#madarame tw

[succulentul]

after all, it’s much easier to steal the futures of children who can’t fight back.

[the-chikyuu-times]

[the-tragic-heroine]

死鬼祭 | Shiki Matsuri

fandom: tokyo revengers

characters: kurokawa izana, kakucho, haitani ran, haitani rindou, madarame shion, kokonoi hajime

pairings: tenjiku x female reader

cw: blood, violence, major character death, supernatural elements, mass murder, angst with happy ending, kinda, she/her pronouns used for reader

tags: @akemiixx01​

—✧ SUMMARY ✧—

The villagers say that you cursed them all. You believe that they were the ones who cursed you. (Or, in which the circumstances of your unfortunate birth woke a forgotten, slumbering god.)

Very vague depictions of the supernatural here, and a few cameos of specific yokai if you can spot them! Title is based off of a song by KODOKULOVE! More characters may be added as the story progresses.

Read on AO3 Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six

CHAPTER 柒 SEVEN (FINAL)

“Welcome back,” Izana said as you settled back into your own body again. “Are you with me?”

You nodded, staring straight ahead.

“Good. How do you feel?”

“Awful,” you replied bluntly. Then, “Was that really me?”

Izana hummed. “Who knows… but I like to think that it was. Some way or another, you came back—and I believe that somehow, I was given the chance to make things right.” When he looked at you, you were transported centuries back to those same amethyst eyes: divine and ethereal in its majesty, but shedding tears like a heartbroken human man.

“It hurt,” you told him honestly. “It hurt more than the day I was bashed over the head and burned with a torch. I should hate you for making me go through that. Yet…” You trailed off. “Yet, I can’t. I can’t hate you because now, I understand.”

The you who grew up with nothing would have never been able to comprehend the pain of losing absolutely everything.

“The Sano household still stands, even to this day,” you said. “But my family’s old home has long since been built over. They erased both you and us from history and replaced it with the legend of a cunning fox, who tried to disguise itself as a human woman so it could kill the village lord. Not even my mother knew the truth, as it died along with me that night.” You met his piercing gaze. “But you knew, didn’t you? You knew the second you saw me and the blood that came out from between my legs. And the guilt of it followed you forever.”

Izana said nothing.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m sorry for deceiving you. I’m sorry for leaving you all alone.” You smiled at him, eyes dry and free from tears. “But I’m here now, so let me help you.”

This time, when Izana smiled back, you found that he had never looked more lovely.

—✧—

The remaining walk to the village did not take very long, and when you both arrived, you could not even be shocked anymore at the sight that awaited you.

It was as if the entire village, from the rooftops to the streets, had been doused with foul, oozing tar. The malevolent spirits clung onto the sides of buildings, adhered themselves to the weary, zombie-like villagers who appeared to have lost all will to live. None even seemed to notice me as I peered out from behind the trees near the village entrance. Farther into the distance, I recognised the looming presence of the painfully familiar Sano household and its demons, sitting at the very top of the sloping hill.

“How unfair,” you said, “that one man’s sin would be enough to doom an entire civilization.”

“Such is the nature of man,” Izana replied, voice carried by the breeze.

Perhaps the long dream had broken something deep inside of you, because when your gaze came to rest on a crumpled heap along the side of an alley, surrounded by bloodied sticks and stones and with a cloud of both flies and demons hovering overhead, you did not even blink. Probably because the body reminded you a bit of yours, all those centuries ago… and you could no longer find within yourself any remaining ounce of sympathy left for the villagers who had shunned you and your bloodline, tortured you throughout your entire life, for a crime you had never even committed.

You did not feel human when you turned to Izana and said with a smile, “Burn them all.”

—✧—

It was the night of a full moon when you and Izana led an army of a hundred yokai to descend upon the village—but the only person the villagers saw was you. As if in a trance, they watched silently as you walked through the center of all the buildings, eyes set straight ahead, ignoring the chattering monsters that began to crawl close behind. When you reached the foot of the hill leading up to the Sano household, you finally turned around.

Behind you, Izana was already waiting, invisible to the eyes of the mortal men. All he had to do was raise one hand—and then, the massacre began.

Screams blended together with the laughter of Izana’s contracted spirits as one-by-one, the houses burst into flame. Wooden rafters creaked and groaned, snapping and smoldering while people desperately scrambled for safety—only to run headfirst into the jaws of the eagerly awaiting yokai, who devoured their souls and left only empty husks behind. The demonic entities that clung to the village were swept up into the chaos, latching onto and attacking both humans and yokai alike—but they were nothing more than fodder for Izana’s army, who quickly consumed them as well.

You caught glimpses of your shrine’s men in the crowd; Ran and Rindou were all too happy to stomp the demons flat, not caring if any humans were in the way. Shion killed any creature who crossed his path, human or demon, occasionally having to be yanked aside before he could attack an ally by accident. Kokonoi mostly stayed on the sidelines, away from the violence, but did not hesitate to crush any victims who strayed too far from the center of the battle. And you watched as Kakucho, whose eyes once swam with guilt and remorse, guarded the village border—catching whoever made it far enough in their attempt to escape and ripping their hearts from their chests. When he raised his head and briefly caught your gaze, you saw that he wore an expression of nothing but cold dedication to his duty.

As buildings and villagers collapsed and burned alike, you stood at the center of it all. Dying people cried out and begged for their lives like you were a god. How ironic, you thought to yourself as they perished like ants beneath a merciless heel; you had once died here, too, like nothing but a wounded animal, without even the chance to plead to your own beloved god for salvation. You wondered, if you could have chosen how you died, which you would pick: burning together with your people, or bleeding out alone in front of an entire village’s scrutiny.

The sudden touch against the back of your hand dragged you from your thoughts and you found yourself blinking up at Izana, who slipped your hand into his. As he interlaced your fingers together, he leaned in and rested his forehead against yours—mirroring the night of your death. You closed your eyes, letting the sounds of destruction fade into the back of your mind as he spoke.

“This is not the end,” he said, his voice a gentle caress. “This is only the beginning. Let this be the day of our rebirth.”

“Our rebirth,” you echoed, and closed the gap between your lips. In that moment, encircled by death and fire, you had never felt happier.

—✧—

The Sano manor was the only building still standing after the rest of the village was reduced to piles of smoldering ash. You stood before it, matchstick in hand, facing the same doors you had once been thrown out of.

“You tried to erase our bloodline,” you told the house, lifting the match into the air. “How funny that instead, mine will be the only one that remains.”

The match sailed through the air, flame dancing to a familiar melody. When the manor began to burn, instead of the crackling of flames, you heard the humming of your mother while she brushed your hair, woven together with the whimsical laughter of your little brother and sister.

You sat and watched until the house was no more, until all that was left of the fire was the curling of smoke into the air. Until you could no longer hear your family’s song.

“Goodbye,” you said, and cried.

—✧—

“Go sit down,” Rindou snapped at you as you tried to help sweep up some of the debris. “You shouldn’t be here anyway! You should be resting back at home.”

“She’s not a doll, Rin Let her do what she wants,” Ran piped up, standing so that he could stretch from where he had been moving rubble off to the side. “Ugh, some of this stuff is getting into my hair…”

You rolled your eyes at the two of them and huffed. “You guys are absolutely useless at cleaning. Especially Ran. That’s why I’m here, because the mess should have been cleared by now so we can actually start rebuilding everything!”

“Oh, come now,” Kokonoi laughed, sticking out his tongue at your bickering. “Why not pay for some more help? Not that I’m offering to spare some of my own money, though.”

“You’re useless too,” you grumbled right back. “I can’t believe you have the audacity to ask us to pay you to help! Why does Izana still keep you around? Also, where the hell did Shion go?”

As if on cue, a bloodcurdling screech erupted from a rubble pile a short distance away, before Shion popped into view with a disgruntled tanuki dangling by the tail from his clenched fist.

“Ever since we destroyed everything, this place has been crawlin’,” Shion said, eyeing the wriggling creature. “Might as well eat some of ‘em, right?”

You dropped your broom. “Shion! Let it go!”

“It’s lively here, but somehow, it seems that even less work is being done,” came Kakucho’s smooth, deep voice from behind you, right as Shion begrudgingly dropped the poor tanuki. It scampered back into the forest.

You sighed. “It’s like wrangling with children. I don’t know how you and Izana manage it.”

Kakucho laughed, and you were once again struck by the raw beauty of his happy face. “Well, when you’ve been together with these guys for hundreds of years, what’s just a few minutes more in comparison?” He patted your shoulder. “Take a break. I know you’re excited to get things finished, but there’s no real rush. There are no people left aside from you now, after all. And, well, except for…”

A loud yell and crash interrupted him mid-sentence, the two of you looking up just in time to see Izana cheerfully kicking Shion into a mountain of splintered wood. Ran and Rindou guffawed while Kokonoi snickered into one of his fluffy tails. Kakucho rolled his eyes and set off to help Shion up, who was now loudly complaining about splinters, leaving you to watch the scene with a little shake of your head—but unable to wipe the affectionate smile from your face. You were still smiling when Izana made his way over to your side.

“You look happy,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before wrapping his arms around you with a sigh of contentment.

“That’s because I am,” you replied, laughing softly. “I never thought someone like me could ever be happy in this lifetime… but thanks to all of you, I’ve been proven wrong. Even though it took a lot of pain and heartache to get here.” And human sacrifices, your mind added helpfully, though you chose to ignore it.

Izana rested his chin on your shoulder with a pleased hum. “If anyone deserves happiness, it’s you.”

You closed your eyes and smiled. “If you say so. And what about you? Are you happy?”

You felt the curve of his lips against your neck as he responded without hesitation. “Of course I am. And so are the others. We’ve waited centuries to find our happiness again—and now that we found it, we don’t plan on letting you go.”

“I’m… your happiness?” Your words came out in a shaky whisper.

“…Always have been, from the very start.”

The tears of joy rolling down your cheeks became glistening sparkles underneath the warmth of the noontime sun. “Then, don’t. Don’t let me go. Let me stay by your side for the rest of my life—and for the rest of yours.”

“You’ve gotten better with your words since becoming one with me,” Izana said. “Do you feel any different, now that you’ve joined me in becoming a god?”

“Not really,” you said, after some thought. “I feel exactly the same. Who knows, maybe I was actually god all this time! After all, gods are formed from the power of belief, right?”

Izana hummed. “Indeed. This world works in mysterious ways—but that’s the beauty of it, isn’t it?”

“At the very least, I do feel like I’ve been reborn, like you said.” One of your hands found its way atop of Izana’s, where it rested over the slight swell of your stomach. “So I hope that it’s a sign of this village’s eventual rebirth, as well.”

“I’m sure it is,” he replied, closing his eyes. His long eyelashes brushed against your skin in a fluttering kiss. “We’ll rebuild it together, piece by piece.”

—✧—

a/n: Sorry if the ending was rather abrupt kdasjlsl I ACTUALLY HAVE ANOTHER FIC I PLAN ON DROPPING SOON SO I JUST WANTED TO FINISH THIS UP QUICKLY SO I CAN GET TO IT!! also, what do you guys think of an epilogue?and btw, before anyone asks about the logistics of how they're gonna rebuild an entire village with just y/n and the boyz, there are neighbouring villages and travelers who will eventually move in and settle permanently! as for how repopulating the village with humans as a god is gonna work, idk just go with it LMAO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING THIS WAS A WILD RIDE AND BY FAR THE LONGEST FIC I HAVE EVER WRITTEN I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!!! NOW ONTO MY NEXT ONE!!!

[yusuke-of-valla]

Whumptober Day 3: Bright-Eyed And Bushy-Tailed

AO3

Written for the prompt "solitary confinement"

“Sensei, sensei I’m sorry!” Yusuke sobs as Madarame drags him down into the basement.  Despite all his best efforts, he still sprouted ears and a tail, and that probably means he’s going to be stuck as a fox again soon.

But sensei doesn’t want him disturbing the guests or the other pupils and told him if he couldn’t get it under control he’d have to take drastic measures.

Now Yusuke finally understands what that is as he’s dragged into a small room and thrown into some sort of crate that he just barely fits in.

“As long as you act like a beast, you will be treated like one,” Madarame says. “Now you will stay there until you can be normal.”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m trying!” Yusuke sobs, but Madarame is already at the door.

Yusuke curls up into a ball and tries to make himself as small as possible to fit in the cage.

He needs to be a good, normal, boy for sensei, not a savage, wild, fox.

Good boy, not a bad fox. 

Good boy, not a bad fox

Good boy, not a bad fox.

The more Yusuke repeats that and focuses on forcing the fox part back into himself, the more it hurts, but eventually he thinks he does it.

He’s tired and sore, but he managed to not turn into a fox.

After that night all Yusuke has to do if he doesn’t want to transform is think about the cage and the dark and force himself to stay normal.

~

God. Zenkichi’s gone too long without shifting. Sure, he took the time to do it in the comfort of his own room while they stopped in Kyoto, but he didn’t really get to stretch his legs.

One of the downsides of being a werewolf in Japan, people notice if a random wolf is suddenly wandering around.

But since there’s the abandoned facility in Okinawa, he can walk around without having to worry about being seen.

It’s not all fun and games though, he is hoping to actually do some more investigating before they leave.

He doesn’t want to arrest the kids, so if he can just find some irrefutable evidence of wrongdoing on the part of Madice or Konoe, then he and Kaburagi will have something to work with.

Slinking in through a gap in the fence, he looks around the perimeter of the facility.

So far, so good, if he can just gain access to a lab or something, he can—

A white blur darts past Zenkichi, and he whips his head over to spot a white fox heading towards the woods.

Considering arctic foxes aren’t native to Okinawa and they don’t usually have white fur in the summer, Zenkichi’s pretty secure in assuming this is a werefox.

He chases after and being much larger catches up quickly, but it’s pretty obvious this is just a kit. It must be a little kid or something.

One that stops, so Zenkichi carefully picks them up by the scruff with his mouth.

The fox wriggles a bit before starting to turn back. Zenkichi lets them go and starts transforming too, and soon he’s face to face with Kitagawa who for some reason stops part of the way and keeps his tail.

Kitagawa looks up at Inspector Hasegawa. “Please don’t tell the others,” Kitagawa says quickly, tail tense.

Zenkichi blinks at him. “What?” Kitagawa’s not usually this… jittery.

“T-the others, they don’t know about my condition and they can’t find out.”

Wow. That’s. A lot to unpack.

“Ok, ok back up. I guess first of all, why don’t you want to tell your friends? You enter people’s hearts and steal their desires and your group includes a talking cat and a sentient AI.”

Kitagawa bites his lip. “Th-this is worse. I can’t control it.”

“Ok, second thing, what do you mean by condition? Being a werefox isn’t any more of a condition than being human is, it’s just what you are.”

“It always causes problems.”

“Kitagawa, I don’t know how to break it to you but any problems you have are probably because you don’t transform enough. Your fox self is underdeveloped.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Ok so traditionally you shift into your animal form as you grow up, and your animal form grows alongside you. Now foxes and wolves still differ a bit but considering your fox form, you can’t have shifted since you were a child. At least not very much.”

“No,” Kitagawa says.

“Which brings me to the follow up: DOESN’T THAT HURT?”

“Only a little, I’ve gotten used to it.”

Zenkichi sighs. “Ok, I won’t tell the others, but I want you to tell me why you transformed today if you don’t do it often.”

“In the jail… there were these shipping crates. A guard was coming by and Ann pulled me into one to hide, and it reminded me of when Madarame would lock me in a cage when I was younger and didn’t have as much control, and I had to stay there until I could get back to normal. Overnight I had nightmares about it and I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t transform.”

Zenkichi bites back a growl.

“I promise you, you didn’t do anything to deserve that,” Zenkichi says.

“I… was wild.”

“Sure, did you run around? Chew on people’s shoes and socks? Steal things and keep them in a little pile?” Zenkichi asks.

Kitagawa nods.

“Akane did the same things. Trust me, keeping a baby wolf contained is a lot harder than you’d think. But you’ll be able to deal with those instincts the more time you spend shifted.”

“You… really know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course.”

“I didn’t realize there were others,” Kitagawa admits.

“Tons. Us canines are pretty close knit and try to keep in touch, but there are all kinds of werecreatures. The werehawks are real pieces of work.”

“Do you know other werefoxes then?”

Oh Zenkichi knows several who will want to rip Madarame’s face off.

“Yeah! My boss is one.”

Kitagawa makes a face like he just ate something sour. “So another police officer?”

“Well, yes but she’s not— she keeps an eye out for her own.”

Kitagawa doesn’t seem impressed.

“I also know others who are not police officers,” Zenkichi says. 

“Can I meet them?”

“Yeah. But first, your friends are probably wondering where you are. You going to tell them?”

“I… I’m not ready for that.”

“Yeah, ok. Whatever you need, kid.” Zenkichi says. “But you should probably tuck that tail in first then.”

[yumichikah]

By 旧戦場

[kleineshexenkraut]

Character analysis and some headcanons

Let me ramble about Kenpachi Zaraki, his squad 11's top members and their unwritten rules with all their seriously bad or even icky connotations a bit. And also about why I think all of it is part of an actually beautiful plot about acceptance and defying the expectations of toxic masculinity.

Characters who defy expectations the narrative set for them earlier is one of my absolute favorite things! Even if the story or character in question isn't otherwise interesting to me, something like this I will always enjoy! Tite Kubo has my deep respect for all the times he did it (for every character with such moments, really). And while what I think about this particular topic here could obviously be mostly personal interpretation rather than actual intended fact, in my mind this will always stay a very touching and interesting subplot. So apologies in advance for the truly long text, buckle up!

And just in case, major spoiler alert throughout.

TW: bullying; abuse; violence; mention of homophobia

Lets first list the unwritten rules and the other bad assumptions first:

no kido-type swords allowed

no kido learning/use in general

people keep their abilities a secret

only men in the Squad

Squad 4 can be bullied

And now take a look at the people who (seemingly) enforce them, or rather what we are shown at first:

Kenpachi Zaraki – Taller and stronger than most others, described as brutal, murderous, crazy warrior who enjoys fighting more than anything else, who frequently challenges even allies to serious battles. A lot of his design would usually be chosen for villain-type characters, such as the small irises that give him a rather unfriendly glare; a too wide, mad grin that exposes pronounced canines; the large scars; an eye patch and a spiky hairdo that further underline the dangerous appearance. Combined with his general ignorance and lack of intelligence he paints the perfect stereotypical picture of a brutish, toxic alpha-male who doesn't tolerate weakness and oppresses others.

Yachiru Kusajishi - a small, cute girl with light pink hair and a generally sunny disposition who possesses a lot of power and a pretty violent streak. Lives as Kenpachi's adopted daughter until she's revealed to be part of his Zanpakuto's spirit.

Ikkaku Madarame – His design and fighting style most resemble a Shaolin monk, with a bald head and red eye-make-up (because people can argue Ikkaku having markings instead of eye-shadow all they want, it is still very clearly in the style of traditional Japanese, female eye-make-up.) A man who enjoys fighting almost as much as his leader, but with a much more pronounced intent to kill his opponents. He's easily angered and actually enjoys frightening people on occasion by deliberately making a scary face.

Yumichika Ayasegawa – A vain, narcissistic man who's obsessed with looks as much as he enjoys fighting. The long feathers he wears on his eyelashes and brow is one of the most prominent decorative accessory (at least on the side of the good guys). And while Yumichika could be a flamboyant heterosexual guy, I'd say him being homosexual makes much more sense.

And already in these short descriptions we get some breaking up of general stereotypes and it goes on. At a cursory glance Kenpachi is just a one-dimensional, all-brawn-no-brains madman and that's pretty much the impression many of the other characters have. Once you look more closely, though, there's a lot of surprising nuance. Because the brutal, bloodthirsty leader of the fight- and strength-obsessed 11th Squad we were told about, while being all of this, also:

is immediately seen getting lost several times like an idiot for comedic relief

is so lonely that he unwittingly manifested part of his soul into a child, then adopted it to carry it around for decades (The duo resembles the main characters from Lone Wolf and Cub, and I'm pretty sure that was one of the inspirations. Although the similarity ends there, not least because the protagonist in Lone Wolf and Cub follows the Samurai codex and his son is a thousand times more annoying.)

Lets Yachiru pretty much walk all over him, slapping and hair-pulling included, without any retaliation or violence directed at her ever

admires a woman as his idol and describes her as the strongest person he ever met

Has a female sword-spirit (who's in part the small, very girly girl)

Bathes everyday and styles his hair for hours

Has a gay dude and in general the guys with some of the most obvious make-up and fashion accessories as his highest ranking Squad members without giving them flak for it. (Kenpachi looked like he wore eyeliner in the anime sometimes too. He didn't in the manga, but if you look at certain anime-scenes – that's a clear design choice they made there!)

Has no interest in fighting anyone who's clearly weaker than him and does so only if he has to as part of the job or if attacked first. And will complain about it the whole time.

Lets most opponents alone once they can't fight anymore and is even annoyed whenever an opponent doesn't stay down and has to be killed for real. (This is the case with most of the serious fights. Opponents who survived are: Ichigo, Tosen, Ikkaku, Ichinose, Yammy. Nnoitra died, but only after getting the chance to stay down.)

Befriends or admires people who defeated him (Unohana, Ichigo)

Is the only one who didn't subjugate his Zanpakuto-spirit for it's abilities, but got them by being kind and loving for decades instead

is not fighting out of permanent anger, but because he enjoys a real battle like nothing else

With all of what we see from the source materials, be it manga, anime or both (yes, including filler arcs), it makes me wonder how much of the unwritten rules are conjectures done by others made on behalf of Kenpachi. Now don't get me wrong, as stated, the guy lacks self-awareness to a baffling degree and his views do limit his subordinates greatly! Discovering and getting in touch with his own strength and soul is his main character-plotline after all.

However, the question stands. How much of this is people going: “You said A, B and C – so we assumed XYZ.” (?)

People do this all the time. I'm sure we all did at some point, and hopefully were corrected and learned for the future. But that's not what automatically always happens. And the hero-worship that the 11th has for their leader is very expressive and enthusiastic. At times it even resembles the annoying level of obsession Kiyone and Sentarō show towards Ukitake. This seems to get worse after the 1000 year blood war arc. It's not hard to picture them taking Kenpachi's every word as gospel and running with it.

Everything points to captains being able to run their squads however the hell they want, with very little limitations or regard for members. Look at the 12th, Mayuri exploded unsuspecting members of his division without a second thought or repercussions. The way he treats Nemu is highly abusive, yet no one cares. At least not enough to step in or forbid this behavior. So what's not wanting to recruit certain people in comparison? No big deal, that's what it would be. Especially since there are 12 other Divisions people can pick. If these are things the captain truly wants, why are these unwritten rules?

No kido-type swords

Looking at what this does, namely Yumichika hiding his abilities from everyone even at the risk of being killed, makes this the worst one and a key issue. A Zanpakuto and it's abilities are part of a Shinigami's soul and personality. By hiding and denying his powers it's clear from the start that this man lives in an environment that wouldn't accept him for what he is. That he doesn't want to be anywhere else makes changing this issue extremely difficult to nigh impossible with this setup. And since he is depicted as a rather stereotypical gay man, it absolutely very quickly implies that this is the thinly veiled depiction of the struggle of every queer person who fears having their coming out. (Which makes it all the more sad that this hasn't been clearly resolved and might never be in canon.)

And it wouldn't be only Yumichika. Achieving even Shikai is not common and there are constantly new recruits. There will inevitably be quite a few people who discover a non-melee type Zanpakuto in time and be just as tormented about it.

The fighting style Kenpachi loves the most is direct clashing of steel on steel, up close and personal, that's stated multiple times. He can't, or rather doesn't even try to, use kido (until much later). Furthermore a lot of the opponents with kido-type abilities were relatively boring and/or disappointing to him in the end, like Tōsen and Ichinose. Often kido-abilities are distance attacks or support a fighting style that's more covert.

This, combined with the general notion he had before being defeated by Ichigo that talking with and fighting alongside one's zanpakuto is nonsense, could easily have resulted in him saying he doesn't like people having kido-zanpakuto.

On the other hand, what constitutes as kido-sword? The wiki makes the distinction between element and kido as separate types. But during the battle against Baraggan, Ōmaeda says he wished he'd have a kido-sword with flames or ice.

This makes me question whether the element-abilities are actually nothing else than kido. And if that's the case there are multiple examples for incredibly strong fighters, like head-captain Yamamoto or Hitsugaya. No one would call these two weak. His idol, Unohana, has a sword that might have acid-related abilities, which would make it another example, maybe even the most important one. That in turn makes me wonder whether he actually made this rule or whether he said something negative about several former enemies and their abilities every now and then and his Squad interpreting it as: “Obviously our captain hates kido-Zanpakuto! Therefore no one in our Squad is allowed to have one!”

Kenpachi is notorious for having little interest in anything besides fighting and his ignorance toward himself can not be overstated. The man limited his abilities, most of his talent and power unconsciously as a child to the point where he couldn't hear his own Zanpakuto nor recognize it's manifestation, then further impaired himself by adding bells that give his position away and slapping a seal on his right eye (which means no depth perception along less Reiatsu, mind).

Is this a guy one can expect to realize that people make wrong assumptions on his behalf?

Or did it go more along the lines of:

Statement: Kido-swords are lame

Assumption: No kido-type Zanpakuto allowed

Reaction: No one here has kido-swords? Less hassle for me to find people who can help them train with those.

Conclusion: People hiding their abilities

Now, Komamura did say that Kenpachi couldn't look past appearances and wasn't able to see someone's inner strength. That was after Kenpachi tried goading him into a fight, though. Komamura hid his face for over a century because he feared the rejection and enmity of others and understandably was quite vulnerable in that moment. For all that Kenpachi isn't the sharpest tool in the shed on many occasions, he does know how to get under people's skin if he puts his mind to it. But what was said earlier shows that he doesn't care about appearances at all. That he isn't shocked about Komamura's face, because a guy's appearance isn't important in a fight. He has only two criteria:

Are they strong?

Will they fight me?

That's it. Man, woman, child, shinigami, human, hollow, beast, muscular, thin, heavy, big, small, whatever else – nothing matters except these two questions. As long as the opponent actually can fight there's no discrimination because none of it is indicative of abilities. And Yumichika definitely does fight well, he's third seated officer later on with only fighting prowess sans abilities, much like Kenpachi for most of the story.

Does Yumichika really have to fear not being accepted, then?

The most beautiful resolve to this whole issue would obviously be Yumichika somehow being forced to reveal his abilities and Kenpachi just excitedly going: “Interesting! When did you learn that? Lets try it out in a sparring match!” And maybe calling him an idiot for thinking this would ever be a problem after being clued in on the worries. I can see Ikkaku being angry only because Yumichika didn't tell him the very moment he knew. Not only because I love the characters, but I genuinely think this would be most in character for them. It would unravel the awful situation and further flip the stereotypes upside down. As in having the people that were assumed to be the most biased and negative turn out to be the ones most accepting. It would solidify the found family aspect of the 11th so much more as well. And it would be a great metaphor for someone being cherished just as much for who they are after coming out. And there can't be enough of that in any media.

2. no kido learning/use in general

This ties in with the first and is already kind of negated by Kenpachi using flash step later on. If this one was ever really a thing the 11th can take him using it as example to reconsider.

3. people keep their abilities a secret

While this sounds like point one at first glance, especially after the long-ass meta earlier, it isn't quite. Ikkaku is able to use Bankai for years and has a melee-type Zanpakuto, yet still keeps it a secret. There are only a select few who know and his captain isn't one of them.

The reason he gives is that he wants to fight until he dies under Zaraki and doesn't want others constantly asking him to become a captain. While this does make sense in terms of loyalty and admiration towards Zaraki, it doesn't explain why he keeps it a secret from said captain too.

Even with the shortage of captains after Aizen's betrayal it's not very likely to get promoted into such a position without consent. If nothing else, this is a surefire way of getting bad results. So why then? Is it because he fears surpassing his leader in this regard would anger or somehow disappoint him? From everything else we see of Kenpachi there is no indicator that might be a thing. On the contrary, stronger fighters with more abilities mean better fights, even if it's just sparring.

Kenpachi tells Ichinose that fighting people without own goals is no fun and that loyalty is different to relying on people. Then there's the speech he gives to new recruits, more specifically, that he won't restrict any viewpoints nor sanction them. And this isn't just blah, the way members of Squad 11 are shown to act in his vicinity reflects this. People sit or stand when he's around and bow when the situation calls for it, like an enthusiastic deferential greeting, but there's no kneeling going on as far as we can see. And Aramaki is quite relaxed when he speaks with him. (And in the recruitment fair brochure the answer about the atmosphere in the division is: “We get along and have fun.”)

As conclusion, someone who's loyal while having their own goals and opinions should be someone he would value. Ikkaku is almost the definition of that. He's strong, skilled, independent and probably couldn't stand to be anywhere where he had to go against what he believes in. That makes me think, while admiring Zaraki as much as he does, he misunderstands a lot about the man's views.

Another example of this is what happens after Ikkaku fought Ichigo. He apologized to Kenpachi for surviving after losing. Even though the same guy explicitly told him years earlier, after he beat him in a fight, not to ask to be killed. To consider himself lucky, live, get stronger and fight again. In a way that had enough lasting impact on Ikkaku to keep on going, but apparently didn't fully register all the way.

And for all the talking on eye-level people could probably do in the 11th, people will most likely uphold the gap to higher-ups out of habit, respect, and in this particular case sometimes fear as well. Under these circumstances it makes a bit more sense where this unwillingness to show his abilities comes from. But if that's the case it very much is a misconception.

4. only men in the Squad

This is maybe the weirdest one. We don't actually know for certain if there aren't any women in the 11th, but none is ever shown.

Again, the person Kenpachi strived to be like and still admires is a woman. Yachiru (never mind what else she is) is obviously a girl and extremely strong, so her position is warranted and unquestioned outside and inside the division. Then the already mentioned things about how Kenpachi completely doesn't give a shit about appearances, only whether or not someone stands their ground. All of this could point to be the most clear indication of conjecture or a combination of unfortunate circumstances.

We got very little information about the former leader of the 11th, Kenpachi Kiganjō. Shinji describes him as a piggish slacker who never did what he was told, while Ichinose believed he had a deep sense of justice. We have even less about the rules this guy had, but the background characters that can be seen during the flashbacks are also all male. Then we can take a look at the recruitment brochure again where Zaraki's statement is that only strong guys should join. Yachiru however says no weak people should join. As far as I'm aware 'guys' can be used as a universal address for groups of people, women and men. But lets consider what a new female recruit might see/hear, especially given that the inner motivations and believes of characters aren't known to anyone but us as audience, unless explicitly shown or stated.

The Squad is full of brutish thugs who love fighting.

There are no women besides a little girl, who might be related to the leader in some way

The brochure says guys in the address

Everything people have to say about Zaraki Kenpachi - which excludes aaall the nice things we know and leaves them with the picture of the toxic masculine lunatic

Yeah, I wouldn't want to join either... As conclusion, I put this one under unfortunate, completely wrong conjecture, though.

5. Squad 4 can be bullied

We see this happened and it's obviously bad. Given, Unohana stepped in and scared the shit out of the guys who did it on her own turf, but it shouldn't be a thing in the first place. That said, does Kenpachi know about this?

Unohana was the first Kenpachi, she has an iron grip on things, and someone who was on the receiving end of her 'kind' reminder that their lives are in her Squad's hands while they're there will most likely never forget to be polite again. So there's no real reason for her to complain. Apart from that, seeing how Hanatarō said that the 4th is weak and therefore always ends up doing all the chores, like cleaning the sewers, makes me think this isn't just the 11th treating them badly. (Which again, worse still.)

Anyone beside Unohana that we see of the 4th are usually rather timid. Isane has trouble talking to other captains even after she became one herself. So...

Did anyone from the 4th ever dare to walk up to Zaraki Kenpachi to complain about his Squad being mean to them? If that mental image made you laugh even a tiny bit we are in agreement. That probably never happened. He might not know then. The question is how he would react if he found out?

One interesting thing to remember is that Kenpachi has actually little problems with regular people who are weak. Not that he meets many after joining the Gotai 13, but whenever he's around those there's no such thing as killing sprees or bouts of violent outbursts.

The issue is with anything and anyone who should be able to fight, like fellow Shinigami or Hollows, but isn't cutting it – or rather him. He is incredibly bored most of the time. As such his Squad will definitely pick up on his dissatisfaction with 'the weaklings' all around them, which could have turned into everyone is fair game. But frankly, being the power house he is, being weak applies to almost anyone including other captains and the whole 11th. Based on that there's actually little basis for them to look down on other divisions. Conjecture again, then?

We can only speculate what would happen if he found out about his Squad's behavior. He'd probably tell whoever has grievances to grow a spine and just show the ones treating them badly this isn't going to fly. At the worst this would change nothing and stay a problem. But at times he can come up with unexpected insights, especially when it comes to things he knows. More brutal, constant sparring matches with the persons in question that leave them in need of healing from the 4th may work wonders on people's attitudes. But alas, unless we get more material all is just more musings and head-canons.

[apocalypta-secundus]

3. Which of your muses is more likely to burn their food, whether or not they can cook?

6. Which of your muses sleeps the most?

9. Which of your muses drinks the most / is more likely to get drunk?

3. Which of your muses is more likely to burn their food, whether or not they can cook? Ikkaku. Dude.

6. Which of your muses sleeps the most? Narvi, she's not lazy, just prefers the nighttime. 9. Which of your muses drinks the most / is more likely to get drunk? Lyn in the Bleach verse? (Finally a verse she can drink in.)

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I think I’m halfway into Palace 4 in “Persona 5″. Honestly...not really feeling the Futaba Sakura storyline. I like the character and the mystery, but not really liking the implications of what’s going on. The past three palaces were about getting evil people to renounce their ways, sort of like giving them a conscience. We have:

1) An ephebophile gym teacher realizing it’s wrong to prey on his students

2) A greedy artist realizing it’s wrong to plagiarize/steal from his own students

3) A greedy mobster realizing that he shouldn’t value money over everything.

But with Futaba, it looks like we’re trying to cure her PTSD/depression/trauma? It’s like her sin is her trauma and we’re trying to help Futaba realize that she doesn’t need to feel the way she does. At least, that’s my read on the story since that’s how it was with the past three palaces. 

I don’t know, that feels a bit gross, especially since the game is making it seem like we can just remove a piece from a person and make them “better”. And it’s not like the characters forget who they are, their memories still remain. So it really feels like we’re trying to “remove” Futaba’s trauma, like it’s this tangible thing that can be taken away.

I don’t know, I’ll see where this story goes. If the storyline is what I think it’ll be, this is probably going to be my least favorite palace, especially since the shadows in this level are fucking bullshit. 

(Side note: I’m honestly not surprised that this game isn’t handling the theme of mental illness that well. This is Atlus, the same company that made “Trauma Center”, which featured a nurse telling a suicidal person that they should just kill themselves. So, yeah, they don’t have the best track record at this topic)

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi! Could you do a shion x reader where he has a gf that’s way of his league. Shion introduces her to the rest of the tenjiku gang. They can’t believe that the out of everyone shion managed to bag a baddie. Our dear reader loves Shion a lot 😭

It's a Shion Supremacy around here, ladies and gents!

I Mean It: Shion Madarame x Fem!Reader

wc: 636

tw: smut

masterlist

"Th-the meeting is gonna start soooooooon!"

Shion isn't whining, you note, sucking up his length and flicking your wrist around his tip before lowering back down. He's just overstimulated.

"Give me a sec, babe," you urge him, still working your mouth around his heavy cock and slurping loudly. "Need to finish." Shion doesn't protest, lacing his fingers through your hair and grunting softly. "Just relax."

All the air leaves Shion's body when you finally take him down your throat, every inch of him nestled sweetly in your beautiful mouth. He practically jumps in the driver's seat, holding onto you for dear life as you suck loudly, coming back up for air.

"'m gonna cum," he whispers huskily, squeezing his eyes shut as your head bobs up and down and you make those little gagging noises he loves. Without much effort, he tenses up and begins to stutter his hips as thick ropes of cum fill your mouth. When you've swallowed every drop, Shion pulls you up and kisses you on the mouth without hesitation.

"I'm fucking lucky," he grins, biting his lower lip and eyeing you with a hungry look. "So lucky to have a girl like you. Can't wait until they see you."

And so you walk into the pitiful warehouse, hand in hand with your beau and observing the place with a displeased look. "This is where he brings you all to meet?"

"Better here than where we were a few years ago," the blonde mutters, wrapping his arm around your waist and holding you close. "Shipyards are private but not glamorous." Shion nips at your ear playfully and you giggle, letting him caress you and say stupid things in your ear.

When you finally get to the space where the other five members are, you stand next to Shion awkwardly, noticing that there aren't any other girls.

"Shion," a white-haired man murmurs. "Who have you brought to our meeting?"

"My girlfriend," Shion pronounces proudly, smirking all the while. "I thought I'd introduce her to you before we started." A long silence precedes intense laughter from all sides of the room. They laugh so loud that it echoes, and you're stuck standing next to Shion, unsure of what to do. He pulls you ever closer, though, and his face tightens into a frown.

"You're a pretty little thing," one of the men chuckles, walking up to you and touching your hair carefully. "How much did he pay you to stand here next to him?"

"Nothing," you quip, shirking away from the man with two braids and a sleepy look about him. "I'm really his girlfriend."

"And pigs can fly," another one scoffs, rolling his red eye. You frown at him, wishing you could sneer at them and make them all believe that you're really his. But when they keep making comments about how Shion "could never" find a woman who looked, talked, or walked like you, you grab his hand.

"Come on, Shion. You don't need their approval." The conversation ceases abruptly, and you take his hand and tug him along with you. "They're just jealous."

"Hold on, hold on," a bulky man calls out before standing. "You say you're his girlfriend."

"I am."

"What side does he sleep on?" Shion isn't sure why Mochi would ask a question like that, but you reply confidently:

"He sleeps like a starfish."

"Yeah, they're fucking." Mochi grumbles, shrugging. "Shion does starfish out in the bed late at night. I'll never forget it in all my years of watching him sleep."

Shion turns to his companions and smirks again. "Such a warm welcome for my girl. Thanks, you guys."

"Congrats," Izana mutters solemnly. "You have me eating my words, Mad Dog. But just this once."

"Once is more than enough, Izana. It's more than enough!"

[the-chikyuu-times]

[macsimagines]

👉👈 I know you mentioned getting asks with similar themes but I can’t help but ask for more because god damn is the angst just… -chefs kiss-

Can the girlies (and by girlies I mean me 😔) get that Kanto!Mikey, Shion, and baby boy Shinichiro headcanons about their s/o trying to leave them because their s/o doesn’t feel good enough?

I swear I’ll give you a better idea someday 😭😭😭.

I did Mikey in a seperate post because his got out of a hand and waaaaaaaaay to big sorry I didn't give these two as much love.

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, STALKING, GASLIGHTING???

Yandere!Shion Madarame

He knows you're insecure, and he loves you, he really does, but he uses it to his advantage. Shion is more worried you're going to be scared and try to run, not like he'll ever let you, but still is very worried about what you might try so he does attempt to play into your worries to make you stay.

"I mean, ya, you can be a pain, but I still like you," he tells you after listening to you fret over how maybe he shouldn't be with someone so weak. What he doesn't say is that he wants to protect you, to guard you and love you because you're just too precious to let go.

But then you go and pull some bullshit. You actually try to break it off... "I-I can't do it anymore, Shion. I just know you need someone who can do more for you and I'm not that person..." and you actually walk out on him like that.

Now Shion would sooner tear out his own eyes than ever hurt you, but your 'breakup' isn't sitting well with him. You figured as much when you see him watching staring at you from your apartment window. He even waves.

And it gets worse from there, because now there always seems to be beatings where ever you go. The nice clerk at the corner store you visit regularly ends up being robbed and thrown out of a window, the jogger you pass by and smile to in your neighborhood ends up being jumped with his kneecaps broken, and even your coworker that always brings you coffee has somehow ended up in accident... People are dropping like flys...

Shion pays you a visit one day. He's actually sitting in your apartment when you get off one night. You're already not happy because you just heard an old friend from high school had somehow ended up with a cracked skull...

But you find Shion just sitting at the foot of your bed... With hands caked in drying blood, smiling at you like you just told him he had won a million dollars.

"How many more?" he asks you, "Wh-what? Shion what're you-" "How many more people are in our way, Y/N? Tell me so I can take care of 'em."

Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

Oh how much this one loves you could bring all the greatest of romantics to shame. Too bad he's such a goofball. And honestly, that suits you fine. You two are perfect for each other like that.

You're both playful, a little silly, and you two have fun together. But then you see it. The importance of Shinichiro Sano. Men, powerful men, come to him for guidance and respect his own authority.

That makes you feel so small. You actually can't believe how many influential people he has at his beck and call, the ones that call him a leader. And where could someone, who's a little bit goofy and a lot of bit awkward possibly fit into his world.

You tell him as much and it almost brings him to tears. "You're just... you're so much more than I am-!" "I am nothing without you! How could you even think that!?"

And you two argue like that all the time, back and forth, about how you know he's too important to waste his time, and how you're too important to loose. But boy does he feel like he's loosing you....

"I gave it all up. I don't need that if I don't have you." "You had it before me, you can't just stop being so important." But he isn't important, you make him feel important...

Once, you tried to mention that maybe he could do better and he reached hysterics. It honestly terrified you, not because he was violent but because you saw that he had the potential to be.

Grabbing your arms in his hands with a crushing grip, one you knew could break bones if they really wanted to, and holding you so tight that you couldn't even budge if you wanted to.

"I don't want anyone else!" he had hissed, "I don't need anyone else! This is it! For you and me!" its no longer comforting words but demands of submission now. Like he needs you to top bringing the topic up altogether.

And you do. Not because you want to or because you're suddenly convinced. But because you're too scared now. You've noticed eyes on your everywhere you go, you even tell Shinichiro about it.

"Oh? Him? He worked under me back in the day. Told him to keep an eye out for you." "Wh-what!? Why!?" "Keep you safe. Keep you from doing something stupid."

You figured you're not the only insecure one....

[chao-thicc-hcs]

Hi, how are you? I read your work, “It hurts when I realize I’ll never mean that much to someone, and it’s all my fault”, and I would like to request a sequel? Could you please include sanzu, rindou, baji and mikey? It also doesn’t have to be those characters, you can choose whoever, but I’d love to see sanzu especially! Thank you for your hard work and if you take the time to consider this! Love your works and small note, for English not being your mother language, it seems near perfect!❤️❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words, anon! I hope my future works will bring the same amout of joy as now!

And sorry for the delay!

I won't include Mikey and Baji, I don't rlly have ideas for them

It hurts when I realize I’ll never mean that much to someone, and it's all my fault. - the sequel [x reader]

ft. kakucho hitto, shinichiro sano, ran haitani, shion madarame + sanzu haruchiyo, rindou haitani

; when the turn tables. once, you were nothing to them, despite all of your efforts, now, fed up with all the pain they made you go through, they became nothing to you. ;

genre: heavy angst, no comfort at all (only fluff at rindou's ending)

tw!!: gn!reader, one-sided firendship/relationship, gun pointing, mentions of abuse, bullying, mentions of blood, abuse, cheating, reader snapping at the end, murder, mentions of suicide, alcohol problems, drug abusing, seizures, self-harm, necrophilia

kakucho (sequel).

Never in his life people have been so important to him, so important that their words pierced like a pitchfork.

He knew he was a villain, he knew he hurt innocent people, and this has never bothered him until now. So, how could you, a mere citizen, make him feel sick to his guts, make him tear up, cry, and coop himself up in a tiny room filled to the brim with dirty laundry.

Something deep in him knew you were special, despite all of the years denying you and assuming you're vile. In the end his anger issues and trust issues won, but at what cost?

You were able to help him, eradicate his pain and suffering, color his life and bring some joy. However, he missed his chance and now he's left only with the shotgun and cigarettes in his hand.

shinichiro (sequel).

He knew he hurt you and went over your limits, so it didn't shock him you were never willing to forgive him.

It was understandable, he left a deep wound that led to you losing your spark, miserable and insecure even until today and refusing to let others near you, embarassed to even show your face. He made you cry and isolate yourself as excruciating thoughts of ''never being good enough'' were flashing through your mind all these years.

He lost your trust for people that don't even reach up to him anymore, he doesn't even remember them himself.

Sano was smoking in front of your school, carefully watching how you were sitting under a tree, using your laptop and munching on your lunch. He was smiling at the sight of you tapping with your fingers on the device and taking your time to think of what to write down, even after the awkward encounter.

As he finished the cigarette, Shinichiro glanced once more at your figure, running towards the school entrance. He chuckled and turned around heading to his shop.

. . . .

Realizing his fate laying down on the floor as blood was pouring out of his head, the muffled police and ambulance sirens getting weaker as he starts losing his consciousness, Shinichiro was happy you were one of the last people he saw this day.

But you were not happy that your last goodbye with him was with his cold body in a coffin.

ran (sequel)

To his surprise he got over it pretty quickly, cursing the day he cried in front of you, instead of just killing you and that twink of a guard. He claims that he's gotten over it all, but even after months this encounter is still causing him random anger outbursts, driving him to insanity and even a desire to kill his own brother just to alleviate his anger. Ran seemed way more erratic, unstable and quick to anger as days passed by. The man tried to ease this by sleeping with women, but lowered his guard and ended up used by every single one of them.

Now he knew what it was like, being used up and then thrown on the ground, laughed at and left overthinking everything from the past weeks with a bottle of liquor and puffy, sleepless expression.

He also lost custody of his child and the mother filed a restraining order against both of them after he hit her and his child.

Ran stalked you, waiting for the perfect day to get his revenge. However you're not stupid, you knew he would be a pain in the ass and hired a guard, who works for another, albeit small, powerful mafia.

He deleted all of his social media, stopped going that much outside and settled down to work from home, eradicated all evidence of his exsistence, just so you think he's dead or just dissappeared, lower your guard and blunt your intuition. He bought extentions, dyed his hair to match them, and dressed blandly. Eventually he was able to abduct you and lock you in his basement, turning you into his favourite toy.

Even after your heart stopped beating, he was still enjoying the feeling of you between his thighs.

Is this what insanity feels like?

shion. (sequel)

His mind was still conscious while you were assaulting him, ruthlessly impaling him with the sharp item in your hand. He was able to process a glimpse of the things you were doing to him, a tiny teardrop going down his cheeks, as his eyes lost all color. He attempted to reach for your chin and feel you for the last time, but this is when you did the fatal blow that ended his life.

You opened your leather backpack and took out the food you bought before, casually sitting on his lifeless body, eating as the burger buns soaked the blood on your hands. ''It tastes better with a nice view.'' you mumbled.

Couple of years passed and you were sitting there, looking at your new lover, who happened to resemble Shion immaculately. The hair, the stern look, the physique. All the same. But at the same time radically different in spiritual terms. His demeanor meek and gentle. You felt the chills every time you looked in his eyes for longer than 2 seconds, reminiscing your past with the blonde.

It felt weird, anxiety creeping on your bones and nerves when he approaches you, still not over your abusive ex, the resemblance was uncanny. And the memories of you almost beheading him oftentimes flashed through your mind, what matters is that nobody will ever find out. You have your own tricks on how to get away with murder.

sanzu (+sequel)

Your mind was going in all shades of the rainbow as Sanzu was screaming at you in gibberish, equally as high as you.

He managed to get you into taking drugs with him so it could be easier to mentally damage you and chain you to himself. He succeeded, you were addicted to him and his pills, waiting eagerly everyday for your dose of brief embarking in another universe. Your brain was fried and you were on the verge of blacking out, just like every night. You don't know why aren't you already used to it. His screeching pounding on the inside of your skull, your eyes bloodshot red from the lack of sleep and you not blinking at all, staring at one spot, shaking like a leaf.

- You're nothing without me! You're miserable, you are ready to follow like a dog, drenching yourself with a concoction of tears and blood for someone else's benefit, you're worthless and have absolutely no value!

Overdosing on those potent drugs tickled his anger issues and made him almost kill you every time he encountered you while in this state, you were about to go in your room when he threw a chair at you and it hit your ankle, causing you to fall down and shriek in pain. You were unable to move, you were already tired from crying and skipping meals, hugging yourself as cold sweat went down your body.

-L-leave me a-al- you couldn't even finish a sentence without stuttering and zoning out or forgetting how to pronounce words.

-Oh heck yeah I will leave you alone, I will leave you here crying and screeching while I go on with my life and fuck others relentlessly while you are only left with missing my touch and drugs, craving me like a piece of meat! The others will be screaming my name and ending drenched in my juices and you still won't even have the courage to leave me.

You've known him since childhood, you grew up together, played games, and crushed on each other. However due to your strict upbringing, both of you waited until you were old enough to handle a relationship, but everything got worse over the years, with Sanzu's overflowing worshipping of Mikey and his growing intimacy with pills, and your deteriorating relationship with your parents, mental state, failures and you losing yourself over someone who didn't even love you.

The cheating, the manipulation, the abuse, this wasn't the Sanzu you grew up and played hopscotch with, you didn't even know who he had become. You were desperate to make things work, and forced yourself to dodrugs with him, hoping he will at least love you more if you shared ''hobbies''. And there he was now, proving once again all your work was futile, using the most dastardly words known to human to degrade you and make you feel small in your own house. You knew you would still feel pain, but consented anyways, because deep down was a searing love for this man.

You still loved him, every time you were sober, you were there to help him with the headaches and stomachaches, patched up his wounds. Sanzu never talked to you when he was sober, though, he ignored you and only paid attention to you only if it was related to his gang or using you to his advantage.

He even reached so far to make you watch him have the most gut-wrenching intercourse with a random cheap lowlife he hooked up with, enjoying how you cry for him and whimper in hurt and betrayal.

Sanzu liked to see you beg for the smallest things. He just felt like nagging with you all the time, so he tried his best to find the smallest mistakes and nitpick on them, growing the stems of your insecurities.

There were days where he didn't even look at you, slept on the couch, made himself food, and just acted like you were an inanimate object. Walked past you and didn't bat an eye if he accidentaly bumped into you. Your sanity depended on his mood and behavior.

The silence between you was loud, too loud it made your head hurt and feel heavy. He would take all your money, because ''you didn't deserve them since you don't bring anything to the table'', took away everything he didn't like that you buy because ''it's too ugly in his opinion''.

He did try leaving you, but he wasn't able to manipulate other people into staying with him, nobody was able to stand his erratic behaviour when he was high. You were feeble-minded and he already managed to imprison you and make you his puppy, so why leave you and waste all his ''effort''?

The day you snapped is engraved between his brain folds, the way you looked, the tears, the blood from your body, the messy hair, the torn clothes, your words filled with poison and pain. And especially, your eyes filled with fury and contempt. It was the first time he felt hurt seeing what his tomfoolery led you to.

. . . . . .

You overdosed on pills, cut your hair, cried and inflicted harm on yourself. Sanzu was sober, to his surprise, but finally saw what it was like being high, you were just an alternative version of his intoxicated state. You've had enough of this torture of a relationship.

- Y/n...? Did you fucking inhale my damn pills? - Sanzu tried hiding the shaking of his voice, but didn't succeed.

- N-no, I-i just - something in you snapped all of a sudden and you impulsively took a sharp glass shard from the broken bottle of alcohol you drank alongside the pills. Glenfarclas 12 year old single malt scotch whisky, both of you's favourite alcohol, drinking a glass of it after a fight to soothe the bitterness between you. Something propelled you to scream like crazy and swing the piece trying to impale the person you once called your lover, who was evading all of it, but tripped and fell to his nates.

Sanzu tried to look stern, but he was panting like crazy and looking around in panic, trying to find a way to escape. But when he turned his head towards you, suddenly, your eyes had a different sparkle and emotion in them that made him relax. Even if you wanted him dead that moment, he still managed to hit your soft spot with just his presence. All of your memories together, good and bad, he is still Haruchiyo Akashi. You still held hope. Whilst reaching out to hug him, your hands drowning in blood, yearning to hug him and feel his hands wrap around you like a precious ornament, suddenly your eyes went upward, mind and vision blank. You started having a seizure, but he didn't want to call an ambulance, as they will inform the police and arrest him for drug possesion. Instinctively, he grabbed his bag and ran away, leaving you there.

You had a brain hemorrhage, the pills and alcohol shutted down everything in your system, causing you to flatline. He just left you there to decompose.

The neighbors found you when the stench of your rotting carcass was spreading around, weeks after the incident. You were cremated by your parents' wish, because you had no ''true'' family in the first place that would want to burden themselves to cover the expenses of the funeral, but they kept your ashes in a small urn in your old bedroom.

. . . .

Ten years, ten damned years and this was still making him go insane. After the accident with you his life went downhill. He couldn't focus on his work, increased his dose and failed to complete everything he was assigned. He pretended to not give a shit about you, not at all, or at least he tried, albeit failing.

He actually felt something.... could it be, despondency? From a person who he saw as nothing? He lost his precious toy, the only person who could handle him. Eventually he was kicked out from the gang, got submerged with bills and debt, and ended up homeless, with stubble on his face and alopecia because of the severe stress he was subjected to.

Every time he remembered you his stomach was tickling, he realized he had a close bond with you, he realized you could've actually help him and drag him out of the shithole and help him reach the catharsis of becoming a better self. Since early childhood you saved him from thousands of troubles he involved himself into, gave your sholder for him to cry on, allowed him to be vulnerable in your embrace and filled his body with a new, purer blood, and now you're gone, probably laughing at him from the outerworld. Sanzu was not able to afford drugs anymore, and his sobriety stabilized his senses, and he realized how special you were. The only beam of hope and warmth.

Thankfully the apartment you died in was never rented by anyone. Rumours swiftly spread after your death, people thought your ghost was roaming there and were too scared to even glance at the front door engulfed in spider webs. Sanzu often visited the place to sleep in and stared at the dry blood on the ground and walls, crying and cursing himself for leading you to this.

rindou (+sequel)

The feeling of being overpowered by his brother and constantly living in his shadow plagued Rindou's mind. All the applause and credit for the hard work he was busting his ass for was aimed at his brother. Ran was the one who took the credit and profited more, leading him into becoming an insufferable stuck-up, who only got in his way, as Rindou was always saying.

His inferiority complex rooted from there his mental state and confidence went downhill, and he couldn't stand still nor remain calm without some form of reassurance, so he frequently organized pity parties and his co-workers had to bear with his whining. Unfortunately you were the victim of the self-conscious man, allowing yourself to fall into a trap of thorns and venomous snakes piercing your spiritual flesh. Rindou made sure to make you pity him, to make you feel the same way he does, just so he could ease his soul.

He loved you, he really did, so he wanted to share emotions with you, he wanted to teach you to be strong, so you don't get hurt just like him. From trying to stop you from doing what you love and saying how awful you are to even hiding all your stuff just so you don't experience the joy of succeeding in something, just because of his own bullshit.

You still wanted to work somewhere, you wanted your own money, because Rindou would never spoil you or give you anything money related, because he perceived them as the only reward he will ever recieve. He would even go far as to complete tasks assigned for you and gain all the credit.

- Baby, please, let me finish my work! - you pleaded as he was holding your laptop, deleting the files you spent days working on

You felt your blood boil, but the only thing you could do is watch him how he sat on the couch and continued writing, not even bothering to look at you or react to your cries.

- Make me food, please, I have a lot of work to do.

He deemed you weak if you cried, the only time he could try and apologize was when he had a hidden objective to fuck you. By his words, this was the only way to teach you how life actually works, so he didn't actually do any harm, at least that's what he preached. Rindou would seek empathy from you constantly, even after he mentally destroyed you just seconds ago.

Rindou took some rest from work. He loved spending time with you and analyzing every reaction you show as he was sitting on the couch with his hands intertwined infront of his mouth. The man slept almost all day with you, until sunset and still woke up before you. One blissful afternoon, right when the cocktail of sunset's colors were engulfing the sky, placing your head on his chest, you closed your eyes and fell into a deep slumber.

- Y/n, baby? - after what seemed for an hour he shook you awake from the nap you were taking on his chest, snuggled in a silk bedsheet as the sunset colors were touching the room

- Mhh, yes, honey? - you stood up and lazily rubbed your eyes, leaning in for a kiss

- I am worried. Now Ran will have even more time boasting about stuff he didn't do and will make me seem like a loser... and now I'm yet again useless, and he is currently probably living his best life, our co-workers praising him. - he said as a forced sigh came out of his mouth

The same questions, the same statement, for the 3rd time today. Your whole mood sunk to the ground and you tried to conceal your sigh of exasperation with a sweet smile on your face. He woke you up from your peaceful dream just to act like a brat.

- No, baby, you're better than him for the sole reason you do something productive, he's only there for decor, once people realize how useless he is you will gain your fame and he will be swiftly forgotten.

Rindou wrinkled his nose in disbelief, turning his head around and scoffed. This was one of his master tricks to receive a double shot of ego boost and new ideas to make you feel inferior to him. Even his own brother warned you about this behaviour, even encouraged you to run away as soon as you can, unfortunately you were taking a swim in pink clouds.

- Nah, you're still drowsy you can't even process information right now. I know you think of him all the time when I happen to fail, because you wished someone more competent was in your life.

- You know what? Yeah, you're actually a sore loser. - you blurted out with a raspy voice. Getting up from the bed, you went to the bathroom and took a fast shower. Grabbing the sexiest outfit you could find, fixing your hair, not even acknowledging Rindou's piercing glare. After half an hour you and aimed to the door, swinging your hips and leaving a trail of a heavy yet alluring perfume, the one you usually get more compliments for

- And where are you going? - Rindou asked as he was blocking your way to the entrance, towering over you, eyes filled with emptiness

- I am sick of being your punching bag, Rindou. Have you ever wondered why you're so miserable? Because you're weak, and if you go on with it, your brother will continue overshadowing you while you remain at the bottom. Grow a thicker skin and move on instead of asking for pity all the time. You're a child trapped in a grown man's body.

Before rushing out, you turned around and approached him. Towering over his laying figure, you began your taunting session.

- It's funny how you think that the only way to cope with the fact that you're insecure is by projecting your own issues onto others. Has Ran ever been laughed at and pitied? No. He's a real man who can handle his emotions and manage to do his own work without the help of his illiterate brother. Have you actually wondered why you're always the laughingstock? Tried to talk to your brother? You only sit and whine like a whore. All this time the ''work'' you've been doing for him was constantly the subject of a good laughter. You never acutally did your job correctly out of spite towards your own blood, but Ran had to correct you and then he enjoyed himself with a glass of whine, laughing at your kindergarten-level grammar mistakes with your co-workers while I'm sitting on his lap. His fame is deserved, and you will always remain in his shadow, alone and insecure, just how it should be.

You ran outside from the backdoor and head towards Ran's place, taking Rindou's car. You wanted to finally feel loved, and you remembered a conversation you had with Ran when your relationship with Rindou had just begun.

Your first conversation with the older Haitani was behind their bar, while you were waiting for Rindou to arrive. It took Ran embarrassingly long time until he broke the silence while

- My brother will damage you, angel. A pretty face like you doesn't deserve to be bothered with my brother's twisted fantasies of what a relationship is. I will make your life better.

You huffed in annoyance and crossed your arms, twitching an eyebrow and averting your gaze to somewhere else.

- Rindou always warned me about you, how you're always trying to steal everything from him, how you hate his guts and enjoy his suffering and blah blah. I know these old dusty tricks, I ain't getting fooled. You're always trying to overshadow him and steal his happiness away, and now even me, but I don't even like you. I know you're lying, you're a disgrace of a brother and never deserved your fame.

Looking back at this you realized how horribly wrong you were about your thoughtless trust in Rindou's words towards his brother. Fortunately Ran was not annoyed nor agitated, but still offered you help and shelter for when you realize that you were wrong about him. And there you were, kissing his lips and rubbing against him with unabashed passion and lust.

- I knew you will come to me, baby, I've waited so long for you. - he said as he moved his hips to match your rythm.

You spent the night with him, getting drunk and nasty. You unveiled a side of you that even you weren't aware you had, but it was an unbelievable night mixed with lecherous emotions. Ran was able to make you relax and be yourself without. You felt wanted, appreciated and all your craving needs were fulfilled this very night.

- No wonder you are the better brother. - you exclaimed in a slight laughter while hugging Ran's bare chest, sweaty from what was like your fourth session already

He smirked and turned to face you, embracing your figure under the moonlight creeping through the small gaps in his curtains. However, this sweety-lovely moment was swiftly ruined by Rindou kicking the door to Ran's bedroom, eyes filled with frenzied fury. Ran jolted and grabbed his gun that was on his nightstand, pointed it at his own brother and covered your figure with the blankets.

- What the fuck are you doing here, Rindou!

- Oh, no, dear brother, what are YOU doing with my lover! - Rindou screeched as he threw himsef on him.

Ran didn't want to harm him, but protecting you was his current priority, he managed to shoot Rindou in his shoulder and knock him down as he screamed in pain, holding his bleeding gash for dear life, his vision going blurry from all the anguish he was feeling. As much as he despised his brother's attitude and wanted him gone, Ran took him to the ER with you for his wound to be taken care of. The older lad tried to play it smooth but the anxiety could be spotted in his eyes and his hands were shaking.

You were sitting in front of the room Rindou was in, cold, still and stiff, looking at the ground and refusing to make eye contact with the older Haitani, who was sitting next to you, one arm massaging your nape.

After what seemed like an eternity, one of the surgeons left the room. Mikey, Sanzu, Kakucho and Kokonoi were already there. The surgeon's merry expression eased the atmosphere and it felt like all the world's weight came off all of you's shoulders.

- The boy is in a decent condition and we removed the bullet successfully. However, we have a suspicion his glenohumeral joint and humerus are affected. We have to perform an x-ray and a neurovascular exam to see if any bones are broken. But keep in mind if something is affected, the rehabilitation process involves gradually increasing activities to restore muscle strength, joint motion and flexibility. Now he needs to rest and is currently sound asleep.

Everyone smiled and cheered that Rindou made it alive. For a moment Ran thought he had affected a vital organ, fortunately he didn't. You felt tears coming out of your tears, becoming a potion of emotions as Ran wrapped his hands around you. Both of you felt immense guilt forming inside, mixed with sadness and joy. You were blaming yourself for everything and couldn't think how you will ever muster the courage to ever speak to Rin again or even look him in the eyes.

- Do you want a ride home? I can see both of you are tired and need some rest. - Kakucho mumbled as he was spinning his car keys on his finger

- We wouldn't mind, I will come pick my car tomorrow, my hands are too shaky to handle the wheel. - Ran retorted and thanked his friend

The ride home was awkward. Ran's arm was caressing your exposed thigh as you were snuggled in his jacket, staring outside the window. Everything seemed fuzzier and faster than usual, probably because you were lost in thoughts about Rindou. Ran was staring lovingly at your features and brushed your hair with his fingers, which snapped you out from your contemplations.

- How are you feeling, sweetcheeks?

- Could've been better. I want to go home and just fall asleep.. - you retorted and snuggled in him, wrapping a hand around his waist

He kissed the top of your head and brushed your hair and massaged your scalp, which led you to fall asleep under his touch. Ran carried you bridal style to his bedroom and placed you to sleep. You woke up some time later with his broad figure laying next to you to change your clothes.

- I think we need to cease our relations for now. For Rindou. I don't want to do him even dirtier than I've already did. - you nodded and hummed in approval, then went back to sleep

. . . .

Rindou got discharged with a fracture in his humerus and a torn glenohumeral joint. He didn't seem to be upset nor was acting maliciously towards both of you. What was even weirder was the fact he is happier than his usual self, albeit after your betrayal. He was constantly under yours and Ran's surveillance.

Both of you were sitting at a bench, waiting for the older Haitani to come back with the drinks and food. You were playing with a street cat that approached you, and Rin was smiling at your interactions.

- Can you put it on my lap?

You obliged and placed the silver tabby on his lap, who seemed not to mind at all and made itself comfortable. A very obedient and cuddly creature that took a liking to the younger Haitani. The cat transformed itself into a loaf and sat there. You were smiling and petting the purring animal, just when Ran came back with the food.

- What a lovely creature, but be careful, it might have fleas. - he scoffed and sat down

- There isn't a bigger sucker than you, brother. - Rindou slyly added and made u giggle, to which Ran threw his drink in his face

All of you sat there, eating peacefully and discussing random matters, giving the tabby some food too, arguing about it's gender, what name to give it and where will it live. There was a moment of silence after before Rindou spoke up.

- I'm not mad. Contrary, I even have a proposal. - that part made you and Ran choke, staring at Rindou with both worry and anticipation - why don't we engage in polyamory?

That sentence perplexed you. Your face was beet red and you almost dropped your food. Your lost all color from your skin when you turned to Ran, who was smiling like a cocaine addict nodding in acceptance

- Ran?? Rindou?? You're okay with this? - you shouted and only got a laughter from the two of them in response

- I know I was a total asshole towards you. - Rin blurted out, the atmosphere turing gloomy- With my inferiority complex and self-hatred, the only thing I inflicted was pain on you, rather than stabilizing myself and our relationship. I deserved to get cheated on, you deserved solace and the love I never managed to give you. But I still have as equally deep feelings as when I first got to know you. And I never want to lose you or my brother. I don't want us acting like strangers and avoiding each other.

Rindou took your hands and squeezed them tight in anticipation and anxiety of you rejecting him and leaving with his brother. In fact, he doesn't want to lose you and watch you with his own blood, albeit telling you he doesn't feel bad. It's eating him up on the inside, it's draining all life from him. He can't sleep, nor eat properly without his guts twisting in regret from all the suffering and torment he put you through. And the way his brother did the exact opposite.

- I-if you don't really mind... - you scratched your nape and held each one of them's hand in approval - I aggree..

You blushed and barely had the courage to muster your response. You were going to be with the hottest men you've ever laid eyes upon. The thought of being between them every night, sharing everything with them, even your own self, was exciting and simultaneously terrifying. Tears started forming in your eyes and you couldn't hold yourself from sobbing.

- What's wrong, baby?? - Rindou softly asked and both Haitanis hugged you tightly

- I'm afraid I won't be good enough... And that you will probably leave me for someone else.. I will not be able to satisfy you, I'm just a mere person while both of you hold power in your hands - you sobbed and snuggled between their embrace

- We never will, we promise. - the older Haitani retorted and kissed your cheek - You're our one and only we want to spend our lives with..

a/n: It took me way too long to be able to write again. I'm sorry for the long delay

[apocalypta-secundus]

[seijorhi]

Asymmetry

an anonymous commission <;33

Haitani Ran x female reader x Haitani Rindou

wc 3.8k

tw infidelity(ish?), yandere vibes, implied violence, toxic relationships

The idea of soulmates sounds so lovely in your head. 

The name that graces the skin of your forearm is supposed to be a gift. A blessing bestowed on the few; a partner born to love them in a way nobody else could ever hope to match.

That’s certainly how it was for your grandparents, for the sweet couple who live down the hall from you. 

A shame then, that your reality is far less rose tinted.

—

The woman behind the counter doesn’t ask any questions when you arrive ten minutes early, cash in hand and a nervous expression on your face.

“There’s no undoing this once it’s done,” she tells you, leading you out into the dingy back parlour, complete with yellowed, flickering fluorescents overhead. “And it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”

Undeterred, you nod. “I know.”

There’s a lone seat in the centre of the room, an old school style barber’s chair, covered in worn red leather and stretched out into a reclining position. Not for ease of access or to make you more comfortable during the procedure, but because once she injects the serum into your arm, the pain’s more than likely going to cause you to pass out.

At least, that’s what you’d read. 

No one bothered to sugar coat this. The process of removing one’s soulmate mark isn’t to be taken lightly – the few genuine articles you’d managed to scrounge up had painted a grim picture. You’re ripping away a piece of yourself, obliterating a bond you were born with, or at least any visible sign of it; of course it’s going to hurt. 

It’ll be agony. 

Jerking her chin towards the seat and watching you awkwardly clamber on up, the woman sighs, “You know, if this is all ‘cause you and the boyfriend had a big, blowout fight–”

“It’s not,” you hasten to assure her, though you doubt she genuinely cares one way or the other. More likely, she just doesn’t want you coming back and complaining if in two weeks you suddenly decide you’re blissfully in love again. 

Fat chance of that happening.

—

You sent him a message once. 

Late at night, at your best friend’s giggling insistence. It was only a line or two, a tentative hand reached out across the internet.

I know this is kinda out of the blue, but I think you might be my soulmate?

If he ever saw it, he didn’t bother to reply. 

—

“Holy fuck, you’re Rin’s girl!”

The delighted cackle doesn’t put your heart at ease, nor do the fingers tightly gripping your wrist, wrenching it back at an awkward angle to get a better look.

“W-what?”

In your defence, nothing about this situation makes much sense. 

Your date is lying hunched over and moaning on the pavement, having made the mistake of accidentally knocking into the tattooed blond currently cutting off circulation in your arm as the two of you were exiting your train. 

And you’re sure that he’d been about to hit you too, a wild look in his eyes as he’d whirled – only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of your forearm. Or, more specifically, the shimmering letters of the name etched into said forearm. 

Haitani Rindou.

“The fuck you doing with this asshole?” he laughs, easing his grip only when a small, discomforted noise escapes you. That amusement, however, fades when he regards your date once more, “You blind or something? Messing ‘round with a taken woman – one who’s got a damn soulmate at that? You that fuckin’ desperate to get your dick wet?”

Another vicious kick to his midsection, and your date grunts while you watch on in mute horror.

The blond spits on him for good measure, turning back to face you with a wide grin. “Ignore him. Name’s Madarame, you wanna come meet your soulmate?”

In hindsight, the massive red flags there should’ve been your first sign to run. 

You hadn’t, though. Partially because the arm Madarame slung over your shoulder gave you very little choice in the matter, but mostly because despite everything, you couldn’t deny that there was a part of you that wanted this.

How could you not? 

It occurs to you, as the blond leads you through the streets of Shinjuku, that there’s every chance he’s lying, that you’ve essentially followed a violent, quite possibly unhinged delinquent off to god knows where, and if you end up dead in an alleyway tonight you’ll only have yourself and your stupid romantic idealism to blame. 

Thankfully, though, the two of you arrive at a neon lit bar near Kabukicho. Apprehension flutters in your stomach, a potent mix of fear and excitement, and it must show on your face because Madarame winks, holding the door open for you. “Ladies first.”

You’ve dreamed of meeting your Rindou a hundred times before, thousands. Of meet cutes where you’d stumble over each other in a coffee shop, or on a night out dancing with your friends. Maybe he’d track you down somehow, and you’d find him nervously waiting for you out the front of your work one afternoon, flowers in hand. 

The specifics were always up in the air, ever changing. The one thing that remained a constant was that you’d recognize him the moment you saw him. You’d just know. 

And you do. Sitting in a booth towards the back of the bar, nursing a glass of clear amber liquid, violet eyes meet yours and you physically feel the pleasant zing of electricity that shoots through you as your heart skips a beat.

It’s as if the rest of the world falls away. You’re not sure if you’re even breathing, standing there, softly gaping at your soulmate from across the room. Doesn’t matter, you don’t need oxygen. 

You don’t need anything.

He’s… beautiful. There’s no other word for it. Hooded, violet eyes with long, fair eyelashes that sweep along his cheekbones. His jaw’s sharp, lips a soft cupid's bow. Even his hair – blond streaked with pale blue, carelessly pulled back into a bun – isn’t as jarring as it should be. It suits him. 

So swept up in the moment, you fail to notice the long legged, dark haired beauty who saunters across the floor and settles into the booth beside him. Until painted red lips press against his jaw in a sultry kiss, that is, her hand slipping beneath the table to stroke at his thigh. 

“Rin, baby, I’m bored,” she pouts.

Your stomach flips, the bright smile that’d appeared unbeknownst to you freezing upon your visage. 

“Aren’tcha gonna go say hi?” Madarame snickers, giving you a little push that has you stumbling awkwardly forward.

People are staring now. Your mouth opens, then closes, cheeks burning as you glance between the two of them.

You need to do something – move, leave, speak; anything – and yet the longer you stand there under the weight of that bored gaze, the more you flounder.

Rationally, you know you have no right to the hurt that tightens in your chest at the sight of another girl pawing at him. You don’t own him anymore than he owns you, soulmates or not you’re still strangers, and you can hardly criticise him for doing something you yourself were guilty of.

You know all that, and it doesn’t lessen the sting any.

“Shion, don’t be rude,” a new voice interrupts. Dragging your eyes from your soulmate, you notice a taller man with braids approaching, a grin tugging at familiar looking features.

Rindou’s brother, you guess, judging from those startling, violet eyes boring into you. 

“It’s not every day we get to meet Rin’s lovely little soulmate.”

You think it might have been better if someone just came up and slapped you across the face instead. 

He… knows who you are? Which would mean that–

Jerking your head back to Rindou and the woman (his girlfriend? Lover? Fling?) you don’t know what you’re expecting to see. Cold apathy, however, isn’t it.

“I–” you begin, unsure of what exactly it is that you’re trying to say. 

In the end, it makes no difference. He’s already turning his attention back to the girl to mumble something in her ear that has her giggling, brushing you off without so much as a word. 

As if you’re nothing.

Something within your heart cracks, jagged edges catching with every breath you force into your lungs. It’s not merely a dismissal, it’s an outright rejection – of you, your bond, everything. 

He doesn’t want you.

He doesn’t even know you and he doesn’t want you. 

Your whole life you’ve waited for this moment, built it up in your head, imagined it every which way. How it would feel to see him for the first time, the conversations the two of you would share, the life you’d lead together.

Dreamed of what it would be like to be loved like that, unconditionally, unwavering, with every inch of their being. 

This is more than cruel, this is the shattering of your very foundations – and it’s playing out like a tragedy for his friends at the bar to drink down and revel in. 

Hot, fat tears well up, glistening at your waterline, a thick lump of choked back emotions sitting heavy in your throat. 

Making a split second decision, you try to step back, to flee, taking your bitter, burning humiliation with you, only Madarame seems to have anticipated the move, placing himself between you and the door, blocking your exit. 

Rindou’s brother, now directly in front of you, smiles delightedly at your stricken expression. “Don’t be shy, now,” he says, extending a pale, long fingered hand. “He’s just dying to meet you.”

—

The universe, you decide, is a cruel, hateful thing.

You’d spent hours stuck at that bar; Rindou ignoring you in favour of the voluptuous brunette on his lap, his brother Ran pouring you drink after drink, perfectly content with carrying on a one-sided conversation with you whilst you sat hands balled into fists in your lap, willing yourself not to cry.

Without a doubt, it was the single worst night of your life, and still, upon returning back to your apartment and collapsing into a fit of heart wrenching sobs, you resolved that you’d find some way of coming to terms with it. 

Your soulmate didn’t love you, didn’t want you. That didn’t have to mean your life was over. Plenty of people found love and happiness without a soulmate, who’s to say that you couldn’t do the same after the dust and tears settle?

Perhaps the universe chose wrong and the mark on your arm was never meant to exist in the first place, like a calf born with two heads, destined to die through the night.

You weren’t going to beg for love, not from someone who so clearly wanted nothing to do with you. What else was left for you to do but pick up the broken pieces of yourself and move on as best you could?

That’s how it was supposed to have gone. One awful night you’d strive to forget, a name on your arm that didn’t truly belong to you. 

And perhaps it might have, if not for Haitani Ran.

—

You’re burning from the inside out, mouth locked open in a soundless shriek, violently thrashing against the chair’s restraints.

They promised you’d pass out.

Oh god, why won’t you pass out?

—

There’s a mark on Ran’s arm too, elegant script laying out another girl’s name. Sleeves pushed up to his elbows, his arm dangling from your shoulder, it’s hard to ignore. 

Once upon a time, either in the days following your initial message or at some point before that, Rindou had looked you up. 

(Decided you weren’t worth it.)

You wonder distantly whether Ran’s done the same for her. Whether he cares at all about the girl – woman, you suppose – bound to him, because he certainly doesn’t act like it when he’s around you.

“I lost my job today,” you murmur, staring vacantly off in the direction Rin and this week’s fling had disappeared.

This one had the nerve to throw you a smug little grin as she passed, as if it was some big victory to be fucking your soulmate. He won’t remember her name once they’re done, if he bothered to learn it in the first place.

She, like the string of others before her, will be gone before long, nothing more than a pretty set of holes for him to fuck and forget about.

Perhaps more surprising was that Rindou had also glanced your way, expression tight, the faintest hint of agitation showing in the set of his jaw. 

An agitation that remained, even as his features shifted into an arrogant smirk at having caught you looking back.

Ran, having been in the midst of scrolling through your phone, sets it down upon the table and raises an eyebrow, “Mm?”

You nod, “Yeah. One of my coworkers was jumped last night, two guys broke his leg, beat him up pretty bad. Turns out he’s my boss's son, and they seemed to think it had something to do with me.”

“Huh,” he says, making no attempt to hide the mirth that dances in his eyes. “Two birds with one stone, colour me impressed.”

You’re not seeking confirmation, you already know it was them. 

Just like when one of your best friends had been mysteriously attacked on his way home from the gym. Or your neighbour, who used to smile and strike up a conversation whenever you’d pass each other in the hallway. 

Your jaw tightens, so too does the grip you have on the drink he’d poured for you. “Why?”

“Why what?” 

And like a cord wound too tight, the pressure of the last few weeks suddenly explodes without warning, and you roughly shoulder his arm off of you. 

“Why all of it!” you cry. “Why you hurt them! Why you care who I talk to or what I do! Why you’re obsessed with hanging around like an overgrown parasite, ruining my life when Rin–” you break off with a shuddering gasp, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you furiously blink back tears.

When Rin’s made it so abundantly clear he doesn’t want you. 

Long, lithe fingers grab at your chin, forcefully turning your head towards his. 

Nestled into his side, close enough that the warmth of his breath kisses your neck with every exhale, he nudges his nose against yours, a wry smile twitching at his lips. 

“There really isn’t a single brain cell in that pretty little head of yours, is there,” he says, flicking your forehead for good measure. “Why do you think?”

—

Caught between a soulmate who doesn’t want you, and the brother who keeps you leashed regardless, you learn very quickly the kind of men the Haitani brothers are.

Their sadistic, violent impulses of course come as no surprise, but you soon realise that that’s only the very tip of the iceberg. 

Extortion, assault, drugs, robberies, prostitution, senseless, rampant killing; it seems there’s no limit to the lengths they’ll go to in the name of expansion. They don’t try to hide it from you. No, you’d go so far as to say the pair get a kick out of seeing you flinch and baulk over the grisly details.

As much as hearing about it chills you to the bone, what truly scares you isn’t the crimes they’ve already committed.

It’s the knowledge that no matter how much power or territory they gain, they’ll always want more. That one day they plan on running this city, and to achieve that they’ll inevitably – gladly – do so much worse.

It’s the thought that you might end up trapped here between them, forced to bear witness as your soulmate warps and twists into something wholly unrecognisable. 

—

The final nail in the coffin comes the day you’re walking back to your apartment, and you realise that you’re being followed.

A big guy in a dark hoodie, tattooed hands stuffed into the pockets, an ugly scar slashed across his cheek. 

You’ve seen him before – watching you on the platform at Shibuya station a few days back, and again yesterday as you were exiting the 7-Eleven a block down from the Haitanis’ apartment. 

And it’s enough to have your blood running cold, fear taking root deep inside of you. 

Enough that you’re frantically swiping open your phone, quickening your pace.

The phone rings once, twice–

“Ran’s busy. What?”

The voice isn’t the one you’re expecting; your heart leaps at the sound of it. “Rin, I– there’s some big, tattooed guy following me. I-I think I’ve seen him before.”

You’re not sure what it is that you’re expecting him to do. Rindou could be anywhere in the city, tied up with other, more important things. And that’s assuming he’d care enough to lift a finger in the first place. 

Ran would, you think. 

He’d almost snapped a guy’s wrist the other night for trying to cop a feel of your ass. Whatever fucked up kind of relationship he imagines he has with you, it’s certainly edged with a streak of possessiveness. 

You’re not so sure the same can be said of your soulmate. 

Images flash to mind; your body, lying bruised and battered, hooked up to beeping monitors in hospital. Worse – found in a back alley dumpster, used and discarded with yesterday’s trash.

On the other end of the line, Rindou curses softly.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” and the call goes dead.

He… hung up.

Your soulmate hung up on you. 

There’s a noose around your neck, tightening with each passing beat. Your heart hammers so violently against your rib cage that you physically feel sick.

You called him for help, terrified, and he’d hung up on you.

Spying a 24-hour FamilyMart on the other side of the street, you dart across the road as quick as your legs’ll take you – barely managing to dodge the car that slams on its breaks to avoid hitting you. 

The teenager restocking the shelves gives you an odd look as you scramble inside, shaking and nearly in tears. It shifts quickly when she follows your gaze and catches sight of your bona fide stalker, lurking on the other side of the glass, sliding doors.

Yet rather than entering the store, the man simply grins, gold teeth glinting in the low light, lifts two fingers to his temple, and salutes.

—

Rindou’s waiting at your apartment when you return, furiously pacing back and forth inside your living room.

Wastes no time in asking if you’re okay, or offering up comfort, merely snatches at your chin, roughly tilting your face this way and that until he’s satisfied with whatever it is he sees.

“Tell me everything,” he grits out, and once you’re finished, voice trembling and your nerves shot to pieces, he makes you tell it to him again.

He leaves, as he always does, without a goodbye, the sound of the locks on your front door clicking into place echoing in his wake.

—

You used to think disappearing would be enough.

Rindou wouldn’t care to stop you, and if you were meticulous in your planning, Ran wouldn’t have the chance to try.

You’d leave Tokyo, pick up a life somewhere else. If anyone asked about the name on your arm, you’d tell them your soulmate died before you met him, an accident, or a terrible childhood illness. A tragedy yes, but nothing insurmountable. 

You could find another way to be happy.

Now, you know better. As long as those letters grace your arm, you’ll never be able to escape the Haitanis influence. There’ll always be a target on your back, a chain around your ankle, trailing right back to Tokyo and the brothers you left behind.

So you found a way to erase them.

—

“You trust us, don’t you?”

The question’s posed to you by the elder Haitani, perched at the foot of your bed, one foot idly dangling off the side of your mattress. His brother leans casually up against the open door frame. 

Startled awake in the middle of the night, you lacked both the time and the foresight to hide your arm from their prying gaze. Your deception – your betrayal – laid bare for them to discover while you slept on, blissfully oblivious. 

Now, cradling it to your chest, your knees tucked up close, you eye the two warily. Nothing about this situation puts you at ease, least of all the conversational tone he’s adopted. 

Ran doesn’t want an answer, at least, not a genuine one. For all their faults, neither he nor Rindou are delusional to the point of believing that you in any way trust them. That you’ve gone to such lengths in the first place speaks plenty to that.

No, he wants to draw this out, a cat toying with a mouse before it strikes the killing blow. And like that mouse, caught between sharp claws and vicious grins, the only option you have left is to play dead in the hope that your predators soon lose interest.

Swallowing down the nauseating fear creeping up your throat (or is that bile?) you offer a tiny nod. Ran smiles approvingly, but it’s Rindou, pushing himself off the wall with a huff, who speaks next. 

“You know I felt it – when you went through with it,” he tells you, stalking over to your bed. His eyes are cold, hard. And it’s ice, you think, not fire that burns in those pretty, violet hues as he braces an arm on the wooden headboard and leans in, “Knocked me flat on my ass, honestly thought I was dying there for a sec.”

As if in response, the skin where his name used to lie prickles, goosebumps rising to the surface.

“I-I’m sorry.” Clumsily, the words spill from your mouth – an impulsive attempt to appease them. “I didn’t think–”

He snorts, “Yeah, that much is obvious.”

The petty insult finds its home despite your best efforts to ignore it, blood heating your cheeks.

Once again, it’s his older brother who jumps to your so-called defence; “Aw, c’mon Rindou, don’t be so mean.” Ran clicks his tongue in mock sympathy, “Poor little idiot just made a mistake, that’s all.” 

“A… mistake?” you echo.

The amusement fades from his features, the look in those dark, hooded eyes near caustic as they slide back to you, “She knows she fucked up, and she’s gonna let us fix it, aren’t you, baby?”

“Y-yeah,” you manage to utter, tongue darting out to wet your lips. 

But it’s Rindou, lips brushing along the shell of your ear, who hammers the final nail home, “You try leaving us again, and next time it won’t just be some tattoos marking up that pretty skin, understand?”

[nitrochiral-spiral]

Omggg spoiler alert bc I need to vent: Slow Damage Fujieda's Route (and also a tw for child exploitation and mentions of r*pe)

I'm SO mad at Fujieda. How can he figure out Towa's whole history, down to the fact that he dated Madarame, but can't put two and two together, that Towa would've been a child during the time when the child exploitation club was operated by his mom almost 2 decades ago.

Then that monster r*pes and tries to murder Towa bc he blamed Towa for the exploitation. HE WAS A CHILD YOU PEANUT BRAIN. HE WAS A VICTIM AS WELL. AND EVEN IF HE WASN'T A VICTIM, HE WAS STILL A CHILD. WHAT COULD'VE HE DONE AS A CHILD TO STOP THE EXPLOITATION THAT SOCIALLY POWERFUL ADULTS WERE DOING.

GET IT TOGETHER YOU COAL BRAIN, YOURE A LAWYER FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART. WHAT, DO YOU THINK TOWA STAYED 26 FOR WELL OVER 10 YEARS??? AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW HIS CERTAIN AGE, HE CLEARLY ISN'T OVER 30. UGH, HE PISSES ME OFF WITH HIS SELECTIVE INTELLIGENCE

[gyarubloodbath]

harlequin

character: shion madarame/karen kurokawa tw: +18, bloodplay, kink on menstruation. synopsis: a sketch of karen and shion's interaction with a drop of blood… all edits are mine *ワンダーステーションは興味のあるものです — the wonder station is of interest.

ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ«karen, can you hear me? ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠkaren, please, don't fear me.»

fucking-pink panties with attractive lace are pulled down to the most playful ankles of the legs, — burning with shameless, strong, bright fire, tanning the loins of everyone with whom they had to deal, — covered with thin stockings, the arrow of which went straight from the knee to the heel of a crystal, but heavy foot. there is nothing else on the thin, transparent pale body. the toes curl up, convulse, the chest shakes with a new jump, relaxed from the warmth and heat of the two of them, luring other people's lips with soft nipples, teasing with teeth, pulling and licking with tongue in a circle, stopping right on the ring of the outlet of the fountain of milk, moving it quickly, forcing the woman to shake her shoulders.

(somewhere behind lies a used tampon, — pulled out in one of the pauses of the gusts of sinful passion, — dirty painted with blood, bleeding, with a single white thread. the room is decorated with a dollhouse, hung with paintings of a lonely hostess: alluring pussies, smeared with their own blood, but so deliciously painted.)

the inner walls of karen's vagina contract with tension, the penis inside her pushes only deeper, pulsating when she stops moving. with her hands, with a long golden manicure, she generously smears a puddle of dark blood left by her own natural process. under karen's new, slow jumps, menstrual blood stains two naked bodies: a woman's tits, playfully squeezing them, leading with her fingertips only lower, along, between two bumps, — staining her stomach, — stopping right above the pubis, with short "steps" of fingers reaching the guy under the woman; shion's pelvis has turned purple, even black in places, but this only turns him on more.

the pungent smell, — along with all the liquid, — eats into the sheets, rolling over the mattress in waves of the red sea, which has absorbed the fertile silt of the banks of the nile — elastic, suffocating loins. on the tongue, sweet juices are not so romantic, not caramel-cloying: shion plays with karen's nipple with a deliciously charming candy, swallowing her red discharge along with mucus and blood clots, allowing a brackish-sour taste to envelop the entire mouth and throat walls, saliva crimson falling into the stomach, acid disappearing.

ᅠ ワンダーステーションは興味のあるものです*: red-and-white fluid flows out of the vagina of the woman, then smeared on her hips, turned to mush. the mixture of all the smells drunkenly stupefies the mind, relaxes, but the head is spinning, amused. a vulgar kiss haunts their minds the next day, and then… it will be forgotten in addictions, poisoning young hearts with thick smoke, deafening with the noise of automatic machines, distracting with the crunch of bones and washing down juicy strawberry jam with blood, spread on toast.