#man i was literally so focused and then my sister texted me this lyric and i was like Hold on a second

[raven]

so do you think this one is worse than methamphetamines

[drakenology]

Yeah, My Boyfriend’s In A Band

guitarist!todoroki x fem!reader

summary: something straight outta wattpad! you go to a rock band’s concert and stand front row of the stage. The band’s vocalist /guitarist catches your eye and.. well, the rest is history! this is the story of how you first met.

author’s note: soooo.. how yall been? i kinda said fuck it to the schedule i made. why force myself to make content when I just can’t ya know? I’d much rather upload content when it’s at it’s best. so enjoy! I used some lyrics from some of my favorite rock songs for this, can you guess em? Also the art work above isn’t mine!

warnings: smut (duh.), drug use (weed), size kink, pinch of daddy kink, spitting, degradation

It was a hot Saturday night. You were all dressed up and excited to see your favorite heavy metal band the Diaspora play in your city. You were a huge fan, their posters adorned your bedroom walls. You’ve been a fan since they first came out as a cover band.

The members were all pretty fuckin cute, especially the band’s front man. Todoroki Shoto.

He was so handsome; black and red half and half hair, grey sullen eyes, the sexy scar on the left side of his face only adding to the edginess of his visage. His tattoos coated his left arm in a sleeve, his eyebrow pierced as well as his lower lip. He was fucking hot. Obviously not the kind of guy who would pay any attention to you right?

You threw on the Diaspora t-shirt you bought just weeks before the show and tied it in the back so it could be a little cropped and called your uber, frantically spraying perfume in a panic that you were going to be late to the concert. You ran outside, saying goodnight to your roommate as you rush out the door and jump into the car.

“Hey. I’m Shoto Todoroki and I’m the lead singer and guitarist for the band The Diaspora. Hope to see you guys at the show tonight at 8.” You hear as smoothe and sultry voice play over the radio.

You swoon and text some buddies who were also going to the show in excitement, the rush going straight to your brain in a haze as you blast some of their music in your headphones.

When you arrive to the stadium, you spot your best friend from highschool Nejire Hado. You two actually grew up together and even graduated together. It was like you two were sisters, inseparable since birth. Nejire saw you and waved excitedly, squealing with glee and motioned you to come to her spot in line.

“Y/N!!!! Over here!!” She yelled, causing you to run over and jump up and down with her.

“I can’t believe we’re finally here!” You say.

“Me either! Hey, did you hear? There’s rumor’s going around that their having an after party after the show! We have to go, Y/N please say yes.” Nejire rambled, clapping her hands with an inability to contain her excitement.

You look down at your shoes, unsure at first. What if you aren’t even allowed inside? It could be VIP only.

“Fuck it. Let’s go!” You say, causing Nejire to scream and laugh with joy.

Suddenly, the band’s security comes outside to greet the fans waiting to come inside for the show.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please enter in a single fil-“ the poor guy couldn’t even finish his sentence before hundreds of eager fans rush past him and squeeze into the stadium doors, running as fast as the could to get to their seats.

Luckily for you and Nejire, you had front row tickets. Those days of refreshing the page for them as they sold out every second really paid off. You grab Nejire’s hand and run inside, elbowing and clawing your way through to your spot with your best friend by your side. The lights suddenly go dim and the crowd goes insane.

The show’s about to start. You heart seemed to float up into your throat as you stood sweating and nervous, Nejire screaming her head off and jumping up and down when the band came rising up from the bottom of the stage. Smoke covers them for a while until it clears and all you see is Todoroki standing above you, the real him finally being exposed to you as you gaze from the crowd.

He was even more handsome in person. Tonight he wore black jeans and a white band tank top ,showing off his muscular and tattooed arms. Chains hung on his hip and his boots as he propped his foot up on the amplifier in front of him.

“YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” He screamed into the mic, causing the crowd to scream impossibly louder. He smirked, causing you to feel woozy just seeing him look so smug, as if he knew the effects he had on his fans.

You could’ve died right there a happy woman as the band started to play their hit single, the gritty sound of the electric guitar sending chills up your spine as you and Nejire headbang and dance to the music. You sing along to the top of your lungs, watching as Todoroki owned the stage. You gaze up at him again to see something completely and utterly unbelievable.

He was looking right at you.

You gasp, your eyes widening as you lock eyes with him. Shoto kneeled down towards you and reached his hand out to you. You almost scream and grab his tattooed hand with both of your own and smile at him, keeping your eyes focused on his. Shoto took your hand and kissed it as he sang a pretty racy part of his song to you,

“I wanna take you home.” (sleeping with sirens fans?? your nickle aint worth my dime???? NO?)

Oh. My. God

“OH MY FUCKING GOD! Y/N, HE-“ Nejire screamed, just as excited as you. You stood there shocked and flustered, staring into space. Todoroki fucking Shoto just kissed your hand. Shoto smirked and let your hand go, continuing the rest of his show in hopes you got the message. He wanted you. It was common sense that you go to the afterparty now.

The show continued for another 2 hours, Todoroki now dripping in sweat from the hot lights shining upon him and his band.

“Thank you all so much for coming out. For those invited, I’ll see you all at the afterparty! Goodnight everyone!” Todoroki bellowed to the crowd, causing them to cheer him and the band off the stage.

You stand there, high off of every guitar riff and belt from the performance feeling sad that the concert was over. But a rush of hope filled your heart in knowing that you were going to see Shoto again soon. You and Nejire walk out of the stadium hand in hand as you discussed the plan to get to the party.

“So the party is not too far from here, exactly 15 minutes away. We could totally call an uber.” Nejire explains, saying that it’s going to be held in Todoroki’s mansion.

When you both arrive at Todoroki’s Mansion your jaws drop. A huge fountain greeted your uber driver’s car, cobblestone driveways leading you towards his front door. There were hedge sculptures all over the front yard and expensive cars adorned the driveway as you and Nejire step out of the car to see the line to get into the party. Damn. More lines.

You approach the security guard; the same one from earlier that night with a nervous wave.

“U-Um excuse me sir, we’re on the list..” You said unconfidently. Nejire nervous laughed and nudged you for sounding so unsure after giving you a long confidence pep-talk in the car.

“Sorry, kiddo. I’m not seein’ an ‘Y/N’ or a ‘Nejire’. Back o’ the line, ladies.” The security guard huffed, hardly even looking at his list.

“Nah it’s cool, Ben. Let them in.” You hear a familiar voice utter before you get the chance to turn around and walk to the back of the line. Sure enough it was Todoroki standing there, joint lit and eyes hazy. Clearly stoned.

It was like he got more gorgeous as you got closer to him, your cheeks heating up as you realize you’re literally standing in front of your fucking celebrity crush. Nejire squeals and runs inside to go find the drummer and get his number, she says drummers do it harder.

Shoto took you by the hand and led you inside the rager in his foyer. The smell of beer and weed absorbs your nostrils as you walk inside with Shoto in hand, watching as Nejire talks up the drummer with ease as if she already knew him from way back when.

Todoroki sat down on the most comfortable couch you have ever sat in with you next to him, taking a big drag of his joint and motioning it towards you.

“Wanna hit? It’s not laced. Promise.” He said cooly, slowly blowing out the smoke. You take it and take a hit, coughing a little as you puff out the smoke.

Damn this must be what rich people smoke.

“Good huh? Grew it myself. Heh.” Todoroki laughed a little as he watched you take another hit.

“Shit. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, finally.” You say, nervousness coating your tongue. Shoto gave you a warm smile, his hazy eyes gleaming in the dim lights of the room.

“Gorgeous name for a gorgeous girl.” Shoto said, kissing the same hand he did at the concert.

You heat up, your panties becoming slightly wet at him touching and kissing you. He smirked and grabbed you by your chin to make sure you look him directly into his grey orbs.

“When I saw you in the crowd, I almost couldn’t keep my eyes off you.” He said into your ear, causing your mind to block out any outside sound that wasn’t his voice. You gulp, blinking dumbly as you try to find the words to say something.

“I-I, um. Th-thank you.” You say, looking down into his lap. Shoto pulled away to smoke his joint a little more. You two talked all night, everyone around you both becoming irrelevant as you seemingly grow closer together.

Strangely, none of the rumors about Todoroki were true. He wasn’t this stuck up asshole the media made him out to be. He was calm and gentle, the sweetest guy you’ve ever had the pleasure of having a conversation with. You learned so much about him that night. He was so misunderstood.

You’re high now and completely hazy as you and Todoroki make out on the couch. You’re not sure how you two even got to this point but you loved it. One thing led to another and now you were straddling him on the couch, his hands in your back pockets as he groped and squeezed your ass.

Your lips mingled as you moan into the kiss, Todoroki’s tongue slipping into your mouth to make home of it. The kiss got so hot your pussy was sopping wet underneath your jeans as you mindlessly grind against him for some kind friction.

Todoroki pulled away and started kissing your neck, damn near ripping your clothes off in front of the entire party. You’re gasping and grabbing at his clothes, forgetting where you are as you become desperate for him. You wanted him so bad and you knew he wanted you too.

“Wanna get out of here? Go upstairs I mean.” Shoto asked, huffing into the skin of your neck as his hard dick poked at your thigh.

“God yes.” You say breathily. As soon as he got your consent he carried you upstairs, the party raising their glasses and their blunts in celebration for Todoroki getting some.

“YES! Y/N tell me everything okay!?” Nejire yelled drunkenly, pulling away from her makeout session with the band’s drummer. You giggle and wave down at her, Todoroki laughing softly as he watched the interaction between you and your best friend.

“Just so you know, princess. I’m not going to go easy on you.” Shoto said, pinning you against the hallway wall.

“I don’t want you to.” You mewl, leaning into his neck to nip at it. Shoto let out a low chuckle and nearly kicked down his bedroom door, tossing you onto his luxurious california king bed.

You take a quick look around his darkly colored room, black walls with coordinating grey funiture. Posters of his inspiration adorned his walls, almost similar to your room just $100,000 richer. He had a mirror above his bed as you look up at your reflection you see Todoroki crawl on top of you, unbuttoning and pulling your jeans off in one fell swoop.

You’re immediately embarrassed, forgetting it was laundry day at home so you threw a thong on because you didn’t have anything else to wear. It was black and lacy and oh so skimpy you quickly move your hands to cover up in shame, Shoto grabbing your wrists and pinning your hands above your head.

“Heh. How’d you know I love lace?” Shoto teased, practically salivating at the sight of your smooth legs beneath him. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Shoto said, running his hands along your sides as if he was a lion playing with his prey before he ate it.

You bit your lip, dripping and hungry for some kind of touch in the places you needed him most, your nipples prodding at the thin fabric of your band tee. Yeah, you forgot to wear a bra. Shoto pulled your shirt above your head, tossing it somewhere and hissing at the sight of your bare breasts.

“No bra either? Man.. it must be my birthday. I’m gonna have fun with you, princess.” Todoroki says taking a nipple into his mouth, not breaking eye contact with you as he suckled gently following with short lick causing your entire body to catch flame.

You start moaning miserably, your whole body begging him to take you. Shoto pulls away from your nipple with a light pull of his lips and slips his hand down to your slit, caressing it agonizingly slow to tease you. He takes his other hand and presses his thumb to your lips.

“Open your mouth.” He rasped. And you did, sucking on his thumb as he rested it on your tongue making Shoto moan at the sight, humming a ‘good girl’ under his breath. Shoto held your mouth open and spit, pulling you into a sloppy kiss as he plunged his thick digits into your needy hole.

You arch your back off the bed, biting down onto Shoto’s lip as he finger fucked you without mercy. Your moans filled the air, Shoto watching you intently as he took your breast into his mouth once more.

“Sho- ah! I-I’m gonna-“ You bellow, trying to hold onto something for dear life as he brought you closer and closer to your peak.

“That’s daddy to you, princess. Try again and maybe I’ll let you cum around my fingers.” Shoto hissed, slowing his pumping fingers a bit to ensure you got the point.

He was in control. You pant, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath only for it to get caught in your throat again. Desperate moans fall out of your mouth as you beg him to let you cum.

“D-Daddy!~” You gasp, Shoto leaning into your neck, his ear right next your mouth as you scream for him. You collapse into his arms, fucked out and stupid off Todoroki’s strong fingers. All those years of guitar weren’t for nothing.

“That’s it baby.. fuck, you made a mess.” Shoto cooed, slowly dragging his fingers out of you as he watched your slick stick to him sloppily. At this point, he’s so hard you can clearly see the veins in his dick jumping out of his pants, his size making you wince in pain before he even entered you.

“Think you can take all of me, princess?” Shoto asked, throwing his contricting pants and boxers somewhere across the room, releasing his impressive size for you to see. You gulp but nod, licking your lips at the sight of him.

Shoto smirked at your reaction and pumped himself a few times before teasingly tapping the head of his dick against your clit, causing you to yelp from the sensitivity of your abused core.

“Pleaseee.” You whine, Shoto grabbing you by the neck and choking you almost to tell you to shut up and be patient. He wastes no time in plunging into you, the thickness of his dick stretching your walls with a delicious sting.

You claw at his back as he bottomed out, gasping sharply as he filled you completely.

“Am I hurting you?” Todoroki asked with what little sympathy he had left in his body. You shook your head no, moaning as he stayed still inside you.

“P-P-Please move..” you mewl, chewing your bottom lip. Shoto smirked and began rutting his hips into yours at a rough pace, not really caring if you adjusted to him or not. Hard slaps and the sound of your whiny moans filled the room as the headboard of his bed slammed against the wall, probably alerting the entire party downstairs.

You’re screaming now, a moaning mess beneath him as he split you wide open. As your eyes rolled to the back of your head, Shoto throws your legs over his shoulder and starts pounding into you.

He’s going to make sure you’re unable to walk straight for the rest of the week, marking you as his.

“Fuckkk, daddy. S-Slow down.” You pleaded only for Shoto to ignore you and continue his pace, laughing at the shocked and fucked out face you were pulling.

“Told you I wasn’t taking it easy on you. Did you forget already, princess?” Shoto breathed, moving his hands to rub shallow circles into your clit.

Your toes curled up tightly as your orgasm ripped through your body, your moans reaching a cresendo as your scream Shoto’s name.

He hissed as your walls fluttered around him, your pussy gripping him tightly as he fucked into you continuosly.

“I hope you didn’t think I was through with you just because I made you cum. I’m not done yet, doll.” Shoto muttered through your pathetic whines for him to slow down.

He cooed praises at you, a “good girl” here and a “you take my dick so well” there until his thrusts got rusty and sloppy; a sign he was close to cumming.

“Shittt, where do you want me to-“

“I-Inside m-mee! Fuck, cum inside me!” You shriek. And so he did, fucking his hot stickiness into you for a while as you both moan and pant. Shoto rode out your climaxes for a while before slowly pulling himself out as he watched his cum ooze out of your abused pussy.

As Shoto flopped on the bed next to you, you both stare up at the mirror on his ceiling. You’re both sweaty and your hair was a fucking mess from being tossed around the bed for what seemed like hours.

“Shit. Probably late as fuck by now. You wanna stay the night?” Shoto asked, taking your hand and famously kissing it once more. You smile and nod, unable to form coherent sentences as you feel yourself doze off.

Todoroki jumps from his bed and opened the door, screaming from the top of the stairs, “Oi! All you motherfuckers can fuck off home!Party’s over!” You laugh and throw a pillow at him.

“Don’t be so mean, Sho. Uh.. C-Can I call you Sho?” You ask embarrassed.

“You keep fucking me like that you can call me whatever you want, angel.” Shoto groans, grabbing you by your face and kissing you sweetly.

“Honestly, I wanna go again. You down?”

[kreidewaltz]

christmas rush | s.r.

pairing. suna rintarou x gn!reader

about. after your interesting encounter with the suna sublings, he texted you to meet up at the station and you let him come along to experience what christmas is to you.

word count. 3.1k

genre & warnings. fluff. strangers to friends. mutual pining. suna's sister is cute. timeskip. vague mention of atsumu and msby jackals.

author’s note. my secret santa fic for you @avantaes for the happy holidays exchange of alice's server <3 sorry if i slip up on the pronouns, i'm trying out writing a gn!reader eheh thank you to @haikyuu-is-for-lovers ​for beta-ing this fic ily this is a part of the haikyuu holidays collab which you can check here!

“have a merry christmas!” you say, waving at the girl who looks at you with bright, sparkling eyes that makes your heart warm. her parents, sliding money onto the counter and giving you two heartwarming smiles, stepped away from the store before you could decline and give it back to the family. clasping your hands for a moment, you squeal and shake your co-worker’s shoulders,  resulting in you messing up his bright red cap, showing off your two thousand yen, and doing the thing where you swipe the money off your palm.

“look, look! I’ve got tips, ‘samu!” you exclaim, your voice getting a pitch higher because you can’t contain your excitement from doing well on being a cashier today. it drains your energy from repeatedly talking and keeping up a persona in front of other people to live up to the reputation of the toy store. the jar on your counter filled with crumpled money and coins makes you confident and you excitedly bounce on the wooden chair. he provides you a thumbs up along with a soft smile on his exhausted face before the ringing bell and chatter of people startles you both in your places. 

another christmas rush, you both ponder. 

you prepare yourself by cracking your fingers and stretching for a minute since you’re experienced in the working field– demanding customers, stubborn and loud children, and oldies who whisper and say they know everything about working. both of you have gone through that and it seems fate throws another batch of those people. turning your head and seeing him staring back at you with determination bubbling on his eyes cracks a smile on your dull face.

“osamu, let’s ditch work and celebrate together.” you say, voice lowered to a whisper as you jutted out your bottom lip while waiting for the customers since they take their time picking out plushies or christmas cards. osamu chuckles, his hand playfully punching your arm and murmuring under his breath how you’re confusing which made you step on his white shoes. the look of horror forming on his face is more than enough to leave you satisfied with your revenge, which was childish to begin with. you whisper three, two, one before hearing the bells, indicating that customers are coming in. you mentally prepare yourself for another continuous rush.

-

"spare us ten minutes?" the voice asks, making you startled on your chair and a small smile appear on your face to assist the last customer for the night. there are still people in the mall, but the store got quiet after the rush earlier, so this was expected. but the person got you dumbfounded. locking eyes with the man had you unconsciously gulping because you’d heard of him from your co-worker.

"suna rintarou..?" muttering to yourself and giving him a subtle nod, your tired eyes move to the glass door and a sigh leaves your chapped lips - seeing no one handling the fans is arduous. arching your back for a moment to stretch and feeling your bones crack brings contentment because standing and moving around for eight hours isn’t a pleasant experience. because of the beige bucket hat he’s wearing, you can’t see his expression clearly, but his lips are pressed together and there’s no brightness forming in his eyes. 

the hell? he should be excited about the christmas season!

“taro-nii, let’s go!” a gentle yet loud voice breaks your stretching and you instantly see the resemblance of the volleyball player to his sister, who looks adorable in her olive green sweater and the hair clips resting on her hair, making her stylish at a young age. hearing “wish me luck!” produces chuckles from you because of his monotone voice in contrast to his sister’s. and because you know he’ll be dragged around in the store, your exhausted eyes meet his, a mix of gray and yellow which is beautiful, you muse to yourself. 

as the siblings disappeared on the aisle, you instantly nudge osamu’s waist with your elbow and lean forward to remove his cap since he angles it in a way his eyes are covered. 

“‘samu! he’s hot.” cupping your cheeks before shrieking and shaking your head in disbelief, you bite on your lip to prevent squealing because you two made eye contact earlier, chuckling at the way it’s obvious he didn’t want to be here. the fact that he’s wearing a bucket hat made your palms clammy, picturing him in your mind while swooning over him for the next couple of hours.

“you do remember that he attended inarizaki, right?” your eyes widen like the dangling christmas balls hanging on the ceiling— leaving your mouth open and desperately trying to recall your high school, which is evident due to the furrow of your eyebrows and the continuous bouncing your left leg.

“wait.. you’re kidding right? i’m sure i would’ve seen him somewhere!” 

with your voice turning to a low whisper, you scoot your chair closer to osamu’s because there’s a possibility the other volleyball player could hear you— and you don’t want that to happen.

in your mind, you’re weighing the pros and cons: he’s in the toy aisle and probably helping his sister to pick toys, there’s upbeat christmas songs playing in the store, and add the indistinct yet loud chatter of people in the mall... it's possible that he wouldn't hear you, but you won't take risk— not for now.

“you could, but you didn’t.” throwing a harsh glare in his direction, but reconciling by giving a peace sign after, you recognize that osamu’s words are the truth, but the underlying tone of cockiness didn’t go unnoticed. by nature, you are observant, after all. even if your co-worker denies he’s similar to the nosy blonde that is his brother, but there are some things you couldn’t help but notice, they both love teasing, only osamu is lowkey about it. 

“you’re a literary type of girl, so it makes sense you didn’t watch our game... don’t even say i didn’t invite you.” 

“studying is important, you idiot!” crossing your arms and rolling the stack of papers laying on the counter before slamming it on his head with little force, you pout in distress, only because if you’d attended the games, you could’ve seen suna around the high school, or admired him while he’d practice and get lost in his voice whenever he’d speak.

“why are we even talking about me! we should talk about your cru—“ 

“excuse me but..” a familiar voice interrupted your playful banter and you had to clutch your stomach because of who’s laid in front of your eyes. the glint forming in your eyes makes suna annoyed and let out a tsk, but he didn’t move because his sister was currently fawning over the toys that she’d add to her new collection.

“osamu, don’t just stand there.” you nudge your co-worker to help his friend, but instead he leaned over the counter and whispered something to suna, and the sly smirks forming on their faces makes your toes curl on your shoes in nervousness and the countless worries are starting to overlap in your head. 

you couldn’t help it, you’re a natural overthinker.

“alright! suna, you’re in good hands.” osamu’s hand gives your shoulder a soft squeeze before he disappears through the backdoor. you watch, tapping your fingers on your thighs to the beat of the cheerful christmas song playing right now.

“taro-nii, give it already!” his sister’s voice made you hold back a laugh by lowering your head, and you went to help him scoot over the toys and candies onto the counter. there are plushies on his hand, biscuits squished by his elbow and a reindeer headband he’s wearing which isn’t that neat— you assume his sister put it on and kept being persistent. plus, his soft brown hair looks all over the place.

“look, look! this is cute, right?” his energetic sister beams at you, her small hands holding the fox plushie with a proud smile on her face. you leaned more onto the counter to pat her head, her giggles due to your head pat making you giddy inside. she’s courteous and well behaved; her natural bright energy gives off a great aura. 

“yes! it’s so adorable like you!” patting her head once more and gently grabbing the toy from her, the literal sparkles present in her eyes make you snicker and scan the tags of the items quickly, giving the fox plushie back to her hands, which are welcoming the toy warmly. 

“no! this is taro-nii.” after finishing the scan, you put the items on the two pastel red and green paper bags and your ears perk up. giggling at her enthusiasm towards her brother, your eyes focused on him, faint red visible around his neck as it extended to the tip of his ears.

“how much do you love him?” you whisper, side eyeing the latter while he stands still, holding the two bags without looking in your direction. you and his sister giggle while she squeals at your question.

“this much!” she states, putting her hands to the side and expanding the love she has for her beloved brother— who’s standing, flustered, but somehow still keeping an eye your fingers tapping mindlessly on the counter. he ruffled her hair and poked her cheek to annoy her, only now a distress pout is forming on her lips and she huffs her pink dusted cheeks. 

“let’s go, we’ll come back soon.”

hopping on the counter and helping suna hold the bags while he fixes his sister’s adorable pigtails, the next song blasting on the speakers makes her jump around and slur the lyrics while her hands are wrapped around the plushie as if she’s never letting go. he gave a subtle nod and his eyes went to his arms, catching up on his clues and giving a big wave to the siblings. if you only noticed the faint red tint adorning his cheeks as he ran a hand through his hair because of him doing something discreet without anyone noticing, or you.

this is indeed a memory you can’t forget on christmas. 

-

“he’s so slow, is he a turtle?” you say, murmuring under your breath as you snuggle your head on your pale blue scarf wrapped around your neck comfortably. balling your fists in your coat pocket to not shudder at the cold breeze passing by, regret flooded your mind because you only wore your off white shirt and the coat protecting you from the snow falling from above. you tap your white sneakers against the snow-covered ground as you impatiently wait for suna, who texted you he’d be ahead of you earlier that day. 

“hey, christmas cashier.” seeing him beside you wearing casual clothes got your cheeks to heat up and made you playfully punch his shoulder. tiptoeing a little to adjust the scarf around his neck and pat the snow off his dark gray coat, neither of you said anything. you can’t say anything; the close proximity and being under his sharp gaze makes you nervously uneasy.

“hi to the most discreet and late man i know.” the smirk forming on his face indicates he’s not offended by your statement. by discreet you’re referring to the small paper with his number written on it that he slid smoothly onto the counter while you were busy with his sister. hours later you figured out it was the reason why osamu and him were smirking. his text particularly said “let’s be early and be spontaneous, show me how christmas is to you”. ruffling his hair to purposely annoy him, you tug his hand to skip along the grounds and finally begin the journey of doing christmas activities, showing him how he should appreciate the holiday through your perspective.

since you accidentally ponder out loud, "how many reasons must i provide for you to enjoy winter season with me?" and he shrugs instantly, looking from far away, his eyes longing for something as he softly whispers... "two or three would be enough." 

-

"why the hell are we here?" he narrows his gray-yellow eyes at you while you're busy cupping your cheeks due to the cold temperature at the mall. walking a little further to the back, but enough that you'd see what's happening to the center of the place, people who are in the front (whether they like it or not, they've got no choice) get to sit in santa's lap and get to take pictures with santa claus.

"hey! let me explain. in christmas season, mr. suna rintaro, enjoy the free entertainments!" crossing your arms and pointing a finger in his direction before you adjust his scarf and pat his hair, ruffling it to cover his eyes because he's a volleyball figure, you and him watch this with a company can ensue chaos.

"yeah? like sitting on santa's lap?" he stepped a little closer to you because of people passing by - he didn't want injuries to happen. hearing your chuckles has his hands clammy and him shaking his head to compose himself internally.

"don't worry! we're just gonna watch them and bully them— a secret between us only." a giddy smile is visibly present on your face as you hold onto your scarf to cover your smile that can't seem to stop.

"oh my god.. look at that!" slapping a hand over your mouth and shutting your eyes because you had to physically stop yourself from laughing or people will hear you and think you're hysterical. he follows your gaze and he can't help but let out a snicker. he has to tell osamu about this.

there's someone sitting on santa's lap, much to his dismay because he's whining and moving a lot— like a child that doesn't receive candy from the doctors. the faux blonde seems at your age, his pissed off expression is somehow wholesome which makes the group of people here break into fits of laughter.

"that guy, he's a kid at heart." you murmur under your breath and grin at suna as he locks eyes with you and nods at your statement. he didn't talk much after that, just chuckling with you and angling his phone to record the blonde earlier, which had you squealing at it because free entertainments are rare. though one thing you failed to notice was how his black phone captured you tiptoeing to get more of a view in the enormous crowd, a hand on your waist and the brightness of your mesmerizing eyes beating the sparkling christmas ornaments.

you weren't an entertainment, because in his head it seems wrong, and it is. more of, you were just someone beautiful that suna rintaro could stare at for hours and never get bored of— because you are someone who's interesting, and he can't wait to discover the other layers you have.

-

“on christmas, use your charm and coupons to get discounts.” skipping around the streets to see different foods which makes you hungry and act distressed by whining so he’ll go with you to the food stalls. he scoffs at your statement and follows behind you, genuinely curious on what you’ll do because he isn’t the type to use coupons to buy food. he gives the cash and is good to go to savor the food alone.

“one order of oden, please!” you say, waving to the old man behind the oden stall with a bright smile. the former nodded, saying a “comin’ right up!” as you tug suna closer to the stall to inhale the heavenly scent of oden— the dashi soy sauce broth is making you lick your lips in anticipation, and the fish cakes and the deep fried tofu added excitement in your stomach.

“thanks! i’m so hungry.” with a chuckle slipping past your lips, you bow down before stepping to the snow-covered bench across from you. the cold feeling of the snow makes you hiss as you try to make yourself comfortable.

“suna? taste it! perfect food for this hell of a winter.” holding the bowl with delicacy before he accepts it with a small smile adorning his face, he brings down his scarf before taking a big sip of the broth and a bite of the hard boiled egg. a low rumble comes from his chest which you assume is because of the hot broth soothing the cold feeling.

“where’s the charm and discount there?” turning his body towards you and looking at you with soft eyes as he watches you take a bite of the tofu, a smile passing through your lips because it is newly fried while you huff your smooth, pink cheeks. 

“the charm is just.. interacting with people, you know? giving them smiles because god knows what they go through with customers.” he can’t help but chortle at your statement, but still nods after a minute, agreeing with you. his right hand plays with the black button of his coat, needing something to distract himself. 

“he only let me pay in half for the oden. it’s generous, yeah? he always gives me food when i go home years ago, you know, the shitty college phase.” giving the bowl to him once again as he listens attentively, his gaze goes to the oden stall- maybe he can visit once in a while and ask questions about you, or he can tag his sister along. tapping his black boots on the ground in habit while stretching his other leg straight, he hears your breath hitch and it makes him snicker inwardly, probably because of how long his leg is or because you’re amazed by the hot stew. either way, it’s charming.

“mhm, yeah, and i bet you insisted at first.” he feigns innocence as he takes in your offended expression. eyes wide like marble saucers, you purse your lips and cover the bowl with your ice-cold hands, acting like you don’t want to share the food with him anymore. 

“w-well, of course! but you know old people.” you sigh, grabbing the chopsticks and taking a bite of the fish cake while shutting your eyes for a moment to momentarily forget the flaring heat forming on your cheeks and down to your neck. he looks ahead as he attempts to scramble his thoughts, but there's something over his lips and it's the deep fried tofu. you push it further with a smile on your face as he begrudgingly takes it as a whole.

"and yeah! this sums it up, that during christmas you should enjoy the simple things." taking a last sip of the heavenly soy sauce broth before you nudge him for him to take the last gulp. he went along with you, after all; he deserves the last sip of the stew. you grab the bowl from him and stroll back to the trash can nearby the stall—oh, if you only noticed his eyes following your every move with a gentle smile forming on his face.

his thoughts begin to clear out and only come to a conclusion—you're pretty and simple, and he should appreciate it more.

[youremyonlyhope]

Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that!  “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.”  The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!”  Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and  the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!”  The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.”  So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Wallice has shared her subversive new single 'Hey Michael'. 'Hey Michael' amplifies her blood-thirsty nature, a revenge anthem that finds Wallice turning into a worse villain than her erstwhile love interest. A song about toxic tendencies and how they manifest in our lives, 'Hey Michael' twists and turns around American Psycho imagery. Wallice labels "a revenge anthem for anyone who has encountered a gaslighting, manipulative person. It’s what I wish I would have said to all the ‘Michael’s’ I have met in my life. It can be substituted by many names, we all know or have met a ‘Michael’ though. Somehow the world revolves around them and they just can’t catch a break, because they never do anything wrong and it’s usually your fault. You should have listened to your gut instinct and swiped left on this Michael. This isn’t a man-hating song, it’s just something many people can relate to. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to admit just how bad a friend, date, or romantic partner was and a lot of the time, I would just smile and laugh off stupid remarks but when I think back, I wish I had told them off. But at the same time, my persona in the song is not the best person either. I literally say: I think I want to start a fight, which one is your girlfriend? The whole song is funny because I am so focused on how shitty Michael is that I don’t even think about how shitty I might be as well." Directed by Phil Stillwell, the video takes place at a house party, with Wallice interacting with various 'Michaels' before her behaviour spirals into something much, much worse. [via Clash]

In the same vein as Massive Attack’s suburban groove and social commentary in the mid 90’s, KITA have captured the rhythm and heartbeat of suburban Pōneke; a city abuzz with a vibrant music and dramatic performance scene in their brand new track and official video, ‘Private Lives’. Weaving together elements of vintage rock, pop and soul, and warm hints of synth, KITA have created a skin-prickling piece of magic with ‘Private Lives’, a deeply beautiful track penned in 2020’s lockdown, that delves into the unknown of what happens when the blinds are shut – the parts of life that are unseen by others. "Standing from my kitchen window during lockdown in Aotearoa, sinister thoughts entered my mind about what could be happening behind closed doors for people”, says front-woman Nikita 雅涵 Tu- Bryant. The video tells the story of a father and daughter’s relationship amongst snapshots of everyday life and its monotonous anonymity, while things aren’t always what they appear on the surface. Late at night the father can finally reveal his true self, adorning makeup and sequins, only to be spied by his daughter. The two then share a special moment of dressing up and dancing together, a true celebration of individuality, self-love and the beauty of self-expression.

'Just Chemistry' is the third single from Dance Lessons, a London-based, female-fronted and produced trio, creating what they define as Serrated Pop. 'Just Chemistry' is a delicate hymn to the unspoken. Dance Lessons return with their signature sound – minimal production, sleek vocals and intricate arrangements. Ann says: “'Just Chemistry' is about the over-complication of our relationships. It’s about the things that are left unsaid in-between the awkward text messages and conversations, and how the absence of knowing can be misinterpreted as doubt. Last year was a difficult one. For a long time, I felt at the mercy of my emotions. I doubted where things were going. I lived in the future and found it hard to commit to the present. But these moments of not knowing can be equally thrilling and beautiful. And that’s what the song is about: finding beauty in the unspoken. In most cases, it’s chemistry that makes us fall in love. Things end, all is temporary. Let’s not go to war with one another over it.” Nat says on the video: “A friend told us about this weird and wonderful house in North London that feels a little like stepping into an acid trip. We obviously wanted to check it out. It’s completely surreal, all over the place (in a great way) and generally eclectic, which felt inherently us. We instantly wanted to do something there and asked the owner for permission to shoot a music video. We filmed during lockdown and were let loose embracing all the oddness of it. Ann also designed and created the outfit she wears in the video, something she does with most of her wardrobe. It was shot, directed and edited by our hugely talented friends Ben Hanson and Simon Frost from Borderland Studios.”

Returning with her first offering of the year, North London’s rising star Laurel Smith is ready to reveal her anticipated new single, ‘Out the Cage’ accompanied by an action packed and thrilling cinematic style music video directed by Jeremie Brivet and Jai Garcha. Sticking to her winning recipe of moody, dark, electro-pop production paired with effortlessly edgy tales of narrative lyricism, ‘Out the Cage’ is the next huge single from the young, innovative artist that is sure to follow the same trajectory of success as its predecessor, ‘Game Over’ released late last year. A songwriter and recording artist, Laurel Smith has been writing songs since the age of sixteen. With each single she’s released, Laurel has continued to adapt her sound and aesthetic, consistently honing her craft and evolving her brand. She has carefully carved out her place in an ever crowded industry and proceeds to turn heads at every corner. “‘Out The Cage’ is a song about breaking out from your constraints, both physical and mental. Although it can be interpreted in any way, when I wrote it I created a story around a bored housewife, falling out of love with her husband, she fantasises about tying him up and leaving him to be a badass assassin in a video game type world, roaming the city at night and living a life of unpredictability and excitement”.

Hailing from the Philippines, singer-songwriter Laica is coming off a breakout 2020. Now the 21-year-old is gearing up for the release of her debut album I’m so fine at being lonely. The first single off the project, 'love u lately' is here, accompanied by a music video directed by Cooper Leith. 'Love u lately' is a relatable and infectious track. The song revolves around dating, understanding mixed signals, and the confusion that surrounds that world. Lyrically, Laica walks us through her experiences here, voicing her thoughts and frustrations about someone who she just can't seem to read right. Production-wise, the track is carried by a pulsing synth and a groovy bass. Together, the track feels upbeat. The vibe created by the production stands in contrast with the more emotional lyrics, making the track complex and interesting. The music video takes the concept of 'love u lately' to the extreme, in a fun and playful way. Laica is seen capturing her dream boy and attempting to use witchcraft to finally win him over. The video has a very DIY feel, which could serve to add to the reliability of the track. It’s a great extension of the track and taps into everyone’s most fantasy-driven realities. [via Earmilk]

At first, Emily C Browning wasn't sure what to think. Spurned, rejected, and cast aside, she was angry, furious, and - at times - utterly bereft. Usually she'd utilise songwriting as a vessel for her emotions, but when she was so conflicted, and feeling so negative, that it just didn't enter her mind. The Christchurch, New Zealand artist needed to take a step back, and when she located some perspective, she was ready to act. New single 'I Wasn't Into You Anyway' is a soaring slice of revenge, one that finds Emily C Browning taking full control of her music. Her first solo production credit, its reminiscent of those surging, empowering Maggie Rogers bops, while also containing similar DNA to Sharon Van Etten's work. Lyrically, it's absolutely her own creation, with Emily leaning on those often-hidden feelings. She comments... "Everyday for a month I wrote in my journal: I want to write a song about feeling rejected. But I couldn’t figure out how to keep it light and funny, it can be quite a painful topic and I didn’t want to sound too heavy. But I kept working on it everyday and came up with this song. I then spent another month recording it, trying to capture a sound that stayed upbeat and playful. I put so much time and energy into the song that I ended up completely forgetting about the person who rejected me in the first place (honest, I swear)." [via Clash]

Alt-pop force Holly Humberstone returns with new single 'Haunted House'. The songwriter's potent debut EP Falling Asleep At The Wheel was a sensation, racking up more than 100 million global streams. A bona fide phenomenon, Holly returns with a single that displays a more nuanced, reflective side to her work. 'Haunted House' digs into childhood, and looks at the way memory can frame the way we construct our identities. She comments: "I wrote this song about the old and characterful house I grew up in. The house is such a huge part of who I am and our family. With my sisters and I moving out and living separate lives, coming home feels very comforting and one of the only things keeping us all connected." Playing with concrete imagery and no small degree of invention, 'Haunted House' connects art to life in an enchanting fashion. She adds: "The house is almost falling down around us now though, and we’ve realised that pretty soon we’ll be forced to leave. There’s a cellar full of meat hooks and a climate so damp mushrooms grow out of the walls. Loads of people have probably died here in the past but I’ve always felt really safe. It’s like a seventh family member. It’s part of me." [via Clash]

In 2019, the Boston-born and Brooklyn-based indie rock album Crumb released their debut album Jinx. Crumb haven’t yet announced plans to follow that album up, but they’re definitely working towards something. Last month, the band came out with a one-off single called 'Trophy.' Now, they’ve followed that one with two new tracks, and they’re both winners. The new songs 'BNR' and 'Balloon' both fit nicely into Crumb’s comfort zone. The band’s sound is a rich, sophisticated take on psychedelia, with blissed-out lead vocals from Lila Ramani and with some great funky drum action. The band co-produced both songs with Foxygen’s Jonathan Rado, who’s done great recent work with people like Father John Misty and Weyes Blood and the Killers and who knows how to make oblique ’70s-style pop sound good. But Crumb themselves deserve a ton of credit for coming up with a sound this layered and weird. They’re the rare circa-2021 band who might remind you of Broadcast. In a press release, Ramani says, “‘BNR’ is an ode to my favorite colors. I had a weird obsession with those colors in winter 2018-2019 and felt like they would follow me around everywhere I went." 'BNR' also has a cool music video. Director Joe Mischo starts the clip off as a hallucinatory reverie, but he turns it sharply towards horror at the end. [via Stereogum]

Last year, Limerick poet/musician Sinead O’Brien released her debut EP, Drowning In Blessings. It was a unique work, a handful of songs featuring O’Brien’s sing-speak over spindly, post-punk guitars. It garnered O’Brien a bit of buzz overseas, and it left you wondering where she might take her music from there. Now, O’Brien’s back with a new song called 'Kid Stuff.' “‘Kid Stuff’ shows up all different tones on different days,” O’Brien said in a statement. “There’s something alive in it which cannot be caught or told. It is direct but complex; it contains chapters. This feels like our purest and most succinct expression yet.” Like Drowning In Blessings, 'Kid Stuff' found O’Brien working with Speedy Wunderground mastermind Dan Carey. Musically, it hints at a level up moment for O’Brien. There was something alluring and jagged about Drowning In Blessings, but 'Kid Stuff' places her usual approach over a song that is surprisingly groovy — maybe even a little danceable. It comes with a video directed by Saskia Dixie. [via Stereogum]

Das Beat are made up of German actress and vocalist Eddie Rabenberger and Agor of Blue Hawaii. The pair have just shared their first single 'Bubble' online now and are set to release their debut EP Identität on June 4 via Arbutus Records. Born in Berlin during 2020’s legendary lockdown, Das Beat seeks to blast both boredom and boundary. Dabbling in German New Wave, Italo Disco, Indie & Dance, their sound is unified by vocals from Eddie Rabenberger, sung in German and English. Amidst playful lyrics one finds a strong underlying pulse (das “beat”), pinning down the duo’s meandering atmospherics, dreamy synths, guitars and percussion. The duo is half-Canadian and half-German. Agor (of Blue Hawaii), moved to Berlin from Montreal in 2018. Eddie is a theatre actress originally hailing from a small town in Bavaria. Together they find a strange but alluring symbiosis - like Giorgio Moroder meets Nico, or Gina X Performance meets The Prodigy.

St. Vincent has fully embraced the ’70s aesthetic for her retro-sounding new record, Daddy’s Home. Now, she’s diving headlong into the animation styles of the era with the video for 'The Melting of the Sun'. Presented as a “betamax deluxe release” rip from “Candy’s Music Video Archives,” the clip blends live action shots of St. Vincent herself with the wavy, intermittent animation frames any Schoolhouse Rock student is familiar with. The psychedelic lines fit a song called 'The Melting of the Sun' perfectly, as do the drawings of the legends mentioned in the song’s lyrics like Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell, and Tori Amos. St. Vincent co-directed the clip with Bill Benz, while Chris McD provided the animation. [via Consequence]

Bay Area slowcore trio Sour Widows have released a new single, 'Bathroom Stall,' from their forthcoming EP Crossing Over, which they announced last month with its title track. The song’s build-up is subtle and poignant like Sufjan Stevens, but Maia Sinaiko’s evocative, sweeping vocals are one-of-a-kind, and the lyrics are graphic and tragic: “Do you remember it like I do?/ Your lips turned blue I had my fingers in your mouth/ And I couldn’t get them out.” Sinaiko said of the song: "This song is about a relationship I had with someone who struggled with addiction, who very tragically passed away three years ago while we were together. It’s about some moments we shared, and how it feels to walk around carrying that person and those experiences with me while the world stays normal. I wrote the song because I wanted to preserve and document what happened to me. to write out the scary stuff and just let it sit there forever. I think its funny that its called 'Bathroom Stall' and that it has that image in it: the song goes from heavy and dark to ordinary and totally pedestrian in a sentence, which feels absurd. And that’s kind of what it’s like to grieve. That’s kind of what’s hard to explain about grief, how absurd it is. Part of you goes to a different planet and part of you stays walking around like an alien on Earth, going to the bathroom and looking at the moon and shit." [via Stereogum]

As JUNO-nominated singer Kandle Osborne prepares to launch her new project, Set The Fire this spring, she shares the album’s third single, 'Misty Morning.' From being penned on a napkin while abroad to a Vancouver studio, 'Misty Morning' is a sonic journey that echoes soulful vulnerability and an honest reflection of realizing true love. For the video, Kandle reconnects with 'Honey Trap' director, Brandon William Fletcher, to create classic 40s noir-inspired cine-magic, filmed along the Vancouver coastline and within the lush landscape of Stanley Park. Kandle says: “‘Misty Morning’ is my first real love song, captured on a napkin while in Ischia, Italy when I was truly happy. My songwriting usually comes from a place of turmoil and catharsis, but this was simply a snapshot of a perfect, vulnerable moment. In recording it, I wanted to hide behind lush orchestration, but my producer/ best friend Michael Rendall had other ideas. He wanted to strip it down to just piano & a single vocal to take me out of my comfort zone and re-capture the open-hearted feelings I had while writing it. The song and the recording both hold for me a time when I dropped my guard for pure authentic love in spite of all my flaws and failures. In that moment, I felt my true value as a whole person for the first time.”

On 'Vertigo,' Alice Merton’s first single of 2021, the 27-year-old describes the long road from uncertainty back to self-confidence. It emphasizes the unrest that seizes her again and again, the thought: “Why can’t I just let it go?” These contradicting thoughts and emotions that are so familiar to all of us sum up to an overwhelmingly positive effect - 'Vertigo' leaves you empowered rather than anxious: A powerful indie pop arrangement with distorted guitars, plus Alice Merton’s crystal-clear voice. The result is reminiscent of the British Invasion, with no air of self-doubt. With its energetic live qualities, 'Vertigo' feeds an appetite for summer festivals and concerts that will definitely return at some point. Largely responsible for this is the Canadian producer Koz, a multiple Grammy nominee, who has worked with Dua Lipa ('Physical') among others. Here, too, he adds on to what has already made Alice Merton stand out from the crowd in the past - her classic pop appeal - with an uncompromising and indie attitude. This enables Alice to take another big step: She equally encourages a shaken generation and herself that there will be easy summers again. That you can dance again and lie in each other's arms. That it is absolutely fine to have many facets, to not always be clear, and that strength and weakness are not mutually exclusive.

Canadian artist Olivia Lunny's new release 'Sad To See You Happy' is a shamelessly poppy track centering an acutely relatable break-up narrative. The Canadian artist follows up her breakthrough success with a bouncy cut to soundtrack 2021’s long-awaited spring. There's a relatable tale of break-up at the heart of the gloriously poppy new single, belied by percussive instrumentation that creates a warm, nostalgic feel. [via Line Of Best Fit]

After sharing the single last month, Charlotte Adigéry is now revealing the brand new video for ‘Bear With Me (and I’ll stand bare before you)’. The first new music since her 2019 debut EP Zandoli, Charlotte says of the video, “The video is about being confined thus confronted to the way we live. The cruel irony of having the privilege of standing still, questioning and observing my life in all safety while others are fighting for theirs. On the other hand, the video is about trying to stay sane while feeling that the walls are closing in on you. Embracing boredom and finding joy in the little things in life.” Director Alice Kunisue adds, “When I listened to Charlotte’s song and what it meant for her and Bolis, I wanted the video to visually encapsulate that feeling of being stuck inside and confronted to our deeper selves while paradoxically sensing the chaos going on in the outside world without being able to do anything about it. Choosing to film an apartment room from one single angle was a way to reflect that narrowness of thought that we all experienced, but also a constraint that allowed us to explore and develop visual ideas within a narrow system, in a way having to think only inside the box, which artistically was a fun challenge.” [via DIY]

Millie Turner has shared a video for ‘Concrete Tragedy’. It’s a cut from her upcoming mini-album Eye Of The Storm, set for release on May 16, which also features a rework of breakout song ‘(Breathe) Underwater’. “This video is a visual representation of dancing on your own,” she says of the clip. “Combining the many parts of who we are when we’re by ourselves, I wanted it to feel like you’re entering a world of imagination that comes alive when we express ourselves.” [via Dork]

Doja Cat and SZA have come together for a new single called 'Kiss Me More.' When the song was announced Wednesday night, the internet flipped out, which is to be expected with these two — especially Doja Cat, who is regularly going viral these days for all kinds of reasons. When it comes to collaborations, she always finds the best people. That includes Saweetie, who appeared on Doja’s recent 'Best Friend' but then claimed that it was released against her wishes. Given SZA’s long history of public frustration over TDE Records holding back her new album, she is probably happy to have any new music out. Despite recent single 'Good Days' hitting the top 10, her restless fanbase is still awaiting a follow-up to 2017’s iconic Ctrl. 'Kiss Me More' is the first single from Doja’s new album Planet Her, scheduled for release this summer. It returns to the disco vibes of Doja’s #1 hit 'Say So,' this time with no apparent resemblance to any Skylar Spence song. [via Stereogum]

[yououghtaknow]

skam brighton season 5 music analysis

hello :) i’ve gone through all the songs on previous seasons of skam brighton and explained why i used them and i thought i would do it for season 5 now that it’s over.

tw for disucssion of addiction, racism, pedophilia, transphobia and homophobia

trailer

we begin with a bang with “don’t blame me” by taylor swift. now it has been said about me that i am a swiftie and it is true. and nick braxton is a reputation era bitch. this song has quite literally it all for nick’s character - we got christian themes, reference to drug addiction and an unhealthy devotion to someone. this trailer has gone through many songs to find the perfect one, but i decided on this one because of the themes, and also because of the line “they say she’s gone too far this time” - which, in regards to nick, can be read in many ways. we got the nick going “too far” with his love for james in subtly trying to break liz and james up, nick and their drug addiction, and nick and their relationship with their gender identity - going too far in both the masculine and feminine directions. also it bangs your honour.

episode one

we!! begin!! with!! saturday night’s alright for fighting by sir elton john!!! because it is saturday night and, as we’vee seen, nick isn’t afraid to get into a fight or two. this song specifically was chosen because of the movie rocketman, which i drew a lot of inspiration from, with the themes of drug addiction and sexuality. also, once again, it simply slaps.

we then get “ymca” by the village people playing in the background over the rest of the party scene. i chose this song because it is a very stereotypically gay song, and a lot of what i wanted nick to deal with was self-perception in regards to stereotypes. he is very stereotypically flamboyant because it’s both the way he is and a defensive mechanism - leading to his bisexuality being erased and being seen as gay a lot of the time. he ‘s pretty much the opposite in regards to his asian identity, with him not being academically intelligent and outspoken and being very british in their speaking patterns. it’s about the balance and duality and all that stuff. 

then, as we are formally introduced to nick’s devotion to james, we get “where dreams go to die” by john grant. thank you to my friend katya for recommeding this song as a nick song because it is just. crazy. every line makes me want to scream. especially “this is like a well-oiled machine / could i please see that smile again? / it's all that makes me feel like i am living in this world”. like that just shows the extent of nick’s love - because sometimes you’re just in love with the idea of being saved rather than seeking help. is that poetic or am i just pretentiously talking about my trauma? who knows.

we then get “overprotected” by britney spears - because britney has been a nick staple the whole series. i first heard the song in the musical & juliet and i was immediately like “oh nick core”. the song opens with: “ i need time (time) / love (love), joy (joy) / i need space (love) / i need me (action!) / say hello to the girl that i am / you're gonna have to see through my perspective”. because we are literally seeing from nick’s perspective. i also wanted to introduce the gender dynamics early - including in the trailer, where nick refers to themself with she/her pronouns - and her nick is referred to in the text of the song as a girl. it’s also a very sad song about not having any control over your life with a fun pop backing track, which is very nick braxton.

we then get another party scene, that opens with “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” (by ariana grande) covered by sam fender. i chose this song because 1) i love the cover and 2) god is it a nick song. literally nick has so many wants (to be loved by their family, to get sober, to succeed in school, to explore their gender freely) but he focuses on wanting james and wanting james to leave liz because there are less achievable and thus safer. also the song fucking slaps.

we close with “happy little pill” by troye sivan, a mlm classic. a staple of 2014. i chose this song because 1) drug in title, easy get, and 2) it’s actually a really good song???? it’s about the dissociation. it’s very similar to the scene with bree in season 4 episode 1 where “chandelier” plays as she’s clearly not doing well but she’s pretending for the sake of her friends. nick and bree are narrative foils and i love them.

episode two

the first song of episode 2 is “be great” by lolandre and jeremy pope after we see nick and his dad’s dynamic for the first time. and it’s really something huh. it’s about how christian does want nick to be great, but christian has a very narrow idea of what success and happiness looks like.

the next bit of media we get in this episode is nick watching the first episode of euphoria. when preparing to write various seasons of skam brighton, i watched a lot of teen dramas to get a good feel for the vibe i was going for. euphoria was one of them and it’s a show i have a lot of mixed feelings for - i think it’s very well crafted and extremely interesting but i also do have issues with the sexualisation of teenagers on screen, even if it is mostly realistic. i chose this scene specifically because nick and rue are very similar characters, in regards to their relationships with their parents (i believe nick is more of a jules kinnie but more on that later). they both just want to be a good kid and make them happy, but they can never seem to do it. gia, rue’s younger sister, is also a parallel to nick’s brothers.

we then get “old eden” by honeywater which is just simply a song i like very much that had the vibes of the scene. also the lines “i want love / but i don't just want love, i want you / i see the beach house, your sweet mouth / but the terrible news / is that love is not how it seems on the screen / yeah, real love has problems / but it's what's in-between that's the best” is simply just nick braxton huh. ambiguous disorder.

we then get “generation why” by conan gray as nick storms out of their house after a fight with their parents. i chose it very simply for the vibes because i only listened to this song once and thought “i do not wish to listen to this in my free time but it is a nick braxton time”. it’s just the angsty indie pop main character walking down the street vibes.

we!!! end!!! with!!! a song i love very much - “sex drive” by austin mckenzie of dwsa fame. this song plays over nick getting “rejected” by james and resorting to grindr to feed their want for human affection - which is where the parallels to ms jules euphoria come from. i chose this song specifically because it begins with the lines “who’s driving?” on repeat, which calls into question who is in control in the scenario. as seen on screen, nick is the one who initiates the “date” but, at the end of the day, nick is an underage teenager and the person he’s on a date with is an adult man. also the song is simply a fun bisexual time.

episode three

we open with “hurricane drunk” by florence and the machine, a song that has been decidedly nick core since 2018. like “i’m in the grip of a hurricane / i’m going to blow myself away”...... nick braxton you crazy little person

“yours” by greyson chance plays over nick and james driving out to the woods to skip school together….. it is quite insane. “no matter who i'm with, it's you that i adore / if you're not sure / baby, i'm yours” like i scream and shout nick braxton has always been in love with the concept of james cohen

“myrtle ave.” by mxmtoon plays as nick is feeling isolated from his friends…. like they just vibe with the song and the lyrics so hard. nick is just. i have no words other than i love them.

we close with “st jimmy” by green day because. goddammit isn’t he. like james just comes out as bisexual (just like st jimmy in american idiot the broadway musical) and nick is like “you are like a saint to me, i worship you, i will do anything for you”. like it’s a song about drug addiction but it’s also about being bisexual but it’s also about the performance of masculinity and the performance of being a “rebel” that james and nick both do i love them so much.

episode four

we begin with “lucy in the sky with diamonds” by the beatles. i do not listen to the beatles but i think the song is about drugs and the beatles is a james cohen band in canon so it has the connotations babey.

we then get “seventeen” by troye sivan as nick goes on grindr to seek out adult men. it’s genuinely such a nick song - once again, the fun poppy music in the background and the deeply upsetting lyrics. also, as in season 4, i chose this song to emphasise the fact that nick is seventeen and a minor and should not be doing these activities.

we then get “dancing on my own” by robyn as we’re at the vaguely halloween-esque party. it’s once again about the boppy music and sad lyrics and like. nick voice i’m in the corner watching you kiss her ohhhhhh i’m right over here why can’t you see me ohhhhhhh i’m giving it my all but i’m not the guy you’re taking home ooooh i keep dancing on my own. like he’s fucking insane (he is both me and nick)

and then!!!! we get a scene very personal to me. nick watching rocky horror for the first time at a shadowcast showing and watching “the time warp”. i first saw rocky horror when i was about 10/11 because i saw it on glee and wanted to watch the real movie and it made me so so transgender and homosexual. it is such a non-binary little movie and the time warp is just an absolute bop. 

it’s followed by a brief showing of “sweet transvestite” because tim curry in that movie is such an experience for anyone involved. like oh to be gender questioning nick braxton and to see that. what a fucking experience. and also to be gender questioning 11 year old me and to see that and then find out my school is doing a kidz bop version of rocky horror. fucking insane transgender times.

we close with “cecily smith” by will connolly as milo and nick walk home together because. it is just such a sweet song. like life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with. and it is a very nickmilo song and i am the president of nickmilo nation. i love a non-binary romance i do i do i do.

episode five

we open with “halloween” by phoebe bridgers because it is literally halloween. insane. but it is also such a nick braxton song like come on man we can be anything…… nick braxton voice i’ll be whatever you want…… it’s about the people pleasing and the desire to be wanted and needed loved and goodness gracious. also nick braxton fig faeth kinnie for this song specifically.

and then!!!!! we get nick dramatically singing “girl crush” by the harry styles version in his bathroom mirror. because goddammit they do have a girl crush. it’s about the gender and the desire to both be with james and to be liz becausenick is non-binary babey……..

and then!!!!! in such a parallel!!!!! we get milo singing “inner white girl” from a strange loop on their instagram live. “a strange loop” was a big inspiration for this season, with very similar themes fo it (you should listen to it right now) and this song….. quite genuinely we have nick singing a song about wanting to be a white girl and then they hear this song….. like nick does cling to his inner white girl as a way of staying safe - they cling to the safe idea of mlm flamboyancy and humour to hide from their genuine emotions and gender……. like it is insane to me. also white girls can do anything can’t they!!!!!!!

we then get “the people who raised me” by gregory and the hawks after nick has a fight with their parents…. “but i won't mind no time spent to save me / just trying to be good to the people who raised me” literally nick is trying his best to be good but he can’t be and that makes him angry!!!!!! but that anger is born out of a deep, deep sadness that nick has no emotional language to express, but anger is a language he can speak and it is. insane. like it’s about masculinity, it’s about femininity, it’s about everything. fuck. 

we then get "search your heart" by george feeny as nick sadly vibes at school…. also this scene does parallel with the liz/mary scene in season 2 where their parents fight. like liz is shitty to her friends but stays for her sister and nick is great to his friends but leaves his brothers behind….. the range.

and then!!!! we get phoebe bridgers’ cover of “friday i’m in love” because it is friday and nick is in love huh.

and then!!!!!!!!!! a moment i have been building up to!!!!! we get “back to black” by ms amy winehouse after nick finds out james has a crush on alistair thee fletcher. and just like. god. this song has everything for nick. it’s a song about depression, addiction, leaving your lover, anger, bitterness, second choice ness….. and also he is literally going back to black with his hair colour!!!!! because he thinks being more masculine is what will make people love him and he views pink hair as un-masculine!!!!! and he’s also going back to his family, so he’s going back to trying to hide himself to fit into their expectations….. like god it is an insane little time.

episode six 

we open with “idk if i’m a boy” by blue foster - a song i got on my discover weekly and it was a deeply personal attack. like nick voice i don’t know if i’m a reject i don’t know if i’m a loser but i know that i’ve been feeling feminine since i’ve been teething…. and how the song uses humour as a way to cope with gender dysphoria like it’s nick bay bee.

we then get “green light” by lorde because god it is such a james/nick song i feel insane. like “did it frighten you / how we kissed when we danced on the light up floor?” because james and nick have canonically kissed many times before….. also lorde as an artist just has such intense nick vibes it’s so much fun

we then get "fluorescent adolescent" by arctic monkeys over a party scene because i’ve been told on the internet that it is a british teen party classic. unfortunately the rowdiest party i’ve ever been to is my cousin’s christening so i do not know if it is factual, but it does slap. 

we then get vérité’s cover of somebody else by the 1975 because i just simply prefer this version. but like. oh nick braxton. oh it’s about the rori and the james and the nick being afraid of being open and committing to someone but still wanting to feel the sense of being wanted by someone and being the sole person they want….. literally it is very crazy.

and then we end with “sugar we’re going down” by fall out boy!!!!! like it it such a good song nick voice am i more than you bargained for yet!!! i’ve been dying to tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear!!!! because that’s just who i am this week!!!!! like it fits so well with his character but also it is so funny that sugar we’re going down plays as they faint at the party……. i am a comedian sometimes.

episode seven

the first song we get in this ep is “demi moore” by phoebe bridgers as nick is detoxing in the hospital. like quite genuinely “i don’t wanna be stoned anymore!!!!!!!!” they don’t want to be alone anymore!!!!!!!!!

then we get “bite the hand” by boygenius. just. like. “i can’t love you the way you want me to” is just. such a statement for nick’s season. like he can’t love james the way james wants to be loved by nick, they can’t love their parents, their parents can’t love them…… it’s all about learning how to love in a way that is felt by all parties involved in the relationship be it romantic, platonic, familial or otherwise. like. it’s so insane it’s all about love

and then we get “relay” by fiona apple - which was a contender for the trailer song at some point. like nick @ alistair is very “i resent you for being raised right etc.” because he knows liz is fucked up and has flaws, he’s seen them, but alistair is easy to project all of his hatred onto. also just like evil is a relay sport thank you ms apple.

we then get “girls just wanna have fun” by cyndi lauper and “dancing queen” and “mamma mia” by abba sung at the lgbt youth club karaoke night because. i mean of course they are. also they are very fun gender songs and i enjoy them :)

and then. my friends. the moment you’ve been waiting for. nick braxton singing alanis morrissette’s “you oughta know”. now this is gonna be a long one.

the you oughta know analysis

first things first, i got the jagged little pill broadway behind the scenes book for christmas and there’s a whole chapter about you oughta know being a song about the queer struggle of being unseen and unheard and i feel so validated like that is exactly what the song is about.

but for nick. oh baby. it is them singing to james, to rori, to al, to liz, to bree, to his parents, to his teachers, to everyone who perceives them wrong. it’s their moment of standing up and saying i am angry and i am serious about this and i deserve to be listened to as a young person. i will now give an in depth analysis of every line i want to.

“the perfect version of me” - bree and nick have had so many parallels throughout the series, which bree can be described as a “better” version of nick. they’re in therapy, she’s taking care of herself, they’re bisexual and it’s accepted by everyone, she’s a good partner to rori, she has parents who love her, and she can be gender non-conforming in a safe way. but this line also applies to al - because nick and al have also been compared this season, with al talking about how he’s comfortable with his femininity and james liking al, who, despite claiming to be more feminine, is still more traditionally masculine than nick. al, bree and liz are all very academically smart. they are all very creatively gifted. liz doesn’t struggle for money. nick, in their mind, compared to all of these people, is a failure.

“so she speaks eloquently / and she could have your baby / i'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother” - this applied to both liz and bree, who both try to be seen as very eloquent speakers, and who are both afab, so therefore can have james’s baby - something nick wouldn’t be able to do. but we have seen in liz and bree’s seasons that they both have sexual trauma, and bree especially is uncomfortable with having children. it’s nick having this idea of womanhood and femininity being something so unattainable and required for james - that it kind of segways into al. because al is also assigned female at birth and could, as he is pre-t, hypothetically have a child, which is playing into some transphobic notions, but nick sees al as both more feminine and more masculine than him - making al just perfect for james.

“and every time you speak his name / does he know why you told me / you'd be there until you died / 'til you died, but you're still alive” - nick changes to he pronouns here, now directly talking about al. we’ve seen james flirting with nick and we know they’ve kissed in the past, and james and nick are incredibly close friends. but james still, in nick’s mind at this point, chose al over him.

“it was a slap in the face / how quickly i was replaced / and are you thinking of me when she fucks you?” - the conversation about how all the skam brighton characters relate to the line between sex and love is so interesting to me. it is also the reason i do not allow my parents to read this show. but anyways - nick does feel so genuinely replaced by everyone in his life, like there’s always a newer, better version waiting just around the corner. what nick doesn’t know is that that is how everyone else around him feels as well. and the line “are you thinking of me when she fucks you” is such a pointed line because it’s not a line of confidence or a joke. nick knows that no one thinks about them like that because they feel repulsive but try to play it off as a joke.

then we get the “i” section, which is, in the script, more “ayes” and “nahs”, but i wanted to change it to be the word “i” specifically because so much of the season is nick existing for other people. for their parents, for their friends, for their clients, for james. in this moment, they are choosing themself. they are standing up and saying “what i feel is important and i fucking matter”

“'cause the joke that you laid in the bed, that was me / and i'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes / and you know it” - because nick’s sexuality and nick as a romantic partner is treated as such a joke throughout the show’s run, and james has been trying to turn every time he kissed nick into a joke that will go away, but it’s not going to go away because nick remembers it. even if james tries to deny his sexuality to nick’s face, nick is always going to remember that james was, at some point, attracted to men enough to kiss him.

“and every time i scratch my nails / down someone else's back, i hope you feel it / well, can you feel it?” - every time nick has sought out sex with strangers it’s because they feel rejected and insecure in themself. they seek out this sexual validation as a way to feed their want to be loved and noticed by people and he wants james and rori to feel hurt by it - he wants to have the power, he wants to have the control.

“and i’m here” - this line is just. so powerful to me. because it’s a line of defeat - after all this time, nick’s ended up at some crappy youth group with his little brother babysitting him, and he’s been dumped and cheated on and overdosed and everything is so awful. but then it becomes a line of celebration. of “yeah, all that shit happened to me, but i’m still here, i’m still standing, and no one can take away the fact that i am here and i am alive and i deserve to be respected” - something milo taught them when they talked about their tattoo 

“to remind you of the mess you left when you went away” - nick himself is the mess they all left - because they feel so abandoned and alone and like they are just a mess to be discarded, but he’s here to remind everyone that he’s here. it’s a call for help.

“it's not fair, to deny me / of the cross i bear that you gave to me” - this line i always saw as directed at his parents - they gave him this cross of being the perfect eldest sibling that ended up crushing him, and they deny that it ever happened. but nick knows it did. the same way he knows james like guys. the same way he knows rori didn’t like only him. the same way he’s been denying himself of the cross he bears of being non-binary, the cross of being an addict, the cross of being a mentally ill neurodivergent person. this song is him finally letting go of that denial.

“you oughta know” - he’s talking to everyone with that line. everyone should know about his pain, about his emotions, about what he’s gone through, because he’s kept it so bottled up for years. it’s not fair for him not to share it because he deserve to.

they don’t call me isaac tumblr user yououghtaknowmp3 for nothing.

episode eight

we open with “seven” by taylor swift as nick reads a letter they wrote to their younger self. like. “i used to scream ferociously any time i wanted” is such a line about being neurodivergent as a child and then being forced to mask as you grow up….. also the bridge is just james and nick core…. you should come live with me and we could be pirates…..

we then get “nonbinary” by arca because i feel like at this point nick would be trying to listen to more nonbinary artists because they want to see themself reflected rather than running from it!!!!

we then get “heather” by conan gray as nick and liz accidentally meet at the local mentally ill teen zone. because i am just fucking crazy like that. and yes, i chose that song before it got big on tiktok. but i think it’s funnier because it is a famous song.

we then get “falling” by harry styles as nick is being emo in their bedroom because nick is just the type of person who will dramatically listen to harry styles in their bedroom whilst being sad. it also completes the full circle of sad taylor swift to sad harry styles, but with no vehicular manslaughter.

we then get “400 lux” by lorde after james and nick have their big conversation because like it is just a them song. like you buy me orange juice. it’s also about the james/nick having a gansey/ronan dynamic in the way that nick is devotedly in love with him and james is just being homoerotic for the jokes. but not most other ways. honestly i haven’t thought about the skam brighton versions of these characters in trc….. many thoughts head full

episode nine

we open with “pink rabbits” by the national as nick redyes their hair back to pink. and i’ll be honest. i only chose this song because it has pink in the title. but it does still vibe with nick though.

we then get “be your own 3am” by adult mom as nick is dealing with some bad cravings. it’s just a very pretty song for listening to alone at night in your bed in that weird space between sleep and awake. i love it.

we then get “i am not a robot” by marina as nick walks down the street because nick is a marina bitch!!!!!!! and “you've been acting awful tough lately / smoking a lot of cigarettes lately / but inside, you're just a little baby / it's okay to say you've got a weak spot” is such a nick @ james line it makes me insane

also rich’s entire character and backstory is directly lifted from skins gen 3 because i am niche and make content just for me

we then end with “rager teenager!” by troye sivan because i have listened to that song exactly once, decided it had nick vibes, and just stuck it in an episode somewhere.

episode ten

we open with “strange torpedo” by lucy dacus because it is just. such a nick song. it is insane. i am insane. like it is about nick wanting someone but not being sure who or what it is because he just wants to be loved and discovers that sometimes being liked is better than being loved…….

we then get “used to you” by mxmtoon and like….. “tell me what i can say / and i can say it / tell me what i can do / and i can do my best / tell me who i should be / and i can change it” is such a nick early s5 lyric…… and how the song is kind of a love song but the line “now i’m just kind of used to you” is very nick about his feelings towards james

we then get “gay street fighter” by keiynan lonsdale as milo gets their sexy slow mo that all of the love interests get at some point. they deserve it.

and then “to be alone with you” by sufjan stevens plays as milo and nick have their first kiss in the pool because i always wanted to include that scene and thought “hey here is good”. and like. they are alone with each other a lot and they like spending time with each other….. they are friends, they are teens, they are falling in love a little <3

we then get “creep” by lena hall as nick has a little gender moment at school. lena hall played yitzhak in the broadway revival of hedwig and the angry inch and she just has so much gender. creep has always been a nick song and this cover just…. it’s them. 

we then get some ambient guitar music during the nick/rori scene and i chose some songs from “your city gave me asthma” by wilbur soot because it is a fucking great album and nick is canonically a mcyt stan so i simply had to. we end with “your new boyfriend”, which is a funnier, happier wilbur soot song and it is simply a fun time.

episode eleven

we open with “gender is boring” by she/her/hers which is just an absolute banger. like “gender never really meant that much to me / til' people started telling me how it was supposed to be” is such a great line and it is very nick braxton because. like. it’s just gender babey everything is about gender except for gender which is about having fun.

“dorothea” by taylor swift plays as james and nick have their final big scene together and like. it is such a homoerotic and fun song i love it so much thank you taylor friend of the show swift. “and if you're ever tired of being known / for who you know / you know, you'll always know me” is just……. god.

we then get “i do (end credits)” by kevin abstract as we open on the final scene of the season because a) it has end credits in the title and b) it is just another song i think nick would enjoy listening to.

we then get “they/them/theirs” by worriers as we get another little party montage because it’s a vibe time and like. i do love a they/them pronoun moment. it’s a very good and fun pronoun to use.

and finally we get “prelude” from next to normal as al comes in late to the party and awkwardly stands at the back. i chose this song because. well. you’ll see :)

thank you for reading my analysis that no one asked for, i just love having fun and talking about my silly little show :)

[ontherockswithsalt]

A Made Man

/1/ /2/ /3/ /4/ /5/ /6/ /7/ /8/ /9/ /10/ /11/ /12/ /13/ /14/ /15/ /16/ /17/ /18/ /19/ /20/ /21/ /22/ /23/ /24/ /25/ /26/ /27/ /28/ /29/ /30/ /31/ /32/ /33/ /34/ /35/

A/N: Please understand that this has been my vision for how karaoke night would unfold with this group forevveerrrrr so I’m excited we’re here. Nobody puts Bella in the corner mmkay? Oh and it gets a little suggestive so y’all know what we’re in for soon.

Chapter 36.

"So what about them?" Ben questions while we all witness Vinny and Bianca make their way to the karaoke microphones. "How long have they been together?"

"They're not," I tell him. "They just met tonight."

Ben gasps, eyes flying wider as he looks at us. "Shut up. I love that. I'm so glad this is happening."

We’ve stood up from our stools at this point, gathered behind our table for an optimum view.

Vinny receives his shot from the bartender, lifting it appreciatively to our table and tosses it back. Then he hands the empty glass off to the deejay and smacks his own chest with his palm as he gets the booze down.

Noble nudges my arm and chuckles in amusement. "Watch, watch."

The TV screens around the bar always display the upcoming song just before it starts and we glance up to see (I've Had) The Time Of My Life roll across the screen in fuzzy, bright purple text.

Vinny studies the monitor in front of him, furrows his brow, then looks out at us, confused.

The three of us all blow out a hard laugh while the rest of the bar is already excited, hooting appreciative cheers.

"Yes!" Bianca tips her head back and grasps Vinny's arm. "You know this one," we hear her assure him. "Dirty Dancing."

"Oh shit," he groans in realization.

"Look, the parts you sing are in green--" Bianca instructs, pointing to the screen. "Be ready, it starts quick."

Now I-- The song begins and Vinny glances around at the unexpected start and Bianca pushes against his shoulder to prompt him.

"... the time of my life--" He hesitates, edging closer to the microphone.

As soon as Vinny starts, Noble immediately hollers for him, clapping loud and triggering the crowd around us to scream out for the easily recognizable song.

"Oh my god." I mutter the words and my amazement keeps both my eyes and my mouth from closing while I watch.

Vinny cautiously sort of mumbles his initial part until Bianca joins in with hers. And when she does, the clear, airy melody actually starts to sound familiar.

Laughing at himself, Vinny drops his head and shakes it when the beat settles in. But it makes everyone around them cheer even more.

Bianca looks out, nodding at them as if to keep it coming for him. Then she goes to work during an instrumental measure, pops Vinny's microphone off the stand and hands it to him before lifting up the stand to move it out of the way. She does the same to her own mic, just in time to return to the screen and point to the new lyrics that roll in.

"This is you," she tells him.

"I've been waiting for so long… now I finally found someone to stand by me…" He tries to get the hang of the phrasing with only an instrumental track to back them.

When Bianca sings her part, it helps even out the tempo. She gestures to the screen again to alert him, "This is both of us--"

"Now with passion in our eyes, there's no way we could disguise it secretly…"

"Okay--" Vinny announces with a nod of confidence that’s starting to take hold the more everyone else around him cheers and joins in with the words. "I got it. I got it now."

"So we take each other's hand, 'cause we seem to understand the urgency…"

“Just remember!”

I smack my grip onto Noble’s arm and seeing this might seriously be how I die. “Holy. Shit, dude.” I’m struggling because I want to crack up but I’m too stunned watching and I can’t believe it’s happening. And Ben on the other side of Noble wailing “YESSS!” in appreciation makes it even funnier.

They fall more in sync as they build to the chorus and Vinny finally begins to relax next to Bianca.

“I’ve never seen a karaoke crowd like this,” Noble observes. “This is fucking hilarious.”

“I’d say we’re pretty rambunctious at our karaoke nights here in general,” Ben shouts over the music. “But this song always brings the house down and I’m loving them so much.”

I have to laugh at the guys gathered in front of Vinny and Bianca, singing along, dancing with one another and so into it.

Bianca starts off the second verse and encourages Vinny when it’s his turn. I’m amused every time he focuses intently on the monitor to follow the lyrics when he’s not entirely sure how to string the words together. And then parts will become more familiar to him, like he’s just saying fuck it and would rather deliver a good performance.

Ben wasn’t kidding about the song being a crowd favorite because when the chorus kicks in the second time, there’s literally a disco ball that lowers from the ceiling, casting colors all across the bar when the lights overhead go dark. The entire room erupts in this wild cheer and even though Vinny and Bianca have the mics, you can hear everyone like a collective chorus.

Because--

I’ve had the time of my life…

I finally notice I’ve been smiling all this time. This entire thing is funny and fucking joyful as hell and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like it. I keep turning to drop my forehead onto Noble’s shoulder to laugh there against him and he does the same to me, gripping hard at my back and pulling me into a hug.

“Oh, my god,” he groans during the lively instrumental break and saxophone solo where everybody’s just dancing. “Dude, I’m fucking pissed this is happening,” he tells me. “He’s gonna win her over with this shit.”

“Oh, I think she’s winning him over,” I suppose. “But yeah, talk about lengths a guy will go to. He’s done it.”

“Yeah, I assure you she’s in love with him,” Noble decides. “Dammit.”

With a thoughtful tilt of my head, I peer out at the stage. “I’m kind of proud of him, though.”  Leaning my back against Noble’s chest, he keeps his arm draped over my shoulder. “I’d hyperventilate before I did something like this, so good for him.”

“How much shit are you gonna give him on Monday?”

“Dude, so much.” I chuckle. “I’ll never forget this for the rest of my life. I hope we’re partners forever and I can tell this story at his retirement party.”

Letting his head fall, Noble cracks up, his drunken laughter tickling the side of my neck. He pushes his face there, then he meets my cheek for a kiss.

Shifting in front of him, I turn my head and lean up to touch my lips to his. My hand grasping his face and into his hair, his grip trailing high along my side, I kiss him long enough to forget all that’s around us, for merely a still moment. Probably nothing to anyone else nearby, but for me it feels significant.

I've kissed him a hundred times but my heart's racing when I slip away. It takes me a second to notice it and I tilt toward him, nudging my head against the edge of his jaw to calm the flaring pulse I can feel between my ears.

Pressing my lips together to force some feeling there, I turn away after a quick, rough squeeze of Noble's hair in my fist. And I don't miss his throaty little grunt when I do. It doesn't matter how many other distractions surround us, he won't pass up a chance to react to a cursory hair tug.

Damn, it just sort of came over me how badly I need to go home with him. But I don't have to tell him when I meet his heavy gaze for a brief moment, then move away and reach for my drink when I remember what I'm supposed to be watching.

"Hey, you have to help me with something," Noble says. He follows in behind me and I feel his hands low on my hips. "Because I'm super horny and I might forget."

I nearly cough out my whiskey when I laugh and turn to face him once again with a narrowed gaze. "Oh yeah? A bar full of cute boys has got you super horny?”

“No.” He grins at me in the glittery darkness as I linger right there against his chest. “Just one. And he’s more fucking hot than cute,” he decides, before he dips his head so his mouth is at my ear. “And irresistible, and sexy as hell and god,” he groans. “I really wanna take him home and suck his dick right now. So forget cute, alright?”

Shit. I’m so buzzed and turned on and the weight of it, of my want for him, just tugs deep and hot inside me. Enough to make me chew on my own lip until I suppress the temptation. It’ll surface again, though, with a little more momentum. “Well damn." I smirk. "Don’t let me keep you from him."

With a nod to the front where Vinny and Bianca close out the last chorus, he proposes, “After this, let’s head out, yeah?”

“What am I supposed to help you with?” I remind him.

He gestures a finger up toward the microphones. "She can't go home with him. I don't know where this is all going to lead tonight. But if we turn our backs and her ass sneaks into a cab with him, I'm calling the cops."

I regard him thoughtfully. "Good plan. The cops'll totally get him."

“I mean it,” he laughs.

“You don’t trust Vinny?”

He lifts defensive shoulders. “I don’t trust… the situation just yet.”

While it’s a bit of a double standard -- Noble thought it was perfectly reasonable to run around with me in the city he’s supposed to avoid and yet he won’t let his sister out of his sight -- I understand.

And really I can’t determine whether Vinny and Bianca even have those intentions with one another. Right now they’re kind of jumping around on the stage while the music begins to fade out. And knowing him, he probably just wants to laugh the whole thing off, say his goodbyes before heading home for the night.

“Let’s hear it for Bella and Vinny!” The deejay announces to another adamant cheer from the crowd around the stage.

The two of them replace their microphones on the stands and deliver a bunch of high fives to everyone there. The idiotic pride I feel swells again and I can’t contain a smile when I clap hard for him as they return to the table.

“Good work, partner.” I laugh.

He slings an arm around me to pull me into a hug and I slap him hard on the back. “I found my true calling,” Vinny decides. “But seriously we’ve gotta get the fuck outta here soon.”

“No encore?” I question, reaching over as Bianca slides under my arm for a hug. I turn to her and pull her in. “Look at the magic you made happen with him.”

“I knew he could do it.” She shrugs.

“I don’t think we could top that.” He looks at her, his brows pulling together. “How many guys have you sung karaoke with?”

Bianca grins. “That’s a personal question.”

“But was I the best?”

She reaches out and pushes her palm flat against the center of his chest. Her head tips back with a laugh. “Oh my god.”

He smiles. “I just wanna know.”

“To be determined,” she gives her coy answer.

I glance over at Noble to see if he’s witnessing this and he shakes his head in disapproval.

“Alright, I’m gonna go settle my tab,” Vinny announces. “Be right back.”

Clearing my throat, I offer Noble a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder before I turn to follow Vinny to the bar. “Yeah, me too.”

[onceuponadetectivedemigod]

The Wedding

Part Three (The reception)

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

@jayrami3

Prompt: 17 and 18

“God you are acting more dramatic than Rog in the man on fire video.”

“Calm down! We are getting married today!”

“Shit! You aren’t supposed to see me! You doomed us!”

The Reception

You and Ben decided to stay in the room you got ready in for a few minutes before joining your friends and family back outside. You both just wanted some piece and quiet for a minute.

"I can't believe I can finally call you my wife." Ben was glowing with love and pride. You were sat on the couch while he was in the bathroom, looking at you through the mirror as he reapplied his aftershave.

"I prefer Mrs. Jones over just wife. Gives it more meaning. Gives me your name." you said smiling. He started to walk over to you and he leaned down and kissed you. He plopped down on the couch next to you and cupped your face with his hands.

"God, you are just so beautiful." he said before he kissed you again.

"Sorry, Mrs. JONES you are so beautiful." he pulled away smiling.

"We should probably go and say hi to our guests. Hear the speeches. You know all the fun jazz. Get piss drunk." you giggled. He stood up and held his hand out for you to grab.

"Shall we then?" he smiled.

"Then, we shall." you spoke dramatically.

You started out towards the door. He laced your hand in his as you opened the door and headed downstairs. Everyone was outside and it looked like Joe and Jonathan were doing some weird dance routine. You opened the door and everyone started clapping.

You walked over to your table next to your bridesmaids and his groomsmen. You sat down in the middle next to him. Joe picked up the microphone.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Jones Hardy everyone!" everyone started clapping again. Jonathan also grabbed a microphone and you knew this was about to embarrass both of you.

"So as you all know, Ben has been my best friend since we were in 2nd grade. So now that he is finally here, looking at Y/N, I am here to say I have been preparing this speech since 2nd grade and Joe is going to help me." Jonathan started.

"GOOD GOD PLEASE DON'T." Ben shouted at him.

"Too late mate, I'm doing it." Jonathan spoke.

"So in second grade, it was the second week of school, I had just moved and was new, Ben decided to come up to me and I thought, GOOD A FRIEND TO MAKE, but no. He slapped me. He grabbed my pencil and walked away. And I just stood there with my mouth open in shock. What I'm trying to say Y/N, is when he met you, he didn't slap you or steal your pencil so BEN WHAT THE FUCK?" Jonathan looked at you and at Ben.

"Anyway after day we became friends because I figured keep friends close and enemies closer but I actually fell for him, in the friend way. You, Y/N, I remember him telling me you literally fell for him. Off a 3 step ladder. Luckily he was there you catch you. But when I jumped off a house and broke my leg, he just laughed." He continued.

"I also remember in high school Ben could've gotten any girl he wanted. But he never did. He said 'I want to wait for a girl who truly falls for me. Not one who has some little crush.' Well you really did. Hard. I heard you twisted your ankle. Did it hurt? When you fell into his arms? I wouldn't know, Ben never caught me."

"THAT'S A BLOODY LIE AND YOU KNOW IT!" Ben shouted.

"Okay fine. He caught... Up to me when we would race around the block. I remember the day he met you Y/N. He spoke about how funny it was when you fell but he said you had the most beautiful eyes. Then when he walked into your work just to see if he could catch you again. He asked your number and then immediately called me. He took you to dinner and told me 'That was the worst first date I've ever been on. She probably hates me. But I really like her.' Then you called him, asked him when the next day he was free was. I saw him go from sad and fearful to the happiest he'd ever been. Up until that point of course. I think seeing him cry like a baby today beats that."

"I thought he was crying because he knew that he had blown it with me." Joe chimed in.

"ANYWAY. Y/N What we are saying is if you would like to return him. You are gonna need a receipt, and I dont think the marriage license counts, so instead I printed a picture of his texts to me about when he stalked you at your job." He grabbed a picture off the table next to him and sat it down in front of you. You read it, laughed, and thanked him. Now it was Joe's turn.

"Okay, I haven't known Ben nearly as long as he has or even as long as Y/N. But I do know that He loves her. I know that he loves me, gwyl, and Rami more. But he does love her, Despite how it may seem in the media. I remember it was one of our first weeks on set and Y/N came to see us. We were all gathered, the cast, Y/N, and Queen. And I remember we did karaoke and he sang Faithfully by Journey to her. So, because I'm an actor, I'm going to recreate the faces I made that night." Joe started making faces at Y/N. They were mostly disgusted faces and also him sticking his tongue at Y/N.

"Then I sang him Purple Rain by Prince and somehow I won his affections for a few minutes, but Ben, Since you decided my love isn't enough for you anymore, I brought a date with me tonight."

"No. Joe... Please don't pull out-" Ben started. Joe pulled out Cardboard Ben from behind the stage.

"CARDBOARD BEN. AND YES HE CAN DIP ME BETTER THAN YOU CAN. GOODNIGHT!" Joe screamed as he grabbed onto cardboard Ben harder and went to sit down

Lucy, your sister, and your best friend got up.

"please no." you whispered.

"So instead of a speech we prepared a song." Your sister started.

"A song, that defines the essence of their relationship." your best friend said next.

"And her favorite song as well." Lucy said.

"NO!" you shouted.

"YES." Ben shouted.

The music started and it was too late. All three of them walked up to Ben as started singing Wannabe by the Spice Girls.

After they were done. You both stood up, and made your way towards the cake.

"Ben, I swear I will let you shove the cake in my face on video once we get home, but I have makeup on right now and I swear on everything you better not." you told him seriously.

"You should do it, man." Roger came up and patted him on the back.

"He will get you both killed. Try me." you said looking Roger in the eye.

"Okay, but you have to promise that there will be a video." Ben spoke up.

"I promise." you both cut the cake and fed eachother each a piece. You started to make your way to the dance floor.

"Any requests?" Roger said next to Brian and Adam Lambert.

"You guys are guests you don't have to play." you told them.

"Nonsense. We wanna play your first dance song. We will join the party after that one." Brian smiled.

"Well then, Faithfully by Journey. You know our song." Ben said.

The rock stars made their way up to the stage when a curtain fell and revealed a drum kit, gitaur, and mic stand. Everyone started to cheer and they started the song.

You pulled Ben close and started to slow dance as he sang the lyrics in your ear. You could have stayed in this moment for forever. This was your favorite part besides the I do's. Because even though there were so many people watching you, it was just you and him. You were both so caught up in the moment of just the two of you, that the building could have burned down next to you and you wouldn't have noticed or cared. You were just focused on eachother. All that mattered was you and him in that moment.

[altessah]

Accidents Happen -- Chapter 10

Hey all! So it’s been another year, but I got back around to this fic.

It’s a mortal au where Nico has to deal with his feelings for Percy after Bianca’s death, when he returns to a public high school after being homeschooled. Then he meets Will and joins his band as a guitarist. Cue more feelings. Sorry to be so late on the update! AO3

“You look like death,” Will remarked on Friday afternoon as he jumped up Nico’s front stoop and breezed through the door. Autumn was beginning to settle in the trees, and a few dead leaves trailed after him as he hurried inside.

“Thanks,” Nico mumbled, following Will towards the basement. He could hear Connor and Travis tittering around on their respective instruments from upstairs.

“What’s up, man?” Will asked, a hint of concern in his voice. He was standing in front of the stairwell, purposefully blocking the way.

“Nothing,” Nico replied unconvincingly.

Will just raised an eyebrow and didn’t move.

Nico sighed. “Ugh, okay fine. I’m just… nervous about the gig. That’s all.”

Will looked skeptical at first, but seemed to decide to believe him. “Of course. I forgot you’ve never performed in front of a crowd before.”

“Yeah,” Nico replied, keeping his eyes downcast.

“Hey, it’s okay, man,” Will insisted, patting his shoulder with only a slight awkwardness. “You’re gonna do great. You’re an awesome guitarist.” He smiled cheesily.

“Thanks.”

With a pat on the shoulder, Will turned on his heel and hurried down the stairs.

The moment that Nico’s foot hit the last stair, the Stolls grabbed him by the arms and practically threw him to the ground, knocking his head on the floor in the process.

“Ow – Connor, what the hell?”

“WE”VE GOT HIM PINNED, SOLACE!”

“IT’S NOW OR NEVER, BUDDY!”

“WE CAN’T HOLD THE BEAST BACK MUCH LONGER!”

Will looked perplexed for half a second, and then he sighed. “Ahh. I forgot about this.”

“What? Will, what’s going on?” Nico strained to pull his arms out of Connor’s grasp, but the man had him thoroughly pinned. As if reading Nico’s mind, Travis sat on his feet.

Will offered a dramatic sigh. “You see, I got the text in third period. I somehow forgot.”

“Forgot what?” Nico demanded.

Shaking his head with intense solemnity, Will took out his phone, pulled something up, and then displayed it to Nico, whose eyes took a second to focus on the text message.

KATIE GARDNER SAID YES TO ME, BITCHEZ!!

Awww yeah now willy has to lick nico’s face!

Nooooo omg

His cheeks tinted slightly pink, Will put his phone back in his pocket and sighed. “Here goes nothing.”

As Nico struggled to pull out of Connor’s death grip, Will cracked all his knuckles and then his neck.

“Did you guys seriously mean that? Because I definitely do not remember you shaking on it. And let’s be real, if there’s not a handshake, then the bet didn’t happen. I don’t think that—”

Nico was interrupted by Will’s tongue sliding slowly across his cheek. He closed his eyes.

“You see? Easy.” Connor stood up and brushed his hands on his jeans. “Shall we practice?”

Travis stood up next, grinning ear-to-ear. “It’s been a good day.”

Will looked at the Stolls and sighed, before making uncomfortable eye contact with Nico. He offered him a hand. “Let’s practice, man. Also, you need to shave.”

Nico got up on his own and could not even let out a squeak.

As they played through the setlist, Nico found himself surprised at how good they sounded. While their first practices had mainly consisted of Nico being lost, Connor correcting Will’s pitch, and Travis trying to add cowbell to literally everything, the four of them had really pulled things together nicely. Nico’s fingers found the right chords without him needing to think about it, and Travis’s solos lasted the exact counts he was allotted—not twelve extra measures. Even Will seemed a lot more confident, letting one hand wave dramatically in the air instead of gluing it awkwardly to the microphone.

The other three seemed to be thinking the same thing as Nico, because they were all grinning and adding unnecessary dance moves and head bobs to their performances. As they finished up a rock rendition of Love Me Now, Will turned around and met Nico’s eyes, and flashed him a wide smile, his cheeks bright pink and his hair a little sweaty. Feeling his insides squirm a little, Nico smiled back.

By the end of the rehearsal, they were all a little jittery. They’d run through every song twice with minimal mistakes (Connor had forgotten a key change and Will said “goat” instead of “gloat”), but it felt weird to just call it a day. It was the last rehearsal before the gig.

Nico could tell that Will was panicking a little because he kept reading over lyrics on his phone and mumbling them quickly under his breath. After a while, Travis and Connor decided to head home for dinner, packing up their instruments and slapping Nico and Will on the back as they headed up. Significantly sweatier than before, Will quietly asked Nico if he could hang around and practice part of one song where his lyrics lined up with a guitar riff.

“Will, we’ve practiced this bit like fifty times,” Nico said, exasperated, half an hour later. “I think we’ve got it down.”

Will shook his head. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I just feel like this is my worst bit.”

“But you’ve been playing it perfectly for the last twenty minutes!”

Will just scowled at the microphone. “I just know that this is what I’m gonna screw up.”

“Who says you’re gonna screw anything up?” Nico set his guitar down against the couch and collapsed, yawning into a cushion.

“I always screw up at least once,” Will stated. “And it’s always the part that I practice a million times. In the moment I just freak out and forget what I’m doing.”

Nico stretched and sat up. “Even if you do mess up, no one’s gonna notice. They’ll all be drunk off their asses.”

Will let his hand fall from the microphone. “You’re right.”

“Why are you so scared?” Nico asked after a moment, remembering Will’s confidence from earlier. “You’ve done this before, right?”

Will nodded slowly, walking away from the equipment to join Nico on the couch. He closed his eyes and put his head back on the cushion. “Yeah, I’ve done this stuff before. I guess it’s just never been this big of a crowd. And it’s never been people that are then gonna judge what I wear to school on Monday.”

“Seriously?” Nico laughed. “Why do you care what they think about your clothes?”

Will opened his eyes and turned to him. “Of course I care, Nico. It’s freshman year of high school. I have to care because I’m gonna be seeing them every day for the next three and a half years of my life, and they can make those three and a half years as awesome or as miserable as they want.” He put his head back down. “I just don’t want them thinking I’m a dweeb.”

“They’re not gonna think you’re a dweeb for messing up one verse.”

Will shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe not. But it still stresses me out, okay?” He let out a slow breath. “Whatever. I don’t expect you to get it, anyway.”

Nico looked at him. “What? Why?”

Will lifted his head again. “I don’t know, man. That stuff just doesn’t seem to get to you. You just let it roll off your back. People gossip and whisper about how you were homeschooled, and your family, and the whole thing with you and Percy—”

“There’s not a thing between me and Percy,” Nico cut in, his ears going red. His heart began to pound immediately. He knew people had found out. Someone had seen it and told someone else who’d told someone else. The whole school knew and thought he was some kind of creep who took advantage of drunk guys at parties.

“Whoa chill, I just meant the whole thing with your sister and all,” Will said, looking concerned. After a moment, his brow furrowed. “Wait, was there something else?”

Nico looked at the carpet. “No, sorry. I just… heard a rumor the other day.”

Unlike earlier, Will didn’t seem to buy his lie.

“Nico, what hap—”

“Nothing, Will. I don’t want to talk about it,” Nico huffed. He could feel that his face was beet red. “I get that you’re afraid of messing up and ruining your amazing reputation or whatever, but I can’t deal with this. I’ve got enough stress on my own about stuff that actually matters. I’m sorry I can’t run the same phrase with you a hundred freaking times.”

Will was silent for a minute, staring out into space. Nico didn’t look at him, just focused on the same stain in the carpet, trying not to think about the friendship he might have just ruined. After what felt like the longest silence, Will stood up, brushing off the seat of his pants.

“You know, Nico, I think you’d be a little less stressed out about stuff if you actually talked about things and didn’t just get mad when people don’t understand your depressing, complicated life.” He unplugged the microphone from the amp with more force than was necessary, and coiled the wire quickly around his arm. “It’s not that hard to open up, especially not to your best friend.”

He dropped the coiled wire on top of the amp and grabbed his backpack, still not making eye contact with Nico, who was still stuck to the couch, unable to find words.

“Thanks for having us over. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Nico sat in the same position for about an hour, unable to find the motivation to get up.

*            *            *

             The next day felt like it lasted an eternity.

Nico hadn’t been able to fall asleep the night before, partially because he was freaking out about the fight with Will, and partially because the house was still freezing. He hadn’t seen his dad since his drunken breakdown, and Nico couldn’t find the courage to seek him out. At around 3:30 in the morning, he heard his dad stomping down the stairs, probably to get food or another beer, but Nico fell asleep before he heard him return. The next day, he woke up a little past noon, sweating through the fifty blankets he’d wrapped around himself to fall asleep.

For a moment, all he could focus on was getting out of bed so he could cool down, but the moment he was standing groggily in his underwear, everything came flooding back.

His dad was a mess. Will hated his guts. The gig was today.

With a groan, Nico fell back on the bed, pressing his eyes closed to try and block it all out.

A while later, when he got the courage to check his phone, he found nothing from Will, but was surprised by a text from an unknown number. A weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, he opened it.

Hey Nico—It’s Annabeth. I wanted to text you because Percy’s been freaking out about something that he thinks happened between you guys at that party the other day. He feels really bad and wants you to know that nothing was your fault. I 100% agree with him. Text me when you get this!

Part of Nico wanted to puke. He had secretly hoped that Percy would never remember the details of that night. Nico’s age old crush could remain a secret that could never get out to the school and ruin him. Annabeth would never know that Percy had unknowingly been unfaithful.

But another part of Nico was relieved. After all, this scenario was probably for the better. Percy remembered. He didn’t hate him. Annabeth wasn’t mad. Everything had worked out in the best way that it could have, without anyone getting horribly hurt. Nico felt his chest loosen up as he texted Annabeth back.

Thanks Annabeth. I’m sorry and I don’t blame him either.

He pressed send and immediately let out a heavy breath. Trying not to think about Will, he threw on some clothes, brushed his teeth, and headed down to get food.

When he passed his father’s room, he was surprised to find the door open. His dad always closed the door, even if he wasn’t inside. Nico could hear his loud snores from the other end of the hall. Nervously, he padded over and peered inside. His dad was passed out, face down on his bed, with what looked like a photo album beside him. A plate with half a pancake and some syrup was on his nightstand. There was still a light on.

While he was still concerned, Nico was relieved that his dad wasn’t still in that grimy white t-shirt and that there weren’t any empty bottles by the bed. Grabbing the dirty pancake plate, Nico headed downstairs.

The rest of the day was incredibly uneventful. He packed up his guitar and picked an outfit for that night. He took a long shower, shaved (per Will’s suggestion), and blow dried his hair so it wouldn’t be too flat. Connor texted Nico that he could pick him up at around 10:15.

Are you picking up Will too?

Nah he said he’d just walk. He lives really close

Nico felt his stomach tighten, irrationally wondering if Will was avoiding him. He wanted more than anything to text and apologize, but he just couldn’t find the courage. Will could still be angry. He should give him space.

That decision didn’t keep Nico from obsessively checking his phone over the course of the next few hours, pleading and pleading for something from Will. Nick Lantoya added him on Facebook to formally invite him to the event, but that was about it.

“Hello Ladies and Gents! I’m pleased to invite you to what’s going to be the craziest event of the homecoming season! Are you fed up with teachers? Sick of homework? Exhausted from the pain that is living a grueling teenaged life? Then join us at 1300 Griggs St. after the homecoming dance to celebrate our spectacular loss at the game last night! We’ll have food, some live music, and all the booze you can ask for… provided you bring $5. Can’t wait to see you sick bastards there!!”

There were close to two hundred people who said they were coming to the event, and Nico felt his palms begin to sweat as he scrolled through the list, recognizing some of Percy’s friends and not too many others. Sure enough, Percy and Annabeth said they were coming too, and the thought of them watching Nico perform made him feel nauseous again. He decided to wait to eat until dinner.

By the time that Nico got around to microwaving some leftover pizza, he’d heard his father moving around his room upstairs and the shower turned on. At around seven, his dad finally came downstairs.

“Mornin,” he joked, striding into the room and making a beeline for the fridge.

“Hey,” Nico replied in a mumble.

“Sleep well?” his father asked. “Sorry I had the thermostat so cold.”

“I’m used to it.”

His father grabbed a slice of pizza and plopped down at the table, eating it cold. He eyed Nico curiously, as if trying to gauge if he was mad. Nico pretended not to notice and chewed his crust.

“You’ve got a performance tonight, as I recall.”

“Yeah,” Nico said. “We’re playing at one of Travis’s friend’s homecoming parties.”

“Ahh, so it’s homecoming weekend then. Was the game last night?”

“Yeah, we lost.”

“Too bad,” his father said with a dramatic sigh. “And the dance is tonight then. Are you going?”

Nico laughed a little. “Nah, it’s not really my kind of thing.”

“But you could’ve gone with that Will boy! And your other friends of course.”

“We all just wanted to get ready for the gig,” Nico stated, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“I understand.”

His dad chewed his pizza thoughtfully for a moment. Nico checked his phone for the billionth time. Nothing from Will. He let out another heavy breath.

“Well, good luck then,” said his father. “Do you need a ride?”

“Connor’s taking me.”

“Okay.” He smirked. “If you need a ride back—for any reason—please let me know.”

Nico felt his ears get a little warm. “Okay.”

He could tell his father wanted to talk more, but thankfully, he got the message and left Nico to obsessively check his phone. The next three hours felt like a millennium; yet, when Connor’s headlights shined through the living room blinds, Nico still felt like he needed more time to emotionally prepare. He and Connor loaded the amps into the van, and after Nico shouted goodbye to his dad, they were on the road.

“You nervous?” he asked Connor after a long silence. The radio was playing a Fall out Boy song that they were going to play later.

“Yeah, a little,” admitted Connor. “I think I’m just gonna get a little buzzed before we go on so I won’t overthink anything.”

Nico frowned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Connor grinned. “I’ll be fine, don’t you worry your skinny little neck.”

Slightly more anxious than before, Nico sat back and shut up for the rest of the ride.

When they got to the house, Nick Lantoya greeted them at the door, grinning widely and clapping their backs harder than was entirely necessary.

“I’m so glad you guys are here! You’re gonna be a huge hit, I just know it!” He gripped each of their shoulders (Nico had a sneaking suspicion he was using them as a crutch), and led them into his kitchen.

His house was pretty big. Not as big as Nico’s but it could definitely hold two hundred people. Some of Nick’s buddies were in the kitchen, blaring some rap music while they poured different colored liquids into a huge cooler. Some of it splashed over the side, and Nico saw that it was a deep, bluish-greenish color.

“The stage is out back, so you can go ahead and get set up,” Nick told them. “We’ve got an extension cord running behind the stage with a huge power strip. Let me know if you need anything else. The drum set is already set up.”

“Where’s Will?” Connor asked.

One of the guys stirring the juice chuckled. “Your boy’s in the bathroom. Has been for the last ten minutes.”

Another guy with muscles bigger than his head laughed. “That kid’s an idiot. I think I love him.”

All four of them laughed, and Nick smiled at Will and Connor. “He should be good by eleven thirty. He just got a bit of a head start.”

“Puke and rally,” one of the guys mumbled, and the others nodded in agreement.

“Oh jeez,” Connor mumbled under his breath, heading for what must have been the bathroom.

Nico didn’t move, just stared at the guys as they poured more weird liquids into the cooler, rapping along to the loud music. Some of the cabinets behind them were zip-tied shut. So was the fridge. What did they mean about Will getting a head start? Nico thought, beginning to panic. Puke and rally? Is he okay?

As if answering his question, Will practically exploded into the room, an empty can falling from his hand onto the ground. Just as Nico turned, Will slipped a little on the floor and nearly collided with him as he went in for a huge bear hug.

“Nico!” Will shouted in his ear. “My man! The lord, the legend! What is up?”

Thoroughly startled, Nico pulled away from the hug, staring at the stain on the collar of Will’s black shirt. Nervously, he asked, “Hey Will, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, my man.” He let out a loud, long burp, accidentally kicked his left foot with his right, and started to collapse, so that Nico and Connor had to grab him by the arms to keep him upright. The other guys watched from the kitchen and laughed.

As they dragged a babbling Will around to sit on the couch, Connor met Nico’s eyes and shook his head, his eyes seeming to say something along the lines of ‘we’re screwed.’

“What happened?” Nico asked quietly, trying not to blush as Will mumbled something about shiny hair and started touching Nico’s bangs.

“He’s wasted, man,” Connor said solemnly, snatching an unopened beer from Will’s hand. “Half an hour before people even get here, and our lead singer’s absolutely shitfaced.”

Will grasped Nico’s hand and held it tightly, his eyes closed and his head thrown back. He smelled like puke.

“What are we gonna do?” Nico asked Connor, staring at his hand in Will’s.

Connor sighed and shook his head. “There’s nothing we can do but set up the stage and keep this one away from the Natty Light.” He took a napkin and started to dab at the stain on Will’s shirt. He looked over at Nico like a resigned parent. “The show must go on, I guess.”

[shinaina]

Counting Steps

Summary | She was an angel in her element, her elegant movements while she danced enough to put anyone who watched in a trance; and he was far too eager to be hypnotized. 

Next Chapter | N/A

Couple | NaruHina 

Rating | T 

He was there often, not that she cared or even noticed, a lot of people came to see rehearsal or simply to observe the dancers lost in a trance. He got lost in the crowd as easily as a spec of dust did. No matter how focused his gaze was as it just always seemed to linger on her, begging her to take note of him, the girl never noticed. Too lost in her own trance during her performance to pay him any mind. It seemed the cliche idea that a man looked at a woman with utter and unadulterated awe and love in his eyes was always when she was looking away.

Hinata Hyuga was the lead of dancing for her profession, ballet; though that didn’t mean she wasn’t skilled in other forms. Her style of dance was simply much more graceful and feminine; a style in which allowed her to easily take the spotlight when it came to ballet. Yet the petite girl was considered a prodigy when it came to dancing, able to learn any performance within a day’s time; no matter the style seemingly. Whenever the time came that one specific group within the dancing unit needed a replacement or an extra they usually went to her. The young woman, having turned 19 only two weeks ago, was attending one of the most prestigious mixed media arts school within her country which coincidentally was only an hour drive from her hometown. She stayed in a loft in which her family provided for her upon her arrival though she often left during the weekends to visit if she was not busy. A kind and reserved girl, she held a calm strength to her that one may have missed due to her gentleness and soft-spoken nature. A small and slim body but seemed to be voluminous in the parts that mattered; namely her chest, hips, hair and lips. Not many knew much about the school-proclaimed goddess, nothing more than the fact that they wanted to know more about her. Perhaps it was the way she held herself with beauty and grace, her long silky dark hair that seemed to glow in a navy blue shade in the sunlight and her capturing almost transparent, pale lavender eyes or the porcelain skin that practically made her doll-like which everyone imagined was soft to the touch. Hinata was simply so beautiful, so compassionate and empathetic, it was hard not to want to get to know her. Yet she only seemed to appear for her classes, rehearsal and then vanish, like some mythical creature whose appearance was considered a blessing.

The only other student in the school who even seemed to know Hinata and actually have a close relationship with her was a student of the same nature only in a much more aloof manner. A student who was just as mysterious as her and a sight of immense beauty to anyone who was attracted to the male gender. Sasuke Uchiha. A 20 year old young man who was studying the arts of choir, piano and traditional guitar. A sure to be hit when he began his career as a singer, he was already a practical celebrity in their school. His music held a sort of melancholy tone to it and yet his voice angelic. Sasuke seemed to be the literal and walking embodiment of the phrase tall, dark, and handsome. A pale fellow, not unhealthily or upsettingly so though, with ink black hair along with ebony colored eyes, a muscular and toned body and a face of constant indifference.

It was no surprise the two students who came from the most prestigious families were constant companions in their daily life. Their families were tight business partners which resulted easily in the two having been playmates since the moment they were able to crawl. Seen walking together in a quiet conversation while Sasuke walked in front of Hinata almost protectively carrying her bags with a face that almost looked gentle. Hinata trailing after in a thoughtful expression as she recounted her day and seemed more open with the man than she ever could be. It was as if the two most beautiful people in the world had come together and jealousy was thick in the air from any gender as they watched their eye candy walk around with the other.  

“I heard their parents had their marriage arranged since they were toddlers.”

“Imagine how beautiful their children will be! They’re practically gods which means their children will be literal angels!”

“Hmph! I bet they don’t even know how to love because they simply knew all along they’d marry each other.”

“Of course people as arrogant and stuck up as that would end up together.”

“We don’t even know anything about them, only that they know each other…”

Hinata’s eyes slowly drifted from left to right as the whispers continued, some amusing her while others simply made her self-conscious. As they approached Sasuke’s pure jet black Corvette the ebony eyed man opened the door for her and closed it as she entered before putting their bags in the trunk. She fiddled with her fingers, a nervous habit she had had for as long as she could remember, as she waited for companion. Sasuke entered with a scowl on his face. “Don’t listen to them.” Stated the Uchiha calmly, a mantra he had taught her that she repeated to herself often. “All people like that know to do is assume.” He added in an indifferent tone as he put the key in the ignition and turned it. His playlist instantly came on along with the car, his own preference in music was a similar melancholy indie style to his own. Hinata learned quickly that Sasuke enjoyed music with low and slow instrumentals with drops here and there along with poetic lyrics; she didn’t mind at all.

As he drove they remained in a comfortable silence as Hinata thought about their lifelong companionship. No they were not betrothed and they honestly never planned their make a romantic relationship between them a reality. Their friendship was purely platonic, a friendship put together by their fathers in order to assure a comfortability between families and to promise another generation of union between them. While Sasuke’s brother had taken up the mantle of the Uchiha family, not that Sasuke minded, and Hinata’s younger sister was the heir to the mantle of her’s due to her lack of passion for business, their families were practically that; family. They were practically siblings and a silent promise of always being there for each other remained a constant reminder in the air they breathed around each other. “It’s funny isn’t it? That even to this day people can’t wrap their heads around the idea of a platonic relationship between a male and female who aren’t related. It’s almost offensive.” Hinata murmured quietly in which triggered a “Hn.” response from Sasuke. She knew he didn’t care about what was said of him, he was confident and sure of himself, the Hyuga wished she could be more like him.

As they came up to the building in which Hinata’s loft was located, Sasuke parked and got out to open the door for her; something bred out of constant scolding from his mother about being a “gentleman” and force of habit. She exited and waited for him as he got her bags and began to walk in front of her in a defensive manner as usual. Bringing a hand to her mouth she chuckled. “Sometimes I feel like you’re my servant.” Sasuke casted her a glance that only made her giggle more. “Would you rather carry them? Also if I wasn’t around I wouldn’t doubt it if you ran into a door multiple times due to being so used to me opening them for you.” Now that shut the younger one of the two up as she pouted at her friend, a smirk appeared on his face though he didn’t even have to look at her to know she was offended by the comment. As they entered the building Hinata couldn’t help but smile, it was modern with elegant furniture everywhere; an aesthetic she secretly enjoyed. Sasuke entered the elevator and waited for her until pressing the button to the highest floor.

The loft itself had white carpet with black leather couches and a glass coffee table in the living area, the flat screen TV was planted on the wall with a small and simple wall shelf a foot or so beneath it to hold a few books. The kitchen to the right was a modern one with a grey marbled island with a black and steel exterior design for the kitchen. Immediately the two took off their shoes, Sasuke moving to put her navy duffle bag and ivory backpack beside the couch, they stood out only slightly. The glass pull aside doors led out to a balcony with glass borders and an ivory bench. It was extravagant but simple and she enjoyed it, it didn’t tell too much about her if she ever had a visitor which she appreciated. Sasuke moved to the island in the kitchen to the white bowl filled with fruits sitting on it, he inspected it quietly before grabbing a few tomatoes. Hinata learned not to question that odd and practically obsession he had with tomatoes quickly as well. He offered her a nod before he left. “I’ll pick you up at nine like usual.” He said before approaching the door, he hesitated for a moment before saying. “There’s a new student arriving tomorrow too.” Tilting her head to the side she wondered why Sasuke felt the need to bring such a thing up, he wasn’t one for gossiping. “In the middle of the year?” Was the only question she asked. “Apparently he’s been attending our school since the beginning of the year, sending in progress of a project he’s working on in order to maintain grades. He’s arriving late due to the fact he barely finished a 4 month role in a festival short film.” Hinata immediately stiffened. No, it couldn’t be…

“How do you know this?”

“Because the dobe texted me last night.”

She was immediately trembling, Sasuke knew better than to turn around at his last statement, Hinata didn’t enjoy anyone around her while she was in a vulnerable state. “Thank you for telling me.” Murmured the pale eyed girl before Sasuke nodded with his back still turned to her and then left.

She couldn’t see him, no no no no, this couldn’t be happening. A vivid picture of the blond haired and sun kissed tan skin male was already making it’s way into her head. His bright blue eyes that held her definition of the sky within them along with his signature whisker marks which were with him since his first breath of life as birthmarks. Though having a birthmark on one’s face was an unappealing thought to most at times, he made them work somehow. The perfect beach body and perfect physique who was literally a god of beauty to her was going to come to her school tomorrow.

[inter-medeum]

I’m answering the whole damn thing

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? spotify

is your room messy or clean? both, depends on my current level of anxiety

what color are your eyes? dark brown

do you like your name? why? no, i don’t know, it’s more that i don’t like the sound of it, it makes me feel bad. There are only like 3 people that i like how they say it

what is your relationship status? sssssssuper ultra single

describe your personality in 3 words or less: gentle, funny, depressive

what color hair do you have? brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? a honda fit red :) my son

where do you shop? everywhere

how would you describe your style? sometimes soccer mom sometimes a homeless young men that uses a lot of glitter

favorite social media account tumblr, but twitter is a close second

what size bed do you have? doble

any siblings? one sister

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? taiwan with @a-tzu... lol idk i don’t travel much so i’m not very concious of the difference between here or anywhere else

favorite snapchat filter? i don’t use snapchat

favorite makeup brand(s) idk

how many times a week do you shower? 6 lmao... i don’t shower on saturdays that’s my free day

favorite tv show? yuri on ice~

shoe size? 24

how tall are you? short... 5′

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? nah

describe your dream date: one where we do something new and different

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? 400 pesos mexicanos... like 20 dollars

what color socks are you wearing? white

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2 or 3... idk

do you have a job? what do you do? doing my social service as a librarian

how many friends do you have? lately i think i have only 2

whats the worst thing you have ever done? oh man... that one is hard. Letting myself fall into depression and never looking for help (currently)

whats your favorite candle scent? none i don’t use candles

3 favorite boy names: javier, alejandro and sebastian (i know! but that’s a cool name)... in mexico those are very common and basic (?) names, but I think they sound cool

3 favorite girl names: ana, julieta... i don’t have a third one lol

favorite actor? don’t

favorite actress? don’t

who is your celebrity crush? don’t

favorite movie? spike jonze’s her

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? not as much as i wish... i don’t have a favorite i’m still searching for the right one lol

money or brains? both... mostly money lmao

do you have a nickname? what is it? “cobijita” (little blanket) by my sister and her friends and some of my friends it’s kinda embarrassing but super cute

how many times have you been to the hospital? only 2, one to have my wisdom teeth removed and for my lasik surgery

top 10 favorite songs: (don’t judge) i don’t like talking about my fav music since it changes a lot but my all time favorites i think are: erik satie’s gymnopedies and gnosiennes, vivaldi’s four stations, bach’s prelude, m83 - my tears are becoming a sea / kim & jessie, david bowie - heroes... man i can’t, i love a lot of songs tho these are the ones i love since ever

do you take any medications daily? i should lmao

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) mixed

what is your biggest fear? people disapproval

how many kids do you want? 2 or 3... i really want to have kids but at the same time i’m scared of ruining their lives

whats your go to hair style? long and messy

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) in a relatively big house for only one person (during the week) and a relatively small house for a family of 4 (at weekends with my parents)

who is your role model? my mother of course! and my sister

what was the last compliment you received? you are so good at ice skating (lmaaaaao this one was from my new rink mate she’s so super nice)

what was the last text you sent? i think i said that i’m mad that we don’t have an ice rink in my hometown

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? we don’t believe in santa here in mexico, tho we believe in the magic kings (?) that gave presents to baby jesus... i think i was 8

what is your dream car? i’m good with my car, idc...

opinion on smoking? i have never smoked... i don’t like the smell of it so don’t smoke near to me lol

do you go to college? yeah and i hate it

what is your dream job? i have many dreams but i’m not focused

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? rural

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? yeah

do you have freckles? in my body a lot lol

do you smile for pictures? nah

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 200... tho i usually keep it clean

have you ever peed in the woods? no

do you still watch cartoons? yeah

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? there’s no wendy’s on mexico so i choose mcdonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? salsa valentina... is literally the best thing in the world

what do you wear to bed? an old t shirt and sweatpants

have you ever won a spelling bee? nah

what are your hobbies? making drama, overthinking, taking care of my fish tank, reading sci fi, lately ice skating

can you draw? i actually can, i’m an architecture student so...

do you play an instrument? none i wish i could play piano

what was the last concert you saw? 31 minutos count? it’s a kids show (latinoamerica)

tea or coffee? tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? dunkin donuts

do you want to get married? yes

what is your crush’s first and last initial?boiii i have a shit ton of crushes, my last crush’s was DB :v

are you going to change your last name when you get married? idk we don’t do that here but it feels cute (?) so maybe i would want to

what color looks best on you? dark colors... shit i don’t know their names in english... ummm dark blue and dark cherry (?)

do you miss anyone right now? a friend... we became very distant and it was my fault

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open

do you believe in ghosts? nope

what is your biggest pet peeve? people peeing with the door open lol

last person you called: my friend ricco, telling him about my other friend who was avoiding me (?)

favorite ice cream flavor? strawberries with cream

regular oreos or golden oreos?regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate

what shirt are you wearing? a black one with ‘one piece’ characters

what is your phone background? an art the killing stalking author did

are you outgoing or shy?super shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? yeah

do you like your neighbors? no

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? in the morning

have you ever been high? no

have you ever been drunk? more than you think

last thing you ate? elote con chile

favorite lyrics right now: I’m gonna be honest, this is related to something that happened recently between me and a long time crush/close friend. It’s a sad story actually, and it affected me more than I thought it would. carla morrison’s ‘tu atacas’ ¿Para qué vuelves esta vez, a inquietarme otra vez? (why you come back this time, to disturb me again?) Prendes todas mis emociones. (you turn on all my emotions) Devuelves los calores. (you give back all the warm) Todo comienza a girar. (everything starts to turn around) En torno a tu regresar. (around your come back) Después de tanto tiempo. (after so much time) Tienes en mí todos tus cimientos. (you have on me all your foundations) Tú me desbalanceas, tú quien pausa mi tiempo. (you unbalance me, you who stops my time) Tú me tocas, yo tiemblo. (you touch me, i tremble) Tú atacas siempre en silencio. (you attack always in silence)

summer or winter? winter

day or night? day

dark, milk, or white chocolate? dark

favorite month? september because it’s my birthday

what is your zodiac sign virgo

who was the last person you cried in front of?my teacher... bummer