#made these like last year.....found them in the discord server and decided to post them here

[toasts-httyd-hyperfixation]

Alright i can't decide so y'all are fixin to do it for me

I have several things i wanna work on but i cant pick one to do so ive been doin none of em

Options are

Redoing the Httyd Timeline and Ages post i made a while ago. Its all mostly accurate and the things not explicitly stated in canon i still stand by, but i found a couple other things to add in, and overall its a lil messy cause its from when first started making longer posts, so it could just do with an overhaul to clear it up a bit

Im trying to go through and make a Full AU list, with Name and a summary of what its about, so i can actually talk about em here, as well as sorting all other AUs out properly. These were all talked mostly via the Discord Server, so its literally sorting through whats gotta be hundreds of thousands of messages from over the course of >1 year. Which its great because ive deeply enjoyed talking to everyone ( Shout out to the Discord Buddies, Love yall, you're the Best🫶🫶) but my god, i should have kept on top of it lol.

This one i don't know if anyone else even really is interested in, but y'all are getting it eventually regardless, because ya know you can't stop me from making posts here, no matter how much yall may want to sometimes (Toothfull my beloved <3). Anyway the gist of this one is, idk if its just me, but a lotta times when i hear ages in a book, i understand it, but it doesn't really connect. So i like to go and find other characters and people that are the same age, especially in like movie or shows, where i can look at people that are the same age and go "Holy Shit, they're just babies" or such as the like as that if they're older (Mostly in Alvins case, that man is not as old as a lot of yall probably think he is, or maybe you don't, who am i to say what you do or do not think)

Number 4 is essentially the same thing as number 3 but height related instead. I just like making visual comparisons for a lot of these things, cause it helps put things into perspective, as well as its nice for like drawing and stuff.

This ones just Goofy. I have several sillier ships that ive had over the years, some that just fall into crack ship territory. Some of them i do actually think would be cute/sweet, others are just for the sake of going "Could you fuckin imagine". So im making a poll, much like this one, with a brief explanation, and then yall get to vote on em. I dont know if itll be for the Worst, The best, Which One is y'all's favorite, i dunno, but its gonna be something.

And then the last one i can think of is, i really don't know how to explain it, but it's talking about how, in my opinion, the Vikings view of hiccup is being accurately portrayed? Like, that's a really bad summary, but i can't think of how to explain it better so, this is kind of a vague, mystery option

Anyways, those are the options i got for now

Im probably forgetting something but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everything'll eventually got done

So with that said

[moonlight1234]

Aether Sail MMO/ Treasure Planet MMO

i am a person of many ideas, all of them too much for me to do, so after many years of hoarding my ideas, and without making any progress towards any of them, i have decided to make some of my ideas public, i started with the RPG system that now has a blog that i will probably not post that much, so i ask you to judge this without thinking the scope is too big or whatever, i know all of that all too painfully, but i want to interact and maybe if this gets enough popularity i will get a contract or something. if you do decide to make my idea, please get in contact, i can work for you.

so, the basic idea is a MMORPG with Treasure Planet aesthetics and the 70% Victorian and 30% fantastic, the medium is cell phones, and you play with the phone standing upwards and the game should be made to be played with only one hand, both for accessibility and to make it easier to play. so you slide around to walk and tap to interact, if you interact with a enemy you get into attack mode. the combat should be something close to monster hunter but with a tab target system, idk if this could work but it would interact very well with the notion that you can only do one action at any time.

for guilds, one idea that i found somewhere that i don't remember is, that guilds are badly designed because it assumes that people only have one social circle, so my idea is to make it like Discord servers, where you can get into any numbers of servers you want, but you always get into the lowest role, and you can go up on roles if people like you or any criteria people want. you could also have multiple bank accounts per server and lock the bank accounts by roles, so you can really customize who has what money, and even share accounts with other guilds.

for dungeons, i want something like Tarkov with their loot n' scoot system, or extraction looter if you are boring, basically the idea of going in, getting stuff and either backing off to be safe or going farther to get more at the risk of losing everything you got. so its actually a risk and reward game to get better loot, to support that you can create encampment to create better gear, store loot and get out of game bonus.

PvP is optional, but its guild based, so you are in war against any other player that your guilds are enemies with. so it is optional, but its also social. enemy players can steal your items from boxes that otherwise they couldn't access, open doors, even if with some difficulty, and other PvP related stuff. to support that you have guild options that make you not enemies with everyone or be enemies with everyone (except if they have the previous setting activated). idk how overlapping would work, but i think its a good system overall.

for cities i think people should be able to buy terrain and houses, with limits, and create things like shops, also have a way for players to create laws and stuff, so basically player driven bureaucracy, that could be fun if balanced for fun, even if might generate too much conflict and be bad for some players.

crafting is something that i thought some amount of it, and i am thinking chore play, so instead of having placing things in a grid and happening instantly, something closer to Potion Craft, with some real physicality to it to make it satisfying, with a bunch of materials and ways to mix them to make it crunchy and let information on how to make some type of material be a political tool, a new way to interact with other players, so if you have a specific recipe that you got from dismantling a specific weapon.

notes are a way to create notes, you can at any time create a note and put information at it, you can sign them and they keep day and hour of creation or last change, they can work as documents, patterns of drawings like Animal Crossing, work like checks, material recipes to make crafting faster but at the risk of people discovering your recipes, and to give people temporary guild roles or other permissions. you can seal notes with wax and stamp it with a pattern. you can also create coins the same way, but not like the original coin, but side coins, so its really a player driven economy, player created coins need a stamp and a material to be made.

combat is like monster hunter but tab targeted, so you aim at the enemy you tap and get your weapons, and when you tap you attack, if you drag you move, if you slide quickly you can dash or roll depending on the distance and you have a block/parry or secondary attack button, a change weapon button, a change target button and 3 abilities buttons. so the combat is about playing towards the win condition of your weapon and using abilities to create openings or getting a big payoff from openings. the enemies would stun or throw you away with every hit, regardless of damage to make you really change how you play depending on what they do, but if you parry attacks you have a chance to throw the enemy away and if the enemy is really big you need multiple people to parry to push the enemy back.

Hades like dialogue, just add something about a player or tell a myth or something interesting but prioritizing things that are important.

and contest that the players can create to play around with other players, basically create rules for a sport or a arena, ways to allow light hearted conflict between players. be a fight to glory or a fashion show, ways to facilitate that type of stuff.

out of game bonus like World of Warcraft, but you can get better ones if you are in a good city or has a decorated house.

for monetization i would like a premium currency that you can trade with other players for coins only, but you can buy something from the game, but i am not sure what, probably some convenience or fuel for better out of game bonus. i think any form of monetization hurts the game, but this hurts the game less.

ships, with a velocity based on cloth released, and functions like cannon, helm, boarder and engineer, idk if the canons should use ammo or have a cd. we have a radar, that has info about enemies like position, speed, cooldowns, so its worth to keep someone there. idk how to make this exactly, but in Starfinder each spaceship has a number of rooms that it has to be able to hold stuff, so something like that, basically a room for people to sleep, a room for medicine stuff, a room for radars, basically space slots, but the trade off would be speed for size.

i think that's all and i would really like other peoples opinions on this, even just for the fun of talking, and if you see a future for this idea, pls send me a message because we can definitely have a deal. thanks for reading, luv ya.

[wcamino-confessions]

Alright so there was a post about someone having a carbon copy of my character that was requested to be removed so I am remaking that post as some new stuff happened and I don't believe this person deserves any sympathy as they are trying to pull the victim card. I tried my best to work things out and they lied about what happened, went straight to LT and got me muted/a strike. However, Larkin, this is outside of Amino now. LT won't help you here, I was respectful until you did that shit. Just like how LT didn't help me with your theiving ass even after being told from the designer that the character was indeed copied, you still wanted to use the character. === Okay so back in 2019, my friend group and I opened a public warrior cats roleplay on Discord. Thats when a problemtic user joins, we decided to let him join until some supervision from our staff team. The punishments within our server were pretty leanate but for this one member, any rule broken would have been an instant ban. He created some drama outside of our server for coping designs and passing them off as freebies in our roleplay so we had him removed. When he was removed, he stole a lot of characters including mine and procecced to sell, trade, and scam many people with our characters. This happened four years ago and I still am dealing with everything. While doing a Toyhouse purge, Larkin commented on my post offering a trade for a character and went I was looking through their characters, I ran into a character that looked like my character so I asked the person about it. I believe I was being quite nice about the entire situation despite all the stress and frustration I felt having to deal with this all over again.

After this interaction, I went to the designer who made the character. I already knew the character was redesigned/inspired by my own but just to get proof to get this person to understand that these two characters are not similar, they're a redesign. I did blur out the person's name who got the character redesign as I did speak to them prior to making this and just as I thought, they got the character in a trade a year ago and never ended up using them. I figure this would be the case so their privacy in the screenshot below is blurred.

After telling Larkin the information I found out, I informed Larkin and asked for the character to be sent to me so I could delete them to prevent anyone else from being scammed. I was trying to come to an agreement with Larkin and offered to sell them the copyright usage, which they showed interest in but I was still unsure at this point because they have been stolen and sold so many times in the past. They claimed they were interested in buying the character if I decided to sell them, this is what they lied about. They went to LT claiming I was forcing them to buy or delete the character which wasn't the case. When I was done with that, they asked if they could redesign the character that was based off of my character which I told them no.

With that being said, Larkin just wanted the redesign but I wasn't gonna let that happen as I wasn't okay with the redesign in the first place. They only wanted the redesign of my character and in order to get the redesign, I would have to sell the entire character as their version of mine was stolen. Shortly after this conversation, I did send another message just asking if the character was deleted and everything. They asked if the issue was solved, and I don't remember what I said. LT deleted these last couple messages that were exchanged. I did not delete anything from our chats as I typically keep evidence in case of things like this. This is what LT muted me for, I was supposably forcing this person to buy the rights or delete the character but as these screenshots prove, they wanted to buy the character after I mentioned a way to solve the dispute. You are a fucking liar Larkin. I wanted to help you and fix this without getting the LT involved, but clearly we couldn't come to an agreement because you were being stubborn after finding out the character was indeed stolen. and yes, I did report you to Toyhouse about everything. I would have liked to solve things peacefully since I have gotten my Toyhouse reported, frozen and banned for something very similar to this situation where I bought a stolen character but the other person wasn't so nice. They didn't mesage me asking where I got the character from, they straight reported me for theft. I got all my characters frozen (meaning you cant transfer, do anything with them) and banned shortly after. I was also accused of making fake screenshots/proof because the person I bought the character from made fake evidence which in return backfired on me. I don't want to get anyone banned because I lost all of my characters and their images, I had to dig through thousands of dms to find everything. It was absolute hell and a huge time cosumer. I don't wish that upon anyone but since the stolen character is still on your profile, I had no choice.

.

[museaway]

Happy 10th anniversary to my beloved Free! fandom. When I was struck down by a fever in late 2017 and decided to watch the anime, I had no idea the ways the fandom would influence me. So since @rinharumemories is a memory event, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to finally write a love letter to the fandom! 💙❤️ 

(Adapted from this twitter thread!)

After my fever-inspired crash-course, Free! fell out of my head for a while, but Rin never did. The following year, I watched a cosplay tutorial for him on YouTube and decided to watch Take Your Marks. I saw The Bench Scene. Suddenly I had an OTP!

My first-ever rinharu friend, Rubi, encouraged me to write fic and kindly beta read for me! I was neck-deep in anxiety at the time because of another fandom and Free! was refreshing. My anxiety was so bad that she actually screened the comments on that first fic to make sure I could read them without spiraling.

I found more shippers & joined the Sakura Pool discord, where I would meet my dear SweetHeaven! Su & the other friends I made there helped shape @ficwip's early days as a hashtag game, and (along w/friends from SPN & VLD) were some of our discord's initial members.

When I was designing the ficwip discord, Aenya was kind enough to share tips for role-based channel permissions & let me pick her brain about modding a year-round space! Her advice was invaluable, an absolute lifesaver. 🙏🙏🙏 

Around this time, through the original #ficwip game on Twitter, I met fellow writer @matsuoka-lin and we got to be friends. (During the pandemic, Lin would join the ficwip server and we would recognize our Aquarius bond ♒)

Late into 2018, I was still writing rinharu fic, and I also participated in Inktober, with a good number of the images being rinharu themed. It had been years since I’d drawn, but those two brought it out of me. Sadly, that December, the VLD finale hit during my very first @rinharuweek and launched me back into the VLD fandom for a couple of years. I never finished my RHW '18 entry. But I never forgot Free! or rinharu, and definitely not Rin, who was my profile pic more often than not. 

Flash forward to 2021. Su won a fic giveaway & prompted me to write a rinharu amnesia fic. I worked on it across 11 months. That awoke my muses, and I ended up writing rinharu hanahaki for @ficwip's 5k!

Last August, I was days away from announcing a fandom-wide SPN event when I recalled my dream of a rinharu bang and mentioned it in passing to Lin. We talked for eight hours straight. By the end of the conversation, @thenightpool had been born. 

We started TNP with the humble goal of five participants in our first event, a mermaid-themed fic & art fest. We had months to prepare! Then something happened with FS2 and we scrambled to launch a Halloween fest that we pulled off thanks to incredible contributors. They formed the foundation of the TNP discord, which is set up a lot like ficwip’s to be a year-round little creative community. We’ll actually be launching our own version of fw’s writing retreat weekends later this month! 

The merfest, which got renamed Unleashed Blue, blew past our expectations — as did Sakurathon, a dormant event that we revived for a weekend in April. UB ended up with 52 entries; we’d hoped for maybe 15. Sakurathon was such a success that we rescheduled it immediately. Right now, we have a prompt meme running, and have events scheduled through 2024! 😅 

In addition to @thenightpool, we’ve formed @iwatobievents to promote events across the Free! fandom. And we’re running events there too, for Nagisa and Soumako. Because what is sleep!! 

So the TL;DR is that the rinharu fandom helped give @ficwip life, has inspired me as a writer and artist, led me to my best and dearest friends, and will make a big dream come true later this year: I’ll finally be running a rinharu bang! 💙❤️

And I still have a Rin Matsuoka icon.

(eta: I did, up until the day I posted this. It may temporarily be changed to another favorite character!)

[lightheaded-dullahan]

Third Time’s the Charm: AN IMPORTANT UPDATE

For those just tuning in; this is an update to the situation detailed in hasarjunadoneanythingwrong (Who I will be shortening to Juna for this post)’s original post, and my own initial update post. This post includes additional evidence, and a direct confession.  This is being made into a new post for the sake of easy readability.

Below the cut will be the post at length; as this will be very long. As a reminder: DO NOT HARASS THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY

After our second update: we received more testimony from those previously in a discord server with gloriousrebirth (DK, henceforth) and previous targets of harassment.

Now during this time; I was in conversation with DK as they wanted to know why we were labeling her with such allegations.

While I do have screenshots of this conversation; DK asked that I simply paraphrase the conversation. I agree; mainly because a lot of it is running around.

With the information from our testimonies; I questioned DK on them to receive her side of things.

What I got was a great deal of contradiction and accidentally admissions.

Dullahan: So when we are speaking on your side blogs, Mike the Fairy deletes their blogs after posting a confession to being a troll.

DK: Yes.

Dullahan: A confession that only you have claimed to see; and that was up for only a few hours at most before the blogs were deleted.

DK: …Yes.

This included when asking them about the previous incident when they claimed Suckitbinch couldn’t be the one behind the mike blogs;

Dullahan: So Suckitbinch admitted to being a troll privately to everyone they harassed, yes?

DK: Yes.

Dullahan: And how do you know they aren’t back?

DK: Because they told me they wouldn’t in DMs.

Dullahan: They didn’t tell any of the other people they had harassed for months at that point?

DK: Yes.

Dullahan: So they told you…who had only be harassed by them once.

DK: …Yes.

I’m sure those reading can understand why this was not very convincing.

Through the next hour or so; we continued this back and forth until;

Dullahan: Why are you continuing to run around this.

DK: Because if I admit it; I will lose any RP partners that I have here.

DK: I admit it; I was the one behind both of these.

Dullahan: Why did you do this?

DK: Because I was angry and frustrated at the lack of seriousness at topics being used for memes and jokes.

Dullahan: So you harassed people using those same things?

DK: Yes.

DK has said to me that they do understand the harm they’ve done. That they understand how they decided to go about it was awful.

They also understand that even by confessing this; it doesn’t grant them instant or any forgiveness.

I will once again emphasize; DO NOT HARASS DK OVER THIS

As for moving forward; I do not know if DK will deactivate her account at any point in the future. I want to personally believe they will keep their word and not do something like this again.

But this is the second strike. You may choose to block and move on; or not. The Mike Blogs are in fact deleted as mentioned earlier. They can no longer be accessed. The date on the blog’s deactivation string, which we were able to access through an ask that was posted by Juna, was on 2023, 06, 03. This was the day I was speaking to DK about her blogs and the initial discussion over if she was guilty or not.

If this occurs a third time; then by those who gave the testimonies; it will be expected. If it does not happen again; then it will be all the better.

But for now; this is the result of the investigation into the harassment anons.

In the past; gloriousrebirth sent multitudes of inappropriate anonymous asks to people in a discord server with herself, and was found out.

In the past year and a half to 2 years; as this new wave in 2021, these started up once again to far more blogs.

Within the last few days (as of 2023-06-05), Juna and I managed to uncover the person behind them all and gain a confession.

For now, that’s where this ends.

[glamgoblin]

Tagged by @ella-norah to do this. Thank you for tag bestie!! 🫶🏻

Rules:

Post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to AO3. (Sort by date posted.) If you have less than 10 fics posted, post what you have!

✨Fics below the cut! ✨

Please read the trigger warnings for fics 3 and 5

1. Midnight Rendezvous - Phayu/Rain Modern Mythology AU and Crack (Love in the Air)

“When was the last time you actually raced?” Prapai leant against the barricade, waiting for Phayu to fix his bike after Prapai’s last race.

2. The Reunion - Multiship family feels and crossover (Love in the Air + Not Me) Co-written by the fantastic @ella-norah

White just finished the talk to his father. He has heard the best news ever - he’s going back home to Thailand. Finally!

3. A Little Too Much Energy - Phayu/Rain and besties, long distance relationship and difficult pregnancy issues. Omegaverse (Love in the Air)

tw: mention of potential miscarriage

When Rain first found out he was pregnant he was thrilled. Him and Phayu had been trying for awhile, and Rain was ready to be a dada. Even just looking at the little blue lines on the test made his heart swell. That day he went to the store and bought a children’s toy set to set to surprise Phayu.

4. Uncharted Waters - NSFW Phayu/Rain mermaid au (Love in the Air)

The moment Phayu’s lips touched Rain’s, Rain knew he’d be Phayu’s forever. All the butterflies in his stomach, all the times he’d convinced himself he should find someone, all the years of holding on to a memory he was never supposed to make, they all made sense now.

5. Light At The End of the World - Gen. Macau decides he doesn’t want to be here anymore and his last thoughts (Kinnporsche)

tw: suicide, self harm, graphic depictions of wounds

Macau felt whole with the gouges on his arms. Like they were always meant to be there. He took comfort in knowing it was almost over. Letting the blood drip from him he felt his heartbeat for the first time.

6. Mortal Love - Phayu/Rain, Ink Exchange and Siren AU (Love in the Air)

“Are you sure you want to do this Rain?” Sky asked for the tenth time on their walk over to the shop. Today Rain would be getting a tattoo, despite Sky’s interrogation.

“Yes, it’ll be fun.”

“It’s not just because…” Sky trailed off.

7. Mis-Match - AkkAyan getting together fic where Yok is Akk’s brother. A veryyyyy belated Christmas gift for the wonderful @wintercrushes (The Eclipse + Not Me)

“Awww!” Chaos incarnate came bounding up to the school gates. “How’s my favorite brother in law? Akk being troublesome again?”

8. Repose My Love, I’ve Sinned Enough for the Both of Us - NSFW Vegas/Pete, aka the one where I challenged myself to hide ten random song lyrics in a smut fic. Happens when Pete is captured by Vegas (Kinnporsche)

The room smelled of blood and cheap cleaner. The kind meant for when you expected something to get dirty all over again.

9. Parting Shot - Phayu/Rain, Years ago Phayu and Rain broke up despite still being in love. When on a trip Phayu runs into Rain and Rain’s daughter, who happens to look exactly like Phayu. Omegaverse. (Love in the Air)

Phayu thought he was sneaking into the house, it was three am and they both had work early in the morning. Rain should be asleep right now.

10. Roses are Red, Now I Can’t Get Out of Bed - NSFW Phayu/Rain sex pollen fic for the PhayuRain discord server prompt (Love in the Air)

Planning dates was always fun for Phayu. He wasn’t as romantic as Prapai, choosing to show his love in different ways, but he always had one or two surprises to show Rain how much he loved him.

Tagging @soyellowcurtainsthen @loveable-sea-lemon and @machoestofmen to show off your fics bc I love them but only if you want to! (I know these things take forever.)

[spikeinthepunch]

i have my 2022 art summary queued up and just want to ramble about the last year,... lots of stuff happened, good and bad! been a strange time.

i imagine most followers around have probably been here since late 2020 but 2020-21 i did art quite a bit, but the thing that really stuck for that period was i was super involved in warrior cats RP for some time-- i love RPing and these group also got me motivated to draw too! but i feel like i kind of wasnt around in the typical way due to how consumed i was in it. i dont think i need to go into detail of every month during that time, but it wasnt until early this year where i dropped it, and i didnt really publicize in detail why due to the issues surrounding it, but it was probably the biggest impact on me this year mentally, and in terms of art direction. and i feel like itd feel good to document this in a blog after it has now blown over- and why ive shifted my direction too.

i was very happily running my own RP server for just a year before i had to close it this year and it still makes me sad, as much as i moved on. ARP was like... a very big deal for me and i cant deny that. i dont have a lot of projects i get that into or get even close to setting off with its story figured out. i wrote well over 100 pages of documents for the world and the 6 planned arcs. i drew loads of art i couldnt even share until it closed (tbh im not positive i have shared it anyways bc i didnt wanna post it here). i made a website, i made riddles and code, i developed lore that was far outside of the warrior cats scope to it basically just being original!

truly i have never developed a project as far as i made ARP and to shut it down in order to save my privacy and past trauma from being further exposed in such an inappropriate way really sucked ass. a lot. it was a situation where there was no control given to me, no sense of understanding from the community. im not writing this out now to be pointing fingers and calling out names- just venting how it took a toll on me this year. what had happened with my server was that one of my own mods decided to dig into my profiles and found an old nsfw page, which even more indirectly led to an old flist, which exposed various things i was into around 17-19, reflecting trauma and abuse id been through (in it, voiced wanting to take part in certain kinks; ex. being a victim to violence and dubious consent scenarios). this information was at first presented as a threat to minors viewing my RP page (as in "ppl can see your nsfw profile from the blog!") which wasnt true/accessible as they said it was and required many many clicks to find, and then slowly revealed to me the people exposing this were in fact two of my own mods and was promptly cut off from explaining anything else as it spread in a private mod discord in the RP community. Which was worse to me than everything else that could have happened honestly, and i only learned this second hand from a person who saw it in that discord and thought it was horrible this information was spreading like that behind my back. in some ways things were okay-- i didnt get "called out" openly as i did my best to explain how these pages were not current to those around me, and that they had dug into some deep cutting trauma and a period where i wasnt getting any help to cope properly. it still didnt stop the fact i left every other RP i was in due to connections w those exposing it, and in turn closing my own. i dont want to say im thankful i didnt get called out publicly, but the damage was bad enough in so many other ways because i couldnt continue my server at all, and in the end people's obsession with purity culture in the fandom still made them deem me "bad" because i had nsfw accounts in any capacity. thats not a space i want to be around anyways...

ill forever be thankful for those who stuck it out to the end and witnessed the documents i got to share before closing it for good. but this was a HUGE part of my life for the last years of the pandemic, and i wasnt there for warriors cats- i was there for the people i knew, and the stories i made. i still miss RP a lot, and i want to host projects like that again after moving on mentally from that ordeal.

but my 2022 art summary shows a major shift that was 100% in part to disconnecting from wcrp. humans everywhere! seriously. for a solid few months i couldnt even bare to look at anything related to ARP. i didnt want to think about how i lost this story i developed so hard for so long.

honestly didnt really start drawing properly again until the summer- my art during my HL phase was very very light and very messy. i fell into a hard depression early summer and i only crawled out when i got into mcyt- and even then i was hiding it from this blog. i think i just needed to not feel like i was "online", because August included me joining a onceler RP and again, not saying anything about it. which Weehawken was the first RP thing I had done since i closed ARP too, and it was weird. not the RP itself, it just felt weird to try that again.

and it wasnt my favorite month, i just felt so tired and exhausted- that depression was kinda lingering and drawing a lot for an RP again was something i wasnt really used to anymore.

the past three months have been.... better? or i have at least enjoyed what i am drawing more. i think im far enough removed from what happened with ARP too that it doesnt weigh on me as strongly. i wasnt blaming myself for anything but it doesnt feel good when you know you have to kill something. we talked about recovering it, i had ideas, but i just knew it wouldnt be worth trying to with so much damage caused in my own self, and the impression that whole community left on me knowing people would willingly spread such personal information without question. having trauma exposed after going to therapy and relearning how to use the internet in a way that doesnt lean on trauma dumping and whatever unhealthy bullshit? its quite a blow. i dont make personal blogs like this often because i have good methods to deal with my shit these days.

despite this messy year im doing well. its been ups and downs. overall i know im far more confident in myself, i moved out to live on my own, and im just doing my thing. whatever bull shit happened this year, call out or not, i know im still just gonna keep doing whatever it is im doing. and heres to hoping i can bring a world to life like i did with ARP again, bc i really have a lot i want to tell and show and do.

[thetruthaboutnolan]

Ahhh I was waiting for this new stalker to post about it. After all, I need more evidence of them stalking me to report to both tumblr and authorities. Also love how she ignores her own words. Wasn’t this the same person that claimed they didn’t know me but then recently said they did and we were on the same sites? Interesting how they talk about reality and facts changing to my liking but it’s ok when they do it?

I do love how she likes to ignore the fact for years and on multiple occasions and blogs I’ve stated multiple times I had people log onto both my discord and tumblr accounts to ‘fill in’ for me. They forget I’ve kept meticulous records of every single interaction I’ve ever had as well as evidence of the people that love to make up lies having their own problematic actions and behaviors. I also am very good at keeping things to myself until they are needed or it’s the best time to reveal it AGAIN.

After all it’s known that this person has a grunge against me, some pathetic vendetta they just won’t let go of for some reason. Which is why it wasn’t hard to figure out who they were as they seem to obsesses over one specific character of mine. That one character has only ever had drama on one site and with one person how is now pretty much my online BFF and has been for years now. Though there was a hanger on that was obsessed with ignoring all the facts just to go with their version of the truth. Which is actually what this stalker is doing. That along with other things my friends and I have found out has made that easier to narrow down this person. It helps you claim you never went by male pronouns as it was between three people and one was a man that stole from my group to open one that exploited people for money under threats then regretted it.

@nolanaccountability @mariemcreau mmmm I really should make a blog that is for your accountability shouldn’t I? The drama you created, the pedophilic like kink you have for fetishizing gay men that don’t even look of legal age, not to mention the stalking even before this year.

I also love how you call it an accountability belong and yet you have nothing on there that is actually about accountability. What you have are a lot of posts showing you’re stalking me and other people you want to fool yourself into believing are me just because they don’t openly hate me. And then you run a narrative that shows actual evidence and other proof that openly states a lot of the stuff you’re dying to make people believe are lies are well documented and shown in various places and years old and not something that is only just now being said.

It’s funny how you and that other crazy stalker are so gun ho about digging through the archives of many blogs, many servers and tracking down every last little bit of me that you can. And yet, you decide not to do that whenever someone brings you a story that has no evidence or proof, you try to make excuses that it’s been so long that there simply isn’t anything and yet your actions show there is always some kind of record you can twist. You also refuse to go through all the past posts from years before show evidence that you’re lying and being lied to.

The mental gymnastics twisting and bending of the truth you do is almost admirable in an insane obsessed fan kind of way. It both really interests me in wondering why you are so obsessed with me and how easy it is to tell a blog to post something to answer the anons they got that hints to look at my blog here and you come running haha. But also how little I actually care. Even if you are who it appears you are, I never spoke to you outside of three like 2 minutes convos and you just inserted yourself into drama you had nothing to do with and then spun into you being a victim. But it is interesting why you’re so obsessed, you’re not one of my exs, you definitely act like a couple of stalker ones I had both male and female.

I’ve gone years with no drama other than people that are also obsessed with me dragging up the one bit I had from 10 years ago. Then went away and largely were exposed. I’ve only ever used my alias of Nolan UNLESS asked to by others which yes, happened quite a few times. Yes, I have friends who want me to post with them but also not so close that they are willing to deal with drama from people like you who have now life outside of wanting to stalk a random stranger. I am anything if not a rational person that is happy to have a sit down conversation and help others if I can give it.

[mowisha]

Where do I start? AAAA I have lots of plans this year that I listed at the start of this year and I'm steadily and slowly doing my best to complete all of them! So this is like a diary post just so I can compose myself and not get too overwhelmed by all the things I wanna do.

You can keep reading on below if you're interested with my life, but this is mostly just me taking notes since I don't vlog or keep a diary with me anymore haha.

Internet Friends

This year went by so fast but I know that I also grew a lot as a person and I've met a lot of amazing people that contributed to this year. I met 2 actual friends that I found on Reddit (r/phR4Friends to be exact). Kyle invites me to all these gigs around my city and Manila from time to time and I realize that this is the kind of stuff that I've been missing out on for the past few years. Hazel is one of the best girls I've ever met and she's up for anything and even shared with me about losing my 3 year old phone! I went to La Union with her, her friends, twitter friends, and few a college acquaintances that I ended up being friends with also.

Also met a lot of new people by joining new local discord servers and it made my days less boring. It got me distracted with my plans on studying tho so I'm trying to limit my interactions and just meet up with them in real life tho. But yeah, I"m very thankful for all of them and they all treat me so nicely.

Lost my Phone

Went clubbing with Hazel earlier this year and ended up losing my phone and I think 2 years worth of photos! I was soooo sad and ended up using what Iearned working in starbucks last year to buy a secondhand iPhone 13 Pro. I have a love/hate relationship with the camera but I'm slowly getting used to it.

Concert and Gigs

Last December, I saw Keshi and this May, I saw the 1975 for the first time ever since their first show here in the Philippines last 2013. I enjoyed watching them live so much. In between these concerts, I went to a lot of local and out of town gigs and realized there were a lot of local underrated/underground music that I haven't discovered yet

Vespa Primavera 150

I saved up like crazy so I can buy myself a scooter, a Vespa to be exact. I was gonna go for the White Primavera 150 but someone in a local band told me that it was too common so he bought a relax green one and it got me thinking so that's what I'm gonna go for. I've been going back and fourth to the Vespa Shop here in Baguio but it's still not available until now. It's okay tho, I'm still in the process of fixing my driver's license. Tomorrow, I'll go and get my student's permit in Porta Vaga.

The Idea of Living on my Own

I saw a loft apartment the other day and I'm going to check out the actual thing tomorrow morning. It got me thinking of starting to live on my own and it fills my tummy with butterflies just thinking about how I'm gonna decorate it to make it feel like my home. I shouldn't be too excited because I'm not yet sure whether I'll actually get it or some other people are going to get it before me. But if I don't get the apartment, I'm already decided that I should move out this year, I'm about to turn 26!

Crochet

I started crocheting late last year but I didn't get to continue practicing due to working 2 jobs and dating someone at the same time but this year, I gained a lot of time because I resigned and the relationship died lmao. I've been working on a life size BMO stuffed toyfor the past 3 months, I think? I'm about to finish it this week, I think! After this, I'll continue making tops like what I originally planned.

Half Dyed Hair

I know I told myself multiple times that I'm going to leave my hair alone and and start growing it out but I bleached and dyed it again this year. Ended up regretting it and had lots of hairfalls :( This will be the last time I swear.

Lost my Tita to Cancer

It came to a shock that my tito asked me to come to Manila asap because my aunt was already in her death bed. I spent a week staying by her side and crying. I never told her that I loved her even when she was literally dying because those words can't come out of my mouth but I know I did. She took care of me for 10 whole years and I always kept my feelings to myself because our relationship wasn't perfect but I'm thanful everyday because I wouldn't be the person I am today if she never took me in when my parents gave me and my brother away. She's in a better place now and I've already forgiven al the wrongs she's done to me.

We have 6 months left until the year is over, a lot of things can still happen and I'm excited what else is in store for 2023. Thank you for reading! :)

[chuyin-weilai]

caligula overdose icons, part 1! (part 2)

free to use, no need to credit me or anything

[griffintail]

The First Day

Summary: Your first day on the server.

Pairing: Wilbur Soot x F! Reader

Next

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: This is a story I was working on in my free time for like the longest time and it's still not finished and it's so long. God knows how many parts this will be. I need a title for this story too. I'll think of one separately and it will have it's own masterlist if people like it. 

SO! Without further ado, here you are because I was bored!

Oh and (Y/U/N) means YOUR USERNAME.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Wilbur logged on to the Dream SMP. He didn’t have anything to do there, it was just a place to run around and build for him at the moment.

        He had built his “ball” not far from Tommy’s base, maybe he could build something else…He wasn’t quite sure yet. Just as before, Tommy begged for his attention and chuckled at the boy’s antics quietly. As he was going to find a space to build a new name joined the server.

        (Y/U/N) joined the game

        He frowned. He’s never heard that name before. Someone must have though because Dream didn’t let just anyone on the server. He’d look into them later.

        He was once more about to go to work when there was a new message in chat.

        <(Y/U/N)> There are new people on today. \o/ Hello, Mr. Soot and Mr. Innit.

        He chuckled as he read the message deciding to give them a response, smirking at Tommy’s probably rage.

        <WilburSoot> Hello there! :)

        <(Y/U/N)> May I know your coords?

        <WilburSoot> You may

        He gave the newcomer he coordinates, deciding to stick around the ball as he had as Tommy messaged him with renewed hope. A figure that wasn’t Tommy climbed up to Wilbur. The character was a female skin in a plaid jacket that was open with a plaid shirt and blue jeans to match, wearing a gray beanie on blonde hair.

        <(Y/U/N)> Hi! I’m new and wanted to give you a gift.

        She threw a flower, a poppy specifically, at him and when he picked it up, he noticed it was named.

        From (Y/U/N) to WilburSoot

        <WilburSoot> Why thank you Ms. (Y/U/N).

        <Tommyinnit> WOMAN!?

        <(Y/U/N)> No problem good day!

        <(Y/U/N)> Mr. Innit! May I have your coords?

        <Tommyinnit> No I will not give a woman my coordinates!!

        <(Y/U/N)> :(

        And now was the time to respond to Tommy. Wilbur logged onto the discord and joined Tommy in his call.

        “Wilbur!”

        “Now Tommy, that’s not how you talk to a lady.” Wilbur jokingly scolded him. “Apologize to her.”

        “I am not going to apologize to a woman!”

        “Tommy,” Wilbur warned. “Don’t make me block you.”

        He heard Tommy sigh exasperated and typed in chat.

        <Tommyinnit> I’m sorry

        <(Y/U/N)> :) It’s ok. I wish to give you a gift! Coords pls?

        <WilburSoot> He lives in those fences right across from here

        “Good, thank you, Tommy.”

        “Will you talk to me now?” Tommy asked with a huff.

        “Sure.”

        He first went into his ball as the girl sprinted over to Tommy’s place. He put the flower in a chest before following after her as he listened to Tommy talk.

        “Why the hell did she give me a flower?” Tommy questioned as Wilbur was halfway to Tommy’s.

        <Tommyinnit> Why the hell did you give me a flower?

        <(Y/U/N)> I’m new and I just want to give you a welcome gift!

        <(Y/U/N)> I need to work on my house. Good day, Mr. Soot and Mr. Innit!

        She sprinted away towards the community house. Wilbur stopped next to Tommy as he was holding a red tulip.

        “Wha…What was that?” Tommy asked Wilbur.

        “She told you, now what do you want to do?”

        The new girl had left before Tommy’s stream ended and after Tommy’s stream and he left, Wilbur decided to look up who the new person was. Looking up the name, he got a Twitter, YouTube, and Twitch account. On her Twitch there was a new video streamed today titled “Let’s not be homeless! (DreamSMP)”. She had a decent amount of followers on her Twitch and her YouTube channel, she had half a million subscribers. On her Twitter, there was a picture of a dog with its face pressed against the camera that had taken it. There was a tweet from not long ago with a full picture of the same dog next to a desk.

                                                     -------

        (Y/U/N) @(Y/U/N)

        He wouldn’t leave me alone all stream! I love my good boy but a girl needs her space!

                                                     -------

        Wilbur gave a quiet chuckle before liking the post and giving her a follow. Maybe he’d meet more of her…

                                                      -------

        Wilbur logged into the server once more to work on his project to come with Tommy. There were a few people online, Tubbo, Ponk, and Fundy. He didn’t bother them though, giving greetings back when given before getting to work. As he did, he got a notification from his phone that someone was live and glanced over. (Y/U/N) was live.

        Curious, he pulled up her stream and decided to leave it on in the background.

        “Hello, magical people! We’re going to be jumping back onto the SMP! My house looks so dull and I wanna find wolves.”

        Wilbur caught her accent immediately, American, definitely.

        “What do you mean there’s three people I haven’t met! I don’t have experience chat! Don’t say that!”

        (Y/U/N) joined the game

        “Fudge there’s three people I haven’t met. Firetrucks, uhhhh, I need to give them their flowers but I can’t name them!”

        <(Y/U/N)> Hello new fellows! \o/

        <Tubbo_> Hello! o/

        “I like that one.” She laughed. “He definitely deserves a flower. Oh, Mr. Soot’s online. Maybe he can help…”

        Wilbur looked over to see her typing a message in chat to him and as he looked over, he realized there was no webcam. She must not like to show her face.

        (Y/U/N) whispers to WilburSoot: Hi Mr. Soot! I’m in a predicament. May I ask for some of your EXP levels to name three flowers?

        He chuckled as he typed back to her.

        WilburSoot whispers to (Y/U/N): I have a few I can spare. I’ll be heading over to the ball to meet you. Just bring the anvil and flowers.

        “He’s a lifesaver chat!” She cheered. “We found a good one!”

        He laughed as he made his way over to his ball.

        (Y/U/N) whispers to WilburSoot: You’re a lifesaver! I and the chat thank you!

        She came sprinting over a few moments after he got there and she placed the anvil down and threw to him a dandelion, an orange tulip, and an allium.

        (Y/U/N) whispers to WilburSoot: The dandelion for Tubbo, the tulip for Fundy, and allium for Ponk.

        WilburSoot whispers to (Y/U/N): Ok :)

        He named the flowers the same as she had named his as she took the chance of waiting to read out her subs and donations. As he named the last flower, he saw he had a spare daisy in his inventory. She was giving them flowers; he should give one back.

        To (Y/U/N) From WilburSoot

        He threw all the flowers back over as she was reading a donation.

        “Ah! Flowers! Time to hunt down the people!”

        (Y/U/N) whispers to WilburSoot: Thank you! I owe you one!

        WilburSoot whispers to (Y/U/N): Any time!

        She picked up the anvil before sprinting off into the distance and he went back towards his build.

        <(Y/U/N)> Mr. Tubbo! Hello! I’m new and wish to give you a present!

        <Tubbo_> Thank you!!

        It was a moment before a new message popped up in chat.

        <(Y/U/N)> Hello Mr. Fundy! I have a gift for you!

        <ItsFundy> Ah thank you very much!

        Wilbur found it rather interesting as he watched the chat about how she used titles to talk to others. It was rather formal.

        “What do you mean there’s an extra flower? I only gave Mr. Soot three. Ok, ok, I’ll look.” She told her chat. “I thought I taught you guys better.” He looked over as she looked through her inventory, hovering over the extra flower he had given her. “Oh! He gave me a flower back! No one’s ever given me a flower back! Two years of giving flowers to people on servers and Mr. Soot beats them all!”

        So, this was a regular bit she did. He was surprised though to hear that he was the only one to give her a flower back, blushing lightly at her off-hand compliment.

        <(Y/U/N)> Mr. Soot! Thank you for MY gift! :)

        <WilburSoot> It was no problem. :)

        “Now back on track! To Ponk’s!”

        Wilbur tuned out the in-game chat as he worked, looking towards his phone though when he heard his name.

        “Do I watch Mr. Soot? Well yes, I’ve watched a few of his videos with Jschlatt and I’ve listened to his music video, uh…The Internet Ruined Me! That’s the one.”

        Wilbur blushed lightly once more. She had watched some of his videos and his music?

        “Do you watch anyone else on the server? Yeah, I watch a few of the guys like Sir Dream, George, and Sapnap. I watched one or two videos of Mr. Innit’s and Tubbo’s creation. But I have to be here with you too chat! I don’t have time to watch everyone!”

        Wilbur finished building, about to log off for the day but stopped and opened in-game chat.

        <WilburSoot> Good bye Ms. (Y/U/N)!

        “And he’s saying bye to me! Why didn’t we meet him sooner chat?!”

        <(Y/U/N)> Goodbye Mr. Soot! :)

        “I am not simping chat! I thought I taught all of you better!”

        Wilbur laughed as he turned off the stream. She was certainly a character.

[cosmoscourge-a]

I’m going to step away from Tumblr.

So, as all of you have noticed, I haven’t really been on Tumblr as of late. This decision of mine is basically just confirming a state of affairs that’s already been true for the past few months and that I believe will continue to be true. Still, though, because I haven’t exactly discussed it with anybody, this may come as somewhat of a shock, so I would like to take some time now to explain.

Last night I came to a realization about how I’ve felt about Tumblr–I have more or less completely lost the energy to be on here and to do RPs; I do have sporadic inspiration, but on the whole, the thought of doing anything more than short threads with muses I was once super attached to exhausts me. I don’t truly have the will to be on here anymore, even to post headcanons which is what I usually do when I’m too exhausted to RP; every time I think about posting my extensive hcs to Tumblr, I just go “eh, not today.” I do, however, feel more driven to RP one-liners on Discord, so I’ve decided that I would be focusing on that for the time being. However, upon further reflection, I have realized that this is a change that may actually turn out to be permanent. This is why.

As I’ve said in previous posts, my life is starting to get busier. As I move further and further toward law school, I’ve found that I have less and less energy to spend online. Grad school is my biggest chance to finally achieve the financial independence from my abuser that I’ve so craved, and I want to put more of my focus toward it. Publicity is fun, but it’s also incredibly draining because you constantly have to worry about pleasing the crowd instead of simply having fun with your friends. Thinking deeply about my future, this is not where I want my life to be.

Now onto the more important factor. I do want to say that nothing terrible has happened recently that made me do this, but I’d be lying if drama wasn’t a factor in my leaving. My life online has been relatively peaceful as of late, but I’ve had several traumatizing experiences in the past and I would only be kidding myself if I thought that being on Tumblr wouldn’t put me at risk of being traumatized again. In the past, I have been threatened with a callout in retaliation for standing up to someone’s toxic behavior. I have been screamed at by random strangers because they didn’t like my portrayals. I have watched as someone I considered one of my first friends in RP got exposed as a rapist. I have been ghosted by people with whom I’ve shared multi-year friendships. I have been viciously attacked in 3-4 page rants by people who I had once held in the highest esteem and who I nearly trusted with my IRL information, sometimes over the most trivial things. And I have had all-night panic attacks three times within the past year over things that happened online. I do not want to be in an environment where I’m at a constant risk of being exposed to people who will perpetrate these behaviors, because I no longer have the emotional energy to deal with them. I cannot have an all-night panic attack before a crucial exam, or deal with people trying to dig up dirt on me when I’m in the middle of practicing law. I’m 25 and I have visible grey hairs, for fuck’s sake. For my own mental health, I need to recognize that this platform has done me harms that I still haven’t healed from–and I need to move into a safer space for my own protection.

So here’s what’s going to happen. For the next few months until law school starts, we’ll have business as usual: I will be placing more emphasis on Discord RP while continuing to post headcanons and such and to RP on Tumblr whenever I feel like it. However. Starting August 22 (the start date of my law school’s orientation), I will be moving all of my RPs to Discord and Google Docs for the foreseeable future. I will set up private servers with people, and I can also have servers with multiple people in them–but the servers with multiple people will only be populated by friend groups who I know for a fact can get along, because I have no time or energy to moderate disputes should they arise. I may set up a private, password-protected Tumblr blog that stores all of my muse profiles and headcanons just so I can have them all in one place, but I will not be doing this for the public anymore–I intend to just stay tight with my friends.

Thank you all for reading and understanding. Thank you too for all being on this journey with me, and I hope we can have even more fun in this new chapter together. <3

天

[yinses]

college au! headcanons

gojo satoru, geto suguru & nanami kento

rqst: college au for nanami, geto and gojo?

a/n: so i divided it into three categories to help keep my head straight. honestly almost straight kicked gojo out of college bc i couldn’t decide on a major for him. the jjk discord server is heaven sent for my sanity. ty everyone again 🌺

last time i should have to post these. hoping everything is fine now. 

gojo satoru

MAJOR

—he starts off undecided for a long time. the fact that he’s on scholarship allows him to be more flexible with his classes given that he’s not responsible for costs. he grew up with expectations from his family but university is suppose to be his opportunity to spread his own wings and grow from his experiences.

—so he tries a bit of everything- sciences, music and social studies- anything to prompt a spark. (took a business class once and made a point to sit next to nanami everyday just to annoy him) by his second year he’s getting as frustrated as his counselor because if he doesn’t decide soon he’ll be a potential 5th year senior.

—he’s overthinking it but gojo wants to invest in what he believes will make the most significant impact to his ability. his counselor takes those crumbs and runs with it.

—he gets steered towards political science and actually excels at it (that advisor gets a raise). surprises most of the class with his analytical skills because they thought he was just a pretty boy- surprise he’s beautiful and smart.

—develops a vested interest in governmental policies. might run for president one day idk. brings donuts to his early am class. doesn’t share.

SOCIAL

—he’s not the jock per say, but as the star athlete of the basketball team, the school likes to take advantage of his image to draw in sponsors.

—his face is plastered all over the auditorium whether they’re in season or not. sometimes it’s not even to promote basketball, gojo is pretty and they’re not afraid to use it. which also makes him one of the most recognizable faces on campus.

—due to his student athlete contract, he’s not allowed to sign autographs freely in the event they’re attempted to be sold as quick cash. but yikes, he can barely walk to class without someone stopping him for a picture. to the best of his ability he tries to laugh it off, poster boy image and all, but it gets pretty fucking old and annoying quickly. especially when it makes him late for his next lesson and the instructor shows no sympathy.

—his height didn’t only help him get into basketball, but its also convenient when it comes to shouldering politely through the student masses. his golden rule is don’t make eye contact. the busier the crowds the easier it is for him to pretend like he could’t possibly have heard them.

—gojo doesnt scout fraternities, fraternities scout him. but he’s not interested in the slightest. as an athlete he already gets into any social circle he wants without the additional effort. that and he doesnt think he could tolerate an alpha male trying to exert his dominance without barking back.

—loves to show up to parties but always arrives late enough to the point where they don’t think he’s coming. it helps him slip in when he wants too. he’s a connoisseur of all alcohol varieties and a master of beer bong. he’s not necessarily the life of the party but his presence is kind of hard to miss.

RELATIONSHIPS

—he gets too much attention to date casually. most potential suitors are in it more for the benefits they receive than him anyway. he’s got enough on his plate with career indecisiveness and games to try to pursue anything serious before third year.

—he’s not completely celibate though. he tries to keep the same partners as long as he can. not only to keep himself clean and safe but because he often goes into an agreement to keep it casual. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. either way he gets coined as a ‘heartbreaker’ before the end of his freshman year. frankly the rumors obscure most of the truth and give him more freedom. people always expect that he’s with someone even when he’s not, which helps keep his invasive teammates off his back.

—gojo can easily graduate without securing something tangible but there is still a window for potential.

—you’re both his consistent classmate and occasional friends with benefits. its the former title that keeps bringing him back around. he cant exactly avoid you without subjecting himself to 8am classes. it helps that the sex is good too.

—he can text you an offer to study together for the next test and roll over after an hour and wreck you for the rest of the week. its hard to tell who gets addicted first but he does appreciate the way your skin looks when youre wearing his marks.

geto suguru

MAJOR

—he’s a STEM kid, particularly interested in bio-genetics to improve overall health. he believes that simply becoming a physician just keeps the issue at bay and his goal is to eradicate the problem at its source.

—since high school he’s been cataloging different programs across the country before deciding what he wanted and putting all his efforts into it. so it’s no surprise when he gets in.

—geto doesn’t need counselors but they’re required so he listens to them prattle on about using university as an opportunity to explore. this man came in with more college credits than most sophomores, he knows what he wants.

—always on-time to class and never misses an assignment. also that kid who goes above and beyond, even on the simple stuff. he rarely gets teased about it, not even behind his back. geto straight up scares some people even when he’s smiling.

—not afraid to correct teachers when they’re wrong. in fact he lives for it.

—he’s the one who graduated early and starts his master’s program before most of his age group declare their own majors.

SOCIAL

—he tends to frequent the same circles- handpicking his acquaintances out of class rosters, clubs and honor lists. he’s less in it for the friendship and more so to scout for potential research partners.

—met gojo in one of his science electives and literally carried him through the class. they somehow end up friends but only really hang out at each other’s places- bunch of chill movie nights and pizza.

—there is no interest in fraternities, but he does join university funded clubs that allow him to further his research. they give him unique access to labs, take him on trips to different conventions and have an alumni list a kilometer long for future collaborations.

—the man does not party but he will occasionally slip into quieter bars to ease some of his frustrations. he actually enjoys karaoke thursdays , not to sing for himself but the drunken antics of others bring him some amusement.

—smokes weed occasionally, but only his own product. it helps him relaxand fan out the stress. he never sells it but sometimes gojo nicks some of his stash. given that he gets drug tested often, geto doesn’t know how the athlete never gets caught.

RELATIONSHIPS

—not interested in seeking out relationships in the slightest. the man has a plan and he’s already married to it.

—he’s not completely immune to sexual advances though and occasionally splurges but none of the friends with benefits crap. he’ll hit it once and stay celibate for the rest of the year easily.

—you might be able to squeeze in as his fellow lab partner. remain invested in the work and not him and he’ll start noticing the little details of your company- the way you subtle perfume lingers on his lab coat hours after you’ve adorned for the day, how he knows you have to keep your hair up for safety precautions but he thinks about running his fingers through it daily and your mind, damn, he wonders what else you can come up with when he has you laid out on his sheets.

—if he’s interested, geto won’t hesitate to broach the topic. he’ll ask you out for coffee and when you try to bring up research he’ll be upfront about his attraction. ultimately if you start dating the two of you are an absolute unit- not that you weren’t before.

—you’re the one variable he didn’t plan for but he’s glad to have added you to the equation.

nanami kento

MAJOR

—he was made for the business world, brought by a CEO who raised him to inherit the company. administration major marketing minor.

—takes initiative in all his classes and is often coined as group leader for projects. mostly keeps to himself  and only speaks up when prompted or disagrees with something.

—he takes the earliest sessions possible because it means less people more often than not. doesn’t really care if its in the front, middle or back but always sits near the edge.

—doesn’t really want to but it looks good on his resume so he joins the marketing team where they present mock business plans for competitions. they win a lot. nanami honestly doesn’t care. but again it looks good.

—it only took him a brief summer internship to learn that he found nothing satisfying about board meetings and macro management.

—he decides to invest in law school to handle the company from a legal standpoint instead.

SOCIAL

— sort of like geto, only wants to make friends on a need be basis.

—he would rather keep to himself but knows the benefits of socializing so he interacts with his frequent classmates when he can- through study groups or car pooling to seminars.

—he does join a fraternity, its the same one his father did (and uncles, cousins, whatnot. its a generational thing). its geared towards bettering future leaders. they focus building resumes, charity events and run the organization like a proper business. nanami gets elected president by his third year and runs two terms.

—the only parties he attends are networking events- full of wine and fancy horderves. wine is plentiful but he’s always nursing a scotch on top of his headache. if one more person squeezes their stocks into a conversation he’s going to personally take down the whole market

—zero interest in college party life. spends some of his downtime at the campus theater watching old time movies and classic plays.

—he’s the coffee shop hoe. he wakes up early sometimes just to sit by the window and read some casual literature. has his own thermo that gives him free refills to cart to class. do not talk to this man before he’s had his caffeine.

RELATIONSHIP

—he probably has a high school sweetheart that he’s still clinging too, whether on the same campus or long distance. it helps him because he can’t really see himself pursuing a relationship while focusing on school.

—he’s been with you long enough that you understand his ambitions and won’t feel bested by them. the two of you have a system- starting the day off with sweet ‘good morning’ texts before class and ending the day with long conversations as you digest the last 12 hours.

—nanami is independent but he is thankful to have you to rely on when classes start to overwhelm him. the two of try to escape briefly for the weekend when you can. often going to near by reservations just to get off campus

—other times the two of you will cuddle close on your dorm bed, his long fingers combing through your hair while he reads over some notes for class.

—sometimes you have to be the one to tell him to take a break and to enjoy life while he can. even if that means dragging him the events and concerts hosted on campus. he resists at first but you can see the tension ebbing away as the night comes to a close.

—the two of you start living together in your senior year just because you can. he insists on buying a house. not only because he can afford it because it can be rented out after graduation. always the business man.

[vurbubera]

What happened with i-am-a-fish? A compilation:

A lot of people are confused about what happened with Tumblr user i-am-a-fish (who I'll refer to as Fish from here on out for the sake of readability), and a lot of rumor, misinformation and hyperbole is circulating. With this post I hope to compile the claims and evidence against him, examine their validity, and hopefully bring everyone up to speed.

Let's get the main thing out of the way first:

Veggiefact is a Twitter account with over 270k followers. 

The callout post it references is this one: https://ratsofftoya.tumblr.com/post/189087352976/this-is-a-repost-since-just-making-an-addition-to. A second call-out is making the rounds too, from bubblegumlopunny, and it’s a Google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Gv0ixX_jw9geWxFc07b9En--AGHcTqVBO1E6TLGLhHI/edit

Both callouts share about 90% of the same information. Bubblegum’s callout includes accusations of racism and lesbophobia as well, and more incendiary language and questionable charges than the Tumblr post, but in this post I’ll only focus on the accusations that Fish is a pedophile. 

The child porn accounts on Twitter

The “child porn accounts” it refers to are @krskiii, @Karbuitt and @kamawanu__. The last one is actually safe for work, provided you work at a place that’s cool with you being on Twitter, and the second-to-last one sort-of is, depending how your boss feels about suggestive pin-ups and sex jokes. 

Kamawanu posts fanart of various fandoms, but mostly fanart of Rick & Morty and Into the Spider-Verse. Kamawanu is an incest shipper, although they keep that content to a separate, adult-only and locked account. Karbuitt posts artwork of various Nintendo characters, but in particular Viridi from Kid Icarus. Neither of these accounts can be argued to be "dedicated to child porn" in any capacity.  

Although some Tumblr users would argue in earnest this is child porn as well.

Krskiii is the only account to have posted questionable content. While the vast majority of their feed is cute, safe for work anime art, they posted lolicon back in januari this year. Both callouts include a second screenshot from a tweet made in 2016 as well. 

Was this something Fish reasonably could’ve known about? According to the callout in the Google doc:

This is straight-up untrue.

Not only is it perfectly possible to follow Twitters without checking them first (and many follow-for-follow Twitters operate this way) but even if you do vet accounts, there is no archive or tags like Tumblr has to conveniently show you what kind of content you can expect. You have to manually scroll through a person’s timeline or media tab to see what they post.

You’d only see their most recent tweets, not ones they made almost a damn year ago.

Fish followed this account in a follow-spree that had him hit the follow limit for the day on November 12th, almost a whole year after it was made. Fish's claim that he didn't know about these pictures is not only perfectly believable; it’s unlikely that he would’ve even known about it unles he'd dug through this person's media tab quite far.

This is not the behaviour of someone who curated their following list and carefully vetted everyone on it. 

Was this irresponsible behaviour of him, towards both himself and his followers? Sure, you can make that argument. But it’s not evidence for anything more sinister than that.

The Pornhub joke

If you’re still on Tumblr in 2019, you were probably around for the porn purge of 2018, the one that had everyone scrambling for a new online home. With how few alternatives there are of social media sites that allow NSFW content, people started discussing, mostly as a joke, the possibility of moving to Pornhub. It was enough of a Thing that Pornhub's social media department caught wind of it.

I-am-a-fish decided to get in on the joke and created a Pornhub account and posted about “relocating” on Twitter and Tumblr:

How zany! A goldfish on a porn site!

People voiced discomfort over it, so Fish deleted the links from Tumblr and the Twitter bio, but didn't delete the tweet. The Pornhub account itself seems to have never been used.

The sex joke

Part of the callout post is the claim Fish “deliberately exposes minors to porn”, this + the Pornhub thing is what they're referring to.

At some point in late 2018 or early 2019 Fish decided this wasn't the direction he wanted to take his blog into, changed the original post, deleted the reblogs, and hasn't posted nsfw content since.

Also this happened a year ago.

The Discord server

Fish briefly ran a Discord server with a strict no-bullying policy that applied to everyone. This is not a political stance, but it was turned into one. This counts as “believing in reverse oppression”:

Most of the mods were adults, which is supposedly creepy:

One of them thought shipping characters who have been aged-up into adulthood isn't paedophilia:

Someone on the server thought “pedophilia” is a sexuality:

One thing to note here is that none of these actually involve Fish's own thoughts or actions, just those of people he's vaguely associated with (is Mother Allspite a close friend? An acquintance? Someone who volunteered to help moderate the chat?), as well as complete strangers. He's being associated with statements people have made who have no connection to him whatsoever.

Here are the claims I’ve seen making the rounds about the Discord server of which I’ve seen no evidence:

That the mods supported pedophilia

That the mods themselves were pedophiles

That pedophilia was treated as a sexuality you could tag yourself with

That the server was full of pedophiles

The claim that the server mixed minors with adults and didn’t section off nsfw content/discussion is at least a believable one, so I’m not including it here. It’s not proof of anyone being a pedophile, however. It just means the Discord server was poorly managed.

What to make of this?

There is no proof that Fish is anything worse than a young adult (despite the callout posts all making a huge deal out of him being an adult, he's still only 19 years old) who got too popular too fast and didn’t understand the responsibility that came with that. Even for his “worst” offenses there is no proof of ill intent behind them. At worst there is poor judgment, irresponsibility, and impulsiveness. There is certainly no proof that he is attracted to children, much less that he ever acted on it. 

Nevertheless,

(I have no idea where the “20+ Twitters dedicated to child porn” claim comes from and found no evidence whatsoever to support it)

[absolute-immunities]

I.

I decided to cut back on Discord today.

I spent a lot of energy on Discord last year. I spent maybe an hour each day reading, writing, fishing for conversation. But I didn't much.

Maybe I wrote too much. Maybe I wrote the wrong sort of thing. Maybe I was just out of place. For whatever reason, I didn't strike anyone as the kind of person they'd want to talk to.

And I know that. Even knowing that, I would still check. Every day. Every hour. The same channels. The same people, more or less.

It's hard to keep away from that kind of temptation. "Maybe something good will happen today," you say to yourself. Hope springs eternal.

II.

I thought about starting my own server. Not because I needed a place to post, I thought, but because I could make a place where people could talk to me.

I'd make it easy for them. Easy follow me, to talk to me, to message me. Easy to have a conversation. Easy to like and befriend

But people don't decide not to DM me because they don't know where I am, or because it's too hard to message me. They know how to message me. They just don't have anything to say.

III.

I've been cutting back for a while now.

I cut back to a few hours each day. Even that time I get back makes me happier. I read more. I think more. And I'm no more alone than before.

Today I told a friend that I felt I couldn't keep up with everything now. I wasn't reading as much. I wasn't watching as much television or as many movies.

He asked me why. And for a minute, I just couldn't figure it out. Where had all that time gone? How had I done so much more before? It wasn't work.

That's when I realized: I spent all that time over the last eighteen months on Discord, trying to make friends. And I hadn't made any.

IV.

I decided to leave a few Discord servers today. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep myself away if I didn't. And I knew there was nothing for me there if I stayed.

It hurts to leave. But staying has hurt for a while now. It hurts knowing you haven't found anyone you can take with you.

It's time to cut bait.

[piteouspeculiarity]

Defining Home: Extended Author's Note

Warning: This might contain spoilers for the series

(For clarity, when I say 'Tommy' etc in this post, I'm talking about the characters from my fics, not the content creators themselves.)

So it's done, huh? This note will include the sappy shit, the fun facts, then some of the more serious stuff, because I just didn't want to add an essay to the end of that chapter.

First of all, thank you all for the support along the way. Defining Home is easily my most popular series of fics I’ve ever written and I’ve been writing fanfic for years now. The comments and the kudos and the bookmarks were so very validating when I was new to the fandom, and still are. Hell, people have gifted me fics and written related fics to Defining Home, which blows my tiny mind. I haven’t gotten the chance to read a lot of them yet (procrastination I know thy name), but when I do, I’ll be leaving my best comments in thanks <3

I'll be honest, when I posted the first chapter of Enough, I never expected it to turn into what it did.

That first chapter was written in my phone notes at 3am, hours before an exam. I hadn't interacted with the fandom at all at that point, didn't even have a Tumblr for it, but boy oh boy did I get a warm welcome.

The point is, that first chapter was a very spur in the moment thing, mainly consisting of one scene I couldn't get out of my head (Tommy on a train to Wilbur's). I've gotten a few people telling me since then that they wished that they could write as well as I can, which is a huge compliment, but every person can write a fic like Enough. There are things that we all struggle with when it comes to writing: dialogue, prose, starting scenes - I have my own things I struggle with, things you might have noticed, things you might have not. You don't have to be a perfect writer to tell a story, especially in fandoms, where betas are easy to come across.

Write your story, even if its just for yourself. Posting that chapter gave me the chance to make new friends and I'll never stop being grateful for that.

One of those friends is Kat, who I've mentioned a couple times in the author's notes, but who honestly, I owe a lot to. Kat has encouraged me and been one of the main motivators to write this fic when I felt like it would never be finished, or that I'd never live up to other people's expectations. Sometimes, that meant motivating in some weird ass ways, but hey, it worked.

People who know me in discord servers might know that I'm a simp for Kat and it's damn true. Kat, I love you, you've improved my life more than you know in the last couple months and you deserve so, so much happiness.

In fear of love reciprocation from Kat, we'll move swiftly on to the more fun side of things.

Anyone feel like fun facts? You might already know some of these because I tend to overshare in author's notes, but I'm pretty sure some of them are new to all of you.

Barney the dog? Named after my own late labrador, who I love very much and loved to jump in lakes and need rescuing, time and time again.

I had no plans in moving Tommy in with Techno, hell, I had no plans in Techno moving to England at all. It was as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else when he told Tommy the news, but I latched onto the idea and ran with it. I think it worked out okay, in the end.

Techno has a draw in his bedroom full of parenting books, most of which were stolen from Phil.

After Tommy asked for help about what to do with Dream, Wilbur sent Dream a dm telling him he better not fuck anything up and if he did, Wilbur would not hesitate to humiliate him in front of millions of people. It was unnecessary, of course, but Dream was definitely a bit more cautious about what he said when he listened to Tommy’s explanation.

Some of my favourite things about writing Defining Home:

The Tesco v Asda discourse. Look, some of you just need to accept that Asda is the superior shop and get off your Tesco stanning bullshit. /j

The offers I would get for new chapters, some honourable mentions being newborns, siblings, diamonds and kidneys.

Now, I know that as much as I tried to, I won't have managed to include everything that everyone wanted from Defining Home, whether that's certain confrontations or scenes, I am sorry if I haven't included.

I don't imagine myself writing any more in the series, not because I think there isn't more I could write about, but because as a whole it feels complete to me, and any added oneshots I write would disturb that.

Right now Defining Home feels well rounded in a way that I'm proud of. The minute I realised that Enough was going to turn into a series I planned out how I wanted it to work. Maybe its just the maths part of my brain, but I like how there's three fics, with three chapters in each and how Tommy heals as you progress throughout the series.

My aim for the series was for the tone to get lighter as you went through, because yes, things kept happening (confrontation with dad, beach incident etc) but the point was that Tommy dealt with those things in different ways that he would have earlier on in the series. I have lots of thoughts and lots of emotions about how he felt safe enough with his family to experience nightmares and such. I made an effort in The Truth Behind Family to include more fluff, especially in the last two chapters, because I think it’s important to show that yeah, his parents’ abuse effected him, but it didn’t dictate how he lived his life. 

Like yes, I could write about their first Christmas together, for example, and add it onto the series, but I don’t think that I’d be able to do the rest of the series justice in that. Defining Home is largely about what the title implies, Tommy discovering what words like ‘home’ and ‘family’ mean beyond what he’s been told he’s stuck with and I believe that by the end of the series, he’s been successful in that. 

I'm so proud of the characters I wrote, Tommy in particular, for how far they've come in Defining Home, but I think that in a way, it’s time for me to let them go.

That’s not to say I’m done with writing for sbi! Hell no! 

I have a couple long fics in the works and a one shot I’m working on. The main fic I’m excited to focus on now Defining Home is finished is heavy heart, heavy head, heavy hero which, to put it simply, is an sbi royalty au, where unfortunate circumstances mean Tommy is forced to become King. It’s going to be a little more plot focused than Defining Home was and I am so very pumped to give it my full attention instead of leaving that lonely one chapter on AO3 like I have been doing.

I was 🤏close to making a Discord server, but ultimately decided I’m much more suited to causing chaos on other people’s servers than running my own. I think at this point the karma would be too great to even consider making my own server, so if you’d like to talk to me on Discord, keep an eye for me on other people’s servers - I mainly lurk, but I’m pretty active on one or two :D

On a more serious note, Defining Home deals with some heavy topics and I’ve had comments tell me that they relate to Tommy’s situation and wish that they had their own found family to run to. 

This Tumblr post has a list of phone numbers and places you can contact if you need help or want someone to talk to. Saying that, I recognise that a list as long as that can be daunting, so feel free to shoot me a message and I can either help you find the right one for you, or keep you company for a bit if you need it. 

Not all of us are lucky enough to have our own found family, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t forever, or that you’re alone. My dms and ask box are always open if you want someone to talk to.

Keep yourselves safe <3

- Lee