#mad incoherent ramblings

[a-scummy-hybrid]

Would you crush a colony of Breadbugs with a hammer and then eat them in the form of a cereal for 10000000000 Pokos? Why not? Or Yes?

Also Breadbugs are highly nutrional Unfortunately they are very bland My best guess is that "bland" would probably be the equivalent to eating bland cereal Or bread? Without the sugar Either or works in this scenario What would be the substitute for milk in this scenario? Iunno… piss Nectar? Or maybe like…. The blood? If it has blood Considering the meat doesnt have flavor, the blood also probably doesnt have anything to it either, if it even has blood to begin with Actually… im curious if the meat is spongy or something I think it is Which that might be unpleasant in the mouth Actually Probably not, considering some edible mushrooms irl are spongy if im remembering correctly -.- Okay i think its time for me to sleep now.

[piccololiker]

I be thinking ab Namekian biology… like, why do they have such predatory characteristics for a species that only needs water to survive ?? And then I thought, WELL, MAYBE, In times of severe drought/short supplies of water, Namekians will consume LITERALLY ANYTHING. They become FERAL munchers. They WILL kill a bitch for their meat, hence the fangs and claws (and sensitive hearing).

Thinking about how such a revered species known for their benevolence and chill-ness become savages when water isn’t around for long periods of time. Like woah man, why are you looking at my arm like that. NO it is not a tube of water. Pls don’t bit me.

They probably extract the water from the ingested material, and that’s how they get their nutrients during water-less times. Or not. Idk. This is my headcanon and I fw it. Since piccolo was mostly raised on earth, he probably just ate meat because he didn’t know ANYTHING. And honestly same. I love u piccolo,,, I love your alien-ness🫶🫶😘 slay🤧🫶

[celestialrealms]

barbatos letting himself be loved and cared for. barbatos letting himself be loved and cared for!!!

[drowningparty]

I have some thoughts re: Kayne / godhood (spoilers for intermezzo)

I don't think Kayne respects any of the other gods. He definitely doesn't respect the King in Yellow, he knocked him over the head w/ an oversized mallet to give him amnesia and stuck him in Arthur's head and reduced the Dreamlands to "a lawless waste" for a laugh. He also destroyed his city for the hell of it. He doesn't fucking care. He's rude to John, ignores him, says 'Arthur' when referring to both of them. I thought I noticed this undercurrent of quiet animosity, but felt vindicated during 40 + Intermezzo b/c he was suddenly soooooo loud! Ignoring & talking over John? Check. Telling him he's not special like Arthur? Check. Saying he'll torture him worse than Arthur just because he can? Check. My theory is it's b/c John's still a god, technically. Like the whole, choosing your own name + path... you'd think would be something Kayne could sympathize with (as much as Kayne can feel sympathy), but...........no. He knows John is easier to manipulate w/ fear (he can send him back to the Dark World w/ a snap of his fingers), and saves his faux sympathy for Arthur.

I think this is b/c he likes humans. Sure, he also likes killing them, but I don't think those impulses are mutually exclusive. Kayne's the most "human" of the gods we've met. He talks like a human, makes pop culture references, looks passingly human, etc. I think he envies them, in a way? They have a freedom I think he lacks as a god, even though they are confined to one timeline. We still don't fully understand how gods work, but from his description alone it sounds like he thinks of them as limited. They have incredible power compared to mortals, they exist outside the piano... but are confined to a single key. Which sounds to me like their path is predetermined and they're not intended to develop free will. Kayne's an anomaly b/c he does, or tries to.

He wants to put humans in an antfarm, perhaps as a demonstration of his free will. That's all Carcosa was, right? An antfarm. He wanted to play godzilla, smash the ants. Arthur's another ant in a different farm, and he watched his entire life play out across several verses to try to figure him out. What makes him unique is he dies in every other verse. Kayne can't figure out what makes this Arthur so special that he survives when all the others don't, but it implies he did something right with his free will, that this version is an "anomaly" like Kayne. He respects that, b/c it means this version of Arthur has done the same thing he has: taken control of their narrative. Even Kayne choosing his own name is an example of that. Becoming Kayne, rejecting the title Nyarlathotep and all the baggage that comes with it, the expectation to be what his father wants, a messenger for the outer gods (although he may still want that, I expect whatever his intentions are re: the Black Stone, they're his, not Azathoth's).

Arthur is usually a mirror for character's to see their humanity reflected, but instead of seeing his humanity (b/c he has none), Kayne looks at Arthur and sees himself. Which... surprised me? He seems so confident in his godhood, I thought he just viewed Arthur as his fave toy or human, like even in the S4 finale I found it hilarious how he kept going: "why can't you all just be more like Arthur???" apropo of.....nothing, but he didn't treat him like someone he identified with, so it caught me off-guard when he compared himself to Arthur, but that's big for a god! and I think it supports my thesis he envies humans for their freedom. Their roles aren't as "established" as a god's. Humans have free will, something he had to kill every other version of himself to gain. Even then, I think absorbing his alts (???) or whatever he did after killing them to become more powerful fucked him up, may have driven him mad if he wasn't already when he started this exercise in defending-himself-from-ever-getting-deleted, like he doesn't sound okay when he's talking to himself.

TLDR: Kayne thinks Arthur's special b/c he lived, when all the other Arthur's in Kayne's Arthur-Killing-Experiment died! (: Kayne can't figure out why, but he likes not knowing why. He likes humanity b/c of their freedom, b/c he's a chaos god who wants as much freedom as possible. And he's aware gods are fallible, they can be deleted, which takes all the romance out of godhood. Kayne's the most powerful god we've met b/c he's taken steps to emulate humanity's free will, the thing that makes Arthur "special," but what makes Arthur "hard to see" is probably his humanity. As much as Kayne likes humanity, I don't think it's something he can truly understand, which is why he enjoys sticking humans full of pins and trying.

I think it's neat Malevolent prizes humanity over godhood. Even gods seem to value humanity over godhood. John wants to become human. Yellow wants acceptance from a human. I think Kayne holds humans in higher esteem than gods. Those who look down on humans or try to 'ascend' and leave behind their humanity, like Larson, are clearly in the wrong. It's not seen as a weakness to be human, and even the parts of humanity that are usually written off as a weakness (our rage, grief, violence, desperation, etc...) are viewed as strengths in Malevolent, and I fucking love that about this show.

Anyway, I'll, uhh, shut up now.

[just-1other-nerd]

Me checking the epic the musical tag to see how the fandom's doing:

Ah yes, here we have the coping-with-the-emotional-damage-through-humor section with memes and mismatched quotes and "I survived the wisdom saga" t-shirts, there we have the shouting-at-Jorge-for-inflicting-such-pain department, right next to it is the I'll-make-this-even-sadder-for-all-of-us district where they produce a flood of heartbreaking headcanons and metas, hiding behind it is the I'm-trying-to-put-my-thoughts-into-words-but-all-that-comes-out-is-rambling party, then there's the I'll-live-up-to-the-name-of-the-musical-and-make-*epic*-fanart corner and last but not least we have the this-is-tartarus,-I-don't-even-know-what-to-do,-I'm-in-shambles-on-the-floor pile of people moaning about the existencial crisis, insanity and severe grief this genius modern interpretation of an ancient greek tragedy causes them...

Me: yeah that seems about right

[twistpixel]

I’ve never seen a Jason liker say “he didn’t really kill all those people or hurt anyone”*** And yet other parts of the fandom are constantly putting out shit like “Jason stans are abuse apologists” *****But the part that is making me actually sick about it is the way Bruce fans, saying this kind of thing about Jason, and in those very posts say “Bruce isn’t perfect.” Like I’m going to actually be sick. Vomitrocious.

When the situation is literally abusive, as in “a person with a longstanding relationship with a pattern of using violence to control the other” suddenly you can’t say it? Grow up please. Like just be honest. You won’t go to hell if you say “canon Bruce abuses his kids I just like to think about him he’s my favorite character.” But I promise you will actually go to hell if you re-enact the end scene of Some Like it Hot but with times Bruce decked his kids. “Nobody’s perfect” “he’s made mistakes” Go straight to hell hitting your kid isn’t just a “mistake” and this admitting Bruce “isn’t perfect” is not the same as saying “Bruce has a persistent habit of being physically violent with his kids when he’s feeling angry.” THAT is the actual abuse apology.

*** Jason being under some kind of influence is popularized and maybe invented by fanon Tim likers who want to read 284950 fics of Jason beating Tim up and stabbing him and then swaddling him in a baby blanket so Tim can beatifically forgive him. Jason being mentally unstable =/= Jason being mind controlled. 98% of Jason fanblogs reblog every “your honor he did do those things” type post they can find. Where is the idea that Jason fans deny his actions coming from?

*****setting aside that these people don’t differentiate between assault and abuse when it props up their condemnation for them to use the word that sounds worse

[iverkana]

*walks up to a lesbian couple* okay so which one of you is popuko and which one is pipimi

[valentronic]

*pathetically rattles can* spare shockshipping content ??? spare shockship please sir ???

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

[mad-c1oud]

i love looking through my 40+ drafts like girl what are you Talkin about 🧡

[technicalknockout]

O SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH FREE ME FROM THIS ACCURSED FLESH PRISON THAT IS MY MORTAL BODY (has fallen victim to menstrual cramps and is slowly losing any trace of coherent thought)

[yoyoyo-idk]

i am once again going feral thinking about jigokuraku

this is going to be a slightly incoherent post but i need to get this out of my chest because FUCK.

like. i've said it before but the fact that NONE of the story would have happened if Yui hadn't decided to go 'fuck this' and accept gabimaru? if he hadn't loved her? i think about that a lot.

genuinely, you can take any point of the story, ask yourself 'what would happen here if yui didn't exist/if gabimaru didn't love her/etc' and nothing happens. that's it. it just doesn't happen

like haha funny story about rabid cat ninja who's in love with his wife - IT IS THE FUNDAMENTAL FACT UPON WHICH THIS ENTIRE STORY IS BUILT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND.

i will never get over that. look at me. i will NEVER stop thinking about them. yui deserves so many more panels

"oh it's just a shitty action manga. the story isn't even that good" a thousand deaths for you. suffering upon your cow. i am biting you until your flesh is digested.

bloody hell - just. there are so many more instances of like... "people are complex beings and when you accept them as they are it's kinda good, yknow?" and. and. i don't even know how to speak anymore. there are so many things that devastate me about this manga i couldn't talk about it even if i wanted to

[patchworkmirage]

[fairyspheres]

i have some incoherent thoughts about god in the good omens verse and i need to get them out in some sort of legible written format. so sorry if you don't like this lmao.

(note; these are my personal thoughts that i'm putting into words please don't get mad at me)

rather than the loving and benevolent being that god is often portrayed as in media, she is very much the old testament version. all about testing people and wrath without reason. she doesn't play fair. she threw angels down into perdition simply for asking questions.

and honestly, as much as it hurts to see the blorbos/poor little meow meows hurt in the show, i actually really like this portrayal of her. given how a lot of christianity has been based upon or influenced by earlier/ancient religions (jesus' wine trick can be compared to dionysus, for example), i feel it's no small stretch to say that god herself was influenced by the creator deities of those religions.

if i use gaia as an example (though she was not the ultimate 'creator' in ancient greek mythology - that was chaos - it's close enough for the comparison), she was gentle and loving, as god is said to be. gaia is also brutal and tells her titan children to kill their father. god has shown a pattern of,,, questionable behaviour.

i do think god loves her creations and children in the go verse. i also think that her interpretation is close to the old greek deities, which influences things. the greek gods loved their creations, too, but they were firmly inhuman and so loved in an inhuman way, usually by turning their loved humans into a fountain, a plant, or an animal. god does the same thing (without the metamorphosis bit).

the greek gods would often test their favoured heroes (or champions). zeus also decided to drown the entire world because he got tired of humans (a mood), but allowed pyrrha and deucalion to survive and repopulate (though with stones, so no incest there).

god has obviously done all this as well. we know she tests her favoured humans (look at job). we know she drowned everyone in mesopotamia because she got tetchy one day.

i think she shows her love in the same way. inhuman, terrible, and horrifying. which is why i think when she tests the humans, she's also testing the angels and demons (particularly a certain earth loving pair). she loves them still, she wants to see what they'll do, but she doesn't tell them what's happening or what to do. a hands-off approach.

(also, contrary to popular depiction, i don't think god doesn't have fluffy white wings. she was the first being in an empty universe/void like chaos, right? so i think she has black wings. and i think she's an eldritch being like chaos or nyx. she certainly wouldn't look human.)

[de-sterren-nacht]

1. not what hedonism means. this is the definition of utilitarianism

2. you cannot hinge your entire moral philosophy on a parenthetical. you cannot just handwave away "oh yeah as long as it doesnt hurt anyone of course". you cannot make pleasure the end all be all and then just go "eh, whatever" when asked what the limits of that are. a moral philosophy that fails to define what is immoral is a moral philosophy that does not HAVE a concept of "immorality"

[technicalthinker]

For the record, all memes and theories and hype aside, I just hope the last episode of Loki is a fun time! Ive been mixed abt loki s1 and s2 but Ive really enjoyed a lot of these s2 eps, especially like ep4-5. Most mcu shows does not stick the landing so it would just be nice if ep6 is like! An alright time? That would be very welcome in this economy of mcu projects.