#mamihlapinatapai | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

halfmoth-halfman · 8 months

Text

Mamihlapinatapai

Pairing: Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x F!Reader Word Count: 3.2k Warnings: alcohol mention, fluff, angst, jealousy Prompt: Commitment-to-the-bit to Lovers & "We're not just friends, and you know it." Disclaimer: I do not own modern warfare or any of the modern warfare characters. A/N: so i had this one already lined up, but thought it would be a good fic for @glitterypirateduck’s GazFest 2023 💜

Mamihlapinatapai (n.) - a look that without words is shared by two people who want to initiate something, but neither will start.

The first time they meet you, it’s a happy accident.

When Price calls him into his office, Gaz expects to walk into a debrief with Soap and Ghost. He doesn’t expect to find you sitting at Price’s desk. You’re wearing one of his old basic sweatshirts, one of the many you’ve stolen from him over the years, and laughing with his team like they’re old friends.

He freezes in the door, unsure of what to make of the scene before him. Price and Soap are the most engaged with you, Soap having pulled his chair up so he can sit close enough for your knees to touch as he jokes with you. Ghost stands against the walls, arms crossed against his chest as he watches, shadowed eyes filled with amusement. A box of cookies sits on the desk, already picked through and eaten save for the bottom row.

“There ye are!” Soap cheers as soon as he catches sight of Gaz, waving him over. You turn, beaming at him, but Gaz doesn’t fall for it. He can see the twinkle in your eyes, that little spark of mischief that tells him you’ve done something you shouldn’t have.

“What’re you doing here?” Gaz asks through a toothy smile, walking over to set a hand on your shoulder.

“Your Missus was just telling us about the last time you visited her parents,” Price explains with a smirk, leaned casually back in his chair. Gaz’s attention immediately snaps to you, smile tighter as his hand squeezes your shoulder.

“My Missus?”

“Where ye been hiding her all this time?” Soap laughs. “Could’ve used some more fun around here.”

You blink at Gaz, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you try not to laugh.

“Well,” Gaz starts with a deep, calming breath, “I’d hate to interrupt the fun, but I’d like a minute alone with her, please.”

He’s not really asking, judging by the tight grip he has on you, and you stand from your chair with a polite smile to the rest of the team.

“It was nice to finally meet all of you,” you say, scooping up the box of cookies. “Kyle talks about you all the time at hom–”

“Let’s go,” Gaz urges, arm looping around your shoulders to lead you out of the room. Soap lets out a sharp whistle that has you snickering behind your hand, and Gaz groans in exasperation slamming the door shut a little harder than necessary. He waits until you’re far enough down the hall to pull away from you, staring at you with a look of utter disappointment.

You cut him off just as he opens his mouth, “Don’t even start. You said I could visit today!”

“I told you to call me first,” Gaz scoffs.

“I was already at the gate, and the…man…guard was just standing there glaring at me–”

“So, you told them I was…what? Your husband? And they just let you in?”

“Calm down, that’s not what I said,” you huff, rolling your eyes at him. Gaz crosses his arms, looking entirely unimpressed as if he’s already dreading what you’re about to say next. “I said you were my boyfriend. Your friend, Soap, was nearby and overhead. He’s the one who let me in.”

Gaz scrapes a hand down his face, already exhausted with you. He knows he should’ve expected something like this, especially with you. After over two decades of friendship, he knows you’re not one to follow a plan.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” you plead, giving your best puppy dog eyes. “You said if I came up to the gate, they’d just let me in, but he kept asking all these questions and how I knew you and–”

“So you went with boyfriend?”

“I panicked!”

Gaz knows he should be frustrated with you. He is frustrated, but more at the fact he’ll have to explain your antics to the team after you’ve left. Still…

“I saved you some cookies,” you grin, holding the box up to him with a playfully tempting smile. He looks at you, your teasing grin, and knows he can’t stay mad at you.

“Fine,” he relents with a dramatic huff. “Just don’t cause any more trouble.” He takes the box from your hands, nodding for you to follow him as he turns down the hall.

“No can do, Sergeant. As your best friend, it’s my job to cause trouble.”

Gaz sighs, giving you his best look of feigned annoyance, and trying to pretend his heart doesn’t skip a beat when you call him Sergeant.

The second time they see you, Gaz invites you along to one of their rare nights out.

It takes some convincing from him–you don’t want to impose–but he manages to persuade you with the promise of doing your laundry and cooking dinner the next time he’s over.

The team is happy to see you, raising their glasses as you walk into the small pub and join them at their table.

“Glad to see you again,” Price nods as Gaz pulls out your chair for you.

“We were startin’ to think you didnae like us,” Soap chuckles. “Or maybe Gaz was hidin’ ye from us.”

“She’s been busy,” Gaz answers for you, putting an end to the conversation. He doesn’t sit next to you, instead leaning down to ask if you want anything to drink.

“Just water,” you say, and Gaz nods turning to head to the bar. “Don’t forget with–”

“With two slices of lemon and no ice, I know!” he calls back. The others laugh, even Ghost gives a half-laugh half-snort behind his painted mask.

Gaz watches you from the bar. The team seems excited to talk to you, probably bombarding you with questions that you’ll give vaguely truthful answers to, no doubt feeding into the lie that the two of you are a couple.

It would be better to put an end to it now, not let you get carried away with your little prank as you sometimes tend to do. But his heart stirs when he sees you laugh, and he decides that you’re enjoying yourself, and that’s all that really matters to him.

He waits an extra minute after getting your drinks to let you have your fun, content to watch you talk with his team.

When he returns with your drinks, you’re in the middle of telling an embarrassing story about the first Christmas you spent with Gaz’s family, and he wishes a hole would open up and swallow him. But Soap says something that makes you laugh, a small snort that has your nose scrunching, and Gaz can’t stop the smile that comes.

Price catches his eyes, one eyebrow raised, knowing smirk pulling at his lips. Gaz chooses to ignore the look, handing you your drink as he takes the seat next to you.

“Got yourself a fun one here, Gaz,” Price chuckles. You preen under the compliment, resting your chin against Gaz’s shoulder so you can bat your eyelashes up at him.

Gaz laughs, patting you on the cheek and following it with a quick pinch that has you pulling away with an adorable pout. “Don’t I know it?”

The team doesn’t stop asking about you.

Every time he returns from leave, he’s met with smug looks and questions about how you’re doing. He keeps his answers short, telling them you’re fine and that you say hi. It eases up once the missions start, but once they’re done and it’s time for them to go home for a few days' rest, there’s always some kind of remark about him getting a proper welcome home.

Gaz would think after six months they’d be tired of it. Ghost seems to give him space, content to let Gaz carry his secrets, but Price and Soap have made it their job to make sure they’re updated on Gaz’s “relationship”. At least Price is more subtle about it.

Gaz complains about it whenever he sees you. There’s no actual hurt in his voice, so you listen to him in equal parts teasing and comfort.

Eventually, the subject isn’t as interesting anymore, and the questions calm to a few check-ins asking how you’re doing, and Gaz can’t help the relief when he tells you about it.

Gaz knew he should’ve suspected something when you softly congratulated him on his newfound peace and quiet, quickly changing the subject to what film to pick for movie night. He should’ve suspected even more when, the day he was set to leave, you gifted him with a box of cookies, a wide smile, and specific instructions to not open them until he was able to share with the team.

Soap takes the box the moment he sees it, ready to pick through another box of your delicious cookies. The cackle he lets out when he opens the box startles Gaz, and he can feel the dread growing in his stomach when Soap begins to turn the box to him.

The inside of the lid is covered in little hand-drawn hearts of every color and every size. They surround the words written in red ink across the center in your perfect handwriting.

I love you. Stay safe for me. ;)

Soap pulls one of the cookies, and Gaz realizes they’re all heart-shaped, decorated with sweet words and notes across them.

Gaz has to commend your commitment to the bit, but he is so going to kill you when he gets back.

He’s lucky enough to not be overseas when his birthday rolls around, and the team decides to surprise him with a night out to celebrate.

Soap is the one to invite you, having stolen your number from Gaz’s phone just so he could text you the invitation with an added note to dress up.

Gaz is surprised to see you when you join them, dressed up to Soap’s instructions. It’s not too much for a night out, a nicer outfit and hair more done than usual, but Gaz showers you in compliments as he pulls you in for a hug. He keeps an arm around you as the group heads into the bar.

It’s a long night of fun and perhaps too many drinks, but you enjoy yourself. You get separated from Gaz around midnight, but a handsome man asks you to dance and your attention travels elsewhere. He’s a good dancer, and you revel in the feel of his hands along your body as you dance. You get through three songs with this lovely stranger before you call it quits, weaving your way through the crowd to join Soap at the bar.

“Looked like ye were havin’ fun,” Soap teases, but there’s an edge to his voice, a hardness in his eyes, that gives you pause.

“That’s cause I was?” you say, tilting your head at him.

“Ye make it a habit to dance like that with other men like that?” he asks, nodding toward your former dance partner.

Soap frowns when you start laughing.

“Kyle and I aren’t actually together, Soap,” you giggle out the confession, watching the confusion wash over his face. “We’re just best friends.”

You’ll blame the alcohol for the way that sentence causes a sharp sting in your chest.

You expect him to start laughing with you, or ask more questions, but Soap narrows his eyes at you instead. He stares at you like he’s trying to read your mind. You wonder if he actually can, if he sees into the years of pent-up feelings you’ve kept buried for so long.

Soap takes a measured sip from his glass, keeping his eyes on you until you’re about to squirm. “Does he know that?”

“Kyle? Of course, he knows that.” You try to laugh it off, but something squeezes around your throat, a shock of anxiety shooting up your spine. There’s a pain in your voice you can’t hide, and you know Soap’s heard it too.

He glances at something over your shoulder, brows knitting together before he schools his face into an overly friendly smile.

“Well, s’pose you can spare me a dance then?” He stands quickly, grabbing your hand before you have a chance to say no and leading you to the dancefloor.

He’s not a bad dancer, you find. Not as good as Gaz, of course, but no one would ever be in your eyes. Soap makes sure you have fun, twirling you around and keeping you steady so you don’t bump into the other dancers. He talks to you the whole time, laughing and joking with you and you get the feeling he’s trying to keep you busy. It leaves you suspicious, but you are having fun.

He spins you again, and this time you let your hand slip from his, moving a few steps away from him with a wink. He laughs, stepping toward you, but you take a playful step back and turn toward the bar where–

Soap watches the smile fall from your face as you spot Gaz sitting at the bar with another woman leaning against him, trailing her finger along his arm as she leans in and he leans in too.

“I’m sure it’s nae what ye think–”

Soap turns, but you’re already gone.

Gaz doesn’t hear from you until four months later when he’s back from their most recent mission.

He’s tired and frustrated and missing his best friend after you disappeared during his birthday. He’d tried calling you the next day, and the day after, but you never picked up. He’d asked the rest of the team if they’d seen you leave, and while Ghost and Price said no, Soap assured him you were safe. The Scot refused to answer anything other than that, and Gaz wanted to strangle him.

He was left to agonize over what could’ve happened at the bar, his mind going to the worst possible places.

No. Soap told him you were safe, and he wouldn’t lie to him. Not about that.

Those four months away are pure torture, and the moment he steps off the airlift, he’s impatient and agitated. He glances at his phone all through the debrief, disappointed to see not one missed call or text from you. It takes Price several times to get him to pay attention, and Gaz tries, but all he can think about is you.

Soap, the little traitor, stays silent while Gaz stews in his misery.

When the meeting ends, and they’re given permission to leave, Gaz is off the base in record time.

If he breaks the speed limit on the way to your place, he doesn’t care. He needs to see you, needs to talk to you.

He doesn’t bother knocking, immediately going for his spare key, and bursting into your home to give you the shock of a lifetime. You nearly jump from your couch at the sudden intrusion, the bowl that was once in your lap spilling popcorn everywhere.

“Jesus Christ, Kyle–”

“What happened at the bar?”

“What?”

He stares at you waiting for an answer, and you’re staring back confused and startled.

“The bar we went to for my birthday. You disappeared and wouldn’t talk to me, and Soap wouldn’t tell me what happened. Did he do something to you? If he did–”

“Okay, calm down,” you sigh, sinking back onto your couch. Gaz clenches and unclenches his fists, more anxious than he’s been in years. “Nothing happened at the bar.”

“Then why–”

You groan in frustration, and Gaz worries about what you’re not telling him. He’s never seen you like this, never seen you battle with yourself so harshly. He steps forward carefully, slowly taking a seat next to you. He sets a gentle hand on your shoulder, a reassuring squeeze to tell you that he’s here for you.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” he says it so softly, and you feel the knot constrict in your throat.

You pull away from his touch, clearing your throat as you look up at the ceiling. Gaz can see the tears building in your eyes, threatening to escape. He fights the urge to reach over and run his thumb over your cheek, giving you gentle words and comforts to take you out of this sadness.

“I saw you at the bar,” you say after two long minutes of agonizing silence. “With that woman.”

Gaz stares at you curiously, unsure of what the woman from the bar has to do with why you’re so upset.

“Had to explain to Soap that we weren’t actually together,” you laugh. A pitiful chuckle that has regret clawing at the deepest pit of his stomach.

“Oh shit, I didn’t think about that,” he sighs. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told them before–”

“That’s not the problem, Kyle!” You’re on your feet, stepping over the mess of popcorn to pace across your living.

“I–I don’t understand.” He truly doesn’t, but he so desperately wants to. if you would just explain it to him–

You stop your pacing, turning to face him with nervous determination. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” His response is immediate, and you squeeze your hands into fists until your nails break the skin of your palms.

“No, I mean I love you, Kyle. I’m in love with you.”

The words hang in the air as Kyle stares at you, eyes wide and mouth open.

The confession hangs in the air as Gaz stares at you, eyes wide and mouth open.

“How–” he clears his throat, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. “How long have you…?”

“A while,” you admit, crossing your arms over your as your eyes fall to the floor.

“How long is a while?”

“Since I broke my ankle on that holiday with your family, and you stayed inside with me for the rest of the trip.”

Gaz nearly chokes. That was over a decade ago when the two of you were still teenagers.

“Why…Why didn’t you say anything?” The words came out barely a whisper as Gaz stares up at you with pure heartbreak.

“I didn’t think you felt the same,” you mumble, keeping your eyes trained on the floor.

“Are you serious?”

He doesn’t know how you could’ve possibly thought any of his feelings for you were platonic. The soft smiles, the yearning looks, the long nights together. He supposes he can’t fully blame you; he’s thought the same of you for all these years.

He stands from the couch, not caring about the popcorn as he marches over to you. “After everything we’ve been through together, the way we act with each other? You thought I didn’t–”

“We’re…we’re friends–”

“We aren’t just friends, and you know it!”

Your mouth snaps shut, your mind unable to form words as you stare at each other. Gaz’s hands slide up from your arms to cup your jaw pulling you ever so slightly closer. His eyes fall to your lips, and you pause just as your noses touch.

“Kyle? Are you…sure?” Your words are a hushed murmur, close enough he can almost feel your mouth grazing against his own.

“Spent my whole life being sure about you. Think we ought to try giving it a shot, yeah?”

Your giggle brings a smile to his face as he closes the gap.

You’ve spent years dreaming about this moment, and still, it’s better than anything you could’ve ever expected.

When Gaz returns to base three days later, a glowing smile on his face and two boxes of cookies in his hands, Soap gives him a knowing smirk and makes a note to text you later to congratulate you.

#gazfest #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #gaz #mw fics #moth writes #private

284 notes · View notes