#marcille mad as hell

[blummberg]

Hand warmer laios inspired from a tt video

[simcardiac-arrested]

no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending

Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That

[icaruskeyartist]

"nothing in dm would happen without lesbians or autism" okay we're just missing the deep familial bond between the siblings the fact that it happened at all because falin was saving her brother when she got fucking eaten

argument can be made for autism re: laois and falin's dependence on each other as family because their entire family is autistic as hell and can't communicate a damn, leading to sibs basically leaving/being sent from home but at the end of the day if you're trying to say dm is the autism and yuri anime you're missing so fucking much more that's involved.

[chilschuck]

Hear me out...

Witch/mage half-foot reader x chilchuck? Iy would be cute i think?

Maybe they have that carefree, mad hatter-y vibe that makes chil grow white hairs every single moment lol

(sorry for any mistakes, english isnt my first language)

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA and i hope i did it justice!!! struggling to write for some reason lately but i got this out for you and i’m so happy that i finished it!!

— CHILCHUCK: x mage half-foot!reader.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw + gn!reader!

꒰ wc: ꒱ 570

✦ hope this turned out okay!!! i am trying to get out at least one request a day! <3 enjoy!!

✦ You made it very known you were interested in joining the party, and Laios suggested it wouldn’t be too bad to have another magic user around. Since no one had really any objections to it, you became the party’s second half-foot member.

✦ With a smaller amount of mana than other races, you used your magic in smaller bursts. Even with having to be more observant of when you used it, you were definitely more of a carefree soul than the other members.

✦ Running headfirst into whatever monster made an appearance was common for you, and Chilchuck grabbing you by the collar and pulling you to safety with him was as well. You seemed to have a knack for making Chilchuck grow more gray hairs, whether it be by scaring the hell out of him with reckless behavior or disappearing for a span of time before popping up right behind him. (He didn’t want to guess what exactly you went off to do.)

✦ Chilchuck, when given the chance, would grab you by your shoulders to get onto you about your reckless behavior. To his dismay, you usually gave him that sly, carefree grin you always did. You two were definitely polar opposites in some regards, and Chilchuck had to routinely keep his heart from stopping when you put yourself in danger.

✦ That isn’t to say you weren’t skilled at what you do: even Chilchuck knew you had talent. It was more so that you had a bit more fun than needed, which caused the already older half-foot to feel like he’s aging more.

✦ All his concerns and reprimanding aside, he really did enjoy your company. Maybe it was your whimsical sort of outlook or the way you carried yourself, but he was definitely drawn to you. The first time he realized this was when you scared him so badly that he thought he had lost you. After letting him know you were fine and that it’s nothing some healing won’t fix up, he knew you had begun to grow on him.

✦ You made sure to tease him about his concern over your wellbeing, letting him know you were more than capable of taking care of yourself. Maybe even purposefully putting him on edge with some of your shenanigans just to see him freak out a little.

✦ Secretly, Chilchuck admired how gutsy you were, even if your mad hatter-like personality gave him heart palpitations. He wondered what it must be like to not have any concerns like that, sometimes catching his attention being solely on you and your work.

✦ It didn’t help that you and your personality were pretty charming, after all. Maybe he even found it cute how engrossed in certain aspects of magic you’d get. And how excited you got when you succeeded at something. Also how you’d sometimes catch yourself daydreaming and get lost in thought. The list goes on, much to his dismay.

✦ The half-foot would always deny it, but sometimes Marcille sees the way he looks at you and absolutely teases him. Apparently, it reminds her of a romance novel she read once, about a grumpy man and this mage that taught him how to live life to the fullest. Chilchuck swatted her away, trying his best to ignore the feeling in his chest at that. He definitely has some thinking to do… (And feelings to acknowledge!!)

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

[annabelle--cane]

okay assorted dungeon meshi thoughts

marcille needs to be covered in blood more often

laios wants to be a monster so bad it makes him look stupid

no one else's overall manner seemed to change when they all got changeling'd so I think senshi just decided to act like that for a laff

they were all extremely chill with the idea of eating parts of falin's body, which is metal as hell but I think they may have been underground for too long <3

[dialing my fantasy cell phone] hey there, former party member who apparently hated me the whole time we knew each other without my knowledge, is in love with my sister, is from a high class background, and is averse to black magic, do you want to come help us eat the monster parts of my sister that we accidentally bound to her with black magic?

mr mad mage be nice to dragon falin :( regular meals are important, let her eat a walking mushroom

[dunmeshichilchuck]

For That One Guy on Tumblr part 5

Chilchuck x !fem !halffoot reader

Your first thought on waking up was to wonder what the hell you'd drunk last night to give you such a nasty hangover. 

Your second thought was "is something...breathing on me?"

You opened your eyes and stared straight into the worried gaze of an uncomfortably close and extremely blond elf.  

She sighed with apparent relief. "Oh thank goodness! You've been sleeping for hours! I thought maybe something had gone wrong with the resurrection spell and you might not wake up, it's just such an unknown area of resurrection magic as to how long someone can be dead before they're resurrected!"

You squinted, brain churning a long for a few minutes before you caught up with the fact that you had, in fact, died and been turned into a Popsicle. "Hrghhh....yeah...yeah 'm fine. Got one hell of a headache though. Why didn't you just wake me up if it's so late?"

Marcille fidgeted with her staff. "I wanted to but -" she shot a glare at the other party members. "They wouldn't let me!"

"It's not like it would make much sense to wake someone up just to make sure they still can wake up." Chilchuck grumbled. "do you want them fully recovered or not? They'll need to rest without you poking them awake every 10 minutes." 

Laois nodded. "Yeah and if something WAS going wrong you'd be able to see it right? Falin told me if resurrection magic went wrong you'd just kinda melt!" 

"You wouldn't- it's not melting! Why would you say it like that?"

You interjected before they could get going again. "Who's Falin?" 

Chilchuck glanced over at you. "Falin's his sister." He gestured at Laois. "She's the main reason we're here. We were trying to rescue and ressurect her but something...." He glanced at Marcille briefly, an odd, almost warning look on his face. "went wrong. And now the mad mage has transformed her into something else and is controlling her." He shrugged. "If we want to get Falin back we're going to need to defeat the mad mage."

Huh, that was. Interesting. 

"What...what exactly went wrong?" You asked, unsure if you actually wanted to know the answer. 

Laois opened his mouth to say something, but Chilchuck shot him a glare and jumped in. "We don't know, she'd been dead for a long time and we had to reassemble her body." He shrugged again. "Who knows with resurrection magic? Shit just goes south sometimes." 

Well that was even more interesting. With that and what you'd heard before they realized you were conscious....there was definitely some shady magical shit going down. 

You looked at Marcille dubiously. Normally you'd think some kind of black magic, but was this prim and proper cream puff of a barely adult child really capable of crimes against god? For heavens sakes she'd been so embarrassed about the bra thing even. You couldn't picture her in combat, let alone casting some kind of banned black magic. She'd probably get too anxious and not be able to go through with it, and why would she even study that? It seemed like her field was relatively narrow if she didn't know the leaving spell.

Definitely very interesting, and potentially very dangerous. If they knew what you'd heard and what you suspected this could get very dicey for you. The best course of action would be to play dumb as a rock. 

You nodded. "Oh yeah no I know, I don't know much about magic but I know ressurrection magic is one of those things that we don't know much about, right? Cause it's so new and everything. I've heard of some weeeiiiirrrddd stuff happening in other groups. People not fully resurrecting or even getting body swapped. And who knows how the mad mage is involved in that? Hell maybe he could control ANYONE resurrected in his dungeon, but he just went after your sister for some reason." 

Lies. Blatant lies too. You weren't dumb and you'd asked as many questions as you could of the mage in your old group. You could even cast some basic healing magic if it came down to it. You'd only had one mage in the party, and you were the only one not directly involved in combat every time, so it made sense for him to teach you some quick and dirty spells in case he was incapacitated. Not that you'd ever reveal that, you knew what happened to halffoots who learned magic. Resurrection magic wasn't complicated at all. No way they weren't doing shady shit. 

Laois and Marcille chimed in with agreements that sounded just a bit too relieved, but Chilchuck just shot you an indecipherable look and then turned back and said. "alright now that that's settled we need to get packed up and head out. We've wasted too much time waiting for y/n to wake up as it is." 

You clenched your jaw and firmly reminded yourself that you were already in a precarious position, and that seemed to just be the way Chilchuck talked. 

You could put up with it. You could put up with anything if it meant getting to take down the bastard that had built this dungeon. 

Tag list, ask to tag:

@night-shadowblood-writes2

@thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry

@dunmeshimeshi

@leguink 

@gh0st-spider

@reh-llik

@sy1v30n

@qardasngan

[dunmeshistash]

do you have the extra where Marcille meets Laios for the first time and she’s mad as hell at him ?

I think that's ch 57 ? Unless there's an extra too and I don't remember.

[nychthemeron-rants]

So a post made by @deszczowedni of Fem! Labru where they mention Fem! Laios being a single mom dungeoning and the canon genderbent Chilchuck from the magic mirror extra leaving the party for her family is giving me massive brain rot so have a quick summary of the resulting Single Moms AU that is rotting my brain.

Laios and Chilchuck are both dungeoning to support their families after their respective divorces.

Laios was put into an arranged marriage pretty much as soon as she was of marrying age thanks to her shitty father. While she and her husband were never in love, things were fine for a while and they were both at least mostly content… except Laios is still Laios. She still yearns for life outside the village, still nerds out over monsters, and still has the same social issues even if fem! Laios can mask just a teensy bit better. So, after several years (and the birth of their daughter) her husband’s resentment towards her comes to a head and he divorces Laios and abandons their young daughter looking for a fresh start. And despite knowing she should be more upset, Laios feels more relieved than anything. She saw this divorce as her chance to finally leave her village so despite her family’s wishes and advice she flees with her daughter. She rents a room in a town near the school she encouraged Falin to attend and tries to make things work as a single mother. However, money is tight. Very tight. And the odd jobs she picks up aren’t making ends meet anymore. So with Falin’s help she turns to dungeoning to make some more money for her and her daughter while a few helpful staff at the academy watch her daughter. Fast forward to current day and her daughter is finally old enough to actually attend the academy full time (between 8 and 10 years old since Marcille met Falin when she was 10) but that means money is even tighter as she has to scrounge up tuition but it also means she can spend more time in the dungeon at a time without worrying about her daughter’s safety.

For Chil, not that much changes. Chil is still a middle-aged, union-leading parent of 3 adult daughters. However, in this AU when Chil’s wife left, she didn’t go live with one of their daughters, she disappeared off the face of the earth. This causes their children to begin to worry like mad about her and about Chil as none of them know where the hell she went. As much as a part of Chil wants to go looking for her wife, another part of her is too emotionally constipated to face all of her feelings about her wife’s disappearance and chooses to instead focus on financially supporting her daughters who ARE busy looking for their mother. She feels a bit bad about disappearing into the dungeon when her kids are so emotionally distraught over one mother’s disappearance already so she makes a point to write all three whenever she’s on the surface with updates on where she is and where she will be. Chil still doesn’t tell her party shit except vague mentions of having to stay on top of family matters with no other context.

Laios is the only one that knows Chil has kids but assumes they are about the same age/ maturity as her daughter.

Senshi’s role doesn’t really change, she’s a kindly middle aged dwarven woman who lives in the dungeon eating monsters.

Falin and Marcille basically have the same general backstory too but are just men in this AU. Falin has been dungeoning to support his sister and niece and Marcille started tagging along for both research and Falin.

Izutsumi remains completely unchanged because I find that to be funnier. She’s not even genderbent. She’s just Izutsumi.

Pt. 2 (Name Guide)

Pt. 3 (Laios' timeline)

Pt. 4 (Chilchuck's timeline)

[prismatoxic]

there is always going to be something a little off-putting to me about claiming a definitive canon sexuality for a character that doesn't actually have one.

like, we all have our headcanons, of course. and that's fine. but there's a world of difference between "i headcanon this character as gay" and "this character is gay in canon", and so frequently the latter isn't even true. if it's not stated in the source material nor by the creator, then it isn't canon. and that's okay!!

like, okay, it doesn't affect me anyway because no listed sexuality could ever stop me from shipping what i want to, but also... this is so often just an excuse to be mad at people for shipping "the wrong thing". it also tends to dip really uncomfortably into biphobic/panphobic territory.

to use a relevant example, unless ryoko kui has officially stated marcille and/or falin are lesbians (i don't think she has?), you cannot act like they are canonically. not only do they have no in-canon definitive romance (because dunmeshi is not a romance story), but even if you interpret their bond as queer (and like, most of us do, i certainly do), that doesn't for sure mean they only like women. you can headcanon that they do, but you can't harass other fans for not treating them that way. you have to accept that they will both be shipped with men, and it's not homophobia unless the shipper in question is actually, you know, being homophobic about it.

nothing another fan does will ever change what happened in canon, nor alter your own fanwork. you can do whatever you want forever. if someone making your fave blorbo a sexuality you don't agree with pisses you off, block them. if they ship things you hate so much that it makes you mad, block them. you're allowed to. this is your space to curate as you please.

people on the other side do it, too. "ummm chilchuck has a wife" is something i've seen slung at m/m ships for him. not only does his canon wife (who, you know, left his ass, stop acting like shipping him with anyone else is unreasonable on that alone) not preclude headcanoning him as gay if you want to, but it ABSOLUTELY doesn't preclude him being bisexual. for fuck's sake. gay and straight are not the only sexualities. i'm going to drop the contents of a dirty litterbox on your head.

like... genuinely, headcanon whatever you want. you could make everyone in the cast the same exact sexuality if you wanted to. what you shouldn't be doing is acting like anyone else is beholden to your ideas. or, hell, even canon's ideas. fandom is about the freedom to do what you want with your blorbos. have fun with it and stop blaming other fans for not making the content YOU want.

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 10 Part 1

Welcome back! Today we're liveblogging volume 10!

Things are heating up in the kitchen, so lets not dilly dally!

Says the guy who's never missed a shot on-screen.

You know things have gotten serious when Laios doesn't immediately geek out.

So, what's the story with these guys? We know Thistle yoinked Yaad as punishment, but what happened to the others? How did Delgal manage to get his soul in his son's body in the first place? Did Thistle make that mannequin, or did Delgal do a swap to decieve Thistle? Who are the ladies?

Between this and the Undine, elemental creatures are really nasty in this universe. Also, imagine my disappointment that the meal below doesn't have garlic.

You'd think she would realize by now that there is a method to Laios' madness.

God, she's just like me sometimes.

For someone who has so much trouble understanding humans, he does occasionally have deep insights. The true nature of Thistle's madness is really starting to sink in for him.

How does that work when the bird is chopped up into many pieces? Can it regenerate from just one? Do phoenixes reproduce via budding?

Laios understands and will comply. But the other book is fine to do whatever to, right?

I don't remember the Cheshire cat being this evil.

So, yes. You are looking at the heart of the most forbidden magic of all time. Not ringing any alarm bells? Not even one?

Marcille would be a horrible picklock. But seriously, the lack of subtlety is definitely a character flaw.

A most majestic steed.

An important image.

Don't laugh. I think it looks great. Very "Warlock who spits in the face of god" coded. Not that I think that will be relevant.

On a more serious note, how do people know this works against rabbits, but don't know what the rabbits themselves are?

"How Hungry?"

This is supposed to be a Marcille arc. Stop having so many good faces Izutsumi.

A precious image.

So... I can't be the only one who momentarily feared she was going to use Chilchuck as raw material on their first read, right?

Fun fact, puppeting corpses like this is actually really easy magic, but it's just taboo as hell. See? I told you you'd get to the war crimes Marcille. Good for you.

Heh, they even have their matching belt pouches from that one extra.

Everyone imagines Laios as about 50% more psychopathic than he actually is.

God, this episode is gonna be NUTS. I can't wait.

Don't worry Izutsumi. Everything is safe and normal and good.

That is not a benevolent smile.

Marcille: So sad.

Laios: Deeply regretting actions.

Senshi: Unsure, but supportive.

Izutsumi: Tsundere.

Chilchuck: Not getting paid enough for this shit.

On to part two! See you there!

[mentalmeles]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog 21

Starting out with Kabru's party, I see. What shenanigans will these guys into this time, I wonder. Besides dying again, that is.

NAMARI!!! Falin may be my number 1, but Namari is still hot af, okay??

FALIN SIGHTING!!! HALDKFJFLKDJFLFK

Oh, so Kabru tried time and again to talk to Laios, but the timing was always off. I wonder how different things would've been if he had managed to catch him at a good time. Would Laios have added Kabru into his party?

The one with the short, silver hair.. I recognize him from the first opening. The wind revealed that his ears were short, but I can't remember if they looked cut or not. I'll need to go check at the end of the episode. *

Ayy, Laios' party!

Izutsumi looking around at stuff that isn't really there? K...Kitty......

Oh my gosh he's FINALLY telling the party about the spirits he's been seeing!! I was wondering when he'd do that ldkjfkl

EMPEROR BELOS???? /j

NOT SENSHI THROWING UP IN THE BACKGROUND--

Okay, but Laios petting the Minotaur's snout is really cute......

Izutsumi is acting way more like a cat than usual... Hope that's not a bad sign.

Aww!! Marcille and Izutsumi look so beautiful!!

Laios standing all alone, brooding in a corner after getting smacked away by Izutsumi is a whole ass mood ldfkjfkl

God... The curse of the Mad Mage sounds like hell, ngl

Oh, Laios... Prophesied to defeat the Mad Mage, save the people of the Golden Castle, and then become king? That is such a heavy weight to place on his shoulders. And I think that, even though the rest of the party is telling him to refuse, he's going to accept this quest. Not only to save the people under the Mad Mage's curse, but to save Falin as well. We all know that, in the end, he'll do whatever it takes to save his sister and I believe that defeating the Mad Mage is the way to do it.

*Okay, so after checking the first opening again, it looks like his ears were cut Emperor Belos Style(tm). I wonder if he's a human passing as an elf or an elf that had his ears cut off for some reason. Maybe he got wounded in battle or it was a punishment of some kind. Regardless, I am definitely intrigued.

[n3ptoonz]

'Hot Springs'

wlw fic on the first day of pride month?! hold your applause 😎😎

Pairing: Falin Touden/Marcille Donato

Fandom: Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon

Warnings/tags: Smut; Explicit, PWP, underwater activities, cunnilingus, Falin can hold her breath for a long time, Falin isn't a monster yet but she got that DOG in her, finger riding, confessions, multiple orgasms, finger sucking- DAMN you get the idea. might be typos

Word count: 1.2k

"I'm so glad you're back with us! I was afraid we would never see you again." Marcille said, nearly clung to Falin's side. The water was nice and warm, and they both knew they could use a relaxing evening away from the chaos in the dungeon. Falin smiled and put her hand over Marcille's when she noticed she was more pale than usual.

"Marcille? You're paler than I am..." she said.

Marcille sat up straight and scratched the back of her head, chuckling sheepishly, "Yeah...I used up a lot of my mana in the last hour alone..."

Falin just blinked and leaned closer to inspect her face. She noticed how a faint tint of red painted her cheeks after being startled. Before Marcille could finish her sentence, Falin grabbed her hand gently to give her some of her mana.

"Relax." she whispered. "You are probably drained from saving me, let me help you." Her voice was still so soft and welcoming as it always was, but her tone was slightly more demanding than usual, and Marcille was starting to like it.

"What do you me- Falin!" Marcille exclaimed, watching Falin submerge herself under the warm water. After letting go of her hand, Marcille then gasped at the feeling of Falin's soft hands grabbing her thighs. On one hand she was worried about Falin not being able to breathe...but as soon as her lips and the pad of her tongue met her folds, her mind surely went blank.

Marcille's legs instinctively started to close when Falin spread her legs further and delved into her like she hadn't eaten in weeks (I mean technically-). Marcille had to cover her own mouth so she wouldn't be heard on the other side of the wall where the guys were bathing.

Who knew Falin had this in her? The strangely skilled woman seemed to have been on a mission the way she swirled her tongue and let her nose brush against the sensitive nub that drove Marcille mad.

Not having much sexual experience, she naturally would start to reach her climax fast. The way Falin lapped at her was too much to bear, but she also still didn't want Falin to be underwater for much longer. Her eyes shut tightly as the pit of her stomach tightened and that unraveling coil had finally snapped. While she came, Falin tried her best to take it all in so it didn't spread far out into the bath water...although it may be a little late for that!

Above the surface all that could be heard was the faint echoes of Marcille's muffled whines and huffs as she trembled in her post-orgasm glow. As she attempted to calm herself Falin came back up with the same small smile on her face. She leaned closer to Marcille again as she saw some of her mana return around her.

"That should replenish some of your strength." she said so casually like she couldn't feel Marcille's legs shaking under her palms. Marcille managed to catch her breath and let her eyes slowly open to the sight of Falin up close and personal, yet still not invading her space.

"I...When the hell did you learn to do that?!" she asked, seemingly back to normal.

Falin tapped her chin in genuine thought, "Err...I was always able to hold my breath for a long time-"

"That's not what I meant- Hey!" she said as she felt Falin's hands pull her into her lap. "...You have got to stop surprising me like that..." she added, but soon quieted as Falin entered one finger inside her. She used her other hand to caress her cheek and brush her hair behind her ear.

"You still seem stressed, Marcille. I wanna help," she said softly this time. "Yes...you are clenching onto my finger-"

"Maybe because it's inside of me!" Marcille blurted out, but her feigned irritation faltered as soon as she realized she was subconsciously riding Falin's fingers. Marcille buried her blushing face into the crook of the other's neck, wrapping her arms around her as her goosebumps became more apparent. She slowly lifted herself again and shyly whispered, "...Could you add another one...?" in reference to another finger. Falin's hands were always so soft and delicate, and Marcille could never forget about that fact.

"Of course," Falin whispered. She was now two fingers deep inside of the shy elf clinging onto her shoulders and trying her best to keep her composure while she rode her fingers. Strangely enough, Marcille's mana was rejuvenating quickly this way. She might have to start purposely using up her energy more often if this is how she can get it back in due time. She became less and less worried about Falin using hers up by this point, she was feeling way too good.

"Mm...please-" she softly moaned desperately. Falin put her free hand on Marcille's hip for more balance since it was clear she was getting lost in the moment.

"Would you like a third finger?" she asked, caressing her cold yet warm wet skin. She watched as Marcille shyly nodded as she kept going; her eyes shut tight and her whines getting louder.

The sound of the water splashing against their skin was beginning to drown out from the pants, hums, and moans filling the room. The steam was no longer there. Only the heat emitting from their skin. The tips of Marcille's ears began turning bright red as Falin added one more finger. She lifted the hand placed on her hip to her freshly washed hair, stroking it to soothe Marcille as she shamelessly regenerated her energy back.

As her soft cries crescendoed, she had no other choice but to muffle herself by biting down onto Falin's shoulder. It wasn't too hard, but it wasn't too soft either.

It was perfect.

Falin let out a soft hiss at this sensation and decided to lift her thumb to rub slow circles around the small nub that was sure to send Marcille off the edge. She let tears flow from her eyes as she reached climax, and Falin didn't intend on stopping her movements.

"Let it out, pretty girl~" Falin mumbled into her ear, and as Marcille rode out her high, she quickly unlatched her teeth from Falin's shoulder and kissed her. She held her face like she could disappear again right here right now. Every groan and cry that escaped her lips was taken in by Falin's, and she didn't mind one bit.

She then backed away and slowly brought her movements to a halt, resting her forehead on the other's. Falin gently removed her fingers and looked at the slick left behind in awe, which prompted Marcille to take the three fingers into her mouth and suck off the extra with a tired, yet cheeky smile.

She finally collapsed into Falin's arms. She just laid her face on top of hers with a soft chuckle and a sigh of content, taking a mini note of how her breasts comfortably rested atop hers.

"I really like you, Falin." she confessed rather quietly. Loud enough for her to hear. Falin glided her hands down her back before pulling her closer, letting the slightly cold water still its movements following hers. She smiled as she nuzzled against the elf's spent form--luckily she would be able to bounce back quickly with her new mana wink wink.

"I really like you too, Marcille."

[bumblingblog-1]

I don’t get why some people are mad and/or defensive that others headcanon Marcille and Falin as lesbians?

Sure, headcanon them as bi all you want. But if that’s your circle jerk response to a LESBIAN headcanon, it’s weird as hell…

God forbid someone shitpostong about how Marcille is not attracted to men…

[oblivionbladetd]

You know Lily’s review of DunMesh is bs, because she literally only talked about three characters and ignored literally everyone else. There’s a whole plot happening, but she only focused on the character she hated and the lesbians. Which goes to show, she only watched the show for one thing and then got pissed when the actually story had more than that going on. If DunMesh is as bad as she says, surely she would’ve pointed out literally anything else besides the one guy she didn’t like.

I mean, she starts the video with a multi minute tirade about how much she hates anime and people recommending her things.

She never intended to give it a fair shake, and it's apparent the very second she starts speaking. It undercuts everything else she had to say because it's contextualized by her flat-out saying that she didn't want to watch it and didn't like it on principle, making it incredibly easy to just write off what she said. She hates Laios because she was explicitly finding reasons. She ignored the plot because she already didn't care. Hell, she even only likes Marcille and Falin because it's just about the only thing that even comes to something she'd write.

Even ignoring that she often ignores context, example being that Laios called chimera Falin cool is a bit callous if you use your knowledge as the audience and project that Laios said this knowing that it was against her will and she struggles for control, it's just not a review for anybody. She's less missing the forest for the trees as she's missing the tree for the bark she's angrily rubbing her face in as she complains how much she dislikes the texture when she rubs her face on it. It's a review for people who just really wanted to hate Dungeon meshi, and the consensus is that if you do, it won't change your mind. Thanks for that stunning discovery, Mrs. Orchard, I'd give you a reward, but I got really mad at the little details and threw it out.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Because this Got Too Long for an Ask

Dungeon Meshi x Bendy and the Ink Machine:

They sadly can’t eat most of the monsters here. Aside from most of the monsters TECHNICALLY being transformed humans, the few who aren’t are made out of ink. Finding an actually edible monster in the Loop would be very exhausting, with many cases of indigestion.

Dungeon Meshi x Kingdom Hearts:

Laios and Senshi are mad you can’t eat Heartless. Marcille points out that the Nobodies are TECHNICALLY made of human flesh. The Unversed burn away on death. They have to settle for eating Nightmares (which sometimes turn into candy when killed), because what are the odds THOSE will turn out to be transformed humans?

Dungeon Meshi x Pokémon Mystery Dungeon:

They eat the Bittercold and Dark Matter (plus the weird shadow monsters it spawns for a single boss fight). The rest of their enemies are too sapient to eat.

Dungeon Meshi x Avatar:

The weirdest thing they eat is Vatuu.

Dungeon Meshi x Pikmin:

Louie either hits it off with them or tries to steal their food. Possibly both.

Dungeon Meshi x Bugsnax:

… Play Bugsnax.

Dungeon Meshi x Slay the Princess:

*narrator voice* NO NO NO! You are not going to EAT the Princess. You are going to SLAY her to SAVE THE WORLD. How did you lot even get in here? GET OUT!

Dungeon Meshi x RWBY:

As the Grimm fade away upon death, they have to be eaten alive. The meal is neither delicious nor nutritious. It looks like eating monsters can’t solve everything after all.

Dungeon Meshi x The Divine Comedy:

So what does eating Satan do to Hell’s hierarchy?

-

Ahahahahahaha

I fuckin LOST IT at them eating Vatuu but tbh they’d have a great time in the atla universe so many new creatures to eat.

[jillyfoo]

Changeling Encore, Dungeon Meshi Fanfiction [first chapter complete]

Changeling Encore, Dungeon Meshi Fanfiction 

(An excuse to write about Tallchuck so I can finally stop obsessing over him.)

 [What if Laios’ party did not return to normal from the changelings the second night? What if they couldn’t wash off the changeling spores right away? We will also say the 2nd fight with the gargoyles ended without them figuring out how the changeling mushrooms worked. The Mad Mage and Falin’s encounter with the Canaries had left him badly injured. 

Recommend watching all 24 episodes of Dungeon Meshi anime or manga up to 51 beforehand. Alternative story and events to Manga chapters 53-56 and 62.

POV: Tallchuck ]

Izutsumi as a kobold dives into her dumplings and makes them disappear. She is becoming less picky now that she’s part dog. The now tallest member of the party couldn’t taste each individual flavor of the meat as distinctly as when he was a halfling but the savory taste is great regardless. To think the strange mushrooms can change creatures down to the muscles and cells. Chilchuck finishes his meal and feels unsatisfied. Makes sense because a tallman would need to eat a lot more calories than a halfling. At six and a half feet tall he guessed he’s probably three times the weight he was as a halfling. There’s no point worrying about gaining weight and springing traps cause he’s obviously way too heavy already as a tallman. He asks for seconds. The party stops briefly noticing his act making him feel self conscious. Senshi as an elf looks overjoyed and fills his plate with more dumplings. 

“You have grown so much. Please make sure to eat your fill.” He said in a sweet feminine, yet to Chilchuck, also unnerving voice.

“Hey. I want some too.” Laios protests. Laios as a plump dwarf would probably eat the same amount as his normal tallman form, Chilchuck figured.

“You can have mine. I’m already full.” Marcille, now a tiny halfling, gives her leftovers to Laios. Chilchuck continues to eat, agitated that he is being stared at by everyone in the party. He’s not used to standing out. He sighs. “So as I am now it looks like I can’t do my job properly anymore. Marcille, I am going to have to guide you though disabling step traps as we encounter them.”

Laios buds in. “You’re right Chilchuck. I was thinking that we will have to reassign our roles in the party until we get our normal bodies back. I’m going to teach you some close combat.”

“I can also teach you magic!” Marcille piped in. Damn it, Chilchuck thought. He had hoped they would forget about their last battle debacle.

“Hey, that’s too much at once!” He pointed at Senshi. “You should teach the elf magic!” Senshi drops the pot he was cleaning. The elf’s arms curled into his delicate chest. He stammers.

“You know how I feel about magic. I.. I don’t feel comfortable with it at all. I’m not… you all may have changed, but I’m still the same on the inside.” He pleads to them with tearful, innocent doe eyes. Everyone could not help but leer at him in disbelief. Laios the ever present optimist breaks the silence.

“We are going to have to adapt as best as we can. Let’s for now clean up the dishware and then look over our inventory to see what weapons will work best in our new bodies.”

Not too long after cleaning up, Chilchuck looked over all the weapons in his possession. Throwing knives. That could work, but will run out if they can’t be recovered. Blade knife and bowie knife. He knew Laios would say that because of the aggro his large form will receive in combat, longer blades such as swords would work better. Knives are meant for surprise stabs like Kabru’s attack on Falin as a chimera. Lastly, the bow. He won’t be able to use it. His hand practically enveloped it. It looks like a child’s- Oh hell no! All his adult life he’s been working to not be seen as a kid from the other races! How dare that creep into his head now that he’s been tallman for just a few hours!

“Lights out.” Senshi calls to him from behind. The beastly dwarf turned into a paper thin shadow of himself struggles to drag his ax to him. “Borrow this and protect us.” Senshi gazes up at him like a princess at her champion. A breeze seemed to be coming from somewhere blowing his long black curly locks. Willing to do anything to get out of this awkward moment Chilchuck reluctantly accepts the gift. There’s no way I can fight with this shoddy thing.

Seeing that there was little else to do, Chilchuck undoned Laios’ borrowed armor and settled into his blankets to sleep. Thankfully Izutsumi seems to be bothering someone else tonight. Everything sounds so calm and quiet as he drifts off.

“Chilchuck!”

“Wha!” The tallman startles awake. “Laios… lights out.” Chilchuck growls.

“Oh that’s no problem for me. I can see in the dark now that I’m a dwarf.” Laios laughs obnoxiously.

“Go to bed, Laios!” Marcille calls out from the darkness, obviously annoyed. Laios tones down into a whisper. 

“So I was thinking about what can be used to aid you fight and I remembered that when I started out fighting monsters I used a shield. That should distract the monsters while the rest of us take it down. I recovered my old shield from the floor we first fought the dragon in and I’ll let you have it. I don’t know if we will have much time to practice-”

“I can still hear you, Laios! Shut up and go to sleep already!”

“I’m sorry! Marcille!” Laios sets down his shield next to him. “I will leave this here for you. Everything is going to be fine. We will make it work.”, he reassures Chilchuck in a cheery tone.

A worry seed plants firmly in Chilchuck’s mind. He had very little direct combat experience. Heck Kabru and his party had way more experience than him and how many times did his party find them dead these past few days? It’s gonna be the mimics all over again except Marcille can’t revive anymore cause she’s a halfling. Nothing good will come of this.

The next morning fully geared up Chilchuck holds the ax and the shield up for Laios.

“This ax is meant for two hands.” Chilchuck tries to use any excuse not to take up a new responsibility. Laios comes up to him, handing him his sword.

“Then let’s switch. I’ll take the ax.” Chilchuck hesitates knowing that there is a monster inside the handle to that sword. It had transformed from the changelings too, becoming a kitsch looking skull and bat wings sword. A light emits from the edge of the blade. 

A question emerged in his thoughts, Don’t you want to fight monsters head on too? 

No. I don’t.

On the other side of the camp, Marcille draws a heat spell inscription on the stone floor while Izutsumi and Senshi watch. Izutsumi pokes her head into the spell inscription, sniffing the charcoal lines with her big dog nose.

“Izutsumi move. This is going to get hot.” Little halfling Marcille pushes the giant dog girl away as best she can. She looks up to Senshi. “See I already drew the spell. Elves naturally have a lot of mana. All I need for you to do is tap it here with my staff and channel the energy of fire.”

Senshi glumly takes the staff. 

“Well if it’s to make tea…” He taps it. The lines turn red and fire erupts from it sending sparks everywhere. The three scream out and bolt away.

“What do you think you’re doing!? That was too strong!” Izutsumi yells. Laios attention turns over to them and heads over. While he’s distracted this is a good opportunity to inspect the sword. Chilchuck searched through the gaps in the hilt to find tiny changeling mushrooms growing inside. Disgusting. He will probably need to check his clothing and person to make sure there aren't more of them. For only a moment a gooey creature with snail eyes peeks out at him and sinks back into the sword.

“There you are, you little bastard.” It’s time to get rid of this nonsense before someone gets hurt.  Chilchuck takes out a matchstick and lights under the area where the monster was hidden. The spores burn easily causing the living armor monster to push out in an attempt to escape. The flame causes the slimy surface of the creature to boil. Its eyes dissolve into its body as it cooks. He knew it was just an unintelligent monster, but it seems to curse him as it shrivels up. You’re not immune. Suddenly Chilchuck falls over from being tackled from behind.

“Stop! What are you doing to Kensuke?!” Laios yells. The dwarf seizes back his sword and holds it like a baby. “Kensuke, are you still there? Kensuke!” he cries.

“I’m killing it for your own good! You should have done that ages ago!”

“But he helped us get through the door…” Laios sniffs. Marcille steps in.

“Laios, having that monster around was nagging at me too. You can’t keep it forever.” 

“Listen to your elders, Laios.” Senshi said in support. Thank god the rest of the party understands reason. Laios pauses and lifts the sword up in a moment of introspection. Chilchuck could not confirm if he had fully killed the monster. Laios gets up and addresses him solemnly.

“Understood Mr. Chilchuck, sir. It won’t happen again.”

That’s new. He had never had Laios behave that formally to him. Laios did not give the sword back to him, meaning the bug was probably still alive, but whatever. It’s damaged enough that it won’t be moving or peeking out for the rest of the time they are here.

They continue on to an enclosed castle wall level with multiple passage ways. There’s no monster encounters for several hours. Chilchuck anticipates his lack of senses getting in the way of moving past this level. Everyone feels tired and hungry. Laios suggests everyone to take a break to discuss what to do next.

“Something’s different. We have made no progress since going through the door. What has changed? ” Laios asks.

“I have read about dungeons that are an endless, empty maze instead of environments full of monsters. Maybe the Mad Mage changed his strategy? We got so far down here by eating monsters to sustain us. Something must have happened to scare him enough to change from offense to defense. ” suggests Marcille.

“What a cheap trick. He intends to starve us.” Izutsumi adds.

“That is a shame. I was hoping to see what monsters would be at the lowest level… What are we going to eat-!” Laios eyes widen and he points to Senshi’s head. It had changeling mushrooms growing out of it. The group scrambles away from him. Senshi picks one from the top of his head.

“Check yourselves and put every mushroom you find in the pot. I suppose we will have to make due with this.” he says.

Turned out there were mushrooms growing all over. Inside their bags. Behind their ears. The less than savvy areas the mushrooms were found were burned in the fireplace. Izutsumi rolls on her side inspecting herself in bent poses only a cat-dog beastling can do.

“Gross! Gross! Gross!”, she growls.

Senshi wet down the mushrooms and cut them. He boils the water in a pot, adds dry merman seaweed, salt and the mushrooms. The changeling mushroom miso soup went down good enough, but it was eaten more out of desperation than anything. Laios smiles cheerfully to lighten the situation.

“I should have saved Kensuke for this soup. He could have tasted pretty good with it. I apologize for not stating my intentions sooner.” 

Wanting to clear the air, Chilchuck admits to Laios, “I overstepped my boundaries. I am hired to disable traps and find the quickest, safest passage. Not destroy whatever treasures you find, living or nonliving.” It’s not in my contract to do close combat too unless it's absolutely necessary, but this dungeon dive has had many deviations from the norm. 

“If you did bring that living armor monster back to the surface, what would you have done with it? Have it as a pet?” Marcille smirks.

“Well since everyone thinks living armor is a spell, it would be a huge discovery. I could have put it in a monster scholar laboratory to see how it works and published a paper about it. I’m not good at writing so either you or Farlin would have to proofread and edit.” Laios explains to her. Marcille laughs. 

“The elvin libraries are so huge, I am very confident that living armor monsters are already well documented in their beastaries.”

“I wonder if a dwarf like me can visit this library to see if that’s true?”

You are already addressing yourself as a dwarf… The rest of them thought. 

Laios reads their discomfort and says, “It’s just as well I don’t visit. I like more hands-on work fighting dungeon monsters anyway.” Izutsumi looks down at her bowl full of disapproval. 

“I’m going to find my own food!”, she exclaims as she darts out.

“Izuuuutsuuuumi!” Senshi calls out to her dramatically then sighs. 

“She’ll be back. There’s nothing here.” Chilchuck reassures him. Senshi clears his throat. 

“I have been contemplating our recent stroke of bad luck. I think the dungeon itself has lost interest in us. Dungeons are made to lure people in with whatever wish each individual desires. Did any of you have any desires before becoming a changeling? Has becoming a changeling affected your desire?” Marcille, Laios, and Chilchuck stay silent. “Come now… there must be more to this than merely recovering Falin. Confess!” The beautiful elf Senshi says all this as if he were a terrible actor on a stage. Senshi’s eccentric gestures and tone of voice had been really getting on Chilchuck's nerves. After another moment of uncomfortable silence, Chilchuck speaks up.

“Are you kidding me?! I had no interest in being any taller than I was! I was already paid in advance. All I want is to do my freakin job and go back home to my daughters before they leave me too.” Marcille gasps at the info drop. “Becoming a changeling I don’t even think I can do that. This is all a big inconvenience.” Marcille grabs his shoulder with tears in her eyes. 

“Oh. How can I forget you have a family to go back to!” She sniffs. “Um well I think I do feel different now that I have become a halfling. I can’t do magic anymore or at least anything close to dark magic. Anyway, I was always afraid of my friends and family dying off while I had to live on as a long lived elf, but since halflings have the shortest lifespan I was thinking that maybe I don’t have to worry about it anymore since I would die first.” Laios and Senshi were moved by her words. Chilchuck cringes. He hated it when other races refer to halflings as short lived as if it was some kind of tragedy. 

“I had a desire too.” Laios said confidently. “Being a tallman is boring. I had always wanted to experience being another race or a werewolf or a troll or giant flying beast and have multiple heads…” Everyone’s jaw drops at his confession of wanting to become a monster. Laios blushes and laughs it off. “Since I’m a dwarf I got what I wanted. Now I just need to stop the Mad Mage from controlling my sister. Also… while we are being completely honest… I think Falin looks cool as a chimera. If she wants to stay as she is I wouldn’t mind.”

“Have you lost your mind, Laios?!” Marcille and Chilchuck yell.

“Let him give an explanation.” orders Senshi.

“Once Falin’s mind is back to herself maybe we can use the changeling mushrooms to turn her dragon half into a creature that can live on the surface. Marcille can’t use revive or high level magic as a halfling so if Falin wants to return back to her old body, we will have to find other mages or healers on the surface.”

“Someone you can trust too that won’t turn you into the authorities. Remember Marcille is wanted now for tampering with dark magic. I wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of us will be taken in as accomplices.” Chilchuck notes. Everyone’s mood sours at that prospect. Damn. He’s the worst person in the party for raising morale. “At- at least we know what we’re working with so we can think of a better plan later.” He feels bad he even brought it up.

Settling in for the night, Izutsumi crawls back into their quarters, slurps up the bowl of soup left out for her and rests at the foot of Chilchuck’s rolled out blanket.

“There are black horses out there, but I could not catch them. I hate to admit I need help, but I want you guys to hunt them for me.”

“Horses? That’s… maybe good to hear. Tomorrow Izutsumi. Tomorrow.

The next day. Is it even daytime? The ceilings of the endless stone walls and towers are sealed over. There’s no beginning or end to the labyrinth. The walls morph as soon as it’s out of sight. It was best that everyone stayed together. This was a situation where Chilchuck’s expertise was vital, yet he couldn’t perform to the best of his abilities. His dulled senses couldn’t quite feel the subtle draft indicating a hidden passage nor spot the one brick out of place from a wall indicating a trigger to open a hidden door like he should. 

The mysterious horses were brought up right away. Nobody had seen them. Even with Laios’ ability to see in the dark, he had found no monsters lying in wait in the shadows. He wasn’t even seeing ghosts anymore.

“I didn’t see them. I smelled them. I heard them.” Izutsumi corrects.

“I thought I could hear hooves clattering too,” says Marcille.

“If they are walking that means they are not hippogriffs. But what would these horses graze on here?” wonders Senshi. It seemed like these beasts were incredibly shy if they wouldn’t let themselves be seen. So not very dangerous. The only thing that mattered to the party was how great it would be to eat something that’s not changeling mushrooms. Who knows if eating those things would affect their transformation. It would be quite awful if it was making it last longer or worse permanent.

“Senshi, Izutsumi, and I will keep a lookout for that monster while Chilchuck and Marcille work together to move past this dungeon level.” Laios orders.

“But I wanted to help find that monster too.” Marcille pouts. 

“We can do both.” Chilchuck made an effort to give a more encouraging tone.

Chilchuck felt disappointment in himself that he had to employ Marcille to use her newly heightened senses to try to find a way out of here. He lifts her up and presses her side to the wall so she can listen through. A small orb of light floats over their heads. Marcille can pull off some simple light spells in her halfling form. She wanted to do more such as make another familiar to scout, but everyone had been encouraging her to save her mana. The rest of the party stands by a short distance away to keep lookout for the horse monster.

“What do you hear, Marcille?” Chilchuck asks her.

“Steps here and there. I don’t know… everything sounds like it could be a monster. I hate it…” She shivers and grabs onto his head tightly. He blushes trying not to imagine her like one of his kids.

“Try to guess where it’s coming from.”

He dreads proceeding further into the dungeon. Of the party Marcille and Laios were the power houses. Laios, despite being a weirdo, knew how to deal with almost every creature they encountered. He had training as a prior army grunt. Since entering the dungeon, embracing monster cuisine, and becoming a dwarf he’s losing focus. He doesn’t have the stamina he used to have. Marcille casted all kinds of magic to counter the Mad Mage the dungeon master during their last encounter. They need Marcille as an elf with lots of mana to stand a chance against him. Falin as a chimera dragon would be nearly impossible to defeat too. How long were they down here? He had always told his daughters to have everything cleaned up after three weeks. He would be back any day past three weeks. They must remove any evidence of partying or boys over. They wouldn’t have boys over cause his nosey neighbors would have told him all about it. The three of them were all working adults so it’s unlikely they would have any time to cause too much trouble. It would be so great to be back. He wouldn't care if it was a little messy or if they broke into the liquor cabinet. No. He would care about that. It would also be bad if they decided to take things into their own hands to look for him. The thought of his naive girls leaving the safety of their village to look for him in the shady bars and outposts near the entrance to the dungeon taps away his drive to complete the mission. 

“I hear some voices.” Marcille whispers.

Chilchuck hopes it’s other adventurers. Not likely because no one else seemed to have moved past the large door they had gone through a few days ago. Yet…

“Give me a direction and distance where you heard it from.” Chichuck instructs her. She stands on his shoulders, puts her hands behind her big ears and listens carefully. “I think that way.” She points forward towards a pillar in the distance. Chichuck turns to tell the party to follow them, but they are interrupted by Izutsumi’s excited barking.

“Look there it is! There it is! See it?! See it?!”

A black horse with two large horns between its eyes stare down at them from a flat stone rooftop a hundred feet away. Laios identifies it right away.

“It’s a bicorn!”

Marcille leaps from Chichuck’s shoulders and heads over to them.

“We’re saved! We might not have to eat mushrooms again if we can catch it!”

Those idiots!, Chilchuck thought. He watches as the four of them run to the bicorn weapons raised and the bicorn darts off into the darkness. Undeterred by this setback, they form a huddle while Chilchuck tiredly looks on. Marcille draws something on the ground and whispers to Senshi. Senshi nods. Laios talks on and on about something. The cat-dog girl wags her tail. Hovering over the huddle, Chilchuck couldn’t make out what they were planning.

“Ok it’s settled!” Laios exclaims. Senshi goes into his bags, gets out a rope and hands it to him. Laios gives him the ax.

“Hey where’s your shield?” Laios asks.

“I’ll just give him this for now.” Senshi gives him his mythril pot.

“What? What’s all this?”

“You didn’t hear?” asks Marcille.

Senshi and Laios murmur to each other. 

“Well he is looking kinda aged…”

“I’ll tell you!” Marcille said excitedly. “We are going to use the scorched earth method.” She taps her staff near a heat spell inscription on the ground. “We are going to make a whole lot of these on that side of our prison maze. Senshi is going to activate them. This will smoke the beast out of hiding. Izutsumi will herd it over there.” She gestures her staff to a bottle neck of walls on the other side. Senshi chimes in. 

“Hate to see this happen to such a fine horse, but we are going to have you rope the beast and cut off its head when it comes to you.”

“Once you have it roped. I’ll help you slay it.” said Laios.

“But Senshi I thought you hated unnecessary damage to the dungeon environment.” Chilchuck protests.

“Sometimes we need to blow up a few walls to make an exit.”, Senshi admits. Marcille smiles and giggles manically. 

“Yes. Finally. Senshi, come with me.”

Small strings of smoke emit from Marcille and Senshi’s side of the labyrinth. Smoking the monster out of hiding will take some time. Laios and Chilchuck wait by the bottleneck going out of the stone courtyard with Izutsumi between the two groups. The theory was as long as there are eyes watching, the walls won’t change. A crash came from where Marcille and Senshi were lighting fires.

“Anytime now.” Laios runs away from Chilchuck towards the entrance.

“Hey! Where you going, Laios?” 

“Oh um… it has to do with the nature of bicorns. Bicorns are the opposite of unicorns. Unicorns are pure and can only be approached by virtuous people. Bicorns on the other hand only dishonorable people can-”

“I don’t need your monster encyclopedia answer. Give me the short answer. Why do you want me to do this alone?” Chichuck braces himself for Laios to give a blunt explanation.

“Ever since you became a tallman… you look suspicious.”

“What do you mean?”

Laios dug around in his pockets. “Let me get out my shaving kit. I’ve been having to use it more often since I became a dwarf so I carry it with me. The beard just keeps growing..oh here it is.” Laiosd shows him his mirror. “Look.”

Chilchuck thought he had just become taller and bigger in some places. He didn’t recognise the stubbled middle aged tallman’s face before him. The man looked like one of those loser goons the ores killed at the crooked pub on level three. One word came to mind: troll. He had turned into a troll. The kind he used to tell his girls about to scare them into doing their chores. If he turned up at their front door like this there was no way they would recognize him. Thus the tragedy of becoming a changeling. Chilchuck turns away listless.

“Oh. I see exactly what you mean. I do look like the criminal sort. I’ll be perfect for this role.” He sluggishly moves back into position.

 Laios recognizes that he laid it on him too strong. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Mr. Chilchuck! Tallmen just look more aged than halflings. You don’t look bad..you just look more like a father type than you did..I had some issues with um nevermind. Anyway you said some things and I’m not judging-Oh shit!” The bicorn leaps past him. The dark horse slows into a walk approaching Chilchuck. All of his body’s dulled senses bolt awake. His weariness fades away immediately. He stares down the beast, slowly walking towards it. He holds up the rope that was tied into a slipknot and drops it over the monster’s head. The tallman holds it steady while the beast tries to jerk away.

“You got it!” Laios exclaims. Chilchuck stares blankly at the line and the monster in disbelief.

“Oh damn. I did get it.” The monster bites down on Chilchuck’s arm that was not holding the pot shield. Lucky for him, he was wearing Laios’ arm bracers. Chilchuck didn’t have a weapon ready indicating his inexperience with jobs like this. He struggles and backs off just enough for the rope to slip out of his hands. The lassoed bicorn runs back to the courtyard with Chilchuck chasing after it. Laios follows behind them. From their left off in the distance buildings were collapsing. Pillars of fire burst out from the rubble. Senshi, Marcille, Izutsumi and more bicorns were fleeing the scene with a big cloud of dust coming behind them. 

“I’m never doing magic again!” elf Senshi screams.

Concentrating on his quarry, Chilchuck tries to grab the dragging rope. He almost grabs it until the bicorn leaps up a ten foot wall onto a roof.

“You’re not getting away!” He jumps up, steps on to the protruding rocks, and climbs the wall in a flash. Laios runs up to it, breathing heavily.

“Damn… Mr. Chilchuck.” He looks around for stairs.

At last Chilchuck had the monster cornered. Behind and to the right of the creature was a much higher wall that was several stories. Below was the rest of the party. He takes the ax and throws it. The ax brushes off to the side of the bicorn. He missed. The bicorn lowers its head and paws the dirt with its front hoof. I messed up. The beast springs into a charge at him. He loosens his largest knife out of his side pocket. Holding the knife he attempts to dodge to the side. The horn of the beast punctures his right shoulder. At the same time Chilchuck stabs as hard as he can into the side of the horse’s head. Brains and blood spill out. At the same time, Izutsumi pounces on to its back and bites into the monster’s neck. The monster collapses to its side, letting Chilchuck’s shoulder go. From the ground it kicks wildly until a moment later Laios steps in and finishes it by piercing its heart with his sword. The kobold beastling howls. Marcille and Senshi cheer. Laios wipes the blood off his blade and sheaths it. He goes right up to Chilchuck and embraces him. Being a lot shorter, Laios stood on the dead bicorn. Chilchuck his heart still racing, cheerfully raises his fists in the air, jumps and laughs with him.

“You were absolutely crazy! I knew you could fight monsters if you wanted to!” Laios yells.

“Of course I can! It was a piece of cake!”

It didn’t feel like him at all to be this hyped up. As a halfling his senses were at peak all the time except when he was drunk or asleep. It's probably why I’m so stressed out all the time. These lows and highs as a tallman… it actually feels really good. Maybe that’s part of why Laios acts like such a happy buffoon.

“Laios! Izutsumi! You got to get Chilchuck down here at once!” Marcille yells.

Chilchuck sees blood rushing down his arm. He reaches to his neck. The horn must have severed a few important arteries. That’s strange. I didn’t even feel any pain. He falls over dead.

Chilchuck gasps and sits up. Laios holds up tiny Marcille as her head sinks. They are inside an enclosure. Senshi already had meat cooking over the fire.

“She insisted she revive you. You died.” Laios recounts.

“Marcille..”

“The colors duke… the colors…” she murmurs to herself.

“Senshi made sure she ate before she used that spell, but it still took a lot out of her. It looks like she has a bad case of mana sickness. She’s most likely completely tapped out of mana too.” Laios explains. Chilchuck holds his head and groans. He watches Laios lay her over blankets. I shouldn’t have brought that on you, Marcille, he thought

“So I have as much luck dealing with other monsters as mimics.” Mimics which hide in treasure chests are the only monsters he as a locksmith is required to engage with as per contract. They have killed him many times. Now all monsters are like mimics… He imagined many different creatures before him turning into crabs. Senshi puts down a strange plate of stringy meat before Isumi, Laios and Chilchuck.

“I made sfilacci and I am going to try to make as much of the leftovers into bresaola.”

They all look at the hair like meat. What’s with the fanciness? Why can’t we just have BBQ?

Izutsumi asks, “What are these words? Oh well it smells good and meaty.” She gobbles it up. Chilchuck nibbles away at it, hiding the fact that he’s very hungry. Laios eats the hair meatball in one bite. The blonde dwarf looks like he wants to complain, but doesn’t. Senshi whittles away cutting up tiny pieces of the bicorn’s leg, making meticulous micro cuts. We are in a dungeon. Not a five star restaurant.

“Senshi, your food prep doesn’t need to..” Chilchuck tried to say. Senshi turns around in slow motion, his long black curls flowing, roses bloom in the air all around him, his eyelashes fluttering.

“You have a critique of my cooking?”

Chilchuck and Laios are stunned. Izutsumi bluntly interrupts, “Had becoming an elf made you lose common sense? I want steak!”

“I didn’t lose anything. I am just the same as I was.”

Izutsumi narrows her eyes at him. “Pretty Senshi, you just do your thing. Manly Chilchuck and you too Fat Laios, let’s make something ourselves too. I know you want the good parts.” Senshi frowns and keeps working.

The three of them move out of the enclosure to build a bigger campfire. It turned out that there wasn’t only one bicorn killed, but five more from the fire explosive magic. All that running around, fighting, and dying proved to be useless, Chilchuck concluded. Chilchuck helps Laios and Izutsumi carry one of the burnt up dead bodies to the campfire. As Chilchuck got the fire going the two butchered the carcass they brought over. 

“Magic is so overpowered. There was no point in having me involved.”

Laios gave him an encouraging smile. “We didn’t know Senshi was going to be that effective with magic. If anything we were using them to scare the bicorns your way. We did find out one thing.”

“And that was?”

“You don’t have loose morals. The bicorn still attacked you.” Chichuck sighs and rolls his eyes. “I know Marcille would want to pry into that more, but I will leave it there.”

Thank god. Perhaps Laios is maturing a bit. They set up the grill and put as many steaks on there as they could. As it cooks, Chilchuck’s mind wanders back into his bad habit of rumination. Senshi must be very upset that 1: he was coaxed into using magic, 2: we killed way more monsters than we had to and 3: more than half of us are making our own meal. Marcille too is in rough shape. 

The first round of steaks are done and Laios passes a big one to everyone’s plates. Izutsumi brows on it to cool it down before taking a bite. Chilchuck tries his and it tastes amazing probably because he was starved. Being revived takes a lot of vigor out of you. How could he convince Laios to have everyone return to the surface? He remembered the orc girl Leed’s advice to just be honest, yet he also didn’t want to plead with Laios overly emotional like that last time. Finally he said, “I feel bad for Marcille.”

“I know. I know.” Laios admits. “We are not going to be able to proceed without a confident magic user. Marcille is the best we have.”

“Admit it, we all aren’t at our best in these forms.”

“Not entirely. I did chop down on that horse real good.” Izutsumi smiles and ravishes into another steak.

“Yeah! You did do good! Who’s a good girl!?” Laios reaches to pat her head. She draws back.

“Noooo. No!” she barks back at him. Marcille weakly wanders out of the enclosure to them followed by Senshi.

“Come on! Join us!” Laios calls out to them. They gather around and Laios gives them a steak. Marcille quietly eats with tired eyes. Senshi refused their offering and just wanted to help.

And my conversation is derailed again. Chichuck takes another steak. He eats a few more while Senshi talks about the best ways to cook meat.

“You know I don’t understand why I didn’t think to just make jerky out of all this. Why did that fail to come to my mind? I don’t know. Perhaps because of the lack of salt?” As he ate and time went on Chichuck’s mood improved and he forgot about what he was so worried about. The effect of the food maybe? He probably ate the most in this one sitting than he had ever had for a meal in his entire life.

“Soooo I didn’t think you did too bad out there. You liked fighting monsters didn’t you?” Laios poked Chilchuck’s shoulder with a fork. Laios face gets covered by Chilchuck’s hand pushing him away. Chilchuck turns his head away from the group, hiding his grin.

“Maybe I did feel a bit of a thrill in it… I blame becoming a tallman or your insanity rubbing off on me. I think my luck with fighting general monsters will be as good as fighting mimics. I will probably die everytime.” They both laugh together as if they’re drunk. Marcille gives a concerned look and she speaks up to Senshi. 

“I might have been too pushy making you use magic… we were too reckless.”

Senshi gazes down at her and nods. In a moment Marcille’s ears perk up and she sees a small familiar fly through the air over them.

“Hey everybody watch out above you!” They all see it. The familiar looked like a glowing bird. “It’s the Canaries. They’re here!” Marcille puts out the fire. She opens her book and flashes through the pages. “Everyone stay together. I’m going to put a camouflage barrier over us so they won’t see us.” 

“Wait! Don’t-” Chilchuck cries out. Marcille holds her staff and casts the incantation from the book, stops in mid sentence and falls. Chilchuck catches her. The spell failed. Her body’s not tuned enough in magic to cast high level spells. Especially in the state she was already in. The walls change and a stairwell appears beside their encampment. A party of seven descend the staircase to them. Everyone stands up ready to defend themselves. The only weapons Senshi and Izutsumi had were knives and forks. Laios, the only one with his sword on hand, gets between the two parties. Chichuck holding Marcille in his arms sizes up the arrivals. The new group of seven only consisted of elves in advanced looking gear and armor. The elves walk up to them. Actually on closer inspection one of the men is a tallman.

“Well well. Hello dungeon adventurers. Please put your sword down, dwarf.  The rest of you put your… utensils down. We are merely a dungeon investigation unit.”, an elf with long blonde hair similar in appearance to Marcille orders. They do just that. Another elf with tattoos all over his body circles them.

“I don’t see the blonde elf mage. This party is completely different than the one described.”

Chilchuck came to the realization that with their bodies transformed by the changelings, they are perfectly disguised from their wanted physical profiles Kabru’s or Shiro’s party gave them.

“Are you the only party that made it this far? Have you seen any others?”, the tan elf woman asks them. Laios and Senshi shake their heads. “I mean have you encountered a party of five that has an elf female with blonde hair?”

An awkward silence. Chilchuck watches them with increased anxiety. 

Come on you two, say something. Senshi adverts their gaze and taps at Marcille’s staff with his foot. Senshi was supposed to deal with elves now that he is one. Laios is supposed to be the leader. In this moment of need they are both dead silent. From experience working with Laios, he often hesitates when speaking with people he doesn’t know. He will probably blow their cover. Chilchuck couldn’t allow that to happen.

“We’ve been trapped here by ourselves for months.” Chilchuck speaks out. Everyone in the other party turned their attention to him. Pressure’s on. “I’m Corkus and this is my daughter Neese.” The elves seemed satisfied with that response.

“That explains everything. We are also here to evacuate all adventurers from the dungeon and neutralize the dungeon lord. Would you like assistance getting to the surface?”, the blonde elf girl offers. The elves stare at the tallman waiting for an answer believing him to be the leader.

Chilchuck wanted to scream yes, but- He turns around to his party.

“What do you think? This could be our only way out of here.” Please everyone…

“Oh my head..” Marcille groans and sits up in his arms. He puts her tiny hand on his cheek. “I’m tired papa. Let’s go home.” She plays the part really well. Everyone followed suit.

“Yeah I think we went as far as we could.” It seems Laios would go with whatever Marcille wants.

“It would be nice to restock on spices.” Senshi says. Izutsumi nods with them.

“Thank you. We would like your help.” Chilchuck answers them pretending to be the party leader.

“I like it when they can be reasoned with. I’ll prepare a spell to get you all to the surface.” A dark skinned young elf in steel armor steps forward.

“Hold it. Before you let them go, I want to ask these adventurers a few questions.” The young man glares up at Chilchuck. The blue eyes look really familiar. “You know, Corkus, your gear and clothing of your party appear to be just like Laios’ party’s clothing and gear. For instance, that green circle scarf looks exactly like it belongs to a halfling in Laios’ party. ” Chilchuck suddenly recognized him. It’s Kabru. It’s fucking Kabru and he knows I’m lying through my teeth. How he disguised himself as an elf and got into the Canaries’ party is anyone’s guess.

“Um..we all shop at the same stores on the first floor?”

“Allow me to go through your gear and make sure it wasn’t stolen.” 

The gig is up. We have our initials on everything. Marcille has her full name on all her gear. A messy haired elf girl interrupts them. 

“Oh my gosh! Doesn’t this guy…” 

The other elves drop listening to Kabru’s conversation and show interest in Senshi. Senshi pulls back his hair and lets it flow in the breeze that’s coming from nowhere.

“Yes! The resemblance is uncanny!” A female elf with short hair yells.

“Whatever do you mean?” Senshi asks shyly.

“I mean you’re that guy from the The Daltian Clan novels. What’s his name…? the one with the eyepatch on a horse..”

“The character’s name is Forva and he’s the one with black hair. The one with the eyepatch is actually General Hareus.” Marcille corrects them in a dreamy whisper. 

“Oooooh!” Everyone of the elven’s party except for the tallman and Kabru exclaim with delight.

“Yeah! That!” nods the elf with the messy hair.

“Aww it’s so cute that the little ones are getting into our popular literature.” The blonde elf sighs. She completes her spell and reveals a large door portal to the Chilchuck and his companions. “All done here. Just step on through.” 

“But-” Kabru protests. The tan female elf addresses the only tallman in their party.

“Captain, do we need to waste our time questioning these guys anymore?”

He responds with a firm “No.” Chilchuck thought it very strange that a tallman would be a party leader to elves from the North Central Continent. I know it’s a stereotype for tallman males to be party leaders, but this is ridiculous.

Laios’ party gather by the portal. It all unravels when Marcille fully wakes up.

“Where are we going?”

Chilchuck whispers “Out of the dungeon.”

She gasps and squirms out of his arms.

“No, we can’t go. What about Falin?” she says to her party with tears in her eyes.

“Everyone should go, including you. I’ll stay and find her myself.” Laios assures her. Frustrated that all his efforts were about to go nowhere, Chilchuck grabs both of them by their shirtsleeves.

“Absolutely not! You are both going back with us right now!”

“Hey, I still need to find that Dungeon Master to undo my curse!” yells Izutsumi.

“You think it would hurt if I go through that portal?” Senshi whimpers. Chilchuck loses his temper. 

“What the hell is wrong with you all?!” They proceed to argue. Kabru puts his palm to his face.

“People. We got company.” The messy haired elf uses her familiars to widely illuminate the area. The dead bicorns that they didn’t eat, rose up. Headless men in black armor emerge and mount the beasts. One of them rides closer holding a giant sword, the tip of it scraping across the dungeon floor. The Captain uses a spell that makes two of them split in half from the waist. The headless men turn into black smoke and reappear fully intact.

“Phantoms.” The tallman grits his teeth, heavy sweat appearing on his brow.

“What are you waiting for?” The messy haired elf pushes Senshi into the portal. The cat-kobold follows him. More mounted headless black knights come out of the shadows surrounding them. Chilchuck kneels down and meets Laios and Marcille’s eyes.

“Pleeease go.” he pleads, feeling exhausted.

“Yes. We are going. Come on.” Laios puts his arm around Marcille and directs her toward the door. “I’m sorry, but Dunahan are really bad to go up against.” He shouts out to the Canary party. “The rest of you should return too!” Laios and Marcille disappear into the portal. Chilchuck leaves the elves behind, but just before he entered the portal he heard one of them say. 

“We should retreat too. Captain stepped through a changeling ring and it's negatively affecting his mana use.”

They return to the inside of the governor’s residence. The room was within the town hall section. Laios held his mouth and immediately ran for the exit to throw up. Transportation sickness is the worst for dwarfs. Curious what the elves said about the Captain, Chilchuck waits for the other party to make it through the portal. He notices that Laios and Marcille have already left the building.

“Oh you’re still here.” said the blonde magic-using elf. “You can go now.”

“You said something about the Captain experiencing going through a changeling ring?”

“Yes, a couple members of our party had undergone an inconvenient transformation.” Senshi and Izutsumi grab Chilchuck’s arms and start moving him to the exit. He had to get more information. Anything better than going with the knowledge of changelings from his homeland.

“Is there a cure?”

“Yeah. It’s easy. Just practice good hygiene. Once Captain and our tallman guide have washed off the spores, they should be back in shape in less than twelve hours. It’s really stubborn the longer it isn’t treated. Once the fungus settles into your nails, you're screwed.”

Chilchuck’s color drains out of his face as he hears her warning. Senshi and Izutsumi lead him to the door out of there. Kabru happily waves to them.

“Goodbye. Maybe I’ll meet you at the bathhouse later.”

To everyone’s surprise it was a sunny early afternoon at the surface. The dungeon was in the process of being evacuated and it showed. There were people of all races everywhere. Many figured the days of looting the dungeon were over and were in the process of packing up. Temporary shops were set up with signs saying “One day only sale!”, “Last Chance before we relocate.” and “Everything must go.” If this were different circumstances some shopping would have been in order, but removing the fungal spores is a priority. They head for Laios’ apartment, the only place they have to go to in town since Senshi lives in the dungeon, Izutsumi came from overseas, and Chilchuck’s home is several miles away. Laios’ apartment key was lost with his gear in the dungeon so Chilchuck had to lockpick his way in while the rest stood around him looking very suspicious. Once inside he reminded everyone that they all must wash off those spores. Once inside Laios gathered whatever soaps he could find and a washtub. He had to use a broomstick to get a box of shampoos from Falin’s closet for Marcille. Chilchuck pushed for them to wash out back instead of the bathhouse, because it would be crowded due to the dungeon evacuation. He also didn’t want to run into Kabru, the captain, or Shiro’s group if they are still on the island. He dreaded the scenario in which Laios tells Shiro that they failed and the samurai decides to cut off Laios head or hunt down Falin to put her out of her misery.

He could not help, but feel astounded that the interior of the apartment was just like the insides of the buildings in his hometown. Everything is normal sized. Actually he now had to watch his head going through doors. It will be a relief to be short again. Chilchuck walks into Falin’s side of the apartment to find Marcille on Falin’s bed crying. Izutsumi was sitting beside her providing comfort. He turns around and heads back before they notice his presence. Laios and Senshi had everything ready. 

“We will wash first outside and bring fresh water to the girls so they can bathe privately.” Senshi suggests. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Chilchuck responds.

Monsters sometimes do appear outside of the dungeon. Changelings were one of them. It was thought that the fairies would replace human children with one of their own to play a cruel joke. It was said that changelings were a problem in his hometown many years ago. The way the halfling community dealt with changelings was throwing them in a burn pit. Any mushroom fairy circles found were burned. Yep fire was the solution. Good thing the real way to turn back to himself was simply washing off the mushroom spores. They went up a nearby stream and got water. Chilchuck anticipated that Senshi and Laios wouldn’t want to bathe. Senshi because he rarely bathed as a dwarf and Laios because he wants to remain a changeling dwarf. To his surprise, they both comply without any hesitation. They wash their gear and clothes too. That included Laios’ transformed sword. Chilchuck walks into a pond the creek was feeding. Wouldn’t you want to remain changed? Tiny black specks swim up to his legs making him step back out. They’re just tadpoles. Normal animals. The dangers of the dungeon have made him skittish. He jumps in, plunges himself in the water and scrubs hard. Laios once again lends him some of his fresh clothes that would fit a tallman. Laios squeezes into one of his own shirts the best he could and rolls up his sleeves. Finally Senshi boils the water and fills it for the girls. Chilchuck wanted to wash up so bad that he didn’t care about water temperature. The girls on the other hand… Well they wanted it to be nice for them. The process takes time so Chilchuck asks Laios to borrow his shaving kit. Laios and Senshi both tease him offering to tell him how to use it. Away from them with a bit of a learning curve, Chilchuck shaves his beard off revealing a warped troll version of his old face. He could already feel that the hair would grow back in hours. How could Laios do this everyday? He returned to Senshi and Laios to see them in deep conversation. They stop as soon as they see him. What were they talking about?, he wondered. 

“The water is ready for them. We’ll just take it up to the apartment.”, Senshi says.

“You mean Laios and I.” Chilchuck responds knowing well that elf Senshi can’t lift. Carrying the washtub up with Laios, Chilchuck smells a flowery perfume from the water. “What is this?”

“You know… Marcille likes it fancy.” Chilchuck’s instincts sense a scheme, but decides not to push it. They bring the water over to Falin’s room. Only Marcille remained on the bed.

“Where’s Izutsumi?” Laios asks.

“Oh she got tired of waiting and took off. She told me she would clean off the spores on her own.” Marcille answers.

“It can’t be helped.” Senshi admits.

The three of them wait seated in Laios’ side of the apartment while Marcille washes herself in Falin’s room. Marcille calls over to them.

“So once we are back in our normal bodies, we will go down again?” The three grimace at the prospect of telling her bad news. Chilchuck was about to say something then Laios spoke up.

“The dungeon is being sealed away. The Canaries will enter in a couple days and defeat the Mad Mage.” He pauses. “I don’t know what will become of Falin.”

“What will we do? What can we do?” A long silence fell upon them.

“We should go to the pub tonight.” Chilchuck finally suggests. Everyone else was taken aback.

“Chilchuck really? Really!?” Marcille screams over to them.

He defends his proposal. “That’s what we always do after we return to the surface. It’s tradition.”

“We can’t go out and party at a time like this?! What if you turn back into a halfling in Laios’ clothing over there?”

“I’ll be so happy I’ll dance on the table naked. I’ll be so drunk, I won’t care.”

“Chilchuck, you’re an idiot!”

“Going to the pub doesn’t sound too bad to me.” Laios admits. Senshi agrees.

“You guys are so insensitive!”

“I thought you loved the food there.” Laios said. Chilchuck could hear splashing and grumbling from her side.

“Hurry and finish up, Marcille. There’s gonna be a big crowd tonight. We need to get there early to get good seats.”

“Come over here. I need help with something.” Chilchuck glances over to Laios and Senshi sitting in the corner looking a bit scared. He sighs, stands up and walks over to the entrance. A fully clothed Marcille drops a bucket of water on his head from above. She laughs and surries away.

“You little gremlin!” He yells as he chases after her.

To be continued... (1 of 3)