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deansleather · 8 years ago

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Overprotective

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Prompt(s): “What happened doesn’t change anything” for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing hiatus challenge week 10, The Grey Man for @sisterhoodofsam Monster Rejects

Summary: All you want is to help Sam and Dean with hunts; this is the last thing in the world that Sam wants. You become determined to prove your capability, but sometimes the middle ground is the best place to be, especially when you love somebody.

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 3688

Warnings: injury, blood, a lot of hunting, I tried my hand at a scarier type of writing in parts

A/N: Kind of a new style (ish), just trying out scary. Please let me know what you think, because FEEDBACK IS LOVED AND NEEDED!!

“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.” ― Mae West

Sam and you filled the silence only with the clanks of your forks touching plates. Dean had gone out for a drink earlier, and you were too heated to cook, especially not while Sam continued to stew over their current case. Takeout food seemed like the easiest option, except it took away all the simpler ice-breakers. “Dinner tastes great tonight, honey” is a whole hell of a lot easier than “You’re not hunting with us no matter how much you pout.” Sam cleared his throat.

“Thanks for grabbing take out, Y/n/n,” he said. You nodded curtly.

“Mhm,” you answered. “Good thing I’m strong enough to do that on my own, right?”

He rolled his eyes, continuing the dinner into an ever more uncomfortable silence. You were dating a hunter for God’s sake, how did he expect this conversation not to come up? Of course you would want to help. He sat over books for hours, mulling and taking notes as he collected dust along with the rest of their library, leaving you alone in bed. He’d be gone for days, while you were stuck at home worrying. He and Dean were practically leaping in front of bullets to save each other without thought. Was it really all that crazy that you might want to help?

You took your finished plates to the kitchen, sighing as you began to run the sink. You didn’t expect to become the bunker’s housewife, but you’d slowly morphed into the 50’s stereotype of a woman. Staying home, tidying up and looking after the house while Sam and Dean did all the real work. Screw that. You did your best to contain a growl as Sam wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You remained focused on the dishes.

“Y/n,” he murmured, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Talk to me.”

“I’ll talk to you all night, Samuel,” you said. “But you don’t like my conversation topic.”

“Bringing out the full name? Ouch.” You could feel him smirk. You’d yet to find anything amusing. “Look, it’s not that I think you can’t hunt, I just-“

“No, that’s exactly what it is.” You spun around, poking at his chest with a soapy finger. “For whatever reason, you think I’m some prissy princess who can’t fend for herself. May I remind you, we met after I saved myself from a vampire?” His mouth was slightly agape as he fought for the words to say.

“Yes, I remember Y/n, the head on the floor and all. Why would you want that to be your everyday life?”

“Because I chose to date a man who hunts monsters. I knew what I was signing up for Sam.”

“Yes, the worry, the stress, the fear.” Sam’s voice raised slightly. “You’re already sacrificing so much just being around us, why add more pressure?”

“I’d feel a hell of a lot better if I was out there helping you bozos instead of stuck here like your maid!” Sam sighed, his exasperation just irking you more.

“I’ve always offered to help with cleaning, I was the one who did it before you moved in.”

“That’s not why I’m mad and you know it,” you muttered, pushing past him. Just as you were about to leave the kitchen, he called out to you.

“I don’t care how long you’re mad, Y/n.” His voice grew stern, though he just looked exhausted. “You’re not hunting with us. Ever.”

You held back from cursing, continuing to stalk off to your room, locking the door behind you. Fine, you thought. If I can’t hunt with you, I guess I’ll just do it myself.

~~~

You rubbed your eyes, your hands tight on the wheel as you tried to fight your sleepiness. Exhaustion made you lose nearly all your speed, reflexes, and even some of your intelligence. It wasn’t the best state to be driving in, especially at night, but you were too close to the bunker to grab a hotel room for the night. After your fight with Sam, you became determined to find your own case and solve it by yourself, but that turned out to be quite difficult with them constantly on the lookout for cases, not to mention you shared a room with Sam. It was beyond frustrating, you felt like a grounded teen, stuck in the house all day. Today, you just couldn’t take it anymore, going out in the early morning and driving all day, leaving nothing but a note for Sam and then turning your phone off. It felt good to just drive, stopping only when you were hungry or there was something you wanted to see, but after a full day of it, your butt and legs were practically screaming at you.

It was a straight shot, just continue down the back road and you’d eventually merge onto the gravel that led to the bunker. You could probably close your eyes right then and there just so long as you kept the wheel straight. Even with as good of a day as you had, a sense of unease crawled up your spine, the back of your neck feeling as though needles were pricking near your hairline. You turned on the car’s brights, keeping an intense eye on the world around your car. Something wasn’t right.

Your hands held so tight to the wheel you were afraid you might break it, a cold sweat breaking on your forehead. What the hell was happening? Your breathing became labored as your chest collapsed in on itself, or at least it felt like. A panic attack had struck you, seemingly out of nowhere. As you continued down the road, your head lights did little to break through the thick fog. You couldn’t see at all, your only indication you were going the right way the gravel crunching beneath the weight of your car. The panic attack subsided, but the air of stress remained, your whole body hot with dread.

Multiple things happened at once; all so fast you could hardly see any of it. You had cracked the window, just for the hope of some cool air. Just as you did, the fog began to enter the car, looking thicker than you’d remembered fog to. It stifled your breathing, and just as you were about to close the window, a dark cloaked figure emerged from the fog, standing mere feet away from the front of your car. Your instincts finally kicked in, and you quickly turned out of the way, the fog pushing you even harder in the direction. You were confused by the assistance until you saw what lied ahead; a large, impenetrable oak. As quick as your stressed body could, you slammed on the breaks, closing your eyes for what you hoped to be a gentle crash.

Opening one eye at first, you took in what you could of your surroundings. No crash, no demonic being standing above you, everything was for the most part intact. With a deep breath, you backed away the from the forest, tearing ass to get home.

You were freaked out when you finally parked in front of the bunker’s door but did your best to push it down. The boys were occupied with looking into some vamp case down south, there was no talk of a mysterious figure that fucked with you in the fog. There was no way you imagined it, no matter how exhausted you were, and you’re mind kept replaying the night over and over. You had just found your first solo case.

~~~

Things were relatively quiet for a while after the incident. Truth be told, you didn’t even know where to begin with research, the bunker’s library so vast and seemingly unorganized. You figured there probably was some method to the chaos, Sam got around pretty easy, but you just couldn’t seem to pin it down. Besides, you really didn’t want to raise suspicions, and lugging around hundred-pound books definitely would. So, until you could figure out a better angle, you went along with your normal business.

Even with dropping it for a bit, your mind was still consumed, making you a little airier to those around you. Sam was worried, but mostly just glad you were talking to him again. Dean was oblivious to your drama as per usual, too caught up in his own mental state to worry about much else around him. You tried to find joy in your usual passions; reading, TV, sleeping. None of it worked, the dark figure from that foggy night haunted your every thought.

The boys eventually gathered up enough data to go hunt the vamps, their packing making you both anxious and eager. Finally, you were getting the chance to solve a case on your own, prove to both yourself and the boys that you were more than capable, but fear seemed to trickle slowly into your mind. What if you couldn’t handle it? If you died, you knew that both Sam and Dean would surely feel to blame, holding that guilt until their last breath. Were you just being silly, rebelling against the perfectly comfortable status quo? The thoughts seemed to swallow you whole, but the brothers were off before you could change your mind, a sweet kiss from Sam as your hopefully temporary goodbye.

It was only a couple days since they’d left, but you already felt like you were going insane. You were certain that Sam must have magic powers, as there was no way in hell that there was a rhyme or reason to the library. You were alone in the bunker, too scared to go outside without some solid lead on not only what you were hunting, but how to kill the bastard. After day four, you decided to consume your thoughts into another healthier passion; cooking.

You opened the fridge with slight apprehension, for whatever reason. What, was the monster hiding in the veggie drawer? You knew better, but something did feel off. As you stood peering into the fridge, the most horrendous smell began emanating out, making you grimace and quickly slam it shut. Immediately, that sense of dread returned, just like the night of your almost wreck, crawling up and down your spine. You went into overdrive, doing everything you could think of to protect yourself. You grabbed out an iron knife and a flask of holy water, some salt from the cabinet, and a cross from the wall, hurrying to the couch. You quickly sprinkled a circle of salt all around it, hopping in with just seconds to spare. As you looked around, you saw the thick fog surrounding you, closing in ever so slowly. It was almost cruel, how slowly it was moving towards you, just stretching out the anticipation. Your breathing was labored, your head feeling light. You should’ve called the boys, but even at your lowest point, you couldn’t put down your stubborn ways.

You were about to bite the bullet and just call when you noticed the fog had stopped. Looking down, it paused at the circle of salt, wrapping around and searching for a crack. You sighed heavily, rubbing your face in relief.

“Well,” you muttered to yourself. “Looks like I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.”

~~~

Luckily, when you woke up the fog was gone, but that didn’t stop you from taking a few hours to leave the safety of the salt ring. Eventually, your stomach yelled at you to brave the kitchen. The smell from the night before remained, making you gag. As you peered into the fridge you noticed all perishables were moldy, even the freshest stuff. You scavenged the cabinets, and the only thing you could find that wasn’t decomposing before your eyes was a box of crackers. It would have to do.

You ran to the bedroom, grabbing your laptop and some more practical, possible-hunt clothes, shamelessly returning to your hideout on the couch as fast as possible. You knew it wasn’t “professional” (was that even a thing when it came to hunting?) but you resorted to google. It wasn’t like you were getting very far with the bunker’s resources anyway.

Nothing for fog monsters fit, neither for car accident monsters. You went through every possible wording of your situation and nada. With a jaded sigh, you attempted one last useless search; rotten food monster. It was laughable, but it was all you had left. Of course, nothing grand came up instantly, but you did look through some online food forums, just for the hell of it. You were ready to give up, but then you read the latest comment.

The potato rot has been increasingly bad for me as well. It has been quite foggy in Ireland lately, perhaps I’ve got the Fear Liath after me!

You read the line over and over. It couldn’t be a coincidence. Entering in the name she had used, you miraculously found some leads at last. The Fear Liath, or The Grey Man as he was more casually called, originated in Irish and Scottish folk lore. He was an omen, known for causing wrecks. It was all there; the rotting food, the foggy figure, the car crashes. You had finally found your monster. Now; how to kill the thing.

It was considered a fairy, so the salt and iron knife were key, but not so much on the holy water. Still, you didn’t think you could exactly stab the thing, not without being able to see within the fog. There had to be a way. Fifteen pages into Google later, you finally found something.

“The Grey Man was once considered a God until the surge of Christianity demoted him to fae. He is said to be bitter about it still, his wrath falling particularly hard on those with religious affiliation.” You were friends with an angel, after all. “If you feel The Grey Man is haunting you, get him off your back with a simple Christian prayer. The more iron crosses, the better.”

It seemed way too simple, but what options did you have? With a deep breath, you emerged from your salt circle, grabbing the few iron crosses from the walls. You looked up the first prayer you could think of, holding your phone and the crosses in a death grip as you left the bunker. You hadn’t thought about how you’d get him to come back, but you didn’t have to worry long. The same panic washed over you once more, the fog moving in slowly towards you. You swallowed, seeing the outline of The Grey Man within. You held up the crosses, spitting out the prayer as fast as you could. The fog slowly dissipated as you did, but the figure still remained. Why were these damn prayers so long? You tripped over the words as he got closer and closer, the blood rushing to your head, making it difficult to even see the words on your phone. The closer he got, the more intense the panic became. Finally, you reached the end of the prayer.

You looked up reluctantly, watching as the fog continued to dissipate into weak wisps, the figure within blending out as well. You heard a pained scream come from within the fog, so loud you covered your ears, taking a few steps back. With one more scream, the fog seemed to explode, completely dispersing. You took a few moments to breathe, watching for any other signs of him. As the panic subsided entirely, you felt sure that you had done it. First case down.

You smiled to yourself, letting out a shocked laugh. You did it, all by yourself, on something as ambiguous as a fog monster. You felt on top of the world, dropping off the crosses and grabbing your keys from the bunker. You drove to a dive bar not far from the bunker, feeling the need for a celebratory drink. You usually left the drinking to Dean, but after the anxiety of the last few days, you felt you deserved it. You no more than parked when your phone began to ring. Sam. You answered in a cheerful tone, finding it difficult not to gloat right then and there.

“Hey baby, what’s up?”

“Y/n,” he said, his voice thick. Your eyebrows pulled together.

“Are you crying? What’s going on?” You revved your engine, tearing back onto the road without second thought. That was a no on the drink, you guessed.

“There’s…there’s so many of them. They have Dean. I’ve called every hunter I can think of, no one’s picking up. Not even Cas.” It was the first time you’d ever heard Sam so scared; he hardly ever showed it when he was.

“Send me the address,” you said. “I’m on my way.”

~~~

You drove past some old building’s parking lot. While abandoned, there were plenty of cars parked. You continued on, parking on the side of the street where you saw the Impala. He had parked near a cornfield, the high stalks hiding both of you from any peering eyes. You hopped out the car, running into Sam’s arms as he leaned against the Impala.

“Oh Y/n,” he murmured, his voice muffled as he nuzzled into your neck. “I’m so sorry I had to bring you into this.”

“Stop it,” you said, pulling back slightly. You patted his cheek, looking him in the eyes. “I’d do anything for both of you. I’m glad you’re finally letting me help.” He swallowed, obviously not as glad as you. You grabbed the keys from his hand, opening up the trunk and grabbing two machetes. You handed one to him.

“Let’s do this, shall we?” He nodded, leading the way towards the creepy building.

~~~

You stood, hunched over, taking a moment to catch your breath. They were finally all dead, all the vamps wiped from existence. Somewhere amidst the chaos, you and Sam split up, which was a notoriously bad idea. You went through the rooms of the building tentatively, worried about a last-minute ambush. It seemed all the vamps were truly dead, because you were confronted by a copious amount of blood on the floor, and no one was on their knees with a straw. The only two people in the room were Sam and Dean, Sam only the floor, unconscious.

“Sam!” You were by him in an instant, feeling his pulse and pushing the hair from his face. “C’mon baby, talk to me.” Unintelligible mumbles. You looked to Dean for guidance. You knew how to deal with killing vamps, researching, hunting, but you had no clue how to deal with this. Dean looked just as panicked, which did little to comfort. In a moment of clarity and pure adrenaline, you realized you needed to move, and quick.

“Let’s carry him,” you demanded, standing and grabbing one of his arms. Dean followed suit, no questions asked. He looked pretty rough around the edges himself, but you could hardly think about anything but Sam.

“We need to hurry,” Dean said, more to himself than anything. You nodded.

“Yeah,” you replied. “Because I’m not losing him.”

“You and me both, Y/n.”

~~~

At long last, Sam’s eye fluttered open. Your heart sped, so thankful to see those pretty eyes again. You stood from your uncomfortable chair and moved to him, stroking his hair mindlessly. You hated hospitals with all your might, but you’d live there if it meant being with Sam.

“Hi baby,” he coughed, his voice raspy. You shook your head.

“Don’t strain yourself,” you said, stroking his cheek. “Just get better.” He nodded, letting his eyes rest again. You sat on the edge of the hospital bed, the beeping from the machines around you becoming a comfortable lullaby. You held his hand, probably too tight, but you couldn’t let go. You just needed him, needed to know that he was okay.

“What happened doesn’t change anything,” he rasped, finally breaking the silence.

“What?”

“I still don’t want you hunting.” You laughed humorlessly, shaking your head.

“May I remind you, you’re the one in the hospital bed, not me? And that I’m the one who saved both your ass and Dean’s?”

“I know,” he groaned. “And I know you’ll hold that over my head forever. But I won’t risk you being in my spot.”

“You know, I solved a whole case on my own while you were gone,” you said, reveling in your own glory once more. You even shimmied a bit. The beeping on the monitor increased exponentially.

“What?” His panic was evident, somehow making him look even paler. Suddenly, you didn’t feel as proud. With the look on Sam’s face…you almost felt ashamed. You weighed your options; that case was supposed to be your proving point, the evidence to show you could handle the life. With the condition that he was in and his constant doting over you, you were afraid the news might break him. You shook your head, faking a laugh.

“I’m kidding, dufus.” He rolled his eyes, smiling in relief.

“Good, because then I’d have to kill you, and I’d never be able to leave you alone again.” he joked, though there was a serious note to his voice. It was only partly a joke, and you both knew it.

“Hmm, I don’t know. That sounds pretty nice to me. You know, minus the killing part, of course.”

He scoffed, looking at your intertwined hands for a moment. His expression softened, his eyes glazing over slightly. He held them up.

“You see this? Us?” he said. You nodded. “I don’t want to lose this. I can’t.” You sighed. A few days before, you would have debated with him to hell and back, but after seeing Sam in pain… you were tempted to stop him from hunting. You looked out the window, thinking. It couldn’t be dropped; you were dating a hunter, living in a hunter info hub, and friends with an angel. This life was your life now, whether Sam liked it or not. But then you thought back to those nights alone, how terrified and unsure you were. It definitely wasn’t as thrilling as you’d imagined.

“Alright,” you murmured, looking him in the eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. We’ll take baby steps.”

“Baby steps?” He raised an eyebrow, a subtle smirk forming on his lips. He always loved your little deals.

“Yeah. You know, there’s no need to become a full-on hunter at once. I just ask that you let me tag along and help when I can.” You smiled, flitting your eyelashes at him. “Deal?” He groaned, but nodded.

“How am I supposed to say no to that face?” You giggled, leaning down to kiss him. His hand cupped your jaw, both of you smiling into the kiss. “But I still might never leave you alone again. You know, just for…safe keeping.”

“I’ll allow it,” you relented, lying beside him in the bed. You rested your hand on his chest, just thankful to still feel a beat. No matter what, you could never lose that.

~~~~~~~

It’s late so I’m adding Michelle’s and the Pond’s tags later

Forever and Sam Tags:

#SPN HWC - WEEK 10 #SPN HIATUS WRITING CHALLENGE 2017 #sisterhood of sam challenge #sos rejects challenge #sam winchester #sam x reader #trashyfamilynet #mattcohenssspnfam #sinnerfam #octospnfam #astralisfam #princesscasfam #jenmishfam #ultravioletcasfam #stardustfam #mishacollinsappreciationnet

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winsync · 8 years ago

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totally (un)necessary gifs of dean winchester [1/ ᢁ ]

#righteousman #radioactivedean #mattcohenssspnfam #stardustsam #spnedit #yes this is happening #3x08 #3.08 #dean winchester #*#dean*#gifsofdean #500

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crowleysfangs · 8 years ago

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“He’s already begun to forget himself! Everyone he’s ever known, ever loved. Even you.”

Maybe not just yet, Rowena.

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mattcohenss · 8 years ago

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help me pay for university!

https://www.youcaring.com/jacklyne-martin-575596

im not sure if any of you remember, but i did something like this last year. i didn’t end up going to university last year for various reasons (if you sent money then, the money is still saved so do not worry!), but i’m starting university in september 2017 and i need some help.

i live in a low income household with my mom and i’m currently working a full time job that’s giving me no hours. the university i want to go to is five hours away from my hometown so i will have to live in residence, buy groceries, do laundry, pay for transportation, etc. including the costs of attending university.

the thought is coming to my head that i won’t be able to afford all of this and i will be in debt for my entire life. i’ve been applying for scholarships with no avail. so i decided to do this. to ask for help. and i hate doing this, but i don’t know what else to do.

my paypal account is open, so if any of you choose to send me money, it will go directly there. i do not use my paypal account for anything and it’s strictly there to help me save money for university.

please don’t feel obligated to do anything. i don’t want it to seem like im using the internet to my advantage, i just don’t know what else to do.

if you can’t donate, please reblog this post to signal boost it.

you can send money at https://www.youcaring.com/jacklyne-martin-575596 or paypal.me/jacklynemartin

thank you and i’m sorry i’m trash. tumblr is my family, and i need help.

#signal boost #mattcohenssspnfam #princesscasfam #snacklesfamily #adorablecocklesnet #protectj2net #j2supportnetwork

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sharaabeys · 8 years ago

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Supernatural Aesthetic Series // Characters: ↳"I'm bloody Crowley! I'm the King of Hell. I do what I want, when I want, and I don't take orders from you."

#crowleyedit #spnedit #snacklesfamily #mattcohenssspnfam #crowley #spn #!mine

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blueeyesbrokenwings · 8 years ago

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Cas/Misha blogs?

Hey guys! Now that school’s back, I’m (not) surprisingly even /more/ active than I was over break and looking for more blogs to follow!

Reblog this if you post a lot of Cas/Misha and maybe tell me a little bit about yourself in the tags?

#Supernatural #Castiel #Misha Collins #willingfamilynet #tequilasfamily #mattcohenssspnfam #brotherlyfam #themegacoven

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sophrosynnee · 9 years ago

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you know we're on season 12 and I feel a little empty inside because I still don't know Sam or Dean's middle name

#Sam Winchester #dean winchester #snacklesfamily #mattcohenssspnfam #amaralovenet #supernatural #season 12 #s12 #spn

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padaprecious · 9 years ago

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I'm new to the spn tumblr fandom and I'm looking for some blogs to follow! so like this and I'll check your blog out :)

#supernatural #mattcohenssspnfam

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stcrwarss · 9 years ago

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It’s that time again!! Rules: Gotta follow sinner #1 and sinner #2 Reblog to enter 30 notes or this never happened 1 winner and 1-2 runner ups depending on notes Ends on May 5th Categories: Best url Best blog Best spn Best multifandom Best sidebar Best posts Friendliest blogger Favorite blogger Prizes: Winners: unlimited promos upon request in the month of May, an icon set and/or fic/drabble from ris. Plus our love and friendship. And +f. Runner ups: 3 promos upon request in the month of May. A drabble/fic from ris. Our love and friendship. And +f.

#mattcohenssspnfam #rimmingdeannet #snacklesfamily #adorablecocklesnet #destielhsaunet #leviathnfamily #bbymishfam #rockstarjensenappreciationnet #tequilasfamily #twinkjensennet #deans-colette

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deansleather · 8 years ago

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Come Home

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Prompt(s): “Don’t listen to them. Don’t you EVER listen to them” for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing hiatus challenge week 9, “You, me, and Sam. We’re just better together” for @spnhiatuscreations week 9, and “Post Break Up Kiss - The kiss that catches both of you off guard, but says I miss you, I’m sorry and please love me again all at once without any words being spoken” for my XOXO prompt series

Summary: After the trauma from some time spent in Hell, you hide within yourself, running from your only family: Dean, Sam, and Cas. As you slowly return, you see just how much you love the boys, and just how much they need you back.

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 2515

Warnings: angst, later on fluff, intrusive thoughts, trauma/PTSD from experience in Hell (literally)

A/N: I’m quite proud of the prose in this one, hope you enjoy it like I do! As always, FEEDBACK IS LOVED AND NEEDED!

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“Trauma is personal. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.” ― Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals

The snow fell to the ground in thick tufts, you barreling through it as fiercely as possible. You hated looking so haggard, but you could hardly help it; your back was hunched, your face tear stained, the cold weather not the only thing chilling you as you shivered. It felt as though your organs were frozen solid, particularly the one who decided to be sensitive so often, who wouldn’t just piece itself together already after being shattered. Frozen was better than heartbroken, though, the numbness a gift after the months of constant throbbing.

Why were you in Kansas, and why anywhere near the bunker? You knew, and yet at the same time didn’t. Simply put, you missed your family. After joining the hunting life, Sam, Dean, and Cas were your only family, blood or not. You missed those late-night conversations with Sam, hunched over piles and piles of books you were both overwhelmed by, though neither of you would admit it. He’d tell you about his goals before hunting, his favorite hobbies when he managed to scrounge up some free time, the best book he ever read besides lore. It was nice, just you and Sam mulling over cups of coffee and ancient texts, finding a way to have normal conversation amidst the abnormality.

Then, of course, there was Cas. Intelligent yet naïve, strong yet soft, caring yet unstoppable. He inspired you. He comforted you. He never let you suffer, at least not when he knew you were. Cas was a damn good friend and supported you in times where you could hardly stand yourself enough to save you. Most of all though, there was Dean.

Chills ran up and down your body as you thought the name, the first time you managed to do so without breaking down in months. The gravel road beneath your feet made your heart race, knowing you would soon be reaching the man with that name all too soon.

Your moments with Dean were innumerable, some more difficult to describe their significance than others. The way he’d say I love you in public, something he’d never done with anyone. How he’d kiss your forehead, tender and slow, and in those moments, you’d feel more healed than when Cas used his angel powers. Those many nights lying in bed, naked and exhausted, beside each other in silence as you just looked into each other’s eyes, no words needed. God dammit. The pain in your chest was coming back, so you quickly pushed away those thoughts. If you went much deeper, you were afraid you’d run straight into his arms again, just for the chance to nuzzle your face in his neck and feel his strong arms wrapping you close to him once more.

You had been trailing them for days, making sure they’d be staying near the bunker for a little bit. You just needed to see them, know that they were alright, that they hadn’t died with no one telling you. Planning to leave immediately after seeing them, your plans were almost instantly foiled. Watching them did more than soothe your paranoia, it comforted you in ways you hated to admit. Without them, you were all alone, and that scared the hell out of you.

You thought about giving in to the sensation, wanting so badly to regroup and fall back into your strangely comfortable routine with them, but the voices would just pipe right back up. Yelling, insisting, scratching at the inside of your head, they only went away when you were distanced from the boys. Dean somehow managed to leave Hell generally unscathed, and physically you did too, but the taunts from so much pain in the pit stuck in your mind. You were trapped there for much longer than Dean ever was, some rogue demon forming a vendetta against you and the boys, latching onto whoever he could and dragging them to Hell with him. Obviously, you were eventually rescued, but not for many months, the equivalent to nearly a decade in the fiery place.

The gravel became denser beneath you, making your breathing hitch. Looking up from your feet, you finally saw it; the bunker’s entrance, right there, a welcome and foreboding sight. The closer you got, the louder the thoughts shouted in your mind. Stay away. You only drag them down. You’ll be the one with blood on your hands if they die.

You moved into the trees as your hands clasped at your head, worried someone might exit the bunker and find you in your traumatized state. You were one hell of a hunter before all this had happened, and even when you remembered all the times you saved their asses, the taunts from so many demons remained in your mind. How could you risk it? How selfish would it be to “test the waters” and end up getting the only people in the world you loved killed?

You finally managed to calm your breathing as you vehemently decided to not attempt an entrance. There would be no reunion, they would never know you were there. Even so, you wished they would come out of the bunker, just for a moment. Seeing your old home was nice and all, but it was them that really warmed you. It was as though someone had heard your wish, as ironically enough they all came out, Sam, Dean, and Cas. Though not in the way you had expected.

Sam and Dean had their guns raised, looking around at the surrounding forest. You nestled deeper into your hiding spot. Cas observed the leafless trees, analyzing his surroundings with squinty eyes, and you almost smiled at the sight. God, you missed them so much. Guns blazing and all, it was nice to see them. Of course, you quickly got to thinking about their paranoia, and your heart thudded as you checked the forest around you. What were they looking for? Cas searched around, closing his eyes before pointing the boys towards a particularly thick grouping of trees, right where you stood. You swallowed.

“Alright, you son of a bitch,” Dean yelled out, grimacing. “Come on out.”

You remained still.

“You’ve been tailing us non-stop these last few days; don’t you want to say hello?” he jeered. You took a few deep breaths, contemplating your next move. There was no running, especially not with Cas there. They’d eventually come searching into the greenery, and you really hated the idea of forest hide and seek. With an extremely defeated sigh, you stepped out into the clearing. They all froze, staring at you with a mixture of shock and relief.

“Y/n,” Sam sighed, the smile evidence of his joy. Slowly, he walked up to you, wrapping his arms around you gently, watching your every reaction to make sure you were comfortable. “We’ve missed you so much.” Tentatively, you returned the hug, grateful that Sam was so amicable.

“I’ve missed you guys,” you expressed, pulling away after a moment. “More than you’ll ever know. But I need to go.” Sam grabbed onto your wrist, holding onto you as you began to walk away. You glared at him.

“Why have you been following us? Did you walk here?” he insisted, Cas and Dean remaining willfully silent. You dared a peek back at them, your stomach flipping. Cas was just an innocent onlooker, but Dean stood stoically, his chin jutted out and his teeth grinding. You quickly looked back to Sam.

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed,” you explained, tugging your wrist away. “But I seriously need to go now, Sam. Good to see you.”

“Y/n,” Dean’s firm voice called out, making your heart jump. Reluctantly, you met his gaze, Sam stepping out of the way as Dean approached. He looked you directly in the eyes, pointing a finger at you, emphasizing every word. “After all we’ve been through, we deserve an explanation. Especially me.” The edge in his voice made you flinch, looking to Sam and Cas in vain for help. Sam swallowed, walking to Cas and patting his shoulder.

“C’mon Cas,” Sam murmured. “Let’s give them a minute.” Cas nodded, calling to you before following Sam into the bunker.

“No matter what happens out here, I really hope to see you inside.”

With that, they were gone, slipping inside the bunker without another word. The time you had dreaded for so long was finally upon you; facing Dean. You closed your eyes, letting the cold air burn your lungs as you took in heavy gulps. It was a welcome distraction.

“Y/n, why?” Dean whispered, his voice cracking even with his low tone. You opened your eyes, feeling as though you were stabbed when you saw the tears in his eyes. He was only ever this vulnerable around you, and you hated that you had to stomp all over it.

“I can’t stay here, anymore Dean,” you replied simply, your voice scratchy from lack of communication. He shook his head, stepping even closer to you.

“We can move, no one says we have to live in the bunker-“

“That’s not it,” you sighed, rubbing your temples.

“Then what is it, Y/n? What is it…did I do something to hurt you?” he asked, his bottom lips quivering. Your face crinkled, seeing him so distraught killing you. His eyes were such a bright green normally, they became almost neon when he cried. His pink lips were nearly red, and his freckles were out and proud despite the lack of sun. You shook your head.

“No, Dean, no, no, no,” you insisted fervently. “I just can’t risk it.”

“Risk what?”

“Being the one that gets any of you killed.” He was completely taken off guard by this, blinking and staring at you strangely.

“Y/n, why would you get us killed?” You just shook your head once more. After a moment, he nodded, a newfound understanding washing over him. “It’s because of Hell, isn’t it? Sweetheart, you weren’t there long enough to become a demon.” He began to place his hands on your shoulders, but you roughly shoved them off.

“But long enough for their voices to stick in my head,” you sneered, hugging yourself as you took a step back. Dean’s expression became sad, nodding as he sympathized.

“I know,” he breathed. “It’s been all this time and I still wake up sometimes and am shocked that I’m not tied up.” You swallowed, looking up at him hesitantly.

“Yeah, well you don’t have them still screaming at you, do you?” You intended to snap at him, but your voice came out much frailer than you’d expected.

“No,” he relented, putting out his arms. “But we would have helped you, Y/n. We’re family; Cas, you, me, and Sam. We’re just better together.”

“I know,” you admitted, stifling a sob. “I don’t want to stay away, Dean. I miss you so much it hurts, but every time I get close, they start yelling at me all over again, and what they say…I won’t let it happen.”

“What do they say?” he pressed softly, taking a gentle step closer. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself so you could say the words without breaking.

“That I’m holding you guys back. That if I keep pretending I’m some strong hunter, I’ll be the reason you all die. That your lives are happier without me, and I’m selfish for taking that away.” You stopped, the words washing over you and almost making you double over. Dean caught you in his arms, keeping you upright as he looked into your eyes.

“Don’t listen to them. Don’t you ever listen to them,” he insisted, his voice stern yet laced with love. “You belong here, with us. None of us have relaxed without you, we’ve trailed you and dug into all your aliases. All we’ve wanted was for you to come back home.” You didn’t even realize you were crying until he wiped a tear away, kissing your forehead in that way you loved, warming you from the inside out. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. You went through Hell for us, Y/n, the least we can do is help you now that you’re out.”

“Oh, Dean,” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. He quickly reciprocated the hug, nuzzling his face into your shoulder as he lifted you off the ground. You did the same, finally smelling the mix of leather, cheap cologne, mint, and beer that you’d missed so much. He was so warm and firm, his arms entirely supporting you as you sank into him.

His hair was longer than usual, overall just more ungroomed than you’d remembered, but he was your Dean. You kissed up and down his neck, tracing his jaw with your lips. You pecked the side of his mouth, looking into his eyes before letting yours flutter shut, your lips colliding in the kiss you had needed for so long. Though no words were spoken, it felt like everything was communicated through that kiss. You were so scared, but you loved him, loved all of them, and wanted to come back home. He was frustrated with you but missed you more than words could express, and just wanted you to stay with him. Somehow, with his lips on yours, the voices silenced, the only moment of true bliss you’d had since returning to Earth. As you pulled away, Dean bent down and grabbed your legs, picking you up bridal style.

“C’mon,” he murmured. “Let’s get you inside.”

~~~

You wore one of Dean’s big trees and some shorts, your hair pulled away from your face as you sat on the couch with Sam, Dean, and Cas. Dean had turned on Game of Thrones and then ensued a lasting debate about characters with Sam. Usually, you’d tell them to stop bickering, but it was a great way to fill in all that you’d missed. You looked at Cas with a smirk, rolling your eyes at them; some things never changed. He smiled back, looking you up and down.

“I’m so glad you decided to stay, Y/n,” he admitted, his voice low. “It hasn’t been the same without you.”

You smiled, giving him a light hug. It had only been a few hours since you’d entered the bunker, but you already felt like a new person. You’d showered, ate, napped, and were now sitting next to your family of misfits, beer in hand as you tried to hear the TV over the brothers’ debating. As chaotic as it seemed, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Later that night, you crawled in bed beside Dean, just kissing and holding each other. Neither of you could sleep; Dean worried you’d disappear again, you worried the voices might come back once you slept. Eventually, you both did find a way to doze off, warm and safe in each other’s arms. For the first time since you were dragged to Hell, you rested. You knew you had a long while until you were truly well again, but damn did it feel good to start healing.

~~~~~~

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deansleather · 8 years ago

Text

Give Me Love

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Prompt: “You’re supposed to talk me out of this” for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing ‘s Hiatus Challenge Week 4. Also for @thevioletthourr ‘s Milestone Challenge with the prompt of Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran.

Summary: You’ve always been head over heels for Dean, but acting upon it always seemed fruitless That is, until Father’s Day comes around and you realize Dean still does need love, more than you may know.

Word Count: 2259

Warnings: angst and then fluff, I just really love comfort fics okay, Father’s Day blues

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

A/N: Here’s to anyone without a Dad today; you’re still loved no matter what. I hope everyone enjoys this fic, I really do. As always, FEEDBACK IS ADORED! EVEN JUST A LIKE HELPS!

“Give me love like never before, /'Cause lately I've been craving more, /And it's been a while but I still feel the same, /Maybe I should let you go, /You know I'll fight my corner, /And that tonight I'll call ya, /After my blood is drowning in alcohol, /No, I just wanna hold ya.”

Give Me Love- Ed Sheeran

You made your final round throughout the bunker, scanning all the rooms, relocking the doors and windows, checking to make sure all the protective symbols were intact. Sam and Dean assured you every night that they would know if something was wrong, but you’d seen their plans fall through too many times and loved them too much to risk it.

Finally, confident in your safety (at least, as safe as one could be when around the Winchesters), you entered into the library, the long wooden table not as lonely as you had expected. Dean sat, empty beer in hand, another empty bottle set sideways on the table. You hovered next to the doorframe for a moment, Dean not yet noticing you. He seemed…sad. It wasn’t a word you normally associated with Dean’s appearance; there was no question in your mind at his inner turmoil, but he hardly ever let that rough exterior slip, even when alone. Sad or not, he looked beautiful. You had always adored the older Winchester, even before you started hunting with them. You used to know them in passing, once in a blue moon you’d catch each other on the same case or passing through the same town, but that was rare. Still, he seemed to steal your heart the moment he introduced himself. But you had seen Dean around women he liked; he was by no means shy. To your immediate disappointment, he didn’t flirt with you when he met you, and he hadn’t since that day. No matter your feelings for him, it wasn’t fair to throw yourself at him when he didn’t want you, not for you or him.

Still, you hesitated. It wasn’t often that you and Dean had a chance to be alone together and even when you weren’t alone, he still made you nervous as hell. He was snarky and sarcastic and at times just plain cold, but those traits seemed prohibited when it came to you. To you he was gentle; that was the only word you could think of. His voice was always so soft when addressing you and anytime that he touched you, which sadly wasn’t often, he treated you like a fragile artifact. You wondered if that meant something, but you doubted it was anything good. Perhaps he thought down on you, or that you were too weak to handle the “real” Dean, if that’s what you could even call how he behaved normally. You couldn’t tell and that was precisely the problem; he was too much of a loose cannon with possession of too much of your heart.

You amped yourself up enough to walk in; you were a lot braver than you looked, whether he knew it or not. Wordlessly, you grabbed the bottles, including the one in his hand. He looked up to you, startled, but you just continued into the kitchen, tossing the bottles into the trash with a loud clink. You grabbed two more beers, returning to your unrequited love and setting one before him. He smirked at you, opening it on the edge of the table as you took a seat across from him.

“You’re supposed to talk me out of this,” he teased half-heartedly. “Not join in on my vices”

“Well,” you murmured, your voice cracking from not talking for so long. There had been a drought in cases, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it had all of you on edge. You just stayed in your room, rummaging through every news site on the internet looking for anything unusual. “I’m not much of a saint either, you know.”

He rolled his eyes. “Please.”

You glared at him, but said nothing, continuing to nurse your beer thoughtfully. The room was filled with a comfortable silence as you mulled over him. He did the same to you, causing a slight blush to form over you, but you held the eye contact for as long as you could manage. He was so beautiful and it had been quite some time since you’d found anyone attractive, let alone another hunter. He was stunning, truly; the stupidly green eyes, the ridiculously tempting lips, the muscles of his arms that flexed just right in his current t-shirt. He was annoyingly, distractingly, and undoubtedly attractive, and yet you just couldn’t have him. It was all very dramatic, but what wasn’t in your lives?

“So, what’s going on with you?” you finally asked, your heart racing as you rested your elbows on the table similarly to him, your faces the closest they’d ever been. Just friends, Y/n, you’re just friends. He feigned confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I have eyes, Dean,” you quipped, raising an eyebrow. “Besides, I know you better than you probably know yourself at this point. Something’s up.” He shrugged, swallowing. You sighed, standing up with plans to sit beside him. He grabbed at your wrist, his eyes wide as they looked up to you pleadingly.

“Don’t go, Y/n, please,” he whispered, his voice scratchy. You looked at his hand around your wrist; even though it didn’t hurt in the slightest, it was still the roughest and most forward he’d ever been with you. He quickly retracted his hand, looking down at the table. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s up with me.”

You nodded, slowly making your way beside him. You scooched your chair so your arms were touching as you sat, the contact warm and strangely comforting. You took a sip of your beer and he did the same, though his was probably a bit more than a sip. You crinkled your eyebrows, thinking deeply as you stared at your bottle. Dean being visibly upset was practically his natural state, but not in this way, never upset to the degree of asking for someone, especially you. You wondered if he’d had more beer than what the number of bottles suggested. Suddenly, it hit you. You knew exactly what was wrong; nothing had happened that wasn’t normal, in fact it was an annual thing.

“It’s because of Father’s Day, isn’t it?” you murmured, turning your head to look at his profile. His eyes remained glued to his bottle as he shrugged. You nodded, taking that as a yes. Well, what do you even say to that? If anyone in the world had reason to be sad on Father’s Day, Dean Winchester was definitely one of them. It was always hard to talk about John with Dean; from everything you’d been told about him, you weren’t too fond. Yet Dean still held John on this pedestal, years after his demise. You sighed, clearing your throat as you did your best to comfort him, treading lightly as possible.

“You know, Father’s Day is probably one of the shittiest ‘holidays’ ever made,” you stated in monotone. He laughed at this, the sides of his eyes crinkling in that way you loved. With this as a confidence boost, you continued. “I’m serious! It’s a slap to anyone without a dad, or at least a good one, and just strange to anyone with one. Shouldn’t everyday be a day to love and appreciate the family you got? It’s like Valentine’s Day, useless and more condescending than enjoyable.” He raised his bottle, and you met him for cheers.

“Yeah,” he nodded, swallowing some more of his drink. “Still doesn’t change what it reminds me of.”

You gave him a soft smile, so tempted to rub his back or scratch his head or anything just to touch and comfort him. But you were just friends. Just friends, Y/n.

“Do you have any good memories from Father’s Days?” you pressed, hoping that maybe some happy memories would come up.

“Nah,” he shook his head. “Dad was always gone on some hunt. And Bobby, well he never felt right for claiming the day as his own, even though he was probably a better dad than mine ever could be.”

Your eyes widened at the words. You had never heard Dean say anything even slightly slanderous against his father. You were glad to have him more open than usual, you wanted nothing more than for him to actually talk to you. Not Dean’s façade, but the real Dean and you, alone, having a real conversation.

“Well, tell me about Bobby then?” He smiled slightly at the prompt, his lips curling as he laughed to himself.

“Oh, how to describe Bobby. He was… gruff. He lived in a salvage yard and he was our father, mother and researcher all combined into one for most of our lives. He was a good man, Y/n, one of the best I’ve ever met. He didn’t deserve to die. And neither did my dad, even with his faults. They both just did the best that they could; that’s more than I can say for myself sometimes.”

You shook your head, your lips pursing slightly.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Dean,” you grumbled, your eyes tearing up with passion. “You’ve done things for others that you couldn’t pay people to do. You’re a good man, Dean, and a good hunter, and a damn good friend to have by your side. If he had any sense at all, your dad would be the proudest man on Earth.”

You could’ve kept going, but stopped once you looked to Dean. Tears streamed continually down his face, his lips quivering at your words. You set your bottle down, grabbing his from his hand and setting it aside as well. He looked at you strangely.

“C’mere,” you demanded, wrapping your arms around his neck. He wavered for a moment, before his arms came to wrap around your waist. “I love you.”

You gasped at your own words, quickly pulling back from the hug and beginning to mutter your apologies. Dean’s arms remained your waist though, keeping you as close as possible in your separate chairs. You quieted when you saw his face, a whole mixed bag of emotions. He wasn’t drunk after all; he was heartbroken. Yet, even amongst his grief, his eyes were wide and tender as they traveled over your features, landing on your lips. For a moment, his eyes flitted from your lips to your eyes, silently asking for permission. You nodded, leaning closer to his face. Taking a deep breath, he placed his lips on yours, both your eyes fluttering shut as you let the kiss deepen. His hands rubbed up and down your back, one reaching up to tangle into your hair. You kissed him passionately, like you had wanted to for so long. Your mind couldn’t even process your shock in that moment; all that mattered was that world-altering kiss. Your hands were wild as they explored everywhere they could on him: his hair, his jaw, his shoulders, his arms. This was what you had wanted for so very long, and he felt even better than you had imagined.

Finally, you both had to gasp for air, remaining in each other’s arms even then, your faces inches apart as you breathed the same air. He laughed slightly, the tears gone from his face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he said, the joy evident in his tone. You blushed.

“Really?” you smiled shyly. He nodded, his expression becoming serious.

“Did you mean it, what you said?” Dean whispered, his eyes once more staring at your lips.

You were afraid of your voice’s strength, so you just nodded, fear forming in your stomach at what his reaction may be. He sighed in relief.

“And you have no clue how long I’ve wanted to hear that from you.”

Your heart raced at the sentiment, tears popping into your eyes.

“I can’t express how long I’ve felt it,” you admitted, the vulnerability not nearly as painful as you had expected. He smiled, stroking your cheek tenderly.

“You know, I’ve never done this with a girl before,” he muttered.

“What?” you asked. He took a deep breath, looking you right in the eyes.

“I love you too, Y/n.” You let your muscles entirely untense, throwing your arms around his neck once more. In the least graceful way possible, Dean managed to scooch you over to his chair, placing you so you were straddling him as best you could in the tight space. You smiled softly, his hands always stroking some part of you, whether it be your cheek or hair or waist, he couldn’t not feel you.

“I’m exhausted,” he admitted, looking to the hallway where your bedrooms lied. He looked back to you hopefully. “Stay with me? Not in a weird way, just a-“

You kissed him midsentence, sighing in content. You pulled back after a moment, curling your lips into a lazy smile.

“Always, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.” He nodded thankfully, picking you up and carrying you into his room. He laid beside you in his bed, tentatively wrapping his arms around you. You snuggled in closer to him, and he tightened his grip on you. Both you and Dean quickly fell asleep, feeling the safest and most loved you had in ages. Neither of your lives were perfect, but you had each other, and somehow that made up for the rest.

~~~~~~~~~

Forever+Dean Tags, Michelle’s Dean Tags, Pond’s Dean Tags:

@jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsam @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @peppermintbisexual @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby @keepcalmandcarryondean @thinkwritexpress-official @ruprecht0420 @My-Favorite-Fiction67 @liebemeineslebensx @jayankles @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @wildfirewinchester @beachy2014 @muliermalefici @mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @thinkwritexpress-official @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @ezauraemmaline @matteson-crazed @castielspahdehrah @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @deandoesthingstome @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @mrsjohnsmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @i-never-said-a-pilot @thewinchestielboys @supermoonpanda @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @fandommaniacx @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @samanddeanwinchester67 @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls @shortandlongstories @strange-inhumanity-blog @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @aprofoundbondwithdean @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @kayteonline @spnsimpleman @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @for-the-love-of-dean @winchesterfiesta @zanthiasplace @salvachesterhale @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @tia58 @sams-little-toy @deansleather @faegal04 @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @saving-things-hunting-family @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @i-dont-know-how-to-write @everyday-supernatural-af @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @supernatural-jackles @babypieandwhiskey @avasmommy224 @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings @mysaintsasinner @chelsea-winchester @spn-fan-girl-173 @besslincoln-bruh @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @revwinchester @klaineaholic @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @supernaturalismalife @pinknerdpanda @quiddy-writes @inmysparetime0 @hexparker @alangel1895 @atwistoffate @aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @nichelle-my-belle @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @salvachesterhale @whispersandwhiskerburn @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @frenchybell @frenchybell @scorpiongirl1 @for-the-love-of-dean @mysupernaturalfics @spn-fan-girl-173 @deandoesthingstome @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @fiveleaf @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @waywardjoy @mrswhozeewhatsis @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @kayteonline @supernatural-jackles @wevegotworktodo @ilovedean-spn2 @quiddy-writes @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @supermoonpanda @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @plaidstiel-wormstache @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @writingbeautifulmen @revwinchester @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @inmysparetime0 @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @bennyyh @clueless-gold @deanwinchesterxreader @melbelle45 @winchester-family-business

#fifi's milestone challenge #Fif’s Milestone Challenge #SPN HIATUS WRITING CHALLENGE 2017 #SPN HWC - WEEK 4 #dean winchester #trashyfamilynet #mattcohenssspnfam #stardustfam #ultravioletcasfam #astralisfam #princesscasfam #deathfam #sinnerfam #octospnfam #jenmishfam #mishacollinsappreciationnet

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deansleather · 8 years ago

Text

Memorial Day

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Summary: It’s the most perfect Memorial Day you could ever dream of but you can’t help but feel nervous; you have quite big news you’ve yet to share.

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 1337

Warnings: fluff! pure lovey fluff!

A/N: This is my first RPF Fic! Yay! Please go easy on me if I’ve messed up any of the real life details, but do let me know! I’ve been inspired by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing to try out a RPF fic, as Karina just writes them so magically. Of course, no hate to Daneel, simply an AU where you’re Jensen’s wife and she’s not. As always, FEEDBACK IS SO VERY VERY LOVED AND APPRECIATED, EVEN JUST A LIKE!

“Choose thoughts that give you the emotions of being alive and excited about life.”

― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

The air was crisp and fresh, the smell of barbecue and freshly mown grass wafting through the air. The sun was out in full blaze, warming your skin kindly; the pool water was freezing, and Jared and Misha just loved to push you in. You didn’t usually mind, but today it was a little tedious. Of course, you had been a lot testier as of late, but they couldn’t have known that or why. They would soon.

Memorial Day was never this picturesque, you had dreamed of this type of day off for years; surrounded by friends and family, delicious food, and your beautiful husband, Jensen, standing behind the grill with a beer bottle in his hand. He noticed you staring and winked, that flirty smirk that you adored coming over his lips. He wasn’t debonair suave by any means, but he was absolutely everything you wanted and more. He was perfect for you, and you for him. You blew a kiss back at him, laughing slightly at him in an apron. He initially wanted a chef’s hat to denote his job, but when it proved to be too hot for a full-blown summer’s day, he settled for the apron. It wasn’t often that you let him take over the reins of cooking, but you figured you deserved a little spoiling under the current circumstances. He was both ecstatic and suspicious when you handed him all the equipment.

“Finally believe I won’t burn the house down?” Jensen had quipped, his eyes sparkling as he looked over you. You shrugged.

“No, but I’m hoping you’ll prove me wrong.”

He just shook his head, laughing as he began to set up for the party. Everyone was coming; Jared and Misha, their entire families, Rob, Mark, Jeff, Jim, the whole gang. It wasn’t often that you could get everyone together at once; with shooting Supernatural and all their other creative hobbies, almost everyone was busied all the time. You had lucked out, and you were so unbelievably thankful. You wanted everyone to be there that day.

Now, you looked around adoringly at the quirky family of friends you had created. Genevieve sat next to you, talking about Odette non-stop. You loved every minute, and felt butterflies in your stomach as she went through the whole process of the pregnancy with you. Gen was made for motherhood- she barely looked tired at all, just entirely love drunk off the newborn baby in her arms. Jared was teasing Jensen near the grill, Mark and Rob were lounging and laughing as Misha told them another of his anecdotes, his arms flailing wildly as he did. In that moment, you felt so out of your body; this was your life, and it was everything you had ever wanted and more.

“Y/n,” Gen pursued, breaking you out of your haze. “Did you hear me?”

“Oh, sorry Gen,” you smiled. “Just a little lost in thought, that’s all.”

She squinted her eyes at you, a knowing smile on her lips. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Anything I should know about?”

You shrugged as nonchalantly as you could manage. “No, I don’t think so. Just particularly airy lately. What were you telling me?”

Gen nodded, looking to Jensen. “I asked what you and Jensen have planned, you know, with summer coming up?”

“I don’t know yet,” you said honestly. “There’s so much ahead of us, and I’m just excited to see where our life takes us.”

As you spoke, Jared approached the two of you, his tall stature shadowing you, giving you a welcome reprieve from the sun.

“Hey baby,” Gen said sweetly. “I was just about to get Odette out of the sun. Wanna come in with me?”

Jared smiled, bending to gather his daughter in his arms. “Sure, honey. Hey Y/n, Jensen said he wanted you.”

“Thanks Jared,” you said softly, your eyes looking over the family scene dreamily. As they walked off, you made your way to Jensen.

“Hey, hot mama,” Jensen called as you approached. “You look so good over there, I wanted to see up close.”

You grinned, melting into his arms as he shut the grill for a moment.

“Hmm, you can see me as close as you want,” you purred, holding onto his arms.

He laughed. “I might just have to take you up on that offer.”

He took a sip of his beer, clinking the head of it against your glass of water.

“Water? It’s your day off baby girl, you can relax,” Jensen said tenderly, stroking your side mindlessly. You loved when he did that; as if touching you was as natural as breathing to him.

Your heartbeat raised as you thought of your answer. Was this the right time? Jesus, maybe you should have planned something, like a big reveal. You always saw those floating through the internet, those sweet videos that always made you cry. Looking into Jensen’s eyes though, you knew that it wasn’t necessary. Jensen loved private moments between you two; he didn’t need the glitz and glamor, despite what may be assumed from his profession. He was the best man you had ever met, and you knew that no matter how you told him, he would just be happy to hear the words from your mouth.

“Well,” you murmured, swallowing. “I would, but I don’t want to hurt the baby.”

Jensen crinkled his eyes, confusion all over his features.

“Baby? What baby-“

You couldn’t help but giggle as you saw the realization come to him, turning into the biggest grin you had ever seen.

“Oh my god,” he laughed, his eyes tearing up. He held you gently by the waist, eyes looking at your stomach with wonder and love. “I-I can’t believe it. I’ve wanted this for so long.”

You nodded, wiping the tears from your eyes. “Me too baby, me too.”

He gathered you in his arms, swinging you back and forth slightly. He continued to laugh in disbelief, kissing you all over. The look in his eyes was priceless; he was like a little kid, his grin as large as it was on your wedding day.

“When should we tell everyone?” you asked, whispering gently in his ear.

“Tonight!”

You shook your head, still smiling softly. “It’s best to wait a little bit with these things, you know, just to make sure it sticks.”

He nodded seriously, pulling back from the hug to look you in the eyes.

“Oh, baby girl., this is amazing. I-I don’t have words.” With that, he pulled you in for a kiss, sweet and soft and tender. It was magic, that moment, like the entire world was turned off around you. All you could think of was his lips on yours, and the beautiful human you were making. That is, until the smell of burnt meat hit you. You pulled back, smirking. He was still looking at you dreamily.

“Jensen?” you murmured.

“Yeah, Y/n?”

“The steaks.”

His eyes widened as he quickly turned back to the grill, coughing slightly as he opened it.

“Well,” he said. “Guess it’s good we bought extra.”

“Here,” you said, pushing him away with your hip. “I think it’s best if I take over.”

“No, no, no,” he insisted, regaining his spot in front of the grill. “You’re cooking enough as it is.” He looked pointedly at your stomach.

“Oh, for goodness sake,” you laughed, but let him continue. Jared came up behind you, Odette still in his arms.

“Well Y/n,” he jibed, patting you on the back. “This is what you signed up for; how do you feel?”

You smiled, looking knowingly at Jensen as he tried to save whatever was scavenge-able from the grill.

“I feel…blessed,” you said simply, the word encompassing everything. You were blessed, and you were more thankful than you could ever express. No matter what came next, or what parenthood would turn out to be, you knew you were ready to take on anything, just so long as Jensen was by your side.

~~~~~~

I understand if RPF are not your thing! Feel free to let me know and I will take note of that!

My Forever Tags, Michelle’s Jensen Tags, Pond Jensen Tags:

@ellen-reincarnated1967 @manawhaat @growleytria @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @fandommaniacx @meganwinchester1999 @samanddeanwinchester67 @myfand0msandm0re @strange-inhumanity-blog @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @aprofoundbondwithdean @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @chrisatplay @faith-in-dean @for-the-love-of-dean @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @curliesallovertheplace @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @winchesters-princess @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @katnharper @impossible-box @sams-little-toy @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @i-dont-know-how-to-write @everyday-supernatural-af @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @supernatural-jackles @babypieandwhiskey @avasmommy224 @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings @chelsea-winchester @spn-fan-girl-173 @besslincoln-bruh @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @pinknerdpanda @quiddy-writes @inmysparetime0 @hexparker @aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @notnaturalanahi @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @scorpiongirl1 @for-the-love-of-dean @deandoesthingstome @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @curliesallovertheplace @captain-princess-rose @wevegotworktodo @quiddy-writes @babypieandwhiskey @samsgoddess @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @waywardjoy @chaos-and-the-calm67 @plaidstiel-wormstache @teamfreewill-imagine @writingbeautifulmen @oldfashioncdvillain @drarina1737 @ruined-by-destiel @chelsea-winchester @deals-with-demons @supernatural-jackles @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @clueless-gold @deanwinchesterxreader @jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsam @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @peppermintbisexual @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby (can’t tag you love) @keepcalmandcarryondean @theficlibrarium

#jensen ackles #jensen fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural rpf #jensen ackles fanfiction #mine #jenmishfam #sinnerfam #octospnfam #ultravioletcasfam #princesscasfam #trashyfamilynet #mattcohenssspnfam #deathfam #astralisfam #stardustfam #mishacollinsappreciationnet

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deansleather · 8 years ago

Text

I’m Here

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Prompt: Campfire for @fandomwritingchallenge ‘s June Fandom Writing Challenge (Supernatural Fandom). Also heavily inspired by this imagine.

Summary: After a draining night out, Castiel swoops in to offer you some much needed support and assurance.

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 1617

Warnings: FLUFF!! Insecure and socially stressed reader, loving+protective Cas, happy times!!

A/N: A very me-infused fic. I tend to be okay socially, but I can get down about myself around others. I hope this provides some comfort and support to anyone who’s felt the same (always know that my ask/message is open). This definitely isn’t to say you need someone to come into your life to fix those things, but we all need a little support from time to time. Of course, FEEDBACK IS SOOOO APPRECIATED! EVEN A LIKE MEANS A LOT!

“It was as if hope had appeared out of nowhere to settle beside her and it wasn't going anywhere, it wasn't going to desert her now.” ― Alice Hoffman

You watched the fire flicker to the sky mindlessly. Your face was close to the campfire, almost too close, as you rested your elbows on your knees, holding your head. You just felt so…heavy. You looked around at the smiling faces; everyone was so comfortable. How did they do it? Just communicate so seamlessly; whether it was your own insecurity or their misunderstanding, something always seemed to stand in the way of you enjoying yourself at social gatherings.

Marshmallows were brought out, it was time for smores. People were happy and laughing, all around you talking about their life and opening up to one another without hesitation. It was so much to swallow; you wanted to be a part of them, yet despised the idea of being like them. With a sigh, you grabbed a stick and a marshmallow, setting it just above the flames to brown. A friend of yours sat next to you, marshmallow and stick in hand.

“Hey, Y/n, how’re you?” they asked, entirely friendly.

“I’m doing good, yourself?”

“Good! Excited about smores.”

“Yeah, me too,” you nodded. And so it went; conversations about nothing, continuing into no friendship or deeper connection. It was exhausting, and not even for introverted reasons alone. You just wondered if you’d ever find that person who you could have real conversations with.

You ate your marshmallow, looking around at the other partygoers. They all were engaged with each other, not one person but you sitting silent. It felt wrong to be there, as though you were bringing down the harmony of the night. With a sad smile, you stood up.

“I think I’m gonna head home,” you announced softly, stretching to feign nonchalance.

“Aww, why?”

“It’s so early!”

“C’mon, Y/n, stay for a bit longer!”

You faked a laugh. “I would! But I have things to do tomorrow anyway, and I really need some sleep.”

With that, and a few more boos, you made your way home. It was hard to explain how you felt; they wanted you there, but no matter what you did, you couldn’t really be there. It was strange, but you felt best when you finally made it home. It was cold, so you turned up the heat. You put on the kettle and instantly put on some pajamas. Your hair was pulled back, your makeup off. You felt the most yourself you had all night.

Finally, you lied down in bed with some hot tea, closing your eyes in an attempt to calm yourself. You sipped your tea, reveling in the silence for a moment. Just as you set your tea on the night stand, you heard that ever-familiar whooshing sound. You looked up to discover Castiel standing there in all his glory, trench coat and all. You smiled softly.

“Hey, Cas. What’re you doing here?”

It was always good to see Cas. You had originally met when you had managed to inadvertently get yourself in the middle of a hunt. It wasn’t too traumatic, just a little shoving around by a demon that they were running after, but the black eyes still haunted you. As Sam and Dean continued after the demon, Cas stayed behind for a moment to check on you, heal all your wounds, and transport you to safety. He left once you were safe to join the boys, but checked on you continually since that day. Despite his many other distractions, he almost became your personal guardian angel, and you were always happy to see him. Though, you couldn’t say it was just for the safety that came with his presence; you weren’t shocked when he first explained his true form, he definitely looked angelic.

“I came to check on you earlier tonight,” he said gently. “I noticed you left your gathering abruptly; is everything alright?”

You nodded, curling your legs closer to your body so he had room to sit. Before he sat, he placed his coat on your vanity chair, an action you rarely saw him do. It was nice; maybe he was finally getting as comfortable around you as you were around him.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. No worries.” You smiled, but you could tell Cas saw right through it. Were you fine?

“Were the people being mean, Y/n?” Cas pressed, his tone continually gentle, as if he were afraid of breaking you. Tears came to your eyes, but you remained composed.

“No, no, no…that’s kind of the problem.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion, his eyes crinkling adorably. You shrugged, sighing softly.

“It’s hard to explain. It’s really not that big a deal, Cas,” you assured.

He shook his head. “Your comfort is always important, Y/n. Especially to me.”

You blushed at the sentiment, continuing reluctantly.

“Everyone was nice, I just get so caught up in my own head,” you expressed, looking down to your hands self-consciously. “I feel like I’m not funny enough or attractive enough or…just enough, and so I shouldn’t speak or even be there. I know it’s ridiculous. Everyone is usually so nice! That’s why I’m not asking for any sympathy, I know how silly this sounds.”

Tentatively, you looked back up at Cas after a moment of silence. He looked deep in thought as he stared at you intently. Your blush deepened. You reached up to push a piece of hair from your face, but Cas beat you to it, taking it and placing it softly behind your ear, still clearly pondering something.

“What?” you finally asked, anxiety building in your stomach at his questionable response.

“I’m trying to understand,” he admitted.

“I know, Cas, it really doesn’t make any sense-“

“Not for the reason you’ve stated.” Cas shakes his head. “If you’re feeling something, it is valid, there is no need to label it. I just can’t understand your reasoning.”

“For what?” You shook your head, now you becoming the befuddled one.

“Not funny? Not attractive? I just don’t understand how you’ve come to those conclusions. We’ve spent copious periods of time together, and not one word you’ve spoken has left me disappointed,” Cas spoke, practically to himself. You just started, feeling the pit in your stomach start to fill and ease.

“I-“ you began, but were quickly cut off once more.

“And you’re beautiful. Undeniably so. I know Sam and Dean agree.” Somehow, you managed to blush more; you doubted he was supposed to share that piece of information. “I suppose in order for me to help you, you must give me your reasoning for these feelings, because I see no evidence to lead you to these thoughts.”

Your mouth was open, forming into a large grin as you shook your head.

“Cas…I don’t know what to say.” You pushed the hair from your face once more, anything to keep your hands busy. All you wanted was to reach out to him. “Thank you.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Have I helped? I still feel lost.”

You laughed, finally giving up your restraint and wrapping your arms around him.

“Oh Cas,” you murmured in his ear. “I’m so glad to have you. I needed to hear what you’ve said more than you know.”

Slowly, he lifted his arms to return the hug, resting his head in your shoulder.

“I’m just glad I could be of assistance,” he assured. “Anytime you need me Y/n, no matter how small the instance, pray for me and I will come to you. I’m here for you, and I always will be.”

You dabbed the tears from your cheek as the words came from his mouth, finally leaning back from the hug. You were surprised to find his face to be tear covered as well. He smiled sadly, wiping away some of yours with the back of his hand. He breathed deeply.

“I wish I could make you understand how wonderful I find you, how wonderful everybody finds you, but I can’t. So, you’re just going to have to trust me.” The sincerity in his voice was everything you needed; this was the conversation you had been yearning for.

“Cas?” you whispered, gathering his tear soaked hand in yours.

“Yes, Y/n?”

“Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone; not anymore.”

He smiled softly. “I’m glad to hear that, because I don’t want to be either.”

Wordlessly, you pointed to your drawers, and Cas immediately followed your directions. He grabbed out one of your cozily large tees and stepped out of your bedroom for a moment, returning in nothing but the shirt and his underwear. You flushed, but kept your gaze always on his face. You flipped back the blankets beside you, and once more Cas obeyed your instruction. As he settled into bed, you grabbed your tea, placing one of his arms around you as you nestled your back closer to his chest. You closed your eyes, listening to the calming beat of his heart.

That night, you and Cas talked. It was the most you’d talked to someone in ages, but you couldn’t seem to stop. Being with him was addictive; it was all you’d ever wanted and more. He talked to you about history, telling stories in detail of your favorite historical figures and poets. He was gentle and kind and always loving, sometimes stroking your hair, or holding your hand, or just simply pulling you close. With Cas, talking wasn’t a struggle, but an easy flow. Your smile grew larger as the night wore on, and you talked until your tea was gone and your eyes were barely able to stay open. When you finally drifted to sleep, you were at the most peace you’d been in ages, knowing he’d be right there when you woke up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tags, Michelle’s Cas Tags, Pond’s Cas Tags:

@jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsam @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @peppermintbisexual @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby @keepcalmandcarryondean @theficlibrarium @ruprecht0420 @mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @theficlibrarium @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @castielspahdehrah @beriala @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @MrsJohnSmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @SinceriouslyAmellPadalecki @i-never-said-a-pilot @supermoonpanda @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @fandommaniacx @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls @shortandlongstories @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @bkwrm523 @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @for-the-love-of-dean @winchesterfiesta @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @winchesters-princess @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @katnharper @impossible-box @tia58 @castiels-forbidden-angel @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @babypieandwhiskey @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @revwinchester @klaineaholic @pinknerdpanda @quiddy-writes @inmysparetime0 @hexparker @alangel1895 @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @whispersandwhiskerburn @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @wildfirewinchester @for-the-love-of-dean @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @fiveleaf @deansleather @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @mrswhozeewhatsis @idreamofhazel @ilovedean-spn2 @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @writingbeautifulmen @revwinchester @oldfashioncdvillain @your-average-distracted-waffle @drarina1737 @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @mysaintsasinner @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @clueless-gold @melbelle45

#fandomwritingchallenge #cas fanfiction #castiel fanfiction #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #trashyfamilynet #sinnerfam #mattcohenssspnfam #ultravioletcasfam #princesscasfam #deathfam #jenmishfam #octospnfam #astralisfam #stardustfam #mishacollinsappreciationnet

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deansleather · 8 years ago

Text

In Love With You

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Prompt: Can’t Help Falling in Love- Haley Reinhart for @wildfirewinchester ‘s Birthday Challenge!

Summary: After being saved on a rogue demon hunt, you feel a sense of comfort residing with Sam at the bunker. As your feelings start to strengthen, you can’t help but wonder; can something real be built off all your lies?

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 2888

Warnings: fluff and angst, tragic past and dark thoughts of reader (inferred thoughts by actions, could be triggering for some), despite all that still v lovey

A/N: I’ve missed my Sammy! This fic definitely has some angst, but I do feel it’s quite romantic all the same. I hope you enjoy! And, of course, FEEDBACK IS SOOO VERY NEEDED AND APPRECIATED! EVEN JUST A LIKE MEANS THE WORLD!

“No one ever fell in love gracefully.” ― Connie Brockway, The Bridal Season

With labored breath, Sam finally managed to spit out the exorcism chant. The demon had picked one hell of a vessel, seeing as both the highly skilled Winchesters were exhausted by the end of their fight. Halfway through, they were tempted to just kill the damn demon, vessel or no vessel, and call it a day. Sam was quickly thankful that was not their decision. The black of the demon quickly flowed out, pouring into the ground with a sense of finality. Sam looked to Dean uncertainly when a smirk came over your features, as opposed to the usual look of terror after an exorcism was successfully completed.

“I figured someday I’d come across the Winchesters,” you teased. “Yet somehow this wasn’t how I’d imagined it.”

Sam’s head swiveled from you to Dean, completely thrown off. “You’re a hunter?”

You shrugged. “Part-time. I’m obviously not serious enough to get an anti-possession tattoo.”

“…But you’re serious enough to be in the midst of a demon brothel take down?” Dean shot back, his arms crossed.

“More like bored enough, but essentially yes.” Both the brothers just stared at you. “Look, this place is like ten minutes away from my family. I’m just in the hunting world enough to know about the happenings. Trust me, I would have loved to have been able to ignore this. Ignorance is bliss and all. I know you two understand.”

There was silence for a moment, before Dean let out an impressed laugh, looking to Sam.

“Well, damn,” Dean snorted, looking you up and down. “Aren’t you something.”

You smiled, but were quickly distracted by the pang in your stomach. Being possessed was hardly a pleasant thing, but it was definitely memorable. You remembered the demon entering you, the feeling of its damned “soul” bumping into yours, the stress as you watched the Winchesters struggle by the actions of your own hands. Blood soaked through your shirt from your fight with Sam and Dean, the cut deep enough to make you weary, but not enough to keep you down.

“She’s hurt,” Sam whispered to himself, rushing to you just in time to save you from your own weak knees. Your faces were mere inches apart, and you prayed to whatever higher being there was that you didn’t faint.

“Hmm,” you purred, feeling as your eyes drooped. “You must be the pretty one everyone always talks about.”

Sam laughed, gathering you entirely in his arms with ease. “That’s probably Dean, but I’ll take it.”

You looked to the shorter brother and back to your current knight, feeling a resounding injustice in that fact. “I don’t know about that.”

“Ouch,” Dean huffed, trailing behind Sam and you. “If you weren’t obviously delirious, I might be offended.”

You smiled softly, your vision blackening more and more. “I just have a thing for hair, is all.”

The words just escaped your lips before your vision went entirely black, your body going limp in Sam’s arms. The last thing you heard was Sam’s panicked tone before going into a deep sleep.

You woke up in a simple bedroom, the blankets tucked around you softly, the open door letting a very dim light in from the hallway. You tried to sit up, but immediately gave up that plan. Your head was swimming, your entire body weak. Fighting monsters wasn’t new to you, but there was something seriously disconcerting about being possessed. The feeling of hopelessness, the complete lack of control, the disgust at what your own body was doing; it was a lot to just brush off. Then your mind wandered to what it usually does when you think of hunting; the Winchesters. They had been possessed and beaten and sent to hell, and were still standing. If they could do it, so could you.

The thought comforted you, until you remembered that they were the last people you’d seen before blacking out. Confused, you rubbed at your eyes with a slight moan, reaching one arm out in hopes of finding a light. Your hand felt up a night stand, reaching until finally you clicked on the table side lamp. You blinked at the sudden influx of bright, turning your head away to recover. You were hurt more than you had thought. Gentle footsteps sounded down the hall, but you were much too weak to care.

“Oh,” the voice said, stopping at the door frame. “You’re awake. How’re you feeling?”

His voice was unbelievably gentle, his expression one of complete concern. You blinked, attempting to clear your vision. He held a tray in his hands, the flannel of his shirt rolled up his arms and his hair wildly pulled back. He was disheveled and worried, yet entirely beautiful. You mustered what you could of a smile.

“I’m alright. Glad to see you instead of some demon.”

Sam laughed softly, placing the tray on the stand beside you. “At least I’m a bit better than those.”

Looking at him strangely, you began to question him, but he cut you off before you could.

“I brought you some soup. It’s just the canned stuff, but it’s all we had and I didn’t want to leave you here to go get something better.” He shuffled slightly, tugging his hair out of its ponytail nervously. “You’re at our bunker. We have some…connections that, uh, can help heal you.”

“The angel, I’m guessing?” You raised an eyebrow. He nodded, that lovely smile of his shining at you.

“Yeah, Castiel.” He sat down at the foot of the bed as you scooted to a sitting position, placing the tray on your lap. Gently and slowly, you placed a spoonful of chicken noodle to your lips. Sam cleared his throat.

“Well, I guess we should properly introduce ourselves. I’m Sam, and that was my brother Dean you saw before. Him and Cas are out looking into the source of the brothel.”

You nodded, taking in another spoonful before responding. “I’m Y/n.”

Sam took out his cellphone, quickly placing it on your tray as well. “I’m sure you’ll want to call your family and let them know you’re okay.”

You looked at it for a moment, a feeling of dread in your gut. “Uh… well they didn’t know I was going to hunt, so it’s probably for the best I don’t make them worry. I don’t live with them anyway, so they won’t notice for a while.” The words left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you push the entire tray away for fear of getting sick. Or, even sicker, that is.

“Alright,” Sam said, that note of worry returning. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

You shook your head, but panicked as he started to leave, tray in hand.

“Wait!” you called out. He stopped without thought, turning back on his heel to face you. “I…Can you stay? Please? I just really can’t be alone right now.”

Sam’s eyebrows crinkled at your words, yet he placed the tray back down returned to his place at the foot of the bed. You shook your head, patting the area beside you.

“C’mon,” you smiled. “If you’re going to be stuck in here with me, you might as well get comfortable.”

He smiled back, again obeying your request.

“Hey Sam,” you murmured as he finally relaxed.

“Yeah Y/n?”

“Thank you so much for helping me. I…I really need it right now.”

He rested his head against the bedframe gently, stretching out his legs beside yours. “No worries. It’s not bad for me to get some rest either.”

You looked around the room, noticing very little of Sam within it. There was the closet filled with flannel, and the gun resting on top of a dresser, but other than that it could have been any average hotel room. The bed was comfortable, but hardly lived in. You wondered if the Winchesters ever really got to sleep.

“Is this where you live, or do you just pass through here?” you asked softly, afraid to entirely disturb the peaceful silence.

“We hardly stay at any place long, but this is the closest thing to a home base besides the Impala,” he responded, his tone hushed, mimicking yours.

“Don’t you ever feel…lonely?”

Sam was silent for a moment, nothing but the sounds of breathing filling the room. After a bit, he finally responded, still in that soft tone.

“Yes and no. I mean, I have Dean and Cas, and they’re family and always will be. But sometimes…I don’t know. I just wonder sometimes if there’s more out there, you know?”

You nodded, your eyes tearing up slightly. ”Yeah, I get it Sam.”

“What about you? I mean, by the sounds of it, you seem to have people to go back to.” His question was sincere, he could have no idea how much it stung.

“I suppose,” you finally muttered, letting your eyes close. “I think I’m gonna nap. Would you just stay till I’m asleep?”

He nodded, patting your leg gently. “I’ll stay as long as you want me.”

You opened your eyes long enough just to see him blush at his forward statement, before letting yourself drift off, with a strangely content smile on your face.

Weeks passed quickly in the bunker, Sam leaving your side only when a hunt called. You healed without incident with Castiel aiding you, though you still felt the resounding discomfort of having a demon once inside you. You bonded with all the boys, began to care for all of them individually, in different ways. You felt for Dean, understood his mindset, wanted him to find some peace someday. You doted over Cas, feeling a strange sense of motherly instincts over the sometimes-naïve angel. Most of all though, you bonded with Sam.

You learned how he liked his coffee in the morning, watched how he would gently flick each page of the book he was reading, listened to his off-key humming that he thought no one could hear. He was sweet and soft and warm and the closest thing to sunshine you would ever be able to touch. You wanted his safety at all costs, prayed he could find happiness, and most of all…you loved him.

It felt strange ever thinking it, but it was true. Somehow, within a matter of a few months, he had become your main reason for living. In that way more than anything, you could relate to Dean. Strange as it may be, you had become a part of the backwards family, yet could never fully let yourself belong with them. It felt so wrong to add yourself in with these people who completely opened their arms to you, when you had never offered up any true information about yourself. It was a crime and a sin, yet the thought of leaving was unbearable.

The same thoughts swam through your mind on repeat, but you brushed them off as you made breakfast. The boys had just gotten home from a four-day hunt, and were particularly exhausted. You decided they deserved a little pampering; besides, if you were going to live there rent free, you might as well help them out.

You made up Sam’s coffee in his favorite way, copious cream and scant sugar, and began your way towards his room. You finally managed to convince him to take his bedroom back, seeing as you were no longer in need of a comfortable bed to get well in. It took a lot of back and forth and stubborn statements, but finally you were able to get your way.

You stopped just outside his door as you heard a soft conversation going on. Ever-so-quietly, you peeked in. Sam lied in bed with Dean sitting near his feet, mirroring you and Sam on your first night at the bunker. Sam rubbed his eyes, shaking his head at whatever Dean had just said. You knew you shouldn’t be creeping, yet you couldn’t pull away.

“Sam, it’s not like you’re forcing her to be here. She’s choosing to stay. Is that not enough of a hint?”

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam refuted. “We’re definitely not ‘part-time’ hunters. I don’t want to drag her deeper into this if it’s not what she wants.”

“That’s what comes with being with us. She’s heard the stories, she knows.” Dean shook his head, sipping the pure black coffee he had gotten himself earlier. “I say you go for it. I gag each time you look at each other, which is a good sign for you.”

“You think she feels the same?” Sam asked genuinely, his eyes wide and hopeful.

“Jesus, you’re dense,” Dean muttered. “Obviously, she does.”

Your stomach was filled with both knots and butterflies. Finally, you could take it no longer, and knocked lightly at the door. Both the boys startled at your sudden presence.

“I brought you coffee.” You held up the cup, giving a half-hearted smile. “Hey, Dean, you mind giving us a second?”

“No problem, sweetheart,” Dean consented, grunting as he stood up. “I think I’m going to spend a little time in bed myself.”

You smiled sympathetically at Dean as he passed you, the hunt taking a larger toll on him than he was willing to admit. Once he was gone, you entered into Sam’s room silently, shutting the door behind you. You placed the coffee on the stand beside him. Gingerly, you spread out next to him.

“Thank you,” Sam said shyly. You nodded. “Listen, Y/n, I don’t know what you heard but if anything made you even slightly comfortable I’m so sorry-“

“No, no, no,” you assured, placing your hand over his mouth before he could continue. “It’s just… I need to tell you something Sam.”

Sam looked at you seriously, his brow furrowing in the typical Sam manner. “What is it, Y/n? Is everything okay?”

You swallowed. “Do you remember the night we met, when I said I was there to protect my family?”

Sam nodded.

“I was lying. It was all a lie. And so was the whole ‘part-time’ hunter thing. I’m more like a wannabe-retired-hunter.” You sighed, rubbing your face roughly, garnering as much strength as you could to continue. “My family died a few years ago in a hunt. It was demons, a whole bunch of them. I don’t know if they just didn’t notice me or what, but I was the only one who lived.”

“Y/n,” Sam’s voice was thick with emotion. “I’m sorry-“

“I’ve done everything these past few years to get the same fate as my family did, even burning off my god-forsaken anti-possession tattoo. So, when I went out that night to ‘protect my family’ against those demons, I wasn’t protecting anybody. I didn’t even want to protect myself, at the time. I wanted to leave my house that night and never come back.” You chuckled to yourself. “In a way, I guess I got what I wanted, just not how I planned.”

The room was heavy with silence as you both digested what you had said. You felt a huge weight off with the secret revealed, yet your stomach was sick with the thought of what may come next.

“I guess what I’m saying is, there’s no way you could ruin my life Sam. There’s no way you could drag me into the world of hunting, because I’m about as deep into it as one can get. The only thing you can do is make my life better, less lonely, and you have done that more than I will ever be able to express or thank you for.”

“Y/n,” Sam finally murmured.

“Yeah Sam?”

“Can I tell you something?”

You closed your eyes, bracing for the worst. “Yeah, whatever you need to say.”

“I’m in love with you.”

You remained tense for a moment, before the words finally sunk in.

“What? Sam, I’ve been lying to you for the entirety of our time together. I don’t deserve love, and certainly not from you.”

“We were strangers, how could I expect you to tell me your whole life story on the first night? Y/n, I don’t care what skeletons are in your closet or what past you’ve had. All I know is I’m falling in love with you, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I can’t help it.”

You grinned slowly at him, a shocked laugh erupting from your lips as the words finally began to hit home.

“Oh, Sam,” you whispered, wrapping your legs gently around his waist until you were straddling him. “I love you.”

With a feeling of joy completely foreign to you, you grabbed Sam’s face in yours and brought your lips together, his warmth sending shivers through your body. You let yourself drown in the moment, forgetting the secrets and the hurt and the past, letting the safety and comfort of Sam’s arms around you and lips on yours be the only thing on your mind. After a few moments, you pulled a way, your breathing slightly efforted.

“Guess this means we don’t have to fight over the bedroom anymore,” you teased. Sam rolled his eyes, laughing as he pulled you back in for another kiss. For the rest of the night and every night after, his arms never ceased from wrapping around you, his love always there, even in your darkest moments.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tags: @jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsam @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @peppermintbisexual @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @thinkwriteexpress @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby @keepcalmandcarryondean

Sam Tags: @captain-princess-rose @ophcelia @thing-you-do-with-that-thing

Michelle’s Sam Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @theficlibrarium @blushingsamgirl @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @ezauraemmaline @matteson-crazed @castielspahdehrah @beriala @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @gryffindorable713 @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @mrsjohnsmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @i-never-said-a-pilot @thewinchestielboys @supermoonpanda @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @fandommaniacx @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @samanddeanwinchester67 @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls @shortandlongstories @strange-inhumanity-blog @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @hellbentcrowley @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @kayteonline @spnsimpleman @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @for-the-love-of-dean @winchesterfiesta @zanthiasplace @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @winchesters-princess @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @tia58 @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @jotink78 @everyday-supernatural-af @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @supernatural-jackles @babypieandwhiskey @mysaintsasinner @chelsea-winchester @spn-fan-girl-173 @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @iamreadinginsecret @revwinchester @klaineaholic @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @supernaturalismalife @pinknerdpanda @inmysparetime0 @hexparker

Pond’s Sam Tags: @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @blushingsamgirl @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @whispersandwhiskerburn @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @wildfirewinchester @frenchybell @scorpiongirl1 @for-the-love-of-dean @mysupernaturalfics @spn-fan-girl-173 @deandoesthingstome @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @fiveleaf @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @waywardjoy @mrswhozeewhatsis @captain-princess-rose @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @kayteonline @supernatural-jackles @idreamofhazel @wevegotworktodo @ilovedean-spn2 @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @supermoonpanda @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @revwinchester @ageekchiclife @your-average-distracted-waffle @drarina1737 @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @mysaintsasinner @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @bohowitchysoul @clueless-gold @melbelle45 @winchester-family-business @writingbeautifulmen

#Meg’s Birthday Challenge #wildfirewinchester #sam winchester #sam winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #not marvel #spn #mine #trashyfamilynet #mattcohenssspnfam #ultravioletcasfam #princesscasfam #deathfam #sinnerfam #octospnfam #astralisfam #jenmishfam #stardustfam #mishacollinsappreciationnet

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deansleather · 8 years ago

Text

Pale and Flustered

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Prompt: Past Perfect by Louden Swain or @mrswhozeewhatsis Louden Swain mini-bang. Also for SPN Angst Appreciation Day 2017

Summary: As Dean reminisces about the losses of his past, he can’t help but feel immense pain and guilt.

Word Count: 1278

Warnings: ANGST!!, mourning

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

A/N: I loved having this song as inspiration; this is a Dean that I’ve wanted to write for a long time but have never had the inspiration for. Let me know what you think because FEEDBACK IS ADORED AND NEEDED!

“Always just smiles /Always for the lens /Always for your friends /Always for their sake /And now It's takin' all I can muster /Just to wake up all pale and flustered /The cards been folded, I busted /The plates are stacked and the shelves aren't dusted /Take it back and adjust it /The faint nostalgia cannot be trusted.”

Past Perfect - Louden Swain

I sat on my bed, sighing deeply as my eyes closed. The thick paper of the pictures felt especially heavy in my hand in that moment, as if the weight of the world had come to rest upon them: upon me. I had tried drinking it away earlier, but the feeling in my gut stuck with me, just like the nagging voice of my conscience. I looked away from the picture for a moment, up to the cheap mirror I had hung up across from my bed. For a while, I would swear that someone was standing beside my bed, watching me, planning my demise right beside me. The mirror was the only way I could trust that I was truly alone; somehow, that wasn’t much better of a feeling.

Looking into it, I almost laughed at my appearance. I was pathetic. It had been days since I’d left my room, and that was only to grab some sustenance so I could attempt to keep myself alive. I was pale, my hair disheveled and wild, the bags under my eyes vivid blue. This happened annually, every time the new year came around. I had gotten through another year of life, but how many had I left behind? I hated myself in that moment, but I hated myself in most moments, so that wasn’t too much of a burden. It was more than self-hatred then; it was feeling the hatred of the entire fucking world on me. I tried. I did, I tried so hard to be good, only hunting to “save people.” What a crock. Hunters use the job as some sort of sick band-aid, something to make up for the shitty person they became. Nothing could ever fix what I’d done to the world, to the people I supposedly loved.

There was the whole “gang” in one of the pictures, when there was still enough people to be called so. Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Sam, Cas, and I, all standing and looking like the end of the world was upon us. I guess in our minds it was, and to some of us, our end was sooner than we wanted to believe. Jo and Ellen were the first to go, but Bobby wasn’t much longer afterward. More pictures, further back now, showing a fuzzy scene of Sam, Kevin and I, taken when Cas was messing through my phone, clueless. I had it printed not long after he died; I had no way to keep a part of his mom. Even longer ago, a selfie taken by Charlie including Sam and a blurred me, refusing to be caught in the act of “selfie” taking.

I wished now, more than ever, that I would’ve just taken the damn photo. Let Charlie have that moment, just one period in time, where sacrificing for us made sense, where I wasn’t such an ass that doing much of anything for me was senseless. On and on it went: Dad, Rufus, Pamela, not to mention the countless others who never got captured on film. In my mind, these were memories of picturesque bliss, a perfect time of liveliness and safety, but it’s so paper thin. Every damn moment of our life is filled with agony and suffering, no matter how pretty it looks on paper. A gentle rapping came at the door then, Y/n peeking her head in slightly with a gentle smile. She gave a soft wave, and I attempted my normal smirk. Peeking at the mirror, it was obvious I had failed.

“Heya,” Y/n greeted as naturally as possible, her voice barely audible as she tested the waters. “I haven’t heard from you in a few days, and we live in the same place.” She laughed nervously. “Just wanted to make sure everything is…alright.” I nodded, shrugging as a response. Y/n swallowed, easing her way into the room, sitting at the foot of my bed. She glanced around at my surroundings and for the first time I took inventory of what I had been living in; muddy and blood-soaked clothes strewn across the floor, empty bottles of cheap beer that tasted more like rubbing alcohol than a relaxer, crumpled up napkins all over from the copious crying I had tried to hide, dust on every piece of furniture (probably including myself). I was the worst scum of the earth, but my room was definitely a close second. She glanced down at the photos, nodding as she began to understand. She cleared her throat.

“Rough few days, I take it?” I nodded. She shuffled, rubbing her hands together as she continued. “Maybe you just need to get out a little, huh? Sam and I were planning on maybe going out, getting some drinks, celebrating the New Year like most people do, since we’re pretty good on cases. What do you say?” I just shook my head, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion. I had forgotten how draining it was to interact with people who care; they don’t give up. “Well it feels wrong to just leave you here by yourself, Dean.”

“Y/n,” I finally grumbled. “Just go.”

She looked around my room, sighing as she got up with hands on her hips.

“Fine,” she muttered. “But I’ll be damned if I’m leaving you in these conditions.”

She began at work, leaving the room and returning with a clothes basket filled with cleaning supplies. She began dusting, even going as far to grab the pictures from my hands and wipe the storage grime off them. Gingerly grabbing each napkin, wrapper, and bottle from the floor and nightstand, she tossed them in a garbage bag. By the time she was done, the bag was easily half full. She never stopped and I never moved; it felt like she was on fast forward all around me, while I was too stuck in my own head to catch up. Finally, all the clothes were in the hamper and all the trash in a bag, the room felt new again; I wished I could say the same for myself.

“Alright,” she sighed, looking at me with sad eyes as she stood in the door frame with the garbage and basket in hand. “Are you sure you’ll be okay tonight? It’s really no problem for me to stay home, I don’t care that much about it.”

“Y/n.”

“Fine, fine,” she relented, her tone quickly turning to pleading. “Just…please take care of yourself, Dean. We’ll be home soon.”

I nodded, Y/n mustering the best smile she could as she left. I shut my eyes tightly, managing to get my creaky joints moving quick enough to stand up and catch her before she left for the night. As she passed my door, I grabbed her by the arm. It was about time I started appreciating the people I loved while I still had them.

“Hey,” I mumbled, my voice barely functioning. “What you did was…nice. Thanks.” Y/n nodded, her glittery makeup shining as she looked up at me.

“Don’t mention it,” she assured, patting my cheek lightly. “If you need anything, just call me.”

“You coming, Y/n?” Sam called from the library. Y/n looked back, smiling at me and waving as she ran towards him.

“Yup! Here I come!”

I stood in the door frame until she was no longer in the hall, quickly shutting my door and leaning my back against it. I took as many deep breaths as I could manage, before my knees gave up and my back slid down the dark wood of my door. I couldn’t be sure, but I just hoped that they had left before they heard my sobs ring through the bunker’s desolate halls.

~~~~~~

Forever + Dean tags, Michelle’s Dean tags, Pond’s Dean tags:

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