#madness combat sanford x reader

[multi-fandomsfreak]

Hmm reader whose a cook making food for the main 4 dissenters (Hank, Deimos, Sanford, and 2B)? Maybe make them dessert as well?

Cooking For The Main 4

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

This is actually kind of cute. Although I’m not that much of a cook myself, when I do I often do it with my grandparents when I visit them. Mostly desserts as well. Anyways hope you like this. This may be shorter than what I usually write but there was more characters to write so that may be why. ~ J/Blaze

Pronouns: Not Mentioned

Warning: ⚠️Starvation (Accidentally)⚠️

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: Main 4 (Hank + Sanford + Deimos + 2B)

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by bismaydraws on Newgrounds + Banner by saturnap on Pinterest

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Hank. J Wimbleton:

- Honestly, when you first started cooking for him he was a little shocked. They knew that you like to cook and although they haven’t directly said this to you he thinks you're really good at it but when you decide to cook him something for him he wasn’t sure how to feel. He was thankful of course but that’s all they knew how they felt. So they thanked you and started to eat it not knowing what to do and to say his body started to figuratively melt was an understatement, your food tasted really good. He’s surprised at how good you can make food seem and taste.

- After that he in his own way likes to ask you to make certain foods that he likes to which you accept without any hesitation because you liked cooking especially for a friend. They really like discreetly looking at you cooking, the dedication on your face to make sure everything was perfect for them. He couldn't help but feel happy that you willingly want to do this for him.

- I personally like to believe that Hank is more of a savoury person rather than a sweets person but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy them. He occasionally likes having desserts when he thinks he needs them. This definitely increased when they discovered your cooking.

- When they figure out that you baked something sweet he immediately asks permission from you to have some. Sometimes he just straight up just takes some without asking to which you actually find funny the known murder of Nevada secretly taking your sweets thinking you won’t notice but you do you just don’t tell him anything.

- When he has a metal jaw he has trouble with certain food due to it which upsets him internally because he thinks that they can’t have your food but luckily for them you're able to find and cook both savoury and sweet so he could have them. This just makes him appreciate you even more.

Sanford:

- When he sees you cooking he immediately starts asking a bunch of questions. Like when did you learn to cook? What do you like to cook? What’s the hardest thing you cooked? Etc. He’s just so interested in you and your skills he couldn’t help but ask.

- He definitely asks you to cook some of his favourite foods, specifically ones from when his mother used to cook (he’s defo a mama’s boy sue me). He feels at home when you cook his favourites. He can’t help but see a bit of his mother in you every time you do this, it makes him go soft on you. Smiling like a little child around you.

- He definitely prefers sweets over savoury. He has a major sweet tooth but doesn’t outright admit it but it’s pretty obvious that he does even if he denies it. He thinks that he needs to be seen as tough so he doesn’t say that he prefers sweets. But at home he constantly asks you to make him some.

- He prefers cakes over other pieces of sweets. He doesn’t really care what type as long as it’s cake he’ll immediately eat it. Just like Hank he likes to sneak some when he thinks no one will notice but unlike Hank he’s not as secretive as him.

Deimos:

- He’s in immediate awe when he discovered that you can cook. He jokingly refers to you as some lover's nickname. He finds it really cute that you can cook. I personally like to think that he likes it when someone he likes/appreciates can cook. He doesn’t know why he just does.

- Sometimes he likes to join in your cooking but it doesn’t really go well for him so with a pout on his face he results in just watching you do it which equally makes him happy. He sometimes likes to but in about what to add despite you being more of the expert cook

- I like to think he’s the same as Sanford. Prefers sweets over savoury but he’s more open about it. He has no shame in enjoying sweets especially if it’s coming from you. If people see something wrong with it then he’ll tell them off for it. It’s just food to him so he doesn’t care about what it is.

- Just like Sanford, Deimos really likes cakes but occasionally when he is feeling it he may have cookies instead. Whatever he is feeling like. He doesn’t even try to hide stealing it, not that he would be good at it. He just straight up goes to the kitchen, grabs the food and leaves. Not even acknowledging anyone.

2BDamned:

- 2BDamned already knew you could cook just like Hank and like Hank he was a little surprised when you cooked for him. Not that he doesn’t like it, he really appreciates it. It just catches him off guard. He sees you as some positive figure when you do this for him. He looks forward to seeing what you have cooked for him.

- I bet that he sometimes gets too infested in his work and often forgets to eat. He doesn’t mean to do this but sometimes he can’t help it. He needs to get the job done so he does it. This often means that you will have to bring him the food when he is busy with the work. Which makes him appreciate you even more. You must really care about him to do this.

- I personally think that he doesn’t really have a set on liking savoury food over sweets. He likes both the same so he doesn’t really have a preference for either one. Your food, regardless of what food it is, tastes really good to him.

- He doesn’t like to ask or sneak to get the food unlike the other 3. Mostly because he is too invested in his work or because he doesn’t want to bother you. If he’s desperate for your food then he’ll ask to which you happily make/give it to him.

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[nowheregoat]

May I ask about mayne a shy Sanford or Deimos? Imagine them on the first date kind of shy, y'know?

The Big boy! Sanford is little shy while taking you out on a date!

[idyat]

Overprotective Sanford x reader

They'll never hurt you again

Requested on Wattpad

Summary: The AAHW has captured you. That will not stand with your lover.

WARNINGS: Violent threats, torture, murder, lots of gore in general

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...What time was it? You couldn't know inside your empty, dark, sealed of from the world room. Your ennemies had got you, the chances of you dying in terrible agony were at an all time high. Lucky for you though, they wanted to try and get some information out of you first.

"So, are you gonna talk?" The ATP soldat in front of you asked. But there was no way you were saying anything. Ever.

"Oooh playing tough huh? If you love staying quiet so much maybe you'd like to have your throat ripped out?" They threatened, pointing a knife towards said throat.

You couldn't do anything to fight either. Your arms, your legs, even your torso were strapped to a very uncomfortable chair. Judging by the look, it was electric too.

While you were dwelling on your thoughts, the soldat got a call through their earbud.

"Huh? Yeah don't worry I'm not actually killing them. Might cut the bitches tongue though. You guys do your jobs and make sure absolutely no one's breaking in okay? Okay."

They were probably serious about the tongue thing. Your body was already covered in cuts, burns and bruises.

But you knew your condition wouldn't last long. You knew he would just need to know about what was going on to bring hell upon these assholes and their base. Which is why, even through the pain you managed to smile.

"Oh? You're smiling now?" Your captor had focused back on you.

"What's making you so happy huh? Is there something funny going on on the wall?" They were baby-talking you and turned around to this time look at the wall in front of you with stupid movements. Idiot, they're only embarrassing themselves even more.

You suddenly got punched in the face real hard.

"Are you enjoying this, huh?! You like being hurt or do you like being annoying, you stupid brat?!" They continued to hit you as they yelled.

"Maybe you'll enjoy the stretchers even more then, you useless fu-"

The building's alarm suddenly went off. Filling every room with a flickering red light and ear-splitting ring.

"What the-" The soldat got once again interrupted, this time by the sound and sight of explosions, screams, and guts flying out not far from your own placement.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" You smiled even more at their panic.

Both of you knew that motherfucker was already dead.

One last explosion of your interrogation rooms door, and their body was already getting hooked from across the room, right before it was their heads turn to get crushed onto the ground. And when I say crushed I mean crushed. Brain and eye flying out and everything.

It would almost gross you out if you weren't concentrated on the hunk responsible for the carnage. Well, "hunk". At the moment all he was was terrifying. Blood and shadows covering his face with only the light of his sunglasses perceivable as he wiped out everyone in his way with horrid shrieks of agony.

He looked up before bolting towards you. Your heart almost stopped until you felt your face being grabbed and restraints being torn as if they were mere paper.

"Oh god, Honey are you alright?! Holy shit, what did they do to you..."

You could almost see the darkness fading away as he worringly yelled if you were okay.

"I'm definitely better now that you're here." You smiled, still panting from the pain and recent beating.

He finally destroyed all the straps connecting you to the chair before grabbing you and tightly, yet gently, hugging you.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I took so long just look at what they did to my sweetheart..." Sanford's voice was trembling as he scanned over your wounds to make sure none needed urgent attention. It was quite funny honestly, to see such a murderous and sadistic man turn so nurturing within a few seconds, all for his lover. It's a very strong contrast for one person.

"Hey, Love, it's okay! You saved me in the end, isn't it all that matters?"

"Yes...But-"

You gave him a kiss. "No buts Honey. It's all over now. Let's just go home."

He nodded before picking you up bridal style. No way he was going to let the love of his life walk with legs injured like that. He also took the time to get to the entrance (or to blow up a hole in the nearest wall) to comfort you and made sure you were ok physically and mentally. You were the one who just got kidnapped and tortured, there's no way he's the only one getting reassured!

You two eventually made it outside. To which your boyfriend suddenly stopped.

"...Uuh...I got here all by myself...Could you call Deimos to come pick us up?"

[nevadancitizen]

-> FASCINATION WITH THE ORDINARY

synopsis: your world is vastly different from the nevada native to madness combat. after the main three + 2bdamned get transported to your world, they each find things that fascinate them.

word count: 2.5k

characters: hank, deimos, sanford, 2bdamned, player! reader

trigger warnings: ehh slight yandere/obsession but could also be read as super heavy pining if you're not into that lol

notes: madness combat fandom arise. madness combat fandom come back to me (also set in @/saltymongoose 's self-aware au)

For the sake of consistency, let’s imagine that the Player lives in a big, lonely, woodsy and plain-sy plot of land. There’s little to no outside human interaction, and lots of animals wandering through the area with a river running through it. For the wildlife, I’m basing it on the American South because I’ve lived here my entire life and know how they act.

SUNSETS & SUNRISES

2BDamned would be the most entranced, since he has the most memories from before the fall and before Hank killed the sun. He’s an early riser by nature (since his body has conditioned him so he’s mostly overworked and under-rested, as unhealthy as it is), so he leans more towards the beauty of a sunrise, towards the light that starts to paint the dark sky with hazy orange shades and rosy hues. He likes breathing in the crisp air and the way it almost sends a shock through his lungs.

But the sun stirs a lingering feeling of nostalgia, though, for the way things were before everything fell to madness. Doc tries his best not to let the thoughts get the better of him as you slip through the front door and out onto the front porch, carrying two steaming cups of coffee. 

God, he could imagine staying like this forever: just you, him, a beautiful sunrise, and coffee. Surely the way you pay attention to him, the way you get up extra early to watch the sunrise, the way you doctor his coffee just right – they’re all examples of how you care for him, just as he cares for you. But for now, he’ll just bide his time, blowing the steam off the surface of his coffee and purring, soft and raspy, both at the taste and because of your company.

But that doesn’t stop the others from appreciating the astounding view at dusk, because Sanford and Deimos are more partial to sunsets after long days. They like lounging in the adirondack chairs set up around the fire pit, cracking open a few beers, and simply relaxing with you. (Don’t worry, Sanford will gather firewood and Deimos will set it alight if it’s a little too cold for your taste.)

They’re fresher clones, so they don’t remember the sun well, if at all. They both always go quiet when the sun starts to dip below the horizon. Sanford props his tea sunglasses on top of his head and Deimos sets his cigarette in the ashtray as they both stare at the way the light turns the clouds purple and paints the sky with pink streaks. It stirs something sad in your heart – both of these men are pushing and just over the cusp of thirty, yet they don’t know the simple sweetness of a sunset. 

But as soon as night overtakes the sky, they both turn their attention back to you. Deimos makes some suave comment about your beauty being nothing in the face of a sunset in that rumbling, smooth voice of his, and Sanford gives him a pointed glare. Sanford points out that your beauty and the beauty of nature are two whole different things, but keeps showering you with not-so-inadvertent compliments, leaving you flustered and blushing from both grunt’s words.

Hank is somewhat of an anomaly with this one. All of the grunt’s biological clocks are absolutely porked from their time without a sun, but Hank’s affected the worst by far. (That, and he doesn’t really care for the sun. He literally slaughtered it.) Therefore, he’s more privy to waking up in the middle of the night and dragging you onto the roof to look at the stars. 

He likes laying on his back with you on his chest, pointing out the brightest stars and asking you questions about them. (He doesn’t really care, he just likes hearing your voice.) He loves your vivid descriptions of the constellations and how you describe them in intricate ways. To Hank, they’re just sparkly, unreachable dots in the sky, but it seems like, to you, they’re beautiful: like millions of silver nails driven into a dome of dark blue velvet. 

He savors the moments like these the most, when you’re alone with him. There’s no sound except for the crickets and dog-day cicadas and spring peepers and your voice and Hank’s sputtering purring. Honestly, it’s as it should be – without those other pesky dipshits ruining your time together. (Well, he can tolerate Doc, but that annoying extraction team could go fuck themselves for all he cared.)

ENTERTAINMENT

Sanford hates being lazy. He hates feeling like he’s not doing anything useful, even if he’s being useful by resting. The only real way to make him sit down and stop moving is by trapping him on the couch, laying your head in his lap, and turning on the TV. (Even if, for the first thirty minutes, he’s too focused on you and your body heat and how fast his heart is beating to even consider looking at the TV.)

But the thing he loves watching the most isn’t any sort of movie with amazing cinematography or show with riveting writing – it’s infomercials. Specifically, infomercials from the 90’s to the late 2000’s. He likes seeing what things could’ve been like if there was no madness in Nevada, because things are oddly peaceful (at least, to him) in your world. Billy Mays and Cathy Mitchell make him wonder about domestic life with you (even if the Jupiter Jack and the Xpress Redi-Set-Go are completely obsolete by now), and how these little gadgets would make your life together supposedly go smoother.

He likes combing his claws carefully through your hair as you both watch these people play up how useful these obviously useless inventions are. He tries to avert his eyes and act interested in the TV as you look up at him and point out how the Red Devil Grill was recalled because it got so hot it collapsed and caused fires, but can’t. He just can’t keep his eyes off you when you look up at him so sweetly, and can you blame him? You just make his face so warm and his heart beat so fucking fast…

Deimos has always had a fascination with electronics, but it’s mostly been from a tactical and weaponized standpoint. But he’s discovered (well, really, you introduced him to) video games. He absolutely loves curling up into your side, purring and providing commentary as he watches you play. (Because, despite his trying, he hasn’t really gotten a hang of the controls yet.)

He loves more story-fueled games with characters he can really get attached to. He likes investing himself in things and people that don’t actually affect him, because seeing your favorite character go through dire straits or even die hurts for a little while, but it’s nothing compared to seeing someone get eviscerated right in front of you. And, yeah, he totally cried when Arthur Morgan died (and totally played it up so that you’d comfort him). 

He also likes draping himself over you in the middle of a boss fight, wriggling and nuzzling into your cheek, causing you to giggle, lose focus, and, obviously, die. He strings together half-hearted apologies through his raspy purring, but he’s not really sorry. More deaths means more time spent with him, and internally, he’s completely and honestly unapologetic for his underhanded tactics. 

Due to the nature of his administrative role, Doc spends a lot of time in front of screens. He likes to unplug and unwind by reading, no doubt with a straight-up hazardous amount of coffee by his side. He prefers reading with you with an arm wrapped around your shoulder, whether you’re also reading or working on something else. Though he’s inexperienced (and sometimes even shy) with these types of things, he’s more than happy to ease into affectionate touches and romance that kills his common sense with you. 

His tastes are often cheap, but when he earns enough dough, he likes to splurge on second-hand college anatomy textbooks. No, he’s not planning on going to university, but he wants to know the inner workings of the human system (and, therefore, the inner workings of you). He also likes speculative biology and seeing what humans think about other intelligent species potentially being out there.

He would absolutely be elated (though he tries his best to hide it) if you took his interests seriously and discussed them with him. He tries to keep you in his makeshift office and away from the others so you can continue to spend this precious alone time with him, but that doesn’t stop the red-hot flare of jealousy as one of the others bursts in with a childish ask about something that should be obvious. (Of fucking course you wouldn’t want to go for a walk, Deimos, have you seen the weather out? Leave you and him alone!)

Obviously Hank would love gorefest and splatter film movies because of his all-encompassing and absolute love for carnage, and he’d love them even more if you got scared and hid yourself in his shoulder or chest. It’s clear that he’s your strongest and most capable vessel, so he clearly agrees with your choice to choose him as your protector (even if that choice is based on an instinctive need to hide). 

He also loves WWE and MMA fighting. When given the choice, he opts for MMA because it’s real and bloody and he prefers seeing people push themselves to their absolute limit rather than some predetermined fight that serves a higher storyline. (But, then again, he really likes the clip of Undertaker breaking into Paul Bearer’s house during an interview and throwing a cabinet at him because, what the fuck? He’s never thought of that before! Using things from the environment when out of weapons instead of his fists could be an improvement. Maybe he can learn a thing or two from these fake fighters…)

And, yes, if you give him access to Twitter he will turn your entire timeline into those backyard fight videos and dashcam car crashes. He doesn’t mean to, it just happens.

ANIMALS

Being a natural night owl, Deimos loves keeping a lookout for what critters come out at night. When he’s on the front porch with you, smoking a cigarette and waving away mosquitoes, he makes sure to keep an eye out for weird and unusual wildlife. (While pressed against your side and purring loudly, no doubt.)

He likes watching the whip-poor-wills swoop down and catch the moths that swarm around the overhead porch lights. Yes, he will try to catch one, but backs off when you tell him to. Instead, he opts for digging in the dirt to find beetles and grubs to toss up in the air for the small birds to catch. He will kinda feel bad if the beetles hit the ground but will continue to throw them to the birds when you tell him insects are basically immune to fall damage, so… no harm, no foul.

He’s also absolutely enamored by raccoons. He likes throwing food to them from the safety of the porch and watching them eat with their little grabby hands. He’s very reckless so, despite your warnings, he’ll try to squirrel one away inside the house. (He does this multiple times and, without fail, gets bitten each time. 2B has given him multiple rabies shots after shooing the raccoons out with a broom.)

Speaking of Doc, he enjoys going out in nature and finding decaying things just to see how many buzzards arrive. He excuses it with something about wanting to see if decomposition works the same across both your world and his, but he secretly finds some relation with the birds – something about being deliverers and arbiters and negators of death. (Though the last one really only applies to him.)

He also likes the rare sightings of wild horses. He’ll go out of his way to (carefully, shyly) rouse you from whatever you’re doing to go take a look at the majestic beasts, and he’ll be even more excited if there’s a foal wandering between the stocky legs of the adults. 

He just barely brushes his fingers against yours as you both stand on the edge of the treeline and watch them graze. Seeing the foal break from the herd, kick out and tumble and fall over and immediately get back up sparks… something in his heart. A vision. Just you, just him, linked pinkies, and a future together, with this warm feeling in his chest.

Hank really likes the more dangerous creatures. He gets along well with cottonmouth and other venomous snakes (and “gets along well” really means that they’re mean as can be and strike as often as possible while he just holds them and smiles at you). 

If you don’t keep a close enough eye on him, he’ll wander off and try to provoke larger animals, like bobcats. To him, they’re just tiny little pussycats, even if they pose a real threat and could kill him. Please don’t let him go too far, because if he comes across a bear, he will try to wrestle it, and Doc doesn’t like having to do emergency surgery on the island countertop in your kitchen. 

On multiple occasions, he’s come back to the house after being missing for hours, reeking of skunk spray. He just purrs happily as you tell him to strip and hold still as you spray him down with the hose.

Sanford is way calmer with his interactions with wildlife. He likes sitting on the dock with you and watching the fish swim by (because he’s impressed both by the fish and by the river – he’s never seen water in such great quantity!) Set him up with a hook, lure, and line and he’ll be entertained for hours. Though he struggles a bit with making streamers and fishing knots due to his big hands and claws, he’s more than patient when you teach him (mostly because he gets to spend time with you). 

When he’s fishing, he likes to look around and observe – mostly because fishing is a waiting game. His favorite visitors are herds of whitetail deer, especially when summer is in full swing and the fawns are ready to start exploring. They remind him of his family, mainly because of the way the does don’t really care which fawn is theirs, just that each is getting enough milk. You point at them and discuss them with him in small whispers because you don’t want to spook them. 

Again, it reminds him of his want for a domestic life with you. Just basking in the mottled sun that seeps through the trees, dipping your bare feet in the cool river water as a catfish tugs on the line – it’s all he wants, really. Now if he could just get the rest of the grunts to leave you alone… excluding Deimos, of course.

[chestertophat]

You fall asleep on the ride home from a mission with them

The reason that you all didn't get a heads up for this one is because I wrote it in one day, I'm so out of practice 🥲

Hank

I personally don't think he would have even noticed that you fell asleep unless he looked over at you, he's a good driver and keeps his eyes on the road.

Once he gets you both home though, he'd look over and realize you're asleep. He thought "that's adorable, but how can someone fall asleep after all that? They must be really tired."

Instead of being a jerk and leaving you out he gently picks you up and carries you in, and drops you on the fucking couch.

Doc/2bdamned

He noticed that you were asleep when you didn't respond to what he was talking about like you usually do. He thought that it was adorable and that you need a well deserved rest.

He'd also carry you in, but instead of dropping you on the couch, he'd get someone to open your bedroom door so you're not in the way while you sleep.

Deimos

He would be talking the entire drive back, if you're a naturally quiet person he'd be talking to himself for a damn long time before he looks over and realizes "oh shit they're asleep"

Don't worry he's not hurt that you fell asleep when he was talking, he's actually worried because you fell asleep after murdering a bunch of people and while he was talking to you.

He would try to carry you but ended up nearly dropping you. He felt bad after that and walked you to your room.

Sanford

He's ok with doing all the talking, he's friends with Hank for crying out loud! So it only started bothering when he noticed that you're being even less responsive than Hank. He got confused and looked over to see that he was basically talking to a wall.

He shut up because he didn't want to be rude and wake you up, he thought it was cute and smiled. He also carries you to your room and tucks you in.

[mr-i-dont-care-sick]

Madness combat x android reader

—it means the speech of some character—

sorry for any english mistake and short chapter

everything was as usual, red sky, darkness, the air smelling like burning coals, just another day of missions for a smoking idiot and his friend with sunglasses, funny how the thought of him wearing those glasses when the sun died, Sanford and Deimos were returning from a mission to get supplies, Sanford was driving the stolen truck and Deimos was looking out the window with music playing on the truck's radio.

would just be a normal day picking up, well… it would have been

Deimos who was watching through the window notices a blue light shining in the middle of nowhere in nevada

—hey Sanford, what is that?— Sanford looks at the dim light and the truck, the two take their weapons and get out of the truck to take a look at the unknown light, approaching the place they see that the dim light comes from something buried in the ground, Deimos cleans it a little and finds a bunker, Deimos looks confused at the bunker door

—what does a bunker do in the middle of nowhere?—

Sanford shrugs —maybe someone was hiding something?— sanford says

— is there anyone alive in there?— Deimos opens the bunker door and looks inside, everything was very silent and the only thing that illuminated was the blue light that he saw from inside the bunker, the two went down the stairs of the bunker with their weapons in hand, they walk through the small corridor that takes them to a room, there are several computers with papers everywhere, on the left side there was a skeleton with clothes of scientists, Deimos approaches the screen of one of the computers while Sanford looks at a completely dark capsule "insert access card" Deimos looks at the skeleton and takes a small card he sees in his pocket, the skeleton was strange, it didn't look like a grunt, he goes back to the computer and puts the card in a small machine on the side, “loading…” Sanford and Deimos watch the wires start to glow and go straight to the capsule.

they raise their weapons when they see the capsule open and a person comes out of it...

—u̵͕̭̘ͅn̶̗̐k̵͉̖͌̚n̵̑̀o̴̤̠̙͙̍w̶͚̯̱n̵̈̍͗ c̸̹̞̺͐̄̑r̴͔̃̓̈́e̴̩̊ą̸̢̝̻̔̽̈́̕t̵̲̖̯͑u̶̽͝r̸̞̋̂́̇è̴̱́̈́̍—

the chapter will probably be edited for improvements, any ideas or tips are welcome!

[warcriminalcommie]

Somewhere In... Deez N—

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'Sup. My name is Ay, I'm just your local (cringe as fuck) idiot on her i d i o t i c writing account. I honestly am still pretty weirded out about posting shit on Tumblr, specifically writing, but still. I gotta get used to it SOMEHOW.

Basically what I currently write is Madness Combat X Reader. I might consider Roblox X Reader later but I'm trying my best with my motivation right now.

And to the people who are from my Wattpad, pretend my update schedule history thing is actually existing and that I am a very competent writer that writes very frequently.

So uh. Here are the request rules, I suppose?

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Very epik, go ahead. (I will do this.)

Fluff.

Angst.

Platonic.

Platonic Character/Reader + Child!Reader/Child!Character. (It will be marked with a "+" or "&" instead of an "X". If not, then I forgot to mark it as such.)

Female!Reader.

Slightly suggestive stuff.

Violence and bloody stuff. (Kind of obvious since it's Madness Combat.)

Yanderes. (nO— I won't be romanticizing the yandere actions. All yandere relationships are abusive and unhealthy, y'know.)

Alphabets. (Fluff alphabet, SFW alphabet, Angst alphabet, etc... but of course not the NSFW alphabet.)

Boi what the hell boi. (I won't do this.)

Pedophilia. (Romantic/Sexual stuff with a Child!Reader/Child!Character. Like what the fuck?)

Rape. (Pro-Shippers when.)

Incest. (Pro-Shippers when. - Part 2.)

Smut.

Male!Reader. (I have no idea on how to write a Male!Reader lol.)

Gender-Bent Characters. (Because their personalities will be really weird to work with. Just thinking about a gender-bent Deimos or something makes my head hurt.)

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Oh, and the characters I'll write for. Right.

CHARACTER LIST.

Hank.

Deimos (The Deimos simps are wild bro. They're almost as wild as the Auditor and Phobos simps IF NOT EVEN WORSE— (And that's coming from someone who's favorite is Deimos.)).

Sanford.

2BDamned.

Sheriff.

Jebus.

Tricky.

Auditor.

Scrapface.

ROMP.fla.

Hot Dog Vendor (The most important character.).

Happy Hank.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

I'll be writing one-shots, head-canons, and alphabets. B)

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

I'm also afraid I won't be able to write anything LGBTQ+ because I absolutely suck at representing groups that I am not from and I really do not wish to screw up the representation (Unless you like - Want a demisexual or maybe someone on the asexual spectrum. That's all I can provide.). My apologies.

And that's all, for now.

EDIT: Some characters have been removed due to my lack of knowledge on them, for those who have requested them I'll still try to push the requests out but I'll no longer be taking requests for any character not listed here.

[saltymongoose]

ohh my goodness. i've been waiting to send these until requests were open bc i wanted to hear ur thoughts.

might be a little silly, but consider: matching outfits. player gathers clothing materials!! and coordinates outfits one day on missions!!!! even makes props!!! hijinks ensue. idk if this had already been disscussed before, but thank you for your time and consideration, ily. you are so cool <<3333!!!!!!! everything you make is so scrumptious!!!!! <33

Omg, thank you, this is so nice of you!!! :D ❤❤❤❤ I love this art so much, you have no idea - the way you portray the boys here fits so well (as always lol). And the memes too omg!! I can't even put it into words to be honest with you, these are just excellent. I do feel slightly bad for that random grunt though, something tells me they'll be sleeping with one eye open after seeing that lmao.

(Also, thank you so much for the compliments too of course, you're far too kind. (˶⸃ ⴰ⸃˶)♡ I could say the same to you btw; your art is always just *chef's kiss* perfection.)

Anyhow, I've actually thought a bit about this scenario before, but this just inspired me, so I wrote some short hcs for you. Hope you like them! <3:

The Player Matches Outfits with Them ft. The Main 3 + 2BDamned

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior)

- [2BDAMNED] -

2BDamned knew that you had been working on a little project - one that you tried to keep as secret as possible. He was curious, but not enough to encroach on whatever boundary you set regarding it. All he knew from your rather lackadaisical explanation was that he'd be very surprised when he saw. And, well, he was.

The first conscious thought in 2BDamned's head is the question of how you've managed to make a mask that looks so similar to his without borrowing the original. It's really spot on; the seams are in the exact same place, and even if yours has to have been configured differently to fit your more human facial features, the silhouette is exactly the same.

(In the end, he concludes that you simply must've studied his appearance for a while to truly replicate his mask, which makes him feel almost giddy in a way he might've deemed embarrassing before meeting you. But now he's just overcome with happiness that you were obviously interested enough in him to do this.)

He openly praises your skill in sewing, knowing that grunt clothing is ordinarily much too large for you. And you'd notice how the fondness he holds for you seeps into the words, his gaze lingering on you in a way that left you feeling warm.

If you could see underneath his own mask, you'd be able to see the smile he was unable to bite back as well, and the flush that he'd try to will away otherwise. And while he is incredibly impressed (and happy) at what you've managed to put together, he will mention that you could also borrow his actual things once in a while, if you feel so inclined. He just happens to think one of his own jackets might suit you too.

(Of course, he doesn't miss the chance to lean real close to adjust your mask as he says this either, just to fluster you even more. You really have no idea how cute you are, especially looking like this.)

- [DEIMOS] -

A full minute of unintelligible sputtering leaves Deimos' lips the moment he sees your new outfit, and you laugh at the way his face goes bright red. When you said you had a surprise, this was one of the last things he expected.

Luckily for him, he's able to quickly gather his composure, and his excited ramblings turn into smooth flirts that'll leave you blushing instead of him. Expect all sorts of comments about how cute you looked dressed up like him, and praises about how you look even better in his fit than he does.

He insists on taking a ton of pictures together, and you can bet he keeps his favorite in his wallet. (It's one of your faces smushed together as you both grin at the camera, making a heart with your hands.)

He considers this a total power-couple thing; matching shirts are so low-effort compared to this, if anything it shows you perfect you are together. Although there is one thing he'd help you change from your original DIY version of his outfit - those sheet-metal dog tags you made can't compare to the real thing in his opinion, so why don't you just use one of his instead?

Also, don't think he won't take advantage of the fact that you both are the only ones with headsets. Even if yours isn't functioning (because let's be honest, finding one in working condition would be difficult), he'll fix it up quickly just so he can talk more directly to you during missions. And whenever else he wants to, to the irritation of the other three.

- [SANFORD] -

Sanford would consider his outfit to be fairly standard, but he recognized that you were emulating him the moment you slid the sunglasses on. And he couldn't stop the goofy smile from splitting his face when he realized it either, not even attempting to hide his amusement at what you've done.

(He only gets visibly happier when you 'threateningly' brandish your wire hook in his direction. You really put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?)

While Sanford has the amount of restraint in him to not openly brag about you doing this, he can't deny the rush of satisfaction he gets from seeing you in what is an unmistakable homage to him. If you look closely, you'll see him straighten up in pride whenever you come into view. (It's almost like preening, really. If he weren't so flushed, perhaps you'd think it to be more of an ego thing, but no.)

Although, he does show a little bit more concern about some aspects of your outfit. Like your boots, for example; he can't count the number of times he's gotten blisters while breaking in his own, so you should expect him to ask you if you need any plasters (or help bandaging yourself as well).

(If you decide to accept his offer, you'll find yourself questioning whether he ever officially trained as a medic before. He surely has the gentleness befitting of one, shown in how he carefully cleans your wounds and softly applies the ointment, his calloused fingers gently smoothing over the plasters on your Achilles heels afterward. Although you have the slightest suspicion that this tenderness from him is known only to you.)

Sanford will also make it part of his routine to pluck your glasses from your nose and clean them after he does his own. Afterward, he'll slowly lean in when he places them back on you to make sure he doesn't poke you in the eye. Neither of you mention that you could do it yourself, or that his decision to slide them back onto the bridge of your nose himself was highly unnecessary. Maybe he just does it to get a better look at the way you blink up at him and blush, or perhaps it's for some other reason, who's to say? Either way, you have no complaints.

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Your laughs are muffled under Hank's hands as he cups your face, tilting it up to look closely at you. His excitement at your new look is almost palpable; you can easily tell from how he's shaking and hurriedly looking over, his gaze never stopping on one spot for longer than a second. He just wants to take in everything about your new look, is all.

He'll almost insist on doing a mission with you wearing it, not only because the idea sounds fun to him (with his love of carnage and all), but also because it provides an excellent opportunity to rub in everyone else's faces that you chose to copy his outfit. Not theirs.

In a way, he also becomes just a tad more doting than usual. He busies himself with dusting you off, and adjusting your goggles and the lapels of your coat whenever another skirmish is finished. It's his way of checking you over and making sure your hard work wasn't damaged either.

(Plus, he'd hate it if this instance of you copying him was cut short because of some worthless grunts' attempts at harming you.)

You'll catch him sticking closer to you than usual too, and he does so for multiple reasons. First is that he just prefers to be near you whenever he can anyway (the warmth of your presence is one of his favorite things, and it gives ample opportunity to show off around you), but now there's also the fact that your outfit will freak out your enemies. As you can imagine, he enjoys that immensely, and what better way to improve this experience than to have his Player join him?

In a way, Hank also sees this as a sort of 'claim' you've put on yourself too. Wearing your significant other's clothing is kind of a thing with some grunts, and while he knows they aren't really his clothes, there's still some of that same sentiment there that makes him purr just a bit louder whenever he sees you in that new outfit of yours. It tells the world you're his in some way, even if not officially. So why wouldn't he be happy about that?

[headlessjest]

How about some romantic stuff!! Some of y'all need your romance.

Hanging out HCs

Ft: Hank, Deimos, Sanford, Jedediah, Tricky, Sheriff, 2BDamned, Phobos, and Auditor.

Hank:

・I think y'all would probably just stay home.

・You both just had a very stressful mission, so why not relax back at the apartment.

・They'll probably watch TV with you with the few tv stations Nevada can have.

・Cuddling is something he can do with you too. Just on bed or on the couch and just cuddle.

・There will be a couple times where he just lays on the ground with you and wonder what the hell happened to this place.

・"(Name)... Thank you.."

Deimos:

・Going out and eating Burger Gil's!

・Deimos just wants to enjoy his favorite food place with you.

・This can also be an excuse to to eat at Gil's in general, but it's nice to do it with you.

・When y'all are done at eating at Gil's, maybe a quick trip to the bakery.

・He threw up the Burger Gil's on the way there so you had to carry him back home.

・"That burger was sure good, but you're just as good."

Sanford:

・Alright, endless stary night, blanket, and you two. That's how it's gonna go.

・Just you two hanging out on a hill and looking up on the stary night, relaxing.

・There will be a few times bandits will try and get you two, but that's why y'all brought guns to this evening.

・Other than getting interrupted by bandits and a couple of zeds, this hangout is wonderful for the both of you.

・You accidentally fell asleep during this, but Sanford didn't mind carrying you back.

・"Thank you for this time, sweetie.."

Jedediah:

・Going scavenger hunting.

・Jedediah surprisingly enjoys collecting stuff. It calms him down, and doing it with you makes him extra calm.

・You'll probably find a old coin or a rock with a cool texture and look to it and dash back to Jeb to show him.

・He also sometimes finds cool looking rocks and gives them to you. Like penguins.

・After going around and finding some cool stuff, you and Jeb head back home and organize all the stuff you both found.

・"These are beautiful, darling.. Just like you."

Tricky:

・Y'all go partying.

・I think y'all would also listen to your both favorite songs when partying. (His being all ICP songs and the chicken dance remix.)

・I think after the partying stuff is over with, y'all kinds just head back home and relax after the long night.

・If you get overwhelmed at the party, Tricky will notice and try to find a way to calm you down.

・Other than that y'all actually have a great time.

・"CL0WN L0V3S Y0U!!!1!1!"

Sheriff:

・I think y'all would hang out at a nice bar. (If possible that is..)

・I think he took you to the bar in the first place because it was the easiest place to go without him freaking the fuck out and being horrified.

・Also, because he's been busy lately and wanted to spend time with you.

・He might also get a little drunk from drinking too much.

・You also had to drag him back home.

・"Darlin'... When do you get so beautiful/handsome?"

2BDamned:

・Y'all also stay home.

・He just wants to relax with you and just hang out in bed. Nothing much really.

・He also is just a little stressed with everything, so relaxing with you seems like a perfect thing for the time being.

・I think y'all would also watch a quick movie for fun. Like a older movie from the later 90s and early 2000s.

・Other than that, relaxing with you makes his day better, no matter what.

・"This means a lot to me, (Name).. Thank you.."

Phobos:

・I think he would dance with in his office.

・The red lighten room and the slow jazz playing in the background, just you two slow dancing for the joy of it.

・Phobos made sure that no one would bother you both during this. I mean, quite literally.

・I think during this, you might doze off a bit from the slow atmosphere.

・Phobos does notice this and y'all get ready for bed.

・"Tonight was lovely.. We should do this again.."

Auditor:

・I think y'all just hang out and watch cat videos all night long.

・Most romantic thing I've ever heard.

・I think you both would also hold eachothers hand during too. Auditors love language is physical touch. (Somehow..)

・Another thing is that whenever you both see a cat that reminded of you both, you would point it out.

・This also made you both question about getting a cat.

・"Hm, a fur baby seems nice."

I'm absolutely shaking rn. Ate an entire tub of coffee icecream, also mixed with the excitement of watching the fnaf movie tomorrow!!!!

-Jester

[imjustheremam]

Halloooooooooo!!!

Here's my request!

How would the yandere madcom main four treat a reader who's pretty shy and unaware of their obsession?

Oh wow i never thought I get a request but LETS DO THIS!!

MAIN 4 WITH SHY READER WHO IS UNAWARE OF THEIR OBSESSION

Warnings READ REAAAAAD!!!:this is Gender Neutral, there will be Swearing, Obsession, Possession Manipulation, Threats, Punishment, Kidnapping, Isolation, Violence, Mentioned threats of choking and/or drugging and actual choking and drugging, spoilers . Also I suck I doing yandere but I'm learning, oh and body parts and burning skin!!

2BDAMNED

Ok let's get to the point 2bdamned is a sadistic, manipulator and also the type to experiment on people.

He is the type of yandere to isolate and drugged them if they were being a bad little grunt.

You met him by getting hired to be a medic for the main 3, since he had enough of them getting killed or injured.

But you being unaware of his obsession, makes this worse for yourself but better for himself. And you being shy is kinda cute to him, even if you lost a limb or something you still look cute to him.

If you were in a relationship with him... idk probably manipulate you alot...but anyway

your pretty shy right, Yeah no when you are around him, you get extremely shy/nervous because not only he looks intimidating but this dude tries to have a conversation with you, like out of thin nowhere...

He hardly talks to you so if he ends up speaking prepare your legs to get wobble like jelly because this man just pops out like jumpscare (joke: "I love a kind a women that would actually just kill me" "HUH!?")

But of course he's a yandere so he's going go isolate you in his lab or your room, but would never let you go to his room or outside of S.Q, except for missions.

He won't let you talk to your friends by making you work more in the lab or send you on dangerous missions just to make you stay with him longer, and you only thought he needed help when he doesn't actually need help... ok maybe but not really.

when you try to patch hank or the others, he would join In to "help" you while glaring at hank or the others, and hank seems to know 2bdamned obsessions over you but you don't know that..

Sometimes he would drug you for being bad or failing a mission by faking saying it's medicine for your pain or for your injuries.

Remember when I said he would experiment on people, I wasn't lying he would do it, especially on you but not too much, he would drug you and take you to his private lab for no one can watch him do it... it's only you and him...

But when you do find out 2bdamned gives up and shows is true side as he hreatens you by using drugs or some fuck up shit, but only if you try anything funny...

Sometimes would purposely remove your stitches and let you bleed out until your close to passing out or death...

2bdamned will manipulate your friends to turn against you, just to make you trust him instead of those your so called friends

So he treats you like a lover until you become aware and rebellious

But he won't lie he loves a kinda women/guy that Would actually just kill him

"You can only trust me... my dear... only....me"

DEIMOS

Oh boy this man is hard to tell if he's obsessed because his yandere is the same only he kinda clingy when things don't go his way

He is the type of yandere who is delusional but also steals small things from you and make a shrine(jebus lord what the fu-)

Now if you were in a relationship with him, you wouldn't even notice him being a yandere or anything until you spot a shrine("deimos what is that in your room..." "your smoothie")

Deimos is good at hiding things(kinda) from everyone including from 2bdamned... but 2bdamned will finds out like a stalker he is.

When 2bdamned hired you, deimos was the first one to talk to you and when you stuttered or looked nervous, he immediately thought he met an angel as you get flustered and nervous.

Everytime you Two go on a mission he would make small flirts and compliments as you get flustered like a red tomato.

But deep down those compliments and flirts is a demonic pyro-maniac ready to burn your love ones to ashes...

This dude already knows your unaware and he thinks your shyness and you being really unaware about this, is really cute and innocent...

This guy omg is the one who will never leave you alone, but hey atleast he doesn't kill your friends...until they catch him In the act...

Deimos knows how to manipulate your friends, he's 2bdamned 2.0 but little stupid...

When your talking to your friends, deimos would glare at them, but wouldn't go further than that, unless you leave them...

Deimos, would try to brush off Sanford, since Sanford knows Deimos more than anyone and he is aware of the obsession going on...

Honestly Sanford will feel bad for you and can't stop this situation anymore... your on your own buddy

Now remember buddy. Deimos is a pyro-maniac, so he also has punishments in his sleeves...

However you become aware when you find him killing your friends and boy oh boy you better be faster than him because he's a menace now...

If this grunt ever managed to catch you, your fucked(no not like that) I meant your gonna get punished,this dude will burn your skin, he even will make a burn mark on your skin to show you been very naughty grunt....

Now if you keep being naughty, deimos will kill one of your friends as punishment and you if keep going he might just kill ever friend you have...

He hates when you act rebellious but he does like you to cower in fear, it reminds him of your shyness

He constantly threatens to kills, choke, you and more...

If there one thing both 2bdamned and deimos have in common is definitely isolating you in a room...

"C'mon firefly is not that hard....your mine and im yours.... forever"

SANFORD

Oh lord.... now Sanford is a torturer and sadistic...I think... but lord have mercy on you because you ain't escaping honey...

He's the type of yandere to torturer and chop your leg off but hey... doc can't have that so consider yourself lucky...

If you were in a relationship with him, Sanford would've been nice to you but rude to ti others except for deimos... he's cool...

When you got hired by 2bdamned himself, Sanford was the second to speak as he thought your nervous and Suttering words was funny and adorable...

When you go on missions with him, he mostly either show off, and be loud as always but also... watching you

You only assume that he was just protecting you since you were the support of the team...

Now Sanford isn't a stalker but he would stalk you when you go out somewhere he doesn't know...

If you have friends Sanford will watch and if they get too close to you, Sanford will join in while glaring at them when your not looking..

Now even Sanford can make mistakes like one time he tried to enter your room just to see you and you woke up

Lucky for him, he knew how to lie and you were convinced... ("Sanford why are you in my room..." "I had a nightmare..." "oh")

Now Sanford is like a of one those slashers killers like he kills your friends one by one in the most gruesome way and you won't even know it until Sanford said something really creepy

This is probably how you get aware of his obsession...

Now deimos will notice and try to tell Sanford what he's doing Is creepy and very uncool but Sanford will try to reassure him or brush it off...

Deimos will actually help you but Sanford will catch on and will try different methods for deimos won't be a problem...(he doesn't want to hurt deimos)

Now Sanford may be dumb but he's NOT stupid... this grunt has his own ways to punish and capture you...

If you try to escape prepare to have a broken leg for a damn week that will feel like a month... and punishments are the most freakiest thing ever... ok not that freeky but its fucked up....

Sometimes will bring one of your friends, alive and torture them infront of you as you either cry, beg, or try to stop him... but it doesn't matter because he won't listen...

Don't even try to manipulate him, it won't work....

All this wouldn't have happened,if you just stayed unaware forever....

"My dear don't be scared...just let me love you... and I'll be....nice..."

HANK

Hey yeah you...come over here...yeah a little closer... haha now now get a little closer....yeah right there....

*proceeds to bitch slap you* how the FUCK!!! ARE YOU UNAWARE OF THIS!!!

This dude doesn't even hide it, so how are you unaware of this situation your in...

Ok hank is possessive and obsessive towards you and if you were in a relationship with this dude prepare to no longer see your friends or your boss because he going yo send them to the other place...

He will think your either so innocent or just fucking stupid, hank is the type to stalk and straight up enters your room and watch you sleep, just like Sanford only he straight up just stands there...

When you got hired by 2bdamned like the others, hank was the first one to leave the room because well, he doesn't like to tolerate a weaklings(ouch)

But after some time he begins to like your shyness, you remind him a small scared kitten...

so just like 2bdamned, Hank also makes you extremely shy, not only because he talks out of nowhere, he always behind you or straight up in a place where you won't even think he'll be in...

For example:

You: *drops something on the floor*

You: *Goes to reach it*

*a hand grabs you*

You: *Screams*

Hank: I can't get up...

You: DANG IT GRANDPA/HANK!!!

So yeah that motherfucker could be anywhere. Yet you still unaware of this, God your either dense as fuck or even more stupid...

Now at this point everyone knows hank obsession over you, Sanford will most likely to take you on his missions on purpose, same for deimos only he drags you to other section, that hank isn't allowed to enter...

Now 2bdamned doesn't care but would make sure hank doesn't plan on anything to harm or do something to you...after all your one his workers

But how do you find out he's obsessed with you, simple... Project Nexus...

When Sanford and deimos try to reason with hank, he of course doesn't care. But when you try to reason with him, he still didn't care but will show his full obsession over you as you cringed and felt disturbed...

Now we know how this ends, but if hank won he would had let you live but if you try to stop him futher, say bye bye to your legs honey...

But since Sanford and deimos won, you try to distance yourself away from hank but my man is going to make you suffer

Because now that you know, hank would ultimately make sure your his now and only his... your shy attitude is now a cowardly attitude....

Hank will choke you nearly to death as he gives you dead threats as he holds you against the wall...

Oh no trying to call your friend's for help yeah... think again because they will leave you to die, oh honey you thought they would help you against a wanted man? Aha your really funny buddy

Now torture isn't his style vur if he needs you to obey he won't hesitate, my man while Stab, cut even nearly kill you but of course doc comes in like "goddammit hank" and you get saved hurray...

OH wait... he works for doc...FUUUC-

You wished you stayed unaware but also wished you haven't been born....

"You're Mine and mine only... so quit being a fucking bitch and..."love" me"

Sorry for taking so long I'm still doing requests but I going to be a slower than a turtle, also I tried by best here so I hope you like if you don't then sorry for disappointing you....any way I hope you have a good day/night

[randombuddys]

This happened when I was playing Roblox game and there was madness combat cosplayer.

The three of them were roleplaying and one of them noticed me and said this :

[deimosed]

— 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 ? 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊, 𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 !!

general nsfw headcannons ft. hank . sanford . deimos . doc . phobos .

warnings ; biting (hanks part) , other then that it’s not that bad

authors note ; LOL IMAGINE BEING GONE FOR LIKE 4 WHOLE MONTHS!! ikik im sorry, kinda loss motivation, but tryna get back into it! hope you enjoy <3

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓 !! 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈 !!

𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 is both a sadist and a masochist. you can not tell me this man wouldn’t use his metal jaw at all while you two are goin’ at it, trust me when i say he’s gonna put it to good use.

he gets so heated when he sees his bite marks on you. he wants to show all the others just who you belong too, so expect to be marked everywhere. everywhere. he’s very territorial when it comes to his stuff, and you’re going to be included.

also LOVESS being marked on himself. he wants you to bite him until he bleeds, and he won’t take anything less. he’ll literally cum his pants immediately when you do, he also likes to show who he belongs too.

this is unpopular, but I just feel like hank would love to be bottomed out. you on top of him bouncing on his hard cock is a sight for sore eyes for him, because he knows full well he could take control if he really wanted to. he could quite literally pick you up and flip you over in seconds, but you have him wrapped around your finger so much that he lays there and enjoys himself. another note, he’s known to be quite selfish, so it makes since for him to lay there in lust while you do all the moving.

but don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean he’s in it for himself either. hank absolutely adores to see your face in euphoria. when your eyes roll at the back on your head as he fucks into you makes it intoxicating for himself as well. he’s so determined to have you yell out his name, and rivals at the fact that he’s the one making you feel good. it gets him going so much, the fact that you come to him to fuck you raw and no one else, because no one can do it like he can.

speaking of feeling good, this big guy has so much stamina that you both will be goin at it for HOURS. he’ll stop when you stop ofc, but man.. if you refuse so tap out you are GONE by the time he’s finished with you. hank has so much pent up aggression that the only way he can let it out is by killing (ofc) and fucking. when he’s so built up in lust, that’s all he can think about when he sees you. fuck. fuck. fuck.

WEAR HIS STUFF. this will drive him absolutely wild. hank is a very big dude, so seeing you in his jacket that very clearly to big for you does…something for him. not only that, but it transfers his scent onto you, which he adores. swear if he sees you in one of his spare shirts, you will not escape his grasp for a while. loves to fuck you while you wear his clothes, it honestly might be one of his main kinks.

loves to manhandle you, so expect to be tossed around in a lot of places. he won’t be too rough to the point where it’ll hurt you, but just know the both of you won’t stay in the same spot or the same position for long. does not care if you make a ruckus because of this, either. in fact, he wants others to hear what y’all are up to, so that they know not to mess with what’s his <3

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐃 is a bit more tame out of the group, but don’t let that fool you. he can be an absolute freak if you so wish.

he has such a size kink. man comes in a huge package, so seeing you underneath him as he can quite literally just hold you down with one hand has him feel things he’s never had before. loves the fact he can just bound both your hands with his big one.

speaking of size, san-man loves to see just how well you can take him in, despite you being so small. he praises you and tells you that you do such a good job for him, and seeing the bulge in your tummy as he pushes in all the way has him seeing literal stars. cannot fathom how amazing you look.

this guy lives to serve, lemme tell you. we already know that sanford is a very determined man, so when he has his mind dead set on something, best believe he will get it accomplished. that includes marking you cum as many times as he can! he loves seeing your face and hearing the noises you make.

adores giving you head.. literally could stay down there all day and night if he could. he gets so drunk off the way you taste, and get even harder when you finish in his mouth. he just wants to taste you over and over and over again.

PLEASE suck and play with his chest. dude is big and buff, so he has a lot of body to love and share. he gets so flustered and riled up when you do, it’s one of his sensitive spots. when you lick and squeeze his pecks, he always has to stop you because before long, he could finish right then.

also, if you want to turn sanford on? be soft to him. seriously, seeing you all sweet for him drives him WILD. he’s so vanilla, and he kind of takes pride in that. he doesn’t just want to have sex, he wants to make love. so make sure you kiss him, and whisper to him that he’s doing you so good. hold him tight and close. he will lose his damn mind.

switches up so easily, it’s humorous. we all know sanford to be quite loud and boisterous; always feeling the need to announce himself. be it friend or foe, you know when he’s in the room by the sheer boom his voice develops when he speaks. don’t let such an action fool you, however. when you both are alone, you can tell sanford is feeling lustful by his tone. he gets quiet and, funny enough, a bit shy. also not that loud in bed because of this, but you don’t mind. in fact, it’s actually quite cute how you can make such a loud man go quiet at the sight of you. <3

𝐃𝐄𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐒 is a whore. plain and simple. doesn’t give a shit about it either, everyone likes what they like, right? he may be a cocky and flirtatious dude, but once you get him in the sheets? it’s all fair game from there. that person that was teasing you constantly in front of your co-workers is completely separate once you tend to his needs and wants.

firstly, he his the exact opposite from sanford when it comes too vocals. when he’s out and about, his voice is so raspy and low, which of course comes from all the smoking he does. even when he shouts while he’s on the field, it’ll take once or twice before deimos is heard. but once you get him in bed? that’s a whole nother story.

this guy is so damn loud. to the point where it’s actually a bit concerning. you sometimes have to even cover his mouth or shove your fingers down his throat to get him at least a little quieter, because just telling him is not gonna do it. but hey! it’s not like he minds… perhaps he even gets loud on purpose because of this ;)

just about anything can turn this guy on. does not matter where you are, what time of day it is, he will make sure you KNOW when he wants to get down and dirty. ofc he’s not gonna force you if you ain’t up to it, but if and when you are, best believe he is dragging you to the nearest (semi) secluded place so y’all can take care of business.

speaking of semi secluded places, because of this sluts sex drive, he ADORES quickies. like i said, the bare minimum of what you do can have him hard as a rock in seconds. it’s also the thrill that gets him going, too. the meer fact that someone can walk in as deimos is pounding into you (or the other way around) is both nerve racking and exciting to him. he finds pleasure in someone knowing just how y’all fuck, and that it’s only meant for the two of you. they want of piece of you? well too bad! he has you all to himself.

mutual masturbation is his main kink.. deimos is aware that he has a nice body, and is very aware that you like it. he likes that he can turn you on just as much as you do him. he especially likes the way you ogle at him as he sits in front of you, pants down to his knees and his shirt lifted up, pumping his dick with his hand right in front of you. he likes feeling wanted, but loves knowing what he does to you. he also loves seeing your body too! sit across from him and let him watch as you go at yourself too, he’ll lose his mind.

deimos LOVESSSS to be manhandled. when he does bottom, he wants you to be rough. choke him, edge him, move him around like a rag doll, etc. the sheer amount of times he’s cum in his pants back to back is wild, lemme tell you.

speaking of cum, he cums a lot. so much. he can’t help it, honestly, and he’ll do it just about anywhere. inside you, on you, on himself, he likes em all. deimos is also a somewhat shellfish person in my opinion. i mean, he’s been through so much, you can’t blame him for wanting to feel good, right? you make him feel so good, he just can’t help himself when he cums for the 3rd time in the last 20 minutes. but oh, don’t worry! he’ll make sure he returns the favor

[nowheregoat]

cuddle time with sanford?

big man big cuddles 👍

[idyat]

Sanford x Bartender reader

The room spinning around you

Summary: He was a regular at your bar. Naturally, you became good "friends".

WARNINGS: Alcohol, mentions of corpses and smoking

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It was yet another ordinary night at the bar. Clients rushing in after a good day of murder and destruction. It seems like alcohol is one of the few things nevadeans wanted to leave intact. You couldn't blame them, it was one way to forget about one's shitty life, despite destroying their body in the process.

But there's no time to dwell on thoughts! This is the busy hours! So get to work!

And you did. Serving up all the toxic beverages needed until the already strong smell of booze and cigarettes was just straight up harassing the nostrils of anyone nearby.

But even with the huge charge of work on your shoulders, your mind still found the ability to focus on when a particular client was going to cross the doors of your shop. One you've found yourself chatting with almost everytime he came, which was quite a lot since he was a common customer of yours.

You heard the bars doors open.

There he was. The arsonist himself.

"Hey Sanford, getting the usual tonight?"

"Yep!"

You quickly passed him his glass. He often arrived a bit late, but that wasn't a problem, as it meant you had less customers on your throat and therefore more time for talking.

"Thanks for the drink! Here, that's extra for another." He said while passing you some cash, at which you grinned and leaned over to whisper.

"Is this money yours?"

"Can't be the corpse I took it from's!"

You laughed "Yup, guess that makes sense!"

The rest of the night was like this. You serving glasses of cheap booze to Sanford while laughing and talking about whatever was going on in this shitty state (you were serving your other clients of course).

But the thing is, when someone binge-drinks alcohol no one bothered to check for ethanol levels, they most likely get very drunk or drop dead right there. Thankfully, the mass-murderer in front of you could survive being stabbed like 127 times, so after everyone else left, it was just you and the incoherent babblings of this man in the bar.

"You should-*hic!* You should have seen their face!" Sanford's loud laughter echoed through the room as he told you about yet another dumb ennemy's death. "His aim was worse than Hank's...caba...capatylipy at being a good person!" This was at least the fourth time he said the same thing about that agent's aim and failed to correctly say "capability", but it wasn't a problem.

"They really got that stormtrooper aim huh?"

"*hic!* Hehe yeah!"

There was an akward silence between you yoo before the drunkard rested his head on his hand (he missed, by the way) and spoke up.

"Y'know...You're really nice..." It was probably the alcohol, but it felt like his face got redder.

You smiled with a hum "Thank you, I return the compliment."

"Like...*hic!*The whole rooms blurry and spinny right now but I can still see your prettyness aalll fiiine..!"

...Not taking any risks. He is absolutely wasted after all. "You're drunk Sanford."

Even if you were a rather calm person, you definitely couldn't stop your heart from skipping a beat when he put his hand on yours, resting on the counter. Looking up at his eyes, they looked serious; he wasn't smiling anymore.

"Then ask me when I'm not, I'll tell you I love you the exact same way."

And then he passed out.

...

Well damn. How were you supposed to react to this. Sure, you might secretly have had a small thing for Sanford for a while now. But did you expect him to reciprocate? No, absolutely not. It was unrealistic to think this "heartless monster" could feel any affection at all, let alone romantic. And yet here you were, contemplating your existence and feelings in front of a dead asleep majorly wanted criminal.

After what seemed like an eternity, you finally picked up the phone peeking out his pocket to call one of his friends to pick him up.

...What? It's not like you were going to look at anything else on there! How else were you supposed to bring him home? It's not like you could just keep him here for the night!

Internal monologuing aside, you sent a text to his best friend Deimos explaining Sanford was asleep and all that stuff. You knew Deimos decently well, Sanford very often brings him to the bar. You knew you could trust this man with bringing his best friend home. Not sure about not drawing on his face while he's asleep.

Welp, now all you had to do is wait. Wait right next to the sleeping man who drunkenly said he loved you...

...Probably won't remember it either...

......They often say you admit how you truly feel when you're drunk, right..?

.........It'll just be one...One little kiss to his cheek he will not know anything about as you whisper your words.

"I love you too Sanford."

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Hooolyy shit I procrastinated on this story for so long. But here it is, Sanford finally gets laid.

[goosedoes-fics]

Madness Headcanons

Madcom x Reader

Content Warnings: I talk about tits a lot sorry. Also mentions of organ failure and transfem Tricky

Notes: Trying to get back into the writing groove. Sorry if this is shit

HANK J WIMBLETON

If you didn't know ASL before meeting them, they would communicate primarily with hand and head movements. He's too cool to use a notepad

Not a big fan of PDA, but in private he's quite affectionate and cuddly. theyre just a big ass guard dog cmon

Hank Motherfucker Wimbleton what are you doing here????? waiting for them to play gangnam styl.

DEIMOS

Transgenda

I like to imagine Dedmos's rock face works similarly to Hank's metal jaw. It's just a rock jaw. Rock lobster.

He is an ASSHOLE (affectionate)

The kind of person to like. Punch your shoulder when they laugh

Their ideal first date is stealing the declaration of independence

If you don't make him, he will go days without showering he is SO smelly anfd SO stinky. He has GREASY ASS HAIR i just know it

SANFORD

If Hank is a guard dog he's one of those goofy dogs that look like bear cubs

VERY big fan of PDA he will smooch you anywhere. everywhere. any time any place any day

He takes missions more seriously than Deimos but outside of missions he is just a big fat goofball

I'm going to place my hands directly on his man tits. anyways where was I

He lost his nipples in The War

I'm kidding. He lost them during top surgery.

At this point i'm aiming the transgenderification beam at all of them. nobody is safe. BE TRANSGENDER

DOC

Sometimes he wears his hair down and it's like a mullet w/ shaved sides

Out of all of them he's the most adverse to PDA but! In private he is very sweet. very silly

Hey are you okay with being tested on? Yeah? Cool will you drink this organ failure potion I brewed

Plays the piano sometimes! He might serenade you if you ask nicely

TRICKY

BE TRANSGENDER. (shoots her with my transfem beam)

Yeah so he/she bigender Tricky is real. Krinkels told me himself

He is like a big weird dog as well. He might lick your face (don't let him zed spit is slightly acidic)

Probably likes PDA the most. She will make out with you very grossly and sloppily in the middle of McDonalds

Very soft very fluffy. Which is surprising considering how many times he's died

His tail is somewhat prehensile, he could dangle from a tree branch if he tried hard enough

CHURCH AND JORGE

They are very good at sharing!

Sorry not sorry yandere enjoyers but they would NOT kill someone for looking at you they would be like haha yeah everyone should look at our awesome fucking partner theyre so cool and hot

Sometimes they forget how big they are compared to you so they might try to like flop over on you. Pigpile on the small one

Very prone to roughhousing and play fighting but they'll be gentle if you ask

BEEFY BOYS 😍

[chestertophat]

The main 4 + tricky and auditor with a cuddly acquaintance/friend/close friend/S/O

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Hank

Just a friend or acquaintance? Hah! NO.

Like I've said before, this man is as cuddly as a cactus. But there is a rare chance that when he's in a good mood, he gives kinda good hugs. Just don't tell anyone, because if you do he will probably never trust you with a secret again. Around others, pats on the head or back are pretty common. About the same goes for very close friends.

About the same also goes for his S/O with how often he cuddles, but when he cuddles with you it's a lot more loving in his own way, and it has more of a warm feeling to it. But if you tell anyone prepare to lose your cuddle privileges till whenever hank feels you've been punished enough. Please just don't tell anyone, it hurts him as much as it hurts you. (If not more)

Deimos

So when it comes to being just an acquaintance, hugs are ok but not very welcomed. he'd much rather you give him a pat on the back or a side hug, not a full on bear hug.

A friend on the other hand, bear hugs are very much welcomed! He'll hug his closer friends so hard that if you didn't know any better you'd think he's trying to smother them! And with his closest friends he'll jokingly punch them in the gut before he bearhugs them.

He loves to cuddle, and when he cuddles with his S/O he likes to be the little spoon, he just likes the feeling.

Sanford

With Sanford, hugs are welcomed from anyone as long as you're not an enemy. Though for acquaintances, side hugs are what you'd get the most, and tight hugs are for whenever you need comfort.

Good friends get all the hugs they want they don't need to ask! But cuddles are not something I see him wanting to do with a friend. Unless he sees you as a sibling.

Sanford is the type of guy who would just want to spoil his S/O in every way he can, especially with affection. When he cuddles you he likes being the big spoon.

Doc/2bdamned

He's not the type of person to give an acquaintance a hug, or a friend.

Close friends on the other hand get them on special occasions, and if he's in a good mood. But actual cuddling under any circumstances is not happening, that's reserved for his S/O only.

Doc doesn't care if he's a big spoon or a little spoon, he just likes being close to you, and he likes the peacefulness of it all. Really, he worries so much and he's under a lot of stress so often, he needs that peace every now and then.

Tricky

He'd rather not hug an acquaintance he's known for 3 days, but he still enjoys high-fiving you!:D (and beating the shit out of you in a 'play' fight, he couldn't care less if anyone else does the same)(you better be careful he can and will accidentally kill you if you don't be careful)

Friends he can hold himself back a bit more for, and you will get things like very shaky high-fives and side hugs. You will get to know Tricky outside of fights. He'd still beat you to a pulp but he won't let anyone else have that privilege. (AKA slaughtering people that had anything to do with it)

Being his best friend is mostly the same as being his friend, but he'd seek you out to tell you about his latest idea for a machine or randomly show up to hang out. He is incredibly lonely.

As his S/O, you wouldn't get beat to a pulp. He tries to hug you every chance he gets and talks to you about anything he has on his mind, good or bad. Cuddles are very much welcomed.

Auditor

This guy wouldn't even side hug a friend, so basically a cuddly acquaintance has a 6 foot rule put on them. It's not like he doesn't care, he does but only a little. He just doesn't appreciate physical affection from people he wouldn't trust his life with.

For close friends he accepts hugs if they don't do it too often. If they hug him every 5 minutes he will put the 5 foot rule on them. (Respect the 5 foot rule-)

As his S/O you get permission to hug him whenever you want, but only side hugs in front of other people. He enjoys you laying on him and just lazing around in your all's free time. he also likes to nuzzle your chest. He needs peace like Doc.

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This took me forever, I lost motivation for like 3 months and gained it back after summer break began 😅