#love using this as a starter meme because it’s so broad and can work for ANYTHING

[folkelorde]

how do you find people to have an indie rp with? I’ve been out of the rp game for some time so I’m feeling intimidated to just dive in alone 🥺

hi !! i’m probably not the best person to ask for a number of reasons, i love that you reached out, though. i think the best way to do it is to make yourself a promo and use tags !! don’t be afraid to follow a bunch of people that you want to interact with, and if those people follow you back, try not to be too intimidated to send plotting messages or memes or use their interest trackers, usually people have a pretty good outline in their rules so it’s gotten easier to figure out how to approach people. i think the main thing is putting yourself out there, which can be tough, but rewarding once you start meeting people. 

i usually use indie to play canons that i want to and lots of times those fandoms have discords and stuff you can join – as @gomezisabellas reminded me, there’s also the @findindies server, and obviously the tags you look in and people you interact with are less broad / easier to find most of the time ? but yeah, my best tip is to use the tags and not be afraid to interact with your mutuals when they post starter calls or memes. it takes time and work ( more than in a group rp tbh ) to build relationships and plots with those people, but once you settle into a groove i think it gets a lot easier, and it’s nice because you create your own rules, boundaries, and schedule.  

i really need to get my shit together but i’m hoping to get back into indie and maybe have a mumu page in a few months or something lol. but i hope this helped !!

[letteredlettered]

Hello! This is a broad question so it's fine you don't feel like answering. Do you ever get tired of fandom and its culture? I feel like sometimes there's nothing but discourse and arguments and just... it can be quite draining. Just wondered I'd ask you since you've been in a number of fandoms for a long time! I'm sure you've seen it all. Thank you for your time!!!

I think the last time I got tired of fandom was over 12 years ago. At that time, two things were true: 1) I was having some personal problems that meant I didn’t have a job, didn’t feel good about it, and didn’t have a lot of friends that could talk about things I wanted to talk about. 2) Fandom felt a lot more centered; it was easy to build communities and become a part of them. As a result, at that time, fandom was my main support network. Therefore, when certain aspects of fandom became unpleasant, I felt I had very few places to turn to. I eventually got a job, a lot more stable relationships, and several types of community. Fandom also dispersed onto many platforms, making it very hard to rely on fandom for social interaction. I still do get annoyed by some things in fandom, but when that happens, it’s very easy to dip into another corner of fandom that isn’t toxic or to walk away completely.

I will say that having participated in fandom for a long time has also given me a different perspective. Conversations about social justice--racism, misogyny, homophobia, ableism--as well as conversations about porn--what gets written, with which characters, what age and sex those characters are, how they’re treated, how this porn is posted and consumed--are conversations that have cycled through fandom since long before I was in it. I’ve learned a lot from these conversations, but after participating in them for years and listening to them for even longer, there’s not much more I can learn from random people on the internet. The same is true for issues with less of a social justice vibe--feedback culture, ship wars, fest etiquette, anonymous behavior, etc--I’ve seen it all before, and while I think these can be worthwhile conversations, I no longer feel a strong urge to participate all the time. Generally I feel like arguing on the internet has a smaller value for someone like me than listening, having compassion, modifying my behavior when necessary, and doing what I can irl and with my friends.

I have more to say about fandom cliques.

The other aspect of fandom that can grow wearisome, besides the cyclical debates, is the cliquish nature of fandom communities, and the way typical group behavior is exacerbated by the very fact of being online. Who is popular, who they like, what they say, who likes whom, who did what to whom, how everyone reacted to it--all of this can feel super important online in a way it doesn’t to me irl. I’d like to pretend I’m very classy and stay above all this, but that would be a lie. I have often wanted, in my fandom life, to be someone who has hordes of fandom friends, who leaves comments on everything they read, someone who recs with abandon, someone who runs fests, someone who replies to everyone and makes new people feel welcome and develops starter kits and makes memes everyone loves and invents all the fanon everyone uses etc etc.

Alas, my own social reticence prevents me from being that fan. I have tremendous problems with routine or anything that needs to be done regularly. This includes but is not limited to communicating with friends or people that interest me or people whose work I like. Basically, all the people who love me are people who are willing to keep reaching out to me even when I don’t always respond. I try to warn people about this and communicate clearly that it’s something I really struggle with, but it is not conducive to making friends.

Additionally, I have found that I struggle to feel a part of communities--partly because maintaining your status in a community means regularly being a part of it, but partly I have trouble identifying with most people. Fannish people share more of my interests than most people in the world, but even among fans, I often feel left out and excluded, an extra thumb on a hand that does beautiful things without me. These social difficulties isolate me, but they do have the benefit of insulating me. The one time I was almost in the middle of a fight about who wanted to be my fandom friend, I had the fortune to be so far out of the loop that I didn’t really know what the fuck was going on.

Anyways, the result of my personality is such that I mostly tend to look at fandom on the outside. I get pretty sad about this from time to time, but the times I have gotten deep into fandom have not gone particularly well for me. Either I’ve felt that feeling of exclusion I’ve mentioned before, or I noticed that others were being excluded--ie, I was for some reason included in The Popular Clique. This makes me intensely uncomfortable, and I’ve extricated myself in situations where I’ve felt that way. Unfortunately, fandom spaces that allow for cliques are also the places where you really get to know people and build community. As such, I really don’t make fandom friends easily. The few I do have are pretty much lifelong friends that I share a lot with besides fandom. My best friend is from fandom. My girlfriend is from fandom. Most of the friends I go to when I need to talk irl are from fandom. My original novel-writing partner is from fandom. These are the people I tend to talk to when I need to talk about fandom, though it can feel very lonely when I have a new fandom and no friends fall into it with me.

This is a long answer to say--fandom is exhausting if you’re really participating to the hilt, but given that I really mostly just write fics and answer asks, most of the time it’s chill. When I get deep into something I might join a discord or do a twitter, but I burn out of that pretty fast--though I sometimes do make friends that I keep forever after.

[blueheartedmayor]

I just.. sadly don't really have any roleplay partners. I have my best friend, who only rps with me and her friend, sometimes an OC blog when they're active, and well, you now and then. Everyone I used to rp with isn't on tumblr anymore or something else, since it's been years since their blogs were last active. I feel like i'm not doing anything but sit here, since i cant find anyone. i dont know any ego blogs but yours actually, and i really miss writing my muse normally

and while i do love writing a lot! i just.. have so little motivation anymore, and absolutely NO ideas. i dont know what to write for drabbles or oneshots or stuff, and general ideas like "blubb au" is too broad for me to come up with with an idea. roleplay is easier because im not the only one being creative and giving ideas. and i cant really ask for writing prompts if no one is around to send them either :')

(Sorry! I was having dinner when you sent these!)

OOC: If I may be blunt for a moment. By saying you ‘don’t have any roleplay partners’, then list a few, you’re actually dismissing those you write with. By definition, that’s precisely what a roleplay partner is. I know you’re likely comparing things to how they used to be (easy to do these days), but I think everyone is in the middle of accepting things aren’t the way they used to be. People have jobs, IRL commitments, other hobbies, without even mentioning the giant stress that is the world as we know it right now. And that’s okay. Like I said, it’s better to appreciate those you do have. While things may not be as active as you’re used to, it’s still a starting point.

When I find myself in a rut like that, I look at the ask memes I’ve reblogged and see if any of them work as a starting point - whether as a sentence starter, or a line to include in a little piece of writing. I personally wouldn’t recommend relying on others for a writing prompt. My writing blog, for instance, never gets prompts sent in any more (which is fair! I don’t engage in the community and thus no one engages with me. It’s an unfair expectation to put on people when I do nothing to earn it). It doesn’t need to be a brand new AU. It could be something simple. You could even explore some headcanons. Things like any certain routines they have, a place they like to visit, or an item that means a lot to them can be good starting points for musings. I find, especially with Y.ancy, that doing my research brings ideas I can drabble or muse on. Maybe you could do some research into the job your muse does, or a hobby? I have seen a blog on my dash reblog from this prompt account and give some answers in tags, or make a new post with a reference link to the question so they can expand on it without clogging notifications on the other blog.

Finally... I do write with a handful of ego blogs (and mine are linked on my main blog - @dreamingofmuses ). However, I’m not going to tag any since I don’t know their stance on accepting new partners and it wouldn’t be fair to put them on the spot. However, if any of them are looking for new partners, maybe they could like this post as an expression of interest for you to check out at a later point? (Assuming time zones work in my favour and people see this)

[iasfuturekings]

Diantha and Claudia headcanons... I beg...

All righty I’ll just pull out this OTP questions meme~

Diantha is the more affectionate of the two and is a very touchy person who likes to enjoy company with others over material possessions. Claudia isn’t as touchy because she doesn’t have great self esteem and prefers giving gifts and doing favors for Diantha.

Claudia is the big spoon, and Diantha is the little spoon. The only people who know this fact is anyone who’s ever caught them snuggling in bed (Diantha’s siblings, Jakob, a few other servants)

Both of them hate it when the other is working too much and don’t have time for the other person. Diantha gets upset because a lot of important people in her life are notorious workaholics, and Claudia points out that she unwittingly takes after the same people.

Their favorite kind of date is horseback riding together into the sunset because Esterlyn scenery is best viewed at twilight hours.

Both of them are squishy mages, but Claudia can at least heft Dia if she tried hard enough.

Diantha loves Claudia’s cheeks and broad shoulders. Claudia gets lost in Dia’s eyes all the time.

Their romance was the definition of childhood romance and slow burn. Realizing they loved each other wasn’t much of a flashpoint moment so much as they entertained the idea of taking another step further and loving the entire way up.

Claudia worries the most, growing up as the youngest marquess of her own house and knowing the struggle of maintaining financial stability and politics. Diantha has lived in more relative luxury and is slightly more carefree (unless Xander and Mars get hurt).

Claudia, who often gets gifts for Diantha, has very good memory about Diantha’s likes and dislikes than many realize. Diantha, who’s always keeps tracks of what Claudia’s up to, is good at getting in tune with Claudia’s mood. Their friendship runs that deep.

Claudia would be the first to tell family and friends about their relationship, because Dennis is the nosiest person, Silas has pretty bad luck of finding out, and Jakob hates secrets being kept from him. Diantha wouldn’t tell siblings or consorts not in her alliance, but she’d wait for a while to tell Xander or Mars.

Their relationship is an open secret, but those who know are generally happy for them. Those on Claudia’s side are glad someone is able to bring unadulterated joy in her life, and Dia’s siblings either think Claudia is a person genuinely deserving of Dia or is a potentially important asset in the royal court. Claudia doesn’t mind either perspective.

Diantha is the better dancer and will be the one to encourage Claudia to dance with her at parties. Claudia is still a very stiff person when dancing, but she’s improved considerably because of Diantha’s help.

Even though Diantha is the family chemist and botanist, Claudia is the better cook. She’s had to learn these skills after having to cut costs in her estate to keep Esterlyn afloat after her father’s fall to illness. The Lovells believes highly in sustainability but not skimping on good taste.

Diantha is the cheesier one because she was raised on Garon’s poetry. Claudia is not as into flowery language like Dia is, but she’s learned enough to know all her references and respond in kind.

Diantha is unsurprisingly the more likely to whisper inappropriate things in public to Claudia, simply because she finds amusement in riling Claudia up, but she does so sparingly.

My theme song for them is “Garden of Everything” by Steve Conte and Maaya Sakamoto. I heard it once on a Merthur fanmix and thought it was lovely and hopeful that even though they’re separated in this mortal coil, they will eventually reunite somehow.

Diantha would sing lullabies to children she takes care of. Claudia, well, we already know how Silas turned out.

Claudia and Diantha are of the habit of penning letters to each other often. The capital of Windmire is ways away from Esterlyn, so a lot of their communication involves a lot of long distance. Windmire Castle and the Lovell Estate can expect boxes and boxes of letters almost every month from both women.

Something that breaks my heart about them? Well, for starters, Dia is dead, and Claudia is stuck out here living with the grief and her heart will always belong to Dia, marriage to someone else or not. Also, Diantha’s image is used a lot by Anankos (mostly to get back at Xander, Anri, and the rest of the family), but Claudia is heavily affected by this, too.

What mends my heart about them? In the case that Claudia doesn’t marry anyone, she still manages to find happiness in other things while devoting all her life to preserving Diantha’s memory. Not having a spouse would mean Claudia gets to hang as many portraits of her girlfriend as much as she wants without looking weird.

[thecharmingknightemma-moving]

like this post and I’ll pick a sentence from this meme and turn into a short starter (one liner or with a bit of context)

you can specify your muse(s) and everything else if you want (fandom, what is Emma)

some sentences might need to be adjusted to work

I’ll copy them under read more as well in case the post disappears:

‘  i’m a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife)  ’ ‘  let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes.  ’ ‘  blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries aren’t even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and it’s fucking magical.  ’ ‘  touch id is pissing me off. ‘try again’ the fuck? it’s me with a lil chicken grease.  ’ ‘  call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep without me.  ’ ‘  healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake.  ’ ‘  me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess.  ’ ‘  do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or both  ’ ‘  *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didn’t use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable.  ’ ‘  my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylight  ’ ‘  quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing ever  ’ ‘  date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see america’s 10 most haunted places  ’ ‘  any vampires who need permission to enter my house…. you have my permission… you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind?  you can do that… wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it  ’ ‘  i’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them  ’ ‘  *nervously calls crush bro*  ’ ‘  i don’t have trust issues. i have ‘seen that shit happen before my own eyes’ issues.  ’ ‘  fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october.  ’ ‘  concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now  ’ ‘  i’m so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. i’m so proud of you.  ’ ‘  i’m so protective of me now, i’ll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy  ’ ‘  why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know i’m making macaroni.  ’ ‘  date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6’2" because he loves cuddles  ’ ‘  going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together.  ’ ‘  we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote ‘marry me’ on your hand with a sharpie, i wasn’t joking.  ’ ‘  you’re equivalent to my favorite color. you’re the human version of what is safe.  ’ ‘  one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them.  ’ ‘  you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when i’m not talking  ’ ‘  why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.  ’ ‘  i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me.  ’ ‘  *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay.  ’ ‘  i like to blame myself for everything just in case.  ’ ‘  the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word.  ’ ‘  love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious.  ’ ‘  i haven’t done anything but i sure could use a break.  ’ ‘  sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone.  ’ ‘  who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you.  ’ ‘  i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration.  ’ ‘  me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare.  ’ ‘  so what’s next? you heal. you grow. and you help others.  ’ ‘  my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning.  ’ ‘  if you think i’m cute send me money.  ’ ‘  one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorry….. you will all be sorry.  ’ ‘  not a day passes where i don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because i’m on the path to destroy my ego so i won’t be embarrassed anymore.  ’ ‘  there is no reason not to love with you whole heart.  ’ ‘  i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.  ’ ‘  sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text.  ’ ‘  ‘i can see your nipples through that shirt’ first of all stop being ungrateful.  ’ ‘  so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ’ ‘  i heard you like bad girls. well i’m bad….. at everything.  ’ ‘  yes, i am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but i still wanna be like……. loved and stuff.  ’ ‘  i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot.  ’ ‘  let me show you just how good i can be.  ’ ‘  i’m just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am.  ’ ‘  i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys.  ’ ‘  i’m a snail and god is salting me.  ’ ‘  i hate texting people who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die.  ’ ‘  being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!???????  ’ ‘  i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.  ’ ‘  my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me.  ’ ‘  i have hella heart eyes for you.  ’ ‘  you’re cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour.  ’ ‘  it’s pretty iconic to like yourself.  ’ ‘  i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why can’t i just sleep for four months and then return to real life.  ’ ‘  stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me)  ’ ‘  i’m still obsessed with you like it’s day one.  ’ ‘  to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92, ‘no’.  ’ ‘  i would have a cuter room if i wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor.  ’ ‘  on two hours of sleep i’m either way too happy or violently homicidal.  ’ ‘  let’s go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours.  ’ ‘  alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right.  ’ ‘  tbh it’s okay if no one else thinks i’m funny because i think i’m a riot.  ’ ‘  catching feelings is bullshit. i’m just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you.  ’ ‘  smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness.  ’ ‘  self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta.  ’ ‘  you didn’t go through all of that for nothing.  ’ ‘  get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be there to take care of you right now.  ’ ‘  home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you.  ’ ‘  i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities.  ’ ‘  ok but platonic forehead kisses.  ’ ‘  my heart is guarded but like… very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie.  ’ ‘  what doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me (unfortunately).  ’ ‘  do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks.  ’ ‘  life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep.  ’ ‘  by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12?  ’ ‘  cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part.  ’ ‘  don’t depend on anyone. handle your own shit.  ’ ‘  there isn’t one alternate reality where i didn’t fall in love with you.  ’ ‘  being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me?  ’ ‘  if i say ‘backstreet’s back’ and you do not say ‘ALRIGHT!’ we’re not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck.  ’ ‘  i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too.  ’ ‘  my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr.  ’ ‘  you know you’re fucked when their voice turns you on.  ’ ‘  don’t look at my fucking boner when we fight.  ’ ‘  not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs.  ’ ‘  it’s you. it will always be you.  ’ ‘  why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me.  ’ ‘  thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness.  ’

[noctispostmortem-blog]

PSA

I did one of these on my old blog and I’m bringing it back but revamping it a bit. This is to all my mutuals! Mainly this is what is in my rules but I thought I’d post it as well as a reminder and to clarify certain things. This did get pretty long so I placed it under the cut. Any questions, feel free to send me an ask.

First of all, if I follow you I want to RP with you.

If you want to drop something, whether it be a thread, a ship, an interaction, anything all, that’s perfectly fine no matter the reasoning. You’re not feeling that thread anymore? Alright, let’s do something else. You’re not feeling this ship anymore? Sure, I’m alright with that! These two muses just aren’t working out in their interaction? Got it! Let’s try something else! I’m perfectly fine with all of it!

My inbox is always open. Send that meme. Say hello. Ask any question that you have! Seriously, I won’t mind!

If I post a starter call, inbox call, or plotting call, do not be afraid to like it if that is what you want to do. Same thing for if I post an open RP’s for my muses, just jump right in if you want.

I love AU’s, I truly do. And they can vary from small little changes to the normal verse to my characters becoming something completely different. Either way, I’m up for it so come at me if you have an idea.

I’m a little shit when it comes to replies, seriously I am. Sometimes I can spew out reply after reply within minutes of each other, and sometimes I will go days without a single one. It’s called life. Sometimes I’m not feeling good, or my mood is too sour. Maybe I’m struggling to come up with a reply I find suitable and really want to take my time and make sure it’s right. Maybe my muse isn’t cooperating with me. There are so many reasons, it’s ridiculous and if you’re worried that I no longer want to reply, just ask. I won’t bite, I promise.

I do not mind having multiple threads with the same mun. Whether that be your muses RP’s with several of mine, several of mine RP with multiple of yours or even if you have more than one blog but want to RP with me on each one. I’m down for that.

I’m a huge lover of shipping. Seriously I am. Ship with me you cowards! But, there does have to be some chemistry between the muses, I have to be able to see that they can go down that path together. If I ship something, that doesn’t mean you have to and if you ship something doesn’t mean I will either. Don’t force anything on me but do tell me if you ship our muses. I probably do too. Plus, there isn’t just romantic ships! Platonic, familial, frienemies, all that good stuff. I love all of that and so much more!

I can do pre-established relationships (not romantically at all though (usually)) but we as muns have to discuss it first to see if the muses can even be on such terms with one another.

I am open to pretty much every kind of plot you can think of. Seriously, I am! So don’t be afraid to approach me on that either if you want a specific genre.

You are allowed to use memes as icebreakers.

You are allowed to turn asks into threads, just please repost it and if you can’t, tell me and I can do it for you.

Let your muse, be your muse. Don’t change them simply to suit the RP. If your muse is a jerk but you feel sorry for mine because they are sweet, don’t make them nicer so that you don’t feel guilty. If your muse is flirty, but mine isn’t having it, oh well. That’s how they are and my muse is more than capable of handling themselves.

I do not care if you take forever on your reply, I really don’t. As I already said, I’m bad with that myself. So don’t stress it, take your time!

You are NOT just a number in my follower count, I promise you that. So, if we’re mutuals, even if it takes me forever, eventually I will reach out to you. Most likely with a meme. However, I will say this much, I generally give a limit of three asks to start an interaction. This means I the first two icebreaker memes I send in that aren’t answered will be given the benefit of the doubt by thinking maybe you didn’t get them or the ask didn’t work or maybe the muse wasn’t good. Each one I send will likely contain a different muse and scenario to give you options. But after three asks are sent to try and break the ice between us and none are answered, I will assume you don’t have an interest in rping with me and will soft block because I don’t see a point in us being mutuals if you’re not interested in rping.

There will be times when I drop threads, there will be times that I don’t answer an ask you sent in, and times that I’m really not good at talking to others ooc. This is nothing against you. Generally, I really only don’t answer asks that just won’t work with anyone (rarely, is what I am saying). If I do these, we can always start a new thread, you can always send another ask which I will be more than likely to answer and if I don’t respond via chat or discord, just give me some time. I’m probably simply not up to it yet but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk with you.

Feel free to specify a muse if there really is one you’re interested in, I swear you won’t upset me because you like this particular muse. If anything, that makes it much easier for me. But, if you’re not sure who to use, let me know and I’ll try to help you.

My activity is sporadic like crazy, I ask that you have patience with me on this.

My page is hella disorganized but I’m chipping away at that bit by bit (ignore the fact that I’ve had this particular blog for eight months now and I’m still trying to get it together)

I do not care about that whole thing that’s going around about reblogging from the source, I truly don’t and it’s even in my rules that the likelihood of me actually doing that isn’t high.

I am private. I am selective. And I most certainly am mutuals only. If I haven’t followed you back yet, please do not jump into my IM’s asking about doing things. That will make me either want to block you or not even give your page a chance. If I don’t follow you back for whatever reason, it’s nothing against you, really. Could be a great deal many reasons as to why.

I am multiship (for the most part because some muses are selective few ship, it says it in their information if they are) but certain muses have their main verse and then they also have their canon verse which is not the same. If for any reason, you wish to be involved in their canon verse, it would have to be thoroughly discussed between us and then I’d have to discuss it with another mun who is involved with the canon verse muses.

I have a very broad range of muses from the most innocent and sweets ones to the worst of the worst. They also range from completely normal humans to vampires, lycanthropes and much much more. But having muses like this means there will likely be a lot of triggering content. I will try to tag it but if I’m being honest, I suck at it.

Will contain NSFW content as well (though certain parts of that NSFW I’m very picky about). Smut is something that will likely take place on here eventually, though not very often. I just generally prefer to do morning afters and all that good stuff.

I do crack/shit post, I do a have quite a bit of ooc posts, I do dash commentary at times too.

If you send your male muse at me, it will likely be responded with by a female muse. This is NOT for shipping purposes. This is because I’ve had a bad experience before where even though my muse was a heterosexual male and the one he was threading with was considered bisexual, they began to try and force a ship between them. Not only was the muse itself being extremely pushy but the mun was as well ooc. This also doesn’t mean that I won’t do it at all, if I know the mun isn’t like that or something along those lines then I will be okay with actually doing it.

You can bet your ass I play favorites. This means that there are certain threads I’m likely to respond to first, there are certain asks I will do quicker than others. Usually, this is because me and the other mun have that solid connection ooc and that the muses just really go well together. But don’t let that discourage you, please. That doesn’t mean I won’t rp with you, that doesn’t mean I’ll ignore you and that certainly doesn’t mean that with time you can’t become one as well.

I use icons, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Yes, I also edit my text but that doesn’t mean you have to either in order to rp with me.

My biggest peeve is not cutting your posts. I really hate having to scroll so much just to get past one post. If you don’t cut your posts, I won’t follow or if I already do then I will unfollow once it becomes an issue.

When I unfollow, I do it through soft block because, as I’ve said, you are not just a number in my follower count and I think it’s only fair. So, if I unfollow you and didn’t use this method, that means I personally didn’t unfollow you. It must have been a glitch on tumblr or something and you’re welcome to say something to me.

I generally rp at any length but the longer the reply is the longer it takes for me to do it so I usually try to keep it at 2-3 paragraphs.

I do currently have 39 muses and more are going to come. That’s just how I am. The world in which my muses are in has a lot of possibilities and connections that I like to explore and develop more and as I do, muses come out and sometimes it will be just one and others it can be multiple. Really depends but if you don’t like blogs with too many muses that I wouldn’t follow me.

More will be added as I go and this will be reposted throughout my time here. Thank you for your patience and taking the time to read this! I truly do appreciate it!

[botslayer]

Thunder Cats Roar: The hatred of Cal Arts coming to a head because...?

Okay, We all, at this point, know about “Thundercats: Roar” Which has earned the Ire of Many MANY fans of the original. Generally because of the style of not only animation but genre the show seems to be going for. So, I want to give my Two Cents, cool? Cool.  So what’s the problem with the Style of animation? A lot of people use, what is basically a catchall term, “CalArts Style.” For those not familiar, CalArts is the short version of “California Institute of Arts.” This is basically an Art School with quite a few people who have shows these days. Now, why is this a problem? Well for starters, The style most people have walking out of there is similar, I think we’ve all seen the following quasi-meme. 

Yeah, Weird, isn’t it? Now, Here is ThunderCats Roar:

It’s got a lot of color, if nothing else. Kinda looks actiony, I guess. But Otherwise, it kinda looks ugly and fairly sloppy. The characters look more fat than muscular, And yes, I’m well aware that Proper Muscle, not just from bodybuilding, like actually going out and getting super fit, makes you look more broad, But the anatomy doesn't QUITE sell that.  Compare that image, while you’re at it, to shit from the original show or from the 2011 Reboot. 

The original show, while the designs on the kids were funky in all the wrong ways, Had detail and knew how to get across the musculature of its characters, I wouldn’t want to run across ANY of these people in a dark alley, I’d probably get killed. Especially Panthro, Spikey bastich. Buuuut, one look at Lion-O if no one else, and I get this vibe, Like “He means no harm” He’s a guardian, a protector. And on top of all of that, they pulled off fairly fluid animation despite the time frame. 

Mind you, the latter is a low res pic, But the point stands that the character Designs in the 2011 reboot were actually pleasing to the human eye. I could tell all of these people, just from a glance, while fairly fit and probably deadly if they wanted to be, are actually decent people, and the kids don’t look too weird anymore. This show had more heart in these two frames it almost seems, than that poster up above. So that’s actually part of the reason this new direction pisses people off, we HAD a reboot that was actually well drawn and had heart, the only reason it failed was because Cartoon Network didn’t know how/want to Market it and put in a bad time slot as either an ill-fated boast or out of genuine stupidity, no one knows.  Now, I by no means “Grew up” with either show, but I enjoyed the 2011 series during its run and the original is still a legacy series, It had a lot of people that loved it to death, it is, to this day, the subject of one of the longest-running “Who would win” debates, “Lion-O or He-Man?” The second series looked better than the original, and now Roar is happening, with what most consider to be an inferior style to the show from (At present) seven years ago. 

This isn’t just fanboys hating reboots, it’s people spurned by an idiot network that then re-uses a licence they fucked up on the first go. And let’s actually talk about the “Cal Arts Style” thing for a minute? Okay? I don’t hate the Cal Arts Style. It’s just a lot of shows are using it right now. Compare it to back in the day, Courage the cowardly dog, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, etc. Most of the shows then looked different. Cal arts has become somewhat ubiquitous as a style, and let’s talk about the shows that use it, namely the four listed above in the meme.

The Amazing World Of Gumball:

The Watersons, the main family from the Amazing World of Gumball. 

Tina And Bobert, side characters from the same show. Do you see how the styles are different from the Watersons? That’s one thing that helps Gumball stand out, all the different styles working with each other, all of them pretty well animated and the show is still good from a writing stand point. 

Gravity Falls:

Gravity falls has (Mostly) good characters, good fluid animation, an interesting setup, and fairly unique monsters and plots. Those things all help it stand out.  Star vs the forces of Evil: 

Star is like Gravity falls, the characters and unique monsters keep it afloat, you also have aspects IN THE NAME that are evocative of Older Cartoons, the idea that our heroes are always justified. “Well those guys are evil, aren’t they?” And then later it gets twisted on its head. Star is a good show for those reasons and more, you feel me? But let’s get on to my favorite one form that little example list:  Steven Universe: 

I want to make something clear, I LIKE STEVEN UNIVERSE! The music is captivating, The animation is usually pretty awesome, the characters are great, the designs are fairly memorable, the world it built is at a Transformers level of top-notch... Until the most recent twist. Like whoever wrote that was on something. Also, just to air my grievances, the animation fuck ups are numerous. Don’t blindly be like “Well that’s just hate.” “You aren’t an Animator” Etc. It’s not hate, it is a COMMON criticism of the show, and I may not be an animator, but I’m not an actor either and I can tell you when an actor screws up. Okay? The show is good but it’s flawed.

Now, What did all the shows (Save for Thundercats Roar) have in common save for the head shapes more or less?

... Give up?

THEY WERE ALL ORIGINAL. 

They built their own worlds, made their own characters, had their own thing going on. While they have slightly similar styles, the lot of them are so unique from both each other and generally what came before that it beggars belief.  And what about Thundercats: Roar? It’s appropriating an old show for no godsdamned reason. Theoretically, you sometimes do that to attract the old fan base or get attention. Transformers gets away with it because it has 1100000 reboots and separate universes and shit, whereas Thundercats Roar is the Teen Titans Go of the franchize. If nothing else, that’s how it comes across. Plus, the animation in the shows above is actually Better. Roar looks like one of those wonky sketches from MAD.  Those are my thoughts. Other shows built their own worlds, Roar looks like crap, and we lost a show that looks better than this fairly recently. Okay? That is why I HATE Roar. It has basically no spark of its own. 

[bamfcoyotetango]

Number 7, Chaleigh please. 😁

Oh gosh, this is so very late but the Muses ate the prompt and gave me this .

7. Fake Relationship AU

Hand In My Hand

Raleigh's in the middle of setting up the music for the piano when Hansen, their bartender for the night, cleared his throat behind Raleigh.

"You need help cutting the citrus?" He asked sympathetically.

All the bartenders hate citrus and Raleigh's pretty good with a knife.

The only problem was that Hansen didn't ask for help.

Like... Ever.

"Yeah, actually. I, err, I've been meanin' t' talk with you." Hansen relented, his broad shoulders slumping in a show of emotion Raleigh didn't expect.

"Oh?" Raleigh arranged the music and left the wide performance platform, careful to step over the wires the sound crew hid under the rich red carpet. "Any reason in particular?"

The other man handed over a knife, a cutting board and a bag of mixed citrus. "Look, I know I'm not... the most social."

Raleigh snorted at that, "No shit."

"Oi, fuck off yeah? I'm trying here." Hansen growled defensively before he sighed. "I've got a problem."

"... And you think I can fix it?" He countered dryly as he sliced the fruits into multi-colored discs. "I  know I'm the bar's handyman and all but uh, I normally don't fix people as a rule."

"Yes." The blunt honesty has Raleigh setting down his knife and turning to face Hansen. "Look, you're pretty enough that my Dad might be fooled inta thinkin' we're datin', alright? He knows I don't swing too often the other way and Mako's like my sister so I can't ask her an' the rest of the bartenders-"

Raleigh held up a hand and mulled it over, parsing out the basics of it in under two minutes. It wasn't exactly a secret that Raleigh appreciated multiple types of people. Hansen might've been a surly jerk but damn if he didn't fill out his bar polo shirt nicely. "You want me to date you... because your Dad is a hard ass?"

"Look, he's coming to visit in a few months an' he keeps a hairy eyeball on my social media, yeah? He knows when I'm not datin' and he gets all sad an' mopey like he didn't do a job 'n a half raising me. My old man wants to see me happy. So... are you in or what?" Hansen grumbled even as he rubbed at his nose.

Raleigh thought of his Maman, in remission, being overjoyed that her middle child finally found someone.

"I'll make you a deal," He allowed carefully, "if this is for your Dad, then it's also gotta be for my Maman. She's in remission and now she's tryin' to meddle in my love-life. You break her heart and I'll break your face. I'll pretend to date your ass for her sake if nothing else."

"What about...?"

Raleigh gritted his teeth and sucked in a calming breath. "Let's just say he's a bastard."

"... Oh. I guess we need to outline what's not okay to touch as a topic." Hansen pointed out.

"Yeah, might be a good idea." He admitted.

"For starters, don't ask about Mum and I won't ask about the rat bastard."

"Got it."

"By the way... M' name's Chuck." Chuck held out his hand and Raleigh shook it.

"Raleigh."

Chuck, for all of his asshole tendencies, was pretty decent with the whole dating thing.

Once Raleigh got past the scowl and the snark and the Alaskan-sized chip on his shoulder, that is.

He'd even bothered to ask Raleigh for his favorite flower (sunflowers) and had presented them with a scowl at the start of their next 'date'.

Somewhere along the way, dating Chuck had become less obligation and started to feel like... something Raleigh shouldn't enjoy as much as he did.

He shouldn't enjoy the under-the-breath quips that were so sarcastic that Raleigh actually cracked up laughing when he caught them.

He shouldn't sneak glances when Chuck closed his eyes and reveled in the wind coming off of the sea.

He shouldn't save a sunflower from each bouquet Chuck "remembered" to bring.

Raleigh spun a thick stem between his fingers and quietly admitted to himself that if he fell in love with Chuck, it might not be so bad.

It wasn't like the ginger bastard would ever return his feelings after all.

Raleigh was one of, it turned out, a lucky three people who had Chuck's phone number.

""So, Chuck hasn't called in and I have it on good authority that you're dating. I got the Kaidonovskies to cover his shift but could you do us all a huge favor and go check on him?"" Sergio asked. ""He's never done this before so I'm a little worried.""

"I'm on it, Serg. I'll let you know what's up, okay?" Raleigh hummed and then scrubbed a hand down his face as he texted Chuck.

  Raleigh: Where r u?

It took near five minutes for Chuck to respond, which was way longer than his usual five seconds.

  Chuck: m sick

  Chuck: don't come over

  Chuck: if I die u get my dog

He snorted, texting as he grabbed his jacket, his scarf and his washable surgical mask Mako had given him for his birthday.

  Raleigh: drama llama

Raleigh: Ur not gonna die

  Raleigh: I'm coming over

Chuck appeared to rouse at that.

  Chuck: NO

If Chuck thought he could out-stubborn Raleigh, he had another thing coming.

  Raleigh: YES

  Raleigh: I'm making you homemade soup

Raleigh: u giant wiener

Chuck didn't respond for several moments as if shocked that Raleigh would do something that nice.

Chuck: U need my address

  Chuck: Or did u expect to kno

  Chuck: where I live, u wanker

He did laugh at that, midway through testing a tomato with his fingers.

  Raleigh: I could ask Mako

  Raleigh: She'll provide the info

  Raleigh: with half the hassle that

  Raleigh: Ur giving me

  Raleigh: btw

  Raleigh: R u allergic to tomato?

His phone buzzed with the response as Raleigh finished grocery shopping.

  Chuck: no, not allergic to tomato

  Chuck: pick up some tissue

As though he sensed he was being a little rude, he followed it with another text.

  Chuck: ... pls?

Raleigh shook his head, flicked on his voice-to-text app and said, "Already on it period. Send."

Chuck sent the address and Raleigh pulled over into a gas station to input the address. He paused, contemplated labeling it 'U Grumpy Bastard' and then grinned at it occurred to him.

Chuck's address ended up as 'My Dumbass

An English bulldog sat in his way, Raleigh's arms aching as the grocery bags creaked.

"Uh, hi, pup. Could you do me a favor—"

"Max, get." Chuck rasped, poking his dog with his socked foot to let Raleigh into his apartment.

He toed off his boots out of habit and nudged them into a vaguely neat pile near the door.

Raleigh set all the bags down, found the trash can and the fridge and got to work.

By the time the tomato soup was bubbling on the stove, Chuck had been served eucalyptus tea, meds and tissues, in that order.

Raleigh absently texted Sergio as he watched his soup, keeping half an eye on a bemused and snuffling Chuck. He reigned in the urge to kiss the frown off of Chuck's face.

Chuck frowned and then wrote on the whiteboard Raleigh had brought from home.

'What? Do I have something in my face?'

"Nah. Just an old habit from when my sister was sick. She'd sneak off the couch and then get me sick cause she likes to cuddle when she's loopy on meds." He deflected as he poked at the soup.

The squeak of the marker was proceeded by Chuck gathering his blanket nest and sitting on the tall chair next to the counter.

'U have siblings?'

"Mm, two. Yancy's the oldest and Jazzy's the youngest. I'm the middle kiddo."

'Why tomato soup?'

"I'll have you know that Maman and my Mémé would skin me alive if I fed you anything else aside from this. It's supposed to be loaded with nutrients and good protein to help you get better." He countered with a raised brow.

'Meme??'

"French for Grandma. Maman is Mom." Raleigh explained. He pulled out the bacon, frowned and asked, "Where's your frying pan?"

'Under the stove.'

"... You don't cook, clearly, cause otherwise you'd know that that's the broiler, not a drawer. Also, these are really nice pans and it's a shame they don't get used more often." He talked mostly to himself but Chuck blew a raspberry from behind the covers. "It's true."

'Don't b rude. It's my space u know.'

"Supposed to be our space, remember? Shit, should I move in?" Raleigh asked and Chuck shook his head hard enough to negate that.

'NO.'

Chuck wrote quickly and then thrust it out as Raleigh patted the bacon to get the excess grease off.

'I'm already regretting asking u, alright? The last thing I need is to see u in ur undies. I bet u wear whities.'

"Hey! I wear boxer briefs, you jerk. Tightey-whities are soooo last season. Also, Jazz would murder me for that fashion crime. She's majoring in it and if I'm related to her, I'm gonna not cause her pain by dressing, and I quote, 'like a fisherman with no sense'. She's already tried to kill my sweaters, okay?" Raleigh grumbled as he dumped most of the bacon into the soup.

'Wait. Seriously?'

"Yeah, seriously."

'Ur jumpers r how I know it's u. No one else at the bar wears them like u do.' If Raleigh tilted it right, it might've been a compliment but Chuck didn't do those.

"Uhhhh, thanks, I think. Now, eat your soup and rest some more, alright?" Raleigh served up a decent bowl that would go down well with Chuck and reserved the rest of the soup in the pot, closing it with a lid. "Don't even think about ruining my soup by sticking it in the microwave. Heat it up on the stove on low." He looked at Max. "Do I need to take Max for a poop?"

'Probably. His lead's in the hall.'

Raleigh grabbed the red leash and Max was suddenly at his feet, butt wagging furiously.

He barely had room to tug on his boots.

"I'll be back! Finish that soup, Chuck!" The door closed with a clunk behind him. He laughed when Max tugged him down the street, barely giving him time to shrug on his jacket and wrap his scarf up the right way.

"Is that Max I hear?" Max boofed and somehow his butt wiggled even harder. "It is~" An older woman was sitting on the porch, her hands cradling a warm drink with a blanket in her lap. "Oh! You're not Chuck!"

"Ahh, no. He's sick," Raleigh mentioned with a shrug, his muscles straining as Max tugged on the leash in this woman's direction. "Max, pas maintenant*." He chided.

"You must be that friend of his."

"... Umm," Raleigh's face heated up as he thought about Chuck, who was probably miserably eating his soup and scrubbed at the back of his neck.

"Oh, I see. How long?" Her confidential tone made Raleigh want to combust from embarassment.

"Coupla months," he choked out, "Gotta go, ma'am, Max is, umm..."

"Go on. Chuck's got himself a keeper! You tell him Mrs. Gage said so, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am." Raleigh agreed as Max tugged on the leash again.

"Chuck, I swear to God that you've got the nosiest neighbors—" Raleigh froze at the sight of a man who could only be Chuck's Dad.

He let Max off the leash on autopilot after he closed the door, hanging it up like he'd seen it earlier. Raleigh kicked off his boots again and set them against the foyer frame, this time a great deal neater than they'd been before.

"You must be Raleigh," the man said as though he hadn't thrown their whole plan out of wack. "I'm Herc."

"Pleasure to meet you, sir." He let his manners take over, a smile on his face as he shook the offered hand. "Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee?"

'Dad doesn't do tea.' When the whiteboard popped up from the couch, it seemed Chuck had retreated back with his blanket nest.

"Mm, coffee then?" Raleigh hummed as Herc looked between them. "Milk? Creamer?"

"Creamer, if you don't mind."

He busied himself preparing two cups of coffee and then dug into the supplies he'd organized on the counter, muttering to himself in Korean as he read the instructions for the citron tea he'd brought over.

"Coffee 'n creamer for us, tea for Chuck. Don't make that face. It's gonna feel nice and it's yuzu, vaguely lemony with honey." He sat next to Chuck, reaching to adjust the blankets and handing over the tea.

'Ur gonna get sick.'

"Mmm, yeah, probably. Do I look like I mind?" Raleigh pointed out as he gently pecked Chuck on the lips. Chuck grumbled wordlessly but snuggled closer as he drank his tea. He made a noise of surprise at the taste and looked at Raleigh with a wordless question. "So-Yi suggested it when I dropped by the bar. Y'know, half of them thought you got in a fight or dropped off the face of the planet. Being sick never even occurred to them."

'Liar.'

"No, that's what you get when literally three people have your number, you dumbass." He bickered back, looking up when a muffled laugh brought him back to their current situation.

Right.

Chuck's Dad.

"Y'know, I almost didn't believe my son when he said he was dating someone. He works hard and doesn't remember to leave time for himself but I can see he's in good hands with you." The pride Herc had for his son was clear in nearly every word he spoke.

"Yeah, well I could've said the same a while back. Chuck's sweet under like, fifteen layers of asshole, but you gotta have enough patience for the layers." Raleigh ribbed Chuck gently, letting himself touch instead of shying away from Chuck. They had to make this convincing—At least that was how he justified it to himself. "Mmm, you've got a fever." He told Chuck as he brushed the damp ginger hair away from Chuck's forehead.

'No shit, u wanker. What r u doing?'

Raleigh leaned in close and whispered his answer, "I'm being your boyfriend, hell practically the perfect one. The least your dumbass could do is play along, right?"

Chuck huffed at that and leaned into the casual touch. 'whatever. R we still doing that ice thing?'

"Like I'm gonna miss the chance to see you fall on your ass?" Raleigh teased. "We'll just have to reschedule for when you're better."

"I'll leave you two to be cutesy." Herc chuckled and Raleigh nearly face palmed.

They were totally—"Oh God, I'm the worst host-"

'Sorry Dad.'

"Don't be sorry. You two remind me of a better time." Herc only smiled at them and let himself out, nudging Max away from the door with his foot out of years of practice.

Raleigh practically turned the air blue with French curses before he sighed. "At least your Dad's convinced?"

"Why'd you kiss me?" Chuck's voice, as raspy as it was, caught his attention immediately.

"We're supposed to be dating. If I really was your boyfriend, I wouldn't let a cold keep me from kissing you. You were just so adorably grumpy," Raleigh replied before he caught what came out of his mouth. "I-I mean, I've gone and done it with my other relationships, y'know, so I thought you wouldn't mind—"

"Raleigh." Chuck's gaze cut off his voice faster than anything else. "Did you call me adorably grumpy?"

"No," he denied it quickly, valiantly trying to ignore how his face felt like it was on fire.

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"Raleigh, I-"

"I think I might be in love with you." He blurted and then slapped both of his hands over his mouth in shock.

Oh he was so screwed; Chuck was going to break off their agreement, break up with him even though they weren't really dating and why did that thought hurt so much?

Raleigh made to stand, one foot planted on the floor when Chuck's hand shot out and grabbed the front of his sweater.

"I thought it was hopeless," Chuck coughed before he continued hoarsely. "that there was no way in a million years that sunshine personified would ever like me enough, but you said... You said you're in love with me."

Huh. Weren't they a match made in heaven; oblivious as hell until one of them confessed.

Raleigh settled back into the blankets and whispered, "'Sunshine personified'? Really?"

"Don't you start, Rahleigh."

"Well, since we're actually dating, there is a way to shut me up."

He was going to regret it later, he knew, but the feel of Chuck's tongue in his mouth over-rode the resignation of being sick right along with his boyfriend.

Mako only laughed when Raleigh whined about being sick.

[untolikeiron-a]

WHAT DO DANNY DO 

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, andrepost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Allison OOC Contact: IMs. Discord and skype available to mutuals but i’m never on them so IMs best bet.

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

Danny’s the immortal iron fist.  He fought a dragon and now has its life force and can use it to do a bunch of things like make his fists “like unto a thing of iron”. He’s a billionaire philanthropist, the CEO of Rand Corp/Enterprises which was started by his father. He’s a Hero for Hire and a sometime Avenger.  idk i’m shit at these things.

Points of interest:

MASTER MARTIAL ARTIST: He fought a dragon with his fists.  He’s p. good. 

CHI MANIPULATION: Danny can use the chi of Shou-Lao in a variety of ways, most notably to make his fists “like unto a thing of iron” AKA the IRON FIST.  He can also use the Chi of Shou-Lao to heal himself and others, to create a hypnotic “jedi mind trick” effect, create interdimensional portals and a variety of other OP bullshit.  

BILLIONAIRE PHILANTHROPIST: Danny owns his own company and was born into beauxcoup cash moneys, which he is now making an effort to give away before he dies.  To him the only reason to keep Rand Corp open is because it’s easier to create sustainable change with the power of the mighty dollar behind it.  His goal is to die absolutely broke from having given away every penny he’s ever owned or made.

PHILOSOPHER: Danny spends a lot of time meditating and reflecting on the ways of the world.  He’s prone to wax philosophic on occasion, but generally he tries to keep it tamped down until someone asks.  

A BIG OLD DORK: All this OP talk aside he’s a serious awkward nerd so please love him he’s not good at social.

What they’ve been up to recently:

(MCU) v: you can’t even save yourselves: Following the events of the Netflix MCU shows including Iron Fist and (eventually) Defenders, Danny is teaming up with Matt Murdock, Jessica Jones and Luke Cage to stop the Hand from their dastardly plot (whatever that might be) and making friends along the way.

(616) V; hold back the storm:  Luke’s married and doing the dad thing, Misty’s with someone else; the people most important to Danny seem to have fallen away to do their own things, leaving him scrambling.  He’s thrown himself into outreach work and studying the Book of the Iron Fist, but if truth were told, he’s lonely.  He spends most of his time by himself and dives into his work.  Come be his friend.   also he’s prob about to get tapped for Elektra’s Chaste. Danny is making friends (and is already friends tbh) with many of the X-Men and the mutant community.  In more fighty news, Danny’s currently working a case of tracking down missing street people who he believes have been taken to be forced into fighting gladiator style matches.  Come help him save people.

(616 AU) v: hold my heart in your hands & (MCU AU) v: light & shadow: Honestly everything’s the same except Danny has a romantic relationship with @deathitsclf‘s Elektra Natchios.  We’re open to other people hopping into these verses so feel free to hit me up if you’re interested!

Where to find them:

Manhattan, New York. Midtown; near Times Square

Rand Corp/Industries.

K’un-Lun

Chaste HQ (Elektra’s spot) coming soon

Current open post/s

I post starter calls pretty regularly though I don’t have any up right now.  I also have a thousand memes I throw around so you can hit me up in any of those.

Anything else?:

616 & MCU Divergent: Not much but just in some of the broad strokes. Specifically in MCU, I tend to draw more from 616 and make MCU Danny more a young version of 616 Danny to a certain extent so be prepared for 616 Iron Fist lore to play a bigger part in my MCU portrayal etc. etc.

Tagged by: @tsubcsa bae lovesm e and also hates me for making me do this long thing

Tagging: idk idk @deathitsclf @pastismyown @piionic this is forever long so basically if you wanna do it do it and if you don’t wanna do it I DONT BLAME YOU

[blondepomeranian]

Ask Meme

I got tagged by @cantfakethecake, so here’s the thing.

The usual rules: Answer the questions and tag nine people to do the same.

How old are you?

25

Current job?

Dog trainer. I train dogs and I train people to train dogs. While it is still a Job, it’s been nothing short of The Best One Yet because:

it’s highly applicable to my life and interests (can use on own dogs),

I actually Have Worth to lots of people (they might not realize it right away, but on that day they realize their 7mo puppy is a hellion because they did absofuckinglutely nothing to teach it how to be “good”, HELLO, YOU RANG? IT ME, HERE TO SHOW YOU ALL THE WAYS YOU COULD HAVE DONE RIGHT BUT YOU DONE WRONG.

almost ALL the people I talk to in the biz ACTUALLY ENJOY and have a passion for learning more about it. Seriously, I have NEVER been in a workplace that is so work-positive. Most coworkers commiserate about their jobs as a way of smalltalk, but seldom have I experienced that here. I love, love, love it.

DISCOUNTED-TO-FREE LEARNING AND RUNNING AGILITY

I get to play with puppies on a regular basis. Try to come at me with anything better, I dare you.

What are you talented at?

I am really fast and explosive with it. If I’m warmed up and have a little bit of momentum, I can hit my top speed in under a second. When I was twelve I was clocked in at 19mph.

I used to have a pretty diverse set of voices I liked to utilize in my playwriting class. My crowning moment of glory was surprising my acting class (full of junior/senior theatre majors) with my rendition of a 40-year-old mulleted molester. That said, I still can’t do an English accent or Australian accent to save my life. It oscillates between the two and then turns into an Indian accent. IDEK.

What is a big goal you are working towards?

Not having to constantly fret about money??? Being considered knowledgeable enough to have people pay me to apply my knowledge in their situation? Become a dog breeder. Maybe someday be a little bit like my mentor and found a dog training business with an agility arena capable of hosting trials and classes. (ngl, if I DID go down that route, I already know the name and the founding principles of it: Pawsitive Psychological Sciences, shortened to “pawsy psy-sci”, where the focus is spreading the academic side of dog training and continuing to educate anyone with an interest, from first-time dog owners to seasoned professionals. Relatedly: I have an inch of regret for not taking a class on entrepreneur-ism my senior year of college, even if it did start at 8am.)

What’s your aesthetic?

Ugh, I’m such a mess, don’t even ask me this question. It really depends on the day and what I’m doing. I’m all over the place and I hate it.

Do you collect anything?

Physical copies of books? Not to an obsessive extent, but if I read it and I like it, you bet your ass it’s on my bookshelf(s). 

A topic you always talk about?

Dogs. Psychology. Psychology as it relates to dogs. I’m a hit at parties, I assure you.

Pet peeves?

When my hands are sticky, dry, wet, slick, cold... As for other people, though? Unqualified, unthinking, broad generalizations said in complete seriousness or in a moment of negative emotion. (ie. when the election happened, my fiance was like, “I’m never buying anything American ever again. They can count me and my money out, not when the people elect someone like this.” like... yeah, okay, coming from the guy who he and his family have N E V E R bought a non-American car, for starters. Or people who marvel at their, like, yorkie-poo like, “I really think my dog is one of the smartest dogs out there.” ...you keep telling yourself that, honey. Literally nothing I can say will end this conversation well.)

Good advice?

education is GREAT. You should make yourself as well educated, knowledgeable, and wise as you possibly can. Institutional higher education, or a lack thereof, however, is not the end-all-be-all of your life. Keep chasing, but don’t let your shortcomings shackle you at the ankles.

Keep your mind open. I cannot think of anything worse than a closed mind. You may think you understand how it works, but always at least acknowledge that that is what you believe in the moment and that you could be wrong.

Along those lines, being wrong is OKAY. In fact, being unafraid to make some mistakes and learning how to handle the fallout can be one of the most freeing sensations you’ll ever experience. You have so much to learn from what you don’t know, and you won’t know that you don’t know it without doing something wrong here and there.

Recommend three songs?

Fireworks by Fall Out Boy Battle Cry by Imagine Dragons This one.

Tagging: whoever wants to do this.

[funnythingshere0-blog]

Funny memes about work

New Post has been published on http://funnythingshere.xyz/funny-memes-about-work/

Funny memes about work

Humor knows no limits when it comes to Kenyans, who are among the most active social media users in Africa. A simple situation can turn into a trending topic in just an instant in the form of an edited or unedited picture with a few words explaining the situation. The first part of our compilation contains funny memes for Monday while the remaining part contains funny memes for Friday or leaving work. This post highlights some funny memes to make your day. Notably, the funny Swahili memes have descriptions below them to aid non-native Swahili speakers.

Source: GQ

Here are some Kenyan funny memes to add a smile to your face on a busy day

Kamba word of the day

Kenya has 43 tribes each with a different culture and language. However, Swahili is the national language in the country. Even as education standards are raised by the day, most people from these different tribes still can’t shake the influence their mother-tongue has on their Swahili. The funniest thing about this meme is the accuracy with which the Kamba accent is used in the sentence, which loosely translates to ‘my friend, have you seen my pencil or my ruler.’

READ ALSO: Very funny Swahili quotes and images

The letters ‘r’ and ‘l’ might get mixed up whenever you’re having a conversation with a Kamba. The funny part is sometimes they know it and do it to crack their friends up.

Let me call you

Acha nikupigie na line ya Orange, Safaricom ni ya Mpesa tu

Translates to ‘let me call you with my Orange line, I only use Safaricom for Mpesa.’ Safaricom is arguably the biggest telecommunications company in the country. Their broad range of services are used by many Kenyans who have at times expressed their disappointments regarding the company’s policy on said services. As such, the competition has lowered their prices to sway the Kenyan market in their direction.

Kenyans have acknowledged this change and even bought sim-cards from other companies. Seeing how the price of making calls is lower with other networks as opposed to Safaricom, Kenyans use this phrase as an excuse to use the former.

Trouble with the HR

Translate to ‘when you hear the HR calling you to their office, and you studied at Nairobi Aviation.’ There are very many cases of fake university documents throughout the world, leave alone Kenya. Nairobi Aviation was in the news a while back for issuing certificates illegally. Kenyans were swift to create funny memes for work to cheer up colleagues and put fear in others.

Funny memes work on any day when it comes to improving your mood at the office. The picture above is among the best funny memes for Monday.

Hand the phone over to the snake

Hello Aunty Jane, nitumie 3k nipeleke mtoto hospitali ameumwa na nyoka.

Me: Pea nyoka iyo simu

Translates to, ‘Aunt Jane please send me some airtime (credit) right now so I can call the boda-boda (motorbike) guy to help me take the child to the hospital because she has been bitten by a snake.’ To which Aunt Jane replies, ‘Hand the phone over to the snake.’ This hilarious joke represents the untrusting nature of most Kenyans living in the city.

However, it also expresses some of the lengths other Kenyans will go to just to extort some money from their relatives. I’m sure you know quite a few more.

St. Andrew’s Turi

Translates to, ‘When you take your child to St. Andrew’s Turi, the roles will change. They will be the ones bringing you food from the school.’ Students from primary and secondary schools in Kenya are often visited by their parents from home who bring some home cooked meals if the school allows it. However, not all students need food from home.

This picture is among the funny memes 2018 has to offer Kenyans after the revelation regarding the menu at the expensive institution- St. Andrew’s Turi. Kenyans flocked social media with all types of reactions, but perhaps this one is the funniest.

Family gathering

Translates to, ‘When you see your aunt counting people at the family gathering using her lips, know the chapatis are not enough.’ Chapatis are a popular diet in Kenya as well as other parts of the globe. However, not long ago, many people from the rural areas could not afford wheat flour (not to mean they lacked other nutritious foods.’ As such, people ate chapatis on special occasions, and when they were enough, your aunty would not emerge from the kitchen and start counting heads.

However, if the mathematics didn’t add up in the kitchen, she would appear and start counting with her lips.

What’s the time?

Translates to, ‘Them: What’s the time? Me: Do you want to crow?’ When it comes to funny sarcastic memes, there are only a few countries that can outdo Kenya. In the African culture, cocks were one of the best ways to tell time. Kenyans are used to crowing considering most of them have visited the rural areas or even seen a live chicken in the market.

Some have even traveled with these birds and are familiar with a cock’s crow. The sarcasm in the meme makes it hilarious.

No brains

Source: Twitter

Translates to, ‘you’re protecting your head yet there are no brains inside.’ Leave it to some people to escalate a simple situation into a disaster. While the woman in the picture is exercising her democratic right to protest social injustices, she is also well aware of the volatile nature of the Kenyan police, especially during riots.

She might be saying something completely unrelated to the caption, but her body language matches the description to the last detail. When there is no cause for alarm, Kenyans will say all kinds of petty things to provoke a reaction. However, I bet she said something funnier.

No trust for Kamba people

Translates to, ‘When a Kamba girl tells you to send her transport to come for a visit then you remember Kalonzo’s behavior.’ Kalonzo Musyoka is a renowned Kenyan politician and a focal part of the opposition under NASA. However, the veteran politician is known to be always keen for an opportunity to play both sides of the fence thus earning the nickname ‘watermelon.’ Even recently, Kalonzo failed to attend his principal’s swearing-in alongside other NASA co-principals citing circumstances beyond their comprehension and control.

Seeing as he represents the Kamba people, most Kenyans associated his indecisive nature with his tribe and even made funny memes such as the one above.

African mum

The Swahili part translates to, ‘What is that on your WhatsApp?’ The smirk on the woman’s face is enough to describe the reaction every African mother gives when looking at their child’s profile picture. What most teens might call fashion, or a decent pose might be ‘devilish’ and ‘unethical’ to their Kenyan parents.

While in some instances the parent is right, they get it wrong on other occasions but still wear that reprimanding face. Old-school African mothers would love it if their daughters dressed like Muslims.

Breaking the thermos

Translates to, ‘When Luhyas are at a meeting then the tea girl drops the thermos.’ The Luhya are an ethnic group of Bantu origin mostly located in Western Kenya. Apart from their funny accent, Luhyas are known for their deep love for tea and Ugali (cornmeal mush). This one might be among the best funny memes Kenya has seen in 2018 based on the reaction of the pictured men, who are coincidentally from the Luhya tribe.

Honorable Wetangula, former Attorney General Amos Wako, and the Kenyan citizens behind them were following court proceedings, but their facial expression is priceless with the caption in mind.

Mutura

Translates to, ‘The way people eagerly await for the Mutura to be served at the Mutura stand.’ The Kenyan politicians in this picture were probably praying, but once again it’s their body language that makes this meme hilarious. When it comes to looking at funny memes leaving work is arguably the next thing almost all employees do.

However, most of them congregate at the Mutura (blood sausage) stand for a bite before heading home or to the restaurant for supper. This meme defines a habit most Kenyan employees can’t seem to shake.

Bahati Tena (Again)

Bahati is among the biggest gospel artists in Kenya at the moment, and very few promoters can afford the musician. Kenyans are big fans of the soft-spoken musician and have noticed his knack to instill a lot of emotion in his videos. While some of his songs are very sad and automatically create an emotional response, Kenyans have accused the singer of sometimes overdoing it for performance purposes.

The starter pack above represents all that you need in case you want to feature in the singer’s next music video. The emphasis is on the white attire and free-flowing tears.

Uhuru funny memes last day of work versus the first

President Uhuru Kenyatta is a man of many faces. However, he uses them well as per the occasion. Similarly, most Kenyans have the same feeling as almost everyone else in the globe when it comes to the last and first days of the week when working. Monday is often dull and filled with weekend hangovers for most Kenyan employees.

However, Friday, being the last day of the week for most people, is the day when everything work-related is dropped and a happy weekend mood is adopted, as shown by the president’s facial expression.

Kenya Vs Uganda

Kenyans are arguably the fiercest competition any opposing country can face when it comes to social media wars. The infamous ‘SomeoneTellCNN’ appeared in over 100,000 tweets accompanied by funny memes. Kenyans on social media have also been at war with other countries such as South Africa and Nigeria often comparing what the country has to offer with their rivals.

The comparison between the Kenyan politician and his Ugandan counterpart might be a little harsh, but it’s hilarious nonetheless. When it comes to showing their claws on social media, Kenyans often morph into the lions and lionesses found in the country’s game reserves and parks.

Sarcastic butcher

Translates to, me: ‘I don’t want any fat on my meat.’ Butcher, ‘Why should you leave it with me, to apply on my body?’ Despite having a firm understanding of what steak means, some Kenyans still ask the butcher to remove the bones from their meat. However, the thing most Kenyans want to be omitted from their purchase is fat.

Not all butcheries have the best meat. However, if the butcher is not a strong-minded or smart person, Kenyans will buy steak or fatless meat for the price of its regular counterpart and leave the rest at the butchery.

Politicians versus witchdoctors

Source: Twitter

Translates to, ‘Politicians, please remove your posters to create space for the witchdoctors.’ This image is among funny African memes meant to get you in touch with your origins. Ask anybody from Kenya on the quickest way to a witchdoctor, and they will direct you to a poster on an electricity pole.

While not many Kenyans consult witchdoctors, their posters are in almost every corner, and after the recent disruption by politicians during campaigns, Kenyan citizens are only right to ask for normalcy.

Questions properly answered

Translates to, ‘Me: How many (much) to town? Conductor: ‘There is only one town.’ The word ‘ngapi’ is Swahili for how much or how many. Kenyan public vehicles, popularly known as matatus, mat, mathree, or nganya, are popular for their flamboyance, speed, and even overlapping when in traffic, just to get their customers in or out of town on time.

Some of their operators can offer very rude remarks to witty customers such as the one in the meme above. In some occasions, the matatu operator might just be having a bad day. Either way, you don’t want to be the ‘smart’ guy in that altercation.

Njugush on dating

Dating siku hizi ni kama kazi ya mjengo, kidogo kidogo tu unaskia umeambiwa usikam kesho

Source: YouTube

Timothy Njuguna is a Kenyan comedian popularly known as Njugush. In the meme above, his body language is accompanied by a caption that loosely translates to, ‘Dating these days is similar to construction work. One small mistake and you’re told not to report to work the following day.’ When someone mentions the word memes funny is the expression most people have on their faces.

However, while this meme might be one of the most hilarious on our list, it also shows the misguided path relationships have adopted in the minds of some of the young people in the country.

Lazybones slogan

The caption translates to, ‘Go ahead and build the nation, I’ll do the painting.’ The world is filled with all kinds of people. Technology has made it possible to work at different times of the day and still make enough money to sustain one’s ideal lifestyle. However, there are those that are naturally lazy and always seek a handout. This image is among the best and all-time funny memes about work to date.

This meme can also be used sarcastically on people who wake up very early to head to work with nothing to show for at the end of the day.

Hi there customer

Wagwan or as used here ‘waguan’ is Patois (a Jamaican dialect) for ‘what’s going on?’ This meme captures the lifestyle depicted when it comes to Eastlands, and the stereotype that it is one of the most dangerous areas in Kenya’s capital city, Nairobi. While Mr. Price might be one of the most famous clothes shopping outlets in the country, their store is not immune from attacks by local troublemakers.

However, with cameras all over the place, Mr. Price is a bad place to commit a felony. The meme is also used to represent a popular dance known as Odi characterized by tight outfits and the elongated necks.

Mourinho with a little sauce

The Akorino are a religious sect known for their turbans and ankle-length dresses. Many Kenyans are familiar with the religion, which was once recognized by one of the founding fathers of the Republic of Kenya and the first president, Jomo Kenyatta, as the people of God.

The Akorino were also considered prophets who relayed God’s message to His people. Portuguese Jose Mourinho wouldn’t have to search hard for a name if the Manchester United coach was to adopt the religion. Kenyans have already assigned one for him after adding Aromat (seasoning) to his name in a hilarious meme.

The lies Kenyans tell

SAFARICOM: Want to keep your loan limit? Pay your loan of Ksh.386.72 TODAY to avoid denial of access to M-Shwari loans and possible reduction of your loan limit.

ME: Kuna jamaa flani ako na deni yangu, nategea tu akinilipa ivo, niwasort tumalizane, ama niwapatieni number yake mmuitishe?

The meme above is a conversation between Safaricom’s customer care and one of the company’s customer. The Swahili part means, ‘there’s someone who owes me money, I’m waiting for them to pay me so I can clear that debt, or should I give you his number? You people can claim the money on my behalf.’ Kenyans are master when it comes to sarcasm.

The message might not have been delivered considering you can’t reply such SMS’s, but the screenshot made a hilarious meme. Kenyans also poke fun at Safaricom’s customer care agents online who at times have hysterical yet informative responses.

Luhya’s can eat

The caption on the picture translates to, ‘I feel sick today, let me eat this snack. I have no appetite.’ This meme is funny to most Kenyan people because it resonates with the notion that the Luhya people love their Ugali. Ask any Kenyan what Luhya’s love the most and they will tell you chicken (Ingokho) or Ugali (cornmeal mush).

While their eating habits and love for Ugali are sometimes exaggerated, what looks like a meal for three people can be considered a snack by some men from the Luhya community. Share these funny memes today with colleagues and friends to brighten up their day.

Source: Tuko.co.ke

[martechadvisor-blog]

Essential Hard and Soft Skills of an Email Marketing Manager

Email is a proven conversion and revenue driver (see box for more) – but its evolving faster than we can keep pace! The email marketing manager’s role is going from operational to strategic because email is a marketing tactic that almost every marketing team will want to leverage. But what makes CMOs want to celebrate their email marketing manager? A combination of some hard must-have skills and a few softer skills that will help get the job done better. Here they are:

Btw, are you looking out for some interesting email marketing hacks? This will help.

The hard skills

We all know we love stats and facts in this world of data-driven everything, so here are some:

Automated emails get 119% higher click rates (Source: Epsilon)

B2C marketers who connect with customers through automated emails see conversions as high as 50% (Source: eMarketer)

The number one reason for top marketers to use email marketing automation is to increase revenue (Source: Gleanster)

Companies who automate emails are 133% more likely to send messaging that coincides with the purchase cycle of their customers (Source: The Lenskold and Pedowitz Groups)

1 - Awesome knowledge of the tool!

Undoubtedly, your organization uses some sort of marketing automation tool to execute email marketing campaigns. Given that, it’s quite the fundamental to ensure that not just the email marketing manager but everyone on the email marketing team has a good grip of the tool. But the email marketing manager has to go above and beyond and be the expert on every aspect, function, trick, workaround, and secret of the email marketing tool. This is about optimizing outcomes from email marketing and driving better results with a deeper knowledge of the email marketing tool.

ProTip: As an email marketing manager, start getting under the skin of as many of the most popular email marketing tools as you can. Not only will you then become strategic to the tool selection process, you will not be restricted to working on one tool and will gift yourself mobility across the industry.

2- Analytical ability

Analytics is the modern-day marketers’ favorite term, when its not data. The ability to breakdown and make good sense of all those numbers is crucial. The skill should go beyond open and click rates and move to a deep assessment of bounces, unsubscribes, the rate at which the subscriber list is growing. Like I said all these are basics- what is beyond these basic metrics?

An email marketing manager who can really understand the right analytics and impact it could have on campaigns will help drive success. Its not just about how many people clicked or opened an email but how many conversions happened as a result of the campaign! Its also about connecting the missing pieces and dots, for instance, a low complaint and unsubscribe rate can also directly lead to better delivery rates, while improving the sender’s (yours) general reputation.

3 – Solid knowledge of databases

According to practicalecommerce.com , the most important email marketing metrics include:>

Open Rates

Click-through Rates

Unsubscribe Rates

Soft Bounces

Earnings or leads per Click or per Email

Delivery Rate

Inbox Placement

Complaint and Abuse rate

Forward rate

Churn rate

Email outcomes are only as good as the list of recipients. No one wants an email marketing manager to simply shoot out bulk emails anymore. In order to ensure better delivery, the onus lies on the email marketing manager to work around the roadblocks. So what skills help most here? For starters, the ability to build and maintain fresh lists. The return on email marketing is known to be fantastic, but obviously not if you have inactive subscribers.

Besides playing with ways to avoid getting emails into a recipient’s spam folder, an email marketing manager must know how to build an engaged mailing list (this does call for some broad marketing skills and a good understanding of what your target audience wants and what they do once they come to your website), ideating on ways to get more people to sign-up and lots more.

Gone are the days of only being expected to analyze open and click rates or the length of the subject line. It’s time to think beyond, to come up with faster page load tricks for instance!

4 – Knowledge of segmentation and targeting fundamentals (to deliver some great personalized content maybe!)

Why would marketers keep talking about hyper-personalization if it wasn’t that big a deal? Now that they are, this also means that the one size fits all (read: Mass email to a common subscriber list) is not going to cut it anymore. Different lists, audience segmentation will help an email marketing manager to reduce opt-out rates and (boost revenue!). Working closely with the marketing manager who can provide the basis and insights for audience segments and the targeting logic will help the email marketing manager drive best results

5 – Knowledge of testing/email hacks

An email marketing manager who has prompt answers to questions like the following will always have an edge:

-What works/ what doesn’t with email in general- the classic best practices and trends -What’s working for others/ competitors -What subject lines extract maximum responses -What content length works -What call to action works best -The optimum time to send an email -The worst time to send an email -How to best arrive at answers to the above  

Pro tip: The stronger the ability to test campaigns quickly and efficiently with the aim to optimize outcomes, the better it is for everyone!

6 – Awareness of compliance and security

Email marketers MUST keep a tab on country-specific marketing regulations. In general, email marketing that takes place within Europe is regulated at the EU level. The EU Directive requires marketers to ask for and receive explicit confirmation before receiving direct marketing material. Besides this, an opt-out or unsubscription must be available always.

These parameters differ for every region. It is definitely crucial for an email marketing manager to know which basic protocols and regulations to adhere to basis the location of their audience.

7 - Mobile-friendly email marketing - mobile optimization

Given that the highest open rate for email marketing is on mobile, the ability to maintain mobile responsive templates that display wells across screens is a key skill. More importantly, knowing the unique nuances of email marketing via mobile is certainly a differentiating skill.

8 - Interactive email marketing

Real-time engagement (including interesting quizzes, polls, surveys, trivia!) is important today. Creating stickiness through content that makes readers stay is the ultimate challenge of every (email) marketer. Interactive can also mean video email marketing- an area seeing increasing interest and GIFs, memes and other formats that drive stickiness/ shareability quotient.

The Soft skills

Proper planning, prioritizing and alignment – In most cases, an email marketing manager will be expected to manage simultaneous campaigns for multiple teams within an organization. Without some strong self-discipline, the overall execution will suffer.

Copy and creative check – If an email marketing manager doesn’t develop an eye for these, it might impact campaigns. Since this is the person who (usually) views the campaign collaterals together right before it is finally sent, a closing proof-read, formatting check, link check and more should be part of the routine to prevent minor errors.

Communication skills – The ability to give the right reports to the right stakeholders at the right time while maintaining a transparent process is important of course, but also being able to communicate effectively and discretely to various stakeholders about what works and doesn’t work in order to build overall effectiveness is a skill worth developing. Helping internal teams learn from one another is also a role the email marketing manager could bring to the fore.

Adapting to changing consumer and industry trends – Keeping abreast of latest technologies like machine learning and AI will help an email marketing manager to know what it could do to improve future campaigns.

If you are an email marketer or are contemplating a career as one, start with building on these areas – they will not just help you drive real business results but also to evangelize email marketing as a strategic tool in the marketing arsenal. Most important though - these skills will help you become the kind of EMM that CMOs will celebrate, treasure and retain!

This article was first appeared on MarTech Advisor

[teamhufflepuff17]

First nine kids all disappointments? Going for perfect ten? Here are a few important things to keep in mind as you go about conception.

For starters, for a successful conception event, it is best NOT to be using ANY form of birth control. Such things include: “the pill,” invented in the late 1950s, an IUD (Ineruteran Device, both copper and hormonal.) Diaphrams, any form of condom that is inserted or applied to an external appendage, depo shots, progestin-only mini pill, nuvaring, vasectomy, hysterectomy, cervical cap, The Sponge, perfect timing, and, in general, abstinence, although if you are truly attached to the abstinence method there are medical ways of getting around this. Our advice applies to those becoming pregnant in either a bedroom, medical, or bar bathroom setting.

In pregnancy, as with all things, it’s important to keep a balance of humors. Leading up to the conception event, and during the early gestation period, keep a careful control of the comedians and memes you expose your impressionable fetal cells to. ANY exposure to Gishwhes Mocker Tosh.0, for example, might lead your child to grow up to be a fun-hating monster. We here at Team Hufflepuff suggest a carefully curated diet of current memes (though not past their expiration date-- be careful!) and Samantha Bee. Other good humors include Trevor Noah, tumblr user officialunitedstates, memelovingbot, Jessica Williams, John Mulaney, television show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon, Hannibal Buress, Donald Glover, Bo Burnham (not including Make Happy)  and NPR show Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me. Bad humors include such things as CJ Lewis, the aforementioned Tosh.0 (Daniel Tosh), TJ Miller, and all of the CW show “Supernatural” sans season two episode 15 “Tall Tales”, which is definitely a good humor.

2b. Television is a very dicey proposition these days, so make sure that you’re creating good vibes by watching the right shows. Careful study of children named “Khaleesi” have suggested that you should avoid watching Game of Thrones if you are pregnant or trying to become so. Similarly, if there is any chance (and there is usually a chance) that your child will form to be female, it may be safest to abstain from any and all watching of “Supernatural” during pre-conception, gestation, and early life, lest the bad luck be transmitted through the internet and/or airwaves. “Wayward Sisters,” which has not yet premiered, will, we’re sure, come highly recommend. (And let us pause for a moment to let this writer scream. Okay. She’s screamed. We shall now carry on with the instructions.)

Kale (hereonout referred to as [REDACTED]): Make sure there is no [REDACTED] anywhere NEAR the conception event, as its bad energies might cause defects in the child (such as a taste for [REDACTED]) or prevent conception altogether. Make a thorough sweep of the conception area before starting the Event, and stay aware as you progress, for [REDACTED] can be wiley.

In the time leading up to the conception event, or in case of failure, in between conception attempts, always make sure that the sanitary pads used by the birth-giving partner have previously been used for great art, such as an angel, or a very small renaissance sculpture. This will help the coming fetus to develop a taste for good art, and avoid such low-brow art forms as television shows on the CW network. Shudder! Go out to Costco, Sam’s Club or your regional equivalent and stock up on at least 300 pads (in case conception attempts must be repeated over an extended period.) Build something amazing, and have the birth-giving partner pick individual supplies off the sculpture as needed. If there is more than one partner that might require such resources, start with a basic stock of 900, and build a taj mahal.

Think we’ve forgotten children one through nine? Never! They are very important during the conception event, as in, you must take careful steps to make sure they are nowhere near it, as they might scare your future fetus out of existence. We recommend sending them to a movie. Probably not The Emoji Movie, as this might make them too emotional. Try something safe like a Monty Python quote-along. However, too much Monty Python might end up rubbing off on your future fetus, and this can be dangerous. If you do not live near a movie theater, or if children eight and nine are too young for such dangerous prospects, perhaps you can shut them in the neighbor’s house. I’m sure everyone on the block loves your nine children! Bribe money can also come into play here, as i’m sure you’re sending your children off to the factory as soon as they hit five years old.

I’ve just been informed that children are not allowed to go work at the factory. Or in general. Are you sure you want ten of these things? Clearly you do if you’ve gotten this far in the list, so i shall continue, for all I want is for you to be happy, and if ten children will make you happy, then you deserve to get there.

During the conception event, be it interpersonal or medical, it’s always best to set the mood. Put on some nice screamo or norwegian death metal to scare those eggs straight! (Straight as in, into forming a fetus. We know that perfect people cannot, by definition, be heterosexual-- sorry, straights out there-- so that is not the kind of straight we mean.)

Now we’re going to assume that the conception event was successful, and there are a few cells that are going to grow into a few more cells to become a fetus to become a baby to become a child to become a cranky teenage to becoming a disillusioned adult to becoming a semi successful adult that can support you in your old age. Congratulations on your success! But don’t think that your journey is done, for there is a lot to do to make sure that number ten comes out as perfect as Lauren Cohen’s portrayal of Bela Talbot. (Thought we’d forgotten about her? We hadn’t! Although we don’t actually know if Misha watched the earlier seasons, so if he hasn’t, she was the perfect female Crowley we all deserved. She was Crowley before Crowley was Crowley. And she was better at it. Rest in Peace, Bela, we’d love to see you come back as a demon someday, who can I talk to about this? You can reach me through DM, Wayward Sisters writers.)

Make sure you’re reading the right books! Everyone knows about “what to expect when you’re expecting,” but what about what to expect when you’re hoping to expect? There the market is both more broad and far more limited. Instead, break free of conventional thought-- make sure your child knows what they’re getting into in this world by reading them such works of literature as “Davy Barry’s Complete History of the Millennium (so far),” “The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich,” and “Al Franken: Giant of the Senate” by Senator Al Franken. “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” likely won’t inspire your forming child to clean their future room, but it couldn’t hurt to try.

Food and edibles are also incredibly important. We’ve already talked about the [REDACTED], and the bad energies it contains, but what about other foods? Some have suggested that avocado toast will prevent you from owning a home, but it will do wonders for your future child, even before the conception event. Stick a slice of avocado in the toaster and turn it on high until it’s a blackened mass, and then sleep with this mass under your pillow. Make sure you wear fluffy slippers to get all the benefits that come with avocado-toast adjacent sleep.

The good vibes of avocado toast aren’t limited to sleeping-- you can also use the avocado as a pumice stone on your feet, as a back scratcher. Do squats with avocados under your armpits. All of these actions will help you absorb the good vibes of the avocado and thus transmit them to the new fetus slowly growing fingernails in your uterus.

When it comes to ingestion, there are some hard and fast rules. If it’s orange, don’t eat it. That includes carrots. That includes sweet potatoes. That includes cheez-its. That includes orange chicken. All things orange are OUT during the time preceding and for two months following the conception event. You know who probably ate a lot of orange food while she was pregnant? Mary Anne MacLeod. Are we running these jokes into the ground? Probably, but frankly, that’s the only thing we can do save cry about it. So orange is out. This includes cheese puffs. This includes doritos. This includes pumpkin, and to be safe, pumpkin spice. Sorry, it’s too orange adjacent.

However, there are other colors that are much safer! Blue food, for example. Blueberries, and…. Anything else that’s blue besides blueberries. If it’s not blue, make it bue, Percy Jackson-style. I’ve got faith in you. (But wait, you’re probably thinking. If I can mkae a Dorito blue, can I eat it during the time frame laid out in the previous bullet point? Yes, I suppose. The good blue energy will cancel out the negative orange for a net of zero, so you should eat some extra blue.)

As we all know, Green is not a creative color. How much creativity your child expresses will depend on how much green you allow them to come into contact with. If you want a non-creative child-- say, a male writer who can only write about affairs the self-insert main character is having with much younger women, to name an example that comes to mind-- then you should stuff your face with peas. If you want a child who expresses their creativity in an actually creative way, then perhaps err on the side of purples instead. Trade Granny Smith for some grapes. Figure out how to cook an eggplant.

But wait, you’re saying. Aren’t eggplants sort of yellow inside, and isn’t that orange-adjacent? Wrong, because yellow is a good color. Nice and safe. Eat a banana.

Reds are fine in small doses. Don’t overdo it on the apples. Definitely do not overdo it on the red peppers. And raspberries? Play it safe with raspberries. You wouldn’t want your kid to grow up to be Macklemore. Unless you do, in which case, rasperries are your food.

If you’re capable of hearing, sounds are very important for your cell cluster. Good music for both the conception event and time preceding it includes: Anything by Kesha, anything by Lonely Island, anything by Beyonce, anything by Halsey and select songs by Imagine Dragons. Bad music for both conception and afterwards includes anything with a piano in it that was not recorded by one of the preceding artists. Pianos are bad for kids! Just look at what Bugs Bunny and Roadrunner have wrought with them! Keytars, on the other hand, will inspire your child to great heights and also probably make them tall.

Congratulations! You’re now well on your way to having child number ten! If you’re looking for naming suggestions, going with the “ten” theme could be successful. Consider naming your child something like “decem” or “ten” or, in the puritan tradition, “please be a good one this time”. Go forth and raise decent enough offspring, you superparent, you. Make sure they’re all registered to vote as soon as possible.