#love stinks

[flowerprintundies]

SOME of, but not all *sobs* of Jeffrey Combs' 80's and 90's roles

[february2024choiceschallenge]

@choicesmonthlychallenge @choicesfandomappreciation @choicesficwriterscreations @choicesflashfics @choicesholidays @choicesprompts @choicesjanuary2024

[ivebeenmade]

Been up since about 8:30. She woke up feeling ill. I tried to get us both back to bed since I don't work until 1. Despite falling asleep into.her redbull about 10 times (and she fucking needs sleep) she got angry the moment I laid down with her.

Things we've fought about as follows.

1.) I was going to make breakfast. We have sausages and some mini seasoned potatoes. Sounds pretty good to me. She snaps back that we can't have breakfast because I "broke" the last bottle of maple syrup. *We* used it actually. And all the breakfast stuff comes from a shopping trip just her and her mother were on yesterday. But I should have gone out and replaced the maple syrup we didn't need I guess.

2.) I cleaned our entire kitchen yesterday. It took me 4 hours. I was just getting finished when she got back home from her treatment. She never said "thank you" or "that looks good". Nope. Her exact words? "I see the kitchen got cleaned, that's nice" and at least there was an uptick in her tone though I wish there hadn't been because apparently she was, in her words, "livid" when she saw the kitchen. Why? I hadn't done one final mop of the floor, cleared the cheap wire stand we use to store cans (we're replacing it/moving it/who knows). And finally, the most insulting, she's pissed off because I had yet to clean off the counters. Which was my next step before she walked in the door. I'm always very frustrated, and treated like I'm some nuisance or home invader, if I clean while she's home. She either complains about the noise, or complains that I'm "ignoring" her.

I understand deeply that she is suffering from a very difficult physical illness. My aunt died from it when I was a kid, my other aunt is in an assisted living home and probably won't make it long. So I fucking well understand her suffering. And I try everything to accommodate. And she just shits on me.

Oh, right, the bonus: my employer has developed a personal prejudice against me. Not getting into it, but I am no where near adjacent to guilty of what he's claiming. Despite that, they've been giving me no more than 16 hours for a couple weeks now. So my girlfriend(!) the person who was my best friend since we were, I dunno, 6, says "forget it, I'll finish cleaning myself...let's see if I can afford the supplies with your shitty check".

Why would someone who loves me say something so horrible? I would gladly go to work for 40, 50, 60, hours if it meant not being around long enough for her to come up with more ways to hurt me.

The really, stupidly fucked up thing though? I've found myself feeling guilty about the dog having to live in a house where people just yell, or stay totally silent for hours just so they can stomach each other. My dog knows when I'm sad, he comes to me and hugs me and sits as close as possible, and he'll just give me the biggest beautiful eyes while I'm crying, and kiss my face. He's such a good boy.

I'm so broken. I don't know if I can fix this. I don't think she wants me to. I miss us so much, I can feel this open would on my soul, just bleeding slowly, just losing everything I thought I was.

[kickdrumheart68]

So, I've posted a LOT of anti-Valentine things today and you're probably sick of them. Or perhaps you scrolled by like usual and paid no attention; either way let me explain....

Valentine's day has never been a big thing for me; no man has ever sent or given me flowers. Oh wait; I have been given a poppy on Veteran's Day several times by retired Veteran's. That's has to count in some way.... Anyway, love hasn't been the best experience for me; not where relationships are concerned. Fell hard for someone only to find out he was actually with someone else with no intentions of changing that. Husband cheated, we divorced. Met another guy, GREAT guy, expected us to last forever; we were good together, had SO much fun, we were best friends...but after 4 years he decides he lost interest in me 2 years earlier but didn't want to tell be because he knew he would lose me..... WTAF!?

I'm not against love or relationships; I just don't think I'm made for them, and Valentines Day feels like having my nose rubbed in all my losses. Stupid, right? Thankfully, I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. So, if you're still with me and not too terribly annoyed; or even if you are.... I hope you have/had a splendid Valentine's day, thank you for reading and following me (if you do), and I hope love is kind to you and brings you nothing but joy!

❤️🥰😘❤️

[poetrythreesixfive]

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want This Time

What do I have to do

to make her pay attention?

to win her heart and come in first

instead of honorable mention

to not get stuck in second place

behind some other guy;

to get so close and cast away

without an answer why

to have to walk this lonely road

while others fall in love,

to wonder if this punishment

is somehow from above

to be inside her trusting heart,

all questions cast aside;

for once I want to be the man

instead of stuck outside.

-GeorgeFilip

[anxious-black-hottie]

[unlckyfcku]

H8R

[giannic]

I have a commitment to do at least 960 pushups this weekend. The number might go up, because it's dependent on the likes for one comment under a Psych-to-Go video. Well...

Love! Who needs it? Love stinks. I don't want to fall in love.

[unidentifiedprimate]

Freddy's Nightmares - Love Stinks

Part 3

[sinnershavesoulstoo]

is this love or am i just stupid

[kickdrumheart68]

🖤🍕🖤

[poetrythreesixfive]

Over-Ghosted

Maybe, once day, someone will see me,

really see me, not turn away, averting

their eyes as if I were a breathing offense,

but gaze upon my face and body and skin

with something closer to love than to

tolerance, a shade nearer to devotion than

to simply blank and utter indifference.

-GeorgeFilip

[anxious-black-hottie]

[dj-jonny-spins]

As is traditional - my anti-valentine's day playlist.