side of my neck. So that’s kept me busy…. Nina: We here at Yoga for Healthy Aging, along with most people in your life, had no idea that you were undergoing treatment for cancer until last June when you made an official announcement about both having throat cancer and having written a book about alternative therapies you used to support you through your treatments. Can you tell us something about what motivated you to write your personal story in Saving My Neck, which is a very different kind of book than Yoga as Medicine? Timothy: When I went got diagnosed just before Thanksgiving 2016, I decided to kept it private. I know I would have received a lot of support from my friends in the yoga world, but I just felt like I needed to just get through the treatments. That still feels like the right decision. I initially had no intention of writing about it, but I learned so much along the way, I felt like I had to. To make the decisions I faced at every step, I did a ton of research, and it took me in some surprising directions that affected what I did. I ended up applying many holistic approaches—including yoga and Ayurveda—to complement the chemotherapy and radiation I got. I’m convinced that what I did made a tremendous difference going through chemoradiation. These tools made the cancer treatment easier to bear, sped my return to normal function—and maybe even increased my odds of getting cured. So really the book, the full title of which is Saving My Neck: A Doctor’s East/West Journey Through Cancer, is the story of how someone with a background in both conventional medicine and holistic healing figured out what to do when faced with a life-threatening disease. It was an amazing learning experience for me – and transformational—and I hope it will be an eye-opener for readers, too. 

Nina: Because our blog focuses on yoga, can you tell us some examples of how yoga supported you during your treatments for cancer? Timothy: Yoga supported me not just during my treatment but before, as I prepared, and after, as I tried to recover from the ravages of chemotherapy and radiation. During my treatments, the side effects limited what I could do. Some days just standing and lifting my arms over my head felt like too much. Even my go-to restorative pose, Viparita Karani (Legs Up the Wall pose) with a bolster under my pelvis became impossible after the first couple of weeks. I had so much inflammation in my mouth that after one minute in the pose, phlegm built up in my mouth and I’d start to cough. And coughing by that stage was extremely painful as all the tissues in my mouth and throat had been so badly traumatized. What I found instead was supported prone Bharadvajasana. One of the most feared long-term aftereffects of head and neck radiation is fibrosis, stiffening of the tissues of the mouth and throat. So, this pose—lying my torso over a bolster, with my knees and head turned in the same direction—was not only restorative, but it gave a wonderful stretch to the tissues of my neck. I did it on both sides, and often a few times per day. I’d guess I averaged more than an hour a day in just that one pose! Nina: You’ve been through so much. How does your practice continue to support you today? Timothy: My strength and stamina have returned to what they were before I got sick, so I’m back to doing a stronger asana practice. One thing I did as I was recovering (and continue to do), which made a huge difference, was a very slow pranayama practice. I should caution readers that I’ve had a daily pranayama practice for 18 years, and I’ve worked up to long breath-holding very slowly over the years. What I did is not something that should be attempted without the proper preparation—and guidance from a teacher. That said, my daily practice for the last year has been a very slow Nadi Shodhana, alternate nostril breathing. Specifically, I inhale through one nostril for 16 seconds, hold my breath for 16 seconds, exhale through the opposite nostril for 16 seconds, and hold the breath out for another 16 seconds. Then I do it on the other side and repeat. So that means I’m breathing less than one breath per minute. I do it for about 20 minutes every morning. I’ve had a lifelong twitchiness of my nervous system and a major vata derangement—both likely due to early life trauma, which I describe in Saving My Neck. This practice, I believe, has had a huge impact on both of these. That and everything else I did to fight the cancer and deal with the treatments—and recover from them both—has left me healthier today (as far as I can tell!) and more balanced than I’ve ever been. Nina: How would you say your experience with cancer applies to people who have other life-threatening illnesses? Timothy: One of the central principles of holistic healing is that the treatment is not based on the medical diagnosis per se so much as it’s designed to address whatever imbalances a person has. In yoga therapy, we like to say, we treat people, not conditions. In the therapy work I do, I divide up the territory of mind, body, and spirit into five categories, using an acronym SNAPS. That stands for Structure, Nervous System and Breath, Ayurveda, Psychology, and Spirituality. The way I treated any problem, including the many I faced on this journey through cancer, was to address as many aspects of my being as my time and energy allowed. So, I did yoga practices and bodywork to work on my structure, I chanted and did breath work for my nervous system, I meditated, I worked to balance myself from an Ayurvedic standpoint, and I tried to deal skillfully with the psychological challenges that a cancer diagnosis presents. Once I’d started to recover from treatment, I noticed a growing hunger—more urgency than I’ve felt for years – to do what I feel like I’ve been put on the planet to do. And writing Saving My Neck—which as you mentioned, is a memoir and is very different than anything I’ve written before—was a process of discovery, as I examined every aspect of what I’d been through. This process took me even deeper on the path of yoga. Nina: Is there anything else you’d like to tell our readers? Timothy: I’d just like to thank everyone in the yoga world for all the love and support that I’ve received since I went public with my cancer diagnosis last summer. People have reached out to me to say how much my work has meant to them, in a way I’d never heard before. It all has been incredibly gratifying. And if I could just say one more thing about Saving My Neck: I’ve decided to publish it myself rather than using a mainstream publisher. This one feels more personal than my other books, and I wanted to be able to control every aspect, from who edited it to the quality of the paper it gets printed on. But indie publishing doesn’t have the marketing and publicity clout of conventional publishing, so I’m reaching out to the yoga world. If you read the book and it speaks to you, please help spread the word. Thank you all!

The Kindle version of Timothy’s book Saving My Neck will be released January 1, 2019, and you can pre-order on Amazon now. You can also read an excerpt of the book on the Yoga Journal website. Yoga Journal has an excerpt of the book on their web site.  The hardcover version of the book will not be released until May 2, 2019. If you want updates on its release, check his website DrMcCall.com or sign up for his email newsletter at drmccall.com/subscribe.html.

Timothy McCall, MD is a board-certified physician specializing in internal medicine, and the author of two books, Examining Your Doctor: A Patient's Guide to Avoiding Harmful Medical Care (Citadel Press) and Yoga as Medicine: The Yogic Prescription for Health and Healing (Bantam) in addition to his forthcoming book Saving My Neck. He is co-editor of the first medical textbook on yoga therapy, The Principles and Practice of Yoga in Health Care (Handspring Publishing, 2016). He practiced medicine for more than 10 years in the Boston area before devoting himself full-time to investigating and teaching yoga therapy. Certified as a yoga therapist by the International Association of Yoga Therapists, he is the Founder/Director of Yoga As Medicine Seminars and Teacher Trainings and, until 2016, co-directed a yoga therapy center just outside of New York City.  Subscribe to Yoga for Healthy Aging by Email ° Follow Yoga for Healthy Aging on Facebook and Twitter ° To order Yoga for Healthy Aging: A Guide to Lifelong Well-Being, go to Amazon, Shambhala, Indie Bound or your local bookstore.

Catching Up with Dr. Timothy McCall about His Life, His Health, and His New Book https://ift.tt/2PjOflB themostdangerous1 https://ift.tt/2Ruq0mJ via IFTTT