#lucifer give birth to charlie

[emiimagination]

New fiction ^^

Hey there ^^

I was finally able to start discovering Hazbin Hotel (not completely yet but it's getting closer ^^) and I love this universe ^^ And as an mpreg fan, I didn't miss that ^^

well I learned that it wasn't true (unfortunately…) but it inspired me to write a little fiction ^^

Yes, in French and in English because I am French ^^ and I translated my work (as I often do ^^)

Don't hesitate to give me your opinions ^^ I'd be happy to know what you think ^^

[eleajay]

Lucifer as Pink Diamond!

Yep that’s what this is!

There’s this fic on AO3 that I came across, had something along the lines of “Lucifer could be the youngest seraphim back when he was still in heaven, and because of that nobody takes him seriously and treats him like a perpetual child, kinda like Pink Diamond in Steven Universe”

And I thought, wow that actually kinda fits! So here’s this pic I drew lol

[abbey-abdominal]

I love that the joke of Lucifer giving birth to Charlie is made out to be that he’s like a male seahorse, or there’s some funny little demonic biological reason for it…. instead of just headcanoning Lucifer and Lilith to be a t4t relationship 💀

[edensexile]

"The tabloids need to get new material."

[archrries]

Lucifer is literally just a housewife. Like- he's depressed as hell cause his daughter and wife are both away doing who knows what and he's left to his own devices. That man needs to be doing something. HOUSEWIFE. He's a HOMEMAKER. He's a COOK. He's a CLEANER. He's an INVENTOR. He's a FATHER. Also (and it may be a joke but) Vivziepop did say Lucifer is the one who gave birth to Charlie 😭 so MY POINT STANDS. HOUSEWIFE. STAY AT HOME MOM. GIVE THIS MAN A HOME TO LOOK AFTER, CHILDREN TO WATCH OVER, AND SOMEONE'S SHIRT TO BUTTON UP IN THE MORNING BEFORE WORK. (Cough, Alastor)

[ghosts-u]

When Charlie was first born things had been… tense between Lucifer and heaven. While they had never directly threatened the life of his child the angels had made their displeasure at the implications of Lucifer having children known. They had never said out right for Lucifer not to have more children. But the indirect threats and the particularly Brutal extermination the year that Charlie was born was enough for him to get the message.

Still he would never let them hurt his child he loved Charlie with all his heart and no matter what he would protect his daughter.

The angels did not want Lucifer having more children, and he was content with only having one child. He knew he was not the best father for Charlie a part of him did want to have a chance to try again but he never actually thought he would get the chance.

—

Lucifer’s heart swelled as he stared at the little bundle in his arms. Lilith stood looking at the child pensively she reached over gently touching the baby's cheek and sighs. “How do you think the angels will react once they find out about her?” Lilith questioned. And Lucifer was conflicted the last thing he would ever want is for anything to happen to this child but… He stared down at the baby snuggled soundly in his arms and he could never imagine anyone hurting her.

But he knew the angels would, especially if it was to punish him. Dark thoughts started to haunt him of what would happen once they found out. They never said directly he couldn’t have more children so maybe this time they would give him a direct warning? Or most likely they would just kill his baby…or possibly even Charlie to send a message.

There was an even higher possibility of them just killing both. And though Lucifer hated him self for it for a brief moment he contemplated Just ridding him self of the problem entirely to protect Charlie from the potential risk.

Cute little eyes look up at him as the little girl opens her eyes for the first time, and in that moment Lucifer knew he could never forsake this child, his baby. “They won’t.” He says rocking the baby in his arms his eyes filled with resolve. “They won’t ever know about her.” Lilith looks at him her eyes furrowed yet words seem to leave her as just by looking at him she can tell he’s made his choice. “And your sure that’s the best option? Won’t it caused even more trouble if they find out we hid this from them?”

“We are under no obligation to report to them when we have children. If we hadn’t announced Charlie’s birth they wouldn’t have known about her existence either. She is not the heir to the throne so there is no need to officially announce her birth.” Lucifer states walking over to the window and closing the blinds. “And what about Charlie are we going to tell her?” Lilith asks. “No, she’s more than 100 years old now while I'm sure she would be happy to have a sibling it’s not like they would be growing up together. Besides you know how she is I’m sure she would protest about her sister not being officially recognized.”

Lilith approaches Lucifer and tries to take the small girl but Lucifer pulls away. “You had gotten to raise Charlotte. I-I just…I want to be a real father to her. I want to protect her I don’t want her to have to suffer in this place, I want her to have better than this…” He says with a sad smile. Lilith eyes narrow and she looks away and with a heavy sigh she turns away from the two. “Fine. That’s fair I had Charlotte you have this one…”

“Y/N”

Lilith looks back momentarily. “What?” “Y/N it’s there name.” Lucifer says looking down at Y/N as if she was the only thing in the world. Lilith holds back from grabbing the baby in his arms she knew he would never hurt the small girl. Yet she could feel her heart dropping to her stomach as she watched the two. “I…it’s a Beautiful name.” She says before walking out of the room feeling as if she was running away.

Liliths and Lucifer’s relationship had been on the decline ever since Charlie was born and with the birth of Y/N it was pretty much over. Not that Lucifer didn’t love his wife he still loved her even if now every time she looked at him he could see a hint of discussed in her eyes. Even if they had moved to separate wings of the palace and she no longer made attempts at seeing Y/N as if it pained her to see her child confined. It was fine, he still loved her and as for Y/N he would just give her twice as much love to make up for Lilith.

“Daddy, Daddy! Look it’s a giant duck!” Y/N says with excitement looking at the Duck shaped boats. Lucifer smiled at the girl patting her head he had taken her to the private amusement park LuLu world he had made for Charlie. It was her 6th birthday today and though it was difficult for him to let her leave the palace he made an exception just for this one day. After all soon she would have all the space to run around as her heart desired. “Would you like to go on the ride?” He asked adoring the wide smile that lit up on Y/Ns face. He thought it was extra adorable how the wings on her back fluttered with excitement.

He noted he would need to trim them shorter next time as she was hovering a little to high off the ground for his tastes. It pained him to trim her wings so short, he would’ve at least wanted to wait until she was a little older but her wings just grew so fast… Ah! He Caught himself in his thoughts. Soon there would be no need to trim them anymore and he could just imagine teaching his little girl how to fly.

Lucifer let Y/N run around to her hearts content going on rides or looking around it wasn’t long before she had tired her self out. “Daddy?” Y/N said gently tugging on his coattail. “Can you carry me?” She whined and he obliged picking her up letting her rest her head on his sholder gently rubbing her back. Y/N looked up at the blood red sky towards the white shining sphere surrounded by clouds.

“Daddy what’s that up in the sky? Is it a Castle?”

Lucifer chuckled at the question. “No dear it’s heaven. It looks very beautiful doesn’t it? It’s where all the angels live and pure souls live. But no matter how beautiful it may look it’s rotten inside and it rots everything it touches until it’s a shell of its self and rotten too.” he says gently holding her cheek brushing his thumb over her cheek. “And if they can’t do that they try to destroy whatever they can’t rot.” He presses his forehead to Y/Ns holding her close to him. “They would want to do the same to you. But daddy would never let that happen to you.”

Y/N looks up at him with heavy eyes fighting to stay open. “Sleep. When you wake up you won’t have to worry about heaven ever again.” With a smile he looks at Y/N rubbing her cheek as sleep finely takes her. “I won’t allow my precious baby to suffer in this place with all these filthy sinners.” He snaps his fingers a portal opening up he steps through revealing an entire galaxy, stepping onto a floating planet completely barren. But It wasn’t for long as he wills a tree to form lush green leaves and beautiful flowers sprouting the roots forming in a thick dip allowing him to place Y/N in the middle.

“You don’t need heavens false paradise when you have me. Daddy will make a paradise so large and grand you won’t even know it’s a cage.” He conjures soft blankets and pillows making sure she was comfortable. He turned to the vast empty land and cracked his hands and smirks he had a lot of work to do

[genderlessdude92]

Hi, I really love your work! If your requests are open and if it's allowed, can I request for headcanons of Vox/Val/Alastor/Lucifer with their biological baby w reader?? I'm sorry if this is weird I just die for family dynamics😭😭 like, how would they act, would they be present or neglectful, and that stuff!! Ik it's impossible to have a child in hell but HEY. ITS FICTIONAL. It's really your decision if this is super fluff or super angst, but personally I believe it would be angst because it's hell and they are really famous 😭 THANKU

AUTHOR RESPONSE: First ask but urmmmmmm OFC OFC OFC!!! I’m all in for dis req :3 I feel like i absolutely will eat up Al’s part of this post so stay tuned. Other ones are questionable because idk if it’s OOC or not but…I’m just a girl!! >.< (I’m a genderless dude as you can see from the name ^^) I’m sorry i’m not funny- These might be short btw im rushing a little bit bc i’m trying to start a multi-chapter fix yay awesome but uhhh i’m still having fun with this 💋

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AL, VOX, VAL, & LUCI WITH THEIR BIOLOGICAL CHILD

(and reader that gave birth to em somehow <3)

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PAIRINGS: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, Vox x Reader, Valentino x Fem!Reader (ALL SEPARATE)

SUMMARY: Alastor, Lucifer, Vox, and Valentino are dads now. Aw shucks. (Headcannons)

WARNINGS: MINORS DNI. Breeding kink, (obv bc Val is in here), Val mention, reader is female because they literally gave birth to them, mentions of pregnancy, birth, Valentino being a weird fuck, Valentino again, unhealthy duck obsession in Lucifer’s area, Breastfeeding, Cannibalism, physical slaps, everybody being nervous shots but Vox, really rushed, lmk if i missed anything pookie (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

please don’t steal/copy/translate my work. But thanks for liking it, though!!! (๑ᵕॢ૩ᵕॢ)*౨˚ൗ

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-Alastor is 100% nervous at first since he has to be the dad and his dad wasn’t…the best!! ^^

-But also doesn’t want to back away because, I mean, it’s kinda rude to just walk away from your creation that you INTENDED to make real.

-This gentleman’s baby was not an accident, I assure you.

-Alastor would absolutely dangle the baby off the edge of a balcony just to tease you.

-Also tried to feed the baby devil meat to make it a cannibal.

-Suprisingly worked.

-Um.

-He probably got taught to knit by Rosie so if the baby ever needs clothes he’s on it.

-Cradles the baby during his radio show hours, aw, and if the baby ever cries he immediately cuts to a quick song break.

-If both you and Alastor are like completely booked and can’t take care of the baby, he’s giving it to Rosie.

-Rosie can’t? Charlie.

-Charlie can’t? Cancelling all plans.

-He just cares for his bloodline, yeah?

-If the baby ever needs like a chewy sensory toy, he’s going to try and get one that resembles Lucifer.

-Like and apple or a snake OOO A SNAKE NVM

-Snake is better since it resembles two ppl mwuhehehe

-Alastor would be a great girl dad but in general i think he would be rlly doting to them.

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-Oh, you thought Alastor was nervous?

-Oh, you’re so funny.

-‘Cuz Lucifer is QUAKING once he finds out you’re pregnant.

-and expecting.

-…and that it’s alive and out the womb.

-Basicslly all because he wasn’t really in Charlie’s life that much.

-But you told him that this can be a second chance?

-Which made him cry more than he was before.

-Yikes.

-Feeds the baby the most fine meals to ever exist for a baby to eat, even tried to sneak in some wine in its milk bottle.

-Then earned a slap at the back of his head from yours truly.

-You.

-I see him as a helicopter parent at first, but then is just chill once they grow more older.

-But he’s like, devoting his immortal LIFE to this baby 24/7.

-The nursery is themed ducks.

-Everywhere.

-Sometimes you get dizzy when you walk in.

-He even wanted to name the baby duck.

-You slapped him again, of course.

-This man acts like a 8th grade frat boy whenever you breast feed the baby like he just scoots away gagging.

-Another slap.

IM SORRY-

-One time in bed you guys were like getting freaky or sum and then you but his nip

-“Honey…what was that?”

-“That’s just how it feels, Luci.”

-“…What?-“

-“When i breastfeed B/N.”

-“…Ew.”

-“BITCH I-“

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-Bro is so confident in being a dad.

-The first day after the baby was born he cancelled all his special guests on his show just for the baby to be the only one.

-This man is fucking insane.

-Puts this baby on his. advertisements.

-We’re talking billboards, pop-ups, etc.

-Only lets his supervisor babysit the baby when needed.

-Don’t expect Velvette or Val to even step foot near this baby without Vox in the room.

-It’s like a sibling love-hate relationship :D

-Now i wouldn’t say this baby was on purpose…most likely?

-But honestly, it might happen again because he thinks you’re hot pregnant.

-Who said that what.

-Omg who typed that???

-Fuck this is so short uhhh He like puts on child shows for the baby if they sit in his lap.

-But the baby never ever sleeps in the bed you guys share.

-not in a million years.

-Puts those shirts that look like tuxedos on the baby but they’re just printed on.

-Feeds the baby deer meat.

-Has a deer head mounted above the baby’s crib.

-Takes him deer hunting.

-Vox just needs em to learn early.

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-Valentino was “so, so careful” when you guys did it.

-and this baby was 100% and accident.

-obviously you guys couldn’t abortion because like some health reason.

-Val cried that night.

-It was kinda funny that he was crying to keeping a baby.

sorry not sorry

-When the baby is born,

-Oh god should i write that

-Uh

-He’s probably recording.

-Not posting just like…saving it.

-Guys, come on, it Valentino, you should’ve seen this coming.

-Deletes it later though fuck that’s hilarious.

-He starts whining and crying when he sees you breastfeeding.

-“Your wasting the milk, mi precioso, are you kidding me?”

-He’s like in the middle of being a good dad and a bad dad.

-Suprised he made it that far on the scale.

-whenever he’s busy, he gives the baby to some random star and tells them to bring them back by like 10:30 or smth.

-with a coffee order. Very iconic.

-Same idea with Vox and liking you pregnant, and tried to get you pregnant again but you ask him why he doesn’t have a condom on if you don’t have your pills.

-He gets frustrated when that happens lol.

-Can’t wake up the baby!

proceeds to wake them up each night 3 times minimum

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AUTHOR’S NOTE: zomg this was sososo fun to write <3 But it’s so fucking short and i didn’t even realize until i was done. I’m actually so sorry. I still like these headcannons, very humorous, very real, thank you for asking me to make this because this is my first ask i got, i still have exactly 16 more, so ur just a little lucky duck, asker. Support is appreciated! New multi-chapter fix i’m working on might be posted on Friday-Sunday!! Baiiii!!!!

-Genderlessdude92, Kiki

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master list ouuu

[hazbin-writings-and-musings]

Lucifer Morningstar x Pregnant!Reader Headcanons Part 3

Keeping the ball rolling after part two, here's Lucifer and reader headcanons as baby gets ever closer to arrival. I think I'll do two more, with the last one detailing the actual birth and dear Lucy welcoming his second child. Thank you for reading and please enjoy!

Warnings: Pregnancy Mention, Smut

- His dedication to soothing your aches and pains grows even faster than they do as you get further along. The wealth of information now available about pregnancy (albeit not of the supernatural variety) initially overwhelms him, but he manages to find what he needs in books about prenatal massage. It doesn't matter where or when pain strikes, he'll be there to roll up his sleeves and work as long as he needs to make sure you're better. He's happy to have a professional masseuse join the palace staff to provide the help you need, but he also just enjoys doing it himself. There's a kind of intimacy he can't explain when it comes to tending his beloved and the body you're growing his child with. It doesn't hurt that his fingers are literally magical.

- He wants the FULL stereotypical expecting-a-baby experience, so yes, he'd love to do some breathing classes with you! The King of Hell might struggle to do anything in public without attracting attention, but he manages to locate a relaxed enough class that the two of you can attend without fear of paparazzi, and he is beyond thrilled from the very first session. There's not much he can offer now and through delivery beyond support, but he intends to give 110%. Pregnant yoga is also not off the table, nor is any activity that lets the two of you bond and enjoy the experience. To a very small extent, he enjoys these sessions because he gets to be seen with you. The Sinners and Hellborn just can't help sneaking an extra look at the King and his expecting lover. He doesn't need to say a word whenever he meets the gaze of someone looking the two of you over, the proud puff of his chest says it all as he lovingly splays a hand on your belly; that's right, I pulled this.

- He wants to brainstorm names right away, and because the two of you elect to be surprised by the birth sex, a very long list of potential selections is drafted for any outcome. His tastes tend to be a bit more old fashioned, but he has a knack for choosing those whose beauty has passed the test of time. His selections are also based on humans that have caught his attention through the ages, for good and bad reasons. Charlie was named after an ancient king, for example, who stood out most to Lucifer because he managed change on a scale few can ever hope to achieve, and change was what he desired for his child above all else. As he follows the naming rule of "two yesses, one no" he listens to all of your suggestions just as eagerly, which over the months results in an increasing long piece of parchment covered in names and notes. Vetoed suggestions are crossed out and he makes a point to note any potential issues with a name in great detail, and while the process is far from streamlined, the two of you have a great deal of fun selecting a final list of favorites.

- Out of everything required to prepare the nursery, selecting baby clothes tends to get him crying from the cuteness most often. He'll hold up potential outfits and try to imagine the baby in them, and while he's got a fantastic sense of fashion, the fabulousity doesn't detract from the adorableness before him. The itty bitty booties, the tiny socks, the cute little onesies... Stars, he's going to have another perfect baby, and since they'll no doubt be as precious as Charlie was... You'll often find him tearing up but beaming in silent thought as he looks over your future child's wardrobe, and he'll always explain himself honestly; he just can't wait to enjoy another round of baby days. If only they didn't go by so quickly...

- Lots of things grow increasingly difficult as you get further along, but he's always up for the challenge of making life easier for you, especially in regards to the bedroom. A baby bump will make certain positions impossible, but that's of little consequence for a man that can bend reality and his own physical form with ease. His capacity for effortless flight makes gravity a non-issue, and where his magic hits its limit, his creativity takes over. Whatever position results in comfort and satisfaction for you will be achieved, and he thinks of plenty to be offered. With his long, forked tongue added to the mix, you need not worry about missing out, no matter how much your middle swells. If anything, he rather enjoys being on the bottom...

[kaisntbreathing]

could you please do charlie meeting you and lucifer newborn daughter for the first time??

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕸𝖔𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 𝕱𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖞

AHHHHHH YES THAN YOU @mxxny-lupin I ABSOLTELY LOVE THIS IDEA THAN YOU <3 I didn't have the motivation to write a full one shot so I decided to do a mini one shot leading into headcanons, hope you enjoyed them nonetheless.

𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝, t𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲, 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲, 𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧.

𝐓𝐰'𝐬

𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭

???

E n j o y < 3

⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

Your hands trembled as you held the test in your hands as tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you read the test a smile graced your lips. Months and months of trying for a baby with Lucifer you'd almost given up, but you held the proof your waiting had finally paid off.

You reached for the door handle of the bathroom as you slowly moved forward out of the room as you saw nervous looking Lucifer your loving husband.

Looking up at you with his red and yellow eyes with burning curiosity and fear as you smiled and that's all the sign he needed before rushing to your side holding you close to him.

"We did it? Really?"

❂ He's overall ecstatic about the entire pregnancy since he only has one daughter as soon as he finds out he's having another one, he's over the moon about it.

❂ Also you don't have a choice but to take it easy for the entire pregnancy from the day he finds out you're immediately no longer allowed to do any kind of work.

❂ Not that you were allowed to anyways

❂ Charlie knows almost immediately after Lucifer finds out and she is also over the moon her eyes light up and she makes happy noises and squeals.

❂ She's excited to become a big sister ever since she was little she's always wanted to sibling.

❂ When you start to grow a baby bump both Charlie and Lucifer get REALLY protective of you and only some people are allowed to touch you.

❂ Lucifer loves to fall asleep listening to the baby's heartbeat.

❂ When it comes time to give birth Lucifer is nothing but a ball of nerves. If he can't be by your side then he's pacing around mumbling.

❂ Once the baby is born he rushed to your side saying praises about how he's so proud of you and if you we're ok.

❂ When he sees you in the bed holding your little girl he nearly cries (spoilers, He does)

❂ Charlie has a similar reaction when you guys come to the hotel carrying your newborn daughter that looks more like you than Lucifer but still has his eyes, Charlie's almost screams as she runs towards you.

❂ "I-It's....Is that my little sister?! She's so cute! Can I hold her?!"

❂ Vaggie has to literally pry Charlie away from the baby in order for you guys to hold her Charlie is a crying mess as she hold her little sister.

❂ Ever since she was born she remembers wanting a little sibling this is like a dream come true for her and she wouldn't have it any other way.

❂ As the baby gets older you realize that the child has inherited Lucifer's powers just as Charlie and he couldn't be more ecstatic.

❂ You both decided to name her Judas or Judy for short and Charlie is an amazing big sister offering to babysit whenever you guys needed a break and you couldn't be more grateful for it since Charlie is amazing with kids.

❂ Even though you're not Charlie's biological mother she still calls you mom and treats you like her mother although Charlie still loves Lilith to death, you're more of a mother than she is.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple Seed 15: Mommy's Here?

16 Hours In

Charlie: (demon mode as she screams in agony and continues to crush Vaggie's hand, pulverizing the bones to dust) FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

Vaggie: (biting her tongue so hard she's bleeding as the bones in her forearm begin to snap and break, holding Charlie's leg up by the bend in her knee with the crook of her elbow with her free hand, and trying to breathe despite Charlie's tail constricting her waist)

You're doing great, babe. (kisses Charlie's sweaty hair) Just a little more. You can do it.

Demon Charlie: (slumps against the pillows with a pitiful sob) I can't. I can't. I can't do it. *sob - hic* I can't.

Rosie: (on Charlie's other side, holding her other leg up with one arm and petting her hair with the other - mostly trying to make sure Charlie doesn't rush forward and poke out anyone's eyes with her horns)

Of course, you can! You're doing wonderful, darling! Isn't she doing great, Carmilla?

Carmilla: (sitting at the end of the bed with her hands hidden between Charlie's legs) It's Carmine to you, Rosie. But, yes, she is doing well. The baby's head is almost out, then the biggest problem will be the shoulders. Push on three, Princess. One.... two.... three.

Demon Charlie: (growls ferally as she pushes again, pressing her legs against Vaggie and Rosie's grip for leverage, and spewing fire out of the sides of her mouth)

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (slumps against the pillows again)

Carmilla: That's it, Princess. (grabs a warm, wet towel and starts wiping the baby's face and hair) Esta bebé se parecerá a Vaggie, lo juro. The head is out. Now, all you have to do is get the shoulders. Charlotte, you'll have to give a really big push to get them out. One more should do it. Can you do it?

Demon Charlie: (panting and whimpering as she nods) U-Uh-huh....

Carmilla: Good. On three. One....

Rosie: Two....

Vaggie: Three!

-In the Foyer-

Lilith: (sitting on the couch and seething as she downs her fifth cocktail) That self-entitled, boorish, sorry excuse of an angel dares to tell me, ME, the Queen of HELL to wait outside while my daughter gives birth!

Angel: Honestly, I'm not surprised, bitch. Vags has no clue who the fuck you are. She's never met ya. You weren't there for Charlie when she opened the hotel, you were mysteriously missing during the fight against heaven, gone for the hotel rebuildin', didn't show up for their wedding, missed out on all the pregnancy bullshit. Shit, if she had let you in, I woulda been insulted!

Lilith: (horns grow in anger) Why you pathetic sex worker-

Lucifer: (boops Lilith's nose with a rolled up magazine) No. Mm-mmm. Not today or any other day. Angel has a point. You decided to go off galivanting in Heaven during all of this, so you have no right to be mad that you aren't in there right now.

Lilith: (blinks and black shadows swirl around her) HOW DARE YOU?!?!?!

Lucifer: (boops again) No. Down. Bad, Lili, bad.

Husk: (pours himself another drink) Never in a million years would I have thought that this was the relationship the King and Ex-Queen of Hell would have.

Lilith: I am STILL the QUEEN!!!!

Angel: Hardly. No one cares about you anymore. Everyone's all about Charlie after the war against the Exorcists. Your reign is done, your ex-highn-ass.

Lilith: (opens her mouth to refute only to be cut off by Charlie's growling, scream of a screech)

-Fire explodes through the hotel without burning the inhabitants-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

-Silence-

Hazbins: (stand still)

...

...

...

-The sound of a baby's cry echoes through the hotel-

[anonymouscheeses]

Hazbin hotel theory (not circus related 🙄)

So we all know Charlie and Vaggie resemble alot of Lucifer and Lillith right?

Lucifer is a fallen angel and Vaggie is a fallen angel. Both sacrificing so much for their lovers. Both having different ideals and beliefs aside from the majority of heaven, because of that they both end up in hell. Also literal head over heels for their wives. Lucifer still wears his ring and Vaggie has very few scenes outside of Charlie.

Charlie and Lillith are both demons, although I guess Lillith is more human I think. But, they both fit in the other category. They both have fallen angel lovers. It's said in the opening cutscene that Lillith was an activist who sang as a way to influence. Charlie is an activist who sings in "ready for this" to persuade the cannibals to join her fight against heaven.

Personality and design wise though, Charlie and Lucifer are the most similar. Lillith and Vaggie? From what we've seen Lillith seemed loving in her pictures but calm and serious at the majority, if that doesn't describe Vaggie I don't know what does. Also Lillith wears purple and Vaggie is at this point purple coded 💀

It's implied that Lucifer had romantic or at the least smeggsual 🤭 relations to Eve. Sure it could have been a joke/lie, but clearly Adam gets pissed and doesn't say that he's wrong. I'd like to think Lillith and Eve also had romantic ties but there's not enough shown of them to make even an evidential guess. It's obvious tho that Lucifer at least was with the both of them at some point. (Maybe even Eve gave birth to Charlie since Lillith was cursed with miscarriages. At least if Viv still wants to keep that. No. No... Lucifer did NOT give birth to Charlie... youre jst weird... /j)

So... if Lucifer, Lillith, and Eve were once all in a polycule or at least a vee(two date one)....

who would be the one that stands in as Eve since Charlie and Vaggie are Lillith and Lucifer?

Plot twist. I'm a two and half halo shipper. It's Emily yall... 😨

HEAR MEE OUTTT!!!

In this image below, Vaggie is jealous that Charlie is holding Emily's hands(YES. CHARLIE IS HOLDING HER HANDS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Charlie is very touchy sshh) which is kind of weird they would include that tiny scene. Sure, it could just be comedic but what's comedy except a person who looks too much into a small 1 millisecond scene. It still puts in a dynamic that at first isn't implied to be romantic but! But, having this one scene still creates a slightly romantic undertone dynamic. Even if it's not heavily implied, Vaggie sees Emily as someone who's taking moves on her girlfriend. (Which could also imply Lillith and Eve's first impression before they got in a polycule.)

What I'm about to say is pure speculation, there still isn't much to go off of in the show at the moment with these six. But I think I have some points that maayyy just be smart for an idiot like me :3. Emily is an angel yes, but we aren't sure what Eve's fate was, where she went or what happened to her after. Maybe she stayed with Adam(after the creation of sin), and if Adam could go to heaven, a man who also ate the apple, then I believe Eve could too, it doesn't matter who started(assuming Adam did eat the apple in the show. Most likely.) What I like to speculate is that Eve went to heaven with Adam, although she didn't feel happy in their marriage and decided to make herself a fallen angel to be with Lucifer and Lillith, her true lovers.

Now the similarities with Eve and Emily? They both are against the ideas of those higher than them in heaven. Emily is against the idea of extermination in hell because she feels its unnecessary genocide. Eve went against heavens orders and ate the apple from Lucifer for knowledge. Oh also look haha their hair is kinda similar in the images below(not actual evidence but still its kinda cool) That's where the current canon similarities end. But ofc the big well known theory is that Emily will become a fallen angel because she goes against Sera's wishes. I HOPE she doesn't but in this show? Yeah, most likely. Currently Emily hasn't taken action, but maybe one day she will, which is the most likely situation. And if I'm right that Eve was a fallen angel then that would also be ANOTHER similarity. (Also. Ya'll.... the woman who picked up baby Charlie in "more than anything" was NOT Lillith. Like okay, maybe she is, but that didn't look like her AT ALL. She didn't have the same slick back mullet. But, in the image below, Eve and the woman who picked up baby Charlie have the exact same hair. Jst another thing I wanted to throw in to further evident that Lucifer Lillith and Eve were in a polycule/vee)

I LOVE TWO AND A HALF HALOS SO MUCH GUYSS. PLEASE FEED INTO MY NAIVETY. LUCIFER'S STOLEN WIVES AND CHARLIE'S ANGELS ARE LITERALLY CANON AND NO ONE CAN SAY OTHERWISE TO ME 😭😭

BONUS!! Adam is Lillith's ex rightt??? Well Lute is basically Vaggie's ex. Sure, you could argue that- no. No girl, they was exes, I know, Viv told me herself smhhh..... not only are both Lucifer and Vaggie fallen angels because they had different ideals from heaven, Lillith and Charlie are both activists who use their voice as powers, Eve and Emily go against heaven, BUT LILLITH AND VAGGIE BOTH HAVE EXES??

Bro, Adam and Lute are also besties like? The polycules kicked them out and then they were like, "nuh uh, now we're gonna date eachother since yall don't want us" 😭

Basically what I'm saying is that Lucifer's stolen wives and Charlie's angels are Canon and no one can say otherwise because I'm so smart. If anyone says they aren't just link them to here and BOOM we got another one added to the small ship. Also. This is so underrated. Ya'll.. the potential is so crazy. And since Charlie and Vaggie are already established it would be so intense and adorable to watch Emily try to impress and date them both. Uggghh so.... hyperfixated..... I hope this isn't my special interest now 😭

[christinebloodwrittings]

To hunt or be hunted #4

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader x Lucifer Summary: Truth unveiled, Alastor being unusually touchy, Lucifer being himself. Warnings: Mentions of child death.

Hazbin Taglist: @sakuraluna2468 @boogiemansbitch @mysterypotatoink

One year and seven months left. You reminded yourself while watching the black snake tattoo that slowly made its way up your arm, soon it would reach your heart and all would be over.

“Ten years, you work for me at my Hotel, and if I can’t manage to convince you to find something good to do with yourself, I’ll set you free” Charlie’s voice resonated in your head, it made no sense, but the true meaning of the deal was that if she could manage to help you find a reason to continue living, you would have a permanent home at the hotel.

If she couldn’t, you would have your soul back, and then the snake takes care of ending your suffering.

A swarming of feelings and thoughts came from thinking about the countdown, “It’s probably the best” who was going to miss you anyways? No one did back at the living world, your daughter died post-partum, your husband had died because of his sins, most of your friends at the time flew overseas looking for a better life, and there was no family left to mourn you.

Still isn’t.

Your father and your husband were most likely around in hell somewhere, in a hundred years you haven’t bothered to check, probably ended up repeating the same pattern: Gambling, debts, death.

May was a dreadful month, Mother’s day, your daughter’s birth and death anniversary, and just by the end of it, your birthday. Turning 40 is bad, but imagine turning 140 years old, that is worse.

You died at 35 years old in the 1920’s, since that to now it’s been 104 years, plus your age at the time 139, now turning 140. “It’s a blessing that I stayed looking the age I died in, otherwise I would be looking worse” you outlined your hips with your hands while straightening the leather straps around your waist.

‘Y/n, can you come to the parlor please?’ you heard Charlie speak through. You immediately knew what was going to happen, giving that it was nine Am sharp, and you weren’t summoned to make breakfast.

She either told them, or Angel was going to be fried alive.

Just as you guessed, there was Charlie in front of the fireplace, as the rest, except Alastor, looked rather hurt and shocked, specially Lucifer and Vaggie.

“You called?” the smoke cleared, making yourself appear sitting on the couch next to Charlie. A gasp found its way out of Vaggie’s throat before anyone could say anything. The angel collected her thoughts and then she was able to speak.

“Charlie, what the fuck is the AXE-MAN DOING IN THE HOTEL!” Vaggie didn’t doubted a second to stand before her with the spear pointing at you, “She’s the chef of the Hotel” Charlie smiled weakly, trying her best to stay collected. “Since when?” the feline bartender asked, not minding your presence very much.

“Before it started actually, eight years now?” she turned to you for confirmation, which you nodded affirmatively. “And you hid this, because…?” Angel’s turn to ask. Charlie was in shambles trying to come up with an answer that wouldn’t raise more questions, but failed, so you interceded.

“We made a deal; we don’t need to disclose the details, but it made her feel guilty” she shot you an unamused look before turning to her partner, her hand softly tracing the outline of her cheek.

“How come you got angry at me for lying to you, but you keep this kind of secret, honey?” ‘Oh hell no’ master or not, you weren’t going to allow that girl to talk to her (or anyone) like that.

“Hey now, whether she wanted to tell you or not it’s my and her business, but you hid the fact that you are an angel, worse than that a murderer, and no better than us sinners, so don’t act all hurt because now you two are even” your eyes lit up as the staring began to feel more lie a threat towards the fallen angel.

“You knew?” she diminished the distance between her spear and your neck, not earning a single flinch on your part, “One piece of advice, your golden blood leaves a trail, and the stench is very… specific, those like me that are used to blood can tell the difference” Alastor nodded in agreement.

“Why didn’t you tell me” Charlie sounded suspicions not hurt, to no one’s surprise really, “Last thing I knew I was a chef, not the gossip press” you took a look back to Vaggie, using a finger to lower the spear with zero effort, “Besides, wasn’t my secret to disclose” you winked an eye.

“Wait hold on, what makes the Axe-man want to work in a place for redemption?” Lucifer questioned, now more relaxed, he was all and hellfire before thinking you had taken her daughter’s soul. “She’s…kind of…forced to be here” another gasp.

Everyone turned to you, “I’m not ashamed of it, I got my ass kicked by miss sunshine here, lost my soul in the process and now I’m the chef” all except you and Charlie laughed, tearing up a little too.

“Charlie doesn’t own a soul, don’t be stupid, she’s lying right, Charlie?” Lucifer, watched his darling, perfect daughter image crumbled when all she could respond to that was a quiet shameful nod.

“YOU OWN A SOUL?” the shock was understandable.

It was too much for Lucifer so he sat beside you, holding his head on his hand, “Before you all judge her, I was stupid enough to challenge her when Lilith had just left, she was in a very dark place, my timing was terrible”

“How dark?” the king whispered your way, “I was her punching bag” he muttered a ‘oh shit’ both impressed and somewhat feeling guilty. They both had similar eyes when it came to pain.

“The infamous Axe-Man of New Orleans, I must say I am a big admirer of your work” Alastor came forward, grabbing your hand and placing a chaste kiss on your knuckles. “Oh, how unfortunate” he knew your name from above, so he lived around or in New Orleans.

“Why would you say that? You made an entire state fear your axe, for years there was nothing but jazz playing in the streets at night, and what’s best you were never identified nor caught” he pulled you from your seat, hitting his chest, his cane disappeared, leaving his free hand to sneak behind to hold your back in place.

“Well, I’m not that person anymore” Alastor drank in your scent, the sweetness burning its way down his lungs.

Every fiber, every hair on his body, told Alastor to run. Animal instinct, a deer in the jaws of a lion, a prey in front of a carnivore. Maybe because of the post-battle adrenaline he didn't feel the same instinct when you helped him. What will you feel with him so close? hunger? anger? lust? Curiosity ate him alive, he wanted to know what was telling you your instinct, how would it feel to be eaten by you.

“What made you bury the hatchet?” Angel’s pun made you smile, “Alastor” still in his arm, you felt him shift. “When you made yourself…present in hell, young, power hungry and all that, something inside me just told me that it was time to stop” ‘or else it was going to end with blood’ you thought. 

“Also before all this, I had heard about the cannibalistic murderer” you were aware of his aberration to touch, but given his closeness, you had no choice. Both of your hands settled on his hips, mostly for leverage, but to see how he would react to you.

“What an honor, I must say your performance inspired mine” his smile twitched, specially after feeling your warmth though his coat.

“You’re insulting me, Mr. Heartfelt” his chest tightened, a growl emanated from your throat, subtle but it made Alastor’s mind cloud a little. Focusing on your dilated pupils at all times to read any sign of warning, he saw nothing, no emotion whatsoever.  

“Your act was sloppy, careless. The bullied that became executioner of his bullies, tell me, do you feel better?” He didn’t understood what you were implying, once he tasted human meat he just couldn’t stop. He never asked himself if he was content, or if the blood made him feel better.

“You only targeted Italian mobsters; I’d say that’s rather sloppy” that’s all he could think, “And yet I didn’t allowed myself to be shot in the head” there was a weird aura surrounding you and him.

The situation was charming, two assassins of excellence, powerful Overlords with influence and stigma. Despite their sins, they were beautiful beings full of life and grace. Lucifer couldn't help but feel a tingle on his back watching such a scene. It seemed like they were going to devour each other, and relish in it.

“Disappointed?” your fangs shined with the firelight. “A little” he answered, expecting you to be more sanguinary, just as you used to be. “I’ll make Jambalaya today if that makes you feel better” but no matter what he did, while froze in place, like a deer in headlights, you couldn’t make him feel less excited, so alive.

“Thank you chérie, what about my work as of late?” reluctantly he let go of you, taking both of your hands in his.

“Very entertaining” he has a very slim waist, and yet it felt strong under your fingertips, warm. He has his hands and forearm blackened, just as his legs must be. The rest of his skin must be of that beautiful cream color. Of course, his chest wasn’t bald, like you he has a thin layer of short and soft fur.

“Get a room” Lucifer broke the moment, making Alastor’s eyes turn into the demonic radio stare you knew so well, “Funny I didn’t think such a tiny person could have a massive mouth” he then stepped away. Was it normal to be cold? Your body missed his closeness.

“Here he goes again, how about you help me with breakfast munch-king?” Lucifer felt his jacket being pulled off the couch, dragged by it towards the door that lead to the hallway to the kitchen, “Did you seriously called me that?” he allowed that, with a smirk he gave Alastor the finger.

“Want me to sing the song too?” you warned with a smile, “You wouldn’t dare-” your arm hugged his small frame into your side as you started to mock him, “Ding Dong the witch is dead!” you started, dragging the king down the hallway, “STOOP!” that was the last thing the crew heard before the door closed behind you.

🍎📻

“So, you challenged my daughter?” you hummed a yes, “She took the split a bit bad, huh?” on the corner of your eye you could see him sit on the kitchen island, just a few inches from where his daughter had hurt her hand.  

“I’ll send you my medical bill” your sarcasm made him laugh a little, “You don’t look like you belong in the sin of pride, yours must be wrath, isn’t it?” do demons look accordingly to their sins? You didn’t knew, “You tell me, I have yet to allow myself to ponder over what I have done”.

“I think I didn’t introduced myself, please forgive me” you left the kettle under the fire and walked over him, “My name is Y/n” you extended your hand to him, he took it with a smile. “Lucifer Morningstar, you may call me however it pleases you” his touch was gentle, but firm, you could feel his pulse though his gloves.

A thought tickled your brain, “In that case, would you like sugar or honey in your tea, Samael?” his eyes shifted, his horns grew. Like wood, like wood, his gaze was the same as his daughter's, and yet they harbored both hatred and sadness, both as deep as an abyss.

It shot an intense wave of electricity up your spine. You stood in front of the biggest predator in all of hell.

“Sorry, sorry, I just wanted to get a reaction out of you” he hadn’t let go of your hand, nor squeezed it, “I apologize, my king” your free hand caressed over the fabric.

He pouted, still not letting go of your hand. “If you let me touch your ears, I may forgive you” he turned back, you caught the sight of his tail slithering inside his pants.

“Sure, but please don’t get too close to the inside, my instincts are very strong and unforgiving, I would hate to have your blood on my uniform” You couldn't even finish speaking when he pulled your hand, immediately starting to touch the fur surrounding your ears. His knees settled on either side of your hips, taking advantage of the extra height the furniture provided.

“So soft, it’s so weird, a lion sinner, usually it’s a loyal, brave and true creature, heaven material” the sensation made your heart flutter. You felt like a dog, which made your ego bruise up a little, but at the same time his hands were warm and gentle, he took your advice and avoided the areas that you mentioned.

“Anyways, you’re forgiven, again, you’re very soft” Another cold feeling due to loss of touch, how annoying. You swallowed a lump of saliva before you could speak again, “Thank you, I take care of myself”.

“Oh and the note, thanks, it hasn’t been easy” he didn’t eased the pression on your hips,  “Marriage ain’t easy, and being apart after thousands of years must be rough” it’s not like the closeness bothered you, but it grant him a cocky smile and a sense of power over you, that feeling brought back the feeling of looking like a dog.

“I just…I wish I could make it up to Charlie” his hands grabbed one of yours, fidgeting with your fingers and the palm. “If it makes you feel more at ease, the sole fact that you’re here partially does more than enough” the light in his eyes lasted a few seconds, it was a lovely sight.

“Partially?” worried? Understatement. “If I say it you can’t hit me or anything” he made an X over his heart, then his hand went back to yours.

“She lied to you and you just went along with it? Parenting 101, mutual respect: she doesn’t lie and you don’t either” he applied a light pressure to your hand pads, making your claws come out and retract, that seemed to amuse him.

“So I have to…ground her?” his golden gaze went up to your eyes, but you were far too concentrated in his movements. “Well not now, but maybe speaking with her about it might be the right course of action”.

Melancholy, he had a feeling so he went for it.

“You were a parent?” he was right, your pained expression lasted a second but it was enough for him to feel a pang on his side. “For a day and a few hours” your eyes darkened, as it they were lost in a thought. The warmth of his hand on your cheek and a soft ‘My condolences’ brought you back.  

“I just know appropriate parenting by taking my parent’s example and do the opposite” you masked your pain with a smile and a smart remark, just like him, “Yeah, me too” his response made you scoff, “Where would you’ve sent you daughter for this kind of idea, Heaven?”.

Laughter filled the room. He wouldn’t do such a thing, nothing Charlie did would make Lucifer banish her anywhere, much less punish her like that for trying to help others.

“I had a different perspective of you” your tail stiffened around your leg, “What, a soulless maniac killer and nothing more?” you used to be like that. He laughed, “I mean, soulless indeed” you ruffled the hair that fell on his forehead, “But I’m glad I was wrong, thank you for taking care of my daughter, I see she trusts you a lot” you wouldn’t call it trust, nor she relied on you much.

Now that you think about it, taking care of her was instinctive, “I just grew used to her this past eight years” he smiled, “Thank you” he sensed the shift in you, the situation tensed up very quickly.

“Don’t, and just to be fully open about it, you were my objective” you would never show your fangs to anyone, looking like an animal doesn’t give you the right to act like one.

“Wait really?” his lips twitched, almost smiling. “I thought if I bruised up your daughter you would appear, but you saw how that ended” he hummed, rather amused. Your intimidation did nothing to him.

“Are you strong enough?” his question, he was insulting you? “Are you offering to fight?” you looked  at him up and down, not a trace of malice. “I mean if that’s what you wanted?” he was willing to fight with you? “I…I knew I wasn’t strong enough, nor I am now. To be honest, I wanted to pass to history as a crazy bitch who died at the hands of the devil”.

‘I’m oversharing, shut up’ you took a deep breath, adjusting yourself in between his legs, “I see” his breath hit your skin, “Now I just do this, and I’m fine with it”.

“I’d say, you’re terrific in the kitchen, no matter if it’s a served cold or hot type of dish, you always make it taste like home” your ears flattened against your head. “Thank you” he then looked up from your hand once again, a tender pink hue adorned your cheeks.

“Anyways” you got rid of his touch, as well as separated his knees just enough to walk a few steps backwards, “I have to make breakfast, and I just pulled you away because your constants fights with Alastor has gotten old very quick” you walked away, taking your white apron off the hanger, then tied a lovely bow on your back with the laces.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, see you later then” was that disappointment? You didn’t knew, and couldn’t care as long as your body remained trying to shake off the excessive heat, and the phantom of his touch still lingering. “Fuck” thinking about it made you cut your finger with a knife.

-------------------------------------------------

Stay tuned :3 Part 5

[123puppy]

I'd like to thank this precious video for giving me the mental image of Alastor's suffering~

-------

Cute.

It's a word Lucifer cannot seem to stop thinking about when it comes to The Radio Demon. For this, it's beyond his expectations. And a beautiful discovery he never thought possible.

Alastor lays flat on his back, arms barely staying near his head as he struggles to contain, and fail, the giggles that spill from between his teeth, face twisted into the sheets in a futile attempt to hide, flustered.

He forgoes his red-striped coat, sleeves rolled up along with the bottom hem of his light red shirt exposing his stomach and small waist, white strips almost zig-zagging his ashen skin.

A choked sound comes out of the man, unable to keep one of his arms in place, bringing said arm down to cover his mouth, grin growing bigger with a wobbly edge as his eyes pop open.

Long black claws dance gently over Alastor's lower tummy. It's been like this for over a minute, but Alastor is falling apart at the seams at the display, his other arm dragging itself down, red claws easily slicing through the crimson sheets in a slow 'rrrrRRRiiiip' and finding itself over his other hand to stop the giggles as they reach a slightly higher pitch, accompanied by a ringing pitched with distressed deer noises.

Lucifer has a smile on his own face as he continues to tease the deer with no hope of stopping unless the sinner voices it. He's praying Alastor doesn't end it too soon, because for all that is holy, this has got to be the cutest and wholesome moment he's seen since Charlie's birth.

Another minute goes by. It could have been eons for all Al knows.

The sinner cannot keep still the longer this goes on. One long leg pulls itself up and scrapes along the sheets as he fights to keep from squirming about. But Lucifer, the little shit, has been discreetly pushing his shirt up little by little, then he would drag his nails down back to where they started. The sporadic reaction is a feat, the younger man fighting his instinct to curl forward even when the Angel pressed his finger pads near his hips. The tears welling within the corners of his eyes don't give him hope of enduring this much longer.

Alastor had been holding out for as long as he could, to the point that his death mark began to glow, until he broke when one of his lowest ribs gets grazed.

He slams his elbows down and twists his body onto its side, ears flat against his skull, "That's enough!" His voice cracks. His actual voice, no filters.

Lucifer pulls away without complaint, but does pout, "Aww, I wanted to hear more of your adorable laughter."

"Fuck off."

Lucifer raised his hands in mock surrender, laughing, "Not my fault you're sensitive. I didn't go full Tickle Monster on you like I do with Charlie." He wiggles his fingers over Alastor and the demon flinched, slapping his hands away.

Blood-red eyes turn into dials, locked on the smaller man, grin exposing all his teeth.

"I haven't forgotten how sensitive you are, Your Highness."

"Now let's not get ahead of ourselves-" Lucifer shrieks as Alastor pounces.

[nunalastor]

Horrid 3 am thoughts: in an au where Lucifer is the one who gives birth to Charlie, did he lactate? Can he still do so? Funny: he stored it in the communal fridge (unlabeled), so occasionally someone ends up drinking the Mystery Milk. Funnier: it smells weirdly good to Alastor so he puts it in his coffee. Funniest: this happens in front of Lucifer and he can't say shit without exposing himself.

[archrries]

I don't care if that post about Lucifer giving birth to Charlie is fake, ITS REAL IN MY HEART. Just look at him and Lilith and tell me which one was more likely to have her. Cause I guarantee you Lucifer was BEGGING Lilith to let him be the one to carry.

[sylveon-official]

Huskerdust mpreg wip 3

Part 2 here!

Lucifer chews on the finger of his glove as he mumbles, looking back and forth between Angel perched on the bed and the ultrasound pictures in his hand. Charlie sits beside him in an unwavering show of support, but the nervous shake of her hand clasped in his isn’t really helping.

“Ohhh. Mmm, okay, I see. Oh boy… again?” 

“Again?” Angel and Charlie cry out, shooting worried looks at one another.

“What the fuck do you mean again? This happen often? Isn’t not being able to get knocked up supposed to be, like, divine punishment around here?!”

Of course, Angel had always considered that logic a bit backwards, especially with his profession. He had no idea how demon biology really worked, but he’d seen enough visibly pregnant Hellborns of myriad genders in his time in Hell to be secretly grateful he’d never had to worry about it. Well, until now.

“Well, yes…” Lucifer scratches the side of his cheek, gaze nervously flitting from side to side. “But, you see, from time to time we have experienced… let’s call them… little miracles, here in the Pride Circle!”

Angel scoffs, about to reply with scathing comment about the contradiction when Charlie places a steady hand on his shoulder and gently cuts in, “When is the last time this happened, Dad?”

Lucifer blows out a breath, and tuts his tongue as he counts on his fingers. “Oh, maybe 1000 years ago? Give or take. Doesn’t happen so often, could probably count the amount of times it has on two hands, but —?”

Angel groans. Lucifer or not, this guy has a way of beating around the bush that Angel sure doesn’t appreciate. 

“Come on, cut to the chase shortstack - Why?” Angel asks, exasperated. 

Charlie reprimands him lightly with a gasp of his name while Lucifer zeroes in on him with a narrow glare.

“I’m going to chalk that one up to hormones, and let that one slide.” 

When Angel simply shoots him a dull look, Lucifer quickly gathers up his broken ego and carries on, this time in a more serious tone, “Listen, I wish I had an answer for you kid, but… I’ve never really been able to figure it out myself.”

Angel quickly deflates, sudden heat building up behind his eyes again. Great. Not only is he the first pregnant Sinner Demon in a Millenia, but he doesn’t even get an explanation?

Apparently sensing his downturn in mood, Charlie squeezes Angel’s hand and pries further, “Dad, if this has happened more than once, there has to be something you know. Even a just a theory?”

Lucifer hesitates, fiddling with his cane. “Well… there is one I’ve considered, but… don’t put too much stock into it,” he explains defensively, and Angel looks back up at him, tentatively intrigued.

“So, you know how conception happens… up there, right?” Lucifer cups his hand around his mouth and whispers conspiratorially.

Angel furrows his brows. “No, how the fuck should I-”

“Oh, um!” Charlie cuts in, her own brow furrowed in thought. “Something about ‘built-in’ birth control, right? You and your partner will only conceive if it’s something you both long for. So romantic!” She swoons, pressing her cheek against Angel’s shoulder. She quickly rights herself to add to her father’s assessment, “So if that’s how it works with Redeemed Souls, then maybe… maybe it doesn’t matter whether you’re in Heaven or Hell, since now we know that’s a total crapshoot… maybe it has to do with the goodness inside of the soul itself!”

Angel’s eyes narrow as he parses the words in his head, refusing to acknowledge the latter half of Charlie’s rambling. 

“So lemme get this straight… you’re tellin’ me, this is literally some ‘when two people love each other very much’ kinda bull shit?! Who the fuck would I—” 

Angel’s voice gets stuck in his throat as a very clear image of of the potential culprit poofs into his mind's eye. 

Luckily, Lucifer and Charlie take his short-circuiting as general shock. Charlie coos and pulls him close while Lucifer backtracks, “Like I said, it’s just a theory - I’ve got no proof to back it up. For all I know, this is the Big Whatever Upstairs’ way of fuckin’ with us—”

Angel stands up, ignoring the way Lucifer flinches as he towers over him and Charlie face-plants onto the bed without his support.

“I gotta go,” Angel says, balling his hands up into fists, nails digging into his palms uncomfortably. 

He swipes the photos from off of his desk, throws open the door and briskly walks down the hallway, Charlie’s worried shouts falling on deaf ears.

He takes the stairs to the lobby two by two, picking up his pace so he doesn’t lose his nerve by the time he reaches his destination. 

When he stalks up to the bar, heart pounding and out of breath, Husk simply glances up from the glass he’s polishing and plasters on a teasing, lopsided grin, just like he's done every time Angel has stormed up to his bar at any and all hours of the day and night. 

Husk cocks his head and lifts a brow, the deep timbre vibrating across the walls, “Wanna talk about it, Legs?”

Angel’s heart thumps and his cheeks flood with heat.

“Fuck.”