#love my human squad in game

[tadpole-apocalypse]

I think I’m really into romancing Astarion as a human cause it just makes for such a fun dynamic in my head. He’d see them as short lived little mayflys, aging and dying in the blink of an eye…why bother forming relationships or even learning their names? They’ll be gone before he knows it. It’s bad enough he has to deal with the immortal ones, like Petras.

Except for the one that got her clutches onto his soul and now he has to cherish every single second he’s got before it’s over.

[arolesbianism]

Doodle of my boy

[asterroses]

i call this "maud and the salad squad"

[cescalr]

Barbie movie trailer looking fucking terrible. BRB gonna go get out my white blue and red 3d glasses and watch magic of pegasus to remeber what joy feels like /joke but not really. Only the part where I still have those glasses and wouldn't give myself a headache trying to use them haha don't you just love degenerative eye conditions and the passage of time

[misscammiedawn]

Thinking about We Know The Devil and Heaven Will Be Mine today. A duology. WKTD the tells the story of accepting you're queer, framed as a horror story of 3 repressed teenagers at a christian summer camp fighting off their inherent queerness and HWBM tells the story of how one accepts their place in society after embracing their queerness.

WKTD uses magical girl tropes in a fairly grounded Midwestern teen experience.

Magical girl stories often involve the struggle of the forces of Good and Evil. Purity and Impurity. Corruption often being a core theme of any girl squad facing down the nightmarish forces. This can be seen from Madoka's approach to the concept which is often referred to as a deconstruction. The Pink Opaque from I Saw The TV Glow overtly uses these themes in the exact same allegory as WKTD with the evil forces attempting to suppress the queerness of the protagonists.

HWBM uses mech anime tropes in an allegorical wonderland where the setting fades away to have the audience engage with the ideas at play rather than the lore. Mech anime often uses the giant robot duels as a method of visualizing ideological struggles. Too often in these shows beam sabers will cross as the pilots yell at one another to embrace ideas of how the concepts of war and prejudice can be battled out of existence.

In HWBM the "war" in play is humans versus space... or more accurately humans versus those who are not of Earth. Versus those who are alien. Versus those who are not human.

The dominant culture versus queer culture.

WKTD frames its tropes via the dating sim mechanics popular within its visual novel medium. But rather than choosing which of the 3 girls the player wishes to romance you must choose which of the 3 you wish to exclude. The idea being to scapegoat one's struggle with queerness by attacking outward, blaming the other, by shaming others into the closet to keep yourself in there.

Lashing outward to prevent reflecting inward.

The only good ending of the game is to accept a polycule dynamic where everyone is seen, accepted and embraced for who they are unconditionally. God's love, in this world, is conditional and one must always be excluded. The devil has room for three.

There is no room in normal society for a polycule. It is inherently queer. The dominant culture is binary and there's no version of a polycule where only a 0 and a 1 are represented. The binary is incompatible.

I recently told a friend that the duology tells the journey of a thousand miles and how it begins with a single step. WKTD is the story of that first and all too important step acceptance.

HWBM is the story of what comes after acceptance. After that first step.

It tells the story of the thousand mile journey.

The ideologies at play are the concepts of assimilation, activism and separationism. In the allegory Earth/Humanity represents the dominant "straight" society and the three characters represent each of these ideologies. Assimilation is to return to Earth, to integrate into the dominant culture and lose some of the inherent joy and "otherness" that being queer brings. It's no coincidence that the character representing this path is a trans woman who is known for defecting from her faction and crossing over to every other side while repeating the mantra "I've never betrayed anyone in my life", it is a coincidence however that her faction's war efforts are lead in part by God's Strongest Chaser herself (as far as I'm aware the Halimede Twitter Account is not affiliated with the game, but I find it funny that the assimilation path is represented by someone who a character whose gimmick account argues "t4t is incest"). It is a life of peace. But it is a life of compromise. Of giving up humanity's dream of the stars. To be grounded and tethered to Earth forever.

The Activism Path represents the idea of staying in Earth's orbit but never surrendering even an ounce of the queer identity for the sake of acceptance. Forcing the dominant culture to argue with us on our terms. Accept us on our terms. It is a life of constant battle but in that battle we will save those on Earth, invite them into the stars, embrace them with acceptance and love. Let them join us or remain where they are. This is a life of constant war, knowing that until all are loved and accepted, no one is and so we continue fighting. Letting people change sides. Nothing changes but maybe it's better that way.

Separation is the idea of abandoning Earth entirely. To become so incompatible with the dominant culture that we are no longer "human" to those who remain tethered. We are unapproachable. Separate. Unique. Other. Queer above anything else and incapable of creating a rational dialogue with the dominant culture. It is picking up your toys and walking away. Going far enough away from the culture war that it will never be able to reach you.

The author of the Halimede account once wrote, while in character, that this is the saddest ending of them all because it's unsustainable and that it does not address the inherent intersectional fighting between communities, allowing wars to simply break out further away from our blue marble in the distant stars. It is a life of abandoning war without embracing peace. To live separate in bubbles apart.

The ending of the game forces you to pick. There is no existing outside of these options. Maybe one day we'll find other ways to be but within the view of this game they are all we have. Embrace Earth, declare war on Earth or abandon Earth.

Choose.

I admit. Since the pandemic and coming out as trans, I've favored Saturn's ideology more than others. Completely giving up on "humanity" and only working within circles of those whose acceptance of queer culture is baked in. I fought so hard to accept who I was and "know the devil", so to speak, that I pulled back and withdrew.

Both games have a lot of themes about the demons ones must face within queer culture and outside of it. The way we hurt ourselves, hurt our allies and how the world outside societal, structural and individual will force us to compromise, to cut away parts of ourselves.

These games are masterpieces.

I wish I found them earlier in my life. I want everyone able to read these words to find them now.

[multiship-brainrot]

A lil rambling about the subtle perfection of Vaggie's design

I seriously can't stop thinking about how no other characters had any questions about Vaggie or her origin especially when you consider her design.

I know there have been some major retcons to her backstory, but she still is (arguably) the most human-looking citizen in all of Hell.

Like even the most human looking of sinners like Velvette or Camilla's daughters still have flat/no noses, horns, more prominent & sharper fangs/teeth, but Vaggie?? Nah, none of that. She's even a standard human height with most demons being way above or below average human height, except for lower ranking demons like succubus, imps or hellhounds. The other exception to this rule? Lucifer; the only other fallen angel that we know of.

I also feel like this really recontextualizes this line from Husk in episode 4:

As a former gambling overload, reading people would be a necessary skill for Husk, especially if he is only given a matter of one game to get to understand them. Luckily for him, sinner forms have a connection to the kind of lives they had on earth.

Seeing Vaggie's form, and her lack of more traditionally demonic features that most other demons have, it would have been safe to say that he assumed all she got was a palette swap & an eyepatch of all things because her opinion of herself was so low she already profoundly saw herself as a monster (which is technically true).

And I feel as though the deliberate choice to switch her old dress in place of a more uniform-like outfit speak volumes about her sense of self and how she feels she must have to serve someone or a greater purpose instead of existing to exist.

Just like it was mentioned in episode 3, who is she if she can't be of service? what's the point of her? And that honestly broke my heart.

Really hoping that the series will start to explore this aspect of her character and she'll be able to find out who she is outside of Charlie, it's what she deserves! Would also love to see her bond with the other members of the main cast more (especially Lucifer & Husk, call them the Alastor Hate Squad or the Wings Club or idk they have so much potential) 💜

[brucewaynehater101]

Hello I have an idea for Tim.

What if he got those game screens pop up whenever he's doing some side missions or quests. And after that he'll get some cool and valuable stuff like: cool weapons with superpowers that are not from his world, advantages of gaining more information than the whole hero community, etc..

The Batfam probably thought that he was doing those missions because he was bored and wanted to relieve some stress, which is kinda true but whenever he does these quests he also makes a lot of allies from across the planets and helps him through it while also being part of the "Tim protector squad".

Also the screen will always congratulate him and give him some praise, plus the screen can also help Tim by upgrading his stuff or watching him from any danger and giving him a warning to be careful. Just a guy with his screen, what could go wrong? Hahah-

But. The screen can also give him some weird quest like "protect your loved one from [Redacted]" which confuses Tim but the screen doesn't have any power only providing him so who's the one controlling the screen???

Anyway these are just silly thoughts that I want to give :333

Heck yeah! I love exploring unusual/non-typical powers.

I really really want to develop this some more, so let's set up a power!

My favorite genre of games is horror. The fighting styles, gameplay, concepts, stick layouts, and all of that can be drastically different between games [at least Tim isn't stuck with game powers where he can't fight back]. Because of that, the end goal may be impossible to reach and thus changes to a new objective.

Here is an example of where this happened with Tim:

Convince Dick Grayson to become Robin Become Robin

Tim's thoughts and feelings can affect the missions he's given. He will never be given an objective he would not do (e.g. Kill Alfred). Not completing any task (side or main) can have consequences. Main ones have drastic outcomes that he can only somewhat control if he attempts them.

Upon completion, he gets points and rewards. His rewards are anything from new skills, connections, weapons, resources, etc.

His points can be used either in the "shop" or for his skill tree (Tim desperately wishes it was a "pay to play" game so he can get more points).

The shop has weapons, elixirs (one of which is Lazarus water), one use spells, maps, information/clues, outfits with effects, armor, etc.

His skill tree has three main branches: Body, Mind, and Soul.

For Body, he can enhance any of his characteristics to the upper limits of humans: eye sight, health, stamina, strength, sense of smell, etc. His points can also lower the difficulty or time needed to learn a very specific skill (ex. spending 5 points to decrease time needed to learn how to wield a pistol).

For Mind, he can hasten his thinking speed, create defenses against multiple mental attacks (including emotional manipulation and telepathy), decrease the mental energy required per tasks, decrease time spent learning languages/information, etc.

For Soul, this includes abilities to protect himself from magical/whatever interference, increase charm, increase ability to understand/read others' emotions, etc.

If he sounds OP, worry not! Tim suffers from never having enough points (he learned the hard way that he also needs to keep an amount saved up in case he suddenly needs to buy a tool or skill to save his or someone else's life.). There's so much he can buy, but there are only so many hours to complete side missions

Tim's least favorite quest was when he was chilling alone with his Zesti and suddenly got the notification:

Run

Jason's a jerk for scaring the shit out of Tim like that at TT

[hotchfiles]

❝ ['CUZ YOU'RE A NATURAL] ❞ — a in this house of mine prequel ; MDNI!

pairing: aaron hotchner x rossi!reader. summary: not having a crush on your dad's friend and co-worker should be rule number one. but what are rules when said friend is aaron hotchner? content warnings: this is suggestive at best. foul language? still let's go with MDNI! age-gap flirting. word count: 1k. a/n: might do a pt.2, i just needed to get this out of my brain.

He’s just pretending not to notice it at this point, which isn’t easy coming from a person who notices everything. Coming from the man who helped build the unit that literally analyzes people for a living. 

Granted he wasn’t the most present of fathers and he wasn’t even sure if your mother was his second or third ex-wife anymore, but he knew human behavior, and human behavior clearly showed there was no reason for you to be there, “Kid, I’m sure you hate sports of any kind.” David comments, observing as you make sure Jack’s shoes are tight and won’t get in his way. 

“Well dear father, actually, I was a cheerleader for my last three high school years. And the first two college ones.” He knows that, and you know he knows it, but your best way out of the mess you were purposefully getting into right now was to appeal to the guilt you knew he still had from not being around much. “Base of the pyramid, very important, sporty, love sports.” You noticed you were going on for too long and shut your yapper.

Lucky for you Aaron didn’t seem to mind the two of you discussing, busy watching his baby boy with the most sweetest look on his face, he looks ethereal, his smile the most enchanting you’ve ever seen. 

You can feel your father’s glance going from you to Aaron slowly, he’s observing, analyzing but trying hard to ignore the signs. The signs that you weren’t there for some dad and daughter bonding.

Unless the dad in question was Hotchner.

The sole reason you had put yourself in short rounded skirt, sports short underneath, gym sneakers and shirt, and an old baseball cap to make it look like it wasn't so out of the norm for you to be at an event like that. It was. Your dad was right, you didn't like sports, you liked cheer squad and the parties and the players, not the game. But you had your eyes set on the coach today which is why you were there instead of working on your masters' assignments.

You couldn't even pretend to know what was going on, if it was football you had some experience from watching and hearing past flings talk about it, but soccer? You could only cheer for Jack and bicker with the soccer moms around as they talked about how much better their children were.

"Hey, lady if your son gets that close to Jack again I'm gonna jump him." You point your finger at one of them, decorum almost goes to hell as she begins walking in your direction, Rossi stepping in the way to apologize for your behavior.

Oh. You can't just threaten to hurt kids. That's not okay. "Sorry, just used to fighting with guys' girlfriends to defend my team. Cheer squad reflex memory." You say lowly directly to Aaron, not even bothering to apologize to your father. Your cheeks tomato red, a combination from the embarrassment and the sun that was making everyone sweat.

"It's fine, she has to teach her son fair play anyway, he's not gonna go far like that." His expression doesn't show even one single sign of being mad at you, you notice it, Rossi notices it. Aaron's actually smiling, completely amused by the situation.

It was nice to have someone sticking up for his boy like that.

And to have someone look at him with those eyes. Not the aw you're such a good dad eyes most mothers gave him when he's around for matches. Nope. The please fuck me eyes you always shot at him even if your father was around. For the sake of his loyalty to Rossi he pretended not to see it, as he knew Rossi did too. He hoped David didn't notice the eyes he himself gave you though, or that if he did, he was kind enough to ignore it, Aaron would never act on it. Never. He was twice your age if not more even if he weren't friends with David.

Still, he enjoyed the touches, the stolen glances, the way you wore your short dresses and skirts around him, the way you showed you cared above the desire for the unobtainable. How you sent him cute videos with show Jack as a caption, how you remembered to bring a towel not for yourself, but to pat his face dry, delicate as ever.

"People will think you were the one playing sweating like this." You go through his face and his neck with it, handing him a water bottle after. You brought those yourself too, you wanted to be useful.

Before he can hold it back, a smirk deliciously mischievous takes grip of his lips, "What can I say dear, I tend to sweat a bit when I'm doing any type of exercise." You're not sure if you wished you hadn't caught the innuendo of his reply, as you were now fighting hard not to squirm in front of him. Oh you wanted nothing more than to be the one making him sweat.

"Good thing your bedroom has an A.C then." You say almost mindlessly, panicking just a tad when you grasped the idea that maybe remembering that so easily wasn't the most normal thing to do. Did you just sound obsessive? Stalkerish? You think not when he chuckles, nodding in agreement.

You both just look at each other for a minute, breathing patterns completely irregular, being interrupted only by your father loudly coughing from some steps away from you both, tired of having to deal with the obvious tension between his daughter and his co-worker, his friend! Rossi doesn't say anything else though. And neither does Aaron or you, deciding to just go back to paying attention to the match.

But Hotch had just got you an in. If he hadn't flirted back you might just keep it as a crush, but now?

Now you needed him.

[ay0nha]

Lament of My Heart | Joel Miller

SUMMARY: “Tommy…”  Joel let out a breath of frustrated laughter. He disappointingly shook his head, leaning over you, “That boy doesn’t know what he’s lost.”

Set pre-episode four & post-episode five w/ moments of pre-outbreak

PAIRING: Joel Miller x femme!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

WARNINGS: SMUT (hand job), mentions of blood, mutual pining/slow burnish, skinny dipping (of sorts), canon-typical things, mentions of Tommy x reader, etc.

A/N: Need to post this before it sits in the drafts to collect dust. Joel is just on my mind all the time, so this is the product of that. Thank you as always @from-the-clouds​ for listening to my blabbering and entertaining all my ideas! Much love.

“No more questions, Ellie,” You reprimanded her lightly, trying to cover the warmth she was discovering you felt. “Get some rest.”

Ellie was a hard-headed person with the responsibility of society on her shoulders. She carried the weight well, but she was still human, still young. But her questions revealed her growing creativity and sharp wit.

“Not tired.” She hated Joel’s coffee, but the stolen sips still coursed through her veins. You knew it was partly due to the anxiety ahead of them. They all felt it, that tense air of the unknown. “You two don’t seem to get along, though.”

Your eyes flashed to the rear view mirror on instinct. Settled on the truck’s dirty cushions and the supplies being used as a pillow, Joel was asleep. But you weren’t sure how long it would last.

“Ellie-

“It wasn’t a question!” She defended quickly, toying with the edge of her sleeve. She’d been dying to know just exactly why you got under Joel’s skin the way you did. “Tell me about Tommy, at least.”

“Ask Joel.” Your eyes were everywhere. You checked the mirror as if there was traffic, but it was the only thing that kept you occupied. She was making you squirm.

“C’mon, you know he won’t-” Ellie’s own frustrations were building up. In her shoes, you’d be just as curious. “Please.”

Through a thoughtful sigh, you resigned, “Before-We just- We’ve known each other for a long time.” You’d been intertwined with the Miller brothers since before everything. You rarely said it aloud, and now, you struggled to put all the history into something coherent. “I met Tommy when he returned from deployment-

“In Texas?” Ellie hung onto every word, mind spinning tales faster than you could keep up with. “Were you in the military too?”

“I said no questions.”

The comment made her smile. Ellie always appreciated a good game. Loopholes were her specialty.

“Fine, then.” She settled in the passenger seat, knees to her chest as she faced you, “You were discharged with Tommy with more medals than you could count!” Her posture then changed with inventive excitement, “Or maybe a bad-ass sniper with too many confirmed kills to count.” You wished your life was as exciting as she made it sound. “You’re going to have to stop me before I start thinking you led an elite hit squad.”

“Close.” You quipped, “I worked on the military base in town.” It was the first job that hired you and offered some stability for someone your age. “I’d help get soldiers back on their feet once they returned…”

“Then you became friends with Tommy,” Ellie encouraged you to continue. She couldn’t stand the lulls.

Too many years passed for you to remember clearly how you became close to Tommy, but at the time, he considered you his soulmate. Not that either of you really knew what that meant.

“Then I became friends with Tommy.” You nodded. You kept your eyes steady ahead, adding, “Joel, too.” Glancing at Ellie, you finished,  “Then we all just…stuck together.”

Separation wasn’t ever questioned, even on the eve of all the destruction. That memory was vivid; the way your bloodied body held onto Joel, dragging him away from it all, Tommy trailing behind, surveilling every move. It was how you moved together for years, protecting each other as much as possible.  

“He doesn’t talk about it; before,” Ellie commented lowly. You knew she wished for more from Joel. But she couldn’t see what you saw in the way he softened for her.

“That hasn’t changed with time.” Your words felt too bitter. This time you indulged in a glance at Joel. Still settled. “I’m surprised he’s even talking to me now.”

You always described the Miller brothers as a whirlwind. They may not have necessarily meant it, but they had a knack for sweeping you up and consuming you. When Joel came to you with Ellie, there was no question of whether you would help or not, just when and where you were needed.

He’d never leave without you.

“Tell me something about them...” Ellie pleaded. She was a clever girl who picked up on the weight of his misery. But it wasn’t yours to share. “Before they…before this.”

Your shoulders relaxed while your hands moved to the bottom of the steering wheel as you allowed yourself to filter through only the fond memories.

“Alright, well…” You hesitated with your words. Only because you knew, Joel would tell the story differently. “He and Tommy were wasted…I mean…Absolutely hammered that night.”

Your words had their desired effect, and Ellie’s giggles encouraged you to continue. But it felt strange to make Joel’s drinking habits sound so lighthearted when you know how the habit haunted him now.

“Tommy called me.” The phone in Joel’s kitchen woke you up that night well past the witching hour. “The brothers always got into all kinds of mischief, usually Tommy's fault.” You were typically by his side, provoking him. “Always Tommy’s fault.”

“He sounds fun.” Ellie joined in. You knew in another world, the two would get up to all kinds of mischief if they had the chance.

“He can be, when he wants.” You glanced at the map on your lap. With the sun getting low, it meant you needed to find a safe place to stop soon. “That night, though, the two of them had the bright idea to pretend to be bouncers, only to get into a fight with the actual ones.”

“I knew Joel wasn’t a total hard-ass.”

As you continued to retell the story, you hadn’t realized how much nostalgia you carried with you. Nor were you able to see how you talked so warmly of Joel. Ellie knew exactly what to say to get the information she wanted. But you waited a long time to reminisce freely.

“...When I finally got them home,” You blew a raspberry at the unforgettable effort it took. The stench of alcohol and smoke still made your nose scrunch. “Thank god Tommy had enough sense left to make it to the couch.”

Ellie loved how you teased Joel’s hiccuping that he blamed it on being over-served tequila. It was hard even to imagine he had any of that humor left in him. You embellished the story just enough to entertain yourself. But the story's core provided fertile ground for understanding that nothing you added was too far-fetched.

“They remembered nothing the next morning,” You said. “Tommy found all these numbers written on his arm, said he’d close his eyes and pick which to call.”

“....And Joel, he must have been so hungover…”

“You’d think…” You reflected flatly.  “He just got up and went to work.”

From your side, you knew Ellie could sense you holding back.  She’d gotten more than she asked for, so she left it. She could see how the echo of that night still felt fresh, doubting you provided her with the detailed ending you lived.

----

“You alright?” The question was slowly processed by Joel, who was trying to steady his breathing before the contents of his stomach came up.

“Yeah, yeah…” Joel held onto you every step, arm slung over your shoulders, making you sway with him with each step to his room.

He was mumbling while you settled him on the edge of his bed. You got every few words while focusing on preparing him for the next day. The brothers had work, and doing this would save you the headache of hearing their complaints.

“B-been thinkin’...” His Texan drawl was heightened as he slurred.

“That so?” You half-heartedly replied, rummaging through his medicine cabinet. You looked for something for the morning.

“Mhmm…”

You could hear him shuffling around in his room. Assuming he’d been pulling his boots off and discarding his jacket, you were surprised to find him leaning on the bathroom’s door frame.

“Then you’ve been hanging around Tommy too much.”

“Tommy…” Joel let out a breath of frustrated laughter. He disappointingly shook his head, leaning over you, “That boy doesn’t know what he’s lost.”

You still held love for Tommy, but you had mistaken it for something that it wasn’t. The two of you functioned better as friends; you were his confidant and partner in crime. Neither of you would change that for the world.

“And you do?”

Your relationship with Joel had a natural ebb and flow that could be but never got to the point of being volatile. But that didn't stop you from stepping on each other's toes, constantly being on the brink of an argument that neither of you knew the point of.

“Darlin’...” You melted his resolve, helping him the way you were. Joel’s eyes flickered down. Nothing about your outfit was seductive, but the way his eyes loitered told you maybe it had been. Covering his tracks seamlessly, Joel continued, “...The things you deserve.”

Your laugh bounced off the bathroom walls, resonating deep within Joel’s chest.

"What?" Joel asked lightly, his smile starting to mirror yours, but not understanding why, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

“Shit, Joel,” Your laughter lingered, “You must be really drunk.”

“C’mon now.” He tried to stop you. He wasn’t sure he could handle any level of ridicule from you.  

But you pushed passed him, drawing his sheets back for the night to be over, “Let’s just get you to bed.”

He stumbled to you willingly, but you could see his mind turning. There was something he wanted off his chest, but you knew you weren’t ready to hear it.

“Come on now, Miller,” You tried again. “We’ve both got work in the morning.”

“What is it you do again?” Joel’s words played with chords of tension. “Besides eat all my food and sleep on my couch.”

"Get by." You joked more for your sake than his.

Joel’s eyes shifted between your own, pupils entirely dilated.  Blaming it on the alcohol helped settle your stomach.

“I know y-you don’t stick around for my benefit.”

"God forbid we enjoy each other's company, Joel." Your eyes burned into his. You enjoyed your ability to make him bashful in his stupor. Just a look, and he was crumbling.

You saw it coming. You could have stopped it, but it wasn’t even the length of a decent kiss. It was soft and fleeting because you pulled back to never speak of it again. You doubted Joel remembered, but you could never be sure what he’d admit to.

----

“Did you ever-

“Ellie…” You said her name slowly in warning.

She retracted fast, “Joel and you-

“No.”

Your answer came off harshly. You knew where she wanted to go; she’d circled the topic for hours.

“Can I ask one question?”

“That was a question.” You looked at her again pointedly, “Shoot.”

“Why’d you stay in Boston?”

Sitting with the statement, you focused on the road. Most around you was barren and destroyed but offered an unconventional peacefulness. Sometimes you imagined if you’d be better off in isolation than in a QZ. But you could never bring yourself to just disappear like that.

“As hard as you might try,” You started, pulling the car to the side, “You can’t be alone in this world. With a purpose or not, it just doesn’t work.”

The sudden sway of the car disturbed the sleeping figure in the back. Joel attempted to hide his jolt as he sat up but was already looking out the window for trouble.

“We stoppin’?” Joel’s voice filled the car while the engine cooled.

Joel looked to you for reassurance. Ellie pointed that out to you, the way he valued you despite his resentment.

“We’ve gotten far enough today.” You tossed the keys back to him. “We need food and rest.”

“Alright.”

Your exchanges were clipped.

Yet, you valued the journey with Ellie. Selfishly, the task provided a reason to see Joel again. It had become easier to spend time apart. It became a habit. But even with a quiet meal shared and conversations led by Ellie, it felt good to be with him again.

The pressure shifted. No longer were ration cards on your mind, nor were the curfews you struggled to follow. Something about the night felt freeing despite the heavy responsibility that it meant. Maybe it was the privilege of feeling safe with Joel since he created a protective bubble, sacrificing his rest for yours.

You heard Joel get up when he thought yours and Ellie’s breathing steadied. You were going to leave it, but sleep was hard to come by with your mind racing.

Joel saw your shadow first. But the hand that brushed between his shoulder blades still made him flinch. He spoke in hushed tones, looking to ensure that Ellie was still asleep, “I hope you didn’t come over here to tell me we’re safe.”

“Didn’t say that.”  You frowned. He knew you well; you wore your concerns on your face. You just wished he didn’t hold such defiance for them.  “But we’ll be alright for the night-

“Don’t.”

Joel wanted to be in control of everything down to the smallest detail.

You knew it was a way of coping, his way, but it never sat right with you. Especially now, as you watched Joel scrutinize the area you chose, you could feel the criticism he was holding back from the moment you parked the car.

Did you even survey the terrain?

Too much open space. No clear route out.

You know better than this.  

“We’re the perfect targets.”

“Joel-

“We know how this works,” He voiced over you. Even with you there, his surveillance didn’t change as he remained on a swivel.  “It was exactly what we did.”

Joel’s emotions were catching up, but he still held onto a forced restraint. He was expecting resistance, an argument from you. But you heard what he said, how Ellie needed to hear it, to believe him.

No one’s gonna find us.

It was a promise. Something Joel was determined to control.

The wind was picking up the later the night became, and any rustle was faced with a gun barrel.  It caused chills to litter your arms out of apprehension. You tried to comfort yourself with your arms tucked to your chest, but it only shifted Joel’s attention.

If you tried hard enough, you could guess what he would say to you. We need to stay sharp. You could feel Joel’s hesitation, though. It happened every time he pushed you away.

There was merit to your diversion, but Joel only allowed it for so long.

“Get some rest.” He nodded toward his forgotten sleeping bag, “No good if both of us are tired.”

----

The car was gone. The brief companions too. Your heart felt permanently caught in your throat. Adrenaline replaced everything. But it was wearing you thin.

“Where are you going?” Respite clung to Joel’s question as his eyes followed your figure up from his crouched position.

Like a cat, you stretched until something deep within your spine popped. You moved towards the shore of the small body of water you all settled by.

Time was at the forefront of Joel’s mind. Time was no longer on your side, meaning the sooner, the better pressured every minute. Daylight became the most valuable thing. And by the looks of it, you were on your way to wasting it.

“We smell, Joel.” You state as you discard the knife strapped around your waist. You were meant to be cleaning them in the water, preparing them for the next fight the way he had.

But your body was sore. You could imagine the pain Joel felt was much worse, physical or not. He put his body first rather than having you or Ellie be the brunt of it all.

Mornings were sacred to you. It was when the birds sang at dawn because the crisp, moist air carried their songs and their meanings farther through the same air that filled your lungs in fluid refreshment.

 You pulled your shirt over your head and looped your thumbs in the waistband of your pants as you wiggled them over your thighs and down your legs.

For the moment, Joel’s eyes lingered. He looked for bites. He knew he wouldn’t find anything, but he had to be sure. Instead, Joel found deep hues of bruises still healing from Kansas City.

Almost wholly above the horizon, the sun highlighted the mist rising off the body of water. It veiled your body the closer you were to where the water and the rocks met. Yet, Joel watched on until your arms maneuvered behind your back, searching for the clasp of your bra.

As if the sun was directly in his eyes, Joel looked up, avoiding seeing something that wasn’t meant for him. Except, it didn’t stop him from passing along a warning, “Don’t go out far.”

The dirt from the past days felt like a second layer of skin had embedded into your own, suffocating you. You finally waded into the freezing water to rid yourself of it.

But not before throwing a comment over your shoulder, “Join me, then.”

Your words were like an idle threat that was only met with silence. You knew he was contemplating the offer. Always thinking.

The water was cold, goosebumps littering your skin within minutes and creating peaks where Joel refused to look. He scolded himself for the way his cock twitched at just the idea.

You leaned back so you were nearly floating on your back. Above, a bird glided hypnotically in a wide circle.  It seemed you weren’t the only one seeking to rid yourself of a sense of weariness. The cool water swallowed you whole, caressing your skin and relaxing your muscles.

“Someone’s gotta stay with Ellie.” Joel voiced his decision. It was an excuse, what he was supposed to say.

There was no point in fighting it. Instead, you submerged yourself completely; the water consumed you. The longer you stayed under, the closer Joel edged to the water, ensuring you’d come up for a breath.

When you finally reemerged, you held a wicked grin.

“Don’t do that.” Joel frowned at your teasing. His eyes remained downcast, avoiding your eye. The rocks seemed more fascinating than how you became more siren-like by the minute.  “I’m gonna find Ellie.”

“She deserves some privacy.” Despite her continuous puns, you were receptive to the fact that she was still impacted.

You all were.

Hyper vigilance became the enemy that threatened to consume Joel whole. Sleep was no longer negotiable. Every movement dragged worry, invited agitation, and controlled his violence. Joel’s chest was tight, and breathing felt hard to come by. He was moments away from unraveling.

“...There won’t be another invitation, Joel.”

Joel’s loaded gaze burned right through you as he took off his clothes. While he was busy shrugging out of his shirt, you took the opportunity to tread out further. Your back was to him, but you heard the swishing of disturbed water.

You reveled in the way your skin burned for him. He’d seen you naked years ago. But not like this, never like this.

----

Joel’s eyes followed the curve of your body. Your chest swayed as you moved around freely. His pounding heart clocked how too much time had passed for him to sneak out. He was frozen.

“You’re not Tommy.” You let out a breath of relief despite your surprise.

The lace rode high on your hips, accentuating your natural curve. Your chest was perked at the sudden attention of being caught so bare.   Regardless of the incessant ringing in your ears, you stayed stone still, giving him a chance to say something.

Yet, he shook his head, backing out the door he’d come through, mumbling expected apologies.  Joel used the key under the fern and let himself in.

For days he’d been asking Tommy for his tools back. And now, they were forgotten with each hurried step.

You threw on the closest shirt, chasing after him. “Wait!”

“I didn’t mean to-

“Joel, let me explain-

“No, I shouldn’t have-I-I’ll just-”

You found a way to stand before him, blocking his escape route perfectly. “Let’s just slow down…” Your hands were up in defense, mirroring his own. “It’s not what you think.”

Of all people, you wanted Joel to hear you. But the silence was heavy and lacked a proper explanation. You could see the flush that took over his coloring. It was sweet in a way, but you were too mortified to know what to make of it. It wasn’t exactly taught how to handle these sorts of things in school, so you stalled.

“Can I make you some coffee?” An invitation to linger.

Joel looked at you and saw your bare feet moving toward him with hope. He hadn’t meant to, but his eyes scanned your bare legs; the picture of the intricate fabric underneath the oversized shirt made his skin prick. It took him a moment to realize the shirt was his, one Tommy most likely nicked under his nose.

Doubting you knew what that did to him, Joel shook his head, “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“One cup.” You promised.

The air was tense when you made it to the kitchen. You insisted on a fresh pot, but the drops felt like they took ages to fill it enough for its purpose. The hem of the shirt skirted the boundary of indecency, but you thought nothing of it. Your focus was on the longing stare Joel was giving you.

“Tommy and I…” You started with a shaky breath. You were sure Joel knew all about the drifting relationship. “I thought maybe this would…” It felt strange explaining yourself the way you had. But you wanted it to be known that even to you, it felt out of character. “He doesn’t look at me the same anymore…”

Your words feigned a sense of yearning. But neither you nor Tommy could keep up the act. Your words seemed heavy, but it was so alleviating to say aloud. To be listened to.

But the smell of coffee pulled you back, reminding you to be a good host. Filling the mugs just below the brim, you broke the small barrier of the kitchen island. You held the mug close to your chest, the warmth working as emotional support while Joel toyed with the ceramic handle.

You lifted the mug to your lips, blowing lightly over the piping-hot coffee, “...But neither do I.”

“I can talk to Tommy if you…” No matter how much it made Joel regret the offer, Joel said the right thing. He couldn’t meddle where he didn’t belong. “I’m sure he’d understand.”

You laughed into your mug. “I’d rather this stay our thing.”

“You say that like this is going to happen again.”

“Joel Miller.” You said his name after a pause. He looked like a child in trouble. “Are you flirting with me?”

“No, no, I-

“Joking.” You cut in just as awkwardly as he flushed.

You wanted the mood to lighten, needed it to.

But there was clumsiness in every movement, between your ongoing jitteriness and Joel’s restless fidgeting.  So, you moved to the window. On the sill held your half-empty carton of cigarettes, the ones you were trying hard not to touch these days.

With a soft glance back to Joel, you asked, “Mind if I?”

Joel could spot the influences of Tommy in you. Or maybe you had passed along your habits. Either way, it was your home of sorts. Who was he to tell you no?

You had such dexterity with the process. It was like a ritual how you rolled the cigarette over your lips before lighting it. Then after a deep exhale, you utilized the perpetually open window to tap the beginnings of ash.  

“I don’t mean to drag you into all of this…”  You trailed off through an exhale of smoke through your nose. Joel could see the appeal now. “I just don’t-…Tommy’s my friend, and if I…I don’t know what’ll happen if we’re not…”

The end of something always hurt everyone around you. You all were just playing your roles in delaying the inescapable. But the questions of the future haunted you. You weren’t sure if you were ready to let it all go.

“I’ll let you leave…” You toyed with the lit cigarette that was on its last limb as you spoke. Joel’s silence was becoming deafening. “Promise I won’t hold you up any longer.”

You were sure he had more pressing matters than to comfort you through an inevitable breakup.

“Tommy’ll get over it.” Joel sat back with more relaxation now that he spoke his mind. “It’s you I’m worried about.”

----

Joel kept his distance deliberately. He made the venture into the water seem like another task. In and out.

“I don’t bite, you know.”

He knew you wouldn’t be able to stay quiet for too long. He knew what it meant to join you, but he made an effort to seem detached.

“Just giving you some privacy.” Joel echoed your words.

“Right.”  Your frustration was clear. You carried it with you for the handful of days that passed. Your frustrations didn’t lie with him like Joel chose to believe.

Instead, guilt filled Joel’s chest. It had been gnawing at him since he left Boston. He should have left you there if he were as reliable as everyone claimed he was. You’d be without bruises. You’d be without his burden. Leaving without you meant there would be no return.

But you knew Joel. You had to remind yourself.  You knew what he was thinking, what he wanted. That’s how you knew moving towards him would benefit the both of you.

You moved gradually, leading the interaction by brushing his hair behind his ears. The greys of his hair darkened with the water you carried on your fingertips.  He looked younger. He looked like your Joel.

You reached for him, pulling him through the cool water to you. Joel was stiff when your chest met his warmly. He thought of pulling away, but you felt so peaceful that it swallowed him. Your arms wrapped around him with comfort. Your body settled in front of his, gently pressing your hips against him, giving him only an ounce of pressure to entice him.

He noted every twitch. Shyness wasn’t questioned; that barrier was broken years ago. It enabled you to trace his face. Every detail was already committed to memory.

You imagined what he’d say to you all those years ago—anything to make a smile crack.

Careful, now.

All you’re gonna find is a whole lot of ugly.

The scar above his eyebrow marked when your feelings for Joel first latched on. You were blinded by anger then, but the blood scared you. He promised you it was a graze and that he still had his life. But that wasn’t enough proof for you.

When your thumb traced over the faint line, Joel finally found his voice again, “Your shooting’s still sloppy.”

The look Joel held was intimidating, scrutinizing, but you knew he was trying to be witty.  

“See now, when you say things like that…” You whispered softly due to the proximity, “I don’t regret shooting you.”

He hummed, appreciating your touch that ventured to his shoulders. You could feel under your hands the tension he held. You wanted nothing more than to provide relief.

“Joel.”

Just his name made your desire clear. He wanted to touch you all those years ago, but he’d never betray his brother like that. But now you invited him to you without any barriers. There was hesitancy in the hold Joel found on your hips. His mind wandered; wavered between the need and the want.

Starting at the swirl of hair on his chest, you followed the trail down until Joel’s breath hitched. Joel felt like he was about to lose it when your hand wrapped around him.

“This feel okay?” You moved your hand against him, slow and soft.

Water dripped from his nose to your shoulder as he nodded eagerly.  His groan rumbled deep in his chest, vibrating against your own. You tread in dangerous territory but recognized the privilege of his trust.

This was for Joel. You needed this just as much as he did. You didn’t worry if it functioned as a thank you for keeping you alive, an apology for the trouble you’d caused him, or a confession of your own.

It didn’t matter when you indulged in your own lust.

“Do you think of me when you’re on your own?” You asked, fingers wrapped around his shaft, squeezing him until you felt his pulse in your grip.

“Oh- Fuck-” He cut himself off before he let a pet name slip. Joel’s fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips, imprinting his touch into your skin, burned to your very bone.

“Hmm?” You edged him further. Gently, you continued to pump him and move your thumb over his tip.

Joel’s ragged breath fell on your pulse point with each moan as you continued to pump him rhythmically. His hand came up to your throat in a tender hold. His lips hover over yours but refrained from connecting.

It would be too intimate if you had.

“Do you want me to?” The hold gave him dominance even as he shuddered under your touch. Always desiring control.

The water around you rippled with your continued movements. With his free hand, his thumb rubbed gently at the sensitive skin that was near the pebbles of your breast, but he made no effort to touch it just yet.  His words and touch were a deadly combination, the kind that made you ache.

“Would that be so bad?” You spoke on his lips, feeling the tickle of his mustache. The more you worked on his release the more you felt his warm pants turn into deep moans. “Come on now, Miller,” You coaxed softly, moving up and down his length with a lively pattern, teasingly and tauntingly. “Tell me.”

Joel’s words were caught in his throat as ecstasy flowed through his veins as the pleasure crashed. His hips jerked against you as his breathing became ragged and his moans became filthy.

He sighed with relief, abandoning himself. He groaned into you, nuzzling his nose in your neck as the aftershocks made him tremble. He could feel your hand threading in his hair, keeping him in your tight embrace.

“Yes.”

[aus-wnt]

Matildas star Steph Catley was at a training camp for club side Arsenal when a nutritionist blurted out the news: Sam Kerr had ruptured her ACL while at a Chelsea training camp in Morocco.

“I literally felt like someone had stabbed me in the stomach,” Catley said.

“My stomach fell. I just felt really emotional really quickly just because I felt really removed from it and I couldn’t go and see her and I couldn’t speak to her in that moment.”

Women’s soccer is booming. Before her injury, Kerr, the Matildas captain, and Catley, the vice captain, were part of an Australian side that captured the nation’s attention in the Women’s World Cup in 2023. The Arsenal defender then flew back to London where she played in front of record crowds in the Women’s Super League, including 59,042 at the Emirates Stadium against Kerr’s Chelsea in December.

But that boom is hiding a serious issue.

As a female athlete, Catley is no stranger to serious injuries among her peers. As well as Kerr’s injury, Holly McNamara was called up for the Matildas last year but did her ACL. At Arsenal alone, four stars suffered ACL injuries in the space of just six months: Lionesses captain Leah Williamson, WSL’s record goalscorer Vivianne Miedema, European Championship Golden Boot winner Beth Mead and Austrian international Laura Wienroither.

Catley says the foundations of women’s soccer are not developing fast enough to keep pace with the product.

“Obviously it’s what we absolutely love doing, but I think now that the game is at a point where the standard is so, so high and the games are so challenging and physically demanding [that] a lot of teams and a lot of clubs don’t have facilities and don’t have the right calibre of staff that can keep players healthy and strong,” she said.

“They don’t have the facilities to cater for the amount of demand and the pressures that are on the women’s game now.”

On the eve of Williamson’s return to the playing squad late last month, the 26-year-old defender said the current calendar and demands on female footballers were unsustainable.

“We’re not bred for this. We get to October and girls are saying ‘I’m tired’ because you’re carrying so much from the previous season,” Williamson told UK’s The Telegraph.

“We are driving ourselves into the ground, so some sort of solution needs to be found soon, in terms of the schedule, otherwise it’s not sustainable.”

ACL ruptures disproportionately affect female athletes at a rate 3-6 times greater than their male counterparts.

Research into ACL injury prevention and causation is ongoing and newer reports suggest an intersection of risk factors of intrinsic (anatomy, physiology, biomechanics and hormones) and extrinsic factors (training, conditioning, preparation, facilities and resources).

While Catley was hesitant to speak on the causation of ACL ruptures as she was not an injury expert, she said there was no room to properly switch off mentally or physically on the merry-go-round of the calendar year, putting a lot of strain on the resources available.

“I don’t know if A, B and C leads to this. But yeah, it does logically make sense that if there’s that much demand and not enough support and not enough foundations underneath that people break down mentally, physically, in every way possible,” said Catley.

“I think that’s human and that’s the way bodies work.”

Some English clubs can play as many as three games a week during the height of the season when the WSL, Champions League, FA Cup and League Cup calendars are running concurrently. The additional travel, plus the demands of national camps and tournaments, can further complicate schedules. Major tournaments occur in most WSL off-seasons, including a rotation of Olympics, World Cup and regional championships such as the Asian Cup, meaning most players will get one off-season free every four years.

When Matildas defender Ellie Carpenter ruptured her ACL just over a year out from the World Cup during Lyon’s Women’s Champions League final win over Barcelona, she referred to it months later as a “blessing in disguise”.

“I really needed this break. I was very fatigued, I’ve played a lot – a lot – of football in the last year and a half. I was just on the verge of [being] burnt out, really,” she told Forbes last March.

“The injury came, and, obviously, it was disappointing but at the same time, it was the perfect time for me to reset, get stronger, have a rest, have an off-season that I never really have had.”

In Kerr’s absence, Catley will captain the Matildas for the final Olympic qualifiers in Melbourne on February 24 and 28 against Uzbekistan and, if they progress, again at the Olympics in July. Catley did the same in Kerr’s absence for the first half of the World Cup.

Catley said as a kid, she never thought captaining a women’s team at the Olympics would even be possible. But now it is, it’s a “pinch me” moment.

“To be honest, even having that honour at the World Cup was extremely special and something that I’ll remember for the rest of my life, and cherish for the rest of my life, because it’s stuff that you dream of, really.”

But before she flies to Melbourne, for a 48-hour stop to play the first qualifier, she is deep in the thick of an Arsenal campaign for the title.

The club is looking almost back to full strength after regaining Mead, Miedema and Williamson this season, and sit third on the table, below Chelsea and Manchester City.

Catley said the title race was heating up. And while in the past seasons her side has struggled in those bigger games, this year they’ve done well against top opponents – but let others slip that they’d usually win. This is best summed up by their 4-1 win over Chelsea in December and then a 1-0 loss to Tottenham the following week. On Sunday, they lost to relegation-threatened West Ham.

“You’ve got some incredible teams that are also in form and if anyone drops points at any point, it’s like sharks,” said Catley.

“It’s just so, so close.”

[skellymom]

Hey Skelly

You're taking requests? Oh I'd love to ask for one.

Could you please do a one-shot involving a reader and Hunter after Omega gets seriously injured on a mission (Bad enough to wind up in a Bacta Pod) and the reader has to comfort and reassure Hunter that Omega will be OK?

tysm, GenericFicer Hugs

@genericficerblog NICE! Another ASK!!! Thank you!

"THE INCIDENT"

The Bad Batch Hunter x Reader One Shot

Per more information (not included on this particular message):

So the reader is a male battle medic. It's all platonic The reader was a medic on Kamino. He had taken care of Omega after particularly bad tests (She has the scars to prove it) and he's protective of Omega because of her past with the Kaminoans

Word Count: 2.1K

Warning: Star Wars canon violence, angst, swearing, explosion, physical injuries, coma, mention of human experimentation by the Kaminoans.

I was tasked to hang back with Omega and Tech on board the Marauder. Hunter EXPRESSLY ordered us to stay put. His thinking was to only bring the members necessary for the job: Hunter at the head of the group, Echo next to him and to share logistics on comm with Tech, Wrecker as the “heavy”, and Crosshair as lookout/cover fire. 

The job was technically low risk...but Hunter started having those “feelings” of his just before landing at our target.  

Omega protested when he told her to stay on the ship. She had been looking forward to going on a mission for awhile. Many a time she stayed behind on Pabu with Shep and Lyana. Since her rescue from Tantiss, Hunter was dead set against her going on any dangerous missions. 

Hunter’s words were “You’ll have plenty of time to fight with the Rebellion in the future. Won’t stay young forever.” 

She bristled at those words. Then forgave him immediately after. 

They LOVE each other so much! 

But ever the doting dad, Hunter relented this time. She had eventually wore him down. 

Oh...getting ahead of myself...who am I? 

Hello. I’m Y/N. The Squad Formerly Known as Clone Force 99’s Medic/Backup Heavy/Or Whatever They Need Me For. I can patch up just about ANYTHING with the bare minimum of supplies. Sometimes my methods are unorthodox, per Tech’s opinion, but effective.  It’s saved our butts a few times. So, they let me come along on every mission. 

Plus, having known and taken care of Omega while on Kamino helped. 

And the fact that Crosshair took a liking to me immediately sealed the deal. We both speak fluent sarcasm. 

But...back to the mission... 

“What’s taking SO LONG?” Omega fidgeted in her seat. 

“My guess it is due to Hunter detecting an anomaly, they are taking their time.”  

Tech and I were attempting to play a few rounds of Sebacc. I’m HORRIBLE at it. He thinks he can help me improve my game. I’m struggling currently. 

“Safety first. No need to rush into trouble...especially since we seem to find it easily enough.” I threw down my cards. 

Tech glanced at them and frowned.  

“I totally messed up that hand too, huh?” 

“Well, it’s not a strategy I would have used...” Tech trailed off. 

“You’re being too nice.” 

“Shall I explain in detail the best plan of action for this hand?” 

“Can’t stop you. Just infodump me anyways. Maybe I’ll retain SOMETHING this time.” I LOVE to tease Tech. It was difficult in the beginning. Most of it just went over his head. 

This time, he just grinned at my cheekiness and launched into it. 

Omega continued to fidget in her seat behind us. 

“...and THAT is why you should have held onto those cards until the end.” Tech finally finished his tutorial. 

“I... THINK I got all that? My brain hurts now. How ‘bout I switch with Omega.” 

“That will be sufficient.” Tech looks up and glances behind me. 

Then his face froze. 

I quickly swung around to see Omega missing from her seat. 

“OMEGA???” I called through the ship.  

Nothing. 

“Oh SHIT!” 

“INDEED!” Tech immediately radioed Hunter that Omega slipped out of the Marauder and is probably enroute to them. 

I grabbed my med pack and ran out of the Marauder before he could stop me. 

Omega used to sneak away A LOT on our previous missions. Probably one of many reasons why he wanted to keep her back on Pabu until she matured a bit more. Of course, he feels guilty...the Kaminoan’s keeping her locked up in their home world. He didn’t want to clip her wings.  

“TOLD YOU to stay on the ship!” Hunter’s voice fills my ear comm. 

“I can’t just assume that Omega finds you somehow and is safe.” 

“Don’t need ANOTHER person in danger. Go back to the ship.” 

“Well...is Omega with you?” 

“...no.” 

“She SHOULD have been by now...AND I’m NOT going back.” 

Hunter’s tired sigh. “Well, then... 

He never finished his sentence. 

A flash of intense light... 

I awoke thirty feet away from where I was standing. On my back. 

My head hurts...all I can hear is high pitched whine in both ears. 

Sit up dazed and look around at EVERYTHING obliterated and on fire. 

Torn remains of whatever was left of the trees and outbuilding I was near... 

...two small legs sticking out from under smoldering wreckage. 

I lurch up to my feet and limp over. Grab the unidentifiable thing crushing Omega and try to pull it off her. 

It’s not budging. I frantically keep trying. There's NOTHING else in this world except me and this huge THING on top of her that I cannot seem to move. 

Sweating, my hands are raw, my eyes are wet, there is blood dripping down my face... 

Is it lacerated? Could it be my eardrums are ruptured? I don’t know.  

I just know I HAVE TO GET THIS THING OFF OF HER! 

Push, pull, kick... 

Then the wreckage flew off her like it weighed nothing at all. 

Wrecker is next to me. He freed Omega and put a hand on my shoulder. Hunter grabs her up. Echo is trying to speak to me. 

But I can’t hear anything at all. Just that damned whining in my ears.  

I can lip read though... 

He’s telling me to get back to the ship. 

Echo runs ahead with Hunter.  

Crosshair grabs my arm, dragging me along. He looks extremely worried. 

Whatever happened or if we even achieved our objective, I don’t know. 

Hunter sets Omega down on a bunk. He’s beside himself emotionally.  

I can feel the Marauder take off world.  

My hearing is still impaired, but the whining is less pronounced. 

I gently nudge Hunter aside and open my med kit. Pull out the bacta...but it won’t be enough... 

...she needs a tank. Her burns and lacerations are too numerous and severe. Still breathing and regular heartbeat, but unconscious.  

I am doing the best I can with what supplies are on hand. Putting her prognosis out of my head for the time being. 

We make a pit stop at a Rebel Base on a hidden moon. One with an extensive medical facility.  

Echo radioed ahead. As soon as Tech lands, the staff enters the ship and whisks Omega away. Hunter and Wrecker run after them. Echo runs in another direction...I’m assuming to report his intel to the Rebels. 

I stand at the bottom of the gangplank and watch them leave.  

Tech stares at me strangely.  

I shrug...and a horrible twinge of pain erupts from my upper back. My face feels sore too. 

Crosshair mumbles something. 

“WHAT???” I must be screaming but can’t hear anything. 

He mouths “your back” and points.  

I try to reach behind me to feel it.  

Tech grabs my hand and nods “no”. 

They both immediately took me to medbay. 

I’m treated for multiple facial lacerations, on top of first-degree burns. Missing some of my eyebrows. And, like I guessed bilaterial ruptured eardrums. 

Oh...and the kicker: A 12-inch piece of metal sticking out of my back. Had NO idea it was there.  

Adrenaline is a HELL of a hormone. 

Tech left to confer with Echo over intel and our next move. 

Crosshair stayed with me during the surgical removal of the metal. I demanded to be awake and requested a mirror to watch the whole procedure. 

The doctors were horrified but complied with my request. 

Crosshair held the mirror. He also asked to keep the metal once removed...to frame and hang up back on Pabu. 

“You're NOT like the other kids.” I quip. 

“Neither are you.” he winks. 

They won’t let me walk out of medbay. It’s the sedatives and painkillers, of course. I wouldn’t let me walk, either.  

Crosshair pushes me in a hover chair. We head over to the bacta tanks to check on Omega. 

She’s stripped down to a medical binder and med panties. Tubes to feed, breath, and eliminate. Floating in the tank, the extent of her injuries is very apparent: Second degree burns, multiple lacerations, a broken arm, a few broken ribs, and a head injury. Her hair had been clippered off entirely for cleanliness and most of it was charred.  

Omega was also put in a medically induced coma to aide her recovery. 

Hunter, sitting in a chair, has his arms around the bacta tank. He’s basically hugging it with his forehead resting snugly against the glass. 

“I shouldn’t have let her go. Blame myself.” He mumbles. 

Wrecker puts a hand on his back for comfort. “She’ll be ok Hunter. They said we got her here in time.”   

Then he looks shocked when he sees my face. 

“OH MY MAKER! Where are your EYEBROWS?” 

Still can’t hear very well, but I can DEFINITELY lip-read Wrecker. 

“Look what medical pulled out of him!” Crosshair proudly dangles a clear plastic bag containing the metal shard. 

Wrecker is transfixed. 

Hunter is devastated. “I MISSED that??? Didn’t even register you were injured...looked right at you...” 

Like a man lost and questioning EVERYTHING. His focus had been solely on Omega. 

“Aw...they couldn’t kill me. Don’t think I’ll be attracting any ladies with my perpetually surprised look though.” Trying to lighten the mood. 

“You can’t hear ANYTHING, can you?” Crosshair looks me in the eye. 

“Barely...why?” 

“You’re so LOUD.”  

“You should talk, Wrecker.” Crosshair sneered. 

“That’s how I know!” Wrecker rolled his eyes at his brother. 

Hunter looked even more guilty, hanging his head. 

“Hey guys...” 

Wrecker and Crosshair stopped whinging at each other. 

“Can I have some time alone with Hunter?” 

They both nodded and wandered off to find Echo and Tech. 

I nudge the chair over closer to Hunter and look at Omega through the glass. 

She’s so tiny in that big tank. So beat up and bruised. The lighting in the tank leaves NOTHING hidden. Even the old scars from her time on Kamino. The “experiments” according to the Kaminoans. Things they did to her before her brothers took her away.  

Things she never really spoke about with even Hunter. 

Things I only know about since working so closely at the facility on Kamino. A little girl who needed someone to comfort her. This was before her brothers were ever aware of her presence. 

“Her prognosis is very good, yes?” I broke the ice. 

“The docs say she’ll have to spend close to the next month in this tank.” Hunter’s voice cracked. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“I knew better! Why is it SO HARD for me to say no to her???” 

“Because you love her. You know she’s strong. You also know she’s still a child. If it makes you feel better, she snuck out ALL the time on Kamino. The Kaminoan’s would ask me to go look for her constantly.” 

“More of an argument to have left her on Pabu.” 

“You REALLY want to be at fault, huh?” 

“I’m responsible for...” 

I cut him off. 

“YOU CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING, HUNTER!” I winced. Moving too much with my exasperation. The sutures on my back were straining...and wet. 

Hunter stood up, glancing at my back. He could smell it. 

“Strike through?” I asked. 

“Yeah...just a little blood. You need to lie down and rest.” 

“That’s gonna be hard. Not supposed to lay on my back...and my face isn’t going to feel great against the pillow. How about I just stay sitting in this chair with you?” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah. I know you don’t want to leave her alone while she’s in this tube.” 

"Thank you. Honestly...I should say that more often. Y/N...you've really saved our butts a lot of times...I'm grateful to have you in our squad...family." Hunter cracked a small smile.

"Of course! Man...you are MY PEOPLE!" I beamed back. They really are. I'd go to the ends of the universe for every one of them!!!

Hunter's smile was so warm and genuine. But it lasted very briefly. His face became pensive again.

He was silent for a while...thinking. 

“Technically she’s asleep? Is that what a coma is like?” Hunter asked. 

“Kind of. The doctors are monitoring ALL her vitals constantly. And if anything is off, they can immediately see to her needs. Besides, the coma is just for the next 24-48 hours due to her head injury.”  

“I see.” 

“She’ll come through this. You clones were made to withstand a LOT of physical trauma. Stuff that would kill a regular human.” I added. 

“It’s not necessarily the physical stuff I’m worried about.” Hunter motions to the faint old scars on Omega’s body. “When she does wake up...she told me she has fears about being in a tube like an experiment.” 

“Tell her she has nothing to fear.” 

Hunter looks at me strangely. 

“People in a coma can still hear. Talk to her, Hunter.” 

He nods. Then directs his voice to the speaker on the bacta tube. 

I sit back and relax in the chair, watching this man...a brother, a parental figure speak to his child. 

He’s doing the best he can with what he has. 

We are all doing the best we can... 

...hanging on with HOPE. 

It’s the only thing holding the galaxy together right now... 

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[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Buboo

Debut: Kirby: Squeak Squad

Bubbles! Heehee! Hoohoo! What fun! I love bubbles a lot. They are not only fun, but really amazing things! Perfect wobbly orbs of gas, encased in a beautiful shine, sometimes flying around, sometimes just descending, sometimes even landing on the grass or your finger without popping, and it's like a magical moment of connection with an entity so different from you!

Sometimes they pop. This fragile and beautiful marvel of science, suddenly eliminated forever from existence. And that's ok! It's part of the fun! The world will never run out of bubbles, so feel free to obliterate them as you please! You can always make more, whether it's with a bubble wand, your own lips and saliva, or even by a happy little accident, squeezing a bottle of dish soap in just the right way to release a little tiny hovering wonder.

This all being said, I do not love bubbles as much as Buboo does. Buboo may be the number one bubbles fan. With the ability to create spit bubbles, I may be a Bubble Elemental, but even I cannot create enough bubbles to encase myself, and fly! I would if I could! Buboo literally lives at bubbles.

You will notice, however, that I cannot say Buboo IS bubbles. It is among bubbles, but it is not one of them! Like some kind of impostor. But who could this be? Who is red, and has eyes? A scarlet macaw? An angry sunburned dad? Red Jumbo Josh With Four Arms Plush? There are so many things that are red and have eyes! It's going to take me forever to dig through this pile of things that are red and have eyes. I can't eat them all by myself! I'm worried we'll never find out what Buboo's true form is after all...

Hi. I'm just playing around with you here. I know what it is.

It's a little crab! Isn't that a wonderful result? Once its bubbles are all popped, Buboo will fall to the ground and run around, continuing to blow bubbles as a final attack until defeated. I think Squeak Squad, which was my first Kirby game, may have been my first exposure to crabs blowing bubbles in media. I don't think I made the connection, and thought it was just an "elemental animal" without much deeper meaning (besides being really cool and cute, of course). But crabs and bubbles are best friends in real life!

You probably know that some crabs blow bubbles on land! But do you know why? They're not in distress or trying to intimidate another creature or anything. They're just breathing! When a crab breathes out through wet gills, it often comes out as bubbles. It doesn't serve any real purpose, but nothing wrong with bubbles! Also, I like to imagine an exhausted crab sighing, but only bubbles come out, and the sigh is only heard once the bubbles pop. Imagine it. It's whimsical.

Obviously, there is no actual crab that uses bubbles for locomotion... but there is a really awesome snail that does!

This is the violet sea snail! It creates bubbles using its slime, and makes an entire raft out of them, which it spends its whole life attached to upside-down, drifting at the ocean's surface! If you are stranded on an island in an ocean, as a human, you should absolutely not set off on nothing but a raft. But snails are different, and this snail eats Portuguese Men O' War, so clearly it knows what it's doing.

In conclusion, bubbles are so epic and awesome! They are delights and pockets of whimsy to us humans, and to some creature, they are an entire livelihood! I didn't even mention spittlebugs on this post. If you don't know spittlebugs, you should go learn about them! That is your homework. You get a passing grade if you smile at the thought of a spittlebug. Have fun!

[natspookie]

when you show up

an, hello anon! thanks for the req, hope you’re doing well and life gets less angsty for you:)

made reader a lil nerdy and smart here hehe and this is kind of a comfort fic for me toooooo (inspired by tasm 2)

natasha rushed through the halls, excitement filled to see you. her ap class, captain of the cheerleader squad, and extra circulars were all weighing down on her shoulders.

you had more work than natasha, badly needing a scholarship. with 4 ap classes, captain of debate team, part of school council, and varsity of volleyball, you had been tiring yourself out. hence, natasha’s plan to let you relax today, the start of your one week break.

she hadn’t seen you since tuesday, it was friday now. but you never failed to send her a little text to ask about her day.

natasha went to your favorite bakery, getting your favorite pastries, starbucks for your favorite coffee/ tea, the makeup shop right beside that to get that blush you had run out of, and got herself some jelly for her pb&js that you loved. you were always there for her, now it was her turn to show up.

natasha had already shooed away your kind roommate, wanda, setting her up with her friend who wanda happened to have a crush on, vision.

natasha used the key you gave her to your dorm and started setting up. it was nearing 6pm when she heard your keys jingle.

you shut the door and looked up to see natasha fixing the night light on your bedside table.

“nattie” you sighed, dropping your bag on the floor and jumping on her, giving her a bone crushing hug.

“i miss you too, darling” natasha laughed “waittt i’ll be back i just need to shower, im really sweaty” you kissed her cheek “i already have that fluffy towel you like set up” natasha spoke as you walked towards the bathroom “you’re an angel”

natasha had also refilled your shampoo which was her shampoo as well. when you got out in your pajamas natasha was awaiting you on your bed.

a tray of all your favorites was reheated and sat on the floor, where you sat. “you didn’t have to do all this nattie” you pouted and she flipped on her stomach, just watching you “you deserve it” “oh oh oh! it’s this croissant i love! i haven’t eaten since 10am” you mumbled “dekta you need to take care of yourself, alright”

“mhm.. you too. how was class?” you leaned against your beside table while eating” “the usual, i missed you this week” “i missed you too. but y’know its much harder when we have events to plan for school council” “are you guys in charge of planning the graduation next next month?” “yeah we’re involved in that thing… hows practice for next weeks game?”

“i almost got dropped by the new member when we were forming a pyramid” natasha giggled “are you alright?” you sat up and she just nodded, holding you back “have you eaten?” you asked and natasha thought about it “nattieeee! you need to eat as well” you held up half of the croissant and you moved beside her on the bed, embracing her with legs and arms intertwined.

natasha switched on the tv to your guys’ comfort show, friends. “i love you, thanks for being here with me” you weren’t sure if natasha was up but you said it anyways before falling to sleep

of course the day would come where you and natasha would graduate. thankfully, the college natasha wanted was not too far from your choice of college.

it was the night before your graduation when worries overtook natasha “you’ll be there for me even from a far, right?” natasha whispered “every step of the way.” “i promise we’ll make the… sorta.. long distance thing work, ‘kay?” “i need to work, i need you to function as a human being” you giggled “good” she mumbled, falling asleep

the next morning, you were going over your speech like a crazy woman. “dekta you need to relax” natasha slipped her hand into yours and rubbed circles. “i’m going to make a fool of myself… and i have to shake like 190 people” you chuckled nervously “including meeee!” “my favorite person” you teased

natasha was the loudest in the crowd when you gave your speech, of course mentioning how she helped you through your journey.

it was almost natasha’s turn to walk up and she had something crazy in mind. natasha smiled as she saw you in beside the dean.

“Natalia Alianova Romanov” they announced and Natasha walked up confidently up the stage and shook the dean, receiving her diploma. she shook your hand as well and whispered “can i kiss you” your eyes widened and nodded as natasha took your face in her hand and one on your back. the crowed cheered and you giggled, turning red as natasha smirked walking down.

you straightened your posture as you glanced at the dean who laughed at natasha’s antics.

either way, it ended up with you and natasha together and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[jedi-hawkins]

"Strap in, kid. You're not gonna want to miss this view." - Sgt. Hunter

I've seen a few others make a tribute post for the batch and I felt some words pulling at my chest.

I was a latecomer to the fandom, I binged season 1 & 2 in July of last year and it's been a wild ride since. I've laughed and cried and everything in between. It's hard to even articulate what this show means to me.

I began my Star Wars journey like many others, with the original trilogy at some point in childhood (you could consider me a zillenial). I liked them, but I was much more of a Harry Potter nerd at the time, my head was at Hogwarts. The prequels, however captured my heart. I don't remember when I first watched TCW, but it's very clear my heart belongs to the times of the Republic.

Like things often do, other fandoms have faded out of my peak interests, Harry Potter, Hunger Games and Maximum Ride to name a few, but any time I've come back to Star Wars, it feels like coming home. A galaxy far far away so vast and full of hope and love and grief and sorrow.

The last year has been far from easy. For the last few years, that feels like all we've been saying, huh? But in all seriousness, I really did loose myself in the past year, but oddly enough, Star Wars was a constant for me, it was an escape. I joined tumblr right after I binged season 1 & 2 of The Bad Batch and immediately fell in love with the wonderful world of fans and writers and artists here.

At first, I was a lurker, just a name that popped into the reblogs, but I began interacting more and more. I've brushed on this with a couple people (so sorry for repeating myself), but it was actually through reading fanfiction, that I came to terms with the fact that I needed to leave a 2.5 year relationship. It's not that I 'fell out of love' with them or anything, I just realized I didn't trust them as much as I should, I didn't want to share as much as I should, I wasn't being fulfilled in the ways I needed. And for that, fanfic authors, I thank you. Please never stop creating.

I also learned a lot about myself, get ready cause I'm about to get cheesy.

Hunter, you brought me a lot of comfort. I saw how heavy the wellbeing of your squad weighed on your shoulders. How you sacrificed and starved yourself, mentally and emotionally for their safety and benefit. I've lived that more times than I can count and with you, I didn't feel quite as alone in that experience. Even though we never talked, and we never will, I feel like you saw me. Crosshair, you healed some of my faith in humanity. That people can change, they can see the error in their ways and turn against a system they just sort of slipped into. You reminded me that healing isn't linear, and that's okay. You reminded me that courage and bravery aren't the absence of fear, but they are going and facing the mountain despite every atom in your body telling you to turn the other way. Echo, you reminded me it's okay to leave a group if your goals don't align. That it's not always an "in or out" situation. They can still be your family, people you rely on and who can rely on you even if you're not sharing bunks or meals anymore. You also reminded me that no matter how dire a situation is, or how grumpy you may be, a little humor goes a long way. Wrecker, you reminded me that people's perception does not define who you are. You can be big and gentle. you can love explosions and destruction and still be very intuitive. You can take some time to process things and still be skilled and intelligent. You reminded me to take joy in the simple things, a Lula, some Mantel mix, an ice cone. Things are always a little better with a full belly. Omega, you brought back some of my childlike innocence. You approached the galaxy with wide eyes full of wonder and always gave people the benefit of the doubt. You never lost hope. Even though you had to grow up too fast, you didn't let it break you, you still opened your heart to anyone who would see it. Tech, dear Tech. You reminded me to never dull myself or apologize for being authentically me. That my interests and skills are a good thing, no matter how niche they are. That I shouldn't be embarrassed or feel annoying for my knowledge or my eagerness to share it. You reminded me that love and humor and kindness and connection come in all shapes and sizes.

I've also made friends in this fandom at a level I wasn't even expecting to. I've made connections beyond the galaxy of Star Wars and found love and support in amazing ways. I was pulled to create more than I have in a long time, writing, drawing, hell even building my own server.

For sake of not clogging people's notifications, fighting with Tumblr's tagging bugs, and inevitably forgetting to tag someone: You all know who you are. Three M's, Havoc Marauder.

I began writing this tribute post before I watched the finale, and I'm finishing it after the finale. I'll end my ramble with this:

Dee and Michelle, thank you for bringing these characters to life over the last four years. You two really were the heart and soul of this project and your voices will forever ring true as Clone Force 99. Filoni, thank you for creating the concepts for this wonderful show that has become such a big part of so many people's lives. Brad, thank you for the immense work you've put into the show, your direction will not be forgotten. Jen, Joel, KinerBros, and Noshir (The Four Horsemen), y'all are a bunch of trolls and I hate you for it. I'm sending you my therapy bills. (I mean thank you for your work too, but you've been playing with my emotions for the past three months so forgive me if I'm a bit bitter)

It has truly been an amazing view. I don't plan on going anywhere, the fandom is just getting started, I am on the edge of my seat for all the wonderful fan creation that are yet to come.

CT-9901 ~ Sergeant Hunter ~ Havoc 1

CT-9902 ~ Tech ~ Havoc 2

CT-9903 ~ Wrecker ~ Havoc 3

CT-9904 ~ Crosshair ~ Havoc 4

ARC-1409 ~ Echo

Omega ~ Havoc 5

Clone Force 99 ~ Signing off 🫡

[horseshoegirl]

Damn Those Dog Tags - Masterlist

📖 Jake Seresin / Hangman

💛Elizabeth "Liz" Beck

❗️18+ minors DNI. Ageless and blank blogs are blocked without warning.

❗️Reposting of this fic, including designs, line breaks, banners or any graphic materials is strictly forbidden without written consent from me. Be a decent human being and don't steal people's work.

🏷️ slow burn, strong language, troubling family dynamics, death of a parent/sibling, godmother reader, inexperienced/mildly insecure reader, mentions of an abusive relationship, physical violence later on (one scene, maybe two), romance, sexual themes/references (I mean smut!).

🎼 playlist

Summary: Your sister Ridley has passed away, leaving behind her ten-year-old daughter Sadie. The Dagger Squad go out of their way to ensure you and Sadie have people you can count on. Boring Saturday nights turned into game nights, rowdy dinners, and cheering events at Sadie’s soccer games. Any milestone or opportunity they want to be there. But the last to join the group is Hangman. The moment you met Jake Seresin, your heart screamed the cocky pilot was looking for a good time, not a long time. Deciding to keep him at a distance to protect your heart, Sadie has other ideas when she learns he was purposely left out.

A03 | Wattpad

Masterlist:

Part 1 - Be Still

Part 2 - Hello, I love you

Part 3 - Southern Nights

Part 4 - Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress

Part 5 - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Part 6 - Three Little Birds

Part 7 - Oh What A Night

Part 8 - Drift Away

Part 9 - Hang on, Hang On

Part 10 - Let's Dance

Part 11 - Dream On

Part 12 - Blue Healer

Part 13 - Sons and Daughters

Part 13. 5 - Bradley Bradshaw Oneshot - Way Down we Go

Part 14 - Sex on Fire

Part 15 - Have you ever seen the rain?

Part 16 - In the Blood

Part 17 - Come a little bit closer

Part 18 - Sapling

Part 19 - An Evening I Will Not Forget

Part 20 - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)

Part 21 - My Fair Lady

Part 22 - Jump

Part 23 - Sleep Deprivation

Art Work:

BookCover For DTDT's One-Year Anniversary

Moodboards:

Mood Board For Part Four - By @desert-fern

Mood Board for Part Ten - By @teacupsandtopgun

Main Masterlist for all my works

[elle-p]

Akira Ishida's Persona3 The Movie #4 Winter of Rebirth blu-ray comment translation

Ideas about Persona 3 The Movie

For Makoto Yuki, the 4 chapters of Persona 3 The Movie were the story of how, after Death was sealed within him and his heart became hollow, it began to fill up and repair through his interactions with the Specialised Extracurricular Execution Squad.

I feel like as a part the adroit way the narrative is structured around the recollection of Makoto's memories, the timeline and timing of what is revealed is shifted, so that the audience members who hadn't exerienced the game version may have felt a sort of eerieness when seeing Makoto's position when he first appears. Moreover, many of the plot points that happen in every chapter, for example things like the misunderstanding regarding Yukari and her dad, the case of Junpei and Chidori, and Aragaki-senpai and Amada-kun's relationship, seem depressing and gloomy. However, it's not because they are cheerful and happy, but because they accurately depict the wounds that people carry inside themselves that Makoto, by meeting and understanding them as he progress through the chapters, is able to aquire the precious things everyone should have.

I believe that the reason why Persona 3 The Movie's 4 chapters were well recieved by the audience was not just due to their interest in seeing the story they experienced in game in a film, but also because the scenery that Makoto sees made an impact and they related to it, and were curious to see how things would develop. This is how Persona 3 The Movie depicts the various ups and downs of the experiences that make up people's hearts, but my understanding of the word 'Persona' is that it comes from psychology.

When I first heard about the title and contents during recording, I wondered why you would call the incarnation of yourself for battle a Persona. A mask that people wear to represent themselves externally. It becomes a weapon to fight your enemies, the things that face you. This seems like everyday communication itself. So, when I think about the original meaning of Persona, I can make my own satisfactory reasoning as to why Makoto's Persona isn't in the form of a single one that evolves, but instead uses multiple from the beginning. The empty minded Makoto has no desire to be seen externally. It doesn't matter to him; he doesn't care how he's seen, so there's no reason for him to limit himself to one mask. What do you think? Personally, I quite like this reasoning. By viewing Makoto as having been an empty vessel, it makes it a major necessity for the story to develop him as a character in the film. Is it too much of a stretch to say that Makoto Yuki's story isn't just limited by the framework of a game, and has the potential to withstand the development and adaption, so therefore it was inevitable that it would be made into a movie? Speaking of which, the climax scene of Winter of Rebirth. After all he's been through, regaining his lost humanity and filling himself, Makoto reaches the point where he is willing to sacrifice his own life for his friends, just like his mother once did for him. There is no recklessness that comes from the indifference to the fear of death as in Spring of Birth. In order to achieve their shared goal of protecting the proof of existance people leave behind, Makoto decided to save the friends who had filled him and given him the elements to reconstruct himself and the world in which they live. And, as you all saw, this action was based on a self-sacrifical idea. For this reason Makoto, who can wear the masks of many Personas, gets every one of them shattered, and in the end can only move forward without wearing a mask. Don't you think this is a very symbolic scene?

He entrusts his friends with the same word his mother told him: 'live'. If a mother's love for her child is the ultimate, unsupassed thing, then you can say that Makoto's inner self, which can pour out that selfless love from the bonds with his friends, has completely regained human form. In addition, there is a mechanism in place which means that you can only go to the last stage without wearing the mask of a Persona. This can be seen as a message that the power to stand up to Nyx, the last opponent, the environment, and the world resides in someone's true essence, and that it is impossible to do so while wearing a false mask. It is also suggested by the composition that it is necessary to wear the mask of a Persona when defeating enemies, and to expose your true self when protecting loved ones. I would like to say that there is no way that exposing your true self could lead to strength, but once reset and gained new experiences, Makoto reached the next stage before others, attaining the answer to life. He is no longer an ordinary person. Even though it's fiction, I'm glad that it was Makoto and the others that were given the mission to fight Shadows in the Dark Hour. If it had been me, since I still haven't found the answer to life, the world would have ended on January 31st as planned, and these ideas would have never come into the world. If you think about it, that could have been okay, too.

劇場版「ペルソナ3」にまつわる妄想

結城理にとって劇場版「ペルソナ3」の全4章はデスをその身に封印され、心が虚ろになってしまった彼が、特別課外活動部の仲間達とのふれあいを経て、その中身を満たし直していくまでの過程をたどる物語でした。

理の記憶の甦りという物語構成の妙として、時間軸とそれが公開されるタイミングがズラされていたりしたので、ゲーム版に触れたことがない観客の皆さんは初登場時の理の立ち位置に一種の不気味さを感じたのではないかと思います。そのうえ各章で起こる事件は、例えばゆかりの父親に対する誤解や順平とチドリの一件、荒垣先輩と天田くんの関係など暗くて重いものが多い印象です。しかしそういった明るくてハッピーなものばかりではない、人が内側に抱え込んでいる傷の部分をきちんと描いたからこそ、彼らに出会ってそれを見つめることになる理も、章が進むにつれて、本来、人として持っているべき大切なものを、欠けることなく獲得していけたのだと思います。

劇場版 「ペルソナ3」の全4章が観客の皆さんに受け入れて頂けたのも、ゲームで体験したストーリーを映像で見てみたいという興味の他に、そんな理の見る景色に影響され同調することで、その先の展開が気になったからという部分もあったのではないでしょうか。このように人の心を構成する様々な経験の起伏を描いた劇場版「ペルソナ3」ですが、そもそもペルソナという単語は僕の理解では心理学周辺で出てくるものですよね。

一番初めのゲーム収録でこのタイトルと内容を知ったときに、バトルをするための自分の化身をペルソナと呼ぶなんて、何でシャレてるんだと思ったものでした。人が対外的に自分を表すためにかぶる仮面。それが敵、自分に向かってくるモノと戦うための武器になる。これは日常のコミュニケーションそのものに見えます。だから、そういうペルソナを本来の意味を考えると、理だけが一つのペルソナの進化という形ではなく、初めから複数のぺルソナを使い分けられるというところにも自分なりに納得のいく理屈をつけることができそうです。心の中が空っぽの理には端から対外的にどう見られたいという願望がありません。そんなことは彼にとってはそれこそ「どうでもいい」ことであって、どう見られても構わないからこそ、かぶる仮面を一つに限定する理由がないのです。どうでしょう。自分としてはこの理由付けの仕方、なかなか気に入っています。理が空の器であったと捉えることで、映画の登場人物として物語を展開させていく大きな必然性を持たせることにもなるのです。結城 理の物語はゲームの枠にとどまらず、映画化という展開にも充分耐えうるポテンシャルを持っていた、だから映���化されるのは必然だったというのはちょっと暴走し過ぎでしょうか。暴走ついでに、第4章『Winter of Rebirth』のクライマックスシーン。これまでの経験を経て、一度無くした人間性を取り戻し、中身を満たすことができた理は、かつて母親が自分にしてくれたように、仲間を生かすために自分の命を投げ出すという境地にまで達します。そこには第1章『Spring of Birth』の頃の己の死の恐怖に対するどうでもよさから来る蛮勇はありません。自分たちが存在した証を守り残すという全員の目標を果たすために、理は自分を満たしてくれた、自分を再構成するためのエレメンツをくれた仲間と彼らが生きていく世界を、今度は自分が救おうとしました。そしてそれが自己犠牲的発想に基づく行動だったのは皆さんも感じられた通りです。そのために数多くのペルソナという仮面をかぶることができる理が、ことごとくそのペルソナを打ち砕かれ、最後はその仮面をかぶらずに先へ進む。これはなかなか象徴的なシーンだとは思いませんか。

「生きろ」と自分に伝えてくれた母親と同じ言葉を仲間に託していく。母親が我が子を思う母性愛が、究極、無上のものであるならば、仲間たちとの間にその無償の愛情を注げるまでの絆を楽いた理の内面は、完全に人間としての形を取り戻したと言えるでしょう。それに加えて、ペルソナという仮面をかぶらない形でしか最後のステージに上がれないという仕掛けが用意されているわけです。これはニュクスという究極の敵、環境、世間に立ち向かえる力を宿す場所はその人の本質的な部分にしかない、虚飾の仮面を被った姿では無理なんだというメッセージにも見えるわけです。また、敵を倒すときにはペルソナという仮面をまとい、大切な人を守るときには自分の素の姿をさらけ出すことが必要だったという構図も暗示的です。自分なんかはとてもじゃないけれど素の自分をさらけ出したところで強さに結びつくとは到意思えないと言いたいところですが、一度リセットされ、新たに経験を積み直した理は、人より先に一つ上のステージ、命の答えに到達しているのです。もはや凡人ではありません。フィクションとはいえ、影時間でシャドウと戦う使命を与えられたのが理達で良かったとつくづく思います。もしも僕だったとしたら、命の答えにたどり着くのはまだまだ先のことでしょうから、世界は予定通り1月31日に終わっていたでしょうし、そうなったらこの妄想が世に出ることもなかったでしょう。そう考えるとそれもアリだったかもしれませんけどね。