inspiration saturday! 💌🎸
tagged by @prince-buck-diaz @panbuckley @monsterrae1 and @honestlydarkprincess 💗 thanks lovelies
here's a snippet and a moodboard for my exes to lovers musician buck au (i can't remember if i shared this already bc it's been months but im pretty sure i haven't)
Buck and Eddie broke up on a Tuesday night, because of course they did.
Buck had been on tour for six months at the time and turns out long distance relationships are way harder than they ever gave them credit for— not to mention the constant scrutiny and rumors they had to deal with.
Honestly, Buck doesn't blame Eddie at all for finishing things off. Eddie was always too good to be true anyway, and he deserves better than whatever Buck could ever offer. Eddie deserves happiness and he deserves being worshiped and adored… and he deserves peace. Something Buck could never give him, no matter how much he wants to.
Eddie called him after his last concert in London— it had been almost midnight for Buck but Eddie was just getting out of a shift and the sun was hitting his face in just the right way, making his skin look golden and tanned and so tempting.
But Buck had immediately known something was wrong by the way Eddie's shoulders had been tense and his lips had been pursed in a fine line.
"I can't do this anymore." Eddie had said and the wind had been knocked out of Buck in the worst way possible. "I'm sorry."
Eddie's voice had sounded controlled and the man had been avoiding eye contact like the plague. Buck had known right then and there it was over.
Admittedly, the break up has been hard and he's been heartbroken since that video call— they couldn't even do it face to face, for God's sake— and he's been spiraling more than ever.
Over a decade as a musician, doing this until he could perform an entire concert with his eyes closed, and he’d never once been as homesick as he was after that call. He'd never been nervous before a performance, but his stomach roiled now ominously. He’d been able to distract himself from the devastating blow, the memory of warm brown eyes and soft skin and a fond smile, for the last two days, pushing the tour crew and himself hard, pouring all of himself over his lyrics, writing heartbreaking songs after heart breaking songs, even booking some studio hours in whatever city he was at the time. If he stopped moving or thinking, there Eddie was, and Jesus, Buck'd fucking lost him.
His jugular ached from supporting his heart. That’s where it sat after the breakup, every minute of the day; having Eddie in his life had been so painfully sweet. So much better than Buck knew life could be.
And it ended.
Of course it did.
It always ends, Buck thinks bitterly.
The fans and the magazines and gossip sites have been speculating about the reason like crazy for months, even from way before Eddie actually broke up with him. (Buck can't help but to resent them a little bit for that.) but nothing prepared him for this.
tagging: @buddierights @alyxmastershipper @prettyboybuckley @bigfootsmom @starlingbite @hippolotamus @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress @ebdaydreamer @bekkachaos @messyhairdiaz @barbiediaz @dijkstraspath @911onabc @cowboy-buddie @cowboy-buck @spaceprincessem @transbuck @transboybuckley @thewolvesof1998 @diazblunt and whoever else wants to do it <33
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Seven Sentence Sunday
Tagged by @giddyupbuck <3333 thank you love
Me really post seven? hahaha
I wrote this scene of exes to lovers some days ago and need opinions
prev snippet
context: Buck and Eddie dated after 3x10 till 3x15 when Eddie ended their relationship for "not to fall in love" cause it would make everything not convenient on work. But after lightning he can't deny he's in love and he wants to try again and tries to wait for Buck to feel better after lightning and when Buck in 6x15 talks about Natalia Eddie thinks it's too late and tries to date Marisol but after one date he goes to Buck and tell him he loves him
He never let Buck love him how the man did, but Buck still showed it to him.
But he hates that right now Buck is not just showing that he still may love him, he also shows Eddie he hates him, showing him he’s hurt. Showing that Eddie hurt him and still does it. And Eddie wants to make it better.
He wants to put his medic hands on the wounds he created, invited under Buck’s skin, on his heart, and heal it.
Thinking about best ways to put the bandages on Buck’s heart to give Eddie time to find the way to make Buck trust him with this again, to give him chance to keep it in his hands forever, Eddie feels how Buck ends the kiss, but doesn't go more than some centimeters from their faces.
Teal meets hazel for the first time tonight.
“I hate you so much right now,” opposite to his words, Buck only squeezes his waist tighter, almost till his nails can make him bleed.
(more feelings under cut if you want)
Eddie wants to bleed. He carves all the pain and poison of the last days to go away with some dots of blood. He wants Buck to make him bleed how Eddie left him years ago with a bleeding heart.
“I thought I had stopped hoping. I thought I had finally moved on from you. Three years, Eddie, I was hoping for three years. I dated Taylor and sometimes hoped to wake up with you, not her, but all those times told myself to stop. I tried so hard all those years to move on, but I-I held on you, on pieces of you I still could have, so hard till I felt like trash, like a failure, like I wasn’t enough, but I never could stop. You always let me hold on to you, and I thought you do it for Chris, that you hold on me and let me hold on you for Chris, and you would never do it for us, for me. And when I found powers to finally feel like I moved on, like I’m ready to keep the hope about you aside, like I’m ready to think about my happiness, to put me first, you-you went and said you loved me,” Buck shakes his head from side to side, closing his mouth and clenching his jaws so tightly, “and I'm like a fool coming back after one snap of your fingers,” Buck is crying and Eddie knows he is the reason for every tear from blue eyes, knows he's the reason Buck is so hurt, but he's ready to beg for forgiveness every day, he's ready to never stop trying, he's ready to always admit when he hurt people he loves, even if he did it unintentional.
“Don't start it if you’ll get scared and break up with me again. I will stay only if you promise to never do it again. Scream at me, cry with me, cry alone, have your time to collect your thoughts and come back to me, but-but don't break up with me, promise me. Promise me, Eds, or I will go away and never get back. Not for loving you at least. I’m tired of holding on to people who don't need it. Who doesn’t ready to work with me to keep us alive, to keep magic when we need fight for it,” Buck looks at him with tears streaming down his face but with face impression showing he is determined to go away if Eddie is not going to be on one page right now, ready to protect his heart and fight for himself.
And Eddie loves him for finally putting himself first, even above Eddie’s feelings.
“I promise, Evan. I promise I'm done running from my feelings. I'm done running from problems. But most importantly I'm done running from happiness. I'm ready to admire all the magic around us when it’s so easy and work for it and our love when we should if it's with you,” Eddie joins their foreheads. “I want to love you when I can, to never feel how I felt after lightning. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone, and I want to love you today and tomorrow and all next days like the day before and only more, not just hope for the possible tomorrow to start. I want to start today,”
Tagging: @diazblunt @alyxmastershipper @lover-of-mine @wikiangela @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @pirrusstuff @fatedking @911onabc @bekkachaos @bigfootsmom @housewifebuck @wildlife4life @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @fortheloveofbuddie @forthewolves @eddiediaztho @watchyourbuck @transbuck @transboybuckley @ladydorian05 @mandzuking17 @hippolotamus @rainbow-nerdss @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @devirnis @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @rogerzsteven @buddierights @cowboy-buddie
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Random thoughts about Dead Friend Forever episode 9:
Damn! I was waiting for today to get this new episode and I wasn't disappointed. It was such a ride again.
▪️ First of all, we need to talk about Tan... or should I say New?! Of course, it wasn't exactly a surprise because many people already guessed he was Non's brother, but we just didn't know who he was until now. I guess he looked pretty bland in the first episodes and then when we got to the flashback we didn't see him yet because he wasn't among the group when they bullied Non. Who would have thought, he would lied about his age to get in school, lied to his parents about being in England and basically being the mastermind behind the revenge against the group? I thought Phee would be the mastermind because he wanted to avenge the man he loved, but he was merely a follower. Tan/New is the one who wants revenge and he won't stop until he gets to know the truth. He doesn't mind pretending to be someone else and drugging all of them just to have answers. He is kind of unhinged and it's pretty understandably because he lost everything. I felt so bad for him because he feels guilty about not being a good brother enough to Non, but also not being a good enough son when he decided to lie to his parents to continue his quest in learning the truth. He doesn't know how to cope with the loss and the grieve he feels too (he lost his all family, how can you deal with that?!). It was heartbroken to see him slowly falling into madness because of all those emotions.
▪️ This episode not only centered around Tan/New and his family but also around Phee and his complicated relationship with Jin and Non. We saw that Phee avoided Non after he caught him with cop Keng. It took him a while to cool down before deciding to find Non and discovering his disappearance. That's how he met Tan/New who knew Non and Phee had a thing. They decided to team up to find the truth after reading the script he wrote for the short movie and how different it was from the final production. In this episode, Phee looked more like a follower into Tan/New's quest. He wants to know the truth but he is also torn between this revenge and his growing feelings for Jin. Indeed, he became close to him because he noticed how Jin reacted every time they mentioned Non but it is shown he started to feel something too. Even Tan noticed it and Phee had to brush it off by saying he still loves and misses Non. It must have been hard for him. I don't think caring for Jin meant he didn't care for Non. However, it is sure Tan/New would have not like it. So Phee rejected Jin by saying they were just friends, hurting his feeling. Too bad for Jin, he also learnt at that time about the fake news (because it is fake) about Non and Keng.
▪️ I know Jin did some really bad things to Non. He never really helped him when he was bully by the others and he filmed him (even if he didn't posted online, it was still a bad move). I almost forgot but he also lied about Non, not being with them (stupid move again). The story is not trying to paint him as a saint but at the same time, you can see it is also trying to make us like him. At least, it is working with me. I still feel really bad for Non. Poor Non never deserve anything that happened to him. However, I still want Jin to be able to redeem himself in any way. He had an instant attraction to Phee the first time he saw him (which I understand because Ta Nannakun is very handsome). He felt hard for him. Phee took him to the same lake he went with Non and that's where he told Jin he only bring people he likes over there . Even if at that time they were still "friends" I think it made Jin feel like he had a chance to become boyfriends. It led to their NC scene which was fierce. They were also a little kinky (Jin, I didn't know you weren't only vanilla). Good for them! After that, Phee became distant to Jin and to avoid being hurt they stopped being close until the present time where they went to Por's house.
▪️ In the present time, Phee almost told the truth to Jin. They still have lingering feelings for each other. It seems like it is eating away Phee's mind and Jin still don't understand why they can't be more. I almost choked when he thought Phee had something with Tan. Yeah they are working together to know what your group of a****** friends did to Non, but their relationship is strictly professional, don't worry Jin. That's where Jin started to hallucinate again, still feeling deeply guilty about Non. Phee didn't get to tell him the truth. I can't wait to know how he will react and what impact it is going to have for their relationship. I believe they are supposed to be end-game, but the series surprised me a lot so the dice are not cast, yet.
▪️ Back into the present time where Top drug-induced was beating Tee up until White (long time no see precious baby!) knocked him out. At the same time, Tan is fighting against Fluke who was also drugged. Basically everyone is drugged because it was Tan's plan all along so they would reveal the truth. I laughed when Phee asked Tan/New "This is not deadly, isn't it?" and it answered "This won't kill them". Guess what Por, you're just collateral damage. Opps! Well, he won't be missed. Tan/New probably didn't anticipating his little experience with hallucinating herbs would end up this way. It shows you must really think of everything before taking things into your own hands. The plan is not going into the right direction. It worked too well. They were really scared and thought they were cursed. So, is the killer real or is it just hallucination? If it's the case... does it mean the driver is not really dead? If he is dead, does it mean Tan/New created this trap and killed him? I'm not sure Tan/New thought about really killing anyone... Otherwise how could he get his answer?
The noose is tightening as we approach the end of the series. The next episode won't come out fast enough. I already can't wait to know the rest of the story.
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Now I'm thinking ex boyfriend bakugou would have a tough time too like maybe you became friends with all his friends so you still see each other but he doesn't know how to be just a friend to you
oh absolutely !! 🥺 i — don't think he could do it, tbh LOL no matter how "amicable" the break-up could have been. even if it was something you both thought maybe should end, i think he's still sitting in your group of friends, watching you from under his lashes as he frowns at the table 🥺 and every time you smile and it's not bc of him, it's digs deep into his chest 🥺
or even if — yes, you are still friends with his friends but things are so awkward that everyone has basically been trying to keep you separated, in a way ?? like kiri and mina know that it sucks, for the both of you, so she'll invite you on nights when she knows bakugou can't come, or vice-versa. and you and bakugou both individually think !! this is fine !! it's going okay !! but then you run into each other on the off chance or the schedules get mixed up and you both just stare at each other, hearts dropping into your stomachs 🥺 and it's weird !! to not be able to go up to him and talk to him !! to tell him inane details about your day or to hear about his mom anymore 🥺
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