#maramal getting put in his place

[dazzlerazz]

TELL HIM TALEN

[thequeenofthewinter]

Fic Friday, Wedding Edition

Dearly beloved fellow Hellsite users, we are gathered here today so that Mara's blessing might be upon us. ...or that my two idiots can be married. ;) Wow, it feels very surreal. I have worked up to this moment for a long time. It's taken like...300k words to get here, give or take. Actually, this chapter is the LONGEST one I have written. 11,287 words! We have broken into 10k+ territory. (I don't intend for this to happen all the time. This is a very special occasion.) Without further ado, I present a snippet from the wedding I have promised.

Rating: E (canon-typical violence, explicit content, check the tags)

Genre: Romance, action, adventure, drama

Pairing: Dahlia Wintersnow (OC Dragonborn)/Ulfric Stormcloak

Link to AO3: An Invincible Summer

The butterflies in Dahlia’s stomach explode into a flurry of what feels like thousands of much tinier versions of themselves, tossing her stomach contents in tumultuous, surging tides. Is she ready for this?  

Despite what her stomach would tell her, the answer is yes. She always has been ready. It is if there has been some golden thread of fate slowly pulling them together. If she thinks back, she can remember seeing Ulfric from a distance in her teenage years. He had always been a mysterious figure who drew her curiosity, but it wasn’t until she was put directly in his path on the cart that she felt the insistent tugging. When she emerged from the dark of her unconsciousness, the first thing she could feel were rippling waves of power calling to her. And when she looked right, she immediately identified him. Her stomach dipped much like it is doing now as something unnameable reached out her. In hindsight, she can identify this as his Thu’um washing over her. Even now she can still feel it as it flows over her in familiar, ebbing swells.

But at the same time, she does not discount it as simply being their fate. Destiny works in mysterious ways, after all. Perhaps that is what was truly washing over them. Should it be fate, destiny, or love, it doesn’t matter to her anymore. There is no place she would rather be.

The door opens, flooding the Temple with light as many turn their heads and shield their eyes; however, Ulfric’s are wide open and straining to look upon the face of his soon-to-be wife.

If he could, he would etch this exact moment in his memory down to the very last detail. He is certain that even in the most painstakingly done paintings, retellings, or stories which could be created, there is no art which could possibly accurately portray the ethereal beauty of Dahlia when she emerges from the blinding cocoon of light and steps forth in the warm candlelight of the Temple.

Ulfric’s eyes focus intently on her as he watches her walk down the aisle to him. He doesn’t even notice Ralof, Lydia, or Narile sneaking in after her or Galmar walking at her side. He only has eyes for her. Ulfric takes in her form, the way her dress flows seamless off of her—the look of unbridled happiness in her sparkling eyes as her lips rise for him with a smile. He drinks it all in greedily from his position next to Maramal near the makeshift shine of Mara he has brought here. Wetness leaks steadily down his cheeks as he wonders at his life and how he could possibly be so lucky to be here with her. He doesn’t even realize he is crying until Maramal reaches out a hand to offer him a handkerchief.

Reluctantly, he takes it from the priest and dabs it at his eyes gently. It is not usual for Ulfric to wear his emotions on his sleeve in public like this, but he will not be embarrassed for showing it. He nods to Maramal in thanks before returning the handkerchief to him awkwardly. 

When Ulfric turns his attention to the front of the room again, he finds that Dahlia is already in next of him. He had only taken his eyes off her for a moment, and now she is here. He suddenly forgets how to breathe.

At that moment, Dahlia’s eyes find their way to the rest of her life: Ulfric, who is somehow more handsome than she could have imagined even in the sweetest of her daydreams. For a moment, she cannot believe that it is real—that she can finally have everything that she has ever wanted. How is she to believe that it will not all suddenly dissolve like an elaborate, ephemeral fantasy at any moment? Especially when she finally notices that Ulfric smiles faintly at her, the corners of his mouth carefully upturning at her, almost fragilely as if they could break into a full grin at any moment—a secret just for her. 

He is the brightest of all stars, the most beautiful of all the northern lights, and the familiar saccharine-sweet taste of all her dreams for the rest of her days.

How is it that she is to be so lucky?

[boarchasers]

The Happiest Day

'Love you.'

'Love you.'

A quick kiss exchanged on the doorstep, a squeeze of the hand, and Joldi was gone.

Trond sighed and wandered into their kitchen, unwinding his scarf from his neck. His face was still sore and blotched where his helmet, now back in its place in the barracks, had been pressing into it, and his feet were burning in their boots. Sure would be nice to have someone there to soothe him, he thought. Sure would be nice if he could sit down to a hot meal with the love of his life and tell her about the night shift, then hear about her day, the visit from her mother, Amelie's yearly inspection from the healer. Sure would be nice. Instead he lowered himself into an old chair, wincing as his muscles pushed against the wood, and looked around an empty house. Even Amelie was away, having a sleepover with her cousins at Uncle Hjolrin and Auntie Arlain's house so Trond could get some rest after a long night. It made the house feel silent and cold, despite the oven smouldering from Joldi's early baking and the sound of Whiterun waking up outside.

It wasn't exactly how Trond would have imagined married life, say, ten years ago. Ten years ago exactly, now that he thought about it. Their anniversary. He'd almost forgotten. How he'd almost forgotten he couldn't say. He held the day in his memory with absolute clarity. People called it the happiest day of their lives, or so Trond had heard, although he remembered it for somewhat different reasons.

x

'We gather here today, under Mara's loving gaze, to bear witness to the union of two souls in eternal companionship...'

A hiss, emanating from somewhere in the sea of Joldi's relations and almost certainly belonging to the notorious Aunt Gwynanna, pierced through the ceremony, unmissable and probably intentionally so.

'A bit primitive, I think. And dirty.'

Joldi blushed and lowered her face. It was hard to deny Aunt Gwynanna's judgement. While they were planning the wedding, Joldi had described the waves of flowers decorating High Rock temples, garlands weaved around every rock and pillar in marvellous outdoor plateaus, the fine silks and perfumes a bride wore, and if not sunshine then at least not six feet of snow. She had done her best to recreate that in Riften's temple, but directing proceedings from Whiterun, some of the instructions had been lost, or not followed. A few sad bunches of wildflowers were sat in dishes. Most of them were lost in the shadows. The few candles on the altar only highlighted the dust and cobwebs.

To avoid seeing Joldi's embarrassment, Trond glanced over his shoulder at their audience, and immediately wished he hadn't. Although Joldi's innumerable relatives disguised the distinct lack of Boar-Chasers, other than Hjolrin squeezed in at the end of a bench, he felt the absence of his family ragged and raw inside his chest. Ma and Pa should have been there, shoulder to shoulder with Joldi's Mama and Papa. Brandrel should have been joking about how he never thought Trond would be the first of the brothers to get married. Minnel should have been challenging Aunt Gwynanna on her insult. And as for Haaki...

The loss of his elder siblings Trond could put aside. That pain had become too familiar a long time ago, no longer held the same sting. It would have been enough for those who were left to be there in their stead. That was all he asked.

Whenever he noticed the empty space he felt the anger rising in his chest. He tried to push it down, to concentrate on what Maramal was saying, but the fury lodged itself in tight between his ribs and refused to budge. Haaki's letter declining the invitation to the wedding had been about five words long, without even an apology. He was busy, he said. With what he hadn't specified. He didn't seem to think it mattered. Why would Haaki -- Haaki, with whom Trond had shared a bedroom for more than fifteen years, whom he risked his life to protect, whose childhood was inextricably linked with his own -- why would Haaki subject himself to enduring Trond's wedding day?

Trond felt Joldi's hand, hot and clammy, grasp his just in time. Maramal cleared his throat as he reached the end of his main speech.

'Do you agree to be bound together, in love, now and forever?'

There was a short pause, and Trond realised with a jolt that Joldi looked as exhausted as he felt. The endless cutting commentary from her Breton family had worn her thin, too, and anger turned to sadness with the realisation that both of them, at that second, only wanted the ceremony to finish as soon as possible.

'I do. Now and forever.'

x

Ten years later, Trond sighed happily and opened the oven. A sweet roll, freshly baked, sat inside, formed into the shape of a heart. He rescued it and stretched his feet towards the leftover warmth, the pain easing from them inside the socks Joldi had knitted for him, clumsily, unsure, but with a love deep and abiding and from the heart. He wondered whether she would have sold all of the wares from her basket yet, and whether she would have found the note he left her at the bottom of said basket, a note he would never admit to writing anywhere within earshot of his brothers. Sentimental, they would call it. Sentimental and soft. What did they know? Joldi deserved to know how much she was loved.

All things considered, Trond and Joldi's wedding day had not been the happiest day of their lives. That honour had fallen to every day since, each one happier than the last, and - Trond reasoned to himself, as he took his first bite of the sweet roll - he would not have wanted it any other way.

[argisthebulwark]

God your tags on that one post about how Brynjolf (and Cicero) don’t know what the amulet of mara means is so fucking funny to me. Like imagine wearing it only around him, going so far as to practically shove it in his face, but every time he’s just like “that’s some pretty jewelry” and you’re tearing your hair out in frustration. One day some other guild member finally takes pitty on you and tells Bryn what it means and his eyes so wide and he’s like I’VE BEEN A FOOL

it’s the only reasonable explanation. the other option is that bethesda made these interesting characters but won’t let me marry them.

“Nice jewelry, lass.” He commented on the first day. You’d waltzed up to him, summoning every bit of courage you could find before planting yourself in his way. Brynjolf barely paused to compliment the amulet before moving on. 

You keep trying. You make sure that the amulet of Mara is resting in place over your armor whenever you speak to Brynjolf just waiting for him to acknowledge it. You even cornered Maramal in the Bee and Barb to make sure you hadn’t misunderstood his explanation. 

“You steal that from someone important?” Brynjolf teased the next time you drew his attention to the amulet. He had to be joking. How could he not know? You’re sure that you’re following the traditions. You help the person you are courting with something they need to win favor and wear the amulet of Mara to show your intent to marry them. Salvaging the Guild and killing Mercer seemed like enough to win his favor. 

It’s disheartening. You lounged behind the Guild Master’s desk and yanked the amulet from around your neck. Staring at the gleaming gems you could feel the dread in your stomach, the one explanation that you won’t let yourself think about. It would hurt too much to consider. 

“Has he figured it out yet?” Cynric interrupted the downward spiral of your thoughts. You tucked the amulet into your pocket to push the thoughts away. 

“I’m starting to think he’s just not interested.”

“Yeah right.” He snorted before walking away again. You didn’t put the amulet of Mara back on that day. 

You still wore it, ignoring the comments from others about your eligibility. You tried to approach the topic with Brynjolf but he never seemed to fully grasp what you were trying to stay. The doubt was still digging into your mind - maybe he just didn’t want anything more serious. You’d had fun flirting and the times he’d shared your bed had left you wanting so much more of him. Maybe he didn’t feel the same way.

“You still haven’t told me where you got the necklace.” He commented once in the Flagon and you felt yourself tense. You could just tell him exactly what it meant to you. You could tell him that you wanted so much more of him, that you were in love with him. But the memory of him brushing off the meaning of the amulet halted your words.

“The temple of Mara.” 

“Is it valuable? You could probably get a good price from Tonilia for it.”

“Yeah, probably.” 

-

Brynjolf watched you walk away confused by how quiet you’d been. He wasn’t sure what it was but you weren’t acting like yourself. You seemed reserved, almost embarrassed. He wondered if he should stop bringing up the necklace. Maybe it had some personal meaning you weren’t ready to talk about.

“You could just tell her no.” Karliah’s voice was sharp, cutting through his thoughts. “If you aren’t interested you shouldn’t keep stringing her along.” 

“What?” 

“The amulet, Brynjolf.” She had him pinned in her glare across the table. The amulet? The necklace you’d seemed to proud of? 

“Yeah I’ve complimented it like five times. What else do you want me to do?”

“Oh my god I want you to remember the lessons about the aedra and the daedra.”

“What do the aedra have to do with anything?” Brynjolf couldn’t work his way through whatever riddle Karliah had given him. “We already returned the Skeleton Key. Did we earn some new curse when she took the amulet?”

“What is Mara’s domain?” She spoke slowly as if he should already know where she was headed with this conversation.

“Love.”

“Correct. Love. And the temple upstairs, the temple of Mara, what happens there?”

“A lot of praying. Sermons.” Was she trying to insinuate that the Guild Master had become religious?

“Marriages, Brynjolf.” Karliah rolled her eyes at him before continuing. “So, if someone were to purchase an amulet of Mara from the temple of Mara, that would mean they wanted what?”

“Oh fuck.”

Brynjolf rushed into the Cistern after you. He spotted you behind the Guild Master’s desk, feet propped up while you flipped the amulet over in your hands. You were glaring at it and he mentally kicked himself. He approached slowly on shaking legs, too many half formed apologies and explanations trying to spill out at once. 

“I’m so sorry.” He kneeled beside you, hating the silence he was met with. Your eyebrows raised at his words but you wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I don’t blame you for hating me. I’m so sorry lass, I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine.” You tossed the amulet onto the desk and he felt his heart sink. “It’s not your fault. Just forget the whole thing.”

“No.” He grabbed your hands, begging you to look at him. “Please give me one more chance.”

“Brynjolf it’s fine. I get it if you don’t want anything more.”

“One more try, lass.” His heart was in his throat when he seized the amulet from the desk, tugging it over his head. You finally met his gaze and he saw the nervousness there, unsure how he could have been clueless for so long. “I’m in love with you. I’m sorry that I’ve been a fool.”

“You don’t have to do this.” 

“I want to do this.” He grabbed your hands again, scrambling for something more to say. “Please say you still want to marry me.” 

“On one condition.”

“Anything, lass.” 

“You have to wear the amulet as long as I did.” 

[haravath0t]

Mahal Kita

Pairing: Loki x Filipino!Reader

Warnings: none, just fluff! 

A/N: Ahh! It finally arrived! My first ever Loki drabble, or a Loki work in general! And it’s a Filipino!Reader too! What a combination! I’m so so excited to have been able to have do this drabble for my lovely @tomholland-96 ! Thank you Lex for being so enthusiastic about my culture! You have no idea how much I appreciate it! I hope you enjoy this as much as I do writing it! Happy readings, everyone!

*Translations will be in bold and italics!

“Nanay! Tatay! Hi! Kumusta po kayo? Okay na ba kayo?” (Mom! Dad! How are you? Are you guys okay?) You say, excitedly, beaming at your phone screen before you set your phone down on a sturdy place to Facetime your parents while you continue to set up ingredients for tonight’s dinner.

Loki couldn’t help but take his eyes off of the book he was reading to watch you. He even smiled a bit as you laughed with your parents and showing your parents the food that was steaming nicely from the pan, the nice scent filling your nostrils. It was easier to filter out the chatter coming from all sides of the table, since you already had him up in his head. He really admired the way you openly grounded your culture, and even became rather interested in it.

“Okay ma, pa, kakain na ako! Naghihintay na ng guests ko!” (Okay ma, pa, I’m going to eat now! My guests are waiting!) You say to your phone as you put the dish on the big serving plate. “Sige, anak! Nandoon ba yung boyfriend mo? Kailan makikita namin siya, ha? Gusto ko makita kung gwapo ang future asawa mo!” (Alright! Is your boyfriend there? We need to see him, ha? I want to see if your future husband is handsome!) You mom teases, earning a laugh from you. “Oh my goodness ma, isang araw po, mas gusto namin kung in person na ng meeting ninyo.” (One day, we’d rather meet you two in person) You say, shaking your head. Loki then closed his book and got up to help you put the plates and utensils on the table, making you smile and thank him. “Alright ma, pa, tatawag ko kayo bukas!” (Alright ma, pa, I will call you both tomorrow!) You say waving at the screen, smiling more when your mom and dad wave back.

“Oh, sige anak! Mag ingat ka, ha?” (Alright, you take care!) Your dad says, earning a nod from you. “Opo, Tatay! Ingat din! Love you, bye!” (Yes, dad! Take care too!) you say hanging up the phone and making your way to the table with the team waiting for you. “Alright you guys! Dig in!” you exclaim, smiling when the team quickly takes some adobo or sinigang. You laugh as you see Bucky and Sam fighting over who can get the bowl first, or Tony casually eating some of his sinigang with the rice. You took a seat next to Loki, who was quietly and patiently waiting for you. “Here, my darling, I gave you some rice on your plate,” he whispers, kissing your forehead. “Thank you, love,” you say, looking at him with a grateful smile before the two of you dig in.

Loki had been eyeing you as he helped you put the dishes away, biting his lip nervously. He doesn’t know why, but this question has been itching on him for quite a while. So, with a breath, he asks.

“Darling?”

“Yeah, my love?”

“Ummm… I have something that I would like to ask.”

“Go ahead!”

“Can you teach me tagalog?”

You get surprised by this as you put the last dish away, looking over to see the poor guy nervous. You couldn’t help the smile and giggle that left your lips. “Can I ask why?” you were getting more and more excited by the second. Loki was now scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. “You see, I thought I could impress your parents with it. When we go and meet them. I’d find it rather shameful and disrespectful if I didn’t at least know about your heritage and your language. Even if it’s a little.” He reasons, causing you to smile even more and walk to him so that you can cup his cheeks and peck his lips. “Well, if you want to darling, then I don’t see why I can’t try. If anything, I’m actually so so happy that you actually want to learn something about it.” You say happily, making Loki reciprocate a small and soft smile back. “Well, I am relieved,” he starts, holding your hand so that you two could go to his room, “Because, you see… erhm… I did try to learn it myself, the language that is. I searched the local midgardian libraries, even asked Stark, but, I believe I don’t think I’m making much progress. I suppose it’s more assuring if my Filipino significant other helps me.” “It’s hard to find a perfectly good definition for some words, but I’ll help you!”

And so you did, you and Loki sat next to each other on the bed, going through basic phrases like “Kumusta po kayo?” (How are you?) “Ako po si Loki” (I am Loki) “Maraming salamat po” (Thank you so much) and so much more. If anything, the god was actually progressing quick, so much quicker than you thought, that you both decided to take the rest of the night off to watch a corny Filipino movie on Netflix (A Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla movie, of course). You were both now laying down in your room, watching the movie on the TV in your lover’s arms, hugging his form while nuzzling your head into his neck. You were smiling in content, still quite happy that Loki was so committed to make a good impression on your parents.

He was now combing your hair as you and Loki made fun of the lines, but still kept watching; a newly found guilty pleasure the both of you surely will have in the future. You didn’t realize, however, that your tiredness is getting the best of you, eyes subconsciously and slowly closing and open as you slowly succumb to sleep. “Y/N? Darling? How do you say I love you?” Loki asks as he watches the characters confessing their love to each other. “Mmmm...mahal kita…” you mutter softly as your eyes start to stay closed a bit longer. 

Loki looked over at you and couldn’t help the smile that had appeared on your face. You were so beautiful and cute, and you were comfortable in his arms and his touch. “Ah… seems like my precious Filipina must take her rest then…” he whispers, more to himself, before he leans over towards your almost sleeping form. “Goodnight, Y/N, my darling, mahal kita.” Loki whispers in your ear softly with a smile before he covers you both in blankets. “Mahal na mahal kita, Loki.” (I love you so much, Loki) is the last words you say before you are completely asleep in Loki’s arms. Loki, despite the rarity of him sleeping, tries tonight. Admiring you in front of him, he whispers, hoping you’ll somehow hear: “Sana… sana sapat ang pagmamahal ko sayo.” (Hopefully my love for you is enough)

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[petersasteria]

Hi Ate K!!! Another Disney request of mine is Your Mother and Mine with Haz O. please? Maraming salamat pO!

Your Mother and Mine - Haz Osterfield

Inspired by Marriage Story x

Haz x Single Mom!Reader

"𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡"

“Good evening everyone!” Harrison said with a smile. “I’m Harrison; Y/N’s boyfriend and I’m so glad all of you are here tonight to celebrate Y/N’s success. I’ve always known that she’d do amazing things; she just had to take the risk and it led her to opening up her own business.”

“She said she loved to paint, but she oddly didn’t want to paint on a canvas and said that she wanted to paint on other stuff. So, I suggested that she should produce notebooks and paint the cover of it and sell it. I bought the first one she ever made and everyone saw it and convinced her to start a business for it and she did.” He smiled at you and you smiled back.

“I’d just like to say a few words if you don't mind.” Harrison said as he cleared his throat and looked directly at you as you hugged your son who was sitting on your lap.

“I love Y/N so much and I could just go on forever about it. But because we only have limited time, I’ll just tell you the things that I love MOST about her."

“I love how Y/N can make people comfortable no matter what the situation is. Like, really. I don’t know what’s with her, but she has that vibe that makes you comfortable around her and it makes me feel at home. You’re my home, Y/N.”

“I love how Y/N listens to everything and whenever she listens, she listens with all her heart. Not half-assed or anything and when you stop talking, she urges you to continue because she’s really interested in what you’re saying. Sometimes, it doesn’t benefit me or her son, Riley, because whenever it’s time to go home from an event, she’s still at the table listening to someone’s story that could’ve been told over the phone. So, you could say that I’m pretty thankful that this event is being held at our house this time.” He chuckled and so did everyone.

“Y/N is like that frog lady from ‘Meet The Robinsons’. Not because she teaches frogs music, but because she’s always right. She always knows the right thing to do, the right thing to say, and she can just be generally right about everything. Even if she’s not sure of one particular thing and she guesses it, she ends up being right. Like that one time when everyone wasn’t sure who her brother was dating because it was a secret and she said that it was all fake. Lo and behold, she was right.”

“Y/N pushes everyone around her to do better because she believes in them with every bone in her body and I think that’s really beautiful. I also love how Y/N doesn’t know how to do some things around the house or anything she finds complicated to do because she asks me for help. It makes me feel needed and sort of like a hero. But that doesn’t happen often because despite not knowing how to do those things, she tries for me.”

“I love how Y/N’s such a family person. She would do anything for her family and wouldn’t ask for anything in return because according to her, seeing them happy or making them happy or knowing that she put a smile on their face was worth all the things she went through.”

“Y/N gives great presents and it only makes sense that received the most amazing present she ever got: Riley. She’s a mother who really plays, y’know? Whatever Riley wants to play, she plays it too. Riley’s only 5 years old and to be honest, it’s kind of tiring to play because you lose energy, right? Not Y/N, though. She doesn’t complain about playing too much or about how tired she is or about how too much everything is even though we all know it gets too much sometimes.”

“She’s competitive and strong and brave which made me fall in love with her in the first place.”

“She goes grocery shopping all the time even though we don’t eat that much. You would think that it’s so selfish of her to buy so much food, but once you find out that she cooks all of it and gives to the ones in need, you’ll understand.”

“She doesn’t know how to dance, but I love it when she dances. Seeing her so free and not stressed is so refreshing.”

“She knows me and I mean really knows me. She knows what I want even before I say anything about it and she already knows what I’m thinking or what I will be thinking about even though I haven’t thought about it yet. She just... knows me.”

Harrison looked at you lovingly as he finished, “She’s my muse.”

“As I stand here in front of all of you, I’d just like to do this.” Harrison walked towards you and got down on one knee and took a ring out of his pocket.

“I’m sorry if it’s not in a box. It would’ve been obvious.” Harrison chuckled nervously as tears streamed down your face. “I love you so much and you’re worth more than anything in this world. Y/N, will you marry me?”

You didn’t trust your voice to speak so just nodded and he grinned as he slipped the ring on your finger. Harrison pulled you in for a loving kiss before pulling away to kiss Riley’s forehead.

“I love you.” He sighed happily.

“I love you too.” You smiled.

* * * *

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​ @silencetheslaves​ @imeanlifesabitshit​ @joyleenl​ @hjoficrecs​ @blueleatherbag​ @poguesholland​ @harryismysunflower​​ @lonikje​ @lizzyosterfield​​ @turtoix​ @badreputationlove​ @starlight-starks​ @swiftmind​ @sovereignparker​ @pearce14​ @justanamesstuff​ @chewymoustachio​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​ @hotforharrison​ @euphorichxlland​ @givebuckyhisplumsnow

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell @justasmisunderstoodasloki @rubberducky-jrr​ @allyz​ @osterfieldnholland @miraclesoflove @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @drie-the-derp @hollands-weasley @itstaskeen @call-me-baby-gir1 @the-panwitch @iamaunicorn4704 @geminiparkers​ @holland-styles​ @calltothewild​ @spidey-reids-2003 @whatthefuckimbisexual​ @justanothermarvelmaniac @unsaidholland @musicalkeys @lost-in-the-stars03 @hufflepuffprincess24 @hollanddolanfangirl @parkerpeter24 @bellelittleoff @agentnataliahofferson @aqiise @lexirv​ @blairscott​ @hi-im-maddie​ @xfirstfemale-marauderx @u-rrose

[richincolor]

We have six books on our release calendar this week! Are any of them on your TBR list?

More Than Just a Pretty Face by Syed M. Masood Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Danyal Jilani doesn’t lack confidence. He may not be the smartest guy in the room, but he’s funny, gorgeous, and going to make a great chef one day. His father doesn’t approve of his career choice, but that hardly matters. What does matter is the opinion of Danyal’s longtime crush, the perfect-in-all-ways Kaval, and her family, who consider him a less than ideal arranged marriage prospect.

When Danyal gets selected for Renaissance Man–a school-wide academic championship–it’s the perfect opportunity to show everyone he’s smarter than they think. He recruits the brilliant, totally-uninterested-in-him Bisma to help with the competition, but the more time Danyal spends with her…the more he learns from her…the more he cooks for her…the more he realizes that happiness may be staring him right in his pretty face.

Lobizona (Wolves of No World #1) by Romina Garber Wednesday Books

Some people ARE illegal.

Lobizonas do NOT exist.

Both of these statements are false.

Manuela Azul has been crammed into an existence that feels too small for her. As an undocumented immigrant who’s on the run from her father’s Argentine crime-family, Manu is confined to a small apartment and a small life in Miami, Florida.

Until Manu’s protective bubble is shattered.

Her surrogate grandmother is attacked, lifelong lies are exposed, and her mother is arrested by ICE. Without a home, without answers, and finally without shackles, Manu investigates the only clue she has about her past–a mysterious “Z” emblem—which leads her to a secret world buried within our own. A world connected to her dead father and his criminal past. A world straight out of Argentine folklore, where the seventh consecutive daughter is born a bruja and the seventh consecutive son is a lobizón, a werewolf. A world where her unusual eyes allow her to belong.

As Manu uncovers her own story and traces her real heritage all the way back to a cursed city in Argentina, she learns it’s not just her U.S. residency that’s illegal. . . .it’s her entire existence.

Don’t Ask Me Where I’m From by Jennifer De Leon Simon Schuster

Fifteen-year-old Liliana is fine, thank you very much. It’s fine that her best friend, Jade, is all caught up in her new boyfriend lately. It’s fine that her inner-city high school is disorganized and underfunded. It’s fine that her father took off again—okay, maybe that isn’t fine, but what is Liliana supposed to do? She’s fifteen! Being left with her increasingly crazy mom? Fine. Her heathen little brothers? Fine, fine, fine. But it turns out Dad did leave one thing behind besides her crazy family. Before he left, he signed Liliana up for a school desegregation program called METCO. And she’s been accepted.

Being accepted into METCO, however, isn’t the same as being accepted at her new school. In her old school, Liliana—half-Guatemalan and half-Salvadorian—was part of the majority where almost everyone was a person of color. But now at Westburg, where almost everyone is white, the struggles of being a minority are unavoidable. It becomes clear that the only way to survive is to lighten up—whiten up. And if Dad signed her up for this program, he wouldn’t have just wanted Liliana to survive, he would have wanted her to thrive. So what if Liliana is now going by Lili? So what if she’s acting like she thinks she’s better than her old friends? It’s not a big deal. It’s fine.

But then she discovers the gutting truth about her father: He’s not on one of his side trips. And it isn’t that he doesn’t want to come home…he can’t. He’s undocumented and he’s been deported back to Guatemala. Soon, nothing is fine, and Lili has to make a choice: She’s done trying to make her white classmates and teachers feel more comfortable. Done changing who she is, denying her culture and where she came from. They want to know where she’s from, what she’s about? Liliana is ready to tell them.

Illegal (Disappeared #2) by Francisco X. Stork Scholastic Press

What does it mean to be illegal in the United States? Life in Mexico is a death sentence for Emiliano and his sister Sara.

To escape the violent cartel that is after them, they flee across the border, seeking a better life in the United States and hoping that they can find a way to bring their pursuers to justice.

Sara turns herself over to the authorities to apply for asylum.

Emiliano enters the country illegally, planning to live with their father.

But now Sara is being held indefinitely in a detention facility, awaiting an asylum hearing that may never come, finding it harder every day to hold on to her faith and hope. Life for Emiliano is not easy either. Everywhere he goes, it’s clear that he doesn’t belong. And all the while, the cartel is closing in on them…

Emiliano sets off on a tense and dangerous race to find justice, but can he expose the web of crimes from his place in the shadows?

Court of Lions (Mirage #2) by Somaiya Daud Flatiron Books

Two identical girls, one a princess, the other a rebel. Who will rule the empire?

After being swept up into the brutal Vathek court, Amani, the ordinary girl forced to serve as the half-Vathek princess’s body double, has been forced into complete isolation. The cruel but complex princess, Maram, with whom Amani had cultivated a tenuous friendship, discovered Amani’s connection to the rebellion and has forced her into silence, and if Amani crosses Maram once more, her identity – and her betrayal – will be revealed to everyone in the court.

Amani is desperate to continue helping the rebellion, to fight for her people’s freedom. But she must make a devastating decision: will she step aside, and watch her people suffer, or continue to aid them, and put herself and her family in mortal danger? And whatever she chooses, can she bear to remain separated, forever, from Maram’s fiancé, Idris?

A Map to the Sun by Sloane Leong First Second

One summer day, Ren meets Luna at a beachside basketball court and a friendship is born. But when Luna moves to back to Oahu, Ren’s messages to her friend go unanswered.

Years go by. Then Luna returns, hoping to rekindle their friendship. Ren is hesitant. She’s dealing with a lot, including family troubles, dropping grades, and the newly formed women’s basketball team at their highschool. With Ren’s new friends and Luna all on the basketball team, the lines between their lives on and off the court begin to blur. During their first season, this diverse and endearing group of teens are challenged in ways that make them reevaluate just who and how they trust.

Sloane Leong’s evocative storytelling about the lives of these young women is an ode to the dynamic nature of friendship.

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

Mirage. By Somaiya Daud. New York: Flatiron Books, 2018.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: YA sci fi/fantasy

Part of a Series? Yes, Mirage #1

Summary: In a star system dominated by the brutal Vathek empire, eighteen-year-old Amani is a dreamer. She dreams of what life was like before the occupation; she dreams of writing poetry like the old-world poems she adores; she dreams of receiving a sign from Dihya that one day, she, too, will have adventure, and travel beyond her isolated moon. But when adventure comes for Amani, it is not what she expects: she is kidnapped by the regime and taken in secret to the royal palace, where she discovers that she is nearly identical to the cruel half-Vathek Princess Maram. The princess is so hated by her conquered people that she requires a body double, someone to appear in public as Maram, ready to die in her place. As Amani is forced into her new role, she can’t help but enjoy the palace’s beauty—and her time with the princess’ fiancé, Idris. But the glitter of the royal court belies a world of violence and fear. If Amani ever wishes to see her family again, she must play the princess to perfection...because one wrong move could lead to her death.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: violence, blood, political oppression, torture

Overview: As far as debuts go, this is one of the stronger ones I’ve read in some time. While the blurb promises a thrilling saga about survival, Mirage is focused less on characters dodging assassination attempts and more on holding on to one’s identity in the face of cultural suppression. I very much enjoyed Daud’s prose and her way of communicating emotion, which forged meaningful connections between characters and overcame what qualms I had about plot. While I talk about those qualms below, I do think that Mirage is a thoughtful book, and I am looking forward to the next installment in the series.

Writing: Daud’s prose is very descriptive and flows nicely without straying into purple territory. I wouldn’t call it “poetic,” because Daud doesn’t burden the reader with metaphor or lush descriptions of her world, but she does provide enough vivid detail to give the reader a clear picture of what’s going on, and then lets the rhythm and mood sweep the reader away. For example, Daud might leave a description of a palace as having “geometric designs” or a qaftan as “grey with red detailing” but focus more attention on how characters are feeling or interacting with each other.

Daud also has a talent for setting a good pace. While reading, I was worried that we were going to be subject to a lengthy “training session” in which Amani learns the ins and outs of court life, and while we do get some of that, it doesn’t go on for pages and pages. The training isn’t important, and Daud knows that. She describes just enough for the reader to get the idea of what kinds of things Amani has to learn and moves on. She also doesn’t linger in scenes that don’t need it, so we aren’t reading pages and pages of, say, Amani at a party - we get just enough to see Amani accomplish her goal before we’re on to the next thing. It was refreshing and kept the plot moving.

Plot: The premise of this novel is that Amani, an 18-year-old woman living under an oppressive regime, is taken from her home and forced to serve as a body double to Maram, the princess and heir to her oppressor’s empire. Amani’s people inhabit a planet called Andala and its moons - Amani herself lives on a moon called Cadiz - and are ruled over by the Vath, who have partially occupied, partially colonized the area. Though the Vath have a firm grip on power and have suppressed much of Kushaila culture (the Kushaila being one of the cultural/ethnic groups on Andala), rebellion still lingers in various pockets around the star system, threatening the life of Maram, who has made herself despised by the Andalaans through her cruelty.

The plot isn’t so much about Amani encountering life-threatening situations (by posing as Maram) as it is Amani struggling to hang on to her cultural identity. She becomes every bit the Vath princess, but finds comfort in her native language, her religion (or spirituality, or folklore - I’m not sure how to describe it), poetry, culturally-significant tattoos, and so on. As a result, this book is a wonderful exploration of how survival and preservation can be act of rebellion, which Amani herself thinks about this often. The sense is enhanced when we consider that Maram, the princess she is tasked to protect, is half Vath, half Kushaila, and struggles with accepting her Kushaila heritage, while Idris, Maram’s fiance and one of the few living members of a major Kushaila house, longs to connect to his native culture after living under Vath rule for so long.

Despite loving the message about cultural identity and survival, I do with Amani’s body doubling duties had been presented as a bit more risky than they were. The first few times Amani poses as Maram, there seems to be little threat to either Maram’s or Amani’s lives. Amani (as Maram) goes to a couple parties or visits Maram’s relatives or sits in on a political meeting - nothing where an assassination attempt seems to be a real possibility. The only time I got the sense that body doubling was necessary was towards the end, when more public appearances carried more potential for disruption. While I don’t think this book needed more threats of violence or “action adventure” to be considered “good,” I do think more risk could have enhanced the message about survival and sisterhood (which comes to fruition later).

Eventually, Amani does involve herself in riskier scenarios when she agrees to act as a spy, feeding information to the resistance while becoming increasingly more sympathetic towards Maram. While I liked that Amani got more to do, Amani’s efforts at playing politics seemed sloppy. While posing as Maram, she advises her father’s war council on which cities to bomb, which could have been a good subversion (to direct attention away from certain areas), but she advises them to bomb a culturally significant region of the planet and then acts like she had no choice. Moreover, Amani didn’t seem to be enthusiastic about the rebellion; she does her part, but it’s not necessarily a driving force in the decisions she makes. I put this down to her evolving feelings towards Maram, but still, I would have liked to see her be more passionate about the cause so that the conflict between supporting the rebels and supporting a friend is more pronounced.

Characters: Amani, our narrator and protagonist, is easy to connect with because she voices her emotions so much. The reader is always aware of how Amani is feeling, when she’s sad or lonely, when she’s finding comfort, when she’s connecting to others or to her poetry. Being privy to these emotions helped overcome moments when Amani is relatively passive. Throughout much of the book, Amani is obligated to do as she’s told, act as she’s expected, etc. which makes her seem like a mere pawn and just trying to survive the day. Of course, preserving her cultural identity is active, but I think even these moments could have been put into Amani’s hands a bit more. I also think 

Maram, the princess for whom Amani serves a body double, has a very satisfying arc. She starts out cruel and arrogant, mistrusting everyone around her and doing her best to assert that she’s Vath, but over time, the facade begins to break down, and she becomes more sympathetic. I very much enjoyed how her relationship with Amani evolved, and her crisis of cultural identity complimented Amani’s story nicely.

Idris, Maram’s fiance and Amani’s love interest, is compelling in that he embodies a different facet of cultural suppression and identity crisis than Maram or Amani. He was only 10 when his family was wiped out for first rebelling, then surrendering to the Vath, and has primarily grown up in Vath courts ever since. He is engaged to Maram in the attempt to appease the Andalaans, making Vath rule more palatable if the heir to the empire is half-Kushaila and is married to a Kushaila. Idris remembers almost none of his native language, nor does he recognize the cultural significance of certain Kushaila things (like tattoos, etc.). His connection to Amani, then, is partially a connection with his native culture, and he learns more and more about where he came from by talking to her. While I enjoyed the drama inherent in his romance with Amani (how does one overcome the obstacle of being engaged to the princess but falling for her body double?), I did wish more was done to show a connection between them on a personal level. Idris seems to be in love with Amani primarily because of what she can teach him about Kushaila culture; most of the intimacy between them springs from discussions about Idris’ past or his lack of knowledge, with Amani filling in the blanks. Granted, there is a moment when Idris expresses admiration for Amani’s bravery, but I thought it was overshadowed by his draw to her as a representation of what he lost.

Other: The worldbuilding in this story was fairly compelling, combining the realities of cultural suppression with a unique science fiction setting that drew on Middle Eastern/Arabic/Islamic (I’m not sure which, specifically) aesthetics. I liked how the richness of Kushaila culture contrasted with the minimalism and austerity of the Vath because it reminded me of discussions about aesthetics and class or aesthetics and power - the “clean,” conservative tastes of the ruling class are in part an exercise in suppression and conformity, so I thought that worked well in the political environment Daud had created. I do think, however, that there were times when Daud would introduce something and not make full use of it. Maram, for example, has a large bird of prey called a roc, which does Maram’s bidding - but it only shows up once. There are droids roaming around, mostly in combat or violent situations, but I frequently forgot that they existed because they are almost never integral to the scene. I hope that the worldbuilding will continue to grow in subsequent installments in this series, as I really liked what I read in Mirage, but just wanted a bit more.

Recommendations: I would recommend this book if you’re interested in science fiction and fantasy, space operas, questions of cultural identity, poetry, and growing rebellions.

[believexfanzine]

Emmanuel Jasmin of DELUSION OF TERROR RECORDS

(Manila, Philippines)

April 2015/Believe Fanzine issue #4

delusion.of.terror@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/dotrecordsdistroph03

instagram: dotrecordsph

Kamusta Emman? What made you want to start a label? How was the first release?

Hi Rann! All is well. Just finish listening to Feral Trash 'Trashfiction'LP. Awesome stuff,i highly recommend it. Regarding the label,the label started out after me and my younger brother went on a small South East Asian tour back in 2003. It started out as a distro at first since i've acquired a lot of Hc punk titles from those places i've visited. The label part was born a couple of months after with the idea of releasing local and foreign bands that i like. The 1st official release came out as a collaboration with friends from the now defunct Take 4 Collective. That was the Vitamin X "Pissed Off" CD back in 2005, since the band was currently on tour in the region at that time. Working with friends make things more easier and less complicated so to speak.

 Since that time, where have you looked for inspiration and guidance in running the label? How much have your ideals and views changed since the beginning of it all?

Running the label is more of a trial and error thing for me. It has been a learning curve for sure. One thing i learned about running the label is that you need to have a steady source of income to finance it, in other words you need to have a regular job. Since i consider the label more of a hobby, I always save up money from my work to keep the financial side of the label active and current. I dont rely much on label/distro sales to finance or cover up the cost of running the label. There are expenses that will surely arise when you least expect it. So the best way for me to deal with it is to allocate some of my personal earnings which would serve as the backbone of the label/distro finances. So far i was able to manage it. I always keep in mind that the main reason why the label got started is to release bands that i LIKE regardless if its going to sell or not, at least I'm able to see something materialize out of the band's hard work. That is more than enough for me.

 Along with the label, you've obviously expanded your focus beyond just local bands and included mostly bands from Asia. What made you focus on such area?

As previously mentioned my idea of starting the label is to release bands that i like. So i dont confine my releases to just local bands. I do think that there are tons of good bands out there that needs to be heard beyond our waters. I believe that we should keep an active and open communication with neighboring scenes in our region. Doing co releases with other labels/bands outside our country is a good way to promote our own scene to them,the same goes with their scene to us. Having our own releases being available in other countries means a lot as well. It's more of a mutual cooperation.

 How did you start connecting with bands outside your own country?

I started being in contact with bands outside our country thru zine writing and tape trading. Prior to me having a label/distro i used to edit my own fanzine called Resist To Exist. Thru my zine i was able to reach out to various zinester outside our local scene. It gives me a better perspective / insight to know whats going on beyond our own scene at that time.

 In relation to the previous question, how do you choose the bands that you want to release/ co-relase or distro?

Before i join a particular release i always make sure that i like the band. That's the most important thing. Music & lyric wise should be appealing to me. I want the band to be part of the label for the right reasons, at the same time most of the bands i work with are the ones i have an affinity with. As for the distro titles,same thing. I always carry titles that i like. I often distribute bands that have made an impression or impact on me. The distro part pretty much describes my musical taste.

 Doing record label over the years, what's your stand in this digital age with free download of music from the internet and at the same time vinyl records started to increase its demand?

It always goes down to the listener if they ought to get thier music online for free or buy the actual physical copies. To each thier own. If you think that it would be more convenient to just download the music online and just pop it on your ipod or whatever devices you have then feel free to do it. Maximize the technology you have but i do hope that you'll be able to get something out of it. Whatever floats your boat.

As for Vinyl records making a huge comeback,it's kinda like a double edge sword. It's good in a sense that a lot of bands are able to release their stuff in that format and it's one of the many ways to properly document thier recorded material which is great. The only problem that im seeing is that the prices of vinyl records are getting more expensive. Expensive in a sense that there those who would sell a particular release higher than the normal price. I mean i dont have a problem if you make money out of your label releases as long as you do it fair & square. What i dont really like are the bootleg copies which are being sold at insane prices. Just because this release was done in a limited pressing doesn't justify the idea of selling it 5x times the original price when it 1st came out. A bootleg is a bootleg.

 What is your favorite thing about running Delusion of Terror Records/Distro?

The thing i like most about running the label is being able to release bands that i love and adore. It's an awesome feeling working with bands that you strongly believe in. Helping them spread thier releases to a wide array of folks and getting positive & not so good feedback makes you want to strive more and work harder for future projects.

 Do you think the future is still bright in the Philippine hardcore punk scene?

The local scene is pretty much alive and kicking and it still has a lot to offer in my opinion.There are a lot of good bands here that are worth checking out. We just need to go over the extra mile to further boost our scene here. If a band releases a demo or zine maker has new issue out go buy and pick a copy. If someone puts on a show always pay the required entrance fee and dont fuck things up. Small stuff like these definitely helps the scene. Complaining and whining about everything you despise about the scene wont do you any good if your not doing anything to help or rectify the situation. Talk without action equates to nothing.

 What advice can you give to kids who want to start a label/distro?

- If you’re going to do a particular release always try to check which format suits your budget so you can plan it well.

-Release bands that you strongly believe in.

- Always do a test print of the cover/sleeve of your releases to ensure that you have the right information,same goes with the proper length & width of the layout before sending them to the printing press.

-Feel free to trade your own releases with other label/distros. It helps spread the label name and it promotes the bands as well.

 Maraming Salamat Emman! Where can we check out your distro and releases?

Thanks Rann for the interview, appreciate the support. All the best with your upcoming projects. Mabuhay ka!

For updates regarding the label/distro you can check the following pages. Thank you for reading and have a good day! :)

[mohammedawahid]

Hadith's

Narrated Sahl (RA): Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "I and the one who looks after an orphan will be like this in Paradise," showing his middle and index fingers and separating them.

(Sahih al-Bukhari , Book 68, Hadith 53)

Narrated Sahl (RA): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "There is a gate in Paradise called Ar-Raiyan, and those who observe fasts will enter through it on the Day of Resurrection and none except them will enter through it. It will be said, 'Where are those who used to observe fasts?' They will get up, and none except them will enter through it. After their entry the gate will be closed and nobody will enter through it."

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 30, Hadith 6)

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: ‘Whoever fasts Ramadan out of faith and the hope of reward will be forgiven his previous sins.”

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Book 7, Hadith 1710)

Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): The Prophet (SAW) said, "There is a garden from the gardens of Paradise between my house and my pulpit, and my pulpit is on my Lake Fount (Al-Kauthar).

(Sahih al-Bukhari 1888, Book 29, Hadith 22)

Abu Sa'id (Allah be pleased with him) reported: Dates were brought to Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him), and he said: These dates are not like our dates, whereupon a man said: We sold two sa's of our dates (in order to get) one sa', of these (fine dates), whereupon Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: That is interest; so return (these dates of fine quality), and get your (inferior dates) ; then sell our dates (for money) and buy for us (with the help of money) such (fine dates).

(Sahih Muslim 1594b, Book 22, Hadith 123)

Narrated Ibn `Umar (RA): Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "When the people of Paradise have entered Paradise and the people of the Fire have entered the Fire, death will be brought and will be placed between the Fire and Paradise, and then it will be slaughtered, and a call will be made (that), 'O people of Paradise, no more death! O people of the Fire, no more death! 'So the people of Paradise will have happiness added to their previous happiness, and the people of the Fire will have sorrow added to their previous sorrow."

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 8, Book 81, Hadith 137)

Abu Hurayra (RA) reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The worst of my community are those who speak a lot, those who are diffuse in speech and those who fill their mouth with words. The best of my community are the best of them in character."

(Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Book 1, Hadith 1308)

'A'isha (RA) reported Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) as saying: The acts most pleasing to Allah are those which are done continuously, even if they are small. and when 'A'isha (R.A) did any act she did it continuously.

(Sahih Muslim, Book 6, Hadith 258)

It was narrated that Jundub bin 'Abdullah (RA) said: "We were with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and we were strong youths, so we learned faith before we learned Qur'an. Then we learned Qur'an and our faith increased thereby."

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Book 1, Hadith 64)

Narrated `Aisha (RA): Allah's Messenger (SAW) used to treat with a Ruqya saying, "O the Lord of the people! Remove the trouble The cure is in Your Hands, and there is none except You who can remove it (the disease)."

(Sahih al-Bukhari 5744, Book 76, Hadith 59)

Narrated Jabir (RA): Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him) said, "When you intend going to bed at night, put out the lights, close the doors, tie the mouths of the water skins, and cover your food and drinks." Hamrnam said, "I think he (the other narrator) added, 'even with piece of wood across the utensil.'

(Sahih al-Bukhari 6296, Book 79, Hadith 68)

Narrated Jubair bin Mutim (RA): That he heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying, "The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise."

(Bulugh al-Maram, Book 16, Hadith 1455)

Narrated Sahl bin Sa`d Al-Saidi (RA): Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "A place in Paradise equal to the size of a lash is better than the whole world and whatever is in it."

(Sahih al-Bukhari 3250, Book 59, Hadith 61)

Narrated Hudhaifa (RA): Allah's Messenger (SAW) said to us, "Honesty descended from the Heavens and settled in the roots of the hearts of men (faithful believers), and then the Qur'an was revealed and the people read the Qur'an, (and learnt it from it) and also learnt it from the Sunna." Both Qur'an and Sunna strengthened their (the faithful believers') honesty.

(Sahih al-Bukhari 7276, Book 96, Hadith 9)

Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW) saying, "The best way to celebrate the remembrance of Allah is to say: La ilaha illallah (there is no true god except Allah)." [At-Tirmidhi]

(Riyad as-Salihin 1437, Book 15, Hadith 30)

[haravath0t]

106 FOLLOWERS?!?! / requests

HUH?!?

Oh. My. God. You guys. HOW?!? PREPARE FOR SOME SAP!!

I have...no words.... thank you thank you thank you!! Literally I have no words. I never really thought about surpassing more than 50 alone (and 50 is a big accomplishment and a pipe dream for me in itself!!) so 106?!?! Holy shit I never realized I had a great lil community THATS growing!!

I gotta extend my thank yous!

First, HI NEW FOLLOWERS!! Welcome to the fandom-basurero blog! It’s a little tiny blog, but I am appreciative of each and every one of you guys. It’s scary putting out work... but a like or a reblog or comment? You have no idea how it makes my day. I promise I want to put out content you all deserve. And I want to be able to create a safe space and a transparent one in this blog. So please, if you ever wanna reach out and talk to me, introduce yourself, request, do so!! You can dm, ask, or anything! I’ll always get to you!

Literally thank you to @world-of-aus , my lovely bucket for literally being the reason why I began writing in the first place. Thank you for acting like my mentor, but also for being a wonderful best friend. @lookiamtrying MINA YOU TOO! MY SAMMY!! Thank you for literally being super supportive of my work and for giving me the pleasure to get to know you!! You truly give off the very best ideas!!

@tomholland-96 - YOU TOO BBY!! Freaking love you so much thank you for also helping me during the times where I wanna delete my work so bad and staying up with me to help out. Thank you thank you thank you. @whew-oh-em-gee MY HEARTTTTTTTT GIRL I FUCKING LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR LITERALLY MAKING THIS WRITING PROCESS FUN!! You seriously make me laugh through it as we make our own works as well 😭😭😭

Never would I forget my Filipino writing community!! Although, I am starting to know a few, I really really am appreciative of them! For my Filipino beauties, maraming salamat sa suporta ninyo, kasi ang hirap talaga mag gawa ng Filipino!reader dito, tsaka mahirap mg isip ng mga kuwento na narepresent ng Filipino Culture. So thank you. @heyiamthatbitch Alex literally your beautiful insights to my work? Oh my god I get soft and mushy because WOW you take time to go through my work? And you actually take time to comment? Oh wow... literally thank you... I’m seriously grateful. @buckybarnesthehotshot I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOUR REACTIONS AND REBLOGS SO MUCH! @rodrikstark you really have been pushing me to put the best Filipino!reader work possible from what I have, so thank you for keeping the motivation to keep this representation going ❤️

God, thank you thank you thank you thank you. This is so big to my standards. May this be the first of many. SO BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR SOME APPRECIATION ACTION GOING ON!! WE ARE CELEBRATING!! (*cough cough* requests *cough cough*)

[lovekuwski]

The Truth Untold

Disclaimer: This is a special chapter from my SungJoy Fan Fiction on twitter. This work is fiction only and any resemblance to real life events are purely coincidental. 

-START- 

Sean took heavy steps towards the shore. Hindi niya alam kung dahil ba sa alak na nainom kaya siya nahihilo, o dahil sa sobrang kaba. Nonetheless, he slowly found his way to their meeting place. 

Jasmine was at least a meter away from him. She was sitting on the edge of the beach chair, sketching something on the sand. Likod pa lamang ng babae ang nakikita niya ngunit mas lumakas lamang ang kabog ng dibdib nito. His grip on the beer he’s holding tightened as he took a deep breath to calm himself. Sean wanted to run back and hide in the cottage where they were supposed to rest, but the thought itself was absurd. Why would he leave a girl hanging? 

Besides, he couldn’t take to lose this chance of clearing things out with her. Tama na ang pagtakbo. 

Jasmine lifted her head up when she heard Sean cleared his throat. Tipid itong ngumiti at binitiwan ang maikling stick na nilalaro kanina. Sean, on the other hand, sat on the chair that was still available; just beside Jasmine’s. 

“Hi.”.

Sean just glanced at her before putting the other bottles he brought down. Binigay niya ang isa kay Jasmine. 

They opened each bottle and stared at how the moon’s light reflected on the ocean. The sound of the waves crashing filled their silence that lasted for a minute or two. 

No, make it three...or five. 

They sat there in silence for a good ten minutes. 

It was a breather for the both of them. Somehow, the silence calmed them down and gave them enough time to compose themselves. Sean was no longer nervous and Jasmine... well, the pounding on her chest already stopped. 

“I actually recognized you right away.” The guy turned his head to look at Jasmine who broke the silence. Their eyes met right after and that made Jasmine gave up a small smile. “Nung una nating kita pagbalik ko. Sa restaurant. Nakilala talaga kita agad no’n.” Dahan-dahang tumango si Sean bago lumagok muli sa kanyang bote. 

“Alam ko,” he replied. 

Jasmine’s face heat up and the blush from it was too obvious. Umiwas ito ng tingin at pinaypayan ang sarili. Sean chuckled and chugged the whole bottle. Simot na ito at pangalawang bote niya na din ‘yon. Kailangan niya talaga ng alak para makapagsalita man lang kahit papano. 

“I was trying to cheer you up.” It was Jasmine’s turn to look at Sean. The guy was already staring at her and that had her in panic for a second. 

“Sa kasal nina Jim. I was trying to stop you from crying. Simula sa simbahan hanggang sa reception kasi, umiiyak ka na.”

Jasmine went back to that day. It was when Sean annoyed the hell out of her by teasing her every now and then. ‘Yun din yung araw na nakipagsuntukan ito kay John. Yung araw na nakita niyang magalit ng sobra ang lalaki. 

“Alam ko,” she smiled at him. 

Tumango ang lalaki at nag-iwas ng tingin. Jasmine crept a smile when the guy’s ear turned red. 

Silence filled the air again. Pareho silang tahimik, nagpapakiramdaman. Hinihintay kung sino ang unang magsasalita at maglalakas loob na buksan ang usapan na gusto nilang klaruhin. Fortunately for Sean, Jasmine took the initiative.

“Ako ba yung tinutukoy mo kanina?” Sumulyap ang lalaki sakanya bago tumitig sa dagat. Pakiramdan nito, may isang dosenang elepante ang patuloy na tumatapak sa dibdib niya.

“Ako rin ba tinutukoy mo kanina?”

“I asked you first.”

Sumandal sa upuan si Sean, pinaglalaruan ang hawak na bote ng beer. Iniisip niya kung paano ba susundan ang balak niyang sabihin. Mahigit walong taon na rin kasi. Hindi niya alam kung mahihiya ba siya, maiinis, o matatawa. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang dapat maramdaman sa oras na sabihin niya ang dahilan kung bakit sila ganito ngayon. Hindi niya alam kung handa na ba siyang sabihin.

Pero, nandito na rin naman, ‘di ba? Ilang porsyento pa ba ang tyansa na makakakuha siya muli ng ganitong pagkakataon para makausap ng masinsinan ang babae? Posibleng wala. Posibleng hindi na kailanmang muli. Kaya dapat, kinukuha na. ‘Di ba?

“Second year tayo nang mapansin kong iba na yung pagtingin ko sa’yo.” Tumingin siya sa mata ng babae. Desido na. Kukunin na.

“Last term second year pa rin nung matanggap ko. Ayoko pa kasing tanggapin nung una. Di ko pa tinatanggap sa sarili ko na gusto kita. Syempre, universal rule kasi yun ‘di ba?”

“Bawal mainlove sa tropa. Lalo na kapag bestfriend mo pa.”

Sean tried his best to avoid what he’s been feeling. He did what any other person with the same situation would do, he avoided her. Simula second term hanggang last term noong second year nila, iniwasan niya ang babae. He tried to get rid of his feelings by getting rid of her. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, especially when his bestfriend was considered a chick in their campus. He was known to be the protective type, hence the confusion of every one when guys at their campus seemed to have taken easy access in pursuing Jasmine.

Of course it was hell for him. Kaya nga napagdesisyunan niyang itigil ang kalokohan. Sino bang niloko niya? Siya lang din naman ang nagdudusa. So he came back to her, in a snap, like nothing happened. Of course he had to explain the cold shoulders he’s been giving her since the second term. Sinabi niya na lang na tinopak na naman ang sarili niya. Since then, he was transparent of how he feel for the girl. It was too obvious that guys at their school would stop trying their luck on pursuing Jasmine. Even Jasmine felt it at some point.

“Third year nung sinabi ko sa sarili ko na ipaparamdam ko na sa’yo.” He met her eyes, it was already feeling nostalgic. A lot of stuff from the past have been taken back to the shore.

“Binakuran na kita non. Di man nakaabot sa’yo pero halos lahat ng gustong sumubok, inunahan ko na. Hatid sundo na rin kita, pati allowance ko, sa’yo ko na ginagastos. Hindi ko alam kung ramdam mo, pero halos ligawan na lang kita noon eh...”

Sean glanced at the girl beside him. Nakayuko na ito at pinaglalaruan ang kamay. Tahimik lang pero ramdam mong maraming gustong sabihin, maraming gustong itanong. Kaya muling huminga ng malalim si Sean at nilabas ang lahat.

“Actually, ramdam mo naman noon pa, ‘di ba?”

Nilingon ni Sean ang babae. He pursed his lips and stared at her. Her eyes were already screaming of recognition, of familiarity, pain, and regrets. Jasmine was just staring at him, hinihintay siyang matapos. Unaware that his heart was pounding as much as her’s.

“Kaya nga nandito tayo ngayon. Kasi alam mo na noon pa.” Sean softly chuckled before drinking from his beer. “Pinakita ko naman sa’yo. Pinaramdam ko. Nagbigay ako ng motibo kasi papanindigan ko.”

“Jas, naramdaman ko rin naman yung sa’yo.”

Jasmine sat there frozen. She didn’t know what else to do but swallow the lump on her throat and stare at the man she once called her bestfriend. 

Malakas na buntong-hininga ang nilabas ni Sean at tumitig sa kawalan. 

“Kaya nung gabing ‘yon, nung gabing nalasing tayo, hinayaan ko na lang yung sarili ko.” Sean looked at Jasmine and smiled. “Nung hinalikan mo ako, hinayaan ko yung sarili ko. Kasi sabi ko noon, ‘Finally, may sign na. Finally, pwede na.’ finally, matatanong na kita,” he said while staring at her intently. 

“And I wouldn’t have expected more, you know. Kaso bigla mo sinabing mahal mo ako.” Jasmine was already wiping the tears that keeps on escaping her eyes. Tangang-tanga siya sa sarili niya. Sa sitwasyon nilang dalawa. 

“I said it back, you know? I thought that you were drunk but you still know what you were doing. Kasi hindi ka naman ganun kadaling malasing ng todo. Kaya akala ko, alam natin pareho yung ginagawa natin.” Nilingon ni Sean ang babae at ngumiti rito. 

“So I said it back. I said I loved you too.” 

Sean chuckled when Jasmine started sniffing, Binigay niya ang panyo na nasa bulsa niya. He came prepared, alam niya kasi kung gaano kaiyakin si Jasmine. She was his bestfriend afterall.

“So it was real? I wasn’t hallucinating? You actually said you loved me too?”

“I thought you knew.”

“I was drunk! How could I even affirm that what I remember that night was real? I mean, kissing you? I would definitely think I’m crazy.”

“You know I had feelings sa’yo. Jas, you know I don’t do the stuff I did to you sa ibang tao. Alam mong gusto kita noon.” 

Jasmine pouted before wiping her tears. “Ramdam ko pero hindi mo sinabi. Ano namang assurance ko na totoong gusto mo talaga ako based sa gut feeling lang? Kasalanan ko bang ayokong mag-assume agad lalo na kasi bestfriend kita?” 

Sean opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Tinitigan niya lang ang mata ng babae na ngayon ay kumikinang dahil sa mga luhang pumapatak galing dito. He wanted to wipe the tears off of her face already, but he doesn’t know why he’s so afraid to do so. Kaya muli na lamang siyang uminom sa bote niya at umiwas ng tingin. 

“Bakit hindi mo ako kinausap?” 

“Bakit hindi mo rin ako kinausap?” 

“I asked you first.”

Matagal na tumitig ang lalaki sakanya. Hinahanap ang tamang salita. Bakit nga ba hindi niya kinausap? Bakit hindi siya nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na magtanong? Kung bakit ganoon? Bakit nandun sila sa sitwasyon na ‘yun?

Kung bakit niya hinayaan na mawala sakanya ang taong mahal niya?

“Duwag ako eh.”

Sean weakly smiled before biting his lips. He almost choked on what he said, good thing he was able to stop himself.

“Pinairal ko yung pride ko, kasi natakot ako. Natakot akong magtanong sa’yo kinabukasan dahil sa nakita ko. Natakot akong tanungin kung bakit, kasi baka alam ko na pala yung sagot. Hindi ko lang gustong aminin sa sarili ko.”

“Ano ba sa tingin mo yung sagot?”

“Lasing ka lang,” he firmly said. He looked straight at her and stared at how her brows wretched with sadness in her eyes. He saw the disappointment in them that punched him right in his chest.

“Baka lasing ka lang nun. Nadala lang. Baka di mo naman talaga ako mahal...” he smiled apologetically to her. “Baka lasing ka lang.”

Muling suminghot si Jasmine at pinahid ang mga luha. Hindi niya alam kung paano kakalmahin ang sarili niya. The whole thing seemed too absurd for her. It doesn’t make sense. And they were such a fool to not make it make sense before.

“Aren’t you aware of the saying ‘Drunk thoughts are sober thoughts’?”

“If it was, why couldn’t you say it when you were sober?”

Natigilan si Jasmine sa narinig. “I didn’t want to risk our friendship.”

“So did I. That’s why I hesitated for many times whether I should tell you how I feel or not.”

Tumango si Jasmine, pilit na pinapaintindi sa sarili ang lahat ng nalaman niya ngayong gabi. Kung sana sinabi lang nila sa isa’t-isa noon, ano na kaya sila ngayon? Kung sana nagsabi sakanya si Sean, hindi niya siguro maiisipan na payagang manligaw si John sakanya.

“Sorry I let John court me the day after I kissed you.” She said after a long time of staying silent.

“Sorry I couldn’t take my courage with me and tell you I loved you.”

Sean met Jasmine’s eyes, and there, he found the peace he needed. For all the years he spent being angry at her, he can finally admit that he was more angry to himself.

And all the other questions might remain unanswered, but letting the truth out, and saying how he felt for her, was enough to make himself feel better.

He knows that the both of them might regret the decisions they made before, but he also knew that he wouldn’t change a thing.

Because he was aware that she was going away. And what he feels for her, masked up in rage and bitterness, might be the only thing that was keeping him from losing her completely.

-END-

[notagirl15]

Typos and grammatical errors Ahead

This is a work of fiction. Name, character's, businesses, places, event and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person's, living or dead , or actual event's is purely coincidental.

15 DAYS WITH A RANDOM GIRL 

Never forget that 15 days we shared together inside that small house of ours. For our memories are inside, the memories that will never be erased the history of how you and I become one and two after fifteen days. 

“Fifteen days inside a small house? are you insane boy?" another random girl answered me the same answer.

I'm asking a random girl for the 13th time to be with me inside the small house. This is just an experiment made by my friends. They dared me to find a random girl to live with for 15 days. Even me if some random girl ask me to be with her in 15 days is enough reason to make me go insane. 

I look at the girl who is approaching my direction  wishing she would say yes so I can now pass this freaking bet. 

“Hey do you want to live with me for fifteen days" I look at the sexy man… ok she isn't a women but a man.  Fudge 

"Tss next time don't ask a stranger to live with you immediately. "  the person said and walk away. If I can't find a girl to live with I'm going to do this challenge with a barbie doll as my girl. 

I waited for another one minute before I saw a girl who is wearing a black jacket coming my way. She is bringing a baggage with her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she ask while whipping her tears

"I'm sorry but this is just an experiment, can you live with me for 15 days?"

"Where is your house?" She said not looking at my eyes. 

"Huh?" Is that her way to say yes?

"You want me to live with you for 15 days right? What are you waiting for? Show me your freaking house" she said strictly and throw away her baggage to me. 

"What the"I said while catching her baggage.

"You bring that one I'm tired. Do you have a car?" she ask while walking 

"Yeah I have" God I didn't ask her to be with me just to make me her slave. 

"Good because my feet is aching.  Starting today I am your responsibility so you should take good care of me." 

"Oh magic sarap"I said and lead her toward my car. 

"Do you have food inside your house?" She ask in the middle of the ride. I look like her handsome driver right now. 

"Yeah I have why?"

"You look familiar"  she said while looking at my eyes. I was shock when I saw the color of her eyes. It's a blue one but it look like the color of the electricity. 

"Really?"

"Hmmmm. I knew it you are the famous artist from the IBG entertainment right?"

"Yeah I am" 

"Why are you asking someone to live with you?" 

"I'm surprised you still can know me after my transformation."  Yeah I did a makeover. I know everyone will be shock once they found out that the hottest heartthrob king is asking someone to be with him. 

Not that I am afraid but my manager won't stop pestering my life if I won't listen to her. 

"Can you drive faster? I am hungry" she said while glaring at me. What's wrong with this girl? Is she having a mood swing? 

"We are here"

"Alam ko Hindi naman ako bulag"she said and get out my car slamming it loudly. 

"Hey this car is my dad's gift"

"No one is asking" she said while walking 

"Ahmm what's your name?"

"Bakit mo tinatanong?"

"It's weird to live with someone you don't know right"

"Hindi naman nasa trip mo lang yan" I touch my forehead in despair when she kick my door after turning in the knob. Did I just ask someone who likes to destroy everything?

"I am Ian Gabriel Quintos" 

"Tss nagpa kilala pa eh palagi kong naririnig yang pangalan mo sa Balita"

"Can you just be nice to me?"

"Wala akong pangalan"

"How come you don't have a name?"

"Pwede ba wag maraming tanong. Asan ba ang kusina mo dito at nang Maka kain ako"

"Left side" I said she didn't not answer me instead she just follow the direction. 

I just put her baggage beside the stairs and texted my friend Aiden who invented this dare. 

Me: Bro I got a girl

Aiden: tish. Good luck bro remember the rule ok only fifteen days and then forget each other

Me: Why do I have this feeling that before she can stay here for five days my things here are all broken 

Aiden: Ay bro I said get a girl not a hammer. Jusqo bahala ka nga may shooting pa ako. Good luck 

Me: Don't even bother to show up to me idiot if you don't want to die. 

Aiden: ok master. 

"Huy wala ka bang sardinas dito?"

"No I don't have but there's a tuna their you can eat that"

"Tss ayaw ko bill ka dun sa tindahan yung pula ah"

"Huh?"

"Oh Sira na ba yang tenga mo? Siguro nga sa ingay ba naman ng mga tao pag may concert ka." 

"Do you want me to buy a red sardines?"

"Dinig mo naman pala eh lumabas kana at bumili Hindi naman mahal ang sardinas. Nagtitipid ka ba?"

"No I'm not on a tight budget"

"Hindi naman pala eh hala labas bili ka ng sardinas yung pula ah pag yang dinala mo green patay ka sa akin" she said while pointing me before she walks away. 

Me: Aideeennnnnnnnn

Aiden: Yes master what's the matter? 

Me: Where can I buy red sardines 

Aiden: Ay kumakain ka pala nyan master? Hahhaha nasa tindahan lang yan 20 pesos lang yan master 

Since I don't want to go out I ask the guard to buy three red sardines and waited for him inside the guard house. Luckily he just spent a second to buy a sardines. 

"Here is your order"

"Ilagay mo yan sa ref tapos na akong kumain" 

"What?? I thought you want to eat red sardines?"

"Sinabi ko bang Hindi? Ang Sabi ko Ilagay mo sa ref Dba ay wag sa ref sa cabinet" she said and then get her toothbrush inside her baggage 

"Where do you want to sleep?"

"Ikaw asan ka natotolog?"

"We are not allowed to stay in one room" I said fastly 

"Sira tinanong ko lang naman asan ka matotolog Hindi ko sinabi na tatabi ako sayo assuming ka ding ungoy ka eh" 

I can't belive that girl after she does her night routine she ask me to move my things to somewhere because she will stay inside the masters bed room. 

"This is crazy the owner being pulled out form his bed is freaking lit" 

"May sinasabi ka?" she ask me sleepily

"Yeah why do I need to leave??"

"Kasi Sabi ko. Ano matagal pa ba yan? Matutulog na ako" 

"Heyyy" I said when she lie down 

I just left my other things inside the room since she already is sleeping. 

Aiden: master Kamusta?

Me: I'm evacuating 

Aiden: Ay bakit naman?

Me: The girl ask me to get my things and sleep at the guess room

Aiden: Hala master inaway mo misis mo?

Me: Aiden stop texting me before I fly back there and cut your head. 

Aiden: Uy hahahah master chill kaibigan mo ako 

Great just great it's been three hour since I am lying down and yet I can't sleep. I already tried to read and watch but my eyes won't close. I was about to close my eyes again when I heard something collapsing on the floor. I'm about to stand up but stop remembering the girl inside my room. Maybe it's her

Aiden: Master tulog na wag mo syang masyadong iisipin ha. Nakaka Sira daw yan ng ulo eh.

Me: I'm going to kill you idiot…..

[thewritenerd]

Victor and Adam: NaNoWriMo Last Day

‘So what will it do when it’s finished?’ at first there was no response and Victor had to wonder if Adam had even heard him. Then after a while he turned to look at Victor. ‘It’s supposed to be a device for taking books of the high shelves.’ ‘Didn’t you think of that months ago?’ ‘Yeah well I’ve been busy.’ Victor nodded. ‘Well is there anything I could help you with?’ Adam shrugged. ‘Sure. I need two hands for some parts of this anyway.’ So Victor sat himself down and watched as Adam worked. Occasionally holding something, or pinching something together, or keeping something steady when he was asked. ‘This would be some much easier if I could weld this together.’ Adam grumbled. Victor nodded. ‘Maybe we could look into that.’ Adam turned to look at him. ‘You’re joking?’ ‘No. This is clearly something you’re serious about. I won’t let you do anything like that unsupervised. But we can still go about getting you the equipment you need.’ Adam’s face broke into a smile at that. The first smile in days it seemed. It made Victor want to smile back. After a little over an hour Victor decided it was time to take the next step. He took a deep breath. ‘Adam. I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself these last few days. And while you don’t have to tell me now, or ever if you don’t want to, I want you to know you can tell me what’s bothering you. Whenever you’re ready.’ Adam sighed and set down his pliers. ‘That’s the problem I don’t know what’s wrong. I mean at first it was because I felt like I let someone down.’ ‘Who?’ Victor asked. Adam shook his head. Was he unsure who or did he just not want to say it out loud? ‘It’s the same.’ Adam said quietly under his breath. 

‘What?’ ‘My broken arm. It looked just like…’ he was quiet for a moment and it took Victor a second too long before he realised he was crying. Unsure what else to do he reached out and rubbed the back of Adam’s neck. ‘Why do these things happen to me?’ Victor sighed. ‘You’ve got a lot to learn about the world, and you don’t know the limits of your own strength, and that’s my fault. I should have taught you instead of chasing you off. I should have been there for you from the start.’ He hadn’t planned on saying the last part out loud but now it was out there he decided to continue. ‘I’m sorry. You’re just a kid but I refused to see it, and you got hurt because of it. Those things you did I should have been there to prevent them. But I wasn’t. You didn’t know any better and I did.’ He sighed and reached over to pull that infuriating strand of hair out of Adam’s face. ‘You’re a good kid. I wish I could have seen that sooner.’ Adam nodded and looked at him. Though he wasn’t crying anymore his eyes were still wet with tears. Though both his eyes were brown they didn’t quite match. One was so dark it almost seemed black, while the other was a chestnut brown. For a moment those eyes stared at him searching for something, sincerity, a sign of humour. They seemed hopeful but not fully trusting. Eventually Adam sighed and lowered his head. Victor wasn’t sure what he’d seen in his face. Or if it was what he’d wanted to see. He just hoped he knew he had been genuine with all he had said. ‘Right. Well I’d better go and get cleaned up for dinner. You should start thinking about doing the same.’ ‘Okay dad.’ Adam said seeming half distracted. Victor left the room and it wasn’t until he got to the bottom of the stairs did it occur to him Adam wasn’t being sarcastic.

Adam

‘I’m not a religious man Mr Frankenstein. But the word miracle is the only one that could possibly describe this’ Victor nodded in agreement. ‘It’s certainly unusual.’ Adam frowned. ‘I’m sorry but what is going on?’ he asked wondering if the two men had somehow forgotten his presence. ‘What’s going on is your arm has completely healed in a little under two months.’ The doctor cried. ‘That’s good right?’ Adam asked still confused. ‘Good. Perhaps. But definitely inhuman.’ Adam found himself flinching away at that word. Inhuman. It sounded no better than Monster or Creature. ‘So he won’t need any more treatment?’ Victor asked. ‘Absolutely none. Though I do wonder if you’d be willing to have more tests. .See how far this healing thing goes.’ ‘And what would that entail?’ Victor snapped. ‘Well… Maybe Adam should sit outside while we discuss it.’ Adam suddenly felt even worse than he had before. Though he couldn’t be sure of it was due to what the doctor was saying or the murderous expression on Victor’s face. ‘If you can’t say what it would involve in front of Adam then maybe you shouldn’t be suggesting putting him through that. He’s not some lab rat to be poked and cut whenever someone pleases.’ The doctor looked like he wanted to argue but quickly backed down. While Victor was no where near as big as Adam he was not a small man, slim maybe but not small, especially when compared to this doctor. And while Adam had never experienced such a thing himself he knew having someone bigger than you stand over you while visibly angry was a very scary experience. ‘Well. That will be all.’ The doctor said forcing a smile. Victor shot him another scathing look before standing up. ‘Come on Adam. We don’t want to waste any more of our time here.’ Adam followed after him, shooting the doctor one last look before closing the door behind him. As they headed down the corridor Adam noticed Victor was thinking hard. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked. Victor shook his head. ‘Nothing. I’ve just been thinking. In the two years you’ve been around you’ve never gotten sick. I didn’t think anything of it. But now I have to wonder…’ Adam waited for him to say more but Victor remained silent. ‘What do you wonder?’ he asked. ‘It doesn’t matter. Come on there’s an ice cream shop just round the corner.’ The shop itself was a bit crowded with it being such a hot Saturday afternoon but Adam didn’t mind. In fact he was grateful to not have to sit inside with all those people watching him. It took him a while to choose a flavour but eventually settled on cherry with chocolate sauce, Victor just had vanilla. Once they were out of the shop they started heading back to the car. They had almost reached the car park when Victor stopped. ‘I just remembered I needed to pop into here for a second.’ He pointed to the shop they had just stopped outside. It was some stationary shop called Write Here Write Now. Adam wasn’t sure if he found the name corny or clever. ‘Here you can finish this.’ Victor handed Adam his half-eaten cone and disappeared into the shop. Adam peered through the window but found he couldn’t see much from behind the displays of typewriters and notebooks and pots of pens. He could vaguely make out Victor standing by the till with his back to the window. Adam watched as he leaned forward and seemed to write something, occasionally lifting his head to say something to the man behind the counter. Giving up Adam took a step back and took a bite out of the cone. As he waited he suddenly noticed someone familiar making their way towards him. He gave a quick wave which Maram returned. ‘Hey Adam.’ She said as she reached him. ‘Where’s your cast?’ ‘I got it off today.’ He replied. Maram blinked. ‘Really that fast?’ Adam shrugged. ‘What can I say. I’m a wonder of science and a freak of nature.’ ‘Maram. Aren’t you going to introduce your friend?’ a woman Adam guessed was Maram’s mum asked. ‘Oh right. Mama this is Adam. Adam this is my mum.’ ‘You may call me Mrs Karim.’ Mrs Karim looked pretty much how Adam imagined someone who spent most of their time fixing cars would look. She wore dungarees and a black long-sleeved shirt. Her trainers were mostly black with engine oil. ‘Nice to meet you mam.’ Adam said holding out his hand. Mrs Karim blinked at him and Adam suddenly got the feeling he’d done something wrong. Slowly he lowered his hand. ‘Sorry. I was told when you great a grownup you should offer to shake their hand.’ Mrs Karim nodded. ‘I understand. But as you’re a guy when you great a woman in a hijab you should place your hand over your heart.’ ‘Like this?’ Adam asked doing as she said. ‘That’s it.’ Mr Karim beamed at him. Adam smiled back. ‘So are you here alone?’ Maram asked. Adam shook his head. ‘No Victor’s in there. He pointed to the shop window. ‘Who’s Victor?’ Mrs Karim asked. ‘My dad. But he doesn’t like me calling him that.’

[phgq]

PRRD to Cayetano, Velasco: Resolve impasse or else

#PHnews: PRRD to Cayetano, Velasco: Resolve impasse or else

MANILA – Fed up with intramurals at the House of Representatives, President Rodrigo Duterte on Thursday night urged speakership rivals House Speaker Alan Peter Cayetano and Marinduque Rep. Lord Allan Velasco to resolve their leadership tussle or else he would fix the problem himself.

“Either you resolve the issue sa impasse ninyo diyan (on your impasse) and pass the budget legally and constitutionally. Pag hindi ninyo ginawa, ako ang gagawa para sa inyo (If you fail to do it, I’ll do it for you),” Duterte said in a taped speech.

Duterte’s threat came after senators warned that the move of Cayetano and his allies to abruptly suspend its session at the House of Representatives would guarantee a reenacted national budget for 2021, which would be a blow to the government’s financial capacity to address the coronavirus disease (Covid-19) pandemic.

Senate President Vicente Sotto III and Senator Panfilo Lacson said the sudden suspension of sessions in the House is related to the speakership row between Cayetano and Velasco as it preempts any attempt to snatch away the leadership from the former at least until sessions resume on Nov. 16.

Duterte brokered a term-sharing agreement in 2019 where Cayetano would serve as the Speaker until October 2020 while Velasco would supposedly take over and assume the position until 18th Congress ends in 2022.

However, Duterte said he no longer wanted to be in between the tug-of-war taking place between his two allies if would not mean putting the proposed 2021 budget in jeopardy.

“Huwag naman sana ninyo sobrahan ang laro sa Congress na yung budget mismo ang nalagay sa alanganin (Don’t play too much in Congress to the point that the budget is at risk),” he said.

Duterte said he would not give them a deadline, but would step in once he sees the possibility of the proposed 2021 budget being delayed.

“I am not going to give a timeline. Mga diktador lang gumagawa ng ganun. Gusto ko na ayusin ninyo (Only dictators do that. I want you to resolve the problem). If and when I see that there will be a delay and it will result in the derailment of government service I will, I said, solve the problem for you,” he said.

He said he was not scaring them, pointing out that there were more important concerns that needed to be addressed rather than the issue of who gets to be the House Speaker.

“We always forget that there is something more, higher than just the delaying or maneuvering in Congress because everybody wants to be Speaker,” he said.

Think about the sick, the dying

Duterte appealed to the speakership rivals to consider Filipinos who were suffering and dying from Covid-19.

“Ang pakiusap ko, ayusin ninyo at isipin ninyo ang Pilipino na nasa ospital ngayon na kailangan ng medisina at yung mga Pilipinong mamatay ngayon (My appeal is, resolve it and think about Filipinos in the hospital who need medicine and Filipinos who are dying),” he said.

He said the government already had enough problems dealing with the health crisis, especially since a vaccine has yet to be developed.

“Ang gobyerno natin maraming problema. ‘Yang Covid na ‘yan, hindi ‘yan umaalis ng Pilipinas matagal na (The government has a lot of problems. Covid has been here for a long time). So people are dying, people are sick, people need medicines at marami pang ibang sabihin ko sainyo, alam ninyo ‘yan. I will not enumerate kasi alam ninyo, kayo ang nag-prepare ng budget nga diyan e (and there are more problems. You know them all. I will not enumerate because you know you prepared the budget),” he said.

Duterte noted that he could not understand why he would still hear reports about patients dying because they are unable to pay for medicines despite being admitted in government hospitals.

“Hindi ko talaga maintindihan isa pa ito na may mamatay sa ospital ng gobyerno dahil walang medisina. Huwag na huwag akong makarinig ng ganun sa totoo lang. Ang Kongreso must be generous enough to give us the Bayanihan Act to Heal as One lahat ng pera nandiyan. Wala pa naman akong kalokohan akong nakita (I really don’t understand how people die in government hospitals because there’s no medicine. I really hate hearing about them to be honest. The Congress must be generous enough to give us the Bayanihan Act where all the money is),” he said.

No apologies

Duterte said people will not remember the players involved in causing a government to go “haywire” but they will always remember the President under whose term it happened.

“Dito sa ating bayan na kung magka letse letse, hindi sila magtanong kung sino ang may kagagawan o (In our country, when things go haywire, they won’t ask who did it or who is) responsible for the mess that we are in right now. Ang maalaala lang nila, ‘panahon ni Duterte napakabaho’, kita mo kung ganun. They do not mention ah yung si Alan sa Congress o si Lord sa ano, wala. Ang sabihin administrasyon ni Duterte (What they’ll remember is ‘during the time of the President was stinky.’ They do not mention oh it’s Alan in Congress or Lord. They’ll say it happened during the Duterte administration),” he said.

He said he did not want to be take part in a squabble only to have to take the blame when he is no longer in office.

“Huwag ninyo ako idamay sa away ninyo at tapos (Don’t get me involved in your fight and then) in the future people will be asking what happened to the administration of Duterte or the administration of Arroyo or of Aquino or of Ramos. Hindi man sila magtanong kung sino yung mga tao doon responsible for the haywire administration of a certain period gaya ko sa panahon ko (They won’t ask who were responsible for causing the administration to go haywire during my term),” he said.

Duterte, meanwhile, said he would not apologize for reprimanding his allies in Congress.

“I will not apologize for saying this because indeed we are all of the same dream and that is really by itself and alone it is already an honor, it is a dream fulfilled for any lawyer, for any Filipino for that matter to serve his country,” he said. (PNA)

***

References:

* Philippine News Agency. "PRRD to Cayetano, Velasco: Resolve impasse or else." Philippine News Agency. https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1117974 (accessed October 09, 2020 at 05:33AM UTC+14).

* Philippine News Agency. "PRRD to Cayetano, Velasco: Resolve impasse or else." Archive Today. https://archive.ph/?run=1&url=https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1117974 (archived).

[the-seventhmoon]

Dear Lord,

I know I don’t talk to you often but I also know that You know that You’re in my heart; You’re the driver of my life. I have lifted everything up to You. It may be late but it was all worth it. You were always there for me especially when I felt so alone in life. Back then, my prayers were “Okay lang ako, Lord. Wag mo na ako intindihin. Unahin mo na sila.” and then I realized You’re a jealous God - You want to feel needed so now, You’re everything I need Lord. Thank you for saving me. I remember back in college, the cross was here in our place and it was one of the my darkest nights. I felt so alone and completely lost with life. My relationship with You wasn’t like this pa. During that sad night when I couldn’t take it anymore I went out of my room and went to our sala where the cross was. Immediately when I saw the cross, I burst into tears. I don’t really remember what I prayed that night but I remembered crying heavily. My arms on the table and my knees on the floor. Ang bigat bigat ng pakiramdam ko noon. I could still remember the feeling even up to now and whenever that cross visits here that’s all I can think about - that one sad night. It may be bad but it was like I have no one else to turn to but You.  Gumaan pakiramdam ko noon. Ofcourse there’s still the sad feeling but I felt like something was lifted off of me that night. I’m sorry Lord kung hindi ako madalas lumapit Sayo even up to now. Alam Niyo naman po ako, pa-strong. You’re all I have Lord whenever those sad nights strike until someone came into my life. Si Mark. You lend me Mark and I was super thankful po. I had someone whom I can share all my worries, sadness and what not. I was comfy enough to be myself with him and I don’t get to do that with a lot of people. In a way, Mark was my saving grace. I could just call him and cry and everything feels better. He would just listen to me pag humahagulgol ako and to be honest, knowing the fact that he’s there calms me down. I am not alone anymore. Nandyan na si Mark. It went on for seven years. Even though he’s asleep I would bombard him with my messages filled with frustrations and sometimes I think “Hindi kaya masisira umaga nito? Ang heavy ng mga sinasabi ko.” but he did not mind it at all. He would wake up and tell me he loves me. He would pretend na walang nangyari ‘cause he knows I don’t like talking about it. He waits for me to open up and gaddam Lord he fills my heart. Ugh Lord. Sometimes I miss him. But as I’ve said, on loan lang pala siya. He was not meant for me. He was meant to stay lang all throughout my college years - nothing more, nothing less. He didn’t even get to see me wearing my toga. I know he would have been proud. Yung babaeng tinyaga niyang pakinggan ung frustrations and all finally graduate na. I somehow fulfilled our dream - to graduate in Mapua. At least I did that. I speak very fondly of Mark not because I still love him but he is one of the greatest gift and lesson and for that Lord, maraming salamat. At least I get to experience that kind of love. The time I cried heavily in front of the cross I think was after Mark and I broke up. Nawala po kasi yung anchor ko. He was my balance and nung nawala siya, nawala na ung order. I don’t know how to explain it Lord. After him, no one came close. I had relationships, yes but it was different Lord. May kulang. I tried to convince myself that this is what I want but in reality, nacocompare ko sometimes. I can’t remember if I’ve cried in front of Ten. I did but because it was emotionally draining. With Kiko, I think I forced myself to cry just to feel human. It was nice but it didn’t felt right. With Ryan, I didn’t even cry to him when my tita passed away. Supposedly, he should be the one who I wanna hug. When the incident in my room happened, I forced myself to cry but I can’t really feel a thing. I can’t cry in front of people anymore - actually I don’t really cry in front of anyone lol. I’m not comfy enough. But it made me think, si Mark lang talaga. Hay.

You may be wondering why I’m writing or talking to you like this again. Lord, I’m in pain. When I started writing this I actually don’t know what to say. “Kaya mo na ba this early mag sulat?” is what I asked myself. You know that aside from talking to You, my outlet is writing. I turn my feelings into words. And now, I’m doing it again. As I’ve said Lord, I’m in pain. I have been fooled. Ang sakit, Lord. Gusto ko ng isang mahigpit na yakap, Lord. Take it all away I don’t want it po. I never wanted this.

Hindi ko pa siya nakwekwento Sainyo, Lord. His name is Jasy. It’s actually Jussy but I liked Jasy better, feels like ako lang may ganun tawag sakanya nun even though it’s the same pronunciation. He’s amazing, Lord. He really is. I mean I wouldn’t get all emotional like this for an ‘okay’ guy, right? He’s a civil engineer and he lives in his own world where everything is perfect. He made me comfy with my body and encourages me to express myself. He listens to me although he cuts me mid-sentence cos maybe he gets excited with my stories and I love it when I cut him off too, “Ako pa diba? Di pa ko tapos.” and his face would turn into this cute little thing na parang he got scolded by his mother. He’s such a cuddly bear. He’s older than me; older than most guys I’ve dated. He acts like a child and my oh my do I love taking care of him. “You ate na? Drank water? Smoked ilan na?” Those are my 3 magical questions and he never misses to fail one of those. He forgot to eat, he drank just one glass tapos pagabi na, smoked more than usual and such. Even so, I love him. I think I will never get tired of those questions and I will never get tired of reminding him. I love him, Lord. I still do and right now my heart aches ‘cause I can never be with him. I can never really call him my own - he was never mine, Lord. You see, he has a partner po. You see Lord why we can’t be together? Yeah, I got fooled. But you know what Lord? I’m not mad. For that, thank You. You have given me a sufficient amount of understanding so I wouldn’t have any resentment in my heart, maraming salamat. But that doesn’t mean I’m not hurt. I saw something in him Lord. In my head, itong lalaking to is not your usual gwapo guy (for me he is though) but he has a lot more to offer. He’s smart, malambing, sweet, may plano sa buhay, has a good heart, good conversationalist and whenever I’m with him I feel safe. He is everything I’ve ever wanted Lord. And alam Niyo pa po? My sad nights were gone cos of him. He brought back something in me. He gave me happines, no, he was my happiness.  After Mark, the sad nights returned as predicted. You know me, I don’t normally open to anyone. But with this guy, walls down. Those simple video calls before going to sleep was the most precious thing ever Lord. Someone’s giving me their time and my heart is full. May nagbibigay sakin ng time, Lord. Biruin mo yun? Dati ako lang Lord. Dati tayong dalawa lang. Minsan nakakalimutan ko pa ngang nandyan Ikaw eh. Those sad nights were gone. Somehow, I think it was because of him. He took care of me in his own little ways and those little things had a huge impact in my heart. I fell inlove. It was a wonderful infinity. An infinity that I wouldn’t regret happening ‘cos I was happy, Lord. For the first time in a long long time, I felt like everything has aligned - everything was in favor of me. That what I have right now is perfect. I have a good job, the salary isn’t that bad, I have a nice home, I have my own space, no one in the family has been affected by the pandemic, I have trustworthy friends whom I can call whenever I’m down, and I have him. I’m sorry but tangina Lord wala na akong hihingin pa. It was like the way I look at the moon changed. Before I look at it because I’m sad but now I look at it because I’m happy. Even though he is leaving for another country, I felt like I can convince him to talk to me still. I wanted to be with him. In all of my imaginations, it’s me bumping into him after 1-2 years. I’m still single and so is he. We would then reunite and the rest is history. Kaso I don’t think that would happen. A few days ago, I found out he has a girlfriend. The guy I fell inlove with has a girl na pala. I was oblivious to everything. Ofcourse, I had a hunch but I did not really expect it to be true - I want it not to be true. Lord, You know I love being right but this is the only time na sana mali ako. Mabilis rin akong makaramdam and sana sana hindi nalang. Magaling ako sa mga bagay if I put my mind into it and sana hindi nalang ako nag pursue hanapin. I could just live in the moment. I can just act dumb. Grabe Lord ang sakit po pala. Ang sakit maging tama. Ang hirap maging tama. Ang bigat maging tama. Ayoko nalang maging tama. For the sake of being right, nasaktan ako nang sobra. I stopped immediately. I don’t want to but I have to. I miss him, I really do. I miss looking at him. I miss him sleeping on my chest. I miss his arms and legs wrapped around my body. I miss hugging him. I miss how it felt so right being with him. It was like nothing else matters. All the worries are gone, the world does not matter when I’m with him. I wanted to stop time. I want to stay in that moment forever pero may mga bagay talagang hindi para sayo kahit anong pilit mo. Kahit anong dasal mo. Kahit sobrang sakit na ng puso mo just to make it happen - kung hindi para sayo, hindi talaga para sayo. Yung pakiramdam na para kang nasa alapaap tapos biglang dumilim. Hindi ako takot sa dilim pero nung nalaman kong sa dilim na yun ay wala na pala siya - nawalan ako ng lakas. That’s when I knew he was all that matters to me. He is the sole provider of my strength. You gave him to me to support me, Lord. To lift me up and encourage me with life. Maybe You saw me crying one night and thought, “Siguro nakalimutan na niya yung pakiramdam nang may karamay. Nakalimutan na niyang may tao pa palang pwede siyang matakbuhan. Na hindi pala siya nag iisa. Siguro kailangan niya si Jasy at itong si Jasy kailangan rin siya para maramdaman naman rin niya kung paano ang pakiramdam to be taken care of. Baka kasi nakalimutan na nila ung mga ganung pakiramdam sa buhay. Natoughen up ko na sila pareho kaya siguro they deserve to smile for a little while.” You looked down on us and decided we needed each other and You were right. You’re always right, Lord. Kaso shortlived. 

Sometimes I want to ask why. Why did you let this happen? What lesson would I gain from this? Am I not strong enough for You, My Lord, that I have to undergo another hardship? Another trial? Haven’t I had enough? Don’t I deserve to be happy? And of all people, why me? Why me. I am somewhere in between losing interest with people and wanting to be loved and cared for and yet here I am questioning the purpose of all of it - mukang on the verge of not wanting to be involve with someone.

Lord, I know You have plans for me but for once why? This kind of pain isn’t the same pain I’ve experienced before. Siguro nga iba iba ang sakit na dulot ng iba’t ibang tao dahil iba iba rin ung saya at pagmamahal na nabigay ko at nila sakin. Iba iba ang impact ng tao sa atin kaya iba iba ung nararamdaman natin para sakanila. Hindi ko po masabing ito na ang pinaka masakit na nangyari sakin. This is not comparable to the pain I’ve previously felt but I must admit na it hurts like hell. Ang tagal ko nang sinusulat to when normally I finish something in one sitting. My heart just couldn’t take it. I started writing this the day after the incident and yes, it was really too soon to be writing. Nandun na lahat ng emotions and my chest was really heavy - even up to now - but after 4 straight days of crying and pretending I’m okay I’m finally can say na I’m coping. I may not be entirely okay with the situation but I’m moving forward. I choose to move forward. Gusto ko pa Lord, yes, alam ko You’re in heaven naka faceplam because of how stupid it sounds but gusto ko pa sana. Wala eh, I love him. I was talking to Lyle and I told him what I wanted - a one last hurrah. Maybe an overnight or a 3 day stay in some place and we can pretend nothing’s going on. After that, wala na. He told me that it’s up to me. He knows I hate cheating (even though I did that myself) so he said it’s only a matter of decision for me between my feelings and my morals. At this point, I think I’m choosing my morals. Ayoko magsalita ng tapos, Lord, pero sana hindi na mabago ung decision ko. Mahirap ung withdrawing sa isang bagay na kinasanayan mo na. It may be shortlived but it meant a lot to me to be with someone like that - someone who took his time just to talk to me. Someone whom I felt safe. Someone na akala ko pag bumalik dito sa Pinas ay magkakaroon ng way para magkita kami at start again where we left off. Ganun lahat ng imagination ko noon. Magkikita kami somewhere unexpectedly, nakuha ko na lahat ng gusto ko - alapit na matapos yung debts ni mama, I have my own place na, I am at a position at work na I can really be proud of and sasabihin ko sakanya yun with a proud look at my face because he is one of the reason bakit ako nagpursige. It’s because someone believed in me. Someone told me I can. Someone made me feel that I can do great things. (Fuck, di ako pwedeng umiyak may charcoal mask ako sa muka. Haha. Kaya control the emotion muna Steph. Tiis ganda muna.) So ayun, we would date again and lived happily ever after. Pero again, sinampal nanaman ako ng realidad. Okay lang, this isn’t the first time I was slapped in the face with reality. I just thought this time it would me my time. I guess it was too good to be true.

Lord, heal me. You made me into this strong woman and I am very very much grateful. Sometimes, I wonder “saan ko kinukuha tong lakas ng loob na to”. It all comes from You but You know what Lord? I feel alone with this strength. I know I have You but sometimes I feel lonely. Idk what to make out of this or why I’m saying this but I really do at times. I just stand up straight and tell myself na hindi, hindi ito yung mag papabagsak sakin. He’s just a guy. Madaming guys out there who would still treat me the way I wanted to be treated. Right now, I may only want him but I’m sure as time pass by this thoughts and feelings would be long gone. I just hope the withdrawal and healing process won’t take that long. When the time comes that I come across the guy that is really for me, I hope I’m not too blind and scarred for him. I hope my walls wouldn’t be that high. I hope I welcome him with all of me. I hope I won’t have doubts because of what happened. I hope I’m whole. And if I’m not, my Lord, I hope you gave him the patience and understanding to wait for me. I hope he doesn’t give up that easily because I know I won’t with him. I was watching “That Thing Called Tadhana” last night and there was a line there

“Makakarecover pa ba ako?”

“Makakarecover ka.”

“Sure na sure ka dyan ah.”

“Alam mo kasi... ang pagmamahal na ganyan, yung love na pinapakita mo kung gaano ka ka-overwhelming parang impossibleng walang puntahan yan. Mababalik na mababalik din yun sayo. Not necessarily sa taong pinagbibigyan mo pero sigurado ako babalik sayo yan.”

And I can’t wait, Lord. I know it will be amazing because it’s Your plan but for now I will have to endure muna. Idk exactly the purpose or the lesson yet pero I trust You. It could still be Jasy or maybe Mark or a person I haven’t met yet but I know na this person is going to be amazing.

Lord, yakapin mo ako every night. I will smile until it no longer hurts. I will smile for myself and for the person who is really for me para when the time comes na makikilala ko na siya, buo ako. I’ve endured everything and is ready for the kind of love he will be giving me.

Maraming salamat Lord for listening. Truly you’re amazing. Hanggang dito muna ako. I’m not sure if this will be the last time I will be writing to You or about this but know for You na You have all of me. I trust and believe in You.

To enduring until it no longer hurts. :)

Goodnight.