#man if ONLY other nana were a guy!!! shed be the love of my life

[13eyond13]

@catboykacchan lol

[hopeswriting]

part 1, part 2

CW: Swearing

Xanxus would wonder if he went insane, but one thing his years in the slums didn’t fuck up is his perfect eyesight.

The shrimp and his mom have apparently finally realized they’ve been mafia all along all these years, and how the hell he’s the only one to realize it’s all bullshit?

“Timoteo-san, Darling,” Nana started pleasantly out of the blue at dinner. “Would it be okay of me to accompany Iemitsu at work when possible? I’ve been a little ashamed lately to not know much about it even after all these years, and frankly, I’d love it too if it could be a way for us to spend more time together. You see, I miss my husband on the daily quite a lot.” She laughed bashfully, looking at Iemitsu with loving eyes.

It came out so out of left field, Xanxus almost snapped at her right there and then.

The fuck did she say?

It shouldn’t have felt like it came out of left field. How could he have possibly missed that kind of development? It’s not as if he ever stopped watching, nor did his brothers, yet the surprise was genuine from all of them.

Iemitsu, lovesick fool as he’s ever been, predictably beamed, tears welling up in his eyes, and started singing praises at his beloved wife. The old man warmly welcomed the new too, brightening and giving his accord right away. His brothers considered the new a moment before dismissing it in the next instant.

Xanxus felt a chill run down his spine looking at the shrimp smiling and laughing at his parents’ antics, not sparing the rest of them a glance, the very image of someone who learned the new at the same time as them. As if—as if there could be any other explanation to Nana’s behavior but him.

So the shrimp can act now, can he?

News fucking flash.

But there was no fool at the table that day like every other.

The first actual reaction to Nana’s words was the old man glancing at the shrimp, with that look he gives him sometimes. Iemitsu managed not to, but Xanxus caught the aborted movement anyway. Rico and himself looked at the shrimp too before catching each other’s eye.

CEDEF and Vongola at large welcomed the new change warmly too, making it the new gossip going through the rumor mill.

Is Nana Sawada finally shedding her old civilian life to give herself fully to the family? Could they expect Iemitsu to eventually choose an official right-hand man or add his wife to his team of his most trusted subordinates? Does that mean…

They trail off at this part, giving each other eloquent looks, letting the unsaid speak for them.

The fools. Just as there’s a rule against a Vongola Boss being of the CEDEF’s boss’ lineage, the CEDEF’s boss can’t pass down his position to any of his relatives, let alone his fucking son. Or do they really think they’d rather break the latter rule instead of the former?

That Iemitsu’s allowed to bring his wife at work is already cutting it close, and adding to it they were allowed to live in the Vongola mansion, the old man better have a plan for when someone will inevitably confront him on the matter.

There were the ones who weren’t so happy at the news too, because there’s always those trashes finding reasons to bitch about this and that, though in this case Xanxus leans more on their side, but generally speaking, Nana Sawada involving herself more in the family has been considered a joyful turn of event.

Ha! “Joyful” his ass. If it was only Nana Sawada, he could pretend to not be as smart as he is and believe it, but the shrimp?

Three years old, and he was already giving them that annoying look of his whenever anyone tried to make him swallow the pill of being mafia through the childish framing of good guys versus bad guys. But now six years old, and he suddenly agrees Vongola are the good guys and he wants to become one of them too?

Give Xanxus a fucking break.

Soon, the sight of Nana anywhere else than at functions and events the wife of the CEDEF’s boss couldn’t be absent from lost its novelty, people moving on and minding their own businesses again, but the fuck if Xanxus will.

He’s been watching them more carefully than before, the shrimp more so than his mom, and turns out he should have seen it coming. The shrimp’s changed, and look at him fucking go, walking the fine line of making it just noticeable enough for the people he wants them to notice to pick up on it, while keeping it subtle enough for the people who know him to not be tipped off by it.

Truthfully, they’ve yet to do anything really noteworthy, let alone anything truly suspicious. They willingly show up at more functions than before, when before they went only to the ones they couldn’t be absent from. They greet the people that ought to be greeted, Nana at Iemitsu’s arm and the shrimp’s hand securely in hers, but instead of waiting in a corner after until the soonest it was polite of them to leave, they keep mingling with the guests. Talking to them, making conversations. Laughing together. Being looked down upon and trying their luck elsewhere. Not finding them good enough and trying their luck elsewhere. Nana along with Iemitsu, but sometimes alone too, often alone, and the shrimp at the kiddies’ corner.

The kiddies’ corner, but by no means the least important corner of these functions, nowhere even close. Not when they’re the future of the mafia, and any older and more experienced mafioso worth his salt, let alone a mafia boss, makes it a point to watch over them, to raise and teach them, to gain their favors and loyalty.

Not when they’re the ones who’ll grow up to inherit the many positions that keep the mafia and Vongola turning, prospering and powerful.

After Nana made it known to the old man she planned to become more involved in the family business, she changed the shrimp’s bodyguards. Not all of them, but she handpicked the new ones who are to be the closest to him and stay with him at all times.

Their backgrounds were thoroughly checked, and all information about them shared among them as it’s customary after the old man gave his approval, but she handpicked them. Or more like gave her approval after the shrimp did.

Xanxus would be overstepping if he looked into what Nana does at CEDEF, so who the fuck knows what does she do there, but Iemitsu is no fool, no matter how much he likes to play the part of it. He must only allow her around the lower ranks and their works, but then again, what the fuck does it matter when she’s the CEDEF’s boss’s wife?

Iemitsu’s no fool, but who else is he supposed to unwind to at night and trust the most in this world?

It doesn’t sit right with him either that Nana looks perfectly fine with that. There’s no reason she shouldn’t be, but she looks like this is where she wanted to be all along.

It’s the same with they way they’re acting with the staff at the mansion. It’s the same way they’ve always been acting with them, saying “Please”, “Thank you”, “Sorry”, “Good morning”, “Would you…?” and “How are you?” like they’re trying to win some fucking most annoyingly polite and considerate people in the world contest, as if they still don’t realize why not anyone else does the same.

Some because they’re assholes, and Xanxus would count himself among them and doesn’t give a shit about it, but mostly they can’t afford their staff to ever forget their place even when off work. Not when they’re the ones who literally watch over their sleep. Now when they’re the ones patching them up at their weakest. Now when they’re the ones entrusted with their kids.

Not when they could be their downfall, should they have the balls, skills and luck for it, working at the heart of the Vongola as they are.

Of course they’re perfectly aware of it too, have to be if they want to keep their jobs, and so far none of them has ever shown the shrimp and his mom anything but strict professionalism in return, but it doesn’t mean they might not be thinking any less. That they don’t care about hierarchy because they’re seemingly unaware of the basic fact the mafia will collapse in and of itself without it no doubt made some of them lose all respect for them, but it leaves everyone else, and they’re all only humans at the end of the day. Especially now there’s intent behind the kindness the shrimp and his mom indiscriminately show them.

Xanxus would know. The first person to become one of his people is Alberta, his former nanny. The second’s one’s Sarah, his former home tutor who caught him up on his education so he wouldn’t be humiliated and looked down upon when they sent him to private school along with the other mafia kids his age.

Xanxus would be overstepping too if he looked into what the shrimp’s been up to at school lately, but he heard his teachers find him more hard-working than before. By which they mean and fail to realize it’s that he’s actually less reluctant than before to learn, because the shrimp’s always been trying his best all along even if it’s never been enough for anyone.

None of these facts have to necessarily be concerning.

Except there’s only a few reasons he can think of as to why they’d be acting like that, only the one reason, and it’s driving him crazy that still, not anyone’s doing anything about it.

Whether Iemitsu is in on it too or not, of course he wouldn’t, but it still sure as hell could be considered insubordination at best, rebellion at worse, and Xanxus won’t care to confront him with that if it comes to that.

The old man’s silence on the matter is obvious too. He’d need much more than that to take action that’d be seen as reasonable considering the extent of the repercussions of even the littlest and most insignificant of his actions.

Richie can’t bother taking care of something that isn’t undeniably his and only his to take care of to save his life. Max’s too self-assured to deem a six years old’s actions concerning, no matter what his actions are. Rico…

The fuck if Xanxus knows, but he has yet to deem it worth acknowledging the matter. That works for Xanxus, as the longer this new status quo lasts, the more he can prepare himself for when it breaks, but he isn’t happy about it.

The shrimp and his mom are obviously trying to build themselves a network, to build connections, to gather allies, if not support too. They seem to have decided to go about it starting from the bottom of the ladder.

And trying to make the shrimp the face of the people with that face and that personality he has?

Fucking hell.

*

“Master Xanxus,” Anil says after knocking at his door. “Nana Sawada is here.”

“Let her in.”

She walks in, in his sitting room instead of his office, and she better fucking be grateful for it.

“Hello, Xanxus-kun. You asked to see me?”

“I wasn’t asking.”

The smile on her lips doesn’t falter. “I’m sad to hear it. Here I was hoping we could enjoy some time together having a friendly conversation. I don’t suppose you’ll agree to let us speak Japanese then? You know how homesick I can be at times.”

“Then you should have had Iemitsu move to Japan instead,” he says in Italian.

Nana sits on the couch, her smile still not faltering. “Then at least allow me to speak Japanese,” she says, switching to Japanese without waiting for his permission.

“I didn’t allow you to sit.”

She huffs a laugh before finally dropping the meaningless pleasantries, turning her cheerful smile into the slightest turn of her lips upwards. “You get to demand to see me whenever you want, but I don’t need your permission for something as small as when I can sit. Not when it’s only the two of us.”

Xanxus sits on the armchair next to the couch, forcing her to turn her neck to look him in the eye, the low table in front of them bare of any food or drinks. It’s petty power and mind play unbefitting of both their ranks, but anything more would give more weight to this meeting than they’d both want to deal with.

“This is a friendly conversation,” he decides to say first.

“Oh?”

“You heard me. So do friendly tell me just what you think the shrimp and you have been doing lately?”

“What are you under the impression we’ve been doing? For you to summon me like this.”

Xanxus scoffs. “Fucking spare me any of us playing dumb, will you?”

Nana looks at him for a beat of silence, unblinking. “Tsuna wants friends, that’s all. He’s just trying to break out of his shell more to make it happen, and I’m helping him with it.” Xanxus just barely restrains himself from rolling his eyes. He bores his eyes into her instead, and she gives in, though it might have been her plan all along. “He wants a family.”

“Ha!” Xanxus leans forwards, digging his fingers in the armrest. A grin pulls at his lips he can’t be sure isn’t a snarl, and so he smooths his face in a composed mask again. “Then let me ask you again just what do you think you’ve been doing?”

“Would you or any of your brothers keep Iemitsu at his job when you become Vongola Decimo?”

Xanxus misses a beat, the question unexpected. “Of course not.”

It’d even be one of the first positions they’d replace. Iemitsu isn’t lacking at being the CEDEF’s boss, but he’s entirely too much an embodiment of the ninth’s generation, and it’s no secret for anyone he’s the man the old man trusts the most after his Guardians.

“That’s right. And the CEDEF isn’t the CEDEF’s boss’ in a way they can pass it down to anyone but their successor. But you’d have me wait and do nothing?”

“You’re only drawing attention to himself that will bite him in the ass when it doesn’t have to happen at all.”

“Come now, Xanxus-kun,” she says, tilting her head. “Now you’re just calling me stupid to my face. Of course this is attention that is bound to be turned to him sooner than later. We’re just taking control of it.” Xanxus huffs, leaning back against the armchair. It was worth a shot. “Actually, it’s even one of the first things that’ll happen once one of you becomes Vongola Decimo, isn’t it? You’ll decide what to do about the remaining heirs.”

“So fucking what? If you have something to say about our characters, then just spit it out.”

“I’m willing to trust you.” Xanxus raises his eyebrow. ‘Willing to’, is she? “But I won’t trust anyone else on the matter. Can’t.”

“Do you even hear yourself? Your best shot is to keep waiting quietly until one of us becomes Vongola Decimo. What exactly do you think we’re going to do to him then? We’ll be all but too happy to give him the peaceful life in the furthest corner of the mafia he wants.”

“But Tsuna doesn’t just want a peaceful life. He wants to be happy too.”

That makes Xanxus a little speechless despite himself, a little disbelieving. “And that can’t happen as long as we’re part of the picture, is that what you’re fucking saying to me right now?” Nana says nothing, and he barks out a harsh laugh. “Some fucking gall you have. Not finding us good enough, but still wanting to build that happiness using us.”

“He’d just be taking what he’s due.”

Xanxus sobers up in a second, going still and unblinking, and she can’t stop herself from flinching, wincing. Good. “And what the fuck is that? He’s due something from us? I thought you were supposed to give something for that to happen first, instead of going against what you want to make use of.”

“I’d agree if you were only talking about me, but Tsuna’s as much Vongola as the rest of you. He’s as much an heir as the rest of you too, however much I wish he wasn’t.”

“Mafiosi children making it to six years old is a fucking lifetime worth being grateful for in most places in the mafia.”

Nana’s face crumbles at the mere thought of it. She intertwines her hands tight, tight enough to mark her skin with her nails, but she still can’t stop them from shaking.

She only half puts herself back together, her voice strangled. “And how far in adulthood I can expect him to make it?” Xanxus doesn’t trust his anger to speak again just yet, though he wishes she’d hear the scathing mockery in his voice. The old man made it all the way to his sixties fine enough, didn’t he? “I am grateful. But I’m also terrified. That’s exactly why—”

Xanxus kicks the low table, making her startle and tense. He clenches his jaw, gritting his teeth hard, but then forcefully makes himself relax.

He won’t get through her, that much is clear.

“And what is it that’s so much better than this he wants so fucking badly?”

It seems the answer’s obvious to her, yet she holds back her words after opening her mouth. When she opens it again, Xanxus knows it’s not the words she first planned to say that come out of her mouth. “You should come visit us at Namimori sometimes, Xanxus-kun. You could play with Tsuna, go out with him. You could help me cook all your favorites. We’d show you the neighborhood, the town and its people. I think you’d like it.”

Her smile is genuine and warm, and Xanxus dismisses her offer before even truly considering it first.

What a fucking joke. Don’t all roofs above your head and three meals a day look the same everywhere? And Vongola is the least likely roof to ever collapse on him.

“What else would you have him do?” she asks softly. “What else would you have me do? I’m his mother. Timoteo-san should officially name his successor any day now, right? So we’re already running out of time, and he only has Iemitsu’s reputation to his name. But you’d still have me wait?”

Xanxus snorts. “Now you’re the one calling me fucking stupid to my face.”

The shrimp is no such harmless and powerless figure within Vongola, has never been so, and not just because of the inherent influence, status and authority given to him through his lineage. His flames alone would be more than enough for people to rally behind him.

They still could find him incompetent at everything else, but there’s always ways around an incompetent boss.

A weak boss, on the other hand, is a lot harder to deal with without taking extreme measures.

“Fine,” she says, smiling. “Tsuna can stand on his own just fine, of course, and I know that better than anyone else. But that’d just make them find him worth using, and I won’t stand for that.”

Xanxus frowns. So this is it, is it? They’re having the same conversation, but only Xanxus understands all the nuances of it.

Better they find him worth using than them actually becoming interested and invested in him.

“Should I give you a friendly bit of advice seeing as we’re having a friendly conversation?” Something chiding and fond flickers across Nana’s face, so motherly, it makes him uneasy. “You have this under control only until they take it away from you. Only until you’ll have to give it away to them.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“That’s nice and all, but do you get what it’d mean if you were to succeed?”

Nana keeps holding his gaze, unwavering, because of fucking course she does.

Xanxus stands, uncaring of the sneer that slips past him. What a waste of time this was, but at least now he knows exactly where he needs to stand.

“Xanxus-kun.” She holds her hand out to him, and Xanxus can’t help but let his eyes linger on the gesture.

She’s the only mother he’s ever known in the mansion, and though she’s never tried to become their mom too, Xanxus’ never let her be motherly towards him either.

He doesn’t take her hand.

Nana takes it gracefully like she always does, smiling as she takes her hand back. “I know you’re scared.” Xanxus glares at her. “Worried, then. Angry. But I promise he has no intention to take anything that belongs to you and your brothers away from you. He won’t ever do that, you know him. So let us please not be enemies of each other.”

Ha. “Let us not be enemies of each other”, and not “Let us stand together”, huh?

Xanxus feels incredibly stupid to have ever thought her clueless in and unaware of matters of politics.

*

Xanxus silently sneaks up behind the shrimp, but doesn’t try to conceal his presence from him. His bodyguard lets him, not alerting the shrimp, and so he startles when Xanxus picks him off his feet by the collar of his shirt.

“Let go of me, let go of me!” he screams in fear and panic, kicking his feet and flailing his arms wildly. “Billy-san!” He flares his flames, wrapping his hands around his wrist, and Xanxus feels the heat increasing against his skin.

It’s much too slow a reaction, but at least it’s the correct one.

“How many times must we tell you to always remain aware of your surroundings even at home?”

The shrimp lets go of his wrist, whipping his head to look at him, all tension leaving his body near instantly. “Xan-nii! You scared me!”

He pouts, and Xanxus puts him back down on his feet, rolling his eyes.

“I apologize, master Tsunayoshi,” his bodyguard says.

“Ah, no, it’s okay.” Xanxus glances at him at the same time the shrimp gives him an eloquent look, smiling, and he steps back to give them privacy. “I was paying attention,” he says, looking back at him.

“Shrimp,” Xanxus cuts him off before he can tell him it’s just that he doesn’t see him as a threat to him. He doesn’t want to hear it today. “Whatever you’re planning to do, stop it while you still can.”

Xanxus failed to knock some sense in the mother, but maybe the son will fucking listen.

Or maybe not, a serious and determined look taking over the shrimp’s face.

“I just—”

“Want friends, yes, yes,” he parrots mockingly. “But you want a family too, don’t you?”

The shrimp frowns, before some sort of realization dawns on him. He shakes his head. “No, not like that.” Xanxus’ brow twitches. What does that mean? Maybe he also was missing some nuance when talking to Nana. “Xan-nii—” He steps forwards, but stops himself from reaching out to him. “Home doesn’t have to only be Vongola, does it?” he says softly, carefully, watching out for his reaction. “And family either.”

Right. Xanxus wasn’t missing anything, but he sure as fuck still doesn’t get it.

Vongola is the first home he’s ever had. Maybe not family too, but sure as hell family in the way everyone else means it.

Rico’s the one who constantly stayed by his side for days on end after his first kill, even sleeping with him, and refusing to leave no matter how many times or how violently Xanxus snapped at him until he could finally eat with his hands without throwing up the food right after.

Max’s the one who taught him he didn’t have to get rid of his temper, only had to learn to control it to help him get the things he wants faster and easier, and he never let it make him cower from him all the while.

Richie’s the one who taught him about pride, who looked at a pathetic boy from the slums with only a delusional mother for family and told him he was allowed pride too, especially considering how hard he was working for it.

The old man is the one who took him in and out of the slums.

Vongola is the only home Xanxus wants and gives a shit about.

“You think you’re so much fucking better than us.”

The shrimp steps back, frowning, confused. “That’s not true. I like you, Xan-nii. You always look at me even if I don’t make you. You always look at people, and I like that.” Xanxus would feel guilty if he was a better person. That’s just survival, something he picked up from the slums and proved useful in the Vongola mansion too, so of course he kept it and sharpened it. “I like Rico-nii, Max-nii and Richi-nii too. Grandpa too. I just…”

Xanxus bristles at the worried look he gives him, tensing. He never could get used to the perceptiveness that apparently runs through their blood. Some dumb fuck called it hyper intuition, as if there’s something mystical or supernatural to it when it’s just a matter of knowing people and paying attention to them, but it does always put him the most on edge when coming from the shrimp.

Nana said the old man should officially announce his successor any day now.

He should, but he has yet to do it even if Xanxus is the only and obvious choice to make.

He’s been the most favorite Vongola Decimo candidate for a year now, give or take, which is no fucking easy feat when his brothers have been fighting him tooth and nails all along to replace him in that position. But he’s been holding on strong, yet the old man is still clearly hesitating.

Xanxus still has to find any of his Guardians compared to his brothers. Though as far as Vongola and the mafia at large know, he already has the six of them and it’s just a matter of him making it official, if for no other reason than because he got sick of all those trashes throwing themselves at him in the hope of becoming his Guardian. Obviously the old man wouldn’t be fooled by it, but it still doesn’t explain it. It’s not like they’d do the passing of the rings right after announcing the official successor, and it’s not as if Xanxus hasn’t been searching for his Guardians.

The fuck else can Xanxus do to finally be enough in the old man’s eyes too? To receive the same look he sometimes gives the shrimp, and the same look of approval and pride he gives to his brothers?

He wishes he knew.

He already tried everything and succeed at them.

He wishes the old man would just tell him what it is, but the longer he doesn’t, even now, the more resolved Xanxus becomes to find out himself.

The shrimp grabs his hand, obviously growing uneasy at his silence. “Xan-nii. I don’t care about Vongola, I swear. You can have it.”

He doesn’t fucking say.

Xanxus wishes he’d care.

You’re careful about the things you do to something you care about, careful not to end up breaking them.

“So you’re saying you could take it from us if you wanted to?”

The shrimp falters, loosening his hold on his hand. “No, that’s not…”

Xanxus frees his hand fully, crouching in front of him. “Listen, Shrimp. Why do you think we try so hard to have people on our side and keep them on our side? The people’s will is power in and of itself. Keep acting like that, and they’ll make you want Vongola too.”

“But I have my will too,” he says, frowning. “I won’t let them.”

“Yeah, great fucking idea. And what do you think will happen to Vongola when you’ll fight about who gets to do what they want?”

The shrimp stops frowning, clearly not confused by his words, clearly getting the meaning of them perfectly.

He still only gives him a shrug, keeping holding his gaze, unwavering.

Because of fucking course he does.

This is now or never to nip this in the bud, Xanxus feels it deep in his guts. To nip him in the bud.

Federico be damned, because there’ll be no turning back if they let this grow any further. If they let him grow any further.

But Xanxus’ the one the shrimp first came to, bruised from the beating he got at school, and the one in front of whom he burst out crying. Xanxus had gone to his school the very same day, and it didn’t help him make friends, but no one ever put a hand on him ever again, that’s for fucking sure.

Xanxus’ the one he first called by his nickname even if he never made any effort to scare him less, what with his temper, cursing and rough appearance.

Xanxus’ the one he confesses to about how much he doesn’t like all his mafia training, education and upbringing, and how he often wonders what it’d be like if he was just normal. Xanxus mocks him and makes fun of him for it too, but apparently not in a way that hurts him when other people do the same.

There’s only ever been family to Xanxus ever since the old man took him in, but there’s always been family and family to the shrimp, and he’s the one who should know they were never meant to be made to choose between the two.

Xanxus laughs.

What a fucking mess.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Time travel rescue crossover fic; 11th Doctor x teen reader ft. Queen

*Author’s note*

Well guys this is it. After tomorrow I will be HOME FREE OF SCHOOL AND THEN GRADUATE AND LEAVE COLLEGE FOREVER NEXT THURS. So now that I FINALLY completed my assignments save for my final tomorrow, I can finally start posting some more stuff up. Now this series came from a wattpad request, and not only that but I’ve seen several time travel fic regarding Queen but this one is a little different, welcome to my 2nd crossover series and this one is based around.

DOCTOR WHO!!!  Yep and as mentioned in the title it takes place during the 11th gen. of the Raggedy Doctor. So in this fic it’s the ACTUAL band Queen, not the BoRhap boys being Queen. So some facts I’m pulling based off people posting facts through here and some knowledge I began to find myself. I hope you all enjoy the first few chapters of this series and give it a shot :) Happy reading the next few parts I’ve got. And if you’d like to be tagged in this series, just leave a comment below.

Taglist (this series open):

@psychosupernatural​

@plethora-of-things​

@ixchel-9275​

@waddles03​

@platawnic​

@bensrhapsody​

@geek-and-proud​

@queendeakyy​

@kairosfreddie​

_______________________________________________________

*December 20th, 2019*

I was riding my bike through the streets of London which was packed with Christmas decorations.  Everyone scrambling around trying to do last minute shopping, I however had a different agenda.  I was going to meet a friend of mine that I promised I would meet.

I arrived off the corner of Kensington street and there I saw the famed blue police box.  I parked my bike just across from it and looked around to make sure no one was watching or coming towards this direction before finally hopping on in.

And once I stepped inside, I found myself in a place that looked bigger on the inside.  For you see this wasn’t any ordinary police box, this was the TARDIS, a time machine in English that was owned by none other than…..

“Ahh so good to see you’ve arrived on time (y/n).” Well speak of the devil.

“Don’t I always when it comes to you?” I said as I walked towards the raggedy old fool and hugged him.  A man known as The Doctor.

“How’s your nan doing?”

“She’s better.”

“I know she is, now that she don’t have to worry about you hanging around with those no gooders. Aren’t you glad I found you when I did?” To make a long story short, after both my parents were thrown in prison on various charges, my nana was the only legal guardian to take care of me.

Well by the time I reached 13, I was starting to follow down the same path as my parents.  A life of petty crime, mostly gang banging and some drugs.  That was until the Doctor came into my life when I was turned 14.  After a few time adventures with him, it got me to see that life really is too short.  So I left the gang life and tried to make things up with my nana and I’ve been clean and good for 2 years now.

It’s hard I’ll admit, especially trying to get away from the violence that I had been known in my gang.  Back with them they called me the ‘Tigress’ cause I showed no mercy when it comes to fighting, I could literally become a savage animal at the snap of a finger.

We hugged each other and he said.

“So what shall it be today?”

“Well…..” I pulled out my phone and opened up my Youtube playlist and went to the first channel that was labeled QUEEN concerts and I clicked the first link.  “Could I maybe tempt you into taking me back to a Queen concert? Specifically their Christmas Eve concert they did after the release of a Night at the Opera in 1975. I think next to the Live Aid performance, that’s my favorite concert of theirs.”

“Well as I once said I didn’t ever want to tamper with actual history. But it’s Christmas, the time for miracles. Maybe I could overlook this just once. Plus who could refuse a Queen concert?”

“Apparently most kids my age.”

“Alright so Christmas week 1975.” The Doctor went over to the control and flipped some switches and soon we were off.

However as we were traveling through time and space, there was a sudden jolt.  The lights flickered and I was knocked over towards the railing.

“What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know. We shouldn’t have hit something.” He activated a few buttons and turned on the monitors.  The look on his face turned pale with horror.

“What is it Doctor?”

“We picked up a straggler.” The TARDIS jolted again.

“Is there any way to shake it off? I mean what exactly has us?”

“I’m still trying to read into it’s vital signs but it’s cloaked itself good, even from this old girl.” Suddenly the doors opened and soon coming in was this figure.

It sorta looked human as it did have a human form but it’s skin was like a dolphin or a sharks, it had long claw-like nails with webbing between each finger.  It hissed at us and the Doctor quickly improvised and directed the TARDIS in a sudden right jolt.

The creature went towards the wall but it kept its eyes locked right on us.

“Doctor the doors!” I cried out.  He looked towards the doors to still see them open.

“Hang on and don’t let go whatever you do! Just hang on tight to the railing!” I nodded and he tried as best as he could through the wind of the time vortex we were still spinning through.  I kept my eyes on the Doctor unaware that the creature was slowly crawling up towards me.

Suddenly I felt this painful grip on my forearm and slowly claw down it.  I let out a cry and I turned to see the creature standing right before me.  It hissed at me revealing razor sharp teeth, it’s black soulless eyes staring deeply into mine.

“Doctor!” I cried out.  Then without warning, the creature dug its claws into the back of my hands and pushed me outward forcing me to fly out of the TARDIS, barely hearing the Doctor calling out my name.  Then I guess I must’ve blacked out because I couldn’t remember anything after that.

When I finally came back around, the first thing I felt was cold and something wet.  When I slowly opened my eyes, I saw nothing but white powder in front of me, as well as flakes falling onto my face.

Slowly I got up and found myself in London, or at least I hoped it was.

“Doctor? Doctor!?” I called out.  I looked down at my hands to see they had indented claw marks and were bleeding.  As a wind chill blew across me, I began shivering and I walked out of the alleyway to see people walking along the streets with shopping bags.

‘Okay so I know I’m on Earth, or at least I think I am. But when exactly am I?’ I thought to myself.  I thought if I kept walking then maybe I could find a store or something to shed some light on where and when I am.

I walked along and I could see Big Ben as well as the London eye, okay so I am in London. And based on the fashion choices that I saw people walk by in, I could be in the 70’s.  Finally I reached a newspaper stand and I quickly grabbed a newspaper and read the date.

December 19th, 1975.  Okay so I was one day and 44 years into the past, thank god for that at least.  I mean I could’ve landed somewhere far worse.  But what happened to the Doctor? And just what was that thing that attacked us? As I went to turn around I bumped into someone.

“Sorry I—I was looking where I was…..”

“No problem love, it was an accident.” That voice it—it couldn’t be.  I looked up and the first thing I see are those entrancing blue eyes and long golden hair that shined like the sun.

“You’re—you’re……” I was completely starstruck because standing right before me was none other than Roger Taylor.

“Roger Taylor? Yes, I’m going to assume you’re a fan of Queen?” I softly nodded.  Oh my god I can’t believe that I’m standing in front of the Roger Taylor.

I mean—it was because of him I became interested in the drums.  Shortly after I left the gang life behind; since I had always been a Queen fan since childhood, my nana bought me my first ever drumkit after my six months of being clean of the violent outbursts.  She thought I could do have a better outlook banging the drums instead of banging with another gang.

His style of drumming has always fascinated me and sometimes I would try to copy some of his solos as best I could, and I’ll say that I’m a pretty decent drummer but I’ll never be up to his level of drumming.

“Well since you seem to know my name, may I know yours?”

“Uhh (y)—(y/n).”

“It’s nice to meet you (y/n).” he held out his hand for me to take.  I was nervous to take his hand but I didn’t want him to think that I was a bitch. Hopefully the bleeding has stopped, so I reached out and I took his hand.  Unfortunately he immediately noticed the blood.  “(Y/n)….what happened to your hand?”

“Oh well I—I was…..a cat scratched me.”

“These don’t look like any cat scratches I know. And believe me Freddie has over 7 and I’ve been scratched by almost all of them at some point in time.” He then tucked some hair away from my face and he continued, “Be honest love, I won’t judge you but I need to know. Did—did some arsehole…..assault you?” Well to a degree but not in the way he was implying, but how do you tell your idol that? So to kinda put him at ease I whipped up a quick excuse.

“Well…..I—they just came out of nowhere…. I-I-I tried to stop them but they…..”

“Ohh you poor thing,” he cooed as he gently embraced me.  “Come with me. I can help heal those scratches and make you a warm cuppa, eh?” I nodded and he then guided me towards the Hammersmith Odeon.

When we got there, I’ll be honest that I couldn’t believe that I was in the actual Hammersmith Odeon theater.  Cause back—well forward in my time it’s called the Hammersmith Apollo and it’s mostly shown dance acts, and live performances for comedians.

“First aid’s in the dressing room. That’s the last known place I know it was at when Fred was dealing with some blisters the other day.” He guided me towards backstage and I saw dozens of roadies and other volunteers and workers getting ready for sound checks, probably for a rehearsal.  “Here we are.”

Roger opened the door and guided me inside. Already I saw four sections of the big dressing room where each band member got ready.  I saw from the photo of Veronica holding baby Robert that the section I was standing near was Deacy’s corner.

Just ahead where the red special was and what appeared to be an astronomy book was Brian’s place.  And of course the one where dozens of cat pictures along with the beautiful Mary Austin’s picture was Freddie’s.

“Okay let’s see; first aid, first aid, first aid.” Roger muttered as he went through Freddie’s side.  Lifting up various music sheets, journals and drawers. “Damnit Fred where the bloody hell did you put it—Ah-ha there you are!” He then pulled out an old school style first aid kit. “Right have a seat over here love.”

“I—I don’t know. I mean am I even allowed to be in here?”

“No not really but this is an emergency. So come on, sit. I don’t bite.” Cautiously I walked further in the dressing room and sat down in Freddie’s seat. “Okay let’s see here, we’ll need antiseptic cream, and…bandages.”  He took out the cream first and he told me to show him my hands.

He then began to doctor up both my hands, but just before he put the first aid kit away, he noticed that my right sleeve was stained with blood.  He carefully rolled it up and that’s when I saw the four long scratches that went from just an inch or two below my elbow to my wrist.

“Oh my god love. I—I’ve never seen a weapon do something like this, what did they use?”

“I—I couldn’t see what it was. Is it bad?”

“I don’t think so. But let me go a bowl of water, and a couple of towels to see what we’re dealing with here. Blood always makes things seem worse than what they are. Just stay here for a moment okay?” I nodded and he smiled at me before exiting the dressing room.

Once he came back with items, he set them down on the table and gently guided my arm over the bowl and dipped one of the towel into the water.  He wrung it out and slowly began dabbing away the blood.  I hissed on occasion and with each hissed, he apologized.  Once the blood was cleared away, he dabbed the dry towel over my wet forearm before carefully observing it.

“Well they don’t look too deep for stitches, otherwise we’d need to call the hospital.”

“Yeah, thank god.” I was grateful for that because I won’t even be born until 30 years from now so there’s no way any hospital would have my records.

“Hey (y/n), if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly happened?”

“It—it’s honestly a blur to me Roger. I was—just minding my business with a friend of mine then next thing I knew we got jumped and….oh shit my friend he….he doesn’t know where I am! I-I have to find him!”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey (y/n), (y/n) calm down. Deep breaths for me.” He gently calmed me down and got me to take a few deep breaths. Man, who would’ve thought the Roger Taylor would be the one comforting me during a freak out episode.

“Sorry.” I muttered.

“No, no don’t apologize at all. Look let’s get you healed up first, and then we can think about finding your friend, alright?” I nodded and he said as he gently cupped the side of my face and gingerly thumbed across my cheek “Atta girl.”  Suddenly the door opened and a voice said.

“Whoa were we interrupting anything here my darlings?” Oh my god—no way. It was him, it was really him.  Freddie Fucking Mercury. Vibrant and young Freddie Mercury. Alongside him I saw Brian May to his left and John Deacon was to the right.

“No not at all guys.”

“Whose this?” asked Brian.

“This is (y/n). I found her—well actually she ran into me while I was at the newsstand. Shortly after she got jumped by some thugs.”

“Oh you poor darling!” Freddie cooed as he raced up towards me. “Who were the bastards that did this to you? You give me descriptions and I’ll fucking murder them!”

Aww, I can’t believe that after just meeting me not even 10 seconds, Freddie’s already wanting to defend my honor and beat up the fake thugs that did this to me.  All those interviews of people calling Freddie nice, seeing it with my own eyes, they weren’t even close to describing Freddie’s kindness and loyalty.

“It’s alright Freddie, there’s no need for you to go to jail for assault.”

“Well fuck that! Anyone who gangs up on a girl like that deserves to have their arses beaten.” Can’t argue with him on that. Suddenly I felt the stinging sensation of the antiseptic cream go onto my scratches.

“Sorry love.” Roger apologized.

“It’s—alright.”

“Roger give the girl fair warning next time!” Freddie exclaimed.

“Would you like anything to drink (y/n)? Water? Tea?” asked Deacy.

“Well Roger was gonna offer me a warm cuppa.”

“How about a hot chocolate instead. After a night that you had, why not take something a little warmer. Plus nothing cures trauma better than chocolate.” Deacy offered.

“Okay, I can go for a hot chocolate.”

“Coming right up.”

“Lucky duckie. Deacy dear makes the best cup of hot chocolate ever.” Freddie told me.

“Sneaky bastard won’t let us in on how he makes it!” Roger called out.

“Because you lot don’t deserve to know!” Deacy called back as he peeked back in the room before heading back down the hallway to make my hot chocolate.

“Right, time for the bandages.” Roger said.

“Here Rog, I’ll take care of that.” Brian stepped forward and took over the doctoring.  My god if you had told me three years ago that I would be getting doctored by Brian May and Roger Taylor, be served hot chocolate handmade by John Deacon and having Freddie Mercury rub your back comfortingly as your being doctored by the.

I would’ve told you, you were crazy.

As Brian began wrapping my arm up, he looked up at me and asked.

“Too tight?”

“No, no it’s fine.” I assured him.  He softly smiled and kept wrapping my arm up till it covered up the last of my scratches.

“There all done.”

“Thank you Brian.”

“You’re welcome (y/n).” he said with that warm smile of his.  It was then Deacy came walking in with a cup of hot chocolate.

“Here you go (y/n), I just took it out of the microwave so be careful.” I took the cup between my hands and allowed the hot mug to warm up my cold, numbing hands.  I blew on it before taking a light sip.

Holy shit the guys weren’t kidding. I mean at first my nana’s hot chocolate was always the best but now I’m starting to think Deacy’s overpowers my nana’s special recipe.

“Oh my god, this is so good.”

“Glad you like it dear.”

“I mean—I think you just kicked my nana’s famed recipe out the window.”

“Well I mean no disrespect to your nana.” Deacy said apologetically.

“No, no, no hell if she were here, she’d be wanting to get your recipe herself.” Deacy smiled that sweet, eye crinkled smile as he softly chuckled.

“Not only the best bass player we could find but also the best hot chocolate maker we could ask for.” Freddie praised as he placed an arm around Deacy’s neck.  Aww my god I can’t believe I’m witnessing firsthand of the bond these two shared. No wonder why Deacy left after Freddie died.

“Oh stop it you old tart.”

“Ahh Brian! Deacy’s using those dirty words again!” Freddie whined out.

“Hey lads, the manager’s closing up the stadium for the night if you all are done for the night.” Queen’s future manager Jim Beach came into the dressing room.

“Thank you Miami.” Freddie said.

“Do you have a place to stay tonight (y/n)?” asked Brian.

“Uhh well I—”

“Yes. As we were on our way here I told her that she could stay with me for tonight. Just in case those thugs try and find her again.” Roger spoke as he wrapped an arm around me.  I looked to Roger and he looked down at me assuringly and winked at me.

“Well then let’s get a move on. I’d rather not be locked up in here over night.” Deacy said.

“Well said Deacy. Not like back in Atlanta eh?” Freddie teased.

“I thought we vowed to never talk about that!” Deacy snapped.  As the guys walked on ahead, Roger and I lagged behind and I asked him.

“You sure it’s okay for me to stay with you?”

“Yeah. I’ve got an extra bed in my room. Plus I don’t want you to be out in the streets in the middle of winter.”

“Thanks Roger. But what will I do about clothes?”

“I’ll let you borrow some small clothes as pajamas for tonight. Then tomorrow Freddie and I can help you shop for some clothes. Maybe we can also find that friend of yours.” I smiled softly and said.

“I—don’t know what to say.”

“Say nothing, c’mon let’s get back to the hotel and into bed. You’ve had a long night and look like you could use some rest.” We then got into the car and the driver drove the five of us back to the hotel. Roger guided me towards his room and using his key, he allowed me in first.

It was a pretty big sized room with two beds as he said, a small telly and a closet.  Roger went inside and muttered to himself before finally pulling out a plain black t-shirt and some sweats.

“Here, these are too small for me, hopefully they’ll do you some good. The loo’s just over there.” He pointed towards the jointed room beside the bed farthest from the window.  I walked inside of it and changed out of my clothes and into Roger’s old stuff.

The pants were obviously a little too long but the shirt fit snug around me.  I then went over to the mirror and looked down at my bandaged arm.

“Oh Doctor, I hope you’re alright. Where—whenever you are.” I don’t know what that thing was that attacked but I prayed that he was alright and somehow managed to lose it.

“(Y/n)? You okay in there?” I heard Roger’s voice say.

“Yeah, yeah Roger I’m good.” I then stepped out of the loo and Roger looked me over.

“Not bad, I’ll give the pants a trim so that they’re not dragging across the floor tomorrow. Then tomorrow when Freddie and I take you out, we’ll get you some clothes that will fit you.”

“Do you think he’ll want to join us?” I asked

“Absolutely. Besides he looks for any excuse to shop and he’s better at picking clothes than me. I just pick what matches based off of fabric, damn eyesight.”  That I did know for a fact.  But I chose to act like I didn’t know that fact.

“Thanks again for all that you’ve done for me tonight.”

“Again love, no thanks are necessary. I just hope your friend didn’t get into the squabble you were in.”

“I hope so too.” I muttered before letting out a long yawn.  Roger softly chuckled.

“It’s getting late, why don’t you get some sleep?” I nodded and walked over to the bed that was closest to the radiator.  I tucked myself in and almost immediately fell asleep on the old, lumpy mattress.

*Roger’s POV*

Even though she had taken my bed next to the radiator, I didn’t have the heart to move her.  After the night she’s been through, she deserved to have as much comfort as possible.  

After taking my nightly shower and changing into my pajamas I looked over at (y/n) hoping that we would find her friend in good health, cause if (y/n) managed to get away with scratches like those, then I pray her friend’s not worse.

[throtegote]

Bigfoot in Bots

(If you’d like to read this off my wix blog here’s the link:https://erikatriesall.wixsite.com/tlhodia)

I remember a friend advising me to get my prom shoes from Options and thinking, “yeah sure, let me just saw my toes off real quick,” because there is no way I could fit in anything there otherwise.

Hi, I’m Erika. And as you may have guessed by now, I have large feet.

No, I do not wear size 13 Nikes (men’s size 13 Nikes) but by comparison to most people in my country, at a size 9.5/10 UK, I’m substantially above average. Retailers and boutiques here stock shoe sizes from 1 to either 6 or 7 and the larger the size, the harder it is to find it. An 8 in the women’s section is a rarity and a 9 that isn’t sneakers or granny shoes? Get down on your knees and sing hallelujah because that’s a miracle. Size 10 is unheard of. It doesn’t help that there are no specialist stores for women’s shoes here either.

Although it’s easier to shop for shoes if you’re a guy (because the assumption is that because you are a man, you have larger feet than the average woman), if you are a male with a foot above size 9, welcome to the struggle circle, take a seat, because you too, will find it hard to find sizes here. My dad, who’s around size 11, like me, finds it easier to shop abroad. Unfortunately, my parents do not believe in shopping for clothing and accessories online.

I don’t blame these stores, because it’s a thing of supply and demand. If a lot of the population has tiny feet, then why waste cash on stocking large sizes? It’s all about money, and if everyone else is satisfied and buying, then they don’t really need mine. So, as you’d expect, I own a lot of sneakers from the men’s section or unisex, and all my nice-fitting girly shoes are likely imported (which I don't own a lot of because I need to be present at all times to try the shoes on and uh, trips are expensive.).  When I walk into a shoe store, I don’t browse until I ask a clerk what their maximum size in stock is. And that’s when I’m shopping in a place like South Africa because I’ve given up on shoe shopping in Botswana. I just don’t want to waste anybody’s time.

Shoe shopping used to be an absolute nightmare for me and even though there have been improvements in the local market, and I’ve gotten better at it with age, it’s still a frustrating experience. I kid you not; I used to shed tears while shopping as a nana. In my young girl’s brain, being told “oh, we don’t have your size” was on the list of the top 5 worst types of rejection. A lot of store clerks were nice enough to check in the back for a shoe I really liked but some would widen their eyes do the loud “*gasp* So big?! Ah! Men’s section is that side”.

That hurt like a bitch.

About two years ago we had a family trip to Kenya (which is where my dad is from, btw) and my dad had promised me I could get my prom heels in advance from there as well as other stuff because his sisters had larger feet than me growing up and they managed to get shoes with little difficulty. So our assumption was that Kenyan women have larger feet on average than those in Botswana. Yeah no, I still struggled. 4 whole shopping malls in one day and nothing. At my grown age, by mall number 3 I was blinking back tears and I just wanted to go back to the hotel and not waste any more of everyone's time. I felt played and betrayed.

My feet were one of my first insecurities and they’ve been a struggle to keep up with all my life. I just remember going from having normal feet for my age, to fitting very snug in my mom’s high heel shoes to only wearing men’s sneakers. In what felt like a minute.

And as a growing kid I probably pinched a lot on my parent's wallets because I'd outgrow a new pair of shoes in like three months. Oops.

I also remember getting teased quite a bit in primary school too, especially by boys. “Bigfoot” was iconic, I sort of fit all the criteria by being large footed and hairy “like a Sasquatch”. It didn’t help that at over 5"2 I was taller and bigger than a lot of my classmates. At the time it’d get to me so much because my feet were a new development that kept developing and as a kid, the last thing I wanted was to be registered as an anomaly or a freak. Unlike body hair or acne, there’s nothing you can really do about your height or the size of your feet and that fact devastated me. I don’t think any young girl wants to hear their crush referring to them as a gorilla. Just rip out my self-esteem and toss it in the trash on the way out, why don’t you?

Looking back, I think I intimidated a lot of boys in my classes, especially those who believed that there’s a direct correlation between shoe and penis size. (*puts foot next to mine*, “Bro if you were a dude you’d be packing!”… thanks, I guess?) They were probably mad that I was showing more “masculine” physical traits than them- but to be honest they were all little bitches. And that’s on fragile masculinity. jkjkjk... or am I?

Now I’m older and a lot more mature, so I’ve learned to accept my “Sasquatch” feet. I've also learned that they aren’t abnormal at all and in a lot of other countries I’d be able to go shoe shopping freely. As a matter of fact, as a species our feet are growing bigger with each decade on average. Unlike your weight or your haircut, you can’t change your bone structure to give you smaller feet.

Go ahead, tell those nanas that they’re just mad that you’d be packing shmeat if you were a guy. Flex on the girls who think shopping for shoes in the children's section at 16 is a personality trait. Wear those boots; trust me, you don’t look like a clown. Embrace the big feet. Take care of them. Sure, you slap the road when you walk but hey, you get places faster so that’s dope. Your feet don't define your femininity, no matter how many people will try to make you think so.

What’s your odd experience with shoe shopping/ big feet? We’d love to hear. Like, comment and follow for more stuff like this

xoxo

Erika

[galaxy-holland-blog]

You and I against the world. -2

pairing: Tom Holland x OC

AU: single dad!

summary: “I love you to infinity and beyond, no matter what, above all else”

warnings: teenage pregnancy, abortion, adoption, bad language, a truckload of fluff.

part 1

The pair got in to their seats and Tom looked across to his daughter. “Alright?” He asked, reaching over and tucking some hair behind her ear. She shook her head and began to cry once more. “No! I can’t do this, dad. I can’t do this” he leaned over to her seat and pulled her into his arms. “can’t do what?” He whispered, stroking her hair and kissing her head. “Any of it. I can’t have a baby, I can’t give up a baby...I just want it all to go away” she cried. 

“Sweet pea, you can make it stop. You have that choice, and nobody can take it away from you, but you have to say the words. No one is going to decide for you.” 

she whimpered into her fathers chest. “Daddy?” 

“Yes princess?” “Does it hurt them?” “What, princess?” “Will it hurt the baby, if I- if I...you know., like...get rid of it?” “No, darling. It won’t”

 “would it make me a bad person?” She squeaked, not even wanting to think about doing this.

 “Of course not, love.” She pulled away from her dad and nodded slowly. “Is that what you want to do?” He asked.

 “I’m not sure. I need to sleep on it” she replied. “Ok, little one. let me know if you’ve made a decision, yeah?” she nodded slowly, clearing her throat. “and I’ll get everything sorted out” Her father added, while she kept nodding. “Tell you what, let’s go and get ice cream and forget about all this, just for five minutes, eh?” He wiped the tears from her face, and gave a loving smile. She sniffed and nodded, rubbing her nose with her sleeve. “What do you think you’re gonna get?” Tom asked his daughter, in the queue for ice cream. There were dozens of flavors, all brightly colored, speckled with chocolate chips or pieces of fruit. Tom had his eye on the mango and coconut. “I think this one, with chocolate sauce” she said with a smile, pointing to the vanilla ice cream with smarties in it.

 “Ooh that looks nice. I think I’m gonna go for the mango one. Or maybe rum and raisin....Wait I can’t decide!” Tom gasped and bit his lip with mock dramatics. His daughters soft giggle rang through his ears and made his heart flutter. His sweet little girl who was his reason for living. His rock and his savior. He couldn’t quite believe that his baby was facing the same problems her mother had, seventeen years ago. 

He remembered the tears and the fighting. He didn’t want it to be like that for her. He swore, on the day she was born, that she would always be loved, protected and supported, unconditionally. He’d be damned if that was a promise he couldn’t keep.

 “Why are you staring at me?”

 She asked with a nervous chuckle. Tom smiled. “I just can’t believe I made something so perfect” he beamed and his daughter flushed. “I’m not perfect, dad” she mumbled, rolling her eyes. He kept smiling.

 “You are. You are so perfect, my darling.” Tom chuckled slightly as he spoke. “Dad! Stop!” She whined with embarrassment. Hiding her face again and shying away. “Why? I want to remind my beautiful girl that she is the most amazing human being on the planet” Tom grinned from ear to ear watching the smile creep on to his daughters face. 

“I’m so lucky to have you. you turned my life around, you know that?” 

“Dad! you’re embarrassing me” she whined, dragging her feet along the floor as they moved forward in the queue.

“Sorry. I love you, a lot, is all” He chuckled faintly and wrapped an arm around his daughters shoulders.

“I know, dad. I love you too.”

Mango ice cream dripped down Tom’s hand as it started to melt. he licked the stickiness off to deter the wasps from descending on to the small family. the sea breeze whipped through their hair as they both stared at the sea crashing onto the rocks a few meters away.

“when you were little, me and Nana used to bring you here. you would insist on strawberry ice cream, every time. but most of the time I’d end up giving you whatever I had, only for you to smear half on your face, and then fall asleep with it dripping down your clothes.”

the girl smiled, a faint memory of her father peeling off her ruined shirt and carrying her home in a sugar coma, replayed in her mind. “I’ve always been a diva, haven’t I?” she giggled.

“I wouldn’t say diva. spoiled brat, definitely.”

“oi! I am not spoiled!” she gasped in a sarcastic tone and stared, wide eyed, at her father.

“oh you totally are. but you’re my brat, so I’ll spoil you as much as I like” Tom stuck his tongue out at the love of his life, and went back to eating his ice cream. his daughter rolled her eyes and took a big bite out of the dessert.

“I don’t know how you can do that” her father taunted.

“do what?” she teased, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Eat it with your teeth! its freaky. is it not hurting you?”

“Not really” she smirked. Tom shook his head in disbelief 

“you weirdo”

she laughed almost manically and continued to chomp on her ice cream. 

one of the windsurfers caught the teens eye. the way she sped through the water, her board skipping over the waves while the sail flapped in the wind. she could feel her fathers gaze from next to her and chose to ignore it, afraid of what he might say if she acknowledged his questioning eyes. 

That evening, she went to bed as usual, her father following a few hours later.

He tip toed down the hallway, trying not to wake his daughter, or Tessa, who would surely bark like mad if her slumber was disturbed. a strange sound registered with Tom as he walked past the only other occupied bedroom in the house. he took a few steps back, towards the door and he instantly recognized the sniffling and high pitched cry of his little girl. Tom’s paternal instinct took over and he rushed into the room, to see his daughter wrapped up in her duvet and shaking as she sobbed. 

“sweet pea? what’s the matter darling?” he whispered in a soothing tone and crept towards her bed. “J-justin.. tex-texted m-me and-d he...he...knows the g-g-guy that I, I slept with. h-he...he...called me a sl-slut.” 

 “oh love...does he know about the baby?” Tom asked, carefully wrapping his arms around the girl. 

“No...” she squeaked and shook her head. “but he said its over... so I guess it doesn't matter anyway” she turned her head to look at her dad. “he called me”

 Tom furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “who?”

“the father”

“Oh. what did he say?” Tom pulled her closer and she whimpered quietly in his arms.

“he asked if it was true. if I was pregnant. fucking Jessie. she was the only person who knew. she told the guy, Archie. anyway... I said yeah. and that it was his...and he told me he wanted nothing to do with it.”

“sweetheart I’m so sorry”  Tom whispered.

“It’s fine dad. I’m not keeping it anyway” she croaked.

Tom gave a sympathetic smile. “you sure?” he asked. she simply nodded and moved closer to her father. “Ok gorgeous. I’ll get you an appointment in the morning.” he left gentle kisses on her head and shed a few discreet tears for his little girl. 

“Miss Holland?” her name was called in to a waiting room once again and she followed a nurse to a small white room, that smelled of toothpaste. before the nurse shut the door, she turned briefly back to her dad, who was not allowed to accompany her during the procedure. he gave the same short smile he always gave, and mouthed “love you”. she smiled back and trudged in to the room.

“So, miss. this will be very quick and not too painful, and you should feel right as rain by Monday. if you could change into this please”  The over enthusiastic nurse handed her a white hospital gown. “I’ll be back in just a tick” she beamed, freaking the girl out a little. when the door swung shut,  she began undressing and neatly folding the clothes she took off.

in the waiting room, tom sat with his leg bouncing anxiously. he was annoyed that he couldn’t be with his daughter. he felt himself well up as he questioned if she would be in pain, or be scared, with no one there to hold her hand. he mentally cursed the boy who put his baby in this situation. vowing that if he ever had a son, he would teach them to be better.

she sat on the cold leather chair, wearing her white gown, shaking with anxiety and suddenly second guessing every decision that lead her here. there were three doctors in the room, all filling out forms and laying out scary looking instruments. the curtains of the room were still open, and she looked outside.

there was an older man walking his dog, and three boys around her age, sitting on the railings, blasting tinny rap music from their Iphones. in the corner of her eye, she spotted a young couple, pushing a purple pram, with a smiley little girl sitting in it. she smiled to herself, admiring the happiness of the family. 

as one of the fathers adjusted his coat, she noticed a tiny newborn, in a baby carrier. the slightly taller father leant over and kissed the baby's head, before breaking into a run with the pushchair.

“miss? are you ready?” the doctors voice shook her away from her distractions and suddenly filled her heart with regret.

“No....wait...no”

“miss?”

“I changed...I...I changed my mind. I don’t want to... I changed my mind”

“Would you like a few more minutes to think about it?”

“No! I want my dad! I want to go home!” 

the girl grew more panicked by the second and one of the doctors rushed out to retrieve tom.

“that’s ok, you can change your mind, that’s fine”

 the doctor tried to calm her down as Tom raced down the hallway to get to his daughter. 

“angel! are you ok? i’m here, baby, i’m here.” Tom rushed over to the girl and she broke down in his arms. 

“I wanna go home! I want my baby and I wanna go home!” she cried, and Tom held her tighter. 

“shh, darling. it’s alright. you’ve got your baby, sweetheart. we can go home if you want to”

 she wailed again, finally letting all the pressure out. “I wanna keep him! please let me keep him!” she begged her father, grasping at his shirt.

 “of course, sweetheart. you can keep him, love. you can keep him”

The actor and his daughter sat in fluffy pajamas, bingeing friends and eating popcorn. there had been no more discussions since leaving the clinic. he knew the girl needed to calm down before she confirmed her decision.

“Dad?”

“yes, baby?”

“will you teach me?”

“teach you what?”

“how to look after a baby”

“of course I will, princess. we’re gonna get through this. together”

[kelphero47]

Drop pop candy - Lavashipping

Back again with another songfic of my OTP. Based on the song by reol. Check out the companion picture done by shelbot98.

https://shelbot98.tumblr.com/post/166400804309/this-is-a-request-and-cover-for-my-middle-sister#notes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is so stupid.

Kai knew this was stupid.

The Ninja had been called to help catch a mysterious figure who had been attacking young girls in a local park in Ninjago City. They had made a plan to lure them out. Nya had originally volunteered to act as bait but after they learned the attacker had a thing for targeting short brunettes. Jay had then stepped up, having already been dressed up like a girl before, yet he was too tall to fit the description. So, the task had been given to Kai, the shortest of the group (much to his annoyance), and he was not at all pleased.

Kai  had been dressed up in an outfit Nya helped him pick out to help make  him look younger and makeup which helped covered his scar while making him look 'cuter' as his sister put it. The worst part however was the fact that the others had made her brush his hair down so that his fringe covered his right eye. The icing on the cake being a large bow attached to the top of the back of his head to complete the look. He looked like a girl. He didn't feel pretty though.

That plan brought him to his current situation as he was standing out in the rain with his umbrella. Waiting. The short skirt blew in the breeze as it brushed past part of his knees not covered by his socks. He was walking around the area by himself as the others hung back to watch if anything happened.

It was so boring.

Kai sighed as he turned a corner to a more unused section of the park. The rain pitter-pattered against the leaves of trees before falling gracefully to the ground. The sound was constant and calm. Until it was interrupted by something a lot more interesting. He followed the noise to a stray box on the ground, damp from the downpour.

Inside  said box was a kitten no bigger than his hand. It was the most adorable  thing he'd ever seen. It made small sounds at his arrival as raindrops  hit its head. Kai smiled at the tiny creature. He took pity on it and  placed his umbrella down over the box to shield it.

Amefuri demo kasa wa sasanai no  'Even when it's raining, I don't use an umbrella'

(Hajimemashite to neko wa naku)  '(The cat meow "It's a pleasure to meet you")'

Okiniiri no hiiru o nurasu no  'My beloved high heels get soaked'

He  kneeled down in front of it as the raindrops began to soak into his  clothes. The heels he was wearing scraped across the floor, they were  going to be ruined after this. Kai reached out a hesitant hand towards  the kitten which it sniffed before nuzzling into the outstretched  appendage. He  laughed when it began to lick his fingers, "Hello there." He cooed,  almost sweetly, which made the kitten meow loudly in response.  

"What's  your name?" He asked as he picked up the small creature carefully in  his palm and brought it in front of his face. It was a pure black with  soft brown eyes that stared at him in wonder. It reminded him of...

Cole.

Thinking  of the earth ninja made him smile more. He had also been displeased  with the decision to use Kai as bait but had been quite happy seeing him  in his current clothing, despite his earlier protests. The two had yet  to start dating as Kai was too nervous to make the first move, in case  he was wrong in reading the others feelings about him, so he waited. Sometimes he was tired of waiting.

Nanigenai you na nichijou ga ima hora  'See now, how the run-of-the-mill everyday life'

Kawaritai to aiiro ni somari dasu   'Is being dyed in blue as if wanting to change'

It was the same every day.  The same longing stares, the same nervous interactions, the same   lingering touches. But, somehow neither of them had made any move to   take it further. Kai blamed himself for that. He was hesitant.

He  was brought out of his thoughts by the kitten shifting in his hands and  move closer to his face. It leaned forward to the point it could lick  in nose. Kai giggled at that as he brushed his thumb over the kitten's  cheek, which it seemed to enjoy.

Mizutamari ni utsuru ichibyou kan  'That one second when it appears in the puddle'

Tada ichido kono me de mite mitai dake nano  'I just want to see it one time with my own eyes, that's all'

"You  know what? You remind me of someone." Kai explained to the kitten,  despite knowing it wouldn't understand him. "Yeah, he's strong and  considerate and always looking out for me. We're just friends at the moment, but you  know... Anything can happen." The kitten seemed to respond as it gave  another loud meow. "You'd like him and he'd like you, hopefully."

"And I'd like you."

Odoru yo sekai ga yuraide mawaru no!  'I am dancing, the whole wide world shaking up goes round and round!'

Todoku yo sokudo o agete  'We will reach it, so let's pick up the speed'

Kai  jumped at the new addition to the one-sided conversation between him  and the kitten. The voice was silky smooth and smug to the point it sent  shivers down his spine. He turned around to see a man slightly older  than him leant against a tree leering at him. For obvious reasons he  didn't like that look. Kai held the kitten closer as he stood up to fully face the stranger, "Hello."

"You lost, Hot Stuff? You're a little off the beaten path." The man questioned giving Kai a not very subtle look over. "And wet."

"Well... I.. Um..." Kai hesitated in responding as the other stepped forward into his personal space, "Could you back up a little bit?"

"I don't think I will." The man smirked as Kai tried to back away himself only to stop when his heels hit the box behind him, "The name's Jonah. What's yours?"

"Kai."  He glanced around hoping the others were going to make an entrance  soon. This guy had to be the attacker, he could feel it.

"As in 'water'?" Jonah asked jokily as he re-enter Kai's personal space.

"As in 'fire'," Kai explained as the kitten in his hands gave a loud meow.

Kakedashitai no ashita made hitottobi  'I just want to break out and run until tomorrow in one fell swoop'

Kinou no kare mo asayake mo inai kedo sore de sore de ii no  'Although the guy from yesterday isn't here in the early morning light, that's okay, that's all okay'

"What's that?" Jonah reached for Kai's hands  before the ninja took off running. He didn't trust that guy. Said guy  smirked at his actions as he muttered to himself, "Oh, she'll do  nicely." Kai didn't look behind him as he ran for the main path and out  of the dense tree canopy. Where were the others? Why weren't they here  yet? They said they'd be just out of view for when he needed them, well  he needed them right now.

He  heard Jonah's footsteps calmly walking behind him. God, why were his  legs so short? He hated tall people sometimes, and Jonah was a good  couple heads taller than him. He was almost as tall as...

Cole.

zutto tsuzuiteku kitto susunderu  'Always keep on going, it's definitely moving forward'

Motto aishiteru! Hibi o kimi o  'I love you more and more! With every day, with you'

Why  was everything reminding him of Cole today, he sounded like a love  struck teenage girl. Uh, now was not the time. Kai finally looked back  at Jonah to find him not even there. He slowed down almost to a complete  stop as he surveyed the area around him. His focus was broken by  another loud meow from the small creature nestled safely in his arms.

This  lapse in concentration meant he didn't notice the presence behind him  until it was pressed up against his back. Kai spun around to come face  to face with Jonah's chest which made him stumble back. The wet floor  allowed his heels to skid and his legs to fall out from under him. He  met the ground with a thud as Jonah loomed over him.

Isso nana koronde nankai okiagatte  'And just fall over and over, then get back up many times'

Sou yatte mata kyou o omoi aeteru  'By doing this we can again love one another today'

The kitten escaped his grip to stand on his lap. It hissed at Jonah as he crouched in front of Kai. He swatted the animal away making it skid across the floor until it hit the dirt the other side  of the path. Kai moved to go help it until Jonah wrapped a hand around  the back of his neck to hold him in place. He kept still as the other  moved closer so that he was once again pressed up against his back. He  felt his breath on his ear and heard him inhale deeply through his nose.  "You smell wonderful..." Jonah sighed as he tapped the bow on the back  of Kai's head. "All wrapped up like a present for me to open... And I think I will."

Before Kai could respond a foul smelling rag was placed over his mouth and nose. He held his breath for as long as he could until the need for air became too strong and he was forced to take a deep, gasping breath. Without him wanting to, his vision began to fade to total darkness.

*Time skip*

Jay had been sent to check up on Kai as the others hung around at their temporary  base at the park caretaker's shed. Nothing had happened yet so they  were preparing to give up for the day when he came back in a frantic  mess. All they understood from his rambling were the words 'Kai' and  'gone' before they were out of the door.

The group of ninja   didn't stop running until they reached the quiet path where Kai once   stood.  His umbrella rested on the ground above a box but the area held no other evidence of his existence there. Cole was the first of them to go for the object, as the others spread out around the area, before he heard a quiet noise beside him.  He glanced down to see a ball of fluff shaking on the wet floor. It let  out another pitiful noise as he crouched down beside it.

He registered it was a kitten by the meow it let out when he touched  it. Cole tentatively picked it up to bring it in front of his face. It  looked up at him with curious eyes and he smiled at it. He knew it was  stupid but he couldn't stop himself from asking, "Have you seen my friend, Kai?"  

What he didn't expect to happen was for it to meow loudly as if responding to him. He knew it was crazy, "You have?" He almost cried  when it meowed again, "So do you know where he is?" It fell at that  question and Cole actually felt tears rolling down his face at that  point.

Hoho o tsutau kanojo no shizuku wa  'The water droplets that are trailing down along her cheeks'

(Mite minai furi neko wa naku)  '(The cat meows pretending not to see)'

Utsumuita sink taikutsu narabeta  'Looking down the sink the boredom starts piling up'

"Cole... Are you talking to a  cat?" Lloyd's concerned voice came from behind him as he clung to the  tiny animal in his hands. He could hear the entire group behind him  before he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. Cole looked over his   shoulder to see Zane crouching next to him as the others all held   expressions of confusion, "Are you alright?"

"No...  I'm not." Cole held out the feline in front of him, "He doesn't know  where Kai is." He explained as the others looked between themselves,  unsure what to do.

Yasashisa de tsumugareta uso demo  'That we're spun out of the yarn of kindness'

Kanashimi ni irodorareta jitsu demo  'And even the truth that has been taken by sadness'

"Why... Would a cat know where Kai is?" Jay asked chuckling nervously at the end.

"I  don't know." Cole shrugged before resting his hands on his lap in  defeat. He felt so useless. Useless to help the sweetest person in his  life. The person he loved. They just didn't know it yet. "He was taken  and we weren't here. We promised we'd be right here, protecting him!" He  yelled making the others wince, they knew what he said was true.

They stood there in an awkward silence as their friend broke down on the ground. Nya leant her head on Jay's shoulder seeking comfort, "What are going to do?"

Mizutamari ni sawagu amatsubu no  'The raindrops acting out in the puddle of water'

Fuchi o sotto yubisaki de nazoru you  'As if your finger tips are gently tracing the edge'

Cole  looked up at this point to seek answers from the group at Nya's  question. Lloyd decided to step up at this point with a determined look  etched on his face, "We're going to find him."

"But how?" Jay questioned as he patted Nya on the side of the head.

Egaite kanadete kirameku negai ga kanau yo!  'Draw it out, play it out. Sparkling wishes will be granted!'

Todoku yo koudo o agete  'We will reach it, so let's raise the altitude'

"It would be logical to assume whoever took Kai would have to live nearby. After all,  for Kai to be taken he would either have to overpowered drastically to  point he wouldn't put up a fight or somehow knocked out." Zane concluded  as he surveyed the area, "With  the surrounding area still being intact we can assume no major fight  went on and he was mostly likely surprised allowing the latter option to  occur. Either way carrying around an unconscious person would be  suspicious so their home would have to be close as not to draw too much  attention."

"That's right!" Lloyd smiled as he reached to help Cole off the floor while addressing the entire team. "So, all we have to do is ask around the neighbourhood for... What was their description again?"

"Authorities presume the attacker to be a male, large build and possibly in his late teens to early twenties." Zane listed off word for word.

"A person matching that description and we're bound to get leads." Lloyd explained hoisting the earth ninja to his feet.

*Time skip*

Kai had woken up in this dark room hours ago. He had been placed on a surprisingly soft bed in what  looked like a completely ordinary bedroom. Except the door was made of  what seemed like steel and his wrists had been chained to the bedposts. Jonah had yet to make an appearance, much to Kai's relief, as he lay on the bed.

Kakenuketai no uchuu made hitottobi  'I just want to break out and make it into space in one fell swoop'

Ukabeta hoshi mo tsuki ni mo aenai kedo sore de sore de ii no  'Even though I cannot go and meet the stars and moon up above, that's okay, that's all okay'

The only indicator to anything outside of the room was  a window on the far wall which shone with moonlight. He flinched when  he heard a click echo through the room as the door was opened from the  other side. Kai didn't look in his direction when Jonah entered the  room, still leering at him, "Evening Beautiful."

"F**k off." Kai snapped as he pulled on his restraints, "Where am I?"

"Somewhere  safe... Where we can be alone." Jonah waved off his questions  nonchalantly as he moved to sit beside Kai on the bed. He raised a hand  to the exposed skin of his thigh to caress it lightly with his thumb.  Kai's breath hitched as he moved the offending appendages  under his skirt to feel more skin, "Such a vulgar mouth you have  though... I wonder what other kinds of naughty noises it can make."

"You dare and I'll kill you." He growled as the other continue to slide his hand up further.

"As if you could in this situation." Jonah laughed as he grabbed his ass, "Just enjoy yourself, I certainly know I will."

"Y-You know I'm a g-guy, right?" Kai stuttered as his face heated up at the others unwanted touches.

"I know..." Jonah leaned in close to whisper in his ear, "And that just makes this better." Kai shivered as he blew against the shell of his ear. He felt them lick it before moving to do the same to his neck causing him to gasp, "Looks like someone's sensitive."  

He  tried to think of anything other than being in that room, under the  control of this nutcase. He thought about the kitten he met earlier, his  friends and Cole. They all must be looking for him by now. The thought  warmed his heart. Cole was trying to find him.

Zutto tsuzuiteku kitto susunderu  'Always keep on going, it's definitely moving forward'

Motto aishiteru! Hibi to kimi to  'I love you more and more! With every day and you'

He  wished Cole was here instead of this guy. Holding him close and making  him feel safe. Unlike the sicko feeling him up at the moment making him  feel dirty and ashamed at his own reactions. Kai felt tears roll down  his face as Jonah continued to caress his thighs and lick the expanse of  his neck and shoulders, "P-Please stop."

Isso uzukumatte nankai nakijakutte  'And just crouch down, then cry your eyes out many times'

Sou yatte mata kyou to meguri aeteru  'By doing this we can again see one another today'

"I  don't think I will." Came Jonah's sadistic response as he moved to look  the brunette in the eyes, "Not when you're already crying so sweetly  for me, just begging for it."

"No..." Kai gasped as the hand on his thigh moved the grab onto his underwear but before they could do anything more he screamed at the top of his lungs.

*With the others*

Cole wandered the streets of the small neighbour with his family as they searched for their missing brother. He cradled the now sleeping kitten in his arms, not having the heart to leave it anywhere. He looked up at the sky to admire the moon and the star as they lit up the night sky.

Boku o terashite buruu muun  'Shining brightly upon me, blue moon'

From speaking to various people in the area they had narrowed down their search to a much smaller radius. However,  the late hour meant they had no else to question making the remaining  search harder. He just hoped Kai was okay, wherever he was. Cole had  spent some time during his search thinking about the object of his affections. His smile. His laugh. His passion. All of them warm, like him.

Nagai yume kara mou sameta  'I've already awoken from a long dream'

Asu no hougaku e tsuretette yo!  'Take me away along towards the path of tomorrow!'

Cole didn't have much more time to think about Kai as his thoughts were broken by a blood   curdling scream ripping through the air. That sounded like... "Kai!" He took off in the direction of the sound with the others close behind   him. He just hoped he wasn't too late.

Sokudo o agete  'So let's pick up the speed'

*Back to Kai*

Kai began kicking his   legs about the moment Jonah flinched at his scream. He managed to nail   him in the face before his ankle was grabbed. "Little B***h, can't stay still can you?" Jonah growled as he reached for something under the   bed. Kai turned pale when it turned out to be rope which was used to tie  his ankles together. Jonah laughed as he leaned over him again to get closer to him face, "There we go. Now just stay plenty quiet so I won't have to do the same to that pretty mouth of yours."

"Bite me." Kai could feel his fire bristle at his fingertips, he didn't want to use it this close to a flammable objects.

Kakedashitai no ashita made hitottobi  'I just want to break out and run until tomorrow in one fell swoop'

Kinou no kare mo yuuyake mo inai kedo sore de sore de iino  'Although the guy yesterday isn't here in the late evening glow, that's okay, that's all okay'

"Don't mind if I do." Jonah smirked as he moved to bring  his lips to Kai's neck. He was about to mark to clear, tender flesh  there when a loud crash came from downstairs. His head shot up towards  the door before he glanced between it and the body underneath him.  Sighing, he got up and left the room but not until after he gave the  other a sly warning, "Try to escape and the next part won't be  pleasurable."

Kai  wanted to throw up when the man went out of view, leaving him alone. He  pulled on the chains again, listening them creak under the strain but  not giving way. Instead he turned his attention to a faint conversation  going on far   outside the room. Whoever it was seemed to have pissed off Jonah as he   was far louder than those responding to him. Then it happened.

Zutto tsuzuiteku kitto susunderu  'Always keep on going, it's definitely moving forward'

Another voice yelled back at him in syllables he recognised. It was Cole and he sounded angry. A crash followed the shouting before it sounded as if someone was running up the stairs. They stopped close to the door but made no move to open it. Kai yanked on his restraints once more as he called, "I'm in here!"

The metal of the door proceeded to creak as his rescuer forced open the door. It gave way suddenly to reveal a heavily breathing ninja in black.

Motto aishiteru! Hibi mo kimi mo  'I love you more and more! With each day and you too'

"Kai!" Cole rushed over to the side of the bed, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah..."  Kai sighed as he looked away blushing, "Just get me out of here,  alright." He pulled on the chains around his wrist, "These kind of  hurt."

"Sure." Cole easily broke the metal around his wrists then picked him up bridle style without hesitation. Kai made no move to protest as he buried his head in the crook of the others neck. He was shocked when Cole placed his head on top of his in comfort, "Are you sure you're alright?"

"No..." Kai hiccupped he began crying onto his shoulder, "H-He did things..."

"What kind of 'things'?" Cole questioned, his tone turning darker to match the scowl on his face.

"Like licking me and touching my thighs..." He sniffled clinging to Cole's gi, "And he tried to..."

"To?" Cole coaxed as he felt a wet patch begin to form in the fabric of his uniform. That guy was going to be dead when he was finished with him. When Kai didn't respond he sighed and stroked the back on his head. "Come on now, it's okay. Just tell me what he did?"

Isso nana koronde nankai okiagatte  'And just fall over and over, then get back up many times'

"He tried to touch me 'there'." Kai explained as he tried to pull down the hem of his dress. It took Cole a few moments to understand where 'there' was. When he did however, he felt something in his own head snap. He was almost completely silent as he carried Kai carefully down the stairs and placed him the arms of a bewildered Zane.  

He  then turned his attention to the guy cowering on the floor in front of  the group, "How dare you..." Cole grabbed Jonah by the front of his  shirt to drag him off the ground to rest eye level with him, "How  f**king dare you!"

"Cole, don't-" Lloyd rested a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"No!  This piece of trash deserves what's coming to him." Cole narrowed his  eyes as the man he was holding gripped his wrist in fear.

"He's  not worth it... Just look at him." Lloyd scowled as the man looked at  him desperately, "It's better if we leave the cops to deal with this,  and take Kai home." Cole glanced over to the small teen in the ice  ninja's arms as Nya and Jay began trying to comfort him. He felt his  grip loosen to the point the man fell to the floor.

Sou yatte mata kyou mo meguri aeteru  'By doing this we can again see one another today'

"You're  right... You're right." Cole chuckled dryly at his friends before  moving past him to the others. He watched Nya smooth out her brother's  fringe despite his weak protests. He got closer to stand beside her and  address Zane, "Can I have him back?"

"Of  course." Zane smiled sadly as he gently placed Kai into Cole's waiting  arms, "I took the liberty of removing the rope from around his ankles."

"Thank  you," With those words Cole made his exit out of the front door leaving  the others behind to take out the trash. He smiled as he felt Kai rest  his head on his shoulder and relished in way his eyes were half-lidded. "Is someone tired?"

"Mmmm."  Kai groggily nodded against his shoulder so that his hair tickled his  neck. He shifted so that he was better facing Cole so that they could  look each other in the eyes. Cole couldn't help himself as he kissed Kai  on the top of the head in an affectionate gesture, "Wha-"

"Kai listen,  I've liked you for a while now and today just put into perspective how  easily I could lose you." He explained as Kai made a small frown, "So  please, give me a chance to show how much you mean to me."

"Yes."  Kai smiled as Cole moved in closer to initiate a kiss. They were an  inch apart when a soft noise interrupted them from the confines of the  earth ninja's gi.  "Is that what I think it is?" Kai laughed when Cole blushed reaching   into his uniform to take out a small ball of fur. He giggled when it   uncurled itself to reveal the kitten he had found earlier, "Oh my gosh. You shouldn't have."

"It's nothing."

Omoi atte iku korekara zutto  'Continue to love one another from now on and always'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do make requests for songs and ships if you want. I like a lot of ships.

[smt-here]

That  I Had Hoped

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (female pronoun)

Genre : Angst, tiny bit of fluff

Warning : Major angst, I shed a tear while writing and also cursing

Word Count : 4884 words

A/N : This is the part 2 of ‘That I Have Regretted’, I was really hoping that the part 1 pulled your heartstrings to the point of almost snapping and judging by the comments some of you left me, I kinda did it??? loll anywho I’m also currently writing a romcom for Steve Rogers so make sure to look out for it! for those who wants to be on my taglist, dm me, I might accidentally skip it if you leave a comment on a story so just dm me and tell me that you want to be tagged for my upcoming stories. Btw I might make this into 3 or 4 parts ?? Let me know what you guys think about this story! Your input helps me write even better and if y’all hate looking at my face pls let me know so that I won’t make you guys feel uncomfortable while reading whatever it is I wrote and change my picture to a picture of someone or something else loll. - Nana 🌸

A/A/N : HIS EYES PIERCED THROUGH MY NONEXISTING SOUL I HATE HIM FOR DOING THIS TO ME

That I Have Regretted ( Part 1 of the series )

17 hours, 27 minutes and 48 seconds...

He waited that long for her.

He wouldn’t budge from his kneeling position he was in at the first 7 hours of the operation, no matter how his legs hurt from the awkward position and angle, no matter how his brain told him that he’s tired from all the fighting and that he needed rest, no matter how his stomach cried out for food and his throat croaked for water, he ignored it all so that he would be the first to know about (Y/N)’s condition.

It hurt him knowing that he may or may not be living the rest of his life in regret and all the waiting made his anxiety crawl into his brain and also that things were bad between him and her before the eternal slumber takes her away from him. He wanted to rewind, rewind to all those times he had made her worried, angry, tired, he wanted to change those moments to be filled with soft kisses, whispers of nothing, affectionate ‘I love you’s that would make both of their stomaches filled with butterflies. He wanted to turn back to all those times and fix things.

But he also wanted to turn back to their most happiest times; when the both of them accidentally blurted out that they love each other at the same time, when they snuck out of the tower at 3 am just to get midnight ice cream and ended up binge watching horror movies until 11 am, when she first calm him down during his first week of being with the Avengers, how her arms would wrap around her neck despite the punches he gave her due to his fear of hurting her if his episodes came back, not realizing he was already hurting her, but for some reason she stood by his side since day one.

Oh how stupid he was.

He didn’t know better.

Frustration had taken over him, making him forget the things she had done for him.

Now the only thing that is being repeated in his head is the moment he told her that they both needed a break, that she had taken him for granted, that they both needed time apart.

“I think we both should take a break”

“It’s clear that you and I have been together for too long, we forgot the value of our relationship and yo-we… misused each other’s company… so… let’s… find out what we need best for ourselves…”

Oh how dumb he had been.

In that moment he really wanted to punch himself, harm himself in some way to make it up to (Y/N)’s pain, (Y/N)’s current suffering, and (Y/N)’s current battle with death.

But knowing that he’ll heal in a couple of hours made him realized that it won’t be fair, that it won’t be the same. So living with no physical harm is the best option. Because God knows how mentally broken he is right now and he’d have to live with that.

Steve had managed to drag him away from his kneeling position after the first 7 hours, saying that he’ll burn the floor soon enough and that he’ll leave a mark on the floor. Steve also managed to feed Bucky, though all that he would eat was just a couple of sandwiches-that Wanda specially made to help the poor soldier in his toughest time-and a bottle of water.

After Doctor Cho fixed (Y/N) up temporary and informed him that the operation was a success, he rushed to her side in mere seconds only to break down again at the sight of her; oxygen mask covering her mouth, her parted lips puffing small puffs of air, eyes closed tightly like as if she was sleeping, and what broke him the most is the sight of a tube attached to her chest, her holed chest where a grappling hook once settled in is on just a hollow hole that’s covered by a tube and a machine that will keep her alive for God knows how long.

 Bucky cried, he screamed, and bang on the floor, cursing himself, blaming himself for what had happened.

(Y/N) risked her life for him and what did he repaid her with? A fucking break to their long relationship.

He repaid the only woman who would ever accept him as he is with cold, painful venom injected straight to her heart, only thinking about himself and not about how she also feel about his decision.

“Hey popsicle”

Bucky’s body froze when he heard someone spoke from behind him. Never in his life had he let anyone see him in his most vulnerable state. Bucky had always believed that his most vulnerable state was when he cried, he’d only let those he trusted with all his life to see him in that state. Which obviously meant that he only had let Steve and (Y/N) see him cry; Steve saw him cry when he brought Bucky to his mother’s grave, Bucky cried waterfalls for 20 minutes straight, while (Y/N) saw him cry when he had his nightmares, his past came haunting him back, forcing him to believe that he couldn’t change.

“Go away Stark, I’m not in the mood” he choked out, trying his best to quickly wipe his tears.

Tony, obviously being the stubborn man he is, only rolled his eyes and walk closer towards the slumping man, “Oh save your words, Bucket, I don’t care whether you’re taking a shit or braiding your hair, if one of my team members are in jeopardy I’m willing to go through hell to help them... and I needed to have your-” Tony then paused his words to crouch down next to the man, “-approval for the arc reactor that are going to be put in (Y/N)’s holed chest” he continued.

Bucky snapped his head towards Tony when he mentioned the arc reactor.

“You’re gonna- what?”

“Put an arc reactor in (Y/N)’s chest” Tony completed his sentence.

At the sight of Bucky’s shocked and confused expression, Tony explained to him the reason as to why he had the idea in the first place, “You see, the impact from the grappling hook resulted some of her organs to shut down and her heart to slowly dying” at the mention of (Y/N)’s heart slowly dying, Bucky’s jaw and fists clenched, seeing that, Tony cleared his throat, indicating that he has good news despite the bad news that Bucky heard was severe enough to result in panic, “The arc reactor will support her like how a normal heart would, it will keep her blood pumping and I promise you that she will be living her life normally once the operation’s done”

It was kind of too much for Bucky to handle.

He had too many questions running in his head about her safety and the possibilities about the arc reactor being inside her.

But out of all question he could’ve spoke out, he decided to question his own significance in the decision making part, “Why are you asking me this?” he blurted out, “Well, obviously you’re the boyfriend, and I know that she trust you enough to let you make these kinds of decisions in her life” Tony shrugged.

Truth to be told, Tony had always treated (Y/N) as his own daughter, having Pepper leaving him for her business hurt him and even after being put in jail by Tony and siding with Captain himself, she took upon the role of someone responsible enough to stop Tony from doing shits to himself like back before the whole Afghanistan shit happened.

Of course Tony was more than grateful that (Y/N) pulled him from the abyss back to the land of the living once more. No one cared enough to give precaution for Tony but there (Y/N) was, both literally and figuratively slapping him back to reality.

Since then Tony swore to himself that he won’t let anything hurt her, including Bucky. Oh, how close he was to blowing the man’s head seconds after he knew what happened between him and (Y/N). Despite his temporary hatred towards the half metal man, he also knows how much (Y/N) loves him, how much she trusted her life in his hands and that Bucky is the only person she trusted to make one of the biggest decisions in her life for her.

Tony was more than willing to make the decisions himself knowing that-obviously-between all of them, him and Steve are more eligible than anyone else to make such decisions. But God knows how Bucky would’ve flipped even more if he wasn’t informed.

Silence enveloped them both, the only sound that could be heard was the slow beeps of the machines that’s keeping (Y/N) alive temporarily. The same atmosphere as the one he experienced the day he did the most regretful thing in his life clouded the room in mere seconds and to be honest, it’s bugging him more than ever considering the same atmosphere brought catastrophe in his life. How life just love to poke fun at him, he thought.

“Does she mean it?” Bucky blurted out, breaking the icy cold silence that was enveloping everything in the room.

“What?” Tony snapped out of his own trance and look at the man next to him, “That she trust me enough to let me make these decisions for her” he croaked out, tears once again threatening to spill from his icy blue orbs, drops of emotions that he kept to himself. To him, those tear drops represents every single mistakes that he had ever done and those tear drops are proof of how low he thought of himself, and each of those tear drops represents reasons as to why (Y/N) decided to stay with the now-warm-blooded soldier.

Reluctantly, Tony nodded to Bucky, “Yeah, she means it...” Tony was looking for words to prolong his answer, short answers made him feel like he’s defeated, at loss of words and even worse, clueless. But that’s just it, that’s the only words there is to answer Bucky and one of his insecurities.

Bucky knows. Bucky knows it too well that there’s not much time left until (Y/N) organs began shutting down one by one, trapping her inside her own body until someone decide to pull the plugs and let her have her early well deserved rest. For someone who has been alive for a hundred years, time seems to be insufficient.

Talk about irony.

“T-this arc reactor...” Bucky gulped a little before boring his eyes back to where (Y/N) laid, “It won’t do her any harm, right? She’d still be able to be a normal person after it being put in her?” he continued, thinking of different scenarios of the outcome the arc reactor might brought upon (Y/N).

Tony scoffed, “Now you’re just degrading me... Look at me, I don’t think I’ve ever been better! If it’s anything, the arc reactor actually made me better! Plus, Loki wouldn’t be able to make her one of his... Zombie slaves or whatever he made humans as with his sceptre”

Bucky nodded knowingly at Tony’s words.

“Anything... Would be better than her dying like this, right?” he muttered to himself before suddenly snapping  his head towards Tony with a piercing yet determined gaze.

“How soon can you put this reactor in?”

3 days later

Bucky never left.

He never left the room even for just one bit.

Shower? He’d use the bathroom inside (Y/N)’s room.

Food? Steve would bring him food despite him saying that now is not the time to eat and Steve would go to a whole mother hen mode, scolding him and all.

Entertainment? He’s fucking worried, how is he supposed to be entertained?

But Sam and Steve would often go back and forth into (Y/N)’s room to talk to Bucky and check on (Y/N). Heck, even Peter Parker-the scrawny boy who was currently the new member of the Avengers and being close to (Y/N) came to drop small gifts for her later when she wakes up. Even the girls would come into the room, they’d assure Bucky that everything will be alright, nothing is going to be wrong, both Wanda and Natasha would also clean (Y/N) up since both of them are the most capable as in not going to break down crying if (Y/N) doesn’t respond to their touch. Read : Bucky.

“Bucky?”

Bucky looked to the door and saw Clint coming into the room, Lila and Cooper grinning on both of his sides, “If you wouldn’t mind, Lila and Cooper had been desperate to see their auntie (Y/N) again” Clint said sheepishly, he knew that Bucky doesn’t want to be disturbed but on the other hand he also knew that Bucky won’t deny children’s presence in the room.

When Bucky nodded with a small smile on his face, Lila and Cooper ran into the room and made their way to both of (Y/N)’s sides. Though (Y/N) wasn’t able to respond to them, they talked to her, telling her stories from their school, their daily life and their hopes and wishes for her.

“You look bad, Bucky” Clint said as he sat down next to the half metal man in the couch in (Y/N)’s room. Bucky glanced at the man, “It’s been a while since I’ve gone out...” Bucky muttered before letting his gaze move back to (Y/N) and the children on her sides.

Clint sighed loudly, he had his hand to his forehead, rubbing harshly, “You’re not the only one who’s taking (Y/N)’s situation hardly... (Y/N), she was-” Clint paused, taking a deep breath so that he was able to continue talking, “(Y/N) isn’t like any other recruits... She was so young when she joined the Avengers, she was about to graduate high school and God she was a blessing to us...” Clint chuckled at the thought. Bucky let out a small grin too, thinking about (Y/N) in her graduation outfit.

“You know, her parents... Were against her being with us, so she ran away from home, she cried on her first night here saying that she regretted leaving home, leaving her family and friends behind... She’d often go to Tony for comfort since Tony is surprisingly able to handle her state back then... But she know she have us, she have her new family with her and she regretted nothing...” Clint suddenly reached to his pocket and took his phone out, he scrolled through the pictures in his phone and stopped at a certain photo.

At first he only smiled to himself, making Bucky curious. But he soon moved his phone to Bucky, to show him the picture he found, “During her graduation, Tony and Natasha came as her parents and boy was everyone shocked, they thought that the great Tony Stark had a lovechild with his own teammate” Bucky laughed slightly when Clint said that, he imagined what it was like to be in Tony’s shoes back then.

As the chuckles subsided, silence began enveloping them again. The atmosphere had once again turned cold. Bucky began imagining what it would be like to reminisce about those moments he and the other Avengers had had with her if she won’t make it.

But Clint didn’t want him to be sad so he put an arm on bucky’s shoulder and looked straight at him with a firm smile, “I’ve seen her fight, I’ve seen her battle for survival many times...” he started, his grip grew firmer yet Bucky didn’t falter even once to the touch, “She’ll make it through this one” he then moved his gaze to the unconscious girl who is surrounded by his children and firmly nod at himself, “Yup, that girl is a survivor”

Somehow Clint’s words pierced Bucky’s heart.

Everyone seems to love her, especially him and she had done nothing but accept all his shits, his mess, his nightmares, and even her wrongdoings. Sure, sometimes (Y/N) has some flaws, everybody does. But to Bucky, she is nothing like that. To him, she was some sort of a saint, not that she is free from sin-hell, she have her own devils inside her-but still, she had managed to make an angel out of her devils. (Y/N) is without a doubt the most saint person out anyone that he had ever made.

But why did a tragedy had to happen first to make Bucky realized that? He felt like it was unfair, how (Y/N)’s life or death situation brought out the most sensitive topic to him and made him realize what she truly means to him and how much she love him with no exceptions. He is a man with many flaws which made Bucky wonder, how did she overlook them?

“Clint...” Bucky called, catching the man next to him out of guard, “Tell me the truth...” he started, eyes lowering down to his fingers on his lap, “About?” Clint asked, an eyebrow cocked up with interest.

Bucky heaved a loud sigh before continuing, “What was your first impression about me?”

Truth is, Bucky had never been curious about what other people’s first impression about him because he know that the answer would either be scary or murderous and God forbid him killing someone right after they said that to him which is why he’d rather not ask in the first place.

Bucky had never even asked (Y/N) that question. He felt like it’s not even that important and (Y/N) knows her boundaries, she doesn’t want to pry too deep into Bucky’s life because though they are-were dating both still needs their own privacies despite what people said. 

It took Clint a minute to answer Bucky’s question, “Broken...”

Now that shocked Bucky.

“What?”

“Broken, the first time I saw you, when Cap brought you during the whole him and Tony fiasco, I could see from your eyes that you’re broken, you’re strong and that was because someone broke you to pieces and never bothered to glue you back together”

At first, Bucky was surprised when Clint answered his question but now that he heard the reason behind his answer, he was rather ticked off, almost to the point of him being furious. He’s in the spot between serenity and blowing up at Clint.

“I am not broken... No one broke me and no one needs glue me back together-”

“And that’s why you glue yourself back together” Clint interrupts, shutting Bucky off completely with utter shock, “You can’t glue yourself back completely so there were some cracks left, there were cracks that not even you realise existed and when (Y/N) came into your life she offered to fill in those cracks with herself” By then Clint had somehow manage to made himself almost to the point of being angry and Bucky almost in the verge of tearing up at the mention of his state, “Why? What could possibly made you so reluctant to the thought of someone helping you-”

“I DON’T WANT TO CORRUPT THEM!”

Bucky’s sudden burst made everyone in the room halt into a nerve wrecking silence. Lila and Cooper doesn’t have the slightest tinge of fear on their faces, but they just look utterly confused, the fact that they’re raised by a hero dad who has hero friends make them seeing their father’s friends bursting out or fought each other inevitable.

Clint looked at both of his kids and nod towards (Y/N), telling them to go back to what they were previously doing silently.

“What do you mean corrupt?” Clint asked, now looking to Bucky’s face that he tried to cover with his large hands, “I don’t want to corrupt them... You... Everyone that I care... (Y/N)...” Bucky then paused after saying his girlfriend’s name, softening up a little as he look down onto his hands and lifted his head slightly a little more, “Especially (Y/N)... Oh, she’s all the pureness that exists in this world and I don’t want to ruin that... No... She’s... Too good...” by the end of the sentence, Bucky’s eyebrows creased together in a slight frustration, he laced his fingers together and squeeze his hands until it turned white.

The man next to Bucky nodded slowly, processing what his friend told him, trying to form words in his brain for his mouth to let out and to comfort his nerved friend.

But nothing came out.

How could it come out easily?

Clint had never felt what Bucky felt.

True, that people feels pain differently and what one might say is deadly painful may not be as painful to another. But Clint knows, Bucky’s pain is at its highest level.

Bucky had once been on top of his game, being the nation’s hero with his childhood friend, people cheering his name from every corner of America, girls ogling him with dreamy eyes and hope to be able to even talk to the soldier.

But it all vanishes the moment HYDRA had its eyes on Bucky.

He became the nation’s most wanted man despite the government not acknowledging his existence, his childhood friend had once became his enemy, his mission, people screaming in fear when they saw him, girls looking at him weirdly and scared because of his metal arm and worse of all, he became a weapon, an assassin that was forced to do something that he don’t want to, he got his emotions erased, heart broken and left alone at the deepest, darkest corner of his brain, and he lost his whole world and its trust on him.

“Sometimes, you just gotta let people into your life... Whether you like it or not, someone would eventually do and that person is better to be someone you know, someone you trust, someone you love... You either learn this the easy way or the hard way, and from my experience, I’d have it the easy way any day” Clint was shocked at first, he was shocked that he actually could say something like that to a man like Bucky, “Time is an enemy, Buck... it will try to stop you every single day of your life and when it does, you’d want to be someone who have someone that he loves in his life, a man who is a better man than he was before, and it won’t happen if you don’t let yourself open to everyone around you...” Bucky had a solemn look on his face, he knew that Clint’s right, he does need to man up and open up to people, “Start with something small buddy, someone close, someone that is closer than you think” Both of their eyes trailed slowly to (Y/N)’s resting body on the bed.

Bucky was so focused at looking at his lover, he didn’t realized that Clint had said his goodbyes and took Lila and Cooper with him home, leaving Bucky and the unconscious girl alone, silence enveloping them but yet everything seems to be so loud to Bucky.

Weird.

Without him realizing, he was on his feet.

His feet slowly brought him closer to (Y/N), allowing him to see more of her as he walk towards the bed. He could see all of (Y/N)’s perfections that she had once claimed as her imperfections. Oh, how he loved everything about her.

Bucky slowly sat down on the chair that Cooper had pulled before.

He sat there silently with his hands clasped together and his eyes not leaving (Y/N)’s face, not even for a second.

Slowly, his eyes drifted off to (Y/N)’s chest, where the arc reactor that Tony built specially for (Y/N) is resting in the middle of her chest. It looks weird on her. Considering that she had just had the arc reactor attached to her body recently made it seems comprisable that no one is used to the sight yet.

Bucky held one of (Y/N)’s hand in his securely but not too tight, he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore than he already does. But with the loving look he gave to (Y/N) at the moment, who would’ve guessed that Bucky is the cruel man he claimed to be?

His eyes began to trail off down towards her hand, how soft it felt against his harsh, calloused ones. How it’s smaller than his big, enveloping ones. How it reminds him of all the happy times they have spent together. But he also felt how cold it was against his warmer ones, even his metal hand felt slightly warmer than her hand.

“I promise you, (Y/N)... No more... No more pain for the both of us, no more sadness, no more tears... Just you and me, baby... but you gotta bear with me, okay?” he chuckle slowly, he looked up to her eyes as a tear slipped from his eye, “Like I’ve told you before, I’m a broken man... I’ve lived a broken life without you before and God, I just realized how fucked up it was...” his breathing became shaky, he can’t control his emotions at the moment but he tried his best to not rampage the whole room just because of his mixed emotions.

Bucky took a sharp intake of breath before continuing, “That’s why... I was so happy that you came into my life... That you were selflessly willing to throw all the normalities in your life to be with someone as abnormal as me... I mean, look at me! Tony was right, I am a walking trash can... At least he got both of the trash and the can right” he chuckled once more but this time no tear fell down, only a soft smile that lingered on his lips. He pressed his lips onto the back of (Y/N)’s hand that he was holding onto for the longest time, hoping that he wouldn’t have to ever let go, “So please... Stay with me, stay for me... I don’t know what I’ll do without you, doll... I’ll call you with more nicknames if you want, I’ll be there for you all the time, I’ll make sure to cut our working hours and amount of missions but if we can’t, I’ll make sure to be together with you through every single mission so please... If you let go of me now, I don’t know what I’ll become, I could go mad or I’d probably join you in death...”

Then he paused.

He began imagining what it would be like to join (Y/N) in death. Or what would it be like to miserably fail to join (Y/N) in death and ended up having to live the rest of his miserable life alone.

God had softened the man’s heart through a girl and now he had his eyes streaming tears down onto his cheeks, staining them with pain-filled tears as to show how unwilling he was to let go of the most important person in his life if it would happen and if it happened in a really unfair circumstance.

As his thoughts began trailing off, he was suddenly reminded at one particular memory he had with (Y/N), a memory that he had skipped accidentally and was he glad that it came back into his head at the moment.

“Sweetheart, do you remember that night we talked about our future? The night after your undercover mission to infiltrate a nuclear factory?” He smiled to himself as he reminisce the feeling of (Y/N) in his arms, laid flat chest to chest with her head in the nook of his neck and their breathing and heart beat in sync with one another, “I... Promise... I promise to make all of those promises come true... But you’d have to also be here because if I were to fulfil your wishes, who’d fulfil mine if it weren't you? No one can ever take your place, (Y/N)... No one... Not Natasha, not Wanda, definitely not Sam... And not even Steve... None of them are like you, none of them are willing to give everything that you were willing to give me with no expectation of being rewarded back”

Once again, Bucky inhaled deeply and let it out as shaky breaths. He tried to keep himself composed, he tried to kept his smile on his face to appear strong in front of the unconscious woman in front of him. Though all the facade he had, his tears were uncontainable still as it spilled even more onto the soft bedsheets, staining them and marking them, making it known to no one that he had been there with her, waiting and foolishly expecting what may have never came true.

“All of them... All that I had hoped... All that you had hoped... And all else that we had hoped... Is waiting for us in the future...”

He leaned forward and kissed her lips through the oxygen mask she’s wearing, exactly where her lips would hold if the plastic helper wasn’t there in the first place.

“I would never leave you again...”

He gave another soft peck on the same spot.

“So wake up soon... Hurry, and come back to me....”

Another peck as his tear dropped onto (Y/N)’s cheek.

“I miss you”

Bucky whispered, his hot breath fanned over (Y/N)’s face, making it a little bit warmer than before.

After Bucky said that he missed her, little did he know that her fingers twitch in response to him and his sincere confession.

I’m sorry, I just love angst - Nana 🌸

[taizi]

If the Creek Don’t Rise (3/3)

‘verse: Mostly IDW, some elements of 2k12

Pairings: Rasey, Woody/Mikey, Ramona (past)—and a few more may be implied down the road, we’ll see brief mentions of Leosagi.

Summary: In which Raphael and Michelangelo are UCLA students and bring some friends home to South Dakota for Thanksgiving, where Donatello plays matchmaker, Casey becomes a horticulture enthusiast, Woody has great taste in art, and Raphael fakes an engagement.

Notes: This is an AU I started writing for @tmntflashfic’s first theme ‘beginnings.’ It’s very loosely based off the old Pauly Shore movie “Son in Law,” and I’ll thank y'all not to judge me for that. <3 This AU is not to be taken seriously, so please don’t take it too seriously. It got longer than I anticipated, so I cut it into three parts.

Titled after something my nana always says, “If the lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise,” which just means that as long as nothing unexpected happens, everything will go to plan.

THE FINAL PART IS FINALLY HERE

(Story tag)

Raphael was one-hundred and fifty percent certain his life was over.

His brothers kept throwing him bewildered looks, staring between him and Casey as though trying to form a connection that wasn't there. Going over what they knew in a new light, and drawing lines between every interaction they had seen so far and the bombshell Casey dropped on essentially the entire town, and wrapping their minds around the idea of Raph and Casey actually being Raph And Casey.

“I need some air,” Raph said abruptly over Leo's fourth attempt to draw him into conversation, standing up so sharply that he bashed his knee into the tabletop and rattled the glassware. “Shi – shoot. Sorry. Jones, you wanna come with me? For some air?”

“Dude, the food’ll be here soon.”

Raph's murderous intent probably showed on his face, because Mikey stood up a second later. “I'll go with you guys.”

“Oh, god, please don't leave me here,” Woody said very quietly, scrambling out of his chair to follow them.

Which is how Raph found himself pacing the parking in the warm country night air, hands folded into tight fists at his side. Woody and Mikey were sharing a cement parking block, sitting with their knees folded up by their chins and watching Raph's back-and-forth march with solemn eyes. Casey was leaned against the wall without a care in the world, and it made Raph want to grab him by the shirt and shake him.

“That was your move?” he bit out. “Faking an engagement? Jesus Christ, Jones!”

“Hey, I didn't see any of you comin' up with any brilliant ideas,” he shot back with a scowl. “And it ain't like I had days to think it over!”

“C'mon, Raphie, it's not Casey's fault,” Mikey interjected before Raph could give voice to any one of numerous scathing retorts. He looked pale and worried for him, face a wash of tired yellow from the buzzing streetlight overhead. “We were all pretty much put on the spot back there. At least the thing with Lisa is taken care of.”

“Okay, but this is – ”

“A lot better,” Woody said calmly. When Raph cut a glance at him, he added, “You're in complete control of the situation now. When we get back to your place, we'll explain the whole thing. Just play it cool through dinner, alright?”

“Yeah!” Mikey piped up, looking exhaustively relieved. He tilted a shining look Woody's way. “There's nothing to worry about, bro, we'll sort this out first thing once we're home.”

Except that the first thing that happened once they got home was Leo, successfully cornering Raph alone on the back porch. Woody shot him a sympathetic glance over Leo's shoulder but ultimately abandoned him to his older brother's mercies in favor of following Mikey around like a second shadow. Goddammit.

“Dude,” Raph headed him off, “it's been a night, okay, just – ”

“Look, I know you don't want to talk about it,” Leo said with a firm hand on Raph's arm, curtailing his attempts to get the hell out of dodge. But it was less that and more the earnest look in his wide almond eyes that kept Raph's feet rooted reluctantly to the floor. “I know that you probably had planned to tell us the news while we were together for the holidays, and I'm really sorry Elizaveta made it necessary for you to announce your engagement the way you did.”

Raph wanted to sink through the floor and disappear for maybe the rest of his life. Hoarsely, he said, “Leo, that's not – ”

“Just hear me out,” his big brother insisted, and somehow his expression only got more sincere. “I've – been texting you a lot recently about a guy I met on campus. Usagi. Remember?”

Raphael hazarded a nod, and shifted so that Leo's grip on his wrist was less of a grab and more of a hold. Leo nodded back, as though he needed the encouragement, and took a deep breath.

“I like him,” he blurted, cheeks coloring. “I like him a lot.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Oh,” Raph said, eyes huge in his face. Leo was still nodding, looking equal parts panicked to have said it out loud and relieved to part with the confession. He was staring at Raph like Raph had all the power to destroy him with a single word or harsh look, and Raph found he didn't care for that shit at all. “Look, man, that's – whatever, you know? You didn't really think we'd care, did you?”

“I don't know,” Leo said quietly, letting go of Raph's arm. “I mean – I told myself I was being stupid, but – ”

Raph could feel himself start to frown thunderously at the idea that Leo could tote around the ridiculous concept that his family's love for him was  conditional. And maybe it was a little hypocritical, since the same quiet worries had circled Raph's head, too, back when he was first irreparably charmed by the most obnoxious roommate in the history of UCLA – but at the same time, it was different. It was Leo.

“Hell yeah, you were being stupid. Look, as long as he's a good guy, as long as he doesn't – ” He thought of Bradford and the end of Mikey's sophomore year and abruptly saw red. Thought of the man Leo had his eye on doing anything similar, and his fists clenched so hard it hurt. “ – hurt you, y'know, in whatever way, then it don't matter. Not a lick. And our brothers and dad and Uncle L will all tell you the same thing. You know they will.”

There was a sheen to Leo's eyes that looked like it might be tears, but he chuckled warmly. Rubbed his face with the sleeve of his shirt and hitched up a smile so wide it probably could have left a permanent impression.

“Well – that's why I wanted to talk to you,” he said. “To say thanks.”

Something close to dread pooled in the pit of Raph's stomach. “Thanks?”

“Yeah. I was scared, but you made it less scary. You've always been so much braver than me.”

Fearless Leo's eyes shone for a split second before he moved forward a swift step and tugged Raph into a solid hug. They were about the same height, Raph realized dimly, and wondered when that had happened. It was autopilot to put his arms around Leo in turn, and he only got squeezed tighter for his troubles.

“I’m going to talk to father before I go back to school. Thanks, Raph, really.”

Raph closed his eyes, and allowed himself an inward and heartfelt, Fuck.

"There is no fucking way we can call it off now,” Raph said, waving his hands wildly. “No fucking way.”

He had called an Immediate Emergency Meeting, which was why they were all clustered in the back shed, AKA Mikey’s childhood art studio. The overhead light was still swinging from the fifth time Casey had smashed his head into it, and subsequently Casey was rubbing his forehead and cussing under his breath.

Similarly, Woody was only half-listening; eyes roving the room like he was trying to commit ever inch of the dust-covered space to memory, lingering on old painted canvases and listing sculptures like there was treasure to be found among them.

Raph had Mikey’s full attention at least. His little brother was perched on the workbench, watching him with wide, worried hazel eyes.

“Well,” he said slowly, “it’s still okay. We’ll just ride this thing out, y’know? I mean, we’re only gonna be here for the rest of the week, right? And then when we go back to school everything will go back to normal, you can call and say the two of you broke it off or something. Right?”

“I -- yeah, I mean.” Raph ran an agitated hand through his hair, forcing himself to calm down. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

Mikey beamed at him, tension easing out of his shoulders. Raph was unspeakably grateful, for the millionth time in his life, that he could always count on having Mikey on his team. Things never seemed as bad with him around.

“So you and Case just gotta act couple-y until then! No problem!”

Casey snorted, and Woody whipped around with a delighted expression. “’No problem’? Mikester.”

“What? What’d I say?”

Raph prayed that the shitty lighting in Mikey’s shed would be enough to hide the way his face turned red. From the coy look on his little brother’s face, and the amused look on Woody’s, he knew that was probably a fool’s hope.

Casey was still rubbing his forehead but he was watching Raph closely now, with something measured and thoughtful in his eyes.

Later, in the relentless quiet of Raph’s bedroom, the scattered feet between his bed and Casey’s cot seemed to stretch into miles. It was nothing like their first night there -- nothing like every night for the past few months in their dorm room at school -- when they could stay up and talk about anything, cradled safely in the dark as they learned to navigate each other’s pitfalls.

It was uncomfortable. The learned familiarity was gone. Raph was grasping for it at the corners.

Casey’s cot creaked as he rolled over, and his voice drifted through the space between them cautiously.

“Raph? You awake?”

With the blanket pulled up around his ears, Raphael pretended not to be.

Raph went slinking out of the house early the next morning. He waved to Uncle L when he passed him in the kitchen, put together a quick breakfast of leftovers out of the fridge, and crept out the side door into the yard while the sky was still more dark than light.

Father would have started the chores already. Raph wouldn’t see him until lunch. He wanted to talk -- it’s obvious he wanted to talk -- but he had always given his kids the whole of his faith, and probably trusted Raph to come and find him on his own when he was ready.

Fat chance of that.

Hiding in the horse barn, Raphael leaned against the wall and put his head in his hands and tried very hard not to lose his collective shit.

If the thing with Lisa wasn’t bad enough, now he’s fake dating a guy he wants to actually date, and it’s fake going really well, apparently, because they’re fake planning to get married.

He suckered himself into this situation in the first place, inviting Casey along for the visit home, but the kicker is he can’t even really bring himself to regret it. Not when the alternative would have been Casey on his own back in California.

He’s had a good time, Raph thought, and didn’t want to take a moment of it back.

“Yo,” Casey said abruptly, drawing Raph’s head up sharply. His sleep-touseled friend was in the wide doorway of the barn, looking distinctly unimpressed with him and the world and wakefulness in general. “Are you seriously avoiding me? Weak as hell, man.”

Raph could only stare at him, trying to find his footing in this conversation he was desperately unprepared for. Casey took pity on him after a moment and gestured over his shoulder.

“My buddy showed me where you were. I named her Chompy by the way, on account of the hole she chewed into my shirt the other day.”

Raph followed his hand to the fence opposite the barn, where the newest addition to the family sheep was gazing dolefully at them through the gap in the wooden posts. He blinked, and looked back at Casey, and said, “You can’t name Mikey’s sheep Chompy. That’s a stupid name.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re all named after like, artists and shit. Okay, fine in keeping with family tradition, she can be Chompy Picasso.”

“No. Just -- no. I’m gonna. Hold on.”

He dug his cell phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Mikey; who was probably still up at ass o’clock in the morning after having not gone to bed in the first place in favor of a sci-fi movie marathon with Don and Woody.

Sure enough, Raph got a reply almost immediately.

To: Mike case is tryin to name ur lamb chompy picasso

From: Mike !!!! thats the best name EVER tell him thx omfg

“Okay, well, it’s official,” he said, pocketing his phone again. “I don’t know any of you. You’re all total strangers. Get out of my house.”

“Pfft. That makes this engagement a little weird, don’t it?”

Raph didn’t flinch, but it was a close call, and he jerked his eyes away to stare at the wall, and then the ground. He didn’t want to talk about, didn’t know why he thought he could avoid it, wanted for there to be a way to go back and face Lisa from the beginning the way he should’ve -- the way she deserved -- instead of hiding from the situation like a coward.

He should have --

“Raph,” Casey barked, “stop freaking out, Jesus Christ!” His tone was sharp, but mostly without anger, and the steps forward he took were hurried. “I’ll slap you in the face to snap you out of it like in every bad Lifetime movie you’ve ever seen, don’t even try me.”

“You don’t watch Lifetime movies.”

“Fuck you, you don’t know what I watch.” Casey punched him in the shoulder, just hard enough to leave a residual ache there after his fist fell away. “And I don’t know what bullshit is running through your head right now, but we’re fine. This whole thing was my fault, and I’ll deal with it. So quit acting like the world’s comin’ to an end, you moron.”

Raph risked a glance up at him, disbelieving. Casey looked ready to throw another punch, agitated in a restless way that spoke more of worry than anything else.

And Raph felt like a moron.

“Fuck. Case, look -- “

But they were both interrupted by the dark head of a dapple grey stallion as it leaned over the door of its stall to see what all the commotion was about. It flicked an ear and shook out its mane before craning a long neck over to inspect Casey curiously.

“Holy shit,” Casey said, completely side-tracked as he stared at the approaching horse with wide eyes. “There’s a monster in your barn.”

“This is Spike.” Raph patted him fondly. “He’s nosy.”

“Yeah, I’ll say.” Casey put out his hands cautiously, and Spike leaned his nose into the cradle of his palms, snuffling wetly around for treats. “Ew,” Casey added, delighted.

Raph watched them for a minute, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“So,” he ventured, “we’re good?”

“Yeah, man. We’re good. Unless you keep acting like an idiot, goddamn.”

Spike lipped at the hem of Casey's shirt affectionately. Casey squawked, and Raph's heart did a complicated flip in his chest.

Raph's brothers, and his father, and his uncle all approved of Jones, whether the knew the full truth about the situation or not—but it was something else, something important, that his horse approved of him, too.

Fake dating, he reminded himself viciously, knowing already that the reminder wouldn’t stick.

The day before Thanksgiving, there was a big dance hosted at the rec center for the young adult crowd. The six of them took Uncle L’s truck, tired of being cooped up at the farm, and if the drinks provided weren’t spiked Raph would spike them his damn self.

“You see Lisa anywhere?” he asked, leaning against the wall next to Casey with a cup of warm punch.

“Am I s’posed to be lookin’ for her?”

“I owe her an explanation."

“You don’t owe anybody shit, bro, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

On Raph’s other side, Donnie straightened so abruptly that it got Casey, Raph and Leo’s -- from the other side of the refreshments table -- attention all at once. And before any of them had a chance to so much as open their mouths, he was pushing off the wall and striding through the crowd with vicious intent, looking ready to steamroll any number of people out of his way.

“What the heck,” Leo said, frowning. He was searching the room for the source of Donnie’s sudden beeline, and found it moments before Raph did.

Something ice-cold and toothed reared its ugly head in the pit of Raph’s chest at the sight of Bradford dragging his little brother out the back door. With a bitter taste in the back of his throat, he dropped his cup and shoved his way across the dance floor after Leo.

The back was for deliveries, with a wide gravel drive and a small storage shed. It was much quieter and darker out there, where the lights and the music and the dull roar of conversation from the party they had left behind were distant and muted.

Donnie was boxed in the doorway, frozen, with a hand over his mouth. Leo all but picked him up and moved him out of the way, face dark with furious fear, but after a second to take in the scene, he was motionless, too.

“What the fuck,” Raph blustered, shoving past, “move, don’t just -- “

“Holy shit,” Casey said from behind him. 

Bradford was crumpled on the ground, a bloody hand trembling over his broken nose. His lettermen’s jacket was stained with it, his cronies standing well back, and Woody was lowering his hands as Raph put the pieces of the scene together into a cohesive picture. 

Holy shit was right. 

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Woody said mildly, eyes cold as he looked Bradford over. “I really don’t want to have to tell you again.”

He looked like he really wanted to have to tell him again.

Reaching out without looking away from Bradford for a second, Woody gathered Mikey up under his arm, curling the smaller blond in tight against his side. Mikey’s eyes were wide but it was wonder in his face, and the beginnings of delight, and any shadow of that awful misery from moments earlier was burned completely away.

“Dude,” he whispered adoringly, “You’re a ninja.”

Woody’s icy expression gentled for him, almost absurdly, and if Raph looked to his left he’d see Donnie looking smug as shit at having been right about something no one else could have guessed from the very beginning, again. “Something like that. My aunt’s an MMA fighter. She taught me a lot. I took lessons for a few years, too.”

“Holy cats! Woody! That’s, like, maximum rad!” 

Grinning down at him, Woody said, “Anyway, weren’t we about to go dance?”

With a gasp, Mikey snatched up his hand and tugged him back toward the door. He looked surprised to see his brothers there, but he greeted them with a smile that didn’t shake, and Donnie touched Woody’s arm for a moment of exhaustive, wordless thanks. 

Woody shook his head with a stubborn glint in his eye, squeezing Mikey’s hand tighter. 

“Message received,” Leo said with a grin, and Raph watched Donnie take a mean delight in locking the back door behind them when they returned to the party. Not that he was worried about Bradford showing his ugly face anywhere near Mikey again anytime soon. He owed Woody a drink or ten for that. 

“Dude,” Casey said, “what the hell is up with that guy? Why’s he got it in for Mike?”

There was a wet floor sign and a disgruntled janitor cleaning up the spilled drinks Raph and his brothers left behind earlier. Raph went in search of a new spot to stand in.

“You know the movie Carrie?”

“Sure.”

“Same deal. Except instead of pig blood there at the end, Bradford got him up on stage in the middle of the homecoming dance and outed him in front of god and everybody.”

“Jesus fuck.”

“I got suspended that night for two weeks for beating the shit out of Bradford, but dad gave the principal so much hell she brought it down to one.” Glancing sidelong at Casey, Raph added, “Mikey got bullied after that, bad. Not for long, I mean, he doesn’t have three big brothers for nothing. But it left a mark on him, y’know, it really did some damage.”

“You think Woody knew?”

“I dunno. I didn’t tell him. And Mikey doesn’t talk about it. Anyway, I don’t think it matters. Anyone who looks at Mikey cross-eyed is gonna have fuckin’ Bruce Lee to deal with, and I’m more than fine with that.”

It wasn’t hard to find them on the dance floor, swinging each other around wildly and laughing louder than the band could play. The Mikey of two years ago wouldn’t recognize himself if he could see it, Raph thought. Dancing close with another boy in front of their whole small-minded town like there wasn’t a single goddamn thing to be ashamed of.

That night, warm with the alcohol they picked up on the way home and groggy, Raph fell into bed with his clothes on. Barely a minute later, hands were shoving at his chest and shoulder, and Casey was muttering, “Scoot over, dude, I’m not sleeping on that fucking thing anymore.” 

At three a.m. it made sense, and Raph rolled over to make room for him.

A rooster call woke him up scant hours later, and he blinked painfully through a hangover into the weak sunlight beginning to poke its fingers through the windows of his bedroom. 

His arm was slung over Casey’s waist. Casey was drooling on his shoulder. His head hurt too much to process either of those things.

“Yer thinkin’ too loud,” Casey muttered softly, the words wincing and whispered. “Too hungover for that shit.”

“Case -- “

“I swear to god -- “ 

“No, listen,” Raph was saying stupidly. “I don’t want to fake date you. It’s driving me insane, I don’t want to do it anymore. So that’s why we should -- “

With a soft cuss, Casey jerked upright. Raph had exactly one second to worry before his roommate was clambering on top of him, straddling his waist with a twisted comforter between them and leaning down with tangled hair and blurry eyes to kiss Raph quiet. 

It worked like a charm -- Raph shut right up. Casey kissed him for a lot longer anyway. Relentless, like there was something to make up for. Whatever it was, Raph was happy to give it, digging his fingers into his grip on Casey’s arms, keeping him as close as he could until the last possible moment.

To: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX sorry abt dinner the other night. sorry about a lot of stuff.

From: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX Forgiven. 

To: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX next time i visit ill make it up to you. promise

From: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX You will do no such thing. Next time, I will make it up to /you/. I owe you that much. 

From: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX And I hope you’ll introduce me to your fiance. I would like to meet him. 

Contact saved as “Mona Lisa.”

“What are you smilin’ about?” Casey mumbled without lifting his head, word salad all but lost against Raph’s collarbone. 

“How do you know I’m smiling, you creep?”

“C’n just tell. What’s up?” 

Raph set his phone aside, and pushed a hand through Casey’s hair. 

“Wanna come home with me again for Christmas?”

“Pretty sure I have a standing invitation from your entire family to crash all your holiday get-togethers, loser.” He slung an arm across Raph’s waist and yawned. “Welcome to the married life. No getting rid of me now.”

“We aren’t married, dumbass.” 

“Fuck you, go back to sleep.”

The two of them in one bed was a tight fit, but the cot was all the way across the room, they were still existing on the tender plane of the very barely not hungover anymore, and it seemed like a waste to sleep so far apart anyway.

On Thanksgiving Day, three things happen:

Mikey fucking outdoes himself, to literally no one’s surprise, and the food is fantastic. He and Woody hold hands through most of the meal, and Raph and Donnie share a wry look when father surreptitiously passes Leatherhead, who has better lighting from his side of the table, the digital camera. 

Leo comes out to the rest of the family, and it goes more or less exactly the way Raph thought it would. Leo's face is a pleased pink as he swipes through his phone at Mikey’s tireless demands for pictures of Usagi.

Raph clears his throat halfway through dessert and manages to meet his father’s eyes when he says, “There’s something I need to tell all of you. About the, uh. Engagement. See, we were -- Case and I, we were never really -- “

“ -- sure about the wedding date,” Casey cuts in smoothly, claiming a third slice of pumpkin pie. “We figured we’d put things on hold, you know, till we’re done with school, at least. No sense rushing in, right?”

Mikey and Woody are grinning across the table at him. Casey is grinning around a mouthful of pie. Raph throws his last vestiges of caution to the wind and grins right back.