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0613magazine · 2 years

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221010 Proof Collector's Edition

SUGA

Between the past, present, and future, which one do you think of as most important?

Before, I thought that the future was the most important thing but now I think it’s the present. Past is something that has already passed, and you can’t do anything about it. When I lived my life only looking forward to the future, I had many worries. These days I am living with a thought, ‘let’s focus/commit to the present and do what I can do right now’.

The word “past” what does it mean to you?

It’s something that has already passed. I don’t give much meaning to things that have already passed. Out of many emotions that I have about the past, one is regret. I honestly have a lot of regrets about ‘ why did I do that before.’ Despite that I had tried my best and it was the best choice at that time. That is why I don’t like the word “past” much.

What is your first-ever memory?

It was when I was about 3 or 4, I was in a danger because I fell into the ocean. I still remember that. I was on a swimming tube that had Mickey Mouse drawing on it when I fell into the ocean. I thought I was in the water for quite a long time but my parents said it was for just a brief moment. Ah, a picture from that day has been released before. The picture of me that I took where I was laying on top of the swimming tube with sunglasses on. It was the day the picture was taken. Anyways, memories about the past differ for every person. So I don’t tend to linger on the past.

Is there something you miss from life when you were young?

Recently I went to Daegu where I visited studios that I worked at when I first started working when I was around 17 or 18. I also went around Namsan Dong alley, which I went around a lot back in the day. I remembered a lot of things like the atmosphere of the alley from that time. When I went, the stores have changed but the vibe did not change at all. That day I ate makchang with a glass of soju which I wanted to have with my parents. While having some conversations about what I do since my parents don’t know well about what I do. It also has been a long time since I went down.

What is your first meaningful place/space?

The first studio I received when I went up to Seoul. It was a point in time when the company was discovering composers. So I also received a studio as a composer. It was the first studio that was soundproof. When I was in Daegu, I did have a studio but I didn’t have money. So when I was working alone, I couldn’t work in a studio like that. It was cool/ fascinating. At that time, I spent my days working with the company’s older brothers and sisters.

Is there something that was memorable from back then?

For a trainee, I had an interesting life. Excluding 2 dance lessons each week, it was all free time. I just needed to prepare for a monthly evaluation. So even that day I was working in my studio when suddenly Bang PD came and opened the door. Up until then, I had never met him because I didn’t have a chance to. He said, ‘So you are Yoongi.” So I said ‘Yes’ The person who came along with Bang PD was Shin Seung-hun sunbae-nim. He (Bang PD) asked me to show him what I made and I happened to have one that I was arranging with the beats I made. So I let him hear that one. Then he said ‘Ok, work hard’ and left. For me, that was a very fascinating event. It was the first time I met Bang PD and I got to see Shin Seung-hun sunbae also.

When was the “Moment of Proof”?

When I was young, I thought it was important to prove. That it’s important to show your talent. Anyways, there were a lot of moments to prove. Either, when I am showing my work as Agust D or, especially when I am working on external projects, I think, ‘If I wasn’t SUGA of BTS, would these people really choose me?’ So I feel that I have to be successful commercially no matter what. Since I have to show the worth that the client wants. When it’s like that, I feel burdened. As for BTS, I think every moment, we have shown proof. When something didn’t go well, ‘since it didn’t do well now it’s time to prove’ When it does well, ‘Since we did well and came all this way, now we got to prove.’ It’s been like that until now. I think because we did that it made us who we are now.

In your mind, how old do you put yourself as?

I think I’m still 24, 25. It’s that there hasn’t been much change since then and also because I’ve been living my days busy.

While living as BTS, do you think there was a change that made Min Yoongi, as an individual, more clear or faded?

Before I tried to separate Min Yoongi, an individual, from SUGA. I thought that I had to do that to live a balanced life. Now I have accepted that it’s not separable. It synced. However, I try to separate the areas of work and the stories I want to tell. Putting Min Yoongi in the middle and ‘SUGA’, ‘Agust D’, ‘Prod. SUGA of BTS’ around it.

How similar is your usual self in real life compared to the BTS member (you are) shown to the world?

Usually celebrities try to separate their appearance they show from their usual self. Especially in the beginning, they do that more. They try to make a better side that they show to the world. But as you continue to be active, it’s hard to separate it. It merges in the end. If a person seems nice on TV, that person is nice. In my standard, it’s impossible to live acting like someone for 10 years. Everyone has different colors and the way the colors are accepted is different too. They may be a bad person to someone but a nice person to another. So, if my appearance and my personality is not good to someone, to them, I am not a very good person. If many people like someone, that person is a good person to many people. My appearance on TV, my appearance on the stage, and my appearance behind the stage are not different at all. I think I am just exactly how I am.

What is “myself as it is” like?

I am not too sure yet. It changes a lot depending on the situation and the mood. At least I think I’m a person who tries not to act. Some may say that I’m being honest but I’m not sure if I can say that I am an honest person. Humans are complicated beings. You can’t say one is a certain type of person based on one thing. I think all of it is me. Serious when I need to be, funny when I need to be when I need to be messed up I get messed up, and when I need to act cool I act cool. There are many different kinds of me inside so I show them depending on the situation.

Is the current ‘Me’ and the past ‘Me’ different?

It’s different. In the past, I had a lot of negative thoughts like concerns, worries, and regrets. Up until recently, I had a lot of those thoughts but now I let down a lot of it. Going through the pandemic, I thought a lot about what I like, how I want to live, and how I want to survive. At first, I resented the pandemic but if we didn’t have those times, who we are now, may not have existed. Everyone has their limits but we have run soo much. Since we were living a life where we were just about to reach the limit every time, we didn’t know that we were tired and we didn’t know what we wanted to do. We were able to organize a lot of those thoughts.

If there is something you were influenced by from the ‘Past’, what is it?

I tend to remain calm and not get easily shaken up emotionally, and I think this is influenced by Daegu, North Gyeongsang Province, where I was born and raised. When I was young I grew up getting taught by my father that I have to live holding my emotions. Even if something good happens, I shouldn’t show happiness, shouldn’t be easily angered, and shouldn’t cry. I lived controlling my emotions and spending. So I didn’t do anything special much.

What are things that have changed and things that haven’t changed as time passed?

There isn’t anything that hasn’t changed. Everything changed. I often say ‘original intention/resolution’ but it’s not a word that I really like. If you see it in a way I think it’s a word that they made to easily manage people by saying ‘Think about the days when you were nothing’ How can you live the same way when the situations have changed. What is important is how you are changing. I don’t think there is a problem with the fact that you have changed.

Do you have a belief that you uphold firmly?

I think before, I did. But the thing with beliefs is that when someone has a firm belief, they tend to suffer when they get a little deviated from that belief. I think I did too. So, I began to think let’s live flexibly. Now I don’t have a belief. If I had to say one I guess ‘live in the present’, and ‘do what you can do right now’ that’s about it.

Is there a way you can get along well with ‘my weakness’?

You just have to admit that the weaknesses are also me. Before, when I heard something bad I would say ‘I’m not like that. No, I’m not’. Now I think ‘I’m a person who could get hated, but I am not living to satisfy that person. So let’s not give much attention to it’ admitting it and carry my lackings.

Looking back, what was the darkest moment for you?

Before debut, when I was 20 years old. The company situation got so bad the team that was preparing was about to get to a so-called disbandment process. But I had to be a trainee. I came up from Daegu so I had very little monthly living expenses. It was money that wasn’t even enough to get a half basement floor room. That’s when I started working. Did part-time deliveries, gave lessons, and started to earn money like that, that is when I got into a motorcycle accident. And 10 years from that point I had to even get shoulder surgery. I felt so dark at that time. I locked myself in my room and didn’t even wash for two weeks. I was scared that I couldn’t even go out of the house. I just kept thinking, ‘I couldn’t go to college. Now in this situation where I got into an accident and my shoulder is like this, what will happen to my life?’ I felt bad as all the things I’d done until now were going to be a waste. Back then there weren’t even programs like <Show Me the Money>. I was devastated. The company asked what happened to my shoulder and I told them that I rolled down the stairs because I was worried that if I told them that I got into an accident while doing part-time delivery I would get cut off. Then the company gave me tuition for college and waited for me. There were several more times like that. I still feel at a loss when I think of that time.

If you were to write a letter to yourself in the past, what would you want to write?

“Do not fear, do not worry.” I want to write that I shouldn’t be anxious and think too much.

What is something you think you could have done better in the past?

In the past, there were things that I had a lot of points of myself that I could have done better but now I don’t really have one. Making some mistakes, having some failures, all those moments gather up to make me who I am now. If I am disappointed right now, it feels like too much greed.

During the day, what time do you think it’s your time for yourself?

There were times when I say it was early dawn. I usually worked on my songs during that time. Now I don’t think that. I’m trying my best to live a ‘routined life’ So my time is when I wake up in the morning. In the past, I just continued to sleep being tired. I usually thought ‘today I don’t want to do anything.’ and had no expectations toward the day. These days I wake up between 9 and 10 am, open the window the moment I open my eyes to circulate the air, and organize the surroundings. So I look forward to starting the day. Before, I think it was because I had such a busy life. Now I’m relaxed a bit.

What do you like to be called the most?

I don’t tend to care much. In our company, we call people by putting ‘-nim’ on the end of their names. I feel really comfortable with that. So and so -nim or -ssi. Using honorifics like that is comfortable. On the other hand, even if those who are younger than me talk to me informally I don’t feel bad at all. I can be called whatever. I can be called Yoongi, SUGA, hyung, or dongsaeng. Whatever is ok.

If there is something in life that is an indispensable existence, what would it be?

I learned as I went through the pandemic, that I would be really bored without the members. I believe it’s hard to maintain a family-like relationship while doing group activities. There is no reason to have a close relationship just because you are colleagues. We, of course, fought, quarreled, and did all sorts of things. However, thankfully good people gathered, time passed and it became a relationship that was beyond family. We know what each is thinking just from looking at each other’s eyes. I don’t have many friends. For me, the members are my colleagues and friends for a lifetime.

Is there something you have been constantly telling yourself recently?

I like thinking. Reading a book while using my imagination is more interesting than watching TV. The problem was that I always asked myself questions and tried to find answers on my own. Tiring myself. I believe there are times when there is a need to fill the head with thoughts and times when you need to empty them, right now I think it’s a point in time where I need to empty so I don’t say anything particular or throw questions at me. Doing what I can do right now is what I mainly think about.

How fast in km do you think you are going right now?

About 30 km? It’s the speed that I am going at. But my actual speed vs the speed I feel is different. Before, while going 120km it only felt like 30 km. ‘Other teams would be able to get no.1 within a few months, why aren’t we able to’, I was nervous and impatient. I thought we were going very slow, but those concerns if I think about it now were all meaningless. I now know that the most important thing is ‘not how fast you are going but where you are going.’

If there is something you are focusing on these days, what would you say it is?

I am doing quite a lot of external work. Various projects are running at the same time so it’s a bit chaotic for me. I don’t really have anything that I am focusing on other than working on music.

Is there a thought you always think about before going to sleep everyday?

I try not to think. If I think of one thing, another one is followed one after the other. And like that when it’s about 2 am, I start to regret the work that I accepted thinking why did I say I would do it. “Why did I say I was going to do this? Should I say that I can’t do it? Ah, what should I do? The deadline is just around the corner. When I finish this I’m never going to do any other work.” I think of those thoughts and I end up doing it again the next time. And then I regret it every time repeating the same pattern.

Is there a dream that you do not want to wake up from?

Sometimes I think that this reality might all be just a dream. Makes me think I’m in that kind of dream-like world where I am doing whatever I want to do and listen to only what I want to listen to. I have a lot of moments where I’m that happy. If this is all a dream, I don’t want to wake up.

Not to the world but is there something you want to prove to yourself?

For now, I don’t have one, I wonder if there’s anything left to prove. I think that everything that I am doing is going well. It’s true I need to show better work but personally, results and awards don’t have a big meaning for me. Of course, it would be nice if I received it. (laugh) I like trying new challenges but I don’t want to do things that I can’t do. If I were to try out a different field, I would have something to prove to myself but there’s nothing like that for now.

If you were to look at life as one road, how far do you think you came now?

Life is so long so I don’t think I’ve reached even the half point.

If you were to put yourself as a scent, which scent would it be?

I don’t want any fragrance coming from me. I want to be a simple person who lives a simple life. Not having any scent also can mean that I can accept any scent. In fact, I am living a simple monotonous life. So I think I am fragrance-free.

Do you think you are currently standing in a crossroad of change?

Of course. This is a very important moment. Personally, I turned 30 years old, and our team is thinking about a lot of things. By the time this album is out, a lot of things would have probably changed, and it is a period where changes were needed.

Do you believe there is a predestined fate?

I do not believe in one. You make your own life. There are times when a great fortune might come in an unexpected situation. I believe that even that is all from individual choices gathered and the chance that approaches pretending to be fate.

Are there any characters from a movie or a drama that you would like to resemble?

I don’t particularly have any character that I want to look after but I do have a character that I like. It’s prosecutor Hwang Si-Mok played by actor Cho Seungwoo in the drama <Secret Forest>. I found that character very charming. I don’t like being on the front line myself and in the drama, Hwang Si-Mok is that type of person so I guess that’s why I like him.

If you were able to go to another dimension, do you have any place you would like to go to?

When you watch movies, you see people who would fake their identities and live in Switzerland. I want to try living in Switzerland like that once. Of course, you shouldn’t fake your identity so just as an imagination. It’s not because the life I have is hard at all, I am just curious to know ‘when all the things that were surrounding me are all gone, what would I be doing?’ Just curious to know if there is a parallel universe, how Min Yoongi is living on that side.

If you were to make a documentary about yourself, which song do you want to put on ending credit?

It’s not in this album but of the songs I made as Agust D, a song called ‘People’. I didn’t realize it when I released this song but I learned because people around me talked about it a lot. That this song perfectly represents me. There is a lyric where it said ‘people change like how I have changed, nothing in this world lasts forever, all just passing by happening.’ and I like this lyric. I live thinking that, it’s all just a passing by happening. If I were to put it on the ending credit, I would say this song would be good.

Personally, what is the most meaningful album out of the whole BTS discography?

Both <The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt.1> and <The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt.2> are similarly meaningful. I heard later on but I heard that the overall concept of the album was set as they thought about me. So I was able to have the role to work on both albums’ intros. The memory of having fun working on <The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt.1> so vividly. We started to leap from that point also. I reworked on the intro over 20 times. The last time I did it, I thought, if this doesn’t pass I seriously need to run away. I felt that I really couldn’t do it. For almost one month, I worked on it while I ate and slept in that small studio. So it became an album that I love and hate.

Trivia 轉 : Seesaw

What does this song mean to you?

I like the sketch of this song. So I even had thought about releasing the full version of the sketch on my mixtape.

If there is a behind for this song, what are there?

This song is Slow Rabbit’s arrangement version. I do like the version before the arrangement a little more. (laugh) I like similar flows as this song’s chord flow so it felt like the songs I produce all had a similar vibe so I arranged it so I had a bit of a retro feel.

Which do you think you are closer to, a person who follows their own personal preference or the person who matches with other people’s preference?

I am more comfortable matching with the other person. It doesn’t even have to do with personal preference. I can’t even choose food menus well. There were instances where I was choosing what to eat and it passed 2-3 hours so I didn’t eat. Other than work, I don’t have things that I believe should be done a certain way. So I feel much more comfortable matching others’ preferences. And if this feeling is stronger, that might be love. Since love has many different kinds.

Is there a special method in controlling your emotion?

Not giving meaning to emotions. The moment you give meaning to it, it becomes painful. If something good happens, just regard them as good things and I think the same way for bad things.

If you were to make a song with a similar concept again, what kind of song do you think would come out?

Even if it’s the same concept, if I make it again it will have a completely different interpretation. Since my life has changed. This song came out 4 years ago already, and it came out this way because it was during that time. Now I am more composed and my life has completely changed. I think a more mature version of a song would come out.

BTS Cypher PT.3: KILLER(Feat. Supreme Boi)

What does this song mean to you?

When we perform this song in concerts I get really excited. I remember when we performed this song. If you listen to this song’s lyrics you will see we’re full of anger. It came out in 2014, at that time, we got a lot of hate from outside and beaten all over the place to the point I wondered why people hated us so much to that extent. So I guess we held it against it a little. (laugh)

Do you have words that can motivate you these days?

I felt provoked when someone criticized me but now I don’t get much incitement. I don’t feel much motivation from compliments either. I feel more motivated from words that I say to myself than words I hear from others. When I was young, I was inexperienced so when I wrote songs it did not pass easily. However these days most of the time I receive an ‘Ok’ for all the things I work on, it now becomes a fight of my own. “Is this the best I’ve got? Is this ok? Shouldn’t it be more interesting than this?” I keep telling myself things like that.

In both the song and rap people are able to feel pure and powerful energy. Do you have stories you would like to talk about with this kind of energy right now?

I think this world is too cruel for the young generation. The world has always been cruel to the young generation but I think it’s even more now. I hope the younger generation, including myself, can be more angered. I believe that now, it’s hard to just only have hope. Everyone is living with survival on the line. In an era where the value of labor is diminishing, I believe for the younger generation it could be really painful. If I say this sort of thing it might sound hypocritical, but I always live having thoughts like that.

What kind of message do you want to throw out to the world through music in the future?

I want to talk and make music that is future-oriented. When we first debuted, and we were talking about school, people asked us why we were talking about these. There wasn’t anyone who was talking the same thing as us. However, I think in an era where everyone is tired, lyrics that contain comfort, empathy, or social criticism are necessary. There is a song called “Strange (feat. RM)?’ that I released as Agust D and in there I threw that kind of question. Looking forward I believe that there is a need we have to throw out messages that are needed.

What does the album <Proof> mean to BTS?

I think it would be a branching point. I think a lot of things will change starting from this album. Since we now have quite a bit of experience, I believe now there is another path of our own as BTS. So I think it can be an album where we can anticipate a change.

English translation by: bomharu1230 Photo credit: mahoneysuga

#2022 #bts #suga #proof collector's edition

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