#manhoe

[alkalische]

stole this from a friend

[apolunatic]

[aftokrator-official]

My first thought when i saw this was "manhoe in both directions" but actually, thinking about it, I just can't picture the other KMC leaders actually making fun of Manfred over his crush. Theresis just says something vague and ominous about not getting attached but otherwise leaves him to it. The Sanguinarch goes off on a twenty minute long self-important diatribe about ~going soft~ and having ~common tastes~ which is so wordy that Manfred doesn't actually realize it's directed at him and walks away partway through. The Damazti Cluster asks detailed, increasingly uncomfortable questions about their relationship to the point that it's impossible to tell whether they are making fun of him, suspect him of treason, or are genuinely curious for some unfathomable reason of their own. The Confessarius could NOT care less where Manfred is putting his dick. the prevailing attitude is "that's stupid, oh well, his funeral when he inevitably has to execute the guy for treason i guess."

W and Ines, though. W and Ines have honed "roasting Hoederer's life choices" into a fine art. They would be absolutely brutal and take no quarter about the fact that Manfred and Hoederer have been fucking for most of the time they've been in Londinium. The roast lasts longer than the relationship. Endless fodder for them to mock Hoederer's taste in men for the rest of time.

[autumnnnsun]

Sorry when I think about ManHoe and HoeTot I just keep imagining an au where Manfred and Hoederer is married and then divorces mutually for whatever reason. Hoederer moved on and remarries with Totter but Manfred still has some lingering feelings and he’s mature about it but he’s still in that process so it’s just been a bit weird.

It’s not like anyone is purposely making anyone else feel bad it’s just that they keep running into each other at supermarkets and things accidentally slip out when neither of them expect it during small convos but also like it’s kinda weird to not acknowledge each other at least a little bit so they keep doing it and things get slightly more awkward and tense as time goes on.

[sea-owl]

You know what one of my favorite tropes is?

Girlboss turns murder war criminal into malewife/simp.

Some voice in their head: Hey how about we-

War Criminal: Let me ask my wife

The Voice: . . .

War Criminal: She said no

The Voice: But what if we-

Wife: I'll be very disappointed

War Criminal: NO!

[puppyc0w]

Purest form of myself is ass up, drooling on the bed, cunt spread being called a slut for begging to have my clit tortured

[zanathan-aisling]

so sick of discourse that attempts to stratify the degrees of oppression between different “types” of trans people

[ms-revived-frogs]

I'll draw you the man of your dreams if u want

Go for it

[busylilbee]

Just tried to put my wine bottle into my dish washer instead of the fridge and this was not a drunk action it was purely a sober yet absent-minded action

[glowingmember]

Last lap(dance) boys, let's bring 'er home.

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[cur-curtains]

At least mangoes don’t disappoint like my exes do!

[alkalische]

retrospring stuff

AU: SINGAPORE

also this

[sahrabarik]

That fruit negativity post made me so mad actually (bcs the concept of papayas make me so mad) im gonna start thinking abt my fave fruit

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Brace yourself… shits about to go wild

Hey guys:

I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT FUCKING PUMPKINS, OR PUMPKINS THAT IMPLY THAT PEOPLE ARE FUCKING.

NOPE.

I'm out today. I've got too much to get done this week.

Sorry!

[moki-dokie]

reasons i will never forgive the showrunners if they don't at least acknowledge jjpope by the end of s3

featuring: ✨✨✨queerbaiting✨✨✨

wearing each other's clothes:

jj taking every opportunity ever to touch pope (god there are SO many more examples too):

jj getting sexual with, to, or about pope and ONLY pope, ever:

INTRICATE RITUALS:

(with coincidentally well timed lyrics right as it cuts to this scene sorry not sorry editing choices like that are done for a reason)

jj very often gazing at his lips instead of his eyes while talking to him:

(seconds before going in for the kiss)

jj constantly putting himself between pope and danger or being protective of him:

KISSING:

INTIMATE NECK KISSING IN A HOT TUB FOR WHICH THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL REASON FOR????:

I RAN OUT OF ROOM FOR IMAGES BUT LETS NOT FORGET ALSO

how jj has quite a few pet names for pope but no one else, how pope and jj are almost always paired off together, how jj has explicitly said 'i love you' to pope TWICE, how jj calms pope down when he starts spiraling, how jj and pope have more physical contact and affection than the two romantic leads, how jj is supposed to be a manho from how he's introduced and yet the opening shot is the one and only time we've seen him with someone in a romantic or sexual manner. how about the multiple accounts of people sharing gifs of them to people who have never seen the show with 0 context provided and damn near every time the consensus is 'they are not straight/they are hitting on each other'. I've covered most of this before. the list goes on.

we could even get into film editing choices from the perspective of my bestie who has a degree in that very field and how SO many of their scenes are shot, lit, scored, and all around edited with romantic intent,.

but then wait, there's more! how about how multiple members of the cast (including rudy!!) have stated they support the ship and think it's cute? or how multiple netflix socials heavily suggested jjpope was going to be canon? how so many of the key jjpope moments were improv that could have been cut and redone (like the fucking hot tub scene) if they didn't want it going in a possible homo direction??? or how jjpope was the first major ship to come out of obx BECAUSE of such heavy handed subtext?? and then the showrunners have the audacity to pivot to jiara at the last second because of a handful of fucking rabid stans that harassed the cast so severely it drove most of them off of socials??? with the paper thin excuse of 'oh we never expected that lets explore it'???????????

and whats the definition of queerbaiting again? "Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ+ representation. The purpose is to attract ("bait") a LGBTQ+ or straight ally audience with the suggestion or possibility of relationships or characters that appeal to them."

right.

i still have a sliver of hope that their 'exploration' of jiara is just like, 2 episodes of them giving it a shot and realizing they actually suck together. i still have hope they aren't gonna do us so blatantly dirty and might give us something even if it's just crumbs. most of the cast are loud and proud queer allies, the showrunners have so far been pretty fucking cool and extremely supportive of the queer community, even refusing to film in north Carolina because of transphobic bathroom laws. it would feel especially dirty if they really did bait us because of that. but man. MANNN. it just ain't looking good. i'd hate to give up on the show. i love it and love the actors even more but if they do it, i might just have to.

[eldritch-spouse]

Cock and balls torture with Patches, for science*

*science: checking how fast this manhoe can come from having his lady parts impaled on knitting needles connected to car battery.

[Lady parts kkkkkkkk-]

TW: CBT; Gore.

Patches adores that you're going this far in the name of """"science"""".

And it's with that in mind that he's made a list of procedures for you to follow, in case your experiments end up with him dismembered, disemboweled, or otherwise in a semi-comatose state from excessive physical damage.

Rest assured he's not dead- Just deteriorated! And the handy-dandy "Post Horrendously Brutal Sex" manual the dullahan made for you lets you know what to do to help his recovery be as smooth as possible.

Such as when, say, his cock and balls quite literally explode from the voltage you inflicted upon his poor, burnt and inwardly melting body.

A lot of that manual is basically "Shovel my body parts into a plot of dirt under the moonlight and check every couple hours".