With the various rumors and releases of Tumblr possibly changing how they do things... (gestures to the vague rumor mill)...
Zines.
I really think we as Folks Who Make Things and Folks Who Like Art Writing Poetry Music Comics Other Things need to explore zines. And I mean ZINES. Nothing glossy. Nothing fancy.
Very.
Cheap.
Zines.
I've been threatening mentioning I was going to create a guide on how I'm going to approach this -- and I'm going to -- but I am also realizing in the writing I Do Things Highfalutin because I am who I am + had a career in graphic design.
Let's talk about how you can make a zine very cheaply and very pretty.
STEP ONE: SUPPLIES
Very bright paper. I like "Astrobrights" because they are absurdly bright. Here is a link in a store I like. I buy a lot of paper and envelopes from them. You can generally find Astrobrights in big box office stores. It prints on laser printers and ink jet and photocopiers.
Very bright envelopes. What's that? Astrobrights has envelopes?! AM I SOLVING PROBLEMS let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Letter paper is 8.5" x 11" and is the most common size in the united states (overseas folk will have to use this advice with a grain o'sea salt and search yer own waters).
A9 envelopes are a letter sheet folded in half.
A2 envelopes are a letter sheet folded in half, then folded in half.
#10 envelopes are your common long envelopes, letter paper folded in thirds.
Pick the size you like.
If you want to get big and fancy, Tabloid is 17" x 11" -- so double a letter sheet. This gets tricky to work with but is neat in sizing.
STEP TWO: ZINE CONTENT
Do you know how to use InDesign or similar program? Use that.
No? Use Google Docs or Word or whatever other program and ramble.
Want something special? Write out some or part with a sharpee or pen.
Mix and match both.
If you are feeling fancy, design it like a booklet -- mock up a sheet of blank paper as if it were a brochure. If not, just design it straight up and down like a letter. There are no zine laws.
STEP THREE: ZINE PRINTING
Print at home on your home printer.
Don't have a printer at home? Print it at work (don't get fired)
Can't? Your local library may be able to help.
You need 1 copy on white paper.
FedEx Office has photocopiers. Your local library may too. Or your job.
Print 1 copy of your zine on white paper and then photocopy the rest onto colorful paper (or white paper, it be yer zine seadog).
Or print everything on the color paper if you have access to free printing, that's fine too.
The photocopy setup is purely "printing tends to cost more than photocopying."
If you want to slash prices, print 2 per sheet and have FedEx office cut them for you, this will cost $1 - $5 depending on how many sheets you are dealing with. This is for when you're doing a LOT of zines at once.
Or use their manual paper cutter yourself for free.
STEP FOUR: ZINE STAPLING
"Long reach stapler" is what I recommend. There are a few varieties. They tend to be $20 - $30.
Or just use 1 sheet!
STEP FOUR: ZINE POSTAGE
A single first class stamp for 1-2 pages. If you get up to 3+, go to the post office and ask them to weigh a comp you have assembled.
This is a guideline.
It's a really good idea to check at least once how much your zine weighs just in general. Post offices have scales. And are pretty. And have stamps.
OKAY ENOUGH LUSTING FOR THE POST OFFICE FROM THE GHOTS POST OFFICE BLOG BACK TO WORK
STEP FIVE: ZINE MAILING
This is actually the most difficult part. Label printers exist with various costs -- if you're starting out? Go with printable labels.
Your office supply shop will have them and they'll have templates you can drop in the customer addresses.
Save yourself time by using this label as the thing that seals the envelope -- don't lick envelopes.
A key tenet to staying in business is constantly reviewing physical (and mental) labor and stressors and reducing them as much as possible.
Return address labels are intensely cheap in literally every online printer, google "return address labels." Make sure you have this because at least a few of your shipments will come back to you.
STEP SIX: ZINE PRICING
Okay here is where we get uncomfortable because we're talkin' coins.
Prices are based on above links. You can get whatever paper you want, so this is guidelines. All numbers rounded up.
Payment processing ($0.30) + $0.05 sheet + $0.15 envelope + $0.66 first class postage = $1.16 base cost
$1.16 + 2.9% of $1.16 payment processing = $1.20
Plus taxes. I'm not getting into tax figures YOU DO THAT (just say 30% for easy math, this is not saying "your taxes are 30% or that mine are" I am saying "I am going to factor 30% for this equation to complete this guide".)
I did not include the mailing label (it will be $0.01 - $0.05 depending on how fancy and how many you buy) because you have the option to just write things and also it fits into the rounding of the above.
If you use Patreon, include your fees. Probably replace the above processing fees with your patreon processing... fees? I don't use patreon I don't know how it works.
Retail option 01:
$1.50 - 1.20 = $0.80 gross - 30% = $0.09 / net / zine.
Retail option 02:
$2 - 1.20 = $0.80 gross - 30% = $0.56 / net / zine.
Retail option 03:
$3 - 1.20 = $1.80 gross - 30% = $1.26 / net / zine.
Should it be $1.50?
Should it be $3.00? MORE? LESS?!
That is for you to decide. Base it on what your zine contains, how long it takes you to write/draw/etc. it and how you want your flow to be.
STEP SEVEN: ZINE FREQUENCY
When my shop launches, it'll have a zine once a month. We are going to offer a subscription option + a "I just want 1" option.
You can do a zine monthly, or every few months, or whatever.
Keep in mind that the purpose of doing this is to break the dependency on social media marketing.
KEEP IN MIND AS AN AUDIENCE MEMBER TO A CREATOR YOU LIKE THAT THEY ARE DOING THIS TO BREAK THEIR DEPENDENCY ON SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING.
If you have a lot of energy and an audience that comes to your shop a lot? Consider doing a zine monthly.
If you do not have a lot of energy and/or your audience is tapped for cash frequently? Considering doing 1 zine per season.
Consider 2 zines a year if that works better for you!
NO RULES ONLY JOY
Not sure? Experiment! Be upfront! "This is new. I'm figuring this out. Billionaires are tinkering with these things and we gotta figure something else out."
BONUS STEP: NETHERWORLDPOST.COM
so hi I'm atty and I'm your loud long rambler today
Netherworld Post Office used to be @evilsupplyco and now we are rebranding in prep of relaunching. Same person behind the rambles and comics, new name with a more focus (mail instead of mail + seemingly everything else in experiment)
if you enjoyed this ramble and/or like ghosts, monsters, witches, mermaids, and fun stories and projects focused on cozy Halloween, you may like us when we finish the rebranding and relaunching in autumn 2023.
email sign up (the zine will come when we are open)
WHETHER YOU JOIN MY LIST OR NOT
I really, really, really hope you consider doing a regular, or irregular, zine. Something outside of email, something outside of social media, something that connects I MADE A WEIRD THING and the people who say I LOVE THIS WEIRD THING YOU MADE.
The walls are closing in on free social media as a platform for people who make weird things to build audiences for free or very cheap.
And with that...
netherworldpost.com as one final hat pass
good luck folks
thanks for listenin' to the ol' ghost
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What do you think of the theme “we’re all adults here” starz is using
Dear Theme Anon,
That is a beautiful question and I think this is your lucky day: with a tropical night ahead (35C/ 95F - nope, that is not a bra size 😱🤣), we simply live at night, like Superman. So, while I am slowly cooking my famed (but tedious) Circassian chicken recipe for tomorrow night's semiformal dinner, it is with great pleasure that I am answering it.
Please excuse the length. I know what I am able to do when I really like a question and yours got me immediately interested. Thank you for that.
Funnily enough, I was just having a very enriching conversation this afternoon, with a very, very good friend, who is way more intelligent than I, so she has no desire to write any blogs on Tumblr. On the very same topic you raised, Anon. With her permission, I am going to sum up the gist of it (et merci encore à toi 😘😘).
Let's look at that pic again:
The Craigh Na Dun Fateful Dance of Love and Death is one of the most moving pivotal moments of the entire series. Tens of thousands of women have shamelessly cried all around the world, while watching this (haven't you? I know I have and did it with no grace whatsoever, but pinky promise: don't tell anyone else, please). And then watched and rewatched and rewatched to oblivion, with or without that Kleenex box and that Ben and Jerry icecream at the ready.
You know, it's exactly like Shakespeare writes in Romeo and Juliet's Prologue ( I hope I still remember it...): ' A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life'. Love and Death blended together is one of the most powerful narrative tropes that ever existed. So much so, that a guy named Denis de Rougemont even famously noticed that in French, a single letter separates l'Amour (Love) and la Mort (Death), with seminal implications for our Western World mentality, ever since the Middle Ages. For some mysterious reason, we seem to always be caught completely unguarded when exposed to such ultimate injustice.
Tragic magic. This is exactly what also made OL a cult series, irrespective of its (many) unjustified lengths, its (many) moments of uneven acting and its (many, way too many) bullshit pills thrown at an increasingly jaded and bitterly divided fandom. Life imitating Art was just an unexpected blessing and a curse, that much we shippers know, and I am not planning to dwell on it.
But how long can you continue to sell this product almost exclusively to women, all around the world, especially when you are faced with the prospect of a dragging/delayed merger & acquisition (never a good sign) and an increasingly dwindling number of subscribers (never a good sign, either)? I'd think not for too long, really, even if OL still is one of ***'s biggest success stories ever. How long can you pretend to sell a high-end content to 'premium women viewers', when you know very well that you chose to discard that famed 'female gaze', which turned the series' first season into an instant media phenomenon?
Riddle me that: how to sell this product for a profit and expand that fan base while, at the same time, trying not to lose your loyal hardcore viewership?
This is ***'s first answer - I bet this will be followed by some more things, but let's see what it might mean.
On that poster, the focus is still on The Mythical Couple. Selling that good old famed, surreal chemistry - remind those old fans of that moment they felt all those feels (awww....). At the same time, try and create a need out of thin air - 'you need more'. More of what? Sex? Violence? Sexual Violence? Intrigue? Politics? Political intrigue? Ethics? Dilemmas? Ethical dilemmas? All of the above? None of the above? Stupid poster won't tell, but hey: buy me and I'll speak. Buy. Subscribe. We'll think of a way to keep you hooked - at least for the next season and a half. After all, Season Eight is a study in freestyle. After all, we conveniently leaked the info that 'Erself wrote the finale's script (why risk GoT's epic #shitshow?), so all is fine and dandy.
On par with our Mythical Couple, we have that sword. Oversized. Symmetrically featured. Action, with an intelligent twist - that is a finely wrought blade, after all. Uh-oh: that spells a new, more inclusive target. Male audience. 25 to 75, to be more exact , because the only promise the poster makes is a sobering one: 'more than fairy tales'- color me surprised.
After all, 'we're all adults, here'. Key operating words: 'all' (more inclusivity) and 'adults' (not like in X-rated, but more like in 'serious shite').
Well, then. That would require narrative chutzpah and bold choices. That would require a faster paced script, less of those never-ending side stories and borderline neurodiverse focus on irrelevant details (I am still not done with that Fiery Cross and not even ashamed of it, at this point in time) that do plague The Books. And throw rotten tomatoes at me if you wish (I don't care), that would require the end of that horribly robotic directing - we all know what the hell that means.
Will they be able to keep that high-maintenance standard? One thing I am sure of: when you treat your fandom like shite and drag along endless spells of Droughtlander without as little as a bone thrown in for diversion for months in a row, you'd better hone that blade, darlings and go for a kill. Bring it on. Bring that addictive spice back, stat.
It is my humble understanding *** wishes to create an OL universe. Wanna bet the farm that somewhere in their cartons they do entertain the possibility of (at least) a second season of BOMB? S and C cameos could be a breeze to arrange, after all ( we consider this in theory - I happen to think it could be more complicated than that). The story could be duplicated to oblivion - is it way too outlandish to imagine a season devoted to Mandy and Jem's story through several timelines?
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