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#man I need a beer
jakesgain34 · 5 months
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Filling up this athletic shirt with fat, if you'd like to see more and help me get fatter check out my o.f. @jakethegainer
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nocek · 1 year
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Is it a stupid idea? Yes. Did I have to go overboard and animate it? No.
But I had to and I'm not sorry ;P
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thatnununguy · 6 months
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BOY. LOOK AT THIS ONE. SUCH A BEAUTY.
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I’m so glad that Season 3 basically confirmed one (well basically two) of my biggest Wrecker headcanons- he would love to fish and would love boats.
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simpin-on-noodles · 4 months
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I’m in denial
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Here are other Versions without the smear and with the poly flag 🤭
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autismcheese · 1 month
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Shane from Stardew Valley if you are reading this please come home the kids miss you
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andy-clutterbuck · 2 years
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7x12 | Say Yes
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kuurake · 9 months
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liquid courage 🍊🥭🍋
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krustybob · 4 months
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My Name is Earl S1E4: Faked My Own Death
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schizononagesimus · 26 days
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🎶 they tried to make me go to rehab and i said PLEASE PLEASE HOLY FUCK I FEEL SO BAD WILL NOBODY HELP ME I CANT STOP WHY DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS PLEASE HELP
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jakesgain34 · 5 months
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Help me grow this fat belly into a beach ball and see more on o.f. @jakethegainer
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theboarsbride · 5 months
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am I gonna re-watch HBO Chernobyl but this time shut my brain off purely to enjoy old man content??.............yes. And what of it?😡
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softquietsteadylove · 9 months
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This Year
"Gil?"
"Oh," he looked up from sweeping the floor of the shop, still wearing his suit and everything. He sniffled and swiped at his nose, "h-hey."
Thena came into the shop, letting the door drift closed behind her. She also still had on the dress she had worn to the school formal, with her white coat unbuttoned over it. "We turned around and you were gone. What happened?"
"Uh," he tried to turn around, pretending to sweep more thoroughly. He hunched around the stick of the handle, "well...remember how I was gonna ask that girl?"
"I recall."
Thena didn't really like her, but when he had asked her if he should ask, she had given him her support anyway. Thena was a good friend, like that. All their friends were.
"Well," Gil sighed, finally setting down the broom and toying with the tie that was loosened but still hanging around his neck. He must have looked so stupid, "she never showed."
"She stood you up?"
"Wait!" he rushed out, knowing that if Thena got out the shop door, she was going to run to that girl's house and throttle her with her bare hands. "I-I mean, I dunno, maybe she had something come up. Maybe...maybe she had something more important to do."
Thena walked closer to him by the front counter. She crossed her arms at him, "nothing should be more important, if she's the right person."
Gil sighed again, not done with his pity party. He still had the stupid flower he was going to give her, too. "Guess she wasn't."
Thena softened, losing the hard edges to her severe expression. Everyone always said Thena was so scary looking, and maybe he could see it if she was pissed off. But he never thought of Thena like that; she was actually really sweet and considerate.
"Then she's not worth your tears."
He sniffled again, but Thena reached up and brushed some off his cheek for him. It wasn't like he had any reason to act like a tough guy around Thena, anyway. After spending all their lives together, it wasn't like she didn't know he cried at sappy movies and videos of puppies walking for the first time.
"And if I ever see her-"
"Hey," he chuckled, grasping her hands in his before she could start naming the litany of things she would do to his failed date. "Look, it doesn't matter, okay?"
She still had a face that made it seem like it very much did.
"I mean," he shrugged, "just 'cause she talks to me in math doesn't mean she wanted to go out with me. Guess I could have thought of that before asking her, but whatever."
"Gil," Thena started and then paused. She liked to choose her words carefully. She looked at him, tilting her head because after hitting middle school he was finally taller than her. "You don't need her."
He chuckled, "thanks."
"I'm not just saying that as your friend," Thena continued. It was more words than he was used to, from her. "You are kind, and sweet, and as far as I'm concerned you are the only boy I have ever known to have any sense."
He snorted, "c'mon, what about Kingo?--or Druig? Or your own brother?"
"Certainly not," she rolled her eyes before paving over his interruption. "You are the best person I know and...and I would hate to think that you wouldn't believe me."
He did feel like the best, when she put it that way. He sighed, just staring at her under the hum of the fluorescent lights of the shop. He always thought they were kinda depressing, like in apocalypse movies, giving a weird tint to people's skin at night.
But Thena always looked so beautiful.
Thena raised on her toes, in the low heels she was wearing to match her dress. For having said that she was only going because their mother said that she had to if Ikaris went - which was a very Ajak thing to say - she certainly hadn't been lazy about her outfit.
Gil closed his eyes, smelling her perfume as she pressed her lips to his. He forgot about the broom, his arms looping around her back as she slid hers around his neck. He had never kissed a girl. He had - secretly - been hoping that tonight would be his opportunity.
This was far, far better than he could have expected.
Thena pulled away, her eyes darting around, looking at him and wondering what he was thinking. She must've let Sersi and Makkari do her makeup because her eyelashes looked darker and longer than usual. "Gil?"
He blinked, still just staring at her. He felt like he was king of the world, though! Man, kissing was way better than everyone made it seem. He had thought surely it had been overhyped, but no, definitely not.
"Gil!"
The rest of their friends also piled into the shop, also looking haphazard with ruffled hair and half buttoned coats. Sersi came charging in first, her hair bouncing around her. Ikaris slid in right behind her, looking the most frustrated. Makkari and Druig followed in after.
"Are you okay?" Sersi asked, "last I checked you were waiting for your date. Next time I go for some punch no one has seen you and Thena's gone too."
"Uh," Gil blinked, as if time had paused and now he was no longer holding - and kissing - Thena, but now Sersi was talking to him and Thena had slid three feet away. "Y-Yeah."
"Yeah?" Ikaris repeated, obviously not the one most enthused to have left the party. He looked over at his sister, though. Despite the rule that if Ikaris went, she had to go, Ikaris was still her brother (annoying and somewhat overprotective). "What?"
"What?" she asked back, even more defensively.
"What's wrong?" he asked more directly, walking closer to her as if he could smell someone expressing interest in her.
"Gil, are you okay?" Sersi asked him much more sweetly (what she saw in Ikaris, none of them would ever know).
"I'm okay," he smiled, nodding at her. The sting that had him dragging his feet all the way home and in here had faded. It almost felt totally healed, actually. "I, uh, got stood up."
"What?!"
That bitch. Makkari shook her head, although Druig was clearly in agreement with her, even if he was too much of an old soul to ever call a girl a bitch.
"Look, it's okay guys, really," Gil again tried to dissuade his much more bloodthirsty friends (Thena, Druig and Kari). "I think it might have been a misunderstanding, actually."
"You're making excuses for her," Thena pursed her lips. Although, given what just happened, maybe her distaste of his date wasn't just disapproval. He raised his eyebrows at her and she rushed to look away from him.
"I drive you all and no one can close a single car door?" Kingo huffed at them as he finally joined their little pity-party. He looked at Gil over everyone else's heads, "you good, big guy?"
Gil snuck another look at Thena, who blushed faintly. He chuckled, "yeah, I'm a lot better, now."
"Good," Kingo let it suffice. He had his moments of deep emotional understanding, always peppered in between his usual need for attention. "So, what's the plan?"
Everyone looked at everyone else, standing around in Gil's uncle's shop attached to their home.
"Uh, hey!" Gil smiled, finally tugging his tie off completely. "Gramps only ran out to get some pizza and stuff. I was just gonna lock this place up anyway. You guys can come in and...hang out, if you want."
"Party at Gil's!"
He smiled, relieved that he hadn't spoiled the night for anyone. Makkari and Druig happily linked hands and went to the fridges to pick out drinks for everyone. And he knew they would have no problem ditching the formal dance, dates or not.
Ikaris gave his sister another glare, but they were equally stubborn, so there was no way he was going to get any answers from her here and now. He let Sersi drag him away by the arm to pick out sweets.
Sersi did lean back to whisper to Thena, "I assume you went through with it."
Thena swatted her away, as well as Kingo, who gave her a look that seemed between Sersi and Ikaris' levels of knowledge. She ducked her head.
Gil swayed in her direction as their friends helped themselves to the family shop. He felt pretty confident for a guy who had been stood up on his first official date a mere hour earlier.
"You didn't have to invite us to stay," she advised him, also swaying in her hesitation to choose a direction.
He shrugged, pulling just one hand out of his suit pants pocket. "Hey, we should have some fun tonight, right?"
Maybe surprised by his optimism, she smiled. "I suppose you're right."
"Uh," he started and looked around, losing some of that confidence again. Thena just looked so pretty, it was hard to think straight. "I-I guess this is kinda lame, but..."
She stared as he pulled out the flower he had gotten from behind the front counter. "You got her a rose?"
"Well, I wanted to get something," he shrugged, snapping off the long stem like it was nothing. He chuckled, "i actually picked the white one because...it reminded me of you."
Thena let him slip the budding rose into the bun binding her hair together. She stared up at him.
"Sorry," he blushed, slipping his hands into his pockets again. "I'll pick you something more special, next time."
She smiled, visibly resisting the urge to touch it now that it was settled in her hair. She looked towards their friends, already heading towards the back door that would lead through his garage and to the house. She tugged at his sleeve faintly, "it'll be perfect."
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ratatatastic · 2 months
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it becomes increasingly obvious this man cannot wink for the life of him if not for the way he blinks
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do you also think about the way he intentionally matched his hat with his trousers or am i the only one consumed by madness
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appalachy · 1 year
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#like in general#but also last weekend was literally like a skins episode what the fuck im still processing it#we went to see a football match#then spent over an hour getting back to our dorms on foot bc the trams were packed#we were JUST abt to reach the dorm building byt there were these 3 guys standing and they were like#'hiii girls look we reallyREALLY urgently need to get to the club but we re too drunk to call for a taxi wchi means you gotta walk us there#so we were like no fucking way obv we didnt know them AND THEN WENT WITH THEM ANYWAY#we stopped by this one place where young ppl usually meet up to drink bc our friend was partying there#drank her beer lool the boys convinced their friend to go with us qnd this girl turned out to be our mutual friend which is jdjeisbwjkw#so anyway on our way to teh club theres fierworks and ppl shouting celebrating the match we watched#we get to the club we get drinks we start dancing#THE GUY WHO I WENT OUT WITH ONCE AND WHOS OBSESS3D WITH ME BUT NOW PRETENDS I DONT EXIST IS IN THE VERY SAME CLUB AT THE SAME TIME#man#thinks get heated between me and one of these guys we just met#long story short we made out (s&m by rihanna in the background)#at like 3am we left the club and got back and i was glad to finally go to sleep BUt my friend just had to mention that she had whiskey#so we stayed up till 6am in front of our dorm building drinking and being stupid in general#ive got photos of me braiding one of the guys hair and laying on teh ground lol#so anyways#oh also one of the guys lost the fucking thingy ? they give you when youre leaving your stuff in the cloakroom or whatever#so while we were waiting for the cloakroom guy to return with his jacket he was like 'listen i lost the fucking thing#'the moment he returns with my jacket you grab it and we fucking run out of here you hear me?'#and we fucking did 💀#most importantly i got told im a good kisser that night 💯💯💯 but still all that kissing and touching did nothing for me like i said#felt bad for the guy bc he was ..... hmmmmm eager and he was fukcing trying ok so i was out there fake moaning so he doesnt feel bad lol💀
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daysuntilyou · 1 month
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August 20th, 2024
Damn, [Insert filler words] I'm drawing a blank here. Only because you have me speechless. Speechless with an obnoxious grin frozen on my face. The one and only thing that my mind can muster up is YOU. You have stolen my thoughts, on hold and held captive by truly, you. That handsome, that very handsome face you got has got me feeling the feels. Extra dose of feels, 2 cups more than what the recipe calls for. Our secret little touch, when it comes to you and I. That's why no one can duplicate us, they just don't know what makes us that annoying, everyone wants to be us.
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