whenever youre free!! can you please write a spencer x reader where we meet spencer during an early season where he’s still cute and awkward maybe we date too but something happens and we don’t see him for a long time only to meet him again when he’s older and hotter (post prison) and there’s still crazy tension after all those years. in love with your writing btw!!! ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
tysm for requesting! hope this is ok :D ♡ 1.2k
cw vaguely suggestive theme
Looking at Spencer, you could almost think you were fresh out of college again, unsure of yourself and in need of a friend.
He'd been much more than a friend. It's why you're here.
The cake might have been a bad idea. You hold it between two hands, the subtle smell of chocolate rising from the box's ill-fitting lid. Your breath catches, words coming out wonky, "Hey. Spencer?"
He looks up from his book, startled at being found, you think. "Y/N?"
He looks the same.
Obviously, he's older. He has facial hair and his curls are styled rather than having been left to their own devices, but you feel as hopelessly enamoured with him as you had years ago, because he still smiles like a puppy dog.
You're twice as surprised as he is when he stands from his coffee table to hug you. The cake box wobbles in your hands as he squeezes you, swaying you from side to side, his laugh warm in your ear.
"What are you doing back here?" he asks, diving backward to see your face. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
"I still had JJ's number, you know, from when I wanted that address, and she texted me to say you'd been released, and I," —your voice curls tighter, are you talking too much?— "know you might not want to hear from me, but I was worried about you. You were my best friend."
His smile flickers. You press the cake into his hands.
"That's for you," you say.
Spencer's wavering smile turns to the box. He sets it down on the table beside his coffee cup and tented book, removing the lid carefully. You remember suddenly how nice his hands are, and the tracing of his fingertips down your bare shoulders. Goosebumps erupt along the ghost of his touch.
"Well done on not being a criminal," he reads, snorting. "Funny. Little too soon."
You feel like your stomach's fallen out, but he drops the act with another laugh.
"Oh, you're still a jerk," you say. "I'm glad something hasn't changed."
"You think I've changed?" he asks.
"You didn't get any taller, if that's what you're asking."
Spencer's smile turns fond. It's the sweet, sticky smile he'd always give you before he'd tell you he loved you, or that you were the best best friend ever. Or that last night, when you followed him hand in hand down the long hallway to his bedroom.
"I wasn't that much of a jerk, was I?" he asks.
"No, you weren't." You hold your hands behind your back. "Could I join you? Just for a bit?"
"You brought me a cake. I can't say no, can I? Of course you can sit down. I'll get you a coffee, okay?"
He touches his hand to your arm as he passes. You sit down in the seat across from him, sick with what-if and should-have. What if I could've stayed? Maybe I should have done more. But when Spencer ignored the letters you sent him while he was incarcerated, you figured you'd done more than he wanted. The cake was a last ditch effort, spurred on by JJ's text that read, I think he'd be really happy to see you.
Spencer puts a china cup down in front of you. You take a sip, muscle memory, and grin at him shyly as he slides into the seat across from you. "You remembered."
"I remember everything."
"Right. Your photographic memory."
"Eidetic, and sure, but I wouldn't forget about you." He reads your shyness for what it is, worry you've overstepped. He's too perceptive to trick. "I think I tried, but… I have so many bad memories, I wanted the good ones to keep."
You can't imagine the things he experienced in prison. JJ couldn't tell you much. You knew from how you had to address his letters alone that he was sent to a general correctional facility in Mexico, rather than the protective custody he'd needed. He doesn't look terrible considering, but you've barely seen him since you had to leave. He's aged well. The only worry is his dark under eyes.
"We had a good time," you say gently. "I knew you'd need that. That's why I sent you all those letters, you know? I wasn't trying to come back into your life, I know I don't deserve it after I left, but I couldn't stop thinking about you by yourself."
You stare at his book.
"How many letters did you send?" he asks.
"I don't really remember."
"I didn't get one." He grimaces. "I didn't get any from my mom, either. Think it was a coincidence?"
Spencer's time in was kind of sick. He stabbed himself, made friends with criminals, played a lot of chess, and learned how to make tacos in a doritos bag. It was also arguably the loneliest and most degrading time of his life.
One coffee becomes two, two becomes a third to go. You feel a hundred emotions but there's one that stands out the most as you drift around Pentagon City with him —wanting. You want him to be your best friend again, to rub your back and hold you when you're tired, to take you grocery shopping in his beat up P130. You want him to kiss you like he had, like he was searching for something, but he's changed so much that you don't know if your Spencer is still in there, under everything, or if he'd even want to.
"You live in the same apartment?" you ask.
"Can you imagine how much it would cost me to move that many books? Paying the rent turns out cheaper," he says, the two of you walking in the grey street. "What about you? You didn't come all the way here to see me."
"I actually did." You rub up the length of your upper arm, sheepish. "I did, Spencer."
For a while, all you can hear is the plastic rustling of the bag held in his hand.
"Thank you for writing to me. I didn't get to read them, but it makes a difference."
You lift your head to meet his eyes. He holds your gaze, a charge behind his dark brown eyes. You used to think his irises and his pupils were one and the same, but you can see now that there are flecks of light in his irises. His hedging of thick lashes kiss in the corners as he slowly, slowly smiles.
You glare at him. "Don't."
"Don't what?"
"You know what. You're doing that thing. Pretending you're not trying to make me nervous."
"I'm not doing that. Flustered, but not nervous." Is he smirking?
"Flustered," you repeat, your smile stupidly big now, cheeks aching. "Yeah, right, Reid."
His pinky brushes yours. You don't have any proof that he's doing it purposefully, but he is.
"Do you want to get something to eat? You can tell me what you were writing in your letters. I'd really, really like to know." His voice is threaded with a familiar timidity for the first time since you reunited.
There you are, you think happily. "Sure. You buy me a sticky bun from our old place and I'll tell you all my written secrets."
"Deal."
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