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xxlady-lunaxx · 5 months

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I couldn't, I thought I would lose you too... | {MasaNemi/SaneKana/SaneGiyuu}

Theme:Fluff, Angst, Fluff, repeat ✨ (No because there was more angst than I thought there would be)

Note: Yk, I don't have any pictures with all three of these ships ofc so It's just Nemi up there❤ Also goddamn the title is long as fuck 🥲 Btw, sorry if I don't get Masachika's personality right, I don't know much about him and haven't read a single fanfic with him in it so.. yeah, sorry in advance 😭

This oneshot has lots of spoilers for no real reason except it give it more action tbh 💀

[Slightly gone through and edited]

When Sanemi met Masachika, he knew there was something different about him. Though Masachika was just an ordinary demon slayer who Sanemi had shouted at, the two ended up bonding rather quickly, despite their contrasting personalities.

Masachika was one of the few—or rather, the only—who was able to calm Sanemi. They grew closer the more time they spent together, doing nearly everything aside the other. After passing final selection together, the two's feelings for each other pushed past friendship, crossing the line between friendly to romantic. Sanemi ended up being the first to express himself, though more on accident, when Masachika had gotten hurt on one of his solo missions. He'd been frantic when he heard this and rushed to Masachika's side. Luckily, his injury hadn't been deep enough to be fatal, though the spot where the wound was had been was dangerously close to his heart.

Then was when Sanemi had told Masachika how he'd felt. He'd not even realized it until Masachika took his hands and said he felt the same. Sanemi had been so worried, his own heart pounding in his ears as he'd shouted, "You fucking bastard! You have to be more careful!! The other people were far behind you, you had abolutely no fucking right to put yourself in such a fatal position and nearly get yourself killed! I can't fucking lose you, I love you and if you do go I won't be able to live!!"

Masachika, though weak from the wound, had heard this and smiled. It was clear that Sanemi hadn't even realized he'd said the words himself, but that they were very much true. He held Sanemi's hands in his and said, sweetly, soft, "Sanemi. I live for you, and you alone. I wouldn't leave you if I had a choice, I love you as well."

Those words brought Sanemi's head to clear. He shook, still, from the fear that had coursed through him when he'd heard that Masachika had been badly injured, but also from.. from a sort of contentment. Or relief. As the words sunk in, he realized what they really meant and his eyes opened wide, staring at the pale face of the one person he wanted to call his lover. He wrapped Masachika in his arms and bit back tears, cradling the one he loved in his embrace.

Since then, before each mission they had, the two swore they would never forget the other, knowing that this mission might as well be their last. Before this, before when their love was only friendship, they only expressed the hope of the other's safety. Now they would hug the other tightly as they said their goodbye's, hoping that it wouldn't be the last.

So again, when the crow came down and shouted their orders of a new mission, they were quick to get ready. Even on their joint missions, they said goodbye, because who knew if one might die, or if both, or none. They couldn't know.

Masachika prepared himself by making sure his katana was in place and Sanemi got the two some water before they headed off. Both stared at each other for a second, then Sanemi mumbled, "Masachika? I have a bad feeling about this mission."

Masachika laughed, though nothing about this was humorous. "You always say that, who's to say this one will be different? Don't make yourself worry, Nemi, we'll get through it as we always do. And even if we don't, you know I'll love you through anything, okay?" He hugged his lover tightly, and Sanemi wrapped his arms around Masachika.

That may be true, it may be just paranoia, but Sanemi felt a sickening feeling that this might be the last time he and Masachika could talk safely—or as safe as they could ever be—ever. He breathed in deeply Masachika's scent, a comforting smell, something he always associated with love. He let go of Masachika and said, "Nevertheless.. Please be careful, I don't want to lose you. Okay?" Then, though a little begrudgingly because he always felt these words were a little cringy sometimes, he added, "I love you too." He turned away abruptly, marching on his way towards the mission. Masachika followed with a teasing grin playing on his face.

~~~

He should've been more careful. He should've pushed Masachika away when he'd seen the demon lunge. But Masachika had said to prioritize the bystander's life over Masachika's and he had to. Because that's what being a demon slayer meant. Choose one or the other. He'd.. he'd mistakenly chosen the bystander's. The stranger hadn't even been in danger so pressing that he wouldn't get there on time if he had protected Masachika first. But it was done in a flash. Sanemi watched right before his eyes his lover, falling, blood, shouting. Sanemi was quick, then, shooting forward and cutting the demon's head off. Masachika did the best he could to help, his katana gripped tightly in his hand. The demon had been a Lowermoon. Too strong for Masachika alone, who had already been injured from one of the other demons who had paired up with the Lowermoon.

Sanemi fell to the ground, his arms around Masachika. He shouted, his voice emitting noises he couldn't comprehend. Then he heard Masachika, his voice thin, weak. "Sa..nemi.. Don't w..worry about m..me.. Pleas..e.. Just move.. move on.. You can't.. save me.. now.." he was whispering.

"No, no! I'll help! I.. I learned a little about healing once! I can save you! Just don't die! Don't close your eyes! Please! Please don't.. don't leave me," Sanemi choked out. "I love you," he whispered, the words more urgent now. "Please, please, I love you, Masachika.."

Masachika's mouth twisted into a smile. And, though it was forced through the pain, it looked so sweet it broke Sanemi's heart. "I love you too, Sanemi," he said, sighing gently against Sanemi's arms. Blood was spilling out of whatever wounds he'd acquired from the demon as his eyes fluttered close. Sanemi shook his head desperately, but he knew it was useless. He really couldn't do anything for Masachika. Nothing.

He pressed his lips gently onto Masachika who, with his last strength, kissed back. His muscles, previously tensed, instinctively trying to stop the blood, loosened, and Masachika was gone. Dead.

Sanemi whimpered, tears pouring down his face. He couldn't bear this. He didn't want this. Why.. why Masachika. Why..!

~~~

He became a Hashira. Masachika would've as well if he'd survived, but he didn't. So now it was just Sanemi. Sanemi, alone, broken, and a fucking Hashira. He was greeted by this 'Ubuyashiki' whom they called Oyakata-Sama. Why must he bow? To this fragile, delicate, useless man?! After his lover, his best friend, the one person who understood him, had died.. How. Why.

But Kagaya knew Masachika. Somehow. He.. he gave Sanemi Masachika's will. It was somewhat heartbreaking to read, and he didn't object to anything else Kagaya said.

He met the other Hashira. Gyomei Himejima, Kanae Kocho, Tengen Uzui, and Giyuu Tomioka. There weren't many but of course it wasn't easy to aquire many people who met the expectations of being a Hashira. Apparently there was another, Shinjuro Rengoku, who was, from what he knew, mourning his wife and didn't want to attend the meeting.

He kept his distnce from all Hashira and jut went by his missions numbly, as if he was on autopilot. This didn't go on for long, though, because Kanae Kocho had caught an interest on him. She would follow him around a lot more than he was comfortable with, and she would comment on every little detail on him, around them, or just anything.

He might one day escape her but she would always find him again. By the end of the week, he already knew how she'd become a demon slayer, her family, including an adopted sister, where she lived, what her sister expertised in, what she was best at, her hobbies, about 50 different types of flowers, several more types of plants, how to best grow them, the pace the clouds were moving on Wednesday, her own weather predictions, where she tended to have her missions at, her crow's name, and the exact curve of the scars on his face.

He was, as you might expect, rather overwhelmed by all of this, something Kanae hadn't noticed yet. One day, however, he began to see Kanae in a different light. She'd found him one afternoon and had sat next to him. As usual, she went off with her usual chatter and he tuned her out, focusing on a tree off in the distance. But then her face popped up in front of him and he jolted back, surprised. She had laughed then said, "Shinazugawa, look! I found this flower that reminds me of you. It's white and purple, purple as in your eyes and white as in your hair! It's really pretty, too. But it has a fierce sort of look, so it really suits you." She'd smiled then and showed Sanemi the flower. He only studied it for a second before she promptly tucked it behind Sanemi's ear and her smile widened in amusement. "It looks lovely on you."

This little action had surprised Sanemi, somehow. As if he'd been blind all this time but when she did this, smiling and showing him the flower, reciting what kind it was, he'd gained the sense of sight. Like he'd opened his eyes for the first time and saw, actually saw this girl in front of him.

He didn't understand. Had Kanae done something different with her hair? Was she in a better mood today? No, she was the same. Maybe it was Sanemi. Maybe Sanemi had.. had acquired something new and he had to figure it out.

It didn't take long for him to find out what it was, though, because he'd felt this way before. Except this time, the feeling came a bit more suddenly. Not quite as gradually as before. Love. He was beginning to love Kanae.

But why? He still loved Masachika, though he knew that he should move on. But what was so different about her? Her... her energy. It was so wonderfully active and sweet, like Masachika. Except Kanae had always been like this, so it couldn't be his lingering feelings for his fallen lover making him think of Kanae as him. It had to be something else. Or maybe it wasn't anything in particular, it was just.. just her. Kanae.

He didn't want to move on, though. He wanted to be loyal to his promise of loving Masachika forever. But.. but he liked Kanae. More than he wanted to supress. He.. could protect her better than he had with Masachika. Yes, yes he would do that. Who said you couldn't love two people at once? He would never get Masachika back until the day he died, and he was still being true to his word, so.. so loving Kanae would be almost freeing. It would soothe his broken heart in a way he would be truly loving someone else and moving on. Moving on in a way that he could do what Masachika wished for him and still be loyal to Masachika.

Sanemi never told Kanae, straight up, that he loved her. Kanae had said she loved Sanemi equally, only knowing though not because he'd said that he'd loved her and she loved him. She had for a while, but Sanemi had never caught on. They dated, but their affection came mostly through actions because it was easier for Sanemi to handle. Kanae was great with words though. She could bring the most ordinary, boring words to the most wonderful sounds to Sanemi's ears. She held Sanemi together and in her arms and was Sanemi's comfort.

A month or so into their relationship, Sanemi realized he should tell Kanae that he loved her. He'd held back for so long, still holding onto the small part of him who wouldn't let go of Masachika enough to say so. But he felt he was brave enough to do so now, so he would try. The way he'd confessed to Kanae had been by kissing her. He never told her that he loved her, though she knew that he did, so he never felt he had to say it. But now he thought it wasn't fair to her because she would constantly tell him her love for him so he wanted to say it back.

Kanae was on a mission, currently, so he would tell her when she got back. Sanemi slept that night rather peacefully, for he had finished his own mission early, but he woke up in distress. Though he had no idea why. He got up and noticed that the sun was just now rising, so he went to the butterfly mansion to wait for Kanae to return. Shinobu, Kanae's younger sister, he recognized, came back. She was in tears and he thought none of it until he noticed the Kakushi behind her, supporting a body. A familiar one. Kanae's.

Dread pushed him up and to his feet, running to Shinobu, panicked. "Ka.. Kanae.. I.. What happened," Sanemi breathed, quickly scrambling down the steps and to Shinobu and the Kakushi.

Shinobu looked away and the Kakushi did nothing but give Sanemi a grim look. Sanemi shook his head, again, his panic filling his body and overwhelming him, trying to force his way out. He put his hand to his stomach, his shock and pain, though none of it physical, had him trying not to vomit. He clenched his fists and bit back tears as he stared at Kanae's body, draped over the Kakushi's back, lifeless, dead.

The word rang through his mind, over and over. Dead. Kanae. She was dead. She.. dead.. All over again. Just like Masachika. He couldn't bear this. Not another.. not another death. His.. he loved her. So.. So much. And yet she was taken away from him. Just like Masachika had been. Everyone he loved was falling before his eyes. He didn't want this. He couldn't fucking take it anymore.

Sanemi fell to his knees and ripped at his hair in anger. He shouted out in desperation and it hot tears poured down his cheeks. He was angry. He was shocked. He was so desperately in need of someone, anyone, who might love him, who might care for him, who wouldn't die. He was crying, shouting, ripping at his own skin. Why. What the fuck did he ever do? His family, dead. Masachika, dead. Kanae, dead. Who was next? WHO THE FUCK WAS NEXT?

He felt a gentle hand on his back, and for a hopeful second he thought it was Kanae, about to scoop him up in her arms and cradle him lovingly. But then he looked up and saw Shinobu, her pitiful gaze upon him. He backed away. He didn't want her pity. He didn't want Shinobu, the girl who was the one he just lost's sister. The one who had also lost someone. He was being selfish. Shinobu had lost someone as well. But had Sanemi ever given a fuck about Shinobu? No. He would go, leave, somewhere where Kanae's lifeless form didn't lay hovering near him. Somewhere where he could grieve over her without the pitying eyes of someone who had also lost her. Somewhere where he could be as selfish as he wanted to be, somewhere where he could tear himself inside out until he was nothing.

Sanemi got up and ran. He ran, his hands closed so tightly blood pricked from under his fingers. Pain. Pain would distract him from this. All of this.

He enclosed himself in his house, slamming the door and breathing heavily. He gripped onto the handle for a minute, unable to move. Then he slid down the door, his body on the floor, limp. He cried. He cried because he'd lost Kanae. He cried because he'd never truly told her he loved her. He cried because he'd lost Masachika. He cried because he could. Because he could let out his pain now, here, by himself, alone, in the form of tears. Water. He cried because he was so fucking useless. He cried because he hadn't protected anyone. Because he had failed. Again, again, and again. No matter how many times he'd sworn to protect, he failed once again. He poured his heart out and his hands gripped his arms, scratching lines into his skin. He stayed there for a very long time, unwilling to move until it all ended. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would cry himself dead. Because he deserved hell right now. For failing to protect the people he'd sworn to never let die.

~~~

Sanemi was a mess the next few months. He was either very loud and violent or quiet and ignorant. He avoided most people and spoke only in shouts. One day, he ventured to a training area and found Giyuu, who was training in hand-to-hand combat, his katana kept on his belt. Sanemi watched for a beat then walked over, moving to put down his waterbottle to the side. Giyuu decided right then to kick and only just noticed Sanemi walking. Giyuu managed to rectract his leg so it wouldn't hit Sanemi but it sliced the waterbottle in half instead and water went splashing over the two of them.

Giyuu spluttered and stumbled back, wiping at his face. He mumbled a quick sorry, preparing for the shouting that... never came. Sanemi was staring at him and Giyuu was confused.

Sanemi felt his head clear for a moment. For the first time in months. He blinked. Giyuu looked.. kind of, maybe, a little, well, yes, but no, he.. he looked somewhat pretty. His wet hair framing his face, his eyes blue and clear and wonderful, and.. and just him.

Sanemi shook his head, water spraying around him. Giyuu stepped back, confused. Then Sanemi was back to normal. He said, "Get the fuck away from me, I'm going to train. And unless you want me to slice your head off you better stay out of my way."

Giyuu nodded and walked away, going to dry himself in the sun. Sanemi watched him until Giyuu was completely out of the training site and then started his own training. He often trained to vent out his feelings, kicking and punching the air, imagining it to be whoever—whatever—kept taking those he loved from him. It often made him cry anyways but at least he could pretend he accidentally grazed his own eye or something. This time, though, he thought about Giyuu. Thought about how Sanemi had felt, seeing Giyuu like this. He rarely paid attention to the Water Hashira who was always only there but never putting himself up front, always hovering somewhere in the back quietly. They had another Hashira meeting soon, he could study Giyuu's behaviour this time.

~~~

Sanemi watched Giyuu, though he tried to be subtle about it, as he kept his eye on the Water Hashira during the meeting. This time, their meeting began with the arrival of some random demon slayer who appeared to be traveling with a demon. Sanemi had walked in and, figuring the best way to watch Giyuu was continuously calling him out, so he stabbed the demon in the middle of the field and shouted at Giyuu about why he kept staying to the side when it was his fault.

Sanemi noted how Giyuu kept his back away from everyone, though he seemed as perceptive as ever, and he said little to nothing, no matter how many times people called out to him. He saw overall Giyuu's way of ignoring, but he also noticed the little things. The way Giyuu's eyes flicked towards everyone as they shouted to him, and the way he reacted ever so slightly, his body moving for less than a second as if it had a mind of it's own before Giyuu caught it. Sanemi never realized how much there was to learn about this particular Hashira.

That's when it struck him how little anybody seemed to know about Giyuu. Nobody knew about his family, or his past, or anything. Everyone at least had a slight idea of the other Hashira's pasts, except Muichiro who had forgotten it—which was very odd but he seemed extremely forgetful anyways—Gyomei who never spoke of it unless asked, but it wasn't something that usually came up, and Obanai who prefered to keep it to himself, though they had a vague idea that Kyojuro's father was involved with his. But those three, except Muichiro of course, all spoke more and were more open. In fact, they didn't even know much about Giyuu's present life, besides the fact that he was a Hashira. It was strange. Could his past be that bad or was he just very distrustful?

Sanemi continued pondering this as time went by. He would watch Giyuu and eventually the two got used to each other company—though that didn't mean they actually talked. Sanemi found Giyuu was good company when he wanted to be near someone with no questions asked. Everyone else would worry more, talk about nonsense, or just bother Sanemi. For a reason he didn't know, Giyuu didn't bother him anymore. He turned out to be somewhat comforting, though he never said or did anything.

Sanemi and Giyuu started having some conversations eventually, except they were all just one or two sentence conversations, short replies, and then silence. Not an awkward silence, however, but a silence as if to say, We don't have anything to talk about, we're just here because we want to be. Not exactly familiar, more so as neither minded it and felt like the silence would be more fitting than talk.

And then came the feelings. Again. Sanemi couldn't stop them before he realized they were there. He didn't want to fall in love. Not again. Not when everyone else he loved had died. He couldn't bring himself to admit it and shoved them deep down, though he knew he could never make them go away like that.

Months passed in a blur and so suddenly he found himself in the midst of a battle that would be sure to wear him to the bone. Kagaya was dead. A lot of Hashira were sure to die, too. And Muzan. Muzan was there. Muzan was there and Sanemi would fucking grind him to dust for taking away all he'd ever known to love.

He fought almost carelessly, as if he couldn't bear letting himself live but had to fight forward to save people. Everyone. Those who were still alive. Genya.

Genya was gone. Where? Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Where was Genya? He had his crow lead him to the nearest Uppermoon. Upper one. And there. Right next to the demon. Genya. Genya, sliced in half, useless, injured. Badly. Sanemi rushed forward, fast. He got there right before the Uppermoon killed Genya. He had to protect Genya. Now.

As he fought, he realized he didn't know where Giyuu was. He was glad, though, because if he hadn't heard anything from the crows about Giyuu that meant he was still okay. Last he heard, Upper three had been killed. Giyuu must've moved on with the Kamado boy to the next demon.

~~~

Sanemi felt like he would collapse. He was badly injured. And he would let himself collapse if it wasn't for Muichiro and Genya. Gyomei shouted. Shouted words that took him a second to register in his mind. "Don't let Tokito and Genya's lives go to waste!" he had shouted. Genya's? Genya was dead. He.. what..

Yet again, Sanemi had failed. He couldn't fucking believe it. He let the tears flow because stopping them would make it harder to fight, more effort he'd have to put in. He sliced at Kokushibo, his anger growing furiously. Why had he let down so many? He had sworn to himself to protect Genya. Not to get close to him, to make him leave the demon slayer corps and fucking take care of himself. So why? Why couldn't he do that? Why, of all people, did Genya have to die? When all he had done was good? When Sanemi should be the one to die. Why the fuck must it be like this?

And then it was over. Kokushibo was gone. Finally. Sanemi was unconscious though. Fighting, swinging his katana in the air, hitting nothing. He slumped against Gyomei's steady arm.

It wasn't long before he awoke. He awoke and saw his brother crumbling to dust before him. No. No, no, no, no. He couldn't take this. Please. Stop. Help. He needed help. He had to protect Genya. Please. Why him too. Genya wouldn't stop though. He was saying something. Apologizing to Sanemi. Why did he apologize? He did nothing wrong. Nothing. This was all Sanemi's fault. Maybe if he'd let Genya talk to him, maybe then he would've left.

And then..

And then Genya was gone. He.. gone.. Sanemi clenched his fist around Genya's clothes. All that was left. All that was fucking left.

He rose at Gyomei's command. He would fucking kill Muzan. He would protect the last person he loved. He would protect Giyuu if it was the last thing he would do.

~~~

Giyuu was already there when Sanemi and Gyomei arrived. Muzan.. Muzan looked different. His aura was horrible. It cut through Sanemi like a knife. Danger. Every one of Sanemi's senses told him to run. Far away and never look back. Which was why he dove right in, slicing Muzan in half—though the demon instantly regenerated. He threw multiple bottles that Muzan instantly crushed. The liquid in them splashed all over Muzan and Sanemi was quick to incinerate him. Fire. Anything to stop Muzan. To save at least one.

Sanemi shoot forward and cut Muzan again and again. He managed to get onto the side Giyuu was and he decided to stay one pace ahead of Giyuu, so he could always protect him. Every Hashira left, fought with all their might. Press him down. Until dawn. Don't allow him to escape. Not now. Not when they were so close. Not when they'd already lost so many.

He barely registered what was happening. Blood, screaming, shouting, pain, ...fight. Fight until your arms fall off then fight with your legs. Fight until you can't move but keep going forward. Fight until all you can do is stand in front of those who can still move. Fight until all you can do is die. Fight to death and don't you dare let your guard down. Don't let everyone down. Don't let it be your fault we lose. Don't let us lose. Fight. Fucking fight.

Sanemi felt his arms would fall, but he gripped tightly onto his katana. Muichiro had managed to hold onto his blade even after his body had been cut in half. Muichiro had been 14. Too young. So young. If Muichiro could do that, Sanemi would push on. Forward. Don't stop.

He saw Gyomei, clashing his weapons together. They turned red, red like the blood Muzan spread so carelessly. Sanemi dashed to Giyuu. He would make their blades turn red by doing what Gyomei had done but with their katanas. And as their blades turned red, Sanemi whispered, "Please.. stay alive." He wasn't even sure if Giyuu had heard, or if he'd imagined this, but he vaguely made out two words that made him stand straighter, stronger, "You too."

They fought. An hour till dawn. Half an hour. Twenty minutes. Sanemi was badly injured. Blood continuously spilled out of his wounds. But he wouldn't lay down and let himself heal. No, not yet. He got up once more. He heard shouting. He saw Tanjiro and Obanai. Then Giyuu. Then Muzan. And the sun. The sun was rising.

Sanemi shot up, ignoring the pain that dashed through his body with him. He ran towards Muzan and everyone pressed him in. They had to keep him in the sun.

Then it was over. Muzan was dead. And so were so many other people.

Sanemi blinked, noting he was about to pass out. He turned his head, looking for Giyuu. Right before he blacked out, his eyes met those wonderful blue ones and he smiled ever so slightly. Giyuu was alive.

~~~

It was quiet when Sanemi came back into consciousness, though he could hear someone walking around him. Then a thought occured to him and he sat up straight, forgetting how bad his injuries had been before. He looked around blearily, stifiling a groan as pain shot through his body. Giyuu's arm had been cut off during the fight, was he okay? He blinked several times, trying to make sense of where he was.

His gaze focused and he saw Aoi, someone who worked at the butterfly mansion, he remembered vaguely. He stayed still, waiting until the pain faded slightly then said, "How long have I been out?"

Aoi sighed, looking a little worried. "Only a few days, I'm surprised you already woke up. You nearly died. Especially right after Muzan did, we thought you wouldn't make it. How do you feel? Your wounds are still bad, but the lesser ones have already started healing. You're sure to have more scars now but you already had so many, I doubt it'll be noticable."

Sanemi cleared his throat but it still felt dry like sandpaper. Aoi quickly helped him drink some water and Sanemi tried again, his head still a little dizzy. "Pain all over. Headache. It's not that bad though, I guess. How is everyone else?" He hesitated. "Giyuu?"

"Well, Tomioka is as good as he can be with one arm missing, but overall he's.. healing. Out of all the Hashira, only you and Tomioka survived." Aoi looked away. "Shinobu, Himejima, Iguro, Kanroji and Tokito all died. So did many of the other demon slayers. There were still many lower-ranked demon slayers surviving though, luckily. And Tanjiro, Agatsuma, Inosuke, Kanao, Nezuko, and so on are also alive. Though Kanao and Nezuko came close to dying."

"Oh," Sanemi said. His mind was focused on the first part of what Aoi said so it took him a second to register all of the rest Aoi had explained. "Nezuko? The demon Kamado girl? How is she alive?"

"The serum they made to turn demons back to humans," Aoi said, bustling over. "You should lay down, it's not good you're up already right now. You don't want to open your wounds."

"Right, right. Did it almost kill her, then?" Sanemi asked, wondering how that made sense. Aoi put her hand on his chest and on his back, guiding his body back down to the bed.

"No, Tanjiro turned into a demon and he bit Nezuko," Aoi said almost dismissively.

"What?!" Sanemi shouted, jolting back up. He winced at the pain and slowly lay back down. "What do you mean? And how is he alive then? What about the sun?"

"Sorry, I forgot you were unconscious at that time. Muzan turned Tanjiro into a demon right before he died. Nezuko would've... Actually, all of us would be dead, most likely, if Kanao hadn't had one more of the concoctions they'd made to turn demons into humans again. Sh..Shinobu had given it to her before," Aoi explained. "Tanjiro, much like Nezuko, was able to resist the sun, so.."

"Oh. But they're all okay, no?" Sanemi asked.

"Yes, everyone who I said was alive is alive. This happened right after Muzan died and they were able to get Tanjiro back eventually," Aoi said with a sigh. "I'll get you some food, please let yourself rest. And don't get up."

Sanemi nodded absently. Aoi walked out of the room and he stared up at the cealing. So everyone had nearly died again and he'd been asleep? Goddamnnit he was useless. At least Giyuu was okay. Alive.

There was a knock on the door and he turned his head slightly to face it. Aoi sure had gotten the food fast. "Come in," Sanemi mumbled, his voice raspy from the lack of water.

The door opened and, instead of the girl he'd been expecting, there stood Giyuu. Giyuu in all his wonderful, sleepy mess. He stood by the door, one arm held up in a sling, his hair a mess, and in the clothes Aoi provided patients who stayed here with. Giyuu looked adorable in them, for he looked so tired and the clothes looked loose and messy and fit him right.

"G..Giyuu..!" Sanemi said in surprise. He struggled to get up and then he stood, regretting his actions immediately.

Giyuu walked over and helped Sanemi to stand and lean against him. "Hi. Shouldn't you be resting? I thought you would be asleep," Giyuu said quietly. He sounded tired too. And god had Sanemi missed this voice. Rough with sleep, quiet, gentle, and so, so lovely.

"Yes, but, what are you doing here? Are you okay?" Sanemi asked.

Giyuu nodded. "I heard from the hallway you had woken up."

"When did you wake up?" Sanemi said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yesterday."

"Ah."

Then it was silent. Though Sanemi's head pounded and his heart as well, though for completely different reasons. The two Hashira—or, perhaps, former Hashira—gazed into each others eyes, finding comfort in the other.

But the quiet didn't last long when the door opened and Aoi marched in with a tray of food. She took one look at the two and sighed, irritated. "I thought this might happen," she grumbled. She put down the tray on a table nearby and shooed Giyuu away. "You're supposed to be in your room resting!! Just because your injuries aren't as bad as some others doesn't mean you can just go on, prancing about. Go sleep! If you want something, then ask for it."

Giyuu left, waving to Sanemi as the door closed. Then Aoi rounded on Sanemi and he quickly sat down on his bed. Aoi stalked up to him and poked his chest lightly, as if wanting to make a point but not wanting to injure him further. "And you. I told you not to get up! Just because you Hashira are stronger doesn't give you the right to go walking around as if you didn't just participate in the most dangerous thing you ever have and will be in!! You are going to rest until you're fully healed, at least as much as you can in this state, and you will listen to me. Understood?"

Sanemi nodded. He quickly lay back down and tried to ignore the way Aoi reminded him of Kanae and Masachika when they worried. He waited as Aoi prepared his food and thought silently, pushing away all the pain he felt right now. Giyuu had come to see him. And Giyuu was okay. He was okay.

~~~

It didn't take too long for Sanemi to heal and Aoi let him off saying, "I swear, you Hashira are some miracles to be healing practically inhumanly fast.."

Sanemi walked down the hallway of the mansion, looking for Giyuu. He bumped into Nezuko who unfortunately—or maybe not—brang back some memories he had of Genya. He decided that she was a good kid.

He turned and continued walking, finding himself in front of Giyuu after a minute. He blinked, surprised, for he didn't remember seeing Giyuu. Then he realized he'd zoned out and he quickly stepped back. Giyuu hadn't moved, and was just staring at Sanemi quietly.

"You cut your hair?" Sanemi asked, after a moment of silence.

"Yes. I didn't do it by myself, though. It's hard to put my hair up with one hand," Giyuu said simply.

Sanemi nodded. That made sense. Giyuu looked beautiful with his hair short as well. "Eh, when were you let out?" Sanemi said, when Giyuu didn't say anything else.

"Around a week ago. We have a meeting with Master Kiriya in two hours, I was going to tell you." Giyuu moved then, as if to do something, then decided against it. He leaned against the wall, his hair moving over of his eyes slightly.

Sanemi nodded. Of course. "Right. How are they? Kiriya and the other Ubuyashiki's? It must be hard for them after all of this," Sanemi said.

"I don't know, I haven't been to see them yet. A crow informed me," Giyuu explained. "They must be handling it, though. All three of them are strong. Even at such young ages."

"Yes."

And then they were quiet again. Their conversations tended to die out eventually. It was alright though, it gave Sanemi the chance to inspect Giyuu for any sign he wasn't actually okay.

But then Giyuu spoke. "Shina.. Sanemi?" he said quietly. "Could we.. go out for a little? On a walk before we head to the Ubuyashiki mansion?"

Sanemi nodded, surprised. "Yeah, sure, of course."

Giyuu gave Sanemi the faintest hint of a smile then started towards the entrance of the butterfly mansion. Sanemi followed after a second, his mind replaying Giyuu's smile over and over in his head.

The two walked for a little in silence, and Sanemi wondered why Giyuu had asked him to go on a walk with him. Giyuu finally spoke up and said, "How.. how are your injuries?"

"Healed, only lost two fingers," Sanemi said. "I was quite lucky."

"I heard you were nearer to death than I was, no?" Giyuu pointed out.

"Well, it was mostly blood loss, I guess. No lost limbs, just a lot of wounds," Sanemi corrected.

"Ah, okay."

Sanemi nodded and then Giyuu stopped. He stopped as well and turned to look at the other Hashira. "Hm?"

"Sa..nemi, can I ask you something?" Giyuu said quietly.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Do you.. Ah, how to say this.. Kanroji-San, before, when she was alive, said that.. that maybe you, uh," Giyuu paused, his voice faltering. He continued after a beat, but his voice was quieter. "You might like me? She said it wasn't in 'the way of friendship,' but rather, well, ah. Sorry if it isn't true, but, she said that you might love me. In the.. In the way she and Iguro loved each other?" he suggested, trying to make himself clear.

Sanemi froze, his gaze drifting away from Giyuu for the first time since they left the estate. He was so uncharacteristically quiet that Giyuu felt the urge to apologize again. Before he could, though, Sanemi looked up and met Giyuu's eyes. His gaze didn't falter and Giyuu saw, in the way Sanemi stared at him, that what Mitsuri had said was true.

"Oh," was all Giyuu could say.

Then Sanemi broke their eye contact and looked away. His voice was soft and quiet, something Giyuu wasn't used to hearing from Sanemi, as he said, "I suppose you don't feel the same. Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

Sanemi didn't get a response and he thought Giyuu might've left. But when he looked up to see, his eyes landed on Giyuu, who stood in the same place as before, but with a sort of determined and defiant look twisted onto his features.

"No, I came for confirm and, if.. if they were true, to.. accept," Giyuu said, his voice strong and certain.

"Are you trying to make jokes because you decided to stop being sulky and to and come out of your shell?" Sanemi asked, raising an eyebrow.

Giyuu was confused and shook his head. Then he smiled, a ghost of a smile more like, and said, "No. I have no promises I'll 'stop being sulky,' but I am coming out, I guess you could say. Not out of my 'shell,' rather I'm coming out, as I think it's said, out of the closet."

Sanemi laughed at that. "Oh, really?"

"Yes."

Then the smile dropped from both of their faces and Sanemi stepped forward slightly. "Are you.. are you just saying this because you pity me, or..?" he prompted.

"I have no reason to pity you," Giyuu said, moving forward as well.

"So you truly do.. do like me as well?" Sanemi asked.

"Truly, certainly, yes," Giyuu said, now only an inch away from Sanemi.

"Then.. would you let me kiss you?"

Giyuu responded by pressing his lips onto Sanemi's and his arms wrapped around the Hashira. Sanemi copied the motion, his hands running through Giyuu's soft hair and the two stayed in the embrace for a little, until Giyuu pulled apart, breathing heavily.

Sanemi smiled slightly, resting his forehead against Giyuu's. "I promise I'll always stay with you."

"Mm, then I promise to always love you," Giyuu whispered back.

Sanemi smiled in response. Yes, he would stay with Giyuu for the rest of their four years together. Sanemi could finally love in peace.

{Word count: 6867}

Love it when motivation randomly strikes me

Btw sorry if some of the events that canonically happen that I included in here aren't accurate, I'm writing those from memory- Ngl I like writing action through emotions it's so fun and just.. just yes ✨

OKAY BYE ML'S<33 HAVE A GOOD DAYYY (or night or whatever idk..)

Edit (me only some minutes later forgetting to put this in-):

Watch your goofy author struggle with not typing too fast 💀